Podcast About List - Ep. 146 - Sexy Episode

Episode Date: May 19, 2021

ooooohhhh i saw a sexy mirage www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist

You're listening to Israel's number one podcast. Podcasts to the ball list. You're really the crap monster. Record. Oh my God. Record. What? Fuck.

What? She's just not doing well, man. Yeah, what's wrong? I'm a change, man. I'm different. You're different now? I crave blood. Is that true?

You don't know. Cray blood. I have killed. You have not killed. I texted you guys last night I'd have fucking killed, man. You did not text this last night that you killed. You didn't say anything.

I did, I did text you that I killed. I killed two baby mice. Oh, yeah. Do you understand what that does? See, you don't even care. You drowned them. That's bloodless. You haven't not talked about this all day.

Because it's hurting me. I'm fucking hurt. Dude, I'm upset and I'm hurt. It does not feel good to have killed, man. I'm afraid I might do it again. I don't think you're that broken up about it because after, because 11 minutes after you texted us that you killed, you texted us a prank to play on our girlfriends. Oh, that was pretty funny, though, a screenshot of the cracked phone. Of a bullet hole?

Yeah, dude, have you ever heard of somebody coping with trauma? What's wrong with you, dude? I thought it was funny. The way I just realized pranking my friends means that I had trauma, I. In the darkness of having murdered two innocent children. Yes, it reminds. I needed a laugh, dude. And so what's funnier than handing your girlfriend a phone with a photo of a cracked screen on it saying,

Bay, I broke my damn phone. Almost nothing. I need $300 right now to buy a new one. I'm so sad. Don't touch the screen. Don't touch the screen. Don't touch it. It'll break it more.

It'll break it more. And don't look in the bucket in the bedroom either. Dude, it was so. fuck it was like three in the morning i was asleep janet goes the mice that i had a problem with last summer they're fucking back i don't know if it's same mice but they're it could be i guess it could be but janet was like the mice are in the kitchen i was like fuck dude i don't want to deal with this i thought i was going to have to scare them away i walk in there we had a mouse trap under the sink i didn't put it there it's one of those stick traps the glue ones but they're like well they say

they're humane but then they're humane but you got to get the mice off with olive oil Well, so I didn't know any of this, because the directions say that if you don't kill the mouse, it'll eat its own hands to get off of it. So I was like, that's fucked up, dude. I got to put these mice out of their misery. So then I dunked them in a bowl full of oil, and I was like, they'll probably just die instantly, just fucking, just, it'll be so easy. I'll feel fine about this. Yeah, drowning, of course. Both of them just fought, like, for their lives, dude.

They were, like, squeaking. Like, I think the most inhumane way you can kill something. The box for the... I mean, these guys may have a vested interest in killing mice now that I realize this. I think I should trust the trap that, like, that causes mice to eat their own flesh. I think that they know what's most humane. But I was like, I'm trying to do this the most humane way possible. It ended up fucking it up so bad because the mice, one of them just died instantly.

One of them just gay, he was just like, she just took a big breath of the oil. The other one had like a fucking... He had something on his DVR he had to get back to because he was fucking trying to get back out of that thing. He was stuck on the trap. And then drowned, and I thought you meant you like... Okay. I put his head under the water of my hands.

Yeah, I thought you took the... Like a river? And just put it under the sink. And just let the water run. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah. Well, it said oil is the most, like, the most, like, humane way to do it

because they drown faster. One of them just refused to drown. and then I started freaking out and so I just opened the window and I tossed it out of the window and then I looked at my hands I was like dude what am I why was at my instinct was to fucking throw it

30 feet dude that was that was my school Phelps he held his breath for so long dude he was the Olympic swimmer dude I felt so evil I was up for like two more hours just like looking for funny funny pictures of cracked screens

to deal with my trauma The only thing that would help You Google You googled my shattered mind And that was what came up And you thought that was actually kind of funny Yeah I have a good idea for a prank on a girl right now Yeah you

Well yeah you originally pulled that that like cracked bullet bullet hole on glass image and you held it up to your forehead And you said this is what I want you to do to be right now Make it happen. Crack my glass. She said, wait, is your phone broken? Oh, shit, damn. That's a funny action.

That's a damn. That's actually the funny. I forgot about those two things, those living things that I murdered 10 minutes ago. But yeah, I'm a murderer. I think I might become kind of an evil blood, blood craver. Again?

No, but this is in a different kind of more real way. I was kind of faking it last time. This one I've actually killed. Yeah, I know you guys could. But now I've actually done a dastardly deed. And I feel really bad about it And I took all the other mouse traps up Because I was like

I don't I rather just live with mice And I have to fucking drown anything else As long as I live I mean If you don't see them I guess it's fine Like if I also like I don't give a fuck about a mouse

What's he gonna he steals one of my chips I never finish a whole bag of chips You have to you have to Get some of those mouse traps that they do on YouTube Where they're just like scaled down saw traps and they're not even allowed to show the footage. No, you got to get rid of these mice

because when Cameron and I come over, if they're in the chips, we're going to get mad. I mean, that's dinner time for me. Right. Yeah, well, what I need is, I need somebody like a Patrick to live in to my house like a cat and hunt the mice and catch them in your mouth and drop them at my feet.

You think instinctively I have to guard chips, is what you're saying? Yeah, pretty much. Okay. Yeah. Or something, you know, it doesn't have to be chips. You know, I know you're on this weight loss journey. Like, maybe it's,

Maybe the mice are going for the water. Well, I feel like I've gained a little bit of weight back. It's chips again. Probably a couple pounds. I mean, I've been inside, so, like, what is it, the past two weeks? Oh, yeah, than me. Yeah. Oh, yeah, no skating.

Yeah, no exercise at all. Damn, that's fucked. I know. I'm so mad, dude. I'm so mad because, like, we go to Boston, like, next week, right? And I had this whole thing planned where I was going to go to all the old places i used to go like all my old spots and now it's all fucking wrecked because i wanted damn me because i was like oh i'll try oh i i want to do something i haven't done since i was

i haven't landed since i was 17 you're like robin's parents from batman every single day i was in new york in the morning i was like hey pat do you want to go buy a cane or a crutch so that you can get a little better or maybe help you out and every day he was like no no and then he walked for it how how did just go get one i would have bought one for you Such an opportunity there. Like, how many times in your life do you have the opportunity to use a cane? Exactly. Dude, if I hurt my knee, the first fucking thing I would do, I would order crutches on Amazon.

I don't care how little of an injury it is. I'm not going to have to happen. I don't want to look like I'm fucking, like, I don't know, like, milky light to get better. Sit around waiting for me to make a bad grandpa sequel. It seems so fucking lame. It seems so fucking lame for me. Like, I got, like, a skateboarding injury at 23. I don't want to, like, walk around with a,

fucking came because of it. Just lie. Just lie. No. Say you got shot in the leg. I don't want to lie about my life. Say a hawk. You're going to have a permanent fucking like like leg the shape of a goat's leg because you refuse to get a

crutch. Say a woodpecker thought your leg because it's so strong. A crutch is also one of the coolest, it's not lame, it's very cool. It's literally on the poster for jackass. They wouldn't have put it on there. It's literally a skater thing. I'm like so nervous that Now you're saying that about, like, my leg being, looking like a goat's leg.

I'm so nervous that, because that could fucking happen to me. You could just never, yeah, I could never skateboard again. And then I just want to fucking kill myself. Like, I don't, like, like, what the fuck? If you couldn't skateboard, you're done for? Is that what you're saying? Yes. Really?

It's over? Mm-hmm. You don't think you could do, like, wheelchair skateboarding? No. They have to have that, right? I am not at Nitro Circus level. I think they do that in Nitro Circus, actually. They do.

They throw a wheelchair guy off the MegaRamp. What do you mean by a wheelchair guy? The guy in a wheelchair. Oh, okay. All right, you cleared that up. Pretty well. Yeah. I just don't like how fast that came off your tongue.

What? Oh, you thought. You know, wheelchair people. Like, yeah, okay. A wheelchair guy who was in a wheelchair. Yeah. I don't know. I think you...

Sometimes they're not. That's what Patrick's trying to say. Also, you could ride it on your hands like a chimpanzee. True. I don't know. I already had, like, a fucked up ankle from high school. and you could skate after that right yeah i could skate after that but like and i saw video that that one was fucked up yeah i did bad i did the same thing i did the same thing to my knee

well knee's a probably a worse place to do it yeah yeah yeah i mean i took i mean i've taken my legs for granted i don't want to ever like like i'm like full like yeah i'm the same way about i'm the same way about my heart and brain yeah yeah i'm the same way about my heart and brain yeah Yeah, I like, I, this whole thing, this whole thing has been just an epiphany. If I injure my right hand, dude, I'm killing myself into it. I don't care. If I fucking touch a tea kettle when it's hot, it's over for me, bro. Damn.

You don't have, you know how somebody who could do it for you? No, dude, no stepmom. Dad never remarried. Pretty fucked up. He never, he never thought of me once. when he was deciding what to do the rest of his life Oh, maybe Caleb was a hot-ass fucking step-mom You can try to fuck all the time

I hate that so much My dad is so selfish What, you hate step-moms? I hate that that became like a Like the algorithm People so many people look that up That the algorithm only shows like stepmom stuff It's based on what you look at

It's not Yeah, yeah it is It is too Private browsing does not keep your history Yes, it does. So you admit to using private browsing. Damn it, I fucking walked in. I fucking walked into that.

What are you looking at in that private browsing? Perhaps step-mom? When I go to porn hub. When I go to porn hub.com, it just shows me like how to make a million dollars in a day, how to hustle harder. Yeah, it's mostly cooking videos for me. Yeah, I don't know what you're seeing on there. Yeah, it's all based on the algorithms. You're telling me you've seen a bunch of stepmom crap where she's got her thing out.

Yeah, step crap. She wants crap on her face. She's stuck in the stepmom. She's eating crap. Yeah, stepmom got stuck in the toilet. She has to eat her way out. Yeah, I think you do see that. Stepmom stuck in the oven.

Yeah. Also, what are you doing so deep? What recipe calls for putting something at the back of the oven? What is that next to your foot? How fat is my damn stepmom? She gets stuck in the damn oven. What's that next to your foot? Is that the bell jar?

What the hell? Were you reading in the oven? What the fuck you doing in there? God damn. stepmom's on some weirdo shit i'll tell you that much because they don't have jobs for the most part they go stir crazy at home they're like maybe i'll fucking get myself stuck on a on nothing yeah hey i'm stuck in the middle of the air stepson i think you have to fuck me out of this yeah you walk into the living room and your stepmom just like exorcist floating in the air just convulsing i've been

i've been cursed by a dark mage to be stuck i'm in stasis yeah i mean i mean wall. There's probably been like an academic paper written about it, but it's just so fucked up that that has become like... Yeah, there's probably like an academic paper. Like I wouldn't like have tried to read it already or like, no, like... It's not like weirdly the first result that comes up when you

search stepmom porn and maybe I clicked on it thinking it was a video. Yeah. And I do not know any of the things that are linked in the bibliography. No. No. God damn it. I keep walking into it. I'm stepping on rakes today. I'm stepping on your stepmom. I'm such a fucking idiot.

She likes it. I got to stop. I got to stop stepping my rakes. My knee's broken. What? I fucking hate myself. It's not a good day for me. I'm sorry, buddy.

You suck your thumb? You prick yourself? No, I have just a bunch of dead skin on my thumb. I'm trying to get it out. I don't know. I've been really, I've been honestly very bummed out that I have not been able to skate. A very short guy in a light blue shirt just walked over. in this alley behind my building

he walked over towards my window the whole time looking directly up at the sky. He walked over he was sitting right at the side of my window still looking up. He started clapping above his head and then he turned around and he left. Short guy looking at the sky, buddy, I think you just had

a run in with Chicken Little. That was so weird. He might have something to say. Is he still there? No, I was trying to. I can't. can't see the sky from... Maybe he's getting his keys from the person who lives above you. Maybe, but why would he walk around

the corner already looking upwards? To see if they're there with the keys? No, he wasn't looking... He was looking up at the sky. You won't accept any answer about this, because you're too baffled. I'm too baffled. Stepmom got stuck in the window on the third floor, dude. She said, no, you're going to have to come around

the rear. He's like, okay, I see what this crap is. You're trying to make me smell your... But, dude, imagine, there's definitely, here's a, here's a free idea for one of those people who, like, who writes, like, internet horror, flash fiction that's like, oh, the scariest thing is, like, an infinite beige wallpaper. That's the scariest thing in the world is, you walk into, like, the room, your stepmom is, is stuck in, like, a door or something. You see your ass, and you're like, oh, I need to go talk to, go around to the other room. Other side is also her ass. Damn, dude, psychological horror sucks, dude

Fuck that shit My brain can't be scared I mean, it's so, it's like, I don't know It's, I don't know, it's... YouTube just brainwashed people into thinking that, that, that, people will, like, tell you with a straight face, like, oh, no, the ghosts aren't scary, dude, it's not vampires, it's... Yeah, it's a guy standing still Yeah, it's a, it's a water, a glass of water, you don't know where it came from Yeah. You know, yeah, you know what's scary? It's not, it's not a serial killer who's about to top your head off. It's, it's an idea. Yeah. It's when you think of something, and it's not there.

Fire. I've been thinking about this for a while. They should do a horror movie where the main guy is made out of fire? No, he's not made out of fire. He's just fire. The main guy like the... It's like the blob, but it's just a big fire. So maybe like a building. So it's a guy running away from a fire. That's a whole building. A whole building, there's like a party on the top floor And then like one of the lower floors catches on fire And everyone in the top floor has to figure out how to get down I mean honestly yeah they I mean perfect easy

So the towering inferno fuck you But yeah fuck you No not that's already a thing You wanna fuck your step please OJ is in that movie teens nowadays We would rather watch a movie where the fires in everybody's minds Yeah fuck that crap dude Hereditary what's that movie even about dude

I think that has a step mom in it she's not hot what are you doing man it has a step devil yeah also there is naked people in that movie actually fuck they're so sexy but now they're old dude horror movies should have at least one pair of the boobs from american pie that's pretty crucial uh-huh right they should have a big the shiniest knife the knife it's never been used yeah they should have and they should have waxed knife. A demon, which instead of like speaking in Latin or like backwards or something, it just says fucking shit and like fuck me a bunch.

Well, yeah, because the devil, I mean, curse words, what do you fucking... Exactly. The devil wants you to say curse words. Yeah, what am I fucking 30 years old? You think I'm allowed to hear this crap? People, people think that people, it's so stupid, dude. Those are the scariest demons. And the exorcists and evil dead when they try to kill you and they're also going like,

I'm going to fuck you. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, fuck, fuck, fuck. I can't be hearing that work Yeah, come on, dude I got school in the morning And you're going to make me say this crap What is, what is, uh, Reagan say in the ex-oh,

your mother sucks cocks in hell or something like that? Yeah, pretty funny. She also goes, fuck me. Fuck me. Yeah, the demon said that to me, I'd say, hey, I'm going to wash your mouth that was soap. They should have thought of that when they were doing the exorcism.

Uh-huh. It probably would have worked, right? Yeah, you know what? fucking get some dial with some holy water mixed in. Yeah, I'm going to hit you with the, uh, with the old soap in the soap on a rope in your mouth. Reagan just needed to be grounded. Yeah, that's all they needed to say. Yeah, stop throwing up on the dock.

You're grounded from throwing up and turning your head around. If you throw up on me one more time, young ma'am, you are grounded. Young man? I think I, I think I told you guys before my dad. My dad told me that he watched The Exorcist in theaters with, like, his friend, and his friend got, like, insanely scared and had to run out of the theater in fear. And the scene that he ran out of the theater in fear was when Reagan pees on the ground at the party. That's nasty. That's some nasty crap.

Yeah, it should have been, like, a law drama where they defeat her by outlawing being green. Yeah. Take that up to Congress. Yeah. I mean, honestly, they should have just given her plastic surgery to make her look normal and then just ignore the other stuff. Did you guys, I've talked about my mom and jump scares before, but I thought I like I couldn't still to this, like I've seen the exorcist still to this day, the scariest thing in my head is just that picture of Reagan. Yeah, yeah, it's because it's because, yeah, it's because from the maze game and then just every, yeah, every picture you would like, every time you go on like, I can has cheese. Burger.com, like one in every hundred pictures

would have a jump scare of it and a GIF. See, the Mays game, bubble rat maniac, the car commercial where the car's coming down the mountain, these are all way scarier than something like Get Out, you know? That might be because I'm a white guy. Now they think about it. But it's still,

I don't know, those are like actually scary, you know? I'm not scared to know. I mean, yeah, the scariest thing is when I'm not started the Babaduke. Is when in a movie trailer, the sound effects line up with the song. You know what else is scary in a movie trailer?

So imagine like an 80s like an 80s song slowed down and it's sung by like a choir of like kids It's got pianos Oh fucking creep by radio heads Sung by a choir and kids Yeah but it's sung by the first person that they saw on the street So that they could sign them to a contract Yeah for pretty cheap

Yeah everybody wants to rule the world That's some scary shit, dude Yeah The fat boys Uh The fat boys The fat boys Whiplash

Yeah It's like It's like A very poorly Children It's a choir of kids In like the slow piano They're just going

Whoa Whoa Whoa Oh they did with chubby checker the one that's like it's the only way to live in cars they're doing that twist

yeah dude just like a very slow creepy version of it yeah you can get away with that chopy checker and the fat boys yeah dude

okay shoddy go to a party in 20 years they're going to have this slow down um Axel F crazy frog Yeah. Because that's...

That'll be crazy. This is the crazy frog. Big. Ball, ball, baub. That one will actually be scary. The bing and the bong.

Yeah. That'll actually be a little bit of a scary thing to me. Coming this summer. Did you guys see this song? The crazy frog. The movie. It's just for. crazy.

Oh, fuck. Do you guys see the spiral thing? Not yet. I'm seeing it drive in this weekend. I just saw the trailer for it. Don't spoil nothing about it for me. That guy cannot act. Who, Chris Rock?

Yeah. Really? He's just, like, he's yelling all the time. He looks amazing. He looks young, dude. Yeah, he looks like just as young as he did on SNL. He's got to be, like, in his 50s, right? Oh, he's old as shit.

yeah i guess he's a millionaire he could have been very young on this and i know that's 25 i just ah christ he's four years old he's born on a leap year god shit oh fuck did you guys ever know anyone born on a leap year yeah chris rock is 56 Jesus Christ really yeah that's insane that's nuts good for him that's like when you google how old Seinfeld is he's 280 yeah you're like what the fuck dude dude he's gonna die one day isn't that crazy Seinfeld? Yeah. Jerry Seinfeld is going to die just like the rest of us.

No, he's going to be a fucking... They're going to put him in a... Yeah. You think he's going to be like one of those old comedians that they like, for some reason, are alive forever? Like Dick Van Dyke or like Mel Brooks. Yeah, or like Jerry Lewis. Like, just one of those guys is just...

Jerry Lewis died. Yeah, he died. But he was alive forever. True, yeah. All those guys, they just like... I forgot he died for a second. They live in, like, Las Vegas in like a bunker. and then the only time you ever see him

is when Ricky Jervais goes to interview them Yeah For AARP magazine Yeah exactly Yeah I hope to be one of those guys one day I hope to live forever You know I'm gonna die before I turn 70

I can tell you that already Yeah You want to make sure Nobody in my family has ever like on my mom's side Has lived past like 70 Dude it's fucked everybody in my family lives a fucking 100 Really I will I can't kill myself

Yeah I'm invincible And they all smoked their entire lives, and they just ate, like, fucking potatoes, and they just, and grits, and then they just lived to a hundred. Well, we, I think we're fucked as a generation, because we have all these, like, preservatives and, like, microplastics and shit that, like, maybe we'll live way longer because, like, so, like, our brains are being preserved by the same thing that, like, made, that made fruit not, like, the apple slices of McDonald's not go brown. All my relatives were born at the beginning of the Industrial Revolution probably didn't have. any sort of like, you know, outside toxins in their body. They didn't even have McDonald's. I mean, we're probably going to live to, we'll live to like 120, but then have children

that are like, like, half McDonald's toy. Yeah. Like, that's just like... I don't know, dude. My grandpa... They'll be born with a button on their back that plays voice lines. They could, they thought getting high was like, fucking sitting at the top of the chimney and just inhaling.

Like, I think, like, we're probably okay, right? Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I guess I probably did eat a lot of, like, bits of toys that we were. were in the cereal box growing up. I, uh, when I was like five, I was playing with Legos and I thought it would be funny to lay down and put a Lego in my, like a mini figure in my mouth, because I was like a giant.

And, uh, what you were in a game I was playing. And I, I remember, uh, just choking immediately. That was the first time. The second you get it in your mouth. Yeah, that was the first time I ever got like CPR administered on me. Um, the first time. What? I think I had it one other time. I probably choked at dinner or something. When we were looking for the list for this episode, I found a list that we're not going to use, but it was just making me laugh because it was a list of, like,

toys that were very dangerous, and it was like there was one that was like an Easter egg that if you put it in water, it hatches, and they had to recall it because children were swallowing it and that it would hatch in their stomachs and create an intestinal blockage that was not detectable by x-ray. I'm sure to just amaze it.

Pat has had CPR done twice to him. Probably not CPR. It was probably just like my mind hitting me on the back. Okay, all right. Don't say CPR then, because I'm thinking that you're like dead and somebody had to revive you. No, I mean, fuck. I meant Heimlich. Somebody knocked something out of your mouth.

Yeah, I meant Heimlich. I got Heimlich and CPR confused. Oh, my God, dude. You damn you gave me a heart attack. Yeah, those are very different things. I completely understand why you're confused. Yeah, I had opened heart surgery five. times.

I thought, I thought CPR... I had a nosebleed. I thought CPR meant chest press rescue. I thought CPR meant chest press rescue. That's not true. once at the dinner table. That's happened to me a million times, dude. Well, that's not like, he like, he like,

or was he, no, was it water or a hot dog? I mean, if it, those are two very different things. Yeah, if you're choking on water just me, it's just coughing. That doesn't count. I don't count that as choking. Yeah, unless you're like, actively drowning. Yeah, it's not. Choking feels good.

My, yeah, my brother, my brother, Eric, he either choked on water or choked on a hot dog and we just like, we're just staring at him like, what? Like, what are you doing? Do some. Yeah. Yeah. Ha, ha, very funny.

Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah. The list we have today is a bit of a 13 plus. Are you sure you're above 18 plus? Why did you get so purple? Yes, I guess I'm because I opened the splash page to ask if I'm 18. Wow. I'm going to say yes.

Here's a, oh, we'll have to come back to this website because on the sidebar here. It's the 27 of Rob. movies that will fulfill all possible sexual fantasies you've ever had. This is an Indian website called scoop-whoop.com. Oh my God. Fifteen Indian condom ads

The government doesn't want you to see between 6 a.m. and 10 p.m. I fucking... I clicked on the 20... We have to come... Fuck, I don't want to spoil it. I'll have to tell you maybe Cam edit this out because this will be a good... No, don't say anything I have to edit out.

Fuck you. You make me do that so much. We just open this one up. I don't give a... fuck we can try this one okay i'll send it to me send the list maybe it's only good for this thing but number two it doesn't matter number two on 27 erotic movies that'll fulfill all possible sexual fantasies is lolita oh no christ right number two olita number three hard candy We're telling to notice a thief. I bet you that then, right.

Number three, happiness by Todd Salons. This is a nasty website. Yeah. The list we have are, here are 69, quirky, weird, and kinky things you need to add to your sex bucket list. I mean, we all got a sex bucket list, right? No. No. Number one, sex.

Crossed off. It's crossed off. And that's going to do it for my bucket list. Sex and die. Die. That is my sexual bucket list. This is from Shailen Jacob. If you've been with your special one for a very long time, you know how monotonous sex can become. After all, how much can you experiment, right?

I mean, I for one fucking hate having sex. It's fucking, what a chore. It's disgusting to me. It's like homework. Yeah. Painful, revolting. Mm-hmm. boring yeah dude my balls look weird after

difficult and it's like i have to call my like my mom and dad have to be there you know yeah exactly it doesn't feel good yeah you know until you're 25 like what is it 24 yeah i think it's 24 yeah 24 is the age when you can finally start having sex by yourself you don't need your parents permission parent or guardian yeah and i forget i forget a pen all the time for the permission slip yeah that's my i have to use my poop yeah i have to use my poop yeah i to sign it and bloke. Probably my fingers hurt by the end of it because I'm down there fucking fretting

like a guitar hero. I'm tired, dude. I hate that I have to be under the bed too while it's happening. It's like, can I get up there and like join him? Yeah. My back hurts after because the bed keeps hitting my spine.

It's moving a disc in my back. Yeah, it's fucked up, dude. But if you see. still have hope and are willing to do anything it takes to bring back the spice and kink in your relationship. We suggest you try these 69 titillating things with your partner. Number one, try out bondage. You might just surprise yourself with your partner. Yeah, my girlfriend comes home and I'm wrapped up like Cindy Lou Who. And I'm like, yeah. Wait, like who? Hold on. Why Cindy Lou? Remember the Grinch wraps her as a present? Are you guys stupid?

Why go there? I don't remember that. it was funny she gets wrapped up like a present I don't remember that either to be honest I don't know she sees him

taking the Christmas tree and then he wraps her like a gift and then her dad walks in and he's like he's like what happened he's stupid bitch

and she's like oh the Grinch and he's like you're a stupid bitch you don't know shit about the Grinch the Grinch lives in the hill

I don't look this up dude I don't know what to tell you to me this was the most iconic in the movie, in the film, I'm sorry.

Number two, try rimming. It's not everyone's... Why did they jump right into that? Damn. That means the rest of this shit's gonna... It's gonna be crazy. Is rimming when you put your junk around the hole? I don't know what rimming is. What's rimming?

You put your junk around the hole? You're trying to draw a circle around it. Is that what it... That's always wrong. I imagine it when I hear that is like use your dick like a pencil. I'm surprised you of all people. Oh, no.

I don't know, dude. What's rimming? It's getting your butt ate out. Oh, what? What hell? That's nasty. I thought that was when you draw your penis.

No. I was playing Osu on her butthole. I didn't realize it was... Yeah, I'm playing picto chat. Yeah. My bad, dude. I'm really fucking this list up so far

It's a good thing you You know You figured that out before you Asked anybody to you know Do it or anything True Could have avoided a very awkward situation No I thought I'd just draw like a square

Yeah Down there with a pencil Sorry it's taking me really long I keep having to sharpen it Yeah sir I'm following one of those One of those like behind the scenes Simpsons videos where they teach you how to draw Homer with three circles

Number three, give anal a chance with lots of lube. I use up all my oil drowning baby mice last night, so that might be off the table for me. You did it in loo. Yeah, yeah. A strawberry flavored loo.

Yeah, dude. At least it died horny. I like this picture they put in of like a skull of a woman getting gangpaint. Yeah, this is not a good... And then one who... One other woman who seems so horrified that she has to cover her eyes.

Yeah. Oh. That she can't watch. Source of this picture is the blog, breakaway backpacker. What? Try silent sex. What is this?

What is this made by freaking Charlie Chaplin or something? Yeah, I mean, come on that. Yeah, try sex with the damn organist playing a tune. No moans, no talking, just a whole lot of inward and outward motion. That is what, yeah, you know it would be really hot if we just...

If you just shut the fuck up. If you just shut up for one fucking second. Oh my God. And I'll shut up too. Yeah, I'll shut up too. Here, we can both pretend we're dead. Just shut the fuck up. Everyone's going to be fucking quiet.

Yeah, just doing quiet coyote in their face. If you can hear me, Clap once Number five Have loud as fuck sex Go bonkers Hit the highest note you can Me me me me me me

Oh you don't like that My leg My pots and pans suit of armor Yeah And I'm smashing baking sheets together Girl I know you always wanted to fuck a one-man band Two symbols just like Crash bang

Doop do do do do do Do No 6 have no holds barred Crazy sex in a five-star hotel It has to be a five-star hotel And it's getting expensive It has to be crazy Uh-huh

Yeah And the craziest thing I can think of Sex in a hotel Yeah let's get real crazy How about we both eat a warhead Right before we fuck Make our hair fucking fly out like spaghetti noodles

So what do you think? Be crazy. Also, we're going to look like the Play-Doh Barbershop. Yeah. We're going to be in the Hilton, too. Yeah. It's just how it has to be. When you're with me, man, we're on number six.

Look at these crazy tiny shampoos. Number seven, watch each other masturbate and get off. No, thank you. And get off! Yeah. Get off the bus! I could do that by myself. Thank you very much.

Yeah. Get off the bus right now. You two can't be doing that in the back of the bus. Mission accomplished. No, we don't realize. No, no, hold on. I read this on scoop-whoop.com. I was supposed to do this.

It's going to save my marriage. Number eight, give your partner... This is a $15 bus to Chinatown. You get the hell off of here. I like that... I like number eight being a kink. Give your partner multiple orgasms because they deserve it. Yeah.

Yeah, my kink is I'm insanely good at sex. and they make everyone come. Just my kink, dude. When you rock it with me, you've got to be okay with my kinks. Number one, I'm going to make you come a trillion times a second. Hey, baby, you want to get really kinky? Okay, we just have to wait 20 minutes and then... Okay, wait, no, 30 minutes.

A little longer. Okay, well, you know what, I'm going to get in the shower, but, you know, don't... This is going to get crazy. Here, maybe I just leave the room. You could probably handle the rest of this, right? Number nine, devote an entire... day to just pleasing your partner.

From oral sex to erotic massages. Do everything. Wake up, recruit. Attention shot. Day starting early today. Make your damn bed. That's no damn 90 degree angle. I said, try fold on your pussy.

I want to bounce a quarter on it. Number 10, have sex in a place you might get caught. It can be at your parents' house, at your friend's house, at a relative's place. You get the drift, right? No, what the fuck? Why would you... What? People want to get caught having sex?

That's so weird. They want to get grounded? Yeah, what? If you're going to do it where you're going to... If it's going to be about getting caught, I mean, it could at least don't involve your family and friends. Because also if your parents, if you're like an adult and your parents walk in, they're just going to be like, okay, that's nasty. Have you seen that, uh, like you're not in trouble if you're having sex as an adult, like, wait, is another stepmom porn that you have watched a million times?

No, the Will Arnette episode of Sex in the City where he's dating Miranda. And his whole thing is that his whole thing is that he like, his whole thing is he likes to almost get caught. And then like, he's like, like, he invites his parents over for dinner. or something, and they get caught by Will Arnett's... It's a great, it's a good episode. But then what happens? He gets caught by his parents, and he's still going.

Wait, doing what? Having sex with Miranda. Can we hear more details? What are they doing to each other? They're having sex, and Willardette's like... In a way, though. What's like, that's my parents? What position are we, like, talking about here? I don't remember.

And they're just completely naked. Right? Sox or... It's tasteful nudity. A hat. We have a hat. Sex in the city. I would think you would expect more.

Pre, pre, like, 2005 HBO nudity. Pre-9-11. Pre-9-11 nudity. After 9-11, they were like, ah, we gotta do something for this country. We have to put as many clocks and balls. Dude, I keep walking,

Jan is watching Game of Thrones, like, for some reason. And I keep walking in, these fucking guys' balls and dick on the screen. What the fuck, dude? That's what it was like in the fantasy days. It's true. Is that true?

Everybody's got their balls out? If it's like a fantasy thing, you can show. a guy's full penis. If it's like a TV show where they have a cell phone at all, you can only see their butt. Do it, yeah.

Just imagine out of place it would be if you just see full hanging balls in like a Star Wars show. Right? You can't do that. Well, I mean, I haven't seen the bad batch yet, but... That could be what the bad batch is about.

Yeah, they're so bad, their dicks and balls are always out. That could be what the batch is. Yeah, it could be a batch of balls. Batch of nuts. Number 11 Sexed while you're in the office And get off

If you're in the same office Great To my boss Yeah What up I'm in the bathroom I just took a crap But my weaners out

Do you want to see that? I got my thing You're trying to see that You want me to send you The sexiest gift I can find Text me my boss To be like Yo check out my thing

But it's just a picture In my desk I forgot I forgot to move Yeah I forgot to scoop my chair out Sorry My penis would be there if I was naked. If there was nothing but just me in this room, you'd see my penis right now.

Imagine if my chair was, my chair was your mouth, the whole chair. Yeah. Number 12. Dedicate a full day to just trying out different sex positions and sleeping it. Come on. Sleeping in. I can do that. I didn't have no problem, dude.

That's not very sexy, but I'll do it. Number 13. The picture. This picture, this guy I think they're trying to communicate This girl is like jacking off this guy And he's coming But the way that he has his mouth open

Like a pog Like a pog champ And his eyes are just like extremely uneven This dude's going full Mr. Bean Because fucking Ginny Slate has her hand up his ass Yeah, this guy's a puppet That's why he looks like that Number 14 and 15

Did we read number 13? I don't know. No, no, I don't. There's 69 of these. I don't think we have to. He can skip them if you have to. Number 14 and 15. Number 14, finger her in public.

She's going to love it. I don't know about that. Yeah. Well, yeah. There's, I don't know. Number 15, give him a hand job in public. He's going to find it hard to keep calm for sure. And that one's bolded.

The hand job one is, but the finger one isn't. So what's up with that? Yeah. Think about that for a minute. I don't think people like, I don't think I would like that if I'm in my, especially, you know, I'm like about to go up a belt in Taekwondo and my girl just starts jacking my shit. Yeah. You know, I'm in the dojo right now, bitch. I'm in that damn dojo right now.

Yeah, I'm in the dojo. I'm in that dojo. You can't disrespect. Don't you hate it when you're in the dojo? Can't you disrespect? You see that Korean flag over there? That means we're in the dojo. Yeah.

You're not. Hey, you're not touching my thing. This penis is off limits. You are not, uh-uh. Not Lugoo, you are not undoing this belt. I'll take you down. I worked fucking hard. I worked so hard.

Just a blue belt. Only Master Ray can undo this belt, and it's when he's replacing it with a new better belt. Leave my shit alone. I'm almost up to red, I think. I don't know the order. Or my girl, we're in public, like, at the zoo or something. She starts, like, unbuckling my belt. And I'm like, hey, what are he doing?

She's like, you know what I'm doing? I'm just like, are you trying to wipe my butt right now at the zoo? What the hell are you doing? Trying to wipe my butt right now? What the hell? I swear I wiped earlier. It's not that bad. How'd you know?

How'd you know that I didn't wipe? Number 16. How could you just smell it over the animals? Have sex in front of a glass window. You know, the kind that looks out on the street maybe? All right. Well, I don't need all that attitude. Oh, yeah, come on.

Yeah, come on, dude. Don't act like I'm stupid about glass. Yeah, I know. Where else is a glass window going to go? I mean, a glass window from the living room to the kitchen? Yeah, dude. Dude, all the food can see us right now. Oh, man.

Dude, fuck. The fridge is looking at me. Have you seen sausage party? That food's about to talk. That's actually true. Sausage party taught me that actually food that is shaped like vaginas and a penis is actually so horny. Yeah. Pretty sick.

They're and hilarious, too, in an odd sort of way. Yeah. This one, 17's a little vague. Stop that damn elevator and get going. Yeah, that's ruining the day of a lot of people. Can you stop an elevator? Yeah, you hit the stop button. There's a stop button?

Doesn't it also, like, call the fire department if you do that? You got to go quick. True, I guess so. Yeah. Police report with cum all over your face. Most buttons that stop an elevator, I think, also set off an alarm. Like a loud alarm. Yeah.

Yeah, they call the fire department, I think. Or at least the bell boy. They have, like, a phone. Like, I'm pretty sure they can, like, talk to you in the elevator. And there's a camera in the elevator, most elevators, at least. Plus, there's the elevator. There's the elevator attendant. Well, there is that, you know, there is that Aerosmith song.

I am just remembering. There is that Aerosmith song, I love in an elevator. Is that what they talking about? Yeah. God. I don't have sex in an elevator. I mean, you're just having sex in an elevator. You could do it in like a mind shaft elevator.

There's putting no cameras in there. Yeah. He's not to worry about black lung. See, this is just the same fucking... Yeah, they keep repeating. Number 18, spend a day naked in each other's company. You can choose to have sex or just lay back and relax. You know, it's really kinky.

Is laying back and relaxing all that. A loitin cloth. Bear asshole on the fucking... On the couch. Scooting on the couch like a dog. Just leaving a brown... drinking lemonade, and I'm playing Zelda without her in the room. I'm so glad we decided to follow that list of kinks.

She walks into the room and you say, get out. I think this might be my sexual fetish, babe. Can you stay in the other room? Number 19, have sex at your office or your partner's office. It makes for good stories. I'll say it makes for good stories. Have you guys ever heard of the TV show? The office?

True. Parks and recreation? One of the best stories is Parks and Recreation. Use a vibrator on your partner They're going to love it Didn't they already say something they're going to love it Yeah They claim that they're going to love all of this

Number 21 give her a nipple gasm I don't know what that could mean You remember that one of those like Swagapino Tumblr pictures Where it's like we're like cushion lyrics Type thing there's one of them that says Do epic shit with her pussy Yeah

Give for a nipple gazzar. No, I think that would fit well on, like, a picture of a guy, like, holding his flat broom up and, like, exhaling a giant cloud of... Of delicious smoke. Ugh. Delicious sexy smoke. Oh, my God. Have a quickie in a public place, because living life on the edge is exciting. Yeah, you guys are repeating yourself.

There's a lot of repeats. All right. We'll skip the repeats for now. Number 23, touch each other in a movie theater with people in it. Number 24. I like, okay. Yeah, number 24. try role-playing. Make them your slave.

Get them to play a nurse or a plumber. Or you can just be strangers. Whatever floats your boat. Yeah, Dave, I've been really wanted to do role play recently. I was thinking you could just be my slave. Doing role play as a nurse and just being like, can you put your dick away? I have to make a TikTok right now.

Yeah, I have to go wine on Facebook. Hey, a slave, kitchen floor is looking pretty dirty. I don't know. Yeah, you have to do, uh, whatever I say. Yeah, some slave you turned out to be. Hey, slave, can you act as a human remote control and press all the buttons on the back of the TV?

Thank you, slave. I didn't say slave off. I didn't say slave off. Keep pretending you're my slave. Number 26, get naked and cook together. What? I love fine. Aren't you worried?

I love hot oil. Yeah, aren't you worried about oil at all? Oh yeah, we're frying, we're frying fucking... We're making chicken parm with their fucking... Dix out We're frying Brussels sprouts Fucking water content And that thing's going

Yeah I got it makes the deep fry I go fucking crazy I got four frying pans We're frying bacon And each one of them Yeah And ice cubes

Ah Ah Oh fuck Ah And then you get to eat Bacon while you're doing it Young Yeah

Yeah Number 28 Try a remote Controlled sex toy Imagine making your partner Squirm in public at your will. Interesting, right?

It's like an RC car. I'm here, two finger, you. It's like a dancing robot, you know? Yeah. The like, uh, what's that robot called? You know the one I'm talking about? Robo Modo? Yeah, the one remote control robot. Get one of those back flipping dogs.

Yeah. Just like, can you just sit on this in like a weird way? I think it might work. Yeah. Oh, Robo Moto is the video game company that made Tony Hawk ride. That's the same thing. take penetration out of the equation and focus only on foreplay. You just added that for the rhyme, dude.

Yeah. Yeah, I didn't know you were an MF Doom-style rhyme-sayer. Blindfold them, devoid them of all their senses and see the magic unfold. All the senses? I'm going to plug you up like you got the suns. That is like, that's a saw monologue. Like that sounds terrifying. Yeah, that sounds evil.

Devoid them of all. all of their senses and see the magic unfold. Half of these sound very evil. Yeah. You know, there's nothing wrong with making your girl pinch her nose when you... Number 32 here. Use the jet spray to give her a quick orgasm. Trust me, it's amazing.

What is the jet spray? You know, the jet spray. You know, on a garden hose, you can turn it to jet. No, dude, use a hose? You take the hose, bring it through your apartment window. You guys are getting busy. You get up, you beck and her, you bring her to the kitchen. and you turn on the sprayer from the sink and you go yeah he's like okay now get up in the sink

because this is not a very long hose uh smear edible paint all over each other and get you mean frosting you can always put up the masterpiece on your bedroom wall you're just like red just like blood splatter all over your apartment yeah we basically ate each other's paint uh wear a dress without panties and let him know in the most creative way. I just had to shit without taking anything off. Handing him a card that has like a pop-up on the inside when you open it up that you

made out of like construction paper. That's just, yeah. Have sex on the beach, but make sure you carry a mat. You don't want sand in certain crevices now, do you? Maybe I do. Why are you fucking on the damn beach then, bro? Yeah. I mean, if you don't want sand in your thing,

just stay away from the beach. Do it in the parking lot that's the last place to go The parking lot The parking lot of the beach There's way less sand there What? Say no to lingerie And get wet in the rain together

That makes no goddamn sense at all Uh join the mile high club Because why the hell not? Well, it's illegal And there's actually air marshals on it Who will send you to jail Have you not seen Harold and Kumar go to Guantanamo Bay? Come on.

Do you not know what happens when a when, when hilarity ensues on a plane. It's never good, dude. Sometimes you're on a plane before it takes off, you sit there, you kind of feel the air,

you say, this is too funny to be safe and you walk off. Have sex in the car. If you don't have one, borrow and have sex. Just don't tell them. No way.

On the sidebar here, there's another list by Shailin Jacob, which is 11 short erotic stories to get you in the mood tonight. And here's what it says in the thumbnail. Starved, spread his breakfast on the table

unwrapped as he took a bite his breakfast moaned what oh dude every day I thank God I'm a normal Christian and I don't have all these fucking weird I don't know what a rim job is

yeah watch a movie or anything else and touch each other yeah I just do something who care just yeah just fucking throw your thing Throw on Rick and Morty and jack my shit. Just for once too. Just throw your thing at a... Just throw my thing in there.

Do a photo shoot together. The boudoir kind. Ooh. Dress up in the kinkiest of outfits and seduce him. Baby doll lingerie set. Sexy teacher nurse. Whatever turns him on. Sexy teacher nurse.

Teacher who is a nurse. A teacher who's a nurse. The school nurse. The worst person of all of all. time sexy lunch lady teacher school principal nurse sexy female gym teacher the sexy janitor fucked my balls now that's hot yeah the janitor got stuck on his broom and I had to fuck him out of it that ooh the sexy guidance counselor school security officer who has to run the metal detector dude is your penis made out of metal I need to detect it the gym teacher got

stuck in a basketball, and I got a fuck in her face. So hot. The sexiest thing I can think of wearing a basketball on my head. You're fucking a basketball tonight. School therapist got stuck in her own mind, and I had to fuck

her out. That's fit with the theme, right? Yeah. Have drunk sex. It's a real diminishing returns from this. Yeah. Take a shower together. I don't know.

That's just a chore. Invent a sex position. Listen how fucking lazy they get. Number 61, 63. Have sex in front of a mirror. Have sex on the washing machine. Have sex in a room lit with candles. Have sex in the kitchen.

They were just trying to hit 69. Yeah. I know that's possible. Number 69 is going to blow your mind when we get there. Just so you know. Wait, 67, sneak into a trial room and do it. A trial room? I was talking about, like, at a courthouse?

A courtroom. What the fuck? Yeah. Why would you go to a... How do you have access? You need keys. You got to be, like, at least a lawyer. Yeah, you'd have to do some like Mission Impossible shit to get in there.

What the fuck? Well, you know, I mean, it is cutting out the middleman there because then there's a lot of crimes you committed to get in there. And you're also committing a crime in the room. Do it in a cheap motel. No, no. No, I won't be doing that. In cheap motel, the fucking motel owner's got cameras in the room.

That's not... call out your partner if you haven't had an orgasm in years print this out show it to your partner and get ready for a sex adventure trust us it's going to be a wild ride get ready for here's okay here's there are two comments i'm going to read this comment from from user drainhead okay this is in all capitals i will now follow 69 kinky sex bucket list idea number 69 my partner of 75 years david mordykeye snider has not touched me or brought me to orgasm since Nixon was in office. I have become dry and withered like a saltine. None of these work due to our heart problem conditions. I am not sure that a sexy new sex position will be able to last for my sweet David Bordecai Snyder before I break him and he dies.

Scoop bloop.com, I do not know how much time I have left. It's pretty good from Drainhead. This is a comment from Umar. Media Lord helped me with closure on my boyfriend's phone. After all, the lies and coming home late nights, I was able to gain remote access to his phone activities through the spy app sent to me Hacking Loop 6 at gmail.com. If you suspect that your partner might be cheating on you,

kindly reach out to Hacking Loop. He's a legit hacker. Tell him I referred to you. Using a hacker? This is just an ad for Hacking Loop. Oh, my God, dude. I know that that's Hacking Loop himself making that. That's how LUMAR.

Yeah. Oh, let me, I just refurb. I just reversed searched or whatever the fucking term is. I looked up Hacking Loop 6. Yeah, you know who owns that email? Umar Hacking Loop. Do you always want to do a quick quiz to round this out? Yeah, dude.

Take this quiz and we'll try to guess which comma suture position best describes your sex life. All right. Are you someone who loves experimenting with new adventures in bed? Take this quiz and we will tell you the position that suits your sex life the best, wink. Number one, let's start with a simple one. What's your ideal vacation location? Mountains, Beach, Forest, Desert. Desert.

Desert. Yep. I love the desert. What's a sex toy you always wanted to try with your partner? Vibrator strap-on handcuffs sex dolls. Is there a sand-related option? Maybe sandcuffs. Sand cuffs, yeah, okay.

What's your favorite sexy food? Strawberries and liquid chocolate, whipped cream, popsicle, or honey? Cactus. Sandwich. Probably whipped cream, because whipped cream is good out of the damn bottle. Which everyone can be put into a desert, though. All right, so if I'm in the desert, I'm stuck, I have a sand fucker as a toy, and then I have to pick something. He's water in options.

I guess I'll do popsicle. That's the closest to water. Yeah, I'm dying out here. What's your favorite animal? Dog, cat, panda, horse. It's got to be a horse to get out of the desert, right? Yeah, probably a horse. Which color reminds you of your partner?

Red, pink, black, or golden? golden the color of sand yep yeah what's your favorite drink wine whiskey beer or vodka um it's it's all a mirage i don't do you better sandka uh i'll say wine i'm uh you know even i'm stuck in the desert it's been days i haven't lost my dignity though that's true yeah what's your favorite phrase to turn your partner on i'm dripping wet i want you so bad do you like that baby or i need you so bad right now i think i need you so bad right now because I'm lost in the desert. I feel like I'm dripping wet because she's lost with me, right?

Presumably. We're both in the desert. She's also in the desert, but I don't know where she is. But if I'm dripping. She got taken by a sand tornado. She got taken by a Jawa. She, yeah. Yeah, I think they pieced her out or something.

I saw one of them carrying her leg to make ship. Yeah, probably, probably I'm dripping wet. All right. What's your favorite romantic activity? wine tasting, movie marathon, chilling in hot tub, or massaging. Maraging? You say miraging?

Yeah, do you say miraging? A hot tub oasis. Hot tub oasis. Yeah, a hot spring. But then you can't drink the water. It's too hot. I would drink it. I don't know if that would be refreshing.

I would just wait for a nighttime and then I would drink it. All right. You got smarted me again. What's your favorite workout? Squats, lunges, push-ups, or bridges. Whichever one burns the least precious calories, So I'm going to say crunches.

Yeah, I mean, we are in the desert. Yeah. I got to conserve every bit of energy I have. Crunches is not an option. Oh, I thought you said crunches. Blunches. Sorry, I'm having, I'm having it's a mirage. Sorry, my brain is a mirage right now.

Yeah, sorry, I had a mirage thought bubble. I saw a speech bubble coming out of you. Next time, yeah, next time I have to play something off. I'm sorry, I thought it was a mirage in my brain. Yeah. I say bridges. Okay, bridges. Got to get a bridge out of the desert.

True. I don't know what a bridge is, but a bridge is presumably goes over a body of water. The result is the Ome position, which I'll send you a picture of this in the chat. But the first line of the description of this is, um, is you belong to the lazy kind when it comes down to sex. But lazy doesn't mean uninteresting, just like this position, relaxing, but far from boring. Your partner will sit cross-legged and you will sit in the, lap facing them for your support wrap your legs around them and hug each other this is the number one way to not get separated in the desert true and also at night the desert actually gets surprisingly cold yeah plus you get plus you're like sitting like that you can use your your

partner as a backpack and uh keep like gummy bears and all you can use them like a yeah it's like a camel's hump you just fill them with water yeah yeah exactly some water you're both sitting like that like you're carrying them around like that and And then a sweat's going to pool up. You put that through a filter. You got some water. Exactly. Damn, dude.

You can't drink sweat. That won't hydrate you, will it? Yeah, I can. Obviously, if you put it through a filter first. Yeah. If you put it through a... If you put it into the water machine... Oh, I forgot I brought the water machine to the desert.

It turns sand into water. Yeah, also, I like the idea of somebody getting stranded in the desert, but they just went on vacation there, and they just, like, they didn't, like, fall off of anything. They just went and got stuff. I'm sure that's happened Yeah dude I would like that to happen to me

Baby for our honeymoon I want to go to the middle of the desert Yeah we put We put the date of our anniversary As longitude and latitude And it took us to the middle of the goby desert And we are going to die Hey rules or rules

All right Bye everybody Bye Bye