Podcast About List - Ep. 158 - Sexual Riddles for Sexual Patrick (w. Brandon Wardell)

Episode Date: August 18, 2021

go follow brandon @BRANDONWARDELL and check out his standup please. and subscribe to www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist for a lot more content ok thank youuu❤️

You're listening to Israel's number one podcast. Podcasts to the ball list. You're in the crap monster. Yeah, we are now. I'm just imagining you and Pat like fucking, like, in a hot tub. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's like one of those pools where you have to, like, reserve it.

Oh, really? That place was crazy. Like, your room at that place was like, yeah. Like, I was so, that fucked me up so bad. I, like, went in and I was like, what the hell? Like, the bathroom was so cool, like... Had a cool bathroom. Dude, it was like, cool bathroom.

It made me want to get a better bathroom in my real life. I don't know. I want, like, a sex, I want a sex bathroom. A place where you can have, like, like, when rich people talk about, like, having sex in the shower, you're like, yeah, okay, I get it. You have, like, room in your shower. Right, yeah. You know, my shower, like, I would die like an old person.

I'd, like, fall over and hit my head. And then be in the hospital. that would be terrible I would never have sex in the shower I don't I have I bought a like a bed like an expensiveish bed you know I mean like

it's working and also the water is that is orange in my shower I'm not like like yo baby let's go you know that orange you know the fucking like Gatorade the crowd

our shower Yeah Say oh yeah like the Kool-Aid man I fuck you in the Warren show. I love it when you remember the 90s. Just stepping on, just shampoo bottles over and over and over, squirting across the bathtub. I start using, like, my danger shampoo as lube and stuff. Ow, dude, fuck.

Stings, dude. Do you have, like, grimy floors in the shower? Oh, yeah. There's a layer. Your feet get dirtier. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I get out of the shower with, like, black, like, pig pin feet. It's really fucked up.

Our, I just had to, uh, I had to, like, replace the bath, or the, the shower mat pretty recently because I, like, shaved my, my dick and balls in the shower. Wow. And there was, like, so much hair in it. Oh, yeah. Oh, I did. I, uh, yeah, we, we get, we get manscaped ads. Yeah. On our pod.

So I get, I get free manscape. Oh, shit. And so I put, I put that shit to use. And then I got it. I think I was like, uh, it was like a night where I was like, I had like a 7 a.m. flight. So it was like. all right like i was like addied out yeah i was real you know and so i was like time to you know take take the manscape you know put the manscape to work i mean like 4 a m that's the best thing

to do and then it was like one of those situations where like you finish and you're like oh it's too much yeah it's too much like you're like you're you like shave you shave your dick and balls and then you're like oh wait to say oh this is a oh i have a child's cock in my hand You call the cops and yourself You think that you're holding a child's Dick and Balls? Officer, I don't know what happened I woke up! I woke up and I'm pulling!

Yeah, you think you got like reverse Bates out at the time that you were fucking... I would love to see... And my bathtub's full of hair! I would love to see Pat versus the Manscape Kit like a Tyson and probably title fight.

Yeah, no, it's already, it's already way too, like, like, even then, like, doing it into, like, shaving my shit in the shower, just like, I was like, oh, this is, like, this is gonna take, like... Oh, well, yeah, yeah, because you're, like, a hairy guy. I'm hairy as shit. I'm kind of, like, you wouldn't think, like, my arms and legs are, like, pretty hairless.

Yeah. But then, if you, like, saw me with my shirt off, you'd be like, you shouldn't have that much different. Yeah, dude, I'm... It's, like, a weird patch here. I'm, like, all the way. Like, I kind of just, I kind of just, I kind of just...

Oh, that's nothing. I kind of... No, but I like... I'm wearing a sweater. Oh, okay. Oh, you did the whole thing. I, like, really... Damn.

It's really manscape. That's fucked up. Yeah. I'm just somebody whose dad shaves his entire body every single morning. Is he a swimmer? Except for eyebrows.

Wait, his dad shaves his son's... Yeah. Yeah. It's a beautiful... I mean, I think it's beautiful, you know? Yeah. I had that kind of mom and my dad.

Father and son by cats... Yeah. Just like your dad. Just like your dad. when you turn 13 he's like son come to the bathroom I'm going to teach you how to shave you start at your legs square inch of your body including your penis that's what is it like even on vacation

he doesn't like give it a break or I think I think seven days a week every day god damn yeah getting a beer with your dad when you're like 24 and you're like so why didn't you ever shave me? That's what a cat's in the cradle is all about I'm gonna shave my son real soon I shouldn't have put all those

skateboarders there Oh yeah, we're in your... Is this always where you record? Yeah, well, when we're here, I mean... No, because the last time, like, when Cam visits New York, but he lives here now. We've recorded here once. Oh, yeah, I heard you just moved here.

I just moved here yesterday. Yeah, this is... Yeah, we're in your... We're all in your room. My tiny, blue bushwood apartment. On the pod? Not really, no, he's sitting in it. He's a shitty room.

Cam's on my bed. He's sitting next to all three of my skateboards. Don't say any details about Patrick's room because somebody's going to build a doom wad of it. Yeah. Patrick's going to lie awake at every night. Is it not enough for you, Brandon? I love it. No, I love...

I love... Recording a movie theater or something. No, listen. I love being here at 22... No, I'm just kidding. No, I'm not. Come on. 22... Stop. Stop. What?

22 street. 22 street. 22. Oh, no. What? That's two. much already. I didn't, I didn't even not too much.

No, that's going to freak me out. How many 22s do you think there are in New York City? Stop saying the number. Stop saying the number. How many do you think there are a number? Not even the number. It's not allowed. It's not. No, I think they were safe.

How old were you two years ago? Huh? How old were you two? Stop. Stop. I just want to know some facts about my friend. Is that so wrong? God damn. No, that's like,

oh, fuck. That's like, okay, it's 23. Okay, it's 23 guys, it's okay. Stop putting the number in. If we say the wrong number now, can we say the name of this dream? That's okay. But yeah, I have all my skateboards next to camera, and one of them's going to fall over. Yeah, it's got a big pile of, yeah, a bunch of... Yeah.

I just have, I mean, this is only... Normally don't you... All of your worldly possessions. Yeah, I just, like, I am so bad at organization. I mean, yeah, this is... a bad spot for the skateboards but don't you normally keep them like behind your door so if you open your door more than halfway they all fall over well i'm trying to figure out a new spot to put them you got a good uh nice little uh DVD oh yeah i have um here this is a combat tai chi oh yeah that is a

good one we had a i think we had a very uh similar cultural diet yeah we were talking about this last night was that last night or two nights ago fuck it's all putting me we were yeah Oh, come on. Come on now. Yeah. Oh, and we all, oh, we were all hanging out. Yeah. Yeah.

We went to, oh, what was that fucking, that Russian Samovar? Yeah, yeah. I was so mad. Oh, yeah. I'm so sorry. Honestly. Like, I was like, we were hanging out and I was like, oh, Brandon's cool. Like, this is fun.

And he took me there. Oh, yeah. Well, this is where there were a lot of today at Brandon Wardell. Oh, yeah. What's going on? Yeah, that's fine. People can fucking read the title. People have read the title.

That's true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, we went to, well, I got, I don't know, that was where everybody we'd, that makes you feel We didn't pull up, no, like, there's so many people. Did it make you feel like you were in L.A. because it was full of evil people. Right.

It was demonic. Yeah. Felix was like, yeah, this is, it's a bunch of people that are like, networking, but unemployed. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, like, it was all, like, sort of, yeah, godless hedonists. Yeah, it was bad, dude. Dude, there's somebody, I bought, I bought, I bought, it was so expensive.

I bought, me and Brandon. you with tequila soda, I got a gin tonic, and immediately as I turn around, dude, just fucking knocks it out of my hand, and didn't even offer to buy me another one. $20 drink. Fucking mad. It was, like, pacing back and forth in that back room

just like, like, what? He didn't even fucking offer pay. There's a couple of... It was like $20. You need to fucking offer. A school yard bully, lunch tray smacks the shit out of your hand. It was your drink, too, which I felt such like an asshole, but I gave you, I gave you, I gave you...

Oh, yeah, you get, yeah. But, no, that was like a... well it was like just late it was like late it was late and that was like where people I knew there were like a we got there we had friends there yeah we got there and there's like a piano there

and they were playing um fuck you can't get what you want by Joe Jackson and like you can just hear that like I noticed like the dude's like DJing but it's like the DJ equipment's on top of this piano and like every 10 minutes he stands up and just tried to play it

and he just wasn't like kid hitting the keyboard so it's just like this dude in a suit just like no no no no over like that song just kind of like pressing the pedals as well that song's like a really like fast like slap bass like eight like new wave song it's just like like i was talking to clark was there and like i'm talking to clark and the whole time i'm just like all right i i can't talk what the fuck is that guy what is he doing yeah i guess people sing here too oh yeah it was like different levels yeah it was ever Everybody was on the floor walls.

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. That was, yeah, I didn't mean to lead you astray. It's okay.

It hit all the like marks of like a bad bar where like the bartender is like having way too good of a time. Right. That is that is a bad, that's a bad sign. Like if the bartender is like fucked up and dancing, that's going to be a $45 gin in time. Right. He's not, he's not put any fucking well gin in there. No. No, they don't have it.

The shelves to start at his chest. That's it. No, it's definitely a scene. Yeah. That was that, you know. I went out under the roof, and I, like, asked to bum a sig from somebody, and he just immediately just started making fun of me, and I was just like, what did he gave me the cigarette?

I forget exactly. That is the toll that you're fucked up. Yeah, he started making fun of me for shit, and, like, I don't know, like, I recognized somebody there, and I was, like, talking to them, like, somebody I met at, like, a friend's house one time, and I was like, she was, like, asking me for, like, her, like, like, Instagram or whatever. It was like, oh, do you have like Twitter or whatever? And like the guy was like, oh, Patrick likes Twitter. And I was like, oh, what the fuck? Oh, wait. Well, oh. I was like, he gave me a cigarette. That was a stranger. Yeah. He wasn't making fun of you. It was nice of him. He said it and immediately, immediately went. And I was like, all right, you know, you got me pretty good there.

Yeah. That's pretty. Wait, how did it? Why did he say that? Because you asked, you, you asked about a girl's Twitter or what? Wait, you asked about a girl's Twitter. Did you tell people about your, I don't tell people about my Twitter. I was just saying, like, you know, it was like, you say, when somebody asks if you have Twitter, you go, no. I don't know. There's, I mean, I was a, I was a, I was pretty fucked up. I really don't remember what I said. Yeah. But you definitely, at some, you definitely at some point have been like, I guess I'm on Twitter.

I know. Come on, no. Yeah, I, yeah, I've done it. Yeah. What you forgot is that you went up. Oh, oh, do you want to see it? You went up to that guy to bomb a cigarette And you held up your phone

And went, look how many followers I have Give me a cigarette now That's what you did that you forgot Could like I can't explain to people What I do Because I just like Oh like I have a podcast

And I just say just stupid shit online Just say you're in the military Yeah Maybe I should start doing that It's like the easiest Because nobody cares Yeah Just say something like

Say a job that nobody will ever ask about Yeah You know military I'm in the Peace Corps Author Yeah. Say that you wrote Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar.

Well, that's the thing like, the people that I was talking to on that roof were like, oh, I'm a writer or like, you know, like, you know, like just shit like that. No, that's like, oh, like, I don't like, I don't know what I do. I don't do stand up anymore so I can't be like, oh, I'm a comedian because I'm just like. I'm an evil murderer. I'm a monster. I'm the worst person in the world, which I mean, you know, if I'm saying like, oh, this is my Twitter, it's not too far off. I'm your worst fucking nightmare. I'm from hell

Yeah, take all of his cigarettes I think if someone asked you for a cigarette You should be able to be like Yeah, fat assed, like no problem You should be able to do that one For each cigarette You get one kind of rib Yeah

Yeah, if he gives you one cigarette He should also be allowed to give you One titty twister Yeah, one purple nerple You should have to smell his shoe He should have to take a shoe up And you should have to take a deep whiz You have to look at his, the circle.

I know what you're doing. I'm not going to look at it, Pat. No, I'm sorry. You're not going to give me a... I'm not, you know, just don't worry about it. What? The thing, you know what you're doing. Oh, you dropped...

Oh, you dropped this circle of my finger. Yeah, I got you. I got you. Yeah, Patrick's doing the white power sign. Oh, I forgot. Did he change that? You know, you know why that changed? Because some nerd, that happened to him too many times.

And he's like, you know, that's white power. Yeah, and then that guy, like, saved so many people from getting deadline. Wow. We're a fucking dork. Yeah, that was definitely a party where it was, like, a lot of, I feel like there were a lot of people there that are like, yeah, I'm, I'm Trad Cath. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's, you know, the, what was it, that was in Lower East Side or? Yeah, it was a lot of, oh, God, you know, that, yeah, a lot of, you know, like Chinatown kids.

Yeah, yeah. Dime Square, as they call it on. What's your problem with Chinese people? wait a second hold on yeah that's such a it's such like

saying that they were tradcath people at a party to me is as like as like nonsenseical as being like yeah there's a lot of like bloods and crips

I don't know I feel like that is a very specific to new I mean I guess it's just a weird like niche part of the internet there's like

it's not just New York but it feels like a very New York thing yeah fucking like 22 year old who are like, I love Christ

Yeah, like they stopped drinking for like two weeks They're like two weeks off I was actually saved Yeah They're like But then they're still going to bars and shit Right Like it's like oh I still want to hang out

But and also like fucking 17 year olds Yeah The most trad cat thing Which I guess that tracks a little bit Yeah, yeah But yeah no I doubt it is I have not been to a single bar like that Until that one

We mostly go to bars that are like Like we went to a bar last time There's basically a Halloween store. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the key. That sounds nice. It was very fun. Sounds a little scary to me.

There was a ghost there. I swear to God there was a ghost there. I'm going to get a drink while he explains it. I'm fucking, so I'm sitting there by myself. I'm waiting for Caleb to leave like this like e-sports thing he was at. And I, uh, I hear you do he was at an, at an esports event with a bunch of shows. He was like screaming at kids, dude. I was there with him for a couple minutes and it was just like, like, I don't, this is not, uh,

is not for me, but you know, it's cool people there, but... Cool, the cool kids. You like the kids? No, no, the little kids. Cool people, you like the little kids? Just like, uh, I'm just gonna ignore it. But, so I go to the, I was gonna go to...

Patrick got there, Patrick, I'm talking about the ghost. Do you guys talking about the ghost? Patrick was walking up to kids and be like, do you guys need a fifth? Like, I don't even know how to play this game, but I want to do teamwork with you so bad. Hey, I enjoy you. I would join the team. I love teamwork, I love sharing.

Patrick was, was cornering people's, saying my ultimate's ready No Oh you're talking about that thing Okay Yeah like you screaming at the kids That was the I realized that any The reason I like any sports

Is because like any screen That I can just scream at I mean we were like So this whole thing was like These two teams on like a stage And one team they brought like all their friends And these guys are like going insane And like every time they get a point

They're yelling And then the other side was just It was a valorant tournament It was a valorant tournament This other side was just How did you find out about this uh some guy just asked me on twitter to go and i was like sure i got a guy you hadn't met uh a friend of a friend okay he just was like yeah i'm in town doing this you want to come and i was like sure

and uh the other side of the of the stage was just this one kid on the team's mom and we were like we're going to that side and then those kids like destroyed the kids you brought all the like fucking friends and we were just like that was fun to watch yeah and just screamed just like it was like in good fun until we got there and we were like fuck you Fuck are you piece of shit Every single time that our team got a point And like we started freaking out the kids Who we were rooting for

Like we would scream So while that's going on I was like you know I don't fucking scream at sports shit So I was like this isn't for me I gotta go So I went to this bar And I'm sitting there like waiting for him to show up

And like there's like a fireplace Like from like where I'm sitting To where like A little bit past Cam is like right over there that's like where the fireplaces and this candle just like fell off of it and rolled onto the floor and just shattered and I was like

what the fuck just happened and the guy's like looking he's like did you do that? I was like no I didn't fucking like what's going on and I like look up and there's like a statue like staring straight at me and like a taxidermine animal on the wall I'm just like oh fuck one of these things is haunting me right now that sucks and I go to like pick it up and just like cut my finger on the thing oh wow the ghost cut your finger

The ghost tried to stab you didn't You didn't knock over a candle I didn't It sounds like a story where you knocked over a candle And then he was on the fireplace And then you are stupid A piece of gold Dude no I got on

Did you start running through the hallway going indoors And then outdoors over and over again It was crazy guy A piece of glass fell to the ground And a ghost turned it into a thousand pieces With magic Yeah That was before Caleb show

Oh yeah then I yeah I forget I like bought a white cloth the place next door and the bartender got mad at it

which was a weird move but yeah and who got mad at you the bartender he was a real piece of shit oh yeah yeah I think it was

a bartender at this esports event for children there was that too yeah and it was it was like all of the bartenders

had like in the exact same spot on their body the same Doctor Who tattoo pretty much oh like a Dalek or whatever

I think it was the phone booth Is that what they call it? I think that's what we're the little robot guys It really sounds like you know It sounds like you're the biggest guy What is it? Yeah I don't know I don't even know

The little monster that In season two episode five he fights Is that it? And just like to be funny Like who's your favorite doctor It's like your favorite episode Yeah just for Just as a gag

Like what's the best generation Who Yeah No, I wish I, I don't know, maybe, I probably would have gotten some joy from, you get, I, I, I never delved. I remember, uh, I remember when, like, Chris Hardwick used to talk about it all the time on, like, the nerdist podcast. Yeah. Back in the day. I remember.

Doctor who is horrible. I mean, that, like, there's other show, like Star Trek and stuff you can still watch and that'll be fun. But Doctor who is, Star Trek still, like, Star Wars, very bad. I fuck with that shit. That shit was fire back in the day. Honestly and shit Yo, what's your favorite generation though?

Yo, man, what? T and G, like, what's up? Yeah, like, who? What do you think of Odo? He sleeps in a bucket. What do you think about that? What's your thing? What do you think about Odo Odo?

He's like the, like, he's like the shapeshifter. Like, he's like the last of like a race of shape shifters, but then in season five that came back. Yeah, that's Deep Space Nine. Oh, yeah. I don't like any show with

More than, like, 15 episodes. Yeah. I'm just never going to... Except the Simpsons. Every season of Deep Space 9 is like 26 episodes. Yeah, I don't... I can't do that, man. No, I never... I was definitely a Star Wars kid.

Yeah, me too. Is it... What do I got over here? Do you have any... Do you have any... Oh, I have... Well, I have this. Oh, yeah, that's...

No, I got like... Thirstie. I got the Force unleashed here. You remember a Wado, yeah? Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah. No. How could you forget Wado?

He was like a, he was like a weird Jewish caricature. Oh, yeah, I remember that. Yeah, he was like, like, every other, yeah, Annie! Yeah, he was a hook-nose monster, who was very greedy. Yeah, yeah, slaves. Yeah, he was like a slave master to Anakin Skywalker. Yeah. Oh, I forgot that, yeah, that too.

Yeah, because there's like a line, it's such a fucking funny line read where, like, Quigong Jin is like telling Anakin he's like free and he's just like you're no longer a slave yeah he's just like

he's the one who's like credits you can't pay me credits and you don't work on yeah he's awesome dude they should have brought him

they should have done the Mandalorian with Wadow oh man I wonder I wonder what happens to Wado after episode two he doesn't show up ever again you should have done baby Wado and

oh yeah yeah Yeah, that thing would look fucked up. Yeah. Yeah, because he's got wings, too. Just starts, like, stripping the ship of all the metal. Just, like, taking it out of the walls. It'd be awesome. Damn.

All right. What's the list of the next year? Okay, so this was sent by a fan. I have, I have told you guys that I'm, you know, I'm a listener. And I do love that all of the lists are, uh, usually, this, this one is not written by a child. No. I don't know how much

they are. It usually is like I have, I mean, I've probably listened to like, maybe like 10 to 15 episodes at this point.

And it's almost always like, I'm always like, oh yeah, this list was written by like a 12 year old. Yeah, it's always a big, it sucks when I'm doing my job and the person we're making fun

of their name is like, Chris 2009. I know why it's 2008. Yeah, you are 12. But this one I think you said is not a child. than it is...

Well, it's the thing, whenever it's like, you know, like something like this, something's fucked up is gonna be in this. Like, what was that one,

the fuckable lesser apes? Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a classic, dude. Some made a list of monkeys they would fuck.

Yeah. Yeah. The thing about the, the ones that are written by kids is they're all from the same website, but we didn't know the website existed

like before we started the podcast. Yeah. Like, we just found that website. It's like, okay, I guess we have to do this every single episode.

It's the only, the only good one. also very easy. This was, this list was sent to us by Adam Online on Twitter, so thank you for this. This is from popxo.com. 15 dirty riddles with answers. Make him laugh and turn on with these sex

riddles by Sharon Alfonso. Sharon Alfonso. I love what I'm about to. Sharon Alfonso. Sharon Alfonso. That is not the name I expected from this friend. No, from this website, absolutely

love. Do you guys love when you're about to like eat a woman's pussy and she's like, he-he-he-hi-hi, I posit you this. That turns me on so hard It makes me laugh For a girl who likes to spice things up in the bedroom We know a few naughty, dirty riddles That will instantly get your man in the mood

They're not only sexy but hilarious at the same time From subtly getting the hint To tempting him to hop right in bed with you You must try these dirty sex riddles For your crushed boyfriend husband at least once This is like a cool thing for like people who like only fuck bridge trolls Yeah Yeah

This is really good if you're trying to fuck Gollum. Do you think Chris Charles like riddles, like, that's work to them? Do you think, exactly? You know, wouldn't they be like, can you just like knock it off, bitch,

for one night? That's my thing. A girl riddler. Yeah, maybe. You think that's the next one that they're going to die? A riddless. They got a riddlet.

A ridlet. That would be a child riddler, yeah? No. Wouldn't that be a... Oh, Patrick would love that. Oh, T, T, T.E. Damn it. He's just asking Pat, like, easy math questions

that you can't answer. Yeah, no, one, two, skip a few. Ask him these seductive, dirty riddles to get him in the mood. Are you ready to give them a shot? Awesome. Here are 15 sex riddles to ask your guy to get him in the mood and make him raffle. Woo him away with some funny, dirty, and clever riddles, Tigris. Tigris.

Number one. What the fuck? Number one. Oh, like, go, okay. Sorry, I just didn't understand the joke there. What? Like, go get him, Tiger. They said Tiger.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't think we can read this list. It's for women. You can read this list. Number one, you play with it at night, and it vibrates in your hand. What is it? Cell phone.

You look, you saw the answer. Is it? It's answer a cell phone. Oh. What were you thinking, eh? Wait, what? That's not like, you play with it at night. It's like a bait and switch thing.

Is that what all these are going to be? It's like, what are you fuck? ice cream and that's supposed to make you're supposed to be like all right let's hop a piece back I want to get your man

right now I'm going on my phone this is like the like I get to this is like a woman like a from like trying to write from like a woman's perspective but this is like a pickup artist's idea of like getting laid

is all about like doing the right like the right dialogue branch like in like Mass Effect being being just confusing yeah Exactly. Just making them feel completely crazy. What's that thing? It's like jester maxing or whatever is like... I don't think that's real.

You don't? That's like on the like some, I don't know, some in-cell thing where it's like, oh, like, looks maxing or jester maxing or whatever. But like maybe like riddles maxing. Maybe that's like a new thing. It's on some like in-cell forum for losers. Yeah. Some forum that I don't... I'm just, I'm checking it all. I'm beat every day.

god it's so funny to look at every day in the morning before i do anything else during the day oh my god okay number two now guess this time patrick don't okay you're not like to guess all of all right yeah i like that okay yeah number two you'll find them in different sizes if it's chilly outside it drips and if you blow it it feels like heaven what is it doesn't that sound sexual say it again you'll find them in different sizes if it's chilly sizes. If it's chilly outside, it drips. And if you blow it, it feels like heaven. What is it?

This is so easy, dude. Think about it. Okay, all right. So the obvious answer would be, because it says it's a sector, it will be your cock. Have you ever been outside when it was cold, and your cock just started dripping all over the place? Yeah. No matter. Do you think? Yeah. I guess

that's why you're answering is not made. Do you need the answer? What? When you blow it, it feels, is it cigarettes? We learned that Pat just blows into every sick. I know somebody who, I, like, they had been, they'd been, like, smoking weed since they were, like, 15. And I would watch them, and every time they would smoke weed, they would just, like, put it in their mouth, like a cigar, and then blow it out. And then I saw them at 22 years old when hanging out my brother, get high for the first time, because my brother was like, you're not even fucking inhaling it. And he was like, what do you mean?

He was like, you have to inhale the weed. And it, like, blew his mind. And I don't think he smoked wheat since that, actually. Damn. You need the answer, Pat? When you blow it, it feels amazing. You got, you got, you got, bring it outside it drips. You want to phone a friend?

No, I got this. You got three guesses for each of these. Okay, that's your last case. You're ready for the answer, Pat? Yeah, I know, I'm at a loss. On this. Answer, a nose, you dirty mind, wink. Well, what is it?

What's the, what? You blow your nose. And it drips when it's cold. And it feels like heaven when you blow it. If it's chilly outside, it drips. Is that about a... If you, you know, you know, it runs. No, obvious, yes.

But like, the way... No, but the way... It seems like you were stunked, my friend. The implication is that it's like, oh, this could be about something. Yeah, a nose isn't sexual to you? Well, what is the thing that's like, if it's chilly outside it drips? Yeah, a nose. Right, but like, why is it...

Yeah, I was... I guess, like, you're supposed to think it's a cock. Well, this is all, these are also, like, written by, like, a woman. This is not, I don't, I wouldn't fuck. This is not a, this is, like, this doesn't make me want to have sex. Yeah, you realize that the person you're about to fuck is just, like, completely just has to. Well, no, this is, I mean, you know, maybe, maybe you guys don't want to, but as this apiosexual, you know, be, being told a riddle. No.

Oh. Who? What the hell? Who is? I do love thinking about who Who is this woman? Who is this woman, Alfonso? Sharon Alfonso. Let's take a look at Sharon Alfonso here.

Does she have an Instagram? What did she, what else did she write? Why is it called Good Friday? And why do we celebrate it? Let's find out. You know, she's thinking about Good Friday. She was one of the tradcast at that bar. Can certain types of food?

Yeah, I have a journalism job. Yeah. Can certain types of food? The food cause hairfall? By the way, what comes when you suck on it? A popsicle. Yeah, lots of articles here by Sharon Alfonso. Google Sharon Alfonso.

Google Sharon Alfonso nude. Sharon Alfonso. There's no way that's a real name. No, that's also like a man who's named Alfonso. It's like, I need a girl pin name. Yeah. Seven genius ways to repress. purpose makeup products.

No thanks. All right, this is her most exciting article. Okay, Pat, are you ready for number three? Also, I want to, they have gifts in this article too. Really, really sexy gifts. Number three, unless you spread it, you can't enjoy it. What is it? Is peanut butter?

I don't know. Close. Oh, butter. You got it, dude. Oh, nice. Good one. answer. If you thought butter, then you're correct. And look at this. Are you looking for Sharon?

Yeah. Oh, what the fuck? Oh, that's. She does have an Instagram? That's fully, it's fully not a pseudonym. Dude, he's in love. Is she beautiful? This is, Brandon's in love with Sharon Alfonso. This is her on, I mean, this can't be her, right?

That's her. But also, how many women are there named Sharon Alfonso? Oh, nah, this is, if this bitch tried to tell me riddles. No. No. Yeah, she would have to be really hot for me to say yes to that, honestly. Yeah, I don't know. If you said yes to a riddle, you'd be wrong.

Oh. Nah. I'm sorry. Sorry, Sharon. Patrick, do you like this gif here? Does that get you excited for the next riddle? It's really sexy. Oh, dude, it's making me want to bust.

Number four. Oh, Christ. Number four. Oh, this gift is repeating so good. Oh. what's long and hard and has the word come in it okay vacuum that's that's a pretty good guess actually oh right but also like my penis doesn't have the word yeah i think they they dropped the ball there by saying the word come yeah they just said come oh you know this one come come come come this is easy

like c o m or c um baby yeah come on oh fuck i actually don't know this long wait are you literally seriously serious? Are you stupid? What the fuck? I get a little bit. Just guess something. Well, I'm trying to think of words with cum. Yeah, just guess something. Vacuum was a good guess. Yeah. Oh, this one's obvious. Brother, what the fuck?

Are you... Dude, it's your cumber. Yeah. My cumber. My cum stick. It's cum shooter. Come on. Yeah, it's cucumber. There you go. Answer, a cucumber. Duh. It even said, Duh.

I was trying to think of like, because I was like, no, there's no way it's like a food. Right. Like, long and hard. She says a cucumber, duh, and you're like, You think you're fucking smarter than me? Bitch, get out.

Number five, it has two feathery hoops and is used to chain you in bed. What is it? It's a dream catcher. It's not a dream. What is that? You think a dream catcher

like magically? It finds you to your bed. You think it's like a fairy circle. It's an enchantment. It catches your dreams. Yeah. So it's kind of good about something. I guess.

Yeah, I lie there. I'm like, I'm not getting out of bed until I have a dream. If I don't dream, it doesn't count. And it chains you to your bed. I like that these also aren't riddles. They're just things. There's questions. Yeah.

Was it a pillow? No. A pillow doesn't change your chair. It has feathers. I mean, I will say, I don't know many. things that chained me to my bed. Yeah. No, that also have two feathered hoops.

Well, I mean, you guys get to know the answers. I can't even, I know the answer. I can't work further away than you are. I can't read shit. Do you guys know it? I know it. I read it. I genuinely do not know. What is this one?

You can be really mad about this one. Yeah. You want to know what it is? Answer, a pair of sexy handcuffs, of course. What? What are you? You can't. No!

No! No! Fuck you! You can't fuck you, Sharon Alfonso. A pair of sexy handcuffs. of course. Yeah, it's switched. You can't fucking

baiting switches like that. Yeah. Because now I have to, every other one like cucumber? Yeah. Yeah. This is fucking bullshit. Yeah.

It's, dude, that's the mark of a clever riddle master. Always keeping you on your toes. God damn it. I fucking hate riddles, dude. God,

I'm such a rube. I can't do riddles. What? That is, that is a huge bait and switch. Yeah. You just like have like an answer that's like,

well, a hard penis to wet pussy. Yeah. Obviously. gigantic boobies What smells like pussy? Answer

Pussy Fuck I got owned But Sharon Yeah What are the answers Is Sharon? I can't believe Yeah

What tastes amazing And you're never gonna see it Sharon's pussy Yeah Are you ready for the next one here? Number six What holds your buns

Firmly and makes them Look round and pretty? What? All right This bitch is stupid. It's underwear. No. It's pretty much.

Yeah. What is it? Answer, nope. It's not a hair tie. It's your old friend the thong. Ah. Your old friend. Your old friend the thong.

So if you have to guess your old friend the thong or it's not correct. Yeah. If you just say the thong, it doesn't count. You know, Sharon has some weak pussy for this. I absolutely do. Oh, my God. Oh, this is goddamn. He's still on her Instagram.

what the fuck oh dude she's uh yeah she's engaged oh no oh yeah i'm gonna send i'm gonna send this article to her husband and be like do you know what she's been writing oh i mean

get her under control oh but i'm looking at this guy and it's like i you know he's not he's not neither of them are bringing much to the table i mean this guy is you come on no yeah no he looks pretty bad

I think he looks I think they look nice together I think they look like shit they should get a divorce I honestly think so I think they should have a kid and get a divorce just so it's harder

I always look like that I think that's a really good idea what the fuck does this mean that's so mean to say this is a selfie where she's like I think she's looking at Nice. And it says, I'm defending Sharon.

It feels good. Sharon 2.0. Damn, Sharon hit the upgrade. Oh, my gosh. What's Sharon's next riddle? Sharon's next riddle is, what's the white, sticky stuff most girls like, but instead of swallows, spits out? All right.

I know it's not cum, because girls hate gum, dude. True. You really, like, tipped it there. Come on, dude, you got this. They spit it out. Yeah. Gum? Yeah, it's not gum, believe it or not.

That's what I would have thought it was. Marshmallow fluff. Spitting out like a semoye. I love a fluff or not her sandwich, but I hate having to spit out all the fluff. Separated from the peanut butter. I wish it was edible. That's the only problem. Spitting out.

Teeth. The white sticky stuff is teeth. Dude, fluff or not her sandwiches like, I remember the fattest kid at my school ate them every day for lunch And I was like... Yeah, the thing is, it's good, but like, if you can eat it and not... It's not something you eat every day.

I mean, it's funny gummy worms, too. If you can eat it, like, more than one day in a row and, like, feel okay, there's a, there's a... But just imagine, like, having, like, a... Like, I remember, he had, like, a hot mom. Imagine being, like, a, like, a, uh, an in-shaped, like, older woman with a kid with, like, who's, like, pre-diabetic.

And every day, waking up early to make him a fluffer another sandwich before school. That's just like, you've got to be, she might have a feeding thing. Oh, my God. We can't talk about it. No, we've already talked about moms with feeding things on the podcast last episode. Oh, yeah, is it? The fucking diaper thing.

A lot of people are mad at us for reading that story on the show. Nobody's mad, everybody's happy. They're all wimps. I say, you know, grow up. I say y'all need to get some pussy. Except different lifestyles. And you've been like, yeah, sure. Then you need to grow up.

Yeah, that's called a fluff or nutter. Yeah, if you've never shed on the ground during sex, you need to grow up. He's not even just getting up in the middle of it. You're going back to it. No, you're like fucking...

Just fucking just sitting all over the ground during a hand job. I'm so sorry. I lost control. treating it being like just as bashful as like when a woman squirts being like oh I'm sorry

do you have do you have towel I'll clean it up I'm sorry this doesn't sorry this never happens I creamed my bad

oh fuck I'm gonna squirt oh god there's a horrible shit it's a really long it's a really enough time between you saying I'm gonna squirt

and then actually shitting on the floor that she's like is that do they do this? Oh fuck there's diarrhea on the floor fuck dude you need the answer

for this one what the white sticky stuff is you want to know? Oh yeah I forgot I never got the answer right a toothpaste I was gonna fucking say it too

I don't think toothpaste is that sticky though no one enjoys like most girls guys do it too wait the joke is that like I don't know Is it imply that some people enjoy swallowing toothpaste?

Some people do. Do you? Some people do. Okay, next real. He was like, I got to go get a drink. He came back. Big old glasses. This is called it.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm like trying to play it off like it's milk. I keep being like, this milk's real stiff. What the fuck? This milk, it like doesn't move. Is that weird? It's a weird optical. Glass is so weird.

This optical illusion where it looks like it's not moving at all. Looks like it is little blue and red stars in it. It's very funny to me that like the...

It already would be weird if you walked back with a glass like that. True. Yeah. From Patrick's house. Like that's just normal.

Yeah. You know your fridge. You know there's not milk. No, there's no milk in there at all. I think it's funny that the solution to like people

swallowing toothpaste was they made toothpaste toothpaste like you can swallow it now. Yeah. You know, they make a old toothpaste where you can just tank

it, dude. Just gulp it down. And what's it called? I might be hungry later. What goes in hard and comes out wet, squishy, and sticky. Spaghetti. No. Oh, that makes sense. That's actually a great answer.

You might be smarter than Sharon Alexander. It goes in hard and comes out wet, sticky, squishy and sticky. And what else would it be? What is it, is it, is it going to be like, Bucatini, you dummy?

It's two pieces of spaghetti. Come on, you got this, man. We're all living for you. Okay, phone a friend. Yeah, I got you. Battery. What? The battery.

How? I mean, that's just, you fucking called me, asshole. God damn it It sucks I used that up I can't use that again Nope Goes in hard

Comes in What's sticking We could I got a I got a piss Can we Can we Yeah we

Don't say the answer Okay Okay So yeah Go ahead I said just the most I was Like

I was like So like We're getting drinks And I was like Asking my roommate Neal if he was like Leaving Just turned to me

And went out Mud He said, there's mud and our water? I was like, what are you talking about? And he just kept asking, you know, we're over and then he just kept asking mud and our water. And then, and then he said, you didn't know? And then we were like, what are you saying to? And we're like, what are you saying to?

And he's like, oh, I thought you said there was mud to no water. It must be crazy to be like your roommate and just hear this all the time. Yeah. Yeah. But I thought I was just having a stroke. Like, I was like, I was so confused. Like, what the fuck? I was holding the Brita filter, too.

He was just going to mud in our water. He just put a bunch of mud in there. He's like, oh, yeah, I just let me know before I go. I put a bunch of mud in the britt. I want to see if it gets the dirt out. Yeah, I made a bunch of mud, but I want the dirt back. Don't they have that, and don't they have, like, black water with dirt in it that you can drink? Oh, it's a charcoal water.

Oh, that's a charcoal water. Oh, that's a charcoal water. Oh, that's a charcoal. Yeah, but like that doesn't... It probably tastes weird, right? I don't know. Does it make your mouth black? Yeah, a little bit.

Like when you eat ink? Did you ever do that? You ever put ink in your mouth? No, I've never eaten ink. It's pretty funny. It'll make your mom real mad. Yeah, I mean it. All right, wait, what was the...

It goes in hard, it comes out wet, sticky, and... Squishy. Squishy. I'm just going to tell you the answer here. It's a hot dog. It's not a hot dog. It's... bubble gum. Oh, fuck off.

Come on, bitch. It's not hard. Just put a picture of your pussy on the website. No. No, I can't. Just please. Can we just please scroll down and for once not get a Chris Evans gift and then just get like a hardcore, just something going into your vagina. Please, Sharon. Don't not, don't ask her. Come on. Why?

What? It's very rude. She's asking me all these fucking questions. All right. What's the next riddle? Number nine, you can't taste it until you undress it. What is it? ranch I guess anything in a package yeah

can't taste until you undress it probably in a banana it's a banana take a hit come on why do you honestly why do you think that's there

yeah that's good the guy the guy on the blow off duster he's praying so it's like a picture of a computer dusting himself with very buff white man

arms can you imagine how he walks just with his arms so it's basically like the way that it's set up is like the keyboard like looks like it's dick and he's just spraying computer duster on where his penis should be raising his eyebrows and kind of

smirking like that's cold yeah all right that's fine yeah sorry yeah so you got distracted No, it's important. I want to do more inhalants. I think that's the next drug for me. You can hit that duster. I guess I could.

The thing is, like, I would need to do some research and find out what the, like, best one is. Yeah, I'm in my inhalant era. Yeah, exactly. Make the worst music ever. Yeah, just if, like, if, like, David Bowie got into, like, inhalants. Yeah. That'd be fucking sick, dude.

You just make a music. Blah, blah, blah. Oh, yeah. You're doing a cover of popping a gula. that should be the next like the next drug that like rappers get into you know what I mean yeah like we should like NBA young boy should sir making music on that'd be sick I think they should be glue yeah I think that they should be like constantly on whippets while they're recording so they have to yeah they have to to rap well on whippets I think that'll be

really good is rap game tricky oh oh it's like just trying to rap on whip is just like And then helium, which only has the funny effect. There's no drug effect. Yeah. Well, you know, Belak. True, yeah. That's true. Yeah.

All the perfume and the helium. It really got to him. Mm-hmm. Number 10, you have to blow it to play with it. What is it? Balloon. Answer, did you think balloon too? Same pinch.

Motherfucker. What is it? Balloon. Oh. I thought it wasn't. I thought you're saying It wasn't a balloon No, it said

You don't have to blow my penis To play with it Yeah Like it just is You can play how everyone I can play with it right now I'll show you guys You don't have to do anything to

There's millions of different play style So that's what makes it so incredible It's true, yeah Yeah God damn She sucks for this This list This list feels like

Being on an airplane Yeah You know Yeah, absolutely Yeah Yeah, it also feels like you're like, like, speaking of on an airplane, this would be like one of the five internet pages you can access for free on an American Airlines plane. Right.

You join the Wi-Fi, and it's like, depersonalize it. Check this out. Yeah. What's the next riddle? Next riddle is, I end with ORN and start with P, and I'm a major player in the film industry. Popcorn. Oh, God. It's popcorn.

That one's just lazy. This is not. Oh, my God. Check this picture out. That's pretty good, right? It's a picture of, oh, God. Yo, guys, this sucks, right?

My dick is just so hard. It looks like a rock hard cock. Somehow, yeah, just like a cartoonishly large penis. The only giant boner you've ever had, you're knocking things over in the room. What's wrong with these? I've knocked down all of Patrick's skateboards. Like, this isn't, this isn't funny or sexy.

I'm doubled over laughing. It's somehow both to you, yeah Yeah We realize one of your legs is just your cock Yeah Yeah Number 12 I have a stiff shaft

My tip penetrates I come with a quiver What am I? Bow and arrow An arrow Dude you are getting so good at this Dude Sharon would seriously suck your cock Come on man

You mean it Yeah do you guys still get boners in the mornings just random just crazy boners yeah yeah dude they've been on the yeah it doesn't stop oh yeah they tell you it stops yeah because no it doesn't stop every time someone talks about they're like yeah it was crazy when I was 13 I was getting boners like what just happens more free well I'll be in the DMV hardest dick I've ever had

just like fucking like impressive to me on the the plane over here oh the put dude I get a fucking huge bar yeah plan nap got a fucking mass of bone Yeah, waking up with it sucks Yeah Well, I woke up From a nap

Yeah On the plane I'm also always sitting Next to like A big fat guy Whose belly is going Over the armrest And so like

If he sees Like I'm, I'm toast Like he's gonna be like This guy wants to fuck My belly button Oh dude I would just for the story Yeah

Or I'm like watching like pixels With fucking Adam Sandler On the headrest Doesn't Josh Gadd Fuck Miss Mattman in that movie Oh Josh Gad

Gadd fucks Is it Is it mis-pack? No, it's like one of the... Oh, Cubert. Cuberb? Okay. But isn't it...

It's like a burdo type thing. Doesn't it become Ashley Benson or something? Oh, right. Yeah, something like that. So it's like that... I'm pretty sure. But what if she turned back in the middle? You know Ashley Benson?

What she... I remember, I think. She's the blonde girl in Spring Breakers. Yeah. Oh, okay. She's the one that's... Yeah, you remember... Yeah.

Yeah. I have eyes only for Heather Graham as far as, like, women in movies. oh yeah oh we were talking about heather graham the other day it's just so funny that she's like we were yeah we were you've had a long weekend yeah it's so funny that there was just like six years we we're like god we need a woman's boobs in this movie Heather Graham let's get Heather Graham she's like oh yeah that was sleep on the floor in the living room yep yeah oh the viral tweet no no it was the second time so he came and I was worse the third time it was so fucked up

because there was the one picture of you fallen it was you were asleep on the floor and then the other one and I saw it and that somebody posted it and I could tell that it was a picture of your living room and I was like I can't I can't reply I'm like hey man what's going on this is your living room boy so he had that thing where he fell sleep on a person's floor and then two nights later we're watching awesome powers here at his own home no that's like a week after and he gets no this was like three days later and then he gets on the floor and falls asleep five feet outside of this bedroom that we're in right now.

He just, like, couldn't make it. And he was talking to me while he was falling asleep, and he was like, yeah, Austin Power is, is Patrick. Oh, man. And he's just gone. Patrick. Yeah. And I think he had one beer that night.

No. I'm pretty sure he had a single beer. Yeah. It was served you in a giant glass boot. Yeah. It was like the stock, like the, the Christmas story lamp. I was walking around with that, just like, oh. Yeah.

I love beer. Did you dream about Austin Powers that night? No, I just woke up on the floor. I had no dream, brain shut off. Is that just like a, it's like part of your morning routine now? Like, if you don't wake up on the floor, do you get off of your bed, get on the floor, and then get back up? You're asking me that because I told you I do that. Oh, my God, he just told me.

He was doing the, like, talk show host thing. Yeah. Like, you fed me that line earlier. There was a pre-interview. I understand that you've been getting on the floor from the reason in the mornings. He did, I forgot, yeah, you just told me that. If I'm, like, hung over. Dude, I don't know what it is.

Why do you love that damn floor so much? It's colder down there? You should be a janitor. Yeah. Well, you know, that's the thing. Like, when I was in high school, like, I had to live in a hotel for, like, like, God, like, might have been. Five days. It might have been two hours, three hours on this vacation.

One night in Myrtle Beach, I had to live in a hospital. hotel was horrible whole month of march till i graduated high school like my senior year and i like you know it's like my my fucking family's like a lot of people there's like no room for yeah yeah there's only like two bedrooms there and i like by choice would sleep in this bathtub in a bathtub you slept yeah i just sleep in the bathtub just because like the couch wasn't comfortable what oh man yeah damn bro well because you know my brother had the my older brother had the air mattress Yeah

And you know Like getting It'd be funny to be your mom Waking up for school Every single morning It just looks like Whitney Houston's like Dead seen

She's walking out It's just like Mountain Dew bottles and shit Yeah I don't know I just Beds aren't comfortable for me Yeah they're not hard

Yeah Yeah All men have one Some got long Some got small The Pope Never uses his And a man

gives it to his wife After getting married Wait, the Pope uses his cock. He, like, pisses, right? Is it a... No, he doesn't. Really? No, that's what the hat's for.

It stores it. Is his second bladder up there? Yeah. Is it a ring? Why would it be a ring? Yeah, that's what it... All men have a ring. Every man has at least one ring.

It's got a spider on it. True, that is cool, yeah. What's your answer? What does the Pope not use? His cock. We do... No, he Oh my god

He's being so confused by the riddles He's losing motor controls Oh fuck Which way is up Oh no I don't know What I give up

You need the answer His last name Oh What do you mean get long What? Some get small Some people have long last names And some have

small ones. Yeah, but they don't become smaller over time. Some got long, some got small. Yeah. I don't know what to tell you, man. Some got long and some got small. No, no, no, no, no.

This, fuck this riddle, because it should say some have them, like, have them long, some have them small. Sharon's stupid. How many fucking times you have to go over there? All right, what's the next one? Before Sharon lets you hit,

you have to answer a 20 riddle. And then she says they're grading for two hours. It's a little to scan, trying to mix it a lot easier. All right. We're home stretch here. Number 14.

What is soft and wet on the inside while being hard and hairy on the outside? Oh, shit. The word begins with C, ends in T, and there's a U and N between them. Oh, God. This one feels too complicated. Also, our vagina is like hard as steel on the outside. It's like a bear track. Oh, really?

Yeah. Bear trap. We're just soft on the inside. It's a carapist. Nobody's using the word cunt in like a sexual. context. You don't? Everyone's Jack Nicholson and the Departed.

Fuck my hard cunt. That's the funniest part of the departed is that like they're trying to make Jack Nicholson a tough guy and they're like, yeah, like a tough Boston guy. What would he say if he was talking about sex? He'd be like, yeah, I'd get cunt.

Oh, yeah. Only one dude. I would not say that. What? So gross. Yeah. Yeah. I found it hard to get cunt.

Wait, hold on. Okay. Hold on. It's, the answer is Chewbacca. Obviously. It's hairy Has The letters for cunt in it

Patrick's like adding things He smells like Arby's like Yeah what Read it again What is soft and wet on the inside While being hard and hairy on the outside The word begins with C ends and T And there's a U and N in between them

Come on dude You've got this This would be the ultimate bait and switch If it's just cunt That would be so good I wish Is the answer obvious? I don't think so

There's too much spelling here For it to be obvious But the spelling is what's throwing me off Yeah You want the answer? Yeah I'm done with this fucking thing A coconut

Wow That's actually pretty good Answer a coconut By the way What popped up in your head You know You can fucking know what you've done All right

Is that Russell Brand? I think that's actually that's Keegan Michael Keith I think that is let's see let me look let me get a little closer

but not too close yeah it's Keegan Michael Keith yeah Keegan Michael Key dressed up as Ozzy Osbourne Who is that? Who is this fucking guy Who is this person

television show that's what it says here Kegan Michael Key was on a television show It's only it's true true i don't know true jarina i don't know if that's the name i don't know what's going on that's a different guy

there's all these are all different wait a second yeah oh and it's also it's also used in other like weird yeah it's very mysterious yeah what the fuck i don't know who the the true gerriana no jiriana is it true is his name true jerry

Tell me that doesn't look like Keegan Michael Key. It does. It does. It does. You don't know what you're talking about, dude. No, he's right for that. I'm just so spot on today. Fuck. All right. You ready for your last road, Pat? Yes.

What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked. What did they say about breasts? What the hell? What are breasts? Wait, say it one more time. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked.

Oh, I know this one. This one's easy, dude. Come on, you got this. You can do this. I believe in you. Like a pen, maybe? Yeah, everybody else knows the answer except for you. Yeah.

You look so stupid right now. Sharon's never going to fuck you. I'm now just confused about the fit snugly in breasts thing That's one of the big clues So it has something to do with boobs No No it fits snugly between breasts It doesn't make a whole lot of sense

Oh it's chicken Is it? Let's see Is it chicken? It's not chicken What else could it be other than a seatbelt? Oh, fuck off. I would like to come out and say to everybody,

I thought that it was chicken. And I was like, Pat, you fucking idiot. You don't know that it's chicken. Fuck, dude. Because the jerk thing. Yeah. Breasts neatly into a hole. Yeah, pulled.

Like, at least you're all kinds of chicken that you can eat. My mouth. Yeah. He's demonstrating. Tell me that doesn't look like a hole. That's a good chicken hole. If I was a chicken, I would love to slide in there. Yeah.

I would love to have you. So, did you find these dirty riddles funny, too? Because we sure did. Ask him these and have some fun moments followed by some uncontrolled passion. Yeah, I'm going to fucking, oh, what fits snugly between breasts? First, no reason at all. Do you guys want to all have sex together with you? All right.

It's not horny at all. Okay. what we're done here what Brandon plug your stuff here listen to yeah but so

you know check out Bernie Mac show Brandon Wardell is coming out of the reboot yeah gonna be playing

Bernie yeah I'm excited for that man you're gonna kill it I think you strike that that perfect balance

you know what I mean of like funny but intellectual right yeah like Bernie yeah people

People know, yeah, I'm a good, I'm a good father. Yeah. Yeah. You look like a father. I've adopted your sister's kids. Yeah. That was really sweet. Yeah.

To prepare for the role. Yeah. It'd be funny to like your sister's going through a really hard time. And so you like kind of adopt her kids and you just rename all of them. Yeah. Beyonce, Drake, Eminem, Justin Bieber. Cameron Jr., Cameron the third. My sister is going through a hard time.

so I adopted all of her kids and I made them wear dumb hats with their names of them yeah these are my four kids are all named dunce as you get to their hat

yeah yeah I don't know I don't really have anything to I guess like I posted I just like self-release some stand-up stuff on YouTube

so that's you know you're just go to people know where to find me on the computer YouTube.com yeah slash info

slash 22 yeah Or you can find him right now at 22. Stop, stop. Yeah. Thank you, Brandon. Yeah, thank you.