Podcast About List - Ep. 173 - Mr Peppermint

Episode Date: December 15, 2021

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Come in, come in, come in, come in, and we see your butt. All the counts for the ball list. Every crap monster. Holding on your rope got me 10 feet off the ground. And I'm hearing what you say, but I just can't make a sound. You tell me that you need me. then you go and cut me down but wait tell me that you're sorry didn't think I turn around and say that it's too late to apologize it's too late it's too late it's too

Too late Oh Oh It's you I don't know how this song goes Just Fall take a shot for you Oh

I need you Like a heart needs a beat But it's nothing new Yeah Yeah I loved you with the fire red Now it's turning blue And you say

Sorry like the angel Heaven let me think was you But I'm afraid It's too late to apologize It's too late I said it's too late to apologize It's too late to apologize It's too late

It's my favorite. I think this is a part of this a Timbaland-produced song. It's too late to apologize. It's too late. There we're going, we're harmonizing. It's too late to apologize. It's too late I said it's too late to apologize

Yeah No you got to say it's too late to apologize Yeah Yeah I'm holding on your rope Got me 10 feet off the ground The ground The ground

The ground The ground That was good That was good That was really good What's the next one? What next one? We're not going to do another one, are we?

Wait, no, click that one Total Eclipse of the Heart Whoa You know this one? Do you know this one? I know, I don't know this one Damn, this one always hits you hard Yeah

Just let the lyrics wash over you on this one, okay? So it starts off with an instrumental I can feel it already Oh, I remember this one I remember this one Wait, no, there's a bit, here, let's do Dude, I'm telling you, total eclipse of heart That's a perfect one

No, it's my turn to pick, you pick next I didn't even get to pick one. You picked that one on shuffle And now I know which one I want to do All right, well, you do it Here we go They're like You ever see

Transformers. I've seen Transformers. I know. I know what this is from. This changed everything in the world of Cybertron. It's true. It actually did. The Transformers didn't know what to do when they heard this one. They invented a new dance called the Headbang. They didn't call it the robot? No, that was a different dance.

Here we go. Damn. I like the dot, dot, dot's here. Me too. In this farewell, there's no blood, there's no alibi. What's up, Joe? Because I've drawn regret from the truth of a thousand lies. So let mercy come and wash away.

We can, all right. You're, all right. So after this, we have to stop. Okay. Okay. Come, erase myself. Well, you can, like, you have a balcony. What I am.

You go on your balcony because we're busy doing something in here. Well, I clean this way. I'm working too right now. You want to sing. A verse. Certainty. So Lincoln Park, what I've done. So lemurs.

Come on, it's the chorus. Come. And wash away. Chipnington. What I've done. This is going to be the best episode we've ever done. We'll defeat the Decepticons. We're Autobots.

Whoa. We head bang to awesome. That's really good Cameron All right Should I pause? We should probably move Yeah I think we should probably Smell my hat real quick

It just smells like a hat to me Yeah I can't detect any difference Okay And smell I don't know I think about it I wore it skating yesterday Nothing in here smells like anything Yeah

Or tastes like anything either And I've been coughing too Mm-hmm Um, we got kicked out of the karaoke bar we were in. Karaoke bar was my living room. Speaking of smelling, you know what I realized? Caleb got really sick after he smelled your butt. Shit, that's not even false.

Literally, he smelled your butt and he's been trapped at home for days now. Yeah. Huh. Yeah, interesting. But he said it smelled so good. He did say it smelled really good, so... I don't know. There's really no...

Do you want a chair? I'm standing, staying limber. Yeah. Yeah. Because we keep my energy level up. We have to record in my room again. I'm really close to this light. Yeah, and it's really a dire situation in here right now.

I haven't done... You know what it is? It's because it's the wintertime now, and I'm not just wearing t-shirts. So my laundry pile looks bigger because it's all sweatshirts. It's also, I mean, maybe this isn't for you, but it's also right, I'm about to go home to my family and bring all my dirty laundry. Oh, me too. So I'm putting off, I've to figure out how to get it on me. Putting off, putting off washing my clothes for a long time.

And I got a, I got a big pile. Mine's in a hamper, though. So it counts as not existing. Well, no, the hamper is over there. Oh, man. Yeah. I've overfilled the hamper. And the thing is, I used to have two hampers specifically for that reason.

Mm-hmm. And then I had no, my shoe rack. broke. Yeah. So now I just threw on my shoes in the other hamper. Mm-hmm. So you have a shoe bag. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I should get a laundry bag. That's a good move. Yeah. Laundry bag is a great, is a great lazy guy hamper. Yeah. Yeah. There is, I also don't have a trash barrel in my room.

I've just been doing a carpenter bag on the floor. Oh, man. Yeah. It all sounds way grosser than it is. Dude, I have to say, like, having, like, having multiple trash cans, like, trash cans in different rooms is great because, like, for example, like the trash can in my, in my computer room, like, never use it. So if I ever, so I never have to empty it. So I can throw something away in there and just forget about it. It doesn't exist anymore. Exactly. Put it in the kitchen trash. It's going to smell. I have to empty it. Disgusting. Office trash might as well be a black hole. Yeah. Doesn't exist. I mean, yeah, there's just clothes. everywhere in my room.

Yeah. Man, I really wish I could finish this karaoke song. I feel like I... Well, that's the other thing is now we're next to Neil's wall, and he's probably on some fucking call already. He's probably been on a call the whole time. He's probably mad. Oh, he's probably pissed.

He probably can hear us saying that he's really mad, too. Oh, no, he can't hear anything through these walls. Oh, then we can do karaoke. Maybe. No, we're done with that. Should we test it out? by yelling to him. Should we test it up by knocking on the wall?

I might test it up by running through the wall like a Lunanian's character and see if he notices. Yeah, because I know he'll definitely love if I sit in my room and just keep saying his name over and over. He doesn't get annoyed when I do that. No, that'll be good. Yeah. Yeah.

Let's see. It's almost Christmas. Yeah. I'm excited. I can't wait. Oh, boy. Oh, man. I love Christmas so much.

I love Christmas. Uh, now, uh, almost New Year's. I think you're just looking at stuff in my room to talk about. No, we could do that. Yeah. Oh, did you see? Did you see, I, um...

I see this framed picture here. Yeah, that's the, the framed photo of, uh, so the, the home planet video with the rock and roll guy. I like your Duran Duran Duran poster. That's not, no, it's, it's, it's an Irish flag with my family crest on it that I found in my parents' basement. I like your Duran Duran poster. Nope. yeah i'm tired of that joke i've been tired of that joke my whole damn life it's not how my last

name is pronounced bitch yeah i like your dora poster it's not a dora poster it's a d'ora the explorer it's a creep show poster and it's in japanese dora n nope what's the n mean cameron what are you calling her um naranja okay does that mean orange in spanish i think i think that means orange in spanish yeah i hope i hope that means orange in spanish yeah i hope Hope so. Me too. Damn, I got cans everywhere. I got cans over my table, too.

Yeah. God damn, dude. You got cans and coins. Yo, are those arcade tokens? Those are barcade tokens. Yo. Remember we went to Barcade with Robbie? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I bought, I never used those. Yeah. I should go, though. I should use them. You should. We should go right now and bring the recorder. Yeah. And do karaoke.

Oh, dude. Me and Julio went to the fucking land bar because he wanted to game. and I maybe wanted to game too but I would never choose to go to that bar if I wasn't with him just saying and all the fucking computers were reserved

so we played chess there oh yeah aren't they have it like there's like a who is it some kind of event phase rug is it I don't know

there were some there were like tournaments or something going on and all the computers are booked but clearly people weren't using there were clearly free computers yeah but they got to keep saying

kept saying oh they're all reserved come on You're going to make us play chess. You're going to make me trounce him in chess. That's so embarrassing for him. You didn't play anything on the Switch or the Xbox? They got skate on the Xbox. We went back to my apartment and played Switch at my house.

Okay. Yeah. And it was so fun. Yeah, they have the Faze Clan logo all over that bar now. I feel like Fays Clan is following me around. Yeah. Well, they're scouting you. I feel like they're gangstocking me.

They are. Yeah. They want to scout you to be the biggest Fais Clan member. Yeah. I would, they're scouting me to be their new, like, like, uh, their new crazy boy. Yeah, their new, like, basement punishment boy. Faze Glan's new crazy boy. I think they want to, like, experiment on me.

Do you want a chair? You, you're moving around now. Yeah, I'm going to move, I'm going to move this stuff and sit down on the bed. Okay. But it's all good. Don't worry about a thing. My room seriously feels like a college dorm. That's okay.

You're still in college. I think, well, technically I was. That's true. We should go back to college. I have two, well, I think next year is... You should go to the new school. Yeah. Well, next year, yeah, yeah, this is like the final month that I can decide whether or not I'm going back to Emerson.

Because I've been on a leave of absence. Yeah. For that long, they let you go on it for that long? You can go in a leave of absence for two years and I was just like, well, I'm just going to let that ride out. Yeah, no reason. Not to. Yeah. Yeah.

So technically, I'm still an enrolled Emerson student. Yeah. Well, no. I don't think it is true. That's how you got those glasses as you walked into the glasses store and they detected. Oh, he's an enrolled student of Emerson. These guys are good on me. He's getting roundies.

They are good on you. They look good. This fucking mic stands. If anyone wants to buy me anything off my Amazon wish list. We can make an Amazon wish list. Dude, that'd be awesome. For the holidays. Yeah, this room's disgusting.

I gotta... We don't have to talk about the room anymore. It's okay. No, I know. Unless you really want to. No, you know what the thing is? I fucking popped an addie and fucking cleaned my room. And now it's back to this.

It's back to this in literally a week. I don't believe you at all. You know what it is. I don't see anything that's moved. Oh, you should have seen it, dude. What's that? What's what? Oh, that's a waterproof camera.

no what's under what's it on what's that black box is that a oh that's a that's a drum machine why you have a drum machine i don't know you had a drum machine yeah i have a roland uh ddr 30 damn that's cool i don't know how to use it you should give it to me do you want it no okay i was i was gonna i have no room for it but i would go crazy on it well it's like it's the um it's like the thing that you plug the the drum pads in it's like a sequencer yeah well no it's like see all these like there's the midi inputs here and then they have all the like what are these uh yeah okay xLR things right there and you have to you plug those into the drum pads for like an old rolling drum machine yeah and i just perped

right into the mic yeah i don't own a i don't own a drum machine from the 80s Yeah. So I can't. Well, you own part of one. I do. I own probably the most important, the, probably the second most important part of the drum machine. It's important to have.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking, like, I was like, oh, when I move here, I'm going to like, kind of like clean it out, clean all the dust off of it, and then sell it. Yeah. And, uh... Dude, it's impossible to sell music equipment.

It's so, it sucks. It's, I have so much music stuff. I'm like, oh, I'll sell this. Yeah, I know. I tried to sell my guitar on here. It's fucking annoying as shit. Yeah, dude, I tried to go to a... It all takes up so much room, too.

I tried to go to a pawn shop with my guitar. Really? Yeah. What'd they say? Guy was like... Well, first, it's missing, like, the... The SG that I own is, like, missing, like, the trust rod cover. I don't know what that means.

It's like the thing that covers that thing up. Like, the... Like, you adjust it. like fix the action and shit okay it's missing that because i bought that second hand that was after our first live show yeah yeah i thought i'm a rock star now yeah no i really did dude because i've had this guitar here since like high school and it's like so beat up and shade like one of the pickups doesn't work and i'm like too lazy to fix it and i was like oh sick like i'm gonna like you know start like it was at a time where i was like playing a guitar a lot yeah and then i'd like stopped

And then now I just have two guitars And I just don't want the other one Yeah But after the live show When we got we got pinned out I spent most of my paycheck on Wasn't even like that much money I spent like

300 of the 500 The 500 be made On the guitar Because I was like Yeah dude This is it I'm gonna start I'm gonna be live showing it up

Dude I'm gonna I'm gonna learn I'm gonna learn how to make music now yeah and then you know it sucks life happens i hate music in the way life gets in the way you had your first baby yeah i don't know why i thought i was gonna like oh yeah like this year i'm gonna like i'm gonna like i'm gonna figure out how to write a song it's really important to have like an insanely stupid creative goal that you work to work towards for a year and then like completely forget about by the end of the year that's like super super important i can't tell you how many

how many video games I was gonna make every year of my life from middle school to freshman year of college I'm the only constant in my life has been skating in that way

like in that like the like oh you need like a fucking thing like that but like yeah I don't know why the fuck I was like I'm gonna be I'm gonna rock

it'd be really funny I was listening to a lot of Sabbath at the time too so I bought like the black SG Yeah, dude. With the fucking... We should start a...

It's called the guy... It's a 2010 epiphone goth S-G and it has like a cross on the 12th fret. We should start a... We should start a Doom Metal Band. Yeah. Maybe I keep the guitar. And we start a Doom Metal Band and we dress up in costumes.

Yeah. That's what I was gonna say. It would be funny, like, that not buy a guitar after the live show would be like, man, I'm gonna be a rock star and buy like a crazy outfit. Yeah. By like a like a, like, a like,

Sephiroth Cosplay That was That was the Boston Live show too So I had to I had to carry that Like I got a bag

A gig bag for it It came with it free I think Oh no no no I got a free t-shirt From Mr. Music In Alston And I

Carried that with me On the train From Alston Or no You know what I did I fucking I walked to I walked from Alston

The Harvard's square and then took the red line to Davis Square and then waited for my mom to pick me up to go to New Hampshire and I just I just carried a fucking guitar around with me all day like I like I don't know like I fucking maybe I should get back on Adderall because I and my impulse control is so bad like literally like my fucking yeah I'm lucky that for me the my impulse control is like my my fucked up like like like look at how much shit i've bought yeah just my impulse buy stuff yeah it's always like it's always movies which are like there's a pretty there's a i feel like i have i have it unlock enough that i won't buy like um at a hundred dollar movie usually yeah but i've come

close i buy i've impulse bought a hundred dollar box sets for no reason that i don't need my impulse purchases are like look at how many skateboards i own yeah well one of those i found one of those a bodega guy gave me yeah but like i can't stop i'll just like i'll see like somebody i'll see like something get retweeted onto my timeline that's like the like the they just did a reprint of this like this japanese movie from the 80s that i watched like one time on youtube and i was like i have to own this for 40 dollars right now dude fucking the dana carvey show on dvd that was actually a christmas gift no no no you know what was the christmas gift was a ben stiller show the dana carvey show on dvd was an actual purchase.

Andy Milanooga Show, season two, complete season two. But this was a, I bought that in high school. Yeah. Are we gonna, should we go through the DVDs? Maybe.

Is that how we're gonna eat up this time? I guess. Yeah. Like, like, I've never fucking watched the Ben Stiller show. It's really, really important to own DVDs that you've never watched

and never will watch. Shape of water. Yep. Yeah, that's a good one. I really like that movie. Yeah. I have a, I have paranormal activity.

on DVD it's still in like plastic wrap gemstone adventure series a gemstone quest with jerry sisk from jewelry television that's really good yeah yeah those types are important yeah yeah i gave most of those away at the boston live show of the ones i owned like that oh yeah yeah a few the boston live show if you if you're a person who uh owns one of those good for you yeah congratulations congratulations we're never doing that again you we uh you've really uh you've really you're really a special fan to us not psych

yeah you stupid you thought we got to do another live show yeah I would like to do another live show because I want to buy a new bass doing a doing a tour and buying a new guitar in every city

and just like yeah bringing them all with you yeah like I because I could justify that for sure yeah I could justify that by like well no this one's a 12 string Yeah, I could be the devil on your shoulder, like, so easily for that. Oh, my God, dude. Yeah, I could, it would be so funny. You'd come over the end of the tour, and you have, like, they're all, like, the exact same model of guitar, but they, like, each of them has, like, you know, like, like, state quarters.

Yeah. Yeah. They all have just, like, different pictures of stuff from, like, the city on them. Well, this one, this one, my brother bought off of a friend, and it has, like, oh, watch out. Oh, watch out. Watch out. Watch out. Oh, whoa. Oh, my laundry. I was singing in Aval. I first got. Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah, on the back of the headstock, it says Guitar Works, Richmond, Virginia. Yeah, see, that's why you need more.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, you need... So I have one from Virginia already. Yeah. This one I got... This is my base. Did you ever have... Yo! Did you ever have one of those? Probably not.

But did you ever have one of those, like, it was like a cardboard, like, board, and it stood up, and it had a map of the U.S. on it, and it had the coins in. coins in every state i had one of those i wasn't a coin collector kid i was not either i only cared about that but i remember i remember how how like the because i would you know i was i i don't remember how far i got i was probably i didn't i definitely didn't finish it but i got like pretty close but i don't even remember what i bought it was probably just like candy or something or one day i was like i'm going to take all the quarters of this and go to the corner store like being like what okay big sorry big news okay big new i'm sorry to interrupt your story

yeah it's not an interesting story i just got a free city bike unlock yo from lift and this is great news considering what happened yeah talk you i'll talk my shit okay so i got a free city bike unlock this is unrelated to what happened i just got one because i've been right i'll be you should report it you probably get a free one Maybe. Well, I already got a free one, so I'm just going to ride this one out. Can I unlock one and just leave it unlocked forever? I'm just going to leave that shit unlocked.

Yeah. Leave it in front of like a pet co or something. Let somebody leave with their dog, put the dog in the basket. I would unlock it and just bring it in my house. Right around the living room. Just doing like wheelies and shit on a city, like an e-bike. Yeah. Well, speaking of e-bikes.

So I've decided, I never rode a city bike before, and then one day, Like, there's this, like, skate park under the, the, the, the, Kaskushko bridge. I don't know how to fucking pronounce it. It's Polish. Yeah. Yeah. The, under the KP bridge, uh, skate park, I wanted to go there, um, but I didn't want to take the bus.

So I just took, like, a city bike there. I was like, riding it there. I was like, holy shit. Like, this is the best thing ever. I decided to get, I've lived here for, what, like, since March 2021. Right? I don't know. Yeah.

You're asking me. Yeah, I've lived here since, like, I've lived here since, like, I've lived here since, like March and decided to get into city bikes in the winter. Yeah. Like a fucking idiot. Yeah, that's very stupid. Yeah. Like, I've been riding city bikes more than I ever did.

Like, riding a bike in the city more than I ever did in the summer. Bikes should be destroyed in December. Yeah. You should not. They should put all the city bikes in a pile. I quit my job rather than having to ride a bike in December. But I've been doing that. Yeah.

Because it's so nice and it's so convenient. But then I took an e-bike, oh man, my mom's going to listen to this, but I took an e-bike from my house to go to Cooper Park. And I was like riding around. I was just like, oh, damn, it's actually pretty easy to get around cars. So I'm on an e-bike. And this guy, I'm like, you know, about to get to the skate park. And then this guy doesn't use a turn signal. and I start going

and then like he just decks me out with his like passenger side mirror yeah like right next to the the doctor evil tattoo that I have on my on my left arm giant bruise now because I just decked out his fucking mirror

yeah I just destroyed it dude yeah like it like you know like well what actually happened is he was turning and you saw your you saw yourself in the mirror and you tried to attack it like a parrot I was going hi hi hi hello

hi little guy Oh, look at you, look at your bike There's a little guy There's a little me in your car There's a little me in your car You start going way faster Well, I don't think I would have gotten hit If it wasn't an e-bike

Yeah What is an e-bike? It just has like an electronic motor, yeah So like as soon as I started pedaling Like I immediately got like a little bit more speed Than I was used to And then I didn't have the time to react Yeah

And I got hit in the arm, knocked the bike over onto the sidewalk my board fucking flew out into the street yeah and the guy looks at me he's holding up traffic and just fucking everyone in new york like you know it's new york it's new york baby yeah it's new york yeah everyone's just holding down the horn at him everyone's holding the horn at him and i'm like trying to just get the bike back up and get my board onto the bike and everyone's holding down the horn the guy just like waits till i look at him just goes i'm sorry man and i just went yeah me too and just both one are separate ways i just went to the i mean that is that's literally that's how you should what you should say to somebody you if it's if you didn't kill them that's what

you should say to somebody that you hit with your car or they almost hit with your car every accident should just be i'm sorry me too no exchange of insurance that's the perfect exchange i almost got hit by a car on my bike when i was in like probably middle school outside of in a guy pulled into a cvs parking lot really fast as i was like going across the entrance and i like I like break really fast and I skidded and he also braked and if he had kept going he would have hit me it was probably my fault. Yeah. I don't know if this was my fault. Yeah, that's why I apologize. I think that

yours sounds like half and half. Yeah, I think we're both at fault but it actually didn't happen on a city bike. It happened on my own bike and I went into the CVS. I can get this unlocked for free and then never report me. I went into the CVS and then he came into the CVS after me and he came up to me and said you should be more careful. It's like fuck you. Yeah. I know it's my fault. Leave me alone. Right.

I'm 13 Dude that shit's bullshit Stay away from me Tell me you're sorry You almost killed me Passenger always has the right away That's right The passenger has the right away

The passenger of the bike Yeah I mean the civilian Yeah I'm a civilian And he was a soldier I didn't even thank him For his service

Yeah The other night We were going to fucking Go to Mellows And then that card Just almost hit me When we had the turn signals Yeah

you're going to make fun of me for that this is my impression of you going to um burger king yeah i think i'm going to swing by burgos i'd call it bk you'd say burgos i'd say bk you would say burgos no yeah this is you go into mcdonald's yeah i think i'm going to mcdonaldos later yeah oh you oh dude you got the baconated from wendo that that's a good one calling wendy's windows No, not Wendos. Wendow. That is a good one.

It's not shorter at all. I think I might start doing that. I would literally, I would be so mad at you if you were called Wendie's Wendow. I don't get why you and Caleb get so mad at me from my abbreviations. A lot of other people use these abbreviations. Nobody does. Yes. Nobody does.

You guys are literally trying to, you guys are actively trying to ruin my life by making me self-conscious all the time. Maybe. Yeah. by the bodegao i call it the bode the bode oh man i gotta go pick up some sigs from the bode yeah that one could catch on some c's hmm oh some c's from the boat a pack of seas from the boat a pack a seas from the boat a pack of seas from the boat you know what it is is i really loved that book friendel as a kid yeah i've like it oh man wow it changed my life did you know there's that there's been a friendel movie

adaptation in the works for like years and they just literally never make it how long is it let's see here Frindle I remember I just like I was like did they ever make a movie out of Frindle because that would be a perfect like like that seems like the perfect movie

to make a movie right? Yeah let's see here Frundle film adaptation in 2015 they announced it and then Susan Sarandon was was going to play Mrs. Lora Lee Granger

The Frindle. Andy Circus was going to play the Frindle. In the role of the lifetime. They have him in the mocap suit, and he's just standing, like, straight up with his arms at his sides. They're just recording him for, like, an hour. You still do it. You know what? Actually, it wouldn't be, for a Frindle, it wouldn't be Andy Circus.

It would be Doug Jones. He would be a much better Frendle than Andy Circus. Andy Circus could play an eraser. and Doug Joe... Dude, Adventures of Eraser and Pencil. Mm-hmm. This is a great movie.

We're starting Doug Jones and Andy Circus. I can't wait to see, like, you ever watch the Smeagle, like, test footage? Yeah. Like, Smigel audition where Andy Circus is, like, doing that shit. Yeah. And he's like... That shit's, like, seeing him outside of the Smeagle costume. Yeah.

Costume. Seeing him outside of that shit, that's crazy. Yeah. Maybe it's, okay, it's like Doug, it's, it's Andy Circus, because he... Andy Circus does monkeys really good. Yeah. Does Andy Circus. Marcus as a monkey.

Doug Jones as a giant pencil. Uh-huh. And then maybe we could get... Seth Rogan to play an eraser. Seth Rogan as... Paul, two. Okay. Starring a pencil and a monkey.

Yeah, all right. And Benedict Cumberbatch. Okay. As Smog. Smog. Well, maybe he could play... Let's see. Maybe...

Who most did he do CGI of? Benedict Cumberbash? I think he only did Smok. Rango. I think that... Yeah. He did all the mocap for Rango. Did he really?

Ben the Cumberbatch? I thought he just used his fucking face. Yeah. That's what I was going to say. It's like that's so funny. If Smog is the only, uh, CGI he did, it's so fucking funny. They're just like, we're like, we need a really fucked up reptilian motherfucker.

Yeah. For this role. We need a human Argonian. Yeah. Literally like, yeah, it's like they have a fucking guy who does mocap for every monster in Lord of the Rings. Like Andy Serg-like, like, he's right there. And they're like, no, we need the, the ugliest guy on earth.

We need the dragon. We need the fucking... We need literally... We need a repulsive, disgusting, sexually overbearing reptile. Yeah. I bet Benedict Cumberbatch has a thume. Yeah. Sorry, Andy Circus, but you're too sexually warm.

Yeah. We need sexual winter. Oppressive. Basically, we need a sexual nemesis. We need a sexual nemesis. We need icicles to be forming on it. on everybody's private areas when they look at this fucking dragon.

Yeah, I know, because people look at Smeagle and they're like, damn, I want to fuck them. Smeagle probably has a big dick. Mm-hmm. Well, I mean, you see that loincloth flapping back and forth when he runs. Yep. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Does Smeagel have no dick? Smigle, uh, I don't know. I wonder if Hobbits have big dicks or not. No. Or if they have little ones. Well, Smeagel's probably got... Smeagel is a, you know what? Before he was corrupted was a proto-Hobbit.

I think Smeagle fucked the ring. Did, yo, I did find a fan fiction one time of Smeagel and Dobby and Yoda all having a threesome when I was looking for that fart episode. And I didn't read it because it wasn't fart themed, but it's pretty good. We could read it right now. Yeah? We got, what, we got like 20 more minutes left in the episode? We do have a list. Yeah, I think we've just, uh...

We could do that fan fiction instead. Caleb's not here to try and try and alpha us That's right We can just chill and talk Without being afraid Being afraid of his oppressive His oppressive force

He's so evil Caleb's truly the most Oppressive force in the world He literally slaves us I think I think it's still in this document Well what's this list What do we got here for this list

Well I found the fan fiction All right I guess we can read it It's called rings It's cool that you have to get a DDoS check before you enter fanfiction.net. It's called rings, socks, and minds. Ooh. Oh, yeah, who's who?

Yeah, ring. Okay. Smeagel crept from the cave and smelt the air. Yes, my precious. Tonight there were no nasty orcs and goblinses about. No elves with bright eyes or men with sharp swords. Not tonight. Just him and the fishes of the stream. Nice fishes, swimming blindly towards him.

Tasty fishes. He would catch them swiftly and silently. His mind conjured images. his fingers curling around the scales, the helpless creatures flopping on the bank as they died. It brought a lump to his throat and a thrill to his loins. Ghalem. Ghaled on his stomach to the water. With no cursed white face and only the stars above, the dark stream ran near and visible through the meadow. But not for Smeagle, not for sharp-eyed Smeagle.

He reached his hand out, ready to dip it into the cold, cold stream. He jerked back as he heard a sudden click. Can you do the voice? What was that my precious? What was that my precious? Yeah, good. Someone there. Some hunter, more silent than he, lurking, ready to pounce. He sniffed the air desperately. What does Dobby sound like?

Like a bitch. Dobby is lost. Dobby is lost. Smigel readied himself to flee, then stop. His night vision spotted movement not 20 yards away. Oh, I forgot that about Smigel. He's got night vision. Yep. The new arrival, whatever it was, was small and wave would look to be a sock. Its head was completely bald, with wide, Caleb, with wide pointed ears and massive eyes. Its scrawny body was wrapped in a pillowcase. A strange little creature, all told. Smigel paused. That's what he wears?

Yeah, he wears a pillowcase, right? Damn, no, I'm just thinking about Dhabi now. Think about what Dhabi looks like. And it makes sense that he wears a pillowcase now that it, like... It does, yeah. Because, like, a whole time, I'm thinking, like,

man, where do you get that? It's, like, so sweaty, too. It's true. I have some Smeagle lines for you to read here. It starts here. What does it say? Is it here? Is it thirsty?

Come on, keep going. I don't want to do that voice anymore. It hurts. Good on Andy Circus, because that voice sucks to do. It's fun. Is it tasty, my precious? Is it grunchable? He licked his lips.

Gruncible? I might have a sword, my precious. Long, thin, nasty sword. Careful, careful, my precious. Let us see. Oh, let us see. I can't do the voice very well. And then basically they fuck.

Yeah. Yeah, this. It's not that good. It's too long. I mean, I can skip ahead here. Get to the Yoda. I want to see what Yoda has to say. This is a good entrance for Yoda.

Okay. Precious, he screamed. The skylight, it burns us. Nasty Harry Potter. We hates it forever. But just as he was about to reach the cool darkness of the cave, a boulder tumbled down across the entrance, blocking off escape. A soft new light spread across the night.

Smeagle looked over his shoulder fearful of what would come. Stop, we say. Wow. Yeah, dude, if that was in a movie, like, the audience would stand up and cheer. Yeah. Would they stop what you say? Uh-huh. Dude, they'd fucking, they'd go nuts.

That's like, that's like Captain America lift. That bigger reaction than Captain America lifting up Thor's hammer. Okay, we need to have, there's a conversation here that we need to do between Smeagle and Yoda. Are you better at Smeagle or Yoda? I can't do either. I'll do, I'll try Smeagle. Okay. I can just do both and then you read the stage directions.

Okay, here. It starts here. said Yoda So stuck we are Except for you He gestured at Smeagel Come you here We command

Smigel found himself Helpless to resist He crawled slowly over to Yoda Head lowered He muttered as he went Is that Smeagel? This is Yoda Oh

If crashed and lost we are At cheering up we shall need At cheering up my precious Yoda nodded This is the important This one's important Fancy you we do Horny we are

Smigel blinked Horny my precious What is horny? This next one Wanting to put our bits in you we are Our bits You can skip to this line right here This last Yoda line

Wanting to put our bits in you Yoda's bits Said Yoda Friends of Harry Potter we are Lots of snarri on lonely nights We have read A threesome we need Yes

Smeagel tore off his loincloth and stood naked beneath the stars His long-forgotten phallus rose majestically He rubbed it recalling the contours The texture, the wiry hairs It was a thing of beauty He saw Dobby had dropped his sock in pillowcase Yoda had discarded his robe Both were naked and erect as he

Yeah Dobby aims to please Every friend of everybody Read this Yoda line right here chaffed you with our meaty lightsaber we shall He patted it Dobby has much experience Dobby is always of service

He knelt and took Smigel's phallus in his mouth The warmth and wetness left Smigel gagging Gollum, callum Yoda moved around behind Dobby and thrust himself Into the creature's rear end Dobby did not even flinch His lips moved up and down the length of Smigel His tongue so strong and flexible

Such a tender arse of you Yeah, why do they Why would they put Is the author British Or are they given Yoda The British accent here? I don't know Why do you say?

Because, yeah Do you think Yoda would say arse? Hummed Yoda at last He slapped Dobby on the behind And backed away Yeah, there's a British author Yeah He smacked him on a beyond

Yeah He smacked Yota That's the most disgusting part of this of this story. What's the most disgusting part? The author's British. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, it's gross because it's Ricky Jervase.

Yeah. Oh, then they just fuck each other. Yeah. It goes pretty long. Oh, they talk about fan fiction. Then they do three-way fallatio. Whoa. And then here's how it ends.

So Smeagle starts sucking Yoda's dick. Smeagel tried. He got to work, keeping his teeth away from Yoda's shack. But as Dobby brought him to ever-increasing peaks of ecstasy, he lost control. Carried away by the surging power of his own orgasm, smegl sunk his teeth into the meaty member in his mouth. For a moment, he tasted blood. His old hunting instinct suddenly asserted themselves, and he bit down again, hard. Oh, bitnest you have!

Yota cried. He pulled his bleeding phallus from Smeagel's jaws and backed away. Ruined we are! Oh, my God. Yeah. Yota got his bit dick by Smeagle. And then Yoda hits Smeagel with his scygel with his scycle. staff and they all run away from each other. This is kind of a sad ending.

Yeah. I would think, I would have expected, I would have expected Yoda to force choke him or something. Yeah. This list is too long. Yeah. To do. Let's see, we go what, 28, 18, 18 more minutes? 18 more minutes.

Yeah. Yeah. Do you want to just sit in silence for 18 minutes? We could. We could do karaoke again. We could do karaoke again. I wish we could have finished out the karaoke. I think we could have done a lot more songs.

Yeah, we could have. Look up, go on top tens, look up Yoda. I was looking up Frundel, but nothing came up. Best Yoda quotes. We'll do this. Do or do not, there is no try. That's a classic. That's number one.

Damn, he really did that shit. Number two, truly wonderful the mind of a child is. Now, hold up. Here's the comment. I like this one. It adds humor and shows. that Yoda appreciates children. From pedophile 420.

From Rihanna. Oh, 410. Oh, you know, well, she's just having a kid now. Yeah. So she's like, she's like, who's the best parent in the world? Yoda taught all those younglings. And, you know, if I'm going to look up. This one's really getting me.

Number three, size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? He should have said that in the last story. He should have. That would have been really good. out like a big throbber yeah but here's the comments getting me here this could work for Mario after he says this he uses a super mushroom laugh out loud damn you got me laughing too bud

yeah that's a good one damn yeah we oh Yoda and Mario looking found someone you have now when the fuck did he say that probably when someone he was found hmm there's like not even that many yoda quotes i think Yoda would be a better i think they i think they've run out like there's the big Yoda quote yeah the biggest Yoda quote do or do not

there is no try truly the truly wonderful the mind of a child is that's like that's a deep cut yeah

that's a deep cut Yoda quote going into the deep cuts by number two is a bad sign I know yeah because then this is like

a true Yoda fan I think that Yoda would be a better brother to Mario than Luigi is oh yeah and they're both green well Mario's red

no I'm saying Luigi's green i know yeah i don't think there would be that hard of a transition yeah i think that they would do a lot better together i think they would support each other more yeah yeah i think he would uh what dude they should make a mario game what's the maria game where you have that where you have the water backpack oh that's sunshine that but it's yoda jota's on his back yeah like when yoda goes on luke's back yeah but there's got to be like some kind of catalyst or whatever like not which i don't think catalyst is the right word there some kind of like a a hindrance for yota

You know, because, like, Mario and Yoda team up, that's, like, too powerful of a team. Yeah, well, that's why it would be so good to go. I guess... I think Yoda, if he's on the backpack, because Yoda could just... Yoda could fuck up the mushroom kingdom with just, like, one force push. That's true. Yeah, I think Yoda needs to have cancer. I think Yoda does need to have cancer.

I think maybe there's some... Malignant tumor. Yeah. On his brain, and sometimes he has a brain tumor. Yeah, he forgets, that's good. That could be really good. Also, he has no lightsaber. Okay, and he's also naked on Mario's back.

He doesn't get the lightsaber until, like, end of the game. Yeah, that's, like, the final boss. Or you, like, lose the final boss, and you're like, oh, it's impossible, and then he gets the lightsaber. Remember where my lightsaber is, I do? Yeah, it was in his pocket the whole time. His skin pocket. He's not wearing clothes. Malignant brain tumor I have.

There's a really graphic and upsetting scene. where it gets surgery on it. Dr. Rorya does surgery on Yota's tumor. It's like the field of flowers level in in Mother 3, where it's just like an interlude thing and you just like walk through,

but you're just like, yeah, you just walk through, you just are watching Yota's brain get cut apart. You have to do the surgery on Yoda's brain. Yeah. And there's like things. Yeah, it's like a mini game.

Yeah. it's like a minigame that's also like a big yeah it's a big part of the game too because you have to do it at the end of every level because the tumor grows something up to that's how you level up because then you can like there's different parts of the tumor that you can cut out if you yeah and you can gain a skill but you can also lose one yeah if you if you if you fuck up when you're doing the surgery he doesn't die but he gets like way stupid and it's really sad yeah yeah he's like he just goes like who are you he says who are you the entire next level.

Do not remember you are? I do. My son, you are? Yeah. And then the final boss is Luigi, who's really angry that Yoda replaced him as Mario's brother. That'd be good.

Yoda Mario is a good name. Yoda Mario would be the title of the game. Yeah. Yoda Mario is malignant. That'd be the... Yeah, it's also a tie-in with the movie malignant. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Yeah. God damn, dude. Yoda with a tumor. What if it's like Yoda and he's got like a... They're going to do that in the... Tumor in his butt. They're going to do that in episode 10. Yeah.

Yeah. Yoda's back. Yoda's back. But he's got a tumor. Yeah. They're going to bring back... They want to bring back all the like... Appraite.

I need you to do. Well, they want to bring back all the like nostalgia characters, but they know people will get mad because when they brought back Palpatine and shit. So they're like, okay, we're going to bring them all back. but they all have cancer in different parts of their body. So they're going to die. They're going to be there, but they're going to be in a back to tank. They're going to, yeah, they're like very, very sick.

They're going to be throwing up. They're going to be acting like Walter White, the entire. They're going to be in all three movies. They're all going to die at the end of episode 12. But we wanted them in there. We knew you guys would be really happy to see. It's like test footage and everyone's like there's like a new gray Yoda. Yeah.

It's just like, really sick Yoda. It's just like, cannot go on. there's a guys there's a new admiral Akbar that throws up and he holds his wife hand and he cries yeah

Darth mall is back and he has way more bumps on his head he has like one like one horn in the center that's just like yeah

it looks like a fucking like like gooey duck is that how you say I don't know. Geo duck? I don't know. The clam. I have no idea.

It's native to the Pacific Northwest. I know, I know what you're talking about, but I don't know how to say it. The clam that's native to the Pacific Northwest. Yeah, I think of Geo Dude. Oh, yeah. From Pokemon. Also, the Pokemon are coming to Star Wars and they'll have cancer, too. Mm-hmm.

That's, that's what they do from now on. Have cancer, Pikachu does. Just like me. That's how they justify. They're like, they're going to make. Like the next, like, big, like, crossover movie where, like, okay, it's going to be Star Wars and Mario and Pokemon. And, like, they're, so, like, all these characters, Star Trek, they're all crossing through dimensions. They're crossing over into the Star Wars universe.

But because of the, like, the power, they have to use the drive for their spaceships. It emits radiation, and they all have horrible cancer. And they're all like, they're like, we need to work to. together to destroy palpatine junior and it's just like squirtle and his his shell is like cracking and he's like they have they have uh like golem yeah but like you can see like pebbles are like falling out of his body and they have yugi from yugo but he's just in a hospital bed the whole movie he's asleep Yeah, we got Clifford the big red dog

But he's missing a leg And he also has like Part of his face is missing And Yeah, I mean It's the only way he was able to be kept alive It's like the fucking It's like the scene

It's through a two It's like the scene at the end of end game Where all the like portals open up And they're like on your left And they all come out But it's like they're like We need to fight Palpatine A bunch of portals open up

And as everyone like just falls through It's like Oh They're all, like, throwing up and turning green because the portals have, like, a reallactor. It gives you, like, cancer. It gives you cancer immediately. Instant cancer.

Yeah. And, like, accelerate. It's like, it's like if you, like, were able to survive with, like, bowel cancer for 20 years. Yeah. Yeah, because it travels through time, too. And then all the characters who cross over, they still have cancer forever, even in their own movies. We couldn't fix it. We couldn't fix that from the movie.

There's something wrong with the character. I don't know. We tried to publish new picture, new Clifford picture books, but it has cancer in all the pictures. I don't know what to do. It went through the printer, and then he lost his leg. The artist drew him normal, and then we printed out. And he goes, well, those big, fucked up black lumps on them. Like, dogs get it.

Yeah. And then it's like, it's like they're making a sequel and they're like, we're going to cross over like even more properties. Like, you're going to be so surprised with like who shows up in this. And they're doing like, and like, you're like, damn, like, I wish I knew like who they were crossing over. Like, I want the spoilers. I'm so excited. Like, it's coming out soon. And you like turn on the TV.

And it's like Stephen Colbury is a giant. He's like, I was filming a movie. I can't say one movie. But I'm really excited for this to come out. Oh man, that scene, that's seen retroactively all his books on the covery as a giant like goiter. They have to print new editions of all his books. yeah do you see do you see the new star wars movie yeah i don't know i'm not really too into it i mean

like you know it's it's cool to see like they brought like yoda back and everything but like he has cancer and then like when yoda and the guy mori from tuesdays but mori have to fight jango pet but they all have to do it was so upset after Superman was in the last the last big Star Wars crossover movie like there was this like there was this hospital ward

with all these kids with terminal cancer they wanted to be Superman to cheer him up and he showed up he keeled over and died for cancer the second he walked in the room dude that fucking final battle and the new Star Wars is crazy Judge Judy shows up

at the end oh my god yeah i just like one of those stupid fucking crossover movies it's just like they just keep bringing like judge joe brown and like they do like they only bring like circuit court's tv judges Yeah.

Oh, man, this is going to be the craziest crossover. We got Judge Cherry. We got Cherry Springer. They get a new writer for all the movies, and they're doing another, like, end-game-style crossover movie, and it's, like, all the poros open, and it's only, like, it's only, like, anthropomorphic, like, animal. Like, it's, like, all the Zootopia characters come through, and, like, Parapa, the Rapa comes through. Bugs Bunny comes through Jessica Rabbit, of course. Just like hundreds of them Every one of the like anthropomorphic animals ever made

And they're like Wow, it seems like due to some strange chemical in the portals It's made everyone who crosses through them pregnant It's just three hours of the cartoon animals just becoming Is their stomach's getting bigger And going, oh, I'm so pregnant. Yeah, because they're using the,

they're basing all these movies of like the YouTube algorithm. So it's like Elsa's Spider-Man pregnant. So it's all just shit like that. It's just like, yeah, this is like the first movie entirely written by the YouTube algorithm. To destroy Palpatine, we have to pop every pimple on Elsa's face. We have to do a full disgusting princess makeover.

Dude, do they still do those? I don't know. I think the algorithms like shifting. now that it's just like uh well i'm sure if you look like look up like uh like baby shark pimple yeah something like that like some crazy shit would show up let's open an incognito window here yeah youtube why are you opening it incognito i don't want this to affect my that's true uh yeah baby shark fucking crazy though like i know you and pierce used to talk about it a lot but like the baby shark trap remix oh dude i've heard all these here's an ad my

nephews oh man dude i'm so fucking sick of cocoa melon i gotta go home for christmas i haven't heard this in two years and i'm genuinely so mad i brought it up because i won't play it i literally faster version of baby shark when i list when i lived with my my my parents and like my sister they would play this on the fucking living room tv all day what is that i don't know diana diana diana yeah baby shark coca melon nursery rhymes and kids songs you want to listen to this They put Baby Shark and Cocoa Mellon together Baby Shark karaoke

Dude, they're trying to kill me, dude Yeah That's gonna be the worst I'm gonna have to go home And listen to that shit with my nephews Pretend like I like it Look at this I've been trying to show them

Like Mr. Bean and stuff Look at this Whoa That is a huge pimple That's what, yeah I've been trying to show my nephews Like Mr. Bean Yeah, you gotta get him started early

Yeah I mean Mr. Bean's like the easiest one Yeah To get kids into they think it's funny immediately yeah it's really it is really a shame uh his mouth cancer ever since yeah that's why i can't speak his tongue ever since he appeared in revenge of palpatine the third episode 75 revenge of palpatine the third featuring mr bean featuring mr bean yeah yeah yeah that was a huge get for them they thought the they thought the they thought the bean

estate would never allow him to appear. No, he did it almost immediately. Yeah. He has to, I mean, Rowan Atkinson has to pay for those cars. Yeah. But, you know, he should, you know, it would be so cool. If Rowan Atkinson did a press conference that was called Mr. He's like, Mr. Bean is dead.

He died last night. I saw Mr. Bean. Rowan Ekinson. He was hit by one of my many cars. I have one million big cars. One billion cars. I have one billion big cars. And I hit me.

Mr. Bain with all of them. I can drive them normally. I don't put it. I don't drive them from a chair on top of the car. Dude, that's the crazy, like, Rowan Atkinson just owns, like, a shit ton of, like, Ashton Martins. Really? Yeah, dude, he's made, like, Mr. Bean was on.

There's six episodes of Mr. Bean. Yeah, there's very few. How many are there exactly? Six, because it's like a BBC series. Yeah. I think it's six. I don't want to. I watch them shits over and over.

I mean, it's still good. I think it's, yeah, then Mr. Bean, the animated series 14 took off way longer yeah or like the

original series yeah there are 14 episodes of the oh there's 14 yeah damn I thought that

every BBC series only had six oh I guess you're wrong here yeah well well

I'm stupid man I love Mr. Bean me too he'd be making me laugh my nephew's been calling him Mr. Pepperman

though. It's so funny. Why? He, I, we were watching it in the living room. And then I think he was, it was, it was Mr. Bean when he goes to the public pool. Oh, yeah. And his shorts fall off. Yeah.

He turned to me and said, why did Mr. Pepperment do that? I was like, who? Who's Mr. Pepperman? Mr. Pepperman is Mr. Bean's nemesis. Yeah. Who pulls his pants off all the time. He's a ghost that follows Mr. Bean around and makes him. do all that fucking dumbass shit.

Yeah. Your nephew's actually tapped into the deep Mr. Bean lore. He can see, he sees a Mr. Bean character. Nobody else can. He's like the sixth sense. The seventh sense is for seeing Mr. Pepperment. Damn. Imagine how crazy Mr. Peppermint looks, too.

Yeah, probably like a ghost. Yeah, probably just a white sheet. Probably a white ghost. Yeah, probably one big white sheet. Yeah. All right. Go subscribe to the paper. If you love the karaoke

We'll do it again Next time we'll do it for an hour Can we get it got interrupted? Can you do karaoke on Twitch? I don't know probably now Yeah All right bye Bye