Podcast About List - Ep. 118 - Would you wake a pervert from a nightmare

Episode Date: October 7, 2020

Just chilling in New Yock City www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist

You're listening to Israel's number one podcast. Podcasts to the ball list. You're really crap monster. And, and. And. And. And. And?

I have barbecue sauce in my brain, and I'm ready to record. Yeah. Yeah. I think we all barbecue sauce. We took a day of rest and it still wasn't enough. No. Yeah. It really was not enough.

We stayed up till late. till late i'm worried i'm worried we got it you think we got it we might does it just make you is it make you have a dream where you have gay sex it does really that's one of the main that's one of the main symptoms i liked it in the dream might have to try it out you could try it yeah you guys down either i'm game any takers yeah i would need you to change something about your ass what about if i fucked it what about it do you want me to wear like a pad on it to make it bigger? Yeah.

Yeah. That actually would do a lot. You could put a cushion. If you could maybe like get maybe a red sharpie and kind of like dress it up. Dress it up like a clown. But do like in the Winnie the Pooh movie where they put antlers on it. Oh yeah. Make it look exactly like a dog's mouth.

Yeah. And that might help me out a little bit. Okay. Yeah. I could do that. Nasty. I mean, while we're here, only in New York. Only in New York City.

your friend's dog dog mouth butt yeah Patrick has dog teeth in his butt I do that true I do I do I do have fangs in there you have fangs in there fangs you got a fang on there mm-hmm I got my thingy in there not yet you're about to though yeah that's right that's right that's right that's right New York City baby yeah I'm New York Rican now you are when did you decide to do that I decided to become New Yorkerican yesterday I was looking at fitted hats online. Which one did you decide on? A Puerto Rican one because I am New Yorkan.

Tell me what the Puerto Rican flag looks like. It's like the American flag with one star. I think he's right. Yeah. I think you're thinking of the star of David. Yeah. It's like blue, it's two blue lines and it's white in the middle and there's a star, David. It's like the American flag, but it's black and white except for one stripe, which is blue.

Yeah, it's like the American flag, but there's like an X in the middle. with stars on it. Yeah, it's got like stars on the X. Yeah, it's got stars and bars. Yeah, Puerto Ricans are not friendly. I didn't say that. No. That's what you said?

No, they are good people. They are good people. They love my front door and standing in front of it. It's like when I think it's a cultural, it's like on their, it's like their holiday. Yeah. Caleb's Door Day. On Sunday and Saturday, they stand in front of Caleb's door. Yeah, and they bring all their family too.

They just kind of stand there. Yeah, it's like a pilgrimage. Yeah. It's like Mecca for Puerto Ricans. You have to go to Caleb's door and stand in front of it when he's trying to go to the store. It's really nice. It's really good. I like to learn more about different kinds of cultures.

New York City is the best place to do that. New York City's run by every kind of culture. Each part of the city has its own personality, which is what makes it so interesting. Exactly. You got the Puerto Ricans, the Italians, the clowns. The mole people. The sponge bobs and the squarepanses. The little guys.

The little guys. The funny monkeys. They all run around. Two brothers named Ted and Todd. Mr. Blister. Todd and Rod. Todd and Rod. Todd and Rod, two other brothers.

They share the same Todd, though, between those two groups. Rod and Ted. Rod and Ted. Is it Rod and Ted and Ted? Ted and Ted and Tad. Tongan and Dengens. Tongan and Dengen. Yeah.

Ted and Nugent. Ted and Nugent. Yeah, Homer and Simpson is what you're thinking of. Yeah. You're thinking of that little yellow-ass homie Bart. I am. Yeah. Little homie Bart.

Me and Patrick last night when we were trying to fall... Don't puff bar it. I'm puff barring at that. We were trying to fall asleep and we just kept going back and forth and saying, I'm that little-ass homie who fell between the couch cushions. I'm that little weird guy. I'm that little weird guy that fell between the couch. I'm that little-ass homie who gets into the nooks and grannies.

Yeah. Yeah, it is a nightmare of sleeping one room over from you two. I know. I'm just hearing you guys just keep going to like. I was asleep. Jana was fucking watching TV. And you guys just... Heavee sweet.

We were trying to stay in your bedroom. I'm back to being tired all the time. Yeah? Yeah. Did you leave being tired all the time? No, I mean, the past couple weeks I've been feeling good. Yeah. But I don't know.

I think it's just hanging out with you guys. Stop. the energy and light from you, though. Stop. It'll wake you up. No, I don't want to get hurt. I don't want to get hurt again. I think it's just like...

I pinched his bottom. I pinched it. All we did, the first day, the first day we got here, we stayed up drinking until like five and the tomorrow. I should have waited until the last day to do that. That was so stupid. And then, yeah, it drained me. Like, I got, like, I ate a euro and walked eight miles yesterday.

I'm like, I feel like fucking shit. Eight mile. Oh my God. eight mile but I'm also psyching myself out track yeah so psyching myself out because it's like oh man I'm I feel like shit and then it's like I already had all the COVID symptoms like all the time already had all the COVID symptoms in the car I already had a fever and a cough and a sore throat when I was in the car with you guys I had him as soon as you guys picked me up I had those before COVID existed every day I think I have COVID and then I realize I just am right I've been living in the

fucking woods at my parents like i don't yeah and i've been living there too yeah yeah i've been staying with your mom no yeah you didn't move in with my mom i didn't move in i'm that under i'm that underground homie who lives in the dirt you're a worm don't yeah i'm that wormy little homie that squirms around dude you're like oh you're like my only worm homie right now my only worm my own worm i miss my worm yeah do you have a pet worm i do now it's camera I do have a bit of a worm. I miss my worm. I paid $16,000 for a purebred worm.

Yeah. They breed it to have legs. He comes to, he crawls on my couch. Yeah. He squirms on there, dude. He squirts on me. He squirts on me. My pure red worm is a freak.

Worms have, is it true that worms? I've seen a worm poop. Is it true that worms are easily confused? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is that true?

Yeah. If you put, you can, if you tell a worm, it's not opposite. Day blows its freaking mind. It doesn't even... Never tell a worm or riddle. If you tell a worm or riddle, it'll go underground and hide. That's scary.

The opposite day paradox. Have you seen that? What's that? Explain. It can never be opposite day because that means that there is a day that's called not opposite day.

It can never be opposite day. Do I really sound like that? No, that's just what... It's supposed to be Zijic. I'm like that. No. Oh, yeah, we've been fighting all day because this morning, Caleb made us lattes and Patrick asked for Caleb to make a pretzel on his latte art.

He didn't make the art. He didn't do a outing me as a gay artist who makes coffee. I just feel like we need to be transparent about what's going on. Yeah. Yeah, you want to be a transparent. You want to be Jeffrey Tambour. You want to be Jeffrey Tambour. That's right.

Did he get in trouble for sex or being too funny on set? I don't remember right now. It was definitely one of those. he's too funny when we have when we do the show with him yeah he makes his laugh we don't get any work done no that be no that would be ridiculous that doesn't make any sense he's not even funny dude yeah come on what you know you know he's not that funny it's just he it's the good scripts true yeah it's really it's really it's really uh michael bateman i love every any time that it's really geoffrey bateman anything funny and the rest of development

Is that his name? It's really Matthew Bateman. Matthew Bateman. It's really... Matthew Bricleuth. On my counter right now. Let's just start the list of that as something to think about. What time is it?

Oh, it's six in the morning. Oh, that's why you're tired. That's why I'm tired, yeah. Yeah, it's 6 a.m. Does you have somewhere to be? Mm-hmm. Yeah? You got a doctor's appointment?

I've got to go to the store. To do what? I got to go get groceries. What kind? What are you making? I'm making a big stew. A stew? At my house?

I'm making you a stove. I need all four burners. Do you have like a huge cauldron? You have a cast iron pot. Do you mind if I make a fire in the middle of your living room, put my cauldron on? I need to smoke this dinosaur leg. Yeah. I'm making potions in your kitchen.

Is that sick or what? Do you have mud? Do you have mud? I could bake into a pie. Do you have mud I can use for a potion and little bits of leaves? Leafs. Today we're doing the most romantic things to do with her. All men want to be the most romantic person in the lives of their partners.

So when Valentine's is around, we always start thinking for long hours how to make this day the most beautiful and romantic one. Here are some ideas for the beautiful couples to make this day an unforgettable one. An unforgivable one? Here's things to do. I had a very unforgivable Valentine's Day. I spent my Valentine's Day with the unforgivable one. I didn't have a choice The unforgivable one took me out

He filled my heart with chocolate Yeah, it was really scary Yeah, he cast a spell on me Number one, kiss her slowly so she can feel every spark That's right Oh my God Top comment I plan on kissing my future woman for the first time

Slowly and Intimately And I'm hoping she will do the same on February 14 She won't Women love when you kiss them slow as hell When you kiss a woman's sensually and intimately When you kiss a woman's sexual I'm about to go slug on that mouth if you're not careful. It really works out for both of you.

She might not even want the moment to end. True. So slow that it's forever. That's right. Wow. That's what the unforgivable one does. He puts you in an infinite rolling that you can never leave. He puts you in the phantom zone.

Definitely the best. Always works and it makes her feel very special. Women love the yumminess of your lips touching. Let her enjoy it. Be like. Damn. My boyfriend did this and it was perfect. Would you love the yumminess of my lips touching you, Patrick?

Do they have like barbecue sauce chapstick and shit? They have like skittles. I'm sure they have like bacon chapstick. They probably do. It's just bacon fat. It's not even like. Yeah. Yeah.

Beef tallow. Just using it like chopsticks. Just going out on a walk and just getting mauled by a pit bull. It's getting your lips. Lips ripped off. Yeah. A Reddit guy wearing bacon. My lips were too juicy.

Wearing bacon-scented underwear to attract Reddit women and just getting his dick ripped off by a dog the second he sets what outside. I don't think even Reddit women like bacon. No. Bacon is a, is a treat for a male. Fine, a gay Reddit man. Okay. All right.

Maybe that's it. All right. Okay, maybe we could write a script about this. A gay guy on Reddit. What would a gay guy on Reddit act like? Probably like a gay guy. Yeah. On Reddit.

He'd probably type kind of funny. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He would, uh, he'd probably go on relationship advice and say, I'm gay. What do? Yeah. Instructions unclear became gay.

I actually became gay. I will probably try this when we are dancing. It is the first thing a girl want to be is kissed. Mm-hmm. That's true as hell. Where the hell is sex? It should definitely be on top one. is sex sex isn't romantic though romantic is a stuff that you do so that somebody will have sex with you

that's true sex there's nothing romantic about sex dude sex is fucking sex is god's mistake yeah he accidentally made that shit yeah you know god's big as folly he didn't expect it to happen yeah yeah yeah heavy donkey con comments and says she'll just keep it going and force you to let it last loggner awesome heavy don't would you kiss heavy donkey con i would donkey con Metal Donkey Kong. Could you knock metal Donkey Kong off the stage? No. Not in a million years, dude.

It's way too heavy. Number two, hug her tightly in the story night. I love being romantic. So beautiful. Wait, we need to test some of these. Yeah. Pat, what would you do? Look at me.

Look me in the eyes. What would you do if I hugged you tightly in a story night? I would probably hug you tight. Whoa. Wow. It works. I'm getting romantic as hell right now. Patrick.

I accidentally got so romantic today with my friend. Oh, I got too romantic. Hey, Patrick, could you hug a lovely fool? Could you throw it back for an ad-junk professor? Could you throw it back on a lovesick frog? Could you make a sensitive thug happy? Could the lonely play I have a single thought? Would you let the...

A sensitive creep hit it? Yes. I would. Laugh out loud. I hugged my girlfriend really tight. And I kissed her on her neck. She swear never to let go. That is hilarious.

She slapped you. Whoa. Hug is the warmest thing in the world. Whoa. I can barely see stars in the city. That's why you got to take her to a, like an old house outside of the city. Yeah, an old haunted mansion. Yeah.

You're like, aren't the stars so amazing here? First Resident Evil. Yeah. There's so many stars out here. Yeah. When we huged, it was felt so good. We hugged. I love hugging a girl.

Yeah. I've never done that. Yeah, you would never hugge a girl. I would never huge anybody. No, there's not a chance. Number three, while watching a sunset, hug her from behind, kiss her cheek, and whisper in her ear. I would do that to you guys. You would do that at a stranger.

Do it just, come on. No, I don't want to. You just said you would do it. We are not watching a sunset. Oh, look, the sun's going down. Oh, my God, two o'clock. That's weird. It must be God telling you to fuck me.

I'm not going to do that. Oh, my God. Baby, look how beautiful the stars are. I think it's God saying you should suck my balls. It's amazing. Number four, hug and kiss her from behind and tell her you love her. That's kind of one step up. Yeah.

Also, girls don't like being kissed from behind. that's like a That's like a That's like a I know That's the thing That's the thing You would do

To the backwards man Mm-hmm Yeah Exactly That's what you do To fucking backwards man Until you do to

Tom Green Yeah You don't do that To a normal woman The backwards woman No Backwards woman Maybe

They're making A female Reboat Freddy got finger That's a very different movie Yeah Number five

Kiss her deeply On the lips And then say You'll always be mine Forever That's beautiful some of these are almost bringing me to tears yeah the top comment on this with nine upvotes is deep kiss then a loving passionate i love you they'll be mine forever can be a little creepy

that's true a lot of these could be a little creepy not if you're doing it with a romantic friend you're doing it in a romantic way yeah yeah what if this was we could read this list as like top 10 ways of piss girls off you piss strangers off yeah top 10 ways to to ruin your relationship with your father. Yeah, like number six. Kiss her on her neck while dancing to slow music. While dancing to slow music with your dad. Yeah.

True. Well, you added back of the neck. Yeah, that's even worse, I feel like. I do it right in the front of the neck, right in the center. Right on the, right on the collarbone. Daddy, that Adams apple is looking like a damn tar. I'm going to bob for that. I'm going to bob for that.

I'm going to stick my head down your throat and bob for your Adam's apple from inside. I'm going to turn up for you, dad. Just watch. The top, uh, the top, uh, the top. comment on this is this is most intense way to express your true feeling for her knowing more romantic than this got me the best sex I love listening to slow music comment that says when this I did this she got nude and striped me

and we had some really nice sex guys it really works and someone striped me a little too much information buddy yeah and then another guy says too much information thanks for that I love information What a pervert Yeah, come on Don't tell people your girl striped you Be romantic, don't be sexual dude

Say I fell in love with my girl physically Don't say we striped each other No, I mean, let's try and think of some romantic things you do Yeah You could Would you wake up a pervert from a nightmare? No, that wouldn't be romantic Would you?

You're not supposed to wake people up from nightmares You know, you are. They could die. They could die. The nightmare could become real. That's true. That's like the rule. Would you wake up a sensitive pervert and make his dreams come true?

Is he having a nightmare? Is he having a nightmare? Because a pervert's nightmare is me sticking my boot down his fucking face. Laking face. Trying to think of a romantic thing to add to this list. Maybe like bending yourself into their name. maybe becoming a pretzel. Becoming a pretzel that spells their name out.

Yeah, that might be a good idea. Yeah. Learning sign language. Just for them. Becoming a sign language interpreter. Learning Spanish so you can talk to them. That's romantic. That's true.

Not screaming at them for doing yoga in the middle of the living room. Asking them to marry you. Yeah. What's more romantic than that? That's true. Asking them to marry you again. Yeah. Will you, can you renew your house?

Will you marry me all over again? Will you marry? Would you marry? If we could go back in time, would you marry your little as homie? Who's the one that got away for you guys? Cameron. Patrick. He's right there.

Wait, you're each other's one who got away? What? This might be a huge development, dude. We might start a new season of the show right now. We got away from each other. You got away from each other earlier. You're right next to each other right now. No, we got away from each other.

Get back with each other. I don't think it can happen. I can't do that. Not after what happened. Not after the things that happened to between us. Too much happened. Did someone make some decisions? There was a nightmare involved.

Really? Yeah. Sometimes love is a nightmare and life is a highway. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. One day here the next day gone. Yeah.

Sometimes the cow jumps over the moon. Mm-hmm. Sometimes the farmer's in the Dell. I hate when that happens. That's too scary for me. I hate when the farmers in the Dell. This is a sad and sensitive emotional episode. We're deciding to be sort of a slower and emotional podcast.

This is a quiet. This is a, this is, if you want to have lovely dreams. Yeah, put this on before bed. We're pivoting to lovely dream podcast. Yeah, let's do like a, let's do a guided meditation for someone to go to sleep. Ready? Yeah. All right.

And look in the mirror before you go to sleep. You look at that mirror. You look at yourself. You stare in the mirror for five minutes until you see a freak. Look at your fucked up brown eyes. Look at you. In India, you'd be in the lowest cast. You'd be in untouchable.

Look at those fucking eyes. You look like shit. Okay. Well, you need to go to sleep. You smell. all about yourself you smell you smell like dog shit Patrick's asleep we're walking Patrick through this all right now get in bed tuck yourself in tuck yourself in tuck yourself in if you do not have a mom around tuck yourself in

that's right it might be tough avoid the wet spot avoid to avoid that stain in your bed oh what's that stain do you spill what's that stank you spill salsa in your fucking bed what the fuck is that it's all right give it a smell double check before you get to sprinkle some on your pillow oh fuck you forgot to brush your teeth oh get out of bed get up get up wake up your teeth go to the bathroom all right now we're back in the bathroom put your finger in your mouth put your finger in your toilet then put it in your mouth your finger in the toilet and then check to see if there's any wind in the room see what direction it's coming from find the draft right you you feel the wind coming out from a wall go to the wall in the wall break the wall open

oh my god you're in the truman show you see the you're in your truman you're truman you're You're Truman from the Truman Show. You see the set. There's cameras everywhere. Just go back to the bathroom. Go to bed in the tub. If I found out that I was on the Truman Show, I'd probably just keep doing it. Yeah, why not doing?

You'd be like, it's a job. It's a living. You know? You got a pretty cool life. Actually, I would start just hamming it up a lot. How did you, how did it was it, it was an island that they built the show around? It was Jamaica. Yeah.

It's a metaphorged frame. Jamaica yeah that's what that movie shows a metaphor it's the immigrant experiment experiment experiment experiment this is just indicative of the immigrants experiment the immigrants experiment can how long can we go without learning English that's the immigrants experiment Truman didn't know English at all what's the craziest name we can tell the guy at Ellis Island what do you think his life was like show when he lost the you will be a Truman show you will be a Truman show You are Dark Knight

Terminator 2 Ricky Morty What do you think he did when he left the dome Probably got some dome That's right You got some dome from a hoe You think you went to the nearest bitch and got domed? Yeah

I think the thing is like... He was like the most... Yeah, they gunned him down the second he stepped down the He's like the fucking most famous guy in the world, right? Yeah, is he going to escape? I mean just like it instantly just so famous and getting just so many fucking blowjobs. Yeah.

Yeah. But he would never escape his legacy. That's right. Would you ever escape your legacy? No. I could. No, everybody knows me as that crazy legacy liver. I'm a sensitive thug who hides it with a smile.

That's right. People know that. That follows me everywhere I go. Yeah. People say he laughs through the pain like a thug clown. Would you stroke a handsome strangler? Yeah. That's fucked up, dude.

I would. Why? What the hell? Just because. It's a bad choice. Yeah, that's bad optics, dude. You're making bad choices right now. You're making bad choices today. I think I'm making a good decision.

Number seven, lay with her in her bed and wrap your arms around her. Maybe stroke her hair. No. He's not even sure. He can maybe stroke her hair. Yeah, maybe. Here's a comment. Joey lay with Angelica bed.

Yep. I've been saying that. I would love that. Can you tell my boyfriend about this? No. Great idea. You should do that to me. I'll be naked.

This is a great idea. You guys should just come over. I'll be naked, by the way. You can do all the stuff on the list of me. Yeah, I'll be naked. I would tell them to get out of my hair. That's so true. That's female humor.

So my little brother is doing this in the scenario. Yeah. Get out of my hair. Hey, get out of my hair. You get out of my hair right now. Number eight, watch the sunset on a silent beach. It's like a nude beach. A silent beach.

How many times is it going to be like a sunset? It's romantic, Patrick. There's only, like, six romantic things. That's true. You just have to mix and match. Sunset, stars, NBA game, playoffs. A giant cake. A giant cake with your name on it.

And Monster Jam. That's some real shit. What's number six? That was all of them. Okay. That was six. Can you knock out? Yeah, I can't.

Amazing. Did it, and it was definitely an option I'd recommend. And if it's cold, lend her your coat. No. But then you're cold. No. I'm not giving up my coat. Listen, bitch.

First things first. I'm not giving up my coat. We're going to walk on this beach, and you're not getting this coat. You should have packed heavier. Yeah. Yep. You should have brought your shit. You should grow some hair on your body.

I know I told you to wear a bikini, but that's more for me than you. Sunset on a silent beach is great. You might even get something for yourself that evening. You might even get something for yourself. You need to go get a jawbreaker. Yeah. Hey, you want to get out of here? Maybe go get some job break.

Get a humongous jawbreaker that we just hauling up. that we can share. He's holding her cheek. Hey. Hey, babe, you want to come back to the cul-de-sac? Yeah, sorry if this is too forward, but I'm thinking of doing a get-rich-quick scheme to get a quarter. Do you want to end? Do you want to build a go-kart with me?

I'm going to build a go-kart with me. Hey, Ed boy. What's up, Ed, Ed, man, Ed boy. Damn, Ed boy, okay. You're good as hell, Ed, boy. What up? That's Plank. That's what Plank was saying the whole show, nobody could hear him.

because they were in hergatory. God damn, Ed boy. Ed boy, you look fine. Hey, boy, take that wig off. Is that a hat or a wig? It's a hat. I think he's wearing an old sock as a hat. Did you guys also think that was a girl

when you were a kid and you had a crush on him? No. Yeah, me neither. Yeah, I didn't. No. I didn't either. Double D. Double D, yeah.

Yeah, it's not like that's COVID in anyway. double d got some big some head and eddie was tricking me into being gay for sure yeah yeah i mean they had but it didn't work they had sex on the second episode that's true a jawbreaker is what they called ed's cock that's why it was called a job breaker is you busting yeah it was busted it's too big dude it's too thick yeah and that thing on double d's head that's right it was a condom uh-huh and ed the gravy bath yeah i don't even you know what i don't I don't even want to go there. I don't even want to get into that.

They were in purgatory for having sex. This isn't man cow. We don't have to get all fucking disgusting like that. What I just did with my girlfriend or fiancee because we got engaged while doing so. We got engaged while doing sex. We got engaged while doing so. Run through a big field together and then fall down with her, you become tired, then just kiss her and say she's adorable. That's attack of the clones.

That's what they do in attack of the clones. They get tired? they get tired and then and then Padme falls down and he says she's adorable do you want to go to you want to drive to a big field and then just run around

until we fall over do you want to go to Nabu and fall down no you're supposed to surprise them you just chase them around the field yeah number 10 lay down on the roof of your car at midnight and watch the stars

man that's just transformers that's transformers now you're just doing movies you guys are just doing movies come on I don't have a car thing, but you got to have a romantic song playing with the windows down. That's right. Beer from my horses, Toby Keith and Willie Nelson.

Seale, Kiss from Rose. Twinkle, twinkle. As if you're watching the stars, at least. Oh, true. Yeah. If anything else, ABC. It changes based on the situation, I guess. Yeah.

Yeah. IBS by Cam Ran. If you're on the toilet. Yeah. If you're on the toilet and having a really hard time. Yeah. You know. Yeah.

Don't stand so close to me by the police if you're a teacher pedophile. Yeah. Yeah. If you're at a nice song, if you're at a nice song, sing was a teacher. Yeah, that's the funny part about it. Yeah, he was like, oh, I was a teacher. And this song is inspired by, don't stand so, don't stand so. It is funny to make that song be like, nobody's going to know. No one's going to think about that. Publicly, you're like, yeah, it's crazy. When I was 30, I was a teacher. And then you make a song, it's like, I want to fuck an 11 year old. And it's a ska song. Yeah. He made some fire scott. He did. yeah he really did yeah if you're eating a fancy dinner the most romantic song is eat it true

weird owl could be romantic if you have a goofy wife yeah if my girl doesn't finish her dinner at the restaurant i'm leaving that's true yeah i'm leaving her i would hate to have a funny wife more than anything dude yeah my comedy wife the funny wife my comedy wife keep putting weird owl on while we have sex dude so annoying it depends if it is a clean car ass okay I don't have a car. This is crap. I don't want to dent my roof. Sounds like a great idea.

If you don't want to dent your roof, go on a diet, fatty. He's not, doesn't have a... It's not that he's fatty. He has a horn in his back. Yeah. I don't know. He's made out of metal. Now the contenders.

Number 11, nestle her head in your chest and struck her hair. Oh, yeah, that's Nestle. Nesley, her head. The Ness Quick Bunny. Mm-hmm. Give her a Nessly crunch. Do you guys have enough hair on your chest that you could nestle somebody in it? I have no hair on my chest.

I have a lot of hair. Completely hairless. I want to see that, big boy. Oh, my God, you have no hair. Yeah, dude, I'm smooth. Whoa. Cameron's a smooth boy. Cameron's smooth.

Yeah. You could water slide down there. I mean, this is Cameron's smooth summer, dude. Yeah, you didn't know I was, I told you that before. You've told me, I'm smooth. I'm smooth, yeah. I've definitely told us. We were just walking around L.A., both very depressed.

Man, I'm smooth. I've absolutely told you, man, I have no hair on my body. We definitely had that conversation. at least twice. No hair. No, I have hair. I got hair where it counts. All over your penis.

Yeah, inside my penis. Yeah. Oh, my God. I got hair on my penis. Goes all the way to the tip, dude. Jesus Christ. I put, I put the hair into my pee hole when I'm not using it. And then it sprouts. And it sprouts out like a flower.

Like a bang gun from a Joker gun flag in the gun. Your chest, you took off your shirt and the flag came out. said hair on it. There's no hair. Take her to a restaurant where there is just one table and not a single person around with light music and candlelight. That's not a restaurant. Take her to a restaurant where there's nobody and there's no food, no waiter. It's a single table.

There's one light and a candle. That's the best restaurant. And that's the most amazing restaurant in the world. It's called Romance Dishes. It's called your garage. Yeah, it's called the basement. Romance Dishes. would be a really good name for a romantic restaurant.

The sexual plate. I just want to read this comment from the last one really quick. Okay. Before girlfriend, one, videos games. Two, girlfriend. After girlfriend, one, girlfriend, 99 video games. For me, it was kind of opposite. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I switch it up on her. Yeah. I actually switched up on my wife. For the one who said he hates the one who ever think of this, it was your fault. you are not supposed to turn around.

You are supposed to go to her and tell her how you feel. And I'm only 14 years old, but trust me, do it again. But instead of turning around, go to her and ask her to dance or something, do everything her way. Everything's always her way. So the top comment is, there are no restaurants with only one table. It's true. Try New York City. You might be surprised.

Yeah. Yeah. Number 13, send a written message through any little street boy expressing your love to her. Any little street boy. What is that mean? Little street boy. I need you to confess your voice. Did you mind taking my message?

His comment says, I would chase away the street boy. What is a street boy? His comment says every girl wants this. Every girl wants a little street boy. A little street boy. A little street boy. A little street boy. Hello, madam.

He loves you. I'm a bit of a scamp, but I have a message for you. I'm that little as street boy who loves women. I'm that street boy that delivers those messages. What's a little street boy? Hey, little boy, come over here. Here's $10. Are you whispering that girl's ear for me?

We get real nice and close. Number 14, watch Duck Dynasty reruns and drink boxed wine over crushed ice. Swag. Swag. Top comment, best one. She loved it. LMFAO. Yeah, she loved LNFAO.

She's dead. Have done this numberous times, LMAO. Wow. Someone just gets the fluids flowing. Ugh. Number 15, kiss her in the middle of her sentence. Hey, could you please leave me? Get out of my house.

Taxi! No, that's the end of the sentence. Taxi, taxi? No, she's planning on saying it two more times. Oh, okay. Come on, dude. I think I'm an amateur. I've done that shit.

I want John C. Riley to do this to me so bad. Like, I talk so much and he kisses me to shut up. John C. Riley. Shut up, you stupid, bitch. Don't see, right. Hey, you dumb bitch. Shut up. Would you like to get a kiss?

Listen, I'm going to kiss you right now. Hey, listen, I got to kiss you. Yeah, they told me to do it mid-sentence. They told me you have to do it mid-sentence. You do realize that a woman can also kiss her man in the middle of his sentences. I did not realize to that. You neither. There's freaking feminists on the Top Tense.com ruining everything.

These feminists think that women can kiss back. Number 16, pull her away from her friends and sing songs for her. Come here. Hey, come here. Come here. Fuck the rules. There they go. Back to stadiums and shady spits his love.

Not say go. Top comment. I sing to my girl every time I like to wake up with a beautiful song. I love you when your hair turns gray. I'll love you if you gain a little weight because she is the rose that blooms in my garden. Gosh, I'm so in love with her every sec of my day. It will be three years next month. Baby, can I sing for you?

Can I freestyle for you real quick? I love little girls. They make me feel so. Good. Hi-ho the Dario, the farmer in the Della. She loves when I do my ukulele version of shipping up to Boston. That dilly darn doge comments. How much is that dog in the window?

How much could that little dog be? Well, yes, but timing is everything. If she's trying to discuss something with some friends and you pull her away and start Rick rolling her, there's a 50-50 chance or doomed forever. It's going to work. Nah, the Rickroll, bitches love getting Rick rolled. Because you're telling them that you're never going to give them up. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. When me and Jennifer started dating, she didn't know what that was, dude. Damn. Can you imagine just somebody not knowing what a Rickroll is, man? Yeah, I know. That was crazy, dude. My first Rickroll. Yeah.

They have Spotify ads now that Rickroll you. It was like dating a cave man. That sounds fun, though. Yeah. Here's the bottom comment. I would ask him if he is crazy because he sounds like a cock crowing. You sound like a serious crowing cock right now. Hey, girl, let me sing to you.

You sound like a cock growing. Hey. There we go. Your sound makes my cock growing. Okay. You're glaring. No, that's probably the end of it, huh? Mm-hmm.

That's right. Take her on a long drive away from her house in the evening. Do you want to get as far away from your house as possible? Be carful. She doesn't feel like she's being kidnapped. I promise I'm not kidnapping you. That'll do it. Yes, and make sure to have the windows down so you can feel the fresh air if it is warm outside.

And put them up if you start to talk to her. You do not want anyone hearing what you have to say to her outside the car. Definitely. No. It's bad news. Number 18. Every time you see her after a certain period of time, wrap your arms around her and refuse to let go playfully, of course. After a certain period of time.

What is that mean? dude. Refuse to let go. I'm refusing to let go of you. I really don't like this list because it does feel like it's made by adults. Yeah. I do this to my girl all the time. She hates me.

Tries struggling to try and get me. But then we normally turns into real play, if you know what I mean. Oh, it turns into real play. Don't forget the real play. Real play. Well, it's for play and then real play. Yeah. Patrick's disgusted.

Patrick is literally trying to make himself vomit right now. yeah I'm gonna peep you're gonna pupe yeah you have a pub number 19 get some bonfire in your room

and sit on the carpet with her watching her favorite film they're talking about the Dan Soder show yeah that's true listen to the bonfire listen to the bonfire with your wife she's gonna go crazy for the gilless episodes I know bonfire in the house or in my room this will not make me want to have sex with you

it will make me want to call 911 and say fire Mm-hmm. Boop-poop-poop. Fire. Does it hang up? Fire. Fire. Did you say tire?

If her favorite movies are crappy rom-coms, then fuck no. From Beatles fan, 1964. I hate with my bitch like rom-coms. Holding hands while walking on a private beach, just the two of you. Wow. Top comment, he just did it. He just did it. Yeah, he actually just did that.

When my boyfriend takes me on a private beach, I go on Google, I search holding hands while walking on a private beach. And I comment on the first time I say, he just did it. He literally just did that shit, right then? Number 21 goes skinny dipping. Have you guys ever gone skinny dipping? No. No. I did it one tub.

You go skinny dipping in the shower. Yeah. I went skinny dipping in Yosemite and there's a picture of me with the smallest penis in the world. Can I see? Yeah. It's somewhere in this house. Can we find it? And you have to solve my riddle.

I want to play a game. Under the couch, it may lie. That's the riddle. That's the riddle. That's the entire riddle. In the fridge, you may find the photo. Number 22, take her to the terrace under the moon and say even the envious moon is hiding behind the clouds. And the top comment is, it's terribly crap.

It's true. Even the envious moon is hiding behind the clouds. Even that envious moon is hiding behind the clouds. Thanks for coming on the terrace under the moon, by the way. I know it's a hall. Number 23, watch a movie with her. No, this never works. Did this to my wife and gave it.

I'm going to have to pull this one out. Did this to my wife and gave her a back rub and said, I love you. That night we also had her favorite for our anniversary dinner. Do this for her when you are in a fight or for any occasion. Trust me, it works. I love her. Okay, dude. You don't have to rub it in at the end.

I love my wife. I love my wife. Yeah, who cares? I watch movies with my wife every time the kids are asleep. Rent the proposal and do this. We both love it. Go to Red Box now. That's a Red Box ad.

Love to in dim lighting comfortably between her arms. I love it my big wife holds me. We watch Pixar movies. Did this ending up having sex me and her will Netflix and chill? Sincerely Christian. Luke Ross, Coking, Cook, book,

Dree up, music CD days. Let her pick the movie, dude? Fuck no. Yeah, no. So you're gonna pick

fucking True Detective season one the part where I'm gonna pick Jack. That's right. Matthew McCona has sex with the wife.

Yeah. She's gonna just want to watch that over and over again. Mm-hmm. It's yucky. It's disgusting. Listen,

I can get that he has a nice square ass. No, man. We're gonna watch we're gonna watch the raid redemption. That's right. And every time a, and every time a man gets his arm broken

and I'm going to say, I will do that to you if you pick the wrong movie next time. Maybe it's time for our Friday Uve-Bole marathon. We're watching Rampage. We're going to watch Postal and Rampage. Yeah. We're going to watch Falling Down. The Salt on Wall Street.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then we're going to make a movie. Yeah. We made a movie last night. An Uve-Vole movie. Number 24.

Get blue lights in your room and pleasant slow music. Perfect for a dance. Mm-hmm. That's like an underwater dance. I love it. You're amazing at this. I'm naked. You should come over.

Oh, my God. You think anyone got laid off this list? There's a lot of flirting with on here. That's a pedophile hunter. Yeah. True. Yeah. Take her to a favorite wedding restaurant with a ring in her glass.

You should start to get even read. Try it again. Take her to her favorite restaurant with a wedding ring in her glass. That's right. So this one's just proposed to her? Top comment is, top comment with 17 upvotes is, that's how people die. Safety should always come first.

you dick-licking jackass 17 people saw that and were like, hell yeah You fucking asshole, piece of shit You stupid idiot Now that's dangerous Only a man who hates his wife Or his girlfriend

Would try something like that Yeah, you have plausible deniability there You know, that's a good way To kill your wife probably Bubble bath, candles, low light And just you, her, and soft music I would do that with Patrick I would let it happen

It was last time you took a bubble bath I don't know. It really is fun relaxing together. Maybe. It really is fun relaxing together in a warm, soapy bathtub. Everyone should try it at least once. Hot water or cold. Freezing cold.

Ice water. Ice bath. Have you ever seen Titanic? Yeah. It's romantic as hell. Me and my wife, LeBron James, are getting my ice bath. Number 28, go to kiss her lips and quickly peck her on the nose. What are you?

A bird? Come on, man, I would never pick Like a bird I'm that little bird homie who pecks you I'm the bird who pecks If I was a bird Would you give me your seeds? Yeah, now that's a now breaking bird

Breaking bird I'm no one who pecks Bird is a new t-shirt Bird is bad Birding bad Bird pit Breaking no Bird pit

Breaking my butt Come on dude You gotta make it all about an ass Oh my god With Ed Robin Ed Ed

Pubman Penguin? Beak Norton. Beak Norton. Whoa. Beak Norton might be a great guy. Beak Norton. Beakman. I'm Beekman Norton.

Beekman's world, and he's a bird this time. Okay. What other birds things? A flying... The flying Dutchman. I flew over the cuckus nest. Because I'm a bird. Because I am a bird.

Spongebird's Squares nest. Okay. Spongebirds beak, beek's wings. Beakward. Beak word. Tenticles. This is Beaksburg. Yeah.

Okay. Right? Like Branchburg. Yeah. Yeah. Or it could be Branch Bird. Yeah. Birds Branch.

The birds branch. Can we start a new podcast called the Birds Branch where we talk about bird news? The God bird. Fuck. The fucking. The God feather. The God feather. Come on, dude.

That was my first try. That was not. The fucking bird. The fucking bird. Mm-hmm. The fucking, how to kill a fucking bird. Mm-hmm. okay how to kill a fucking bird that was that was that was um that was her

that was whatever her name is his first google search yeah her name was uh jane rand her name was jim hadar number 29 during hugging time tell her that you adore her hugging time have i ever told you i adore you hey it's three o'clock it's hug it's hugging time yeah the wives they go out and they stick their fucking huge asses and tits out of the window and ring a bell. Tugging time. Number 33, kiss her in the rain. That's not romantic to me.

Yeah, that's wet and scary. You could get a disease if you're in the rain for too long. I need to be dried out to even have the blood flow moving to my penis. Number 34, do everything she loves doing and support her every day. Seems like a bit much. That's a bit sus. Yeah. Always keep a short distance or you will get up in the friend zone.

I'm trying to not get friend zoned by my wife right now. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to be too nice to her. Number 35, take her to the place you met in the beginning of it all. Sounds like the subtitle of like a third action movie in a series. Yeah. Here's where not. Domino's.

The beginning of it all. Take her to the place you met in the beginning of it all. Number 36, make love to her. There we go. Yes, that's what I really want. Number 37, drive in. the drive-in is amazing did that for my first date with my girlfriend and halfway through the first movie fireworks at the fairgrounds next to the drive-in started going off and he started smiling and blushing which was so adorable

and make sure the movies are scary movies because she will scoot closer to you and you just wrap your arms around her and hold her tight and assure her that she is safe with you it works trust me so the whole thing with the movie you can get a blowjob at exactly yeah pretty much pretty sick actually kind of cut out i mean you you you can get a blow job who's the middleman in that situation middleman is the guy who is blocking your wife for blowing you The guy who's sucking your day at home, the middleman sits in between you. Sorry, baby. The middle man got here first. We got to cut them out. Let's go to a drive-in next time.

I hate regal cinemas. Would you get middle from a man? No, I would. My bitch gave you some fire-ass middle last night. Give you some of that middle hole. You know what I'm talking about. No, I don't. Number 38, climb a tree.

Tree climbing is so swagelicious. makes her and I happy. When she's happy, I'm happy. Love you, Natalia. Do you guys know I'm amazing at climbing trees? Yeah, I've seen you. That makes sense. I'm really good at it.

I can get to the top of any tree. How does that make sense? What the fuck does that supposed to mean? You're a monkey. Yeah. Wow. You would say that to an Italian. You are an ape's friend.

Not a friend. Mm-hmm. No. Number 39 text and tell her when you think of her. Every 10 seconds. Just thought of you. Just thought of you. Just thought of you.

Just thought of you right now. Just remember. I texted you already. Sorry. just thought of you again eating lunch eating lunch pooped my pants need help will you clean me up

911 911 911 911 911 40 go to go with her to the movies and eat popcorn oh you know what they're talking about when they say popcorn yeah I love eating my girl's popcorn because she's such a diseased fucked up vagina it's all bumpy and shit

it looks like popcorn down there yeah I say I love butter on that one I love your lizardy little pussy yeah can we get parmesan cheese on there oh I'm leaving number 42 go to six flags then tell her you love her on the top of the giant drop

that would be perfect number 43 if she fell to sleep on a couch or if she's tired bring her to the bed lie her down and wrap your body around her saying I love you it's a snake a snake would do that does that's what a snake would do move number 45 I've dim the lights, put on Marvin the gaze.

Let's get it on and make sweet love. That's true. That's a little obvious to me. That should have a number one. I don't think that's a good song to have sex with. Because songs that you have sex too should not talk about sex. Yeah. Because it's like an instruction book.

Yeah. You know? Then you're following IKEA instructions. Number 48, take or swimming. And we have kind of like a stand-up comedy, like sassy reply comment on this. Okay. If you read it and maybe like a Bill Burr voice or like. What too?

Bello. The local pool and watch soggy band-aids floating past each other Or a play game called Guess Which Person is using the pool right now Is urinating in the pool right now Oh, you're the one who can't read No, Bill Burke can't read it's a character I do It's the character who can't read Number 49, introduce her to your family

That's so romantic. That's one of the most romantic things you get with the girl I wish you looked like Can you look like this? Can you look like my mom and dad? Take her on a walk to the woods That's scary. Number 52, play video games together.

That's right. All I have is Call of Duty ghosts, but I think it'll work. The thing is women always want to play video games about depression. Yeah. Shut up. You do. You like playing those. No.

You do. No. You literally do. I literally do. You literally do. I like, I love awesome games about- Number 59, spend a rainy night in the backseat of a car with her. Be homeless.

Yeah. Just be homeless. Girls love it when the guys are homeless. I knew this guy. Patrick, would you lie with a homeless female? I would. I knew this guy who was, like, my youth pastor growing up, and he, I may have talked about this, but he, like, did this thing where he was like, I'm going to be, I'm going to support homeless people, here's what I'm going to do.

I'm going to be homeless for a week, and he just, like, took a tent downtown, and he made it, like, five hours before he was like, somebody tried to kill me. God damn. What a pussy. Yeah, he should have toughed out. I could do it for 10 years. I could live in a tent for 10 years If I had full heating and air conditioning

If I had Wi-Fi and electronics If I had Wi-Fi it would be over for And a TV in there Would you be homeless if you got a billion dollars from it? Yesterday we walked by a kid And around here who was wearing a t-shirt Like a little kid who's wearing a t-shirt That was the Wi-Fi logo

But though each of the bars had words in them And it said, what's the deal with Wi-Fi? What the fuck? That's a good shirt Is a crazy place The thing is, everybody's trying to be a comedian. Yeah, yeah. So you got kids working on his type five.

That's true. Listen, kid, that's the funniest shirt I've ever seen, but I'm kind of the comedian in this neighbor. Yeah, I'm the comedian. I'm going to drive you out of here. I'm that New York comedian. You have to leave. I'm that New York comedian with the funny-ass jokes.

I'm that New York comedian that talks about his parents. I'm that tiny little comedian you can't see on stage. Yeah. Spotlight can't find me. Yeah. Because I'm too small. I'm that invisible comedian. I'm that, I'm that tiny little comedian.

that uses the mic wire like a jump rope. What's, we should all, when standup comes back, we need to, we need to, I mean, it's different now. We got to come up with some characters, some characters to be doing on stage, you know, some funny kind of meta, like Neil Hamburger type of shit. They're basically, I'll be headlining a lot of shows as your tiniest homie. Yeah, true. I could be the prince.

Yeah. The Prince of Poppers. The Prince of Poppers. Yeah. That could be you. Yeah. Just shit sliding down my fucking leg while on stage. just about to pass out the whole time yeah that'd be good that might be a good idea i'm that tiny

ass homie who visits a crack in the sidewalk like it's the grand canyon do you think ants have like parts of the sidewalk that they think are cool yeah this is my favorite part this is my favorite ant hill kids are coming up on the best part of the sidewalk right now you think ants have playdates with each other oh i think ants have wives and sons yeah they have the queen the one queen is the one wife but do you know it's just other girl ants no but they don't they're not married but they get those are those single those are those single freak females they're getting a little side ant yeah a little side ant yeah or is the queen the side ant man man i'm trying to get some thorax from a side ant my side ain't got got that good ass thorax you got a good thorax that's some real

shit dude oh man oh man is it i'm trying to get some mandibles i mean look to see what an ant's penis I'm trying to get petapalps from a spider. Can you look it up? Can't look it up on the laptop? On what? An ant's penis. Ants penis? Do they have a penis?

No, they have sex with their minds. Yeah. Ants could be psychic. You could tell me ants use psychic. And I would say, yeah. And I would say yes. I would say science is true. I believe science.

Science is real. Oh, okay. Let me see. It's an ant hill in the shape of a penis. Did you search an ant's penis? Do ants have penis? Strangest creatures. That thing is pretty strange.

That's a penis. I don't think that ants have penises. Let's just look at penises for the rest of this episode. It doesn't really like it. What does that go up? It's Justin Bieber, where they circled his, like, crotch, and it says, a penis for ants? That damn. Zoolander shouldn't have said that.

Yeah, Zoolander kind of messed the game up with that. Zoolander went off when he said that Justin Vuey. Is this a school for penises? Is this a school? What is this a school for penis? Is this a school for my little penis? That's what he says when he has sex with a girl. What is this?

What is this? A vagina for penises? What is this college for my wiener? You like my wiener? It went to college. Yeah, I have the smartest wiener in the West. That's just some real shit, brother. Mm-hmm.

We're out of items on this list. Oh, damn. Yeah. That's all right. Let me get another beer. Yeah? Yeah. I think I might get another beer, dude.

All right, get another beer. Let's do a list of what's in Caleb's fridge. Okay. Eggs, yogurt, beer. A jar of dots. There's a jar of dots. There's a jar of dots. No, it's a jar of dots right there.

That's just a bunch of white dots. Jam, broccoli. A urn. What time are we at? A frozen condom. Eggs. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

We sped through this list. We spent through this list. Oh, yeah, we started at 10 minutes because you were crying. Oh, yeah, that's true. Why do you keep crying, Pat? Yeah, there we go. Get this. Oh.

The noise of beer. Hmm. Makes me so hungry for a beer sandwich. There's something delicious about the noise of beer. When you guys were kids, did you ever have the noisiest beer of all time? I don't think so. I always... I always thought that that was a...

You just don't want to have to finish the episode. Yeah. That's fine. He's gone. We can just do the rest of it. now we finally get to go on our date yeah hey hey what's your favorite song anything that you like anything that you like i like um the wheels on the bus okay i take it back yeah yeah i was trying to trick you i don't like that my favorite song my favorite song is uh changes by tupac that's

my favorite song is the that puberty song from the brady bunch i'm a fan of tig old bitties myself yeah tick old bitties is kind of my jam I'm a big fan of that Mortal Kombat parody rap. Tickle Bitties. You know, that's funny. It was the first song I ever heard. Yeah. That was actually the first one.

We did that on the last episode. It's funnier if you do it with Tiggle Biddy. If you do it every episode, it's funny. Yeah. If just any time, just for the rest of my life, and anybody says, do you like that song? I'll be like, yeah, there's actually the only song I've ever heard. It's really weird.

Patrick's on Mike in the bathroom. I'm in the bathroom. I'm taking so many pee. this is the noise of Patrick peeing Mm-hmm Pat is peeing on the ground right now Patrick's shaking up his penis to prepare to pee That's true

This is what it sounds like when Patrick jacks off Get out of your mom I'm trying to get I'm trying to start peeing soon I'm trying to start it I'm trying to get the pee to come to the end of my thing I'm trying to start it up What was the worst

Did you guys ever get Lying down in the night Next to Patrick and just hearing Did you guys ever get caught Jacking off off as a kid. No, I never did. What?

I got caught. I mean, I got caught with, like, porn in my search history, but I never got caught, like, jacking off. I got caught. I got caught my, I had a bathroom that did not have a lock on the door, and my little brother walked in, and he saw, he just saw me holding my penis and jacking off, and he's like, what the fuck you're doing? That's not how you pee?

I just panicked and said I was reading. I'm reading my penis. I was like, I'm reading the braille on my penis. You know, you play with your wiener while you read. to focus you know how you play with your thinking I'm a tactile learner

that's just how it is dude it's like a fidget spinner yeah yeah when it's your when it's your penis it's more of a midget spinner

oh are you serious would you take a midget for a spin Patrick I would yeah yeah that's that's

pretty much anything you've asked me I would do when's the last time you guys saw a midget then we saw a guy was really short yesterday he wasn't he wasn't

but he was very small though he was like he was like four feet tall from like a three quarter size version of Atlanta yeah he was like four eight he was next up of Atlanta for sure yeah

the funniest little person I ever saw was one time me and Alex got off the train in Boston and the doors opened we having like a really serious conversation about like his relationship problems yeah and the doors opened and we just saw like

a guy who was There's just a head On the ground Just a head Coming out of a puddle Yeah Excuse me He had like a voice

Laughter Patrick Laugh Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha All right Cancel Patrick You piece of shit He doesn't even think It's funny

Do you want to go get like a red bowl Or something Before we do D&D? Yeah we got to do some D&D action a little bit Fuck Yeah Or did snap

Yeah maybe We could just hop in my bed We could We could don't hop Yeah Yesterday Today, Caleb took a three-hour nap and locked us out of his house. It's true.

I gave you my keys. Yeah, we did have the keys. They didn't work. You gave us fake keys. You gave us the baby keys. Yeah. I'm handing you a thing of, like, a plastic toy key. And I'm like, okay, this one opens the front door.

This one opens the deadbolt. Yeah. And this one opens the toy chest. This is the tastiest one if you're going to suck on them. This is the best one for chewing on. Caleb locked us out of his bedroom when he was spending special time in there. He should let me sleep at the foot of his bed. We were scratching at the door and whining and he wasn't doing anything about it.

I tried sliding food under the door, but my pot roast was too big. It wouldn't fit. I got that tall-ass pot roast. Yeah. You're going to want to take a bite. I think he'd flat pot roast. I asked my mom to make the pot roast flat so I can slide it under my brother's door. Yeah.

So I don't have to talk to him. I think I do I have a huge gap in the bottom of that door we could slide some stuff if you guys want to like pass in each other stuff yeah can we

can we whisper under there at night yeah I can't hear everything you guys say at night that's kind of why did we say last night we didn't say that we didn't say that

that might have been the TV that was the TV yeah yeah you guys said do yeah we said eat my shorts we said dough we said yeah

we said Lisa I need some damn braces Is Lisa, I-Nisa. Homey. Homer. Homer. Do you think they're going to add a new character to the Simpsons soon? Yeah.

When the lady who does Bart dies, they're going to add Bart 2. And he sounds like this. I am Bartu. Oh. But then people think he's saying Bartow. Well, that's their fault. That's all right. The Simpsons is cerebral.

It's not my job to educate you about Bart. Yeah. Versus El Barto. Bart versus El Barto. The Battle of the Century. that's right wow carvel versus capcom

carvel carvel versus capcom like the cakes yeah just a bunch of ice cream fighting whatever capcom is that's pretty good man

how about carvel what about ice cream versus cookies okay they're doing a Marvel versus Capcom style fighting game but it's yeah it's candy versus cookies

what do you guys think yeah all right have a good day everybody everybody