Podcast About List - Ep. 182 - Jyler

Episode Date: February 16, 2022

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Come in, come in, come in. Let me see your butt. All right. All right. You're a crap monster. All right. Blue-ass man, little smurf motherfucker. I'm not a blue-ass motherfucker.

Now everybody missed my Joe Rogan intro because we need to restart. Yeah. Okay. He's got a blue head on his. Dude, he's a blueberry. He's a blueberry. He's a blueberry. He's a little night.

Violet Beauregard. All day. Blueberry ass, little bitch. Oh, you think I'm a blueberry. Oh, he's a blueberry. You think I'm a blueberry now. Hold on. Uh-oh.

Oh, he's got blue face paint or something. He's going to get something. He's getting a... He's getting... He says he's getting... He's getting in his blueberry costume. He's getting in his blueberry costume? He's got a big blueberry costume.

Oh, it has a blue... Well, now that he's gone right now. We can plug the show because he was trying to... We have a show on the 31st. I don't want to sell any... On the 31st of March, Dungeons and Dragons live show. Patch is going to be there. Patches is going to be there.

Patches will. will more than be there, he will be dungeon mastering the show. And... Oh, Alex Forest. Alex will be there. From Home Planet. We'll be there. It's at Union Hall.

I'll be there. At 7.30? I don't know. You can just look at... You can just look up on our website that we're making. It's called a Frogtastic Journey. It's Operation Frogtastic Voyage. And we're going to have a website soon.

Yeah, we'll see. It's going to be flash games on the website. I do want to make a website and put a slot machine on it. Yeah. I want to make a slot machine. You know what I want to do is figure out how to embed the old flash games from addicting games onto it. Oh, that's a good idea. We have one section that's called, like, Game's Corner, and then we just have every game from addicting games on the website.

Doesn't flash not work anymore, though? Oh, true. Didn't they get rid of Flash? All of our fans are on XP. That's true. Yeah. I don't think... They're way behind.

Yeah. Yeah. Is it based on the browser you have, I guess? There's no way they just like pressed a button and all flash turned off. Well, they did. They did that. That's exactly what they did. I don't think they did that.

It doesn't make any sense. I don't know if it's based on the browser. I assume it's based if you didn't update your browser, you're probably still a flash. Why did they do that? I don't know. It's really stupid. There's really no reason. So much history, do you?

Yeah. The Impossible Quiz? Can you even play the impossible quiz? I think you can still play a lot of. A lot of those stuff on, like, new grounds is, like, like, I think they have, like, their own thing that, like, you can play. Like, it's, like, it runs Flash and, like, some virtual thing. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So, we get that for our website.

Yeah. So that's going to blow a big part of the budget for the stuff we want to do this here. The everything else is came in. Put that one in. The what? Remember the Etney's downhill skateboarding game? Nope. I played Bowman.

Bowman was good. How's a Bowman World Champion? Slap the monkey's gone? Slap the monkey. That was the funniest shit. I remember to tell my dad I was playing Slap the Monkey. He said, what? What the hell are you going to talk about?

Did you guys ever play with a line rider? Yeah, that one. I'm supposed to teach you. Yeah, line rider was tight. Line rider was sick. Yeah. The one where you could draw your own ones? Remember they had a promotional line writer for Hot Rod?

What's up? You say emotional line writer? Promotional. Oh, okay. I mean, I've seen an emotional line writer. There's a proposal in line writer. Yeah, there's the ones where you, where you skate the whole thing, and then it says like... I love you, Debbie.

Yeah. Diane. Yeah. And then, like, 1991 to 2007. Debbie Diane died of diabetes. Taba-daba-dab-dab-di-dab-diab-di-dibis. Yab-dab-dab-dou, Debbie Diane, died of diabetes. Mm-hmm.

Drats. Drats. Yeah. Drats. Debbie Diane died of diabetes in their, in Dallas. Derr. D-D-D-D-D-D-D-Las. You could just say, D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-A.

Those are the German thes, I think. What? Derdi Das. Those are the German thugs. Don't you know? Adi Das. No, derdi Das. The German thugs.

Those are the German thugs. Oh. German thugs. I was thinking that fellow from Rocky. Dirty Das? No, the blonde guy. Ivan Drago? Yeah.

Is he German? Nope. Okay. But he reminds me of a German thug. Dolf Lundgren has never played a German guy in his life. He's German in real life. I didn't say it. But he only plays Russians.

Yeah. Or Americans. Yep. It is cool when he plays Americans. It's cool that they got him. A scientist? I think he's an actor. No, he's also, he's got like, uh, he's got like some degree or some shit.

I'm pretty sure he's an actor in movies. In any Arnold movie, do they ever try to say that he's anything other than American? That's, that, you know who? He's from California. The best, the best guy that they do that with is, um, uh, Jean-Claude Van Damme. Oh, yeah. Or they try to make him like Cajian or, like, Canadian or something to do it. The best is Segal, because he tries to be the other things.

He's an American trying to be the other things. No, I like it when they have an accent and they try to, like, make it, they try and cast them with something on. But they also don't know how to not do their accent. Exactly. There is a block of, there's a block of Europe where if you're from, like, Spain, France, or the UK, you can do an American accent pretty believably if you're, like, a good enough actor. If you are from the eastern part of Europe, you sound mentally disabled. Or if your job is to kick and get kicked in the face 100,000 every day.

I am from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. No, I said French is good. How's Israeli? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Every time I try to do... No, Israelis got it down pat. No, no, no.

Yeah, that Wonder Woman. Yeah. That Wonder's woman. She can't do it. No, no. She can't at all. Why would Wonder Woman be from Israel? Well, there's a clear answer for that.

What is it? Press positive. Yeah. Call back. That's right. You get to 100 episodes ago. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

People are going to like that. Yep. Everything was leading up to that joke, and the show is done. But do you think, because she's supposed to be from another planet, right? Yeah, Israel's another planet. No, she's supposed to be Greek in Wonder Woman. She's a Greek goddess. Oh, no.

Well, I guess that makes sense that she has an accent then if she's Greek. You wouldn't, be kidding me? You would, it would create less confusion in my life. First hot woman ever given to... She's maybe, like, the worst actor I've ever seen in my life. She's maybe worse than, like, people... Maybe worse than, like, people who make, like, YouTube, like, short films and stuff.

Like, she's maybe one of the worst I've ever seen. Did she do something? Was she, like, an Olympic athlete before she was in her? No, she was in the beauty Olympics. Oh, my God. That's fucking disgusting. I hate the idea that beautiful women can be actresses. Yeah.

You know who's a good actress? Who? Like Kathy Bates, Merrill Streep, just busted asshole ladies. Megan Fox. You think Merrill Streep is busted? Busted as a bitch.

You're a great actress. Amazing actress. Ugly as shit, dude. So busted. Fuck. Yeah, she looks like a giant red and blue truck robot. Yeah, what the hell? Yeah, ugly as fuck.

But that cool deep voice. Oh, my God. Yeah. But Optimus. Prime in that movie is hot as fuck. Yeah. She's on another level. When she's inside of the car?

Oh, my God. When Optimus Prime goes inside Megan Fox. Mm-hmm. You know there would be that one pervy-ass transformer that turns into one of those vibrators that sucks into the clip. One of those vibrators that is a car. Yeah. The transformer that's a Sibian. But he's like, he's all the powers of a turtle.

And then they'll, like, yeah. And then they give up. There will be, you know, in the Michael Bay Transformer movies, they should, Michael Bay, you can take this idea for free. It's a transformer that transforms into a vibrator and has a really offensive Japanese accent. That's like such a gimmie. That's so obvious. That's really good.

Tenga, watch out. Now do his voice. Okay. Hello. I am from Japan. They did. He blew it. They did a Japanese.

transformer, but it was a samurai. Yeah? It transforms into a samurai robot. That doesn't make sense. What's that supposed to be? Yeah. Samarize weren't real. Samarize weren't real?

No. No. No, it's like a unicorn. A unicorn isn't like a British thing. Yeah, it is. Samurai isn't a Japanese thing. Unicorns are a British thing. Unicorns are not a British thing.

I saw one of Harry Potter. It's a British thing. They have those in the woods. It's like Stoats. You saw your hairless daughter. What? Yep. I don't know

Just keep going Let me just say stuff Okay Why is everything I said to be litigated Move on Say something Do you see a stote What?

Oh yeah I've seen a stote What's a stote? It's like a unicorn It's British It's a British unicorn Really? No it's like a British weasel Yeah it's just so it's a weasel

Whoa What does it look like Compared to an average weasel? I think it may be it's a weasel Well there's a, I think it is a weasel There's a white stote Do you guys say possum or oh possum Possum.

Possum. Yeah, we're gay. Why? It's cool to say O possum. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's cool. No, it's nerdy as fuck, dude. That's a southern thing.

Is it the... Oh, possum. No, because I thought that it was O possum until I looked it up. It is a posse. Yeah. Well, that's the full name, yeah. That's just... But if you're cool and you like slang, like me, you say Possom.

It's slang. It's slang. I think that's a north-south side. No, it's slang, like swag. I had never heard someone. and say possum until I got a way holder. I point in an opossum and say that's my slime. You don't say that's my slime, my slat.

I say slat. You do not say schlatt when you see a possum. I do. No, you don't. Yeah. I say that's my ride or die for real. Nope. I see, I see, I say he just, I said he just popped to Benny when I see a possum. A possum like once or twice.

You've only seen possum was in trouble? I've never seen one in person. You've only seen an opossum once or twice, you say? Yeah. I've seen it pretty much a million times. That's cool. Yeah, you never seen one in person. You never seen one of them?

They're really scary. Yeah, they are. They're like sharp teeth. They scream. They see you go, they like hiss like a snake. And also they love trash. I love to die. It's true.

They love to be killed by your stepdad, too. They love when your stepdad puts them in a bag and throws them into it, like the river behind your house. Jesus. Yeah. What's wrong with that? Nothing. It just happened on a friend of mine. Your friend got put in a bag?

Yeah, I'm throwing into a river by your stepdad. Whoa. Yeah. He's really strong. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, my friend Caleb. I didn't get killed by my stepdad.

Yeah, Caleb got thrown into a river by his stepdad. We did. I remember one time we had this, like, drainage ditch behind our house. It wasn't even a drainage ditch. It was like a, just like a, it must have at one point been a drainage ditch, and then they, like, stopped it up. Then there was a hurricane, and so all of a sudden there was this, like, crazy river behind her house, just filled with mud, and my mom made us play in it.

Me and my brother got really sick for two weeks. That's tight. Yeah, we definitely had some kind of worm go up our wee-wees. It was like when Stevo jumped into the... This was the most one I've ever had, though. The swamp of poop. I mean, this was like a hurricane, so it's every... You're not supposed to, like, touch that water.

No, we're at the lowest point in the entire town, and my mom is... I mean, every single dog shit that had happened in the last six months, and every dead animal was just, like, floating... His mom brought a needle outside and said, come get your dinner, boys. Yeah, she rang a big bell. She poured it into our...

I mean, we ate it up. The stew's hot. Mm-hmm. It was cold. Yeah, I know. It's another one of Mother's Tricks. She's so clever. Oh, God.

I'm sick of Mother's Tricks. And there was lightning. Yeah. Yeah, you can get electrocuted by lightning. Yeah. I've heard. Yeah. Makes your bones show up.

Yeah. Is that true? Makes you jiggle around to like Jello. I think it's a little. There should be a study where they just shock people like Marv from home alone. I think they've done that study like a million times. You ever heard of Ben Franklin? You ever heard of the Nazis?

Mm-hmm. No, what are they? You never heard of the Nazis? No. Hey, try looking in a mirror, pal. Okay. Okay, so now you're, all right. All right, I'm looking in a mirror.

Okay, do you see what's in the mirror? That's a Nazi. Well, I can see you guys, too. No, you can't. No, we're, see. I'm moving a little. little bit off to the side. Yeah, okay, now I can't see him.

Now I can't see your eyes, so you can't see me either. Okay. I can still see Cameron. Well, that's, oh, you can still see Cameron? Yeah, you can't see me. I can still see Cameron. No, I moved out of the way. He's doing something with his arm.

No, I moved out of the way. He's doing something. Was that kind of some kind of reverse milly rock? What is that? What? Doing a high milly rock? No, I'm trying to, I'm trying to put my arm around Patrick. It's my friend.

It's completely straight and at 45 degrees. You keep missing. Every single time you're... Well, you keep running away from me. You're skittish. That is on you a little bit. I'm skittish. Yeah.

What? I heard that Nazis hated the skittish people. I like that. I said that. Like, I gasped like I had a good idea before I said that. Yeah. To me, it seemed more like you gasped that you were scared of what came out of your brain. Yeah.

Yeah. You're terrified of the darkness you wrote. That was a dark thing. That was seriously dark. And it wasn't, I'm not saying that Jews are skittish. I'm saying that rhymes with Yiddish. Wait, hold on, what? Huh?

Let's cut, let's clip that. Let's clip that. I mean, that's a way better joke if you're saying the Jews are skittish that if you're trying to rhyme it with Yiddish, that's stupid. I know. Yeah, no, you had it right on accident. Maybe it was on purpose and you guys didn't know. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. There's going to be, the coffee mug's going to drop. I'm going to walk. Why are you making fun of me being all blue and you're all black? I had white shoes on. I got white socks on. It's not all black. This is a blue hat.

You're blacked up. That's a black hat. That's not a blue hat, yeah. Not on this light. You go somewhere else that might be a blue hat, but here, nope. Maybe if you went into a really blue room, that might be a pretty blue hat. Yeah. If you went onto a blue version of the sun, I could believe it.

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. I think it's okay to be all blacked. I don't know what's wrong with being all blacked up. I think it's cool. I think you shouldn't say that's...

Is it blacked up is like what British people say for blackface? Really? Yeah. Oh, well, you're... You're really blacked up for sure then. You're blacked up. They're calling me Bo Selecta. Had to tell.

I'm blueed up, but that's okay. Yeah. Cam's also blacked up. It is so funny, like, for until like 2010, every, like, the fucking... Who's that fat, bald guy in England? You. Everybody. Yeah.

That fat bald comedian. Okay, 50% of the people. No. The gay one. You, I guess. Yeah. Ah. There he goes.

Yeah. He finally lost it. Patrick. Matt. Something. Patrick Doran. Matt Lucas. From the Doran family.

His name's Patrick. Yeah. That guy, there's a really. fucking scary picture of him and like he's dressed up like a black woman. You think that's scary? But no, it's just they use prosthetics. They use prosthetics.

They use prosthetics and it looks insane. It's like very uncanny valley. Oh, I'm sure that's what scares you. Yeah. No, I'm not scared of that anymore. You're something else. We're all something else today.

Yeah, I know. We're all behaving a little differently. It's the day after Valentine's Day. We all got that Valentine's Day hangover. Oh, yeah. You know what it is. I'm so drained of cum that my white blood cells went down. Oh, my God.

I had so much of my girlfriend's chocolate that I bought her yesterday. All of it. I had corned beef hash yesterday. that's not that's unrelated but i did shape it in a heart i ate two cheese burgers for dinner that was your valentine's day dinner you made janet watch you eat two hamburgers they were cheeseburger jana what's how fast thing i eat these oh oh i didn't even i didn't even finish the second one

I got so upset stomach. Did you go to, like, a restaurant, or did you make burgers at home? Made burgers at home. Made some smash burgers. Did you make two cheeseburgers? Yeah. I don't like you berating me for my food decisions. Yeah, why not?

Because of what I've seen you do in this world. That's true. But, yeah, I did eat two cheeseburgers, and then I was too, and then I was too asleep to do anything else. Yeah. I got knocked out by the red meat. I did drink cold brew last night, so I could. hang out still that was a crazy move on my part i drank cold brew concentrate because i was like you need to get into normal coffee i don't know why i don't know why you thought i'm gonna stop

drinking bosternity and said i'm gonna drink like the poison version of coffee because you just i would say it's a little better than no you put you it's definitely better than monster but it's you put a shot you put a shot of the cold brew in and then you you you yeah okay mix it with water yeah i do no you you don't do that well why'd you just lie then and you said you were drinking up just the concentrate straight didn't say that. That's you, oh, I run it back. You might not do that all the time, but everyone's, like, I feel like once every, like, three

days that I talk to you, you're like, yeah, I drank way too. I had, like, half cold brew concentrate, half water this morning. Yeah, sometimes I don't cut it right. Yeah. Just drink normal coffee. He doesn't like normal coffee. No. You like the shit with the iguana on it.

Yeah, the chameleon, cold brew. You like that damn iguanor coffee. Dude, the guaner? Yeah. He's good. That shit will make your doo-do change color. Oh, it did. Oh, yeah.

Before I got used to it, you know, like, when you first start drinking coffee and, like, your shits are just horrible. Oh, yeah. Your eyes start bugging other, you know, different directions. Oh, yeah. A dude-do that brings into a porcelain. Big shout out to the chameleon coffee. Big shout dot. It's so, it's, it's, uh, they got that cinnamon vanilla one.

Mm. You mix that with water, it's not that good, but if you mix it with, like, milk. Do you guys, oat milk? Do you guys think we get sponsored by Folgers? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I would love to get sponsored by Fonels by Cafe Bustello.

We're going to do that. that Folgers incest commercial I feel like Cafe Bistello It's like the worst coffee in the world I drink it all the time It's dirt cheap And I do feel like one of these days I'm gonna open it up

And there's gonna be like a hidden brick Of cocaine in it That fell off of the thing That's the whole reason That coffee fucking exists I don't want to buy anything other than like Folgers or Bistello Because I don't want to like find out

That I like good coffee And have to buy it Yeah Dude it's not good The highest The highest shelf coffee I'll get Sometimes when I'm at Dunkin I'll grab a bag I'll grab a bag of...

Yeah, sometimes some Dunkin Coffee I'll have you. I'm like, I like Dunkin Coffee. Yeah, there's no way you can trick me into getting something that has flavor notes. No. Not having it. Either Joe or Alex or one of the, or Neil, one of my fucking, one of my crazy roommates

buys that a Café Dumond. What's that? Oh, that's the one with the chicory root in it? Yeah, like stuff with flavor in it. I drank it. Couldn't be me. I drank, I made a pot one time for like everyone in the apartment with that and I drank it

and I was so afraid after drinking it. I bought one 10 and it sent my butt cheeks to Neptune. It was really really bad. I think I think training yourself to like really shitty foods and drinks that are really cheap is like the closest thing you can be

to being a like a Buddhist monk without being one. I think it's a really important thing to do in your life. I didn't do all that other stupid shit yeah exactly. Yeah living at what a castle and a don't even get me started on monks. I would hate living in the beautiful mountains. Yeah, you have to shave your head.

Yeah, and I have to, what, I have to get my balls hit with a hammer every day or something with a block of concrete. That's what monks have to do. And then one day, Bruce Wayne shows up, we got to turn him into Batman. Great. Plus, I can't get no damn pussy.

Yeah, no damn pussy on the mountain. Yes, sir. Yep. What I got to do, fuck some leaves. The Yeti. That's what the Yeti's for. That's why they keep the Yeti all chained up. You and they keep the Yeti.

They just take turns fucking out of their Yeti. You can't go in this room. This is the most sacred room in the monastery. Very, very sacred. We have a sacred statue in there. There's a serious sacred thing in there. And we have Bluetooth speakers in there. Yeah.

Oh, we left our Halloween. Somebody's meditating so hard that their stomach is growling because we haven't eaten in years. No. Somebody's watching a movie on their iPhone in there. I don't know what that is. I got to go in. I got to go in and stop them. They're not allowed to watch movies.

Yeah. Oh, hey, hey, stop watching that movie. Stop watching the wampus scene. Oh, stop watching the movie. Everybody's joining in, fucking the Yeti. I would love to see the Yetty get gang banged. It's what he deserves for the havoc he's wreaked on our world. Oh, my God.

He's eaten so many plane wrecked. Don't get me started on that damn Yeti. Yeah, and you know he's actually Kane. Yeah. Kane and Abel. That's Bigfoot. No, I think he's able. That's Bigfoot.

I think any of those. He's able. That's why he got one on. No, the Yeti's not able. The Yeti ain't able, bro. Don't be stupid. Don't be crazy. He's able. He's able to get fucked by me. Bro. The Yeti is cane and a can of a cane. Bigfoot is a cane. Bigfoot is a different thing. No.

Bigfoot's cane. The Yetty's just an ape monster. There's nothing supernatural going on there. There's no real. Yeah. Bigfoot is actually a biblical guy's been around from 8,000 years. That's just a big cold monkey. That's just a monkey with an ice power. Yeah. There's people with.

ice powers in the world. Yeah. They were in the Bible, but they cut those pages out. Yeah. They got those pages out because they were too scary. Yeah. Have you ever read the Apophrica, the Sky High chapter? Dude, I love the apocryphal text.

I don't know how to pronounce it either. Apocryphal. Yeah, see apocrypha. No. They are very sad. They have that one where they're like, like Jesus was actually, he was gay. Yeah. That one's cool.

I love the, I love the ones. where they're like, they cut it out because it was like too scary. Like, they have the shit with like the Nephilim and stuff. And it's like, back in the old days, there were 300 foot tall giants that ate everybody and fucked angels all the time. And they're like, yeah, we can't, we can't have this in our book. Yeah. This is not.

It's like editing a movie for an airplane. Yeah, exactly. We can't. And also, by the way. We can't have a kid in the back row like see this on somebody's screen. Yeah, exactly. And angels were a, and angels were also a big, the, the never saw. eyeball.

That's what an angel looked like. Yeah, the angel. And it's also good. There are also ones where it'll be like, it's just about a guy who's like, yeah, I saw the end of the world

and here's exactly how it happened and all this stuff. And it's like, well, that stayed in. So not all of it though. But a lot of it in Revelation. And it's pretty cool, man. It is pretty cool. But there's other stuff where it's like,

like I forget, there's a guy who's name begins with a Z. And there's one. Zorgon. It's Zorgon. It's Zorgon, yeah. Zorgon, the terrormentter. It's just like, he's like,

Like he's a tormentor and a terrorist. And he and he fucked God's butt. Shut up. He fucked up. He doesn't exist. And he flipped off Jesus too. And you don't even want to know what he did to Abraham. What do you do to Abraham Lincoln?

Both. She. Mm-hmm. He did. He shot Abe Lincoln. Yeah. People forget about that. He possessed John Wilkes Booth.

They should do that. That needs to be a Transformers thing. Zorgon. Is it an apartment? No, we're done with Zorgon the Terramanter. I don't know. An apocryphal text. He's six feet tall.

Like the hit the dead seas crawls. And he's six feet in the worst part. He's six feet tall. That is what happened in the Bible. Yeah. And verily a giant strode into town. He was five feet 11 inches. That's so cool.

He towered over the villagers and he... Zorgon the Territory. He picked up their crops and he said, you can't get this. You can't get this. You shall not get this. That's why if you say nananana-n-n-a-boo-boo-boo, you acquire the mark of the beast

and you go to hell immediately. They should do Transformers with the Dead Sea Scrolls where it reveals that the Transformers were in the Bible. I hope that's the next one. They did that with a bayblade. Oh, really? Yeah. Moses parted the Red Sea with a Bayblade or something.

Oh, I remember that. Damn. That's so sick. Yeah, that is sick. Basically what Yu-Gi-O is, too. Yeah. Yeah, but Yu-Gio's like Egyptian, right? Yeah, but it's got the old white in that show. Yeah, of course.

It's Japanese show. Yeah, it's true. It's anime. It's white and anime. Well, it's just funny. Except for Bo-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B. Yeah, it's true. Yeah.

But aren't there, all the characters? Aren't the Yu-Gios all Egyptians? Well, it's about, no, they're all Japanese. They're all white Japanese. You want me to, you expect me to believe there's a... But they have Egyptian ancestors. Uh, do you expect me to believe there's a Japanese Egyptian guy named Joey Wheeler? No, he's from Brooklyn.

Oh. I don't think he's from, I think he's from Brooklyn. You expect me to believe there's a Japanese guy named Yu-Gi-Oh? Nope. No chance. Nope. Most of them, Steve, that's a pretty popular Japanese name. Steve Japanese.

Mm-hmm. That's his name. Yep, that's his name. That's most, that's the, most of the names in Japan. Yeah, Tom is also a pretty Japanese name in my brain. Mm-hmm. Tom Stevens. Is Japanese like, is that like Chinese where when you come to America,

you get some brand new fucking name? I don't know. Where you go? That's fucked up. You show up and you're like, I'm Fred. It's cool. I would love to be able to pick a new name that's like a cartoon character, something from the country that I'm going to.

Yeah, but that's only if you pick that, like, I don't know. Like, it's like sometimes you just get what the name translates to. Sometimes. Well, yeah, sometimes you just get with the name. A kid at my high school. or like what it sounds like. There's a kid in my high school his name was Hercules.

See, that's sick. Again, a cartoon character. Yeah. Every, every, every... White Americans really got the worst names, man. Yeah. Caleb. Cameron.

Like, we just... All that shit is just like... We've just been in this stupid country too long. We just have the most fucked up stupid names that have just been passed on. That shit sucks. But then, but then, like, people start to make up their, like, like, it's played out now.

It's played out to make fun of it now. but like K-L-L-I-L-I-G-H-N and like... Is that Irish? No, like K-A-Y-L-I-G-H-N or like T-L-H-N? Well, Traley's... Wait, K-A-Y-L-G-H-N. Yeah, you have to... What? That's not a name.

Or, like, Giler. You picked, like, maybe the worst, the worst example. Tramila. Kaylin, I've seen spelled like that before. You've never seen it G-N-H at the end. Or G-H-N. I think I might have been being dyslexic, but yes. Yeah.

Okay. So you saw, you saw Kayla. No. And then you added a bunch of letters to them. Yeah, I think the best, I think the best made of names are where they just take Tyler and put a different consonant instead of T. Kyler. Kyler.

I heard in, I think I said it before, but I should just do all of them. I was in a Walmart, and a mom was yelling at her son. She went, Jailer, come here! I was like, Jiler. I'd run away to. Were you like that? My mom named me that shit. What?

You were like that? You were like, Jiler? Hmm. It was so confusing, dude. Why are you falling around this family in fucking Walmart? I was, I was playing the Switch. You heard him to the Switch demo? I bet.

Is it imagine he's standing at the store and just going, Giler? What an odd name. Very curious. That's the name most peculiar. Take out a big note book. Let me ask you. When did you come up with this name?

Jiler. Jiler. Just walk her in the story. Following her around this door. Jiler. Jiler. Where have I heard that name before? Jiler. Jiler.

Oh, from that kid over there. Oh, his name's Jiler. Excuse me, ma'am. Is your son named Giler? I always like... Can I take something out of your cart? When people name their kids, like, uh, crystal. That's always funny.

And it's spelled with a K, like the, like the sexual fox from Star Fox. I mean, that's, that's better than diarrhea. I mean, that's a bad man. Brady Lynn for a girl. What? Brady Lynn's cool. I like any two, any, dude, any two word name for a girl, that's hot. it's because you're from the south oh yeah definitely dude that's because you're from the south

dude yeah you probably knew like a fucking like amy i need to oh amy lees are hot dude yeah probably the hottest name for a girl for me probably would be sexotron sadie sexotron yeah yeah that'd be hot sexotron sexotron yeah yeah yeah something lynn is hot yeah yeah yeah if a girl's name is billy something that that's that's hot dude if a girl if a girl has like an old lady old old lady cowboy name yeah like I'm sign me up

Sliz Tronica Sliz Tronica mega cooch That's hot Yeah that's really hot Muriel stinky fat one Yep Yeah Boobstastic

Boob's pussy That's a hot name With a dash in between Oh my God God I'm gonna come All right, let's do this list here. This is top ten things to buy with $100. If you had to blow $100, what would be the best thing to buy with it?

If I had to blow $100, blow it in my nose. Yeah. I'm so hood-rich. Would you blow $100? Would you blow $1 million? Yes. Damn. Okay.

You gay. If you say so. Don't care. Still made money, though. DJ academics is about to have a field day with that stuff. He said he would blow a million dollars. One of those... Sound off in the comments.

One of those, like... It's like a picture of me and then like the black gradient and then like the font says like, he would blow $100. Yeah. I saw a video, or I found out today

there was this rapper 42 Doug and he, uh, he was like... He was like a guy and then he, and everybody loved him and he was making tons of money and stuff. This was like last year. And then he made a song where he was like,

he was like, I used to suck dick for money because I was homeless. and he got, like, dropped from his label. Everybody stopped, like, making music with him. And now he's just, like, not doing shit. Because he just said that he used to be, he used to be so desperate for money who would suck dick in his song.

Damn. Which is, like, I want the, on one hand, it's, like, that's funny. That's, like, that's fucked up to everybody kind of abandon him. But other, also, like, why would you, why would you scrap about that? You go to the grave with that.

Every other fucking song this guy's made is about how cool his car is. And then all of a sudden, he's like, plus I used to suck dick And I'm fucking, I'm gay. Definitely he thought he thought he could sneak that in. He would have been fine before Rap Genius. Exactly.

And then I went back and listened to one of his other songs. He's like big hit. And like every single line is about how much he like doesn't like women and like doesn't want to fuck women. That's cool. Number one is clothes. Patrick, take it away? No. No.

I don't know. I don't think I've ever spent a lot of money on clothes. Really? Really? You don't think so? No, I'm not the type to do that. I'm really not the type to do that. How much are these pants? These are actually 20 months.

Why must people always think about their appearance to others or to themselves? It's a strange world we live in. I am actually wearing my least expensive shit. Yeah, you look like dog shit. You look terrible. It's something I wear all the time. I know, I got to get back on my shit. Yeah.

I would buy more nylons, heels, bras, and the such. I love to wear them. all the time. They totally turn me on. Sound clip. Clip that. Cameron said that. Cameron is wearing

ladies underwear under his shirt. No, I'm not. He's wearing a bra. No, I'm not. Cameron's wearing a... I see... Oh, my God. That is one of the most beautiful, intricate lace things I've ever seen.

You're looking in the mirror again, pal. No, I'm not. Yeah, you're literally are. What are you doing with your hand? Jacking off to your bra? I'm jacking up to Cameron's bra. Whenever guys like underwear and, like, smell it and jack off to it. That's really funny to me.

I think that's worse. That's worse than like wanting to eat a woman. Okay. I don't think that's... And wanting to eat a woman, it's actually pretty normal now that I think about it. It makes sense. What? Like wanting to eat it, like, Army Hammer being like, I need to eat your arm. Like doing that. I need to eat your arm with my hammer.

No. Did he ever say what part of the body he wanted to eat? Did he say he wanted to drink blood, right? Yeah. Did he want to eat, like, people's meat? I think so. Like, did he... I think he wanted to eat kind of a hawk of the woman?

Yeah, like, yeah, like, do you think you wanted an arm or a... The broad end of the thigh? The flank. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. He wanted to eat... He wanted to eat Megan butt. Yeah.

He wanted to put Megan on the Trager. Yeah, yeah. Slow. Oh, just salt and pepper, by the way. A little mustard to bind it. Low and slow. 15 hours. wrap it two hours back in

with a little bit of barbecue imagine Bert Inns I'm not I'm not supporting anyone that uses a Trager Why Someone told me you're not supposed to Not supposed to use a Trigger

Yeah Bob said that Who's Bob? Oh Bob He said he shouldn't use a Trigger Bob hates Traders Fuck you fucking pizza mouth motherfucker Go fuck out of here Dude Triggers are sick Here's a really good comment

A genius comment Videos are Triggers Shoes are cloths right? Coats? Definitely clothes. Facts. Too bad nobody wears them. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. Have you noticed this? A lot of these women will spend extra money to have less clothes on their bodies. Have you noticed this? The Emperor is actually wearing nothing. And people told him that the clothes are... I could see the clothes, so it sounds like maybe you just

weren't cool enough to see them. No, he wasn't wearing any clothes. I mean, I could see... They said they were clothes that only cool people could see, and you didn't see them. And I did. The Emperor's Rose were not there. Yeah, I also saw them. So you sound lame as fuck. They were blue, right? And hold up.

You were looking at the Emperor while he wasn't wearing clothes. Is that what you're telling me? Yes. Okay, so guess who's getting executed? So gay and lame. Yep. And I guess you're going to get decapitated, too. With a big, very dull rock that we use right now.

Yeah. Baseball bet. Well, that's fine. You would think it's fine. Um Clothes would be great I feel like Patrick Imagine going to a concert

Performing naked Remember that lady Who peed on the guy's face That was cool That was cool That was cool What were you saying You feel like I what

I feel like I could sell you Something invisible No Yeah You couldn't sell me something invisible You could sell me something really shitty What about this? What is that?

Take it Well no Because then you're gonna make me pay for it No take it It's a dollar. A $1? $1, that's all it is. You do Venmo?

Yeah. Here, here's my code. Okay. Check it out. Oh, wow. It's pretty cool, right? It changed its shape when you put it in my hand. Yeah, well, no, it has a handle at the top, too.

Oh, well, I'm grabbing it by the little end. Yep. Oh, it is a little end? Yeah. Now, crush it. Whoa. What the fuck? That's right.

That's right. That's child pornography. It's invisible. Why'd you have it? Because I work for the police. Officer, we have found over 3 million gigabytes of invisible child pornography on this man's computer. We need to send him to jail. Yep, it's all over.

You can't see it, but everybody else can. He encrypted it just so that cops can't see it. So the cops and the government can see it, but everybody else can see it and you need to kill him right now. Look, look at how, listen to the fan on his computer. is going so fast. It's because there's no space left. Nope. There's nothing.

Number two is games. Nope. Oh, it's not by a game. Well, listen to this. This might change your mind. Jenga? Games have such engaging stories, perfect gameplay, and some of the most memorable ways to spend your time in the 21st century,

aside from being with real people, obviously. Why spend it on clothes that you will grow out of in a couple years compared to games that provide memorable experiences for decades if you get a good one? That did change my mind. Yeah. Games have good gameplay. That's true. That's the thing about games that,

Both don't have. You can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, a pair of pants. Hmm. Well, you could have you put a, a crown on it. No, it's, it's not the same. You can embroider a crown on them. That would, this is not kinging, that's embroidering a crown. Well, the fact that you're saying, embroider a crown instead of king proves it's not, it doesn't, doesn't make sense, it's not a real thing.

I wish I could justify buying a bunch of PlayStation 5 and just, like, dumping them into a volcano. Yeah. And that'd be kind of fun. It would be fun. I really want to, like, destroy some really expensive stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you imagine how mad people would get at that? Yeah.

It's so funny. Oh, it's a deal with the PS5s right now? They're like... They're like 900. They're like the next one after PS4. Yeah. Why are they 900 bucks? I think that...

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. It makes no sense to me. Why is a console like the same price as a PC? I don't know, man. You're asking the wrong guy. You should be asking Linus Tept.

Yeah. Yeah, Linus' tip tips. Hey, Linus' tip tips. Hey, Linus, do you have any tip tips for me? Linus Life tips. Linus Tip Tips has changed my life. He's seriously giving me so many tips. Yeah.

Like, Linus Tip Tips. Here's a tip for that tip. Mm-hmm. He taught me how to open a jar. Yeah. Yeah. He did, he gave me the tip tip tip that you have to slam it. The lead side first.

Throw it. Yeah. He taught his tip tip tip tip. The tip that he gave me... Is his tip tip about the jar? If you don't mind glass, you can smash. Yep. You tap the top...

Oh, he give you a tap tin. Yeah, so his tip on tap tips. Yeah. Ah, okay. Top tap tip. Top tap tip. I hate Linus's trick tips. Oh, those are nasty.

Because he gives me... Like the one about the jar when he says, if you care about glass and your food, then if you don't... You won't get glass. He's not a very good writer. No. No. Yeah, that's what's so tricky about it. And the other one to read. The other one about his jar, if you sit on it, you'll go viral in a video.

Well, that was actually a great tip because it works through. You know it would be a good recreation? Do one man one jar now, but it's a jar a peanut brittle with a prank snake flies up into your ass. Before he's sitting down. Yeah. It just shoots directly into your ass. Oh, yeah. Dude, oh, my God.

It would be good for that. The snake opens up and still goes in his ass. Yeah, just directly. I mean, just huge gaper. That would be awesome. And then he walks around with a, it's kind of like a tail. But he's kind of,

he's holding his ass like he's Mario and he just fell into lava. Yeah. Oh, blah, blah, blah, yeah.

Big shout out. Big shout out to Pierce Perez's video. And shout out to Mario. You go fast when you hot. And shout to Bowser. Got to have good and bad. Definitely not. Uh, no.

No, that's, I'm saying it. Shout out to Bowser. You're going to be apologizing for that really soon. Yeah. Comedian Patrick Doran came out today. Comedian Patrick Doran today's fired from SNL as a podcast clip emerges of him being pro-Bowser. Yeah, like the Coupa's, like, I would love to hang out with the Coupas.

Yeah, I just think what he does to the Coupas is sick. It's like cool. Yeah. Plus his son is chill. Say what you will, but like the Mushroom Kingdom has run way better with him in charge. No. All right. That's just my opinion.

No. Mm-hmm. No. No, you fucked us. You fucked all of us. We're fucking done. Comedian Patrick Doran let go from writer's room this week after an offensive clip surfaced from the past of him doing an extremely exaggerated toad accent. Okay. There's the clip. Number three, food. Nope.

Don't need it. Let's be honest here. Who doesn't like food? Food. With $100, you could get yourself a very fine steak dinner or buy a lot of nice, yummy chocolates. You really just can't go wrong with food. I'm on pretty much a steak and chocolate dinner. Did I spend $100? Would you? Would I? Would you buy $100 of chocolate and steak? I think I... Steak, yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't even like steak. Okay, just chocolate. I would buy a $100 steak. Would you buy a chocolate steak? Would you buy a $100 chocolate? I was just about to say steak with like a

chocolate sauce. That sounds really shitty. Did I ever tell you about the chocolate ham? Don't care. Yeah? Nope. I think I've told you about the chocolate ham. My cousin's birthday is like fifth birthday. Do you not hear me? All right.

Food is amazing and there's so many choices such as Chinese, Italian, Indian, etc. The list goes on forever. How can you not choose it? No, you said you didn't want to know something. Please, can you stop? Please, I was just kidding. I really want to know about the chocolate ham. You sure?

Yes. Cameron, can I tell him about it? That's up to you, man. I'm not, I don't, you don't have to ask me. I don't know, it seems like you're the one in charge right now. I'm not in charge. I'm looking at these comments. I'm trying to find the next comment to read.

You guys have to settle this yourself. My, my cousin's fifth birthday. I don't care. I'm a big fat kid who like to eat. Whoa. Yeah, you are. My food, wait, go back. Food is my best friend. By the way, I'm not a loner.

Whoa. So that means he's got a lot of food around him? Yeah. He's got, he lives in. For the win. Food is a need. Oh, he's really small and he lives in sausage party. He lives in the grocery store after dark.

Come on. Food creates a satisfying feeling that comes from endorphins in your brain. Enjoy it with some spaghetti, sandwiches, brownies, chicken tenders, etc. I love to have food with my spaghetti. I think sausage party might be, like, to me, I don't think I've ever watched a movie that filled me with so much, like, like, existential unease. Yeah. I watched that movie, and it really upset me. I think I got, I think I watched, like, a clip from it.

I've never seen it, but I watched a clip from it, and it made me so upset. It really, like, made my stomach hurt. Yeah. You know, it's like when you watch Fight Club and you're, like, too young. Yeah. And you're like, ugh. Yeah. I did not watch, I did not watch, it was like watching.

It was bad, dude. It's that movie with Brad, I think it's Troy. Brad Pitt plays Achilles. It's probably Troy. I haven't seen it. I saw that. I saw the Trojan horse scene, and it freaked me out as a kid. Why is this horse so big?

What is this? What is what? Dad, the horse is made of wood. Dad! You're afraid that the Territian horse was going to show up to your house, huh? I got really upset that there was a bunch of people getting murdered. You sound like a pussy. I liked it.

I looked out of the window, and I lived in Syria, and I would just watch people die all day when I was a kid. I'm from Syria. A lot of people don't know, though. I'm from Aleppo. Yeah. Like Steve Jobs, what? Steve Jobs. He was Syrian.

Really? Was. Yeah. Now he's seriously a dead skinny guy. Yeah. Yep. And he used to seriously be a fat baldy with a turtleneck. And he seriously sipped some smoothies.

Yep. To subdue his symptoms of cancer. And what did they do? Suffocated him to death. Yep. He got a strawberry lodge in his fucking tubes. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Well, that's his thing. He thought that you're supposed to eat. The fruitarian thing works, but he thought you had to eat all the fruit. hole. And he got to watermelon Wednesdays. And it really ruined everything. Yeah. Also, like, it's the hardest thing to do because, like, there's two, you know, there's not a lot of tea fruits. Yeah. Yeah. He had to do, uh, tea, he's had to settle for 2D fruity.

Yeah. Yeah. There's tropical Tuesdays and then 2D-fruity Thursdays. And 2D-fruity Thursday is hard because all the food is 2D. Yeah. It was lucky he died on watermelon Wednesday before he got fruit, parenthesis, all Friday. Fruit comma, every Fridays. Then there's strawberry Saturdays, and, you know, it's fine. Those are good.

Strawberry Saturdays is great. Some blueberries Sundays. More blueberries Mondays. The blueberries Tuesday. The blueberries Thursdays. It's all blueberries. Wow. Blueberries Wednesday.

And watermelons. Yep. Music is number four. I would never spend. How do you spend $100 bucks on anything? You can spend $100 bucks on a guitar. That's not, doesn't count. That's a toy.

Guitar's not a toy. For your ass, it is. Bitch ass. I said it first. Fucking bitch ass. Jinks. What? I said bitch at the same time and now you owe me a Coke.

Stupid ass, bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. What type of bitch? Bitch?

What type of bitch? No. Probably not, because it's you saying it. Cameron, does it sound cool on the microphone when I do this? Bitch? Not really. Is it doing a Doppler? It just sounds like you're moving the microphone around.

You want to do a toddler. Yep. Yeah, I love music and dancing to it. YouTube. One word. Music rules. Number five is movies. This motherfucker.

I know this motherfucker right here is spending $100 on movies. I spend a lot of money on movies. Let's just hope that like gambling isn't one of the entries on the list. It's definitely one of them. There's no way it is. Sorry people. I love the movie.

What about you guys? I hate the movie. If you all want endgame so badly, get the disc or download it onto your phone legally. Facts. Movies for the win. Yep. I love my movies. Oh, rare Doug appearance.

I love my movie collection. You can always watch movies for free on 1-2-3 movies. Movies.com from, I hate school. You know he, the bad kid. Oh, my God. He's watching a movie. I bet he goes to www. NakedLadies.com, too.

He goes to Whitehouse.com and not.gov. That's right. Right after he said you weren't getting got to. Oh, shit. Number six is a puppy. It costs way more than 100 bucks. This shit's lying. Yeah.

How much does your dog cost $1 million trillion dollars? I think the adoption fee is $4.00. Really? Yeah. They have a, they have a genius. The top comment here is by a genius. I think that you ought to rephrase that When you buy an animal

You aren't just buying the baby version of that animal You are buying that animal's entire life And it is your duty to provide for and love them all that time Anyways, when you add food, vet care, and other necessities Dogs cost much more than $100 And then it's colon dash slash They did the slainty face Yeah, the slanty face, but with the nose

Whoa, wait, wait, Caleb got in trouble for doing a slanty face one time No, I didn't Yeah, here's a, here's a, here's a coming from a dove. Yep, so far my dog has lavishly spent $1,000 plus dollars. I hate when my dog spends my money. Stop fucking putting your dog's pop print on your fucking iPhone, man. He gets my credit card when I go to work.

It's fucked. Dogs been doing in-app purchases. Yeah. On rag and bone.com. Imagine you get an Amazon, a huge Amazon box delivered, and you open it up. All tennis balls. Literally just all tennis balls and huge. huge bones

I don't think I ordered this I remember ordering this yeah I don't think I know it's it's you know what a puppy ordered all that it must have been my puppy that loves the delicious bones to play with tennis balls

yeah if you call your credit card company and tell them your puppy did it so basically it was my mistake I did make my password I'm a dog there was like a knock on the door and it's the pizza delivery guy it's like I'm here I'm bringing a pizza.

It's a, it's got no cheese, no sauce. It's just, it's peanut butter? What? Did you order this? Peanut butter and bones? I don't know. Oh, it must be my... I'm not too lazy to make peanut butter on toast.

It must have been my dog who calls you. This pizzas is like nothing I've ever seen. It's just a bone. There's no bread. Well, I'll have to punish my dog by eating this myself and not letting him have any. And hurting my dog also. I don't like to get high on peanut butter and hurt my dog. That's not what I do.

I don't like to get high off the sugar and the canola oil. Also, I don't have any money, so if I could pay you some other way. Or if my dog could pay you some other way, because it's for him. I'm not going to use it. Are you going to put the peanut butter on you? I can put the peanut butter wherever. I can put it wherever. Peanut butter. Pizza with a side of peanut butter.

Peanut butter dipping cut. Yeah. Yeah. What else? What else? Number seven is a phone. 100 pounds is not enough for an iPhone. Okay. If it was, I mean, that's more than enough.

My phone weighed 100 pounds. You know, my damn phone's too big. Yeah. That's in a pad territory. Yep. Um, yeah, whatever. Number eight is books. Who the fuck spends $100 on books?

Lame. I don't spend any money on books. No, books are free. Dumbass. Books are easily free. Or they're a dollar. You wouldn't know. You probably spent more money on books than I have.

You probably think it's $100 to buy a book. You have a bunch of, like, books that probably cost you 50 bucks because they, like, got one printing and there are like some TV characters entire biography. That and like cause table books. I don't buy any bones. Don't you say, don't you fucking dare. Don't you fucking dare say I like cause. You love cause.

I don't love cause. You guys should see his apartment is full of cause. I probably never spent more than like $5. I'm looking right now. You've got the, you've got the Coons, the balloon animals. Pause. I don't have the balloon animals. Yes, you do.

Where? You have those balloon animals that they have in realty offices and shit? Nah. Actually, the fucking the big. What realty offices are the fuck you going to? I went to one. It went to like a fancy. Realty office, they have a fucking Jeff Coon's

fucking... Like the balloon animal? What the fuck? Yeah, there's one in a... Well, I think it's like a knockoff, but it was like the place somewhere around revered. You've been stealing one foot cause statues from

Dominican barbershop and putting them in your house. You have. Number nine, donate to charity. Nah, miss me with that. Yep. Fuck those kids. Fuck the cancer patients.

I've never seen this before. Whoa. In the entirety of this podcast, number 10, it just says, 10. There's nothing there. There's no entry, and there's a ton of comments. There's a comment here. Live your life to the fullest. Oh, Trips. But it doesn't say anything. It doesn't say it, but it's supposed to be trips. See if you can highlight it. See if it highlights.

No, there's just nothing there. What the hell? Wait, we gotta take a photo of this shit. This is life-changing. Go ahead. They did a blank entry. This is a crazy episode. God Almighty. This is the craziest episode we've ever done. This is the most psychotic shit that's ever happened. Damn Oh, it is trips It's trips, yeah

But it still doesn't show up Number 11's cat Fuck a cat Number 12 is tattoo Yup yep I would get a tattoo Of conquer the squirrel On my arm

Just kidding I wouldn't get a tattoo They aren't for me I don't want to get a tattoo Of something stupid Caleb has a ghost On his ass Check out my butt

The ghost I've never seen the ghost You never seen this? I've seen it actually Nevermind I have seen that ghost This is like a This is like

Probably my best tattoo Where are you like There's a really good comment on this one. Yeah. I fucking knew it. Yeah. Yeah, that's the dumbest shit ever. It's cool.

It's not cool. Look, it has the same dot. You're talking a lot of shit right now, Pat. I have a cool tattoo. Yeah? My tattoo's sick. Yeah? Yeah.

Just says Dr. Evil on my left bicep. That's cool. It is kind of cool. That is a sick. It's not as cool as my ghost. No, the ghost is not as cool as it. That is cool. That is the cool.

Okay, okay. The tribal thing is. it's way sicker than mine. Yes. That's sick as fuck. Now he wishes he got a tribal tat like me. I was thinking about it. He's a copycat.

You should just get all different, all like this exact kind of little $100 tribal tat all over everybody. I'm gonna get barbed wire across the arm. Barbed wire's sick, dude. Yeah, dude. You should get a, like a really shit. You should get one of those crosses that turns into like the John Deere logo at the top.

Mm-hmm. That'd be cool. Yeah, dude. I want to, I want the linework to look so bad. Yeah. It's like clearly done by a guy who's been in recovery for 20 years, and he's just got the shakiest hands. No shading.

Yeah, no, no. It's barbed wire, no shading. Yeah, yeah, with like a real, real fucking small needle, too. Uh-huh. Yeah, that'd be cool. Yeah. Got a tattoo on my arm. I screams like a baby.

Yes, I am honest, because the owner was playing this song I kind of detest now. It's called karate chop, and it is the worst future song I've ever heard. Whoa, karate shop's good. This guy's an idiot. He was screaming like a baby because he heard that song. song, you said. I am so glad I stumbled on this website. I've been looking for a way to spend my newly earned $100,

and I'm so excited to get a little pink dolphin on my ankle. Heart, Merry Christmas. Damn. I should get a, like the pink, wait, pink dolphin, like the hot topic brand. Here's one that's, each word is capitalized. I'm getting a tattoo of a foot on my foot. Mind blown. That's sick, dude.

That's swag. Number 13 is shoes How are you going to buy a $100 pair of shoes? How could a man possibly buy, a man possibly buy a hundred dollar pair of shoes? He just did. That's probably the most expensive pair of shoes

I ever bought in my life, I think. Buy a huge amount. I think I probably the most I spent on shoes besides that is probably like $40. 40 or $50? I buy like new balance shoes. I'm a shoe carnival man. I'm not like a shoe guy.

You ever go to shoe carnival? What's that? Shubbaka? Bro, shoe carnival was crazy. What is it? You go in, it's like,

there's like a get-what-you-get-wheel. Yeah? Where you spin a wheel and, like, it's like a giant wheel, and sometimes you get a free pair of shoes because it's... Where is this? Send one way to North Carolina.

I'm gonna go there next time. Yeah. It's got the worst fucking shoes in the world. Yeah? But they got a wheel, though. I do love to spin a wheel. They got a serious game show. I don't care as long as I get to spin a wheel.

No, you just spin the wheel. And then, like, it gives you different coupons. I'll go to like the worst place in the world as long as there's a wheel there. If they, if the wheel is still going, dude, next time we're in Wilmington, I'll take your ass. Yeah. Yeah. We'll hit you. What do they got there? Like, uh, air speeds? Yeah. Remember airspeed? They got the Shaquille O'Neal shoes. Dude, dude. I tried to... I used to only wear Shaq shoes when I was like in third grade. I tried to buy a pair a couple years ago. They only make them in kid size. It's so fucked up, dude. It's messed up. Shack can't even wear them

damn shoes. Number 27 is toys. Yes, I love toys. I have no idea why. I'm 12 and I still love toys. I like Legos and plushes of video game characters. I already have Pikachu Link and I'm getting Conquer the Squirrel soon. Toys rule. Facts. I mean, that's fact. I'm 12 and I still love toys. I'm 12 and even I like toys. You think you guys didn't get bullied out of playing with toys when you were like 10? I never got bullied even once. I am 89 years old and I love toys. I dominated my That's a comment right here. I'm 89 years old. Do you just remember that guy

when I lived in Central Square? Remember that crazy house across from me? Yeah. Yeah, that guy would go to Brookline lunch down the street and he would go and play with action figures all day. Really? So cool. And he was old as fuck.

He was like in his 70s. He would just be there playing with G. Joe. I was like, I would get cooler toys. And I was like, that guy is a homeowner. I would get cooler toys than that guy. And I would go.

and I would sit next to him. Sit across from him. Make him jealous? Yeah. Pretty good idea. I show up with my like $80 BBA8 and I have it on the table and it's spinning around and it's eating, it's eating lunch with me. He probably would not, he'd probably think you were a witch, dude. He would not like that.

Whoa! Yeah, he would freak out. His dog is on the table! Get his dog down! It is kind of a dog. W.W.E. Magazines, and there's two comments. okay you want me to click on i'm sure this is going to be porn magazines are better i don't like wrestling but i'd rather have that porn wait wait smooth criminal says i would do this yeah baby

number 46 fleshlight fleshlight so great scary is a concept number 47 cranberry juice you think so yeah scary uh-huh spunk it in a hole is scary just like just like imagine opening that thing up and just look like looking at like a vagina like that. I think I'm just scared of vaginas. I think so. Number 50, dildo. This is an excellent suggestion.

Now, dildos are actually cool, though. Everyone needs one of these, whether you're a guy or a girl. Car parts. This man is a genius. Beef jerky? Beef jerky is expensive as hell. They got to lower them damn prices. It's like six bucks for a little sweet and hot.

I called the boys on my bus beef jerky when I meant to call them jerks. It's pretty smart. Concert tickets. Now. Make up hot wings. I love hot wings. Me too. A knife?

A knife. Bong. Spin brush, toothbrush. Oh, I used to only use that toothbrush. Goldfish crackers. Changed my life. Bacon. Yep.

Scooter. Do you guys have scooters growing up? Yeah. I didn't have a scooter. I did. I did skateboard. I'd wonder I'd just destroy my ankles trying to that spin thing. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, dude, I just kill myself every single day. I hated scooters. Legos, video games. A pimp leash. What? A pimp leash. A pimp leash.

Helps keep us in line. especially one with Rhinestones and Cheetah Print. I've never, what's a pimp leash? Tickets to a car race. I've never seen a pimp. You put like a woman on a leash? Yes. Number 70s, porn membership.

He has ever known anybody like shared a Brasgers membership? Oh my God. I'll read this, but I'll change the number, I guess. Well, if people see the episode, they'll be able to find the list. Somebody put their whole address. It says free sex, who want? I live in, and then a full address. Free sex.

Jesus. Love it. Hashtag gay porn. Whoop, whoop. They don't say what city, though, right? Yeah. I still don't want to read it. I don't think we should read it.

I think morally we shouldn't read it. But they're trying to get people to come fuck them, dude. That's true. We're messing up their game. Should we help them out by, you know? You just open the page on top tens for chicken someone. I didn't know you could do that. If you click on chicken, chicken is just perfect.

Chicken, chicken is just perfect. Ham and pig is better. Do they mean chicken the meat or chicken the animal? We've got to go lightning round here. Concert ticket, fidget spinner. There were some good one. Hair highlights. I love it, and I am a kid.

There are a bunch of good ones that have like one comment, friends, nail polish, snapback. You can never go wrong with trying to have swag. And the best way to do that is wearing snapbacks. Mm-hmm. Tacos. Yep. A Nerf Gun, a bike, potatoes. I was listening to, like, a song recently.

It was like my favorite, my new favorite song ever. Yeah. And I looked at... What song is it? It's every chance that I get by a little baby and DJ Khalid. And I watched the video, right? And I was like, dude, this song is so awesome. And the top comment on the YouTube video was like,

this song is a serious vibe, especially if you play high school basketball or football. I was like, I got a change the music taste. Something's wrong with me, dude. Dude, yeah. You listen to, like, it's so funny. I only listen to the same rap that the 16-year-old's like. Yeah. Yeah.

You love, like, Juice World and shit. I love Juice World and, like, fucking, like. I love Juice World, too. Juice World's great. Yeah, don't talk down on Juice World. Well, not, I'm talking down. I'm just, it's funny. What's his real name?

Juice. Juice. Juston. Juxtin Worldness. Yeah. World and Steen. Oh, wait, he's the one who died, right? Yeah.

Oh, you, he's the one. He's the only one that died. The only rapper to ever die. Yeah, the only, the only, The only emo rapper, young emo rapper to die. It's so fucking funny to me that you were like an emo rap guy. We used to have... It's sick, dude.

We used to have XXX, X, X, Juice, and Little Peep. Now we got... No X's. Now when I watch X, X, X, X, X, X, X, movies, my peep make some juice. Yep. That's right. Auction. You can always find something worth your while.

auction. Hermit crabs. Hermit crabs. Candles. Yankee candles are bay. A nice dinner for your family or significant other. Nah. Fuck that shit. A pug. Grammar tutoring. Apples. Ha-ha. L-O-L. A toilet if you have to poop. Another $100 bill. Hell not. Exchange that shit for a new and old one. Chairs, posters. Stationary. I love stationary. A used car. Turtles. Turtles are swag, so get one now. Outside toys. Yeah. I love outside toys. Me too. They stay outside and then get kind of Ooh, Bunsey, buddy. Halloween decorations, Halloween animatronics, drugs. Come on.

Oh, my God, so many comments on drugs. Alcohol, cigarettes. I'm glad these all got voted down. I refuse to get drunk. Prostitute. The person that made this should be banned from the site. Instead of paying 100 for one go, pay 50 twice. Gun.

Why the heck would someone buy this? Pogo stick, bag of poop. Nah, you, no, similac. What? Round of golf. I drink similac for breakfast. Second breakfast, lunch, 11sies, 12sies, and dinner.

That's a very sick child. That's a hobbit. Drums, steak, baked potatoes, peanuts. You're just foods of these kids. Scissors, because then I can break into your house and cut up all your chairs. Can I eat your face? That's random as hell.

Ham. Ham is so good. My last meal alive will be ham. Rare cards. There's one comment. Before we end, now you can tell the chocolate ham story. Okay. My cousin loved Scooby-Doo so much when he was a kid,

and he saw Scooby eat a chocolate ham and requested a chocolate ham for his fifth birthday dinner. Did you have some? I didn't eat any of the chocolate ham. I've said this before. I've said this before. Yes, he did eat the chocolate ham.

Okay. Once he said... I really, it was smart of me to interrupt him every other time and I'm sorry that I let him say that at the end. I'd like to apologize to the listener. All right. Go buy a ticket to the D&D show. Oh, and I think there's maybe...

you some tickets for me and Adam Friedland in Boston this weekend cool I think maybe the third show some tickets um 187 furniture great if you want to give your house a new look bye bye you oh