Podcast About List - Ep. 157 - Mater from Cars. Absolute moron

Episode Date: August 11, 2021

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You're listening to Israel's number one podcast. Podcasts to the ball list. You're any crap monster. Ording. Back to it, dude. All three. Back. Yeah.

Back. Back. I'm back. Back. I'm back. Back. And we're back, back, back. And we are back.

And we are back. And we are back. We just don't stop that we're back. And we never stop being. Back, back, back in the shack, recording back in the shack, recording back in the shack, the shack of, in, um, microphone, say stack, say stack right now. Stack of microphones. Oh, shit.

Okay. Okay. But, I, back, at, at, oh, I, back, I got the track, I got crack, I got lack, I got smack a back, a pack, a back attack, pack, a back attack, a rack attack, a jack, a big sack of rats. I got a, I got a back attack in me, a slacked. And then I got the crack. Okay, go, Pat, Pat, go, go, go. And we're back in the one time, uh, in the track on the three tracks of audio, me, Cameron, Caleb, three tracks, not two tracks. Three tracks.

Three tracks, not two tracks. Three tracks, not two tracks. Can we do like a slow down my voice like, three tracks, not two tracks? Uh-huh. We could do that. We have the, yeah, we're like audio people. Yeah. All right.

Act, back, cack, dack, yak, yak, fact. Do you remember I don't know if I should say his name but there was like a comic in Boston who was also like a rapper we probably actually talked about pretty early on in the show there was like a comic in Boston

who got like in trouble for sending like Shane Hoban? Yeah Oh yeah Did you ever listen to this rap? You were talking about You sent a clip of his rap Dude it was fucking amazing

There's like a part in this song He repeated I'm a sex offender I'm a sex offender Yeah and then it's slows down while he's saying that. And he goes, I'm the sex offender. Crazy. Crazy that they, like, I don't know, there's that whole article about him

on, like, the Turtle Boy thing. I'm, God damn it. I'm giving fucking, like, I know it's already online, but, like, I probably shouldn't say it. Dude, he's going to shoot that old time. He's going to shoot that revolver at you with the sniper scope on it. God, I'm actually... You're about to be, you're about to have that red dot

right on your head. Yeah. For context, this guy owns a gun, but it is a... He sent a photo of it to another comedian it's a it's like a like a revolver we've definitely posted pictures of the gun yeah we have to yeah it's the best gun picture of all the funniest gun ever has a giant like scope on it like it's it's holding it and he has like just like he has like yellow shit under all his fingernails too it's literally a gun that you would make in war zone that would be like yeah like people would be like this gun's overpowered for one week and then

it would get nerfed it's the exact same look it's so cool just have he can kill me instead dude I don't give a fuck. That guy's a pussy. Wow. Yeah. And he's fat. I don't know if I go that far. And he's fat.

And I will battle rap. Him attack back to back. Say his line. You got to say his line. I'm a sex offender. I'm a sex offender. That's all this was leading up to. I got Caleb.

I'm actually sex. I mean, so you said it first, Patrick, and you said it more times. No. Yeah, you did. I'm a sex defender. I defend women from sex. Oh. What?

women having sex that's disgusting yeah i'm like a defensive lineman right guy goes in for a kiss i just fucking check him dude yeah yeah not today and then she gets mad and i say but what if it had actually gone really bad yeah i'm like a like a tomb guardian type thing yeah like i come to life when i hear that telltale noise what's the telltale noise sex noise oh oh like the sound of the chastity belt hitting the floor

The lock, the big padlock on the chastity belt Yeah Do you guys ever get like Feel your chassis belt like rides up a little bit I hate it because like I'll go out and skate right And like I'll sweat And then like You're not even just the cage

Because I have the belt on in the cage Yeah So it's I mean It's just like the metal Going up against my sweaty thing No and it's it really sucks too I hate I hate fucking having to put the diaper over it Oh yeah

That's the second worst part yeah absolutely it's like just the you know it's it's so hard to clean because you get in the shower it's gonna get rusty i don't use a diaper i i put like a big corn husk over it oh like an empanada yeah yeah that's kind of my because also my private parts are very squishy like like like maza so i i do have to like kind of squish it together much like an impanata yeah so i'm kind of How does that are in... I'm kind of molding it. You're thinking of tamales.

Tamale. Yeah. Yeah. So, same of the tamilad. I was thinking that when you said it, but... I did not want to try and correct you on food. Also, the chastity belt tan line is, like, one of the most embarrassing things in the world. It's like a lightning bolt on your weirer.

That's the first thing. That's the first bad thing about it is the tan line. It's a tan line, dude. Because, like, and well, not that anybody knows because I wouldn't ever take it off, at least not until I'm married. But... Right. Not until I'm married the second time. The first marriage. I'm staying on.

Right. I mean, yeah, because, like, I know that that one's just going to be kind of just nothing to me. Yeah, it's, hey, it's called the first marriage for a reason. It's the first one. Exactly. I wouldn't call it your first marriage if you didn't, if you weren't going to have a second one. Exactly. So, with my first wife, I won't even take it.

I won't even let her look at my chastity. I pretend my chastity bill is my privates, and I won't let her look at them. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. My thing's been metal since I was born. Yeah. My thing's always been metal

Really? I mean, that's the other thing you got to, you have to, you know, with trends of sex changing, like the way people have sex changing, and like, you know, you got to wear a chassis belt and an assidy belt, because you never know when your wife's going to come at you from behind. That's fucking true as shit, actually. Yeah. That's a really good point.

An ass-tity belt. Yeah. How about his wife? Ass titty belt might be a really good Spencer's Gift idea that we can sell them. Yeah. That could be good, yeah. It's got ass and titties on it. Yeah.

And it's a belt. Yeah. Do you remember, like, in mid-2000s? That would be so sexual. When people were into, like, belt buckles? Yeah. What the fuck was that? People having belt buckles that spun and shit.

People have, like, that was sick. That's cool as fuck, dude. With a studded belt? Bring that back. Dude, I almost bought a studded belt buckle. I almost bought a studded belt. And then I didn't. Yeah.

Probably good that I didn't. Yeah, I don't think a studded belt is, is, I don't think it looked very good. on you these days. No. You know, it would look really good. A karate belt with a big cowboy belt buckle. Yeah. I think that could be a really good fashion look.

I think any type of karate items would look mazy. Yep. Look amazee on Meesee. They would look amazey on Uzi? They would look amazey on mezy. You really think these? Oh, I think Seas it looks amazee on mezies. That's good.

man yeah that's what i say but i my brother had one that was like a it like spun around and a karate belt yeah karate belt no he didn't have a karate belt i was the one who did karate okay what belt level did you just too and they thought that it would be i i was one under black belt getting no you weren't you were no you were no you were not no way in taekwondo it's called a bochidon no okay well it we're not talking about that show you said karate also yeah but i did Taekwondo... Not talking about that show with the karate in my brain. Come out of the cards.

Tell you what, I was not... The thing is about Taekwondo is it's just as... If you do, like... Like, if you do it for 18 months, you are a black belt. You don't have to, like, fight someone or be good at it. You just have to be, like, good at, like, saying, yes, sir. Right. And then they gave you...

I hadn't turned 13 yet, so they gave me a Bochudan instead of a black belt. Once you turn 13, you are, like... Have this, like, like, it's like a, it's like a, it's like a, a weapon license. Like, once you turn 13, then you can have the black belt. But before that, you have to have a provisional black bill. Yeah, exactly. It's like a learner's permit for being insanely gay every time you fight. Is it, like, if you are a black belt, is it karate that you have to, like, legally declare yourself a weapon?

You have to register your fist as a deadly weapon? That's not. That's not true. That's nothing. I think you saw, like, a Steven Segal movie where he says that. And you were like, yeah. That must be one of the rules of karate. That's probably one of the things that happens in karate. Probably one of the five pillars of karate.

You can tell me it's not true. I'm still going to believe it. Okay. Yeah. I mean, why would it matter to declare your hands as a deadly weapon? Does it mean you have to, like, conceal carry them or what? Yeah, keep it in your pockets. That's why, like, I don't understand.

Like, karate dorks always walk around with their hands in their jeans pockets. Exactly. Yeah. It's because they pull the mountain. their giant foam red hands. You're charged with a different crime if you kill somebody

and you know karate than if you don't know karate. Yeah, it's no longer manslaughter because there's no way you did it on accident. You're charged a second degree karate slaughter. Yeah. The only thing cooler than manslaughter.

It's crazy how cool of a word manslaughter is. Manslaughter? Yeah. Hey, art job is hearing man's laughter. hearing or making man's laughter

but we do it's comedy oh yeah yeah I mean that that would you would have been charged for that joke

for sure because that is that's some funny that's some funny shit that's some funny shit right there men are laughing right now oh yeah

that you think you could get away with that in court is like saying like no that you forgot to put a space there dude you know what that's I think the next big the next big

The next big, like, you know, improv theater scam where we can get a lot of money from people who want to go into the industry is, you know, a comedy training style school thing that uses karate-type belts and you have different belts and you... Like, maybe it's a roast thing. Maybe it's the school of roasting and you go, you have like roast tournaments.

Oh, shit. Can you imagine how many of those belts would be used to, like, accidentally kill themselves while trying to jack off with it? Yeah. Like, literally, that would be like a fucking... That's what I'm saying. ...aimic in Los Angeles, yeah. If it's improv, though, it would have to be, like, bow ties.

Yeah. Everyone's just walking around with, like, red bands around their neck. Yeah. They permanently cut off circulation. Yeah. All these freaks, you think roasting is, like, some high art. Yeah. That's the best, dude.

People who are, like, yeah, like, roasting. Like, that's the only real thing. It's going out and be like, what's up, fat guy? Where'd you get your pants? The fat-ass, pants-ass-ass-fuck-you store? Yeah, and it's like, what if there is a whole podcast dedicated to, like, people making fun of one person on it? Yeah, oh, could you imagine, like, people thinking, like, roasting one guy is funny? Yeah, well, I'll say, roasting one guy.

Yeah, that would be, like, roasting one guy who's, like, plays up his stupidity a little bit is, like, pretty funny if you do it for long enough. but, like, roasting a bunch of people is kind of messed up. But just, like, making fun of one single guy, I think is, like, probably okay, right? I think it's, like, I think it's probably really mean and unjust. And I think that if anybody knew of anything like that, they should, they should swarm the person who was roasted to make sure they're okay and make sure that they're in a healthy friendship. They should send a lot of messages and make a lot of social media posts.

And just make sure everything's right between the three or however many guys are doing whatever this thing is. And then, well, no, we can't make this. joke because I wasn't on the last two episodes so now it seems like we had a problem because my dad texted me and was like why aren't you on like the last two episodes? You need to set a fucking boundary

with your parents dude. They should not hear me right now. Yeah. No, my dad my dad said that he looks forward to it every Saturday morning and I was like oh well I can't tell him no. Tell him to watch football like a fucking real dad.

What is he doing dude? I don't know. Get into a fucking sport Have some He's got to have some extra Wood laying around Fucking build something On Saturdays Why you listen to your son

Fucking talk about shit Right Yeah Let your son Don't pay attention to your son I'm so glad My dad hates me dude He probably listen to the episode

With Tom Now that I'm thinking about it My dad listened to the episode With Tom because of the name So I kind of I was trying to torture the fans But I ended up I received my comeuppance

for that one. Yeah. And he loved it. He liked it too much. My dad said that someone asked him what I did. He was like, oh, he has a podcast, and they, like, found it somehow. And then they called him, and he was like, hey, I just listen to your son's podcast with my entire family and my kids in the car.

Why would they do that? I'm just going to tell you, don't listen to it. And he was like, all right, whatever. Wow. That's such a crazy. Somebody, who was that person to your dad? Was that just his friend? Oh, that was Snoopy Sarah.

She's a complete Snoop. Snoopy Sarah and her husband knows he Ned. But just imagine being like, all right, all right, kids. Like, we're going to listen to my friend's son's podcast on this car. It's great. You don't know him, but. No, it's like his oldest friend ever. And so his family was like, oh, let's listen to like, they know my dad, but I don't know them at all.

Well, they got it and they turned on the radio and they're like, you know what, no. We should be supporting the Pitts family today. That boy, that boy has always had something. wrong with them. Let's find out exactly what. They thought it was going to be a movie podcast. Poopy, poopy boobs. Yeah.

Apparently they called him and the guy was like, don't ever listen to that. You will not be proud. My dad was like, I fucking already knew that. Right. Pretty cool. Yeah. I mean, it's cool that your parents don't listen to it,

but I guess my parents just know everything that's ever happened to me now. Yeah, I guess that's pretty tough, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Do you feel like some stuff is off limits? You can't talk about your... Is that why you're so bashful?

Maybe. Is that why you're such a shy, bashful soul? That could be it. You're always hiding in your sweater and going, we actually hang out outside of this, and let me tell you, Patrick's parents, your son is an absolute dog. Yeah.

Something, I actually have never hung out with Patrick outside of recording the podcast. What do you mean? I'm an absolute dog. Come on, Pat. You're a dog on the loose. Don't lie to me. You know, yeah, I guess.

Yeah, you can't be chained up. You're rabid. You're a dog, and you like bones. Yeah, you're hungry for baby rabbits. You're a dog, you're barking, you like bones, and you chase cars. And I love to sleep on the floor. You love to sleep on the floor. You're an absolute dog.

You sleep in a little pillow on the floor that I bought you. You sleep in my room, sometimes at the foot of my bed, but then my wife kicks you off because you're not allowed up there. Yeah, it's true. And you like bones. I throw coins at you to keep you under control. Why would you throw coins at a dog? It keeps the dog under control. You know when you shake a can of coins

next to a dog or cat to scare it so it doesn't do whatever it did? It's because they're so stupid that they can't. Hold on. Hold on. I don't do that, but you've never seen people do that? I've never seen somebody throw coins at their pet. He's saying that's the better idea.

You shake a can with coins in. The normal thing that people do who are weird is they shake a can of coins next to their pets head. It's like a whistle. It's like, yeah, it's like a whistle or like when you spray water or whatever. Windex. Windex into your cat's mouth Yeah, you spray Windex in the cat's eye

Well, the whole thing is like it's... I've heard that, but throwing a coin is too much The Windex thing is makes sense because it's only a dime It's very small coin, very light too Yeah, yeah, I guess dime will work Okay, that's fine Well, let's, I mean, if you're okay with dime Let's roll play the situation

Nickel, no Okay, Penny, Penny, Penny's in the middle, come on Yeah And that's called negotiation, that's kind of a business Because he was not okay with any coin and then we got them up to penny. We got them up to a penny, which is worth one entire cent.

Yeah, so. So, it's probably a good size of going to throw at your pet, but it's worth barely anything. So if your pet eats it, that's fine. I thought with dogs, you're supposed to yank on their tail real hard.

Yeah, I think, when they do something wrong. I thought you're supposed to, like, wrap them up in chains and swing them around your head. If your dog is being mean to you, you tie up, like, the end of their tail with a rubber band until the circulation

and it cuts off, and then it's like the yakuza cutting up a pinky. I thought you're I thought you're supposed to take a big piece of plywood and drop it on them. Yeah.

It's not that heavy. You're supposed to drop a log on them from really high up and make them run on a log in the middle of a pond and the log spins as they run and if they fall in the water they're disqualified. I'm thinking to get in the dog. I can't decide on size though.

Right. You should get a, you should get like, A bull terrier. You should get a small dog. That's a type of dog that you, I think, would be a perfect owner of because you will kind of look like a bull terrier.

I think your bull is... Is there a bald dog? Yeah, you. A bull terrier looks like Caleb. Let me look it up. Is this like a cool, like, Puerto Rican dog with a mustache? Oh, this is the inbred, the crazy inbred one.

That I could never remember the name of. Now I will. Terrier? I don't look like a fucking bull. I don't have tiny little eyes. You look like a bull-terrorism. No, I don't, dude. You think I'm saying, I look like the fucking target dog? You have the same kind of like, like, like, head shape.

You have, you have the same demeanor as one. You have to say, what, loyal? You guys don't, you know. And a little hungry? You don't look that much, you don't look that much like it, except you have similar ears. Yeah. My ears do not make a triangle shape. Yeah, they do.

What about these are triangular or large? You better shut up. I'm on a website right now. Can we do like a quiz to see what type of dog, Caleb should get? Yeah, let's do. Let's do a... What type of dog should I get a personality quiz? Here, Caleb, answer these questions, okay?

I'm here for him. I'm ready, and I'm willing, and I'm ready to help my family. Okay, quiz. What dog breed matches your personality from 4Paws.com? What's your activity level? I hope I don't get, like, evil pedophile dog. What's your activity level? Pretty low, moderate, high, very high.

very high okay pretty low yeah yeah i'm running right now honest honest to god if you had a dog you would not you you would never want to walk the fucking thing lie what do you mean i walk today all right point i walk today right now i'm i'm i'm fucking yabba dabba doing with my feet as i sit in this fucking chair very high i am it's hard are you are you an introvert or an extrovert or somewhere in the middle somewhere in the middle True. Sometimes I'm shy, but sometimes I can low-key be the loudest voice in the room. What's your absolute favorite thing to do?

And here are your options. Read a good book. I know it's not that. Travel to new vacation spots. Biking, running, and anything athletic. Camping, hiking, and anything outdoorsy, or hang with friends and family. Watch TV. I'll put that under...

Is there like a travel to new vacation spots? Is there a watching TV dog that kind of is like really comfortable to sit on like a couch. I think maybe a golden doodle. You think a golden doodle would be, like, could just withstand the weight of my ass when I sit on the couch and I watch the simpson? My parents have a golden doodle and he watches TV with me all the time. Would you rather try something you never done before or do something you already know you enjoy? A dog with a human vagina. So do something you already know you enjoy. Yes, sir.

What's the most important to you? Your relationship, self-improvement, memorable experiences, staying healthy, or the environment? The environment? Okay. Which describes you best, low maintenance, up for anything, or family-oriented? Most evil man who ever lived? Up for anything. Up for anything, yeah.

On a weekend, would you rather explore a new city, go backpacking in the woods, have a backyard barbecue, Run a 5K or work on a creative project. Run a 5K. I'd love to run a 5K. There's so many questions on here. Do you intend to go with the flow, take the lead, come up with ingenious solutions? That one. Ingenious solutions.

Stop! I don't even want the other one. Ingenious solutions. That is me. Go with the flow, take the leader, come up with ingenious solutions. Are you chill a leader or just the biggest genius ever? Show results. Athletic Weimariner.

Oh, dude. Yeah. A Vimeriner? Weimariner. Weimarimer. How you spelled at? Vermacht. Oh, dude, this is a complete me of a dog, dude.

Yeah. It does look a lot like you. It's gray. I'm gray. I'm so little melanin in my skin that I'm just gray. This is the dog from the Blue Monday video. This is a good dog. Yeah.

There, you know. Now, let's look at, I'll look up athletic. Speed, 35 miles per hour. Really? I could beat him. I think that's the speed limit in all of New York City, so that'd be perfect. Let's see if there are any available for adoption in New York City. Cost.

Oh, $700? No. But if you get a top quality dog, $1,700. Mm-hmm. Oh. It says their energy level is five, but their affection level is only three. Their heat sensitivity is three I need the least affectionate

Most energetic dog So this one is not very affectionate It's friendliness is only two levels It only has a level two friendliness I didn't realize dogs had stats Oh yeah But they do on PetFinder it says right here Can I like change the attributes of the dog

And lose a point from one? It's like a racing game You can't really It's just like a different car Do I at least get a boost or something or can I upgrade it with more experience? I think you could put like a nitrous tank on the back. Oh, that's actually a really good idea.

You'll have to, you'll have to level up the dog. I already have an empty nitrous tank. So that's perfect. All right. Anyway. Anyway. Elis is not about dogs. No.

Yeah. Keep telling yourself, Dad. Sorry? Best ways to get revenge on younger sisters. By Anonymous. This guy was so. His ideas are so diabolical He wouldn't dare

Put his name on this Anonymous 115 years old Iraq, soon to be New Jersey Canada I really hope you realize None of this stuff is true I also love this test

HGTP colon slash www nerdtest.com Slash MQ And then a bunch of numbers Can we take the nerd test right now? Yeah let's check out this test Dude we're testing today We're testing in

Yeah monkey quiz okay well what was the if you hate monkeys if you hate monkeys this nerd test is the website

which we I think we've been on this website before a long time ago and we should definitely start doing stuff on here again because they got some good

quizzes here for example top user test this week are you ticklish do you think I'm fat what level gymnast are you think I'm fat

some kid just posted a bunch of pictures of himself and his belly and just it's different Wait, send it to me I can't find it Oh, I found it

I can't know You can't look at these pictures Oh no, that's so sad Why would you do that? She's a bunch of pictures I'm like holding his stomach Just saying As you can see

I can grab generous handfuls of my stomach Do I seem any fatter, skinnier now? There's another quiz By a different person this am i getting too fat uh oh my god this is like a kid this is gonna be oh this has to be fetters this has to be evil fetish

stuff doesn't it oh no this is an evil website we can't take this nerd test no i want out of that website i just got like the most horrible feeling in my stomach that is a diabre it's funny that we are always like two clicks away from the most

i don't know how it happens too yeah i every once so every once in our will like stumble on it's like an evil portal until this is the worst website ever do remember the the one about fucking monkeys yeah fucking monkeys that was evil um there's definitely been shit that we like clicked on before he started recording we were like oh no this is not the movie yeah yeah all right anyway number one best way to get revenge on younger sister steal just one thing from her room per day. Why not just steal a lot of things?

That's kind of genius. I mean, what would you start with, though? I would just take the bed first. Just the whole bed? Yeah. And see if she notices. Exactly. Because if she doesn't notice that, you've got free rain.

Yeah, younger sisters are so stupid and annoying that she probably wouldn't even notice when she walked in. She'd probably sit on her phone to go to sleep. Mm-hmm. Hi, guys. She probably wouldn't even know if there was a pee under her bed. Yeah. A little pee.

Here's a comment. Hi, guys, it's Angel Dust here. And I have a brother to try all these pranks on two thanks. P.S., if you want to have sex, write it in the comments. Here's an idea. I feel like a good prank would be like, like, kind of a similar, like, incremental change is get like a bowl of your piss, right? And then just like go in once a day and just flick it like holy water all over the room. because like the first day she probably won't notice but by day seven that's going to be a lot of piss all over that room true a lot yeah just dip your fingers in it just go you won't you won't notice it because it's been gradual exactly nothing's going to be wet there might be like little dot that's the thing that's the thing you could just like pee in your hand and just that once you're peeing and then just carry it it you don't have to keep your piss you know what i mean well do you don't keep it i guess i mean you do you put a little bit in a cup and then you dip your fingers in and then you why don't you

do you want to hold your piss so bad well i i'm trying to just like cut out keeping piss in the equation you don't have to like keep it like dump it out whenever you're done but like you seem really kind of obsessed with like holding piss in your hands like a camel no yeah i no that's not true well so so you're saying you would you would use a piss and then so you just keep it in your hands for the rest of the day no keep it in your hands until you bring it to the room and then where would you put it in your mouth i'm guessing is what you would No, you flick it on your sandwiches for flavor. Did you just come up with that?

That's good. It's amazing, dude. Yeah, it's a punchline I just thought of. That's really, really good. You should use that for maybe. I feel like it could use a different setup, but it's a good punchline. I feel like you could be even quieter when you said it, too. Yeah.

Yeah. Here's some comments. I tried, but my brothers are twins. He used his other brother's shoe. Here's one. I have a band name, Pink Diamond. Come see us. This comment is really sinister

This comment is really sinister They don't have the fuck as good as either Pink, dude, you don't want to go see pink diamond? Pink diamond sounds good They don't have They don't have the day of the show They don't have the anywhere to find They don't have their band camp

You want them to do fucking everything for you god damn pink diamond if you search pink diamond band the only thing that comes up is like wedding bands that are made that have pink diamond right a terrible sir you know pink diamond i i'm i've become your manager i'm taking over they clearly need somebody to take charge uh-huh nobody's hearing all this shit the pink diamond review from london an alternative group from london a world where 60s film soundtracks meets samplodelic acid house um i to I decided to do three things to my younger sister. Yeah, that was the one I was going to read. Very sinister. Very creepy. That, my friend, I am so going to do it. I'm feeling evil today.

Good opinion. Thank you a lot. I wish I was as smart as you. This is a good kid. Great, but I just want to be friends with my sister. Yeah. Oh. She went insane.

He read the list just in case she doesn't want to be friends with him. Yeah. Right. She went insane. I took her favorite toy that she. She calls Froggy, and she is absolutely embarrassing. I share room with her. That does complicate

it a little bit. Yeah. She walks in, your bed is gone. Oh, some sis. Notice anything different? Yeah. Oh, I stole your bed. What are you going to do? Yeah. That's your bed. Hmm. Is it? Well thought out. We'll give you the last laugh. This will work miracles

on my sis. This list should be called How to Get In Extreme Dead Meat With Your Parents Here's a comment here This is the same as stealing You should be ashamed Works every time

Smack him on the ass Number two Wait I got one There's one more here I always stole her stuff and she was like Aw and err The two little sister noises Yep.

Number two, put lemon juice on her toothbrush. Yep. Have you guys ever done this? Were you guys big pranksters growing up? I was not a big prankster now. I was a little pranker. Yeah. What was your go-to prank?

Pretty good prank on my... I probably talked about it, but my science teacher in the eighth grade, we put scotch tape over the sensor on his mouse. Does it count as a prank? And he called the IT department, and they replaced the... mouse for them. They brought like a whole new mouse. One time I tried to do the thing, you know, where you put shaving cream on someone's hand and tickle their face while they're sick. I tried to do that with my little brother and my friend

and my friend like tickled his face with the feather and my little brother just fully asleep, just put his hand on my friend's face with his face. Just like smushed it onto his face. Yeah, I don't understand why you wouldn't just put the shaving cream on the sleeping person's face. Yeah, like why did they have to pie themselves? you know like just fucking the ender is why are you making all these steps

why do I have to like capture a bird before I can do this prank right here's a comment I tried that before with my little sister and she hated me

from October till March 11th this is the best thing ever I might even try it on her food I'm gonna I'm gonna bring on my sister by putting

lemon juice on her salmon yeah yeah oh I'm gonna put I'm gonna put lemon juice on her lobster in the butter it's gonna be

she's gonna be so mad. I'm going to put pepper. I'm going to grind pepper onto her salad till she says win. She's going to be so upset. Yeah. My sister has acid on her teeth, which is really gross anyway. But I tried this, and her teeth were yellow, and she

stunk. Thanks. My sister killed me. Love it. My sister is yelling at me because I'm playing my instrument. uh greatest idea ever in known history whoever posted this is greater than albert einstein she will totally freak with the lemon taste i like lemon juice i don't have any sisters but on my cousin who is three that would be better i want to kill her so badly there's one comment here that says i don't love ella

Yeah, better post it there than say it's a family dinner, right? Yeah, it's a good point. Get it out of the system. Here's a comment. How do you do the prank? Tried it. Let's just say she broke my Xbox. Yeah, let's just say she did a little thing.

She broke my Xbox. This sounds hilarious, but. Probably not a good idea, to be honest. I like this one. I put lemon juice on her toothbrush and hot sauce in her refreshments. Her refreshments. Yeah, yeah, she was your cute, bloody Mary. Gads, Gadsukes, my reflect, my refreshments.

What a clever, great, pleasant prank. I am putting salt on her toothproof. B-R-U-T-H. Number three, jump out of a closet. Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah, it's also, you know. Nothing wrong with this? Pretty impressive.

Yeah. Jump out of a closet. Yeah, the biggest prank on your sister is coming out. Yeah. Jumping out. Yeah. I'm gay, ah! That's jumping out of the closet.

Here's one. Hey, mom, dad. I've been wanting to talk to you about something. I'm gay. Here's a comment. Haven't heard of this break before, but I'll give it a whirl. I did this to my sister. She got so scared, she ran into the wall.

I am an only child, but it sounds good to me. Just doing it on yourself? I'm an only child, too, and I was adopted from China. Maybe I'll do it to one of my annoying friends. This one here, so it says, you know, title, jump out of the closet and then epic jake comments and says and then scare her i like this one a lot don't because i'm stuck for sure now i'm just completely just like just like the movie buried just like stuck in the closet

has he tried this prank yes i love scaring this will work thanks the top tens i love scaring Oh my god I did the same thing When I was in India Also my sister was 11 I was 15 Now I'm 16 She's 12

I climbed into my uncle's closet And then jumped out Literally screaming It's me green lantern She literally fainted I'm scared of green lantern too Yeah Number four

Tell their secrets Here's the top comment What a horrifying thing to do Even if your younger sibling Is annoying They are still family Now your sibling will never trust you. I mean, it's hard for youngsters to confide their secrets in others.

You shouldn't be tossing them around like they're nothing. Yeah, I found the little sister commenter on this list. Oh, my fucking God. Mm-hmm. Um, yeah, I don't, I don't, uh, why are, why are boys so obsessed with secrets? What kind of secret can a girl even have? Pregnancy. Wow. You think so? I don't know. Well, this person says, get over it, So my older sister told me that I had missing walk because I said she couldn't play GTA 5 on me Xbox So she said, okay, then I'm telling mom that you have missing work

Oh changed That you wouldn't play on it either So her secret is she's acting like a boy towards girls Whoa Interesting Caleb this commenter agrees with you here What secrets? Girls being fat isn't a secret It's true

It's funny when you do it to them But when it done to me I freak more than I told embarrassing secrets Because they would give me an Oreo if I did Whoa Okay Um Yep

Easiest ways by music fans I kind of want to work up to number Here's a comment make a chili sandwich for her and enjoy your own sandwich Here wait start number five I have to get something Number five pretend that you're putting a curse on her

And do bad stuff to her after Yeah so this is good Well this is good because you can combine it with any other item on the list Yeah you first you say I'm putting a curse on you And then you put lemon juice on her toothbrush You know this is kind of like Oh and then you're cursed to have bad teeth. Yeah, exactly.

So this is kind of like a, this is, you can add this onto any other prank. Oh, it's like, say a curse, I just put a curse on you. Here's a comment. Grab a random hardback book, take off the cover if it has one, and say a random spell while looking at the book. Simples, then

do weird stuff to her. Taking out like a Bible, taking off the cover going, he's a lee by me's only. And then just like, walking and be like, ooh. It probably would be a curse feels like. It probably is what it feels like to be cursed.

I flopped on her stomach. It's pretty good. I try that yest-o-day on September 2nd, 2020, and I said that they will have bad dream, and so on they went and told on me. Whoa. Yest-o-day. Little sister goes, I ran into the wall 300 times, and stepped on your Legos.

I hate you, and I troma lid my Bible. I'm gun no go to hell now, I will. Smiley face. That's a Jamaican child. I do it and hide her chrome book. Last comment. Me likey. Weird ass fucking kid.

All right, this one is fucked up. Use your toothbrush to clean the toilet is number six. I don't think that's a good one I don't think that's okay to do Unless the toilet is filled with lemon juice In which case, it's pretty good Unless it's like a toothpaste toilet Right, yeah

Yeah Like you guys just kind of like go in there Or If it's her ass toothbrush Yeah, or if it's her toothbrush that she uses To brush her ass with Which everybody, I mean that's like Do you guys know that white people

Don't use a toothbrush to brush their ass? Isn't that disgusting? I didn't know that. Now that I know it, I'm pissed. Me too. I did this once, and I even rubbed it in some poop, so it was really gross. I did this to my brother, though, not sister. Oh, okay.

Well, don't say it then. If it's not to your sister, don't say it. Absolutely. Yeah, I agree. I'd do this, but she'd get sick, and she would be at home while you were at school. That's the only thing. Epic Jake. I did, and now her stomach hurts.

I am scared that something really bad will happen. Dude, you know that kid is like freaking the fuck out. Like to type that out and post that on this website, I'm scared that something really bad will happen. Yeah, he made his sister eat shit and she just dies. Yeah. Remember to leave it in there when you're done. That's a bad idea.

Just like, I'm not going to use my toothbrush. I'm not going to be like, oh, fuck, where's my toothbrush? Oh, it's just in the toilet. I have this black Sharpie And my sister has her own She had hers from years ago And I just bought mine a month ago She wanted mine because she lost hers

I'm like you have your own Then I get mine and see another black Sharpie I draw lines and see which is better She snatched mine I shouted give it back Then my parents got involved And I got mine back And she was winking like a baby

And then my mom just took mine Then she gave it to my sister So now It's revenge Oh my God Cruel for idiots They could die from a toy Toilet disease.

I like that, like, at least half of these people just think that what this prank will do is give them bad breath. Like, the prank isn't that you're making them eat poop. It's that, oh, their breath is going to smell bad. You're going to have stinky green lines coming out of your mouth. Yeah. Number seven. Pour cold water on her while she is in the shower. Oh, I've done this.

I remember, yeah, I did this to my older brother. once and he he ran out of the um he like ran completely naked like chased me through the house to beat me up he was so mad it was awesome when you like flush the toilet to make it run cold no we had like ice water i never had dumped it over the that happened yeah the toilet thing never happened at my house yeah it was just too rich just like my water was like mad hot all the time and shit i have boiling hot toilet water the reason that that happens is because when you flush the toilet all that water goes into the shower. Yeah.

So, and that water's cold. That's a good point. I do wish that's how it work, because that'd be a great prank. It goes like Plato, spaghetti, your shits out of the toilet or the shower head. That'd be awesome. Yeah, pee too.

Here's a comment. Yeah, and even some pee in there, too, some toilet paper, some nasty. Maybe if you put a cue tip in there. Here's a comment. And watch the makeup slide off, or maybe turn off the heater in winter and see if she likes a chill surprise.

This idea was awesome My little sister got sick and puked everywhere From cold water Sounds like a baby It's instantly puking You're already There's already water You're already getting hit with water

And she's probably It was probably the cold Like two in his like shock Her system Yeah It's instantly vomited Everywhere I guess that's the best place to puke is in the shower.

Yeah. What if you see her naked? It's a very strong point. Yeah. That is a good point, yeah. Number eight, find a balloon and put it in her pillow so when she lays he head back, it will pop. You don't think that they would notice a giant party balloon. Just like one of those ones that's like shaped like Spider-Man, like the ones that are like, like the big like Spider-Man balloons.

Yeah, the Millar balloon. It looks like a giant one. The ones that, like, you can't even pop by, like, laying here. Yeah. I did this, and she screamed, ran to mom, and said, my head cracked open. It was so funny. She sounds stupid. Can kids under 18 do this?

No. No. Yeah. My mom would kill me. She doesn't like her carpet wet, but I will put bags in it to rumble around. I'm doing because sis took money. She started to scream and cry a lot Then she ran up to my mom

Oh yeah Mike cracked my head open Yeah Yeah Yeah I didn't Nice job but no All right

And the number nine This is a This takes a serious cruel drop off here Did we read this one? What? LOL Sometimes I hate boys They can be so stupid

P.S. Spray her least favorite bathroom spray on her chair It's a very polite brother Her little bit is a bathroom spray Like a glade Yeah Her least favorite

Oh I hate cinnamon I hate the smell of cinnamon You know I don't want my chair To smell like that In her room Yeah Baker her least favorite pastry Give her her least favorite money

Yeah Number nine Number nine Post their nude pictures on the web yeah i don't know about this one listen to all the brothers out there this might seem funny but you're gonna go to jail yeah you're gonna go to kid jail uh you know it's that one and then number 10 lock them out of the house like a very serious crime and then it's like ah you don't get to come in and have pizza yeah yeah yeah fart on her um

Lock him out of the house. Amazing idea. I will do this to my little blackmail sister. What? I don't know. I think they meant blackmail my little sister. Oh, okay. I said my little black male sister.

That was confused for a sense. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense. No. My older sister drew on my face and I'm trying to get revenge. I would lock her out of the house, but she has anger issues. That's smart. You don't want it. You don't want it.

You don't want your anger issue sister to attack you. I did that to my sis, and she was very mad. And I was like, Mom, know me Pagas, because I don't know Spanish. I once fell asleep doing this, and suddenly they got in from the window. Did you guys ever get locked out of the house growing up? Yeah. Dude, I got so good at just, like, like, I had a wallet for so long that just had, like, my dad's old AAA card in it when I was, like, 12, just so I could, whenever my older brother would lock me out, I could just expertly just. safe crack my way into the door

dude I was so good at it I didn't get locked out like as a prank I just got locked out by accident I didn't know I would get locked out as a prank yeah I didn't have any brothers so you know brothers are brothers are the ones who will lock you out they they teach you a lot I've definitely locked out my sibling out of rooms and and doors

brothers very fun to do that's one of the ultimate brother activities it's one of the easiest it's basically a button that is an instant prank yeah it's fucking genius the way they have these doors locked these days. It's great to do, do a wife or girlfriend, too. Absolutely. I had Jana locked out a couple weeks ago on a 104-degree day outside. She's in our hallway banging on the door for about 40 minutes.

It's very funny. And I was playing video games with sound-canceling headphones on. I go out there, she's crying her ass off talking about how she has to carry all these groceries, and then I get to play it off as a prank. Right. It's pretty good. Now that it was a prank, so, like, you can't even get mad about it. The tears turned to laughter almost immediately.

Yeah. Yeah. It's also, it's funny as hell to do to your older family members, like a grandfather or grandmother who are 80 years old or older. Here's a really funny prank that you can pull on a grandmother. So instead of locking her out, because that's a little cruel, basically cover your entire bathroom in olive oil and then lock her in. Right?

And then say, Grandma, I think I saw a mouse in there. See, that wouldn't work Because she would never go If there's a grandmother Will never go in a room That has a mouse in it No, you have the door locked She says, let me out

You say, okay grandma I'm trying to find the key to the bathroom But I want you to know I did see a mouse or a spider in there Yeah Yeah And also grandma I would love for you to try

On those new roller blades I got you Yeah And grandma I'm really hungry Yeah I'm so hungry I need you to come I need you to come

make me food right now. You need to try and get out of that room. So you can come make me delicious food. If you want to give her a treat, set up a slip and slide between her room and the kitchen and say, Grandma, you know what time? It's lunchtime. I would like my sandwich. A really good classic Grandma prank is a pitfall.

Yeah. Works every single time. You put foliage and jungle vegetation over it in the middle of her, in the middle of her linoleum kitchen floor. She says, I don't remember these stairs up to the top of this, all these, all these leaves being here. I say, Grandma, I really need your

the jelly toast that you make so well. You make it like nobody else. I need jelly on toast right now. Yeah. And then you put friendly spikes in the bottom. Right. Yeah. Mario spikes.

Yeah. Make her bounce up and hold her bottom. Do not do this prank if your grandma has one or less lives left. She will not respond. Yeah. She will go back to the beginning of the world. If there's only one little picture of your grandma's face in the bottom left corner of the screen, do not do this prank.

It's a bad idea. Number 11. Hide just one of their best shoes. That's such a great idea because Christmas is coming up and they will want to wear good shoes. Facts. I've been saying this. Christmas is coming up in a hundred days. Wouldn't you feel stupid as fuck though if like your sis like grabbed her one single sketcher went to school and like low-keyed start?

the next big thing. Mismatched shoes. One shoe. One shoe. It's 137 days still Christmas. It's amazing you knew that off the top of your head. Yeah, that was really impressive. Did you just count that?

Yep. I did one, two, skip a few, and I got all the way there. There's a comment. This is where ferrets come in. What does that mean? I don't know. Oh, you put a ferret in their shoe. Of course.

I don't think a kid can get a ferret. A kid can get a ferret. I don't think a kid should be able to get a ferret. My friend in high school had a ferret, and it killed itself. What? It jumped out of his hand and backwards and hit its head on the bathroom sink. Sounds like your friend killed his ferret. I don't think so.

Yeah. I believe what he told me. Yep. The Elliott Smith themselves, the parrot did. Yeah, the ferret drove a steak knife through its own heart. It's pretty amazing. If you guys knew this ferret, you know the ferret he was making some comments so i was like he was leaving were there

hesitation wounds there he was giving away some of his his most prized possessions to people close to him oh really he was saying stuff like this is the last time i'm ever going to see you again and they'd say why and he said i'm going on vacation ferret sounds not very discreet if you ask me bit on the nose he was a drama queen Yeah, obviously. He killed himself. I'll skip around here. Yeah.

We got number 19th shaving cream and feather while sleeping trick. I mean, that's that already classic. That's a fucking... Number 21, be happy when she's in trouble. Pretty good. That is a good prank. Just smile big whenever she gets in trouble. Delete games on her iPod slash iPhone.

That's pretty fucked Yeah, that's not If you, I mean Most games that's okay But Flappy Bird If you delete Flappy Bird You cannot get it back I actually heard that on the news

On CNN Number 36 Put diarrhea medicine In her food And I don't know if that means Like emodium Or like Or if that means like laxatives

Yeah Pro diarrhea or anti-dairia Yeah Like are you trying to I got to say If you're putting, like, anti-diarrhea medicine in her food, that's just a good brother. But if you're putting, like, laxatives in her food, I mean, that's a prank. Number 30 is put a hot sauce in her drink, and a comment says,

What were you thinking? My mom caught me. You idiot. Had you not considered that my mom may catch me. Number 31, put salt in her soap. He, he, he, he, he, the salt will dry her skin out, and she will scratch her stuff. It will be so funny for her to scratch Like an animal in front of her crush so funny

We share soap my whole family One bar is soap for everything They throw it in the dishwasher Number 53 Tell her Santa is not real Oh my god There's a prank There's a prank and then there is being cruel

This is cruel so just stop This is so mean and would crush trust her dreams. I wouldn't be able to do this. She's so stupid. She would prove to me he is real by showing me the elf on the shelf we got in 2014. I told an eight-year-old

illegal immigrant who lives in her house who was six at the time that Santa isn't real. And she said that she actually knows that. That's a comment from, I hate school. And there's a comment from popsicles in response to that that says,

I'm not going to ask why there's an illegal immigrant living in your house. This one, I like how straightforward this one is number 55 eat on her bed number 40 is tell your dad that you heard her say she was a lesbian and then someone comments I did this and my family is Christian works perfectly number 75 fart in her mouth while she is asleep have you guys ever had that someone do that do you what fart in my mouth I think that's the most mad I've ever been is one of my cousins farted in my mouth while I was asleep and I woke up right

as the fart entered my brain and I just was I mean I was I was furious dude yeah that yeah that is like that is the ultimate disrespect I think

um kick her butt just beat this shit out of her message her random stuff um oh that would get her pretty good slap her bed every day hit them with a broom

um pick the lock while she's in the bathroom yeah watch your poop That'd be funny as fuck Tell her how much you love her When at school or in public around friends Put bug spray on her food

Number 91 Hit them with a broom Ripped their homework in half Get a scary toy Or a toy that she is already scared of And show it to her Follow them around everywhere And stare at them nonstop

Put poop under her bed Which one is that One 20 and there's one comment This crap stinks. Is that a reaction? Yeah. That's what you're going for. Poor milk in her mouth and she is sleeping and it will make her throw up.

She's poor milk right in her mouth. She's sleeping on her back. Number 145, pretend she's mentally ill. Number 174. Tell her that her nightmare is real. Hey, sis, you know your nightmare that came true? All right, got to go. Force her to lick a frozen river and tell her it's just like ice cream.

Fart on things she loves, sneeze on her face when she's sleeping. Message her random stuff, and this is somebody, this is XX, Severed Humanity XX says, I texted my friend random stuff once. What I texted is down below. Pumpkin, man, clown, ball, play, off boy, bun, butt, shirt, porcupine, skinny jeans, man, clown, butt, cheek. High, high, high, high, hi. Number 171, shake a bottle filled with change.

Number 238, tell them that there are terrorists or demons and act deathly afraid. Just like that they exist? Yeah, and there's one comment here that says, the terrorists is a bit much frown face. Demons are okay. Yeah, demons, but, you know, tell them that there's terrorists. Not cool. There's so many of these. I mean, that's because little boys are...

Complete prank factories. Scare her with her worst fears. Force her to annoy your pet cat. If she did that, then the cat will claw her face. There's like, hold on, let me... Control F. Lemon. The word lemon is used 17 times. Number 50, poor lemon juice on her head

when she's in the shower. Number 95, put lemon juice in her drink. Number 228. Number 102, put lemon juice in her lipstick. Number 228. Put collater lemonade powder in the shower head. So the shower will be colorful and sweet. Tell her there is an emergency.

You're going to have to get under your desk. There is an emergency. But just you. You're the only one who's in danger right now. I have bad news. There's an emergency. They just had an emergency in our house. So you're going to have to hide. How would you guys prank your sister?

If you had sisters, if you had a younger sister, how would you prank them? I would probably do number, uh, I think poop, I think poop under her bed is like insanely strong. That's a really good. Like, that's just like, throw away her makeup. That's mean, though. That's like mona, like poop under her bed, I think might be the least damaging, the perfect balance of like, like, it's going to piss her off, but she's not, is not losing anything. Right. I mean, I guess poop, a fart in her mouth is funny, too.

Well, I think you've got to clean up poop. You don't have to clean it up. No, she... And then when your parents are like... When she goes to your parents, you just say, yeah, she keeps poop under her bed. She's trying to frame me for poop under her bed. You say, what?

You think my poop looks like that? No way. Look at it. It spells her name. You really think I could spell? Yeah, it says C-A, and that's crossed out, and that it says her name. Yeah.

So what, I have a lot of poop, and it's real thin. Who cares? It's almost like I put it in the... in the cake icer that we have in the kitchen and then sprayed it, but nope, came right on my ass. By the way, I can't find the cake icer. Don't look for it is. But it's definitely not in the trash can, so there'd be no reason to look in there. It's definitely not still in the drawer because somebody couldn't find a place to hide it.

So don't try to use it if it is. And if there is something, if you do find it, it has normal icing in it and not poop. It's just brown icing. By the way, I'm allergic to cake. I can't ever eat cake made in this house again. And you guys are also allergic to cake Except for my sister Who actually loves cake with brown icing on it

And she her birthday's tomorrow and you guys forgot it Yeah That's it says all of that written in poop Under her bread Dipping your your Quill into poop like it like an inkwell And then yeah And there shall be a cake with the brown icing

Yeah Yeah they find They like find it in like Like the dumb waiter that never gets open in the house. Some ancient stroll with that written on it. Yeah. Oh. Yeah, shit.

My house got two dumb waiters. Yeah, you and yourself. Oh, come on. Yeah, it's too easy. All right. Goodbye, beautiful. Bye, bye.