Podcast About List - Ep. 186 - Dear Sullivan

Episode Date: March 23, 2022

we did an advice column today. adding a second LA show and a SF show. buy tix at swagpoop.com/shows and play awesome HTML games.

Come in, come in, come in, and we see your butt. All the counts for the ball list. Every crap monster. Hey. Oh, what's up, buddy? I really like this new setup of you all the way over there. Yeah. It shows that you're separate from me and camera,

maybe a little worse, like Robin from Howard Stern. Or from Batman. Yeah. Robin from Howard Stern sat away. Yeah. They segregated her? They did, dude. Yeah.

What? You never saw, you never watched the video versions of Stern Where it's like him, it'll be him, and then like, like, Gary, Gary, Gary, Beetlejuice. Gary De La Batee? It'll be him, Baba Bui. Baba Bui is Gary Delabate. No, I'm thinking of Gary, Gary de la retard. No, it's Eric.

No, Gary the retard. I thought it was Eric the retard. No, Gary's the one who has no teeth. No, Gary's the one with the big teeth, Baba Bui. No, Gary has no teeth Who am I thinking of? I don't know I'm thinking of Bababoo

Gary's the one who did Gary the snail from SpongeBob Gary's the one who does the game show with beat Where they both have to spell red That's Eric, the retard I think it's Gary the Retard No, hold on, let me Google this

Could be wrong Let me go to my I think it's Gary the snail still I'm standing by that Eric the Red was an explorer Yeah, I loved when Howard Stern made Leif Erikson ride the Sibian. Oh, oh, it's, I'm thinking of, I'm thinking of high-pitched Eric. There's Eric the actor, okay.

Then there's Fred the Elephant Boy. Lenny Teichstra. Gary, yeah, okay, Gary the retard, yeah. And Gary's from Oregon. He lives in Oregon. He says in that video, he says, I have to, he says it just like this. I have to fly back to Oregon tomorrow. He says it just like that.

That's so cool. Yeah, he's a great guy. Yeah. You know him? Yeah. You guys, like, hang out? Mm-hmm. I go to Oregon with him.

Nice. Yeah. Yeah. You go down on his organ with him. I didn't know tan mom was one of the whack pack members. Tan mom? Yeah. Really?

The mom. Yeah, I remember her. The tannest mom of all time. She's like this table. yeah pretty much a mahogany woman yeah i um i got i got oh yeah i got i got attacked so yeah you tell your your your story and i have a question about it it's no story dude some some fucking antifa soldier through a through a hyniquin bottle through my so in my window yeah because i was getting too close to the truth car window right yeah here's what i'm thinking of

you've parked the car near the office before right yep do you think maybe this could be the work of the beautiful invader who's seen you walking from the car to the office and followed the car. Did this happen at the office? No, it happened outside my house. I'm saying maybe he walked, he fought maybe now. Also, apparently happened broad day, dude. Really? Yeah. Broad day. Then you not

know for two days. That's because at night, that's because at night the invaders get in beauty sleep. True. I thought that it was during, that it happened like a couple days ago during the night and I just didn't see it until I went to move my car. But apparently, old old baby girl was walking the

dog yesterday morning and she made specific note of the fact that there was not a hole in the car window when she walked by it and then when I went out at about 4.30 She specifically noted that because I think that that would maybe make her the culprit. No, I don't know.

I was like, I think we might have to put her on investigation. She said, yeah, she texted three hours before. At 8.30. There's no hole in the car window. There's not a single hole in the car window, especially not from a beer. Then she came back. She's all she's, she's, she's, uh, burping up bubbles. You know, she's got snobes.

Bubbles, she's swaying left to right. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Seeing pink elephants who are spurting water out of their mouths. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't think it was her. I think the trunk of an elephant should be the mouth, not the nose. I think the trunk of the car is where you put beer, not the window. Here's my question. Why do you call it a trunk on an elephant when it's in the front when you call a trunk of a car is in the back of the car? Yeah. Unless it's a Lamborghini. Unless it's a limbo. Maybe all along that was the back of the elephant and the front is the butt. That's my question and my problem as well. Maybe the tail is the real trunk.

I don't really care. I'm just really, I'm just hurt, man. I'm hurt, and I need to see a pair of humongous boobs. Well, what? Yeah, I need to see a pair of boobs that are... That's not going to fix your problem, man. I need to see a pair of boobs. You need to go to therapy.

Nope. No, I don't think so. I need to see a pair of boobs that are so big that they smell bad. You need to go to therapy, and I have just a solution for you. I need a pair of boobs. With BetterHelp.com. No, a pair of boobs that smell really bad because they're so big. Hey, that they smell bad.

You know what I mean? Better help. Like a fat guy's belly button. You can get a therapist with big sweater boobs. Like you lift up the big boobs and you're just like, oh. Oh. Get back here. Get back.

Stop rolling away. Speaking of websites like BetterHelp.com, we have some really huge news. And then you do this like under the boobs, right? And there's like tons of just dead skin that gets all over your. Jesus Christ, man. Because it's been just so long. Why are you doing? Yeah, what's wrong with you today?

He is really loopy. His car was broken into. Did I not just tell you what's fucking wrong with me today? Was there anything stolen out of the car? No, but they... Then you're overreacting. I did not check my CDs. Uh-oh.

They took one kind of beer bottle-sized shape of glass from my window. Yeah. It sucks, dude. The worst part is the whole fucking cars filled. It's like covered in beer. At least they didn't take your beer. They literally gave me beer. Yeah.

But it's like the beer dried and all the glass stuck to it. So it's like, it's like a nightmare. Like, none of the glass, like, I can't clean it up. You know, you have a shop vac? Huh? You don't have a shop back? What do you think I am a millionaire? My dad has one.

Yeah, he's a millionaire. That's true. Yeah. My dad is a millionaire. He's a millionaire. He's a millionaire. He's a millionaire. No, I don't have a shop vac.

Yeah. I have a, my dad's a millionaire. I'm thinking of just letting him kind of, like, lap everything up, all the glass and stuff. My dad's only a millionaire because of, uh the nfts sold yeah yeah you guys you guys see that i think i think i should send it to you guys isn't your your dad's goatecy yeah my dad is the guy from goatees he minted goatezy that's smart dude that is smart can i share the exciting website news now oh yeah oh yeah this is huge um if you check out our website at swag poop dot com you'll notice that several very

fun games have been added that you can play let me actually let me read out the games that now and there are more to come so don't think that this is it but right now right now i mean you have access to for for free it doesn't cost any money to play no ad free as well we should be putting this behind a paywall uh haunted house hidden objects game bunny solitaire squirrel bubble shooter that one's really fun squirrel bubble shooter is really good christmas mystery this is the one i've been really on to king's gold is is is my second favorite king's gold king's gold is very solid is really good i do like king's gold a lot yeah uh but squirrel bubble shooters definitely the best one. More, more to come. Keep your eyes peeled. And when it asks you if you want to

accept cookies to read and share your data with advertisers, click yes. I would say that's a strong yes, because that supports us. That comes from our website, so it's safe. Yeah. And I'm not embedding these games from any website that would have, would do anything nefarious with your data. No. Definitely not. So you should definitely accept the cookies. And even then a website like that. And if you already accepted the cookies without reading what it was for, you should not be worried. Yeah. And even then a website like that, that would host games like this for free, would never take

your data and do anything bad with it. No, and it wouldn't hack our website either. No, it would not. And it won't, it definitely, yeah, it won't be an issue if we ever added any e-commerce to our website, and it won't take any credit card data from our database or anything like that. Definitely not. Yeah. I can't see that happening.

No, that makes no sense. Yeah. Kings gold. Squirrel bubble shooter. Squirrel bubble shooter. It's really good. Those two, check them out. I got, I played squirrel bubble shooter for like an hour less than I got to level 26 before.

Oh my God. I think I got to a level 11. Oh, you're not a pro. Oh, I guess I'm not. Christmas mysteries, a lot of good. Is that one of the hidden objects ones? Yeah. Yeah.

A lot of hidden presents. Really? Why would you hide presents? So you can find them? Why are you hiding them presents? I want to see the presents. I want to, every day is a present. That's why they call it the presents.

That's why they call it. No, every day is a gift, and that's why they call it the present. And then the past, every day is the present. That's why I wrap. The past is, you passed it. Past is the past because you're up. And then the future is for her. No, the future is called that because it fuches.

It's fuching. Yeah. Yeah. It's fuching to happen soon. Yeah. It's just fuching to happen. And the, what's it called when you go sideways in parallel? Dimension.

Parallel dimension. Dimension, yeah. Parallel. I shudder at dimension of this bullshit. Mm-hmm. What? Yeah. I say it again?

He forgot dimension how to pronounce it. I shudder at dimension of this bullshit. Oh, I get, yeah, yeah, yeah. The very mention of the third dimension. Yeah. I wish we could go back one dimension. Yeah. I'm sick of this.

I want to be 2D. I'm sick of this 3D shit. Mm-hmm. I'd be so skinny in 2D. I'd like to unfold us and get us back to 2D. Yeah, definitely. Like our forefathers. Yeah.

Like Benjamin Franklin. Our two fathers. Yeah. They only, you see, they only call, they called them that because they only had two names

and this hyphen bullshit. Yeah. That their P parents are having now. Yo, when you see a kid with a hyphenated name, you know, you know they got a crazy-ass home life.

Yep. Yep. You know his parents are either lesbians or split up. You know that kids acting out in algebra. Uh-huh. Why the hell would you do that to a child?

If I was a teacher and I got my like, my like attendance roster at the beginning of the year, and I saw a kid with a hyphenated last name, I would quit. Definitely. Yeah. I'm no chance I'm trying to teach one of those. That kid ain't bringing you no apples.

No. No, he's bringing you apples, but check it out, there's a worm in them. Can you imagine how good that's got to feel when you just get yourself real hungry as a teachers? You can eat some apples when you get there. Yeah, but what are the kids bringing a red delicious? Who cares? You're a teacher. Dude, a red delicious apple on a teacher's salary?

I think that's a delicacy, actually. Yeah, maybe. No, Honey Crisp is a little. That's got to be... If a kid brings in a honey crisp... Oh, my God. Straight A's, dude. That was like, I mean...

A pink delicious. You know, nowadays, though, with today's society, kids stop bringing in apples. Nowadays, they bring in Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts gift cards. Yep. Nowadays, kids bring in their Apple iPhones and film... They would film you when you're bending over in class. Yeah. They used to bring in apples.

Now they bring in their Apple iPhones and film you calling one in the students of a freak. Posted on an Apple location called Hot Tee. Sure.com. Yeah. The kids are, they're trying to fool you by drinking I beer in class. Yep.

They're making me all pissed off. Hey! You can't drink them. It says you gotta be 21 to download that app. You can't be 18 plus in downloading that app. No.

I teach kids with GEDs or trying to get GEDs. That's another, that's another app I teach. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what it does. It teaches you.

What? Teaches you how to rap. I don't know about you guys. Well, when I'm in school, I see the, the teacher right on the chalkboard. I want to talk because I'm bored.

Uh-huh. Yep. And they're calling them smart boards, but it's not making me any smarter. And the board's white, and I'm white, and I'm bored. White board.

I'm white, and I'm bored. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Oh, she's writing on the whiteboard with a marker.

Yeah, I'd like to put down a marker on this school that I would like to blow up. Yep. Yep. I had to read 10 books and I... My name is Ben Took. I had to read 10 books, but Ben took them and I look thin.

Yeah. They got me reading Bell hooks in this class. The bell just went off and I have to go play hooky for my next class. Yep. Yo, I'm a senior in high school. They want me to buy textbooks. I'd rather buy sex than fuck. That's...

Yeah. I'm over there in Home Eck because my home. Because my home's heck. My dad's real, he's abusive. Oh my God. I'm so sorry. My home is complete heck. They want me to run around in gym class and said I'm running away from my dad whose name is Jim class.

I'm Daryl class. This is my story. Yeah. Yeah, my name's math class. Yeah. They got me in Woodshop. Yeah. wood shop for new school clothes if my dad didn't make me wear his hand-me-downs.

Yep. And his name is math class. No, his name is Jim class. And then when I get home, he brings his hand down. Yep. Yeah. Yeah, science class. My dad's violent ass.

Just beat the shit out of me. Yeah, social studies class. Yeah, my sister is named social studies class. Yeah. AP U.S. history. Yeah, my dad'd be saying, app, app, app, app, app, app, app, app. And then his story is, they just drop a drum set upstairs. I think they dropped an entire drum set.

But the point is, saved me from that bit. Lunch, my dad lunched over the dinner table to beat my fucking stupid ass at dinner, because I mouthed off. Yep. My dad, Jim class, he lunched over the dinner table. His middle name shorts. And I've recessed into my mind to escape my physical heck that I home, my home heck. Yeah.

And that, to me, that's psychology. Mm-hmm. Yep. Apicology. That's right. Mm-hmm. Yep. Algebra.

Who's Al. Who's Algebra? Art class? Yeah, that's my uncle's name. I'm just kidding. Biology class. That's my aunt. My dad's gym class.

I'm Daryl class. Oh, you want me to go to the guy. guidance counselor uh i well actually i dance when my dad tries to pounce on me got me a metal shot yeah the only fucking metal i can get is when i shop for it yeah my dad can't even win at baseball because my dad hits me too much shot a piece of metal out of his gun and he he shot me in the head darrell class yeah damn and now i'm and now i'm the story of darrell class and now i'm a ghost I mean, ghost class. Yeah, Ghost 101.

That's my class. I teach. Yep. Yeah. At Hogwarts. They have me teaching Ghost 101. Yeah, and it's at Hogwarts. We've talked about that before, right?

Like, at Hogwarts, like, these kids are, like, completely stupid about everything except pointing their ones, right? Like, they don't have, like, they don't know how to spell or read. There's an SNL sketch. Is it? No, wait. That's high school musical. Oh.

They have Troy Bolton come back. Why are you remembering SNL sketches, dude? Because Zach Efron's in it, and he looks very cute. I'm at school. They're making me study calculus. I wish I was a gladiator named Maximus, so I could defeat my dad. Yeah. With a spear in Annette.

Annette? Yeah, she's in my class. And she's a girl that makes the kootie catchers. Who? Cudy catchers. Yeah, that's what my dad is when he's down at the damn gold club. Yeah, he's a koochie catcher. He's the kudy catcher.

He's putting his finger and all those women in the champagne room. Yeah, what's his? Fingering class. Champagne room. I'd rather be in the shampoo room. I'm so dirty. My dad doesn't let me shower. Champagne room.

I've had enough pain in my room from my dad. Damn. My dad, my dad, Shammell Belt. My dad, Shaman Payne. Shimona. Shemona Payne. Shemona Payne. That's my mom's name.

My name is Daryl Class Payne. Shemona Payne is what those kids were saying after they were at Neverland Ranch. Yep. Shemona Payne. What's another school thing? Well, we have to, if we want to do this. Kindergarten. Desk and chairs, I got, I got, uh, chest leairs.

I went through. puberty. I went through puberty. I have Chesley hairs now. So what about that? Hannah. That's my crush at school. Drivers Ed. My dad crushes me after school. Driver's Ed. Yeah, my dad's designated driver's name is

Ed. He can't go anywhere without having six beers. Jim class. Driver's Ed, my brother Kyle is dead because my dad hit him so hard that he died with one punch. He killed my son or my dad. or my brother all of them he killed all of them he said the worst guy ever all right okay today we have a very special episode a special where we're we're doing an advice column we're jumping out

of the lists to to give you um the advice that all of you sent into our email address pot at cast about list at gmail dot at cast about at list at gmail at com yeah it's an extra it's an extra at email address that has multiple ads. Yeah. Now, if we want to, we want to jump right into this, maybe. Yeah, I think we should just start with the first question from a listener. I love to jump right into this. Yeah.

Let me, let me see here. Now, some of these also have just, just answers attached to them already. Yeah, we don't know why. Yeah, I don't know what's going on here. Somebody replied to the email thread. Yeah, here's our first question. Can humans become demons? And here's the answer that's already attached here.

To be a demon, you will have to spend several hundred and thousands of years in hell as Lucifer's foot soldier, gaining his trust, doing his dirty work, and building a demonic reputation. This often means, quote, accidental mass murdering such as 9-11, Hurricane Katrina, and more. Wow. It's pretty good. That one, it's making Caleb cry. No, I just cried. I just realized the name of a...

okay so this question is should teenage boys eat their cum so there's two there's two answers here and i'll give my answer first no okay uh neil sterling who lives in the united kingdom says yes not only is it good for you but it's fun to produce it and then somebody else says most definitely you should eat you cum every time it's possible in fact a teenage boy should go out of his way to find all the people they can and drink their cum as well. It is growing years, and eating a lot of cum will help your dick grow long and hard, so find all the people you can to suck them off and drink their cum. And that person's name is master.

Wow. But you guys, you guys ever get some cum in your mouth? Yeah. It's not, uh, it tastes like orange juice. Depends on the day. It tastes like fire. Did you eat a bunch of ribs or something? I did. Yeah, I did. It's going to taste like salt. Yeah, I was...

If you eat a bunch of pineapples, it tastes like a tropical delight. Yeah, I think I did. I tried the pineapple thing for a little bit in high school. Nobody was like eating my cum, but I was like, I was like, maybe, I just want to make sure if it ever comes... In the situation that someone wants to eat my cum suddenly. I want to be out of nowhere. Yeah, so I was eating a lot of fruits and stuff. That's what the Pinia colada songs about.

And I wish it, I'd. gotten, I wish that that's when I'd gotten cum in my mouth. Yeah. But I got, I think I got coming to my mouth at a time when I was mostly eating like Chabata bread and Cheerios. Oh, man. And so it was really, it was real dusty. Yeah.

Yeah. Kind of tasted like an attic. Yeah. Do your cum taste like kashi and it's like, damn? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's got some crunch to it. Yeah. That's why, Mills loves this shit.

It's like the gojo soap. Yeah, it's exactly like gojo soap. It had pumice. Oh, the one in the cranes. Yeah. It definitely had stones in it. You got, that is the worst soap of all time. It's horrible.

The one office thing you did, you just fucked it up so bad. I bought a, I bought like a one gallon thing of soap that has pumice stones in it. And he bought quarter-ply toilet paper. Yeah, one roll. Yeah, one roll of quarter-plied toilet paper. You did. No, I didn't. Just read your, Joe and Alex.

Just answer your question. All right. Here's a question. It doesn't say who it's from. but this is it has seven answers it says I think my aunt has a crush on me

what do I do and Janet Maker PhD of educational psychology says just make sure you do nothing to encourage her you might start talking about your girlfriend

or boyfriend make sure you're never alone with her if she invites you anywhere say no in fact if you think she might invite you prepare a list

of excuses in advance what are the signs of an aunt crush she says I have a crush on you she says i have a crush on somebody in the family but i can't tell you who and it's not my husband so there's his guy so i'm talking i've been thinking i've been talking to this guy

i've been talking to this guy he's a little younger than me i've been talking to this guy's a little bit younger than me um and he loves spitfire wheels he loves getting his cheeks pinched he loves cheeks pinching and he loves quick getting a spitfire shirt for Christmas, which may or may not be happening. He's great with my son. He's really good with... Being at Thanksgiving and getting a note handed to you from your grandfather who's sitting next to you, yeah.

It's like, do you like me? He's never been your grandfather? He just looked at it. He's like, pass it on. Pass it on. It's supposed to go to your grandmother. Do you like me? Why?

In? Yes. That you see him me. Yeah, my advice for this one is you have to leave your family permanently. Yeah. Here's my advice. If you leave your family permanently, that means that you were no longer a part of the family and then you're on. And then you can fuck your aunt.

So I think what you should do is probably kill your aunt. You become your own uncle at that point. What? If you get involved with your aunt. I guess so. But here's it. I would say that this situation probably is an aunt by marriage. Okay.

Because I don't, you know, aunt by marriage, pretty hot, you know? Jesus. Like, that's fine. You know, like, you can pursue that. Do you think that's like a, like, because they have all the stepbrother stuff on, on the internet now, all the pornography. I don't even know what you're talking about. You're looking at the stepbrother stuff, not the step sister stuff.

It keeps popping. up the paws it keeps popping up do you think there's like uh so it's like the stepbrother step sister stuff there's all this step dog stuff all over it's so weird do you think that there's like some videos that are like aunt by marriage by marriage stuck in dishwasher definitely yeah yeah by marriage hand stuck in garbage disposal yeah please don't turn on the garbage disposal. I want to see it stuck in the dishwasher one where she's like, like a perfect cube.

You know what I mean? Like she's all mangled and like her, like a plate. She looks like the beginning of it follows where he's like bent back. When you put like a like a water bottle on the bottom rack and like the like lid like melts and like yeah. Yeah, she's all melt half her face. She's melted off. Yeah. That'd be so hot. Here's a, here's a question from one of our listeners sent this in. How can I punish my slave online? And here's an answer attached here from Utah Father's Rights

Helping Dad's Win Custody. A slave with a clueless master is punishment enough. How do you think he lost his kid? Just telling his kid he's his slave his whole life. I would like to... Here's one.

This is from this is from our listener Lickety Squirting Splits This is How was the taste when you first sucked And licked a pussy And Michelle Morgan said

She tasted so good I couldn't stop It was my mom Oh Oh dear And as for my answer I'd like to Say that I've never

I've never and will never do that That's disgusting Yeah Yeah Put somebody's thing in my mouth? No way. Ugh. Yeah.

A penis or a vagina. Just anything. Yeah, I'd have to say, I mean, either way. I'd be sitting in the, in the bathroom immediately after going. I'd wash my mouth. I'd wash my mouth that with soap. I'd have to. I'd put Listerine in my mouth.

And Listerine really hurts. Yeah. But I'd put it in my mouth for maybe four or five seconds. Listerine mixed with hydrogen peroxide. I'd do Listerine mixed with the hot sauce. I do nail posse remover mixed with styrofoam. Put that in my mouth. And here's another one from the same guy.

He just replied to the same email so that he wanted to get two for one. He said, have you ever fucked teen pussy? And this person says, my cousin brother has fucked his teen sister's pussy. And Don Spencer, who lives in West Virginia, says, when I was young, I did my neighbor's daughter. It was mutual and good. I love our fans Yeah And our fan

Jigness Sharma Says yes My own sister's pussy It feels so awesome Here's a Here's one here This is kind of a prequel one A prequel question from a fan

How can I tell my aunt That I have sexual feelings for her And here's a celebrity guest Answer from John Wilson Who says This is a how it went, this is how I went about it. My aunt and I have had a close relationship for a long time. I stayed with her like I was her son through the years. As I grew older, we could talk

about anything, and we did. Some of our best conversations would be when she sun tanned by the pool. I would stare at my aunt's hot body and imagine her naked. One day, I couldn't help myself. So I asked if I could rub lotion on her. With no hesitation, she said, hell yeah. I missed some spots, plus I'd love to be rubbed on. I thought I was dreaming when she said that. Sweet. This works for both of us because I wanted to rub all over your sexy body. She didn't say anything, so I apologize for saying that.

So she rolled over so I could start with her backside. My dick was semi-hard, as I made my way up her thick with two Cs. Wait, we need to imagine what he's, what he's. be filming with all this. So think with two Cs. He's just filming random women on the street. Think with two Cs, maybe like a tree trunk. Mm-hmm.

You know? Continue. It was time to make my move, so I pulled my dick out of the side of my shore. Okay, so that's a guy getting off the subway. Yeah. Yeah. As I moved, it got so hard. Her tan line on her ass was covered by the bottom she was wearing with both hands,

just grabbing her so much. I asked if I could pull them off. Her hips, come up, and I quickly had them off. I asked if it'd bother her by what I said, but not shocked her. There I was, had her legs spread wide with one. Oh, geez. Actually, this is just a 10-minute video of a guy, like, trying to put clothes on a mannequin. Yeah.

That's what plays. Yeah. Tell me the dirty details. This is clearly somebody, like, from reading this, I think that people use this, our fans use the sweats. Our fans use this website to ask these questions. Yeah, gmail.com. Gmail.com and then get prompts from other, or get erotica written by other users. So they use these questions as prompts to garner.

And then people were emailing their, okay. Yeah, they're emailing these erotica. That makes sense with this one. This one is, because there's a, it says, because this one ends with, can you keep it between us, nephew? But there's also another one here from Musadik Khan. Musadik. Musadik Khan. He was a former ex-team leader from 2010 to 2013. He says, you need to go closely and hang out with her. Be friendly with her in conversation. Check whether she taking interest in you. Note her level of comfort and attachment in your company. Once she's enjoying in your company. Slightly move for body touch, occasionally. Once accept your touch, gently kiss her and on hand and hug her. She'll need privacy and confidentiality in such relation with you. Ensure complete privacy to her and move forward for sexual. romantic intimacy during sex, respect her consent on every step of sexual intimacy.

This would take you to long sexual relations with her. You said embassy and then you said intimacy. I'm reading what's written. Okay, I believe you. Cameron, you had one? Yeah, so it is, a lot of these, I think, are our fans kind of, you know, trying to get erotica written like this one here. What is sex like with a female bodybuilder? And this is answered by one of our fans, John Willie.

Oh, he answered the last question. This is about me and my wife, who is a tall and very strong and dominating professional social media female bodybuilder. And I'm a normal skinny and short guy working in software services industry. We got married in September 2021 after dating for over 24 months. And I can't read this whole thing because he literally, he wrote a 26 item list of what happens when they have sex. And each item is like multiple paragraphs long. but he does include the vital statistics of both his wife and him. So his wife is 5 feet 9 inches, 105 kilograms, breast 49 inches, triple Ds, biceps 19 inches, waist 37 inches, thighs, 30 inches, 19 inch biceps.

Cabs, 24 inches, shirt slash bra size, triple XL, body type, strong, athletic, and muscular. And then his stats are 5 feet 4 inches. The weight is 56 kilograms, chest 34. inches, biceps, 13 inches, waist 28 inches, thighs, 18 inches, calves, 14 inches, shirt slash best size, extra small, body type, weak, lean, and thin. Does he list her, does he list her at or anything? Does he plug his wife's bodybuilding? My thighs are smaller than her biceps.

My face is 20% smaller than her boobs. Her ass is bigger than by back. Her thighs are bigger than my waist and as big as my chest. Her side body thickness from back armpits to boobs is as big as my front body with, shoulder to shoulder with. So she can hide me behind her, even horizontally, apart from being obviously able to hide me behind her vertically. And then, yeah, it's a 26.

And then at the end, it's an attached, like, super dark, blurry picture of, of, it's just, it's just two naked bodies, but only, like, the shoulders. Oh, we're looking at this. It's like, it's a, it's a, oh, my God. Yeah. That looks like a, her? It's crazy. She's built, dude.

That looks like it was, it looks like it's AI. It's, it's nuts. But anyway, so we have a lot of fans who are trying to write this erotica stuff, But we also have some fans that are a little more philosophical and are just looking for a serious answer to like a, you know, a deep philosophical question like this fan who sent in, why are my nuts? Can we pause for a second?

I have to go to the bathroom so bad. And as we were saying, this is a pretty good question. This is a woman who's having some merit. issues. She said, how would I make my husband happy in bed? He complains, I have a big pussy, and he doesn't enjoy sex with me. So it's a lot of people in this thread who are just kind of, oh, it's not your fault. It's not your fault, right? Um, spit your gum out. Huh? Spit your gum out. Yeah. Now he's the villain. It's not your fault. Oh, it's not your fault. Your husband's

a jerk. Uh, and then this guy, Usman Fia. A friend of the show. Yeah, friend of the show. He says, I sex with you. And it says his accolade is that he knows English. So that's pretty impressive. I have an advice question here from a fan of the show. I think this one is specifically for Caleb.

This is an advice question. I'm here to answer. Yeah, that asks, what is size of your boob can i see it my boob yeah i don't know i'm trying what what size i'm trying to get mine measured once feel like i could be an a cup

i tried to get my um my sternum bone fitted for a bra yeah i have pectus caranatum i don't know how to say it the one where it pokes out instead it goes in oh yeah when i was in the bird chest and when i was 13 it poked out a lot more and a as a gag me and my friends made they were like oh what the, like, you know, what are the odds?

Remember that game? Yeah, I lost. I had to go into Victoria's Secret and get it fitted. Damn. Asked to get it fitted. And they said, no. They said, no, they said, no, they said, no, they said, they would not fit my, they would not, check my, my size.

What the fuck? That's terrible. Yeah. Different time. Yep. Yep. So, probably one of the most embarrassing moments of my life talking to a Victoria's Secret employee, like.

Well, Victoria's Secret model, because it's all models who works. That's true. Secret Angel that I had to walk up to and ask, well, you... And she was wearing the angel wings, she's only in... She's six feet tall. Well, you put some tape measure around my 13-year-old chest. Yeah. And she said, no.

I will not feed you. Yep. And my friends were like, well, at least you did it. That's right. Anybody have one or just... Yeah, sure. My son's dick gets boner on seeing me. Is it good? I have a question for Cameron. Tell him it's normal and teach him how to take care of it.

This is a question specifically for Cameron from a fan. Uh-huh. What happens if I put liquid meth in my vagina? And somebody named Carissa Gardner, former addict of several drugs for over a decade is there happening, says, first off, what's the point of meth mixed with water? Secondly, I will only allow pure organic grape seed or coconut oil in my vagina because I fear infection, it would destroy your pH balance.

Yeah, I only, I only allow, I only allow, I only allow, Chris is weird. I only allow pure coconut oil in girls' vaginas as well. Absolutely. Yeah. That's a big rule for me. Yeah. That's the only thing that's going in there. Definitely.

Nothing else. Yeah. Why is, it's kind of weird that women's thingies have a scientific element. Yeah. Well, it's because it's an open hole. Guys' things don't have that. Yeah. Like, I don't think about that.

There's no, there's nothing alchemical about my penis. I don't, you know, but the girls are. trying to put the right mixture of... It's basically a hot dog. It's basically a petri dish. Yeah. Their thing. You guys haven't, have never,

because this has got me thinking about the pH balance of my butthole right now. The pH balance of my butthole is all the way negative. Yeah. It's fully... The pH stands for penis hole. Okay. What's the balance? Yeah, what are you balancing in there?

I'm balancing the penis in my butt. How are you balancing it in your butt? What's the number? Six. Is that acidic? I don't know which one is which. Me neither. I think acidic is the most medium.

My damn butt holes acidic, the way that I twirl my fucking butt pubs. That's right. Yup. You know I got them curly, bouncy little things. What are they called? Tendrils? What are they called? The things that come off of

Hasidic guy's heads? Yeah. My heart hole is Hasidic. The way I'd be rubbing sheets all over it. Whoa! Stop. That's crazy. That is a fan named Adam Schlong sent in a...

Adam Schlong certified H.O. And Avid Extreme Outdoorsman sent a photo of somebody injecting meth into a vagina. I bet that feels really good, though. Yeah, probably. He also posted a picture of him, his penis next to a butt. And him injecting meth intoxic. Oh.

That's crazy. What's the last picture? Oh, it's him putting meth in his penis. Do you think that feels, it's got to feel so good. It probably feels really bad for a second. Yeah, probably burns. There's a comment here from Tristan Constantine.

Yeah. There's a comment here from Tristan Constantine that says, damn, you two have my attention. How the hell you get dope in those veins? I would love to see that in video. Hell, I would pay money to see them from the beginning to when I both come. Here's another question from a fan. This is another thought-provoking one.

What if I pull my wiener through my balls and call it a donut? And this has no answer, so I'm going to need you guys to answer this one. template of feather in my hat and call it macaroni. Yeah. I like it's, I like what if. I like how open-ended. What if? Yeah. So what if? I think maybe you might change the world,

my young friend. Yeah. Here's an idea so powerful. It's gonna, it's Steve Jobs level powerful. Yeah. That idea will cure your cancer. What if I pulled my wiener through my balls and I called it a donut? The I donut. Yeah.

Yeah. It's mine. Mm-hmm. And one more thing. And one more thing. What if I put my wiener through my balls and I called it a donut? Just everyone at the keynote just clapping. Tim Cook is like comes out and hugs in.

They get Johnny Ives in the fucking... I heard that was... First we started with a weaner, right? I heard that was what killed him. He put his... Making the donut. The donut. The donut? He thought the donut and next step is the donut. Johnny Ives is just just

there's like just perfect close up shots of just like a ball sack with it and then the dick just like flies underneath it slow motion yeah this is an urgent question this one just came into the inbox this is really important so i need you guys to answer really fast uh my wife keeps sucking my thing every two days what do i do hit her you said answer real fat i don't know gave her my credit card damn damn that's right here's an answer from Oliver pickup composer 2014 to president

That's a sick ass fucking name You should go to the police immediately Why you ask? Because if you refer to your penis as your thing Then you are clearly not an adult Far too young to have a wife Ergo she is sexually assaulting a minor Not good

Hey here's my impression on that I can fucking guy Ergo Bitch Ergo Ergo's up my ass Yeah that's right Yeah she blows into my ass I found an interesting

Somebody made an email group On the yeah And it's called Farts and the description is I'm looking for more teens into fart kinks and has one member it's KJ Copperhead and this

and this person made two posts one is I'm looking for a M or F who gets turned on by pooping forts and their second post or email is I'm looking for someone who has attracted the forts

please get back with me who thinks sports are sexy please text me forts so somebody wants to just like get a a potential partner over get a bunch of pillows make a fort in the living room or it's a fortnight player maybe. I don't think I think it maybe is about farts.

No I think it's forts. It would say farts if it was about farts. That's a good point. Yeah, I actually also have found an email group that a fan is made called peeing pants lovers and here's a comment there's a question from a fan that's in the peeing pants lovers group that's asking Is it okay for me to wet my shorts

If I really can't hold it in any longer And they've attached a lot of pictures That's good Or the answer has The answer says Yes I think it is okay I'm waiting for my diapers to come So I thought I would put on a pair of my training pants

And a pair of shorts and wet a little Well I failed I'm soaked But it felt great And there's a lot of pictures here If you guys want to check him out This person has a really cool body type Holy shit Look at that back

He looks like Joaquin Yeah, it looks exactly like Joaquin and the joke. It looks exactly like it, dude. Yeah. I have a question here from a fan. We need to be answering these questions, by the way. These people can't. We're jumping over.

We'll answer this one. Is it okay to pit? Yes. Yeah, of course. Of course. If you can't hold it in, who's going to fuck it's your own penis at your own shorts? If you can hold it in sometimes, it's okay too. Yeah.

Just let it go. Here's one that needs to be answered urgently. no one someone they they this fan prefers to remain anonymous okay they sent in this question why does my uncle dig in his ass and smell it simple answer because it just feels right yeah there's a um there's an answer here from uh clint carl for retired former retired entrepreneur which means he's an entrepreneur he's formerly retired yeah he's back in the game they pulled him right when he thought he was out. Yeah, this must have pulled him out of the game because this is in two, he was

1983 to 2009. Oh, wow. He's a former retired entrepreneur. He said, because he has a deep-seated anal retentive needs that were never met as a one-month-old baby. His caregivers most likely, products of their own parents' depressive drug-ridden environment, had a comorbid polyd drug and substance abuse and undiagnosed mental health disorders.

They were never brought out in his part of the family's lineage, and it began a self-perpetuating generation and cycle of maladaptive behaviors, thus leading each new offspring to be neglected and not properly potty trained, and rarely had his diapers change. So when he grew up and landed in a foster care family, they actually cared for him and helped the boy overcome his anxiety, and he became unable to handle the stress of life. It could find a part-time job Utilize newfound ways of self-care And could afford underwear And habits begin to change His ass-dgging habit And smelling it was likely a remnant

Of his early memories of his neck You didn't need to do any more In the first sentence of this one Here's the thing, big guy It smells good Your butt smells good Everybody knows your butt smells good Hopefully you are not calling him scratch and sift

No seriously maybe his anus is itching And he needs to check and see if his butt stinks Who doesn't like to smell their own butt? It's cool to do it. Everyone loves their own butt smell. Here's an important question from a listener that we need an answer to. No answers yet. Can bread oil regrow my thing?

I think it can. I'm guessing that they meant to say beard oil. So if by thing they mean a hair that they have, then maybe. I'm reading it says it's written. I think they're talking about bread oil and I think they're talking about their downstairs thing. Yeah, their downstairs thing fell off. It rolled in the store. And I think they're trying to use bread oil.

Yeah, it might work, I guess. The oil that they give you at, like, a restaurant to dip bread in. It's got balsamic vinegar in oregano. Yeah, that might work. I want to, this is from Truthfinder. I want to sit on my boyfriend's face and fart on it. How do I approach this? And then here's just one answer.

Somebody did this. Or somebody has a good strategy. sit on his face while he's eating your pussy. When you get ready to come, let it rip. That way, you can say he did such a good job eating your small pussy that you blew him a kiss. It always works for my wife when she farts while I'm eating her pussy.

Ew. I blew you a kid. Can you imagine that? Just like getting farted on your chin? Ugh. Gross. Well, I have an important question from a fan. a mother, actually, a fan of the show and a mother,

that maybe you can shed some light on Patrick. This motherly fan asks us, why does my son keep my undies in a box? You have any insight on this one? No, I don't. It's because your son's a freak. Your son's a weird freak. Maybe, I mean, maybe the son's putting the undies in the box

to protect them from the underwear ferrets. From underwear perverts. I was thinking of a magical creature. Like SpongeBob and Mr. Crabbs. This may be a question that the son asked. That woman's son, our fan, I think they asked, can you tell me why haters take so much pleasure in hurting people? I fucking hate haters, dude.

I actually love haters. I do. I hate haters, but I love my haters. I love my haters. I have a shirt from DGK that says this. They're my motivators. I love haters because they motivate me to be a better person and basically do all awesome, do incredibly dope shit, kick incredibly dope shit.

Do you kick dope shit to your haters and they get mad, icy at it? Yes. Yeah. Do you know what I hate more than haters? Suck emcees? Suck emcees and herbs. Oh, dude. I hate herbs.

Oh, dude, the only time I won a herb is 11 of them. That's right. 11 of them on a... And maybe some spices, brother. Uh-huh. 11 herbs and spices. spices in my damn. But I hate them herbie-ass haters.

Uh-huh. I just saw a picture of this one. Oh, my God. I did not open the answers of this question. He's crying. He's crying. This fan made Cameron cry.

That I picked because the question is, how can I make someone to be my slave? Holy false answer. Dude. The answer is from Kimberly. That lady's not doing well. You need to find a person like me, and if I am as you desire, then I submit to your training and allowing myself to be brainwashed until all I am and will ever be as a slave.

Good luck in your search, Kim. And then it's a picture of the penguin from the Tim Burton Batman. She looks exactly like the penguin. She has black lips. It's Uncle Fester and a wig. Well, I wish both of them all the best of luck. Can you get me, I think the office needs a slave. I think we should hire her as a slave.

We'll get Kimberly did. Well, I do actually have some, if we're looking for a slave, I have some good news from, I have a question here that might be relevant. Is it true? This is from a fan even. It's very nice to the fans to kind of predict that we might be looking for a slave.

Is it true that if you tell someone Be my slave, they become your slave right away as if it were a magic incantation? Be my slave. Whoa. Be my slave. Be my slave.

Be my slave. We had a Mexican slave off. Awesome. A Mexican slave off. Sick. So we all are each other. So how does this work then? We can't boss.

We can't even boss each other around anymore. Bad news, guys. George Sawyer says, George Soros. George Sawyer says this is complete nonsense. It is not true at all. If it were that easy, there would be armies of slaves out there.

That's what, well, George Soros is using a fake name so that people don't know that it's him and two. He's only saying that so people don't know, catch on to his mind control. Well, that's what he does with everyone. He makes everyone his slave. And he doesn't want a secret to get a, out. Is it rude that my boyfriend put his naked ball sack on my head while I was sitting

down and not looking? No. It's certainly rude. It's not rude, but it's not unwelcome. And Steve says, people are getting so offended now. Dot, dot, dot. I have a ball sack related question for the fan. I got quite a couple ball sack ones. Let me throw this one in there real quick. And then we can maybe do a ball sack lightning around. There's this thing on my nuts. that is blue and is, like, going into the nut sack, but I can't get it out. It's kind of sticking out. What is this, and is it bad? It's blue.

It's blue. Blue is, that's the scariest color for something to be like, growing out of your nutstack. You have, like, necrosis of your balls. This person says, what should I do with my ball sack smells like salt and vinegar? And Marco says, make a salad, L-O-L. Oh, make a salad with... Here's one. I'm not going to get into the answers, but this is good, I think, for us. What changed in your life after becoming a martial artist?

Just the way people looked at me. I would say it saved my life. Yeah, yeah. Because I would say... My mental health was... I would say personally, I have heart failure, idiopathic, dilated cardiomyopathy, plus an extreme number of irregular heartbeats, as you guys know. So this diagnosis means I have a life expectancy of six to eight years,

and the diagnosis was made 18 years. ago when I was six years old, yeah. I take the pills that are prescribed and I have a pacemaker and I practice Tai Chi basically every day. And I'm convinced that a large number amount of credit goes to Tai Chi for keeping me alive. I doubt that I will ever get into a fight because who would want to pick a fight with a gray-haired overweight person who is obviously over 75? That's me. But I'm winning the fight for my life. Good for you, man. Thank you. I actually think becoming a martial artist actually changed my mental health. You might think it was for the better, but it actually changed it for the worst

because now I walk around and I see everybody on the street and I think I can kill this person with a single punch and it makes me depressed and anxious thinking about my power. That's a good point. Yeah.

I just use it for chopping wood. Just, you know, if I don't have an axe handy. Going out to the cabin and just smashing your head against logs. And then like getting a concussion hallucinating that you've chopped all the wood. this next question from a fan it was

let me just get into it let me just get into it let me just say it I want to have sex with my maid but I'm scared I'm young and muscular will my maid agree should I start masturbating or flashing my dick in front of her and there was an answer here from Daniel but he deleted it

oh oh Daniel got in trouble so that led me that led me to find a man named Steele Rod. It's related answers, Steel Rod. And he's created a judgment-free space for anybody of age

called picks slash tips for jerkoff fantasies Desi Plus Bollywood. And there's three questions in here. None of them are answered. This is a fan of the show, Steel Rod. I didn't come for the last nine days. Can anyone help me come with their picks or DMs?

And which of these non-Indian celebs turns you on the most? This, real quick, I just, I want to read this one. This is from an anonymous fan. They say, can I open my ball sack like a bag of chips? And then someone responds, it depends. And that answer is from Spider-Man. I have a question here. Is it possible to get a girlfriend using magic?

Yes. Yes. I would say yes. I have a few answers here. This one is from Joshua George, which I think... That's a great name. This sounds like this might be his personal story of his life, but he says, learn magic, get Gouda at it. Go to an orphanage, put on show.

Ask the sweet old lady running the orphanage to be your girlfriend. Yep. Wow. And I have another answer here that's more of like life wisdom. Okay. From Dresswamy, Vaidyanathan, Chandra Sikar, born in Tamil Nadu, and worked in many places all over India. So, experienced, knows a lot about life. Don't use magic, use logic.

Magic will mislead you to think that the GF is out of this world and disappoint you. Logic will make you accept her as she is, as no one is perfect. Magic will jack your expectations sky high, only to bring you down to Earth later in a crash. Logic will keep you grounded and stable. Damn. Logic is basically a kind of magic. Logic is, like, better than magic, I think. All right.

You're thinking logically. How can I get a blowjob from my mom? And Nicola Green, who's a fan of the show. Acklead is a mom of two, says, and now it's wrong with a blowjob. And then related questions, this one doesn't have any answers, but it's for you guys. If your son said he was feeling stressed out

and then took out his penis and asked you to suck it, would you? No. But he's stressed. Okay, if he's stressed. He's like, he's, he's, not until he gets his chores done. Okay. All right. All right, listen.

Your son, picture this. Your son's straight, straight days. Uh-huh. His entire life, right? You've been putting him in special schools. Like, he's, like, straight A's at like that. So my special son is stressed. Your son is special.

But he gets straight A's, right? Uh-huh. And he comes to you and he, He gets an A-minus, right? And he, like, is about to break down when he hands you the report card. And he's like, dad. Dad.

Dad. Dad. The reason why... It's failing in school. The reason why he's so stressed. Son, I'll suck your dick. Well, Bobby. God damn it, Bobby.

Get that dick over here. Dang it, Bobby. Pull out your penis and let me suck it. So, yeah, that's an answer then. It's a yes. It's a yes. If your son's stressed out, If your son is Bobby Hill and your Hake Hill.

Yeah. It's a good group. You might be a redneck. Yeah, I feel like it's a good reason, though. Yeah. Here's a question from a... So this is from a fan who I think started to write. One question and then realized how it had sounded and kind of changed courses in the middle of it,

but I think we all know what's really going on here. Okay. But this is from a fan of the show. I need some dark and torturous commands to have my slave do. In this new story I'm writing, can someone put... help with fresh ideas. What is... Look at this one.

Oh, man. What is that? This one is what does it look like to suck a penis? Well, I'd say kind of like this, and it's just a woman who has a... That's a burdo. Yeah. Sucking a penis.

This person says, what would you do if someone walked up to you, touch your private parts below your pants and walked away? And Priya Matthew, as a Ph.D. from Bangalore University says he would be sorry he ever did such a thing to me. Kind of a samurai answer. Yeah.

Here's a question here from a fan I've just talked about steel rod. Steel rod, well, this is a question. There's a question from a fan, Harley Quinn FC, which I can only imagine stands for Football Club. You have to, yeah. Harley Quinn Football Club. How can I seduce my maid slash servant to have sex with me? and I didn't realize Steelrod's accolade is that they fapped a ton

and they say that I picked up her phone once and saw she had porn in one of the Chrome tabs asked her about it and the rest is history. This is the last one that I had in my section of the inbox for the advice column. This is a fan who wrote in and asked

what does it like to have sex with you and somebody's already answered Barnard Handelow Has answered Who's accolated is professional guy Has answered You know he's laying fucking crazy I mean yeah

That name is a professional guy Sex with me is great I give you toe curling orgasm With my massive schlong And then I deposit ample quality quantity of hot spooge onto your body Whereest ever thou likest

That'st It's pretty good Yeah. I just got one more. Sure. I have one more after this. Nicola Bjork. I'm 15 years old, and I just cumbed.

Is there a question mark after that? It's just a statement? It's a statement. Okay. That's great. So I, so this question was sent in, but I think there's a, like a question, another question under it to kind of like, you know, I think. they kind of regretted saying this. This question is from anonymous fan.

They said, what is the most inappropriate thing a cousin has done to you? So they start to try to start the question here, get the conversation go and start the discourse. And then an ad by the penny hoarder immediately under that says, what are the biggest money secrets that rich people keep from us? The trick is to start a podcast. you make a lot of money.

You make a million dollars. I'm kind of an appropriate thing a cousin did. Won't say. No thank you. Yep. All right. Thank you guys for sending in all the questions. Yeah, we love you guys.

Go to some family therapy sessions, a lot of you, definitely. And we have to announce. Yep. Oh, yep. We're adding another show in Los Angeles and all ages show to our tour. And all of the people. and a show in San Francisco. I don't remember the dates, but they'll be on the website.

Along with tons of really fun games. Well, with lots of HTML 5 games. Swagpoop.com slash shows. Swagpoop.com slash haunted dash house. Swagpoop.com slash squirrel dash bubble dash shooter. Swagpoop.com slash kings dash gold. Check all that out. Yeah. Christmas dash mystery.

You don't want a chickie check that. So the All Ages show will be at the L.Sid in Los Angeles on May 20th. in the San Francisco show. I don't know if that's all ages. That will be on May 22nd at Amadoes. Sick. All right. See you there.

Bye. Bye.