Podcast About List - Ep. 161 - Sonic‘s Pocket (w. Jubio)

Episode Date: September 8, 2021

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You're listening to Israel's number one podcast. All the Counts to the Monoliths. You're a crap monster. Oh, okay. We're back on the computer this episode. It's because we're calling into a man. Oh, man, he's on his private jet. He couldn't be tied down tonight.

He's in his private submarine. Yeah. What's up? I'm swimming. You're swimming right now? My submarine swims? You think a submarine swims? Yes.

I don't think he knows. He doesn't have to know what a submarine does. Does a car walk, you idiot? No, it runs. Oh. That's actually true. Oh, fuck me. I'm also the smartest man alive.

You are. That's why you're so rich and you have a submarine. Jubio is with us this week because he is going to be taking over the, the, for the most part, the Twitch channel. And, uh, wanted to get the word out. We're doing the classic thing of just having, hiring a Mexican guy to do something we don't want to do. It's just like one of the best moves, honestly. Yeah.

I'm so glad that we got to the point that we were able to do that. Yeah. I mean, I never thought we'd make it. Right. Never thought we'd make it, but, you know, here we are. And I, I was, I was like, this is, maybe this is a. a great idea. And then I remembered my dad's back deck is like immaculate.

Yeah. And he kind of did the same thing. It's really advanced stuff. So I'm hoping... Look, as a... Building decks. No, don't do that. No. That's not what I mean. Okay.

Yeah. No, don't do racist shit. That's going to get... I'll be streaming... Woking a Taco Bo. No, you... In Queens. They don't even... Oh, please do... Please move to New York City. What do I have to do?

Move to New York and you work at the Taco Bell and we get free Taco Bell. That would be so incredible. I mean, it also would work with any other fast food restaurant, but it should be Taco Bell. Yeah. Why should it be Taco Bell camera? Because he just, you know, there's just something about the Taco Bell. What do you mean? There's just something delicious about Taco Bell food and the people that make it.

What kind of people make Taco Bell food? Just like these crazy people. just these crazy weird people I actually brought I brought Jubio to the Taco Bell for the first time in his life and he hated it it was like so upsetting

I honestly thought he was going to be like this is beast this is exactly what Mexican food is like I said it was fine I liked it I don't think you finished your fucking burrito dude I was like still hungry I was like

you threw something away I did not You did. Such a liar. No, I had a crunch wrap, whatever it's called. Whoa. You didn't forget. You didn't remember crunch rap and forget Supreme.

Yeah, that one. I had a cassidia and the soda, the green soda. I had the green soda. Baja Blast. I went in there, I can have the green thing, and they gave me a big, big bottle of green stuff. They don't give you a bottle. It's true. They don't give you a bottle it, dude.

You have to admit Baja Blast is really fucking good. And that they should, that should be a Mexican food staple, I think. Uh, yeah, I like it. It's just like Haritos. Haritos? It's pretty, see, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm Colombian now. Oh, yeah. Last night I learned, uh, a man came up to me at a bar last night, uh, pointed at me and said,

you're Colombian. And then for like 20 minutes just kept trying to talk to me about being Colombian. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I think Caleb probably remembers more than I do. But I sat there for like... He talked about Colombian being Colombian for a minute. And then he turned to me and started saying,

Manipakio. Number one, Mani Pachio. No, no, no. He wasn't saying, he was saying Menipakio Basura. What does that mean? Manipakio Basura. What does that mean? The Mani Pachio's trash.

What? Really? Yeah, I know, I know Basura. I don't know any other... I don't know a lot of Spanish. And then he tried to box me. Oh, yeah, he was trying to box me. you at the bar in the portrait of box and what do you say this do you look at cal and was like

this guy's a filippino and i hate i think he maybe thought that pat was columbian i'm philippino he thought no he thought i was columbian and just kept in he was adamant that i was columbian and was only speaking to me in spanish and i kept saying like hey no ablo no ablo uh i'm irish i'm a i'm a hundred percent irish yo so irish yeah yo so irish no ablo no ablo and he just would not he just was just, like, did not accept that I wasn't Colombian. I thought he looked at my, he looked at my roommate, Alex, pointed him and said, Venezuelan, and then, he. This guy's just like fucking, like, yeah.

He's just a geogessor with all the people. He found the real life they live classes. He knows the truth. He knows that I'm secretly Filipino. Yeah. Yeah. Caleb, what do you miss the most of the Philippines? Uh, the chocolate.

Chocolate Yeah I don't think they have that Okay Then the The sandwiches You know You know

Cuba has the Cuban And every other Every country has to have a sandwich It's just named after the country The Philippine? It's just one It's one sandwich It's the Philippine

The Philippa It's actually The Philippines It's a It's a pizza that has It's got spaghetti and fried chicken on it. It's a sandwich with spaghetti and barbecue sauce and skittles on it.

It is funny that somebody, like somebody who is inventing all the food in the Philippines watched Elf with Will Ferrell and was like, yeah, we're going to make all that food he makes. All the, all the, like, maple syrup, spaghetti and shit. That's going to be, like, our whole thing. I think that didn't happen. I think Filipino food is the best. They're the best fried chicken, I think. You're telling me that Will Ferrell ripped off the Philadelphia.

I don't think so. I don't think so, man. I don't think a Colombian. I don't think of where the Philippines exists. You have to defend... Columbia is nowhere near fucking... I have to defend the Philippines. Why?

As a Colombian. You are stupid. I'm not stupid. What, do you think I'm stupid just because I'm Colombian now? No, you're not Colombian. I'm Colombian. I'm full Colombian now. The most popular Filipino foods.

The most popular Filipino... The most popular Filipino... Candy canes, candy corns. Pinned my right? Hey. This is a little. It looks good. What is pin-a-pig? What is a pig-type deal?

No, it's like rice. We're getting into the list too quick. You know where I went to this? I went to that dim sum place that we went when you were in town. Oh, you went to China? I went to China. Because there's a part of Queens that is just, it's literally China. Like, it's not like Chinatown.

You're in a whole different world. It rules. And I went to this place called Asian Jules. And it was so good when Jubio was in town and we went. And I went today. And do you remember they, you were, ordered off like a menu when we went. Yeah.

Yeah. So this time I walked in, they sat us down, and immediately, like, a lady came by with, like, a cart, like, I was on a train, and handed, just handed me. I had no choice. She just started putting, like, giant, like, shrimp meatballs all over the table. That's how dumb stuff works. They asked you what you want, and you say no. They didn't ask me what I wanted at all.

You could have said no. That's how it works. I did say no, because she was just piling the same shrimp meatball over and over and over again. Like, she thought it was my favorite food in the world. And I, like, we ordered, like, fucking 12 of these, I guess. She must have thought they were Filipino. That's a classic

Filipino dish. Well, yeah, it must be that. But once it was on the table, I can't be like, hey, well, you put this back in the cart. Like, I don't want to eat, like, 50 shrimp meatballs. So I've just felt like shit all day. I've just had, like, shrimp in my stomach all day long. Dude, I, I, I, I had a shrimp

incident, too. I, uh, do tell. Yeah, I had a shrimp incident. I went to the grocery store, and they had, like, a thing of saviche in a plastic, like, one of those, like, the grab-and-go fridge. Oh, I bought Savi-go-Chi. I bought Saviche from the Grab-and-Go, and then ate it, and the shrimp was just, like, mealy, and, like, it dissolved in my mouth, and I was like, I can't eat that. And I spent, like, $5. on it and, like, had a throw-out.

Cold shrimp is pretty fucked up. These meatballs looked like, it looked like it was like, it was like a creature. Like the, one of them still had, like, a tail poking out of the top. Well, that's a garnish. The tail is a garnish. No, no, it was like stuck, it was like a full shrimp that didn't get mashed up in the meatball. Oh, okay.

Sticking out. Like a, uh, yeah, I think it had an, I think there was a big eye on one side as well. A shrimp eye? No, a human eye. A human eye. Yeah. Yeah. That a shrimp had?

A shrimp with a human eye was poking out of your meatball. Yeah, pretty much. It was very scary. And there were a hundred of them on your table? There was 100 to 100,000. And they each had an eye and a tail? Yeah, they each had an eye and they looked at me, and they were talking to me the entire time. And I ate so much of it.

Why do you keep eating it? Because I was like, I'm going to fucking, okay, here's the fucked up part. I was like, oh my God, dude. They put so much food on this table. Like, I have to eat it all because this has got to be like $200 worth of food. You ate it? I ate like as much as I could. I like stuffed myself with these disgusting cold shrimp meatballs.

And then I get to the front and I hand the guy by ticket and he like does some math, hands it back. The entire thing was $28. Whoa. I got to fucking, I got to go to this place. Like we didn't eat like half of these fucking shrimp. No, don't go there. I'm saying do not go there. Why? It's good. It's good.

It was fucking evil today. They did something. And also, it was so, it was suspicious because it was suspicious. At some point, this was what was suspicious about it. At one point, you know, we're sitting there eating our shrimp meatballs. And then I look up and I notice that everybody else is eating like delicious noodles. Like, nobody else has anything even remotely

close to what we had. They didn't give us a, like, everybody else had a menu. that they were looking at. So we walked in, sat down, and then they just, like, dumped the, like, bad shrimp on our table and loved. You might have sat at the bad food table. I must have sat at, like, a shrimp, like, the shrimp-themed table or something. Like, the shrimp lover's delight is what I, like, actually ordered.

They should have that, like, at, like, different restaurant. Yeah, like, you should, like, walk into McDonald's and you sit at a table, and it's like, oh, if you sit at this table, they bring you, like, five McChickens. That's, like, the McChicken table. You could sit at that way, you never have to look at the menu or go order. You just sit where you want the food from You just get McChiccichens Just keep coming

You could get up and move If you wanted something different Don't you think that those other people At the table eating, you know, noodles Maybe ask for those noodles I didn't know that that was an option I was sure You didn't know you can you stalked to the server

Like hey I couldn't I was buried in shrimp I literally they couldn't hear me if I yelled I was stuck they needed to call the fire department I was covered in shrimp I swear to God It was a fucking nightmare and then there was like one thing

that didn't have shrimp in it and we all just like fought over it like it was like a big point of contention at the lunch oh wait you like you didn't get anything but shrimp is what you're saying it was literally all shrimp actually the one thing that I said I'd be in heaven it was it was

sharp mu shumai it was shumai which is is like shumai shrimp shumai has shrimp in it yeah it's what I'm saying it was pork with like a little less shrimp on it than most of the other shit, but it was still shrimp-y and it just, dude,

I, like, walked around, like, smelling my own burps and, like, wanting to vomit all day. Dude, I fucking, I love eating, like, shrimp is my favorite food. Shrimp is, like... Put you through the shrimp gauntlet. Shrimp is one of those fucking, yeah, I will take you there and put you through the $30

shrimp gauntlet. I'll fucking, I'll pass with flying colors. You will not defeat the boss level. I will defeat the boss level of shrimp. No, no, no, no, no. I feel like if I had eaten the entire thing like they would have brought out like a like a

like a shrimp yeah like the shrimp from like the like Bubba Gump logo oh my God I did that thing in a heartbeat are you kidding me? Defeat and fight I'd fucking I'd destroy that thing Patrick you got to Bubba Gump with me

in Cancun? Yes I would love to Oh my God I went to So I think I've talked about this before but I went to a Bubba Gump in Universal Studios Orlando

with my ex-girlfriend and it was just like me and her and then like this Australian family the way that Bubba Gump works is they put you in a different

section like quadrant section things like there's like different spots in bubblegum So it's like the shrimp zone it's the same system from the dim sum place where you sit

that's where they bring out of those well no it's just like a weird thing where they put us in this like room, and it was just me and this, me, my ex-girlfriend at a table, and then an Australian family. I might have just been in a Bubba Gump in China. This is the worst dim sum

ever. But, it was us at this fucking Bubba Gump, and we're in this room, and the, you know, at Bubba Gump, it's, it's a forest Gump themed restaurant. So, like... Do people think you work there?

Yes. No, they, uh, they, uh, they, the waiter comes out and starts like he's like all right well you know while you wait um you know they're playing like forest gump on every tv we're like watching it uh while you wait we can do uh some forest gump trivia and he starts like doing trivia the fucking australian family has never seen forrest gump so it's me and it's just my table and this family who has never seen forrest gump I find out then she is also never seen Forrest Gump so I had to just do Forrest Gump trivia

by myself until I got my food So you did work there Yeah how how dare they You don't get to go over there I feel like if you didn't want to do the trivia You could have just stayed silent I don't think you had to do trivia

Until your food got there You know I felt I felt bad You could have just said you didn't see it either Yeah I could have fucking done that I don't want to do trivia. I feel like that's a requirement for their job. Like, if somebody walks in and is doing fucking trivia at you, like, yeah, they have to fucking do that.

I feel like he would have gotten in trouble if I, like... I'm sorry that's what was going to your head when you were spouting off your favorite Forrest Gump facts for 15 minutes straight with no interruptions. You know what? The guy wasn't even doing trivia. He came in to take your order and you just immediately started rattling off facts about Forrest Gump. You know what, though? I fucking, I aced that quiz.

That's one of the first quizzes I've ever gotten an A on. You aced the Forrest Gump quiz? I did. You know, I saw the questions you're like, what is Forrest Gump's girlfriend's name? Yeah, Bubba. It's aimed, yeah, it's a quiz that, like, Forrest Gump could answer, and you...

Yeah. That's great. Pat walking into the Bubba Gump's shrimp company is, like, is, like, walking into, like, a best buy in a blue polo shirt. Yeah. It's like He just feels like he fits in so perfectly

Yeah Yeah Yeah That's how I felt at Margaritaville last night Oh yeah Margaritaville Oh wait I just speaking of like

Fucked up food I ate at a British restaurant And Like a couple days ago Not really a restaurant It was like a bar But it had food And I ordered something called

Oh a pub and squeak Yeah It was a pub I believe that's what they call it I ordered something off of the menu that was called bubble and squeak, and it was one of the worst things I've ever eaten. What is it? It's cabbage and potatoes.

Yeah, it's like a... It's like a quiche. No, it's like a quiche. It was literally cabbage potatoes and a disgusting third root vegetable that just like... They usually put an egg on top of it. Did you get an egg? I didn't get any eggs, dude. That's a squeak.

Shit. The squeak is the cabbage. The squeak is the cabbage. Because the chicken squeaks. Mm-hmm. That's chicken doesn't fucking squeaks. Especially not an egg. An egg squeaks, too.

Yeah, an egg can squeak. If you, like, polish an egg, it can make a squeaking noise while you're rubbing it. Mm-hmm. What? Checkmate, bitch. Checkmate. That's not checkmate. You put yourself a checkmate.

Yeah, I checkmate at you. You checked out your... And a potato looks like a bubble. And a potato looks like a bubble. That is true. That's... I believe the potato is the bubble. Yeah.

Well, the bubble is the boiling, the boiling water that you put the potatoes in the man. They don't serve it with the boiling water, so it's that a potato looks like a bubble. Okay, good point. I've been chesmated. What's the squeak, though? It's the cabbage, right? The squeak is the cabbage. Okay.

Anyway, that's fucking terrible. Talk about Margaritville, though. I do want to get about those. So I went to Margaritaville with Ben and Jacques from seeking derangements and Clark from group project and a couple other people. I just want a podcast were they from. I don't know. I don't even know if they had podcasts.

Can you not shout them out? I think Jack's hate me. I wanted to give them shoutouts because they're my friends. Oh, yeah. Oh, shocked on Twitter. Oh, yeah, shock has jubes. Yeah, good point. I kept replying to their,

all right, so let's censor out their name. Wait, how did you get blocked? So Ben and boop from. So when they were like reading out there, I think it was you guys turning out the promo for that show, live show. I think I kept replying like, no thanks. And I went to check the account And I was blocked

And I was like, damn, I was joking But yeah, I was hanging out with them And, uh, you know, Margaritaville is a fucked up place Uh, we tried to go The restaurant or the real place? Both. Uh, we tried to go like up the stairs And, uh, we got yelled at.

And then me and Clark were like, Clark was wearing, like, a wig, the whole time. Okay. What was the wig? It was like a gray wig to make them look like an old man. We went there with the intention, so Clark found out that there's a synagogue in Margaritaville because the place where the Margaritaville resort was put in Times Square had a synagogue in it, and I think, like, legally it has to have a synagogue.

So there was a Margaritaville synagogue, and Clark wanted to go there to go to, the Rosh Hashanah services the next day and we ended up like, we were pretty much asked to leave they, we were like about to go and then like somebody came up to us.

What did you do to the synagogue? What did you do to the synagogue? Did you wipe it off the face of the planet? The synagogue is not built yet. The synagogue does not exist yet. Yeah, because you wiped it off the face of the earth. You completely desecrated the synagogue

With a weapon of mass destruction You completely destroyed it Yeah, why did you do that? I don't know, but what I... You don't know, what kind of answer is that? I was bored! There's a full synagogue. I said I was bored.

That's not good enough for me. All right, well, I'll... I'll figure out a better excuse later. But Clark insists that we were kicked out because somebody came up to us and said have a good night everybody and then like three security guards popped up behind them so I think we were

we were asked to leave the Margaritaville resort How do you know there was security guards? I mean it's already a costume night I don't know you're wearing a wig It could be three It could be just three men in business suits Going to the Margaritaville resort

Could be going out to you Yeah maybe they just got off their job As security for I don't know The Best Band in the World and then they just want to go to Margaritaville and enjoy themselves. What's the best friend in the world? Red hot chili peppers. When the birds are shed, it's so long.

Had a lot of fun with that group. Yeah. Would love to get kicked out of Margaritaville again with them. I'm sure you would if you went back. This time, this time if we go back, we have to wear more disguises. You know, like Clark was in the wig. I think maybe we switch it up. We all wear wigs.

Wait, why are you guys wearing disguises? What do you guys do? Is it so you can get into the synagogue? Yeah. What kind of disguises are you going to be wearing to get in there? Yeah. What disguise would I feel like visually like, I don't know that it matters to wear a disguise to get in. I'm curious to know what your plans are to like, you know.

You know, as a- How would you, how would you hide your facial features? Your real ones? Like prosthetics on your face? As somebody who just learned they were Colombian, I think maybe just like a Colombian flag Yamika. That's good. I think maybe that's my only disguise, because I'm not ashamed to be a Jewish-Columbian man. Look, regardless of what time my grandfather moved to Columbia. No.

My grandfather, it doesn't matter what time in the 40s that he moved there. you know in 1945 yeah your name is Patricia Hitler that's right Patricia yep

you're also a Colombian girl yeah that's right you're a beautiful Colombian girl like the mom for modern family you're fucking gorgeous shit I'm all over you now Patrick

you won't be able to you I'm Patricio Patricio Bergera oh my god can I put you in a little dress that name just made me squirt a bit Fuck, I'm squirred

I don't know Oh my god I have such a tight butt I bet I could bounce my penis off your ass Oh my shit god What? My butt or my butt hole? Which one is loose?

The butt hole? Why is your butt hole loose? Because I keep coins in there What's that way in the sky's You're baking to the Margar EW research That's your way to get into the synagogue

Is put a bunch of coins up your ass Come on, pro That's not what I said I didn't say that was my disguise And they say hey we kicked you out last week You say Ah, ah, ah, how about that? And I just jump up

I do jumping jacks You just sit all over the floor And you're like, oh, there was supposed to be coins in there You do a reverse Mario You jump up and a coin appears Yeah, no, like I shit shit on the floor and then like

I'm like oh my god I'm so sorry oh I'm so stressed out right now I'm gonna throw up oh and then just a bunch of coins jump out of my mouth like fucking like Sonic getting hit I don't think

yeah huh they come out of his mouth yeah where does Sonic keep all those fucking rings in his mouth it's true yeah I guess asked and answered in his pocket

he doesn't have a pocket he's naked he has a mouth and he might have something in the back don't search Sonic pocket I see you searching Sonic Pocket Sonic doesn't have a pocket

Sonic doesn't have a pocket and if it was its pocket It would be too small to fit even one ring Let alone a thousand This rings are just how many I would score They're big rings I scored a thousand I scored over a thousand rings And I saw him put them in his mouth when I scored them

Because I got the special version of the game That shows you where they go Hang on I got it Really? Where'd you get that? It shows an x-ray of Sonic's stomach While you're playing So you can see all the rings in there.

I'm serious. I'm serious. I got the sunny pocket. Rule 34. U.S. Well, that's a nice. Damn, that is crazy.

This is where he's hiding the rings. This is his humongous ass. Oh, and he's playing a, what is that? Sonic? Wow.

That shadow the hedge up? Oh, all right. Here's the tags. So Sonic is playing. It says pocket mania. He's back. Here, let's listen to the tags. Ass.

So I'm going to give you guys a hint. Sonic is way far down on the tax yeah ass big butt bubble gum bulge candy clothing dessert ellipo typhian that's uh Ethiopian it says

I'm not picking on that food gum hedgehog huge butt hyper hyper butt male mammal panties solo Sonic Sonic Pocket Adventure One tag is the only thing tag This is the only Sonic Pocket Adventure That's done rule 34

Did you ever play this game? I've never played this game What shadow the hedgehog No uh the only I just Sonic Pocket Adventure Oh, wait, why does he have a white cock? What the fuck is it? Oh my God. Yeah, why would they...

This is girl tales. This is girl tales. This is what I never understand about like drawn pornography. I mean, look at this, hold on. Look at this foot. That is the most fucked up foot I've ever seen. This is honestly, like, you know, there's a lot of tags on here that are like, you know, big balls, humanoid feet, et cetera.

But the tag that's really skeeving me out here is that there's a tag that's just looking at another other, looking at another there's also one just called inside yes yeah and above inside it's imminent sex what does that mean oh my god vainy penis humanoid penis

imminent imminent imminent sex has at least that is like 20 over 20 000 tags it must have sucked so much to be like a guy like a caveman who wanted to see this so bad but yeah yeah caveman who was like like ooh oh i wish i could see sonic fuck yeah

well he was no just like a caveman looking at like a rock and he was like oh someone should draw that with like a really wet penis but yeah i don't have any should put a but they should put a bulge on it yeah yeah yeah gum is also a uh a bad hashtag on there gum yeah i don't i can't figure out what about this rule 34 sonic thing is gum oh he's blowing i was so distracted by the humongous blue ass. I didn't realize he's blowing bubble. I said, watching the first, looking at the first one. Hyperbutt.

Hyperbutt? Oh, this is, don't click on hyperbutt. Do not click on what. This is not good, dude. Hyperbub, oh, wow. This is crazy. Oh, my God. And this is all for free?

There's like... There's like Pokemon? I don't have to pay for this. This is one. some fucked up Pokemon or something has eaten every Pokemon and is shitting out their bones

in this one out of their huge butt I'm gonna send this to you guys I just found what do y'all think of that who's this which Pokemon is I have no idea that is not a Pokemon

what is it's shitting out bones what is this wait and there's more why did you assume this was a Pokemon because it was there's outlines of all the Pokemon in her stomach

What? Okay, what Pokemon do you see? What Pokemon do you see? Yeah, I don't see any Pokemon here. No, in her stomach, look, Gengar in her stomach, not in... Oh, yeah, okay, I see that, yeah. Okay. I just assume... And then there's another one of the other lines. There's a smoother version of the same photo. Yeah, I think over here is, uh, uh, what's his name?

Uh, well, I can, I can totally see Dratini over here. Oh, this butt has hair all over it. Where? Oh, and... Oh, wait, this is a video. Oh, God. This is so good. Wait, send it in the chat.

Use audio. I just sent it. Please keep your audio on. Okay, is it this most recent? Oh, my God. What the fuck is it? Oh, no. She farts on you.

It's a giant... evil woman with a hairy ass who farts on you and then crushes your head with their hyperass dude it's a pretty good deal honestly yeah well she's an elf too

that's your thing I mean these people make so much money off this shit it's insane do they make money or are they doing this for the love of the game there's a ton of like patrons and shit just for people who make this oh yeah you know what good point I did I actually have met somebody who does this really yeah

Cameron. I don't do this. I wish I did. Me too. I'd be rich. Are you kidding? I mean, if I could figure out, you know, 3D, if I, you know, I try,

I was going to be a VFX artist. If I could, uh, you know, if I could do that for money. Those folks at Corridor Digital should react to some of this. Mm-hmm. I think that'd be a good, a good video. Mike, Steve, with a huge ass sitting on you. Yeah.

Did you just see that? What? Minecraft Steve's huge ass? No, that's a... Oh, I do want to search Minecraft Steve, though. That's quarter to his newest video. Minecraft Steve in real life with giant evil ass that farts and shits on you, question mark?

Minecraft Steve. No, there's really not that much Minecraft, Steve. Here's him getting fucked in the ass by a zombie. Okay. Here's him fucking some white thing in the ass. Yeah, Cameron. Here's a version... Yeah.

Uh, here's something else. That's not even his cock. That took you out. You looked at that and you were immediately like, yeah. I'll show you what I saw. You're gonna send him in the chat.

You're just skipping it for yourself. Yeah. I don't want to make you guys fucking. Yeah. Oh, he's got, Minecraft's Steve has a cube penis. And two cube balls, two square balls that are hanging independently.

A lot of really not square come. Yeah. Hold on. And completely just like, just like, like, uh, uh, some fucking clam chowder. This is like one of the worst things I've found. What is this one? Is this the dog one? Oh.

Yep. It is the dog one. What is this? I know you saw it. That's from Larry and Steve. I think Larry and Steve was, uh, Seth McFarland's, uh, project that he had on, like, the, uh, it was like some Hannah Barbera thing. And he had that on there before family guy.

And that was basically the basis for family guy. So somebody was so into Larry and Steve There's only two things with Larry and Steve And the other one is... Yeah, it's Larry fucking Brian Yeah At least it's two dogs, right? At least it's not a dog in a person.

Right. Oh, here's one here. This is Lois Griffin getting fucked by the yellow M&M. It's at the Dead Peaches Castle from Super Mario. I mean, they're like so... Here's, here's, uh... This is...

Oh, this one's crazy. This is the... Oh, my God. Wait, this one's animated. Holy shit. This is the Mexican flag being fucked as a person. This one is making me think how easy... How easy it is to animate Family Guy. If you can just animate like a Santa fucking...

Glowus Griffiths... Does this make you cry? This photo of the Mexican flag... Anthropophized. Did I? Oh, sorry. I'm still looking at that one. Oh, this is Stan Smith dressed up like Santa.

No, no, I sent you the right one. Stop sending me back of Steve, too. Why isn't it working? You're sending me the same thing. What the hell? It's like, oh, man, does it make you cry? He's just Mike up Steve again. Okay, it's the Mexican flag with his eyes crossed and his tongue out, and he has,

he's pulling like a rosary, and he's getting. just completely destroyed by a red guy. Uh-huh. I don't like this. Who's the red guy? I don't know. I'm trying to figure. Probably the Chinese flag, right?

It says Russia on the left. Oh, okay. Oh, so it's, okay. Oh, no, dude. I search Santa Claus, and there's one of a girl sucking Santa's dick, and then a dog fucking her. It's like rendered in 3D.

It's really horrible. Oh, no. And it says happy holidays on it Wait, can you send this? This one? I want to see this so that. I think this list is great. Good job, guys.

Yeah, this is. Wow, that is horrible. Oh, my God. Holy s I told you, it's really bad. That is like DAZ 3D. That is like, fucking, like, like, early DAZ 3D too. I got, maybe I talked about this before. I got this, like, porn game.

Me and Jubia played, and we just started, like, making, like, people we knew in it. She will punish them. Oh, she will punish him. We made Rex in it and just gave him humongous tits, and then just took a bunch of, like, screenshots of him. Yo, well, wait, happy birthday, Rex. Is today a birthday? Yeah. Well, yesterday is Rex's birthday.

So, no, it was today. What are you talking? So, fuck that shit. I'm not saying happy birthday. but I will say happy birthday today but when this comes out but when this comes out he sucks

no sir all right let's do this list yeah are we starting with the Justin Bieber one we can I'll do

I also found one this might be more this one is it's about gaming if you guys want to do a game yeah okay I like gaming

so we're on this website called vix.com which is basically the biggest news network for the Spanish-speaking world as far as I'm aware. It's pretty much, as far as Jubio has told us, it's basically like CNN, MSNBC,

Fox and CBS, like, wrapped into one. Yeah. And, like, it's basically where everyone gets every single piece of news from, right? Including, like... Is that true?

For example, like, this is like a huge story in Mexico right now. A woman can breastfeed her baby through the armpit. It affects 10% of women. Yeah. This is, like, huge, right?

Can you send me that link? Yeah, no problem. I mean, here's another really big story. Queen Elizabeth epically trolled some tourists who did not recognize her. We have the story. Whoa. This website is also, it's all in Spanish, so we're using Google Translate to look at it. Yeah, because I can't speak Spanish.

I can, I just don't want to, like, embarrass Cameron and Pat since I can. Oh, here's one. I appreciate that. Here's a, see, I don't want to spoil this, but click this link here. What are we clicking here? How to Make Paper Boats. Yeah, I mean, that's like one of the biggest things in Mexico right now. There's a huge, a huge story that I noticed on this website that's going on right now is top 10 blue drinks has been really big.

Wait, I want to see the top 10 blue drinks. Yeah, I bet you are. That's what's selling so well in Mexico is. Yeah, let's look at this one. They know exactly what you want. The top 10 blue drinks. Okay, here, let me send this link over here. Number one's got to be water.

That's not true. No, no, no, no, no. Agua. Ah. In the world of drinks, there are thousands of delicious varieties. We always talk about the best drinks for this or that occasion or the drinks to accompany such a dish, etc. But we rarely refer to the immensity of drinks that can be made with just one color, blue. Check out this top 10 blue drinks that you are sure to love.

I would really like to just completely skip this list except for number one on this list. Number one is Smurf. What is Smurf? No way it is. I have no idea. Smurf. Smurf cocktail is served in a tall glass decorated with a lemon wedge and made with strawberry vodka, blue carousel, lemon juice, and lemon lime soda. That sounds really good.

I want to try that now. I want to drink the smurf. I think this list is just cheating because everything here is a cocktail made out of blue carousel. Yeah, it's true. Where the soda's at? Yeah. What's a blue soda? What's a blue soda?

Blue soda is like the one that they had at Friendlies. Yeah, like a blue raspberry. Yeah. It's not very popular kind of kind of soda. The Blue Mountain Dew is probably one of the best sodas in the world. If you can't name it doesn't exist. Blue Mountain Dew. Wait, fuck you.

Blue Mountain Dew. Voltage. Voltage. So you want to suck my cock now, don't you? And there's also, there's blue game fuel. Also, this is one of the smartest things I've ever seen. This is also, before we get into the main list, this is three alcoholic beverages that leave the least hangover.

And so number three is wine. Number two is white drinks. And number one, best drink for no hangover. Drinks with a lot of ice. It's fucking so genius. Wait, hold on, we saw the blue drinks. Here's a list of red drinks here. This is a list of red drinks here.

And this is breaking news. I mean... Yeah. No, this is... You hear someone speaking Spanish on the street. You can go up to them and say, have you ever heard of... Do you...

Do you've heard of what's going on with the drinks, Rojo? They don't know exactly what you're talking about. Yo, baby, Rojo? Yeah. Well, this doesn't really have a lot of... Yeah. Anyway, it's...

There's only three drinks, and... There's one drink called Red Liquid. That's the number one drink Is called red liquid It's two ounces of tequila One ounce of natural strawberry juice One ounce of pink grapefruit juice

I don't care about what goes into red liquid Can you just shut up Here so this is the list You know what I'm screenshoting this page I'm gonna make it right down Yeah I'm gonna make red liquid I'm not bad it's lag Six situations that only real gamers understand

This is again this is huge news This is all me Since 2008, TV shows are being interrupted for a breaking news bulletin from a guy who looks exactly like Jubeo. I don't know like that.

Since 2008, August 29th was marked as Gamer's Day by specialized magazines that wanted to celebrate the gaming community around the world. Video games are becoming more popular and accepted. It has even become a career for some people. It says some people on that tone. Not this fucker.

It says some people. That is not, why they cease to be enjoyable casually and that is why we bring six situations that only gamers understand. The first one here. B-O-G. O-G is part of the English slang

that stands for original gangster and is used to refer to people who have been followers of something in particular for a long time. The term evolved and can now also be translated as old school, old school, or has its adaptation to video games as old gamer or original gamer. I'm an original game right there.

I'm an old gamer. Everybody has an OG. What's your first game, Cameron? I probably have to be like tag, hide and seek. One of those. I'm like a supero game. Probably like Jacks. Yeah, Jacks was good.

Online jacks. Yeah. Yeah, I was really into online jump rope. You know that thing where it looks like a lawnmower for a baby and you push around and it pops. I was really into that online. That was a good online one. Oh, wait, wait. Online, um, online rock paper scissors.

Do you remember online pretend was really good? Did you guys ever play? You guys ever play ball in a cup online? Oh my God, dude. Yeah, it was pretty much high scores on it. Yeah, yeah. We didn't have that one down here. What's, what's it was about?

Really? You didn't have ball and a cup online? No, we don't. It's pretty much the most, I mean, it's just like a cool game. Like, I guess you're not like an OG, like me, though, but it's fine. I started gaming a Nintendo 64, so I guess I'm not a real gamer. Yeah. I started on Nintendo 1. I didn't even have graphics or games when I was gaming.

Like it was like literally like... There was no video or games. When I started gaming, I wasn't even alive yet. Like, that's how early I was gaming. I was poop when I started gaming. I wasn't even born. I was just, I was just a pile of poop outside. Yeah.

That they forgot about. That's like what I was for like so long. Yeah, I was like a bug in the dirt back before I was born. Yeah. Oh my God. Then I crawled up. I crawled up somewhere, I shouldn't have gone. I was just, like, a weird, stinky pocket of air, and then I, like, was gaming, though.

I was basically this, like, brown ball of slime that was just flying around everywhere, trying to get into people's houses and stuff. Yeah, I was, like, a piece of hair on a fly. Like, that was, like, all I was. Then I got born. I was just kind of this speck that was, it was, like, just kind of a speck of dirt. There was pretty much nothing. Just lying around, kind of chilling air.

And then I got, I was more, I was like a game, like a, like, I was like a piece of ice and a fridge Yes, I'm pretty much an original gamer Yeah Number two, F in chat Um

What's that mean? Yeah, I've seen Jubio Drop some Fs in chat Yeah Yeah I've seen Jubio Everybody go and drop some Fs

in the chat for Gbio right now Push that TV slash Podabout List Podcast about list Podcast about list Make sure Give them all the Fs got in recent years with the popularization of video game streaming f became a meme used by gamers and

non-gamers for different situations of failure or shame however only true o gs know the origin of the which was a command using call of duty advanced warfare that was pushed to show respect to the funerals of fallen soldiers f for those who thought it meant fail is that really that Disrespectful. Yep. Yeah. Call of Duty Advanced Warfare? Was that one of the last...

That's not a very recent game, Caleb. I think it's like almost 10 years ago. Really? Advanced Warfare... No, Advanced Warfare was... That came out in 2020. Yeah. No.

Yeah, it came out in 2020. That's what F and Chat started. Really? That's... That's... That's... That's... That's...

Not recent enough. 2014. It came out. I know. Did I... Modern Warfare... They're like... That was that long ago? 2007 or some fucked-up shit.

God damn it, dude. It's a Kevin Spacey coldity. Oh, that's the one? Oh, yeah. Yeah, they should release all the assets for that game so that you can just do whatever you want to his body. Yeah, you can just put, you can get a Kevin Spacey 3D model from the guy. I'm sure there's like data miners or whatever who have figured out how to get it.

But I think maybe we should like, you remember like interactive buddy on new grounds? They should do this. We should do that with the Kevin Spacey model. They should release a remaster, and they have no Russian, but it's all, the airport is just Kevin Spacey. Filled with Kevin Spacey's? Yeah. Yeah. That would be a good way to show respect.

That would be good, yeah. Yeah. Just a million clones of Kevin Spacey in an airport ask each other how old they are. And you walk in with a machine gun. Yeah. Yeah. Next one. I'm not bad.

It's lag. If you are beaten in the game, it is unforgivable to accept the opponent. better than you. So lag or internet delay is to blame for losing. That is why there is the saying video games don't make gamers violent but lag does.

I hate lag. That's true. Gio can attest it. I get so mad. KEL has lived in New York for 10 years now and he didn't think of getting a better ISP until like yesterday. And then I, yeah, and I didn't even get

a better ISP because Fios won't fucking, they think, like, I think my, there must be like a ton of lead in the walls here because they don't want to replace anything or install Fios in my apartment. Oh, I got Fios. I got Fios too. I got Fios too. I love Fios and I'm fucking stupid and fat.

And yeah, oh, they even have Fios in fucking Mexico. Cool. You can, you, these guys, these fucking, these Fios, these Fios guys would rather go from New York down to Mexico to install it at Jubios house than go fucking like one mile down the street.

And put it in my fucking house. Well, they wanted a vacation. They wanted to see the sites of Mexico. That's pitiful. That's a thing. That's the thing. It's like, I hear it's beautiful down there.

There's no sites in Mexico. For what I've seen in Breaking Bad, it is beautiful and yellow and brown. It's golden. It's the most golden state. Oh, my God. It is very yellow. It's the golden state in America. Did you, have you ever met the evil brothers from Breaking Bad?

Do those guys live around you? The twins? Do you know Gus Fring? Yeah. Yeah. I won't just fool with him. Do you know Tucco? Dude, Tuco, that guy's crazy.

That guy's crazy. Crazy. I would love to, if you, dude, if you know him, I'd love to hang out with him sometime. Do you know, do you know La Tortuga? You know Hustle Tortuga? I don't know any of these guys, actually. I was lying. Well, I know Hustle Tortuga. No, you don't. I do. Why? Because I made them up.

Okay, next one. Can't pause online. How many times are we going to have to explain to parents that Nintendo cannot be paused if we are playing online? The child from China you are playing against is not going to. wait for you to return from the tortillas to continue the game. Okay. Okay. This is one of those things that actually happens to me all the time. Okay.

I guess I do have to go purchase some tortillas from the store. You have to go return from the tortillas. Yeah. Well. Return from the tour. What is the what the fuck does return from the tortillas? You know, with the, where do they make the tortillas? Do you like tortillas?

Only real cheese to go buy fresh tortillas. Oh, I've been doing that. You know what? If I could, actually, I could probably buy fresh tortillas somewhere around here. They don't make them over there. They don't have tortillas in America. It's only, it's a secret recipe. It's corn.

And it's only in Mexico. It's pretty smart. Okay. The child from China, I mean, this kid is just lapping. I hate that guy. Yeah, they're, you're, you're, you're. just eat your tortillas later, man.

Finish the damn game. This Chinese kid is waiting on you. It's a child, actually. The disappointments of Smash Brothers. Deceptions. What? The translation says the disappointments. Yeah, I'm going with Google Translate, I think.

Yeah, I don't really trust you. You're not like, like, you don't have a billion results when I tell you. Here, show me pictures of a naked woman right now. Yeah, hang on. A billion results. Right now Yeah, I got it right here This is a long Google search

This is taking way longer than Google That's a car That's a car That's not a naked woman That's a car Smash Bros is characterized by adding characters From different franchises To the game's catalog of fighters

Which has led fans to make requests And predictions to have their favorites Sometimes a franchise That's my own self I'm not naked I'm not that naked Damn I look bow-legged You can see it from the front

Damn, I was good I have a lot of scary photos of myself Sometimes a franchise is surprised With important editions But at other times It has been downright disappointing How long are we going to have to wait To have crash and smash, Nintendo?

They can't have them in there Because people will get confused They'll be like, is the game called Crash Or is the character in the character Smash? I would get confused that he was Star Fox Right, yeah Or maybe I would think Like he was like Lucas

Or Ness or something Yeah Exactly I think it looks like Lucas or Ness I might think that though If he's moving really fast And I just saw the pants I might think it was like

Lucas or Ness Or I might see like I don't know I might think he was like The Piranha plant If I saw his mouth If I just saw the inside of his mouth It could be the piranha plant

What's that show That they would play on Telemundo And it's all the adults And they're dressed up like little kids Oh, El Chavo Yeah, El Chavo I think if I, I think I think Ness probably looks like that

If you saw Ness in real life He'd look like El Chavo Do you think he looks like a Homeless Mexican kid? Yes Yes, I think that's exactly what he would look like This is a great show I used to watch this a lot

When I was a kid El Chavo? Yeah I would watch El Chavo Watch the hot weather girls. I would watch El Chavo by accident, and it always scared me. How were you watching El Chavo? I would put it, like, 3 a.m.

I'd be, like, channel surfing, and then I would, like, see that, and it's like, why? Like, I don't understand the language. Why are these grown-ups acting like little kids? So it was a horror show? Like a scary show? It was, like, it was, like, accidentally seeing the Twilight Zone as a kid. You thought it was like that, the David Lynch Rabbits thing? It's like Candle Cove, dude

You're like, what the fuck is this? It's like one of the most beloved Like Spanish speaking shows at all time And just my stupid, like American ass Just like, oh God, what the fuck is that? It's like, it's like Candle Cove, that like creepy pasta thing Where like you're like freaking out about it

And then the next morning you find out You're just watching static the whole time Yeah It does look like they're reusing The first season S&L set On this fucking thing it's true yeah no it does look it looks a lot like so they played homeless children

I didn't know the homeless aspect of that I had no idea so they live in like this this like neighborhood and el chavo is the the one homeless kid living in a like a little like a barrel in the middle of the neighborhood it's a classic look for yeah the show just rolls around him and his various adventures and his friends and they kick him out of neighborhood like three times whoa and there's the one guy is el chavo el chava he's the one that uh he's got like huge like cheeks or whatever you know what it was it was you're looking at a child's cheeks no child's huge bouncing cheeks you're no look up no look up no look up look it up look at chavo and he's the one who can make it clap it's kiko it's kiko has the the big cheeks yeah and it's that just

what he looks like because i'm looking at like photos that's what you look like that's what you look like That's just his rich friend. Oh, so he's rich, so he wears a pinwheel hat? Yeah, pretty much. Is that how it works down there? Yeah, that's why I don't wear one because I'm not rich. Oh. And I live in a barrel.

Oh, well, you know what, Julio, I'm going to get you a pinwheel hat. Thank you, man. You wear it like a yam-a-you-she-wheel yarmulka. Oh, man. You should wear that to the synagogue next time you go. I'd like to go to the next list, but I will say there is a great, Yeah, just scroll down to the bottom of this list before we're... Yeah.

The Ninja Turtle poster, and it says, Last Tortuga's Ninja. Whoa. Which is pretty funny to me, because I don't know what that means. But I have a guess. The next one. Let's do... Let's do 11 valid reasons to hate Justin Bieber blamelessly in front of his fans if he still has them. Okay. Can I read the name of this list really quick?

Yeah. Nine movies that a cooking lover must see that will make you the best... little chef. Number one, chef. Yes. Is chef on here? Ratatoui is on here. Chef is not on here.

Chef isn't on there? You're not going to learn shit from Ratatoui. You're not going to learn literally a single thing from Ratatoui. You're going to learn. In chef, you're going to learn how to have knife skills. You're going to learn how to make a Kubano. You're going to learn how to make... They have knife skills.

You're going to learn how to repair your relationship with your beautiful Colombian wife. You're going to learn how to fucking... like fuck a million hot girls in a row every single day at the same time and you'll learn how to befriend John Leguizamo. Exactly. And who doesn't need a funny

John Leguizamo type friend? If you don't want to be friends with the pest, you got to go to the mental hospital. No cap. If you don't want to be friends with Luigi Mario, you disabled mentally.

I can't lie. That's just how it is. All right. 11 valid reasons to hate Justin Bieber blamelessly in front of his fans if he still has them. Number 11. He has bad manners in his everyday life. Using toilets to relieve ourselves as something natural for everyone, but less so for the adolescent. Justin not only did not use the bathroom in a restaurant, but he also recorded himself

while doing his things to later make his video public. Where would the funny part of all this be? In the toilet. I don't remember that. Justin Bieber take a shit in a room. He took a piss. He took a piss into, like, the mop and bucket at a restaurant and looked at the camera and said, Hey, yo, fuck Bill Clinton.

Because he was on some odd future shit in 2013. That kind of, he sounds great, dude. Yeah, that's, like, kind of sick. And on more than one occasion, he was disrespectful. Just as it is not advisable to tease and spit on your fans, it is not good to take advantage to them. Do you remember it? unusual fact that he wanted to be hidden by his

henchmen, but could not be left behind due to photographs taken to the exact moment. No one believed that the singer did not want to touch the girls' bodice. We are not stupid. Bodice. What the fuck? I don't know what this is, what this means at all. I think it's different to like a bra.

Yeah. Oh. Louia, what's a bodice? It's like a bra for girls. Like a girl's bra. I thought, you know what? Genuinely thought that was a Spanish word. I think it's part of a dress. I looked it up. It's part of a dress. it's like a what about a bo bice instead of a bow dice what about a bo bice remember bo bice from american idol no bo bice bo bice bo bice there was the same year as bo bice and constantine this guy's fucked up

uh whatever what does bo bice look like now he's got short hair we's got what yeah shaved his head down um he does choose this title yourself He already had his bad reputation in Argentina, but after his concert in the Latin American country, he ended up earning the complete hatred of each of them, and with much, much reason. Sweep the ground with the flag of that country? Disrespectful and ridiculous. Which number was that? That's number four. I'm just skipping around here. Number three, heartbroken. If you didn't know about this lousy Bieber gesture,

it's about time you knew about it. An attitude of contempt that he had with a child with cancer, who after meeting him only managed to be disappointed despite the fact that this helped him get money for his foundation the star did not reach even five minutes with the little one i guess that is like a hard part about being like a famous celebrity is that people with cancer just have to spend time with you yeah yeah that's also i think that it's funny because that that is the like the last person i would want around a little kid who's about to die yeah is like a celebrity yeah exactly and also like if i was about to die I would not be like

I need to spend my remaining moments with like John Sina like that's crazy I would try to kill the celebrity to leave my mark on the world I think oh that's actually a good idea Jubio if you just have like go tell like the

WWE like listen I'm nine years old I have cancer I'm gonna die in like three weeks what if you guys just like pulled me out of the audience like a like a folding chair in the middle the middle of one of the matches and just beat the shit out of me

until I fucking die That would be so sick That would be how If I was 11 with like bone cancer That's exactly how I'd want to go out It's just like Be completely beaten to death in the ring I want Chris Jericho to throw me off a bridge

Yeah Yeah bring me to the top of the fucking The cage match cage And toss me off Like you're the undertaking If I get a terminal disease, I would love to, like, be the mocap actor for Megatron getting his head ripped off in the next Transformers movie. Yeah, exactly. They put a big tennis ball on my head, and then, like, The Rock or whoever just, you know, twist my head off.

Leave a lasting legacy, you know? Yeah. Like, I don't, just let those wrestlers get so fake at throwing, so sick of throwing fake punches. Just let them land a couple of fucking crushing blows on my soft spot. Yeah. Plus, the bones are probably softer. Yeah, way softer. I'm going to be pliable as fuck.

You could, like, do the back breakers to me over and over and over again. Yeah. And, like, I'm already fucking, I might as well already be dead, right? I have, like, would I rather just waste away for the next three weeks in the hospital? Yeah, and if you're worried, if you're worried, it's, like, too much of a heel turn to, like, you know, just start beating me up. I can dress like Hitler and, like, walk out. Hey, dress me up like Hitler. I already have cancer.

I'm going to die. It doesn't matter what my fucking, right? Exactly. And you can, like, swing me around by the feet and throw me. sucks into the audience what if you what if you survive and then like there's just footage of you dressed up like Hitler yeah throwing you come back the next day dude come back the next day you're gonna die one of these times yeah what's the craziest thing they can just ask the make a wish foundation guys like you're like oh yeah I want to do like 9-11

again come on come on just let me look I'll get the I'll get the Pentagon for real this time like I'll like well that would be it'll be it'll be it'll be it'll be it'll be gun. Yeah, that was the 9-11 commission. They didn't look into it, but that was what happened the first time. It was five young boys from Saudi Arabia. Well, we can't really say anything. They had cancer.

Yeah, exactly. What are we supposed to do? They had cancer. We paid for flight school. Oh, you... I froze. Mm-hmm. Oh, Patrick froze.

How's that Fios treating you, you, you asshole? Fuck you Well, I don't feel We should end this So I don't have to re-sync it It's over It's done I said

Watch Twitch.com slash Podcast About list I don't care We get that joking It would have already showed up because When you freeze You're still recording on audacity

Ugh You are so brainless Stupid Stupid Yeah, get them Twitch. Twitch.comcast about list Jubio is going to be live

24-7 every single day Every single moment He's going And he's going to be camera. He's going to be naked. You can give bits to move to angle the camera downward.

You can do virtual buddy with his body on Twitch, I swear to God. You give different bits, and he'll smell literally anything for four bits. It's four cents. It's four cents. In Mexico, that's a fortune. He'll even smell his finger. He'll smell his finger, and you know where that's been. We're going to do shows in the weekends where we can tell him.

That's all this money away on Roll Pit. I will also be doing that. I will be at the digital casino, and everyone. Everybody's invited. All right. Is that allowed? Yeah. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye.