Podcast About List - Ep. 151 - Damn! All these hot chicks around the world are making me horny!

Episode Date: June 23, 2021

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You're listening to Israel's number one podcast. Out of course to the ball list. You're in the crap monster. Wow, dude. Wow. Wow. An original recipe, dude, it's been way too long. Wow.

Fuck. And I'm recording live from the danger zone right now. Yeah? Mm-hmm. Which danger zone? North Carolina danger zone. Is that a danger zone? It is for me, dude.

You know what? Why? Because every time I walk down the street, I see a place that sells 50 pounds of Kratem for $10. And I've never done Kratom, but I'm getting close to it. It's putting you in danger. It's putting me in danger of trying Kratom. Yeah.

Dude, it's just hard. They're throwing it at you here, dude. Yeah. Just like nonstop, these big baggies of, like, sawdust that supposedly they're like, it's like, it's like heroin, dude. It's free. It's free. Just take it. It's fine.

It's heroin that's good for you. but if you take it and you've eaten that day, you throw up. Dude, it's amazing being in a place that doesn't have legal weed because they're selling like that. And they're selling this shit called Delta 8. Have you ever heard of Delta 8? Delta 8 is like, it's like not weed or some shit, but like everybody here thinks that it's the best thing of all time.

Yeah. I just, dude, I got to get out of here, man. I mean, it's a danger zone, bro. They were too lazy to even change the name of it after it, like, got leaked from a lab. Yeah, yeah, you're like, we're not even gonna, we're not even gonna call this, like, Yeah, we're not gonna call it, yeah, like, like, Turbo Weed or something. Yeah, Kratum, Kava, grungis, fumble. Like, it's fucking terrible, dude.

Yeah, Roku, too, B, Hulu. Yeah, Roku, Amazon, Netflix. On the Netflix pack, dude. But it's just like, I know that if I tried Kratom, I, you would never see me again. Like, I would be like, I would be, like, one of the point zero one percent of people who just, like, do Kratum until they die. Yeah. I'd be, like, fucking sprinkling over. I'd be using like Parmesan cheese on like salads and shit.

Yeah. It would not be good, bro. It's like, that's maybe the, the lamest way you could ever take a drug is in a, is in powder like that. Yeah. You have to like mix in and drink or whatever. Yeah, it's not even like, like you don't even snort it. Yeah, you don't snort. Yeah, exactly.

I mean, injection, that's cool. Smoking. That's cool. There's fire. Dude, Kratem is like, you like put it in like orange juice. Yeah, exactly. And like this is like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, fiber.

Yeah, what kind of embarrassing? This is a supplement, dude. But supposedly it'll make you really tired, which I guess is what drugs are about. That's what people like. Yeah. Yeah. But just everybody here is just fucking, dude. And they're always, it's like the only thing that you overhear people talking about in public is like Delta 8 and Kratom and Kava and about how it, like, cured their knee or whatever.

I used to have knee, but then I had Kratom and it cured my knee. It's fucking terrible That's a good Skyrim reference Yeah, yeah You know how I am, dude I'm a gamer Yeah But it's been nice in the danger zone

I have It's hot as shit There's the AC in my car Is broken In my Ford focus Tell you what These fellas at Ford Should have focused

On making a better damn Air conditioning unit You know what I'm saying Absolutely Which is You know Sad Ford was a great company back in the day

But they lost their focus. American company. Ford used to Ford struck a cord in the market as four as cores goer. But then they gave up, dude. They leveled down. Started making these dog shit cars. Exactly. No air conditioner. And I'm just out here sweating, dude.

Sweeting. Dodging. Dodging cratim landmines left and right. I wish it was Dodge instead of Ford. That's right. That's fucking right. Yep. Dodge. And that's a real American. car brand, dude. Absolutely. Ford, here's the thing

they don't tell you about Ford, all that shits. Grab that ram. Grab that ram, dude. Grab the horns. Yeah. Take care of that thing, dude. The Ford is nonsense, bro.

Ford is like... Here's the thing, man. Like, the first... Ford's like the first car, right? Yeah. There's nothing where the first one was the best one. There's not a single thing

where, like, the first kind of that thing was the best one. books Gutenberg Bible that thing sucks what about like the Matrix what the fuck

what you can't what the fuck a challenger has just a beard in the middle of recording the episode and not only that is dude

are you recording your audio now I am right now all right that's fine do you guys like my new sunglasses no dude I hate this dude

I was having, I had so much plan, dude. I was going to... What do you mean? I was going to make an entire playboy featuring your whole family, and now I can't, dude. What? Yeah, man, I was going to make a sexy playboy

about your family. How far into recording are you guys? About five minutes. Oh, my bad. No, it's fine. It's fine. You hopped in. I'm fine with it.

What do you think about dodging for? Yeah. So what we're talking about... Is that? Okay, is your opinion that, like, A Ford is like a Nord But Dodge Is more like a mirage

Is what Oh so it's like a rhyming thing No like a Ford if you put it backwards It drofe We were Okay We were just tired Playing around with different words

We were doing word blake A shavy A shavy As good as gravy Yeah Okay Yeah A ram drive you cam

drive you can't you drive you can Mazda Mazda let's go get some Posda Yeah that's right Head to the Olive Garden in this Mazda Get some posda Exactly

You know Super Roo Olive Garden has some food for you Mm-hmm Toyota Go to Olive Garden Get some soda It's that easy dude

Camry I'll go into Olive Garden It's one of my greatest mammaries Camry, I'm at Olive Garden, I'm angry. I'm looking at these things here. I'm looking at Ford memes online. Dude, Ford is a dog shit car, man. Yeah.

Here's one. It's a picture of Forrest Gump. Yep. And it says, Mom always said Ford's are for gay men. What's the bottom of? What's like the... What's the bottom text? The bottom text is...

What's the never-know-what-you-going-game-type thing? Oh, okay, that's it. So as my mom always said, Ford's are for gay men. That's the whole kind of Forrest-Gump format they came up with. Well, I mean, you have to give Forrest Gump a little bit of, you know, I mean, he is mentally challenged man.

Well, that's not, I would have... If I was going to diss Ford with Forrest Gump, I would have said, Ford is as mentally challenged as Forrest Gump is. Fordist Gump Fortis Gump Yeah I wouldn't have tried to

You know Also why am I listening To Forrest Gump dude This guy's a moron Hey well come on He's not a more Don't say moron about him Why he's stupid

He's I never saw that movie You never saw Forrest Gump No I saw I don't think he was even confirmed He was mentally challenged He's a least He's slightly above

Mentally challenged In the movie They say that show like they show a graph they show a graph and then they're like your son is here and it's like a little bit a scene in that movie that is a scene in that movie i don't think that's true it's true and then sally field uh fucks the principal so he can go to normal school yeah i remember that not not challenged school i was pretty cool dude that's it they should make more porn with that exact scenario yeah with force gump involved yeah yeah you got to fuck

this principal to get to Forrest Gump into school. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's a good way, too, to get more, like, non-sexual actors into the porn. True. You could have, like, you know, people who, you know, are playing the person who has to get into school, maybe. Yeah, that's a good point.

Maybe it doesn't have to be in the same room as the sex or whatever's going on, but maybe just, like, an intro with a different actor, and then we can, you know, employ more actors who maybe have been falling on hard times lately. What about a movie? So in this same vein, what about like a movie where Rodney Dangerfield has to go back to college? No. He'd be too funny. Yeah?

I'd kick him out of my class if I was a damn professor. Yeah, I would too. He'd be in there sweating up a storm, getting everybody wet, and also making them laugh too hard. Yeah. Now, but if he was a professor, now that might be a funny-ass class. It's really fucked up what they... You could teach a class on how to get respect or how to get no respect. Yeah, it's really fucked up what they did to Ron.

any Dangerfield back then. Like, if I was around him, I would have given him respect. And then he wouldn't have, hey, wouldn't have been so sad all the time. Yeah, he wouldn't have killed himself. Also, what's this guy's, I mean, this guy was on the Tonight Show, like, once a week. How much respect can one man have? What do you want to be Mousie Dong? Like, what is he going for?

Why is he still complaining? He's fainting. It's weird. Yeah, another thing, he looks weird. Yeah, another thing, he's old as dog crap. He didn't kill himself. Of course he didn't kill himself. Do you don't kill yourself when you turn 80?

I would. you'd kill yourself the second you turn 80 I wouldn't wait till 80 if it was an old age thing I don't know I don't know if I was like 20 years of being old

20 years of just sucking yeah I would no dude Rodney Dangerfield What if you're gonna be hopping Dude God took Rodney Dangerfield when he was good and ready That was no

That was no man made crime God committed that one God's and God's God Yeah God was like I'll take you to place for you finally get some respect. That's right. That could, that, you know, if he died nowadays,

that some, some political cartoonist would draw that, like, yeah, right. Rodney Angelfield holding hands with God. Yeah. And walking into a door that says respect. That's heaven for him. Yeah. Just respect.

I mean, this guy, he didn't get any respect. I think it's weird that Lou Gehrig killed himself. Did he? Yeah, Lou Gehrick's disease was. That's so sad, dude. I never knew that. Uh-huh. That's why when people...

Yeah, when people say, you know, oh, he died of Lou Gehrig's disease, they lost a battle with their mind. Yeah, ALS stands for a lonely stoner. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. That's what happened to him. It's actually insanely sad what happened to him. He killed himself with a baseball, tried to eat it.

He knew it would kill him, but he just tried. Is that, is this part of my mustache not grow in? I don't know, dude, I can't even barely see you, dude. I see you on a webcam. Does it look patchy in the sunlight? I can't see anything now. Does it look patchy in the sunlight? Yeah.

No, you look like you're on fire. Stop putting those sunglasses on, man. I bought these because they were $5 on the side, on, like, Conall Street. Conall. Canal Oh Beautiful Canal But yeah

I was on Canal Canal, whatever And these were I needed sunglasses And these were five books And I just realized How bad I look in them Were they Gucci sunglasses?

Yes they are Yeah If you're on Canal Street You gotta get like a No they're not They were sold They were $5 like a guy With like a table

They're all a guy with a table Yeah That's like what everything on Canal Street is It's a guy with a table, and he has some fucking, like, some, like, Gucci bags that are made out of paper mache, and he sells them to you. Yeah. That's your rules. When no. I got a fendi belt there.

Yeah, there was a guy in Austin recently who was selling a bunch of, like, suitcases and luggage and purses and stuff off a table. But then the one thing that wasn't, like, a bag that he was selling was a giant wooden cut out of a cow from Ben, and cherries. Did you pick it up? No. I wanted to take a picture of it, but I also didn't want to just like take a picture of this guy. Dude, I really... Because he was standing in front of it.

I really want to go to like the flea market in my hometown. I wonder if it's open back up yet. Oh, I was just at a flea market. Dude, Hampshire to the best. Last time I was in a flea market, I got a... Hollis. I told you about this. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because you hate me. Wow, that's said. Hollis. I've never been to Hollis. The thing about a New Hampshire flea market is that. There's multiple times that day I saw somebody cross the street and say thank you for your service to the crossing car.

Oh yeah. Dude, the flea markets are the best, dude. In the south you get like, like I went to this flea market a couple years ago and I got a pro El Chapo t-shirt that called him the number one Mexican billionaire and it was like free El Chapo, he's the man.

And then I got a framed painting of the last supper where Jesus was replaced with Obama Yeah It's just the sickest shit ever, dude In New Hampshire you either get The flea markets there You're either buying like

A gun or a combat knife Or like a widescreen DVD A Fellowship of the Ring that's covered in cum Like those are the very possible things You can leave with The Londonderry flea market's good The Londoner flea market They have like a big pond in the middle of it

And there's like a fucking, there's a dude and like, they have a boat in the middle of the pond and it's like a mannequin that's kind, I think he's dressed up like a troop I don't remember, but they just have a mannequin fishing in the pond and he just

it just kind of like sits there. That's the best dude. I was in all the flea markets are either like, yeah, like the dogs playing poker but it's like Obama and Bill Clinton or like the most racist toy that anybody's ever imagined. And then when you're like, oh shit, this is like

old as hell, like, where'd you get this? And they're like, man, I bought that 10 years ago. Yeah. There was a family there at the fleam market where they had a little kid and they found at a table like a gun holster that was small, like a child-sized gun holster. And they were trying to put it on the kid and the kid was crying and being like, I don't want to wear this. It sounds like a baby, dude. Yeah, dude. That kid sucks.

Get a cooler kid, man. Kid can't handle it An empty holster There was also There was a free bin Like where you can Everyone just like put the stuff They just want to give away for free

And I walked over And it was just a bunch of trash And then like A baby doll that had like Multicolored paint splattered All over its face Dude if I ever The flea markets are the best dude

If I ever need a $25 bootleg copy of Olympus has fallen I'm going straight to the flea market That's where I get That's where you get good DVDs though You get like 10 DVDs for like $5. Dude, I left there, I went yesterday, I guess. I left there with three Transformers Blu-Rays, dude.

Oh, my God. Dude, my mom used to go to this flea market in Lowell, and she would just buy bootleg DVDs out of some guy's, like, car, like, out of his trunk. Uh-huh. And it was like, like, some of them were, like, screener quality. Like, some of them were, like, fucking. A lot of them were, like, fucking. them are a guy just filming it in the theater.

Yeah, like half of them, half of them, like the Hobbit, we had the Hobbit on DVD. Also, by the time they get to the flea market, they're on DVD. Right. But the Hobbit we had on DVD, that one was a dude filming in his car, and then, like, she had, what were the other ones? I don't know, but there were, like, a bunch of them where it was, like, some of them had, like, a little bar at the bottom that said, like, do not distribute, like, this is a screener, and, like, shit like that.

Who's the fuck is it? Who is selling the screeners to the bootleg guy? Airplane companies, I think. I think airplane companies get, like, the screeners for, like, the in-flight movie. They also just send out, they just send out screeners to, like, company, like, in L.A., you'll just, if you have, like... Do you think we could get a screener? We probably could. We could probably get on the ass, right?

Yeah, one of us joined SAG. Yeah, you'll join SAG. Yeah, I will. My nuts on your face. You know, fucking sagging on my face, and I'm liking them up. Yep. Oh, that's disgusting. I don't want to join that.

We need to get screeners. We need to get press passes to pretty much every event. And, Caleb, this is something that you suggested that I've been thinking about a whole lot. We need to get on Family Feud. Family Feud, if we could launch some kind of... But here's the problem. So I looked it up. I looked up the Family Feud requirements, okay?

Because listen, I would love nothing more than to do Family Feud with you, too. But you do need five. people and they say on the website you have to be blood related so we would need to forge documents well okay no because i just saw celebrity family feud where it was that's celebrity we're not we're celebrating it on celebrity family feud i don't think we're not we're reaching that threshold yet we're going to compete against rob low and his wife here's the first step we become mega ultra thanks okay but there's my my other point still stands here if we just get married we're a family okay it's not like a husband and a wife is blood related

That's a good point, but that only works for two of us. I don't think there's any states you can get triple-married, right? We can adopt. Can you adopt an adult? Yeah. You could. Well, here's, who's the second oldest? I'm the oldest, obviously.

Who's the second oldest? All right, so me and Patrick have to get married and adopt you. I think that's the only way it legally works. Can you? You could probably, let one second. Even then, even then who's our other two, dude? What are we getting? First of all, your uncle?

Kevin Rudolph, Little Wayne? I mean, is that what we have to do? I mean, whatever, man, I'll do it. crazy well that's the other thing because what if we get wait wait wait wait wait wait wait what if we got like steve Harvey's kids it's just like that he hasn't talked to he like turns around assume he hasn't talked to his kids because that would be a funnier reveal is he turns around to pitch him the question of what's the best sex you ever had thing and he turns around it's his damn daughter and he starts crying yeah and we say talk about a

family feud yeah true This family's not very good. We win by default. We could start a family feud. Yeah, I think we would have been better on at midnight, personally. I mean, eventually they're going to run out of celebrities that want to be on family feud, and then they're going to come to us for celebrity family feud. I don't know, man.

Last night I was watching it. They were doing one republic. If they're at one republic, like, I mean, there's an endless level of one republic level. No, don't, no, you don't you see it. That means they're getting there. One republic? Right, actually. Who's the people they would do right before us, though?

Numa Numa guy? No. No? No, we should get, but we should scout him for our team. Gary Larson? Gary Larson? No, it's Gary Ralsma. No, Gary Larson, I mean, would he be right before us?

He would not go on that. I think he would be pretty far before us. But he's hard to get also because he has a secret identity. Yeah, he had Lou Gehrick's disease. He killed himself. I think he's alive, right? No. Gary Larson's dead?

I think he's alive. I'm pretty better say no. I'm Googling it right now. Oh, I was thinking of... Yep, he's alive. I was thinking of Gary Clarkson. Yeah, I was thinking of Blary Blarsen, actually. A dead guy, I know.

Yeah, I know him because I know him because he famously died in my neighborhood. Yeah, he's a super dead guy. No, I was just thinking of him. My bet. Yeah. No, but I think that it'll be many, many years. But also, they keep making these new celebrities.

Like, we're never going to get on. We're going to become celebrities. First of all, all, all, all, all these new celebrities, I've got to know who Mort Saul is. I mean, come on. I mean, by next year, I'm going to be a superstar, too. I don't know if we brought that in, took that into account. I'm just going to get really famous by performing. Oh, that's really gorgeous to me.

Yeah, superstars tend to, you know, do a lot of performance, maybe. I mean, there could be some music involved, but I mostly mainly will focus on stardom. You think you're going to be, like, Lily and G. Gish level famous, you think that you're going to have, like, a... I don't know who that is, but I'll be basically superstar level famous, which is I would put on the level of, like, BTS if they're one person or, like, the president. You think you got a Lon Cheney movie in you? I don't know if you're trying to make fun of me right now, but I will be a superstar.

You could be the first guy who's just normal famous for no reason. Oh, yeah, yeah, okay, Cameron, Mr. Al Jolson over here. Oh, yeah. This guy thinks he's Buster Keaton. Oh, my God. Yeah. Hey, check out the big balls on fucking T.W. Griffith over here. He's trying to fucking...

I don't know if that's the one that you want to be... That guy was... I think he was naughty. Yeah. He was very... You know, now that you say, Austin Powers is a good reference point to how famous I'm going to be. Yeah. When I'm a superstar.

As famous, if not more famous. I remember when he started doing a game show and a, in a... Oh, yeah, yeah, dude, Tommy... That was so scary, dude. God, what was the name of the fucking character? It was like Tommy something. It was like the gong show and Tommy Maitland. Ugh.

That disgusted me, dude. Yeah. It's just like, I mean... Also, if you're gonna dress up, just do Shrek. Like, just do it as Shrek. Right. I do respect, like, the thing of Mike Myers' created. like a fake British guy

because he thinks England is funny I think his mom was British or so shit. Oh, right, yeah, because he's from Canada, which, like, for some reason like, Canadian people will have the most insane like hyphenated like British

last name. Yeah. A lot of like McDonald's, like McDonald's, like, McDonald's, something like that. I don't think there's a McDonald's query. If there was a McDonald's If there was a McDonald's in the quarry

I might eat it if I was hungry Yeah Hell I'd eat McDonald's anywhere Even the quarry Yeah Yeah I'd go underground for McDonald's I would totally Oh my god

They should open an underground McDonald's I guess that's just like one in like a subway or something I drive one in a cave They should right Cave McDonald's Have it drip You have it have it Instead of it's dripping water

You could put some damn Diet Coca Cola to drip Yeah what about like a Stalactites and the stalactites and the stalagmites. A Coke freestyle machine that has a stalagmite on it. That might be a fucking genius idea, dude. And the chairs and tables could be like rocks.

And I'd drive my Chrysler to get some fries there. Yeah? Mm-hmm. I'd drive right over there that you'd get some fries in my Chrysler. Yeah. Absolutely. I mean, I'd pull up there in my portion and have me saying, oh, my gorse. Get my Subaru to get some food for you.

That's the one I said earlier. I stole it. Why, you can't steal it. I'd get my I'd go to olive garden in my in my VW bug and I'd eat there too Yeah

I mean I'd drive my stick shape To get some Breed sticks Yeah Mm, breed sticks I should get a mini cooper Maybe that'll be my next car

Yeah you get a mini cooper Because you want to eat a mini pooper Yep Yeah and you want a mini scoop them In your mouth No I just It's too easy at this guy. No, I don't want to eat poop.

I don't want to eat poop at all. Hey, Caleb, I'm going to ride my ATV. You will be on ATV. Yeah, because I'll be so famous. Because you'll be dead. No. You don't just get on TV when you're dead. Oh, dude, well, this is unrelated.

But I was going at my grandma's house going through like old shit because she's just so ready to die. She's just hawking shit at me all the time. And so she was like showing me all, like, her, like, photos and all this shit, newspaper clippings and stuff. And that my, apparently my mom, when she was a kid, was on the front page of a Charlotte newspaper

because she was on a playground when she was four, and she went upside down. Yo! And there was an entire news story with a bunch of pictures of my mom hanging upside out on monkey bars, and it was like, this brave little tyke decided to go upside out. And I was like, dude.

What the fuck was the newspaper used to be? It's like a real... There's like stuff about the Cold War four pages in. And the front page is like, some kid went upside down on the monkey bars. More on page six. What do you mean? She fell asleep and went upside down.

Like... No, she... No. I didn't say anything about it. What are you talking about? What the fuck? Did you just read the word fell asleep when you were looking at something else while he was talking?

There's just a bunch of... And I asked my grandma, I was like, why the hell was this in the news? news. She was like, I don't know, some guy, some news guy with a camera just started, like, taking photos over what she was at the playground. Oh, no. And there's a guy, I'm actually a reporter that's for a news story. I was like, I wouldn't believe that ever, dude. Like a fedora that just says press on it. And he, uh, he's just like taking pictures of children. And he's like, ha, great story today. Yeah. And he's like, you don't understand. She's going in the news,

man. She's upside down. God. Yeah, it just, it amazed me, dude. Is that, like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I feel like I would have been, could have been the most famous guy of all time in the, in the, like, 70s. Yeah. If that's how, how, dude, you know how, you know what I would have done? Next week, put a story, kid hangs right side up on the monkey bars. Exactly, dude.

Or same, been, same kid hanged, caught, caught hanging. That same kid, upside down hanger, yeah. Hanging right side up. Yeah. I mean, come on, dude. Switching sides on us. Man, I'm still looking at pictures of Tommy Mane.

Maitland. I bet you are. I'm looking, he wrote, like, a whole fucking backstory for Tommy Maitland. What does that mean? Like, he has, like, a... Like, a whole story. What's the story, dude? I don't want to, like, it...

I don't want to read this. Like, Kim Jong-un, like... I don't want to read this on the pod, you know? It's like a whole... It's a whole page. It's a whole Wikipedia page for this fucking... So you're just going to say it's very interesting, but we're not going to read it. He was on a game show in England called You Still Got No Proof.

That's kind of funny. Yeah. All right. Yeah, I guess that is just a piece of comedy of fake guys' story. Yeah. Yeah, not much there for us, huh? Right. It's just like, that show lasted one season.

He was like, I'm going all in. Yeah, gong show. Bringing back the gong show, dude, that was brave. Yeah. Who would have thought that would only last one season? man, it makes no sense to me. Did it? I think it might have lasted.

No. That probably was the most amazing pitch meeting ever. Just like, hey, you remember that show from like the 70s that like everybody loved and probably was like insanely racist? What if we brought it back and had a, just an imaginary claymation guy hosted that was played by Austin Powers? Would that be good? Oh, it lasted two seasons. Hey, good for that, dude. Yeah.

Good for the gong show. Yeah, I think two seasons is the new. I'm cutting this off where it's starting the list I don't want to hear about this anymore I'm done somebody somebody's about to get gonged

yeah dude I don't know what that means I don't know what show you're talking about I don't want to hear about it so I think you got kicked off the show right now I am going to wronged you you are cranky today

because I am going to become a superstar because I am the best killer of all time against Caleb are you serious I'm serious I just got the I just got an email with that means I hate to say I'm going to kill you

Like instantly right now So Yeah All right Today's list Is top ten things boys like Can you send this to me? Yeah

Here, wait I'll resend it in the chat Here Sorry somebody decided to show up late Can you send this to me In private No I mean I can send you my personal list later

Okay But He he He he It's just a list of all your favorite Transformers. StarSream. StarSream, jazz. Mine would be...

Number one, the hat with a bee on it. Number two, a shirt with funny letters on it. Number three, mustache that maybe is a little patchy in one place. Can't tell in the sunlight, not sure. Who is number four? Wait, this is just Patrick. Bright orange. Mike cover.

Number five is named Lawrence. I was talking about a different guy. I know that guy, Lawrence? Yeah. Number one on the list is women. That's not true for a lot of guys. Here's the top comment. There's actually gay guys in the world I found out recently.

The top comment here is from AeroMax 777 and is, I may not be capable of loving a girl, but let us face it, some things can't be resisted, and my English teacher said, all boys are maniacs when it comes to this. What a maroon. What is the, is he not capable of love or of making love? I don't know. Not capable of love. That's how I'm choosing to read it.

Yeah, me too. I'm choosing to read it that way. Yeah, I mean, hard to argue with this one, dude. Get a girl in a, in a bikini. I mean, I'm going to, I'm going to va-va-voom. I'm going to rubber duck my lips. I'm going to make myself go absolutely. Uly Hog Wild going

eyes popping out. I don't... I don't do that. Really? No. Dude, tell me that you don't... Only for the woman I love. Tell me that you don't

when you're walking around in Target see one of those fat-ass mannequins in a bikini. And you just go stupid crazy. I mean, I go wild for the clothes. I wish a mannequin is... I wish a mannequins would wear a little girl. I've gone into the...

into the target after Caleb and I've walked around the store and every single mannequin has a piece of paper with his phone number written on it slipped into its hand. Dude, I've got to be prepared in case it's a night of museum type situation and they come alive at night. I might get a text at 2 in the morning

from the Target phone, Target security line. From the intercom. Yeah. It's a, hey, it's the plus size mannequin. Yeah, and it says can opener, $5.K.U. Code. I don't know, man.

You've got to be prepared. I mean, you know. Seriously, mannequin in a bikini. I'm going to lose my mind, dude. Met Fan, O-O-1. All men should vote for this except gay men. It's true. Trying to look one since I have autism.

That wasn't Cameron reading. That was just him saying it. I think it will be cool to have a family of your own. Oh, that's so nice. Lover 99 comments Boys rule girls drools So true False I am a dude but do not

Find girls interesting at all Am I the only one? Yes Yes you are I'd like to see any girl in bikini Just discovered gay people Yeah I didn't have to Is there a collective of men Who I don't know

Would like a relationship with another man Someone said You have to admit she is hot. Who is a woman in the... I don't know, a woman. This was... Oh, shit, I just realized you could click on the pictures. I'm a boy, but I don't...

But I don't like girls. I hate that. You click on the pictures and it says added... This one... This picture of this woman was added by Mood 333 on April 8th, 2016. I mean, she's in a beautiful bikini. This comment says... I'm reporting this image.

Just says, yes. And it's from Beatles fan, 1964. This just says, I'm a... I'm a boy, but I don't like girls. I hate they. Reason is, if you jokes, they are angry. And Boris Ruhl says, kind of sex is my mate.

I really do not think that people should be talking about that stuff in public. They should only be talking about that as appropriate for wherever they are, even at home. What, I'm a girl, and it's just weird that boys like. RC cars, fishing, fixing things, getting chickens. Here, let me read the sequence of comments here. Sure. Good. Yep. I love girls. That's from Ethan Wakeman. It is true. I love girls. True. Sex. So true.

I really do not think that people should be talking about that stuff in public. They should only be talking about... Oh, my bet. You fucking idiot. I'm going to go to Subaru, get some food for you. They're hot. Sex. Number two is sports. Yep. Um, um, um, um, I don't know. Some of us actually like the written word.

Yeah, thank you. Some of us actually like the theater. Somebody are, some of us guys are actually Thespians. Do you ever think for a second there's some men who just like looking up pictures of devil online? Yeah, those are the guys who belong in solitary confinement. But like, I don't, you know, some guys just don't like sports. They just like looking up really realistic drawings of the devil. So it's kind of an inaccurate idol.

And screaming and hiding under the bed. Well, we're just looking at them and being like, Well, maybe one day. So you never thought about that. I don't know, maybe one day. Just watch your back. That's all I got to say. Guys love football.

If you asked 100 guys if they liked football, 95 out of 100 would say, yes, they love football. Every Sunday, somebody's always talking about football. Give my point, football is always drilled into boys' minds. True. Yep. Yeah, yeah. And tell you what, they're drilling each other's minds on the damn, on the football field. A lot of these guys have actual head injuries.

Something called CTE. Look this up. Suicide and kill their families. I wouldn't say, I wouldn't say drilling football into somebody's head is a very good thing to say. Yeah. Here's a comment here. I'm a 10-year-old girl, and I like to skateboard too, but I have a brother named that's 13, and he is the one that taught me how to skateboard, so most boys like skateboarding.

That's true. I like swimming. That's fun. Sometimes running. I am not very good at football, probably because I am Mexican. Who doesn't lobe football? I ran. What's there not to love about it?

I think it's really cool, and I am a girl of seven boy brothers. I hate sports, except for baseball. I'm a boy. I wrestle my brother all the time. So fun, I love it. I'm on the football team. Hell yeah, they obsessed Sports is a boy's life, dude

That's the truth, man Dude, what would I do that much? There's a comment on this one that says I don't like women I don't like sport I'm not a gamer really I'm not fat, I hate wrestling I don't listen to rap

Cars are okay but I'm not a car guy And I also don't use a TikTok So I'm so Unique That's what that's me when I meet anybody new That's what I just rave off everything right away I don't like cars Yeah I don't like

Here's all you need to know about me Yeah And I don't have a tip-tog I'm not a gamer really I'm not fat I hate wrestling A lot of boys like Tootball So I agree

I agree I'm a girl But ball is life Truth. Wow. Much respect, dude. That's like a, dude, that's insane. A girl who likes sports? Yeah. I feel like I'm in fever pitch right now. No, no, she doesn't like sports. That's the thing. She likes sports at the end, though. Yeah, she likes, she runs on the field. You don't know anything about fever pitch. Are you shitting me? You don't know anything about fever pitch with Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore. I know so much about that. No. Yes. No.

they sing that they play that song It's Not Over When it's like It's not over And she's running on the field And then He names his daughter Carlo Yostremski

At the end of the movie You know personally Because I'm a man I mostly remember The hits in the home runs In that one You know I have a cut of that movie

That's just the sports stuff Yeah No reactions No story at all I just watch it like a game It's called the 2004 World Series Yep But with different camera angles

What a great world series it was Every world series is great to me, dude Yeah Yeah Even when it's bad Even when it's fucking terrible, dude I don't think I've ever watched The World Series

I saw the World Series When I was like four On TV Three or four No six Five six I just can't care about baseball To me baseball is

Baseball is like a restaurant 16. 11th of 13, 14, 14, 15, 16. No. 17. I think I was. 18. How old?

19, you were 23? I think I saw the World Series when I turned. No, that was it. 21. I think, no, you know, another thing about it. Maybe it was when I was one, two. I think I've never seen it. Number three is video games.

Yep. I mean, I can attest to this, dude. Uh, yeah. Yeah. Yep. I know, boys, do you know games, like games, and there's mostly boys on Roblox? Boys really like Roblox. I know, boys, do you?

I said that. I just said that, motherfucker. Superuru food for you. Minecraft is almost as good as lesbian porn. The Wii took it. from number four to number three. This game is very addictive and kids will play for five to six hours. This game, video games.

I'm a tomboy and I love Roblox. I think they do this all the time. Not all boys are teenage nerds. Oh, falls back into the crowd. This one says, your mom, noob. And then there's a reply that says, seriously, dude? This game is really fun. Lots of boys love this game.

Assassins? Minecraft takes away your social life, family, friends, and sense of reality. There is no other game that can do it as good as this game. P.S. This is a cheaper alternative to hard drugs and will get any child hooked within minutes. Good luck out there. Like, good luck out there at the end makes it really sinister.

Good look out there, bud. Why is girls on this list? I hate e-girls. They're mean city. Ciciously, I believe, is what they were going for. Cetiously. Cetiously. I like how, sorry, I just want to say, I like how on every single one under women, there is always a comment of someone saying.

I hate women. Regardless of what it is, it has nothing to do with it. They're always like, I just hate women. Yeah. I feel like that's a good indication that women should not be number one. Number four is one that hits really deeply for me personally

and I think maybe you guys too Number four is music Music is so powerful to me Yeah it just changes like The way that You know it just like It changes it changes like silence into song Well I recently

I recently read a study And this is true I recently read a study That they Scientists claim that music Can actually change your perspective Yeah I actually I did

I actually did a study recently where yeah it actually um that if i listen to death core while i'm washing the dishes i can nod my head with the music is my study i was actually really interesting yeah my hypothesis was actually scientifically um was in the study part was part of the process i recently did a study too to see if i could jack off to s and m by riana and we're waiting on the results so you have to grade these things with the curve you're doing it now uh well Well, we're looking for the results. Yeah, you know, the results are still on the way.

The results are being processed. How long has the study been going on? We've been going on for about six years now that I've been trying to get the results from this. And so far it's inconclusive, but there's a lot of hope that this could help people in dire medical situations. That sounds like a really intensive study. Yeah, it takes up a lot of time. It takes up tons of time for me. You know, this has become a full-time gig for me is doing this study.

and I'm going to be publishing stuff, so watch out. I'm going to be publishing a lot of stuff, so you better watch out. Here's a comment here. The iPod shot it onto the list. That's so true, dude. I mean, music was probably not going to be on this list at all, but then the iPod came out. Hello, my people that are crazy. I might get my brother some music for Christmas.

Oh, that's so sweet. I mean, name a better Christmas gift than music. Hello, my people. I ain't going to get my brother. Some music for Christmas, dude. It's so nice. I mean, here's it that you, it's Christmas morning, right? You get all these stupid shit gifts from Santa Claus.

You got a Nerf gun, a VR headset, but then your brother hands you one special box. You open it up, music. There's music in there. It changes your whole perspective. And it can actually scientifically change your entire perspective, so it's a thing to look out for it. Here's the last comment on music says, Wrong. I put in what do boys like, not what do guys like.

True. Here's a comment. I like Bith music and cricket. I'm transgender, born a girl, but's moving to be a guy, and I love music. That's so nice. Yeah. I like music a lot, especially alternative rock and rap. I also like some electronic. I don't really care about the others. Dark Boy X.

Whoa. We've seen Dark Boy X before. We did, yeah. That is a familiar name. One of the top comments is most beautiful thing in the world right now. So true. Well, that's true because it's hard to find beauty in this damn messed up world right now. Until they come out with the next thing after music,

it's going to be the most beautiful for a while. Yeah, they tried it with tunes for a little bit. Yeah. It didn't work. Before, I mean, before it was music, I think it was like flowers maybe was the most beautiful thing in the world. Yeah. And then they moved on to symphonies, and then they found music quite far after.

that yes i believe so yes i concur yes that was actually part of my study as well that i was doing on the history of beauty and music and um science and history yeah i'm working on like a million studies right now yeah i actually just doing a study about i've been doing this like social experiment study about like you know if you could like have two friends that like are your best friends and like how that would play out like long term i'm really into social experiment studies I'm doing one that's called Can You Eat a Sandwich in the Hood? And I've been doing that one

for a lot of days recently. How are the results looking on that one? Kind of nothing so far. I'm kind of waiting for somebody to ask me to leave the hood. I'm trying to recreate one of those videos where someone does something crazy and that guy's like, can you just please leave the hood if you're going to do this crap?

Right? Like we're in the hood right now. Can you not be doing this crap right now? I actually was conducting a study recently to see how many times the same guy would come and pee on the dumpster outside my window in the same night. No, it's actually a new different guy, and I actually just received the results a few nights ago. It's two times, is the number of times within like 20 minutes that the same guy came and peed right outside my window.

I would like to publish those results. No, I'll be publishing them myself. I don't think, I mean, you have a history of stealing intellectual properties. I think I might steal that next, actually. Oh, you're going to steal intellectual property, the concept of it. Yeah. Oh, that's actually genius, dude. That is, oh.

You kind of get everything. Steal the idea of copyright. Yeah. Yeah, you're stealing my intellectual property. Uh, no, buddy, I own intellectual property. I think I get all of this crap. Yeah. So, actually, I stole it.

I stole copyright. I went to the bank where it's held. I went to Fort Knox, and I stole copyright. That's true. Are you jealous? Uh, uh, Number five is dogs. Dude, I hate dogs so much.

Yeah. I like my dog, but every other dog, if it got cut in half, I'd say that's pretty funny. Wouldn't care, dude. Wouldn't care even a little bit, bro. I cried with my Labrador died, and I'm a man. Ironic? Not really. When people post photos of their dogs online, I'm just like, dude, what are you doing, man?

Yeah, I agree with Beam 456 here, who says, I hate dog. They are totally disgusting. I think that's completely right. Exactly. I mean, I think, well, again, I'd like to, I mean, yeah, my dog is my man's best friend, but I think beyond that, I mean, most other dogs, you could. Your man's best friend? Yeah, you got a man. Yeah, it's me.

No, that ain't your man. You guys don't have a man because you're girls, and you're, you, I don't think this is true. I don't think this is true. Bro, I have a Rottweiler, he's adorable. That's a different breed. Adorable? I got a Rottweiler, he's an adorable. Yeah, Adorbles are a completely different breed.

That's a cross between Doberman and a marble. Yeah. Drey Top Ten's comments. Girls, too. Underdogs. Number six. Oh, my God. You can't make this shit up.

Number six is sex. Excuse me. Six, sex. What are we doing here? Yeah. You know? Kids in general, don't stop talking about. about sex

go to my school and they act like they're a 20 year old or something you're 12 you're not a adult it makes me laugh but it's really annoying too you know I gotta I'm with him yeah me too yeah stop talking about this crap dude I'm sick oh my god

it's so disgusting when somebody's like horny yeah you like it though I hate it yeah I'm gonna put you in a big polka dot bikini oh I hope not I'm gonna put you in a little tiny big polkaid up bikini And I'm going to make it as small as possible.

It's going to barely cover your nipples. Oh, my God. And then I'm going to make you do the jumping challenge. What's the jumping challenge? You mean, you've got to jump a bunch. The slow motion jumping challenge. Okay. The slow motion bikini cable jumping challenge.

Yeah. It's a new challenge. I actually just created it as a study. No, I've basically been doing the bikini study. So I did the study version of it. No, I've been doing the study on bikinis and how tight they can possibly get for about a thousand years now. Let me read this comment here. Yeah.

Damn, all these hot chicks around the world are making me horny. That's very close to the conclusions that I've come to in the study as well. Yeah. You shouldn't ask someone if they want. That's my abstract at the top of the study. Damn, all these hot chicks around the world are making me horny. You shouldn't ask someone if they want sex with you online because you are a stranger and it is no for everyone. Here's a comment

All the boys in my school Don't stop talking about it though Or don't stop talking about it Though nowadays everyone is into that True Seems like nowadays everyone's into sex Always on their mind 70% of the time

Yep I had sex in pre-K Laugh out loud Oh my I think you're in trouble buddy I am a boy And I do not like that Sex is evil

Yep I don't know I'm 11 Beatles fan 1964 There you go Beatles fans got the right idea The school that I go to

Black Butte The kids do not Stop talking about sex It is like You're 10 to 12 Not 26 And in a girl Who is 12

And I know what it feels like With boys talking about sex About it Sometimes it scares me this one is terrifying I like sex I want to do it in real life

I know how babies are made and I'm just 10 I want to suck them I don't remember I don't remember I don't remember being like this when I was a kid. Me neither.

I was, I liked Master Chief, and I, that is what I was into. I want to suck. Doesn't specify what that could possibly be. Number seven, money. Yep. Hey, heard that. Yes, sir. What's not to like about this crap, right?

God, I love money, dude. Money is definitely the one to vote for. these guys at school are totally in the money. I am a girl and a tomboy. I think I should know. No money on food, no money on girls, no money on telly, no money on games. Please put on top of the list.

I don't trust tomb boys, man. I think Tom boys are girl spies. I trust Tom boys. I don't trust Tom boys. I know so many guys named Tom. So many boys named Tom. Unless you know a lot of boys. Tom, no shit.

Money is not everything, and most people who love money are bratti. True. This is the actual order. Most boys who love money are batty. This is the actual order. Parents, money, food like chicken, sports, video games, clothes, population, like being popular.

Games. Girls didn't make it to the list because most 99% are annoying, 65% are ugly. Did this? It wasn't food like chicken. It's food like chicken. Like, it's chicken that's food like Parents at number one, dude

That's a violation, dude Yeah, not right What the fuck This should be number the first Because no money, no girl No money, no games No money, no cheese, no money no sex Got it, Stiles X

Stop saying anything about sex My eyes need bleach so much One of the worst comments on the site Number eight is movies Here's a comment from Beatles fan in 1964, who said they were 11. So you just keep that in mind with this. All right.

Particularly, the original Star Wars trilogy, Batman movies, and Quentin Tarantino movies. I'm a dude and I like movies. Is there a more perfect sentence in the universe than I'm a dude and I'm a dude and even I like movies, man? Yes, sir.

Movies are fun. They're even more fun if you're sitting next to your crush. I hate that, actually. I hate my crush. I hate, dude, my crush is looking at my crush so much. Can you stop looking at my fucking weenie and watch the damn movie, dude? Stop cutting a tube out of the popcorn. Stop shaking your- The popcorn's falling out of the hole. You have to, the hole. You're supposed to put the hole in before the popcorn. This is a disaster. Why did you cut this hole in this popcorn so we could eat it some weird freak away? I'm not going to put my tongue in that hole if that's what you're trying to get me to do. You seriously want me to eat popcorn like this? What are you doing, dude? Dude.

Women are crushes are so stupid. Number nine is food. Chez for the win. Chez is my Bible. I eat Chez. I eat tacos. I like tacos lots. Tacos consist of a mixture of meat, salsa, lettuce, tomato, and a whole lot of other stuff.

I don't think it's a lot other stuff than that. I think they kind of got all the ingredients. Beals fan 1964 is here too and says, me and your boyfriend should be best friends. My cousin is nicknamed the conveyor belt. He loves food. The conveyor belt. Oh.

My brother likes pickles, and so do I, but I'm a girly girl. Wow. I was eating cheese when I saw this. Why is this year? Both genders seem to like cheese a lot. Lots of these things are of Icarly. True. Very true.

Number 10 is taking it full circle here. Yeah. Number 10 is cars. I do love cars, man. Here's a comment. Car toy tiny with a plays son. My play son. My.

It just feels like it's written by a baby, but it's about somebody with a... That was a tiny guy jumping from key to key on the keyboard. Yeah, there's too hard to get all the way to the backspace. Car toy tiny with a play son. Yes, even the ons that can't drive, not being sexist at all. Sexes. S-E-X-U-S. Yeah.

I think they're trying to spell Lexus. Yeah. If I ever get a car, the boys will come running to you, and they might want to make out. Ugh. Ugh. Number 11 other boys. Yeah. I mean, what?

Heck yeah. Takes one to no one. Top comment. Yeah, okay, go ahead, sorry. Takes one to no one and appreciate the male similarity, and the secret knowledge of the power of the peen is something any boy can relate to. The secret knowledge of the power of the peen.

Wait, you don't know the secret knowledge? You don't know it? I'm... Yeah, I know the secret knowledge. So, like, say the first secret knowledge, then. Ah, you can get a... Sometimes you look at the TV, get a strong penis. Yep.

Okay, he knows. knows. He's got it. That's a first step, right? Get some strong penis from watching TV too much. Okay, well, when you put too much in there, I'm thinking maybe you're starting to deviate from what the knowledge is. I think you might be... Secret knowledge.

You can push it in really far, like farther than you ever thought you could, and you can show your friends how far it goes into your body. So here's a comment. You never done that? You never shoved it in and make it look like a second belly button? I don't think mine is small enough to do that. Mine neither. I haven't done that either.

I was trying to fool you into saying that you have instead. Okay. It's true that boys... It's true that boys like other boys, but that is called gayness, my people. Just no. No. My friends, yes, says Beatles fan, 1964. Wow.

I'm bisexual so I can agree with this It's true Okay but now read a comment Oh my god Are you guys serious dude but you really haven't ever Tried to like like fold your skin over your wiener To make it look completely disappeared so it looks like you only have your balls there It's ever been a second belly button kind of level

Yeah I don't think like an outy belly button deal But like maybe I just have a ton of space I tucked it around the back and made it look like I got it For yours is probably just, like, big enough that you can do that. Yeah, exactly big enough. Yeah, that's what I mean. It's probably like... You have to have a big enough one to do that.

Exactly, yeah. I tucked it around the back, put it in my butt. You put it in your butt. Yeah, you don't do that. In your, like, in your butt hole or just your cheeks? Just to make, like, if you're wearing, like, tight pants, make them fit better. You're tucking your penis? Into my butt.

You're tucking your... Like in the cheeks or... the hole the hole the hole that's a i've never done that i can't i don't think i can do that i can make it disappear go other way inside my body yeah yeah maybe i still going inside you just push it until it touches your bone and it's pretty hard to go past that bone the bone that's behind your wiener you're touching your bone well you push your wiener so far into your body that it touches a bone like a hip bone like your pelvis i don't know whatever Bones behind your fucking wiener.

I don't know. I'm not a doctor. You just a bone back there. Dude, feel right now. There's a bone there. Dude, I'll push mine in right now. Look at this, dude. Don't show it.

Just touching my bone right now. I can do it under my pants. I'm like an expert at this at this point, dude. That's what I would do if somebody, if some sort of villainous monster was like, I'm going to cut off your penis. I would shoot it. Oh, somebody already got to me. Yeah, don't make me move my finger, but I don't make me move my finger, but I don't have one and they go I'm sorry and then they move on to you two and you guys be like oh I wish

I could hide my ginormous penis because this man's about to cut it off I wish that I had listened to Caleb and practiced for years and then you then you will be sorry I just noticed Caleb's soon name yeah is that your brother's account my little brother's account I'm on yeah whole family's in the house right now that's why I'm being mighty quiet that's I could change it I I guess. Oh, boy. I don't want to mess his shit up, though. Number 22, it's porn.

Oh. Yuck. Everybody did once right. I'm 13, and I still masturbate. Still. Number 31 is the color pink, and here's the top comment. Pink was actually a boy's color, and blue was for girls, before Adolf Hitler came to power. He used pink patches and clothing to label gay and insane men.

After the war, pink was not considered a boy's color, and vice versa, the feminine blue. Wow. So they're saying this is like a Republicans freed the slaves type situation. Exactly. But pink is actually the boy color. Yes. Oh, that's pretty cool. Boves is on here.

Number 34 is destroying things. And all the comments here are so good. I think that when you destroy things, that you feel like you can conquer the world. I love to destroying things. Am I a tomboy? Yep, a crushing room would be awesome Wait, number 33 is The number seven

The first comment is Just plain lucky Internet Popularity Fights, I guess that's true I guess guys do like to fight Especially me because I'm like amazing at it Strip clubs

It's weird that boys like girls dancing on a pile It's mean and very sexist to us, girls. Number 43 is playing. The comment here is very good and good. Number 44 is light. Lights are very helpful. Lights are awesome. Number 49 is glow in the dark.

Because they are basically with the girl in the dark together. True. Oh. Number 54 is polygamy. Yep. For now. For now. For now.

For now. And that's a comment. from Crazy Rabbits Squit. Number 55 is parks, and someone says, some boys just love to hang out with their mates in the park. And also go down to the local chippy afterwards. Number 59 is polygony. Which is a misspelling of polygamy.

Oh, I think that's a different thing, isn't it? No. Number 60 says toys, and someone says, I like them a lot. To be honest, 23 of these are on my bed. Oh, wait, polygony is... Yeah, it's a different thing. What's polygony? the same thing. It's, or it's,

polygony is, is a man who has multiple wives, and then I think polygamy, if I'm correct, is just like, is like either gender, like having more than one wife or husband. Like, polygony is specifically for having wives. Call it whatever

you want, you're still going to hell. That's right. Yeah. And jail. And jail. And also Caleb jail, which is my own personal jail that I put freaks into. It's basically a hole. Yeah, and then the last one here Is the number 62 Swearing

Fuck no Come on, man Are you serious That's how you want to end this fucking thing This thing Is with that crap Yeah, you guys better shut your Damn mouth

Tee Tee I push my penis so far back That it touches my ass Tee T's it touches my ass My Ss ass My asses ass And I got S-H-I-T on my T-I-T-I-T of my PIN.

I fuck the hole where my penis used to be T-H-T-T-E-T-ee. Say the word as, but hold the tip of your tongue. My computer froze right with you and T. It's just what, D-R. Okay. Ath. All right.

All right. Bye. Bye.