Podcast About List - Ep. 167 - Cop Cream (w. Alex Forrest)

Episode Date: October 27, 2021

heyyy follow alex @ALEXF0RREST and watch some sick videos @home__planet. Love you guyyysssss

Come in, come in, come in, and we see a butt. All the counts to the ball list. Every crap monster. Ooh. Boom, ba-da-pap-pap. Boom. Do I scare the listener? It's true.

It's Halloween week. I scare the listener? I think you scared the listener too much. Oh, I hope you did. We have a special guest today. Caleb Pitts is with us in the room. Yeah. Hey, what's up?

I'm Caleb Pitts. I like to eat butts. Oh. I smell like poop all the time every day in my life. I'm glad you finally admitted it. That's my name. This is what Caleb says. We have our beautiful friend Alex here with us.

My roommate. Because Caleb got very sick from eating butts and he smelled his own poop smell too much. And he smelled, Caleb smelled his finger. And he like, you know when like a cat smells like a pickle? No. You ever seen those videos? For, like, a cat, like, a cat was smelling your pickle in a video?

No, there's, like, a video. If you ever seen those videos, I make one? They're really good. Do you ever have my computer? There's, like, videos are, like, people giving their cats and their dogs, like, pickles, and then, like, the cats will go, like, pht. That's what Caleb did. And it made him, it cost him the people.

Well, you know how, like, in, like, colonial times or whatever, they believed, like, that you would get sick if you're, like, your humors were in balance. Like, you know, you had, like, black bile and yellow bile and, and, like, and blood and, and, and snot or whatever the last one was and well Caleb had like a really bad imbalance of his poop humor like it was like way out of whack he's actually one of the podcast is an imbalance of poop

hey he's actually one of the only people that has a fifth humor that's like because he just has like poop in his body it's disgusting he would poop in his blood he would be probably like burnt at the steak yeah in the back in the 80s in the olden times back but I mean back then fire was precious they probably wouldn't even

waste on him yeah yeah that was back Before fire was everywhere. It was so precious. I used to have to walk up two. They used to use it as currency. I used to have two. We don't have any precious things anymore.

No, there's so much of everything. It's fucked up. Yeah. Yeah, shut up. I mean, yeah, it's like back in the middle ages, Bitcoin used to be, you'd find like one Bitcoin your whole life.

But nowadays, there's like a million. of them just like flying through the air every second. Yeah, I caught a ride on one earlier today. A big Bitcoin was something that a bartender at a saloon used to do. That's right. What's up? Yeah, what's up?

Come on. Come on. I'll give it up for that. Okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Let's go. That's pretty good. Back then they had freaking bit treasure. Used to bite into a doubloon. Mm-hmm. And now I've got de Blune the amount of Bitcoin. that I used to have.

Because it inflated. It inflated. Back then, the only thing they'd inflate was a balloon. Yeah. Now they're, now we, my dabloon.

Now you go up on the, you go on the computer, you look up, Lois Griffin inflated. You get a million results. Yeah. Back then, Lois Griffin was a mythical creature.

True. And now I wish I could meet her. A strong woman. What? It's enough to make a man go crazy. Make me do something crazy. Uh-huh. Yeah.

no lois griffin lois griffin if you're listening we're kidding uh huh leave you gotta leave peter you gotta get with a real man oh

I wonder if like the the griffin family would have been able to survive in the middle ages definitely stewie yeah yeah stewie he's like resourceful and clever he would have used his inventions

probably yeah he probably would have been like I mean Rupert would have been a prince oh hell yeah yeah oh hell yeah yeah I think

uh But a Meg? Oh, Oh, no. Meg would be converted to the steak. Yeah. Shut up, Meg. That's what I would all of the people would have told.

Everyone would get in on it. Like, all the peasants would be saying, like, shut up, Meg. Yeah. And then, like. Stewie would be Goku. And she was, yeah. Stewie Goku. Back in the day, yeah, Stewie was Goku.

I know. Man, like, kids nowadays don't know. But, like, when we were growing up, like, Stewie was Goku. I'm like, Peter Griffin. was Batman. Yeah. It just,

that's just like the way it was. Chris Griffin was Robin Hood and Lois Griffin. She was perfect. Yeah, she's so busted now. She got so old. Yeah.

Kizzy Zays don't know. Yeah. She's all saggy and weird looking at on TV. Like, dude, take me back to when I was three years old. Oh, I do not understand Generation Z. No.

They're all twisted backwards. man they don't they don't understand like what it was like growing up back in back in like the 1400s we had good good lowest griffins yep yeah lowest Griffin used to used to be deflated then now she's inflated yeah and uh you can also look up lowest Griffin in real life you can look that up too you can look up lowest Griffin look up lowest Griffin like in the phone book in real life like where Google Google Images They got so much shit on there

They have They have so much shit on Google Images now It's like You can scroll forever Doesn't even reach the bottom of the page Remember when you used to have to click next page It doesn't happen anymore No you can just continuously scroll

Yeah kids nowadays They never click next page anymore It's like back in the dead Like kids nowadays They'll go to a library They'll read a book They'll get to the bottom of the page They'll say

Why is the next one load It's like, hey, you've got to click next page on the book. True. Yeah. We know stuff like that. They don't. Man, it's almost like websites or books. It's almost like books are like...

In the new era. Yeah, it's almost like books became like what movies were for like back when we were kids, but then like video games are kind of like more like websites now. True. Wow. Yeah. You guys are so smart. I'm learning so much.

I'm glad we like, we huffed all that paint. We decided recording. my living room. There's been a gas leak in here. There is pretty much a gas leak that has followed me to every room I've been doing the past, yeah, the past month. I feel like every time I get in a room with either Patrick

or Caleb, something happens to my brain. Well, you said the air smelled weird in our apartment when you came in. There was a difference in the air. I think it's the scented candle. True. I about that candle a while ago. Yeah. So you know it's good. It's gone bad.

I think it's stale. That candle expired. It tastes so weird. when I try to eat it. That candle's expired as fuck. It is like crazy. It does look for it. It's like black slime. Yeah.

There's like a layer. It's like when you see like one of those videos, it's like this is what happens to your lungs when you smoke a cigarette. There's like a like black tar. That's what the candle looks like right now. There's also this weird like bright flickering orange thing. Dancing. It's beautiful. I want to touch it.

It's hypnotic. Yeah. Hypnotic. Tectonic. Yesterday. When I was. I was walking to Caleb's. I forgot to mention this to you guys.

I saw, I saw two guys in, like, military uniforms walking down the street, but not like, not like, like, camo,

like fatigues, like some kind of like, like, they looked, like, I don't know if it was like Navy or what, but they had like, it was like,

they were like in some kind of uniform. Interesting. And they, they were like walking down the street. Like, they weren't like talk or anything. And then one of them walked by a mannequin. He just reached out and grabbed its boots.

It was so funny. They're the, that was the FBI. There was the federal booby inspectors. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. You saw them. Damn. Dude, it's like, it's like seeing like a G-man or like a man in black.

You saw the federal booby inspector. Whoa. Damn. Dude, I should have, I should have taken it. Were they armed? I don't know. They, I didn't say, not that I could see. Well, he had an arm for two boobs.

That's right. Yeah. And I, hey, man, I need, for two boobs. They keep us safe. Yeah. Yeah. I saw a big pulsating imprint of a. gun in his pocket, too, when he grabbed the boob.

His gun got way bigger. Yeah, he had a long, he had a long straight gun. It was scary. And it smelled really bad. It shot at me when I was going to my mouth. It shot conditioner out. I must have some kind of conditioner gun. It was amazing.

Yeah, because he did also say, you're going to taste my conditioner gun. I thought that was really weird. Yeah. Yeah. This is the Alberta V-O-5 gun. The what? The what-the-how?

The what? It's like a, it's like a shampoo that costs like a dollar. Alberta. What is it? Alberto. Alberto. V-O-5. V-O-5.

Unless those are two different. Alberto, V-O-5. Whoa. Okay. It comes in different colors. Y'all never fucked with Alberto V-O-5? No, I have. I just never knew that that it was actually called it.

Just that, looking at that is very. There's one, I think it's the strawberry one right there. Click on the strawberry. That's like a classic, like. Yeah, that one, dude. Strawberry's and cream. Oh, man. That one, that one is like, yeah.

I mean, this looks like it was, like, toxicly strawberry. Like, it looks like it would smell nice, but I'd rather it not be strawberries and just be cream smelling. Yeah, V-O-5 cream. Dude, there was so many. I'm like shampoo. I've had, I've used it so much growing. up that like looking at the bottles is like giving me like

like I can smell it yeah it's one of those yeah Patrick's nose is bleeding right now yeah oh oh oh look they have normal yeah why is it like normal scent yeah I know normal is like brown

yeah what else do we have oh that's nice oh dude ocean refresh yeah I want to drink all these do you describe every one looks like like it smelled like you could drink it Like, it smelled like a very, like, it looks like the, have you ever had the pink sobi?

No. Soby energy. Oh, wait, yeah, I have. Dude, it's, that's my favorite trick. It looked like that if you put a bunch of water in it. And then, like, it smelled like. This was the pink one? Yeah.

It smelled like a fucking, remember, like, strawberry shortcake? Like, you could, like, smell, like, her hair. Who? Hold up. The toy. The toy, like, the, your sisters didn't have a strawberry shortcake. Uh. No.

Oh. I know the popsicle, though, like the strawberry short cake popsicle that you need. Oh, that was good. That was some good eating. I didn't like that one. You didn't like that one? No, if it's like a popsicle, I like a sour, like a crybaby. That one's good.

A cry baby. Or like a two-ball screwball? You ever get, you ever get SpongeBob, though? Mm-hmm. Ooh, SpongeBob. I was about to ask you. You changed the game. What was the one?

It was like the ice cream trucks that had the one and it's like in a snow. cone thing, but it's like tiny little, like sour balls. Oh, the lemon lime. Yeah. Those ones are so good. I liked those a lot. Yeah, I liked those a lot. Man, I like pizza.

Yeah, pizza was pretty good from the ice cream truck, too. Dude, there should be a pizza, ice cream and pizza. Yeah. From a truck. That'd be pretty good. And the song that it plays. Yeah, what's the song? That a song from the

Poteeval the one from stepbrothers the one that they sing in the Catalina Wyndickson he plays that song as it goes to their neighborhood it doesn't even play like a fun

like not like the entertainer plays like a song that they play at funerals that's cool it plays taps you always think there's like a military funeral going on It's like, oh, no, that's just the pizza and ice cream, man. I mean, you know what, and he never stops.

Yeah. You know, if, if, like, a, because everyone, like, knows the ice cream truck song now, you know, it's everyone, yeah, the entertainer by Scott Joplin. Yeah, and, and so I feel like, I feel like, now they have to, like, sting. There's got to be, like, some kind of ice cream truck, like, startup that needs to, like, disrupt it and, like, like, draw more people. And here's my idea, okay, is a, um, an ice cream truck. It doesn't play any music.

But every once in a while, it plays, like, an insanely loud noise of just a car crash. Then, like, even the parents, everyone's running outside to see what's happening. And then they go, they're so excited that nobody died that, you know, they'll buy ice cream. Yeah. But that's the thing. It's the thing about the pizza and ice cream truck. Have you ever been to a funeral and heard an ice cream truck? No.

I have. I wish I had, though. That sounds so fun. That sounds like it would cheer me right up. No, because you're at the funeral and, like, out of nowhere, you hear the ice cream truck. You're like, damn, I wish I could leave this boring-ass shit right now. True. Go get an ice cream.

You know what, ice cream? You know what I saw? I don't know if I talked about this before. I'm like, yeah, let me get in there with you. No, I don't even get to like. Marry me. Kill me. I don't even get to put a cigarette in his mouth.

I'm so bored. Kill me. I want to die. They have an ice cream truck in Boston that's like, it's run entirely by police. And I think it's called like to protect and serve ice cream or something. I forget what it's, it has some weird. Dude, cop run businesses are so. fucking funny because it's like like it's just PR for cops whatever yeah dude fucking stupid

that's so that's so fucking dumb operation hoodsy cup it's like in a paddy wagon too god damn dude it's so like like how do we rehabilitate the image how do we rehabilitate the boston cops image yeah hootsy cups dude so sick dude there's say there's a skate shop in South Carolina called 5-0 and it's like run by like a former cop and it's like

the same shit is like a cop making an ice cream truck is just like trying to get like kids to trust cops yeah dude that's so funny the ice cream press coffee what does that fucking say

his shit that kid's shirt says coach's secret weapon oh I thought it said corn secret way this kid's shirt says beach and surf yeah that that is a funny look at all those kids are getting guns for the first time

they have gun shaped ice cream and then they keep giving the kids gun shaped ice cream well they probably like you know what they probably do is they probably like have like a trash can to throw away they like the popsicle sticks and they just like like pull all the DNA off it and like planting DNA of like children well that's isn't that

don't they have like a truck that like the police have like a truck where you can play like video video games for free and then they're just like pull you i don't know if they i don't know if it's true if they pull your fingerprints or not but like i feel i have heard of that i think you told me about that yeah there definitely there is a truck where you can play video games for free and it's like so fun and the cops are really nice when you do it all right i'm pro cop all right it's all all right you convinced me yeah cops are awesome this is from food and wine magazine whoa people are pulling people over to give them free ice cream officers in boston

bought an $89,000 truck to distribute free ice cream to their community. God damn, dude. That rocks. Dude, if a cop pulled me over and gave me ice cream, I'd just be pissed off. Dude, I would, like, I would, I would kill him. Yeah. I would commit so many crimes. Oh.

Now I'm hungry. Save the article for later. That's so awesome. Dude, we should start a cop ice cream truck. Yeah. Like, we should, wait, no, no, we should start. Wait, why is that picture? The police fan that just is an ice cream truck and turned it into a police fan.

Damn. That's so fucked. That's awesome. Man, we should start like the bank robber ice cream. That's a terrible idea. To compete with all these cops. And then get this, we get cops to staff it. The cops pull up, see a truck that says bank robbers.

They arrest the cops who are running it. puts cops in jail Okay Yeah Some of those Workforces Mm-hmm Are the same

That sell ice cream Mm-hmm That's what Raging Against Machine was saying That's what it's all about Mm-hmm Cops Ice Cream

Crime Mm-hmm My three The three C's The three C's Cops cream Criam and crime Cops cream

Ooh Ooh Oh Blasted full of cop Cream Suddenly Get out of a speeding ticket Suddenly I can't stand up.

Yeah, I've been blasted full of cop cream. Yeah, the cops are really cool. They blasts me full of cream. Yeah. No, I'm like, I like, I like cop's cream, but like, I'm kind of like a leftist. So like when a cop pulls me over and I like let him fuck me to get out of the ticket, like I don't let him come. Yeah. Almost never.

Yeah. I run away from him before he finishes. The total cock punishment. I'm a total I'm going to punish your cock I'm a total Come here I'm a total police cock blocker

Like I get in there I start fucking them But I like jump up And I put a cage on that shit I lock it up I say no chance You sir are not serving your community So I will not serve your cock

I'm doing the citizens arrest on your penis That's right You will never squirt again you've blasted your last slime my friend this is reform yep yeah i'm gonna defund your balls officer mm-hmm mm-hmm yeah i'm gonna handcuff your balls to your wiener see how you like that yeah i'm a hero yeah yeah you're your handcuffed like it's like handcuffed around the balls in the wiener like a cock ring but you're handcuffed to the handcuffs

and it's like what's that, is it 48 hours where they wear the handcuffs? 48 hours. Handcuffed to the cop. What are you chewing on? That's just something I found on my floor.

What is it? It's like a leg of it. That looks like part of a urinal. Yeah. Do you want it? I'm not heating that. No, it's just in your mouth. I did almost do it for a split second.

but yeah you did yeah best split second of my life oh yeah oh gosh whenever yeah whenever a cop pulls me over I always right before they walk up to my window I turn off the porn that I was watching on my GPS screen so that they can't like enjoy it in a Tesla isn't that like what like police do that

and their damn police cars they're riding around with a laptop yep how many cops do you think pull their shit while they're driving I mean they're constantly tugging yeah they you know they're Uniform has it as... I would too. Yeah, they have a special tugging machine that goes in the pants. That's why they're so angry whenever they get out.

It's because you've interrupted them. Yeah. If you interrupted their tug. Yeah, they have to arrest you. That's why they wear sunglasses a lot, too, because you'll see, like, their eyes are, like, super bloodshot because they just been, like, drained of all moisture. They've just been, like, squirting out all the liquid in their body all day. Cops do, like, an IV drip of, like, semen.

Yeah. A lot of them have to Because it's like I mean it's just so punishing To like just be like Just like coming and blasting And squirting and dripping All the time

I need 10 CCs I mean that's why That's why like Junk That's why it's tough For like when they get defunded It's like You know

It affects all of us They have to start stealing their magazines It's like It's tough You know It's like millions of dollars Of magazine budget Of dirty mad

Yeah. We've ascertained that at our offices stumbled upon 40 copies of ass magazine I don't know where I was going I just want to do the voice

You're crazy Oh me being Speaking of crime Yeah Dude Me and Caleb did the best crime of all time Would you do? You were

there. No, you weren't there. You were there. Alex was there. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't, I mean... Six Flags. I didn't go. Yeah, I don't want to talk about that. But there was a... There was a, on the way back from Six Flags,

there was a vending machine. And I don't want to reveal the location because I think we'll be going back and using this trick several more times. But we were trying to get water and it was all sold out of water, but I was putting in dollar coins

to try and like, like get by the water and this was sold out so i pressed a coin return and what comes out but two dollar coins plus four quarters yeah that's right i found a real life infinite money hack and we did that for about 30 minutes yeah you guys went to town you guys went you guys went caleb really went fucking crazy went nuts Caleb got like an old susan b anthony dollar that was worth like eight i'd never seen that like look in calip's eyes before it was just like ten minutes of him i feel like she was like so excited Dude, yeah, I would have, too.

It was cool. Yeah, it's like when you teach, like, a rat that it can, like, pull a lever to get a treat. Yeah, yeah, just like cheese. Yeah. That's like a rat eating cheese was watching him. Yeah. Yeah, most of the time watching him,

just like watching a rat walking a rat. But that time was more like watching a rat eating cheese. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, because he's like not, he doesn't eat cheese. You should he doesn't have cheese with him. Yeah. But, like, that day specifically it was like a rat with his cheese. Yeah.

It was totally like a rat, like, eating his cheese. A bit of, I'm a bit of, I'm a bit of a doctor-do-little type. You talk to animals? Pretty much, yeah. Most days. I'm talking to a dog right now, telepathically. He said you should get me a beer.

Whoa. Really? Run along. Okay. I'll go get it. Go-go. I'll get it. What's the dog's name?

Fido. That sounds like a very generic dog name. But it's telepathic. It's not, you don't, like, you don't bark or anything? No, I don't need to. am in my head. You guys wouldn't get it. Humans. I don't know why you're laughing at me. Why are you making fun of me right now? You guys are my nemesi. I'm not. You guys have any nemesi in the rotation currently?

Do you have any nemesis? Probably my boss. Yeah. Yeah, I don't like your boss either. Your baby cousin? My baby cousin, Stephen. What did he do? Yeah, what did your baby cousin do? He hit me and he beat me. And he strangled me within an inch of my life. He was grabbing your finger really tight. Yeah. And you almost died. He hasn't been born yet.

This is going to happen. This is going to happen in the future. This is all mental. I can look into the future. I took a lot of spice. Oh, yeah. I'd have to say one of my... I didn't do it yet.

Don't spoil it. Well, my cousin Stephen is in it. He is everywhere. Damn. You kind of look like him right now, you son of a bitch. No! I'm going to kill you. Shit.

One of my greatest nemesite nowadays that have to be like the devil and like the evils he inflicts on our world, I think. The devil and his demons. Yeah, he has a lot of demons. True. And endless supply. He has, I mean, more than endless sometimes it feels like, because I mean, I feel like he does pretty much all the bad shit in the world, too. With his demons. I think my nemesis are probably myself.

Damn. Deep shit. That is deep shit. Me and Alex also not, I know I don't. That is hilarious. Hell yeah. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, whew, whew. Me and Alex did run into one of the devil's demons also.

After the, after we committed our, there was on the train, there was a, oh my God. I blocked that out of my mind. No, that was crazy. There's just like a crazy guy who just started yelling at me when we're on the train. Oh, what did he say? He was a train. and Alex for like five full minutes. Such a long time. He was just like, he was like spitting, like, spitting while he yelled.

And he was saying he was going to like cut off all our faces and stuff. And he like, he like, finished his rant to Alex and he turned to me and he was like, do you know what inflation is? And I was like, I don't know. And he was like, it's when, it's when like, it's when, like, uh, Lois Griffin. No, he literally was like, it was like, it's like when supply is greater than demand or like whatever. And I was like, oh, cool. And he's like, now I taught you something.

Now you learned something. I was like, thank you. And then he just walked out of the car. Damn. But he was yelling about... He spent like five minutes telling Alex. He was going to kill it. He was going to, like, kill me.

And then we went past the sob. He was like, yeah. This is my lawyer in this. Oh, yeah. John Gali. I don't know. John Gali. John Gali sounds like a fucking Candyland character.

Did he like misremembered John Gaudy? I think so. Yeah. Yeah, what train were you guys on? We were going by Canal Street. He was like, Canal Street. This is where my lawyer lives. John Ghaly.

And then he said, he's a Jew. I don't know. That doesn't sound like a Jewish life. Yeah. It was really cool. Yeah. That's crazy. I got fucking jailed at you. He was going off, dude.

Yeah. That's after six flags. He said he was talking about jail, too. He was like, you're going to go to jail. a thousand hard dicks in your ass Jesus Christ. He was on one, dude. He was going crazy. Only New York, baby. Yeah. I have not had, I mean, I'm going to jinx myself saying this.

The craziest person who, yeah, that was like the only time I've ever had someone like yell in my face. I think I am pretty new to the city, true. Yeah, so I did. There was a crazy guy on the subway one time. It was walking up and down the car, like giving a speech. And at one point he was, He was like, did you guys see the little guys on TV in that commercial? I'll get back to that later. The little, like the, like, I have no idea. I'm picturing like the Toy Story aliens.

Yeah, I was picturing like minions or something. Yeah. You see these little guys? That was pretty much, yeah. They follow grew. He was just giving a speech about like an app or something. Like he was talking about like some website and then in the middle of it, he just said that. Oh, wait.

Maybe it's the Geico Gecko. Could be the Geicokego. only one of the guy co gecko hello mate i'm a guico gecko that was so good dude thank you that was amazing holy crap my name is Alex Forrest I am auditioning for the guyco gecko

okay let's hear it hello mate I'm the guyco gecko gecko That was beautiful That was really good Could you do like flow from Progressive now Hello mate I'm the guy go Geico That's all I say

For the rest of the podcast This is a protest I'm protesting your show I'm protesting the apartheid Yeah The Gaico Gecko caused apartheid in South Africa. Yeah, he did do a bunch of fucked up stuff. I don't like him.

One time I got, the first time I got suspended from Twitter because I told him to kill himself. Back then, you could say whatever you wanted back then too far. That was an outlier. Isn't it crazy that like, why the fuck is the guyco, like, Geico's insurance. Why the fuck is it a gecko? Well, geckos are they low.

The fastest animal on earth. Doi! And the best thing about insurance is how fast it is. Yeah, how fast you get your money. The only commercials that make sense in my head is like Allstate. But like, why do they have insurance commercials in the first place? Because insurance is so boring. Yeah, you need an exciting character.

You need some like J.K. Simmons, flow, the cavemen, people you can trust to give them their give, remember when flow

first dropped? Oh, yeah, we all know where we were. Yeah, the streets were on fire. Oh, man, you could not,

you could not. It was like the OJ verdict and the flow dropping. I think that happened on the same day, actually. That's what people were grown crazy about.

Yeah. That's the thing about OJ Simpson, but people were like, man, I don't know how to, feel about this fucking OJ verdict but I mean have you seen Flo? Yeah. God damn dude

that's a keeper. They're gonna keep her around for like 10. It's been like 10 years since it's been a long time yeah it's crazy. She's good she has a good job. Yeah she does a good job you know what fuck you guys she has a good job

she's probably so rich She probably yeah she probably gets like net worth She probably gets like That's her name she was on She was on Tim and Eric. She was on Tom Ghost of the Mayor, too. She played, I think she played

Tom's wife in Timon Eric. That's so funny that you can do her full name. What's her name? Stephanie Courtney. Also sounds like I made it up. It's like, oh yeah, that's fucking Brittany Ashley. That's her from the, from the Gecko, that's the, the guy go gecko.

That's the woman who does the gecko model. She's like the... She does the mocap. Yeah, the mocap for the gecko. Yeah, because she has a tail, so... Only woman with a tail. Only women with a tail can mocap for the gecko. True.

And only women with the tail. And only women can mocap for the gecko, too, because of his, like, contract demands. Slender body. And his slender body. His beautiful slender body. He's slimthick. He is, he is slimthick. I'd love to see the Geico gecko with a BBL.

Damn. I'd love this. Oh, man. Suddenly, I put this pillow on my lap. Suddenly, I can't stand up. The guy go gecko with a big ass. You draw that picture. You should send it to me.

I'm sure it already... Should I... I think it's so funny in, like, movies or just... Maybe in real life, but when people are horny and they're like, oh, mommy. Oh, yeah. Dude, big in the 80s. Like, people do that all the time. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, mommy. think it's it makes me laugh every time to like to like see like a hot girl or something and go oh my god that that gets me like literally every time it's always funny like pretending you have like a stomach ache because yeah just like yeah like saying like it like you're in pain oh oh my god oh no my stomach hurts because i saw her you just do like the tom scream from Tom and Jerry I'm going to drink some water

my throat has been killing me lately I mean you don't have to tell us you're going to drink water you can just do it look at what I'm doing right now while he's drinking that if anyone wants to buy a guitar for $200 I'm selling my guitar you're selling your guitar I don't play my SG enough to like I have another message Patrick if you want to buy a guitar

if you live in Bushwick or anywhere in New York and you want to buy a Gibson SG for $200 or an Epiphone SG for $200. I don't want to oversell it. It's a 2010 Epiphone SG. Can I have it? Do you have 200 bucks you can give it? No. I want it for free.

Yeah. All right. I still have my Stratocaster that's kind of broken, but the SG was an impulse purchase that I can't justify owning anymore. I have my, uh, anyone, if any other listeners are wanting to buy some. I have my Rodney Copper Bottom and I am willing to sell. I have my Madam Gasket. I'm

also willing to sell. I will not be selling my big well. Okay. So you can just come to our apartment and buy some stuff. I am serious about the guitar though. I can't justify owning it anymore. Anyway, here's the little list. I'm also selling some

shirts that I own. What is this? You can just post about this on Twitter. I'm selling a t-shirt that i'm not selling everything i like everything i own nothing will be sold some people some people have all the answers maybe i got to get into depop as a side hustle yeah you do really well on depop i think yeah i got some shit i bought a

i bought a lot of quasi quasi skateboard's uh crew neck that's it's a green velour and i put it on and i was like man i look so fat in this all you have to do this all you have to do is is order I think you probably look beautiful in it. A Jurassic Park, like a Jurassic Park t-shirt from Amazon and then just listed as like retro logo T and you can sell it for $80. Are you serious? I'm completely serious. Oh, who's this?

Someone just ran past hard. No, it's not somebody coming in here. I thought it was someone knocking. Yeah. I thought like Joe got home. I don't know when he comes home. I think he died. No, stop.

He died and went to heaven. He's in Universal Studios. Wow. Yeah, he's at the hair. Potter world. The wizarding world of Harry Potter. Joe's exact location, my roommate Joe, his exact location, California. At the butter beer stand.

At the butter beer restaurant. Yeah. But dude, I don't know if he's there. Is he there for horror nights? Not, maybe. I don't know. If he is, he's a lucky son of a bitch. I think he's just hanging out.

If that's why he's there, I'm going to sleep in his bed tonight because. Okay, freak. He can't, he can't have everything nice. I'm going to fart in it, too. I'm going to fart in his bed. Joe, if you listen to this shit. Sniff, sniff, maybe. Welcome to your nightmare.

That's what I say. The real horror night is what I'm going to do in your room. All right, which one should I do? Let's do this. This one? Other one. Other one. Okay.

Today's list, this is top ten ways to annoy your dentist by Positron Wildhawk. Did we do this? I don't think we did this. No, we didn't do this. Yeah. We didn't do this. We did not. You say that every episode.

episode before you start a list. Pretty much. Yeah. The description of this list is, at least be kind to some dentist. They too have fillings. Oh, damn. That's a pun.

That's a good pun right there. Oh, I get it. Filings. Uh-huh. Dentists have fillings too. That's a shitty pun. Uh-huh. That's a damn positron.

I mean, they stole that from my, from my Drake parody song in my fillings. Whoa. Which is too themed. You've been working on that for so long, too. Yeah, it's not finished yet. I got about one line. Yeah.

It's good, though. It made me cry the first time. Yeah. Do you want to hear the line? Kiki, do you love me? That's about as far as I got. The next line will have like a tooth pun in it, but I haven't got there yet.

Take your time, baby. Number one, bite down suddenly the moment his finger is furthest down your mouth. It's funny. I'm just sticking his finger like so far down your mouth. That's just like trying, that's how to help you if your dentist is like trying to do something to you. What the dentist puts the finger in the mouth is like, man, Don't you, can't you make a tool to do this? Yeah, I use a tool.

Like, I'd rather they use, like, a... Like, that just doesn't really put his hand in my mouth. Really? They just use their tools. Yeah, I mean, if they're going to put their finger in my mouth, I'd rather they make, like, a silicone finger that they put in my mouth, you know, instead of just their actual finger. You know, like, when you get a magic kit and...

Yeah, like a fake finger to chop, that you can chop off. The dentist should have to wear one of those. Yeah, so I can bite it off. Maybe, like, a, like, a latex, like, fake finger for all five fingers. and it's blue. Well, no, it should be, like, to be a dentist, you should have to, like, chop off one of your fingers as, like, the dentist oath or whatever, yeah.

Yeah. And then you put on, like, a fake finger every day that the patient is allowed to, like, bite off if they want to. True. Because, like... How fucked up are your guy's teeth? I do they're really good.

Mine are, like, not great, but... I mean, you all know my teeth stories. You all know what's going on with my mouth. You just asked because you wanted to tell your teeth stories again. And you guys all know... And y'all know my teeth stories are wild as fuck. Dude, yeah, Pat at party's telling his teeth stories, like, the whole room, yeah. I have...

There was, like, two nights ago, I... We were at that, like, that show, and somebody was talking to me about, like, dental insurance or something. And I did, like, just, like, you know, you know how I, like, trail off until, like, ADHD stories I, like, go nowhere? I just, like, told them about, like, my cracked tooth. I was like, I realized, like, after, like, I stopped saying it, I was like, yeah, that was like, that went fucking nowhere. Like, that was just so stupid. You were doing it to strangers? There was, yeah, somebody, like, I met.

Is it a long story? Kind of, dude. That was just, like, punishing somebody about my tooth. It sucks. It sucks that I do that. I hate it so much. If you get a text and it's like, hey, can we hang out and talk more about your tooth? Hey, you're the tooth guy, right?

Yeah. You're the weird teeth guy? I wanted to hear the end of the story. Like, what happened? This guy came into my job the other day, and he was like, man, I really want to buy a soda, but I really hurt my tooth. I got a hole in it. Look. Ah!

And he's like, you can see it in the back. That, dude, yeah. For like a year. For like a year, like, while we were, I think, like, a day we were recording, like, the first couple of episodes, I cracked my tooth eating candy. I cracked my back molar eating candy And I didn't get it Like fixed until Like

Yeah I cracked that tooth And I crack the bottom tooth I'm doing it again I'm doing the same fucking story Here's a top comment I did this They got upset because it hurt her finger

It's a good point But it says his finger Well this one says her finger Well I think you could only do this If you have a boy dentist I've always wanted to do this Says cat lover 2004.

I did that once before. She screamed super loud. I never went to that dentist ever again. It's crazy that you can just change your dentist up. Yeah, damn. I do. No loyalty to your dentist? Fuck you.

That's right. I hate going to my dentist. Folks, do you hate going to the dentist? Yes. Well, at teeth.com, you can get new teeth delivered straight to your door. Use promo code. Marin 20. Marin 20

Maron 20 I don't know I'm giving him this voice I'm Mark Maron I hate going to the dentist Yeah Fuck What are you doing I just was trying to put this

I was going to put this on your head Oh my God Fine you want to play my little games Fine Number Number two All you guys are making fun of me all the time You guys make fun of me

I'm sorry Number two Paint the words Dentistry is for tit heads On your teeth before your appointment That's actually pretty clever That sounds like that's more harder for you

Because you have paint on your teeth Yeah Well the dentist has to clean it off I hate this fucking list God damn. Well, that's what happens. This doesn't fit. This wouldn't fit on your teeth,

so you start writing it, and then you end up just painting the words dentistry. And they go in and they're like, you know you don't have to do that. Is that 26? Is that 26 letters? Let's count together.

One, two, three, four, five, six, 79, 100, that's 100 letters. 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 15, 15, 15, 16, 17, 19, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, You do count You need a space

Yeah, but your teeth have spaces And at least mine do My teeth really had this guy right here Yeah Look at this, I have a tooth right here It's rather sharp It's called my canine tooth That guy at work was just me

I was had a... Yeah, you guys know I had two like sharp teeth In my top teeth Because my past life I was a dog named Werewolf Really? Yeah That was you I used to have a dog named Werewolf

Whoa! Boy? Say it? You'll be a baby. You pay me. Yeah. Just like old times. Yeah, I was just like mistreated dog in my past life.

Like my owner used to like do all these crazy things to me. Shut up. Shut up. You liked it. The top comment is, was going to vote this for the first one. But this was going to vote the first one. But this genius one will do nicely. Ha, ha.

True. Does anyone, does one have that many teeth, though? Good point. Dude, I got to wear my glasses. That's, like, too far for me to read. Yeah. Martingles says, What's that?

Tenglas? We got Donald Duck. Yeah. Dude, I donald duck laugh sometimes. It's weird. Martingles says, He will love that. It's true.

I mean, well, that thing is like... He will love that. That's Glenn Martin DDS. Yeah. Remember that shit? Well, dentistry is for tit heads. It's like a tit head is like a fan of tits, right? Because there's like tit heads and ass heads.

Or is it a head that's a big tit? Yeah. I mean, either way. Either way. Either way. I'm sucking on that thing's face. What? That's right. You're sucking on your dentist's face?

Uh-huh. So you can get a mouth profile. Ooh. he puts his mouth on my mouth He sucks it in And then it's like Kirby He knows like When I go to the dentist

They put the lead blanket on me The whole time Because my boners like so big They try to weigh it down And you're just like I'm sorry Oh God This doesn't happen usually

Oh no I'm so sorry They like leave the room for a second They come back and I'm lying like belly down Like humping the chair you're completely naked Oh, I didn't know you were coming back Yeah, where did that The water jet go

Where is that? There's like a huge puddle like foring Get out I rented this space today I'm trying to take dickpicks With the X-ray They're like, all right, we need to take a picture of your teeth And they like leave the room

Like to take the x-ray I like take my pants off and like stand up I'm so You like what you see I'm so glad I've never had like a Like a tailbone injury or something like that Where they have to take an x-ray where my dick is visible Where they have to like put that thing in your butt

In order to heal you I don't want my doctor knowing how small my thing is No way Oh my god Did you imagine? No way that's between me and my day Oh, yeah, they're trying to, they're trying to rub it off the x-ray thing, like there's like a, like there's a smudge on it, but now it's just my thing. Yeah, they'd be like, can you try and make your thing bigger before we take the x-ray?

Just like, it's so that you don't get embarrassed. Yeah. That nurse kind of likes you. Yeah, there's nothing wrong. There's nothing wrong with your tailbone. Like, we're going to get you laid. Yeah. I don't know.

Like, put this on and go talk to her. And it's like that, like, like, we're going to. robe with, like, the butt exposed. You know, she wants to see your butt so bad through the robe. It's like a 95-year-old man. I'm not even your doctor. I'm just, like, helping you out, dude.

I'm just trying to wingman you here. Yo, pops. That's what they call me in this doctor's office. They call me pops. They only keep me here for vibes. True. I'm kind of like Bez and the Happy Mondays. I'm just here to dance.

I treat the dentist office like a barbershop. Crazy. Mm-hmm. I go in there. I'm like, y'all. all seen this. Yeah. It's a mole.

I've seen this shit. Yeah. My arms broken. Number three, fill him up with all of the anesthetics. I got munchausens. I got munchausens. I keep breaking my own arms so I can talk to the doctor. Fill him up with all the anesthetic until he feels nothing at all.

Then amputate his arm when he's looking away. Martin says, I think this won't just annoy him. Good point, Martin. Yeah. It's a very good point. It's a bad idea. Don't do that to your identity. You'll get arrested.

That's just a crime. Yep. Most of these are crimes. And crimes aren't annoying. They're cool. Crime is the coolest thing you can do. I respect criminals. Unless it's to me.

Yeah. Unless you mug me or steal my shit. Then it's lame. Mm-hmm. That's embarrassing for you. Yeah. I straight up, I don't like when crime happens to me. Facts.

Yep. Dead ass. Or my family or my chosen family. Uh-huh. Or anybody. Homies is my like chosen family. I'll drink to that. Is that the,

Is that the ICP? My homie's blood is, like, thicker than my family's blood. Mm-hmm. It's like the lyrics to that I-C-P song. Homies? I know the chorus is like, Homies, homies. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I heard that in fourth grade. Did I ever tell you about the ADHD forums I was on in fourth grade? No. It's called sparktop.org. I told you about it, for sure. It was on sparktop.org.

I found out about, I looked up if other. kids on there were talking about CKY and there were there were a lot of kids talking about CKY on there and they got one of them

got me into ICP they told me look up Piggy Pie and then through that I found Homies and I thought

that was a beautiful song Yeah I don't care about a homie's song Yeah I don't think I don't like that one very much

It's not a good one It's not their best It's not a good one No because it's not about anything scary or like clown-related. Yeah, or all the...

The good ICP songs are all about either like killing people, being a clown or being a Christian. Yeah. Yeah. Water, air, fire, and earth. Fucking magnets. How do they work? No, it's water, air, fire, and dirt.

Oh, dirt. Yeah. That was earth. You ever realize you've, like, misheard a song lyric your whole life, but, like, still, like, you correct it. You look up the lyric. and what it really is. I always thought it was

happy glurth day. Why are we singing this? Shouldn't it be happy birthday? It's his birthday. His birthday was last week. Number four, throw up violently the moment he starts examining you. Can the dentist sue you for this? There's one comment that just says, oh, God.

That is, if I saw someone do that, I'd say that. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, I'd say, oh, brother. That's what I'd say. I'd say, oh, mommy. Yeah. Like, you're, like, insanely horny.

Mommy. Mama. Mommy. We can just cut that part out. What movie is that there's, like, one specific... There's not Austin Powers. That's what it was. That's why I was thinking about it.

He's like, Mommy. Yeah, then he... Yeah, he falls into lava. Thinking about his mom. Oh, man. That, Austin. That, I mean, that... Piece of work.

That crowd that he hangs with, Austin. They're sketch. Man, gold member loves gold, but he, I mean, he loves his phagia, too. I think he loves it, or he hated his phagia. I know Dr. Evil hated his faja. I know Beyonce Knowles isn't that movie? Oh. Remember when he kisses Nathan Lane?

That was a funny scene. Oh, yeah. Nathan Lane, Nathan Lane is doing Beyonce's voice. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a perfect movie. All three of them. yeah one mega movie i'm a huge apy fan ap and dune are my favorite movies right now hey i still haven't seen it so you better not drop any spoilers it's so good this would be horrible but you probably

wouldn't get sued since throwing up isn't your fault even if you did it on purpose how would they know true i can't throw up on purpose i stick my finger down my throwing everywhere i'm sorry i'm really sick i ate some tacos i have to go home can you take me to the nurse yeah i don't want to Like, I don't want to get a dentist appointment today, so can you just send me home? I'm so sick. I can't. Whenever, when you guys go to a dentist, you just kind of smell like latex for the rest of the day? A little bit.

I feel like that's whenever I go to the dentist. I think I talked about it before, but there's like a latex mask thing that they would put on, like, they had, like, scented latex masks that they would put on at this one dentist office I went to for, like, the laughing gas. Sure. And my little brother did that. He's, like, insanely allergic to latex. and that's how they found out

was like they put one of those on I want the grape-scented one and then like they put it on and he like couldn't breathe and he died. Yeah, my little brother is dead Dewy Doran Ooh, happy Halloween

Number five pin him down with his tools and start pulling his teeth out without anesthetic I would so do this to my former childhood dentist he did that to me so I would love to do it to him as well

So he could see how that feels. Who made this? The jigsaw? Make this list. No, it was Positron Wild Talk. Oh. Yeah, you know. Hello, Dr. Hirayama.

For years, you pulled out my teeth. For years, you told me to floss. But now, you will have to floss, or else you'll die. That's the thing about Dennis is they don't do any of the shit they tell you to do. No way. They're huge hypocrites. You ever smelled a dentist's breath? Disgusting.

It's horrible. It's nasty. They just eat candy all day, too. It's like they, since they're dentists, like, they don't have to get yelled at by any dentist, so they know they can do whatever they want. They get candy all of themselves because no one else is eating in. Exactly. All to themselves. Yep.

So, you know, if you see a dentist come to your house on Halloween, don't give him any candy. They got enough already. I went to a dentist a year ago. I saw a Reese's cup in his pocket. What? Back pocket. What a hypocrite. I think he might have pooped his pants.

Nah, dude. And it smelled weird. Because it did, it did smell like peanut butter, but also shit. Oh, man, you know what I had the other day? I think he made a Reese's at home. I think he had a feces cup. I bit into a Reese's cup, and it was one of the Reese's cups with the Reese's pieces inside. Whoa.

It was really delicious. They got one now that's... It's with a pretzel in it. Really? Yeah. I saw that somewhere. I don't believe you. I saw it at the store.

Which store? Now do you believe me? Which store? Candy store. I love the candy store. You buy yourself five minutes. I will be back with questions. Number six.

Ask for a toffee filling. Actually, that's, like, if you could get fillings made out of food. Yeah. That'd be great. You could just taste it all the time. I would get a cool ranch filling. Yeah. Yeah.

What's the food that you'd want to taste, like, 24-7? Not cool ranch, actually. It would probably be Brussels sprouts or steak or steak and Brussels sprouts. Yeah. Probably. I might. Or with mashed potatoes on the side. I mean, if we're going practical, if we're going practical, maybe like, like, mint, like, just have mint in your mouth all.

because then other people could taste it if you kiss them exactly or if you like tried to if you were like open your mouth really wide and like licked all over their face like you know it would suck though if you like you're a big fan of big red and then you're like oh yeah i want the big red filling and then you like later just like man why did i choose that why'd i choose yeah or like if you chose like the poop or like the sewage filling and it's like well like this was fun for like an hour but like this is now it's the rest of my life well that's the here's the thing about that can you shut the flavor off no no No, it's a film.

Yeah, I mean, you could take it out. So, maybe. Maybe. I think, yeah. I think maybe it, um, it would have to be something that can go with every food. Yeah. Because if it's like, the water filling. The water filling would be pretty good.

That would be perfect. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe like a, or cheese whiz. Sparkling water filling. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.

Yeah. I get Pop rocks filling. I get the YouTube filling. I'd have I'd have Charlie the unicorn in my mouth all the time I get the Charlie Brown feeling I get to open my mouth and hear it go Say Leo Plerodon

When does the Charlie Brown show come on Charlie Brown pumpkin Usually around like Halloween or Christmas It's soon though right isn't tomorrow Halloween Valentine's Day Arbor Day My birthday Now I know where that fucking plastic thing came from It's from the goggles you're wearing

Alex has been putting on and taking off goggles this entire time I don't know why. It's because I'm smart. You're looking at this like it's a science. It's a science experiment for you. Everything is an experiment. The only guest who fidgets more than Patrick.

He's like chewing on your goggles. I'm hungry. Honestly, since he's been here, I've been, I have not fidgeted that much. He's doing it all for you. Yeah, I know. He's dancing. Help me. number seven hide a tiny paintball gun in your gums which you can operate with your tongue

what kind of fantasy world do you live in positron well listen to this just make sure you practice and perfect this skill before the big day yeah i mean obviously you couldn't do it with no practice yeah you'd have to practice so hard yeah number eight is speak as if you're already on anesthetic when you walk in and the only comment is would love to be a fly on the wall if anyone did that's that is actually a perfect comedy sketch when you think about it. Yeah, it is. I could see that on SNL or... Ellen's show. Also, like, this is like

kind of, like, maybe Ellen. Kind of similar, but like, like, you know, people are always like, if you, like, could have dinner with, like, anyone living or dead, like, who would it be? I would probably choose, like, my dentist, because he could tell me, like, which food I should eat in which I should. At dinner. Yeah, at dinner, yeah. I could have dinner with someone living or dead.

I would, I would prefer to choose living. Yeah. I think it would smell pretty bad. Yeah. I can imagine. When it comes to the food, though, dead. I do not like, live animals They're loud Mm-hmm Mm-hmm

Mm-hmm Number 10 It's tough It's good Okay Number 9 Keep a live snake

in your mouth And wait for him To discover It by surprise Whatever Number 10 Is really good Eat his tools

That is clever Yeah He wouldn't expect That He would be fuck that's like a lot of money yeah i try to swallow the like the like water thing but like you know it has like the whole the like the pipe that goes like it's like a it's like a tube oh yeah i love it i try to swallow it but i swallow the entire chair eventually oh yeah yeah

yeah like that probably set could cost them back a few hondo he's probably didn't we shit up up a creek without paddle didn't we looked that up one time like how much dentist tools cost. Are we like that medical tool? Because we found that Amazon thing where it was like... You can buy like medical tools on Amazon for like thousands of dollars. Yeah.

But what? We should get for the apartment, we should get like an ultrasound machine. Yeah. A dentist chair. We have so many tummy aches. We don't know why. Okay, we get an ultrasound machine, right? We have friends over.

We're like, okay, eat this coin. We're going to see if we can see the coin in the belly. Bad news. You're pregnant with four babies. We did it. We find out. we find out one of our roommates is pregnant. Yeah.

I'm not looking forward to that day. Yeah. When I get pregnant. All right. Let's see. I want to eat. Number 11, chug a two liter of Coke in front of him before your appointment. Yeah.

You know what I did? I went to, um, because I had that weird like lymph node thing. I went to the like, I went to urgent care to get checked out. And, uh, I did get prescribed candy. Ooh. That's so sick. I got the dentist or the dentist, uh, doctor said that, like, I said that, like, I, Like, I'd take antibiotics, but also I should eat a lot of sour things, like warheads and

Sour Patch kids. Damn, dude. That's the dream. Whoa. That's insane. That's so sick. Oh, man. I yesterday.

That's what I get for going to Dr. Wonka. It'd be funny if, like, if you, if you got prescribed that and then you like, like, you, you get like a, like, a $10,000 bill because, like, candy isn't covered by your insurance. You were not supposed to eat that. Yeah. Yesterday at that mic, I saw, like, a, there's a plate of candy at this open mic, and it was, I thought there was like a gob stopper, like something to suck on, but it was a gumball. I felt violated.

You just suck on a gum ball for a little bit? Yeah, you didn't see that. They had a big trade. Well, no, I asked the guy to throw me a piece of candy. He said no. No, he said no. I'm sorry, man. Then they spelled my name wrong.

Did you see? I did. Yeah, I went, I'm doing stand-up again. I went to a mic. My handwriting is so bad that they wrote Patrick Domob. It was, like, projected on the screen behind him when he was going on. Patrick Domop. Patrick Domon.

Yeah. I don't know, like. The Irish Russian. Yeah. The Irish, the Irish Russian comedian. All my jokes are done. Yeah, a Yakoff, Smirnoff thing, but, like, with Irish. In Troubles, Ireland, Carbomb You.

Yeah. Okay. Hey. I'm sorry to all the, I'm sorry to all my people for that joke. Yeah. You're the Irish-Russian comedian You just get on stage And immediately pass out

From alcohol poisoning Because I'm drinking Whiskey and vodka Yeah All right, what's the last one on the list? Last one on the list Number 12 Say you've never flossed in your life

There's one comment on it That just says Oh God Yeah That is pretty scary The dentist reaction The dentist would flip out Yeah

I'd actually do that The next one on this list that you can do Just telling your dentist is like, yeah, I'm never going to floss again. I never floss. Nothing you can say will make me floss. I hate you.

All right. Is that the episode? Plug your shit. Home Planet on Twitter. Me and our other roommate Joe, we make videos and movies and crap. They're great. Check it out.

Thank you. Yes, sir. I've been in two of them now. Patrick's been in a couple. And just keep your eyes out because you never know. You never know. There could be more. There could be other people in them.

All right. And $200 for an Epiphone SG 2010. Oh, and we have a super exciting Halloween episode coming out Saturday that you don't want to miss. Not going to spoil what it is, but subscribe because it's going to be

a Patreon. Really good. A demon. Bye.