Podcast About List - Ep. 123 - Free download toolbar progressive insurance toolbar

Episode Date: November 11, 2020

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You're listening to Israel's number one podcast. Out of course to the ball list. You're a crap monster. Yep. That's some funny shit, man. I don't care who you are, black, Indian, Hitler. Man, I mean, I don't care if you're Adolf Hitler yourself, man. That's some funny shit, man.

Yeah, I don't care. God damn. The boys are back, dude. What the fuck? Oh my God. We're back in New York, New York, Manhattan. They didn't fuck up and let it happen again, dude. They let me back into New York, Manhattan.

Which I wasn't expecting to, yeah. I wasn't expecting that to work. Yeah, after you acted like a total beast. Yep. You partied hard. I did. Dude, people were talking. Last time I was here, I thought I had COVID for a couple days.

You did think you had COVID just because you were tired. We all got tired and we were like. Like, we have COVID-19. I was like, this is the, this is the big C. There's no other explanation. I mean, it's fair, because I can't, that happened to me so many times during the beginning of lockdown. I got tired or had a sore throat and I thought, oh, I have COVID. That was the first time that I got tired when I was around other people.

This, yeah, no, COVID was like, as a fucking, just a terrible hypochondriac. Yeah, that's bad. This whole thing. Yeah, yeah. The past, like, since March, I have been on edge just every day. Yeah. You've been on H every single day? I've been on H.

every single day to deal with the pain. I wish. I mean, I could get some good shit in New Hampshire. I would love to have those big, bolding veins. Oh, my God. Dude, I would get so thin on heroin? Are you kidding me? True.

True. I would look good. No, you would be like an already laying heroin addict. No, I wouldn't. Yeah, you'd be like, oh, I just had so much heroin. We have to go to Burger King. We have to eat cheese. We have to go to Burger King.

No, no, no, no. I would get Taco Bell so I could shit it out of my system immediately. Plus heroin makes you shit. Does it? I would read that. I've never done it. What's the thing in train's body? A toilet?

Yeah, he goes in the big toilet. No, heroin makes you constipated. Scotland? Heroin makes you come. Heroin does make you come. It is true. Would you guys do heroin? I mean, it's available to me.

But you haven't done it. Yeah. I haven't done it. Well, it's the thing. I know all the heroin in New Hampshire is cut with Fent. Ah. So we have a very... Would you do Fent?

has an extremely bad opioid crisis and now the election's over it's going to be forgotten until the next election. Because Biden's going to snap his fingers. It's over, dude. Biden's going to do the thanos snap. White people listen to Biden.

He says, yeah. If he says, hey, Jack, stop doing... Stop doing fentanyl. Listen, yeah, listen. Fentanyl in your balls. The whole city of Manchester is going to be fine. When I was a kid, fentanyl was something

that mom said to their dads when we were, and we were walking around. Yeah. And, uh... Look at that, it's a butterfly over there. Hey, look at that, Jack. That's a caterpillar. It's going to turn to a butterfly one day.

Look at that cacoon. That's a cacoon over there. That's a cacoon right there. Ah, god damn. Well, shit. Man, he's just, since I've seen one of those. Well, shit. She is Joe Biden.

Yeah, me, Joe Biden. No, I can't, I can't wait till the opioid crisis in New Hampshire to get way worse. And then, like, Joe Biden should be like, hey, look, this is not my fault. I mean, it's not as far. I mean, it's not as far. It says fucking fucked up ugly hillbillies in New Hampshire. I'm really glad fucking Corky Messner didn't win New Hampshire. I'm glad Gene, I mean, I don't like Gene Jeanne Jeanne, but I'm glad that Gene Sheen

beat him out. Gene Zaheen and Corky Messner. If the guy from New Hampshire who was in charge of shit was named Corky Messner, yeah, that would fucking suck. Yeah, that would not help my case for being stupid. Yeah. New Hampshire is run by a man named Tweedy Bird. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, this is New Hampshire's state senator Chunky Monkey. Chunky. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's basically everybody in New Hampshire throws their poop. We all live in cages. We all live in cages and throw poop at people. Yeah.

In North Carolina, everybody runs for elections. is either called, like, they're either like... Corby Messner should be the North Carolina. Yeah, well, it's either like, it's either like Robert Braxton or like,

or like, D-Dawn. And like, Da-Dawn got a, got a city council membership. Oh, damn, did you hear DeDon finally legalized drunk driving? Now, that's the fucked up part is in North Carolina. DeDon is a way better fucking elected official

than Robert... Cherry Berry. Cherry Berry. There's a woman who is the commissioner of fucking elevators, which, what? First of all, what the fuck is that? Secondly, her name is Cherry Berry, and she puts it on every single elevator along with a picture of her face, and she's never lost an election. She wins by 90,000 percent. Because if you are in the booth and it's like, who do you want to vote for?

You want to vote for Enrique Rodriguez or Cherry Berry? There's a clear choice. Yeah. Yeah, especially North Carolina. Yeah, no, people are like, well, Cherry Berry. It sounds like an ice cream flavor. Cherry Berry Hill. I'm hungry.

Yeah, I go get ice cream right after this. Cherry Barry right now and that's November. But yeah, she's probably a piece of shit. Maybe. But she's a genius. Yeah, she's the best. She invented elevator. I'm going to take you guys in North Carolina and show you an elevator.

Oh, I'm going to take you guys in North Carolina and show you an elevator. I'd love to go to North Carolina. I know the skate park there. We have to go at some point. It's sick. North Carolina rules. Yeah. Much respect to North Carolina.

I feel like North Carolina is like New Hampshire in the spring. Well, it's better food than New Hampshire for sure. Yeah, for sure. And there's, yeah, now that you guys experience what New Hampshire. I mean, there's black people and beaches. It's nothing like New Hampshire. Yeah. It's way better than New Hampshire, too.

I feel like the most similar state to New Hampshire is probably Vermont because it's upside down New Hampshire. I would say, or. Maine. No, Maine's too big. But... Maine is like,

Maine is half like... What about Mongolia? Yeah. Yeah. Might be close, right? People eat out of big bowls. We do have a lot of, uh, we do have a lot of, uh, we do have a lot of cons there.

We do have a lot of, uh, distant relatives of Genghis Khan. They're all over the place. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He actually conquered New Hampshire. Yeah. That is the edge of the empire.

Yeah. When people say like, oh, like, oh, like, Like 0.2% of the population has, has Genghis Khan's jeans. That's all New Hampshire. It's only people in New Hampshire. There was just conquering each other. There was this house in Auburn that I used to drive by. It was literally like, I think it's a trailer that they built like a big picket fence around.

It's in the middle of the woods. It just says it has a big sign that says keep out on it. And it's just like a whole, like, it's like a fenced in house. And it's near like some fire department in Auburn. and that is the great wall that Gagascone was trying to conquer. There it is, dude. So what do we, I mean, are we going to stay up until 5 a.m. again, first night with you guys here? Probably, not.

I mean, knowing us, we probably will. Let's just do the same thing as last time. Never learn. Never learn from our mistakes. What do we do last time? Last time we stayed up to like 5. Stayed up to 5am and then Caleb took us on like a 10 mile walk the next day. We said, oh, Caleb, so we're going to go backlog so many.

episodes oh wait no let's go let's walk uh let's walk we had to have something to talk about we couldn't just do phil hoffman or you know well we could have done phil hoffman all weekend yeah that's we haven't seen each other in in in long enough that we could just talk that's trying to go on a long walk it's been some stuff happening i guess so there's some interesting stuff going on like what i don't know patrick go ahead what's going to talk about what's happening in my life okay all right i'll talk about what's happening in my life it's going fucking awesome yeah doing so much drugs and fucking having sex every day yeah no no i've gotten a little bit better at the base i've gotten a lot better of video games yeah i have i think if it wasn't for

video games i would have gotten addicted to drugs yeah in the past six months honestly yeah i think honestly i think learning like the first uh part of the chicken by jaco pastorius has saved you yeah by jacob sartorius jacob sartorius yeah dude nice yeah because the first The first bar of chicken is just, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Well, it's the exact same core progression as the chicken dance. Exactly. Yeah.

Which is easier. Jacko Pastorius wanted to play the chicken dance, and people are like, this isn't, this isn't jazz fusion enough. If this ain't jazz fusion, I don't know what it is, play out. Exactly. Yeah. I don't know enough about Jacko Pastorius to even joke about him. Don't even joke about that.

I don't even joke about that guy. I don't even joke about Jacko Pastorius. He's got a scary name, that's all I know. Yeah. Yeah, he kind of looks scary, too. What does he look like? He kind of like a freak. Go on.

He looks kind of like a freak. I've only seen him, the only pictures I've seen of him, he's wearing a turtleneck, and I don't trust somebody wears turtlenecks all the time. Yeah, well, you never know it could be under the...

Exactly. What if there's no... He could have a knife under the turtle neck. Yeah. What if it's to hide the fact that he has no neck? He's a floating head. Yeah, what's that scary stories to tell in the dark,

the first one in that book? Yeah, what if his head falls off? Yeah. What if his head falls off? he takes it down he's got Dracula bites he kind of looks like a vampire what if he has one of those boxes that smokers have when they then they talk about a robot what if he's got a pussy on his

I think that's definitely the most effective I think I'd actually want to see that yeah let me see let's take a couple steps back here if he's got a pussy on his neck he got any or an outie on there come on if you're born with a pussy on your neck do you think you get in trouble for having it in public yeah what people hate women more than men

if you had a penis on your neck you could walk with your dick hanging out dude that's right cheers to that dude cheers to that oh my god imagine imagine

okay imagine you're a guy who has a penis on your neck okay and you're walking around the mall and across the mall you make eye contact you make eye contact with a woman working at auntie annes who has a pussy on her neck

and you walk up to her and you stick it in with that ass No. Come on. And you walk up to her and you ask her on a date because the first time you ever see someone like that, she says no. Well, because she knows what you're doing, dude.

She's not going to be like, oh, this is what happens stance that he's asking me on a date. Oh, how convenient. Well, I mean, you don't think that she would, this is finally someone that's like her or two. You don't think that... I mean, guys would find a fucking face, fuck.

Yeah, guys would fuck a throat with a pussy. Yeah, that'd be, like, kind of ideal, dude. I don't have to get near the butt. Fucking perfect. Are you kidding? You know? Yeah. Yeah.

My wife heard that, and I heard her move around. She's opening the door. Oh, that was the most scary moment of my life, dude. I almost got grounded. That was tough. I got grounded before I left. You got grounded, really, by your mommy? My brother grounded me.

For what? He texted me and said, I'm grounded, and I need to come back home. Are you serious? He just misses you, dude. Is that why you've been crying the entire time I've been in my house? No, that's why I've been crying. It's because Eric said I was grounded. Damn, dude.

Yeah. How are you going to recover? I don't know. I mean, how are you going to crawl yourself out of this? I probably won't. Yeah? That's the longest you've ever been grounded for? Longest I was ever grounded.

No, I didn't get grounded for a lie. I always knew how to weasel my way out of getting grounded. But. Yeah. The first time I ever got in, like, serious trouble for something I did was when I first got Twitter in, like, 2012. Yeah. And my cousin, Patrick, I have a cousin named Patrick. Looks just like you.

No, he doesn't. Oh, is he one of your big cousins? No, or I think we're the same height. He looks just like you. So it looks exactly like you. No. He doesn't look like me at all. Okay, what does he look like then?

I think is... Just describe him, you fucking idiot. I feel like if I showed you a picture. you'd say he didn't look like me. You probably couldn't tell. So say some features on his body. Got a lot of tattoos. So that's not.

That doesn't happen. I was right, dude. He's Maori. Yeah, he's Maori. Exactly. That's my Maori cousin, Patrick. But we went back and forth, and we were talking about holiday-themed dickpicks. And somehow my aunt saw it.

In 2012? Yeah, exactly. Like in 2012. That's just an at midnight game. And my aunt saw it, and then I guess something he said, he said like a picture of my dick on Yom Kippur with Jewish sideburns or something. And my aunt, who I hadn't talked to since I was like, I hadn't talked to her in like four years. This is a Blue Lives Matter aunt? No, this is not the Blue Lives Matter on.

This is the aunt who has notorious RGB stuff. Syndrome. But she messaged my mom, or she messaged his dad, and then his dad called my mom and said, your kids are posting anti-Semitic things online. And my mom... Your dad was like, die. Hell yeah, dude. I raised them boys right.

My mom, as soon as I got home from school that day, my mom was like super mad at me. And I was like, what, what the fuck is going on? She's like, you need to, like, delete your account, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, what are you talking about? and she said you're posting anti-Semitic things, and I showed her that it was his kid, not me. Your mom hit you with a delete your account. Yeah, my mom hit me with a delete my account.

Yeah, so my mom was like, Uncle Bobby called and said you were posting anti-Semitic things. And I was like, no, it was Uncle Bobby's kid who was posting the anti-Semitic things. So take that. And he didn't call my mom back. Whoa. Because my mom explained to him like, yeah, you know,

because it was me. my brother Paul and my cousin Patrick. Damn. And they got confused by which Patrick exactly. They said Patrick, they said Patrick, I think my aunt said Patrick is posting

anti-Semitic things and then Bobby called my mom immediately. Eight years later, you're posting anti-Semitic things constantly. And rewarded for it. Yeah. I'm rewarded by all those Jeremy Corbynites. The longest...

Patrick runs a small account that's been getting out of the ground recently called Anti- anti-Semitic cow, which is different from anti-Semitism cow. Anti-Semitic in a good way. It's like, yeah, dude, fuck yeah. Yeah. It sends

moose to fucking every Jeremy Corbyn tweet. That's right. The longest I ever got grounded was I Well, I didn't even get grounded for that. I was under threat of getting grounded. I don't think I've ever been, like, grounded. Dude, I had some fucking harsh.

Yeah, I know you fucking did. dude you were the one you got you got caught more than me uh don't say that because it kind of makes it sound like you're sneakier than me which is just completely false no i'm sneakier than you you literally you don't know what you're talking about no no i'm sorry that your mom is you guys should have an insanely hot but she's not that's your fault i got grounded because i just completely ripped off a paper in like high school oh i never did that and then my mom was like my mom was like you're grounded for two months And I was like, oh, fuck.

And then my younger brother came down the stairs. And my mom would always get on him because he wouldn't shower and his hair was always greasy. And she could tell that his hair was greasy. And she was like, when was the last time that you showered? And he was like, I can't remember. And she was like, you're also grounded for two months. We both got grounded for two months.

Me for plagiarizing him because he couldn't remember when he took his shower. I feel like Cameron never got grounded. I just said that. fucking calming parents, did. That's true. Yeah, I did not. I just didn't do much bad stuff. I was a little shy kid.

Yeah. I didn't do, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't crazy like you guys. That's true. I was crazy. I was crazy in my head, dude. Yeah. Yeah. I had demons that I couldn't let out.

You guys wouldn't understand that. I wanted to sell drugs. There was definitely something I almost, oh. Yeah, I smoked a shit ton of wheat in the, basement. Dude, swag. And I went upstairs and made a bunch of clam chowder, and I was like, oh, wait.

What are you talking about it? So I got, I bought. You made a bunch of clam chowder. Yeah. Yo, I got so hot last night. I made a bunch of clam chowder. What the fuck? I almost got ground.

It was before a parent teacher conference. I smoked a shit ton of weed. And you brought a grocery bag of clam chowder. Hey, you all, y'all want to share. Clam chowder. Family style, you eat it out of a Walmart bag. So it was the night before parent-teacher conferences, and I made a bunch of clam chowder, and I was about to make egg noodles for some reason.

That's a great combo. Yeah, clam chowder and egg noodles. So, that's what I was going to do. Dude, okay. That's what I was going to do. And you got punished for it, dude. So it was like midnight before parent-teacher conferences, so I made a shit ton of it. and then

I think the microwave went off and I was like that shouldn't have happened I was like I was too busy looking at the noodles to realize that the microwave went off and then I went oh no

and it was beeping for like a couple minutes my mom like came downstairs I was ready to like get like she pissed at me and she looked at the fucking clam chowder sitting on the counter and was like oh having a little feast aren't you

and I was like mom went Mende Yeah, dude, she went medieval on my ass. I never got caught with smoking weed because me and my parents I didn't get caught smoking weed at the same exact time. I didn't get caught. She didn't know I was high.

Oh, okay. But she did see that I was eating a bunch of food and was yelling at me for eating all the food and then went to parent teacher conferences the next day expecting to hear something really bad because she was like, oh, now my son's a fuck up. And she was, they went and she's like, yeah, no, he does all the work.

He's just kind of like a piece of. my mom sat me down one day and she was like she she no she texted me while I was out and she was like uh you you boys need to come home because I have something we have to talk about something really important and I was like oh fuck dude her and my stepdad are like getting divorced or something this is serious and I got home and they were like come to the bedroom sit down with us and they were like uh so basically we've been using medical marijuana to deal with our anxiety because I can't find a job The same fucking shit happened

The same shit happened to me Yeah My fucking dad called me And he was like Cameron I just want you to know That I sometimes I'll smoke marijuana Because it calms me down

And I like it And I just wanted you know Because your younger sibling Just found some in the attic And I just didn't I wanted you to hear from me It's like okay dad That's hilarious

And I was in college I also know that it's not For anxiety That was, like, in, like, sophomore year of college. Dude, the fucked up thing is like... That's when we, like, knew each other, too. No, you know, it might have been freshman year, actually, because I think it was pretty soon after my parents got divorced.

Oh, okay. I know that it wasn't for anxiety because now I go home and my stepdad will, like, smoke a bowl and watch Lord of the Rings. And, like, go a puzzle or something. Yeah, he wants to become an Urukai. That's why he smokes weed. But it's just like, just like, just fucking, I don't care, dude. Yeah.

I mean. My parents never, my parents never smoked weed. And then somehow they, they could never tell that I smoked weed, even though, like, they, I mean, they were just so brain dead about it. Yeah. Yeah. They just, oh, dude, I almost got, I almost got caught one time. It's, when, smoking, go on. When I was 14, uh, this is before I realized I just can't smoke weed.

But I, like, went up the fucking word clock, dude. So I'll turn it off after this. But you won't. I won't. So I like, it was like when my sister was like a senior. So my sister, my brother and I were in high school at the same time. And she had her like ex-boyfriend over. And I like went.

I got super high in the basement. I went upstairs and I was going to grab Oreos. And I didn't think that her ex-boyfriend was like. So like my, I was in the basement. Do you want a piece of paper? Yeah, I have to map the set up in my mind But I open the door And he's looking right at me

And my eyes are like just beat red I look at him and I go And just shut the door I ran downstairs further into the basement And he like told Amanda That my like eyes were like super red And they were like I heard them like talking

No dude he's just evil Yeah Yo I think your brother might be the devil I think your brother got possessed Yo! But you're the omen and shit. That was like one of the scariest moments of my life. I was like, yep, I'm about to get caught.

I remember coming home from my friend's house and my mom, at 4 in the morning and my mom being awake. And she was like, what's up? Like, how is, where have you been? I was in high school. And I was like, oh, yeah, I was over at my friend's house. I mean, I was like the highest I've ever been. I was like, I was over at John's house. We were writing like a parody of a sous.

and she was just like okay and she didn't even try to get me dude I couldn't tell her something that was more indicative of the fact that I was just fucked up yeah and she just never I mean one of the tricks

one of the keys to if you're really high and you're trying to hide it from your parents is you just act sad yeah say you had a bad day and then you can just be quiet sorry I shouldn't do that what are you talking about

I can't fucking do that yeah you have tough parents yeah they call me a fucking pansy the F word. Yeah. But is that better than getting grounded? That's the question.

No. What are you talking about? It was grounded. You still have your dignity. Yeah. I've never been on... My mom has never called me faggot. That would hurt so bad.

My mom does as a joke. Yeah. My dad, I think he called me a loser one time when I was bad at football. Damn. Wait. Uh, no. He did, though.

Yeah. Whoops. I think, I think my parents were very disappointed when I stopped playing basketball. Dude. Oh, yeah. I played, I went to one practice in jeans, and I was like, I've never played basketball before in my life. I just realized. I play football.

I know. I know I was just, like, the biggest fucking, like, disappointment to, like, my back is, like, oh, yeah, like, my uncle. Being, like, like, like, my dad being, like, oh, here's a, here's a Boston Red Sox sweats for you to wear to first grade. And then, like, being, like, being, like, like, being, like, like, I like Dittymon. Dude, my uncle, as soon... I just know I caused him so much psychic pain. God damn it. My painsy son, dude.

I still have it. He wants to be a comedian. I still have it, but my uncle, the day I was born, my uncle Jack, my godfather, took a... He had his game... Like, he, I think he was like 18 when I was born. I don't know. I don't remember when he was born.

But he had, like, he had, like, like a game-winning ball from one of his high school football games, and he wrote my name, my date of birth, my weight, like everything. I still have it. It's in my closet. It's a football from the day I was born from one of his game-winning, like, oh, he got the game ball. And I still have that, and I cannot imagine what he thinks to me now. Just like, yeah, this kid's going to grow up, he's going to be a fucking linebacker.

It's like, no. Yeah, he walks in your house, you're using it like a whoopee cushion. Yeah, I played football for like three years. Really? And I was insanely good at it. I wasn't. But I kept getting concussed. I knew.

I got concussed like five times. As a kid? And this is back, like, people talk about like, they're like, back in my day, football was way worse than it is now. Like, people used to leave with their head. That was like 2008. Yeah. Like, it was not that long ago that people did that. One of my cousins.

One of my cousins. quit, it was like a flag football team. One of my cousins quit because the coach was like, use your fucking head. He was like, I'm not going to lead with my head. I'm not going to charge with my head. God gave you that heavy brain for something, buddy. Yeah, you like freaked out at him.

The thing is, I was really good at football because somehow when I was 11, I was six feet tall and I'm 5'9 now. I was fucking huge. You were probably 5.9 at 11, which is 6 feet for an 11. You're a mic just turned off, Pat. Oh, shit. I turned it back on. Why did you turn it up?

It was an accident. Just a flit of the finger. It happened. It was not a time. You definitely were like, oh, here's a switch. It's true. We should get you a staples. That was easy button.

That's true. If any kind of fidget tool we could use for me during the recording. I could never be like the president or anybody who has access to like nuclear codes. I've never been in line at that. I've literally never been in line at Staples and not been like, I'm going to press that button right now in front of everybody. And just ruin their day. Right. Yeah.

Because they get pissed, dude. They're like, we don't, you buy it and then you press it. Yeah. Like, maybe I want to test and make sure it works. Let me run this thing. Just scrolling through every website, just highlighting and unhighlighting every line of text. Like, yeah, you can't give me any, anything that I'm not supposed to click on. Absolutely not, yeah.

That's why Best Buy fucks up by having computers that you can access the internet on. Yeah. You can go on. You can change the background. Yeah. The big thing in my high school was going to the Best Buy at the Manchester Mall, logging into Facebook on it and then using the photo booth app

and then that was your profile picture. I remember when I was really into Harthstone when Harthstone was like big they had like a you could get like bonus packs for like playing on an iPad and I didn't have an iPad so I went to the staples in Harvard Square and I installed Hartsone on their iPads.

I one time put Goatsy on one of the computers at Best Buy. And I was like dude fucking epic dude I'm like anonymous right now. There's a there's a picture of me very young. I'm wearing a... It's called Goosey.

I'm wearing rape a, yeah. The picture of me. You don't want to see it. I'm 11 years old. It's called Goaty. That'd be some fucking asshole for an 11 year old, bro. That thing's seen better days. No, I'm like, I think I'm like 12 or 13, but it's me and my brother's friends, and we're at the Apple store, and I'm wearing the fake Raybans.

Dude, sick. They're wayfarers. I'm wearing those, and I'm wearing a shark-tooth necklace. Oh, yes. Dude, I look pan-toothed necklace in the Boston metropolitan area. I'm in Manchester. It's not even fucking Boston metropolitan. I think it is still.

Yeah, no, there's no fucking, the closest beach is an hour away, and we're in a fucking shark-tooth necklace, dude. That's sick, dude. I looked, I looked cool. My uncle got me a fossilized shark tooth one time. Yeah. Oh, that'll blow your mind. Coolest thing ever, yeah.

He got me arrowheads, too. Ooh. That's a little offensive. Why? Why? Because it's so it's wrong to... And that's the problem. Nobody can tell you why.

Fucking owned. It's a good thing to venerate another culture you respect and that you want to be part of and you want to dress up as on Halloween. Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah. Yeah, my grandpa brought back these Vietnamese eyelids from the war. I mean, you know, am I going to say, No?

What am I going to do? These are perfectly good ears, okay? I'm not going to just throw them away. I'll never throw away a good ear. My grandpa would get so mad at me if I didn't wear his ear necklace to school. You'd think it was disrespectful, dude. Yeah. My grandpa killed a whole village for this, man.

It's fucking 18 ears on this. See how much work goes into that? He's in artisans a lot of time. It was a lot of fucking time. It was from one guy. He was the village monster. My grandpa went to ward the circus. Yeah, he's got a necklace of girl beard hair.

He's got a necklace of clown noses. Dude, I need to check on my grandpa since Trump law. I bet he's not doing well. Yeah, I bet he's doing so badly. He has, like, all the hats. He has the white one. Oh, man. Once you buy the white one, you're going to come back.

The coolest one is the one that, uh, that poopie pie 360 has. Oh, yeah, the, the real tree one? Yeah, that one is cool, yeah. Honestly, that one does kind of look. Dude, anything that has real tree on it, I'm just like I would wear that. It doesn't matter what it says on it. When I, it just looks cool. When Trump, like, first started, like, running, there's a, there's a picture of me in a Trump

shirt because I didn't think he would win. One of my friend, my high school friend's roommate bought one because he was like a serious Trump supporter and I put it on as a joke and I was like, hey guys, check me out. And then like months after like as soon as he got elected

I was like I need to delete that. There's a photo of Noah wrapped in the Confederate flag. I guess that had no nothing to do with Trump being elected. That didn't look good at the time. Yeah, but I does make me laugh sometime. I do remember me and my cousin on, like, the first debate being like,

let's go Trump! Yeah. Let's fucking go. Right, because you don't think that guy's going to fucking win. I mean, and he texted me like when Trump won, he's like, I can't believe it did that. I was like, it's still funny. You know, whatever. It's cool that he's out, but he's out as bisexual.

Guys, Donald Trump is bisexual, and he loves drunk. Yeah, Barron's actually his boyfriend He's his little boyfriend It's not even his son People are like, how do you fucking pop that kid out? You didn't, dude, that's his boyfriend That's his 14-year-old boyfriend He's a fucking, geez, he's a twinker

Twinker Yeah And then he got Malani, got a milfy wife And a fucking twinky little baby fucks The polycule What the hell is wrong with us, dude? We got, we messed up minds, we weird Weird today

List Oh yeah I forgot this is a normal How far are we into the episode? 32 minutes. Can I go pee real quick? No. You can pause it.

You go pee and we won't pause it. No, you can pause it. No, we don't get there. We're actually together so we can pause. All right, fine. I'll pause it. Okay. Cameron, stop touching my penis.

Okay. Yeah, yeah. Ooh, Cameron, stop. Okay, so that happened. We stopped touching his penis. Stop touching my penis. It's something I do to calm down while I'm recording. Animal magnetism, dude.

I'm going to bust. I'm going to come. I'm going to come. I'm going to start doing extremely physical Charlie Chaplin bits on the show. Yeah. Talking told you, dude. No one could hear that. That was just like Charlie Chapman.

That was just like the Charlie Chapman bit where he fell sideways on the chair. You know what? That was more Buster Keaton. I'm going to be honest. True. You were Buster Keaton. Come on. That was more.

sliding off a chair to me. I'll say it... I can be the worst physical comedian of all the time. I'll say it. My S&L audition. Yes, I'm going to be sliding off this chair pretty slowly, honestly.

I really don't want to hurt myself, so... Just no. No laughter? Yeah, I heard that happens. Today's list is weirdest reasons people have filed for divorce. By user misfire. It's strange, but it's true.

These people have filed for divorce for strange and bizarre reasons. number one He didn't share her love of a Disney film Oh my God When did that happen If I married a Disney woman I would get a divorced immediately

A Japanese woman filed for divorce Because her husband didn't share her love of the movie Frozen After persuading her her spouse to watch the film Made the mistake of asking her Did you really think it was that good? Apparently she did And the fact that he could even ask that question Made her question what sort of person he was

She furiously responded If you can't understand what makes this movie great, there's something wrong with you as a human being and filed for divorce after. Unfortunately, it seems that she didn't learn anything from Frozen's biggest musical number. Let it go. I think she did.

Ouch. Big facts. She did let him go. It's about divorcing over a Disney movie and you mentioned Frozen specifically and then Pat goes, that's a kid's movie. Yeah. What the hell?

It's like Disney Kids movie. Watching Frozen, Okay, so whoever fucking, if you're married when Frozen comes out, you're probably past like 23, at least. Would you be happier if it was a Marvel movie? Yes. Okay. All right. Yeah.

I feel like Marvel divorces happen a lot more. No, I feel like the kind of women who marry, assuming it's the guy who likes the Marvel movie and the woman who doesn't. I think the kind of woman who marries the kind of guy who likes Marvel movie. probably is not the kind of, you know, she's probably 14. Yeah, she probably doesn't know any better. Yeah, that's a really good point. Yeah, she probably, she's probably used to be like,

Oh, my, my man's in his man cave again watching Captain Marvel. Yeah. Yeah. He's watched it three times this week. That woman is probably like a... Never picked up Black Panther for whatever reason. It's probably like a pizza rolls maker. He said we could skip it.

Hey, we don't even have to watch that one. I hear it's bad. CGI is just terrible in that movie. That's like a made snacks for my gamer hubby. Yeah, true. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

Marvel husband is a gamer hubby too. Yeah. But he's only playing the Avengers game, the Square Enix, the Squeenix. The new one? Yeah. The one that they lost like $100 billion on. Because who's going to fucking... Yeah.

They made a Spider-Man game that was good and they were like, oh, everyone's going to want to do Avengers. And it's like, no, the Spider-Man was good. Literally that game, the first hour of that game, you just... just play as like a girl walking around a convention center and you're like oh that's cool it's fucking yeah you're like oh it's cool you're it's thor oh that's cool it's iron man you don't get to play as adventures for like an hour amazon was doing like uh whenever you order from amazon for a while they would send you in a package that was just like it was just

the whole package was an advertisement for avengers so you would like get like i ordered uh what did i fucking order might have been these headphones or something but it was literally like it came made a package and was like, did they send me Avengers for PlayStation? Because it just says Avengers and just has the fucking Avengers pictures all over it. They did that with the minions too. They like minions. Minions, they made a lot of money on them. Yeah, I mean,

minions made fucking money, but the Avengers game did not make... What was the... When we were growing up, did you see the... Was there a minion style thing? Like an IP that was just so fucking popular? Um... Yeah. There definitely was. I can't think of it off the top of my head. Rugrats. What am I thinking? No. No, Rugrats

was not as big as the minions. But I think when we were growing up, it was probably like... Mr. Meady. I think Minions is probably the first thing. It occupied the same, like, space that Minions does, though. It was being in, like, old people's, like, minions. It was still Tweety Bird at that point. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Tweety Bird was just everlasting. Yeah. There's no, like, like, fucking rank... Like, they were waiting until, like, CGI, like, the 3D animation was good enough to make a minion. Yeah. And they tried with Rango.

They tried with fucking... It was the mine seagulls from finding Nemo. Oh, you're right. Oh, yeah. You might be right, yeah. Well, yeah, that's the thing. Pixar could never do what the minions did. Maybe Napoleon Dynamite.

It's definitely true. Pixar could never... Yeah. Pixar characters aren't cute. There's a response to this one from user Boris rule. Woody and Buzz have swag. It says, yep, made a post about it

on my idiotic people blog. series Disney fans in a nutshell What the heck? What is this? Disney 1994 wants to know your location. Number two, he was just too nice. That's every time I get divorced.

Classic story did. Yeah. Every breakup I've ever had. Yeah, it was too nice. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I was too nice with it. I was literally too good at eating pussy.

Geez, top comment. I was too good at singing or nah. by Ty Dalla's son. Yeah, the weekend verse. I was just fucking, I just hit every no. My bad. Hey, my bad, bitch. Yeah.

My bad, sorry you can't accept me for who I am. Yeah. You don't fucking let me lick your flip or dick or nah. Whatever that line is. You don't let me lick and flip your tits or not. Or nah. Oh, nah. I'm gonna bouncy w bouncy in you.

I'm gonna fucking jump on you right now. We were doing in the car, him just like losing the voice in the middle of the verse he's like you gonna let me flab your I'm sorry I feel like he has to talk in that voice yeah hey what's up hey it's me the weekend yeah yeah but it's it gets confusing because I'll walk up to someone and he'll be like nice to meet you I want to bounce on your pussy like a bubblegum trampoline. Oh, sorry. That's from the song I meant to say hello.

Just making sure you know who I am. I'll take my mail. Thank you. Welcome to the post office. Top comment on this one is from Metal Treasure and says, well, maybe the woman just needed a wife beat her to make her happy. What? I'll step up.

No. Yo, if I got to. He means the article of. clothing. No, he doesn't. He does. Come on me. Randomator comments, what the hell?

Don't women want nice guys? No. You buddy eat Randomator? Here, sit down. Let me teach you something about the word. Let me learn your thing too. We're going to start with a Niga Higa song. Randomator is 18.

You really threading the needle with that pronunciation. That's the, you want to go soft eye? That's way worse. What? You say it. You, you. Come on, man. It says here the randomator is 18, and the display name is blog posts matter.

Yes, dude. BPM, bro. No. Blog posts matter, dude. That's sick. Number three. Oh, Patrick's skipping into the kitchen. I don't think there's any more drinks.

Dude, I absolutely swagged on Pat right there. Number three. I was so genius for knowing things. She couldn't handle the size of her husband's penis. Yeah, that's a pretty good, like, fake excuse for break. Oh, your penis, dude, honestly, your penis was just too big. It made me bleed. Whoa.

Ah, you tore my shit up. God damn it, you tore my shit up again. Yeah, I think that's kind of, that's kind of copy, yeah? I wouldn't have a problem with that because my penis is small and then cries in asterisks. Facts. Big facts. bags. And randomators back in this one.

Okay, hold up. First, women want guys with some size down there, and now there's people complaining that a guy's you know what is too big. What the hell? Guess that's women in a nutshell for you. Make up your mind, you stupid bitches. Come on. Do you want a humongous dick? Do you listen, do you want my one inch penis or my 100 foot long penis? Okay, I've got two of them. Do you want a baby dick or do you want a fucking light pole in your pussy? Come on. You want. Light bulb. A light pole

Once you put it in, you can't take it out of it. Yeah. Yeah. They might like that. No. A light bulb? You don't think so? No, a woman would not like a light bulb up or...

You would know? Yeah, yeah, because you would know it when you want. Not. I do. I got all the powers from that Mel Gibson movie. No, you didn't. Passion of the Christ. I thought you're talking about the beaver one.

Yeah, that too. What's that called? Exactly, the beaver one. The beaver one. I learned everything there is to know about the beaver from Mel Gibson. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Number four, he voted Trump for president.

Hmm. Here we go. All right. It's a little too early, you know. Yeah. Let's, let fucking dead doves die. You guys want to talk about the election for the rest of the episode? Let's go.

Yeah. I feel like we've started. That's fucking, is it throwing his jewel like a, like he's bowling at his white clock hands? I'm practicing for Wii ball. bowling later. You have a wee, Caleb? Sorry, a wee.

He has a wee, wee. Two wees. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would do, if my husband voted for Trump, I would divorce him. Yeah. I'll say it.

I'm not afraid. Me or Cameron voted for Trump. Do you break up the podcast? Probably talk to you guys. What do you say? Yeah, let's have the, okay. I'd say, no. I voted for Trump.

Patrick, I voted for Trump. Okay. How about this? That's a good talk. I voted for Trump. I believe it. No. Did you either of you guys vote?

I did. I didn't, did. Come on. I didn't vote. I voted green. I went Patrick's tie. Dude, swag. Irish.

I didn't. I voted for the green party because it was calling to me. I didn't vote. And if anybody asked me, I'll tell them that it's because I live in New York and it doesn't matter. But I'm registered in North Carolina. Could have actually mattered. Last election, I just said I voted for the woman, and that meant Jill Stein. Yeah.

I voted because I thought there was some public service police department shit on the ballot, but I guess it wasn't on this ballot. Yeah. I just, dude, New Hampshire, there was literally, the fucking district I was in was just like all Trump. Like, I looked at the ballot results, and it was literally like by a thousand votes, Trump. So my vote really didn't matter, even if I did vote. well it could have been a thousand and one who knows it's true

you know might as well run up the numbers right yeah yeah I'm just glad fucking corny you want to win you want to win I got a text from my mom yesterday where she was like ohmg Biden won awesome oh yeah do you want to see the picture my mom sent me when they called it for Biden

yeah I showed Patrick yeah it's pretty good let me show you this here I'll show you guys mine too are you guys you're gonna show me your thing my mom fucking hates Joe Biden I'm gonna scroll This is the picture my mom sent me. What the fuck? It's a dinosaur saying all yeah.

It's a dinosaur with a party hat, breathing fire, and it says, oh, yeah. I don't even know where she got this. Yeah, what did this? She got that off her phone. It came with the phone. Did she Google, like, birthday dinosaurs? This is my family group chat when it happened.

The Joker? Oh, that's you. Okay, I thought you were. My mom said, Joe Biden is President-elect, and I sent a Joker giff. She said, oh, stop it. And then J.E. Devil Speed said, Caleb loves Joe Biden. He even made a video about it. Yeah. He's kind of telling on me there.

Yeah. Whatever. Do your parents not know about that video? Fuck no. Damn, my parents know about that video. Yeah, dude. I told your mom about it. You have crazy parents.

That's true. Your parents definitely check your phone every night when you're sleeping. No, they don't. Yeah, they do. My parents never checked my stuff. No, you think. Really? That's just what you think.

My parents never checked my stuff. They check about it. not to check and make sure you're doing anything bad, but just to laugh about it while you're sleeping. Yeah, just be like, our son, we're so proud of our son being weird. They are too proud of me. That is funny, yeah.

My family, too, my parents are like, hey, I'm so proud of him. We don't know what he's doing, but he has asked for money ever, so we're okay. Yeah, number five, he saw her without makeup. Oh, that's a fake story. Just days after her marriage, A 28-year-old Arab bride was dumped by her 34-year-old husband after he saw her with no makeup.

Apparently, the man felt that his wife had deceived him with cosmetics. The couple's engagement lasted for six months. She did one of those Tim Burton makeup tutorials. Yeah, she looked like Jack Skellington. He only ever saw her on a black background. He's like, he looks just like Jack Skelland. Beautiful round head. Jesus Christ.

Perfect skull. Matt Afterburner comments, from what I heard with the triple talak a man in the Middle East can divorce his wife just by saying talak three times for whatever reason. This is just one. Beetlejuice status. Okay. That's

good to know. The triple talak. I'm keeping that in the back of my wife. You have to go in the bathroom and say talak three times. Your wife gets sucked into the mirror. She becomes the next bloody Mary. Number six, he found her secret love

letters from the 1940s. What does that say? I can't read that from here. A 99-year-old Italian man divorced his wife of 77 years after he stumbled across letters she had written to a secret lover in the 1940s. The wife confessed to having an affair 60 years ago and then desperately tried to persuade her husband to stay, but he just wasn't having it. What's the statute of limitations for you guys on an affair? For me, it's a fair. Probably eight.

Probably that. Probably that amount of time. 60 years? Yeah, 60 years. 60 years. 60 years is like, hey. But 59 years? 59 no

I mean No fucking way It's like It's the point If I'm if I'm 99 years old I'm not gonna I'm not gonna care about divorcing my wife You know what I mean?

He's not thinking about the fact that he'll never get pussy again did Yeah Yeah His thing doesn't work This dude I mean he's probably The strain of signing the divorce papers Is gonna take it like the last

Dyes in the office of the law I don't need the stress of Filing for divorce Right 99 years old and Italian I would have just been like, okay, now I get to fuck an 18-year-old because you did that. Okay, this is on you. Listen, you did that, so here it goes.

I'm going to fuck it. It's only fair. I'm going to fuck some only fans who are one right now. What are their seven, 250-pound 40-year-old children going to think, dude? That's a good point. It's going to break their hearts. Yeah, they're going to be like, what? They're going to be like, what?

They're going to be like, what? You'll be like, W-T-F. Excuse me? Excuse me. excusey Realistically that's what they'd say That's true Number seven he was cleaning too much

Yeah Okay well if somebody was cleaning too god damn much You'd probably Probably Probably knock their block off I mean probably Maybe doing it to avoid his bitch wife Yeah

Yeah they didn't They didn't mention I've angry vacuum before I'm not gonna fucking lie like I have I've never cleaned when I'm angry I fucking take this dust They didn't mention that he was He's cleaning his wife

That was the problem. He was vacuuming his old body. You need to, you need to, I'm going to rub you down with this. I'm getting you prepared. I'm trying to get you a job. Stink. Let me get the vacuum. I'm trying to get you a job as one of those naked women that they serve sushi off of. You have to be as clean as possible.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he was cleaning out all her photo albums. He's cleaning out her wallet. Trash, trash, trash. Oh, your purse is so dirty on the inside. I got to get rid of this stuff. Or showing her a $100 bill and pointing to Ben Frang.

Be like, who's there? Who is this man? Who is this guy? What is he doing in your wallet? Why do you have a picture of this fucking guy in the wallet? Oh, and this is his phone number, 100? Let's give a call. I'm going to dial it right now.

Oh, looks like someone got wise. Says it disconnected. Number eight, he refused to shower. An Egyptian woman filed for divorce when her husband refused to shower for eight weeks according to the husband he could not bathe because of a skin disease which made him allergic to water

however while a doctor did confirm he had a skin disease he had it he said it had nothing to do with water he was in the shower I hear of reading voice

is so funny because you can tell you're just checking every one every time you say a word you're checking if it's the end of the sentence. I can't help that. I don't know how to read. An Egyptian woman filed for divorce. From her husband?

Yeah. What's the long as you've gone without a shower? Me? A hundred years. What do you mean? There's two of you. Either of you. I didn't know.

I'm not asking. In what world would I be like, only Pam? Take a fucking minute off. Pat, how long have you gone without taking a shower? Well, okay, if you're asking me now, probably like five days.

That's not that crazy. Yeah. No, no, I, my routine used to be I would shower as soon as I woke up. I think when I went, like, camping for a while, it was probably two weeks. A few years when I was

taking baths? Just like, you fucking bleak. You're a trickster, dude. Yeah. I don't know. Probably, yeah, probably like, a week or so there's probably but there's

yeah I don't like showering no I don't like it anymore I like shower but now that I have long hair it I don't like having to let my hair dry and I since I cut my hair my shower has decreased in time yeah yeah yeah I remember when I cut when I

cut my hair like pretty short for me and I was just like damn it's I'm in and out of the shower for like three years now I can jack off way faster hair right when I shaved my my head completely bald. I just like sometimes... Yeah, you just jump in the shower, jump out.

Fucking pits and tits and I'm out. You don't even have to dry your head when you're hair. I got to wash my winky. I hold the hole open and let a stream from the shower. Well, I got skin there, so I got to... True. You actually do have to do some work. I do have to, yeah, you have to do some maintenance. Thank God I'm a Christian.

You get one of those water jets from a dentist office. Yeah. I spray the water pick at my wiener. And then you also have one that sucks the one. water back up I close the hole up and I just can't keep the water That's a good idea

You got a vicar hole? You got a Velcro hole? That's not a bad idea. Dude, imagine if you could shave like your pubs so they were Velcro and then you could stick it to something else that was Velcro.

I'm almost certain you could put a piece of Velcro on your piece and it would stick. That's probably true, but if he was like actually Velcro. Wouldn't that be cool? Wouldn't that be weird? Wait, let me think about this for a second. Yeah, that would be fucking awesome, dude. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Why would I get stuck to? Probably your mouth. Just stuck in the carpet. Yeah. And then you go ahead. I'll be, I'll be a couple minutes late. Yeah. I do think sometimes... He's trying to do a push-up. I do think sometimes about a guy like falling over and his, like, like, If you fell over and your penis

got stuck in like a warm hole in the ground probably takes you a minute to get up, you know? Yeah. You're probably like, what kind of could stay here for a bit? Oh, fuck, I must have pulled something. I'm gonna be... I'll be a little late.

You guys go ahead on the hike. I'm gonna sit here. I'm sorry, I'm trying to pull myself up here. It seems like I'm being sucked in by something. Oh, God, this hole has a vacuum seal. Yeah, fire it! It's a volcano Would you fuck a volcano?

If I was God. Yeah. If I was God, duh. There's like the Chappelle show Godzilla sketch. He fucks the volcano. And I remember watching that when I was younger and being like... It awoken something in you? No, I was like, why would he fuck the volcano? His penis would burn off.

Here it is fire in his mouth. That's true. It's actually not fire. I didn't consider it about... Tomic Ray. Now I brought up Godzilla and now Cameron's not going to be able to talk for the rest of the episode. I just need to correct something really quick. Okay?

He said something that was wrong. I'm not going to just like... Well, all right. Number fucking whatever. Number nine. She won the lottery and wanted to keep the money all to herself. That's a good reason. Yeah, that's a very...

Yeah, absolutely good reason. Yeah, it's a fine enough reason. I just won $10 million and, uh... Yeah, I'm keeping it. Have you seen that video of the... It's the... and nephew and the... Oh, yeah, I think I have seen this video.

It's the aunt and the nephew, no. Yeah, it's good, dude. That's a good one. Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah. And, like, the aunt finds out at the lottery office that they are sharing their winnings, and she goes, it's not what I agreed to. Why are they sharing their winnings?

Because I think she bought the ticket, and then he scratched it for her. So she went down to the office with the nephew and was like, yep we won together and then the uh they brought out like two checks or something oh yeah yeah and then yeah and then she freaks the fuck out yeah damn it's a really good video that's fucked up dude i just kill my nephew take the money right there i mean yeah kill my nephew in the yeah i'm doing a cane and able to kill anybody for money okay yeah okay number 10 i think is the uh is the most justified one so far yeah she was possessed by the devil That's fucking clear cut, dude

An Italian man has been granted a divorce By claiming his wife is possessed by the devil Apparently she displayed inexplicable Behavior Yeah Including fits, body stiffening And even self levitation Whoa

Self levitation, that's pretty cool Yeah, I would I would marry him all over again Yeah, damn Let's just go renew our vows I didn't realize you were some levitating ass po You took your vows in midair If you levitate

If you levitate while you're renewing your vows it doesn't you're technically not on land so yeah it doesn't count yeah

it severes your connection to earth spirit you can't get married in water no no what do you think you think it's a mermaid

yeah tell that to a mermaid oh you already said that tell that to some crabs yeah yeah it's a bastion

tell that to the fish yeah tell that to dolphins yeah yeah dolphins are like say some more say some more

say some more say some more in water yeah Yeah, tell that to a guy and a girl in a bathtub. Yeah, tell that to two boats and love each other. Yeah, sure. Yeah, sure. Tell that to the Atlantic and the Pacific Oceans.

They hate each other, actually. They're married, though. Yeah, it's an East Coast, West Coast rivalry. Livalry. I got some white claw stuck in my throat. You get some white cloth stuck in your brain, brother. Yep. I'm going to put my white claw on your throat.

You better not. I'm the white claw. Clair. Cameron has a clown. His claw on your brain. Yeah. She was possessed by the devil. No. Number 11, he didn't have Raymond on his Animal Crossing Island. Yeah, that's not real. Shut up! I don't know anything about it. Number 12. I never played Animal Cross. He talked too much. I would, if you, I would divorce somebody if they talked too much. He played too much. He played too much? I'm divorcing you because you just play way too much.

you're too much of a you're playing way too much yeah listen you work hard but you play way too hard straight up you're weird harder than you work yeah your play work balance is out of whack but divorce divorce is so strong like that's such a like strong repudiation of love yeah so what do you what do you guys divorce over do what do I divorce if I don't want to be married yeah wow probably probably Homicide. Double D's. Yeah, that's right.

Double D's next door, peace. I'll see you later. Yeah. Double homicide. Caleb's paradox is when you're, is when they're two women who live on either side of you

with double D's, and you keep getting divorced and remarried over and over. You're trapped in an infinite loop. Yeah, that would be a nightmare. That would be so awful. Oh, my God, I would hate that. Oh, no.

Diddy bitches right next to each other? Oh, man. Wait, and they're twins, too? Oh, Cameron, you just said that. Oh, no. No, please no. Oh, fuck. The Caleb dilemma.

What if you marry one twin and you get to fuck the other? Dude, can I get a high five or what's up, dude? What if a pizza guy had no money? What if the lady... Mm-hmm. Yes? What if a lady had wanted pizza? Well...

Okay. I'm not feeding her. Go on. Come on. You're joking. Go on. Do you guys want to get pizza after this? No.

Maybe. I had pizza already. I might have a slice or something. I had frozen pizza last night. I had frozen pizza last night. You said already, I assume, today. Yeah. Yeah.

That's a lot different. I was going to say yesterday, but I just stopped it already. Well, because then it makes no sense that you won't eat pizza two days in a row. I just don't want to I mean we can I'll just I'll just hate you forever That's Caleb's dilemma Yeah

That's the true That's the real dilemma Yeah I'll get I'll get pizza All right Sounds good I mean if you guys really like hate me that much Pizaz

We'll have to find something that's open If it's not Pia Shut up dude Number 13 he was clinging Hey remind you of anybody Cameron I'm not clinked Don't say that

You just tried to Call him clinging, eat my pizza. Don't say, I didn't try. I said I didn't want to eat your pizza. Oh, never mind. Me. I'm the clinger. You try to get me to come to your house all the time.

That's true. Yeah, you're right, I am cling. You guys never want to come to my house. Yeah, we do. It's because your parents are there. That's true. I always say I want to come to your house. Wait, your parents are there?

Yeah. We should get a Pat's house. Wait, is your mom one of your parents? she's so gorgeous i hope she listens to this she's probably gonna wow dude she's so beautiful don't say that i tried to blow her kiss today she gave me the finger yeah well you guys were you peeing at cams house i blew her kiss and she went she gave me the finger dude what kind of woman does that to a beautiful she doesn't like you she loves me dude yeah she's my best friend she likes me right she likes me right i don't know she likes me right can you tell her to like me if my mom

likes you were not. Can you tell her to like me? She thinks I'm a bad influence. She does. Yes. Bad boy? My mom thinks you're in. My dog went crazy when Patrick came in my house today. Because you look like a milk bone. Yeah. I don't look like a milk bone. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You smell like one. Because you look like with that hat and that that facial hair, you just look like a robber from a movie. True. Yeah. I did. When I first shave my head bald, I wore my black beanie all the time. The one that I still have. today and my medals, my friend's medals teacher told me I look like Joe Pesci and Home Alone. Yeah. You should just start

walking around dressing all stripes with a giant burlap bag over your shoulder. That'd be so fucking funny. That would be funny. And a black beanie. Yeah. Yeah. I would not be not funny. It's not a bad look. All right. All right. I think we're done, yeah. I got to eat something.

Yeah, me too. Bye y'all. Bye.