Podcast About List - Ep. 111 - Halloween Special (Cash Money Heroes)

Episode Date: August 12, 2020

BOO! Happy Halloween. surubaibe to www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist

You're listening to Israel's number one podcast. Podcasts to the ball list. You're a crap monster. Are you reporting, Caleb? Boom. Ah! Ooh! What?

Welcome to the podcast about list. Halloween special. Yeah. It's... Today, it's set of podcasts about list. It's ghostcast about... Mist. Mist, the mist of the ghost.

Oh, no. Podcasts about myths. Oh, my God. If you're going to scream like that, you have to do it far away from the microphone, okay? Podcasts about crypts. Not because I care about it, but because it will ruin the audio. No, just move your head away. You don't have to move the whole arm.

It's going to make a weird noise on the audio. Well, then it's adding to the scariest. Okay, now podcast about a split body in half. pretty scary stuff fog cast about about a creature in the fog oh wow that's good yeah this is our very own this is like our treehouse of horror mm-hmm because we're doing it because this is coming out on Halloween Fantassion's ghost is in the tree house all right now I feel sick every time I scream are you You're that... Yeah, you need to go to the doctor.

You had fragile? No, I had... A scream throws you out of homeostasis. Oh, no, I've been screaming all morning, so that was actually the young to scream I did. This was almost a chicken brain episode. I found a chicken spot in town. No. Uh-huh.

No, don't do it. I had to lay down for a little bit. I had to get the chicken out of my system. You know better than that. I know. I forgot. I forgot what chicken does to us before we record. I don't think it's the meat.

I think it's the skin. It's the skin. It's the skin. The skin on that chicken was good. I think it might be the curse. Yeah. I think it might be the curse that the witch put on us to be stupid whenever we eat chicken. I forgot about the curse.

Duh. You guys are so stupid. Everything has to be scary. This is episode 1-1-1, okay? And there's six of us that do the podcast, six times, because we all have split personalities like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, six times one-one. This is Mrs. Hyde. No.

That's your split personality. Yeah. At night you turn into Mrs. Hyde. Mine is Mr. Fly. And I'm very cool. No. Yeah. You can't fly.

Six times one-one. You guessed it. Friday the 13th. The scariest number of all time. No. No. Well, you're going to start off this episode with some very scary stories. Yeah, we're going to tell scary stories around the campfire.

Yeah. We have a campfire here. I'm smoking a cigar We're gonna tell a scary story I just put a whole I dropped a sausage into the campfire Why do you pick it up I'm roasting a ritz cracker on a skewer

Like it's a marshmallow I'm roasting a human leg Oh my god Patrick if you want I just want to just like a quick sidebar There's a very easy fix To make people stop saying they want to hit you with the bus and it's to not scream directly into the mic every 30 seconds on this episode.

Wait, hold on. Hold on. Patrick needs to folate the mic really quick. Did you mute himself? Did you mute yourself? Yeah. How much you want to bet that screwed up your audio and audacity? No, it did not. All right.

My audio's fine. I just clicked the button. Anyway, we're at the campfire. Yeah. We're going to tell some stories. Cameron, how about you go first? Oh, I have to go first. or someone else i'll go first i'll go first all right no wait Patrick just left so i guess um yeah no that's fine yeah just stand up and walk away in the

way away from the campfire yeah sure yeah the campfires here i'm sorry the campfire's gonna go out Caleb was doing a voice that was too scary and i got too scared you didn't get to leave the room you did not get that scared i got so scared just now are you guys ready for my scary story i'm i'm gonna leave again this is good this is going to to scare the pants right off you. Okay? This story is called the terrifying story

of the crazy Can you take it back? Murderer. No, take it back, dude. I'm serious. All right, are you guys ready? I know. Of course not.

Why not? Wait. Maybe I'll do that. Maybe I'll do a light scream. That's smart. Is this working? I'm... It was a dark

and evil night. Not a creature was stirring, except for some ghosts. But that's a story for another time. Little 12-year-old Patrick lived alone with his mom and dad and brothers and sisters, and his aunt lived next door, and he had two hairless cats. But his brothers and sisters were away on vacation, and his aunt was in timeout. And tonight, on Friday the 13th, his parents were going on a date. They hired a babysitter, and they were talking to the babysitter about the rules of the house.

That fell out of his chair. Patrick just fell off on it. Are you okay, Patrick? One second. Say something. Are you okay? You have to stop scaring me so much. Tone it down, Cam.

Fuck, dude. They were talking to the babysitter about the rules of the house. One, Patrick can't play with toys. Two. He really hurt himself He just broke something in his house Rule number two I'm telling you right now

Stop scaring me this much Rule number two Patrick can't eat snacks I'm not going to do it Rule number three You can't even see it You can't even see it I don't know why I'm still doing it

Patrick can only watch one minute of TV per night. Patrick started to cry and went to lie down in his room from sadness. Right before Patrick's mom and dad went out to their date, his dad stopped and turned to the babysitter. One more thing, he said. There's a freak on the loose in the neighborhood tonight. A freak? asked the babysitter. Her name was Vicki the babysitter, by the way.

Yes, a freak, said Patrick's dad. He's a serial killer and he's obsessed with killing babysitters. He was in the asylum, but he escaped by getting out of his cell. Now he's walking around the neighborhood looking for babysitters. Holy crap, said Vicky the babysitter. Yes, it's terrifying, said Patrick's dad. That's why we are going to another town for our date. He's called the crazy murderer, and he wears a mask that looks like a clown's face.

He has been taking clown hormones for years, so if you take off his mask, his face also looks like a clown's face, and he has big clown feet. Plus, he has bat wings, and he carries a butcher's knife in one hand, and a dead child's doll in the other hand. The doll is haunted, and if you look into its eyes, you see a green light that captures your soul. The crazy murderer is from Egypt, so he can cast a mummy's curse on his victims. He's also Native American, so he can shape-shift. He can time travel, so he has visited every world culture, and he has a place in their legends. He's also a werewolf, which is separate from the shapeshifting, by the way. But tonight is the full moon, Vicky said. Exactly, said Patrick's dad. That means the crazy murderer will turn into a wolf with blood red eyes. He can

Smell children being babysat from 100 miles away, and he has a hook in place of one hand so that he can catch children like a fish. He drives an ice cream truck, but instead of selling ice cream, it sells blood and eyeballs. The ice cream truck plays the Lavender Town scary music, and it's driven by the ghost of a child. The crazy murderer rides in the backseat and sticks his head out the window like a dog. One time the window got rolled up by accident, and it cut the crazy murderer's head off, so it had to get stitched back on with barbed wire. He's immortal, so it's okay for his head to get cut off. He has the eyes of a spider and the claws of a dark demon.

So what do I do if he comes to the house? asked Vicky the babysitter. He's already here. I can see him through the window, said Patrick's dad. Then Vicky turned around and said, oh my God. Also, Patrick's mom's mouth was sewed shut by a voodoo doctor. That's why she hasn't talked in the story. The reason Vicky the babysitter said, oh my God, was because there was nothing at the

window. Patrick's dad was just tricking her. She didn't realize that the people talking to her were never even Patrick's parents after all. The dad was the crazy. murderer all along and the mom was bloody Mary. They were pretending to be Patrick's parents to get into the house and kill the babysitter.

They killed the babysitter and drove away in the ice cream truck. The ghost child who drove the truck, wicked at the camera. Patrick stopped crying and came downstairs because he sensed there was no more babysitter. He was so excited he got his favorite Lego toy set and ate a corn dog and sat in front of the TV. He turned it on and Squidward's suicide was on the TV

and he watched it for 10 minutes and went crazy. He had to go to the asylum. and turned into the crazy murderer. Then, once he grew up, he time traveled back to his house to kill Vicky the babysitter to get rid of all the rules from his house.

What happened to Patrick's real mom and dad, you may ask? Well, remember the ghosts from the beginning of the story? Oh, my God. Yep, that was his parents. Boo! Ah! That's the story of the terrifying story of the crazy murderer. Oh, my.

God. I'm shaking. Even reading that was difficult for me. I fell out of my chair twice. Pat, what was that like for you? I don't know. I fell out of my chair. No, I mean, for that to happen to you. Oh. It's terrifying. It was, I bet it was, dude. I bet it was. I mean, that's more terrifying than I could imagine. Yeah. If that happened to me, I would scream. I fell out of the chair so hard, I scared the cats out of ever coming down. at the shorem again. You're kind of the horror movie. Every day of those cats' lives and it was a horror movie,

you're just a monster who walks around and grabs them and shows their balls in their friend's face. Stalking around the house going, yeah! Yeah! That's true.

It's true. Yeah. All right. Who's ready for another scary story? I don't think I'm ready. I'm freaking out, but I have one. I feel like we need a happy story. Here, I'll tell a happy story.

We need to break it up. Yeah. Yeah, I'll tell it. There is a very, there's a great, there's a great movie. It's called Air Force One. It has Hans Solo in it, and he's president, and there's terrorists, and they get on the plane as he's on, and he has to fight them, and he actually, he kills every one of them, and he survives. That's pretty good. That's pretty happy.

You're feeling a little better? Yeah. I feel a lot better. Okay. Let's do another scary. Pat, you want to say your scary story? I'll tell my scary story. Okay. On the scariest night of the year, Friday the 13th. Okay.

I came home to see my home in complete disarray. I walked into the front door and all of my funcos were out of their boxes. I looked over to my wife's room and she, She wasn't in there with her awesome boyfriend. I grew to be terrified of this so much that I dropped my bag of wute stouts on the ground, causing them all to explode. The foamy, hoppy goodness leaked all over my Mass Effect Asari Body Pillow that my wife and her extraordinary boyfriend take turns watching me fuck every Friday night.

The pillow absorbed most of the moisture, so I picked it up and started sucking the delicious wootstout that I earned after a long week's work at the Think Geek Factory. I sucked it right out of the pillows pussy hole. I was scared as hell, but I couldn't let that beautiful golden IPA go to waste. Anyway, I digress.

The point of this story is that I was scared as hell, but I could I was seriously terrified. I couldn't believe it. It had happened. I couldn't believe my own eyes. My 30 to 50 feral hogs had finally

unionized. I ran to the door But tripped over my RCBB8 that I also fuck And I fell face first onto the floor And chipped all my teeth Just then An unfamiliar foot stomped right in my face I looked up in sheer terror

My 30-50 feral hogs Brought Carol freaking Baskins into my home No To be continued That's the scariest ending of all time I think what's so scary about that is the cliffhanger at the end. Yeah, anything could happen.

It also means that we have to go through it. We sit through another scary story at some point. That's this prospect of another scary story. We're not safe. There's no end yet, no end in sight. Yeah. All right, can someone else tell a happy story? Yeah, I got one for you.

Basically, there's these little fellows that work for a guy named Gru, and they do mischief and come up with different inventions. The Ming Yang's. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, I just came up with that. I don't know what you're talking about. Really? Yeah, I just made it up.

We're going to make you a millionaire. Yeah, I'm thinking, I'm thinking of making a movie about them called The Fellows. The Yellow Fellows. Called, I Am Despicable. You ready for my scary story? Yeah. All right. It's called Scary Story by Caleb Pitts.

There was a carpenter. Let me try that again. There was a carpenter who traveled around the land, growing his hair out really long, tanning and fucking perfect tens in every town he went to. He would have women wash his feet and they would gobble on his balls. And then he'd probably go surfing after that. he would do a thousand pull-ups a day and he was ripped he had a squad of other jacked assholes yeah i'm an asshole so what and they would tag team girls and they would eat huge

feasts and they all had long ass hair and they like to fish together life was good then one day one of his friends started tattletailing on him like a puss he told the nerds of the town about his friend and about how much hole he was getting and about how much food he was eating At the time, you couldn't eat a lot of food at once. It was illegal. The nerds controlled all of the banks in the town, and so they had the power to stop him. The nerds grabbed a man, and they punched him,

and then they put him onto a cross, and they crucified him until he was dead. Now, you may be thinking, that's just some story. That could never actually happen, but it did. Yeah, it happened to a man named Jesus Christ. and he actually died he died for your sin in the end of the story

the end oh my god oh my god I came up with a sigh of it you know loving your neighbor more I have an idea for a sequel he could turn into a zombie

and they could make a day a day to celebrate him turning into a zombie oh my god that would be even more terrifying oh my god that would be so scary I, that, a zombie of him? I'm having a picnic attack just thinking about that.

A zombie of the coolest guy ever did, a picnic attack? I'm having a picnic attack right now and just absolutely. I'm getting Pikmin attacked, just thinking about it. So those are scary stories. Yeah. Some of them scared me too much. Some of them could really happen. Some of them did happen.

No, but the listeners can't see this, but raise your hand if you put a little pee in your pants while we were listening to these. Wow. That's about what I thought. I'm not going to say who raised their hand, but let's just say it was anonymous. Yep. Yeah. Or Sunanimous.

Sunanimous. Anonymous's wife is named Soonanimous. So, you know, I think you guys get the idea. What are you guys dressing up as for Halloween today? Myself. I'm one of those awesome guys. Yeah, I'm going is 45. yeah yeah i'm going about scary i'm going as i'm going as uh as somebody who's been red-pilled

because the scariest thing to most people is someone who knows the truth and it wasn't afraid to oh my god yeah i'm going as a truth teller i'm going as eric winstein yeah yeah i'm going to walk in there and i'm just going to be like yeah math proves that gay people are wrong and people are going pretty scared i'm going as julian asange neo combination whoa yeah One of the scariest things to the modern masses of society. He is kind of the real-life Neo. That's true. Let's punch this out.

Let's beat this out. Julian Assange's Neo. The United States government is a robot. Yep. Angelina Jolie is... Salt. The girl. She's salt.

She's salty. Yeah. She's Hannah. And it's both of them versus America. And Obama is Morpheus. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Obama is Morpheus.

Obama's Morpheus. Okay. Yeah. He's dark Morpheus. He's evil Morpheus. Yeah. Good Morpheus is Kanye West. It's Laurence Fishburn still.

No, it's Kanye West and Lauren's Fisburn. No one else could play Morphius. They switch off every scene. No. Cameron, you're wrong about that. They switch off every scene. They switch up. You're not making any sense, Cam.

It's making me sad, but you're not making any sense right now, buddy. Yep. You're talking like a crazy person. Yeah, that's what most people say about truth tellers. And that's terrifying me right now. You're scaring me on Halloween. Can you just invite us into your world right now? Can you bring this into your terrifying world?

Can you just start the list and show us a glimpse of the dark mind behind other podcasts such as this one? What? You're terrifying mind palace. We just want to see you into your mind. Okay, so basically, imagine a gothic castle. Uh-huh. Filled with 100 vampires of Dracula. I exit the mind.

I click exit of the mind. It's too scary for me. I knew it. I knew you guys couldn't handle it. This mind. This mind is getting me so scared. It's giving me indigestion. This mind is freaking me.

You're mind freaking me, and I need you to calm. I need you to calm down. Oh, my God. You're like an evil doctor, which is the scariest thing. I'm like a mad scientist. You're kind of like Dr. Terrible sing-along blog. Yeah. Yeah.

That's your kind of terror. I'm kind of like Dr. Anthony Fauci, who seems to be scaring all of these Republicans nowadays. Yeah, scaring all of the geniuses out of drinking hydrochloroxiclone. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, maybe they don't want us taking it because it's too hard to pronounce. That's what it is. Yeah, they need to come up with the...

Doctors don't want to have to write that whole thing down on a prescription. We'll just wait, we'll wait for the shorter cure. Hydro is, well, eh, just, fuck, just, it doesn't again. This stuff is illegal. It's illegal. Yeah, you can't have this, actually. Yeah, this will kill you. Yeah.

Yeah, it actually kills you instantly if you take it. So, yeah. We're just going to give you Advil. Yeah. Doctors, doctors are trying to get rid to stop people from drinking bleach because they're worried there's not going to be enough left to use on their lab coats. That's true. Keep it crispy.

Yeah. It'd be a shortage. Use your brain, dude. Escape from the prison they construct from you. Escape from where they want you to wear. Escape from which mountain. Escape from which mountain, Dwayne the Rock Johnson. Get scared of it.

So today, in keeping with the Halloween theme and the theme of fear, we are doing the top ten scariest things ever. On the top tens. Yeah. And I thought that we had done this list before. but I looked back into our archive and he unlocked the vault and oh back into the dark 31 which interestingly today Halloween is also in its own way kind of a dark 31

oh my god we did the list top 10 scariest things ever to see so it's completely different from this list so it's a different completely different it's true we're fine this is new content number one scariest thing ever is being buried alive not that scary Yeah, that's scary.

Are you kidding me? If you, think about it. Okay, well, they're not being specific. Okay, imagine this. You are hanging out in your house, okay? You're playing video games, you're watching TV, right? You think, oh, I need to take the dog out. You open up your front door, and it's just a block of dirt.

And you realize that your entire house has been buried underground. Yeah. It's not that scary? Well, okay. Your life's not any different. All right, here's a better. shit in your bed but that's fine here's a better scenario you wake up you find out that you're buried under one million coins that's one of the best things gold coins like screw in you're under scrooge

mud duck's money pit madduck scrooge mudduck scrooge mudduck okay there's a comment under his pit yeah yeah how do you but so how do you get out of that you have to spend all the money You do You put Amazon orders in You get them COD And then they have to So once you get out Of the gold coin pit

You got a bunch of packages Holy crap And you get to do unboxing videos And you grow your wealth Exactly That's why you were And then you realize that you got knocked out From all the coin amnesia

And now you And that's what actually put you Under the coins in the first place And then you're Because you're making so much ad sense money and then you keep doing it because you keep forgetting. And then you have to write, and then you write, you're not very smart, though. So you try to do a memento thing where you remind yourself with tattoos on your body,

but you just write coins on your arm. Yeah, and then you look around, you go, yep. Yep, that's about right. There are coins. That's a really good point, arm. Here's a comment on this one that says, what about your house burning on fire? I'm not saying this is the scariest thing,

but it is the scariest thing that ever happened to me. It happened to me in February of 2018. A house two doors down for me was on fire I live in a townhouse so all the houses are connected And it spread to the house right next door And then my roof was smoking But my house didn't go on fire But I was very scared because I thought my house might burn down

I hadn't got my diary or my books or my clothes Whoa Yeah if my stuff got burnt I'd be so scared Yeah if my roof started smoking Uh huh You know I'm grabbing my diary first I'm grabbing my diary I'm grabbing my palm pilot I'm grabbing my Nokia N gauge

You're grabbing your diary with a bun bucket out of the toilet and then you're leaving. That's all you take. Come on. You're leaving your girlfriend and your cats inside and you're taking your diarrhea. Yeah, you're taking it all the way home. I'm not. I'm not taking any diarrhea home with me. Yeah, you are. Listen to this comment about being buried alive. Just imagine being in a dark, cold space waiting to die, and you keep screaming, but no one can hear you, and as the hours

past, you feel worthless. It would be like putting a granny in a room, take her off her medication, knowing she will die in a few hours, and then shut the door and walk out with the granny knowing what will happen. I've done that to a granny. You've done a lot of stuff to a granny. Yeah. A granny Smith.

Yeah. Yeah, I smoked weed out of a granny Smith before. Yeah, I smoked weed out of your granny. No, you didn't. Yeah, I did. My Nana would never let you do that. Mm-hmm. She's not built for it.

My Nana smoked weed once in the 70s, and she said that she vomited for three days. And she said that was the only time she ever smoked weed. She's like actually allergic to weed And I don't believe her She probably smoked She probably smoked K2 back then Probably

I don't know I think being buried alive I don't know I feel like I'd kill Bill that shit You know Or just ring the bell You just ring the bell You just ring the bell

Yeah the Victorian Graveyard bell It's not that hard Yeah pretty easy They have a bell at the graveyard they have a bell at the graveyard You can ring it when dinner's done It's pretty big

That's why they had that bell That's how you got somebody to come dig you up Is you would ring the bell And they would think Oh, there's dinner down there I guess I'll dig him up And see if there's dinner in there They buried a habachi chef under the hair

Damn he still had an egg in his hat When we put him down there We need to dig him back up. Oh, I should have known that there's a tower of onion rings that were on fire. This heroic kabachi chef was saved during this mass shooting when the bullet was stopped by the shrimp in his chest pocket. I would never be buried alive, though. This is all true. My friend secretly ate a deep sleep medicine, and she went to sleep for 24 hours. Then when her family came and thought, she was dead and buried her when she woke she was buried alive

and then what happened that's the end of the story that she she farted and they all died someone says I don't agree on this it's actually quite fun really whoa whoa twisted crazy psycho oh my god someone says nothing like a psychopath burying you alive but psychopath that spelled C Y C-C-O path Sickopath. This is what happened to my great grandpa, died by this on D-Day. You're buried alive on D-Day? I don't believe that.

I believe it, dude. Imagine waking up in a coffin and you struggle to breathe. I get clostophobic, so please, it's no laughing matter. I think being buried alive is definitely one of my worst fears. Really? Now someone's going to do it to me. God damn it Probably a fan

A fan is going to bury you alive There's a comment on here that says Apparently they used to bury people alive Okay this is an open Invitation for anyone Open warning No open warning at any time If you bury me alive

I will help I will be pissed I'll be pissed I'll be pissed I'm imagining just like a circular coffin they just fit you in like a gear

someone comments this is really scary but five nights at Freddy should be number one facts facts yeah spitting straight facts when you're unable to move

that's terrible not that scary I would say being buried alive is not my number one Russia, a girl named Sasha, was 16-year-old, and she slept a really long time. So her mom and dad thought she was dead. They buried her, and then Sasha woke up and said, where am I? Wait, I'm buried. Help, help, help, please, wait, I can't breathe.

And 16 minutes later, she was dead. She was beatiful. Ariana Grande. They buried Ariana Grande alive. Number two, fear. Whoa. Fear itself, dude. Whoa.

Remember that line? Yeah. remember who said it, too, Dracula. Yeah. You have nothing to fear but my drag ass. He was trying to trick them. He was trying to trick them.

He was trying to be like, listen, don't worry about Dracula. You should be afraid of fear. And they were like, oh, do, okay. He's got a point. By the time they realized what was happening, they had two little pencils in their neck.

Top comment. Fear is scary and is what makes us afraid. It is the seedling of panic and sets terror into the body. It is the father of phobias and the mother of horror it is fear of phobia that's from Anna

yeah that's what it says wow Annabelle the doll no no that would be so scary I feel someone I fear being sick or hurt and no access

to health care wow welcome to America yeah that's a really long comment too someone says I bet Ted Cruz won't bring this up he got his ass set for our nation's biggest problem is fear poor white stupid i bet you on free health care poor white this is the biggest one bigger than started on the ocean because it's fear you're scared of being buried alive fear ghosts and slender man fear sometimes you're not going to like admitting it admitting it but that's sort of fear mixed with embarrassment oh wait we figured out

who said the quote somebody somebody got it in the comments the only Fear is fear itself, Marilyn Manson. That is she said it, yeah. He nailed it. The only thing to fear is fear itself. I think this is so true, because if there was no fear, there would be nothing to fear. Holy cow, we blew that one, right? Really, fear is the scariest, because all the stuff on the list is fear.

Fear is the devil's happiness, so yeah. Fear kind of makes me happy. You're a psycho. I'm kind of a freak with that. You should be in 21 Pilots. You're a Halloween crazy. I'm just a sucker for pain! Oh, maybe you are in 21.

It is kind of a 21 Pilots hat. It's funny that we make fun of this hat every week and you just keep wearing it. It's not a bad hat. Just wear a different hat when we record. Yeah, just change hats or something. It's a good hat. It's a good hat.

It's not comfortable to wear a hat under headphones, too. I do it all the time. It makes your head really sore. I don't know why you choose to do it. every time well you i mean Caleb only does it sometimes that's right you do it every single time

you do it all day every day man I just watch a scary movie and I'm having goosebumps that's a comment right there I'm having goosebumps number three being stranded in the open ocean whoa

I just swim away can you not swim yeah just swim to the land do you have no here's what's scary being stranded in the ocean and you're just a head. And you realize that your body has been taken

by Somali pirates and you're just a floating head in the ocean. That might be pretty scary. But just being strange, I mean, again, I'm an excellent swimmer. I place third place in like two or three swim competitions growing up. Yeah, I was number one in the world when I was like one year old, so. No, you weren't. Yeah, I was.

No. No. I swam around the world in 80 minutes. that's a Jackie Chan movie That's not a real thing No I well they based the movie off of me They did not They did

They did no I said we just heard a one year old guy An awesome one year old guy Swing around the world in 80 minutes We're gonna make a movie where Jackie Chan Swims around the world in 80 minutes And then my family was gonna sue him So they had to change it to going in a hot air balloon

Instead And 80 days No they didn't change that That's a little known misconception That's a mistype That's a misprint on the DVD Yeah because I mean if you think about it The movie's like it.

The movie's 80 minutes. Exactly. They boost. They boost. They boost. They boost. They boost. Boost on a true.

They based Owen Wilson off Cameron. They did. Cameron's look. You're thinking of Shanghai noon. No. Owen Wilson is in around the world in 80 days. Is he? Yeah.

I don't think so. Yeah. No, man. You're thinking of bottle rocket by West Anderson. You're thinking of midnight in Paris. Yeah. No. Yeah.

Oh, that's Jackie Chan and Steve Coogan, huh? No, Owen Wilson, Owen Wilson is it, in it, but he's Wilbur Wright. Oh. So he's not Owen Wilson, he's Wilbur Wright. You just said he's not, he's not, he's not, in Shanghai Noon. He's, uh, is he even in Shanghai, noon? I heard a rumor, I heard a rumor that, uh, that movie, that someone got Owen Wilson hooked on heroin on the set of that movie.

Around the world in 80 days? Yeah. I guess when you're a celebrity, like, you might as well just get addicted to heroin, you know? Right? You got to do it. Like, I get it. Allegedly. I just want to say allegedly so that Owen Wilson, a friend of the show does not sue us. He's a friend of the show. He's a friend of the show. He's not a friend of the show. He's a friend of the show. He's a friend of the show. He's a friend of the show. He's a friend of the show. For someone like me, he will throw up on any boat due to seasickness. I couldn't agree more. I'll just stick to the kiddie pool and the bath toys. Thank you very much. Yeah, I'll swim in my bathtub instead.

It's also, they said kitty pool, K-I-T-T-Y. Like the cat pool. Like a cat? Yeah, kitty-cat pool. Okay. I would probably make friends with the sharks and just have them take me out of them. If I would swim to the bottom of the ocean and I would find a portal that goes into my house. I would tell the sharks, I'm kind of like the shark of, like, humans.

so we kind of you know we might relate a little bit and they would understand me and they would take me home here's a comment guys if this happens to you watch the shallows first it's a story of a woman

gets stranded in a middle island oh fuck I'm stuck in the middle of the ocean does somebody have an iPod video with the shallow on it the shallows she's like she's not even stuck on an island that's the one with um fucking wait let me

is this the one I'm thinking of yeah with Blake lively she's not stuck on an island she's stuck on she like stuck is stuck like 50 feet from shore on like a buoy like this isn't even doesn't even apply just lean just lean towards the the ocean or the land well there's a shark just step on him jump on his head Mario style on the shark and then you get to bring a coin home what what kind of shark would you ride what would be well shark the shark from 47 meters down on caged I would probably do a hammerhead shark just so I could grab onto the

I would do the megaladon, actually. I'm changing my answer. Like a West Coast chopper. Yeah. Yeah, it hangs on to the hammerhead. Get your motor running. Shark out on the highway. Eating all the small fish.

And whatever comes on the way. Born to ride a shark. Mow, now, now. They should make wild hogs, but with sharks. My grandpa used to have like a little, like a plushy of Santa Claus and when you, and he was on a motorcycle and he had like a Harley Davidson jacket. And when you pressed his, if you press his hand, it would play that song and he would like shake. If you pressed his penis. So I used to hide it under the couch cushion.

So when he would sit down when he got home from work, he'd sit down and he would just be like, get your motor run. And he would go, God fucking damn it. The last comment on being stranded in the open ocean is, I would die. the smiley emoji Okay, freak I'm scared of that guy Yeah Let's get this guy off this website

Get him out there! I don't know I think my video driver just crashed Your video driver? What are you video driving? I don't know Are you playing Valerite right now? Both of my screens just shut off

So Turn them on He's playing Skater XL I'm not playing Skater XL I uh Thanks for the Thanks for the dramatic gong hit. Yeah.

And you did that. That was the mic stand. All right, anyway. The monitor turned off because you suffered a ghost curse on Halloween. Yeah. Dude, you're suffering. I wasn't playing Skater X-O, but I did look up Owen Wilson's heroin stuff. And it turns out Steve Coogan might have be the one who got him.

He might be the suspect. He might be, it says in this New York post article that Steve Coogan with whom he starred in several films with, according, blah, blah, blah. I went through it with Steve. That gets the heat off of Jackie. Wow. I would have thought of it was the fan, man. Now that's scary. Jackie Chan did not get,

oh, and Wilson hooked on heroin. It was allegedly Steve Coogan. Jackie Chan was addicted to heroin, and he's just like trying to do all the kung fu. His arms are just like going, just completely limp as he's trying to punch these guys. And they're all like flipping over as soon as he touches him. Yeah.

That'd be awesome. Look like Jar Jar J.J.R. Binks fighting. Number four. Or is... Hell. I can't even say it. Here's a comment. I don't believe...

This is the second week in a row we've talked about hell, I think. This is a comment, though. I don't believe in hell. If there is an afterlife in anything, there won't be any punishment, and people suffer more than on Earth. More likely to be a reincarnation are ghosts.

This sounds really stupid, but if ghosts exist, maybe the reason why no one has seen them is because it's the souls of humans and it's the ghosts of people in government that passed away, they threw Adolf Hitler into a cave and have some laws you cannot haunt someone's house. Do you guys ever think the afterlife might be like that?

Do you think they have laws? Do you guys think that it might be the souls of humans and the ghosts of people in government? They threw Adolf Hitler into a cave and have laws that you can't haunt someone's house? In hell, in hell they would have a million laws. That's true. Holy crap. What would hell be like? A million laws and no TV.

Oh my God. No TV for a week. No TV because of how many laws regulated it. That's right. That's right. And they would have, and you wouldn't be able to cross the street. And you can't watch Superstore. You can't ever cross the street to go to the store.

You can't watch Superstore at all. You can't watch Superstore, even the old episodes. No. Yeah. No. And they say, you say, do you guys have Mr. Show? And they're like, oh, yeah, yeah, we have Mr. Show. It's like one of the few shows we have.

And then you turn it on and it's with Bob and David. Yep. Turns out it's actually sister show, and it's the all-female reboot. No. Oh, my God. Yeah, and it's Elijah Schlesinger. Only in hell. That's like you start seeing advertisements.

Only on hell TV. Yeah. I want to go to hell. That's how they get you, dude. That's how they trick you. They have a bunch of exclusive TV shows down there. I would do, I would do fixer-upper to hell. Yeah.

I would put in like some nice wood floor. I would put in a... Is that... No, I'm thinking of... Is that Chip and Joanna? Chip and Joanne. Yeah, I would go Chip and Joanne on hell. Joanna.

It's not Joanna. Get her name right. It's Chip and Joanna. You didn't even know what the show is called. It's Chip and Dale. It's Chip and Dale. Chip and Dale and they're two chipmunks. Chip and Joanna Gaines.

No, wrong. That's their name. That's her formal name. When you know her and her husband well, they let you call her Joe. So Chip and Joe, I'm taking the... I'm taking them to hell. We're putting in granite countertops.

We're going to cover up. We're going to get some beautiful magnolia coffee cups in there. We're putting an in-ground fire pool. Oh, hell yeah. Because they have an above-ground one, and it's kind of tacky. Yeah. Yeah, the thing is you get a lot of bang for your buck in hell. Yep.

It's made out of stones. Brimstones. Whoa. That's right. That's right. Here's a sub list in the comments. What's going to have? happen if Satan rules the world.

One, the opposite of heaven is hell. I would hate that. Two, no peace and quiet, just noise and screams. Three. Sounds like my house already. Endless torture. Four, Satan will make you hungry and lets you feed human organs. Five, and I'm going to, this one has a period after every word, so I'm going to clap between every word on this one.

Okay. No more anything you like in your life, ever. Oh my God. I would seriously fucking hate that. Yeah. Satan's going to make the opposite of heaven into hell. That would disgust me. That would disgust me. Yeah, that would straight up scare the hell out of me.

Uh-huh. I would be disgusted by that. Satan is a Republican. Satan, I'm a house. I'm a house devil. Yeah. I'm a house demon. Senator. it's a bad word who would be afraid of that i would not be but still some people might be if

they get a spanking from their mother after they say it hell time with bill my god with hell mar hell mar hell mar yeah down here it's all republicans yeah so yeah my show pisses off a lot of people yeah yeah down in the god they gotta get bill mar on a halloween episode dressed up like We need to get, we need to take Bill Maher to hell as soon as possible. I hope they show Bill Maher in hell. Yeah. And I hope they serve beer too. He's going to be down there in the chaos of pandemonium, the city of hell, where there's riots going on constantly.

He's going to get down there and he's going to look in the camera and say, no rules. Whoa. Yeah. No rules. It's hell. yeah Satan rules I love hell

that's what he's going to say instead of new rule I love hell I'm in hell internal damnation forever my first guest tonight Mac Miller everybody Mac Miller come on it come on

yo I don't know what he sounds yeah what's up is me MacMeller. You gotta stop. You gotta stop saying MacMillers in hell.

If you think, there he is. This is exactly like Pittsburgh. I feel at home. If you think there is nothing scariest than hell, then you are not lucky person. Time is drawing near. Time is drawing near.

Time is drawing near? Tom is drawing near? Tom is drawing near? Tom is drawing near. The end is night. the end I don't know I feel like again much like the ocean

I would make friends Drowning Spending an eternity and beyond Through the fire and flames Not the song Is terrifying Yeah

I thought we moved on Basically guitar hero And expert Oh number five drowning Yeah It's kind of similar to the other To number three See again

I would make friends Because once you get down To the bottom of the ocean You'll meet SpongeBob I meet SpongeBob and Patrick and Pearl the Whale and Krusty Crabbs and Sandy that and Sandy that creature and Gary Dat Snail. Gary Dat Snail. I meet Squidward, Mr. Octopus, blue guy.

Uh-huh. Squidward, that guy, Mr. the crab. I might, I might, real shit, I might drill a hole in Mr. Krusty Crab and I might fuck it. Plankter. Hell, I'd hang out with the jumping dumpman on his plankton, his pirate chair. The flying dumpman? The flumping dumpman? The jumping, the jumping.

The fucking duck, the fucking duckling. The dad, the dazzling. The dazzling, the dazzy, the dazzy, the donkey. The flying monkey. The fucking, y'ar, y'ar, beware the flying monkey. Beware the dazzling jump man. Man, I'd be, I'd be terrified of the flapping dapping if I was down there. Beware the flapping dapping.

Beware You've come and take your de bluen I'd be hanging out in the wavy holes locker If I was down there I gotta be honest Day I did Listen Cross my heart and hope to fucking

Fall into Jerry Holes locker Why do you have a locker Was he going to school Stinky Dave's box Ar, gravy Jones I'll get you And I'll put you in his meat locker

I look out he'll put you in crazy Jones locker Crazy crazy Joe Come on down to Crazy Joe's locker We got we got Frimp Shrine Rice You know Davey Joel doesn't sound like such a bad guy Baby Joel Yeah

Come on down to Billy Joel's locker. It's your life. That's right. No, but I could drown easily and then come back to life. Yeah. You just spit the water out, you fucking idiot. Who made this stupid ass list?

Try not breathing water, dumbass. Again, if you can swim, not a problem. If you can dodge a wrench, you can swim. You can dodge a wrench, you can dog some water. Yeah, that's right. You can dodge. When I was a kid, when I was a kid, I thought I invented eternal breathing. And I, because I had a Capri Sun with the straw.

And I was like, oh my God, what if I just put air in the Capri Sun? And then I just breathe it in and out and in and out while I'm underwater. And so it went underwater and I just started doing it. And then I like got out and climbed onto the dock and I was like, jaw i was like about to pass out i told my brother i was like i think i invented forever breathing and he was like if you do that anymore you'll die it's heartbreaking dude here's a there's one of our early forays into science and the scientific method actually here's a crazy here's a crazy comment i once drowned

from odd guy 31 oh my god that's why he's so odd you can drown and not die yeah you can drown as long as I think I wonder what what is the line where they're like okay you're officially drowning now I'll come save you yeah you know like what is the it's three dunks it's three dunks yeah three dunks like up and down three times yeah and you're drowning it's if you turn blue like water because you can see the water through your skin oh that's that's why you turn blue when you're drowning yeah because you're your blood your water goes in water Here's a comment One of the last comments on this one

Drown is God Boat Break drown Get eat by fish Sop't of water I die Die die water Now tomorrow I think this guy was drowning

When he wrote the message Yeah Sounds like it Yeah there's only one place That somebody could save me right now Like scrolling past Calling 911 Or something while you're drowning

Going out the top tens And searching drowning Comment on it Number six is the unknown Ooh What would I mean I mean yeah

It's kind of Is that from Pokemon The unknown Pretty much everyone's unknown Wow If you don't know them So So

Here's a comment I just Let's try to figure out What this comment means Amanda Joy de Ritter Is the scariest thing forever The worst thing forever And the most painful thing forever

Amanda Joy Derritter is unknown forever and not real forever. We are saved by God from Amanda Joy DeRitter. All things forever and three pluses add bonus are complete forever. All things forever and three pluses add bonus are complete forever. All things forever and three pluses add bonus are complete forever. Now I googled that name and the top result is a free background report of someone with a different name.

And the second result is from Quizlady.com and it's a quiz called, What are you subconsciously afraid of? whoa who's the author let's see let me click on this quiz there's one comment here there's one comment here that says Amanda Joy DeRitter scares all things the highest number of times more than all things except Amanda Joy DeRitter forever

Should we take this what are you subconsciously afraid of quiz? Yeah dude let's let's do it Question one of ten Which of these activities do you dread the most Work meetings, family gatherings, weddings Weddings, giving a speech or first date Work meetings Work meetings

If you could travel back in time to any time period in your life which time period would you choose. Five to ten, 15 to 20, 21 to 26, 26 to 40. I wouldn't want to go back. The Civil War. 26 to 40. Do you regret anything you've done in your life?

Yes, I've made a lot of mistakes. I regret some things. I try not to regret anything. No, the past made me who I am today. I regret going... Yes, I have a lot of regrets. I regret going back to the Civil War and accidentally joining the wrong side.

Would you rather be rich or in poor health or healthy but poor? Why can't I be healthy and rich? Rich and in poor health, healthy but poor, why can't I be healthy and rich? Why can't I be healthy and rich? Yeah, it's a good question. Are you currently in a committed relationship? Yes, and it's great. No, and I'm not happy about it.

Yes, but it's shaky. No, and I'm okay with it. No, and I'm okay with it. Would you consider yourself to be more of an introvert or an extrovert? A little bit of both. Are you taking it at the same time, Patrick? Yeah. What is your favorite genre of music?

Indie slash alternative, R&B, country, folk, or pop? Intelligent dance. and country yeah so folk and pop then yeah let's choose folk what was your greatest fear as a child well i mean that's kind of school country and rap music what do you believe is the most important thing in life money family contentment love or career contentment yeah do you consider yourself to be a religious or spiritual person yes no or i'm not sure i'm not sure anymore after after this list Calculating our result. Calculating.

Mine says failure. You failed the quiz. I failed the test. You picked the wrong answers, dude. I failed the test. I thought it was going to say something about this weird name. No. No, where is that coming from?

I don't think we could unlock the secret. I thought it was like a cicada 3301 thing and we were going to get into the secret society. let's see let's search it with quotes yeah no it looks like it I don't know it's it came up on another paid website that says what is the scariest thing weird dude somebody on the somebody one of the fans figure this out for us yeah I know who Amanda Joy de Ritter is yeah and if she's single is she single mm-hmm hello I read your name on a list I was wondering if you're single I read your name name and it called you the scariest thing of all

time what's up with you Caleb Michael Derritter Hmm Dairdard there Ghosts are totally real I've seen one once Aspiration once

An Orb's energy Black clear green I should be yellow It happens to a hobby of mine And I'm not scared one bit If I saw one again they are Just earthbound spirits that are in limbo Lost after murder or suicide

And trying to communicate And everyone gets scared They're not scary They used to be like us But now they're on another plane that's true as hell getting a little philosophico yeah

yeah we should get a little let's get scarier um death not very scary yeah yeah you know it's not much to me you know number eight clowns now that's fucking yeah I can't sleep clowns

here's a comment here's a comment this particular clown is the reason I hate them I'm not afraid of them or at least anymore when I was a little freaked out me more than Satan but they do make me sweat a lot and I think I'm somewhat traumatized by Pennywise from Bon Jovi 17 Whoa

John Bon Jovi saw Pennywise the clown When he was 17 And he got so scared that he wrote the song Run Away because he wanted to run away from the clown He was thinking about running away from a clown That's a good point Once a clown sang me happy birthday and just now I have realized how scary they are.

If that clown would sing me happy birthday, I think I'm going to be terrified for the rest of my life. I do remember a clown when I was a kid, a clown at a circus handing me a caramel apple. That's terrifying. I don't know if there's anything scarier than that. Yeah. That's so scary.

You know? There's no way he was licensed to do that. Listen to this one. When I was five, I had a black Friday. I went to a circus. I loved clowns, but then the clown got my hand and looked at me. He grabbed me and then done some tricks. I was so scared that he even looked at me creepily.

I screamed Hat Day. I couldn't in its sleep. He had a Black Friday. Oh, my God. That is terrifying. What are the top ten scariest clowns ever? Number one, got to be Pantywise. Panty-wise.

Shakes, the clown. Black Leotachio Pagalibucci John Wayne the crazy John Wayne crazy Mr. Smile Yeah

Mr. Hans The Joker The freaking clown The freaky clown The freaky Joker The Joker and the Junker Yeah The Joker and his wife

The Junker is like the Joker But he's kind of covered in junk Yeah Bull crap all over him He's got rappers And cans Krusties clown

Go Go Go the clown Uh, bobo, bozo, no, no, oh, oh, bobo, bo bo, bo, bo. Cheech and chong are some pretty scary clowns. True. When they get, when they get too high. Get over here, I'm going to cheat your chong. Don't cheat, hey, man, don't cheat my chong. I'm going to cheat you with Chongson.

Don't cheat my chong. And then number 10, Cameron. That's not true. Number nine is lost in space. oh i do i thought you were skipping ahead on the list no lost in space would not be scary to me i just i'd meet an alien and i'd invent technology with them that's what i was born to do i meet like four goofy robots and i'd sit around watching movies with them i go to planet cybertron and i would pilot optimist prime sun if i got lost in space yeah i'd probably just eat some astronaut food

yeah i'd be frozen i'd be frozen mashed potatoes i'd be frozen mashed potatoes i'd be frozen potatoes and I would spit them out of my mouth to make myself fly back to Earth like I'm a rocket. Oh, true. I'd use it in a fire extinguisher and I'd propel myself directly into the sun. Yeah, but you'd use the fire extinguisher and you'd put out the sun by accident and you'd kill everyone. Yeah, just my fucking look. Yeah, and I come back with like a tiny black rock and they're like, what's that? It's the sun. Sorry. You'll, you use a fire extinguisher to propel yourself toward the sun and then you hit it and it like flips and it's just like it's been a cardboard cut out all along just floating in space yeah there's a guy there's like an old man

projectionist behind it yeah well guess i'm calling ah geez well well that's me then yeah that's there's my cue all right well i'm gonna head out boss ain't gonna be too happy about this one well wait wait it's your turn come take over yeah yeah Number 10, burning alive. Whatever, man. I would wear fireproof clothes in a whole suit. I would stop up and roll. I would pour water on myself.

There's like a thousand solutions to this one. It's an impossible to be scared by it. If I started burning alive, I would just die. So I'd be burning dead. That's brave. Uh-huh. Yeah. Would you kill yourself while you were burning alive

so that you wouldn't have to die from burning alive? Maybe. Also, I wonder how much time it takes when you're burning alive until you die for real. Like, hmm. Huh. Well, I know that

in stunt, when you're doing a stunt for a movie, you can only do a full body burn for 30 seconds before it starts to do damage to you. But that's like if you're wearing like an anti, a flammable suit or something.

I should ask that monk who burned alive. Yeah. Hey man. He's still burning. Yeah. He's still burning. Yeah. He's like, it's like the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

Like people just kind of check it out. Rage against the machine visits him once a year. Yeah. And they give him his royalties. That's why he did it. He wanted to be on the cover of a rage against the machine held. Yeah. Number 11 is Sender Man.

Now we're getting the really scary stuff. Oh my God. Ah! Oh no. Sender Man is scary. No, definitely scary. Not to me. Not to me.

A guy with no face. A man who you can't kiss? Scary. No lips. I'd hate to see his thing. I'll say that much. His thing has no head. It has no hole.

Here, wait. Do you guys see this comment from Jay's top ten list? It's kind of a script. I want to read it with you guys. Okay, let me find it. It's on the, I think, the second page of comments. Okay. From Jay's, so you be boy, I'll be Slender Man.

Who? Me. What a good day to go out in the woods. Hello. Crap! I'll shall kill you. That's a good, that's almost better than the scary stories we told. It's at a beginning, middle, and end.

Yeah. Exposition, he's going out in the woods. And it's got, like, kind of like a transitional between each of them, too. Exactly. It flows smoothly. This is the shortest story, the scariest story you can write in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22. It's the shortest story word stories that you can scare people with. Let's do, all right, six word, how about the six words scary stories.

All right, not just six words stories. This is how we'll close it out. Okay, six word scariest story. Yeah. Boo! ghost has an evil weird gun all right mine yeah um scary terrifying dracula warwolf and mummy godzilla ghost monster what are these things all having concerts everybody everybody just went to my scary concert i love that line weird unlimited home

no lunch, no recess. Whoa. Oh, my God. Mm-hmm. The freak from TV ate lunch. Help. I got scared of something. Squidward's suicide.

Real footage on TV. My dad just converted to Islam. They just elected new president, Carol Baskins. With Carol Baskins has one word. No. Kevin, Rudolph, let it, let it rock. Patrick doesn't know. Deleted.

My Reddit account just got banned. Ouch, I just stubbed my penis. Lil Wayne has passed away forever. There once was a graveyard, um, boo! Ah! They did the monster mash. Today. Chuckie.

no pizza bathrooms closed Chuckie versus Squidward Alien versus Predator A Great Movie I think we got it I think we nailed

the scariest stories Thanks for listening The next one won't be so scary For those with Timmy hearts Bye bye Get out of the bag Get out of the bag He has a ghost in his bag

A ghost went into Patrick's bag Mm-hmm. All right, goodbye. Bye. Boo!