Podcast About List - Ep. 178 - I want to wear a thog

Episode Date: January 19, 2022

Yep its presents www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist

Come in, come in, come in, and we see a butt. All accounts to the ball list. Every crap monster. Yeah. Okay. All right. There's a sparrow at the window. I can feel you both again.

Yeah, I know. And I'm feeling you both again. We're back. We're back. Unbelievable. Crazy. I never thought it would happen again. I do.

I can see you guys. I can feel you guys. I can hear you, but I can't smell or taste you. well that's the problem because you've had your tongue and your nose all up in me all day long yeah so you might want to get that checked out yeah yeah I got to you still remember what I smell and taste like oh I wrote it down okay then we're fine yeah that's what you were writing in the terminal before the episode yeah I was writing in the terminal yeah yeah what you have is terminal I do yeah I sorry to announce this on the show leukemia look you would never get leukemia no you're not

like you would i feel like you're not big enough i have it honestly i don't mean this in a bad way you're not big enough of a talent to die of cancer does that make sense what do you look at my diet people who get cancer no no no fuck you i'm gonna get cancer no you i'm gonna get cancer no you know shut up shut up i'm getting you know who had cancer my grandpa really he must have been a great man i think so was he like a great writer or something i feel like you have to be no Really? He wasn't a great writer or something? He was a generational talent to...

Yeah. You did. You're very talented, but I think you will get like... He was the CEO of Polaroid, I think. I think you're like high school car crash talented. You know what I mean? You know, but you're not like... I did get in the art show in fifth grade.

Yeah, that's what I mean. Like you... Oh, yeah. Like in high school, you would die in a car crash. Everybody would be like, wow, he could have... He could have made it long enough to get cancer. Yeah. But he died.

what's yeah well so what age bracket is cancer or what talent bracket are we talking age or talent this a mixture okay well i want you to lay out i want you to lay out the whole so cancer sometimes gets so cancer from the ages of one to five that just means that you were basically just nothing and like nobody ever yeah you were a white blood cell that you were a white blood cell that formed like you might as well have never even been born if you get cancer when you're a baby like that's so like a huge waste of like hospital bills and all that. You're just

like feeding the fucking medical industrial system. You're feeding like in League of Legends. Yeah, these doctors are just grinding XP off of you.

Yeah. Yeah, no, you just quit. Yeah, just docked off. Just connect from the reincarnation system. There's no point in fucking, yeah. Just stay in limbo.

Just stay. Don't, we don't need you on the big door. We don't need you on this plane of existence. If I got, if I got diagnosed like next week. It would be funny. What do you mean?

It'd be funny, but like... And then I would say, I would say 10 to 25. That's the real, like, lost talent year, years. You know what I mean? 10? Well, there's some talent. Have you ever seen, uh, uh, what's that fucking... Look up America's got talent.

They've got some crazy. That Asian fellow with the violin. Who's that? Yo-Yo Ma. He's not 10 years old? He's still 10. Wait, is he actually 10 years old? Yeah, he's been 10.

I don't know that. No, I think he was really good at 10. Like, I feel like that's when prodigies get cancer, you know what I mean? It's like 10 to 20. We'll say 20, right? And then you have the post-college years, the 20s where everybody makes their masterpiece. And then I feel like in your 30s, if you die of cancer in your 30s, that means that you were stopped for making, from being really truly great.

Does that make sense? Yeah, like Robin Williams. Yeah. Who died of cancer. Yeah. Cancer of the mind. Yeah. and then if you die again

I would say Cancer of the soul Yeah Yeah And then if you die Of cancer late in life You're just like You're someone's grandma

Yeah You have a grandma Kind of thing to you You know what your talent was Fudge If you're old You got grandma qualities That's right

Your talent is making a really Amazing Thanksgiving pie Uh huh Yeah Yeah The sweet potato With the marshmallows in it Yeah yeah

I know your southern ass Had that as a kid Yeah dude I made it for Thanksgiving I know he did. It's fucking... I know... I know your Southern Baptist ass did that.

It wasn't Baptist. Yeah, you were? It was evangelical. Oh. Evangelical. Were you baptized? Yes. And what do you mean?

Oh, were you... Everybody gets baptized. Case closed. That's not a Baptist thing. Everyone gets baptized. Catholics get baptized, right? When I'm around. We should make our own kind of baptized.

Did I say this on the podcast? What? You have to say what it is for us to know. Like an evil Shabbas goi that, like, baptized. as it's Jewish people. Why do you have to be a Shabbas Goy? That could just be like a Jack the Ripper.

Jack the dripper. Yeah. Right? Well, I was thinking because, you know, like, they can't, like, during, uh, was it the Shabbos? I don't know. Whenever they need a Shabboskoy. The Sabbath, yeah.

When they can't like turn the, that's a cushy gig. They can't turn the lights on or anything, you know? So it's just like, oh, no, no, no. Like, he's like, oh, it's like, oh, it's so dark in my place. And he's like, oh, no, trust me. Trust me, there's no There's nothing there. You, my friend.

You, my friend, have a dark and twisted mind. I would never even consider that on the show. Do you guys remember? I don't think so. I think Shabasquay, I think, would be a really good job. Yeah, I mean, I'm only saying that so that I can throw it out there so I can have, get it.

What if you get, what if you're going for a Jewish guy who has like a robotic leg and you have to like, Yeah. You have to, like, take care of it. If you got a robotic leg, do you have to take it off? Do you imagine, like, smelling somebody's prosthetic hole? Did I ever tell, fuck, oh, wait, speaking of... Did you?

Yeah. What? So... You smelled someone's fucking leg hole? So, well, not the, like, the stoma, but, like... No, the, like, hole that their leg goes in? So, there is a... It's like a second taint.

It's like a Christmas tradition in my family. To smell Grandpa's leg? So my mom's grandpa had diabetes. and got his leg chopped off and had a prosthetic leg and then when he passed away my family at our family Christmas party

put like a wreath in it in the leg and like wrapped it in tinsel and shit and it was tradition for us to take photos with my great grandpa's prosthetic leg

there's a photo of me fucking crying next to it that's like true detective shit yeah I know what the fuck like that's fucking crazy there's a photo of me just straight up crying next to it because I always thought it was weird do you remember the the whiff no not really but like can you imagine one day one day are they plastic is it plastic one day that smells like gonna hit me in stuff well I mean this was like in the 70s okay so that thing must have made out of it was it was a

it was made out of pure oil it was a different guy's leg yeah they could only do swaps back that they put like a piece of rebar yeah yeah Yeah. It was the guy who couldn't afford the medical bill's leg. There was two guys who lost their leg. It was a Chinese guy's leg with a, like, the marking of, like, a train wheel on it. It was, uh, it was, uh, it's like that fucking, holy shit, what was that show called? The leg show. SpongeBob.

No, all right. Well, I'll just explain the premise of the show, and then somebody who remembers it can reach out to me later. It's like a guy They had Lego sets of it And he could replace his limbs That was like his power Inspector Gadgett No no no no no He was like it wasn't called like Max Steel

And I remember Max Steel Max Steel was a different Lego thing We need to have a theme song For the segment of the show That is us trying to guess What Patrick's talking about That would be a good thing to have on hand Whenever

Yeah a soundboard It's a Lego set And they have like this If we get office space, we got to get a physical soundboard. Yeah. Yeah, a huge one. Yeah. They fly around in a blue sphere.

Effects pedals. Mm-hmm. So you're still going. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Talking about. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. If you remember that, if you remember that, just hit me up. About a blue sphere man. A blue sphere and a guy who can change his limbs. That's called the Earth, Patrick. Yeah. And there's Legos.

There's a Lego. There was a Lego set. It was a TV show. I think it was on, I think it was on ABC Family. I think it was. He was on WBZ kids. It was on my ceiling at night when I closed my eyes. What if I, yeah, because what if I just made this shit up and it didn't exist?

I wouldn't put it across here. But I remember the Lego set. It would be funny to have like a creepy pasta candle cove situation where you're like watching static every day, like a creepy kid. But then it's just like, yeah, like I invented a new superhero. Right. He's awesome. The other day I was, I made myself laugh. I should have texted you this.

I made myself laugh thinking about like you bringing a girl home. Me? Right? yeah and like everything stuff's getting hot and heavy right right like really hot and heavy and you guys are like making out in your room and then you're thinking about and then you're laughing you were thinking about you're having sex no you were having this you this was a separate scenario and then later you thought of something i thought it so after he you know you imagine well yeah but i i i'm not going to waste a thought and that's a few of them that's what he

does sir there's nothing better than laughing after jack off but i like you like you're hooking up with someone right and then you like like all right let's say let's say you like you're making out right oh I'm thinking about it now oh god listen dude I'm trying to get you horny you've oh I already am I you pull their pants down right you go and then they're they're laid down on your bed right and they're about to get their fucking shit sucked on right and then they look up what were you thinking about

why were you thinking this has way too much setup look up at the ceiling of your room and you have those glow in the dark stars All over the ceiling. What does that have to be him? What does that have to do with Patrick? I just thought I was putting that Patrick would have Glow the Dark Stars on his ceiling.

And they're like, what? There is like a crazy frog stuffed animal that hangs on my wall. I think the glow of the dark stars are way better. My room is already way worse. You should do the Gloved Dark Stars. You've seen my room. I looks like, fucking...

Yeah, I've been in that situation. It looks like Peewee's Playhouse in there. You've taken me home. I have Yeah You unbutton I got those H&M pants

With 10 buttons On the fucking zipper It takes you Giant button Yeah it takes you In 10 minutes To get my cock and balls out Right

And as you're doing that I'm just looking up At those stars Yeah Saying It spells Pat You spelled Patrick With me

It says It says Good night Patrick It says good night Patrick In glow The dark star Oh my God Oh, yeah.

I need more shit like that in my house. I need to get funny stuff on the wall. He has silly shit on your walls. He is, like, deflated birthday balloons, like, taped by the string to the ceiling, like, hanging down. Not even a joke. Had that in my room. Had that in my room when I was, like, 18. I had a deflated birthday.

He's a framed sock, like, the first dollar at a restaurant. And they're like, what's that? It's my favorite sock. On my wall, I have a drawing you gave me. at Muya's, like, the first week we met. That's cute. And then... You just got my cum on your sheets.

I think so. I think so. I have a drawing that was in... The whole sheet pinned up on the wall. My first night with Caleb. One, one, like, single dot of gum in the middle of... The big red circle, like a clickbait thumbnail. It mostly went in my face.

A bunch of... Like, one of those things where it's, like, like, strings with like clothes pins with a bunch of Polaroids and it's just you just come just all over your face

from very slightly different angles just like a hundred pictures it's like a 360 thing because I was doing like a 3D study just kind of recreate they're using the camera rig that they used in the matrix

to make the camera spin around where it takes a bunch of still photos at 360 degrees we need to you and me need to hook up we need some way to we need us getting back in the room together has made you way too sexual. We need to

so I don't get you know I'm not comfortable with that stuff. We need to get, we need something tumultuous. Our friendship is too good these days. I need to fuck it up by you and me having sex with you. That would be that would be a good way to ruin the podcast. Yeah, we, I mean, the first couple years of the show we had struggles.

Did we? You guys were in L.A. Yeah. Then COVID. That wasn't a struggle. That was fun, dude. You guys had a good time in L.A. The sunshine shining on my back. Hell, yeah. It was incredible. What do you mean? Surfing, bikini model bitch coconut bananas every day? I was in fucking Boston. I was in fucking Boston. I had to work at Wife Alive. But yeah, and then you guys were in New York

and I was in Boston. So now we need to go somewhere that Caleb can't go. Me and Caleb we're going to go to. We're going to go to Acapulco on our honeymoon. We're going on a vacation. I'm going to slow until it balances. I'm going to, listen to me. I'm going to edge you until you're so full of calm, you float like the Goodyear balloon. Blimp. That's what's going to happen. Yeah.

No, listen, Patrick, we needed move somewhere that Caleb can't move for a long time. Yeah, because we went on vacation. We went on a short vacation. That was too short. That didn't measure up. Why do you guys? Plug your ears. We're going to a castle in Europe.

We're going to move into a castle. Oh, Trin. Little do you know. I'm an expert. I'm an expert. Keep them plugged. Keep them plugged. And I just heard that you guys are going to the halo.

We're not going to the ring without me. And you guys know that's my favorite play. Yeah, you should move there. You should look for... Yeah, you should go to the halo ring. You think I haven't been looking on Zillow at Halo every day? I'll plug my ears. Why is he plugging his ears?

I don't know. I thought you guys are going to plan something, too. No, we were in L. It's the last... Caleb has to be abandoned. Wait, both do you plug your ears? Okay. I can't.

I'm wearing headphones. Okay. We'll just turn off your ears. I'll close my eyes. Okay. your eyes i'm gonna go i'm gonna go to the grocery store by myself okay you can open them okay speaking of closing your eyes do you guys want your christmas presents oh yeah right now i forgot mine i guess i have to give mine on the next we've been talking about christmas presents yeah oh so

okay well let's tell caleb tell us tell them what you got us i got cameron uh ruth bader ginsberg funkopop it's awesome yep and i got patrick a shirt with a dabbing unicorn and it says fighting HIV AIDS is my superpower what is your and I wore that I wore that in a bar for a couple minutes

he when I first gave you you seemed so embarrassed and I was like put it on you were like no there were three people like looking wearing the same shirt wearing the same shirt

just looking at you but that bar was like kind of packed and there was three people looking directly at me and I was just like did they seem like they had AIDS yes

he bawled up the shirt Very skinny people with IV drips sitting at the bar. I saw their lesions. What they would like if you wore that shirt? You're saying you're fighting it. It doesn't say, I'm fighting for. You fight against. I guess that's true.

Yeah. You actually disappointed them by not putting it on. Well, I did put it on later. You looked at a shirt that said, I hate, I hate AIDS, and you looked in the eyes of three people with AIDS, and you bawled up the shirt and you shoved it away. I slapped them with it. Yeah. You think fighting AIDS means fighting people. people with AIDS.

Yeah, I had a t-shirt can and I shot it at them. Who wants their present first? Me? Are you kidding? Okay. Wait, which one do you think is better first? Okay, wait, let's just both close our eyes and you both give it to both of them. I'm going to get Patrick his first.

I'm going to get Patrick his first. Come on. Pat, close your eyes. Keep your eyes close. Oh, dear. Keep them close. Don't open them. I'm going to do the...

Hold out your hand. Hold out your hand. Oh, my God. Okay, open. Wow! Read it. My nephew has the same one. Read it.

What is it? Tell people what it is. Read it. This is the chat and count emoji phone. From? From Leapfrog. I'm so fucking jealous. Read the blurbs on there.

Play games and watch cute videos starring Scout. Add emojis just like a real phone. Just like a real phone. Fifty plus activities and phrases and songs. Wow. It's pretty exciting, right? Plug it in. Hi, this is Scout.

Let's talk on the phone. Talk to Sout. Talk to Scout. Talk to Scout. I want to hear what Scout has to say. Hello, police. My friend just got me the greatest gift all time. I need a friendship ambulance.

I have too much love in my heart. Oh, geez. I'm having a heart attack because I love it. It's full of love. My heart's attacking me with love right now. That's very sweet, Cameron. Yeah, I thought he would like it. Was that on your list, Pat?

Yes. Yeah. Who are you calling? My mom. Wow. Scout is with your mom right now? What are you doing with my mom? Scout.

Scout. Scout counting with my mom. my mom? What are you doing with his mom? Does my dad know? Does my dad know? Does my dad know you're counting with my mom? He counts strokes. I can't do this anymore. This is fucked up. I'm sorry, dude. I'm I thought this is a great gift. And now I find out that scout and my mom. And now it's all public too. Yeah, exactly. And we can't edit that out. We can't edit it. This is going live to tape. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Fuck. My turn. Your turn. Close your eyes. Okay, open

Oh my God Open it up New fashion weaving cap Invisible nylon hairnets with elastic Easy to apply size control makes one size fit most hairstyles Put that on Open that up, put it on You should have Janice style it for you

Whoa, wait, it's a wig Oh my God It's beautiful too. It's so, it's platinum blonde. Holy. Oh my God. I've been needing one of these for so long.

Put it on. This thing is like high quality too. This is a good wig. Yeah, that looks, damn. It's like a, it's like a hundred dollar wig you got me. Yeah, no. Was it? No.

I wish. Just say yes. Yes. It's a thousand dollars. Whoa. You look like Enuyasha. I need a hand. Hair cut.

Yeah, dude, you gotta get that style. Wait, wait, let me block one. I like that. Move your head. Oh, my God. That's amazing. I got to look in the mirror. Holy dude.

Wow. You literally look like an anime character. It's so crazy. I barely see it. I really got to cut it, but I do love it. Thank you so much. You straight up. Say something

You crushed it Say something evil Do I look like a You kind of look like a You kind of look like Malfoy's dad Lucius Should I grow my hair back out

The way that you're playing You're playing with it I can't see Ugh You just instantly You put that on You literally instantly started acting like a girl Wait I need to get a hat

Hold on Yeah, what's up? What's up with Scout? I want to see the emojis. Let me see. Let me see that shit. Damn. Whoa, it's got a whole screen and shit.

This is great. Not really a lot of choices between the emojis. There's over 50 activities. All right, I got my hair. Over 50 activities? Holy crap. what you have to wear this everywhere i'm going to i'll wear it out you should cut it into like a bob or something i feel like i like the link the length yeah the length is good it's like really i think you

have to style it a little bit though i think you got maybe i think maybe it's well yeah it's also patricky to be giving me back shots and pull on this and take it off my head it's also oh dude you're never gonna you're never gonna outgrow the trixie mottella like allegations yeah it's a good it's a good color you can dye it whatever color you want true true what should i go we should have a weak dying episode it's really funny it's just like plain blondes do have more fun well you can always die a blonder yeah yeah good point thank you very much care and what did you get us patrick that you brought with you i forgot mine great you forgot yours.

Okay, great. You literally forgot. But I know, I know that you guys are going to love them. I spent a lot of time. I guess, yeah, tune in whenever Patrick decides to get his shit together. Yeah. And care about his friends. We can pause it right now and then go to my house and then I can give it to you.

I bet you haven't even bought them. What are you talking about? That's what I bet. I bet you haven't even, you haven't even put in the thought to get your best friends anything. I got, you got you stuff? Like what? He got you like five things, Caleb. I can get you five things.

Like every day we hung up. I kept buying every time I saw him, he'd be like, look, this is what I'm getting for Caleb. It would be something different. And he'd be like, no, I changed my mind. So you have a lot of gifts coming to you. I kept buying him stuff and then realizing I liked it. So that means that you got me something good, at least at first.

And then you got me something stupid that you don't want. No. No, because I want to keep the thing I got you still. Really? The thing I got you now is actually. really fucking sick. God, dude, we're supposed to get, I hope it's another wig. That wig is shedding.

Yeah, I've definitely, I've ruined my... I gave you an anti-girlfriend gift. Yeah, yeah, well, I don't need a girlfriend. I'm my own girlfriend now. That's true. I got Cameron something that will complete something else for him. The first half of his penis? No, you remember what I got him.

I've been waiting for something like that for a long time. A second penis half? Yeah. Oh, my God. That'd be nice. Because you have that kind of blank space between. Yeah, he's playing your balls and your Your tip that floats like Rayman's dick

You just have a floating Rayman Petus tip It's floating, but when it's not When it's not there, it's plain Do you think Rayman just has... You know, like, uh... I think Rayman just puts his whole body up in there. He's very small.

Do you think he even has a ball sack Or do you have two floating balls? No. He's not wearing... Well, oh, right, because he's wearing clothes. Yeah. Do you know when you dress up as Captain Hook? Yeah.

The hook that you hold like a... a thing inside and it's like a it has a hook and you like hold the thing inside you need a small one of those that your P-hole can hold on to. Oh, that's good. And get a hook on the end and then you can use it to carry stuff. It's just a Prince Albert at that point. Yeah, well, no, but you just hold it. Yeah.

But you could get more groceries. Yeah, you could carry a small bag of groceries. I don't know if you guys relate to this. Whenever I bring groceries back from the car, I'm like, oh, I got to get them all in one trip, you know. But then if I could hug some... I can't look at you because I'm too gorgeous. Look at me in the eyes.

Do I look like a slut? It's like retaining my brain. It's making new neural connections that aren't supposed to be there. You're going to take this off and, like, kill yourself immediately. Do you guys think I look better with this? You look, wait, let me get a glamour video here. Whoa. Do you toss it around

Let me see Wow Get some slow-mo shots here Oh my god It does make it back like a girl Let me let me slow-mo it Hold on All right go

It's a horrible job I have only been a girl for 10 minutes Okay And you're already you're criticizing me Yeah How about you try to be having long hair I can't believe it To him

I'm gonna crack your Now I'm definitely having sex with you There's no chance I'm not going to fuck you It's going to be crazy news for your wife You're going to get crazy nudes in your life From my phone Okay I'm not even hair's not even going to be in it

The hair is not going to be in it No it's just going to be my body My beautiful naked body Maybe you'll get a strand poking out of the top of the frame Yeah I can live with that So did anybody give me like a dress I thought you already had one

Or a thog What's it called? A thog? The thing that weird underwear girls wear. Oh. A thog. That's a thing. What are they called?

He heels. He heals? He heals. He heals? I don't know. What are those? Do I need a lip stip? A purse.

Do I need a ball of lip stip? Need some lip stip. But what you need to carry the lip stip in is your purse. I need to get a pruce. Yeah. What other shit do I need? I might need a... A jewelry.

I might need some jewelry. Yeah. I need something clanging on my. neck right now definitely that'd be crazy if you got like you know there's like uh fucking what they called bras oh yeah oh my god i kind of look like a brats doll right now my banging body do you do yeah yeah i look fine i were to some makeup yep here ask me ask me a question any question i just imagine just like a kid getting a brats doll that looks exactly like Caleb for truckers and just crying here just fucking

crying because it's so beautiful. We should pay a company like a million dollars to make an action figure of this look. All right, ask me any question.

What's your favorite color? I don't know. Oh my God. Oh, my God. Oh, I'm going to flood. Oh, God. Oh, my God, I'm going to search. I'm going to do the flood

Super Mario Sunshine. I'm going to do the rocket nozzle from Oh Jesus Christ Oh God I got a blast Oh God Now I need to see the

The girl versions Of everyone I mean a lot of people Have seen the girl versions of me Yeah Everybody you walk by on the street Somebody posted that photo The face app of me

Where I look beautiful as hell You seen that one Me with the bangs Every time I use face app on myself to make me a girl, I look like a fucking bitch. Yeah? I look so rude. I use slave app. If I, if I saw the face app version of me in line, like in front of me, I would leave.

Yeah. I would not want to hear them order at the register. Well, you just have, yeah, you, you, it works. I have, I have like, I have the, I have the male version. I have the male version of resting bitch face, but like not the male version. Like, I just have resting bitch face, but like on a guy. But you cover it with. the beard now but if you got if the beard leaves the beard and mustache is gone then it's full

bitch yeah you just look like a stupid sexy bitch yeah yeah i mean i look girl version of me look fine as hell you got resting friendly face i'm i make her my damn wife you would not want to marry a woman who look just like you actually maybe you would maybe you would actually i wouldn't want to marry a girl looks just like me bald patricks oh two patricks raising a family They're people who look exactly like me. No, no, no. Patrick, the scientists finally create, like, like, asexual reproduction for humans, like cloning.

And, and they, they tested on Patrick, and it's just, like, a full family of cloned Patrick. It's like fucking duplicity. They just keep getting dumber and dumber. Duplicity. That's what it be called. No, that, was it multiplicity or duplicity, that movie? You know, I don't know what you're talking about at all.

But I don't know. Oh, I'm thinking. I'm getting, you know what I'm doing. You look like a Bond girl a little bit? You could, oh, dude. Oh, my God. Yeah, Katia. James Bond, you're...

Katia, extremely pussy. Yeah. Katia stinky. Yeah, Katia wet pussy. Yeah, Katia stinky vagina. Nadia. Katia Borat Vigine. Nadia Vigina.

Mm-hmm. Yep. These are drag names. Yeah. These are just... I know. Fuck, we've unlocked something crazy. I like when drag names are like they have poop in them.

That's funny to me. Petunia fart. Yeah, petunia fart. Petunia fart. Scooby-dookey. What about Lucifer poop? Ah. Yeah, I can't get loose of her poop because I love it so much.

Can't shake loose of her poop. Dana poop. I like her poop so bad. Poop diamond? That might be good. What about someone? Lucy fruit. Lucy fruit's good.

What about like, I can't think of a good last name for this, but first name, Pupa. Hmm. Poop a lot. Poop a lot. Poop a lot. Yeah. Poop a lot of stuff. The knights of the brown table at Poup a lot.

No. The wipes of the brown. No, stop. Shitter, fuck. No, and it wouldn't be King Sharthur, okay? It would be King Sharthur, and what are the knights? No. What are the knights names? Lisa New Car.

Knight. Who's one of the knights? I'm trying to think, there's Lancelot, there's Galaad, there's Tirdseville. How about, Sir Tertzville? God I had a big shit. That one doesn't work. Galeigh I had a shit in my pants. Gali, I had that shit.

At the brown table with fucking Sir Shartner. fart fur fur fur sure the wizard turdlin oh yep the smelly grail the smelly grail that's pretty you know it's pretty easy for me a professional community yeah but i think this is going to be a new era for me yeah I got to say, I'm not sure we're ever going to record with me not wearing this again. Yeah. I feel like, I feel like the guy who invented the atom bomb right now. Do I look like Lady Gaga? This is what I'm talking about.

I just became death. I need to put on. I just like, I just changed the world in an irreversible way. You Oppenheimered my head. Yeah. I'm going to put on sunglasses and I'm going to look good. Dude, if you put, if you had this outfit, you put on sunglasses and you put on sunglasses and you just, like, went into a CVS, like, 20 people would ask you for an autograph.

Yeah, they just think I was famous. Yeah. The Bud Light hat, sunglasses, and that hair, people would be, like, swarming you. Dude, put me in a big shirt. I'm fucking Ariana Grande. Big ass hoodie going over my thumbs. Oh, my God. Lollipop.

Yeah, that's right. Lollap, tiny little tricycle. Uh-huh. I'm Ariana Grande. Yep. Spiral. Tiny little tricycle, spiral makeup on your cheek. Mm-hmm.

Like Tufts of hair back here. Oh, yeah. You go like, ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-he. That's right. That could be a really good look for you. ask me for an autograph. You should play the jigsaw puppet in the next saw movie. That would actually be huge for you.

Why would I, I don't look anything like him. You look exactly like him. Really? Yeah. I think I have similar facial structure to Billy. You have big red spirals on your face. Oh, you put those on just now. Yeah, with my lip-stip, okay?

It was here. Oh, yeah, we got the lip-stip. We got the purse. I got a whole makeup, do-it-yourself outfit. Yeah. Thing from Mariquette. You look like a primpess. You think so?

Mm-hmm. would you look at me would you guys rescue me do i like from what that's important bowser bowser uh i'd i'd complete one world but if if it was a year in another castle situation i'm not moving i'm not going to the desert maybe lemmy yeah what's uh or fucking uh what what are you saying i want a bowser's kids what about waser junior lemmy one of those guys i'd rescue you from them oh from them oh okay i'm saying i'd fight like one boss like i'm definitely not Hit in the desert. Ludwig.

Definitely not Waterworld. Yeah. That's one of Bowser's kids. Why not Waterworld? It's the best song. Let's list them. That's what the podcast is about. That is true.

Yeah, no, I think that I could be kind of a third Mario princess next to Daisy. You'd be the fourth. Yeah. Princess Luna. Princess Roso. What?

Princess Luna. She's not a princess. She needs to be, okay, for you to be a princess, you got to be caught by Bowser. That bitch is fucking a. You could be. You could be...

He's like a space god. You could be like Wario's girlfriend. You mean it? Yeah. Wincese Weech. Yeah. They should have Winces Weech. Yeah, why not?

They should have every... She would look more Italian than... Okay, wait. This would actually be a great game. I'm pitching this to Nintendo right now. Yeah. Wario, like, gets a big machine and he starts a converter and he puts everybody through. And so Mario has to change everyone back.

And it's like, whoa, she. And, and Wonky Wong and Wowser and Winsett's Wheat. And everybody turns Wario style. Can you imagine? Mario versus Wario, the game. Because there will be a movie that comes out before it. And the game is a game version of the movie.

It's a tie-in movie. Can you imagine how disappointing that would be to be... Or Aragon. To find out that you were... Can you imagine how upsetting that would be to find out that you were someone's warrior? Damn. Right?

You just see like a better version. of your, a better looking version of yourself, skinny, you, everyone loves. The thing about, okay. But you don't meet fucking matric all the time. Like, they have to have the exact name. The thing about Wario and Mario is if it weren't for their outfits and they ran into each other, they might think that they're like cousins, I feel like.

True. It's the outfits that makes them enemies. And also the upside down. Like if you walked into a CVS with your sunglasses and your Budlight hat and you saw somebody with a hat with an upside down buttlight logo. Yeah. Named Daleb. Yeah.

A Coors Light hat And a brown wig Yeah Mm-hmm Even that You would see them be like Whoa, that's crazy But like an upside down version

Yeah I guess it does have to be Yeah Bud right What It'd be because you know like the The Walloichi The L goes upside down But everything would go upside down

Fuck you're right Why does an L going upside down Turn into an R Well look at it There's one on the hat right now If you flip it upside down It becomes an R I don't think that becomes an R

I think it becomes a I guess maybe like a lowercase R I really fucked up lower case R I would never A fun game of hangman I'll up set out Yes sir Yep

Yep Heard that Doing hangman with my family I get really mad Because I did the word In my made up language With its own alphabet Uh yeah

You didn't guess Durthon I'm also drawing the guy Exactly like my dad It's all done in Sigelium That fucking language which Bamargera made up, like, two months ago. Yeah, I actually...

Look, that's the fucking Plan B logo. You didn't guess square. Yeah, they have every letter except one. Yeah. Okay, so today we have... We have a list. Top ten things. Humans do that aliens would find most weird. Do I look like a...

Like, if they did men and black one today, maybe I would be the roach? You look like the alien android thing from near Atomeda. you look like the, like... Oh, 2B? No. Yeah. No, you look like the villains. I look like 2B.

Where are they called? I forget their name. Someone will... I don't look like 2B. 2B. Here's my thing, bitch. Put some pants on it. You need to be way more goth

if you're going to look like 2B. You look like the, you look like the Android things. I got a fucking briefcase full of goth shit in my bedroom, buddy. Test me. You're not wearing it. You don't look like 2B. Yeah, it's over there. Plus, if you were 2B, I'd be able to move my vision to look up your ass right now.

And your ass is firmly on the... the chair. That's a really good point. Yeah. What is this? 2B? I'm thinking if...

They made like the most sexual video game character of all time. Yeah, literally the most... Yeah. She's just wearing a thog and that's it. Yep.

Yeah. And that camera goes everywhere. I was thinking about the gorilla's character. Oh. Oh, no. 2D? 2D.

She should be wearing... See, 2B is 2D's Wario. Damn. Hey, get rid of this thog. I'd like to see most of these women wearing a thawd.

Mm-hmm. The hornus of death. The hornus I forget about the hornets of death. What's the hornet of death? The thing that Viper was wearing? Oh, my God. When Viper was wearing a...

Like a corset, just tightening it so hard that he, like, couldn't breathe. He had nightmares in the world. I'm, like, ascending, and he just kept making it tighter and putting more on, and he called it the hornus of death. Yeah, the thawed. The thawd. Damn. The hornet of death.

So cool, dude. That was so sick. The horace of death. Number one. That's the thing that humans do That aliens would find most weird I never really thought about it before But applauding is actually really weird

Why do we smack our palms together to show appreciation? Ah, whatever Whatever It's got to be because of the apes, right? Monkeys clap at magic tricks Yeah, monkeys do clap That's a good point But they also go who

Which I don't do Yeah, you do Name one time I've ever done that You just did that right now I'm going to take the wig off I go woo What? I go woo!

What's something cool happens in the Marvel movie? No, you don't even watch Marvel movies. No, I clap. Marvel movies? Okay, Marvel movies are cultural slurry. Anybody else? Yep. Anybody else?

I disagree. It's a baby entertainment. Anybody else? I disagree. Anybody else? I think it's the greatest movies of it. Except half a star out of a hundred. Anybody else agree?

I think they're the greatest movies. The compositions are flat. The CGI. Ugh. Anybody else? If you don't like Eternals, analyze that. I like to call it Eternals,

because it's so bad. There's a turtle in the movie. There's a big turtle at the end of the movie. Sorry for the spoilers. Ugh. Why not just call the movie It turtles if it's going to have a turtle in? This movie is so idiotic

that I don't even know where to begin. And yes, Kumail rides the turtle. Yeah, okay, he's got a turtle as a steed. Yeah, this is going to be called a turtles. Fucking stupid movie. It's just like, it's, that movie, immature, juvenile, childish. They tried to mature the formula with Oscar bait, but ultimately, it was just so

Dreck. The Avengers, they should have called it the Cringers, the way that I, accranged. I winced. The Hulk turned green? My God. I've read the comics. He's not green, asshole. And that disgusting fucking junkie wastoid...

Go on? Playing that one character. Robert Downey Jr. Yes. Yeah. Oh, well, I do agree with you on that. His dad made him smoke weed when he was six. He's subhuman fuckish.

Oh, my God. He needs a life support suit to even be on set. Yep. Looks like a robot. That thing probably probably, probably. fucking takes his pee out of his penis and puts it back into his mouth. They're feeding him.

He fools him to think he's drinking booze. They're feeding him oxygen like he's Frank Booth and he's acting like Frank Booth. He breathed in Oxycontin. I heard he tried to drug out of a piece of shit. I tried to smoke the Tesseract on set. Yeah. I already smoked cigarettes on set.

How disgusting. I heard that too. Have some class. That he endangered his fellow cast members. It's true. By creating a portal to Thanos. Yep. He went on SNL because he thought it meant

Suboxin Narcotics And Lino cane Like those And laxatives That's how much The drug addict is

Is that he'll take a laxative Because he just Because he's a pill Yep Fucking pillhead Piece of shit Yep And another thing

Paris Hilton Newsflash You're a whore Okay You dress like a complete Slutzo And you And you

wear some underwear when you get out of the limo you fucking horso-bozo sluddo piece of crap yeah and and Lindsay Lohan Linsie Lohan Get your shit together

sister that's right I loved you in the Disney originals such as Freaky Friday but I don't want to see your damn snatch on my on my and you know who else you're doing fine

you know who else Taylor Swift you stop hoaring it up in movies like the Lorax Okay You're rearranging the chemistry in my brain You are a slut To get a big

Bouncing Boner When I read Dr. Seuss books Dude it's so sick that For like Perez Hilton's like whole thing For like years It was just like drawing on like pictures Of Britney Spears being like

Die slut! Yeah it's cool He was right She should have died I wish they used spears on her Yeah And here's the other thing Hey Perez Hilton

How about me and you Go to the Hilton And I show you my present Whoa That's a bit of a wordplay Situation And another He looks like shit

Who's a starlet Who's a starlet from 2008 Caleb Pitts Hey Calvin Pitz Stop wearing that damn wig You look like The most sexual girl

Who ever lived You piece of shit You look like Paris Hilton And Nicole Ritchie and it's basically Mary Magdalene

And Jojo Siwa No That's a kid Don't like she's a kid That's a kid She's like your age No she's not Swear to God she is

Look it up Ugh I don't want to No I don't want to look up On camera's computer Look up Jojo Siwa age right now

Do not do that No And here's another thing Yeah And Scarlet Johansson why don't you go get lobotomized so I don't have to hear you talk in the movies I can just look at you

That's right How about you get complete Why don't they put your brain Into a thousand robot body So there's more of you for being movies Because I love you so much How about instead of brains It's just one boob

How about you stop starring in the head And then the arms are boobs And the legs are boobs And the feet are bare the same What if we turn Jennifer Lopez If you're going to be such a horror We might as well turn you into a boob monster you fucking stupid bitch right if you're going to be out there showing pit bull your asshole on

you got a music video i might as well have a boob version of you in my house salma hyac why don't you stop slutting it up on tv and finally adopt me that's right salma hyac salmahick you are disrespecting free to collo by being a hoarish bitch okay you need to settle down and happy as your child Stop posting these pictures on Instagram and make me an instant dinner. I'm hungry. Oh my God. I need an instant gram of dinner.

I have a small appetite. One gram. Chicken. One gram. One gram. Mashed potatoes. One gram of peas. And one gram of gravy.

And that's all I need. And then you need to take me to work. Because I'm an adult child. And I go to work. And get off a TikTok. It make me a ham hop. you fucking bitch. Somebody

just imagining somebody who's like how did you stop posting on Twitter and make me the make me awesome dinner that's right people celebrity

sluts would say they need to become their mom you need to be my wholesome mother like like 2008 tabloid guy like his only gripe

is that they're not his mom yeah you are showing way too much skin you need to tuck me in Britney spirit You're saying about toxic. Listen, mom, I got sick. I can't go to school and you're staying home from work.

That's right. Gwen Stefani, no, we're not cool. I need to be tucked in. Yeah. Hella good. I need hell of food. I'm so hungry. I'm your baby.

Yep. Hey, Rihanna, stop singing Ponda replay. We got to get on the freeway. I'm late for soccer practice. Hey, Justin Bieber's wife You're clinging to Justin Bieber Meanwhile, I got a fever And I'm sick

And I'm sick and you're sick You made me chicken noodle soup Yep I need a rectal thermometer I don't like it in my mouth I would do anything I hate the taste Rectally thermomated by a

Rectally thermominated Thermominated by a starlet It would be incredible Hey, Carman, Electra, how about You go to the car, man, and they get electric. Yep. You gotta save the environment, Mom. Hey, Caleb, you're so obsessed with Starlets.

Meanwhile, I got Scarlet fever. I'm very ill. I'm praying for you. Does anybody care how ill I am? Does anyone care if I would die here? Would you care if I died? Number two. Walk a pet dog.

Walk a pet dog. Yeah. They'd probably walk a pet dog. blorbazoid and they would just tell them oh no it's like a blurbizoid you walk it and they go oh yeah okay

did you have to teach him out of pee on newspaper yeah yeah it sucks yeah yeah when I blurbored I have to I go through like six holograms a week with my blurbizoid yeah he won't stop peeing on his whole holograms

damn yeah and then and they're like oh and let me guess when he the newspaper you put down the daily meteoroid right yes yes yes we all hate that galaxy wide we hate the Daily Meteoroid. That is a rag.

I don't know if it's happened yet, but there is a meteoroid that is supposed to hit today. I read it in the Daily Meteoroid. That's really bad news. Did it say what planet? Earth. But I just got this hair. I know.

It's like the worst news ever. And you know what? The worst part is. Imagine that my hair grew back. Oh, that's the worst part. He's pointing at me when he said, do you know what the worst part? What is it?

Cameron's the worst part? It can go through walls. It can go through walls? The meteoroid? Directly? that sucks what if I'm saving them on the second story right

don't tell me it's going to be a direct hit what okay what if I wear anti-meteroid gear I think you wear a cone a cone like a dog I can do that

you could probably do you have a spare cone yeah I mean get a cone dog yeah I can go for a cone dog I go for a cone dog this very instant I can either be Coney Island dog or More corn dog, your pick.

I got, I got cone dogs in the freezer at home. State fair, have sex. Yeah, and... It's shaped like, there's one comment here. It's shaped like a what now? That is true. Depend on the alien civilization. That is true.

Yeah, I mean, if they have, you know, if they got a, you know, their own kind of Susset Gray character, Sasha Green, the alien porn star, you know, I feel like they'll understand. Well, there are also gray aliens. She needs to be my mom. Maybe she is an alien. Sasha Green needs to take care of me. Sasha Gray, I think I would pop out of that thing just fine, and I need you to be my mom.

I think I would fly out of your huge hole, Sasha Gray. You're going on Entourage. Mm-hmm. I need a mom massage. I need a mom menage. That's so great. Mom massage. It's so gross.

That's nasty. I'm talking about wholesome mom stuff. Remember one of your kids to get a mom massage? Good, dude. Number four is dance. No, dude. Have you seen the fucking Eiffel 65 music video? I would say dancing is like probably the universal language too.

Yeah, definitely. Dude, they go, that, those blues, we sit. They go da-a-de-d-dab-a-da. I mean, one of these. Yeah. They do that. We do one of this. We do one of this.

We do the cup of shuffle in that little disc. Then the blue aliens and the on blue video are going. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good dance. Yeah. I think aliens might whip and Ney, too. Because they got spaceships. They must call them whips.

Yeah. That's them practicing hitting. They have to call them whip. That's them practicing hitting the lever for hyperspace. Yep. And the Ney-N-N-N-N-N-Race. That's they say N-N-N-N-N-N-N-A-N-N. That's right.

They say, they go like that. They go like, no-n-n-n-n-n-n-eat. Yep. I would have... N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-E. And they have the lasso dance Because that's how they abduct people When you swing the lasso around a girl

That you'd love to pull True Just like Cotton Night Joe Oh my God They have to have Cotton Eye Joe On their planet I fucking hope they have Cotton Eye Joe Jesus Christ

Oh my God It's a whole planet A Cotton Eye Joe They probably have technology ID Joe Unobtainium I Joe They probably say They probably say I know exactly where you came from

And I know exactly where The trajectory of where you're going to go They're looking from an observation They're looking from an observation deck on a spaceship Looking at Earth's like should we make contact yet No, they're still too primitive They're still on cotton-eyed Joe They probably have three-eyed Joe

They probably do Number five, watch TV Yeah A group of humans watching a group of humans in a box Aliens would not have TV That's a human Purely human No, it's weird the only people who could have been the human impulse to watch TV.

Humans are the only people in the galaxy watch TV. I have that a good authority from the Federation. Yeah. Are you in touch with the Federation often? I knew he was a gray. I knew you were in gray. I'm not a gray. I'm just an excited ambassador between our two cultures.

Do I look like a gray in this wig? You look more like a... I knew he got probed for sure. Perhaps one of the lore forms of a reptoid. Do you really think I have a rep... I'm exhibiting reptoid stuff? Well, you ain't no Anunnaki. No.

I could be Nocky. You know what you... You're a fucking... Oh, what are they called? I'm gonna change one into Anu-Ni-Ni-Kish. You literally, there is a type of alien that you look like, a Pleiadian, I think. Let me pull this up. You look exactly like a pleading.

Let me, let me think of this name. Next time we record with Matt, I'm going to wear this wig and not acknowledge it at all. Check this out. See if I can bring out. That green guy from Star Wars. Oh, wow, yeah. You literally are a Pileadian. Yeah.

They're like the, yeah, look. Look at that. That's you, dude. It's not Yarl-Poof. You don't look like Yarl Poof right now. No. 6. Speak different languages. Dude.

Sephir Opo-Rensis. You're a Sepharov. And Sephiroth. Can you guys? Shit. Just stop talking about my beauty for one moment. No, it's really hard when you're playing with your hair like that. I'm not thumping.

If Alien. Civilization is developed with ours. We'll probably have a lot more in common with them than we think. My thumping thing. Number seven, believe in God. This is probably the most weird thing they could think. Aliens all have the exact same religions that we do. Yeah.

Well, they only have Christianity. No, they all have the same ones. No, they're far enough in a civilization. They eliminated every other religion. So it's just a true one. Yeah. It's exactly the same everywhere. I don't think so.

It's true. Trust me. I got an info pamphlet on it when I was in the Federation office. Do you have it with you? Yeah, let me pull it out. Wow. He actually does have the pamphlet. Here, I'll read it out to you.

Voted Best Family Magic Show. Oh, Ron's like, Ron pamphlet. Hold up. Here, you have another one. I have another one, yeah. Have you ever fed a giraffe? Have you ever smelled their grassy breath? These are memories that will last.

I think it's in the inside part. Panfoot. No, the federation does like... That's a giraffe sanctuary. No, here it is. Yeah, that's giraffe ranch in Tampa. Premium giraffe encounter are most exclusive excursion

only for people who really love giraffe. I think that might... Four guest maximum. So that means there are four religions maximum. I think that might be a giraffe thing. What? I think that might be for a giraffe park. Yeah, for giraffeia, the giraffe planet.

I don't think there is a giraffe planet. I don't think you're part of the federation. I was shutting it off. You weren't doing anything. thing. You were pretending. Number eight. Use eating, you say eating utensils. You say eating utensils. They're probably

wondering why we look like we're trying to kill our food when it's already dead. That's true as hell. Damn, I never thought of it that way. You know what's funny as hell though? A spork. Oh, hell no. That shit's random to me. Nah, a spork eating cheese. Now, check this out. Check this out. A spife. What's a spife? Pie. Sorry. Sorry, I get distracted just now.

What about a nork or a noon? Well, a spife and a noon. What about a nop stick? Hmm. A spop stick. Yeah. A spork stick. That could be good.

What about? What about spongs? Oh. Spongs could be really useful. What about a fong? A knife chila. What? He's got a knife chila.

It's a sharp-ass spatula. Oh, okay. What about a spaschina? gun. Oh. That could be really good. It's a machine gun and a spoon. What about a FV?

Whoa. A fort and a TV. What about a, what about a plate? A what? A TV plate. I wait, I have the perfect one. A spevery thing. Whoa.

Wow. That's making me thirsty for a nevridge right now. What's a nevridge? It's a beverage with knives in it. Oh, okay. Really sharp and hard to drink, but I love it. Tricking out of my nup. But I'm addicted to.

it because it has fortitine. Yeah, can I get a nup? A nup of Spotter. Number nine, listen to music. Okay, again, like... Aliens have hip-hop. Aliens listen to Skrillex, okay? Scary monsters and freaky aliens.

Again, they listen to this... They call it, I mean, they call it normal things and nice spreads. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Normal things and... And other normal things. And normal things. And Scrillx is alien language for John. Yeah, so he's completely normal in space.

Yeah. As soon as you reach his space is normal. That's like the alphabet to them. That's like the normalist song. Yeah. You know that Polish joke where it's like the eye doctor says the, it's like all the letters and it says, oh, I know the guy that's what they think about when they see scrylix. Mm-hmm. They know scrylix.

That caveman. It's like, eye doctor. And he's like, eye doctor, you know? Yeah, that's pretty good. And the eye chart just has like a, what does it have on it? A picture of an antelope. Yeah. And the guy looks to cover his eye and looks at it goes, Spear.

And they go, oh, my friend, we need to kill you. Oh, we are going to have to put rocks on your face. Spear? They haven't invented spoon beer. We are going to have to replace your eyes with rocks. We will be eating you, my friend. Well, I'm going to prescribe a barbecue sauce all of your body and to hang in front of a fire pit for three to four hours because we're going to, a village is going to have to eat you, buddy. you're in no condition

to hunt for mud you're going to have to be our food yep we're the mud eaters we're unless somebody has bad vision then we're the you eaters I'm sure we're going to have very successful descendants from thousands of years from now

we will not be a forgotten tribe of cavemen that died out immediately because we only ate mud and guys who thought antelope was spear yeah listen a bird told me mud is the best thing you have person can eat okay so we're doing it mud is so much easier to domesticate than like a deer or a dog yeah yeah we got into the we got into the neolithic age like thousands and thousands of years

before other people because because we mud stays inside the fence is easy yeah also make your mud into any animal make your mud work for you yeah you know what I mean if you need to put something in it it's gonna stay it's mud you know we don't need fire wheel no you don't even do all these things you put mud on your damn body that's right also you make a mud fire also you make a mud fire it's not very hot but it works you can instead of a wheel when you just slide through the mud everywhere it's twice as fast as a wheel yeah of course we'll make a mud fire what else are we gonna burn rocks yeah that's right those don't burn can't burn a rock what are you stupid of course the mud fire that's what you use for fire fucking dumbass number 10 drive they fly though

yeah so they might say like i think your spaceship's broken yeah it's rolling on the ground Spaceship is a lowrider. Yeah. They might think we're all swaggy. They would think we're swagged. Yeah, because we have a low rider spaceships. Yeah. Number 11, take a selfie.

We must be some ugly-ass aliens. Right. Right. Right. Right. I'm looking good and I want to take a selfie of myself. Right. It's like, I just need to make sure I look like myself.

I mean, what the heck? I love taking selfies, by the way. Selfies fun. I just love sitting there taking selfies. Do you delete them or leave them on your camera roll? I leave them on whoever's phone it is that I'm taking the photos. Yeah. Yeah.

Sometimes I take a selfie in a selfie and I'm, immediately delete it just to see what's up doctor's phone just to see if it works just to see what's going on i like sometimes i'll be sitting down on my couch and it's like one i am and i'm like watching tv i'm like i bet i look really tired right now i want to see how tired i look i take a selfie i'm like why did i do that i don't need this on my phone it is kind of funny looking it is kind of funny to be like sitting down sometimes you'll be like i'm going to take a photo myself without moving my face at all or like yeah no i love doing that yeah just to see how fucked up it's always horrible it's always really bad it's so funny you're just sitting there

there. Yeah. One time I... I checked my bald spot once. That's never a good move. No, it's never good. Check my bald spot in the mirror and then, like, saw my face in the mirror

looking at the phone. I was like, whoa. One of the best parts is like... That is a man at his lowest. If you're trying to take a picture of like the back of your head or something, and you like, you take like three and they're all completely miss.

And you just like take a, like, a blurry picture of like the chair on the outside of the room. I always keep those. Those are nice. That is good. Those are good. photo to have in your camera roll. Yeah.

Yeah. Let's see. Let's finish out this list. What do we got here? We don't have to finish it out. We got cry. Call aliens, aliens. True.

That's actually the smartest one. Swim. Prey? Kiss. They kiss. They can do way more than kids. Masterbate. Whoa.

Masterbate. Use money. Knock. Have a gun fight. Have a gun fight. Use computers. Get high. Facts.

Nah. Take me to your dealer, son. That's what they be saying. One shot and they'll understand. Yep. Uh-huh. One shot. One shot.

Stop doing heroin? One shot of high. Shop, get arrested, murder. I think they would understand murder. Work so much. Watch porn. Work so much. They wonder why humans like to watch other humans reproduce.

Sounds strange if you put it like that. It's simply a scientific. Let's go all the way to the end. They don't use a toilet? These aliens are nasty as hell. Laugh. Engage in war. Laugh is the middle finger.

Floss? Again, dancing, universal language. Mm-hmm. All right. Bye everybody. Bye. Thank you.