Podcast About List - Ep. 119 - Kiss me like you love me suck me like you hate me

Episode Date: October 14, 2020

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You're listening to Israel's number one podcast. Podcasts to the ball list. You're really crap monster. Polish man, the Polish man, Polish man, I can walk backwards only way I can. I can walk backwards only way I can. There we go. There we go.

It's about Cameron. I think about Cameron. I think Freddie got fingered is a story about the Polish experience in America. Uh-huh. It's where. You find a treasure in the toilet. Yep. Yeah.

Uh-huh. You work at the cheese sandwich shop. Mm-hmm. The cheese sandwich factory. We know this because this is all things that are true about Cameron. You do say, Daddy, would you like some sausages? That is a pretty keystone part of the Polish experience. Yeah.

Yeah. Filbasa. Kilbasa. I like wearing this X-L. I like wearing this tall, XL tall sweater. Yeah. I look good. I think when you guys leave, I'm going to kill myself.

Really? Yeah. You're going to miss us too much? I'm going to be up at night. I'm going to. take my photos and I'm going to hold them in bed. You're going to go. You're going to take your photos? The photos that I

took of you guys while you were asleep. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and I'm going to hold them in bed and I'm going to look at it. You took a photo with me while I was asleep the other day and it woke me up. That'll wake you up. He put the flash right in my face. Shut up, you daffy duck motherfucker. Man, shut the hell up.

Man, you daft punk. You daffy duck motherfucker. You daft punk. Put some pants on, daff! I don't even think Daffy wears a shirt. Put a shirt on, Daffy! He ain't got no underpants on. I don't think he wears anything. Daffy, which draws.

Put him on. Nobody wants to see that tail. Yeah, they should be calling him naked duck. They should call him Laffy Duck, because that's what he makes me do. Yeah, he makes me laughy duck. Laffy duck. They should make him sadly duck. Sadly, dink.

And he wishes he was anything else. And you, and guess how he does things. Sadly. The same. The saddest duck. The saddest duck. I'm the saddest duck. I'm imagining a sad duck and it's almost bringing me to a tearful state.

He goes on, he dives underwater to catch a fish. He never comes back up. No. No. He's never coming up for air. All right. He's scrooge. He's sinking.

He's scrooge and he's scroge, he can't nobody help him. That's right. That's right. That's a spoiler for. something that's going to come out that's very fun yeah there you go pat he got out of lock today dude he's locking it down my game top of his game uh-huh he hit you with the backward with the polish man uh-huh yeah anything else you're gonna bust out a new impression today oh maybe yeah here's my impression donald trump in the restroom go don't trump at the hospital

Vomiting blood Yeah He's eating six meals Yeah By the time this comes out Donald Trump will be dead Yeah That's a TikTok Ben made

I'm dead What? I have to We gotta cut that one out That's a TikTok Ben made I just remembered Well you just say that then I'm not

I'm not doing anything else Diet Ben Loftus Guys we have to cut that out Guys we have to cut that out Guys we have to cut that out The Polish man Is actually I realized That was referencing

Freddy got finger Shut up You shut up You know what No one New impression to save it. This is my impression of

Alexander the bust. This is my impression of that guy. Caleb bought me because he thinks he looks like me. I didn't buy that. Your allegations the great. Allegations great?

Not true. Yeah. That's you. Not true. That's your name. Allegations the great. Allegations the great. Your allegations the great amount. Because all the album allegations is great, because all the allegations against me is that I'm a great guy. Nobody says that. People never say you're great.

Allegedly a great guy. People say I'm a great guy all the time. No. Who? What, your mailman? That's part of his job, you know, moron. He's trying to be he was a bitch. That's a working class hero you're talking shit about right now.

No? You ever give your mailman a Christmas present and he's ungrateful? Yeah. That happened to me with my mailman. Yeah, I got two packages for you, Melman. man. Yeah, we gave him a, Mr. Ritey and Fred. We gave him a Starbucks gift card, and he was like,

oh, just this? What the fuck, man? Oh, you only got me this? Yeah, it's like, look, you're a mailman. We shouldn't have got you anything. Here, mailman, I don't know your name. Put this blindfold on. He's also, he was, that male one was terrified of our dog,

who, my dog is like a, natural enemies, dude. But she's like a tiny little dog that's very, fat and long. You call him this male man a pussy? Yes. All right. Maybe we had the same mailman. Yeah, probably. Maybe you guys had the same mailman. Oh, you guys are brothers. I forget that. We lived in the same house with the same mailman. It's true. No, you weren't there when that guy knows. Neil. Neil was there. Neil had come over to my apartment and the mailman was yelling at us about the mail. Because we didn't check it for like two days. And he was like, hi. Yeah. You got to check your mail.

That's rude. Like, what? Caleb has it. Do you guys check it all? Recently, our mailbox outside, the door is like hanging off and sometimes it falls off. And the mailman, and it weighs like fucking a pound maybe. And a mailman recently, like I opened the doors. He was delivering the mail.

And he was like, you got to do something about this door. And I was like, what? He's like, your mailbox, the door fell off, could have killed me. I was like, what are you talking about? He's like, I'm just fix it, okay? It's dangerous. Yeah. Mailmen love to do shit like that.

They're just drama queens. Yeah, a mailman is like, it's like if you want to be a police officer, but then you fail out of firefighter school. Yeah. That's a mailman. It's like the lowest level of public service, really. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but I have more respect for mailmen. I have the most respect from Garbage Men because they do that job while high on drugs.

They do a stinky-ass job. Yeah. They do a stinky-ass job well as fuck. I love every mailman except for that one mailman I had in Austin. That guy. He just rubbed you the wrong way. He yelled at me. I'm sorry.

Caleb, I'm noticing you have opposable pinky toes. I have your pinky toes are sideways. Oh my God, dude. That looks like a baby's thumb. Yeah. What is going on? I don't know. It's literally turned sideways.

Pick something up with that. I have, you know what it is? I have extremely wide feet in my entire life. Did your feet get bound? Kind of by vans off the walls. Fans off the wall. That's not even one of the shoes they make. That's their logo slogan.

That's their slogan. They're slow-gone. They're slow-gone. No, but Vans old schools. I've worn them since I was a kid, and they have definitely, I've, my feet are too wide for them, but they don't make a wide version. Yeah, they do. So they've, well, not for me.

You just have to look. They don't sell it at journeys. Yeah, that's true. So they, they, they, my pinky toes on both feet are pretty much bent. All the ads for the fans had people wearing hair with hair in them. So Caleb thought these shoes. Wait, what the fuck's going on with Pat's fucking pinky toe? Look at that shit.

What, that one? Oh, it was, it was fucked up. It was fucked up a second ago. Wait a second. Yeah. You're not, you're not kidding. I'm just trying to get the heat off of me now. Oh, look that weird thing out.

You guys just missed that. Give me your hand. Ugh. Oh, dude. Can I smell this? Wow. What does Patrick's feet smell like? It smells like the store.

It smells like, it smells like a zambonied floor. Smells like the store. Yeah. It smells exactly like the store. Where you been, boy? You've been walking around the store Barefoot? Have you been around the store again? I might.

Don't play coy with me, you white bitch. I might be going in the store sometimes. To do what? I know it's not working. It's some shopping. For what? With what money? With your money?

I knew it. Patrick's been taking my money and shopping at the store. And shopping barefoot at the store. You know what we didn't? I go to the only store in Ridgewood that's shirt, no shirt, no shoes we'll give you service for the last one. That's right. No shirt, no shoes.

You don't have a shirt on? You don't have a shirt on? Get out. But if you don't have shoes on, we love you. Barefoot is legal. I didn't turf up this hardware store so people could wear shoes in here. Yeah, yeah. You walk in to the sand. That's what I hate about Chinese restaurants is it make you take your shoes off when you walk in. It's not good. Come on, man.

Yeah. You're killing me this week. It's so offensive that Chinese people take shoes off. Everybody's going to be so mad. You're crazy offensive material. Oh, that's some offensive stuff, really. God, I'm offended. I'm actually, I'm the triggered one.

That's what people know about me as the host, is I'm the trigger. You're the lonely triggered stoner. I'm the triggered soft boy. Yeah, you are. You're a soft boy. You are sensitive. I'm the sensitive. I'm the sensitive.

A lot of people don't know that Pat's sensitive. Yeah He's sensitive as hell So sensitive Shut up And I'm shy You're not shy I'm shy

I'm shy He said Prove it Oh you're shy Prove it Here I'll be a new I'll pretend I've never met you Hey man nice to meet you

I'm Derek Jeter I'm not Hey man I'm just one of the I'm just one of the girls You're the most famous Yankee No The most famous Yankee

was Baby Ruth General E. Lee. No, he was the other one. He was a confetti. You're thinking of Ulysses S. Grant. Yeah, Ulysses S. Grant. You let me sex,

you let me sex, Grant? That's, I'm allowed, I'm, if I know any more than that about the Civil War, I'm in big, dude. I'm in Bantaputu, so I have to just, I have to feign ignorance.

Ulysses S, what's his name? Huh? Who dat? What? Yeah, who dat? Yeah I don't know What was his

weak spot On his body His Ulysses heel Yeah you studied his Ulysses heel I studied his ulysses heel I studied as he ever comes back Yeah Just a case

I'm gonna put you back Sex with women That was my heel You have Well that's because you're a descendant of him I have hundreds of heels Yeah Yeah my Achilles heel is pretty much

Anything Yeah Pretty much anything that'll kill me Probably like my nose Yeah my Achilles heel My Achilles heel is getting hit by a car If somebody hits me in the nose, I'm out for a little bit. My Achilles heel is snacking.

My Achilles heel has got to be the crudgy Cheetos. Yeah, my Achilles heel takes me down. One hits, probably getting my leg stuck in the lawn. Yeah, probably getting laid out and Maliwopped on the street. Yeah. It would probably be catching on fire. What was that thing? That thing that I found?

God, it was some fucking tweet responding to the New York Post. Oh, yeah. I witnessed Rick Moranis get his jaw slid for no reason. The city's wild, dude. I witnessed Rick Moranis get his jaw slid for no reason is, like, the most insane sentence. The guys who, the best kind of dude right now are the ones who can't stop replying to news stories about crime in New York saying, like, well, there goes the city, it's going to be the 70s again. Yeah. There's going to be babies holding guns.

It's like, fucking, I hope so. Yeah. I hope everybody talks about how the 70s, New York was the cool New York. Let's go back, dude. They're going to bring the Velvet Underground back. They're going to put graffiti language on the subway. They're going to put graffiti language on my body like a tattoo. It's funny that if you own a van in New York City, it just covered in graffiti.

There's nothing you can do. Work van, fuck you. Exactly. That's why you get somebody to preemptively do it. Yeah. Yeah, but what if your shit's toy? What if you got like, no graffiti slang? What if the shit you get on in his toy?

What if it's toy? What if it's toy? What does toy mean? Toy means bad, graffiti. Toy is what it means? Toy is the... They teach you that in Tony Hawk's Underground, too. I didn't learn that shit.

All the guys who spray around the city in Berlin, they're all toy. I don't think so. I bet it means gay. I think so. Let me look it up. It probably means gay. Look that up on the graffiti dictionary. It probably is a contraction of tugging boys.

A toy, otherwise known as a palm. is an unskilled or new, inexperienced graffiti artist or writer. I'm really good at graffiti. Toy tags and pieces are usually crossed out with the word toy or crossers tag around it. I had graffiti stuff all the time, though. My tag is the sadd, the saddest clown into world. It's really a long tag. Mine is White Boy Universe.

I spray paint galaxies. Yeah, I'm the Italian galaxy. The Italian galaxy. Galaxy is good. I could expand your mind. I'm hip hop the kid. Oh, so all the, all the graffiti stuff is named after chess pieces. I graffiti a jack in the box on the wall.

You can be a knight, a king, a queen, a pawn, a board, or a toy. Some of my graffiti are, I'll graffiti a jack in the box, but it's Donald Trump on the end of it. And it says whack in the box. Yeah. And then I sign my tag, hip hop that kid. That hip-hop kid, lonely. Yeah. That lonely hip-hop kid.

That hip-pop son. That, yeah. Lonely-ass little white boy. That lonely. That lonely-ass little white boy who cries all the time. Yeah. That's my graffiti name. That lonely-ass little boy with a big sweater.

Maybe we should just... And he hides in it, like a turtle. Is there a lot of money in graffiti? Yeah. You do it for the love of it. You do it for the... You do it for the fumes. The love of the paint fumes.

I just love those paint fumes, dude. Oh. Have you guys ever looked at a graffiti and thought, How the hell that guy get up there? But then you read the tag, and it says Spider-Man. Yeah, and it says, oh, yeah. And it says, it says that 30-foot-tall hoaguer. The 30-foot-tall guy.

Yeah, we were walking around. We saw us, and said, fuck me. It said, no, no, it's it. I know it. Let him talk. Okay. Yeah, but you can go ahead and say a worse version of it if you want. It said, it said, kiss me like you love me.

Fuck me like you hate me. And written on the top. You read that out loud, and I thought you were just saying it to Neil. Fuck me like you hate me. It's really good, yeah. You know how when you hate someone, you fucked them really good? You fuck them the best way you can. I hate you, bitch. Let me fuck the shit out of you forever.

I'm going to fuck you. I'm going to fuck you and get married. Yeah. Yeah, I hate my dad so much. How do I get back at him? I'm going to fuck him really good. Like another episode where we talk about that Ariaster movie. Yeah, dude, he's just, he's beefing.

Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah, I'm beefing with my dad right now. I've got a pretty serious beef going on with my dad. Yeah, I'm beefing with my dad. He won't let me pound him out. Yeah, he won't let me beef him. I assume to show me the birds and the bees.

I just want. He said, I'll tell you guys. No, show me. I want my dad to show me his pie bird, make it scream. His pie bird. Uh-huh. Make it scream. I feel like pie birds, I feel like they only have, well, they have them here, obviously,

but I feel like it's just a British guy thing. British guy thing? Yeah, I feel like British guys fuck pie birds all the time. I feel like American Pie would be a lot different of a movie if there was a pie bird in there. That's, yeah, it'd be fucking,

you'd be sticking his dick in a bird. There'd be a perfect hole. Did you guys ever fuck a fruit? Did you know that they're making a girls? No, I never fucked a fruit. This is not a joke. Patrick did, though. He didn't answer. I don't have to answer.

He did. He did. They were making an American... Patrick fucked a durian. I did fuck a durian. Yeah. It's the... It smelled like home.

Smells terrible, but I'm going to be so good at eating pussy once I finally do it. Once I finally find a pussy that's covered in spikes. I'm going to be so good at this. I'm going to be so good at holding my nose while I eat pussy. They're making an American Pie, a new American Pie movie, all girls. They're making a female reboot of American Pie. Who's the girl, Sean William Scott? It's called American Pie Girls Rule or something.

It's a fucking, that's a dire of a wimpy kid of subtitle. Let me look this up, because it's got the girl from the two, three, fairy movie in it. Madison Pettis. The little girl from the Rock Tooth Fairy? Is she the new Sean William Scott? Girls Rules. She's Shana Willa Scott Alita. Scott Alita.

Now that it's senior year, Anna, Kayla, Michelle, and Stephanie band together to harness their girl power to get what they want. Wait, when did it, that comes out tomorrow. Are you serious? October 6. Really? Uh-huh. Oh my God.

Yo! I don't know what I do tomorrow. We gotta watch this movie. I'm gonna go see that shit. oh my god we gotta go see that in a theater they're doing a girl they're doing a girl all girl alien versus predator yeah the xenomofs are all women me show the xenomofs xenomofs xenomovs xenomovs are all women women and they all got boobs do they under those thingies uh yep finally alien versus predator is so good because they just set it in an antarctic aztec temple for no reason they're just like yeah you know what

we should add to the you know alien versus predator that's not not enough we should have it take place in out of the Millennium puzzle from Yu-Gio. Yeah, you know, that's the only way we can make this movie work. You know that climate that the Aztecs lived in. Yeah. Yeah. The ocean. Yeah. The coldest ocean. The coldest ocean. Malcolm in the middle had a lot of those. They had a lot of cold oceans. They were the lonely Mexicans.

Yeah. They were the sad. The lonely Mexicans. Yeah, they were the lonely Mexicans. And they lived in Antarctica. Yeah. And they were the sad boys. Yeah. They were Sad Boy Loco. Sad Boy Loco. Yeah. Sad Boy, Laker. That's some real shit. Last night, last night, I was lying awake, and I told you killed this already.

I was lying awake. I was lying awake. You know, you know how they discovered that you have taste buds on your balls, specifically you, Patrick? Yeah. But, like, just imagine being like, it's how I know. Imagine being the scientist who had to sit in a lab and just. Your chin tastes so good. Never mind.

Imagine being. No, never mind. No, never mind. It's okay. Patrick wants to tell us. Imagine being a ball sack. Is that what you going to say? Imagine being a weird ball sack.

Imagine being a ball sack and tasting me. I was tickling you. Oh, my God. I was tickling you, dude. Imagine being a ball sack and just being like shorts, shorts, shorts, cereal. Okay. All right.

I like, oh, shorts, you can't fuck. Imagine being the scientists who had to sit in a lab all day and just look at balls in a microscope to see if they had taste bones. I feel like we're going to slowly find out the balls have even more features. It's just what you look for. There's a little man. There's a wean demo tape, like a bootleg. that's called Craters of the Sack.

You want to put your wean in a bootleg? I would. I would do that. Don't tempt me. Put your wien in my bootleg. Should we try tasting stuff with our balls? Do you want to do that on Mike right now? Kind of.

All right, pause it. What do I have that we could even dip our balls into? We can put it on a monster. That's empty. I could vape and then blow it on my balls. Yeah, you could. Yeah, do it. But I, someone else would have to blow it.

Peptobismol, let's go. Put some peptobismol on your ball. balls. What if it tastes so good, though, and I get addicted. You get addicted to the taste of

pepto in your balls? Like, what if it tastes different? What if it's like tomato juice on a plane? You know how the, the air pressure makes it taste different?

What if it's like Pepto on your balls? Imagine that movie. Tomato juice on a plane? Yeah. Do it? I'm tired. I'm tired of this.

I'm tired of this. I'm tired of these motherfucking tomatoes on this motherfucking I'm tired. Now say you're tired of the juice. No. Now say that, Patrick.

No. Say it. Say that. I'm tired of drinking so much juice. Okay. Now, let's get a different read on it. Let's try a different take. Let's try it a different way.

I'm tired of the Juis. The Juis. What kind of person is that? The Juis? No. No. Whoa. What?

Is that a person? I'm tired of my nagging Juees of a little. But you can't say that, Patrick. Why? You can't say that about your wife. She's listening. She better not. If you're listening right now, you're supposed to be plugging your ears and going,

La La La La La La La La La La. Pat is going to do a Disney channel show about him and his twin called Hitler, Hitler. Why did you guys make me say this? Now everyone's going to get mad at me. Everyone's going to be mad. It is really funny to imagine someone. being, like, mad at you for just talking about Hitler. Yeah.

Mad of me. I wouldn't be able to handle him, too. You know, if you say his name three times, he wakes up. You get able to handle it because I'd be trying to defend him. Everybody starts laughing. Yeah. If you, you know. He's just sexy.

He's sexy. Come on. I don't think Hitler's sexy. Let me clarify. Not anymore. I'm just, I'm doing a joke. It's too old, you know? It's like seeing young pictures of Betty White, and you're like, what's up, Ma?

Oh. And you're like, oh. Now she says she says, shut the fuck up, motherfucker all the time. Come on. She says it to me. And she says it to me. Dude, I mean, I mean, wedding singer, that old lady rapping. The rapping granny?

That was fucking huge for Betty White. She was like, I might still have a career. Maybe I could say something nasty and naughty. Maybe I could just talk about my wop. Dude. It's a wop for sure. White-ass. White-ass person.

White-ass petty. Yeah, that's right. It's crazy that, yeah, that she made a career from being that nasty-assie. grandma there's like a there's like a joke in like the second season of 30 rock like 2008 or seven or whatever and she's like uh they like check to see if she's dead and i was like she's just been doing this forever i know just like you just been this old the oldest bitch in the world yeah for like 30 years she's gonna die like she could be dead in november you think so yeah lock it in there you send that in the power dude i've been doing i've been doing a lot of us

talking to the devil recently i've been I've been talking to the devil a lot of talking to the devil. What has he been saying to you? He'd been saying some nasty things. The devil got a potty mouth. Yeah. He actually, no, the devil doesn't like the curse words because then he has to act upon them. Like, if somebody says, fuck you, the devil's

like, yeah, I think the reason that nothing has happened in the past couple thousand years since the big civil war in heaven is, uh, what? You guys never seen the prophecy with Christopher walking? No. There was like a, it said there's like a civil war in heaven. So what does that have to do with fuck you? You say fuck you and the devil says.

You say fuck you and the devil's like, I'm not dealing with that right now. That's not what you said. What's he busy with? He's, there's too many people. This is the hall of your imagination right now, bro. I swear to God, there's a fucking gas leak in here or something. I've been fucking loopy since I got here. That'd be loopy.

I'd be loopy. You're just with your funny-ass friends. I do. It does make me... It does make this a lot easier. Yeah, when you're loopy? Yeah. You can kind of just turn the mics on and be weird for a little bit.

Watch this. That's not weird. That's just scary. Sorry, sometimes I confuse weird and scary. The terrifier. The terrifier is nowhere inside. I caught the holy terrifier. I caught the holy terrifier.

He's wholly terrifying. I hate when I get caught. When I catch the Holy Terrifier. Yeah. I started doing claws with my hands. Yeah, chasing people around the church, like Tom and Jerry. He's chasing an old woman on to see. That would be a great gig.

Getting, being the devil at an evangelical church. Yeah. And being, getting paid to get exercised. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. That'd be good. Dressing up like Tim Curry from legend.

Yeah. And showing up at church and just like, I'm here to fuck all of you. I'm going to suck your dick, mister. I'm going to fuck something. So you're getting fucked. Oh, ha, ah. Oh.

What are you doing with your hat? Oh, I'm fine now. And then once you get exercised, you turn into Nigel Thornberry. Yeah. They put you behind a curtain, take all your prosthetics. Smashing. Yeah. Oh, smashing, Darwin.

That was the boy's name, right? The boy's name was... Darwin, and he pulled up his pants and did the wedgy dance, right? Patrick calls his son, darling. He was that monkey-ass son. Oh, yeah, they had a monkey-kid. Yeah. They had the monkey kid, but I'm not thinking, I'm not thinking of that guy.

He was the missing link that he was adopted. They found him in the jungle, and he was the missing link, and they were like... Wait, no, because there was an anthropomorphic guy. What? Most guys are anthropomorphic. That's what? Anthropomorphic guy outside. Yeah, there's just an anthropomorphic guy.

anthropomorphic guy that's been sitting out in front of my house I remember there's a girl speaking of which if anyone does furry art can you hit us up what I don't remember I'd vaguely remember talking about this but I don't remember why we need it we need it I can't talk about it right now was this at like 5 a.m. was this one of those? No we talked about it like oh yeah yeah yeah yeah it does have to do with yeah we yeah if you draw furry art it's probably too late by the time this comes out to be honest yeah it'll probably already be out someone will probably make are you By the way, if you draw furry art, keep it to yourself.

Do not send it to us. Wait, are you guys planning a birthday gift for me? Yeah, we are. Your birthday is in the next few weeks. No, so? It's never too early to get started on Caleb. It's always too early to get started on Caleb. Not.

Yeah. Also, Christmas is coming out. That's like kind of my birthday. That's true. Christmas is the Lord's birthday, you shit. No. Not to me. Who's the Lord to you?

Not anymore. Yeah, after your conversion? No. Well, yeah, now that I'm a Muslim I wasn't going to say Muslim, I was going to say Scientologist, but you said Muslim with such contempt in your voice, Patrick. What are you talking about?

Patrick is Hitler. I'm not Hitler. What's it like? Do you like being Hitler? I hate it. Have you seen the clown? Have you seen the clown that hides from Hitler? Yes.

You have? What, did you kill him because of his race? You fucking Hitler, motherfucker. Yeah, because he was Irish. No. It's funny that basically, because we're recording these in just a few days, just all the stupid jokes that we'll get tired of in, like, ten hours are just yet. Three weeks of... Yeah, we're going to get so tired.

We're going to get sleepy. Oh, I'm going to get sleepy. I'm already sleepy now. Tell you that much. Yeah, I don't know, I don't know what it is about. Every time I come to New York, I just like... It's just whenever you leave your, whenever you travel. Yeah.

Yeah. You're just not a road dog. If I travel by, like, car, if I travel by car or, like, bus or anything like that, it sucks. But, like, I'm a road dog. By plane, you fucking idiot. And when did you last travel by plane? By a giant cruise ship. To L.A., right?

And you felt like shit in L.A. as well. I remember it vividly. Yeah. Okay. You know what? It is every time I travel. He slept in a trash can. Okay, but also he said he was going to cry.

Yeah, you know, I did feel the exact same way that I did the day we went to Jolly Beach. Yeah, I remember it. You were at work, but he was having a really bad time and I gave him my salad because I felt bad. Yeah. Because I asked if he wanted anything and he said, no. And then he started crying. You're a sweet friend. I'm a sweet friend.

He's, he's, he's, Cameron's one of my best friends. Cameron puts on this facade. You have to, you have to level up. I have to level up. You have to level up your friendship. You can have this if you want. You just got these. That's how good of a friend I am.

Wow, Jana's going to be mad. You can have both of them, Patrick. Patrick. Wow. Chill, just, you, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too. Shh. Patrick, you can have both of the bar stools. I can have both of the bar stools and you're giving them to me, Caleb?

You can have Cameron You already have Prima nocta? Prima Nachta Yeah You can fuck them out You're in my house My house

Daddy's rules You get to fuck Cameron And you get to show them Pleasure Well the pleasure men Are gonna love this Let's do the Pleasurement again Yeah

God damn That is Okay yeah Guys that's a new character You can tweet it that Instead of just talking about The Grinch Or like your cousins or something

Start talking about The Pleasuremen's ball Pleaserman's ball. Because that's the next big thing. It's going to catch them. Put all your money on the Pleasureman. Yeah. Bet it all on black.

Bet it all on the black Pleasureman. The black Pleasureman. What? You said that. Who said that? It's an inclusive gloop. They make inclusive gloop. Yeah.

Yeah, they spray out gloop. Yeah, man. They're saying, at the Pleasureman's ball, if you don't get glooped. If you don't get glooped in the Pleasureman's ball. Okay, new t-shirt. I got glooped at the Pleasureman's ball. ball. And all I got was just gloop all over my face. And all I got, and all I got was my puffy eight. I got my puffy eight out. I did, I did get my puffy eight. Do my knuckles still say

eat pussy, eat pussy, eat pussy. It's, no, I gave Caleb knuckle test to say, E, E, E, A T-T-P-U-S-Y. Yeah, and you're going to hate the tattoo I put in the center of his forehead. Yeah. A bunch of L's. Uh-huh. Yeah. It looks cool. Because he takes so many. Yeah, you took four else. Yeah, you took four LLs. Charles. Charles Manson took four L's, dude. Yeah.

Nees to take more, because that thing is a bad look. Yeah. Oh, we're at like halfway. Let's start the list. Oh, shit. I forgot we had a list. It sometimes is hard having so much fun.

I know. Top 10 best comebacks. Yeah. We didn't do this before, I don't think. We did the top 10 comebacks to being called gay. Uh-huh.

So now these are comebacks for being called straight. Yeah, we almost did top 10 best comebacks to being called fat and Pat vetoed it. I didn't veto. You guys, we could have done it if we did do it. No, we totally.

No, we could have done it. It's fun. He'd vetoed it. You guys, I would have done it if you guys had... If it wasn't freedom-meddling kids. What the fuck? What? Was that you farting?

Was that the chair? I think that's a noise outside. That's what I do. That sounds like something escaped you. That sounded like you sat on something and it just got out of you. Sometimes I get nasty at home. Let's do the list. A frog crawled out of his ass

Yeah Number one No we have to start out with the insult We have to, it's comebacks Exactly Oh So you're a bald-ass bitch like Squidward Respect

No you're supposed to get through the comeback Look at his Look at you blue motherfucker Look at this blue Squidward guy Hey man I'm sorry You must have mistaken me For somebody he gives a crap Yeah go back to your ass

The top comment on this is from Luckies And it says I don't use comebacks Because I'm the nicest person you'll ever meet That's what I tried to do right then That's the ultimate comment Somebody says Yeah you fucking suck

Your dick small Your wife hates you Hey man respect for that Big ups What was that video We just watched it It was like I'm trying to follow the Lord

The best I can And not partake in your In violence That's what I do Someone just beating the shit out of me. I'm winning because I'm not doing anything back. Yeah. I'm turning my other cheech. Yeah.

I'm turning the cheech. Doge Life 4 gaming comments. Number one should be your mom gay. That's true. Big facts. Your mom gay. Your mom gay. Number two. Hey, Cameron. Yeah. You, hey.

Say it an insult. That's my insult. Say an insult. You want to be quite too much. All right. Say it again. Say it again. You play too much. Stop calling yourself. hot. The only thing you can turn on is the microwave. What?

What? What is it? What is you saying? That's how I do. If I ever encounter a heckler, God save their fucking soul. If you ever encounter a heckler? I ever enchant a heckler. I ever enchant a broadsword.

That's my first move. Second move, just cry instantly. Yeah. Next. You said Wait, wait First I point to myself And I go

Me? And then I look behind me To see if there's another guy And then I go You talk to me You must be talking to me Because they're doing else Am I done?

I got some bad thoughts in my head R2G is gay What You didn't like it? I just start going I tricked them into thinking that I'm going to cry so then they let their shields down I possess them

and I do something a little weird and then I take their body over and I say I have to go to the bathroom I have to go to the bathroom to suck on my own poop yeah Peace out. And then I drop the mic on stage. I drop the mic on stage.

But then I have to tee pose as I take over his body while I go suck a shit in the bathroom. So it really confuses everybody else in the audience. It's basically a really cool old comedy set. Yeah. Shin. Number three. Doing a cool section. Caleb has to do in his whole Patrick now.

You pitch. Yeah, you look like you fell out of a unicorn's butt. Kind of dude today. But. Yeah, you do. But. A butt. You look like I'm the butt

You look like you fell out of a unicorn's butt You look like you fell out of a unicorn's butt Why don't give him the credit of a unicorn? Yeah You know Well, okay, okay It's like you fell out of a guy's ass You look like Ace Ventura with the rhino

Ace Ventura with the rhino He pulled up with the rhino His Ventura pulled up with the rhino With the PS2 in it Mm-hmm Rino with the PS2 Dude Yeah

Can you imagine Do you imagine? Do you imagine If a rhino could play PS2 Someone has to insult me now Okay Hey bitch, you smell like a bitch If I'm ever drunk You'll be good looking

Oh We got drunk on Friday Guess so you look to me We got drunk together And you looked about as good enough to eat To eat me I'd take you to frown town You make me frown

I make you frown like there was no other choice You make me frown listen listen we're gonna get drunk we're gonna get drunk i'm gonna give you zero options what that's just the facts of the matter zero zero okay all right that's a better comeback uh moving on uh yeah that just happened um so that just happened. And now for something completely different. Hey,

Hey, Cameron, you're a, you're a pussy eating you'd have pussy eating white boy. Where did you get that, where did you got those clothes at the toilet store? This is, uh, this, I know what this is from. I do look like one of those, I'm dressed like one of those cakes. This is from brick from Anchorman. Oh. Yeah.

Here's a comment on here that says, I laughed at this from Dark Boy X. I would shop at the toilet store You have to get a toilet You have to get a toilet Where am I supposed to get a toilet? And if they have clothes at the toilet store I like to support

It's called a two for one Small business Yeah There's a small business order Mysor myself You welcome to my toilet store Hey Patrick You got

You're the one You're that big bouncy freak I'd like to pop with a needle And to see what's growing Inside you pregnantly Pregnantly Come back time You have to do a baby.

I know, but... Come on. Okay, I'll say it again. You're that big, bubbly... You're that big bubbly. You're that big bubbly guy with a thousand babies in there. I just want to look in with an x-ray scope and check out their features. You rise and you shine.

That's what it says. That's number six. And the only comment says, I don't get this one? Yeah, me neither. I don't either. You rise, what could that mean? Maybe like, you're this, you're my son. Yeah.

Oh, okay. Is that true? You rise and shine. You rise and you shine. You rise and you shine and you blow my mind. Oh, okay. No, it's a new song I'm doing. New sensitive gangster song.

You rise and you shine. Take off that makeup. You look like a clown-ass bitch. You look like a penis. Take that makeup off, you trollop, you cunt. Trollope. That's what, uh, John McCain said his wife in the car.

Yeah, take that makeup off. You look like a trolloping cunt, I think. You trolloping ass, cunt, you look so. Trolloping? He said something, maybe. You are trollup. Trollope as a, as an adjerk. Trollope as adjurt.

Is that an adverb, I-N-G? Go back to school of rock. Fuck, what the, Jackie Black. Jackie Chan. Jackie Chan. teaching me school of how to break a rock. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, school of, school of cock, cock that fist back.

School of cock-foo. You say cock food? Do you learn cock-food if it was a thing? Yeah, dude. Hey, Caleb, you think you would learn cock-food, but all you're doing is learning cock is food. Don't you forget about me? More like I will forget about you,

and simple minds will sue you for covering their song. That was a stretch That's a little bit of a stretch That's a little bit of a stretch That one works That one works as a comeback to one very specific thing Yeah Which is

Why would somebody be like Hey Don't you forget about me You're gonna forget about me Don't you Hey don't you forget about me I'm just a kid And life is a nightmare

Yeah Hey I woke up at seven Went to bed at seven Woke up at 11 Waiting for somebody to call Yeah you would wish.

What's new Scooby-Doo? You're thinking of a different band, Cameron. Hey, Cameron. You're thinking of a simple plan, not simple minds. Hey, Cameron, I got beef with you. Simple. I thought that said simple plan. I'm trying to beef with Cameron.

That's a really funny name to have for your band. Simple minds. Yeah. Didn't age well. Yeah. Yeah, we're the fucking dummies. Hey, Cameron. Yeah.

Nice pants. You're a girl. These are women's pants you have on. If I throw a stick, would you leave? You're a dog I'm a dog Okay I just got it Wait okay

Now there's a little script here Of what happens when you use this comeback So we're gonna I'll be kid and you be me Okay And the script If I throw a stick Would you leave

Dude I'm not a dog Bullie assassinated Yeah Bully exterminated That's the best way That's the best way to come back to a comeback You know someone's like

Hey if I wanted my comeback I'd wipe it off your mom face and they say, dude, you're not having sex with my mom. Yeah. You're making that up. Yeah. Dude, I'm not a dog. You're a liar. What's it like to be a liar? What's it like to be a liar? And your parents know you're a liar? Your parents know that you lie to me? Yeah, I don't come down to your job and knock the lies out of your mouth. Yeah. Have you seen the clown that hides from the guy who lies to his friends and breaks their heart? You see the, yeah. Have you seen the clown? Like, you're breaking up with someone. Have you

Have you seen the clown that hides from someone who broke my heart? Have you seen the clown that only shows himself to the sensitive thugs of the world? Because I have. Me too. Yeah. Have you? What? Have you seen the clown that only shows up to the porno freaks and the pleasure men?

Yeah. The porno. Would you throw it back on a porno freak? Have you seen the clown in my neighborhood? He's funny. He's hilarious. Oh, I just remember when I went to community college in Laconia, There was a clown outlet.

Clown outlet? There's a clown supply store. Did you go? In that fucking town. I never went, but her name was like... Did you go to the store? Her name? Whose name?

The clown? The woman's clown. The woman's clown? The woman's clown? I got to look up the clowns supply store. Is that what you're saying? She was a clown. She's not a woman.

She's a clown. Yes, that's what I'm saying. But she owned it. She would dress up as a clown and would sell you a car. And let me tell you, she owned it. She was a clown, and she owned it. She was a clown, she owned it all the way. I think she just moved to, she moved to her store to Pennsylvania.

The clowning. Yeah, clown capital. Yeah. Clown capital of the USA. Yeah, there's a huge up-and-clumbing, clown-climony. Clown community there. Up and clowning. I think maybe you did leave the oven on again.

Yeah. Because I can't fucking think. Yeah, I'm sure it's not that we're tired and haven't eaten except for eggs in the morning. Mm-hmm. And chorizo. Simplicity, the clown. Simplicity, the clown? Clown names and stripper names, oddly similar.

Yeah. Yeah, crystal pussy, the clown. Yeah, divine. Bubba Sparks would be a good clown name. Yeah. He makes stripper music. He's not a stripper. True.

Yeah. D.U. Pain. Those are rappers. Those aren't. Genuine? You're just getting into rap. I fell in love with the stripper.

That makes you. you a stripper. Yeah. That's a clown-ass thing to do. Hey. Those are my clown-ass partners do that. Yeah. Hey, Patrick.

What's up with that, with your stanky thing? Hey, if you hate this, I'll hate you. These don't make any sense. This is dropping off fast. Okay, wait. No, this next one's pretty good. Okay. Whose turn is it to be insulted?

Hey, Caleb. You didn't answer my question. You're singing. It's beautiful. I'm not going to go there Say an insult I can't insult that You can't make fun of this beautiful voice

I can't even insult that as a joke Hey Caleb Yeah Yeah What's up Your voice is wild My voice is too You still come back

I don't I'll just write I'll just read it Autotune makes you sound like a computerized voice But I mean my voice is naturally beautiful. The only comment on this one is, I should use this one on my sister.

Yo, sis. Auto tune makes you sound like a computerized voice. When you do Autotune, you sound like a pewter. You sound like the family computer. You sound like Adele. You sound like Adele. Yeah, you sound like Adela. That's right.

You think you sound like Adele, you sound like Adele. You sound like Adele. Yeah. Adele from 90. That's running Windows 98. That's right. That's just the dial-up, and that's what you sound like when you sing. You sound like a dial-up modem going on.

You sound like dial up. Yeah, you sound like Chris Delia. You sound like Christa Leah right now. You sound like... Why you cocking that eyebrow up, girl? You ain't Christolean?

You sound like Chris Delia. You're saying some nasty things to a 15-year-old. Yeah. Chris to see ya. Buddy, bye-bye. Yeah. Because you're not playing our... You're not going to come on our podcast.

Mr. Pedophile. Chris de pedophile. What should call it? Christopepidophile. Yeah. They should do that. Christophilia. Christophilia kids.

Chris DeFielio kid. Okay. Mr. Christophilio damn kid. Mm-hmm. Hey, Patrick. People are always riding around on lime scooters. I'm just trying to ride a slime cooter. That's right.

Is that your insult towards me? No, I was just letting you know. Well, I think it's cameras turn to be insulted. Uh-huh. Hey, Cameron. You will never get to ride a slime cooter. Do you need some sunscreen because you just got burned? What?

Whoa. Somebody just being like, you're a fucking idiot. Do you remember when just burning was... Yeah, a list of burn centers in the United States? Yeah, there was... I remember my brother was like, I came up with a new burn. If someone burns you, you say, I just burned your burn. Pretty sure that's a third degree burn.

And then I explained on that that made no sense. And he hit me really hard. Yeah. Yeah, what are you? A piece of toast? Because you just got burned in my toaster. You used to have bread, now your shit's toast. You used to have bread.

Now that shit's toast. Toast. Dude, I'm a lyrical miracle. You used to, hey, Caleb, you used to have bread. Now that shit's toast. Nice wig. What's it made of? Your mom's chest hair?

That one's not bad for Cameron. Come on. See, if someone said that to me, it's like, yeah, my mom has beautiful hairless tits. Watch out. Top comment. This kind of made me laugh, but that's a gross comeback. This next one's really good. Hey, Patrick.

you're that ugly sucker I just said the next one's good you're not even going to read it Patrick's off the podcast No he did it Let's start it over I was building up It's called being in character

You're clearly not an actor You don't understand Like me and you Patrick Like watch this thing I made myself cry And people can see that right now People can see it

There's, oh my God, you have so many veins in your head. Jesus Christ, take a picture of, what the fuck? Okay, I'm having a dry day. It's just not happening for me today. Are you guys happy? Maybe I'm not the best actor in the world. Maybe I'm not the next Daniel Day, Louis. Daniel Day Clueless is that to you. Read the fucking thing. Daniel Day Clueless, is that... Wait, say it again? What was it?

Daniel Day Clueless, that's you. Listen, buddy, I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works. I'm guessing it's the gas I left on in the fucking oven. It could be that. It could be that I'm poisoning you. It could be that I'm poisoning you in my home. I'm poisoning you guys so I can take advantage of you. Yeah.

On the podcast. What? Taking advantage of your... Come on, man. What? You guys are laughing at anything. I'm taking advantage of that. What?

You got to hear yourself before you speak You take it to this nasty place Every time, Patrick yourself before you talk Yeah, you should be the one wearing these headphones Yeah Do you think I'd look cool? No Oh, okay

You would look like, these headphones on you Would look like a halo in a Renaissance painting Yeah, that's true That's an intellectual reference for my For my scholar For all the art fans For the scholarly gangsters Yeah, scholarly gangsta

Yeah, you wish you were a scholarly gangster, but actually you shit. I bet your brain feels as good as new seeing you never use it. I bet your brain feels as good as new seeing you never use it. Let me feel it? Yep. You're right. Yeah, I bet your brain feels as good as new seeing.

L.O.L. You had no brain. L.O.L. I love this one. That's definitely. That should be way higher than the fucking horrible ones. Yeah. Yeah. Like number seven or whatever? The one that's like, what are you doing? Hey, Patrick.

you're you're done for hey i should get one of those erasers that say they're for big mistakes and throw it at you yeah because that's how you erase shit what people don't realize about those is that the erasers don't work on your heart because who you are and who you love isn't a mistake that's real shit uh-huh people don't realize that about a lot of heart if i wrote your name amount of memories if i wrote your name on my heart would you fall in love with me yeah would you dance if i asked you to dance would you dance if i if i played your favorite song right now you know i'm such a fool for you you got me wrapped around your finger that let me tell you what that's like that's like that song cherry pie

when you realize what it's about like she's wrapped around his finger okay yeah i see you you scottish you have to get me fingered she's irish same shit to me fuck you I don't give a fuck. What the hell? I don't give a fuck. Disrespect. That's the same thing to me. The cranberries is all we have.

Yeah. And a lot of other stuff. That's true. But, yeah. What other things do the Irish have? List them. Drinking beer. Beer is honestly cool.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Drinking a lot of Guinness. Prone to depression. Mm-hmm. Are they? Yeah. Yeah.

They're those sad-ass lepricons that don't tell nobody. The leopard who I do. everything with the smile. I'm that leprechaun that hides my sensitivity with my rainbow. I put the key to my heart at the end of the rainbow. Everybody always asks me where the gold. Where's the gold? Nobody asks me to share my gold.

Nobody asks me how old I am. Nobody asks me. I'm a 15 year old lepricon. I'm a 15 year old lepricon. And girls keep trying to fuck me. Everyone's all concerned about the pot of gold. Nobody's concerned about the gold in my heart. Mm-hmm.

Whoa. My hot of gold. Everybody's worried about the pot of gold. of gold in my rainbow, nobody's worried about the spot of mold

in my apartment that is, that could be, that could be giving me allergies. Yeah, everyone's always talking about my

pilgrims hat. Nobody realizes I'm chill, not whack. Do Leperons have a pilgrim's hat? My green pilgrims hat

seems chill, not whack. Yep. Everyone's always concerned about my pilgrim's hat buckle. I just want to find a girl who will give me a good suckle. I just want to find a steady girl who will give me a good suckle. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. People always... Never mind. People are always texting me about the Grinch. They don't realize my life ain't a cinch Everybody's asking me the leprechaun About

What's at the end of my rainbow I just want to settle down with my main hoe I just want to sit at the window and watch the rain go Mm-hmm Mm-hmm everybody's always noticing my My charms Nobody's noticing my arms I've been going to the gym

Recently Everybody's always talking about my giant penis But nobody wants to look at my giant penis Nobody wants to be my guy on Krenas I got another email for the Krenas I got an email that said Are we talked about that on the podcast? Yeah, that only once in like on like episode like 40

It's some MMO that that cameras on a mailing list Yeah, I got an email that's yeah The first one was like it was like an MMO like like a beta That I got somehow got signed up for And I got an email that said see you on Krenas And now And I got another one a few days ago that said there are many life quality upgrades waiting on creanus.

I, we've all been waiting for that. I'm just waiting for creanis to hit kind of like, like it be as good as Earth. Yeah, and then I will move to, I'll head to creanus. Get me on creanus as soon as A.A. A.S.A. Creanis. Uh-huh. That's right. Yeah.

Do they have more insults? Oh, yeah, we got more. We got a lot more. Let's just pick out the good ones here. Yeah. Hey. Whoa, here's a good one right here. Hey, Cameron, why do you eat poop?

I'm busy right now. Can I ignore you later? No? No! What is this? Okay, so yeah, wait, wait, wait, here. I'll insult you, okay, ready? Cameron, basically,

I would be okay with you if you were gay. Gay? I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on. One idiot in my school kept calling me gay to annoy me, and then I used this comeback on him. I didn't really what this meant. I just found it on the internet And thought it would be effective

But then his dumb friend Told the whole grade what I said Thankfully when some people asked me What I said I lied to them And they believed me And the guy who blabbed To everyone now denies it

Barely anyone talks about it anymore I was only bothered by it For a few days By a few people Damn That's the whole insult Were you guys Were you guys word warriors

In middle school What does that mean Guys you were great with words Oh yeah I did organize Or no I think it was another boy who organized this in the fifth grade. You organized shit with a boy?

I do when I was in fifth grade. You let a boy organize you? I'm just going to not talk. I was more of a... I was more of a... I'm going to stop talking. Hey, Patrick. Can I finish what I was saying?

Hey, Patrick. No. You let a boy organize you. Talk to the hand. You can use the comeback. I'm setting you up for a good comeback. Nope, that was a real word for me. Talk to the booty, the hands off duty.

Mm-hmm. No, some kid in fifth grade, uh, because he had just watched your mom. He organized a... Unbuckle your pants. So they have to pee, and it's pushing against my... I don't mean buckle. We had a Yo Mama contest from like the show.

That's the best, yeah. And he was the Wilma of Alderrama, and I would just, every one of them I did was just like, your mama's so fat, she'd make you look thin. Nice. And it crushed. It crushed. Yeah.

One time my kid said, yo mama joke, and I punched him, and I beat him up, and he was a midget. It's serious. His name is CJ. Yeah. He had a Mohawk. Oh, yeah, you told me what they had a pink bono.

Oh, yeah, I do, I do remember that. I was there. Okay. You guys weren't there? I was there. You were 20 years old. Hey, Caleb. What, man?

Your shit smells like candy. Get out of my house! Oh. I'll see you in heck. Hey, uh, hey, Caleb. Yeah. What's up? I bet your mother has a loud bark.

I didn't even insult you. What the hell, man? I just asked, what's up? Sometimes you just have to do your job. This is how police officers feel. Yeah. It doesn't matter what somebody's saying to you. You got to do your job.

Somebody insult me. Somebody insult me. What's it? How's the weather up there? Is the girls' restroom smoke good? What kind of drugs does it take to enjoy your experience? Your existence. Fuck that up.

It's the same word, basically. And then the comment says, okay, this is amazing. Says the kid who loved Joker. Wow I'm not I'm not a kid who love Joker I'm that

I'm that comeback kid who love Joker Mm-hmm Let's see here Hey Caleb Who's a Oh If I stand close to you I can hear the ocean

Because you're a shell Yeah I'm a beautiful shell You're a beautiful gorgeous shell Yeah I'm a shell of a guy Yeah you're a conch Yeah I'm

Hey What? You're the coward Whoever heard of beating you two up to a pole That's what's the comeback Here's what we should do We should do the comebacks in a circle So it's a comeback circle

Let's just read the rest of this list right now To each other All right we'll start right here at number 30 We're gonna go with the whole list We gotta start with one insult Yeah You fat Caleb Which one?

First of all, no You just read the fucking Read it You fat Caleb Not fat People always say Treat others the way you want to be treated I guess you really want to be treated

I guess you really want to be treated horribly I don't know who you think you are but if you think you can talk to me like that you could go right here right now Hey man that elephant wants his underwear back No you No you You ruined the circle

Works No you I'm sorry I'm sorry you must have I'm sorry you must have made me for a mirror No you I would like to help you out Okay

What I can't hear you over the epic sound Of how awesome I am No you I really like that one Your mom had an abnormally large vagina. What the hell? That's how she gave birth to you. You get ten times more girls than me.

Ten times zero equals zero. It's kind of an own. You're a special kind of stupid, aren't you? I'm busy right now. Please don't leave a message ever. Whoa. That's a good one. Bullie.

Hey, look over there. You, gasp. Is it your intelligence? May the fleas of one thousand camels infest your armpits. Wait, no. Fleas are too good for any part of your body. Oh, my God. That's a good one to use on dogs.

Fatality. That's a great. great one to use on dogs. Hey, Patrick, waddle on over here and we'll talk. Okay. That insult was so funny, I nearly fell off my dinosaur laughing the first time I heard it. Aperture Science called. They said they had that the future does not start with you.

Holy crap. Why is aperture science? There is a crap. Somewhere out there in the deep, cold darkness of space, a crap resides. That crap is waiting to be given. Top comment, only comment. How the heck is this a comeback? I like watching your show, but when the camera goes in your general direction, all I can see is you.

Is that a fat joke? What does that mean? Yeah. Or maybe a tight lens joke. Maybe you have a small camera. Yeah, that's a joke for Carl Zeiss. Yeah, Zice would love that one. You're so stupid. You let the target throw darts at you. No, I don't. No, I don't. How can I say somebody is stupid? Let me think of a thing that somebody does.

You're so stupid foodie to you, stupid. You're so stupid in Soviet Russia. It strikes you. Yeah, you're so stupid your air conditioner It makes the room hot That's right You're so stupid You sleep upside down

You're so stupid A firing squad of you stood in the circle That's right You're so stupid It takes three of you to screw in a light ball It takes two of you to turn the Stop tickling me I'm going to get you soon

I can't wait to It turned off my microphone when you did that it was so loud that it turned off his microphone and you turned me off when you wouldn't let me tickle you can you giggle into the microphone just giggle into the mic just giggle once can i can just take i'm gonna take can you can we get a sweeter take yeah just that's evil listen don't scream i just tickle you just just giggle okay don't yell or scream and or hit me he did it that was a real giggle that's a real giggle are you ticklish he is ticklish i tickled in the the other night while you guys were sleeping.

Do you want to shower with me after this? You're not allowed to. I'm not going to meet you in the shower and a half a year. Yeah, you will. I think you will. I think you'll find a way to do it. Make like a unicorn and get the fluff away from me. Oh my God. If I wanted a beast, star, star, star, star, I'd have got a dog. Oh, I think I know what that says. What? Beast. Burger. If I wanted a beast, I would have got a dog. So what's the point of your existence again? Oh, come one. Your mom used that joke already. Oh my God

Quit whining over your sad life You're on the internet for way too long Think Floyd once said We don't need no education I guess you Might need it If that's your response to life That's a good one

All right let's see what's at the end of this year Let's get the... He wants his insults back Let's get to scroll to the bottom here Yeah Oh here we got this one this one's perfect for Caleb Caleb say something mean to me You look like a big fart. At least my head doesn't look like a deformed lemon.

No! Thanks for listening, guys. Thank you listening. Subscribe to the Patreon. Buy our T-shirts. We got some T-shirts. We got a new t-shirt that has a picture of Patrick's X, X, X, X, X, X, X, journey that he took. Yeah.

This triple X journey that he took with his friends. He did a triple X journey with three friends, and we put it on the T-shirt. Without telling him. What are you talking about? You were asleep. Bye, everybody. Bye.