Podcast About List - Ep. 121 - Poop Carpaccio

Episode Date: October 28, 2020

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You're listening to Israel's number one podcast. Podcasts to the ball list. You're really the crap monster. Chech. Chech. Chech. Cheching. Oh, fuck.

Chechnia. Fuck, dude. Oh, my God. I didn't get to, I want to bid at... We already talked about that, Patrick. I'm talking to the fans now. They don't need to know. Talk to the fans because Patrick's talking.

Wow. That's sort of a talk to the... Talk to the booty because the hands off duty kind of thing. Talk to the fans because it's Patrick's turn now. So tell us. Tell us about your night. So I went to bed at 8. I woke up and then stayed up.

And I've been up since midnight. And now it's... Where are you getting these lattes from? You claim to be on your fourth latte. Why have lattes? It's free-made. Who's making it? them. So you went from the

guy in the fridge. You went from drinking the Monster Energy to drinking those Starbucks like chocolate latte glass bottle things, right? Yeah, okay. No, no, not those ones. So I thought

the whole time I thought this was a creamer. And turns out it's just pre-made latte and I've been putting it in coffee. Oh. So. I've been putting... Okay. You'd be creaming your coffee with latte. I was creaming my coffee with latte, and

I realized that it was a latte. Why did you think it was creamer? It comes in a bottle. Yeah, I thought it was like a caramel caramel. It said Prater on it. I didn't read that. I saw the...

Packers based off shapes. Everything... Yeah, it is shaped. It is shaped like the creamer bottle. And the latte is shaped like cream. Yeah. um i uh i uh i had my i think my favorite customer interaction with a customer at work uh so far the other yeah i came in and said hello a uh a guy a guy was paying at the register and he was like digging through his pockets for change and he had like a handful of change he was going through and then he said

really quietly he he like leaned over me he was like look what i have and i was like oh no he was like look at this and he like covered it with his hand so nobody else could see and he should showed me he had a golden penny wow he had the gold coin yeah he had the golden coin you should have showed him the black coin I said wow that's really cool and he said yeah and then he put it back in his pocket well he didn't even say thanks he fucking knew he just like yeah I know yeah of course I know it's a golden penny yeah you fucking moron can you like imagine though going to just a bunch of stores and just showing people your golden penny while you're paying for stuff I would never show off my golden penny style come here come here

I would hide my golden penny from the world. Is it one of those ones where it has like Jesus Christ or Donald Trump on it? No, it looked like it was just like a penny covered in gold. Like it looked exactly like a penny, but it was dripping in gold. It looked like it was like it was like it had it had Abraham Lincoln on it. Our golden president. Our goldenest president. That's right.

The golden age of presidents. The golden age of presidents probably. not when he was president. Reagan to Bush, dude. Let me tell you. Yeah. Reagan to Bush. It took a long time to get to their golden age.

Yeah, Reagan to Bush, it sounds to me more like the molding age of president's the way. Oh, my, dude. Those were they, at one point, they were the highest office in the land, and you're disrespecting them in that way. That's rude. They did the most coos. Yeah. How many coos have you done, pussy? Actually, wait, then we should probably do Nixon.

Nixon to Bush. You know what? We'll just say everyone until Obama. Yeah, George Washington until Obama. We'll just say that. That's the gold mage of president. Then it started again after Obama. Yeah.

He was sort of entering a second golden age now. No, that's not true. The exact opposite is true. There was only one gold mage. It was the eight years. What's his name was president? Golden Obama. Golden Obama.

from Super Smash Bros. Mm-hmm. You guys remember when you had to fight Golden Obama? I had to fight Golden Obama. Metal Obama. That's scary, actually. Yesterday, I think I'm really, like, I think my ability to talk to strangers

is just, like, completely atrophied. Like, I just can't do it anymore. I'm better at talking to strangers than I ever was. I'm way worse at it. Yesterday, I am. I don't like going anywhere. Shut up, Cameron. Yes, I went to a new corner store to get, I got an eight-pack of Guinness.

A new, a new one, like they just put it in? It's brand new. New to you or new to the world? New to the entire universe. I went because I was down the street. A new bodegas is not the important, it's new. I got an eight-pack of Guinness. Okay.

Whoa. I put it, any, any, do you have 50 things to say about that? Yeah. Yeah? A pack, how many Guinness? How many? I have eight pack of what? Which, by the way, insane number of bottles to put it in a pack.

I got an eight-pack of Guinness. I put it on the counter. Eight like the number or ate like you ate it? Yeah, it's thick enough that you could eat it. Someone had already eaten it, the pack of Guinness. I put it on the counter. The guy was like, he's like a younger, like a bodega guy, which I'm not used to because it's usually like a 50-year-old guy.

And so he's talking to me. And he puts out, he was like, hey, how are you doing, man? I'm like, uh, mm-hmm. And he sees the beer and he goes, how old are you? And then just instinctively, I go, uh, 21. And he was like, you sure? And I was like, uh-huh. And then he's like, can I see your ID?

And I handed it to him. And he was like, this says you're 23. And I was like, oh, yeah, I'm, yeah, I'm 23. You're right. You're right, I am 23. I forgot how old I was. I wouldn't have accepted it. I would have been, I would have told him his math.

He should not have accepted it. Yeah. He should have thrown that ID in the train. It's from North Carolina. It's 10 years old. Every time we go to the airport, the person and TSA gets mad at me because my ID looks like it was like printed at a middle school. Yeah.

It looks like shit, dude. And they're like, you got a, one guy said he was like, oh, you get this in the dinosaur times at the TSA. Whoa. Yeah, which first of all, not a good joke. Yeah, fucking back off. Dinosaur times would be. a great restaurant. What is Dinosaur Times?

That's not a... That'd be a great restaurant in like the same vein as like medieval times. Yeah. I like it's funny to say, what did you get this in Dinosaur Times to me? Like what did you get this like six years ago? I'm still on Dinosaur Times, the restaurant because now I've got a great idea. So it's basically all the elements of rainforests cafe and medieval times put together. And that equals dinosaurs to you?

And well, you... So it looks like rainforest cafe, but there's a jousting ring in the middle, like medieval times. And when the dinosaurs were there. And they're on velociraptors instead of horses. I'm on Velociraptor time. VPD. I'm on, we should start sort of a kind of like a more intelligent, more intelligent. We should do the brain forest cafe.

Yeah. Right? Where you come in and immediately, they say, instead of, Instead of, hey, how you doing it's the library. It's the library, but it's rainforest themed. Yeah. And so you have a, you have a toucan who's... A two-can librarian.

Yeah, he's not good. He's not good at all. He's terrible at being a librarian, but he is a two-kin. Yeah, he has a colored nose. And instead of food, instead of food, do you get chess? Yeah. Comes on a plate. Or information.

What about chessmen cookies? What if you get those? No, that's food. I don't know what that means, man. It would have to be library-themed food, and there's cookbooks at the library. No, there's no food. You can't eat in a library. It's against the rules.

You can't eat candy in a library with the lights on. I didn't say anything about candy. You just said you want them to serve you food in a library? Yeah, like prime rib. No. You can't have prime rib. You would get the prime rib juice everywhere. I want them to give me prime rib at the library.

Well, you'll have to go to a different library. Well, you're not coming to brain for a... in a brain forest cafe, okay? You better get the fuck out. God, I'm going to start my own. I'm going to start Dinosaur Times by myself. No, you guys are going to be sorry. That's going to be your newspaper.

Yeah. Yeah, the Dinosaur Times. Yeah, because you came from Dinosaur Times. That's how old you are. Pussy, bitch. No one's going to read it. It's going to have a very low readership. People would want to read about what's going on with archaeology and stuff.

It's not about archaeology. It's about the daily lives of dinosaurs. Yeah. What's going on with archaeology right now? Yeah, tell us. There's so many new bones. Yeah? Yeah, I'm not even kidding about that.

Really? Yeah. Wow. So what's the latest headline? So apparently, a stegosaurus or triceratops was actually just like a baby of a different animal, a different dinosaur. So the tricatops is not an adult. It's just a baby version of something else. So it's terrifying.

No. So it's like you. Yeah, it's like you're a baby version of me. I'm not a baby. You are, you're a baby version of me. Only a baby would think that he could start a dinosaur newspaper. If I was a baby version of you, I would have one hair poking out of the top of my head. And you do.

No, no, because, yeah, you do. It's very thick. That's why you're wearing a beanie right now. To hide it, because you don't want us to see it. You knew we were going to accuse your thing a baby. No. You'll never own a newspaper, bro. I'll own it.

I don't even want the newspaper. I want the restaurant. Good, because you're not going to get it. Yeah, you're not going to get it. I want the Dinosaur Times restaurant. Okay, and what, and what are you going to put on the tables for people to read? I'm going to put the menu on the table for people to read. They didn't have menus in Dinosaur Times, so you can't have a menu. It's a stone menu. To you, I posit this question.

What language do dinosaurs read on the menu? Idiot. No. Wrong. Wrong. That's a movie. They read Jurassic Dinosaurs

Ablesi Spaniol No Dinosaurs don't speak Spanish Yeah they did What are you talking about? Yeah they did No

Yeah they did You're so stupid about language I'm not stupid about language You're right I'm definitely not stupid About dinosaurs Every language right now All right

Hello Bonjour Ola You're reading off of your tote bag Uh, bienvenitos. That means welcome. I'm saying welcome. No, you were saying hello, and then you switched to welcome.

Guten Morgan. That's good morning. That's different. Guten to tag. Different. Just skip the Chinese, man. Guten aband. Uh, good.

Shut up. Nobody wants to hear this. Cameron's told me to do it. It doesn't mean you have to do it. That means I have to do it. I like you more when you drink energy drinks. I don't like latte, Patrick. Why?

Because it kind of looks like you're eating poop. This is a weird color of latte. Yeah, it does look like poop. It's like got that green tint to it. Maybe it's because you're sitting in front of a green screen now that I think about it. It could be that. But maybe the light is reflecting off the bright green wall behind you. No, I don't think so.

Maybe this green poop is green because of the green screen. Yeah. See, that's what I'm talking about. That sentence would never come out of monster energy patterns. Patrick's mouth. It would. No. This is the center still would come out

on Monster Energy's Monster Energy Patrick's... It'll be this. Oh. Oh. Oh. I miss when Aspartame was fucking calcifying your brain.

Yeah. There's no Aspartame in Monster Zero. There's a... We've been over this. There's something. It's some sweetener. Something worse. It definitely wasn't good for me.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure. Shut up. I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, no, I'm really sure.

Yeah, no, I'm sure about that. Yeah. I'm actually positive about that. If you had kept drinking Monster Energy in 10 years, you have, like, the tongue version of Artie Lang's nose. It would just be completely... I'd have Artie Lang teeth, yeah. I'm sure his teeth are probably bad, too. You look like you...

No, he's got great teeth. Heroin is really good for your teeth Especially when you snort it, yeah When you snort it And yeah It's like Daredevil where he goes blind But his other senses get better When your nose gets fucked up

Your teeth get better Oh his sense of hearing Is probably great now Tell you what's great His sense of humor Yeah That's right I mean this guy is one of the funniest guys

Of all time Mm-hmm Yeah And that's just the facts Jack Maybe I do need to lose Some of my senses Yeah I think

If I was just a voice What about your eyebrows? What if we just get rid of your eyebrows That's not a sense That's my only good feature now Because I have no hair on my body You should get them like wax You should go get them

Imagine this You go get like little thin lines Imagine this You look at them penciled on Oh my god dude That's what you should do That is exactly what you should do That is not what I should do

Yeah, you should get microbladed. You should get, like, Mortisha Adams' eyebrows. Yeah. Here's what we do. Like, trying. My eyebrows off. Divine? Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Dude, yes. Oh, my God. I'll shave my eyebrows off. And all the way across his head, all the way to the back of his head, just lines. You guys want me to look like a freak. I'm going to get him shaved off. No, we want you to look. We want you to look good and stop looking like the way you look.

Yeah. I'll replace him with a script tattoo that says Southern. Mm-hmm. People like that. And then also, and then also, divine eyebrows that'll go over well too

that'll go over very well for you I know somebody who has a Southern tattooed in their eyebrow pretty cool yeah yeah it's Lauren Southern

swag yeah yeah who's that I don't know who you're talking about ever you say we've been over this you say names

I go yeah Patrick yeah Lauren Southern was one of those alt-right people she was one of those like alt-right people from another country

who's like oh right what is that even mean does she have a website One of those annoying, like, oh, I live in another country, but I'm very concerned about American politics. Oh, yeah, like Ian? Yeah. Like Pat Rock, dude.

Yeah. I'm not concerned about any other, I'm not even concerned about American politics. Your Twitter tells a different story, pal. You're out there tweeting about the spineless ghouls at the DNC. I think you might be like that are. These freaking rat fucks want us to vote for. Yeah, he's rat fuchs at the DNC. I'm just a truth-teller.

These rat fucks at the DNC hate the gremlins. Sometimes like the Democrats, sometimes like the Democrats and the Rebloodicans. I'm Patrick. That's genius. I've never thought of that. Yeah, you should post that. Yeah.

Wow. You really blew my mind there, man. It's like they're two gangs, dude. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's real shit. And the hood is our, is the... The hood is the Supreme Court. And the hood is the Supreme Court real shit.

And the hood is Congress. Where I'm from, the hood's the Supreme Court. Wow. And it's like, and it's like the third party is the Latin Kings. And a switchblade is a voter's ballot. Yeah. And a gun is a gun. It's a gun.

It's a gun, yeah. Yeah. Because both sides want guns, more guns. Uh-huh. It's true. Yeah, my friends We gotta change We gotta change the world

From the ground up Give everyone a gun Yeah What's, what's that Black Cat P's song? Let's just get that Let's get that playing under this whole Let's get retarded? No, not let's get retarded

The other one Oh Let's get it started I'm a B Yeah, let's get it started That's the most of it. Fucking Where's the Love?

Oh yeah, back when they were like trying to be the Fugees. Yeah, they're trying to be like the conscious, yeah, they're trying to be conscious hip-hop. Yeah. Yeah. It's still so funny that they made a song called Let's Get Retarded. I love all of the, like, funny about it to me. It's not, it's not, it's, it's, it's, kind of offensive, actually.

It is offensive, but it's so funny how it's just like, they only changed it so that they could put that in the commercials for the NBA. Yeah, yeah. If the NBA didn't want that song, that song would have just been called that forever. Yeah. it probably would have gotten it probably would have gotten the same amount of radio play too oh yeah back in the day well that's because like

all conscious rap from like the 2000s is the age so poorly you'll listen to like an old most deaf song and it'll be like George Bush hates those fucking stupid homoes yeah he's dropping the F bomb yeah fuck

yeah freedom that's what it used to be the F bomb used to be freedom and the S bomb and the And S-Bomb used to be Supreme Court. G-O-D-A-M-N-I-T. God-G-A-M-N-I-T. Taking the Lord's name in vain, did. Yeah, taking the Lord.

These Conscious Hip Hoppers are taking the Lord's name in vain. Oh, my God, I'm ready. We got to make a conscious hip-hop song that's against cursing. No. That's right. Mm-hmm. I'm pro-cursing. No, I'm anti-cursing in hip-hop.

anti-women in STEM. How about that? What about a bunch of white guys? I'd like to see a woman in a bath. I never want to see a woman doing math. Right? Something like that. Women should remain silent and not work in science.

That kind of thing. These bitches go in a Cornell. They gotta go home. They got to go home. They got to go home. They got to go home. And read the dinner bell. Yeah.

There we go. This bitch shouldn't be thinking about Pem Doss. She should be thinking about my penis. If you keep talking to me about the wage gap, I'm going to do a rage slap. No. That's right. Yeah. That's too far.

That's not what I would say. That's what Caleb would say in the song that he's recording. Why am I the rapper? You're the one who came up with. Because I'm the cool black one. I forgot. Oh, my. It's true.

What? Oh my God. I'm the rapper of the group. That's true. Yeah. I'm more of the, I'm the producer. Yeah, you are. You're Scott Storch, dude.

You're not the producer. I'm making fire ass beats every day. No. Yeah, you are. You never produced a thing in your life. You're the dipe man? You think you're the producer? Yeah.

You're not the producer. I produced the podcast. Name one, name one. Beat battle right now. Name one beat. We got big camera versus a beat. podcast. That's one beat right there. All right. Well,

I'm writing a new one. Beatbox challenge. Cameron... Okay. Who goes first? Versus Patrick Pedophile. And three, two, one, go. My rapping name is sensitive feet. He got some cool alternativeo beats.

Now, Patrick, talk your shit. It cuts out. I think Cameron wins this one. That's right. It's a hard-fought battle, but I'm going to have to give it. What was that cough? Oh. Oh.

Oh, no. Let's do this list, dude. Oh, I'm good now. I coughed, I choked on my own spit. Yeah, I bet you did, and you liked it. Oh, I wish I liked it. I wish it was good. Top ten most embarrassing moments.

Yeah, I just had number one just now, and I choked on my own spit. Life has an evil way of putting every one of us in an embarrassing situation once in a while. Think about the most embarrassing situation you have ever experienced while voting. Not the imaginary conceptual, ooh, that would be bad, but more of the, that was the worst of the ones I've experienced. Do they mean vote? Yeah, keep going Yeah, no, keep it going, let's go Do they mean

Most embarrassing thing you've experienced While voting, like Yeah, no Yeah, that's exactly what they mean, yeah While voting for president Yeah, we're on the list Yeah, yeah, yeah, wait, wait, wait, what's yours, Pat? Most embarrassing experience

I think I know exactly what it is I'm not embarrassed You're not embarrassed So you voted for Jill Stein? No Okay, all right, moving on. I think it's funny Yeah, no, it is funny

Number one, pants with no underwear Now the comments are where it's at on this list Once in April Fool's Day My friend's plan to do prank with me after school She said me to wear trousers and come in her home I was very happy but when I go there with flowers To give her immediately some strong boys of my class Comes and down my trousers and ran away

I wasn't wearing underwear in front of my friend so embarrassing That's all in a sentence Ow! I hate the strong boys of my class Oh my god, the strong boys of my class need to tone it down My favorite comment on this one is this one here that says Once my neighbor came She is a small children

But very dangerous She has a room where girls down boys' pants And see underwear If anyone don't she make him walk Fully naked from head to toe She also beat Whoa She beat what

She beat? She also beat All of these These are, wait, hold on This it has like One two three Four, five Like six

fucking things that all of these start with once like all of these comments start with once I think the same person wrote a lot of these this guy's been pantsed so many times by the strong boys in his class I hate those guys in my third grade class who are always wearing red speedos and oiling each other up with Pam

and getting really really brown once I was fall in water and auntie in school said you have to undress fully I forgot to wear underwear but I have to be naked in front of all of my classmates. Sounds like America to me. That has to be in America, right?

Once some friends called me in an underwear party, and I forgot to wear underwear, so I was forced to put all of my clothes off and make fun of me off and laugh. Have you guys ever been to an underwear party? I hate going to an underwear party. I hate when I get the invitation, because it's like,

I don't really want to go, but I don't want to let my friends down. The soccer team in college used to have the craziest underwear parties. It's like a birthday card shaped like a cake. but it's underwear and you open it up. Captain Underpants party. Yeah. Yeah, you are you are cordially invited.

You were cordially invited to Captain Underpants's layer. Whoever posted this item in here has some issues, I'm glad that never happened to me. Once I am wearing shorts in my school bus and then it's stuck on something and torn, I am not wearing underwear and higher class students are laughing at me. there is a girl who wherever saw me checks my underwear if I was wearing then she'd take my pants in her home and if not wearing she forced me to be fully naked and ejaculate and take every clothes even if I was not wearing a pink underwear then also she gave me that punishment and if wearing still she stripped my pants and made me walk the whole town

yeah there's definitely one guy on here who has a serious fetish it keeps happening to me I keep I keep getting pants by the strong boys at school And then Bonte take me home and check my underwear. And my strong neighbor make me little boy and wear no pants and she beat. Once I was like this, then a bully pulled down my pants in front of my crush and her friend. I felt so embarrassed she was as well as she couldn't walk past me for one month after that. Once I am swimming, my underwear was lost in pool. I have to go without underwear in front of whole class.

Once I was changing in mall, then the mall owner came. and said, you look great without clothes. She forcibly taken me to the fashion show and said that see a boy can be fully naked for you. Then everyone naked me and forcibly made me walk out a whole colony and embarrassed me. It took me to the fashion show. The whole colony, dude, that's embarrassing. That really is.

Once a whole colony sees me naked at that. fashion show, dude. Oh, no, it's one of those famous naked fashion shows at the mall. Once in a beach I saw it. Once in a beach, I am playing with my friend and talking about underwear.

I, by mistake, accidentally pulled his underwear then for that. He beats me very much. And then he put off all my clothes and made me naked from head to toe. And then in front of every friend, he showed me naked and everyone laughed at me. And I have to say that I am a poor guy.

And as a third punishment is that I am his servant forever. and every time comes Nake in front of him when he says put off your clothes, I have to do it. I saying him boss and all his friends and do what they says, these are his five punishments. Damn, dude, this guy's had a rough.

I wasn't wear underwear for one year. Once my friend called me after school when there were no teachers or anyone and they locked the classroom. I am a new student, so they do ranging and force me to down my shirt and pants. I am doing this slowly, but some strong boys said down your pants.

There are girls also, eight girls and four boys, so I down my pants. And then they said he don't wear underwear. I will tell it to everyone if you not dance, so I dance for 30 minutes. Can you imagine this guy's, like, predictive text? Yeah. That's how he's writing them. That's what it sounds like.

Fuck, dude. This guy, I wish this guy had a username. I wish we could, like, look at this guy's account. I bet he's all over this list. Yeah. There's no way he's not. I bet he has one for number two, having your diaper changed in public. Oh, baby.

He has to be here, right? Yeah. Yeah. one time I was at SeaWorld and two grandparents were changing their granddaughter outside in public. My grandma even yelled look at that girl naked. Your grandma's a freak.

What's wrong with your grandma? Come on, grandma. This one's like This one's weird. This one's just like weirdly racist. Asian kids always get their diapers changed in public. I have seen this way too many times growing

up, especially in Philadelphia's Chinatown, where I live. If I ever was caught having this done to me over the age of three, I'd kill myself, especially if it was on YouTube. When I was in high school, a lady and a baby girl was visiting my homeroom, special ed teacher. Later, the lady proceeded to change the girl's diaper on the floor in the classroom in front of the students and the teacher. We all witnessed it. This is not a joke.

it 100% happened for real It reminded me of the scene from the Rugrats episode Little Dude where Tommy got his diaper changed in a classroom I don't know I kind of feel like this is like I like they're in a special ed teacher Saying that they're in a special ed class It's just nice to know I feel like there's a pretty big alpha dog move

Yeah honestly To get your diaper change in public Just it's like when you You know when you pull your pants all the way down to your ankles To pee at a urinal and you look around the bathroom To make eye contact with everyone so they don't look at it turn around and then you'd start shitting in the urn? Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Nobody's going to talk to you, dude. Yeah. I think this comment here is from our guy. I saw a seven-year-old getting his pant down by his mother to change in public. This pant down. That's his key. That's his keystone phrase. Well, it didn't start with once, though. But he did say pant down. I feel like nobody else has said pant down. Number three has, number three, he's back. Walking in on your parents having sex. It says, once when I was like five or something i was not getting sleep till around midnight suddenly i heard noises coming from my parents

room i went to check my mom was saying nibble continually i opened the door and i saw them doing it m mom was asking my dad to nibble on her to this day i am scared we have to find this guy's account dude this is so unlucky that he's posting anonymously oh i know listen to this comment No, I don't want to see my parents nude and having their genitals clashing against each other. That's a comment by the user Swag Flicks. Swag movies. Swag flicks.

Swag Kino. I did that twice when I was little. You clashed your genitals? Yeah. If this happens to me, I'd be like, no question. I have no question. questions, because I know exactly what's going on here. That's like the inverse of no

comment. Walking in on your parents and just going, no comment. That did not just happen. Yeah, no thanks. They have sex now? They have sex now. Get a room.

That's Judd-Ap, or fucking Josh Whedon writing a fucking... That's Judd-Apatow style sex. Jossi needed my two parents having sex with their genitals clashing together like symbols. Oh, when Judd Apatow's genitals clash against Joss Whedons and you get... Let me tell you, that's something. Yeah, when you hear it, it sounds like somebody let Lisa one of those... Let me tell you, that's a freak versus a geek.

Yeah, hey. There we go. Okay, that's right. That is, yeah. Yeah. Okay, that was good. Number four, being caught talking to yourself. I hate it when they hear my plans when I'm...

Then I get caught talking to myself. When I'm talking to myself, the post office bathroom. Yeah. One time I was talking to myself and my friend saw it. Damn. Oh, my God. That's a scary comment. My mom thinks that I have mental problems if I talk to myself.

This is bringing back some bad memories. Left for Dead 2, Nick. It's a quote. They put a quote from Nick from Left for Dead 2 in there. I've been talking to myself a lot more recently because, yeah, like especially when I'm out because I have a map. mask on. So I think nobody, and I always have headphones in, so I can't hear myself talking to myself. And no, I think nobody else can hear me because they can't see my mouth. But then

the other day, the homeless guy who lives out in front of my building said, I was like, I guess talking to myself, like, I was like, talking myself about like a video I'm trying to make. And he just goes, what? And I was like, oh, no, I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to my phone. you don't understand. I'm talking to my own brain. Yeah. You don't get it. No, you wouldn't get it. They tried to, the cops tried to evict that guy the other day.

Really? From the, he lives on a bench out front of my, my, uh, my building. You can't evict a guy. Yeah, he's, he always is having a meeting with somebody. Like, a different person every hour comes and sits next to him and talks to him. Jana calls him the mayor and yesterday, or two days ago. Oh, we had, we had a mayor in Alston. Two days ago, he, he, uh, the cops, a bunch of cops tried to, like,

We had a mayor in Austin. Yeah, we had a mayor in Austin. Sometimes towns or cities could have a mayor that's in charge of them. There's a mayor. No, we had a guy similar. We had a guy who... Let Caleb finish his story, please. He was getting...

The cops kept trying to, like, move him off the bench. And he's like, no, I no move. You abuse me. Stupid dick-sucking police officers. He sounds exactly like that. It's a cool voice. They spent, like, 30 minutes just, like, picking him up off the bench and putting him on the ground.

He's, like, seven feet tall. They can't do anything. Right. And then they just gave up. They were like, all right, well, you have a good one, sir. And just left after just, like, beating him up for an hour. It's so weird. There was a guy in Alston who, like, brought all of his shopping carts to the front of this Indian restaurant

and would just scream at everybody when they tried to walk in. Maybe he was trying to start a grocery store. Yeah, maybe. That's a good idea. I mean, what do you buy first? You buy the building? You buy the grocery? There's shopping carts.

Well, he was calling, he, I did get Indian food there once, and he did call one of the employees the N-word, so I don't know if I really support this guy's grocery store. No. He was a white guy. Nah. Well, maybe he's from, maybe he's like, uh, Eminem. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. And he's one of those things.

Maybe he's just one of those Eminem guys. Yeah. Maybe he's one of those Eminem guys from the Eminem store. Maybe that's why he said it. Yeah. Number five, peeing on yourself. Some people like this. Okay, I was in seventh grade last year when I was in science class.

I have to use the bathroom super badly. I was going to ask the teacher, but the announcement said that the girl's bathroom is off limit till lunch. OMG, I can't believe it. I have to hold it for a couple more hour. My bladder was screaming at me. At the end of English class, I peed my slef. Thank goodness no one saw it. When I got home, I changed my pant before my mom noticed it.

Somebody just says, my mom beat herself once. This comment I really like Laughing with a friend and they pee I just imagine that on like a On like a Tumblr aesthetic Yeah Just teenager things I have been

I shit myself You know fairly often I almost never pee myself often Yeah dude once every six months Like clockwork I don't shit myself out of this I think you told me You think you definitely talked about that

It's still a surprise every time I would say like My last probably six weeks weeks ago uh no probably six weeks not to me it's just normal you know that's not normal to anyone else it's a modern family you i would think if if i was the one who said that i shit myself like once every six months people would be like oh yeah you know people would think you were because it's you no no people don't think i'm going to die people think i have to have forever i think people would think you were going to die if you shot your pants every six months i mean

I definitely have cancer. Yeah, you don't have hair. Exactly. It's like the telltale sign. Yeah. I don't know why I haven't been diagnosed with it. I just haven't been to the doctor since I was like 15, but I thought I had a mouth tumor the other day, but it was just an ulcer.

Just an ulcer? And you thought it was a tumor? Yeah. Nice, dude. Yeah, because I had a headache. Shitting myself is on my, on my notes. I have a note in my phone that's just everything wrong with me. You just tally it?

I just, every time I have a new symptom of something, it's for one day if I eventually go to the doctor, I'll just be like, hey, you're going to want to sit down for this, and I'll read him off every symptom that I have. Oh, I did that with the dentist when I went when I was 17. This tooth is dirty. This tooth is dirty. This tooth is dirty. I listed all the teeth that I had a cavity in. I don't brush my teeth. I didn't. I still don't, dude. I brush my teeth probably once, once a day, once every two days. It's, dude, it sucks. should just make a pill that brushes your teeth for you. That's so true.

Just fucking make a pill that does it for you, dude. Yeah. Yeah. They should make a pill that's like a nuke for plaque in your mouth. It should be, yeah. No, I agree. Yeah. Like some kind of acid or poison that just melts it off your teeth.

Or it should be like... I think if I ever have kids, it'll be one of their, one of their chores. Yeah, they have to brush my teeth. While I play video games. Specifically for that, you should get like a tooth tunes or something like a juice world tooth tunes. No, I want it to be. as fun for them as possible.

Because the thing about the tooth tunes is you've got to like press it up against your teeth so it makes the sound. Yeah. I think if I had a Press up. No, if I had a Juice World tooth tunes, Badger, probably one of his

songs. Yeah. Lucid Dreams. Yeah. Evil house. Scariest song of all time. My Juice Whirl. If I had a, if I had a, High school is crazy. If I had a Tupac and the Outlaws hit him up Tooth Tunes, I would probably... I had to kiss Tooth Tunes when I was 10.

You had to kiss Tooth Tunes? Yeah. Yeah. I had to kiss Heimwitz. That's Gene Simmons' real name. Oh. Oh. I don't want to know that.

Why are you grossed out by his name? What's gross about it? It's just the sound. Okay. Just didn't like the sound. Okay. But, yeah, kids should brush their parents' teeth. Right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it should be like doing the dishes. It's like a respect thing. Exactly. In some cultures, they do it. I bet they do that in China. Yeah. I bet they do that in China.

I bet they do. I don't think they do it in China. I think they do. Jerry Seinfeld thinks they do that in China. Yeah, I have. In China, the kids, brush their parents' teeth. It just makes sense. He said that's a bit.

Hon Joe Rogan. Jerry. Seinfeld just making up shit about China. I heard they joined the army at age three. In China, the vaginas are sideways. It just makes more sense. It's just how it should be? It just makes sense to me.

Look, everything in China says made in USA, what's to deal with that? I'm thinking I'll become a Chinese. I'm thinking of converting. I'm going to get a new surgery. I'm going to get an experimental surgery to make me Chinese. I don't think Jerry Seinfeld would ever go to China. I feel like I don't think that... I think he'd be so rich.

It'd make perfect sense for him to go to China. That's true. He could drive on the Autobahn there. He could drive on the China Bonn. The China Bond. Yeah. Mm. China Bond.

Yeah, you pick that up at the airport. Sounds good. Yeah. Oh, that's another business idea I got now. China Bonn. China Bonn? Jerry Seinfeld's China, China, Chinese restaurant.

Jerry, it's a Jerry Seinfeld owned Cinebond. Sorry. My business idea is for something that's owned by Jerry Seinfeld. I would love a Jerry Seinfeld Chinese restaurant and you're like, hey, sorry, can I have chopsticks?

And he's just like, chomsticks, what do you want chopsticks for? You have a hand, you have a mouth, he's a fork. The hell's wrong with you? It just makes sense. It just makes sense. It's a cinnibon. Are you a caveman? you want to eat office stone

how are you going to eat your soup it's a cinnamon it's a cinnamon roll rangoon whoa that's a pretty good idea that's china bond that's Jerry Seinfeld's China bond China Bon yeah okay all right

you got me I think I want you guys to go 50% on this with me I'll go 100% because I'm stealing that idea no you're not no I'll tell you what I'll give you $0 for 100% of your idea right now because I'm stealing it. And Patrick, after you open up

the Jerry Seinfeld's China Bonn, you can open up a spin-off restaurant that's Michael Richards Soul Food. It's open Mike Knight at Michael Richards' So Food at Michael Richards Country Cooking. He's hosting.

That's how he tries to make up for it. I'm trying to give back to the community. Oh, my God. Jerry, I'm moving to Baton Rouge. That's pretty good. Number six, caught stealing. Once you are in trouble, then you are in big trouble. I never got caught stealing.

although I did only steal one thing in my life. I stole Pokemon cards all the time. Yeah, I stole Magic the Gathering cards when I was in... I stole a cigar with my friend. How did you get to where cigars are? We walked... You were to look out and you didn't steal it. You abetted.

I was an accomplice. I smoked the cigar, so... I used to steal stuff out of kids' houses. Yeah. Yeah, like rich kids. I never stole things. I would leave things at people's houses. That's ingenious.

You're like Santa Claus. No, like, I would like put, like, I would bring like framed pictures and put them in their stuff. I would steal, uh, I would always still like headphones. Oh, yeah, that's not bad. Yeah.

I just thought it was funny. Oh. Or like a jacket, maybe. A jacket. You can't steal a jacket. I feel like a jacket's too far. Yeah. Unless it's like somebody has a lot of jackets.

Yeah. Well, you don't wear it. You don't wear it. You put in your backpack. Well, but what are you going to do with it? I'm going to put the jacket on my legs. I'm going to put it on my... I'm going to put it on my beautician dummy.

Dress it up? Is that so wrong? I'm going to make it look like Sonic the Hedgehog. Yeah, come on. Number seven, calling your teacher mommy. I do that. Top comment? Especially if the teacher is a guy.

I do that to all teachers. Yeah, I do that to all teachers regardless of gender. Yeah. Hey, Mommy. Question for the test. Hey, Mommy, do you think that Hegel's dialectical Hegel? Hegel?

Hegel. I'm talking about a different guy. Oh, okay. I'm talking about a PBS show. You're talking about Hegel. You're thinking of Haagel from Labyrinth. Oh, that's who I'm thinking of. The Heckler, the documentary. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm thinking about the dialectical praxis in Heckler. Imagine a German guy named Hagell. Hey, Mommy, I couldn't help but notice. We only have very few in Degler. indigenous authors on this reading list and I was wondering. Yeah. Hey,

hey, Mommy, uh, am I supposed to present today? Uh, that'll throw them off. I feel like that's a good, so you record,

you record yourself doing that, and this is the Patrick challenge. You record yourself telling your teacher. Say, say, is this, my, is this going to be graded on a car?

Or call, Hey, Mama. Mama. Mama, Mama, Mumma, Mummy. Mummy.

Mummy. Mummy. Mummy. Mummy. Mum, mum, Mum, Mommy, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mommy, Mommy. Hey, hey, just wondering, Mom. Mom.

Do the Stewie Griffin Challenge and say, and say, Mum, Mummy to your teacher. Yeah, it'll work, dude. My head hurts. Hey, Mom, can I have detention? Can you give me some detention? It's been a while. Yeah, ma. Yeah, Mommy.

Ma. Ma. I called my bodon. I called my. my best friend mom on accident how do you do that maybe his name was maybe his name was man man yeah

oh okay maybe it was Jason mom Jason Momoa this is my best friend Darlene who's also my mother I'm not the best friend is his mother Hey you guys are kind of I'll just start calling you mom is that embarrassing? No

that's normal right moms Mm-hmm. It's fine. How many of us? How many moms? There are three of us, Patrick. You were so dumb. I can't see.

Number eight, laughing so hard milk squirts out of your nose. That's not embarrassing. That's just... That's a trick. That's just having fun with your friend. That's a magic trick. Exactly. Top comment agrees.

How is this embarrassing? It's just funny but weird. Can't believe this is number five. It's actually number eight. So you sure have egg on your face now, pal. And milk. You know, David Blaine can squirt a gallon of milk. at his nose when he laughs.

Yeah. I'm serious. It's true. Yeah. I believe you. He can do anything, dude. Yeah. He takes it to the extreme.

David Blankens knees four times in a row. He can eat five cheeseburgers in two minutes. David Blank can run a two-minute mile. That's one of his magic tricks. That's right. He's faster than Usain Bolt. Yeah. Number nine, caught listening to Justin Bieber songs.

Luckily for me, I listen to music by other artists. That's for music. saturated sunrise. Like who? No. Yeah, I don't think you do. If you can't name another artist, I don't think so. Like sticks?

I only listen to sticks. You don't like sticks. Yeah, I listen to the All-Man Brothers Band. Yeah. This number 10 is the one I've been waiting to get to this whole time. What the fuck is this one? Number 10 is nude on stage during nursery play. What does that mean?

If that happened, I would fall down, my head would spin 180 degrees, then my tongue would turn upside down and pop out of my eyes, then I would turn bald, and all my hair would turn to liquid and come out of my pores, then I would have no hair anywhere in my body. Then my legs would do a splits, and my upper torso will rip out of the bottom, and then the worst part is coming up, I would turn into Justin Bieber. At Smooth Criminal. Did this actually happen to you? Would you guys ever do like a naked on stage naked show? No, no, probably not. No one is going to see my penis. I got asked to do the improv boss when I gave my heart in, oh. Yeah.

I mean, yeah, it's like, no. No. Why did you do that? No, no. Yeah, I mean, the thing is, like, a lot of people do that shit, though. I don't understand it at all. It's not even like it's going to be a good show. It's not even like, it's like, oh, this is the thing that's going to make.

my career i guess i would just be i would just be confused on like how hard do i get yeah yeah and also yeah i mean like if you get hard is that okay if i get hard does do they have to have sex with me do they all hold me down at sex with me they can hold me down and suck my dick and fuck my balls do they fuck me in my balls wait if they see my balls they have to fuck my balls they have to hold onto my balls and run across the room what if i absolutely dip my beer in my balls. Yeah. What if I spill water

on my balls and I have to run around the room to get them dry? Well, I have to run around the room so fast to get my balls dry?

I accidentally go forward in time. Oh, no. Would they start throwing skittles at me and I got a windmill my penis to wait to whack them off?

What if they throw a skittle at me and it goes into my pee hole and I have to go to the hospital? Oh, what if I have to do a naked stand-up show at the hospital for all the patients? What if I sit down

on the stool But the whole stool goes inside my ass. What if my microphone gets stuck in my balls? Yeah, what if the little antenna at the end of the microphone gets in my peepie? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. There's a lot of, like, okay, so that would be a horrible place for that once every six months.

What if my balls turn into Skittles at the open mic? What if I accidentally summon an evil genie? My waiter turns into hamburger meat. Oh, no. What if they have a meat grinder on the stage And my asshole falls in the meat grinder on the stage What of my penis comes off of my body And flies around the room like an RC plane

And people are reaching at it and trying to grab it And then a really sexy lady grabs it And it squirts everywhere Oh no, my penis turned into the golden snitch So in short, Improv Boston Mm-mm No No

Sorry, I don't want to skip ahead we can skip ahead if you really need to number 12 is just parents making love it's one thing to walk in on your parents having sex it's another thing just for your parents to make love entirely yeah there's a comment on here that says

it's actually very cute isn't oh oh my god what do you oh my bad I thought you guys were fucking you two are making love this is very cute this is cute of you to do this is adorable Anyway, could you heat up some milk for me? I'm really tired, but I can't fall asleep. I'm really tired, but you know I can't fall sick when I'm in my head.

I have a stomach ache from looking at this. Can you go make me some milk? There was a time in high school when I was like, every night, I'm going to have a warm glass of milk to go to sleep, and I hated it. It's so psycho, dude, it's so disgusting. It's horrible. I would heat it up in the microwave. Yeah.

Oh, I did that once. I don't get it. I've never, my younger sibling would do that all the time. It's so disgusting. Terrified, dude. If milk was meant to be hot, it would come out of a fucking cow piping hot. That's right. And it would stay hot.

It would never cool down. It would never cool off. Exactly. That's what a hot toddy is, I think. That's, no. That's a hot tata. Hey. No, I think you're being inappropriate right now.

I'm not, dude. I think you're being inappropriate a little bit. Did you guys come, come out cold or hot? hot hot though like freezing cold no it's like lukewarm it's not like

one degree I feel like it's like when you throw boiling water in a on like a freezing day on your girlfriend's back yeah and it turns into ice I feel like that's

it's like that but for room temperature I don't know I'm like as soon as it leaves your as soon as it leaves your as soon as as it leaves your pee hole it turns into like it's like the temperature of spit i wish that it would spit i think i have cold spit hold on oh i can't waste it come on what do you mean you can't waste it you only have so much spit in your life it's like heartbeats finite amount of spit yeah come on

you don't want to waste a lot of spit can i have something you're gonna get a spit transplant from you. Okay. Number 13, farting in public. Not embarrassing. Not embarrassing, dude. That's shown who's boss. Once you're a master at holding farts and you can go into a corner and let the storm rage on.

I hate Frozen, by the way. I know this is stereotyping, but it's just a meme. How boys fart. Let the storm rage on. How girls fart. Concealed. Don't feel. Don't let them know.

So true. Boys fart like this, girls fart like that. Yeah. You can get with this so you can get with that. I think I'll go with this because this is where it's at. I love that Honda commercial. I want to skip ahead to... I love those crazy hamsters and their Kia.

I want to skip ahead to number 16, caught masturbating. And I want to read this comment that says, I always masturbate in the bathroom with the door locked or in the dead of night in bed. Caught watching porn number 17 as little. script here if you guys want to read it. All right, let's do it. All right. Who's going to be the mom? You're the mom, Pat.

I mean, uh, me. What are you looking at? Wait, okay, who's me? You. Okay, then you have to read the note at the end, all right? This is serious. Who's on first? What are you looking at?

Mom! Wait, there's a girlfriend. You're the girlfriend, Pat? No, Cameron's the girlfriend. I'm me. I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I read, okay. There's, wait, there's four parts in this script. Oh my God. Okay, I'll be

mom, because mom only has one line and then I'll also be the note at the end. Okay, and then I'll be me. And then Patrick will be the girlfriend and the friends. All right, let's do this. Now I feel we've done so much, I feel like we need like intro music now. Yeah. Is that candy show at the pot? What are you looking at? Mom. Tom, what, are you

looking at other girls? Uh, no. Ha ha ha. Wow, you're a girl of yours. No, I don't. Now leave me alone. Yes, that would be embarrassing. Note. Tom is not my real name. I'm Darren, and I'm making a cartoon of it.

I'm Darren. I'm making a cartoon of it. Yeah, I'm just, I'm making a cartoon of it. Yeah. The podcast about List Players present Caught While Watching Porn by Darren. Darren's cartoon. Yeah.

Pat, just a little note. I feel like you could have maybe given a girl voice. Yeah, do two different voice. Let's run this again. I make some different character choices. Okay. What are you looking at? Mom.

Tom, are you looking at other girls? Oh, no. Oh, wow, you're a girl love here? No, I don't. Now leave me alone. Yes, that would be embarrassing. Note, Tom is not my real name. I'm Darren, and I'm making a cartoon of it.

I think that was good. I think that was really good. I think we could sell that for money. We can sell Darren's cartoon for money. Well, Darren doesn't fucking find out. I think we could option Darren's script off. Darren, if you're listening right now, we would love to work with you on this production of car while watching porn. Darren, we want to pick your brain for a little bit and see if we can expand upon your short here, your short cartoon.

You're short. Hey, Patrick. Yeah. How would you like being embarrassed and getting punished, too? I wouldn't like that That's not convincing It sounds like you might actually really I wouldn't like it at all

You want to get punished and I wouldn't like it at all You want to get punished You want to spill Kevin's chili And then you want to get spanked I don't like I wouldn't like it You would I think you would like that I wouldn't

Stop smiling when you say it I wouldn't like it Number 21 opposite sex public restroom Sorry this is the opposite sex, public restroom. Yeah. I'm here to have sex. Oh, I think he's bad.

Not in here. One time I had a dream where I went to the boys' bathroom, and even my unrealistic second-grave dream was horrible. On an unrelated note, I sing in public bathrooms until someone comes in. Then I stop and hope they didn't hear me. It's not them. I'm female. I was in Chinatown once during a banquet.

And I had to use the restroom. So I went and I saw the ladies' restroom was constantly. closed and when I knocked and no one responded and the door was locked so I went into the men's restroom instead. What do you guys feel about, you know when moms or you know when moms or dads or moms or something else bring their kid into the wrong

bathroom? What the hell man? I was under the right impression. They got to have a kids bathroom where only the kids go and that also that it's ingenious that is ingenious. Well that's why they have the family restroom.

Yeah. Which I would use because it's a more comfortable shitting situation. Yeah, because you're a family. Because yeah. This happened to my friend who went into a girl's bathroom and bike cops just happened to be riding by and rode him

a ticket. I found number 33. He's back. Oh my God. Ready? This is number 33 when your crush rejects you. Comment here. Once my crush rejects me,

and made me naked head to toe in public I have to become naked head to toe in public and she called me in her room and she beats me and said that I will do this daily once me and my friends are walking my old crush came and said strip all of your clothes with an hunter on her hand and said to my friend

you too she said come in my van and then be naked I will take you to my home I said okay and the I do that then she removes me from her van and said come to my house to take your clothes I went there and she slapped me and rejected me. Wow.

This guy's had the worst life ever. This is like, yeah, it's like now scarred. This is just like, just over and over again. Just insanely amazing stories. Yeah. Like, imagine, um, imagine, like, just being that guy and just being, like, waking up in the morning and being like, oh, man, I hope strong boys don't strip my pants down today and slap me, rejects me.

And there's every single day and new. walk in front of the colony A new neighbor beats you In front of the whole colony Every single day is waking up like Oh please And everybody just laughs and thinks you're making it up Yeah

Yeah Please don't You believe this guy We need to rescue him Yeah we need to save him If anybody has any information On who this guy is We need to save you

Number 34 People seeing a black spot on your underwear Sorry That's just the blight on my underwear. Yeah. The black spot. Sorry, that's the beginning of evil.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Number 54 is nude in front of your boyfriend and the only comment is hey, I'm a boy, so put nude in front of your girlfriend. Number 47, when you can't hold your poop anymore and excrete it publicly.

number 57 being ass kicked by your teacher but it's really true number 63 failing at trolling so true once I put a bucket of paint balanced on the door for my annoying big sister and I made sure that I do not enter the room but while I was going to the toilet I forgot about what I said and went inside only for my bucket to splash all over me

by the way it was blue paint if you were wondering and worst of all, my sister came two seconds later and said, Mom, I found a smurf in the living room and all my family came to see me covered in blue paint so embarrassing. That's still a pretty good troll. Convince your sister to your smirms. You told your family that trolls were real,

or smirfs were real, yeah. A smurf is a kind of troll. 64 throwing up on your own birthday. I did this year on my birthday for some reason, and in 2014 I did. It's 45. I think trains is on the last episode Number 65 goes to school with no underwear on

And your crush sees your bum I think they might like that Yeah Tom Green would like that Yeah fucking freak Yeah My grandparents told me to have a good day at school And I said you too Wow

Number 70 wiping your butt and getting poop on your hand So I feel like it's not embarrassing Because nobody else sees it right Right Yeah, no, I mean, it's embarrassing to myself when I do that. Number 77, trying to get an autistic kid to try to stop taking your stuff. Whoever added this is sick, so disrespectful, I'm autistic, and I only steal your things if you stay stuff like this to me from I hate school.

Get that, get that, dude. Number 78, the infamous awkward silence. Oh, my gosh. Especially after that magpie hit the window in the middle of a napole. plan test, and now everyone is staring. Wait, 83. Thinking about something gross and gagging in front of your crush. Baby, I'm having an amazing night tonight, really.

This has been... Sorry, I thought of a poop. Sorry. I thought about throw up. I did, I, I, I, I, I, that is such a funny thought to me as, like, having sex and being like, hey, can we stop? I just thought of a poop. Yeah.

I just imagine to poop. Number 90, you order a triple-decker cheeseburger with bacon, and when it arrives, you get a little too excited. That's a... Just like somebody, like, seeing a burger and just going like... Oh, my. Oh, heavens! Number 92, being caught masturbating by 20-plus people.

Oh, this is a long comment here. Do you happen to be a Japanese schoolgirl on a train with a bunch of cameras around? What? Let's not read this comment. This guy is too much. Oh, my God. Yeah. It's no good.

If you want to read it, you go look for it yourself because that's just borderline fan fiction. 96, the person that you have a crush on being revealed at the worst possible moment. Oh, my God. Number 98, erection and swimming class. Number 101, things are going to end on. Parents check your browsing history. Only comment. I'm looking at my search history on safari.

I'm a bad kid, parentheses. It is a parody I made. What is it a parody of? Mom, dad, I'm parodying something. Yeah, I made a parody. I made a parody of what search history should look like. I needed that on there for a parody, thank you. Yeah.

I'm picking a parody where I have sex, so I needed to watch all this porn. Doing research. Doing research to make my parody of I'm on a boat called I'm fucking an ass. Yeah. I'm parodying this video Cut cute girl fucks red panda This is part of my parody Oh yeah

That's a video That's a video I've never seen that All right Thanks everybody Subscribe to go sleep Subscribe to the Patreon Watch our

We have I don't know if we've ever mentioned That we have a Twitch stream on the show I'm sure people know If you like the show You like the stuff So true What else? I mean, just have fun.

Our YouTube channel. We just, hey, we hit a thousand subscribers on YouTube today. This is one of the best days of my entire life. Yeah, this is huge. I knew I knew I had to power through sleep deprivation to be here. You had to. All right. Because I had to talk about our YouTube that we don't ever really use.

Goodbye, yeah. Bye, L. Oh, shit. Ha ha ha ha.