Podcast About List - Ep. 125 - The 1st Annual PAL vs E1 Robin Williams Memorial Riff-Off (w. Episode One)

Episode Date: November 25, 2020

we are joined by andrew (@intellegint) branson (@necrobranson) and charles (@charlesraustin) to talk shit and go nuts. make sure you go listen to the other half of this crossover on episode one's feed. You can follow them on twitter at @e1podcast and we love them and they love us.  subscribe to www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist

You're listening to Israel's number one podcast. All right now, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. You're any crap monster. Oh, my God, dude. You're in our house now, dude. Oh, you're fucking... Welcome to Boston, boys. Yeah.

We have all of you want in Boston right now. Welcome to fucking Boston, kid. We have them in Boston. We're taking them to all the landmobile. Marks. Yeah. This is where a bunch of guys got shot in the 1700s. Okay, here's another place where a bunch of guys got shot in the 1700s.

Here's a church. All right, that pretty much covers it. Let's go. In this neighborhood, the white guys are really mean. And this one, they're really racist against the black guys who don't live here. They're racist, but they still voted blue, baby. Let's go. That's right, dude.

Democratic Boston. This whole neighborhood has never. forgiven an imaginary black guy for saying Larry Byrd wasn't that good. They just get mad in their head. Larry Burr, greatest to ever fucking do it, dude. Come on. You're better than fucking Jordan, for sure. Better than fucking Jordan. I bet he's, he's taller in Yao Ming. Look, he fucking understood the fundamentals, all right?

Yeah. He's a little... The fundamentals, push-ups, pull-ups, six-pack of beer every night. That's the fucking fundamentals of the game, kid. board shirts. He's got a fucking cock like a summer sausage in there. That thing would bounce around. It would bruise other guys' legs when they went to the block of him, you know?

Had him on the shoulder. They'd be, what the fuck would this come from? It was his cock. It was the guy's cock. And Larry Bird. Larry fucking bird, he was the king of shit talking, too. He fucking, he told everybody hey, get out of my way. That's all he said. That's all he needed to say the word. Uh-huh. You know what? He fucking, you know, he fucking conked IBS. That's

an achievement. Yeah. I got an aunt that just looks just like him. that looks just like. He looked like a fucked-up Mubbitt, dude. I miss him. I miss him every single day. Larry legend. They don't have handsome guys like that in the NBA anymore.

No, he's, he had that kind of old school. No, he's got nothing on Larry Bird. Oh, no. He looked like, uh... Bird looks like 007, dude. He looked, I mean, he was a fucking... He was a Casanova, Stone Cold Killer. I mean, now he's got HIV.

And Larry Barney. He looked like a young Bryce Dallas Howard. Larry Byrd was so handsome. He could have been on the O.C. He should have been on the O.C. I don't know why it wasn't. Yeah. I mean, and nowadays, you got guys in the NBA like Tyrell, hello, you know?

And it's like... Oh, I love Tyrell, hello. Yeah, I mean, he's one of the best in the game right now. I don't know why game... He's named that chick James Charles. They will claim. Oh, man, James. That chick is so hot, dude.

Oh, my God. Flyer than a motherfucker. Look at the ass on this. bitch she hangs out there Shane Dawson that guy gets so much pussy that guy gets so much that's insane those YouTube guys they let Shane Dawson into the bubble he was foaming at the mouth

he was saying oh I need pussy now give me pussy yeah he's bringing Instagram thoughts in and they were fucking sucking his dick on live okay that's how much of a boss this guy is Shane Dawson this dude this dude's borderline criminal with how much

pussy he gets and the way he gets it I mean, save some for us, man. You remember that, that orange drink or purple drink crush? Donald Trump. That was named after Shane Dawson, because that's all he does is he crushes. Yeah, crushes tank till it's purple. And his penis is orange and purple. He actually coined the term pussy when he was fucking one.

He's like, this thing feels good. This is like fucking pussy to me, man. He's been on YouTube like 10 years, and that's when that started. It was the whole... He's the first guy to say pussy. He was the first guy to say, she. Yeah. Dude, it's Coutter about to make me fucking bust.

See, before Pussy was all, everybody's saying Cooter. Cooter. I was trying to get some fucking Cooter. Cooter. Snatch. He-ha. Coo. I'm on the crowd. Cudor. Yeah. Piss pocket. Uh-huh. And all these kids, these zoomers, they're going around talking about getting clown, getting tune.

Yeah. Bro, I got some fucking clown last night. What's up? And then like, dude. I got some sick Doberman last night. Put my tube in the he hole. You know, they're saying all that shit. The new one I heard is Stoge, getting some Stoge. This all sounds like 1920s shit.

Yeah. Stoge is definitely. Oh, man, we were necking last night, and I put my thing in her stooge. Getting some Larry, get some Larry, get some Curly. Get some Lerie. Oh, man, I got some Shemp last night. Ooh, got some Mo Larry and Curly, bro. Or she gave me Larry, then she gave me Mo.

She gave me Curly, and I'm ready to go. That'd be, like, the greatest juicy Jay song Damn, I got that, I got that Curly Joe, I'm telling you. Yeah, she gave me that Jerry Lewis, don't what I'm saying? Yeah, dude. She had me saying, lady! Yeah. Oh, fuck. Did we introduce you guys? I guess it doesn't matter.

No. It's episode one. We won't do it. We think you guys like to have fun here. There's just some dudes, you know? It's just some dudes. He's some guys going at it, you know. He met these guys at the model in Alston. This is like, what this is.

These are some Boston guys we picked up. People are going to be so excited for this, because this is like the back table at the comedy cellar right now. Mm-hmm. Just like Green Room with Paul Prevenza. This is like Green Room with Paul Provenza. This is like Green Room by Jeremy Solnier. This is like the movie Green Book.

Because at least half the people in here are Nazis. We're backstage at the Boston Garden. Yeah. Madison Square Garden. Yep. In Madison Square Garden in Boston. This is comedians and cars getting top. Yeah.

Oh. Hell yeah. Do comedians hang out in their cars after the comedy show? Every single time, dude. We do a set at the fucking pissing donkey, and then you hop in a, hop in your fiat. A rap four. Yeah. Yeah.

It's where you bring a couple of cuties in the backseat, a couple groupies. Yeah. And we all watch a DVD on the flip-down DVD player. Sorry, babe. The seatbelts are broke. Hey, we're going to watch the elf special. features in the back of my RAV-4 You just want to come?

You want to get in the back of the safari. We're going to be watching small soldiers. I'm going to be fucking you. I got a plug-and-play Gallagher joystick in the back of the Honda Pilot if you want to come and hang out. In my early years, I was actually like a comedy groupie just like waiting for people to do shows

and going out to the RAV-4 after, like 10 years ago. Yeah. And, you know, I still do it. it, but, like, I'm not really much of a groupie because there's not a lot of comedy going on. So I'm just kind of like an old slut, I guess. Okay. Yeah.

So do you give them... There's one of those classic sluts. Do you give them whole? I give them stooge. You give them stooge? Well, I give them bottom stooge. I don't give top stooge. No, I mean, that's not ladylike.

Yeah, no. No, because, you know, like, it's like the difference between Hustler magazine and Playboy magazine. It's top and bottom. I was getting that alfalfa. I was getting that spank. I was getting that Elmer Fudd from her last night I never give up that stymie

Dude I saw her gremlins and her gremlins too I saw the new batch god damn She's got a whole new girlfriend she was begging for the little E.T you know what I'm saying? I phoned her home What's up? I went in there she went Ouch My shit too big

Listen, if you're listening to this All you need to know Is we all have a lot of sex With a lot of different people Amen All the time Amen You got her in the back of the car

With that TV And you're making out and stuff And she's trying to show you her boobs and stuff You're like, yo, you play Mario Kart That's what I did She's trying to show your boobs You say, shut the fuck up. John Favreau's making a Cubano right now.

I don't want to see those disgusting tits. What the fuck? What do you think I'm 13 years old? I'm watching chef, bitch. Oh. Sophia Bergarra's in this. You think I'm thinking about you? In the back seat of Andrew's...

I would never use that word. I would never use that word for a woman. I wouldn't say that. Caleb said that, but... Veragara? You don't know Spanish. That's why, bitch. In the back of Andrew's Subaru outback,

he likes to time his orgasms with the point in small soldiers where the Gorgons die. Is that a thing that happens in that movie? Do you actually know that movie? I think one of them dies. Okay, Charles, listen to something. You got Archer.

He's the emissary of the Gorgonites. He's not the leader. It's the emissary. You have slam fist. You have Insaniac. You have Punch it. You have... Can you close your eyes

so I can tell if you're reading or not? You have Freakenstein. Then on the... I think there's a couple of others. He's not reading. You have the Commando Elite, which is Major Chip Hazard, Brick Bazooka, Nick Nitro, Butch Meat Hook, Kipp Killigan, and I think that might be it. I'm sure Andrew already knows this.

You got Dennis Leary, you got David Cross. You have who's a guy who's a guy by his wife. It marks the last on-screen film role of Phil Hartman who died months before the film's American premiere. That's true, yeah. You have Carson Dunst, who is the love interest of the main character, Alan Avernathy, who is a little bitch. And you know she gave up. Because his dad had this sick,

his dad had this sick toy shop, like toy trains and everything. Like the sickest toys of all time. He's like, these toys are gay. And then, like, he discovers the toys that had accidental nuclear missile chips

put in them by accident, so it made them alive. Is that actually what happened? Yeah. I don't remember a fucking thing. And, like, the big wig is Dennis Leary. Yeah. The king of comedy.

Exactly. The king of Boston comedy. He still does comics. He does comics come home every single year in Boston. Where he fills the Boston Garden or the TD Garden, which fits like 30,000 people. He fills about 800 people into it and gets all of his road openers and then Wanda Sykes. It was not from Boston. He's like, oh, isn't this the most amazing comedy show in the world?

He's still doing like coffee stuff like skinny jeans and Starbucks and man, what the fuck? Small soldiers for a movie about soldiers that had a lot of coffee material. You're just, well, how come are they, where do you get a black coffee? Yeah, they're like going over the plans and he's drinking a coffee. He's like, God, did you put milk and sugar in this, you homo? What the fuck is this? And I had a friend go to Boston or comics calling home or coming home or whatever, and he told me that all the transitions were him just like repeating like the comics jokes

and then be like, wasn't that great? Anyway, here's the next comment. He's a man, dude. Leary's the fucking boss. Oh, but... If you were really a boss, though, he would say their punch lines before they come out.

Right, yeah. With his mic in the back, yeah. Like a hype man? Yeah. True. Yeah, he's like Flav of Flav. I'm sure Andrew already knows this because he fucking rattled off

all the small soldier shit, but the rodeo burger at Burger King. Uh, amazing. The rodeo burger... Barbecue sauce. That was... Fried onions. It has the fried onions rings, right?

That was created as a promotional item for small soldiers. They still have it. It's still there. It's so good that they fucking have to keep it on the menu. It'd be funny if they named it like the Gorgon Burger and they used to call it that forever. They should have just kept small soldiers in theaters all these years as a promotion for the burger. Right.

Well, I think they should have, like, Dina's Philanueva makes Small Soldiers too. I think that's the next big thing. That'd be great. Oh, yeah. Well, soldiers had like one of the best uses of, one of the classic movie songs of all time. Who? Edwin Starr's Yeah

That used to be I would go from the open mic that we hosted I would go from there to the Burger King up the road And I would just get like a rodeo burger And then go home So far Can I get a small soldiers toy with that too I know you have them in the back

Can I have the Small Soldier's burger please The Burger King I haven't had in years Because like everything they make You like burp it up for like two days and when you shit, it smells like it too. Yeah. And it's just so gross. And then you get hungry for more Burger King

because you're smelling the Burger King in the bathroom. Yeah, so nice to butter the buns. I don't like that. I don't like that at all when they butter the buns. They should do a, they should do a Dennis Leary burger, and it's just a black coffee and a condom that they hand you in a bag. Actually, right now, I'm drinking this porter over here. Do you think I can become the Dennis Leary?

Could I be the Dennis Leary of porters where I'm like, coconut porter? What happened to just a porter? Is this still space for that laying in a fucking vacation while I drink my beer? What the fuck? I think Dennis Leary just hates adjectives. I think that's just his whole thing. Oh, baby Yoda.

What the hell happened to Yoda? Okay? Back in my day, we were happy with an old creepy green pig man. Yeah. And now we used to be a little green guy. Now he's even smaller? Now he's a smaller green guy. I don't think that he's like that current still.

I think he's like that irrelevant where he was like, I saw the other day, does they have this fucking thing called Second Life? Yeah, that's the exact era that he's locked into is like mid-2000. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I can't wait until we're all that old and we're all that watch. I'm trying to get a trying to get a spot on equals three. He's still doing he's still doing material on the failed NBC show

The Slat. Have you seen the Slap? Look, it's based off an Australian show. I don't know what the fuck's going on down There, their toilets turn different. How about your toilets turn normal? What's a mini series?

What's a mini series? You watch it on a motor roller razor? What the fuck in a show we're doing? Caleb, your audio's all fucked up. Yeah, Caleb, you're freezing. You keep freezing over and over. He's got that classic New York Wi-Fi. It's my spectrum Wi-Fi, dude.

People get mad at me because it's bad. I got to switch to fire it. Turn off your video or something. You better shut up. I just switched to you. Yes, sir. You guys keep talking. switch to this.

Yep, yep, yep, yep. That's going to disconnect you. No, I won't. Trust me. It doesn't, I don't trust him. Trust him. I don't trust him. I don't trust him.

I don't trust him. I'm a tech god. Hold on. Yeah, see, your audio just changed. I'm about to, I didn't even do a single thing, Patrick, so that's how I know you're lying. Yes. It's louder. Yeah, you did get louder.

It's better. It's just louder. Anyway, back to Dennis Leary, right? Yeah. Dennis Leary is, he's like, he's like, saw the. they still got these fucking Survivor shows going. Remember Survivor? The guy walked around on Nick with his cock out. Richard? Remember him? What happened to him? Is he dead? Is he in jail?

Nah, fuck it. Isn't Bill Burr just Dennis Leary now? Dennis Leary is still? But Bill Burr is. Yeah, he loves the bitch, too. Yeah, they just complain, right? And I'm back. Easy. Yeah, fucking easy. Wait, who's that guy from Survivor? Richard Hatch? Yeah, Bill Burr. Yeah, my mom met that guy.

I remember being a kid, and that was going on, I remember being a kid, and that was going on, I was like, you see this guy on Survivor that walks around naked? He's so hot. They all wanted to fuck him. My mom got a picture. My mom has a picture with Richard Hatch, and I thought it was, I didn't, never seen Survivor. And I didn't learn who he was until I was like 16. I don't think you were born yet. I was like six, maybe, maybe like four. I don't know. But still like, yeah, like it's. He was a gay guy, right? He walked around naked and he won a, he won a Subaru or something. He wanted an Emmy for walking around naked. Whoa. He walks around in public with the Emmy in front of his cock. Yeah.

That's how he avoids public nudity laws. Right. And anyway, yeah. Hey, what's next Survivor Mars? You say, let's try to go to Mars? Yeah, I just thought Richard Hatch was an uncle I didn't know for a long time. Everybody's so familiar. It's crazy.

Survivor's not really around anymore, is it? They still do Survivor? Yeah. My brother has seen every season. It's awesome. My mom buys the bootleg DVDs off of eBay. Survival. That'll just have like Survivor seasons on them.

And then you'll get like this sun faded photo of a low resolution picture of the Survivor logo on like four burn CDs. I'm like, mom, why are you paying for them? What fuck are you doing? It's also crazy. like 15 years ago. It's crazy that there wouldn't be just like survivor seasons available that she could buy anywhere but eBay. I would never bring up BitTorrent to my mother.

Are you kidding me? I'm never having that. Give me your phone number. I can explain anything to anything. All right, let's get my mom on the line. I'll patch her through. Here she is. Hey, beautiful Mrs. Branson, how are you?

Hey, mom, what did they used to call pussy in the old days? They called it Cooter. Yeah, pre-Shane Dawson. what they call pussy. Have you seen this James Charles chick? She's hot to trot, huh? God damn, she's got a horse ass, huh, ma? Yeah, you can just tell.

You can look at her and just bite your bottom lip and go, ooh, I know that pussy is so good. God damn, what a Finn Fitelli. Shane Dawson was actually fucking James Charles when he came up with the name pussy. Yeah, he was like, whatever this thing is, that's pussy for sure. If I know one thing, it said, I'm fucking pussy right now.

Yeah. Do you guys want to talk about this list? What the fuck are we doing here? No. No. We talk about the filial. Let's do Bill Burr on Survivor. He holds it.

What the fuck is this? What the fuck is this? What the fuck is this? This is a fucking bowling ball? What the fuck is this? It's got three holes in it. I put my fingers in here. I can't even.

There's no pins here. What the fuck is this? What the fuck is this? Oh, so I'm supposed to kill a fucking boar now. Okay. I guess I'll go get a spear. Yeah, I'll get a spear. Sure. I'll throw it. Whatever. Oh, they got to create an alliance. Where are they, the United Nations? Oh, great. That's awesome. Yeah. What is it? Star Wars? We're creating alliances now? Jesus Christ.

Okay, I'm the fucking rebel alliance. How about that? I got my own fucking alliance over here, huh? How about that? You suck my fucking dick. I'll just stand over here being, how about, uh, fucking jar jar binks. How about that, huh? Yeah, Misa. Misa want a pooh-boo. Meisa want to fuck All the girls here How about that? How about I say that?

Huh? You guys are gonna get mad at me? Yeah Yeah, I'm gonna win I'm gonna win I'm gonna win Yeah Jedi, my tricks don't work on me

Huh? Only money I know that's Wado I don't fucking care Hey they should They should do survive They should survive a Boston Huh?

See if people can That's a thing Yeah At our At our college When we were in college There was They did a

Like a survivor I guess Survivor has, like, audition series that they do at, like, different colleges in the United States where they'll do, like, they'll fund a student-led version of Survivor that just takes place at the college. And they will, like, like, a farm league. They'll take kids from that and put some of them in reality shows. Yeah, exactly. It's fucking crazy. So what you get is you just get, like, college psychos who are just like, like, mostly theater kids, at least at our school. yeah because they want to make it we got to get their face out there yeah we had a couple friends on it

i know that i know we had a couple people who were like 19 and want to be famous yeah cameron yeah camera was kind of the like i was ruthless dude i was scheming yeah yeah it's crazy it all it all took place in the boston common too which was like yeah it's just like a park just a city park that's just tourists and homeless people and i i i honestly i don't know why the i mean i understand why the cops we really got these got to get these hot dog's grilled or else we're not going to make it through the night. That is seriously how some of the fucking challenges are. It'll be like, you have to do this puzzle in under an hour.

There's nothing like fucking Survivor, dude. You got to play Ultimate Frisbee for a couple hours. We hit a key under a dorm room couch. We should have just made them do useful chores. Like, you've got to clean up all the leaves in this park and shit. You have to drink all the homeless people out of the park. I bet you drink all this beer and take all this Adderall, dude. Good luck, man.

The producers were really mad when I did. did that for my college and I killed a pig in the middle of the park they said I thought this was Survivor didn't Alex and Joe our friends Alex and Joe like watch that like religiously like they watched Survivor the real appeal of that is like imagine

Survivor but you know every single person on it that's true like that's the best version of Survivor Oh yeah that's got that has to be fun it's like I'm gonna get your ass like yeah right now could be Survivor I like the people the idea of Survivor that you can betray people multiple times yeah you can you can like triple cross so yeah just like sociopath practice it's

wonderful oh i mean like that's okay we earlier we were talking about uh it wasn't small soldiers oh yes yeah no let's talk about that again what are the characters that's good with that so we're talking about uh not on this but when we recorded the the e1 we're talking about like you are the weakest link is that your final answer you're fired and the other one we're was voting someone off the island. All that great shit. They would just hold it up to the camera, right? And then, like, cast it silently, like, kind of forlornly, like, well, I have to do what I have to.

You know, I like this person, but they got a fucking burn, fucking die, fuck you. Get the hell off this island. Get your head out of. Get your white ass off the sign. I think that was the guy getting kicked off. That was zooming in out of her face really fast, like boing-y-o-yo-yo-yo-yo-you-you-ha. The trap door opens underneath them And they just follow

What happened to reality shows man Now it's all fucking minute To win it and whatever fucking Ellen does Yeah we need Rock of Love back Have you guys heard of the reality show The Circle? It was like a new Netflix one I watched it with my girlfriend

Is that the one where everybody is Everybody's like dating each other Through a computer It's like a reality show That's based on like social media And so you can like catfish other people and shit I also have a girlfriend so I had to watch Watch this.

The most amazing timing. Yeah, I know. Oh, my God. I don't think she existed until you said that. It's just so funny that, like, Branson manifested her. Wait, Patrick, do you have a girlfriend? Can we edit this out, Cameron? Anyway, I'm going to move in together.

I'm moving in with Andrew. We're having a bachelor pad. That's sick. They're going to share a bedroom. That's a big circular bed that spins. It's a heart-shaped bed. They're all twin beds that are pushed together. Well, here's what I want to know.

Here's what I want to know. How are you getting these, pardon my language, these hose in that sweet pad? I mean, what are you doing? A ladder. A catapult. A perfectly aimed catapult right into an open window. Now that you're here, would you like a martini?

Need weapons to attack our apartment Get up in our apartment To fuck us Yeah That's your answer right there I'm going over to their To their new apartment And I'm about to open the door

And Andrew stops me He says if you open that door A cauldron full of boiling Pitch will fall on you Yeah a big bucket of a lube Trap is gonna fall on you Bucket a lube that's not that scary Something boiling

That might stop me if I'm a girl I'm worried about my skin Women come to the gate of our apartment you say the gate To get what to get what we start rattling the bar It's a porthole's gate There's a portcolis And Patrick I are up there

With their hoods and across her say Oh Who's that there Better not be any more snatch Better not be any more snatch down there Have enough of that lately We have enough tutor here Thank you please

I have enough tutor I don't like it I don't like it It's already Open a window it smells like stew You don't come in here unless you bring a lobster with you. Oh, that's right. The lords have been enjoying quite the reverie of all that lately.

I quite like it, I do. That's the toadie. Which one in, who's that? Who's at, who's at in real life? Which one is... That's Igor from Frankenstein. Oh, that's the actual Igor, you guys know? Yeah, they're going to live in the castle.

Look at that Larry. Oh, ho. Oh, look at this guy's getting chimp. Oh, they're going to so much clown. Do you know what my favorite part of sex is? It's the orgasm. Ugh. Not for me.

Why's that? Not for me. Hey, buddy, different strokes for different folks, I suppose. I like the end. I try to actually get as fast to the end. What about the journey, though? Because I like it so. Oh, no, the journey is boring.

The journey's even worse. It's like doing push-ups. It hurts. And the end is like, well, you can go to bed. When you feel good. Yeah. Push-ups that make you feel good. Yeah.

I've always liked that part in the middle where you put your shirt back on. She's like, hey, can you, come on. Let's be real here. All right. Either you turn the lights off or you put your shirt back on. Yeah. Could you also wipe the sweat off of your forehead? It keeps getting in my eye.

And then I do, and then I do my British voice. As you wish, my lady. And he's like, you know, we just stop. Are you like playing? Simon says during the whole time? Well, yeah, yeah. I was kind enough to give you my stooge and you just keep doing impressions of towely.

Can you... Okay, first off, I gave you my stooge and now you're doing Philip Seymour Hoffman to me while we have sex. No thanks. Real quick, can you take off the tap shoes? I mean, seriously. Can you take the tag off your new era fitted hat

at least if we're going to have sex? No! No way! Do you not realize that that ruins the entire value of the hat, you fucking mind this bimbo? Can you please just uncross your eyes? Just literally, give it for a second. You keep sitting there, you're going,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and can you have a magic eye cookie monster on the flat bram, and that's why her eyes are crossed. Could you, could you please, when you orgasm this time, not say, did I do that in the Urquil works? Do you please? It mean a lot to me. Yeah, you don't say Mamma Mia, Papa, Pia, baby got to come for reala. you just don't do that when you

You don't pull out a cigar much and I go I like you kid All right We're about halfway through So I feel like we should do Yeah that's probably That's good enough to So what is it something you guys do

What's the whole deal? I get that you climb off your giant fucking mountain to come Do our little operation here But how about you listen up Because you're in our house now I'm just playing I'm just saying

It's kind of like a play thing for the listeners. They know what you do. I'm just playing like, hey, what do these guys do? I don't know. I don't know. I don't listen to podcast. I just do the, I just record shit. We get it. You're the talent, okay? So I'm asking you, do one of your little episode one, two, three. I don't care.

Do one of those. I'm about this. I actually picked this list specifically for you guys because I think this really plays to your strengths. Welcome to episode one. This is part of this. Well, we maybe didn't specify earlier, but we charged by the amount of things on a list when we come on a different podcast. Ah, shit.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, sorry. God damn it, Cameron, this has, like, we don't get out of bed for less than five large. We get more exposure per the list. This has 51. Yeah, we need about 100 exposure per each item.

Shit. I know, I know you guys like to do, you do your little stories and your, your, whatever you do. Or dreamers. What? Little, you know what, who cares? Whatever you guys do.

But I know that you guys love to do, you guys like to make silly songs you guys like to make parodies like all the fall guys by Blink 182 that kind of thing I know you guys are really into the song silly song scene Now all our songs are serious dude

I don't know if you fucking Are you saying you thought those were funny? Yeah Yeah I thought they were very funny And I laughed at them This guy laughs at everything sad Yeah that's true That's fucked up

We were putting our heart on the line And you guys just had us here to mock our But doctor I am Pagliacci Right I remember that So these are best ideas for a song title. Yeah, this is best ideas for a song title created by user Dinasta Noble. It's a cool name.

This is helpful because usually songwriters just can't come up with the title. They have a great melody. We have the song best song ever, but we don't have a name. They already have the lyrics, but what do I call it? Look at song two by blur. Yeah, they had no clue what to call that. I mean, look at how many untitles there are. They should have called it woo-hoo, dude.

It was right there. They should have called it woo-hoo. They're so stupid I mean, fucking Scott Walker What's he got? Like track 5, track 6, track 7? Fucking, what is he doing?

Hold up. Also, how many bands do you see have a song called an intro? Are you fucking kidding me? Charles had a super exhausting bit that he wanted to make a band named various artists. Did I have that bit?

I don't remember that anymore. I remember that bit. I'm not exhausted yet. Continue. That's it. Okay, number one on this list is filet of fish. That's not true. No.

No. We're not talking about that, man. Come on. Wait, what is that? What is the flail of fish? That's an idea I have. It's a sandwich at McDonald's. No, you know, it's not an idea you had.

Oh, what is your argument then? Brantz has been talking to me about it. I think he talked about it first. Look, I'm not going to talk about this yet, all right? Maybe we get this at the end of the episode. All right. I'll take that deal. All right, Pat, you have until then to think of what that is.

Okay. Good luck, my friend. I mean, I already told Cameron. I hope you just aren't copying my Phala fish idea. No. You don't even have one, so. No, he told me on any one. That was it, though.

I did text it to you. Yeah. I did text it to Cameron. I have it on my phone right here. Can you read it for it? See, it's right there. It's right here on my phone. I did see something right there.

I did see that. Best idea for a song title, number one. run away with me. I mean, is that not the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? It's so beautiful. It's so romantic to, like, leave a place. Uh-huh. Yeah. Or just go jogging. Carly Ray. Love it. True.

Did she do that? She must have looked at this list. Did she run away? That literally is one of her song titles. Run away with me? Oh, well, fuck this then. It's still. She stole it. She stole it. No, it was just so good she had to do it. She used the idea. Yeah. She looked to the best ideas for a song title.

So she's sourceful she sounds like a great gal to me hey sounds like you're trying to get her pants fucking 30 by now why she's yeah what is she she's old as shit I'm like you don't run away at like 30 you're where you're at I think you're being

real constrictive of what a woman can do Branson a 30 year old woman is not running away if she is she's a fucking mess Branson says this now but he's going to text me and Andrew tonight like dude I'm doing it I'm running away from home I can't I'm a real

messy 32 year old I'm a run away I'm packing a bag I'm putting one toy Maybe I'm putting a Maybe she's in a cult Oh Is she running away from the cult

Or to join the cult That changes it Well that's like the ambiguity That makes the song Like beautiful She's just a Jehovah's Witness She's running away from one cult To another cult

Maybe she's just really scared Maybe she saw a scary guy Or a scary monster And she's telling him to run away with her? You're making no goddamn sense, man. She has a pet or a friend or something. I'm the guy.

Or Andrew is there. Andrew, you're not the guy. She's not going to run away with you, dude. Shut the fuck. You guys all have girlfriends. Hey, hey, Andrew, you would be the scary guy. Let me tell you something. Yeah, here's what happens.

I got to work. Oh, my God! I got to work Friday. You have to work on your plan to capture and scare Carly Red Jepson. And here's the truth. She's going to see you. She's going to go,

ah! She's going to turn to me. Don't listen to them She's like a Metal Gear Solid soldier There's gonna be a Like a little exclamation point over here You're a fucking 10 Andrew She would be lucky to have you

That's not true I'm like a $10 bill I can buy a subway sandwich with you When I see a woman I also get the Metal Gear Solid exclamation point of my head and I go Look a box A stoog!

A stooge I get the I'm like the NBA Scards too Where I see the exclamation point And then I see the woman I go huh Nothing to see here And I walk away

I'm like NBA 2K And I get fire above my head And it says He's heating up Number two is hit me baby Huh That's a half of an existing title Yeah exactly

That's already a song Also that's either about Domestic Violence or Blackjack It's the prequel It's the prequel to hit me Baby Baby one more time. Or about training your fighter child. Wait, was his baby one more time about domestic violence?

No, it's about Blackjack. Or is she talking about, like, getting stuck? I mean, let's be real. She's talking about getting fisted over there, right? She's talking about getting, like, fucking stuck. She's trying to get stuffed like a turkey. Let's be honest. You guys are disgusting.

I'm sorry. Andrew, I take it back. You're not a monster. oh that's where you're wrong brother no he's the loco gringo what am i one of my favorite um videos of a guy the guitarist in slipnot

there's a video of him where like an interview goes up to him and is like man you got a scary mask are you a monster and he just goes you have to ask my wife and then leaves that's so cool yes he's a monster please please give me away from him he is a monster solid bit Yeah

Yeah Is he insinuating that he fucks like a Frankenstein? That's the thing It's completely unclear Like that's It could be something really bad Or something really cool

If you want to do a witty retort You just bring up your wife That's why most people get married The hard That documentary Some kind of monster Was about that one guy From Slipknot

The guy from Slitnot Idolizes Rodney Dangerfield Most Slipnot songs Are about Rodney Dangerfield bits Right Yeah. That Slipknot song about your doctor asked for a stool, semen, and urine sample, so he gives him his underwear and he leaves. That song is what that's about.

Hey, let me tell you. Yeah. I forgot all the Slip-Not lyrics. As soon as I did the rise up in me. Slip-Not has lyrics? Yeah. No, it just screams. Slip-Nod.

I thought they were just saying bull crap. These guys are scary. I thought the lead singer was a dog. I thought the lead singer was a dog. Hey, hey, let me tell you, I did my time, and I went out of my marriage. Hit me, baby, could be a Rodney Dangerfield song title. Hit me, baby. I need to buy a new TV for my wife.

It's the only way I can come. Hit me, baby. My wife told me, baby, one more time, and I said, hey, I'm on parole. Number three, I will hurt you. What? Okay, this guy's... Whoever made this list is a... Fucking psycho.

The two comments on this one are Sounds like a bossy bitch and sounds bitchy. Who made this list? It's like Ted Bundy made this list. It's a bunch of kids. They all... Here's a list of one thing. Wait, it's Dinastin.

It was made by Dinastan Noble, who I just clicked on their profile and their bio is, I'm Dinastan Noble, and I'm a middle school teenager whose life is disrupted by darkness. aren't we all bud i think we need to save him we need to send him the healing power of jesus christ well he's probably like 40 now discover the power of comedy true that's a really yeah we should

send him a DVD copy of brass eye uh-huh that'll save his life look i have one i can send it i think we should send him uh dane cook special yeah true because then you get the best of both worlds christianity and comedy my dan cook vicious circle tour t-shirt i can send him that it's not a bad idea. Yeah. I'm going to call him on the phone. I'll send him a VHS copy of a Bill Hicks stand-up special. You need Bill Hitch, he's George Carlin, you need the latest Dave Chappelle special where he bitches about trans people for an hour. Uh-huh. Exactly. George Floyd. That's what's funny now. That's what's funny now, you know, because he's this guy who disappeared for like a decade and he came back was like, well, I'm going to say this

because I'm right and everyone's going to agree with me. It's like, all right, man. Well, he's a tricky situation because it's like a caveman got unthought. Like, he really, None of that was happening when he went in, and then he comes out, and he's just surprised. And we've got to get him a couple years of him saying horrible shit. It's like, it's cool, man. He's like, what I'm buff. I'm buff now. He did get so buff in Africa, dude.

That's true. You know, it's a weird thing about Dave Chappelle. He loves to skateboard. That's a... Really? That's just a fun fact about him. Well, he watched so much jackass. He's like, oh, these guys are really funny.

They're really funny. But they also all skateboards are going to be like them. Exactly. Do any of you guys skateboard? I do. Okay, when are you going to give that up? Because I see, like, old guys skateboarding, and it's fucking depressing. That is one of the best questions ever asked on this show.

When are you going to give it up, man? He's 23 years old. We need an exact date, Patrick. His skateboarding. Yeah, that's still young enough, though. Probably when I get, like, bone spurs or some shit. I think you have to stop when you're the oldest guy at the skate park. Not even, no, because even then, that's the guy who teaches the kids about the old skaters.

Like that guy Are you name of the skate park Nobody's gonna fucking Well this is how Bucky Lasek did it No he gives a fuck People do No skaters do That's shit

Skaters dude You gotta study what you sound like dude Oh dude I love skateboarding dude That's what you sound like 40 I love skateboarding and surfing A snowboarding Fuck shoebies

I got this one right here I think 40 He's a good age to... I think you got 17 years left to skateboarding. Yeah. Yeah, but, like, you still have guys, like, uh, who are, like, the best ever do it, like Rodney Mullen, who are, like, 80 years old,

and they're still out there, like, I just want to ride, bro. That's the thing, though. They're going to have a senior tour. They got to get rich enough to have their own shit in their backyard so they don't subject people to it. Yeah, that's true. He's the original street skater, bro. He's got to be on the streets.

You're thinking, you're thinking of Mark Gonzalez. You're, you're getting all your... history mixed up. I fucking hate it. I wish I never asked him. I can't believe you guys. You open the Pandora's body of questions. You brought up skateboarding.

All right. I have a question, though. I have a question to follow up Brantz's question. Does skateboarding have to do with the flayafish idea? Look, I'm not going to talk about that right now. Oh, it could be a skateboarding trick. That does seem like... Charles, shut the fuck up.

It's in the next Tony Honk game. yeah they keep um in in the in the in the new tony hawk the remaster they keep renaming tricks for some reason uh they renamed smith grinds to monte grines because in the 2000 they're probably all like slurs that they did uh well yeah no they it's the smith the smith was originally called that because it was a guy named smith who ground like a minority's teeth into the curb that was a big problem that was let's change it let's change it to montie grind because monte was a guy who ground a white guy's teeth into the ground python they named it after Python, it's the dead parrot

grind. But you're still writing Mongo in the game. Did they change the... Exactly. Do they change the Hitler air? No. No, the Hitler air stays. It's still you go up in the air and pretend you're on a cross like Hitler. Yeah. Yeah. And then they have the Hitler air to Mangola Flip, and that's still in there.

Mangola Flip would be a great name for a skate trick, honestly. I think that a Mangola Flip is just when any white person moves to South America. Also, I think all these tricks would be less offensive if they were done by a cartoon. Like, why don't they have Bart Simpson in the game yet? They got Spider-Man in it. I think because it's in a game, everybody, everybody's a cartoon in the game. Spider-Man does skateboard in Pro Skater 2.

No, but fucking Bart Simpson actually skateboard's in real life, not just some shit they made up. They made his own game. They had a Simpton skateboard game. Charles, are you saying that Spider-Man's a poser and Bart Simpson is a real skater? A hundred percent, I legitimately believe that. Bart Simpson rides a cruiser He doesn't even ride a real board You better not fucking

You better watch yourself next time you're in New York City Talking in diapers He can kick flip it though Yeah You're like my biggest problem Tell them about the old names in skating And you're not going to tell them about Bart Simpson I think SCA is the worst thing about

skateboarding Yeah Yeah Why they like SCA so much It was just gold finger In Pro Skater 2 That's it Are people still making SCA

Is Scott still Just the sweatiest doiest guys all banging their heads together with t-shirts and checkered shoes and going on like Bada-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da and it is fucking epic I think it would be really funny

in like 15 years to make a scob band I think that would love to maybe I'll get addicted to heroin and start playing a fucking PS2 like a bongo and make a scob bar ever had to knock on what I think that'd be sick dude

we have six people here we could form a scob band We, oh, my God. We need, like, three more guys on the whole. That's true. I can play the trombone. Yeah, oh, yeah, that's right. Cameron can play trombone.

I can play bass. How does any stop and make any money when there's nine of a minute? They don't. You don't get paid in money, dude. You get paid in fucking drinks and... Cameron knows all of the mighty, mighty bustones. He knows all of them. I do.

My parents know some of them, but... No, you know them. You're wrong. Number four, this girl hates Mondays. That's already That is a good name for a song actually And here's a comment I think it's a good title

Because it can relate to any age really And you go wild with the song And in this girl's Garfield Yeah the female Garfield What emojis that's a good song That's the party female Garfield That's the party horn emoji One of my friends growing up

His mother was referred to all of us By Garfield Because she had orange hair And she often complained The thing about Garfield is that Say what you will about his comedy But he was right about most things he said That's true

That's very true His people vindicate him I mean lasagna kicks ass Yeah Monday's a lot of work though Mondays this girl hates him His owner was a loser Odie was stupid as hell

Mm-hmm Nirmal Don't even get me started Nirmal was straight up the devil Uh-huh That cat got the divil in him Let me tell you That Numa cat

He got the devil in that boy right now NERMO, NERMO got put dead by the devil. Now, my client, Nirmal, often gets persecuted, but is the behavior of Nirmal any worse than the behavior of Gawfield himself? Who has been known to abuse O'Don and mock John relentlessly? You gotta let Nirmal go. Your Honor, the prosecution may be confusing Garfield for Heathcliff. I'll let me tell you.

See, when he brought up the evidence about him being homeless, that was he-cliff. That would not Garfield. I present to the jury October 17th, 1996 comic strip, where Garfield kicks Odie off the table, not once, not twice, but three separate times. And you're going to tell me normal is the problem here? Garfield's so famous, it would be hard to get him into court. You know how they have to find a place where the case isn't well known? Just put him in a crate. That's true, yeah.

He's a goddamn cat after all, isn't he? The guy that does all the drawings for the court because there's no cameras a lot is Jim Davis. That's how Garfield got started. It was a real story. He drew the cat in court, and he's like, I can turn this into a cartoon. I love how shitting Garfield. looks in the original strips where Garfield's just like a fucking mountain of fat shit. Yeah.

Oh, he looks like. Oh, it's like the original Simpsons. Like, season one, they just look like fucking monsters. They look like monsters. Yeah. Also, they hadn't figured out the voices yet at the time. Yeah, so, like, birds like, wow, wow, Homer is really good. It's a, it's like a fucking fever dream.

And Homer's, like, slippery. Like, he's like, this, like, jelly that, like, slips through this episode, like, Ramor Duman to work Just a guy chained to a bed Trying to get off a heroin And he's just imagining the original Tracy Oldman show Simpsons

Yeah he's like I think that's what the Simpsons is I need Butterfingers right now I don't know what's going on I fucking need Butterfingers That's it Do you guys think the Simpsons The people on the Simpsons

That are supposed to be white people Uh Do you think they all smell like Like Carl like banana runts Yeah they all I mean they're bright yellow Oh you're talking about a candy

Are you insinuating that people Just smell like the candy That is their skin color? Yeah So what do you smell like? Maybe I smell like fucking Nougat You are not Nuget My client

An Alabaster skin Of the ivory complexion He do not represent Nuget in the slightest Number five, let's like a zero bar, baby. Wait, Brandon, did you explain what Andrew was on trial for in that? Zero bar is underrated. Oh, I'm a southern lawyer who only represents transracial clients. So Nuget was the race he was trying to be?

Yeah, and he's obviously, he looks like that French moon movie. I want to talk about, I want to talk about how I'm Portuguese. All right. I'm from Brazil. That's what I'm from. I'm from Brazil. I'm from Brazil. I'm from Brazil.

B-A-Z-I-L. My client has clearly stated he is not white. I want to, but, buddy, I want to do my occasion demeanor. He is a Canadian. He is not white. I'm from Brazil, or as I would say, Basile. My cousin, G. I want to talk, dude, I want to talk to, talk, talk, y'all, regga-ton.

Y'all like bad bunny. Y'all know bad bunny? You got an ear ring. Real quick, can I, real quick? Can I get a J. Balvin meal? Real quick. Can I get a J. Balvin'i. Real quick.

Can I get one of the old? You don't know Bobba, Boba, Bars Simpson. Basically, he had a, uh, invented a skateboard. Basically, he's the first skateboard. Basically, it's a big green skateboard with purple wheels and blue trucks. Boss Simpson, he's from, he's from Baton Rouge. I grew up with him in the swamp. He's from Bayonne.

This little guy's his little pranks. I never won't know because of his own shirt. He's got a big old bright old shirt. Y'all, in the movie, they showed his peggle. Looked like a little shrimp. Went around here a little bit. My boy, Mo. He used to call Mo.

Right, more, down in the swamp. He used to call him with a, the old wicketed prank from the devil brain, man. You got that in a good thing, man. Hang around bad ruse long as you're going to see Maud Simpson walking down there, cops on the street. I'll tell you what, I swear, on Jesus cried name. You might see it, you might see a peepard too, Mr. Homer, right?

Homer, I mean, I mean, you might be eating a donut one day, look the other way, donut gone, man. That's just how that boy is. That's just how that boy is. Don't get me a start on, Mr. Burns. I have, Mr. Burns, he, uh, he could buy some kind of voodoo. He got all the money, but, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, he'll, he'll, he'll, he'll, he'll, he'll, he'll, he'll, he'll, he'll, he'll, he'll, he'll, he'll, he'll, he's not going to do, the voice, but I'm just imagining a black Israelite talking about how, uh, Smithers was once a black man. I understand a little helper, he's, uh, Louisiana, chupacabra.

I'm going to skip ahead on this list just because there's a bunch of them. Wait, you're going to skip number eight? Why don't you just rattle off a couple? No, I was going to skip two, number eight. Okay, number eight is... You're going to skip cookies and cream? Number eight, okay, cookies, let's talk about that for ten minutes.

Charles, go ahead. Go ahead. Charles, sing what you think cookies is is. That's the race that Andrew... That's the race that Andrew... Cook a macele. Now, you don't want to get down there by you when you see the cookie...

Monster. You don't want to... My dad says he looks like cooking cream. But everyone focused on that cookie looking nice and dark. But there's cream not of a lot of complexion in the cooking. The cookies, Your Honor, are a fool's gold of sorts of hidden within the cream. If you would make an amalgamation of the entire color, you won't find that it is close to the cream. Now, these were mega stuff cookies and cream.

Let me tell you real quick. Number. You don't even give me sodder down cookie dough. There's a whole other time. Cookie dough. Number eight is the body of boys. And the only comment is a bunch of question marks and exclamation points. And then in all caps, what?

Can't do it, man. He gets a pass because he's a middle school teenager. I guess so. Number 15. You can talk about boys' bodies all he wants. But you better cut that shit out. What's happened to this damn thing? This shit feel weird.

Number 15 lipcloth stance The top comment This is a great idea It could have any meaning That's just Isn't that a line from a train song Man shut up Number 16

Murderous miracle Now this is my favorite comment here Because this person wrote out the whole chorus Hey buddy every murder's a miracle to me Maybe Caleb will you sing the Will you sing the chorus that's written here Yeah number 16 Maybe the chorus goes

How am I Oh sorry I fucked up How I am that lonely in the stars Where did I all go wrong And take this too far I'm not gonna say it no more No no

I'm gonna have it all tour I'm not okay And I promise I might punch life with my fist Woe is me I'm in a full circle Oh baby it was all right from here Like a murderous miracle

Pretty good It's a good chorus Yeah it says it reminds them Of a 90s grunge rock song with Teen Ang's lyrics from 2000 Emo songs. I had Cam set this whole thing up so I can do one of y'all's songs next time. This is Cahill's audition. Yeah.

I kind of had a Tom DeLong vibe to it. I was getting a vibe of like... That's the only band I've ever heard. Where are you? Where are you? We're ready to sign you? I'm so sorry. I mean, I can do Tom DeLange.

We already did a song with that title and those lyrics already, so you're going to have to come up with something new. Fuck. Can you do an Al City voice? What do you want to say? Al City? Firefly. A million flies. I get a thousand hugs.

You would not believe your eyes. Yeah, there we go. There you go. Pretty good, dude. I knew those two guys and Cajun voice, so you guys gave me a mind.

That song just sounds like a new app. That's just like what the whole thing says. Fireflies? All of All city just sounds like an app to me. Yeah. Because these people have their fucking man buns. They've got their fucking skinny jeans. Let's go.

Let's go. And they're all talking about fucking Bernie. What kind of coffee do you think they drink? drink. Pumpin spice. Fucking. Carmel fruciato bullshit.

That's what I call. That's what the flavor I call is. Bullshit. What the fuck is a large? Can I get a venty coffee, please? Ah, fuck. It would suck to be the barista at the coffee shop where Dennis Leary goes every day. He just comes in every day at the same time.

Eyeballing or like full eye contact, like, you know what the fuck I'm going to say. And she's like, you want a black coffee? And he's like, fuck, yeah. No, actually, can I try one of those frappuccino? Can I have a coffee-flavored coffee? So just coffee? Yeah. Yeah.

Number 22 is kind of like a riff on a corn song here. It's N-I-K-E. What's the corn song? Oh, like Adidas. Yeah, like Adidas. Yeah, and the comment here is it could stand for no innocence kill everyone. Let's go. I think they're just talking about anything.

I think that's kind of violent. I think that's kind of... It's kind of like Drake. It's kind of like Drake's name. True. Mental schoolers think, like, the coolest thing they can do is, like, kill a guy.

Yeah. What's up? You want it? Hello. Hey, Liana. She wanted to drink the wax out of the candle. Why do I got to blow a hat? It's too strong.

You're burning poop-scented candles in the roasted. It's not. It's the lava scent, dude. It's the fucking lava. I'm smelling it now. I don't know what it's supposed to be. I just feel like making a sacrifice. I don't get it.

Like, it's a scent. Just make me want to throw someone in a volcano. It's weird. Yeah. Branson is just lighting the Joey Diaz-flavored candle. She's like, what the fuck is this, dude? Yeah, this fucking candle smells like North Bergen. That's what this fucking candle smells like.

It smells exactly like Jersey. This smells like fucking Hoboken and North Bergen. It smells like fucking Santoria. I'm telling you. I got my Boston garden canned all. It's like your fucking grandma's ass. It fucking stinks. It sounds like Joe Rogan's head in the hot Austin heat, dog, real shit.

Yeah, that man fucking sweating in there. That's where he fucking... I don't even know what voice that is. That didn't even sound like Joey Diaz. I don't know. A monster. Yeah, that's what he sounds like a five-foot-two. I sound like Joey Diaz having a stroke.

A genius. Yeah, man. My fucking arms stopped working before I got here. I'm basically just going to ignore it. Yeah, I don't know what's happening, but my whole left fucking side, my whole left side is stop working. The fucking toast. What the fuck? I'm hungry.

Give me the toast. Stop fucking, stop. Somebody find that fucking toast. Unplug that fucking toaster now. Can somebody scratch my fucking back for me, please? Man, this reminds me a guble-l-l-a-gib-a-b-b-d-re-d-reep-a-reli-d. They're putting a fucking curse on me. Yeah, and the people he's, like, recording with just don't stop him for like 10 minutes.

God, he's just telling a story. Oh, my God. He's guessing you on the best community minds. They think he's just clearing his throat. He's a legend, dude. Joe just in there, what the fuck? That is crazy, man. Wow.

Really? That's possible. That's possible. I'll tell you that. He can't tell if you're doing like a sling blade impression. He says his whole fucking body went limp on the right side. Jamie, did we get that? Jamie, replay that. Replay that, Jamie.

Come on. He does the entire speech fucking Brad Doris character does in Childs play when he's possessing Chuckie. He's like, Depella. Patrick, I thought you're going to say the Exorcist 3. Hey, that's what I thought I were going to say, too. I believe in slime That's a great movie It's such a good movie

Okay, so the best exorcist number three Best Halloween number three Best, uh... Yeah, no, I agree Nightmare on Elm Street number three Yeah, okay, I'm with you on that one We're both in all soldiers? I disagree about Halloween

But I'm with you on the other two Halloween three is the best Boring and all stink Shut up, you guys You're a coward Hey, why don't you come over here Vincent's only saying that because he's afraid. I write books, I write novels, people want to read.

You sound so stupid right now. I thought it was a smart. I guess I feel pretty stupid for it. There's no horror movie that ever got a burger at fucking Burger King. Exactly. Exactly. I was pro small soldiers, stupid. I brought it up.

Charles didn't even know what to do with a bow. Dude, I could go. I forgot. I mentioned punch it. I remember his little bite. I'm going to pee on it. I'm going to pee on it right now. This little guy,

this little guy that sits on his shoulders, just punch it and just scratch it. Punch it's the big guy because he punches it. I'm peeing right here. Do not pee on it. Do not pee on my signature. Take care of that thing. His signature says dumbass.

Hey, I guess I'll have to get your book and pee on it. Oh, oh, fucking wait. Hey, we have a book. We do have a book. We have a book. Okay, you have a book. Oh, wait, you don't know about us at all.

It's a PDF. Oh, wait, he's a title for your book. But list about list Okay That's the next one Here's a title for your book You guys can write us the check right now If you want to

We can figure it out off air Yeah sure I'm writing it right now Zero dollars And one cent To Poopyhead Mick stupid pants

Whoa How are we gonna cash that Wait do we just start a beef? It's actually the Come Drinking Guys LLC It was a joke It just kind of stuck It's weird at the bank

ours legitimately is bird brain media LLC ours is Sullivan the Frog Enterprises it's so funny when we had to go to the banks

and shit and set up the accounts because it's like Birdbrain? Yeah I had to The banker at Chase was like when I'm walking out the door

he's like I'm just curious I'm just got to ask he's like what is the podcast about and I'm like Gah mostly in B-ball

I'm like it's about getting pussy. That's what's swag. Is that an answer? I don't know. Who cares? It's about minding your own business. It's about being CEOs of fucking cash, pussy. We were wondering the other day whether we or you guys have worse SEO. True.

Both of us are pretty impossible to Google. I mean, you're just going to find Star Wars prequels if you look up episode one, right? Right. Yeah. If you search podcasts about lists. That's how we remain kind of underground. It's kind of cool. Yeah. You guys are like the Talib Kuali of podcasts. Yeah, we have all the same.

hats i got a lot of uh we're gonna mash up all the e1 episodes we're gonna mash up all the e1 episodes with the ocarina of time sound trick damn that would be pimps fly that's just so fucking fire talk just put it in the background oh shit they're talking about being cops but also i love this game what's up i just want to read one more one more from this list um and then i'll reveal the fucking filet fish idea i guess shut the fuck up um number 49 is the queen of the good girls and then in parentheses that rocked everybody. See, I'm interested.

Any Kaminsky? The hottest girl in school? The goodest girl in school turns out she can rock. Damn. That's crazy. That's the ultimate male fantasy. Do you guys think that she's like doing a guitar solo?

Maybe. She's the lead of Ford. She's elected prom queen and she does a guitar solo? Dude, they put Lita Ford as the prom queen. They all bite their. You got to bite your knuckles in the whole way, like, ooh. Yeah.

Slash is the prom queen this year. He looks so beautiful in that gown. And the prom king. He got a, he got a quinceanera dress and he's wearing at the prom. Yeah, dude. God damn, he's pretty. They're just doing Super Bowl. Is he'll play November rain? Prom king is Axel Rose and they perform one in a million. They're most famous song with the best lyrics. Uh-huh. That are not racist. Did, uh, is Slash still doing like Super Bowls and shit? I think so. I think, I think that's, I think the Super Bowl is mostly, is mostly football nowadays, actually. Yeah. It's Pepsi in the, in commercials and football.

It's so cool how it'll be like still, uh, like 2019 or whatever, 2020. And it's like, yeah, we got the rolling stones and the halfway through it. Slash comes up on a platform. Like, everyone that like these bids are fucking 90, man. Like, who gives a fuck? They got their weekends. Bernie and slash. What the fuck are we doing?

Please put BTS on there, dude. BTSA, Ariana Grande, and Pete Davidson. Yep. Pete Davidson has a set in the middle of the song. Wait, why do you guys want BTK to do a halftime? BTC fan cam. He'd just be cool. He'd just be fucking swag.

Did BTC just pull out the leather straps? Am I fucking alive right now? Is this a dream? Dude, look at it He's not allowing his family into the basement That's so fucking sick You y'all really said that BDK wouldn't be sniffing no panties

On the stage tonight But then this How did he always wonder that How did he convince his family There's just a whole room And you just can't go in there This is man cave Yeah

Yeah Yeah but like you can't even look in there Just like I'm doing trains and stuff in there Because he was a violent man And probably intimidated his family You know what I bet he did I bet he kept being like kind of sarcastic

They were like, hey, dad, what's in the basement? He'd be like, oh, it's a bunch of murder shit And dead women Yeah, totally, yeah Oh, no, it's seriously, go take a look Oh yeah, whatever, man, I guess I'll do the dishes If you can get past the dead bolts Yeah

Yeah, if you've unlocked the door There's definitely a woman's having there We'd hate you He'd come out of his secret room and be like Oh, do not go in there And everyone just thought it was like a secret bathroom you go and take secret shits like Arnold's grandpa and hey Arnold that everyone got mad about when they found out he had a secret bathroom where he went to take shits and he was like

I'm in my office like no he's going to shit again which is all he had I guess I don't know that's how anyone remember that no I don't no we don't remember that I'm just widow babies we don't think the song titles after that one we just read because they get the the quality kind of drops off a little yeah what's Number 50? Not your typical teen pop rock song. See, now that's cool. Because some guys are rockers, you know?

Like me, I'm a rocker. Some guys in East L.A. walk up to you and say, hey, foo, are you a rocker? Hey, man, you like rock band 3? You like Guitar Hero 3 and shit? You playing cool for cats? Damn, this guy likes Megadeth. He's one crazy gringo. Damn.

Are you playing Alex Chilton on drums? Bro, you're playing L.A. Noir right now, bro? What's up? You want to go back to my house, watch me play L.A. Nauar and shit? Fucking crazy story, bro. Yo, what's up, Wade? You listen to Eno? Oh, you like Eno?

Damn, you listen to St. Elmo's Fire? Did you listen to Earthwind and Fire? Damn, man. Yo, you heard a hundred geeks? Bro, it sounds like my fucking car and shit, bro. It's fucking beast mode. fucking sick All right

We're at time So yeah Everybody go listen to episode one Yeah Subscribe to them on Patreon and shit Hey everyone listen to this podcast It's said Have it check out

They're already on They're listening They're listening Listen to it again Go back to the beginning Check out you one We've got a fillet of fish idea You've got to hear

If you listen to the beginning of this episode You'll hear a lot of references That will make sense Now that you've finished the episode That's a good point That's true one of us is the cookies

one of us is the cream and together we make a great great combination we're the cookies by the way yeah okay we're the crunch we're the cream because we fill you up fill up what

you your butts the stooge you'd fill up your stooge up with cream Patrick is talking to all the milf listeners that yeah that was sad all those hot milks that sit around

and they're like Versacee robes with the big boobies and their glasses and their glasses on and they read their Kindle while they listen to this show. Yeah, oil, right, exactly. Yeah, those are our most loyal listeners. Their asses are huge by the fucking blind.

If you want a nice man to come up and zip the back of your ballroom dress. I think Pat's your guy, dude. Give him a call. Hey, if he can reach it. And then the mouth is like, Patrick, what is the flay of fish idea, by the way?

Oh, yeah, you do have to tell us. Tell us. I said I'd say it You know what? We did do two hours of this I gotta give you The fillet of fish idea All right

You have to Are you guys I can see you're all sitting down So that's good I'm leaning forward I got my arms folded I'm just Yeah I got my hand down my pants

Even though I already know it Take a big bite Of this giant edible That is all melded together So just eat it Like it's All right A thousand milligrams

Oh look at that shit He does Yeah Don't eat that It's like a bunch of a race No, eat that. You're going to need it. You're going to need it after this.

It looks like a Rubik's Cube. 10 p.m. You got nibble a little bit. The filet of fish idea. Mm-hmm. It's more cheese. Is that it? More cheese on the filet fish.

There's already two slices, did? No, there's not. There's half of one slice. All right. Now, I look this up. Full slice. People think. A slice on it.

I've already read this. I read a lot about the. It could do with more cheese. All right. See, that was the idea. Aren't you glad you fucking stayed and listened for it? How much cheese? How many slices are we talking? But wait, you said this was an episode idea.

Look, I'm not going to talk about that. Look. You're just going to talk about your... Episode one will field that one. We'll do the fish episode, so don't worry about it, Patrick. We're going to record that right after this. Sounds good. If you do that, you will be getting a lawsuit, so goodbye.

All right. We'll see you in court.