Podcast About List - Ep. 142 - The stonely onler seets to feel his nime at nice..

Episode Date: April 21, 2021

420 episode www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist

You're listening to Israel's number one podcast. How do you're going to all the list? Every crap monster. Now I remember. Now I remember how to record an episode. No, you don't. The next hour will prove you don't remember a single fucking thing about it, pal. What?

Hey, happy 420, guys. What? Fuck 420. We're recording this on 420. I hate 420. Guys, I'm so high right now. I forgot how to record an episode. Great, and now Pat's high.

Great, another person of my life. I look he just, I just hotboxed my entire house, too. I closed all the windows and the doors, and I put a plastic bag over my head, and I was smoking weed out of my pen with a lighter, and God damn, I got high. Yeah, dude, okay, 420. Yeah, like, we need another junky holiday. Yeah, I put a lithium. Christmas.

I put a lithium ion battery on the stove, and I was just inhaling the feet. fumes from that. Dude, I was getting so high, dude. I ate a whole ass brownie and I left a gas on. I'm high on ketosis right now. I don't need any fucking weed. Yeah, dude. I'm high on a lack of carbohydrates. I'm sorry, I'm so high. I'm so high. Yeah, dude, I'm high on, I'm high on K2. I smoke cush two times. Ooh, okay, that was actually pretty good. All right, that was actually, that's pretty good, actually. I smoke two joints at night. Are you guys seriously showing them for work high right now? I'm getting dug with high right now

I smoked a bong that was a thousand feet tall my dad has never smoked weed in his life and he's a huge getting dug with high fan yeah he just sits there how does he even understand what they're talking about I know dude they're so fucked up I will tell you though I will tell you though stay up late past like midnight

you're gonna understand a little bit about the stoner's mind just from sleep deprivation will drive you a little giggly yeah that's true yeah A little slap happy You would light up after that Dude, that's it I mean TV is going to be the funniest thing to you ever

Yeah, I'm cross-fitting You're going to be watching in-show-mercials Dude, you're going to be sitting... What's your guys favorite two things to get cross-faded with? I like sleep-sleepiness and adult swim Yeah Yeah, those are my things I sit there That's pretty good

Yeah, I usually do pretzels and hummus and lying down And that gets me, that gets me pretty, I laugh pretty hard at SpongeBob That's pretty good. I like to, my cross-fading is, uh, I, I just take a post-it note and I put it under my lip like this. And I go, and I breathe in and out like that. Yeah. Oh, man. And then I, uh, you, what you want to do? I smell a, I smell shoo-goo. You want to take a, you want to take a brown paper lunch bag and hold, and just breathe in and out. That's what I said, that's what I put,

you, I put shoe, I put shoe-goo in the bag. Tell you what it'll get you. You put one nug of marijuana in there. It's like smoking. Tell you what it'll get you insanely high Putting like one nug of weed In a brown paper bag And lighting the bottom of the bag Just inhaling that Yeah dude

And you can leave it on your neighbor's porch too For a wild ass high prank Just a fucking swagged out prank You know what I like to do? I like to fucking put some epoxy Or gorilla glue into my penis tip And try to pee That shit will get you so insanely high dude

Starts fucking filling up like a balloon Oh my God dude And you tell your girl You say, try and get that out. Yeah. Yeah, with your ass. She has to chomp on it. Or something.

You got a chomp on the tip. Use your ass to chomp my penis, please. Dude, there's a... Turn your beehole into a chame chomp. I know you got teeth down there. Learned in Bible school. Show me that asshole. Chomp on my shit.

What you got to do, you go over to your great uncle's house. You put your mouth on his stoma. You breathe in. You're going to get the craziest buzz in your life. He's gonna deflate like a balloon Go to Grandpa's house Find the kidney stones that he brought back from the Urgent Care

Crush him up and snort him, dude That'll get you fucking crazy high I've definitely talked about getting nicotine poisoning On the podcast before But have you guys ever Niqueteen poisoning? I never got like nicotine poisoning I definitely thought I definitely almost threw up

Sometimes How dare you talk bad about the holy nicotine flour? I've thrown up from smoking too many cigarettes so many times. From the Blessed Tobacco Plant? Yeah. Really? Uh-huh. I don't believe it, dude.

You're a propaganda artist. It happened. Nope. It's definitely, I don't think it's like... I bet you believe those paintings on front of the cigarettes, too. I'm going to tell you... Ever heard of CGI? That's how they removed all the guy's teeth.

I don't know if it's, like, poisoning that I got, but it's definitely, like... Did you turn green? Yeah, I turn to green. I want to let you guys in on a little nicotine secret, okay? Okay. Everybody knows it doesn't get you high like weed, right? But that's because you're lighting the cigarette on fire. You get it cold, gets you high.

Nicotine overdose. I'm on WebMD. One molecule off of gold. Did you know a cigarette? You know they invented a cigarette that was one molecule wide? Whoa. So you can't see it and you can hide it from your teachers. That's actually fucking genius, dude.

Yeah. Son, what are all these damn molecules in this shoebox under your bed? Hey, you tell me, genius, huh? Go ahead and try, fucking asshole. That is. Dude, it's actually low-key genius. Instead of storing your weed under your bed, you just store the crafting ingredients you need to craft weed. True.

Dirt, seeds, weed, dye. Hydroponic structures. It's so easy. And magic. An alchemical table. What's the thing in Minecraft that you can put on the seeds and make it grow? Can we not talk about Minecraft on the weed holiday? Can we keep these two things fucking separate?

Because I don't want to think about drugs and my favorite game on the same day. There's a weed mod for Minecraft. Did you know that? I don't even want to know what it's called. But it's probably called my weed. Mineweed. No. Speaking of mine weed.

It's all dickweed, and it's named after you. Adolf Spliffler's birthday today. True. Sheesh. A doink. A doink splifler. A, yo, y' doink splifler's favorite day is today. He didn't Hitler, like, kill, yeah, he killed himself on April 30th, 10 days after his birthday.

How do you think he killed himself? He had a fucking weed molar. He popped at CBD molar. He killed himself in the bunker. He overdosed on CBD. He hail high. and fucking popped his secret CBD cap. That guy was in a different dimension, though.

I want you guys to watch it. Yeah, you don't think weed's addictive. That's what people say. It's not addictive, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm still on the nicotine poisoning webmd page. I bet you are. Symptoms typically last an hour or two after a mild overdose.

So it's technically like an overdose on nicotine. Dude, it's not 4th of July. which is the 420 for nicotine it's fucking 420 all right yeah I don't want to hear about nicotine anymore chill okay that's really good you can go about that's really good you can fucking do this on our Bastille Day episode yeah come on dude we're talking about weed that's true yeah I think that yeah 420 for cigarettes is a lot better for Bastille Day because it's French yeah well anyway you guys know I'm not French yeah you are I'm white and I smoke On 4th of July.

Isn't it, is it weird to you guys that French dressing is orange? It's not about, it's not weed. I don't care. Can you just talk about weed? I'm sorry, I'm having ideas. I'm having ideas right now. No, you're fucking not, dude. This is what you should be talking about.

Listen to me. I'm so high on pot news. This is what you should be saying, okay? Remember that? Oh, you can't overdose on weed. My cousin overdosed on weed. He smoked the joint too long. He burned his damn fingers.

Okay, that's the kind of thing you should be saying. Okay. My cousin got addicted to weed. Don't talk about some French dressing shit. He got stuck in a traveling sex circus, sucking his own dick, trying to pay for a gram of a strain called Snoop Dog's ass. Right? That's what happened to him.

Yeah. Yep. And then he fucking came in his own mouth, got himself pregnant. Do you think that's funny? A little bit. You think, oh, that's fucking funny. My cousin got himself pregnant by coming in his mouth and had an ass child. You think that's really funny?

And guess what? I'm his godfather. I shouldn't be making fun of your godson. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's my fucking godson. Yeah, the bod between godfathers and godsons is the bond. You think the bod, between a godson? That's not what I said, I said bond.

I said bond. You definitely said, listen, can you at least say the bond between the godfather? Why are you so interested in Caleb's godson's bod? No, no. It's not what's going on there. Uh-uh. No way. Nothing high about that.

You know, anyway, even for you. Imagine a damn circus where everyone's smoking weed. The animals wouldn't even jump through the hoops. They'd just be laying there like, damn, man, I want some snacks. Man, do you imagine at the zoo or the circus? Yeah, we have a gorilla playing Xbox. You're at the circus and the animals get high and then they accidentally find a box of animal crackers. Oh, no.

Imagine the crisis they would have. That's like when I watch modern family and I'm like, damn, dude, I'm also part of a modern family. Damn, damn, this kid looks like my dad. I'm like, damn, I'm like, damn, these two dads, they look like tigers. You ever get high and go to the aquarium? No. Back when I was a fucking drug addict I did. Yeah?

What did you see? See, I saw everything, dude. I looked at the jellyfish and right as the edible kicked in and I turned to Jan and I said, we have to leave right now. We cannot be here. And then I don't know if I talked about this I was like I left It was the first time I had eaten an edible

In like years And I left the aquarium And there was like They had like animatronic dinosaurs set up In the exit that like screamed at you It's the worst days of my entire life dude I'm not kidding I've been there

That was like my In as a precaution for people who take Yeah that was like my childhood Like I went to it all the time I go there one time high And there's a traveling exhibition Where as you leave the place you finally get out of the fucking dark, evil jellyfish room,

a velociraptor jumps at you and screams. Damn. Dude, you know how to keep a stoner out of your house, dude? You put a mirror on the door, he'll get confused. And start trying to run away. Yeah. He's going to do his fighter fuck response on the mirror. You put a two-way mirror, you start screaming.

Two-way mirror? Uh-huh. Mears are always two-ways. Yeah. Front, yeah. yeah up and down it's so fucked up that that it can be called a two-way mirror or a one-way mirror and it means the same thing right yeah i never that's a high thought that i had to be a correct one right god can't imagine a three-way mirror you i can't stop imagining a three-way mirror oh my gosh sheesh yep me me you and your

brother yeah me and we're all and we're all doing funny things in the mirror yep oh my god Yeah, I haven't smoked weed in a very long time, not since I threw up on my bed. Yeah, I haven't smoked. I pretty much every night. I don't, oh, that's why you're like that, huh? Dude, I'm high as hell all the time. I hate you, you fucking druggie. My brain basically looks like a bong at this point.

Are you having a very smoky 420 today, Cameron? Oh, absolutely, dude, I walked around. Dude, smoke weed on camera. Bro! If you're such a fucking hot head, I can't smoke on camera. No, no. Yeah. come on it'll be the first it'll be the first time anyone's done that getting Cameron

getting high uh-huh no getting Cameron for crying it's funny that all three of us have just just oh we can't smoke weed just can't do it dude I just like something that was 13 year olds do we think of 13 year olds will smoke weed and then win a million dollars in a fortnight tournament oh yeah and we are three grown men who can't smoke weed unless it is twilight it's funny I'm fucking evil. I can't smoke. I only smoke weed at night because it gives me the worst psychosis of my life. And I think that the Matrix is real, but it's red. There's red numbers. That's terrifying. It's so scary. Evil Matrix?

It's so fucked up. Oh, I can't even imagine. But I do it every night, because otherwise I'll lie awake and think, damn, what if the Matrix was red? Yeah. And it won't scare me, but it will intrigue me. It's crazy how many times I smoked, like, I used to take Adderall from ADHD, and I I would just smoke weed and just have the worst time of my life. And I was like, I just don't understand why, like, I can't smoke weed. Dude, when I was on Adderall, that was the only time I could smoke weed. Yeah, I can't smoke weed ever.

I don't think, I think there's something in my brain since I can't do it. Smoking weed, and then I'm just normal again. It's like one of the most disappointing things. Yeah, I can't, I can't smoke weed for shit. I suck at it. Yeah, well, that's because you're not using the right. the right formulas i think i could smoke cbd and get like high from it yeah yeah no that that's a i think plenty of people smoke cbd and think they're high yeah yeah i was really hoping that that would

work for me just because i'm like such a like a lightweight when it comes to any drugs like that i could just take CBD and like it would put me to sleep or fuck me up or something and i wouldn't have to like spend money on weed and shit but it just didn't do anything and so it's good for your joints The people are so, the people who think this stuff works are such a loser. Yeah, I'm the biggest fucking loser. They're lying, dude. They clearly are, dude. I know you ain't getting high, you fucking St. Jude's ass, a little pussy.

Fucking smoke some real, do a real drug. Yeah, they wouldn't get it. They don't know. Tell you what'll help. Cigarettes, calm me down a little bit. Yeah. You got cancer now? Just fucking speed up the process.

I mean, what, honestly, if you're going to, if you have cancer, why not smoke? It can't make it worse. Well, it depends on what kind of cancer you have. No, it doesn't. It doesn't depend. Like a tumor on your, a malignant tumor on your leg, starts smoking cigarettes. Yeah, dude. Oh, I miss, you look sick.

I miss cigarettes so much, dude. I miss, like, I miss taking, like, my, my, fucking, my Adderall for my ADD, and then smoking, like, three cigarettes by 8 a.m. Yeah. And just, like, when I first moved in New York. I keep leaving the classroom and I come back, just reeking of cigarettes, just like, yep. Yep. Yeah, that was, sorry, I just took a. really insane-smelling shit, and it just, like, fucking cover my whole body.

And I fell into the toilet and I had to clean it off. I don't miss having, like, a yellow finger. You had a yellow finger? I smoked so much that my finger changed color. You get the stained. Right? Yeah, the stained finger. That's why I wear motorcycle gloves.

It also adds to how cool I look. I wore oven mitts, dude, when I'm smoking weeds, I don't get green all over my hands. Put on my fucking, my oven mitts and my apron, just to not aroused suspicion from the cops. That's what the guy who played Grand Moff Tarkin would do. He would, on set, he would wear gloves. It's also what the guy who played Grand Theft Auto would do. That's me. Smoking cigarettes in a basement, playing GTA3.

Oh, my God, dude. How cool can you get? Oh, my God. The best thing ever. The best fucking thing ever. Smoking cigarettes and playing Grand Theft Auto, pretend that I'm smoking in a car. Yep.

Getting used to smoking, like, shitty cheap cigarettes, and then somebody hands you two Marlboro Reds, and then you're on your roof trying to kill yourself. Yeah. And you're throwing. Growing up, because, like, it's too strong. You're like, what the f? That is not a tobacco in that.

I don't know if it's local to New Hampshire, or if it's, like, Circle K's, like, brand of, like, cheap cigarettes. But there's a cigarette company called Traffic Cigarettes, which is one of the most disgusting cigarette names I've ever heard. Traffic? I smoked one pack of Marlboro Reds, and I was honestly convinced there was, like, mayonnaise in them. I was like, this is not. Sure. You should, this is, I feel insane right now. Mm-hmm. I used to smoke, dude, I smoked Camel Blue so much. I would go through like a pack a day. Wow. You're gonna die.

Oh, I'm, yeah, I'm totally gonna get lung cancer or something. Let's go, baby. Woo! I can't, I can't believe I can, like, walk in like, oh, no, I get, I get winded pretty easy. Don't you skateboard everywhere? Yeah. Yeah, you can't walk. Yeah, because I'm too busy skating. Yeah.

Dude, that's the fat man's wheelchair. You can't call me fat. Yeah, I'm heartbroken. I saw Pat the other day for my birthday. But you were before. It wasn't fat, which means that either me or Cam has to step it up, get fucking fatty shit. Yeah, I know. What are you going to do now?

I don't know what the show is anymore. Uh-huh. You're going to have to dig at me really personally. She's bringing up old relationships and shit. I'm like, huh, you bet you wish you were fat now. Yeah This is going to be a big wake-up call It's so fucking funny how

Oh dude The fans image of me Yeah we could just called you fat over and over Because we thought it was funny to do You were like never even that fat to begin with And then all the fans are like See a picture of you And are like

What have they been talking about? Right I was I mean I did find a picture of me from like December And I was pretty round I'm going to start doing editing on every photo that you post. You're going to, like, put me through the fat filter.

Insanely fat, so I can keep it up. Yeah. Fatty. Yeah. Fucking fat ass. That's right. Wink. It was really funny, like, you seeing me on your birthday, and you're just like,

oh, you're so skinny now. It was sad. It was, honestly, it was heartbreaking, dude. It was like seeing somebody burn a pile of money in front of me. That's what it fucking felt like. I was like, who am I? What do... What am I now?

Yeah. I'm not... This sucks, dude. Mm-hmm. It's awful. I ruined the whole show. I know, dude. You can't destroy everything.

You have to grow some hair now, dude. Yeah. Why? Yeah, I know. It's the power. Yeah, I guess... Oh, dude, I don't want that. I don't want...

You don't want to grow hair? I'm losing my hair. I'm losing my hair pretty quick. No. You know what? Yeah, I don't want to grow any hair. I actually look being bald. Dude, bald is sick, dude.

I'm insanely aerodynamic. I'm a better swimmer. Dude, if you grow some hair, people will stop looking down at the ground and confusing you with a nickel. People are going to stop thinking you're a nickel. I'm not that small.

It would be funny to get Caleb like, have you seen those like Instagram videos where, like, the guys get, like, fitted for, uh, two pays. Yeah, it's also always a black guy. So I just, no, I've never, not, not the ones I'm saying. We have very different explore pages. Yeah. There are two pages that are exactly the same, but one is has underscore white at the end.

No, but I have, there's like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the two pays for white guys suck, dude. Yeah. The ones, the ones for black guys, they've perfected it. It's, like, it's, it's immaculate, and it's amazing. And you don't, and they just stay on forever. You don't even have to take them off. Oh, yeah.

Have you seen them, like, pulling, like, the... You might see me pull up with an afro pretty soon. Yeah? Yeah. I don't think you should do that. Why? If I can get somebody to agree to do it and give me a written... A written...

You should get a rainbow clown afro. Yeah, but then I'm still doing blackface because of the... The zebra for Madagascar. Come on, man. What, dude? It's played by Chris Rock. I thought that was played by a zebra. You ruined the fucking immersion for me.

I'm sorry. God damn it. You're actually going to tell me the fucking penguins aren't spies. No! No, I have nothing to tell you, actually. Oh, thank God. Thank God.

I don't think I could have fucking handled that. I will tell you unless you eat 12 donuts in front of me right now. Yeah, you're trying to become a gainer. You're trying to make me become a gainer again. Yeah, I'm going to start making plans with you and be like, hey, dude, there's like an amazing bowl of lard down the street. from you it's insane dude yeah hey man do you want to do you want to like sit down all day with me do you want to sit down and not move for a few weeks with me all right pat new day new lobster spot

let's go oh fuck dude you could do bring your bib oh my god if you were buying me lobster every day like bake stuff lobster and like lots of hermador jade you were patrons the fucking step it up and get him just so insanely fat spending 80 dollars a day on lobster breakfast I'm not drinking anymore. You can't even fucking use the cheat codes. I know, dude. We've got to make up these calories somewhere. Yeah.

I need to get you a job as an ice cream tester. That'll be my next move. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to start setting you up on dates with scientists who are trying to create the biggest, fattest man in the world. Those aren't scientists.

Those are just, like, feeders and gainers. They're called heroes. Yeah. If there is, like, a job like that, like, an ice cream tester job, where like it pays really well and you get to eat ice cream all day and everyone's like well what's the downside it's like oh by the end of the year working there you're going to be insanely fat can you imagine like if your job was was uh ice cream taste you spend all day tasting ice cream you get home and your wife or husband ask for oral sex can you imagine how

disgusting that must be you just been tasting fucking pecan cream your mouth is ice cold yeah rainbow sherbert all day most amazing flavors and You're just tasting a fucking salty, like, butthole. Yeah. Oh, dude. That's got to be an awful life. Just ruin everything for you. Fuck.

Yeah, you'd never be able to eat anything else again. Yeah, the ice cream tester... Unless they come with pussy-flavored ice cream. The ice cream tester factory actually just shut down after a disgruntled employee got brain freeze and shut the place up. It was really fucked up. Yeah, they cut his brain open afterwards. And to prove... You know, we always suspected that there was long-term...

effects of brain frees. But then Will Smith cut him open and saw the head. Just an ice cube. An ice cube stuck in the cerebellum. Yeah, there's an ice cube in his hippocampus that actually led to him being extremely violent.

Hmm. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Dude, that's why you freaking smoke weed instead of eating ice cream. Yep. No negative effects. But when you smoke weed, you want to eat some

ice cream. Not me, dude. Yeah, no, I go for pretzels and chips, baby. When I smoke weed, food terrifies me. Is that? I, is that so? I don't think I've eaten something after smoking weed in years. It's the only way I can get myself to eat anything.

I smoked, when I smoked weed, I ate pretzel or peanut M&Ms. And I like- Those are the perfect high food. I, I ate too many of them, and I thought I could taste the chemicals in the, like, the dye. Like, I was sitting there and I was like, yeah, these. They're starting to taste, like, paint after a while. Just closing your eyes and being able to tell what color they are. Like, putting one in your mouth and then spitting it to your hand and being like, yep, it's brown. Yes, you just chew it.

It's crazy how stale the peanuts are in peanut M&M's. No, they're not. Stale. They're delicious. They're delicious. Oh, no, they're so good because, I mean, they're covered in, like, a bunch of preserved. They're perfectly preserved by chocolate. What are you fucking talking about?

They just grow like that. They grow them. they put a seed into the middle of the M&M and the single peanut grows. Yeah, it grows out. Yeah. Dude, they, they only recently started removing the shells from the peanut M&Ms.

They used to have shells inside. Yeah. How about this? Candy, chocolate, shell, nut. How about a pistachio M&M? That would never work. You bite into it, fucking, you eat all the chocolate layer,

you let the chocolate melt in your mouth, and then you crack open a delicious pistachio. There should be more foods that you have to eat. eat, take out of your mouth, like manipulate in some way, and then put back in. That should be more of a... Meatball M&M. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, a little mini, miniature, kind of like IKEA-style meatball with gravy and then the chocolate. I want an egg yolk in there, dude. I want a hard-boiled egg yolk in the middle of my own. Oh, that'd be pretty good. Nice, a nice chalky texture. That would just make you appreciate the chocolate even more. And this is the smell that fills the room when you bite into one. Oh, it's just gorgeous.

It's just an absolutely gorgeous smell. The ultimate stoner. snack. Yeah, dude, protein M&Ms with egg yolk inside. We can get a couple of people on that. It's a pretty good idea. I'm going to get my guys on that, my M&M guys. I know a couple people who work at the M&M factory.

Yeah, which one, M or M? I know Marshall. I don't know Mathers. Yeah, yeah. I know the orange M&M. Yeah, that guy. Jesus Christ. What about him?

I mean You can't even hang out with him What's this problem? You can't even hang out with him Without him freaking the fuck out What does that mean? Have you met him? No, but I assume

You're talking about a real guy right now So what does it mean he freaks out Every time he knows him What does that mean he freaks out? God, that guy, I mean He's so nervous He's nervous? All the time

What does he have to be nervous about? He's a millionaire? People are going to eat him I just Yeah, I just People are going to eat him I'm on, I'm on, wait, I'm on chocolate.fandum.com on the orange M&M page, and I'm reading about him. He's actually been through some shit, dude.

Yeah, really? Yeah, listen to this. The Orange M&M was originally a crispy M&M, and he was always used to being, and he always used to be scared of being eaten because he thought he was the tastiest flavor. Orange doesn't really trust anyone, especially when red and yellow licked him in one of his ads. He's always very scared and worried about what will happen to him. He sounds like Drake. yeah he's a lot like drake and that they hang out in the same circles

yeah and he's so he's nervous because he knows he's the best dude yeah someone's coming out people are plotting on his downfall constantly eventually they plotting on me they know i'm crispy were wiped out from the USA and he no longer advertised crispy ms a little later however he met pretzel guy who made things worse for him this guy is i mean this is horrific punished m&M This is a great wiki Recent wiki activity Hot fudge

Cadbury mini eggs Let's just go through Fuck this other list Let's go through the chocolate wiki This won't even come on On this is the 420 special This is the 420 chocolate special These are all

All these pages are made by someone named Luigi Fan 100 Oh wow What's he doing on the chocolate page? Here's a category On the chocolate wiki annoying characteristic

And it's only orange M&M and M&M characters are the only two. He's the annoying orange. Whoa. Yeah, do I have to spell it out for you, you fucking idiot? Hey, fuck off. You fat. Ah, that's it. Yeah, that's right.

No, fuck. You fat. No, it's not. You're huge now. No? I'm on the page for hot chocolate right now. Do you guys want to, you guys want to worry about hot chocolate? Yeah.

Hot chocolate is a warm chocolate drink, as implied by the name. It is a common beverage in the US It is useful to drink it during the winter season The reason is because it gives your body heat You can also drink it during other seasons But it is usually It is mostly usually popular in the winter Jubio went on a date the other day

Like to go get coffee with a girl And he ordered a hot chocolate And we're just talking about how alpha dog that is Yeah To roll up and just be like Yeah Whatever she wants and me I'll have a hot chocolate.

Can I get warm milk, please? Please, can I get an apple juice? And then whatever the lady will have. Damn. Just a cake pop for me. Tradition. Most people drink hot chocolate on cold, snowy days. It is traditional to drink on Christmas, and then in parentheses, Hanukkah. Oh, no.

How many parentheses? Just one fair. But it has it as if Hanukkah is another word for Christmas. It is a traditional drink on Christmas Hanukkah near the fireplace Successfully doing this will help you get warm True Successfully drinking

Did you read the history here? Just open the hot chocolate page Did you read the history? No but I knew this already I thought you know. Let me guess Somebody at the milk factory Some guy brought a lunch chocolate sandwich

And he dropped it in the milk No And it was a hot day It's not what happened It was in Arizona It was in Mumbai I found a list What happened

On the wiki They have a The two headings that they have At the top of the Wiki are chocolate And events Under events It's in the

Three different options are Easter Festivals and movies So I clicked movies, and it's a list of movies with chocolate featured. Number one, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory from 2005. Number two, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory from 1971. Number three, Matilda from 1996. Number four, chocolate from 2000.

And number five, and number five, goo cream egg from 2018. Are we just not going to talk about dumb and dumber? Right? Are we just going to ignore dumb and dumber right now? Dumb and Dumber, Err, the chocolate scene in the bathroom. Whichever one it was. Yeah, Bob Saggett walks in the bathroom. We're just going to pretend it didn't happen?

Is that what we're going to do? We're going to pretend that wasn't a seminal chocolate movie? Oh, here's a page here. Cadbury mini eggs. I know Ron, shout out to Ron. He was mad at us when we were talking about egg combos. We didn't mention. Ron White.

Yeah, Ron White, our close personal friend was mad. We didn't mention Cadbury Mini Eggs as an egg combo. I don't even know what egg combo. We talked about it last episode, apparently. I don't remember that. Bacon and eggs. Yeah. Wavos and rancheros.

Uh-huh. I mean, do I need to go any further? I mean, Egg M&M, we did that. Egg M&M, that's another one. Uh, egg and, uh... Egg and eggs plant sandwich. Egg and egg salad. Uh-huh.

Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, Cadbury... Cadbury mini eggs here. I don't think I've ever had a Cadbury egg. Why would you fucking eat that... Eat a Cadbury egg, dude? Yeah. I'm not, that's like, it's like made for Swedish pedophiles.

That's not a, that's not for like normal American consumption. It's like, I, it's like the sweetest thing in the world. There's barely any chocolate. It's, it's literally, a goo. The fucking, you know, it's good, the kinder eggs, the ones with toys inside. Oh, yeah, the ones that are designed to kill kids. Yeah, those are banned in the U.S. I don't think they are anymore.

They were, at some point. Yeah, they changed, they, well, I think there's like a difference. They changed them now, though. Yeah. The old kinder eggs are, are still banned, I think. think. Yeah, like the ones you can get in Germany. Yeah, the old ones where it was literally just chocolate and then just like a toy that can easily break apart into tiny plastic pieces, like if you bite it. Like, just like the worst design of all time. Yeah. You guys

remember Wonderball? So stupid. I don't know. The Wonderball? Wonder. Is that a kind of ball? It was a ball full of like, I'm wondering where your balls are. It's a chocolate ball full of smarties. Oh. See, that's, that's at least two edible things. The Kinder eggs, they put like a transformer that turns into a razor blade inside of the egg. Exactly, dude. It's so... Yeah, go ahead.

Go fucking wild, dude. Yeah. It's like, you know what they should do? It's like making a fucking, like, Darth Vader helmet that just has a plastic bag inside. Yeah. They should put, like cigarettes, they should have to put photos of kids

with toy tonka trucks stuck in their throne on the front of the Kinder's surprise egg. Yeah, a huge search in general warning on the Kinder Egg. Exactly. That should, if they do that, and it should be legal everywhere. Everybody should be able to get them. This should be free, too.

Oh, damn. Yeah, the Nestle's Wonderball, and it had Buzz Light Ear on the cover. Damn. But now they have Wonderball with prize. Hold up. With prize? They have the Super Mario Wonderball

plus prize, and it's a token of Bowser Jr. Do they still put a cart... Not a cartoon. A toy inside of the... of cereal? No, I don't think so. Do you fucking...

I talked about it before, but they had DVDs and cereal? Yeah, you have talked about that. Yeah. Yeah, you did talk about that. Yeah, I got Muppets Take Manhattan on that. That's, like, I feel like the only reason anybody would ever buy, like, plain checks is because they had, like, a Girls Gone Wild DVD.

Right? These dads are the stories like, and we'll take ten boxes of checks. Plain, yeah, just plain checks. You don't even want the maple syrup? Nope, just a plain normal checks. And we're going to get that. grape nuts box with the Bumpfights DVD

I'll take the grape nuts guys I have there's a okay so the admin of the chocolate wiki

Luigi fan 100 only only admin on this only editor he has a he has a blog that's attached to the chocolate wiki

the most recent post is from September 11th 2015 and the title of the blog post is on this day. I'd like to read it to you.

Hello there, everyone. This is one of the first blog posts not about chocolate. Today marks the day known as 9-11. Today we acknowledge 9-11, a very unfortunate day in history for America. This was the day that the Twin Towers fell, killing 2,97 innocent people

who were taken too soon. Then there's a lot of, statistics, and then the last paragraph, my personal thoughts are with those who are gone and their families, and us at the chocolate wiki, thank you all for your service. Whether you are a paramedic, firefighter, police officer, security guard, or a pilot. I and chocolate wiki, thank you for being brave on that day. Oh my God. That's so nice. I love the chocolate wiki. There's a comment on that blog post from Fudgy Guy. It just says, thanks first responders.

Fuggy guy. Oh, my God. Here's it I'll say. Everything happens for a reason. Yep. What do you mean? I don't know. But if I was a news anchor on September 11, 2001, probably would have said that live on CNN.

Why would you say that? And speaking of these horrible attacks, you know, I'd just like to quell everyone's fears by saying everything happens for a reason. And you need to trust God's plan. That's literally, that's the only, there's two other blog posts, and they're both just like, hi, everybody, welcome to the wiki. That's the only, it seems like zero of these are about chocolate. Yeah. God damn, dude. Crackle.

Here's, okay, I'm in the article for crackle. So, let me, let me just read this first paragraph for you. The streaming service? No, no, not the streaming service. This guy's not a comedians and cars fan? Mm-mm. Comedians and cars getting chocolate. I'd love to see that shit.

Wow. Oh, dude. I want to get to see them get strung out. Can we maybe make that happen? Yeah, I would love to make that happen. Wait, this is, wait, my plan to get Patrick Fatt again. Hey, Pat, can you come back for another episode of, the fans just love you on comedians and cars getting chocolate?

Could you come back? Today we're going to the Lint Factory. Mmm. What was that? All right, you have been uninvited. That was my chocolate sound. Oh, don't have a chocolate sound. Okay, so the crackle

Crackle contains crisp rice and is similar to the competing crunch bar made by Nestle. Crackle originally sold as an individual candy bar product and now is only available in one of the four varieties of Hershey's miniatures. WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW also had almond in its formula.

Peanuts were then added in 1939, but both almonds and peanuts were removed in 1941. Now I'm on the community page for the chocolate wiki, which is, I guess, like, kind of like a forum a little bit. Yeah, chocolate forum. And it's very nice. People say, wow, I just found out this wiki exists, and I have to say, wow, I'm literally obsessed with chocolate,

so I'm so glad I found this. Somebody else posted a post titled, Chocolate, Not Chocolate, where they're holding a piece of chocolate and then there's another picture of them holding a rock. Damn. Don't make those up. I love this page.

I love this wiki. It's so nice. Hi, I'm new to the new and I'm definitely a chocolate lover 24-7. I love milk chocolate, semi-sweet chocolate, white chocolate and dark chocolate. Okay, my most favorite chocolate candies are Hershey's chocolate bars, lint dove chocolate. M and M's, but they wrote M-M-M-M-D-M-M-M-D-M's. Like they wrote M-And-And is one word. Mand-M.

Roto Ferreiro. Gilardi chocolate. Nestle Crunch, Butterfingers, Kit Kat, and last but not least, York peppermint patties. Ooh, I felt like a York peppermint paddy the other day. Did I tell you about this? So you brush your teeth for the first time? No. Oh, come on.

No, I covered myself in Tiger Balm. I was really sore. I was going skating, and I was really sore, and I, like, forgot how much it spreads. I put it on my lower back and, like, my thighs. Uh-huh. And I, like, skated to the train, so I started sweating, and, like, it, like, it, like, like moved to my asshole and I was just sitting on the train

just like squirming because I just had tiger bomb all over my asshole I don't lie to me I want you in my apartment squirming don't tonight yeah I'm gonna bring here's a

tonight bring the tiger bomb out on you this is a bad dude all right I'm done with that I'm trying to tell you about you boy Roy 1-2-3 coast dude I'm gonna get all up in your peppermint patty

don't I'm gonna put my mint in your chocolate hole I'm going to suck your dick with ice. There's one more post from the community page. It's just a, a.o, chocolate fandom check. So anyways, anywhere been to Hershey's World? A.O. Chocolate. Here's a comment from your boy, Roy, one, two, three.

It says, D's nuts. Come on. Come on, boy, Roy. Come on, Roy. What the fuck. I will say, Patrick, you fell for that one so hard. You literally. said it out loud.

You did say D's nuts out loud. Well, I got you. You did not get me. Yeah. You were the one that was got him. You got him. No, I'm going to got him you right now. You're not going to get me.

Hey, have you heard of both of these nuts? Both of what? This ligma. Oh. Do you guys know Joe Bofa? What? Have you read that New York Times article the ligma stigma? Have you seen that?

No. Have you read that? No. No? Do you even know what it is? It's about licking my ass And my balls And fucking is sucking me

Fucking idiot Fat, no Fuck Can't get No Have you guys Have you guys heard of Jomamas dees

Bofovs? Uh Yeah I actually Not much What's Up Dog With Yeah

Ha Ha! up my asshole, fuck me, suck me, ligma, both of my Joe Mama, do these nuts? Have you guys heard of both of these Joe's, those, have you heard of both of my nuts?

Have you seen my two nuts? Have you seen both of my nuts? Have you seen both of my nuts? Have you seen both those Joe's for be, Jeebers? Oh, you're not getting me. You're not getting me.

You're like, it's just on the ground. Oh, no, I'm not, listen. I know. what's happening here, and I am not gonna bite. You're not getting me again. Don't follow me, no,

me. Da-da. Yeah. When Ron Paul had his stroke, didn't his, like, webcam also glitch? I'm just remembering that. Dude, I forgot about that video. You know he has a cheapest internet in the world.

I wanted to my fucking work bathroom to watch that video. He had a jack off. He's sick of. Oh, man. You had to stroke you his stroke. Oh my God. You know, speaking of Ron Paul, dude, this guy, this kid loves weed.

Yeah? Yeah, probably why he fucking started stroking out on live television. Ron Paul loves smoking. Yeah, oh, I know that boy was too high. Oh, my God. He was on that homegrown sticky icky. It's funny to talk about that, like, months after it happened. He had that strokey-okey.

Ooh. He had that smoky stroky stroky. That's something that should come back into the public consciousness. That was a great video. Yeah, things go out too quick. I mean, something's stroke was crazy. Way too slow, but yeah.

Ron Paul Stroke, that needs... Like, Crunk. Crunk should be back. That means staying power like Carol Baskin. Yeah. Crunk should totally be back. Because I'm crunk. I feel like you guys might be too.

Dude, once punk started going crunk... That ruined it, dude. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they went, they went crunk like 15 times. I just... Yeah, you could say that, yeah. Yeah.

I just want to be... I just want Crunk back, okay? Because Crunk was a good drug-free expression outlet for, you know, kids like me. Yeah. Kids, you have a big, fat-ass, skinny-ass jeans, big hat, huge hoodie. Have you guys, I'm just, I'm clicking random page a bunch on this wiki. Have you guys heard of the candy maltisers? Yeah, I have.

Sounds like a slur, doesn't it? You may be, you. may be skinny on the outside but tell you what I crack you open you got a caramel core big guy wait guys wait what the fuck hold on I'm linking you this page okay

this is the page for white chocolate maltisers I want you to look at the bottom picture here I'll post a screenshot of this picture with the caption with the episode because the caption for this picture is giant white maltisers along with the giant milk ones and giant dark ones with the giant woman

What the fuck is it? The file name is Malteseer's Giantess Remix. There's a tiny guy photoshopped on her hand. Who is this woman? Somebody on the chocolate wiki has a giantess fetish, dude. I don't think it goes that deep. Look at, there's a fucking tiny guy. Well, that's just to show how big they are.

The file name is Giantess dash remix.jp.g. I don't like this at all. I hate when a woman is taller than me. I was in Walgreens the other day, pissed off. I was like, come on. How are you 5'6 right now? Their only contribution, I'm looking at their user page, their only contribution is to Malteseers.

No, they edited other stuff. I'm looking at it. What? They edited Hot Fudge, Cad. Oh, no, wait, that's recent Wiki activity. Uh-huh. I just took off my pants because I have to pee so bad. Can I see?

What? Yeah, sure. Lower the cat. Oh, okay. You thought I was faking it? Yeah. Come on, dude. Who do you think I am?

I have to pee so bad. I have like, it's like Thanksgiving dinner. You can go pee, dude. There's still, there's still 15 minutes left. And then can we talk about marijuana again? Yeah, sure. Okay. We're talking about the food you eat.

We're talking about candy. Yeah. Three edits. Oh, yeah, they did Malteseers and white chocolate Malteseers. Yeah, they, Oh, yeah, the caption on the Malteseers page, it's the same picture, but the caption this time is, a giantist version of a woman eating Maltisers, a giant woman was eating her giant Maltisers, along with giant white ones and giant dark ones. What the fuck is that?

It's fucking, what? Ah, that's so, because it's just like a picture of somebody's, like, friend that they photoshopped. Yeah. Wow. Are these, wait, are these pictures all on the, huh? Where, how can I see what page? There's a picture of, of Thanos on this wiki somewhere, but I can't figure out how to see what page it's on. There's a GIF of, uh, some, I think it's a final fight character.

I don't know. Yeah, see, like, what's, what is, why? There's a Pepe Tomato. Yeah, there's a Dr. Phil, Eminem. Well, that makes sense. That makes at least some sense. Yeah. Dude, this wiki's sick.

This is the coolest wiki I ever found. I'm going to become a regular contributor. Oh, you should. Jost. I found a thing called Jose Lewis. Page called Jose Lewis, which is a... Diet soda fan likes to post pictures

of themselves holding the candies. Hershey's Air Del. Oh, have you ever had that? Hershey's Air Delight? No, I don't know what that is. Yeah, it was like in 2010 they had this candy, yeah, it's a discontinued one, but it was just they put a bunch of air into the chocolate, into the candy bars. So is it kind of like a crunch bar-ish?

It's like, it's like, it's not crispy at all. It was just like airy chocolate. Like, it was light like air when chewed on, is what it says. Hey, you want to go for a ride on my bicycle pump? What? Do you want to go for a ride on my bicycle? Pump? What are you talking about?

Do you want to go on a bike ride? Bike pump ride. What are you saying? What the fuck are you saying? Do you want to sit on my bicycle pump and I can blow you up like a balloon? Hey, hey, hey, Patrick. Did you hit your head in the bathroom?

Hey, Patrick, I want to, hey Patrick, can I blow you up like a balloon? What do you guys? What the fuck is happening right now? Patrick, can I blow you up like a balloon? So you're baking. No, you can't blow me up like a balloon. I didn't say whatever. Okay, you know you didn't.

I'm going to handcuff you with bacon and make you eat yourself out. Or eat your way out. Oh, come on. Yeah, what the fuck is wrong about you? Come on, man. Are you serious, Patrick? You're saying that. I didn't say that.

Why did you say that? You're crazy and fat. No, I'm not. Fuck, you're right. Ah! All right. We have to talk about weed a little bit here, right? Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, we did for 20 minutes. Yeah, but I handpicked these lists, much like a nugget of weed would be handpicked by a slave. The list that you picked are the ones that I had looked at and thought weren't good enough. What did you just say? But I'm looking at them right now. What do you mean? Hand...

What the fuck was that? Marijuana is made by slaves. That's why it's an immoral industry. You don't know about this? Handpicked by slave. Ed, you know, that's fascinating because smoking marijuana is one of the only ways that you can emancipate yourself from mental slavery. How you think it sounded in your head.

It sounded bad? Yeah. There are slaves make your shoes, man. You got to stop. Stop saying slaves. What? Swagg. Okay.

Brave. Happy fellows. Braves. How about now? That's better. They're brave. All right. Obviously, you have some slave in your family that you haven't disclosed.

And you don't want to talk about it. But, okay, we'll move on and we'll talk about weed. Are you happy now? Yeah. Okay. Which one are we doing here? We should do top ten things marijuana can help you with. Okay.

Right? You're going to do it fast. All right. What time is it? Oh, shit. Oh, my God. Fuck, dude. Hey, you know how it is when you're high, dude.

You just fucking time flies when you're... Time highs when you're flying high. Yeah, dude. Last night I was smoking weed and lying down in bed. Next thing you know, I was asleep and it was a morning and I was awake. That's like, you're a damn time traveler. Yeah. True.

It's cool. When you smoke weed right before you go to bed, it helps you time travel to when you wake up in the night in here an airplane and think that your house is being bombed and you're about to die. Yep. And sometimes you just time travel through the first Avengers movie, too. Yeah. You just fucking don't remember a single scene. Yeah.

Yep, saw it in theaters. Who knows, man. Brought a jar of peanut butter with me. I can't time traveling through this bag of pretzels to... That's right. My destination is constipation. That's right. It's a little rhyme I just came up with.

Damn. That's a good rhyme. Thanks. You guys can use it, too, if you want. I might use that. Okay. You want to start the... Constipation.

Slave emancipation. No, I can't bring slaves up again. Pat will get sad. Come on, man. You've been talking about them too much. Who's them, huh? Slaves. He said it.

He said slaves. Book them, boys. Yep. Now you have to get fat, or else we'll send that clip to your employers. Yeah, Pat, if you hate slaves so much, just say... No hates, come on. I mean, it sounds like you kind of do.

It's not true. Number one, school. You know, in my experience, this is a lie. Yeah. It does not help you with school. I tried to smoke weed before school once. I got like the smallest amount of weed I could for like five bucks from somebody. Yeah.

And then I smoked it the night before and then tried to like smoke like the resin out of, like, the, like, the bubbler I made out of a two-liter soda bottle. Uh-huh. And I just went to school, like, kind of high. I will say, I'm remembering a time that I actually, I smoked weed in high school, and actually, it helped me a lot. But I didn't help me at all, because I was still on Adderall. But I did, this might be important, I did go to Freddie Wong's video game high school.

So that might have been why it helped me so much. But I felt like, I mean, it was like, it was like nothing, dude. I guess that makes sense. Yeah. Dude, when I smoked weed in high school, it helped me so much with Pokemon Go. But do people still play Pokemon Go? People do. I'm sure they do.

That's, dude, that's one thing I miss about. I haven't been taking, like, public transportation because I don't got to fucking work anymore, baby. But, yeah. All you guys who are listening, you're going to have to work forever. I hate you. You're almost like, but just like ride it right. riding the bus and just like seeing the one person on the bus who's like playing Pokemon Go while riding and just be like, oh man, that's the lamest person in the world right now.

Dude, I played fucking 2020 sitting on the bus. I played Pokemon Go until like 2018. Playing Pokemon Go on 2020 on the bus at like 7 a.m. Yeah. Like, oh, man. I probably, I mean, I have a few. I have a few good Pokemon. I have a few thousand dollars worth of Pokemon on Pokemon Go.

It's true. Yeah, I have a, I was the, uh, I have a squirrel. I have like a gold star and the, uh, on a few places in Boston. Really? Gold star gym leader or some fucking, I don't remember what it's called. Do you find yourself easily motivated by gold stars? Yes. Why?

Makes sense. No, no reason. Not at all. Uh, I did go to Montessori school. Number two, cancer. I mean, is this really, plenty of, this is something. It doesn't, I don't think it helps you. It causes cancer.

Are we joking? Are we fucking? and making this up? Cancer? You think weed helps cancer? Absolutely. It doesn't. Where you live an upside-down world?

Yeah, this is a joke. This is a joke entry. I'm not even, I don't even want to, you know, I don't want to give this the time of day. Yeah. Absolutely. Insomnia? True. True.

That one, yeah. Yeah, yeah, because it shuts down your, your thinking brain. Exactly. Make you, you, tell you a lot of. You say, you lie down and you start thinking, damn, post offices really be crazy and your brain is so embarrassed that it just instantly shuts down

and you fall asleep. Yeah, sitting there trying to understand a stamp and you just fucking fall asleep. Your brain just shuts down, just fucking bricks right there. Stamps are a kind of money? What? Whoa.

Just fall asleep. I had to mail something the other day and I was like, I honestly had that thought. I was like, what is it? This is like a currency that just... Post offices are nuts. They're like Wild West shit. Yeah.

It's so weird. Dude, that post office in Brighton. You been to that one? If only there was a fucking way that didn't have to go stand in line at the post office. Oh. If only there was some kind of fucking, yeah, like stamps. Like every single time I need stamps. It's just pretty much every day.

I have to walk my ass 50 miles down the street to go to the post office. I have to stand in line. It takes two or three hours. God. Only if there was some kind of... Like a website? Dot com almost. Yeah.

And only if there was a coffee that made me shit my pants. Uh-huh. If only there was a guy who could play guitar. Yeah, and he has two cats, yeah. He loves those cats. Oh, well, guess that guy doesn't exist. The perfect man. If he does, he's probably going to die soon.

Yeah. He's probably going to kill himself pretty soon. Number four, anxiety and depression. In my experience, he greatly magnifies these two things. It gave me a depression, dude. I was the most normal guy of all time until I started smoking weed. The media's representation of marijuana does not handle the paranoia at all. They're in Snoop Dog's pocket, dude.

We fucking turned me from like a new balance Pokemon nerd to Travis Bickle, straight up. They won't tell you about that in Bob Marley. Dude, I started smoking weed immediately started losing my hair. Decided a mullet was the way to go. I did. I had the same path, brother. Dude, I was so high. I was like, you know what?

Fix is balding? A mullet. I had the same. I had a mullet for like a year. It's so funny that, yeah, you smoke weed and you're like, damn, I should start wearing a size bigger of shirts and grow my hair out. Yeah, that'll be sick, dude. Oh, my God.

Dude, my pants got huge. Like, if you introduced weed to an alien civilization that was, like, completely different from humans, they would still start, like, growing their hair out and wearing, like, big tie-dye shirts and shit. Like, that's just what the drug does. We could be. like a chemical weapon. Yeah.

I think it's possible that weed was dropped on us by the USSR, China, some odd years ago, just to destroy us. The weed that they're selling at dispensaries now, you don't think, like, the CIA is, like, meddling with it at all? No, they're too busy fucking protecting us from Islamic terrorist attacks. You know what, you're right. I was thinking about that, and then I said it, and I was like, man, I sound like a fucking fool right now. That's right, yeah. Uh-huh. Come on, are you an idiot, dude?

I guess I am in that moment. There are CIA agents out there right now taking bullets for you, and you're accusing them of having anything to do with the drug trade? Well, they're taking bullets from me, so I don't... You need to stop fucking reading that People's History of the United States book. Oh, man. Stop reading it and rereading it and re-reading it. It's not good for you. You can get high on Howard Zinn. I got to stop. I mean, Mark Fisher, you got to get out of my head. True. There you go. He's a ghost of my life.

life. Exactly. That's a damn truth. Number five, weight loss. No. Let, you know, no. What are you talking about? No.

No. There's actually, you know, I'm looking this up, and there's actually no way to lose weight. Yeah. It's actually impossible. There's only way to gain weight. And it says that doctors recommend that you should gain weight. Yeah. It says it, oh my God, it says under 300 pounds is horribly underweight.

What? Yeah. Isn't that fucked up? I mean, guys, I guess we all got a, you know, I'm busy the next couple weeks, but maybe pat you get like a head store we can do like a gaining competition you know okay that sounds good pounds first that might be a good idea here i'm going to send you five cases of olive oil and if you can just finish just replace water there's water in olive oil so you should be good right yeah so anytime you would reach for a water bottle or a lemonade maybe drink an olive oil instead

can i still can i just like combine the olive oil and the lemonade it kind of needs to be pure or else you're not going to get the kind of uh fat content well what about the sugar what about sugar in the lemonade, wouldn't that help me gain? You can add a packet of limit, like a crystal light to the olive oil. Yeah, yeah. And it won't float on top of the olive oil.

No, it mixes right in. Yeah? Yeah, completely dissolves. Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay. So that might be a good, good move for you. Uh, number six. Headaches. Headaches. Not true. Tell you what, get a headache. Find your

fucking, find your child or your wife or your childwife smoking weed. That'll give a headache. Whoa. Hey now. Yeah. It will. Hey now. Number seven. I've had plenty headaches. Nope. Um, no. That's the opposite. Diabetes. What are you fucking talking about? You fucking, you fucking killing a bag of yogurt pretzels after smoking weed. That'll give you diabetes. Here's a... They got, they got creativity and they got that the bill, the Bill Hicks quote, the one from the tool song. And the thing about that is like, the creativity thing is like

the weed doesn't make you creative but they used to think it did because the weed that they're smoking back in the fucking 70s or whatever is just the same, it has the same effect as if you sit down and just imagine something like it's just true yeah it's just like made of dirt yeah exactly

yeah it's just nothing dude yeah it's like you get higher off the fluoride in your water than they got off of fucking weed in the 70s exactly and it's crazy how many things were created on 70s weed too. Yeah, I know, dude. Jimmy Hendricks invented purple. They were just weird.

Like, they were just guys who liked to think. Yeah, dude. They were just like to make stuff up. Well, that's the thing. Well, that's the thing. These guys were hailed as geniuses. That's the thing about it, though. They would write all these songs that were just euphemisms for weed, and it's just like about like a wizard or something. Yeah, they did chocolate rain. Yeah.

One of the biggest drug addict anthems in the world. It's fucking horrific. No, like Sweetleaf by Black Sabbath? Yeah. It even rhymes. Wheatleaf. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Bet you never thought about that, dude. Wow. Ozzy Osbourne, that's a dark person. Mm-hmm. He ate a bat. That guy got the Munchy's so bad. He ate a fucking bat.

Yeah. Is this where the damn coronavirus came from? Is this guy Ozzy Osborne? Hey, now. Come on. Hey, how about you lay off the bats for a couple years? Give us some chance to recover. Ozzy?

How much you fucking tell your daughter to shut up too while you're at it? Yeah, Kelly. Fucking stupid bitch. Remember that clip of her on the view? And hey, can you tell your

brother Norman to take off that green costume and stop throwing fireballs everywhere? Yeah, it's a very fair point, dude. Oh my God, I'm so sick of his, Ozzie's brother Norman. It's so true. I'd be mad, too.

By the way, I'd be mad too if the media started calling me the green goblin after I fucking spent millions of dollars building this cool Iron Man suit. Just call me Iron Man, dude. Call me the green iron. Yeah, iron green man.

Green was just the cheapest color of metal. Mr. Green! Yeah, why do I... I mean, green doesn't even have to factor... You don't call Spider-Man red spider. No. Stupid. You don't call Captain America red, white, and blue.

Exactly. Keep going. Yeah. You don't call... You don't call the Hulk... You don't call the Hulk... You don't call the Hulk... No, I don't mind that's...

That makes perfect sense, actually. You don't call the white tie. Ah, fuck. Yeah, you don't call Black Man's a... You don't call the green air, no. Greenland? No. Oh, all right.

Well, Red Hulk. Red Hulk? No. Yeah, okay. Don't call Reverse flash, yellow flash. True. That's a good one. We finally got another one.

Yeah, you don't call Batman. Well... Black Man. You're right. They don't call them that. That's a very good point. All right. Just stay off the pot.

Please don't smoke weed. Don't smoke weed. Please. I know that you're excited because it's your, you're, it's, and I know, you stoners, you're going to be smoking, you're going to be, you know, we're recording this today on 420, but I know you're going to be smoking tomorrow because you love to be late. Yep. That's right. I know that's right.

I also like to specify that some of you. What's today? A stoner probably forgot that yesterday was 420. Exactly. And I'd like to, I'd like to point out that there is such a thing in, in rehabilitation centers is a lost cause. And I think a lot of you might be that. So please, just do yourself a favor.

Smoke yourself to death if you have to. Just fucking, I don't want to deal with you anymore. You are an absolute leech on the public health care system. And you should be just demolished. Just turned into gravel. All right, one live show ticket left up there. Thanks, everybody. Oh, wait, Thursday.

I'm gonna be on Yeba Still. Oh, yeah, go listen to that. Yeah. Bye. Bye. Thank you.