Podcast About List - Ep. 132 - Bloober Chup

Episode Date: February 3, 2021

would you rather eat a poop on abiscuit or a biscuit coveredwith poop www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist

You're listening to Israel's number one podcast. Podcasts to the ball list. You're any crap monster. Ah, that's the intro. Ah, me screaming. That was some Twilight Zone shit right there. Ah. That was so scary.

I hope I wake up from this nightmare where Dustin Diamond has died. I heard they're making a new Twilight Zone where the guy looks on the Zoom call and they see, and he sees there's a gremlin that joined the Zoom call. He looks at the Zoom call. And Dustin Diamond is back. Oh, my God. Justin Diamond is digging around in his computer and ripping out parts in his computer.

The Dustin Dimlight Zone. None of his coworkers believe him. Duwait. Dustin Dimebag Daryl. Dustin Diamond Bag Daryl. Oh, my God. You guys that are dead. That's so sad to think about.

Yeah. Yeah. I would love to. You guys watch the updated Twilight Zone. One with Jordan and Peel. No, I didn't watch. I heard it wasn't good. Kumail Nanjiani's in it.

I thought you were going to say, have you watched the Time Bag Daryl assassination video? Have you? I genuinely thought you were going to ask me that. I haven't seen it. Me neither. Dude, I could never watch that. It would break my heart.

Assassination? That's a strong word. He got assassinated. It was an assassination. He was assassinated. An assassination. Yeah. The assassination of Diamondback Darrell by the coward.

you're on stage. Well, I guess I need to see the video. I don't think there's footage of it. Assassinate. Well, I just Googled assassination for some reason instead of dime bag, Daryl. Oh, like, the first picture is Dimebag. He was assassinated. Yeah, dude, he was assassinated.

That just brings to mind, like, kill bill style, like, kung fu death with a celebrity When you hear some, like, a political figure's assassinated, you think of a samurai? That's the first thing. I think of, like, Agent 47, like, who killed this guy? Who? Agent 47. Did Iman Bag Gerole? Yeah, he was at the show.

No, see, it was a deranged fan. Welcome 47. This is just a bad accident. That's still a deranged. You have to kill him. He has the Confederate flag on his guitar. He gets kicked out of the show from wearing a suit. Yeah.

Never gets to get it. You look way too corporate to be here for Die Back Daryl, dude. Did you, I talked about it before, and you guys have no idea what I'm talking about, but the 8-bit guy is his second cousin. Yeah, I don't know. Again, that's for the fans. That's something I'm saying for the fans. Not for you.

You know what you should say for the fans? A fucking joke. Oh, I didn't know Die Backd Daryl and Vinnie Paul were brothers. Vinnie Paz? Vinnie Paz? All fat, like, white guys were fucked up. Mudslide faces are all related. That's true.

Yeah. Dude, they're the Pantera brothers. They should have called that band the Pantera brothers. Yeah. That's their last name. That would have been a way cooler band. Yeah. Pantera is a terrible.

It's a terrible music. What are you talking about, man? Pantara's not good. Y'all are old. Pantera. I mean, okay, Pantera. Pantera is cool as hell. Walk is a great song.

Yeah, walk fucking cowboys from hell is a good song. I think they're a great as kids. They have some good, they have some good ass songs. I miss the Pants era. Yeah. Where, Joey Pants. Where, uh, who's Joey? You can pant somebody and it wasn't salt.

Who is Joe Pantiliano, the guy who plays Ralph Ciffon. Oh, yeah. Yeah, what about Joey Pants era? There we, yeah, what happened to him, dude? He was in a good string of Memento Matrix, the Sopranos. Yeah, oh yeah, dude, the early 2000s. That was the Joey Pants era. That, yeah.

and then it ended the Joey Pants era ended exactly at the same time that Dimeback Darrell was assassinated Wow Mm-hmm think about it Makes you wonder Think about it

I've been watching a lot of The kid from Brooklyn Oh yeah How's he doing? He's dead He's been dead forever Oh he's dead Yeah you know the guy

I'd walk a mile Yeah I didn't realize he was dead Yeah Yeah I look at that guy You think that guy's still alive A couple months ago, like I could have looked at you and guessed that you were dead even though I was on a Zoom call with you.

Really? Yeah. Was I, I don't know. I don't think I was that big. I don't think I looked like that guy. You just had evil eyes. Yeah? Yeah, kind of bloodshot.

That's because I was fucking drinking all the time. And I wouldn't sleep. Yeah, that's true. Now you have superpowers. Yeah. Now that I quit trying, now that I'm drinking Bodwiser zero. You got bit by a sober spider. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I got pinned with the surprise. Yeah, sober man, dude. It's going to be, it's a new era. Soberman. You just walk into buildings. Walk into villains's parties and then just bore everybody. I'm sober man. Just putting on with these.

Yeah, just pushing drug addicts off the top of buildings. Soberman's, like, superpower is his ability to put on a jazz fusion at a party. Yeah, and be like, this is like, this is like, this is. like gets my brain high almost this is yeah this is kind of like like the amount of notes in this gives me more dopamine than a cigarette ever could i feel like steely dan is the ultimate sober man's music no are you kidding i feel like that's it that's a so no no no that's stupid what you said it's an old sober dad loves steely dan no no no i went to a steely dan show i went to a steely dan show in october there was a dude fucking rolling a dude who looked like michael mcdonald in the front row

going fucking nuts. He's clone. Yeah, dude, it was Michael McDonald's clone. He's standing there, he keeps taking, like, you weren't allowed to use your phone because it's fucking, it's all fucking boomers. I don't know what, like, it's lame to say boomer, but like, it was all boomers there. And they were like, oh, stay off your phone, experience the show or whatever. And this guy is in the front row pulling his phone out, pointing at the band, pulling his dancing again.

He's doing, he's doing the fucking. He was doing the rope thing. Like, he was, like, doing the lasso to the Danettes. It fucking, it rocked. Also, you fucking, if you listen to Steely Dan, you're old, you're going to sit down with a little thingy of whiskey, you know? Right. All right.

You're going to sip some scotch, dude. All night long. Exactly, dude. I've heard two Steely Dan songs. That's more than enough to tell that you would drink whiskey while listening to it. It's not, no, not for me. No. Because you're stupid and your brain doesn't work.

That's fine. The oldest guy I ever saw at a concert was at a Snoop Dog concert. It was like a 90-year-old man in the front row with his girlfriend. Yeah. And I have a video of him, and he started during, Drop It's Hot. He started like doing like making circles with his fists. Yes. But it looked like he was like, he like could barely move.

Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah, he was the man, dude. Yeah. Yeah. I just want to be that kind of music enjoyer where I'm even late in my life. 90 years old Like imagine Snoop Dog

came out when you're 60 And you're like And you're really fucking into that And 30 years later Showing up to a trippy red concert in 60 years Yeah exactly You know it'd be weird though

Is like a 60 year old now Being into 100 geeks That wouldn't be weird Sounds like a dialysis machine I feel so clean Like my dialysis machine Yeah I don't know.

I feel like that makes sense. It's just, you know, computer noises. Yeah. Yeah. You'd have to be an old man who was really into soldering. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like that is something that, like, you, that might be the limit for, like, even somebody

like my parents' age where you show them that, and they're like, I don't even know what. Yeah, I can't even process it. Yeah. This sounds like a white noise machine. It sounds like my computer crashing in 1990. I think the speaker, I think my Alexa's broken. I don't know what's going on. I can't wait until the next wave of music that's impossible for us to understand.

Because I think 100 geeks for a lot of people, R.A. just kind of already pushing it, which is crazy. Like, you know what I mean? Like, fucking early 20s and already people will be like, I can't even, what is this? But, like, so I want the next thing that's, like, just so far beyond that. You know what it'll be? It'll be, you know those websites where you play different tones that only people have certain. ages can hear it'll be it'll be like hard locked yeah it'll be hard locked in the classroom it's called mosquito core and it's damn country bus storm but it'll be they'll do it so that if you're older than

like 22 you physically cannot yeah yeah yeah they'll be like listen to this I don't hear anything well you're fucking gay yeah yeah that's the thing I think like the generation before us like 2004 and up they all grew up listening to like chipmunked versions of fucking like yeah that's true yeah of regular songs that like 100 gex just makes so much sense yeah yeah night core zombie yeah oh yeah i'm wearing dude what a heater i'm wearing boxers right now instead of briefs and my ball my ball is poking out i can feel it i can feel it through my jeans like i can feel my ball is like getting pinched out of the leg opening what do you do what are you looking at

I'm looking at my balls. I'm freeballing in a pair of a pair of cut off sweatshorts that have a rip that goes all the way from the inseam on the leg to the other inseam on the other leg. So it's just like a... Oh, are they split in the middle? Yeah, so my balls and my penis are both... They're making appearance.

It's doing that to me, but it's only pushing them to my right side of my leg. It's not doing anything to you. You own every part of it. You are in control of both your body and the clothes you are. It's on purpose. Yeah. I wanted to have my balls out because it's a little bit hot in my apartment. The heat is not under my control.

It's cold in here. I have to get some... They put on a jacket, you hippie. Yeah, you just took my sweatshirt off, yet. I underestimated them. You just want to be naked all the time. No, I don't. You just want to show that thing.

I'm not a... I'm the furthest thing from a nudist. That's not true. And what's that? A mummy? I guess. You claim you're a mummy right now? I guess.

We should get Patrick should get really into wearing like Victorian dresses where you have to put on like three corsets under it. I agree. He should get underdress and a dress and an overdress and a petticoat. He should get back into wearing dresses. Yeah. Hey-oh. Come on. You used to be a girl like two or three years ago.

No, I did it. Or something like that. You used to wear dresses. Don't start a rumor? It's not a rumor. Cameron. What's up? Remember Pat used to wear dresses?

I didn't. Patrick, you can't hear that. He was whispering. I heard him. He put his hand over his mouth to block it from you. I talked in a tone that was too low for you to hear. Yeah. Hey, check this out.

Patrick's ears can only hear really high-pitched noises and not low-pitched noises because he's a baby. What? Now you do sound like a moment. This is fucking offensive, dude. Hey, Patrick, why are you talking in your normal voice? Yeah. I don't know. You sound like my friend's deaf Spanish teacher.

I don't like that. Your 14-year-old friend? Yeah. Why did that, why was there so much, like, that resonated. That was crazy. What I echoed a bunch? You just, like, stepped on a reverb pedal when you said that. Did it do it again?

No, it didn't do it again. A little bit. I think it was the Springs on. your on your mic arm. I'm going to get more into effects. Yeah. Oh, I would love, I would love to. I'm leaning towards effects right now.

Yeah. We should get more effects on this show. Okay. I don't think so. Okay. Why not? Is that to do an effect? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, okay.

That was actually pretty cool. I hope people are listening to this in Dolby Digital 7.1 surround sound right now. Oh, man, we should export this episode in Flack. Did you hear that new effect? that I just used. You sounded like Miss Fowl. Do that again. I think you could get more into effect.

Okay, towards the end, you sound like Miss Fowl. I think if you can hone in on the end there. I think you sound like Miss Fowl. I think you both smell pretty foul. Oh, what the hell? Now let's do this damn list. How about that? Hey, come on, man.

I don't smell foul. Yeah, you do. No, I don't. You smell like eggs, dude. I don't smell like eggs. And that's on I-O-Buck. Yeah, I smell like delicious. fresh eggs right out of the chicken. I'm still laughing at I-O-Block, dude.

Just like Chicago like improv. D-Ls, man, second city, man. I improv, Olympic, man. I-O-Block, 300 gang. Yeah. There's so many, there's so many. Del close with a dove emoji. FBG dealt close, man. That's real shit right there. The annoyous, man. Shout out the annoyance, man. Yeah, man. 300, 300-hour.

Three-hundred-gang, man. hideout gang only man big h up what's up for some reason chief keith spotted with Vanessa Bayer leaving oh fuck yeah but that was making me laugh

earlier yeah me too I was thinking about man there's so much improv in Chicago damn they should improve yeah what's up with that They should improv Their mayor

They're always mad at their mayor Yeah Their freaking Rahm Emanuel Lori Layfoot doesn't matter They're always mad What is that the name of a hobbit? Hey, there we go There we go

Come on Mm-hmm Mm-hmm Oh Yeah they should call her Lori Stinky Foot Oh Oh shit

Oh shit God damn God Oh Damn So I'm all out, sorry, guys. That's all I have on Lori Lightfoot. Stop. Stop, dude.

She's already dead. Come on, man. Stop. Knock it off, Damage. You're on too much of a heater today, you're on too much of a heater today, you're tone it down, dude. Did you see, it was like a, somebody posted it. It was like a thing about how her road was like the most plowed in all of Chicago right now. Yeah, so was her ass.

Oh! No. Oh, no. God. That's right. Did by me. What? No.

Oh, fuck. Stop. Oh, fuck. You play too much, Cam. Yeah, yeah. Did you guys hear that her, that she actually, something about, Cam, you might want to listen up. She had a pet cat, right? A cat.

And the cat was apparently, like, really smelly for some reason. That's interesting. Fucked you, dude. Come on. You're supposed to sit... I don't know who this lady is, if I'm being honest. Yeah, I forget who we're talking about. She's scary looking.

We're talking about Gordon Lightfoot. Do you guys see what she looks like? She wrecked her Edmund Fitzgerald. Am I right? Come on. In my ass. Oh! Oh!

She looks a little bit like Uncle Fester, if I'm being honest. Don't say that. What other songs did Gordon Lightfoot do? Just the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. That's kind of all he's known for. Is that really? No, he's known for one other song. No.

The Rec of the Edmund Fitzgerald. I mean, Gordon Lightfoot, hey, great-looking guy. I'll say that. Whoa. What? Never seen a picture of him before. Back in the 70s, he looked good. He looks like a wizard now, but back of the,

Then, that's a good-looking dude. You're saying a wizard doesn't look good nowadays? No. Yeah, what are you talking about, dude? Nowadays, a wizard looks like shit. What's wrong? All these wizards they got nowadays are looking like shit. Yeah.

They should be tall. Yeah, keep going. God, you're driving me crazy with that because I can't find my thingy. That's right. That's one of the saddest things of my life today. I can't find me. It's fucking, I'm snowed in. I'm...

You're Snowden? I'm Edward Snow in right now. Hey, come get him. Hey, come get him, NSA. Am I right? Cam, did you take like a comedy pill before we started recording today or something? Like, you're the funniest thing you've ever been. I can't leave my house.

I can't go get a vape. I can't go get a gamer's delight. I'm in like the worst mood I've ever been in. There's snow everywhere. I can barely open my door. I walk out of my window to get to the street. You walk out of your window? to get to the street?

You don't walk out the... You don't walk out no damn window. You're on the 100th floor. Yeah, I know. And I fall about 95 feet. There's five feet of snow. There's so much snow. But it breaks my fall.

And then I just land. Every floor is one foot tall. Yep. Yep. Yeah. There's one foot tall floors. Once they shut down the sideways school. I live on floors on floors 80 to 90.

Yeah, so every brick is a floor It's true Yeah, because that shells is My 1,000 story home Yeah, I'm going to stick by that Hey, because if you come hang out with me You're going to have a thousand stories Spending time in this home

Wow, dude One apartment is worth a thousand stories Exactly Wow Especially in NYC Yeah, that's true nowadays I'm thinking of buying a house Yeah?

Yeah, I don't have any money Do you think you can do that? But I'm thinking I might get really rich soon off of some investments. I've been watching property brothers lately because with my girlfriend. Yeah, those brothers go crazy. They go nuts, dude. It's so fun. It's so fun.

I think they're both dating whoever one of them dates. That's right. I'm being honest. That's right. Do you think they can only date twins? Aren't they triplets? Yeah, there's another one who's like goth or something. Yeah.

People always post and are like, look at this. Yo, look at the goth property, brother. It's so fun to just imagine being on that show and just being really mean to them because everyone's so nice to them all the time. They're all like, just like being when they're like, yeah, we found asbestos in your house and be like, fuck you, man, you may be by this house.

You, just kidding him in the face. Well, how about you get up there and you eat it, you fucking monkey? Go! How about you and your brother fucking go up there and finger each other, you fucking weirdos? You better get up in the attic and start ripping that asbestos down because you do not want me to get my hands on you.

Yep, the property brother's ass. Adam and Travis Scott. Got this house for three weeks and it's not done. What are you guys doing? Just fuck at each other all the time. I'm paying you to build my house. Just calling them on the phone, doing one of those scenes where they call the person on the phone who's going,

Da-da-da-da-da-da. They have it on speaker. All right, well, let's call the homeowner and check in to see what they want to do about the asbestos in the living room. Hey, Maria, are you there? Duh! Maria, we can't hear you. Oh, sorry, I thought that was your language. Yeah, sorry, I thought I was speaking twin.

Fucking dumbass. Pussy boy, pull up. You have the address. Speaking twin is like doing like a Sclar Brothers thing where you just kind of like wait until they finish each other's. Yeah, finish each other's. This home is going to cost sentences. Esclamation point. This home is going to cost sentences.

This two twins, you suck at it. Yeah. Finish each other's. Finish each other's. Finish each other's spinach. Finish each other's. Finish each other's. Start each other's.

Oh. Finish each other off. What the hell is wrong with these two gay twins that fuck each other in their face? Somebody called a cops on these twins. Yeah, the property brothers. This looks like a scary yin-yang. Yeah, more like the A-Hurti brothers. with their butt cheeks which

each other they have fucked they slap each other's butt cheeks when they're alone in the house dude yeah because when you ask how are your butt cheeks after your brother fucked them and they go aw hurdy

okay they wouldn't say that they would say that they say weird stuff all the time they say a bunch of weird shit it's just that's how it works being a twin I have friends who are twins one of my friends who is a twin

Yeah I could say that about the property brothers Because I have friends who are twins I do Twins like to fuck each other I have a twin friend He says it's okay No my twin friends say In my experience twins

One twin always loves to call their brother Because they got put in rehab By the city of Detroit I had a friend in college who was an identical twin And he was like doing great Like my friend was doing great He's a very smart guy And then three times

Three different times that I was hanging out with him He would get a call either from the police Or for his brother From his brother letting him know That his brother was in rehab for heroin In Detroit Dude it must be so hard to Does that happen to every twin?

It must be so hard to be a bad twin Everybody has an evil twin And like just have to resist the temptation every single day of your life to become the evil twin? Well, yeah, because I think as soon as one pulls ahead just a little bit, like as soon as the first one

to get like a star in kindergarten on their, like next to their name, that's gonna, the other one is just immediately going to turn evil. It's true. Yeah, you really got it. And start, which is evil. It's evil to be addicted to drugs.

And it's evil to have addictions. Exactly. I agree, yeah. I'm expunging the evil from me. Yeah. That's why, that's why this is the sober man episode. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Are you putting caffeine, too? Are you one of those guys now? I'm not going to quit caffeine. No, hell no. I mean, nicotine's already hard enough to quit. It's easy. Yeah? Yeah, you just stop.

Just fucking stop, dude. It's so much easier to quit cigarettes than vape. All you have to do is you sit down and that's it. That's all you have to do. Well, because the thing is with quitting cigarettes is that you can just start vaping. With vaping, you can't be like, all right, I'm quitting vaping. I will replace him with cigarettes now. Yeah, I'm gonna, right.

I'm gonna lick empty jewel pods. That's what I'm replacing it with. I'm gonna be, I'm gonna get a patch. Yeah, I was thinking to get in the lodginses. I'm gonna get a lozings. What's it? The lodgings is. I was thinking about lobsters.

Yeah. I'm gonna get a, uh, nicotine eye patch. Yeah. Yeah. And just look. That's a good. That's a good. That's a good.

You take it off at the end of the day. Your eyes just yellow. It just looks like you have big eye. You just have a small. Snake eye It'd be cool, dude One Sith eye One regular eye

I think it would work Yeah, that's the evil coming out of me It's coming out of me Through my eye Yeah, it's all I'm gonna get all the evil concentrated in my right eye

And then I'm gonna have it removed Yeah That's why the Sith Get yellow eyes Because they be smoking Fucking You get That's a thing I don't understand

The Sith eyes Anakin got them when he killed yellings. Their eyes turned yellow when they drank Tuss. Tuss? Do you remember that young thug picture? Oh, no. He posts a picture and said my eyes turned yellow when I drank Tuss and he just has

really bad jaundice. It's just what happens, dude. Yeah, you Sith are all jaundiced. That's again why they're evil. Yeah. Is Homer Simpson a Sith? Time for some film theory. Yeah, he has normal yellow skin.

Yeah. Well, he's Johnnist. Hey, I don't think he's Johndest. No. No, he's... Okay. Then why? He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's flanders, and I'm here to tell you about the God. Tell you about the God.

Tell you about the God. one god you better fucking you better believe in this fucking guy top tens i love you top 10 ways to tell someone to shut up hey buddy this might come in handy for me right now that's what i was thinking yeah yeah ananya business oh that should be number one that's right that's right that's fucking right so i guess we have to do this like when we're doing the comeback's episodes we have to somebody has to say something to make the other person to tell them okay all right hey check this out. Blueber, Blueber, Blueber, Blueber, Blueber. Shut the F-star, Star, Star, Star up. Oh, yeah, that's a better read. Let's let me try that again. I was going to go with

profanity, yeah. Let's get a cleaner take. Bluber, bloober, blooper, blueber, blue, blue. Shut the F-star, star, star up. And more than that, what, no, I actually want to hear you, say, what is Blueber mean? Blueber? Yeah, why are you saying Blue, why would you go with Blueber instead of like, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, why did you go with Blueber? Why did you go with Blueber, Dude, that's like... Sometimes you've got to hit him with the blooper. Why, don't tell him to shut up. I need to know what in your head is bloober.

I just thought it was normal, too. I didn't even process it. I was like, oh yeah, it's saying blooper to me. I better tell me shut up. What is bloober, dude? Sometimes you've got to hit him with the bloober. No, you don't have to hit him with the bloober because nobody's ever said bloober before. No, it's like blooper with a B.

All right. New rule for this show. You can't, when you're trying to say nonsense, you can't just say bloober. It'll throw off. Everybody's line, so they're trying to read. Not true. It will. The top comment here is,

one time I got angry at someone so much about all the crap he kept saying about me that I accidentally told him to shut up in my native language, and it actually made him shut up. Yeah, I feel like getting told to shut up or anything like that in a different language. Maybe you say blooper. Hey, buddy, L, shut up, though. Got your ass. Dishotupin.

No. The shut upin. I always use this. It works sometimes. Other times you just need to be straight up and say, your breath stinks. Stop polluting the air. That's kind of a bonus one under this.

Yeah, they get a hidden one. Yeah, chill out gore. Sometimes people need to learn the hard way that nobody wants to listen to them. Use this all the time. On my siblings, parents, fake friends trying to hit me up again and just annoying people.

Keep talking like that. I'm going to hit you with the bloober. You might get hit with the bloomer I hate fake siblings dude That's one thing I can't stand Fake siblings What my BFF said once Dude that's it

One time my BFF said shut the fuck up The scariest shortest story ever written This is just heck of funny Just be quit And don't be a dumb arse Always works and offends everyone Win win win This one I use

and that's from Bobby the Brony. Nice, dude. That's my man. That is hilarious. I use this one a lot, especially when someone is bothering you like your enemy. Burger also didn't work

that idiot kept talking. I wish it was more acceptable. I wish it was more acceptable to have an enemy as an adult. I use this all the time when that bitch won't stop talk a sheet. Just say that to her. I think it's good for people

to have a nice. nemesis. I think it's great to have an enemy. Like, if you're a kid and you say, like, this person's my enemy, then people are like, oh, yeah, that's normal. But if you're 22 years old, 22 years old and you say to somebody, you're my enemy, you're going to get sent to jail. You don't get sent to jail for having an enemy.

You go to get sent to jail for having an enemy if you're an adult. How long of your kid. Not if you don't act on your enemy urge. Well, telling them that your enemy is acting on it. I don't think so. The last comment on this. is I'm and then it says I'm lowercase and then in all caps I'm not going to sleep because of y'all because he's laughing too hard dude yeah it's true yeah number two it's over now

bloomer bloober bloober I can finally shut bitches up I finally just gain the power I just learned how to say shut the fuck up what to say bitch to say bitch you better stop bloomin I know you did not just say bloober to me I know you did not just say bloober in my house

you did not just hit me with the bloober when your wife has friends over and you hear the word bloober from the other room his eyes just burn it out

life get the fuck out of my house we're going to say bloober all right so someone needs to talk so that I can spit

this number two Bluber, bloober, bloober, blover, blover, blover. Well, you have to stop for this. Yeah, I just stopped. It is over now? Because I've had enough of your foul mouth smell. Oh, there we go. There's a comment from Trigger Trash Kid that says,

that guy licked a skunk. Okay, they have went overboard. Stick a cookie in their mouth. That's a reward. Yeah. You're rewarding somebody for that? steps up to you on the street. There's hollering at your woman and they're saying shit like blooper.

You don't put a cookie in their mouth. You tell them to shut the fuck up. You say, oh, it is over now? Yeah, somebody's... You said, listen, you come up to me saying, bloober with your mouth. I'm going to put a goober in your mouth. Hey, ho.

I'm going to sneeze in your mouth. And not a cooker. A cooker for you. No cucker for you. That's a treat. Yeah. That's right. Really, they suck.

They are disgusting. Who? The people who talk to have nasty, yeah, have nasty things in their mouth. All right, I'm gonna, I'm gonna bloober now, ready? Yeah. Bluber, bloober, bloober, bloober, bloober. Oh, just shut it. Go shove your head in a toilet.

That would sound exactly the same as bloober. The top comment on this one is, no way, no one should stick their head in a toilet stool, which they won't. Tell them to go catch a butterfly and fly with it. Trigger Trashkit's Kitt says dog poop would be worse That's a fair point Your head in a dog poop worse than a toilet Yeah, did a toilet Dog poop is one is one poop

People poop a thousand times in the toilet Yeah I don't can't The toilet gets pooped in over and over and over And over But those are all little teensy Wiency parts of other different poops So they might they're not even pooping

So it's all the worst parts It's all the parts that were bad enough To stay in the toilet No no It's getting flushed down. It's like Panting for dog poop. No, no, it's like panning for gold.

Exactly. So the gold stays. The most disgusting, hold on. The most valuable parts of the poop. No one gave me an answer. No one gave me an answer. What?

Is dog poop worse than human poop? No. I would rather eat dog poop than human poop. Really? I guess it depends on what the dog has been eating. Yeah. And the person, too. I feel like on average dog.

Dogs don't just walk around the house and just lick the entire floor clean. Dogs will eat out of the trash. Yeah. If they're not. But people will eat out of McDonald's, which hay. True. Don't you fucking dare. No, but I feel like, okay, would you rather eat horse poop or human poop?

Because horse poop is like just hay, basically. Yeah. Okay. Well, I don't want to eat hay. And then that guy in Philadelphia ate it. I'd rather eat something that used to be a sandwich that's something that used to be, hey. but okay there's still parts of the hay

in the poo but that's what I'm fine with I would eat the poop of a guy who only eats would you rather eat hay or a sandwich um hay no a sandwich but like imagine a guy who only eats corn would you rather eat the poop

of a horse that only eats sandwiches or a guy that only eats hay A horse that only eats sandwiches. So you just like horse poop? No, I just think that it's more... I think that it would be a better taste... Because he said you would eat the horse poop because it had hay in it. I think human poop is designed to repulse humans.

Horse poop is inspiring. Yeah. Horse poop is inspiring? I get inspired when I see horse poop. Also, somehow, there's like horse shit all over my block constantly. Oh, it's because of the horse cops. There's no horses in fucking... There's no horse cops in...

Edgewood, dude. Yeah, there are. There's not. I've seen one. You're lying. You know, how do you know, I saw one in, I saw one in, I saw one in Buddy the elf. It's the biggest poop I've ever seen. Could be just a guy.

I saw one in how high, too. Well, then maybe I want to eat homeless guy poop. The homeless guy with the biggest ass of all time. Oh, I did forget about Donnie dump trucks, the homeless guy with the biggest ass of all time. It lives on my block. When I was in L.A. with you guys, I went, that day I went skating by myself. Yeah. I found the biggest.

human poop in a parking garage I had ever seen. That was a car. Did you? Really? Yeah. You saw a poop car. It did say wind star on it.

You saw a poop car. I saw a brown wind star. But no, I mean, nobody really answered my question, I feel like. I'm sick and tired of your words. So just shut up. That's like out of nowhere almost. Yeah. Where did that come from?

Came from number four on the freaking list. Oh, what? I forgot we were, I thought I was so enamored by poop. I thought we were doing the list of, of horse poop types. A different kinds of poop you could eat. Yeah. Would you rather be baby poop or adult poop? I feel like baby poop, you could convince yourself it was like anything.

The thing is baby poop. Babies have just been eating like what? But then would you go to jail if you ate a baby poop? You would go to jail immediately if you ate a baby poop. Would you, okay, is it like the first? baby poop the green one it's a baby poop one baby's poop yeah i it's just like it's like okay so it's okay milk oh no no no i would never eat i would never eat a baby's poop i would much rather eat an adult's poop than a baby's poop i think is a baby's poop is like yeah

that's like a candy that's like a baby made out of candy yeah would you eat that one's poop is the blue made out of candy what's the adult made out of candy Would you eat a poop man out of candy entirely? And it came out of a candy boy. Would you eat that? But it's all, but candy man's poop is all black licorish. I would eat the black liquorish. Would you rather eat $4 a million?

Yes. Would you rather eat a... I don't think I would do it. where the patty is poop or a hamburger where the buns are poop? Can I have poop in all three? I'd rather have just like a, I rather, if I don't want to, yeah, I don't want to pollute it with anything. I want to convince myself it's just something that I have to eat and it's not like, you know,

because I'm a picky eater. I'll take the buns off and just eat the burger. I'll eat a hamburger where the bun is poop as long as the buns are lettuce. Yes, yeah, because I'm low-carb right now. Yeah. I'm doing keto. I can't eat the buns. I'm doing I keto.

I can't eat this. Yeah, I'm too busy fighting. Yeah, I'm sick of you're tired of your words, so just shut up. Let's see. Nah, I got cancer from your words, said Drew a Trash Kid. Damn, I actually, low-key... That's fire. Cancer from you talking.

Damn, you gave me cancer. Do you have to pay their bills now? If you give somebody cancer, you have to pay their medical bills, yes. Damn. I would love to get rid of it. Patrick's law. What about a corn dog, would the corn or the dog would be poop, which is better? I would rather have the dog be poop.

Yeah. Because the thing that you taste the most in a corn dog is the corny part. Yeah. What about the stick? The stick is poop. Honestly, I'll pay for that like a normal. Korean-style corn dog. I don't.

What's a Korean-style corn dog? That's the difference? Well, then. I know there's a different. Korean corn dog Korean corn dog Korean corn dog Korean corn dogs are made out of

it's a hot dog or cheese stick and it's dumped it's made out of rice flour and I think it has cheese that's really neat that that definitely changes Patrick just wanted to show us that he knew

that there was a corn dog that was Korean stuff no no no no no no no Pat just wanted to show us that he could Google something, which he likes to show at least once every episode. French rate, it's got French, it's called a gongja dog. A gongnam dog? A gonga dog? Yeah, I'll smoke that.

It's a hot dog in French fries on a stick. So it's poop wrapped in French fries. Or would you rather, so poop wrapped in French fries, corn dog. Would you rather eat a corn dog or a plate of French fries? Would you rather eat poop or French fries? poop. I'm guessing poop comes with a bigger reward than

French fries. And I'm all about the reward. Even if nobody told me, I'm going to eat it and just be like, I will either get my reward here on earth or in heaven from Yeah, this is exactly like why I would pick Jay Z. I would pick dinner with Jay Z rather

than a million dollars. Because he's going to poop on a plate. I'm going to eat poop with Jay Z. Would you rather eat poop with Jay Z or $1 million? A poop dinner with Jay-Z or 50K. What do you say? I'll take a poop dinner because I can stick him there for a while.

It's going to take us a while to move to some poop dude. I mean, he's going to want to watch. He's going to want to sit there and see me eat the whole thing. If he's not, every second he spends not talking to me, he legally has to be eating poop. Exactly. And I've got a camcorder and the connection to the internet. Yeah, so I can fall asleep like it's a lecture and just record it and watch it all later. Yeah.

And then I can upload the video to YouTube. and only take it down if he gives me $2 million. Plus free poop. Plus free poop. Yes, sir. Yeah. Yes, sir, Ski. Uh, be careful.

You might choke on those words. You know, that's... You know, that's... Oh. Hey, be careful. You might choke on those words, Cam. Oh, fuck. Oh.

Yeah. This is true of humor. The perfect amount of passive-aggressive. My thing. Yeah, that's my thing. My style of telling people. people to be quiet. L.O.L. Humor.

Fething yes. I'm saying this crap. This is LOL humor. This is lull humor. Yeah. We should start a website called Loll humor where people can post their memes. If you, yeah, yeah. If a poop is going at 30 miles an hour and another poop is going at 40 miles an hour, which one are you at the train tracks with your mouth open going a middle school a middle school math test that says that's like poop plus two equals four

find poop find poop and bring it to the teacher so he can eat the poop socially awkward penguin got to decide between a million dollars in a poop dinner with Jay Z took the money yeah damn that penguin was so awkward

god damn that was the most awkward penguin of all time. That really is. That really well humor. There was a Bloodhound gang song. There was. Are you going to Google something again? No, I'm not going to...

Oh, no. Yeah, and I thought that Justin Bieber was boring. Oh, come on. Got your ass. Slip it into conversation. Thank you. That is a good one, dude. Yeah, and I thought Justin Bieber was a girl.

Turns out it's you. Top comment. Then a Bieber fan says, you are the most boring person on the planet and no one would want to talk to you ever goodbye, loser. Damn. Next top comment.

I like this because I can use this against my mother. Yeah. Moms a hate when you compare them to Justin Bieber. You can use any of these against your mom. No mom. Calling you a beautiful young girl. Yeah, no. You look like Justin Bieber.

Hey, guys, check this out. Justin Bluber. Oh. Oh. Hey, DSA members, put that one as your display name. You'll get some laughs. That's true. Justin Booblober.

Can you shut your trashy dust bin, please? I mean, I want to read one more comment from the Bieber one. Wow, I jumped again. Yeah, and then you can try it, Pat. Okay, yeah, because no one was really talking very much either. I was telling Caleb to shut up. I wasn't really talking, so. Beber is just a young man who tries to please everyone.

He does make mistakes, but he keeps the money coming in. Sometime we do learn. We just have to see. Kind of shed some light on the situation from a different perspective. Wow That's kind of like the boss A nicely creative way to include him Wink wink wink from Billy V

I'm nice and creative All right now you can try Pat But someone needs to say something also Yeah And I wouldn't be caught dead Can you shut your trusty dustbin please That was horrible What you just did was horrible

Can you shut your trashy dustbin Please? That was such a bad read dude Can you shut your trashy dustbin please? There we go. Can you just your trashy sush? Can you be a trashy dust? Can you get your shamaner?

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Pat can't read right now. What? Someone says, uh, um, I would never leave the lid. Can you shut? Shut. Can you charge your fucking mouth? Trash.

Trassy. Do you charge your fucking mouth, dude? Can you charge your ass? Shut your friend. Can you charge your mouth? Yeah, you're just talking to some of it. So we're looking at the fourth quarter of it. Can you charge your fourth quarter of a mouth?

Such a trash and just, that's, please. Garcher, circen, starts. Yeah. What are you talking about? Sorry, I thought you said blooper. I thought you were saying blooper. I thought you said bloober. I had to tell you to charge your search.

Such your, sorry. Someone says, just tell them to take a walk, or else you will take a walk. take their gas money. Case close. Case close. I like number eight a lot. There's a really good comeback to the trashy dustbin one. What is it? Use it on me. Use the, say, say. Can you shut your trashy dust bin, please? Um, I would never leave the lid to my trash can open. Oh. But what if both of your hands are busy? Can you chart your bloomer? Can you chart your pooper? Can you chart your blooper?

Hey, there we go. Can you charge your blooper? Oh, man. What? That one's nuts. That one goes hard. Bye for now means I am going on vacation for a while. No phone calls, no text messages.

Just me and the wind. My life has begun now. Just me and the wind. Yeah, man. Just me and the wind. Yeah. No one around to say blueber to me. Mm-mm.

No one around to tell me to sharsh my sharsh or sharsh. Charge my farce and scars. Yeah. And then you're, you're chilling at the hotel pool, you see a car pull in, who jumps out the back? But Jay-Z in a big plate of poop here to interrupt your vacation. And he kills you. I thought I told you I wanted the money. Get the fuck out of here.

Jay-Z keeps falling me. He just needs an excuse me to treat me to a poop dinner. Would you eat Jay-Z's poop for $1 million? Or would you read a book about and eat? Would you read a book and you open the book up and haul it out as a piece of poop that you have to eat for $2 million? Would you rather eat a poop book or read a fart book? Would you rather eat a chocolate book or throw up and eat the throw up? Would you rather feast on a frozen fart or prowl on a pretty poop?

Yeah, that's a tough one I'd feast on a frozen fort Would you rather Or dine on a bunch of crunch Or diarrhea I was saying the other day About Like if I was into like shit

It would be such a problem Because it was like You know like people are in the shit They want like a normal like poop swirl on them Or they want to see their poop swirl on somebody And I would just like I would just like Buckshot

shotgun blast diarrhea on whoever I was fucking every time that I wanted to come. You have like a... I'm like physically incapable of having a fetish. You have like a gatling gun crank on the side of your ass. Yeah, but it's just like, it's like if he popped the top off of someone mixing paint at Home Depot. Yeah. And that's like... It's like when the lid comes off the blender when you're making a smoothie.

Yeah, it's like, dude, it's impossible for me to... Dude, just like Barrett from Final Fantasy 7 just with pooping his gun. Exactly, you have a poop connected A blender bus Yeah Got a blender butt Yeah All right

You look beautiful with your mouth closed Thank you Keep it closed You look I can get my mouth really small Watches Much as Nobody can see you except us

What are you doing And it's not And nope It's not that small You're not even making that small of the mouth What about this one? Okay, for the listeners, Cam and Pat are making their mouths small.

Whose mouth is smaller? Caleb, answer. Between you and Pat? Pat, Pat has less lip going on here. But I think he has the advantage of more facial hair on the bottom. How about now? It covers his lip a little. Hey, you know right now, I just want to put a full. fork in it

I want to put a fork in my mouth too yeah yeah full of fucking spaghetti yeah that's right there we go see that's a good comeback to the to the shut up comeback you know yeah what spaghetti hey man shut up hey spaghetti yeah yeah I don't know if yeah I want to shut up too I need a plate of spaghetti

yeah that would work someone says that was a really bad one and mad my friend stab me in the face with a fork and proceed to eat my skin. Mad, mad, mad. Do not use on anyone you would like to know to be in prison or psych ward. I would also like to know the real name, home address, and personal email slash phone number of the original poster you will be hearing from my lawyer.

What? This guy's friend ate his skin. Yeah. Oh, crap. My friend ate my skin. Would you rather eat your friend's skin or is poop? Eat? I would rather eat poop than skin.

But it's your friends. I'd rather eat skin. Well, if it's my friend, I guess I might become more like him. Goldmember did it, it's good for me. Goldmember is not a role model, Pat. I look up to Goldmember. He's an evil monster from a TV show. TV show?

Come on, he had a whole movie new death. A long, long, long TV show. A really long, one hour special. Hey, Pat, do you know how to tape your mouth close for free? I just did it. No, you have to use tape. God, damn it. Why does it have to be for free?

Shut up. I said it. You're right. You beat me to it. That's number 11. Why is that the contender? Sometimes number two. You've got to stick with the classics from Turkey Asylum.

The person, this is a poster who's seeking asylum in Turkey. It's a political outcast. There's a refugee, yeah. Wow. A prisoner. I think this one is really common from Cosmo. This is the only website that you get in Guantanamo Bay. I'm so, hold on, Cosmo.

I clicked on Cosmo's page and their profile pictures. just the logo for Six Flags Magic Mountain. That rules. Zip it up. No, you zip it up. No, no one wants, wants to zip it up, but they will shut up.

Try giving them a list of chores that need to be done. They will run, question mark. Okay, I've had enough. That's kind of like a kind of parenty. I don't know if I like that one. Yeah, that's not very good. we all have enough that's when you leave the house and take the bank card in the car and say hello florida or anywhere town to get this stressed off of me even if you have to hop a bus just go go go hello florida stop whining i get enough of this crap from my six-year-old then he's less annoying than you at least he shuts up your six-year-old husband no oh oh my oh my oh my god help help help i'm jock

A little 60-year-old brother better than the big whining child. The big whining child isn't, it's like a... The big whining child is a crypted. Yeah. The big whining child is like one of the things from killer clowns. Yeah. It's like a baby that runs through a grocery store. I said this to my friend and everyone was like, oh, as if it was a dis, and the gay boy started crying.

It's the gay boy. The gay boy, like a different guy. The gay boy's a different cricket. He got over excited. He started crying. Yeah. Gay boy advanced. The class gay boy.

It's a superlative. He always gets, you get so stressed out with his people saying. Class clown and gay boy. He's a kid in class gayest boy and gayest girl. It's just some giant fat kid with a frown. They already give out the class gay boy award. It's called Best Eyes. Am I right?

Oh my God. Did they give that out at your school? They did, yeah. They gave out best smile. Same thing. They gave out, they gave me next Will Ferrell. They gave me best dick sucker. Wow.

I don't think I got anything. I sucked a guy's dick at school. He was the principal. He was my dad. Yeah. No. Give me best son award. Best son because I blew my dad at school.

You need a promotion I'm sorry, you were talking You read it wrong I'm sorry, were you talking, Pat? No Oh, do you turn that around on you dude Top comment is My teacher didn't care about my cousin passing

How rude Just like Just loudly whispering your friend in class Just being an asshole and really annoying And then the teacher calls out and be like We're talking about my cousin who died Sorry, I didn't realize there was a rule Against talking about my dead cousin and being sad

Oh, there's a good script here Down here Oh, let's read it Patrick is Sally Okay But the title of the script is best come back to say to girls that don't shut up Oh, so this is a micro list You be a you be the narrator, Caleb

Okay Speaking of them makes the tiniest peep shut mix you so like sure talking while I am as quiet as can be

shut up why don't you no you show this is the worst written script I've ever read me 24 they made a note

that you're supposed to say a sound that's between shush and shoes You swoosh. You swoosh. You swoosh. Shosh. Shosh.

Shosh. Shosh. Stop talking. Your voice is worse than Beber. Oh. Whoa. Trigger Trashkin says I will practice to make it better. L.

well, this is enough to force a person to commit suicide. A good insult always includes Dustbin Beaver being better. Dustbin Beaver. Oh, number 17. I'm not interested, please. Top comment from Trigger Trashkin. I'll try to make you interested.

Oh. Good for Trigger Trash Kid. I mean, T.TK is a good guy. Yeah. Hey, Caleb, you know that your vocal chord is horrible? What? Of course my vocal is Trebil. Trebile.

Trebile. I talk on the phone at work. Scream at kids when I get home. Yell at my hubby. He was out all night, so now I cannot talk. I put on a tape with Brittany Spears and play a couple of songs by the Beatles and a song by the Dells.

Oh, what a night. So my vocal cords seem to be doing all right until tonight? Iron Sabbath Priest comments, LOL, what is this? 1970? I'm going to use this. Boy, I wonder what Iron Sabbath Priest's favorite bands are.

Let's take a look at this profile. Probably Iron Sabbath. A professional doomer, dark music lover. I love dark music. Damn. I love dark. I love being Gothic. Oh, really? Pat.

You know, the smartest people stay silent for long periods of time. Whew. I can't take it anymore. Put a sock in your pie hole, you big buzzard. Fuck, dude. You think I'm a big buzzard? Don't talk crap about the only friend you are going to get. You think I'm big?

Don't ever pass up your chance to shut up. Go die. K-Y-S. What? Shut the fuck up, noob also get wrecked. Can you shut your mouth or is it always open? Are you writing a book? Just stop.

Do you know how to shut your mouth? Just give it a bloody rest. We're all fed up with you. Use your right to remain silent. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? I'm sick of all these people talking. Wait, you're so annoying. It sounds like more than one person.

I honestly do not care at all. Go to hell. Can you please STFU? Kill yourselves. Chup. This is very cool, X-X. Hey, chup. Chup. Chup.

Chup. Chup. You better hit him with a chup when they blooper you. A bit of shush, thanks. He said bloober, so I told him to chup. No cut. Yo, you did not just chup my bloober. That does, both of those sounds like,

feely slang. Yeah. Yeah, I'm about to chup this John. Yo, I told that John to bloober, and then he told me to chup. Yeah, I hit that John with the bloober, and he shup. He chipped. He didn't get it. The word John is so, for the fact that it just means, like, thing.

Anything, yeah. Yeah, it's just like, they were just like, we thought of a funny word. We're going to use it as much as possible. Right. It's just, like, frindle. Let's come up with, let's come up with a cool Boston. Blooper. Blueber.

Yeah. Blueber is the new John for Boston. Yeah, I just picked up a bloober from the bloomer. Yeah. I'm about to go home and bluber it. People have these bloopers. just bloobered. Yeah.

I just put my bluber in the blub. Yo, chub, my blover. Yo. Don't say my blover. Yeah, my blover. No, that's not. No, I meant it, I meant it like a... In the YG way, no, I understood.

No, no, not in the YG way. I got, I heard you. Yeah, no. Like YG, yeah. No, no. You meant it like the Michael Richards way, right? No. Come on, I bet.

What's wrong with you, dude? That's not true. Oh, this Chup's. you. Did you see that like somebody downloaded an old Morowind mod and it had the Michael Richard. It was called Morowind 2

and it just has Michael Richards doing that but it replaces all of the stuff with elf slurs. Yeah, that's some funny asses it to me. Yeah, a bit of shit. La la la la la la la la. La la la la. Close your speaking hole.

Shut This one's good. Do you know my friend Chad? Chat up. See, because that sounds like chat up, which means to talk, though. So it doesn't really work. That's true. Yeah, you're chatting me up right now.

Yeah. It's like, yeah. You look ugly with your mouth open. See, it's like a... Play Shut Up by Charlie Brown. Shut up by Charlie Brown. A DJ Do was an awesome EDM song that I first heard a part of when I watched a daily CNN-10 episode played at school.

It played at the end. I watched the episode again and ask Siri for the song, which is how I know the name of it. It has no lyrics, but the title is enough. Not to mention, the song is awesome. Shut it. It's up with all the dustbin stuff. Yeah, your dustbin is full enough, you turd,

and then number 53, erg! When are you going to shut that dustbin? It stinks. It must be British slang. Number 51. Knee, knee, knee. Knee, knee. Put it where the sun does not shine.

All right. Please, just please. all right i think uh yeah oh um today uh uh our uh our episode episode with um up close and personal oh yeah comes out if you're listening to this right now go listen to chep close and personal chup close and blueburl that's right because they're they're great guys we uh j and matthew yep too great give him a follow give him a subscribe baby yep yeah and then we're gonna play the episode at the end of this one. You just download theirs and then put it on to ours.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, Patrick, chat up. Oh, fuck!