Podcast About List - Ep. 112 - John travoltas Secret

Episode Date: August 19, 2020

i saw john travolta eating a poop sandwich on the set of grease www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist

You're listening to Israel's number one podcast. All right. Counts to the Monoliths. You're being a crap monster. We're recording. Woo! All right. Patrick is muted for this episode. I just turned his microphone off.

Okay. If you guys can hear a tiny murmuring in the background, that's Patrick. No, it's our pet mouse. That's our pet mouse we just bought. We bought him from a gay pride mouse store where they only, they sell mice. that are married. The mouse is trying to talk again. Shut up, mouse. What is that? Did he say? Did he say squeak-c-c-c-c-

Is that what he said? You're my property. You're off. I turned your volume all the way down. No. I'm going to unplug you. Stop. Don't touch this. Stop. I'm going to fight you again. Patrick is going to... I tickled him. All right. I'm turning Pat's volume back up a little bit.

Are you going to be good? I'll be fine. All right. You have a little bit of volume. I'll turn it up gradually over the episode if you act, if you act nice. This guy's so lazy. Can't even hold the microphone don't touch that dude don't take the fucking idiot

that thing costs $100,000 I'm gonna take it from camera this thing is like you will owe me all the money in your bank account you will rue this day which is like $20

that's true Patrick gets the Patreon check and he goes okay I have to go buy 3,000 subs from 711 right now and keep them in my fridge you don't even have 711 around here do you we do it it's just up there it's very far away you don't do it

no I go to the bodega the new Hampshire. The New Hampshire. So it's Burdega. Bourdager. Bourdager. Bourdager. I'm at a Bordager. Yeah, I'm going down to the Bodegger. Do they sell like live bait? No. Not at the, though, the one we've been going to? They don't sell live bait there. No, they don't. They sell DVDs. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, did you see their DVD selection?

It's awesome. It's just all just movies I've never heard of. Just the Transporter 10. Yeah. It's like one of them's called like the most wonderful time. It's called Julie Andrews in it. The coolest action. Yeah. The craziest thing ever The movie Must watch They had the Forrest Gump soundtrack there a week ago

Whoa Yes On DVD That's just the movie The CD The soundtrack to Forest Gump You know you'd plug it in Or you'd put it in the CD player

And play it And it's just the audio From the entire movie That'd be great It's the soundtrack Yeah We've been walking around We took a car tour

We have a car tour video Coming soon Yeah Once Patrick edits it. He didn't tour my car. Yeah, it's a tour of Caleb's car. You can see the inside of it. It's about 10 seconds long.

Yeah. I'm trying to sell my car. This is the outside. This is the inside. Should I tell the story of what happened or should we just wait till? I mean, no, that's just what happened on the other. Wait, what happened?

The thing? With the cones? The thing with the, oh, we got ice cream. Yeah, we got too much ice cream. You're going to have to subscribe to the premium. Yeah, you subscribe to the premium to find that shit. Hear the Cone's story. But it is like one of the only things we did, we really did today.

Not one of the, it is the only thing that it is all we did. Dude, yeah, no, like, I went to the diner. I've talked about, oh, we went to Red Arrow. Yeah. I've talked about how boring it was growing up here a lot. I can't imagine it, dude. It seems fucking awful. Yeah, no, like, I've talked about how boring it was growing up here,

and now that you've actually seen where everything happened. Yeah. Fucking nothing happened here. At least in North Carolina, we had, like, animals we could fight. Yeah, you could go to the beach, or the zoo or something. Yeah. Here it's just like,

I don't even fucking know. It's too far away to walk to anything. Let me tell you what. Here, you're in the zoo. Yeah. Yeah. Because they're buying animals. They've got animals everywhere.

Addicted to heroin. They live in the park. They live in a park and they're addicted to heroin. And they're scum. Yeah. Scum! We're going to get rid of all the poor people. We're making another video where we go around.

We're going to wake up social experiment. We're not waking them up. We're making them do the ice bucket challenge to raise awareness for, ALS. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's so funny.

Have you ever seen videos of people being Narcanned? Yeah. Have you seen the one where the guy gets up and he's like, you ruined my high and punches the guy that Narcanned him in the nuts? So good. Awesome. For some reason, everyone that gets Narcand gets mad. Because adrenaline.

Yeah. Yeah. You're injected with fucking, like, speed. I thought it was like smelling salts. It'd be funny if you get Narcanned and like immediately you wake up and you just try to fuck the person that Narcan do it because of the adrenaline. That's just the first thing that everyone does. He's getting a giant boner.

Yeah, everyone who gets... Yeah, hey man, thanks for the boner. And not even fucking helping me out with it. That's part of Narcan training is you have to... You have to cover your crotch and back away really quickly because they're going to try to suck you off. How about Narcan Sam? Okay.

Yeah. I don't remember what two can Sam's like. He's like British, right? He has a British voice and he has three nephews. He's a great uncle. All uncles are great. Wait a second. Uncle Sam?

Wow. Oh, my God. Multicolored. on the beak. Joseph's multi-colored coat. Have you seen the redesign of Tucan Sam? No. I think I did.

Is you a girl now? Cal art style? Yeah, let's talk about reboots again. No. They're rebooting cereal. No. Yeah. Just make a new Tucan cereal.

Yeah. You guys learned that about me, and now you're never going to... Are you any rebukes? That I don't like, that I'm annoyed by rebooting movies. It's just a funny thing to be annoyed by. Yeah, well, I don't know. Me, personally, I'm annoyed by it. No, that's just one.

One of the Twitter things to be mad about. I get mad about that, too. That's just a thing where if you're on a certain part of Twitter, you get mad about rebooting movies, about health care. About health care, and about kids who say the N-Word getting put in jail. Those are the three things you have to be mad about if you're on a specific set of subset of left Twitter. Women's stealing our jobs. Women's stealing all of our jobs.

I'm trying to go back to the GMC factory. They only hire women now. They turn it into the girls. cars factory man that's fucking right uh-huh yeah man at least we used to have fucking jupiter they took that from us too yeah man now women are going to college and jupiter oh my god it's insane fucking annoying dude it's so annoying girls can't go to jupiter they have to go to college to get more knowledge yeah because they need it girls boys are too smart that's why they go to jupiter go to jupiter to get more stupid we donate the knowledge to the girls go to the sun

oh let me donate some knowledge real quick Just saying that to a homeless guy I'm gonna donate you some knowledge This is the best change you'll ever get All right change your life You got space in that Watch zeitgeist You got space in that empty guitar case

For some knowledge Because I'm about to kick it to you player What was that band The head PE They're sick dude It stands for higher education planet earth Oh my boss Yeah there's like the video of them doing like a COVID live show

So there's no one in the There's no one in the audience and he's just going like make some fucking noise and it's just completely silent and he's just going like 9-11 was a fraud you have to go on the internet that's the only place that can teach you the truth and I do not eat pussy that's just facts

that's the best part of that video so cool we need to start a band soon we will start a band I got it I have my guitar can we start a band in that vein like a truth band a truth teller band the truth sayers we could be called the truth sayers movement the truth sayers or sooth tellers.

If we're going to be a band like that, we have to have an acronym. That's true, yeah. Yeah. But it has to get, it should be something like, like, if you see, it's an acronym that's a word,

but it's spelled wrong. Yeah, if it's, it's like, yeah, that's pretty good. That's a good one. But yeah, it should be something where, yeah, it spells out like big dick

if you do all the first letters. So, but they're called like, badass instruments. Bad ass. Giving, giving dudes ideas. Crazy. Crazy kids.

Change, changing kids. Changing, uh, changing, changing, uh, Changing Krypton. Changing. Yeah, exactly. You have to have

a comic book reference. Big dick. Changing Krypton. Changing Krypton. Clark Kent. Yeah. Oh, changing Kirk. Yeah.

Even dude's idea is Clark Kent. Yeah, there's an ampersand. It's and Clark Kent. Because Clark Kent, one of us is Clark Kent. That'd be a cool alias to take on. Yeah, MC Clark Kent. Yeah. But the C is a change symbol.

You, whoa. Oh, that's the C with the line. I've been thinking about becoming a professional. Yeah, making sense. M.C. Whoa. Oh my God. M.

M.C. Making sense. What if we're called? Yeah. Dude, that's M.C. M.C. I've told you guys about nonsense, right? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I think you've told them in the pot before. It's like this. I'm nonsense. I love him. What's, okay. MCMC is pretty good, I think. MCMC.

Making change, making sense. Well, yeah. How about POD? Puddle of Dudd. It's not a bad idea. Yeah, right? What about, um... Fuck.

Puddle of drub. Tenacious D. T. What about P. Stott? P. Stott could be good. What about G-Spot? G-spot? G-spot?

G-spot? G-spot? Gorilla. Oh, what if it spells out money? It's like mindfulness over... Newgrounds. Evil. Evil.

Yakuza. Yakuza. Yeah, dude. Yeah, pretty much It's always like It's always like something Yeah Yo, just straight off the top

Yakuza did 9-11 Everything links back to the Yakuza It's true man Yeah Start with poor harbor Yeah And if you come to my house I will not call you an Uber home

That's just facts That's just facts That's just facts I will not make you call And I close my eyes when I have sex I close my eyes and I count a 10 I wear a mask during sex I wear a paper bag over my head

Jim Carrey's face on my face Yeah that's we have to have like a basis Who wears like a paper bag with eye holes cut out And I put the gym So it's a Jim Carrey mask And then I put the mask Over it So that when you take the first one off

You're like oh that's funny I'm having sex with Jim Carrey Yeah DJ Grinch Ventura Oh my God Yeah, DJ Grinch Ventura. And then he takes the mask off and it's Travis Barker. Whoa. We should, oh my God, we should do a Travis Barker remix of the show.

He would remix the show. He would do an album with us, a split. Like a drum, like when he used to put like drums over lollipop by little Wayne. Yeah. Yeah. God, that was so sick. It was so cool. We got to get Scott Storch on board.

We got to get, someone's got a hop on this Scott Storch beat. Yeah. He's looking good, man. We're going to be the ones to do it. We're going to be the ones to hop on a Scott Storch beat. For the first person to do it in 10 years. I'm ready. I'm sure you could get a deal with Scott Storch.

I'm so fucking tired now. I don't know why. I was fine earlier today. I think it was the skating. You want to sit my bowl? Maybe. You want to sit my bully stick? I'll sip the bull.

I have more in there. I'll go get my own. Go get your own. Yeah. We can hold it down for a minute. Yeah, we got this. Don't try to take your mic with you. No.

What's Patrick? No! I think Patrick died. Nobody's telling a story that goes nowhere. Where is he? I was going to drink some of yours, and then I remembered that we were doing a pandemic. We're doing it. We're doing a pandemic.

I'm sleeping in your house. It's different. We're social distance from you. We spend two hours a day kissing. No. Yeah, we do. Yeah. I kiss Cameron more than you.

You're not social distance for me. We keep fighting. Yeah. That's true. We spent Five hours in a car With the windows rolled up Pat just think people are going to be mad

That we're in the same room Yeah We spent so much time planning this And we all got tested We got tested People are going to be mad It doesn't matter if we post the results That's a negative

People will be mad at us Yeah Let's get some hate for Patrick going No That's the one thing That's the one thing That'll just be bad for me Hate?

That's the one thing you can't handle it One thing I cannot handle is hate No I only love Love, love. Nice. Yo! MCMC, one thing I cannot handle is hate.

That's true. Yo, all the haters, you're nothing but a bully. All the haters out there, I hate hate. I wish we could play that track. Yeah, dude, I wish we could. Yeah. One of the best. Can we at least say, um...

We could say that it's... We could say, I'm on my grant shit. Yeah. Oh, yeah. There's that one, um... So we found a rap. We've just been going into our hometowns. All the white rappers that we grew up with.

Yeah, we've been talking about, like, white rappers from our hometown. I found a... We found one that's just about... I found a... It's on, like, Reverb Nation. Yeah. And it's about, um... It's a song about bullies.

Yeah. You're nothing but a bubba, bully. And then they have... Can we at least play the kids part? Uh... Where it's, where it's chopped. Probably not. Yeah, probably not.

Yeah. Somebody's gonna find this dude. And I already feel bad enough for them. I feel bad enough for them. I feel bad. I feel bad enough, like, laughing at the song, but it's just like... There's a part where it's, like, a 10-year-old kid, like, rapping, but they just, like, it's, like, he records, like, two words at a time, and then they stitch it together, so it's just, like the middle of every word, it just jumps to an other words. It's so sick.

It sounds like plus the rhymes, dude. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny that it's just a genre of rap. Yeah. Tech 9 and fastest rapper. Aal Wolf, Buster Rhymes, all these guys do their entire thing is like, I can wrap

50 syllables a minute. Yeah. It's like, dude, that's sick, man. Yeah, he's always said yabidabadoo. Yeah. God, that song's so good, though. It's like all of those. It's so funny how homophobic that song is, too.

Yeah. The one, the one with the five-year-old rapping. It's pretty sick, yeah. Yeah. Drop some words in there. Oh, he drops some hard Fs. Some hard Fs, yeah.

Strong Fs. Some strong. Some strong. Throwing and peppered into that one. Yep. Yeah. Oh, my God. It needed some sort of perspective.

Wait, he says he's going to send midgets to someone's house, too. Yeah, he's like, I'm going to send, I'm going to send midgets to your mommy's house. Yeah. It's awesome. It's great. But all those, like, fast rapping guys, they, all of their songs just sound, like, to my mom, that's what, like, all rap sounds like. Yeah, it's just like, she turns on, she'll turn on 50 cent, and she's like, is this Kanye West?

She just hears Tasmanian devil. Yeah. My mom thinks that every rapper that comes on the radio, she thinks it's Jarl Rule. Really? Yeah. Actually, my mom thought Mamba No. 5 was a Jarl rule song. Jarl. Yeah.

She was like, yeah. A little bit of mine. That's his voice. So sick. God damn. Jarl rule's got to drop a fucking Mambo No. 5 remix this year. Yeah.

Yeah. He adds one more woman. Yeah. It's so, Lou Bega's German. Mabo number five exists because, like, some German guy was like, I'm going to bring back swing music, but rapping. And it worked. It fucking worked.

It was so ridiculous. Just German, the German guys, German people are just like, it was such a weird. There's something that pushes them to do to go above them. Too terrible things. It's just like they're constantly terrible things. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah

Yeah, it's funny Like the two big German songs In the past like 20 years It's Mamba number 5 And Ike being gummy bear Yeah Remember that song? Oh, I'm a gummy bear

Yeah, I don't know Did you know that the gummy bear The 3D gummy bear Was actually He was real Accus of a song The John Travolta thing Yeah

You've talked about that You've talked about this like three times On the podcast Dude it's so fucking funny He spent all his money It was like money laundering There were like helicopter trips that were paid for with the gummy bear movies

like 3D budget. And it was supposed to be his whole family except for his kid that died. His kid died? Yeah, John Travolta's autistic son died. Yo. And there's conspiracies. My apologies to Mr. Travolta, man.

I had no idea, man. There's conspiracies that Scientology killed him, but I won't get into this. He's just in space. They just put him in space. He's having fun up there. Oh, his wife just died. John Devalta's wife died, too.

Really? She's in space, too. No, they just sent him to do. It's okay to joke about it. because they're not dead, they're in space. That's true. Yeah. It's true.

They're dancing in a circle with lizards or something. They're doing whatever Scientologists do. They're drinking out of cups. They're smoking a USB stick and listening to drinking out of cups. Drinking out of cups is what Scientologist heaven looks like. Yeah. I used to work with this guy. Dr. Dr.

Dr. Dr. Rondhubbard. I used to work with this guy doing, when I was did like glass shower door installation and his name was Rocco. And he was all... His life was so modern. It was most modern life. He's just like Italian dude from New York. Yeah.

Who would just always tell me these stories about... Well, one thing is he would also sing all the time. So, like, we'd be, like, going down the street, and he would just sing all the signs that we would drive by. He'd go, la-da-dee, la-da-do. McDonald's on Market Street. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. I love the hamburgers.

Ooh, ooh, ooh. And he would just, like, try to make me laugh. Yeah. And then he would also tell me... He would tell me stories, he'd be like, he'd be like, New York in the 70s was unbelievable. For example, I saw John. Trevolta on the set of Saturday Night Fever

getting a blowjob from a man I'm here to confirm to you and I never went to the media because a man's business is his own and you know I may not agree with that lifestyle but you know he's earned it he's one of the greatest actors ever

he's the best he's one of the fucking best Italians we got he's one of the fucking best if he wants to get his stu got sucked by another fucking man another fucking fairy On Saturday Night Fever On the set of his dancing movie Yay

More fucking power to him He's like, yeah I mean, you know You asked me I knew he's gay Second I saw his pants Someone like a little too tight You know

Oh he got A little too tight to be hiding A straight penis in those pants I'll say that much Hey look hey You wear those pants You wear those white pants You better

You better be taking him out For another man Yeah Dude he rocked though Yeah Well it's his name Rocko Yeah

I told you Uh huh Rocko I said it's in his name. Oh, yeah. He does rock. Yeah. He rock us.

You have to. You have to live up to your name. He would have to live up to your name. He was like a late life weed smoker. Oh yeah, he did it late. Yeah, he's one of those guys. We're like, one time we were like working on this shower door and we like chipped off like a little piece of it, which is like almost never happens because it's all tempered glass. Usually if a piece chips, the entire thing explodes.

So if you chip off a piece, you know there's enough like tension in the glass. Yeah, yeah. Then if someone like knocks it, it could explode. And I was like, he like chipped it and he was like, okay, Caleb, be very, very quiet. I accidentally got insanely high before I came to work. I'm about to freak out. We're not going to tell the lady, we're just going to put the shower on the fucking shower, or shower door on the shower.

And so just guarantee that lady's shower door just fucking exploded the first time she opened it. Oh my God, that's so awesome. He rocks it. Yeah, he was the fucking man. That's so funny. Just destroying somebody's shower because you do it. yeah god that's awesome he had big meaty hands he claimed one

time he got impaled by what by a piece of glass when he was working in New York in the 70s in the 80s he was like yeah we did the the glass for uh Rodney Dangerfields comedy club Dangerfields put in a huge glass panel

I'm bringing it down fucking 5th Avenue right this fucking knucklehead Mexican I'm working with drops his side giant charred goes right through my stomach and then he was like I still have the scar

and he showed me like it looked like he fucking got like a paper cut on his belly like there's no way a fucking giant piece of glass went all the way through him he survived it

because he was digesting the glass when I went in there well he just see yeah he does have superpowers I forget that's true but I yeah he does have superpowers if you're Italian

in New York in the 70s you had superpowers he's perfect Hey, trust me, I don't need superpowers. I'm Italian. They're real superheroes. The real superheroes. The real Italians are superheroes.

The real superheroes is John Gotti. May he fucking rest in peace. Cozinostra. I think the first time I met you, I just got out of seeing Gotti. Yeah, and I didn't remember meeting you at all. Yeah. I was just like, this guy's probably not ever. This guy's never going to talk to this guy again.

He just didn't say anything. I met Ben that same time. And Neil was like, oh, yeah, you got to meet Ben. And so I was like, okay, I'm meeting Ben and this other guy. No, Kieran was there, too. Oh, yeah, it was you and Kieran, yeah. Kieran, the really tall dude. Turns out I was right about one of you.

I miss Kieran. I got to see. I can see what he's up. I don't think I've ever seen him since. I don't know even know who he is. Actually, he came to Moyo one time, talked about his penis. He did a circumcision story. Yeah, that was funny.

Yeah, no, he's super funny. We have a list, yeah? Yeah, we have a list. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Top ten things that will blow you. Top ten things.

things that will blow your mind. Blow you. Top ten things. God, I can't get up with that fucking guy. The Italian guy just being... I saw Dr. Rolfo. Shocking, you're getting his fucking pecker fucking licked on a set of a movie.

He's getting paid overtime for this. And this is what they do. They're doing this all over the country. It's not just movie sets. They're doing this in McDonald's. People are getting paid overtime. And it was just between him fucking singing songs about...

Best buy and shit. Does him like, Circuit City. Circuit City. Yeah, so John Travolta's a homo. John Travolta is so gay. He rocks. John Travolta does rock. Top ten things that'll blow your mind by Pet Sounds.

You know that feeling of incredible amazement, which makes you stop and wonder? That's the description of the list. I know it. Number one, music, baby. Without music, life would be a mistake. Frederick Nietzsche. That's just, that's not even, that's just a comment. No, there's no like continuation, just Nisha commented that.

That's sick, dude. Oh, no, wait, no, that's a kid, yeah, that's pet sounds. Music blows my mind every time I listen to it, man. Yeah. There's an incredible elation you get. The fact that we can trap little guys that sing inside of an earbud. I know, it's impressive. The other guys can sing in your computer and they have one.

They can put spirits into an air pod now. It's impressive, dude. Yeah, they don't even have to use a ghost technology. They don't even need wires. They don't even need wires to shoot ghost slime from the little amputee stubs on the end of the AirPods. It flies into your computer and it haunts the music and brings it back to you. And you can get different musicians in your phone whenever you want.

You don't even have to download the musicians. Their AI consciousnesses have been uploaded and they're singing the song every time you listen to it. I can't wait until that actually happens. I can't wait until you go in there and meet Katie. Perry, and I dresser with my mind. I can't wait to crawl into my phone's lightning port and hang out with the gorillas and their cartoon world.

I would love to go to the plastic beach. Inside the, a vice video, inside the guerrillas cartoon world. We sent a journalist to go to the cartoon lighthouse and talk to the gorillas in their hometown. You won't believe how they laughed. We're going to smoke weed with gorillas today. right right well

I'm gonna smoke weed with a cartoon they sent Maddie Matheson to make the guerrillas a fucking I'm gonna make them a great steak sandwich

I'm gonna make a SpongeBob burrito I'm making a great steak sandwich with SpongeBob Squarepants today it's gonna be awesome I made Squidward

nachos you know Squidward in Canada we don't have nachos like this it's okay I have a grateful dead shirt on

What's he saying that before doing I don't know It's okay I have a grateful dead shirt on I don't know It's just I'm talking about Maddie Matt You're doing a scary version of Maddie You're doing a scary scary I'm Madison

And I'm gonna scare your kids Doing scary Matheson Yeah that's Maddie Scarison I'm gonna get you Oh I'm gonna get you Maddie Maschison Maddie Maskeson Maddy Maskson

I'm smoking Somebody stop me It's kind of the same It kind of is doing the mask Yeah I think about it, yeah Number two, nature will blow your mind Oh my God

Yeah I'm an animal lover I am animal lover And animals are nature That's why I love nature Nature is lovely You need to love nature We won't be alive

We need trees, grass brushes To help us breath That's from the wolf flower That's some true ass shit That is some We will be dead We will be not alive We will be duh

What? We will be the We will be the We will be the... Any other good comments on there, Pat? Pat's the only one close enough to the computer to read it. It's poor engineering by us.

Yeah. Seeing an eagle fly, hearing the ocean roar, feeling the crisp, cool air of autumn. Whoa, is that? Did you write that? That's a poem. Who is it from? What's it from? Nature poems?

Yeah. Two big rocks. Two giant birds. Two giant breasts. Flying like an eagle. Sinking. Soaring through the sky. The ocean was filled with...

The ocean was filled with... Ocean was filled with a beautiful fish. A fish called love. I'm looking at the lake. Yeah, I opened it with my mind. Okay. Yeah. You think someone just came into your apartment right now?

Yeah. Hello? Oh, okay. Who else would it be? You fucking idiot. I didn't know what she was doing. Two soaring birds flying like an eagle. They can't have sex until they're married.

They have... They have no idea what pro-choice means. Life begins a conception. That's my poem. Two little ants, so happy because I don't know who Donald Trump is. Yeah, that's right. Two ants who voted for Donald Trump, one giant shoe. Yeah.

Does you guys ever set an ant on fire? That's the scariest, six-story. Six-sentence story. The six-story sentence. You ever said an ant-on-fire? I went to the store and the library and I saw a movie and I played a video game and my brother was sick, and I played another video game. That's six stories in one sentence.

Did you guys ever set ants on fire? No. I tried to, but it didn't work. We didn't have a good enough magnifying glass. I just said I tried to. Oh, hey, come on. I tried to... You interrupted me to say that I didn't do it.

I tried to with magnifying glass. You're speaking over PSC right now, person of Cameron. And person of Caleb. Come on. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I was... Person of C-name.

I was like trying to With a magnifying glass When I was growing up And my grandma caught me And I thought she was gonna be mad And she was like Jesus Christ Why are you using a magnifying glass Here, just used my lighter

And I just started lighting ants on fire God damn It's pretty cool man I never did that I burnt a $10 bill one time I love to destroy life I burnt a $10 bill Because I wanted to see what happened

Money means nothing to this This joker-esque madman I was in the fourth grade And I stole $10 for my parents And I went in the basement And then you burned your parents $10? Yep

burned his parents to the ground i did yeah i burn yeah god damn dude that shit's scary it lit up money lights up really fast that's why they make it like that they do it on purpose so you can lose it easily and get it burned and it's actually one of the bigger conspiracies when the money burns it responds isn't money in the president's pocket yeah money is a money's made it a cotton right i wouldn't know who just went he did okay i couldn't tell it sorry i'm eating some delicious air out of my mouth. Yeah, you're eating hair. I mean...

Because in sixth grade, my science teacher did like a thing where he told us like, oh, like, paper can't be magnetic or something like that. And then he like somehow made like a dollar magnetic. Scary. And then he was like... Oh, then the next day he came in... Man, that guy had telecanicus.

The next day we came in, then he explained to us that money is made out of like a cloth paper mix and not just paper. Yeah, it has something. And then he was like, It's not just paper. Then why didn't you ask the questions? And it was supposed to be a lesson about how we're supposed to always ask questions when doing science.

Wow. But he just went off on like, just like, it just felt psycho. Wow! Yeah. It's a funny thing about being a teacher is you can just make up like anything. Yeah. I mean, like, you can just talk about whatever you want for an hour. It doesn't mean, you, you do spend 10 minutes working on the book.

And then you just be like, yeah, science reminds me and my wife. Did your science teacher ever set a big fire? on the, like, on the table. No. My science teacher, like, poured some, like, hand sanitizer and, like, mixed with something else on the table instead of a big fire on the table, and they would do that every year.

That's sick, dude. It's so cool. The cat's coming after you. Oh, dude, he's coming. Wow, this is... It's seriously a throwback to have the cats running around. He's me. He's talking.

Yeah. He wants to be hurt, dude. He wants, yeah, he wants to be pet. I will not pet him. Thank you, Kevin. gross little fucking. He keeps fucking putting his stinky shit on my face. Yeah, he's disgusting ass. He's his empty balls.

You got the grossest ass alive. Yeah, I got to wipe his butt, I think. I'm going to wipe your butt. Did he put in his cashew in your face? He doesn't, he doesn't have a cashew. His penis looks like a cashew. No. He doesn't taste like one pet? No. That's what he's... It definitely doesn't look like one. So that's why it's his nickname

for his penis to you. Yeah. What does it look like? Let me see it. I call his penis a cashew because it's as delicious as a It's very expensive per pound. Number three. Number three is life. Life sometimes blow my mind. Life be crazy. That's damn true.

Someone says, don't think about it then. Do it. Do life. I love to do life. Let's fucking go. I, of course, have discovered the answer to the age-old question, what is the meaning of life? But if I told you, you'd be as wise as I am, and I can't have that knowledge is power. Muhah-ha. That's from Brit girl. That's from fucking plankton That was a scary comment

That was terrifying Mwahaha ha ha ha I don't like that I added this item as I was surprised It was not here at number one already What is more amazing and mind-blowing than life That life That's so true I'm about that life

From blue dog girl Blue dog girl Is the dog blue or is the girl blue? Blue is a dog Blue Waffle Girl That's you All right You were the blue waffle girl

Okay now we're getting somewhere Blue Waffle girl. Yeah. Yeah. To me, it looked pretty... It kind of just looked like she took a shower. The blue waffle. You know what I mean?

Yeah. That's what I see me. Yeah, you know, it's just like, uh, it's accessorized. Yeah, Cameron saw it and he said, it looks like mine. It's true. It did, yeah. Cameron said that looks like my mouth. Yeah.

That's right. Uh-huh. Let's go. I think actually, that might have been the first vagina I ever saw. Me too. And I was like, that's terrifying. Like that. is so scary like

thank God they don't all look like that and then I saw one in porn and I was like I kind of all kind of look like that I kind of look a little weird someone convinced like a senator in like Baltimore to talk about it at like a meeting it was you it was you no you were the senator

and I was a senator and I talked to the president and you didn't need any convincing no no he said let me tell you about my favorite movie it's actually a picture called blue waffle I held up a graphic of it and I pointed to it on a slideshow I zoomed in more and more You should change our logo to that

We should change the podcast About list logo to the blue waffle Yeah, the blue waffle logo We should say change it to a picture of a literal blue waffle And say try to Google this image That's right I think somebody

Did that for Dodgeball at my high school I think they tried to name their team Blue Waffle That's funny Yeah Or trying to get one over on the teachers And naming my Dodgeball team porn hub They tried to name the dogball team porn hub

They tried to name the dog No, what this means. Team ass fuck. Yeah. They had like, you bitch. Yeah. They had a name that was kind of. Team that one video where the two girls drink poop out of a cup.

Yeah. Team collateral murder video from WikiLeaks. No, what this situation, I think it was somebody tried to name something like kind of like, like it was an acronym that spelled out. Oh, no, they weren't allowed to what they were going to wear shirts. And then if they like stood close enough together, it would just say. like gay or something and then they got in trouble for it. That's pretty funny. Yeah. It was pretty funny. And then

they were about to get... Especially because you have to get really close to two other guys to make it happen. So they were about to get in trouble for it and then like they brought it up to the assistant principal. The principal was walking down the hall. I don't remember what the

situation was. All I remember is the threat level on their hood was going up. Somebody snitched on a team that was named O.G. Mud bone and our assistant principal had to look up a picture of O.G. Mudbone in her office. Dude, he had that, he had the thing with him, dude. He had that, he know he had that thing. Can we pause for one second, something, pee? Yeah. Nice.

And we're back. And we're back. Weiner just got amped. Caleb weanered out. He's just emptied my weiner. He just tinkled out his thinking. I did what men do. I did what's natural. I did it like I do on the Discovery Channel. I went to Patrick's bathroom. I put a bunch of weiner stuff in the bathtub and I flushed it. No. Yeah, buddy. You didn't flush my bathtub? Why'd you put a flusher on it then? He didn't want me flushing it. You're not supposed to touch that. I'm gonna crap in your bathtub. Don't. I'm going to. Yeah, don't you know that flusher thing on the bathtub? It takes everything from the bathtub and puts it right into Patrick's trough. He does. That's how he loads his trough with oats. Have you ever peed in a trough? Yeah.

Yeah. Baseball games. Nice. I went to a like a knockoff. I think I have like once. I went to this like when I was a kid, my dad took us like a like a, like a, like a, like a, a, like a Speedway, like a knock-off NASCAR thing. Yeah. And... To a speedway gas station. You watch all the cars come in. He was like, well, this is NASCAR.

It's just the tracks, baby. This is where they do the pit stop. And now, realizing my dad was just there to, like, gamble on, like, one of the fucking crankheads it was driving. But there was no barrier between the people in the audience and the cars. And they were going insanely fast on, like, a dirt road. And also, it was completely allowed for you. you to walk onto the racetrack

in the middle of the race and to get to the middle part if you wanted to be there because that's cool too. So you could just cross the street? He was like, okay, all right boys, wait, wait, okay, run, run, run. And we just ran before we got destroyed

by a fucking... That would blow your mind more than fucking science. Oh man, that is science. That is science. It's frogger science. Number four is science, by the way. Patrick did that thing again where he says, talks about the thing

before we say it. You're so dumb, dude. I've got to figure out how to lean back in the chair and also scroll down. Don't use your foot on the keyboard? That's disgusting. That's so gross. I was going to eat my pizza off that later.

Oh, well, too bad. You can't... Disgust me, dude. Now you can't eat my pizza. Science blows my mind sometimes. So I fucking love science. Like when you move a water bottle around and you create a tornado?

Yeah. That's some cool as shit. If you're running, you throw a ball up in the air, it can land on you. Yeah. If you shoot your cousin with a gun, he dies. The centrifugal force

of the bullet will kill your cousin. Yeah. That's my experiment. My experiment is experimenting with my cousin. Is it Jack Kerouac who shot his wife in the head? No, that's William.

William. Yeah, William was Bill Burroughs. There's Bill Burroughs. Bill Burroughs. Hey. What's he doing? He's eating my fucking cable. Evil cat.

He's not evil. He's the nice one. Why was he trying to eat my fucking cable? Because he's bored. It's not my fault. It's evil to be bored. It's a sin. Bill Burroughs is good, day.

Idle hands belong to the devil's stuff. Bill Burroughs. I shot my fucking wife. Everyone is at lunch. They're naked. Look at all these fucking people. They're all fucking naked. Eh.

I hate it. We just watched a Bill Burr video. We should note. That's why our impressions are so choice right now. So good. So fucking choice. You watch the Bill Burr at Hampton Beach. Yeah.

Which is, again, kind of just what we did with your hometown. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. Except way worse camera work. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Whoops.

Oops. You probably should have just recorded... Oops. Pat Bill Burst style. Uh-huh. You would have walked around... Do you imagine if you did that Hampton Beach video? I would get my ass kicked if someone heard me talking about it.

You'd be like, yeah, it's a... I mean... Look at that. You see that wrapper for that candy bar? I used to eat that all the time. It's pretty weird, right? Yeah. Candy's weird.

Candy's weird. All right, I'm ready to go home. All right, yeah. I mean, there's not really much here. You guys want to go 40 minutes away to look at a building? Look at an ugly brick. Oh, yeah, sure. Let's go, Pat.

Yeah. You guys would love it. Do you guys want to see the bank where I deposited $1? You would love that. You would love that on the video. I wouldn't want to be there for that. You would. No.

You simply would. Dude, I'm not simple. You are simple. You look like simple Jack. No. No. Yeah. Nah.

That's the most offensive part of that movie. Oh, man. Yeah, it is. I agree. Yeah. That's the only offensive part. Yeah. I hate offensive movies, dude.

It piss me off. That should remake Tropic Thunder in cartoon. Yeah, with cartoon cats and dogs. Just a piss off, Pat. Right? It wouldn't piss me off. I'd actually like it. No, you wouldn't.

I would like it. No, you'd be like, um, so this is a thing. No, I would. Yeah, you'd put a picture of your cats together and you'd be like, um, so this is a thing. They're actually redoing, they're remaking Star Wars as a cartoon. I would like that Yeah No, you wouldn't

I would like it You wouldn't like it I would like it so much They're remaking SpongeBob As a cartoon No Ah come on Don't remake Spong

So this is a thing So now that's a thing Oh great Yeah Oh great You're gonna remake SpongeBob As a cartoon Come on now

No They would never They will never If they remake a real life SpongeBob Is a real life cartoon You will be Spongeb SpongeBob

Spongob Squared dick No. Have you ever seen that? Spongnob Square Nuts? Don't say that. Spongnot. That's awful. Wash your mouth. Go to the bathroom and wash your mouth out. You wash my mouth. Okay.

You wash my mouth out. How about that? How about that? You won't. I'm going to take you there. You won't. And I'm going to wash your mouth out with a bunch of Irish spring big guy. No, I have Dr. Bronner's. No, you don't. You're about to have Dr. Pepper in your mouth. Oh, they're watching your mouth out with Dr. Pepper.

Sign me up. There's a global, there's a shortage of Dr. Pepper right now. Global elites that control the world. Dr. Pepper is one of them. Dr. Pepper is one of them. Dr. Pepper got rid of Dr. Pepper family. Dr. Pepper Dynasty. Dr. Pepper got rid of. They just be the Pepper Steems, but they changed their name. Damn it, dude.

Pepperage Farms. Dr. Pepper? Oh, my God. Pepper spray. Dr. Pepper had to take Dr. Pepper's out. The red hot chili peppers. Not the R.C. Chilies. Um. Uh, pep.

My friend Pepper. The pet boys. My friend pepper. The pet boys. The Pepper boys are part of the Dr. Pepper family. Do we look like the Pepper Boys? We don't look like the pet boys. Do we?

Look them up. I looked up to pet boys. We look like two pet boys. Do you look like a tire? That's not true. No, it's not. But it is a little funny. It is very funny.

It was pretty good. Come on. Yeah, it was pretty good. Well, it's not bad. No, number five, Human's... Homan's... Yep, yep. I'm amazed looking at you right now.

That was actually on purpose to kind of punctuate the point that they're making here. I said Human. stupidity of course humang stupidity i once told my man my ethnicity swedish so i said i had a nordic background and he said oh where's nordia not in a sarcastic voice it is very sad where is nordia yeah nobody fucking cares about like obviously nobody cares of yeah you're gonna go up to someone say you're nordic right suck my if you're saying yeah go yeah go back to nordia yeah if you're not wearing armor you're not north yeah yep right where's your braided beard yeah yeah but then then the if you're so

Nordic Burn his touchdown. The American Swedish guys who are like descendant of Swedish and then they braid their beards

that shit's annoying Oh it's the worst dude Viking guys Viking guys who were like Viking guys are like yeah I love death metal and I'm a Viking and I weigh 86 pounds

Yeah Yeah So sick dude I look like Thor Yeah That's just some Slubby white guy Yeah

Kill yourself Yeah Check it out guys I just got this Silverware set Where the forks Look like Battleaxes

And the knives look like a Carvin figurehead Brother, check this out. It's a subreddit called Nature is Metal. I think you're going to like this. You're really going to like this. Yeah, this is going to blow your mind.

You're going to love this, and then it's just like, they just show like that. You know, Vikings would often have up to four 13-year-old wives. And I come from a long line about this. If you see a scrawny Viking guy like that, you just have to pull a trunch ball and you've got to throw them by their beard. Yeah. You got to swing around like Miss Truncheon. Yeah, swing around like Miss Trunchable by the beard braids.

And then just chuck them. Yeah, just chuck them into the ocean, dude. They'll find a slave crumbull. I don't think it's a Viking funeral. Yeah. But I shoot a flaming arrow at me. Yeah. And like, you are a flaming arrow.

Yeah. Hey-o. Owned. Hey. You're a red era? Yeah. No, I'm not. Yeah, I've been getting really into pillaging lately.

That's what they said. That's what those guys are like. My beans from the Red Arrow diner were delicious. It really was an honor to eat out of Sandler's beans. That's personal stats. Yeah. Yeah. He sends them.

Those are his beans. He sends his personal beans. There's a big warehouse behind the diner that's labeled Sandler's beans. Oh, hey. Look at your. Oh, there's a bean Oh, the beans are going in this store It's your beans

You got the beans in the store Adam Sandler's bean boutique I love the beans Oh, I have a beans over here And I give you my beans We gotta get them back here, dude Yeah We gotta get him back on the podcast

Yeah It's been a while He keeps calling me dude He's blowing up my shit He keeps beeping me Yeah. He keeps calling me. He keeps abusing his privileges of having me in his contact.

Exactly. I'm like, man, if you're going to call me this much, I'm going to lose your number. Listen, Sandman. I can't play... Sandy. I can't play pick-up basketball every day. I know. You're always dressed for it.

I know. Because you want to get better. You want to keep playing me so you can beat me eventually. Well, I'm going to tell you what. Yeah, not going to never going to happen. Yeah, try to play one game a year so I can still beat you. That's right. Try playing with a weighted vest on.

That's how I got so good. So dunkable. It's easy for me to dunk a basketball. I wore weighted sunglasses to make my vision better. I wear a weighted everything, dude. I can see the ball from a court away. Yeah. Yeah, man.

I have sex with a weighted condoms. Yeah, man. My penis grows stronger. Yeah, man. I've been wearing a weighted hat this whole time. So when I take my hat off, my hair goes straight up. Maybe I should try that. It looks cool as hell.

It looks like guile from street fighter. Maybe I should try a weighted head. Yeah. I mean, my hair grow back. Yeah. It could work. Waited hair Yeah

Waded hair It's not a bad idea It calms people down It does Have you guys used a weighted blanket No My younger sibling has one And I tried it one time

And I just felt like I couldn't breathe Yeah If you're claustrophic If you're extremely weak and brittle I can imagine it would hurt you It doesn't hurt It's just like I mean it's just like you're lying down

And like there's stuff stacked on you Yeah Like you wouldn't want to lie down With like a pile of books on you You know what I mean I go to bed every night With a microwave on my head Yeah

Dude I'm training I'm training my sleep. I'm just comfortable that way. Now, if you sleep with a weighted blanket sleep. You're extremely strong in your dreams. Yeah, no, you sleep with a weighted blanket. Then when you have a nightmare and you sit straight up, you're going to be sitting up, you're going to be able to sit up really fast.

You're an intruder. You're out of bed in a jiffy. Yeah. You're over the fucking candlestick with a weighted blanket. You could hit them with the weighted blanket. That's true. You put them on, put it on them. Then then they fall asleep because they're so comfortable.

If you put it into a ball, the weighted blanket, if it's heavy enough, if you would weigh a hundred pounds. If you, yeah, 100-pound weighted blanket, you throw that at someone's head, it'll snap their head clean off. Would you like to have, like, a million-pound weighted blanket? Yeah. It has to be something that I can at least lift off of me. How much does that be? Probably, like, five pounds.

I think a normal blanket is five pounds. Five-pound blanket? Yeah, I don't think so. Like a down-comforter? Uh, no. With, like, a duvet cover? Absolutely. No, not five pounds.

If you hold the whole thing? That's, like, insanely late. I would bet my life at five pounds. No. Google down comforter way. How much is it down comforter way? Just put your mic down for a second so you can type faster. No, he's going one-handed.

How much does a... How much is a pound of feathers? No, not a blanket, a down-comforter. A down-comforter. A blanket is not going to do anything. From five to 30 pounds. Damn. I'm a genius.

Well, that's perfect weighted blanket size. Oh, that's weighted blankets. Yeah. So a weighted blanket size. It's like five pounds. So how much does it down? How much does it down? Give me the fucking keyboard.

I just look it up on my phone, dude. I don't even. Search, how much does a down comfort or way? Way. Come on. Blanket weight. Is there a maximum limit? This is about weighted blankets, Patrick.

This is not what we're talking about. Selecting a weight for an adult's blanket. I'm getting an adult blanket. Cameron's blankie. Dude, I got a blankie at my house. 50 pound weighted blanket. How much does it? is a down comforter way. What does it say?

Well, queen and, queen are full-side. You're scrolling to find the correct thing you want. First one, dumbass. First one, dumbass. First one, nine pounds. Let me see it. A queen size. A blanket could never be nine pounds unless it was weighted. It says it's nine pounds. That's the box that it comes in. No, no, it's not. Yeah, it is. I'm right. They ship it with weights. They ship it with weights. You guys are heavily overestimating how much five pounds is. Yeah. Yeah. Uh-oh. Your, your phone is like, It's like 50 pounds A feather is zero pounds, okay?

No matter how many fucking feathers you put in a blanket, it's not going to weigh five pounds. It's going to be zero. You're stupid, and you're wrong, and I'm really right. The skin of the blanket might weigh half a pound. Wrong. Keep saying this if you have a full diaper. You bitch.

You kept saying it. What are you doing DreamWork's face? Because I'm happy. And I'm correct. And I'm a hero for being right. Number six is anime. That will never blow your mind. That would never blow my mind.

Anime is stupid. It's not stupid, but it won't play your mind. It's stupid, Cameron. I don't really care. Anime is stupid. I'm not a, I've watched anime. I'm not an anime fan. The only cool anime is that one where it's like Hiroshima.

Yeah. And it's all in Vietnam with the club penguin characters. Everyone's getting turned into dust and stuff and like their eyeballs are getting melted. Oh, have you seen? That shit's called Violence Jack. Ugh. No, it's not like the guy is named Violence Jack or something. Oh, God.

it's like a gory it's like they're one of the goriest animas i saw a video that was patrick searched goriest anime it was it might recommend it when you're kidding you search like goriest video game yeah yeah just because you're like yeah you see like a clip from rickio yeah i'm so fucking squeamish though i can't handle like any gore in movies anymore i've been i've wrapped back around i there was a movie i watched revenge it was called revenge that gave me that made me actually nauseous recently this is the first time in a while that gores made me nauseous There's a scene where a guy steps on a big piece of glass, and he has to reach inside his foot to pull the glass out.

Like, he has to put his fucking hand. I felt the tingle in my balls here and that. I think we might have unlocked something then. Yeah. Yeah. You might need a call rock. Oh, hold up. He said he felt the tingle in his fucking balls when he felt, heard about glass.

He wants to do to me what that glass did to me in 1978. Holy shit. On Fifth Avenue, headed the Dangerfields Club, by the way. Rodney Dangerfields Club. Rodney. We used to call him Rod back then. Hot Rodney. You should call him Rodney. Yeah. He didn't let anyone else call. We were calling Mr. Rodney. I saw some movie recently.

We'd have to call him Mr. Dangerfield, this highness. I actually didn't see a movie. We saw a clip from it. We called him Crazy David to throw people off the track. I actually didn't even see a movie. I just imagined something. I saw a clip from a movie where a guy pulls a... He, like, puts a rod in a guy's mouth and then just, like, pulls it until he, like, basically cuts most of... Like, basically cuts his head in half. It was like, it made me want to go to the bathroom.

The only, the thing, the fucking, the key behind the eye and saw, that's the worst thing for me. Yeah. Anything with the eyes. Eyes and the fingernails. For me, it's, it's legs. Oh, have you seen it? Is it hostile three where the guy gets up out of the chair and it cuts his Achilles? And he like, can't, he like falls over.

It's, it's cool. Broken leg stuff really fucks me up. That's like, like, knees going backwards and shit. Yeah, I can't handle that. Dude, did you see the Gordon Hayward injury a couple years ago? Yeah, I did. I watched that shit. live and I screamed like

fucking like home alone dude yeah I was like so upstairs Jana was like downstairs doing homework or some shit and I was like I'm gonna go upstairs watch the season opener and I watched it just went and she was like what happened did you fucking did something fall on your head and I was like some white guy on TV

hurt his leg real bad so sad yeah anime would never blow my mind number seven flight flight still kind of gay like being on a plane say it's kind of gay kind of gets me oh kind of gets you He's kind of gay He can't blows your mind

Yeah You know what are you pretending to be a bird Homo You're flying around like this Yeah Guy's sitting on a plane Flapping his arms Oh you like to fly

Mr. Pilot You fly to your boyfriend's house Okay Where you need to go to a guy's house Yeah You're flying to San Francisco Who you're talking to on the radio Hey who's that

Who's that waving those things around out there Oh he's doing with these flags Is he dancing out there at the end of the runway for you With those sparkle sticks Look at his three planes lined up in a row Looks like a parade on me Was that guy with glow sticks Is he gonna come on the plane?

Oh, what is he doing a rave out there? Anyway, I'm gonna go to the bathroom on the plane And get fucked by my boyfriend Oh, you got a co-pilot Oh, you got a guy who sits up here in the cockpit Oh, two guys up there Oh, hold up the cockpit What's that, there's a nickname for you who took us, sir?

Yeah Anyway, I'm flying to my husband's house. You guys are going to use these instruments? Me and my husband is celebrating 50 years. And we're flying to Acapulco right now. So thank you. Thank you so much for your service. Your gay, gay pilot.

Yeah. Flight doesn't blow my mind. Flight blows my mind still. I didn't go into a plane until I was 18 years old. There's a video game called The 30 Flights of Loving where the end credits just explains how flight works. And I had no idea how it worked until then. Yeah. And I'm from the first in flight.

Light State. Oh, thank you very much. North Carolina. The Wilbur Wright brothers. Yeah. By the way, they didn't call them the Wilbur Left Brothers, so let's keep that of mind. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? The Left Brothers. The Left Brothers invented the submarine. Yeah. Exactly.

The Left Brothers invented just hanging out with your friends on the ground and not flying anywhere. You guys look stupid up there. Yeah, we're drinking with girls. Oh, you're trying to go to the plane? My mind calculations. This paper plane. Well, fly. Man, shut up.

up you look stupid yeah yeah we just got a big table yeah we're making our own microbrews right how big of a pussy do you have to be to go all the haul your ass all the way to the beach just to fly a plane right you're not even you're not even smoking weed you're not there's no girls in bikinis you're not drinking bud lights and join yourself you didn't bring a grill you didn't bring a grill you didn't bring your fucking george form a grill no you can't even have a grill on a plane yeah nobody's doing poppers the um you're just flying the the the uh the The Left Brothers invented a plane, too, but it was, they invented the first spy drone to fly over the girls' bathrooms on the beach. The Left Brothers invented the plane hamburger.

Oh, fuck, we ran out of cheese. Number eight, success. We understand this. Yeah, it does. Definitely blows your mind. One of those things to them, man's being blown from being so famous. You wake up and you say, Lord, I am blessed. Yeah.

You're a thing out of your mouth. Trophies by Blake. Trofies by Blake is playing. Money for breakfast. Blake. Blake is like Drake, but like not a pedophile. Hotline drink. Hotline thing.

I know it, the hotline thing. I know I'm a hotline thing. I don't want to die today. Blake. It's hard being successful. It's slow me at the top. It's slow me at the top. Yeah.

People recognize me on the street all the time. They fucking and they point they point. They point to my fly and they say my fly's unzipped. And I said, how do they know the show so well? They know all the lines from the show. Exactly. Like, your flies unzipped. Yeah.

Sir, put on your mask. Hey, you fat freak, stop telling these stories. Yeah. They say that. They don't say that to me. People kind of put a red carpet when I go to the store. Yeah. Yeah.

They put down a red carpet. I'm going to put, I'm going to roll you up in a red carpet and smoke you. It's a target, and it's just the carpet that they put out in front of you. Yeah, they put down saran wrap in front of you because there's just like drool, goo, just coming out of you. That's what I like great, Target. Target makes you feel like a VIP, man. They have to follow behind you with a paint roller, just repainting the floors wherever you walk.

You are like pig pen. What should we do for dinner? For dinner? Yeah, the dumb's getting groceries. We're in the middle of a fucking episode, dude. We'll figure it out after the episode. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out.

Yeah, we got five minutes left, Pat. Okay, all right. Well, number nine movies. What movies don't blow your mind? What movie blew your mind? Movies don't blow my mind. Fight Club. Enter the void, that's like,

doing drugs, that's like doing drugs on acid. That's like doing fucking acid on top of the earth, dude. Fear and loathing in Las Vegas feels like you're on drugs the whole time you watch it. Fear my clothing in Las Vegas, dude. Yeah. We're my clothing in Las Vegas? Where my clothing in Las Vegas? Where am I

on the campaign trail? 72. What other blow your mind movies? Yeah, flight club. The prestige. The prestige. The prestige. Yeah. Incepticon. Incepticon. Yeah.

Step brother. Step brother. Transformers Dark of the Moon. Uh-huh. Transformer. Transdormer. Nope. No.

We're going to keep trying it. We're going to keep trying to find things. Come on. What's you got? Which one's you, dude? Me and M. did one. Dance formers. Dance formers.

Dance formation, Beyonce. Robots on the floor. Robots on the floor. Robots pondy floor. Danceformers, robots pond to floor. Bondi floor Decepticon It would be awesome to meet

the Jamaican guy named Decepticon Dude the batty bots The batty bots The batty bots And the Jamaica cons That's pretty good

Rasteptacons Rast The Rastobots Rastobots Rastobots The respectemons You got to respect them on Respect de mons

Respect them on The Rastobots Oh my God, the Autobots, the Bamba Clots There's so many It's so good, dude It's all the right syllables Yeah It's so funny that Michael Baye

Just made like the two Like there's like The two robots that were like The radio ones The ones that speak with the radio Yeah you made like You just made them do AVEE That was like one of my

It was like an early Standup joke that I would do It was just like I don't remember what the joke was anymore Just talking about The fact that he was just like Yeah man we just two, for some reason, two black robots.

Yeah. All the other ones were like, hello. And they're like, man, what's up? And it's Tom Kenny voicing them. What? Yeah. You didn't know that? Yeah, and they're like peeing on them and shit.

They're like, man, man, what's fucking? That's Tom Kenny? Yeah. Oh, my God. Bobbi Spongia. Yeah. Yeah, Tom Kenny voices the really egregious one. Yeah.

Egregious bot. Yeah, that's what he's called. His name is Grieges. Yeah. Gricious. What were their names, I wonder? I bet they have. It's Bebop and Rocksteady.

Is that true? No, it's like jazz and something else. Yeah, I bet it's jazz and like boombox. Jazz and Swisher. Yeah. Pee Money. Number 10. We just ended on 10.

We won't even look at the contenders. You really want to figure out dinner. Well, no, she's at the store right now. I don't want to be in the way. He's a baby. Ten is space. Space Bowl, you guys' mind? Portal 2, man

Yeah I guess Sometimes I do look up there Sometimes I look up at space And I'm thinking There's so many The stars You would not believe your eyes

Dude You wouldn't believe How many stars There are in the space chip Oh their names were Skids and Wheely Oh my God Skids and Wheely

Hey what's up Megan Fox Damn Megan That's literally just what they do They just like, it's like, why? For some reason, like, yeah, there's two, there's two black robots and what to fuck a human woman. Yeah. What the fuck were you thinking, Michael Bay? It's so funny, it's so funny how, like, good of, like, a character story, like, Michael, or Megan Fox's character had, like, a backstory, Megan Fox's character has in that movie.

And then it's just, while she's explaining, like, yeah, I learned how to do cars on my own. And then the whole movie is just, like, every shot is just Shia LeBuff being like, whoa. I'm looking at her boobs. Her boobs, man! Whoa! You got big old boobs! No, I'm trying to figure out what her boobs are. No, listen, man, if you take...

Dude, Chiala Buff is so... He's so good in those movies. He's so fucking funny. He's so funny. He's one of the best actors. I love those movies. The guy's so much swag. Yeah. Now, seriously, Mom? I'm not having sex with her right now, okay? You just need to back up out of my space. He just does that a hundred times every movie.

That's like the period after Viva Labam where every mom and every movie was just April Margera. Yeah. They all just pretended to be April. Uh-huh.

Like, there was seriously, like every mom. 2007, like 2006 to 2008. They're just pretending to be April. That was the April Margera mom period. Exactly, yeah. Because it was like, oh, we found the perfect mom. Yeah.

Yeah. Seriously. That's like the best mom archetypes. She's so good. Yeah. I did a jackass one rewatch recently. Yeah. Couldn't even get through it.

At one point. When Steveo does the snot on the wasabi snooter? And he puts his snot and eats the vomit sushi. Yeah. I just turn it off, dude. Jackass one's the best one. It's definitely the best one, yeah. Because that's when they were on the most painkillers.

Oh, yeah. Because they were so young. Yeah, the alligator tightrope is one of the funniest I've ever seen. The alligator in April's house were, we're going to put a, we're going to put a fucking alligator in april's house is that real is that real phil so fucking sick the best actually the best part is when the fireworks in the car no not even that one the best part of that one is when phil's on the toilet and oh bam just

punches the shit out of him but just punching the shit out of he's like you're losing your mind it's so funny kids losing it's so fucking funny yeah dude i beat up my dad so much as a kid because of that? I bet. Oh, my dad would not fly back either. I could do, I could go, let's go to my parents' house right now. Let's go beat up my dad. My dad would throw me out the window if I did that.

Let's film a video of me beating up my dad. Dude, I mean, you cross a serious line when you touch, when you put hands on your dad. Yeah. I can never be uncrised. No. No. Once, once, once kids. Because I knew kids growing up that would be, they were like, yeah, got to fight with

my dad the other day. And I was like, oh, yeah, doesn't it suck? I always yell at him about chores or whatever. And he's like, no, man, I broke his nose. Right. It's like, what the fuck, dude? I never beat up my dad. I never beat up my dad like that.

But I was like, when he wasn't expecting it, I would just go and do kidney shots. Like, while he's trying to cook. Because I was like, Dad, Ben Margarit did it. It's me as a little kid just punching my dad's kidney. This is Stevo and I'm going to beat my dad. Yeah, man, this is Steve. I'm going to take his shit on my dad. I'm going to shit on my dad's face.

Yeah, once you, once you like get your dad while he's cooking, you kind of have power. over your dad for the rest of your life. Is there a Steveo senior? He's got to be dead. Steveo's dad? Yeah. I don't know. Let's find out. Let's find Steveo's dad. Let's end the episode. I'm gonna get to the bottom of that. All right. Okay. Bye guys. Subscribe to the Patreon. Subscribe to the Patreon. See you, baby. Bye.