Podcast About List - Ep. 116 - The Mailbag Episode

Episode Date: September 23, 2020

we received all your letters and emails and today we are answering your questions. sub to www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist

You're listening to Israel's number one podcast. Podcasts to the ball list. You're really crap monster. Wow. Yes, you guys have never, you've never tried jacking off during one of these Zoom episodes? No, no. There's no way you could. No.

It's just we'd find out pretty easy. How would you find that out? How would you know? You don't know what my coming in fucking jacket. Just a fountain of white liquid Just shooting up for one second On the video I spilled my milk on the ceiling

A bug just splattered upwards On my camera I crushed a bug up by the end A big white bug just flew into my mouth Mmm I might have to Oh man Imagine if this bug was covered in chocolate

I'm gonna take another bite of this bug If you give me 10 minutes Right Yeah, no, for the rest of the episode. I'm trying to catch the bug. It's really fast. The rest of the episode, I have to move my hand around really fast. I'm trying to catch the bug.

Oh, he's sweating. I almost caught him. Oh, man. Was that? And I got the bug juice. Was catching that bug as good as it was for you guys as it was through me? I know somebody who I used to be homeschooled with one time while we were being homeschooled class.

Jacked off. on my couch with a blanket over him. That's disgusting. Yeah, he's pretty gross. Yeah, did you call him out on it? Yeah, dude, I ripped the blanket off. It's crazy how comfortable kids are with each other.

Especially homeschool kids, dude. Yeah, no, kids used to just, like, kids used to just be like, okay, I'm going to go jack off in your guest room now. Oh my God, the amount of times where I was like, hey, man, I'm going to go to your bathroom and I'm going to jack off. I was never, I was never a kid who would jack off at someone else's home. I feel like that would be disrespectful. I, that wasn't, I didn't make that choice.

You know what I mean? Like, I wasn't like, oh yeah, I'm going to be this kid. No, but I wasn't that kid, though. I was so horny, no, I would, like, fuck like a, like a crack in a door when I was a kid. I tried everything. You would fuck a cracker. You would fuck a cracker. Yeah, I would fuck one of the little holes.

The hole, yeah. You have the room. You have the room on your, your. thing, your P-Man to fuck a cracker. Yeah, that's something I have, I've been, I've been upset, I can't stop thinking about calling a penis a P-Man. You're like, oh, my P-Man hurts so bad today. Oh, you guys are gross talking about piss and where it comes from.

Where did that come from? I don't want to, what, P-A-P-Man? No, Cameron and I were talking. It was, someone said something, I forgot who said something about C-Man, and I said, oh, yeah, C-Man comes out my P-Man. Yeah, yeah, we were making fun of Seamus. Yeah, Seamus, you fucking moron. Seamus, we're going to attack you.

Yeah, hey man, do you want to go sit in the bathtub and touch each other's P-Man? Yes. It's like the Cheetah men, but P-Man. P-man is so funny. Dude, P-man's so, it's so good. It's like perfect. Yeah, like, you know, like the, I got an idea. It's like a chess, like the chessmen cookies, but it's the P-Man cookies.

Yeah. Oh, Caleb's Jack. No. No, don't go out. Don't leave the frame. Don't leave the frame of the Zoom car. Stay in frame. Keep laughing.

Keep your mouth open. No. Don't cover your eyes. Don't cover your eyes. Look in the camera. No. Yeah. Patrick is so scared of Caleb jacking off.

I'm not kidding. Right now, my penis might be the smallest it's ever been in my entire life. Oh, my God. Dude, it got so cold so quick. looking at it right now, dude, I mean, it looks, it looks like a fucking clit. Yeah, my, I looked exactly like a clit right. I looked down at my thingy in the shower and it was, it just, also I just smelled it, smells like Olive Garden. My dick smells like breadsticks right now. It does, dude. It's for fucking, all those breadsticks. It smells like rosemary and garlic.

Yeah, I'm looking kind of red today. I think I'm, I think I'm on the Caleb tip. Yeah, you will be on my tip soon. Yeah, I was, I was, uh, it's so cold, Lily, I was looking down at my P-Man in the shower. It only reached halfway down the drain, dude. Wow. Come on, dude, you don't lie. No, Cameron, you don't dangle your dick down the drain to get a snarl of hair out of the drain. You're lying. You're lying on the drain.

The Peehole bites the, the hair, like a claw and pulls it back up. Disgusting. It's great because I have a snake-shaped penis. Yeah, that's why. I call it a P-Man, because it's sentient. It's got little hands on the end. It's more like a guy than it is a body part. I would love to have a little penis come out of the tip of my penis.

Laying down, laying down with your arms, like, laying down in jumping jack form while your penis is in the drain. Just spread eagle. I was going to say spread eagle, but I felt like jumping jack painted a better picture. Lying on your back outside the tub and your dick draped over and going down the drain. there's a lot of dick talk but i realized recently that i every single time i'm on a plane i have a boner the entire flight and i can't get rid of it really yeah i can't get rid of it yeah maybe it's because you're scared i've had that maybe maybe when i'm terrified i get a i get a huge fucking rock hard stick yeah yeah that might be it that's i feel like that in

doesn't that happen in movies don't people say they get boners when they're scared in movies yeah there's a whole kenny versus spennie episode Where they test that? Yeah. In my brain, Kenny and Spinney is Mythbusters. No, basically. Yeah. Kenny versus Spenny was like they had a whole episode, like whoever gets the first boner

loses. Yeah. I would win. If it was us three, I would win. Yeah. I feel like we could just do that show. Yeah. Just a bonner episode.

Just the bono episode. And every week. And about a game show? Who gets a boner first? And you get random people, women and. No, it's got to be last. It's got to be Latin-American. It's better if it's last because then people will try to give each other boners.

Who gets the boner last wins? Yeah, because then you have to try and suck the other guy's dick to give him a boner so you can win. I misspoke, yeah. Yeah, it'll be one of those. But no, that's the thing. There's no sexual contact and there's nothing, you know, they don't have to watch porn or anything. They say, I'm going to suck your dick. They just have to sit.

No, you can't even talk. You just have to sit and you just wait it out. Because at some point, you're going to get a boner sitting there. Everybody's got a boner where you're bad. and like, why, what am I'm at a funeral? You think that it stops in middle school, but it doesn't. No, dude. No, not for me, man.

Also, every time I'm in like a job where I have like a training session. Every time I'm in a job interview, I get rock art. I stand up and I point out and I say, there's the legend. When I was in, when I worked in IT, every training session, I got a boner. Every time I'm in a job interview and the bus sits down on my lap, I get a huge bonner. Oh, I hate that. I hate that. I hate when I hit a boner when he's blinding on me. Oh, my God.

It's so embarrassing. At the Cheetah Club. Yeah. Yeah. During the interview. Oh, he's listening to Miss Pretty Pussy by Ply's and he's grinding on me. Yeah. I hate that.

Yeah. And then he turns around and he puts on x-ray specs and he looks down on my crotch and he goes, not good. And he dismisses me. Not good enough. Yeah. Could be better. Sorry, but we need to make sure that if a customer grinds on you, you're prepared to not get a boner.

And it seems you failed the test. It's a Chipotle. And now for the boner test. Seems like you passed the drug test. The background checks all good. Now I'm going to see if I can give you a boner. I'm just going to flicking this. There's just a little thing I like to do with new hires.

Yeah, contact those boners. Does it get to know you game? I'll take a... I'm trying to give you a bono with my mind. I'll take a steak burrito and also I imagine a huge pussy tiny butthole two huge boobs girls mouth biggest boobs of all time

biggest two of the biggest balloon boobs you've ever seen two giant planet Earth's hanging off of a stick woman Can you put can you put Can you put two huge Pam Anderson inflatable tits on my burrito Can you put a burrito? What's that in your pants? Can you wrap a boob and tinfoil? For me?

Can you wrap up a boob and tinfoil and as a combo into tinfoil and heat it up and covered it nacho cheese and then give it to me there we go you lost and you're fired. Can I get a fuckable cassidia? Yeah, can I get a thing can I get a cassidia with a hole in the middle? Just a hole.

Yeah. Size doesn't matter. Any kind of hole. You can do it with a hole. Hey, John, do you want anything? You want anything, John? Two holes actually. Honestly, you know, it's Yeah, what's the bathroom code? 8-0-8-5 I feel like KCDia of all the foods

that you put on your dick would feel pretty nice KCidi We're nasty today Fresh off the fucking stove Fresh off the gun city We're gross man

I thought you were talking about us I thought you're talking about us being nasty I didn't know you were talking about Katsidiya's still Why are we nasty Are you guys I just took a sip of coffee Are you guys naughty today?

Are we naughty and horned? Are we naughty and horned? Oh, Christ. What's wrong with me? I'm having dirty thoughts. It's because we know we're going to see each other in a few weeks. Would it have to be a seafood case ofia? It's building up the sexual tension.

It's starting to charge up. I'd like to see food and then fuck it. Yeah, I'm on the F food diet. I F food and then I eat it. That's what that new octopus documentary was about. A guy saw a calla, he got a thing of Kalamari, Olive Garden. He got too horny and he'd go fuck an octopus. Calamari's a squid.

So it's kind of, that's kind of, that's a octopus. kind of doesn't work. If you sew six Kalamaris together, that's a pretty, that's a pretty good pussy. You so six of anything together. That's true. Yeah, that's a really good point. As you put it in the right shape, it's fine. I would say worst, the worst thing that feels like it could be a fleshlight, but would not be a good one is a slinky.

Yeah. What about a, what about a bucket of ice water? A bucket of ice water, well, that doesn't, I guess there's a hole in the top. And it's filled with wetness. There's a hole in water. That's true. I guess I could fuck, I could just kind of fuck a pond, I feel like. Yeah.

If I got like a, if I got like a, uh, a, I know, I'd have to be, it'd have to be a bog for me. Well, a bog will be thicker for sure. Yeah. Yeah. A bog is going to have some heft to it. There's going to, you're going to feel some resistance. How about a frozen lake? What about a scobie?

Yeah, like an ice fisher's hole. Yeah. Like a scoby from kombucha. Soured dose starter. Yeah. I feel like that. That, that might be okay. That might be.

We might be on to something there. I think that's what sourdough starter is. I think it's like a guy fucked flour. You have to start it up. It's alive because you come in it. Yeah, you gave it life. You gave it, yeah. You need that to eat the, you need something in there for the yeast meat.

Something has to eat your disgusting cum. Scientists in a lab being like we're trying to generate light. We're trying to create life in a lab and they're just coming on to various chemicals. No, they accidentally came all over the lab. That's how Dr. Frankenstein. brought the monster to life as he just came in him and it jumped started him it'd be kind of sexy to watch sourdose starter eat your comb up you know be kind of we're getting too nasty now we're getting too nasty with it isn't this the mailbag episode why let's start over why the fuck are we doing this let's start the whole episode over right now

podcast over all right hi guys welcome this is the first episode of a new podcast where we read about lists on line. This is a podcast called Guys We Fucked. This is a podcast Sourdough starters that air come. This is called the nasty little on Market Street. It's like, uh, the say, it's like guys we folks, but it's just things we fucked.

Uh, bagel. Yeah, that is, that is the male equivalent of that show. Yeah, exactly. The male equivalent of that show is things we fucked in half of the episodes. Stuff we fucked. He cushions, a hole in the, in the memory phone.

The guy, the guy just, like, they start the episode, it's like, yeah, so I fucked a pile of dirt again, third time, this week. You know what? When you get, when your dick touches loam, it's a whole new experience. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I was trying to, I was trying to, you know, wean myself off of fucking things, but I saw this amazing tree stump when I was walking down the street and I just couldn't help myself. Men are disgusting, dude. Women on the other hand, they only fuck vegetables.

Yeah, that's true. as God intended. Vegetables and animals? Yeah. Well, vegetables are the most valid. That's true. Okay, okay. Was a scobie an animal?

Scobie do. He's an animal. Well, I mean, a scobie is technically living. He's not an animal because he can talk. He's a human technically. Is it Scobie living? I don't think it's living. Symbiotic culture of bacteria and yeast.

Things only live if they have eyes. The bacteria. is alive. Well, we count life in space is, like, bacteria in shit. I don't. Would you, look up a, look up a scobie right now. Can I look up scobie bikini? Scooby.

Scobie bikini. Oh, there's a haunted, there's a haunted pond in New Hampshire called Scobie Pond. Scobie looks exactly like a white woman's vagina. Like, exactly, now that I look at it. I mean, it looks like four pieces of ham stacked together. And, like, sitting in applesauce. Yeah, with question is, would you fuck it? Yeah, dude, that looks really good.

That looks like, real, that looks like it would, I don't know why I haven't done that before, you know? I'm sure, I'm sure there'd be health benefits. It's got probiotics in it. To fucking it? Yeah, the health benefits is, you get to come and something feels good. Hey, you can't say that about pussy. That's right. There ain't no probiotics and pussy.

Pussy gives me headaches. Yeah. It's like Splenda. That's why you got to fuck Scobie. Oh my God, this kind of looks like there's come on it. Here, wait, let me send you guys one. This one has a hole in it already. This one's pre-hold.

Yeah, okay. You don't even have to be, you don't even have to go down to the kitchen when your parents are asleep and put the hole in it. This one's pre. Would you, would you get a disease from fucking Scobie, do you think? Just as, I mean, just a normalist. No, you'd probably just get a cool, uh...

You probably would. That's probably like how, Your gut health would improve. Well, it's like, you know that Ford Champos where it's like the guy's like, I dropped a, I was cooking chicken without my pants on it. I dropped a chicken breast and it hit my penis

and now my penis is completely red and inflamed. And everyone's like, what are you talking about? Post a picture of the chicken. And you post a picture of the chicken. It just has a big pussy-shaped hole in it. Yeah, I think that's what happened with this one I just sent you. It kind of looks like a, like a pancake.

It's like a pancake designed for fucking. It's like, you know how a flesh, is supposed to look like a flashlight so it's conspicuous. This is supposed to look like a pancake but then it's secretly for you to fuck

and come inside. Yeah, so if your wife sees a plate full of... Yeah, why do you have a plate with a pancake on the side of your bed? You're like, oh, so I just worried that I might get hungry

in the middle of the night. Yeah, I love breakfast in bed. Yeah, breakfast in bed, exactly. Meanwhile, you're, you know, cut to 3 a.m., you're fucking screaming Scobie at the top of your lungs. Yeah, fucking my fucking my wife an accident,

Alisa and Scobie. Scooby. Oh, no. There's a, there's a different type of, well, that's a different type of kombucha. It's called June. So if you're looking for a, if you're looking for a name, you can say.

Shut up. Shut up, you fucking nerd. Just shut up. Fuck you. No. Shut up. You shut up. That would be embarrassing if you said,

I mean, really just, if you, you know, if you said like, uh, toilet paper roll while you're a fucking your wife, you know? She's like, what? You're like, I don't, I'm just doing a prank on you. Wet, wet, wet, toilet paper roll.

Oh, fuck. I mean, I mean, Barbara. Yeah. Yeah. Which is also not your name. Oh, fuck. I forgot. That's what I named the wet toilet paper roll that I go to the bathroom and fuck all the time.

Oh, whoops. Yeah. My wife's the top of the shampoo bottle. Oh, God. Yeah, my wife's Sanberto. V-O-5. Yeah Yeah

All right So we got a mailbag for you It's a mailbag You say No Cameron No more No more stuff we fucked No

We're not listening to stuff We fucked anymore You're listening Stuff we fucked Comes out next week It's just going to be me And two guys That I met at the bus

Yeah Just talking about Mostly stuff on the bus Yeah Bus driver The whole The whole The hole in the seatbelt latch

The little square hole Ladies purse Gatorade There's no disgust it either Just listing things It's like how long we're on that bus Dude this is a two and a half hour episode Holy shit

How did they get two and they're not even making any more episodes after this They said everything Each other It's every part of the bus God damn All right. All right.

So we got some letters. Yeah, so we got some, we got letter everyone. You guys sent them in thousands. We asked for them last week. And we only picked the best ones. We picked the cream of the crop. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Now, cream on the crop. Now, that's something that we could. That's what, that's fucking that's fucking. That's something I fucked. How about cream of the crap? Whoa. Yeah. Is that a good idea?

That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. No. To fuck a crap? To fuck a crap? is sublime. Bhagavad Gita.

Yeah. All right. Who wants to read one first? I'll go first if you guys know one. Yeah, go ahead. Okay. This is a short one. It's to Patrick.

Oh. Yeah. And it's from me. And really quick, it's, Patrick, will you marry me? Mm-mm. Look, I looked up common law marriage in New Hampshire and legally. No, no, not common law. Legally, we can't get married.

Why is that? Interesting. Gay marriage is still not legal in New Hampshire. It was, no, it was the Supreme Court. They legalized it pretty quick after it got legal. Well, great news. I live in New York City, so it's a really short drive. You're coming in two weeks anyway.

I just got diagnosed with rest. Not me and Patrick already got married. Yeah. That's not, oh, in what state? Massachusetts. Maine, Massachusetts. The main state, Massachusetts. The main part of Massachusetts.

In Newburyport. Yeah, the main area. Yeah. Well, mainly Massachusetts, a few other states. We got married at mainly burgers in Central Square. I'm going to be honest, this ruins a couple of the other questions. Yeah. Now, Caleb, it's interesting that you chose to read that one first because I got one sent,

actually, to my personal email, which is weird because it was also addressed to Patrick. But it says, Patrick, what is the full description of your penis? Do you have a little P-Man or a giant brute? What is the hex code of the color of your thingy? Is your wick wide and long or short and thin like a hair clipping? Will you let me touch your special downstairs fellow? And that's also from Caleb Pitts. Oh.

It seems like Caleb is doubling down on the ant. As Pope I once said, I am what I am. And I am in love with Patrick. So let's go through these questions one by one that Caleb is asking you, Patrick. Okay. What is the full description of your penis? Full description.

Give me the dirty details. Very normal. Normal is way too vague. No, it's very normal. If you did a Google image search of it. Normal is doing nothing for me down there right now. Can you at least make a cost? It's my, it's my, I have the stick.

Can you just whisper? Oh, you have a stick? A stick. There's some detail. Yeah. There's some detail. It's right here. That's my stick.

All right. Do you have a little P-Man or a giant brute? Well, I'm telling, I didn't finish with the first one. Okay, well, you clearly don't have a good answer for the first one, so let's keep this just move forward. No, I'm telling you that if you Google search penis and the first result, that's my penis. Really? Yeah. I'm not going to Google it because I know it by memory.

That is pretty disappointing. What's the, what's the hex code? I didn't say it was appointing. What's the hex code of the color? Hex code of the color is 0-0-0-0-0. 0-0-0-0-F. Okay, so that's just a very dark gray. Yeah.

Almost black, barely. It looks like when you boil pork. It looks like when you boil a penis. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. It looks like boiled pork. Then you go to, if you ever been to hot pot. Yeah, I love hot pot.

Yeah, so imagine just what all the meat looks like there. All of it? do all the meat, even the trip. Imagine Jim, imagine Jim Gaffigan at Hot Pot, right? Yeah. That'd be brief. Hot pot. He would be like, F words at Trump.

Yeah. Yeah. And then they'd yell at him in Chinese. These meats look like Patrick's penis. That's what he would do if he was doing a set on hot pot. Would you describe your penis as a long pig or a short pig? Short pig. The short pig.

You heard it here. Oh, yep. Are you going to let Caleb touch it? Uh, no. What if it's for a video? If it's, it depends. What if we're starring in Jackass? What if we make you a star of Jackass 4? Okay.

And that's one of the pranks. I've been thinking about this. What if we just, do you think we'd get sued if we just made Jackass 4? Because they're never going to do it. Aren't they, weren't they making it? They're in production. Okay. Jack S5.

Yeah, I mean, I guess we can. Or we could beat them to four. and then sue them when the movie comes out. That's a good idea. That's a pretty good idea. Maybe we do that when you guys come to New York. Five minute video. Five minute movie called Jackass 4.

And then when they're in there when Jackass 4 comes up. And it's just Caleb touching my penis. We send them a cease-s-d-s-d-sist. This is actually a very good idea. All right. We're going to do this. Send it on a Sullivan the Frog Enterprise's letterhead. Yeah.

Okay, that's a good idea of shape here That's a plan Okay All right Pat, do you have it Do you have a mailback? Yeah, did you receive any mail? I received a lot of emails

I've received this one here It's to Cameron It says Hi Cameron This is your big cousin, Ray Naldo I am writing today to address Some of the nasty rumors

You have said about me On your little podcast No, I am not a sex offender And no I'm not going to prom with my little brother. It disgusts me that you would say all this stuff about your big cousin, even though I'm only 17 years old. When my mom died, you said you would be my best friend and look out for me, and now you

use me like a puppet for comedy. My question is, do you stand by your remarks? Yeah. Oh, you do? Yeah. That's bold. Wow. I mean, Ray Naldo is way bigger than you.

Yeah, he's like 10 feet tall. He's really skinny, though. He's got like matchstick arms and legs. But he also has a bat with a bunch of nails in it. Yeah, but he doesn't... And it's scaled to his size. He only uses it to play baseball, though. It's like a cricket bat.

He just swings it. It's got a picture of a cricket and engraved in it. Yeah, that's what I meant. Yeah, that's why we called him Rinaldo the cricket when we were growing up. It was also because he can only speak in cricket noises, which is I think why he had to write me a letter instead of calling me on the phone. Yeah. Yeah.

And why do you... He sent it to my email. too. I think he got confused. How bad he is your typing. I think he might have been trying to use Siri to say who he was sending it to. His little cricket mind. Yeah.

Yeah, no, I stand by those remarks. You want to come get me, Ronaldo, you come get me. You know where I am. Oh, my God. Wow. Is Ronaldo single? He doesn't say. No, he went to prom with his little brother.

And he's in a committed relationship with his little brother. Oh, my God. I didn't know that. I didn't know that was real. Any, any, can you respond to the email? Can you write it really quick, Pat? Can you just click, okay, and CC me on this also. Okay.

Okay, can you send, uh, okay, prom, PROM. Hold on. Okay, prom, prom, dot, or period, I guess. Yeah. You got that? Yeah. All right, now, any room for a third? Winky face question mark.

Okay. Send. Enter? Enter. Send. Okay. Yeah. All right.

So that's sent. Cool. Now, command space. Okay. Yeah. Now, now... Minecraft. Enter.

Okay. Okay. Now log in. Log in with your username and password. Uh-huh. Okay. Now build a house. Now build a giant Mario.

Build a working Game Boy. Yeah. Out of Redstone. All right, that's done. Wow. That was... That's huge. Yeah.

I did. I learned that in Java. Wow. Where's Java? It's his type of script. Oh. Ooh, an actor. All right.

Do you have any more questions? About Rinaldo? No, no. From the mailbag. Do I? Yeah, yeah. I got tons. Yeah.

This next one is kind of a love line kind of thing. This person says, Hello, Cameron, Caleb, and Patrick. I need some relationship. I like this already. I recently met the woman of my dreams at a mutual friends party. She's gorgeous, intelligent, hilarious, and has piercing blue eyes that convince you to do incomprehensible evil. She's a great public speaker and has a killer sense of fashion, although she often wears the same thing every day, parentheses, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

She's quite popular, though she prefers to keep a low profile, as she hates being recognized in public. I love everything about her From her obsession with graphic design She even has her own logo To her tiny square mustache That sits square in the middle of her upper lip My problem is this I'm almost certain that this woman

Is Adolf Hitler leader of the Third Reich With her being 131 years old And me being 22 I worry what people will say If we start going steady My question is What age gap is acceptable in a relationship That's from Ezra

What do you guys say? It's a difficult question. If the woman's the one that's older, it's fine. Okay. So I feel like you're fine then. Yeah. Yeah, I guess that's fine. Yeah.

Ezra Hitler. I like to understand to that. Can we go back a little bit? Yeah, the Hitler thing isn't bothering you guys? I mean, when you're in love, you're in love, right? Yeah, dude. Who were we to say? Look, I don't know.

I don't trust that name. You don't trust what? Ezra? Whoa, somebody's anti-Semitic. No, no. No. What do you not trust about the name isra? I don't understand.

Well, I've been reading a lot. I've been reading a lot of history lately, and there's this guy. Yeah, civil war history. Oh, but now we're going to give some relationship advice to Patrick. There's this guy. Okay. Ah, all right. There's this guy.

He's been teaching me a lot of things. Yeah, so he's your teacher? Yeah, he's, I guess he's a teacher. I guess you could call me an apt pupil or whatever. Ooh. But your people is nice and apt. Yeah, here's the problem. I'm also dating Hitler.

Wow. Oh, so that's the issue you have here. That is awkward. So, Ezra says, keep away from my man. Hitler's the rebound. I rebound with Hitler. Yeah. So you and Ezra are fighting for this,

this woman's love. This woman named Adolf Hitler. Okay. So tell me what you like about her. The power. No, I'm actually just doing a, I'm actually doing a joke. I'm not dating Hitler.

I think you might be. I think you just feel bad now. No, I just didn't want to say that on the show. I think you're covering up because you know that. I know Ezra's stronger. than you. Yeah, I've won, I know Ezra's stronger than me, and two, Caleb, I didn't want to have a, I didn't want to have, like, a same girl situation. Yeah, this is kind of an Arkell, this is kind of the R. Kelly, uh, yeah, the Arkelly and Usher remix with T-Pain, because there's three of us, and I'm

kind of the T-Pain. You're clearly the R-Kelly, and then Ezra's the Usher, because he's a best singer. No, I'm Usher. You're an Usher, sing something. Yeah, man, you're Gusher. You might, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, when Hitler's around. When Hitler's around, it's hard not to be a Gusher. Take that. Rew, rewind it back. Usher got the beat to make your mama go. What? He never says mama. Yeah, it does.

Do you think Usher and Hitler would have been friends? No, do you think Hitler ever made a woman come? No, never mind. Do you think he ever made a woman squirt? Do you think Hitler ever made a woman squirt with his fingers? Because I have doubts. It's certainly possible. I think when he wrote this.

be and he squirted. True. That's a good point. Here's a, I have, I have this letter. We never answered the question about what age gap is acceptable. Oh, it's fine. I would say, I would say, I think we've previously said on the podcast, the only acceptable age gap is if you're dating your identical twin and you guys were born within 10 minutes

of each other. Yep. Otherwise, you're out of look. Yeah, so. Otherwise, you will go to hell. If you don't date your brother, you're grooming. Uh-huh. All right.

So I got, I have this. I got this one in the email. Hey, gang, long-time listener, first-time mailbagger. I'm a huge fan of the show, and I love all the jokes you guys do about having uncles or if Squidward was combined with the Grinch. I told them to people all the time at work. Just the other day, I pulled this guy over for a traffic stop and walked up to him with my hand on my gun. He was sweating bullets. He totally thought I was going to shoot him or something, L.O.L.

I asked him, sir, are you aware you were sucking a crap like it's McDonald's? He didn't really laugh, so I stuck a nail into his tire when I was walking back to my cruiser. I'm pretty sure I heard him praying. Anyway, I need some advice. I just backed over my son's dog in the driveway about five minutes ago, and I'm thinking of abducting a homeless guy and dressing him in a supervillain costume, then telling my son it was Dr. Dog Destroyer who crushed the dog. I could set my son loose with my gun to hunt down the hobo or something.

My son's four, by the way. He's a huge fan. I caught him eating his own shit one time. Anyway, like I was saying, I need some advice. Can you guys think of a better supervillain name? That's from The Cool Cop. Better than Dr. Dog Destroyer? Hobo with a shotgun.

That's pretty good, yeah. Hobo with a dog gun. Yeah, hobo with a dog gun. Yeah. You could go with something kind of like all-purpose, too. You could just call him like... K-9-11 doer. Whoa, that's pretty good.

K-9-11 is pretty good, yeah. Yeah. That's a Jimpa-lushi movie. You could go with something very... We'll, like, catch-all, and call him, like, chaos or something, and then you could just kind of have him do any bad thing that happens. I've got a great villain name. Yeah.

Okay, what if we just call him the pedophile? Mr. Missed a too damn pedophile. That might be good. What about dog Hitler? Oh, that's even better. What about dog Hitler? Caleb's listening.

I'm listening. That was... Caleb found the only woman that's going to make him break up with Adolf Hitler. His dog... Yeah. All dogs go to heaven. That's true. How about dog Hitler?

that's just a classic joke right there um yeah i got one oh are we still go ahead no i i feel like i can't dog hitler's been about as good as it gets what about doctor dog hitler doctors see that's a lot some people are just scared of doctors but some people are more scared of doctors as they are hitler you know nowadays i'm not the thing is i'm not really scared of hitler i mean yeah i could take them one-on-one i can kill in a conversation Yeah, I would point out the logical fallacies Yeah, I'm not so much scared as I am just kind of annoyed You know

Yeah, he is kind of annoying He's kind of like a, he's a real monkey on my back sometimes All right, you said you have a question Yeah, okay, this is an email I got It says, hello potabout list It is me, Jubio How are you today? My question is, can I kiss Caleb?

I've always wanted to kiss him, thank you, Jubio Uh, yeah, Jubio. No problem. Yeah, that's fine. Okay. I'm not Caleb, but I'm saying that's fine. Yeah, I think I'm fine with it too. Anyone can kiss me. Any, I'll say this.

Oh, I got another one. Okay. Hello, it is Jubio again. Can I receive Caleb's kiss this Sunday? I mean, you're moving things a little fast. Yeah. I was just about to say, this goes for all Mexicans. You can kiss me.

Oh, I got it. Hold on. I got another question from Juby. Legally, you can kiss me. Are these coming in in real time? Yeah. He's emailing me. right now.

Okay. Hello. It seems more like an instant messenger, it seems. Are you on AIM? Yeah, I am on AIM. Okay. That's where I got all my questions.

I don't know how you guys get this. Are you on your sidekick? Yeah. I'm using AIM on my sidekick. That's cool. Hello, it is Jubio once again. Caleb, can I stay at your house for 10 days? I've been telling him to come visit me for a long time.

Okay. He can come visit me. He can stay on my couch. He can fucking fuck my landlord. I don't care. Come, Jubio. That's all I ask. All right.

that's good i'm glad we got all jubios questions but like i was saying any mexican can kiss me i can't say no i've talked to my lawyer about this i legally cannot refuse consent it's it's part of an anti-racist it's reparations for your front facing comedy videos exactly yeah yeah so you guys are you're in the clear i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna take it and i'm gonna like it so any time nice i just i got an email actually one. This is one is also addressed to Caleb. Okay. I love being a main character. It says,

Dear Caleb, I wrote you, but you still ain't calling. I left myself, my pager on my home phone at the bottom. I sent two letters back in autumn. You must not have got him. There probably was a problem at the post office or something. This guy seems to rhyme a lot in his email, which is kind of interesting. I think I might know who this is. Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy

when I jot him, but anyways, fuck it. What's been up, man? and how's your daughter? You have a daughter, Caleb? What? I... No comment. Okay. My girlfriend's pregnant, too.

I'm about to be a father. If I have a daughter, guess what I'm going to call her? I think he wants you to guess. Oh, uh, Caleb. I'm going to name her Bonnie. That's not disrespectful. I read about your uncle Ronnie, too. I'm sorry.

I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him. I know you probably hear this every day, but I'm your biggest fan. I even got the unlawful. underground shit you did with scam i got a room full of your posters and your pictures man i like the shit you did with raucous too that shit was fat what is have you done stuff with these yeah who is this i haven't seen rocous and so this guy is a uh a really old fan this is back from when i used to write about basketball oh okay yeah that's all this is one of your reddit friends yeah okay anyways i hope you get this man hit me back just to chat truly yours your biggest fan this is patrick yeah i'd

I guessed. I guess it was Pat. The thing is, Pat, I'm, uh... I told you not at the beginning... I think you know I don't have a daughter, and I think... I think you don't have a daughter. At the beginning of my email, I said, do not read this. It's for Caleb. Oh, I don't know. Why do you send it to my email, then?

I mix up. Well, I blocked him from sending stuff to my email a long time ago. Yeah. So, just because he kept sending shit like that. He sends rhyming poems about how much he likes what you used to do. If you don't appreciate my fucking limericks, Then why am I here? Say one of your limericks right now.

What, uh, they're once as a man from Nantucket. What did he do? He fucked my ass. Yeah, Little Miss Tuffet sat on a, fuck it and fuck, Hey, little miss fucking sucked on a ducket and fucked my little pitties. She sucked me. Hey, little miss suck me, fuck the ducky. And I just went bucky.

Hey. Oh, what the fuck. Yo, and Juliet, took two boobs and pooed in the toilet, and I ate shit from a crap sandwich. Yeah. Hey-yo. Yeah. Dice man's back. Dice man's back.

Yeah. I'm very inspired by the dice man with my limelmix. I would love to see new dice. Donald Trump is an orange piece of shit. Hey. Oh. I've smoked a jewel now. Hey.

I smoke a jewel on stage. He has one of those big, like, magic the gathering mods. Yeah, that has, like, a fucking, one that looks like a, like a dragon's fucking day. Yeah, it looks like the cover of dope smoker by sleep. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Just a giant bagpipe. I have another side of a question here.

Sorry to interrupt. Okay, let Caleb, no, let, okay, Caleb, Caleb has been. Oh, thank you, Pat, that's very kind, yeah. I don't want to fuck up the rotation on my podcast. Yeah, thanks, buddy. I appreciate it. Number three is for Patrick. Not again.

Real quick, just real quick. And don't think about this with too much. Do you Patrick take Caleb as your lawfully wedded husband to have and to hold through sickness and in health and good times and bad, keeping yourself on him as long as you both shall live? So I think the correct answer here with B, I do. Let me just say. Is so he, does the audio just turn off?

Oh, no, my, my microphone cut, but what I was going to say. and I do. Yeah, no, we actually have that. I think in the state of New York, if your microphone cuts out, it counts as a yes. Oh, no. Yeah.

Well, I'm in New Hampshire, so I don't know what the statute of limitations would be. Well, but the internet is in New York, and you're on the internet right now. No, I think the internet's based in New York. Well, I mean, it kind of depends on what he was saying when his microphone cut out. It actually doesn't depend at all. And we'll never know what I said.

If you don't respond when someone has you to marry them, you have to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's, yeah. Yeah, you have to specifically opt out. specifically the volume yes Yeah Well no

We won't know what I said I already know Because I'm actually an expert Readlipper And you said You said yes Yes yes a million times yes You had me at hello

No Yeah you did I think I burped No you did burp I know what a burp looks like I think every time that I was about to answer you I burped Wrong

Just so wrong Anyway I drink a seltzer That was my question You guys Just one of you guys Go ahead And I'm gonna take some time

Okay This is a question From I love funny One two three That says What makes you guys Go nuts in the bed I feel like we talked about that

For the first 20 minutes Of this episode I don't know I think we already Covered this I love funny One two three When my girl has sex with me

True That makes me Bust my nuts Yeah Oh my God When my girl is hot as hell When my girl When my girl is

One million feet tall I bust I bust everywhere When I nut I bust Nust if you butt You know what makes me You know what makes me

Nust if you What the fuck I said Nust if you butt You know what makes me go boom Is when I Kaboom That's some real shit I'm just imagining

Nuck if you buck But now it's Nust if you butt Nust if you butt Real shit I like to think of the bedroom as the battlefield I think of the bedroom as a playground The bedroom is the battlefield I am the axis forces

And I make sure my girl knows And she's storming She's storming that fucking That Casper mattress And I'm gonna put a bullet in her head I have a lot of sand all over my bed So it looks like Normandy Yeah we

That's my me and my girl's favorite fucking role play is the beaches of normandy that's right me i'm a i'm a i'm a i'm a i'm a german soldier named hans sitting on a sitting on a on a turret and i'm killing all her friends but she makes it to me and she sticks her knife in me oh you know what i'm saying right in my heart yeah yeah yeah i'm i'm hunkering down in her trench yeah i'm one of the guys who gets shot in the in the water well i do i hire a lot of extras for the role play yeah i hire i hire about 4,000 older men. I try to hire actual veterans

who survived storming the beaches of Normandy for full effect. So I have anywhere between 1 and 200 old men walking through my living room as fast as they can and just pretending to keel over and die. Some of them actually do it. We don't check until I come.

And then, yeah, she makes it to the end and she saves, we call it saving my privates. Saving my privates, Ryan. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty fun. I got an email here and says, Good evening, gentlemen.

I represent a powerful corporation that shall for now remain anonymous. I will give you a hint, however, Steve Jobs. My illustrious company sees great potential in your Sullivan the Frog Enterprises LLC and would like to extend an offer to purchase your business. You would, of course, be able to continue producing your business. podcast, albeit with a vastly increased budget. You would have the bottomless coffers of the Steve Jobs coins

for cancer fund at your disposal. The possibilities would be endless and I look forward to hearing what you would add to the show with such wealth. Sincerely, I-E-A-T-A-B-Poop. Huh. I-E-A-B-E-A-B-Poop. It looks like the first few letters are his initials.

You said it. You said it. You said it. Are I-A-T-A-B-B-Poop. Oh, it's a name? I thought you were trying to make him say he eats a big poop. Yeah, I thought you were just... No, that's his name. No, here it says, it says, Isaac, Eric, Adam, Thomas,

Adam, Big Poop. Is it what at the bottom? Twice? It says he's had crazy parents. It must be one of those things... In his email signature. It says my parents are crazy. He like, he like moved from China to America.

Yeah. And he just get, he had to do like an American name. Yeah. And he chose, and he had a bunch. He also had the same problem. in China, where he had five different first names. He was going through immigration, and they just threw a dart at a dart board five times. They threw five darts.

Yeah. And they threw one of the darts twice, and it hit the same one. Mm-hmm. But, yeah, what, I guess, should we accept this offer to be bought out by this mysterious company? I'll never sell out because it's out of product. What could we add with that kind of money? I don't want to add anything. I think the show's perfect.

Yeah. I think I'll never sell out. I don't want to buy a big jacuzzi to all record inside of? I don't know. I mean, I guess if we could like... Hold on now. I guess if we could like... You didn't tell me there's going to be a jacuzzi.

I'm saying we could buy anything. We have Steve Jobs coins. Are you saying there's a possibility we could do forced plastic surgery on Patrick? No. I mean, it says the possibilities will be endless. Yeah, but I think it ends a jacuzzi. No, because what's the... So we haven't unveiled this, yeah, but if we get the Patreon of 15,000, like, that's our next goal.

or 10. We're basically going to install a vagina between Pat's butthole and his balls. So, just so he has the option open. Yeah. And then after that, we were going to get a jacuzzi. So basically, we could accelerate what we call phase three. Yeah. We're going to get, we're going to get, Patrick's penis is going to be zip offable, like those pants that can turn into shorts. That's, that's true. I have those pants, and it's not, you're not going to want that. It'll also be reversal, but the reverse side is going to be really scary. It's going to be like the inside of a penis. A sharp piece of glass. is what it looks like when you turn it inside out.

So, I don't know. I mean, I guess we could use some, like, round two funding, you know? Lunch or something. I was also thinking maybe we could bring the podcast into the cloud. Yeah, I like that idea. Let's go back. Hold on.

Let's circle back to what Cameron said. Cameron, you're not making any sense. Listen, the possibilities are endless and we go get lunch. I'm the ideas, man, here, okay? Since when? You've never come up with an idea in your life. I have, I'm in the, no, wrong. You're the inventions guy.

Cameron is the ideas guy. No. Yes. I'm kind of like the, I'm kind of like the Patrick Swayze type. I'm actually all three of those. I'm kind of like the Patrick Swayze type because I'm dying of cancer.

None of you are guys. I'm the only guy. Basically, I was thinking maybe we scale this thing up. Second podcast. Yeah. Podcasts about list two. Stuff we fucked. Oh yeah, we'll start a network.

We'll start the soul of a network. The stuff we fucked network. The stuff we fucked network. The SWF network. Right? And we take on, we're taking on Legion of Skanks. We're absorbing in them. right so we're absorbing crooked media as well yeah we're taking crooked media and we get and you do and you are

going to be so excited to see our our yearly company um nerf gun game uh-huh yeah that's oh my god we're doing a um we're doing a um we're i would love to see that we're taking us cereal cereal it's gotten boring nobody cares about boberg doll or some fucking guy with a ADHD and they don't even talk about cereal and we're going to be it's going to be only at every season's going to be about the new cereals it's new cereals do you think we could do you think we could do you think we could pay michel obama to do a guest spot listen i don't think there's any amount of money that michel obama would be paid you can you can pay michel obama to do anything especially concerning spots okay yeah i heard michel obama was doing a set at the left factory

michel obama is a prostitute now she's been no yes she is no she's not she'll suck and fuck for the right book No, it's true. That's not true. It's not true. I know, because I had sex with a hundred million times in a day. That's not true. And it only cost me 40 quarters.

I'm serious. I think... $10? I think you... I think you may be confused. Nope. No. Michelle Obama, 6-9, 230 pounds.

Pure woman. I don't know about that. She's gonna... She's gonna make it in the WNBA. I believe in it. No. Especially with my funding. In my love.

I'm serious. No, uh. I have a question. Yeah. Okay. Hey, boys. I was wondering how you guys deal with being bullied. Okay, this is a sincere one.

Um, that's kind of sad. Recently at school, kids have been making fun of me a lot, calling me ugly, fat, and pedophile. They sometimes kick me and throw rocks at me in the hall. And the other day, Jessica wouldn't even let me. me have a bite of her sandwich at lunch, even though I told her I forgot mine at home. It's getting so bad I might not have anyone to ask to the fall dance. If that happens, I might as well just give up and look for a different job. Do you boys have any advice on dealing with bullies?

Love Patrick. Different Patrick. I don't know. It says Patrick in New Hampshire. It's a different guy. Okay. How do you know? You guys do this to me.

How do you know? Yeah, how do you know? I'm going through so much, and you all, all you do... Well, yeah, I mean, clearly, you're being bullied. Yeah. No. Yeah. You can also, Pat, you don't have to go through this whole rigmarole of writing us an email.

We're your friends. Just call us if you're having an issue at work. Yeah. I mean... Every day I get betrayed by you. Betrayed? By me. I'm not the one bullying you.

It seems like this is Jessica and the other kids. You're doing a hit piece. There's not a hit piece. No, you wish that you could hit one of... those pieces at school. God damn it. You fucking pedified piece of shit. You fucking...

No. You're a dirty donkey. Stop it. No, you stop it. I do not like this. You like it. You like it. You don't like being called out.

I don't like this. Why do you sign your emails? Hey, buddy, don't sign your emails. That's right. Yeah, that's right. As far as bullies, just shoot them. Yeah, I deal with two bullies every day. I deal with two bullies every day.

It's you. Yeah, your parents. Yeah, you're, because you're twice the size of a normal person. Yeah, I'm huge. Yeah. I know. Yeah, you're huge, but not in the way that you're thinking. That makes no sense.

Yo, I got them. Let's get the air horns. No, there's no air horns. Uh-huh. There's air horns now playing. There's none. I have another question here from, this is from Dark Satan, the Hater. Okay.

It says, I hate you, I hate you, I hate your stupid show. Every single word you say makes me want to vomit barf out of my mouth. It makes me want to vacuum up every last drop of semen I've ever spilled back into my penis hole. That's how unpleasurable it is. I think that Patrick is a fat freak and Caleb is a bald bastard and Cameron is a gay girl. I have listened to all of your episodes and I have never smiled once. Your jokes are like nails on a chalkboard on the wall of a prison where I'm serving a life sentence. Why I'm serving a life sentence isn't important.

The point is, I hate you, I hate you, I fucking hate you. When are you releasing the first 31 episodes? Everyone's so mean to me. Probably, probably never. Everybody's so mean to me. We should do a $100 Patreon tier. If you're in jail, you get them for free. If you're in jail, yeah, it's kind of a new program we're doing.

Yeah, we're trying to drive people in prison to suicide because they're dirty scum. So we're going to give you the worst 31 episodes. hopefully you're going to hang yourself with a bed sheet and then we can be through with you the world could be through with you yeah that's what happened to Jeffrey Epstein he had the first 31 episodes that's true and they took him down Hillary Clinton wanted them so bad yeah Pat do you have another question yeah I do I have one here from voodoo chip I love them this one says hello I'm a huge fan and a long time and I love your Twitch stream when you guys started Chapo

Post, did you expect it to get as big as it is now? Yes, we knew from the very beginning. Yeah, we knew this was going to be huge. We knew, we knew so much that we started it, and then we just, we moved on to the next project. We let those other jokers take over. Yeah. Yeah. We let them do it.

Those guys, those guys are my brother's friends, and I just, what they told them, I was like, hey, do you guys want to, like, run some fucking podcast? Yeah, can you guys just, just like, don't fuck it up? Yeah, and they've done, they've done all right. Not great. You know, there's different things. For example, like things that I would do differently. For example, I would have made it more of a Republican conservative kind of podcast.

That's what I would have done. But you know what? It's not my baby anymore. It's theirs. So I respect those fucking commie homos to do whatever they want. Yeah, they have their thing. We have our thing. Yeah, you know.

And they're kind of exactly diametrically opposed. You know, they're good and we are evil. I think that's, we've kind of set that up as the, uh, the dynamic there. But thank you for the question, voodoo chip. Thank you for the question. The question. Thank you for all the questions.

This is one. This is a short one. If it's to me, please don't read it. No, it's not. This is, what's the scariest thing you can think of? That's from the terrifier. I don't know if we should tell him No

I have an idea I have an idea I have an idea The scariest thing I can think of Is a bunch of ice cream A ton of ice cream A huge blowjob Yeah

A blowjob from the sloppiest mouth I've ever A blowjob from the ice cream man Yeah Yeah And all of the Halloween candy in the world Uh-huh. Yeah, so Terrifier. I hope that's a good.

That's right. Terrifier, I hope you don't do that. It's the hardest I've laughed In like at least a month That's so fucking stupid Okay All right

What's the next question Yeah yeah No I got one Okay This is from Curious Carl Kid Would you

Would you rather fly a plane or sail a boat The plane has a PlayStation 2 built into the control panel But the boat has every GameCube game ever made If you choose the plane, there's a 10% chance 9-11 happens. But if you choose the boat, there's a 20% chance 9-11 happens. But you're on a boat, so it doesn't matter.

Also, if you're on the boat, you get to sing, I'm on a boat, and T-Pain is there. T-Pain is also on the plane, but you can't sing with him. And if the plane does get hijacked, he'll start crying. Oh, boat, then. Are you kidding? Yeah, I'd be on the boat. I would pitch my parody... You guys don't want to see T-Pain cry?

I want to pitch a parody song of I'm on a boat to T-Pain. Yeah, called... I got a goat. I got a goat. Well, if he's on the boat, if he's on the boat, you can't pitch anything to him. You can only sing with him.

You can't talk to him. You can't pitch? So I'll just start singing, I got a goat. Can you pitch to any other people on the boat or the plane? There's nobody else on the boat. So it's just you and T. Pan,

you can't pitch. Yep. No pitch is allowed. The plane is filled with a lot of people. Mr. Wonderful's on the plane, too. Is Mr. Wonderful on the boat? Because if Mr. Wonderful's on the boat, there's going to be a big problem.

problem. Mr. Wonderful's not on the boat. I believe it was his wife that did the thing on the boat. It's his wife on the boat. Is she drive, wait, no, because T. Payne and I are going to be singing, so who's driving the boat? He's Captain Jack Sparrow on the boat. Let me message Curious Carl right now. Okay, thank you. Curious Carl, who will be driving the boat? Oh, he says me. Oh, so I think Curious Carl will be the one. Can you ask you if he's a good boat pilot? Are you a good boat pilot? Wait, hold on. Curious. Carl, is your last name wonderful? One question at a time for this guy. He says...

Are you a girl? Are you a girl? No. Is your last name wonderful? Yes. Oh, shit. Okay, I'm taking the plane. Yeah? Because I don't want to die on the boat and also 9-11 to happen. I'm going to...

You'd rather just get it over with a one fell swoop? But I think... I feel like you guys aren't thinking about the place... Which is better, PS2 or GameCube. I'm going with the boat because of GameCube. Yeah, I guess that's my final offer. Because at least, if I'm dying on both, I'm going to enjoy my last couple moments playing Super Monkey Ball. Yeah.

If I'm on the plane, I can jump off before 9-11 happens. If I'm on the boat, I can swim the shore. Yeah, the boat is in a pool also. Oh, we're fine then. If it's just sitting in a pool, it's just a house. But it's in a pool of acid. Oh, then I'm not taking the boat. I'm getting on the plane.

The plane's made of acid. The plane's made of acid. The plane is made a fire. Then I'm getting back on the boat. The boat is in the plane. Okay, then I'm going to get on the plane because then I'm one layer closer to the outside of the plane. Look, I'm just trying to get close to God. Do I have a parachute?

You do on the boat, but not on the plane. Okay, on the plane, do I have a pair of shoes? Yes. I can make that work. Okay. Pat is in conversation with somebody off screen. It's a baby. He's talking to a baby.

I'm not talking to a baby. You literally are talking to a baby. You're talking to one of your students. Yeah. Nope. All right. What's the last question here? Does anyone else have any?

Yeah, we have a few more. Yeah. Do you have any more, Pat? No, actually, I don't have any more. I have two more. What about you, Kim? I got two more as well. Okay, I'll do the last one, so we'll do you first.

No, I'm doing the last one. Okay, you can do the last one, and I'll do the second to last one, though. Okay. Number six, rank the bugs by attractiveness. That's from Anonymous. Okay, number one. Ladybug. Yeah, Ladybug, obviously.

Two, Butterfly. Two, boops bug. When you get past Ladybug, all of them are men. The boobs bug. No, what about a butterfly? The Pamela Anderson bug. Is Imrata a bug? Yes.

It's possible, right? Yeah, Enrata is a bug. We don't know, I guess. So, we'll just say she is. So probably ladybug and then Imrata. And then that's all the books. Yeah, that's good number for me. All right, Cam, give me your other question.

Here's one. This is from, oh, it's from the Little Gamer. Oh. It says, and access entered. Greetings losers. I have successfully hacked into your podcast mailback episode. There's nothing you can do. do now. In precisely 24 hours, every piece of personal data you have will be leaked onto the

little web. And if you're stupid enough to still be reading this, your voice has been scanned and will be synthesized into a deep fake confessing to the heretofore unsolved zodiac murders and the planning of various terrorist acts. Any last words? Oh, I probably shouldn't have read that. No, I think about it. Why did you read that? I didn't hear it, so I'm safe. I don't really care about my personal information. I've been thinking of getting rid of it anyway. Yeah. Yeah. Everything of selling it. Yeah. To the highest bidder.

But it's, you know, I wouldn't, I wouldn't have drawn a lot of money, so it's fine. Little Gamer, you can have it. The Little Web can have it. I don't really care very much. Yeah. I honestly, I don't give a crap. Yeah. You know what? Fuck you, Little Gale. You don't have power over us anymore. That's right. You don't control us. Not since we defeated you in that battle. Yeah. We got to record. The Little Gamer. Yeah. The Little Battle.

Uh-huh. Not since the Little Wars. You guys remember that spin-offs? I do remember that. It was it was hard and it took so much editing. Yeah. Okay, here's my last question. This is for me. Caleb Pitts, do you take Patrick as your lawfully wedded wife having to hold through sickness and in health in good times and bad? It's my question, Patrick. You can't. Pipe down. You're already too uppity. And in about 30 seconds, I can legally hit you. In health, in good times and bad. Keeping your Yourself unto him as long as you both shall live.

I'm going to go with I do. No. And in the state of New York City, only half of the parties have to agree. So. Well, Cameron, it looks like I... Welcome to my life, Patrick Pitts. Ooh, initials are pee-p-p. No.

Initials are pee-p., so you're gay also. This sucks, crap. Yeah, it does suck for you. But I'm married. And I got something to brag about at Thanksgiving this year. I'm pissed off. Yeah, I have a guy wife who lives in New Hampshire. and he hates me and he said no but we're married

so the last letter we got is actually a physical letter that somebody mailed to my house which is pretty exciting kind of weird but wow it's our first like actual fan mail that's huge um the return address on it actually says um kumail nangiani 9 336 civic center drive Beverly Hills California 90210 3604

USA so I'm I'm not sure who this is from, but I'm just going to go ahead and open it up. Let's see what the boy sent us. Yeah. Hopefully it's something nice. Oh, that's weird. There's some kind of, like, powder in here. Oh, no.

That's just the language he speaks. It's a letter that just says, ha, ha. Guys, I don't... I don't feel so... over Zoom. I'm doing fine. Are you fine? Yeah, I breathe this crap in every day.

All right. Thanks for listening. Is it your first time? Is it your first time doing this? Oh, I just had a lugie. I'm fine again. They say you don't get high your first time. Oh, and he said, I'd set you some confetti.

That's very nice of him. Wow. Thanks for the good wish. Thanks for all the great letters. And a big thank you to the terrifier. Better look next time. Bye, everyone. Bye.

Thank you for listening.