Podcast About List - Ep. 192 - Cartmans Friend

Episode Date: May 4, 2022

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Come in, come in, come in, and we see a butt. All accounts to the ball list. You're really crap monster. Bonana, oh la la. Bidoo, bidoo, bidoo, baudo, bidoo, baudo, bauda, bauda, bauda, bauda, bauda, bauda, bonana, oh, la la la. Bidoo Bidoo Bidu Bona. Bidu Bona. Bidu Bona. B Bona. Okay, now do Young Thug's part in Minion. How does it go?

I don't know. I'm young thug and I'm here to say Bidu Bona. In a rapping way. It's a rapping way. Why did they get rid of that? They're kind of rap. They need to bring it back. That's what's going to come back next.

That was my... Because I saw a video the other day. It's like two live crew on the Phil Donahue show and it's like them. giving up on doing the censored version of their song halfway through and like what were they saying before i don't remember it's a it's like some it's the song that fucking face down ass up right that's their i think so it's the one about going to a hotel and shooting a load on a woman's face but it's like the same delivery it's the same flow as like run dmc so it's like i'm gonna take a girl to a hotel and i'm gonna make the whole room smell like that's cool yeah dude it was actually like two live

crew's so sick like current like what what you rap about currently but in that in the in the roemc style that's cool i'm drinking all this lean in my room i hope my mom doesn't come in with a broom she's gonna hit you nailed it i know so many rappers are talking about their mom's Coming in with brooms. Their mom rappers are like, oh, I'm doing all this drugs at my mom's house. I was just going to come in and hit me with a corn broom. Yep. Yeah.

Yep. I'm sitting in my room doing a perk 30. I hope my mom doesn't come get mad because it's dirty. Yep. That's what they do. Yeah. I'm smoking all this weed in my car. Here comes my mom with a candy bar.

Yep. Yeah. I hate what my mom looks in when I'm rapping. And then you have those like those like videos on Facebook where it's like a white guy. And it's like this rapper rips the mic without making fun of his mom once. He doesn't, he's not even a little bit scared of his mom coming into the room. I'm not even scared of my mom. Rappers nowadays talking about their mom.

Rivers nowadays, they're all talking about their mom. It's a hops and song. These days, every rapper talks about their mom. Talks about their mom and their broom. Not me. I wake up at noon, ready for lunch. Here comes my mom. I love her a bunch.

No, it's supposed to be their make, they're mad. Their mom comes in with a broom and they're mad at their mom. No, this is the white boy on Facebook. No, the white boy wouldn't rap like that, though. He wouldn't rap like that. No, white boy. His white rap is about being fast. Yeah, come the mom.

She's going to give him a kiss is going to give him a bunch of kisses and because white guys when they rap they have to like they're like I have to prove that I'm the fastest rapper

yeah when they rap I'm getting a bunch of kisses for my mom and I'm going to I love my mom. That's what he would say that's a website

that I started for my mom and I think she really is the bomb and I will not use a bomb on my mom and my mom and my mom and my mom

and my mom and my mom and my mom it's one of those videos where it's like fastest white rapper it's just a video of a guy rapping

and then he just runs so he's in front of the camera and he's like I don't know it's Doppler effect, like you can't even hear. He's not, he's not rapping fast. He's just going, I can't run so very fast. My name's Caleb and I'm here to say right now I will run away. And they just run.

That's just rapper in the world. You want to see me do it again? Yeah, man. Yeah, I do. I do want to see you do it again. Do you guys want to see me run around the end? entire world. We have a fly problem and there's a fly on my mic.

There's a fly on my mic. Yeah, what I wouldn't give to be a fly. I just heard the, um, the fly in my soup joke. Well, you're finally heard. You're going to move your phone or something. Something's going on. What's going on? I don't know.

Something's going on. None. What's going on? None. Is it good now? I don't know. We'll find out. Okay.

Um, I heard that, I heard the whole thing for the first. first time what's the fly in the suit the original one it's like uh i don't you know what's what's this fly what is this fly doing in my soup uh i believe that's the backstroke that's that's the original one that's the original one you think that's the original one i think that's a far side one of the ones joke yeah probably is that one of the ones i mean i think i mean it's like saying like i feel like it's like i heard the first song the other day i've never what do you guys tis there am i heard a bunch of flying soup jokes but i don't know if i would consider one of them there's i don't know it's one of those things you're

reading like a joke book or from your grandpa or something. My grandpa didn't... My grandpa was talking about no damn fly in his suit. Yeah. He's like, there's a Mexican... Like, waiter, there's a soup in my fly. There's a soup on my fly.

That could be funny. Yeah. Yeah. Waiter, I'm going to go to the bathroom and make soup out of my fly. Hey, waiter, there's a Democrat in my soup. What's he doing? He's being on welfare in there. Yeah.

He's being corrupt. Yep. He's in there getting abortions and being on welfare. Maybe it's like, yeah, maybe it's like, yeah, maybe it's like, oh, uh, uh, uh, uh, probably being gay. I don't fucking know. Probably sucking another... Making my son. What about, yeah?

What if he's like in another Democrat's fucking cock, he's also in your soup? Waiter, there's a fly on my soup. And then he's like, oh, my friend, that's not a fly. That's a Kenyan. That's not your soup. He's in the Oval Office. That's right. Mm-hmm.

Yep. Yep. Yep. He was born. He was born... Listen, he was born in Africa. That's, it's fine. It's okay, but it's still true.

It's okay, dude. Yeah. Nobody's saying it's a... Nobody's saying it's a bad thing. Nobody is. I don't know why everybody gets all mad. I think it's cool. We have African king as a president still.

Still. Joe Biden. Joe Biden was born in Kenya. Yeah, he was, dude. Yeah. I'll tell you, I was born. I'm sure out of the dark continent. This is me.

Joe Biden. Let me tell you something. He was a baby that got brought in the expedition from like heart of darkness. He just got left there for 300 years. That'd be so funny if it was like. Joe Biden was like I was born in Rhodesia I mean hold on

Delaware Delaware I think about I remember growing up in in in Delaware I had a big bone through my nose I just did oh come on

I had rings on my neck see my neck no so long I stretched that with rings no Joe I do you have that I did never mind

there's no photos There's one photo. There's no photos. There's a painting. It's just a painting. It's presidential portrait. Dude, that'd be so funny. I was a warlord in Rhodesia.

I remember... I remember coming up, we used to... We used to... One of our favorite things to eat was that one Rockefeller kid that went missing. We used to munch on him for lunch. Man, that'd be stuff like Joe. how they like Obama's presidential portrait everyone got mad at because it's like came in front of Obama because it's too cool there was a bunch of bad ones though they're all

bad every presidential portrait looks like shit I thought the Obama was kind of cool the Obama was on with leaves right yeah yeah that one looks cool can't show leaves that one looks cool but it's kind of like I don't know it's like tumbler like nowadays can't show leaves Tumblr Obama edits you guys remember those remember the Obama fandom a tumbler no oh man dude the Obama fandom on Tumblr was crazy. They would ship Obama and Biden. Oh, I kind of remember.

I remember we're like seeing poster people who'd be like, I'm making that a little, but if you did actually see shit, that's crazy. No, not like shipping them, but I would just, you know, you would always see those posts that were like them like, like Joe Biden and it would be like writing like dialogues between

Joe Biden and Obama. Oh Biden. Oh, Biden. He hated Joe Biden, though. Yeah, well, no, yeah, but people would always, people would always write like, make it like, like Joe Biden. I keep saying, oh Biden. Joe Biden would.

would, uh, would, uh, would say like a pun to Obama and Obama be like, come on, Joe. Yeah. And that would be the, it would be like, I would read the ones where it's like, you got your finger in my, you got your finger in my mouth, Barack. Why don't you should put, how about you go and put, put, put, put, put, put, put, uh, think, put, uh, thing, put, uh, your penis in my, in my, in my, in my, I don't know, I don't, I, do it for my, I'm going to do it for my country.

I'm a necklace made of fingers. I had a necklace I was The base claw from Black Panther off me Okay So Cameron can say necklace made of fingers And I can't say bone through nose Correct

How is that different? How is that different? That's way different That's way worse He said necklace made of fingers Let him have it This could be a lizard bone You can't say that

Lizards don't have bones That's a lie Lizards don't have bones Lizards don't have bones Yeah I'm fucking down And the plus there could be Lizard fingers

Yeah And it could be Plastic fingers Could be a plastic bone It could not be a plastic It could not be a plastic bone It could not be a plastic bone How?

You don't know You never worn a bone in your nose I have Oh you wore a bone through your nose I wore a bone through my nose And big rings on my neck Yeah And why did you do that

Because I was being racist I was being so racist That's okay I guess All right Yeah I feel defeated Yeah At a castle

It looked like the castle It looked like the castle From Monty Python Now I went I went to Wakanda I think I think I went I

I It's And I saw I I went to Philadelphia I went Yeah, I think that's what it was Yeah

That's where He says I went to Wakanda I know one of his aides Whispers in his ears And he's like, Philadelphia I went to Wakanda Famous for the Cream Cheese

I saw Liberty Bell and Wakanda I saw I got I went to Gino's And then I went to pets I went to Pats again, and then I went to Gino's again. I kind of just kept, I forgot which one had my order.

He should, they should do Crazy Frog with Joe Biden. Yeah. I think that would honestly, he does crazy frog when he tries to say any word. If they did have a video with Crazy Frog in the Oval Office, with Joe Biden be like, I'm here with my good friend's crazy frog. Yep, that would break the internet. Yeah, that would one break the TV club, if you're listening to this, get on it. You say the AAVE club?

Yeah. Mm-hmm. I mean, not. Mm-hmm. Why would you? I was already, I already said, mm-hmm, before he said that. What's going on? Nothing's going on, dude.

What is going on with you? I accidentally... Did you guys see that video of Joe Biden where he's like, it was a recent one where I feel like we haven't got that many, we got a bunch of good ones at first. We haven't got that many good ones recently. But there was a good one recently where it's like, like, America, in one word. He said, like, five words after he stuttered, too. He's the best, dude.

He's awesome. I've been listening to a lot of Rogan, and, dude, Joe's, Joe's tearing. Rogan Jai ordered a lot of Rogan Josh, because I'm fat. What? What? I went there. I'm so fat, and I love to fuck.

I don't even know what. What? I'm being Amy Schumer right now. Oh, Amy Schumer. And I'm a woman. Amy Schumer doesn't love to fuck. she fucking hates it. Yeah, she hates fucking.

Didn't she finger a cab driver? No, I think her vagina's like medically small. What did? Yeah, I believe that. But didn't, like, there's a whole thing. It's like a really big problem in Hollywood. Wasn't there like a story that broke or something? I believe that.

It's like a serious. I heard she was raised in the Congo. Yeah. She was raised in Rhodesia too. Yeah. She was one of the white Rhodesian settlers like Joe Biden. and there was nothing in her nose at all. No, I heard she was a war war.

She did get box braids though. Yep, and that was fucked up. Yeah, that was weird. That was weird. I heard she ate 50 children. Wasn't there, there's like a whole thing where it's like, Amy Schumer's like, I made a cab driver finger me. Or is there a whole thing of that? It was like a whole thing of that.

Really? She's, I feel like I hadn't heard about her in so long. And then she hosted the office. She hosted the Oscars now. She has a Hulu show coming out. They play an ad between it. On every ad break where I'm watching Always Sunny, they play. Man, they got to put her in a cage.

It's so fun that how bad Hulu shows are now that they can't even make the trailer look good where they'll try, it'll be a comedy show and the only jokes that are in the trailer are someone being like, so this just got weird. And it's just like just 50 clips in a row of people saying that. Yeah. No disrespect to Amy Schumer as a comedian,

but she needs to be completely treated like a King Kong style animal and putting a cage. And every special should just be her in a cage going, banging on the, on the bars and stuff. But no disrespect isn't immediately. And then people, people dressed up like the 1920s in the audience pointing and laughing on, don't be afraid. It's just the fattest woman in the world. It's a hysterical woman. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Also, she should have to wear different outfits. Yeah. Yep. And also,

she did a whole special where she's like, I'm wearing a leather suit. Here's a great special for Amy Schumer. Okay. It's a, it's a medical. From the bottom of the well. It's a medical operating theater. We're from the bottom of the well. Why would you interrupt my story? Go ahead. After you said, I have a special idea for a show.

It's a medical operating theater, right? And it's 150 people in a theater in the round. And doctors are just taking off her legs. That'd be a really good special. Here's a special idea for her. The All You Can Eat Special. 899. Yep.

And she's on like, is it like, is it like, a naked sushi thing, but it's like Golden Corral food. There's a big pot of gravy. Yeah. Yeah. She's the plate and it's just like, it's like a kid's

charcutory board. It's like Reese's cups. And telly meats. Yeah. Like turns luncheble's turkey. Intamin's like donuts shit all over. There's still a big bowl of gravy. Yeah.

It goes in her belly button. Oh man. Can you imagine smelling her belly button? Yeah. I heard that in the new Star Wars movie

she's gonna play Jabba the Hut's wife. Really? Yeah, she's not a hut or anything. She's gonna play his wife. Yeah. I heard her.

I hate fucking Jabba the Hut. Yeah, so that's her line. Yeah, Job of the Hut's dick is very weak. He's got weak. Dick game weird. Dick game fat and weird.

He's like literally a giant ball of slime. He's literally, literally a garbage. He's a serious garbage pale kid. He's literally, he's literally a fat slug. But he's not as disgusting as my very small pussy. Or my ex. Oh.

Yeah. I mean, seriously, Yoda can't even get his pinky up here. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And we tried. Yoda's pinkie's big. Pinky wouldn't go in my tiny ass. Yoda's, if the Yoda's not of a bigger penis.

Than a human pinkie. If Yoda's pinky was a penis, that would be a huge penis. What are you talking about? Yoda is tiny. His pinky is huge. Okay, I get what you're doing here, but it doesn't work because we're talking about hands, and you have a hand that everyone can see. Yoda has a hand in up his butt. It controls him.

What? And he doesn't? You know how they originally wanted Yoda to be a monkey in a costume? I wish they did that. That would be so sad. They were going to put a monkey in a full costume. Yeah. Imagine how fucking terrifying it would be.

It would be so cool. Still with Yoda's voice, but it's just like cutting, like, cutting, like, like, like, There's so many scenes cut. Different clips of just like a monkey running at a crew member just over and over again. Every time they cut Toyota, he's running directly at the camera. That'd be so sick. Frank Oz is trying to like do the ADR or whatever. They just spray painted a monkey.

That would have been cool. I think that they should have to castrate all actors like they do monkey actors. I agree. Yeah. Yeah. They castrate monkey actors. Yeah. So Dunstan had, Dunstan couldn't have sex.

Dunstan, yeah, any monkey, well, monkeys that are in movies that either have to castrate them or they will attack all the women on set. Well, there's that, there's that story of that Robert Downey movie that has the monkey in bed with the girl. Oh, yeah, and the, well, the, didn't the monkey wrangler, wasn't he like, uh... He was like, yeah, for like 20 extra bucks, the monkey will fuck her. Yeah. And the girl was like, okay, I'm down. And Robert Downy Sr. had to be like, no, you can't fuck this monkey for $20. Yeah, monkeys can

I've definitely talked about before There's a movie with a baboon where the They couldn't have any Crew members that were on their periods Because the baboon could smell it And would attack them I'm serious You know they got a giant boner

They had to airbrush it out of the movie Yeah Wait, it got a boner from a period It would know, it just constantly had a boner But it literally yeah That's what happens if you don't If you don't castrate a monkey actor No fucking way.

I'm serious. The movie's called Shackma. Shachma? Shachma. I want to see that boner. Yeah, pull out the monkey's boner. Let's see it here. Is it disgusting?

Here's the baboon. And it's just like, and in the movie you can tell it's just like genuinely a, like, it's like a horror movie. So it's like runs at doors and stuff. And it's just like actually, like it goes like, grr and like tries to rip the door open and stuff. It's really scary. Oh, so it's about the monkey being evil. Yeah. Oh, my God.

Bad boons are terrifying. Yeah, dude. They're really scary. I mean, all monkeys are scary. I don't fuck with baboons at all. No, I saw baboons doing something very bad at the zoo to a little baby baboon. Oh, my God. I thought you were going to say it to a baby.

Yeah, well, too, yeah, a baby. What did they do to them? No, like a human baby. Uh, they did something. One of them did a bad thing to a baby, baboon. A big baboon and a baby baboon. Wait, you saw this? Balloo.

At a zoo? Yeah. You saw a baby baboon get attacked by that? Well, I didn't get it. Yeah, I saw an adult male baboon rape a baby male baboon at the zoo in front of a bunch of kids. I never told you that before. That was what zoo was that? That might have been, what zoo was that?

That could have been the zoo here. I'm trying to remember when that was. Central Park Zoo? It wasn't Chicago because it was just me and it must have been here. Maybe it was, it might have been a Prospect Park Zoo. Do they have baboons? I don't, I've never been to any zoo here. It might have been to Chicago. I don't fucking remember. I've been to too many damn zoos. You went to a zoo and, they chased it down and, yeah.

Jesus, great. And there were kids watching and the parents were like, ah, ha, ha, you're sure it was a baby. Yeah, you can tell if it's a baby. You can tell. Did it have a diaper on? It was a baby. It was a tiny baby baboon. I choose to believe it was a small girl. It was not a girl. Or a young man Why would you choose to believe that

You can just You can erase the Yeah You don't even see it You can visualize it as a cartoon And it doesn't exist You can choose to believe That none of this happened

And I'm making it up Actually I choose to believe That it was two babies now Because you guys Because you guys tried to talk me out of it Man I went to the I think when I The first month I lived here

No Yeah Yeah The couple weeks into me Living here I went to the Bronx Zoo By myself zoo rocks dude it was cool but it's like i went on a saturday and it was like all like families

and shit and i was just like oh there's like yeah like we're the hot page unless i bought like a unless i bought like a fast pass like there's no way i'd see any of the cool animals i did see a red panda for the fast pass you got a fast pass for a line to see the animals there's like cool exhibits like the coolest exhibits you'd have to wait in line for like hours. Damn, I've never been to a zoo like that. Dude, the Bronx Zoo gets packed. The Chicago Zoo is free,

and if any of the zoos here were free, I would just go, like, twice a month probably. Dude, I saw the coolest... I saw a giraffe in person for the first time. Dude, the zoo's sick. That was so cool. I only like... We saw iPod monkeys.

Yeah. What was that mean? I mean, I can't... Well, really? No, I made that up. I can't go to the zoo. Oh, man. Dude, what the hell?

Really? You just made that up? Yeah. I can't go to the zoo without... We saw treadmill monkeys. Really? No. Dude, stop! This is at the Chicago Zoo.

We saw lightsaber monkeys at the Chicago Zoo. I don't believe that. Okay, it's good because it's not true. Okay. But you can't say iPod monkeys. We saw polar bear. Really? No.

I saw a white monkey. There was no polar bear. There's white monkeys. I saw white monkeys. Really? No. Okay. Well, there are white monkeys.

Yeah. Yeah. There's albino monkeys. We saw flying monkeys. Really? No. I saw a green monkey. Really? Bugger zoo

Really? You know We saw 100 Giraffes Oh my god Really? No we saw it too I can't go to the zoo

If like my mom asks me what I'm doing And I tell her I'm at the zoo She fucking says that rocky quote at me She's like Oh retards love the zoo And it ruins the whole zoo day for me Because then it's like

It ruined it for me On that day Because I was like Yeah I'm really at the zoo Alone right now At the zoo alone is cool I'm really at the zoo by myself.

I'm a full grown man at 23. Don't let your mom fucking talk shit to you, dude. What? Yeah, that's kind of pathetic. You're letting your mom get to you? I didn't get to me. I just had a moment. I had a moment where I was looking at a lizard

and then I was like, I just, I paid $23 to go to the zoo. We saw wizards at the zoo in Chicago. No. Yes. Really? No. Oh, fuck. I saw a wizard outside of the zoo.

Really? He's outside, though? He was, they weren't letting him in. Why not? He was like a dirt wizard. Damn, really? Yeah. Oh, my God.

He lived in a box. Oh, really? When you're at the Bronx Zoo, did you see the, um, did you see the Frankensteins? I did. They have Frankensteins there? Yeah. Really? I mean, I haven't been there.

I heard they have Frankenstein. Oh my God. That's awesome. Yeah. I saw, uh, you don't want to go during a thunderstorm, though. Okay. Oh, you know, what I did see at the Bronx Zoo was, um, it was just like, I saw all the Rugrats kids at the zoo.

He was like an older man. He was in a, like a, like a, really fat old man he looked like you know the fat biker twins no they ride the tiny they were like four the 200 pound like 300 pound twins and they would ride tiny motorcycles together wario wario and warrior um i saw a guy who looked like one of them uh in the house of mirrors no yo i saw a reptile i saw a reptile what the hell is a war zoo Oh, I got the same ugly monkey. They don't have a house of mirrors at the zoo.

Yeah, they do. No, they don't. They really do. I'm serious. They do. No, they do. No. I saw it there.

I saw a ghost at the Halloween zoo. I saw the best mullet I've ever seen in my life at the Bronx Zoo. Really? A fat old man. Yeah. Fat old redneck guy. I didn't even see one of those in Wilmington. You got to step up down there.

I should have taken you to fucking Lumberton. Lumbleton. Mm-hmm. that's real it's a real place Lumberton Yep It's an hour

Outside of Wormington Yep And everyone there Has a mullet Whoa Yep Every single person in the whole Seriously?

Yeah Do they have barbecue there? They got barbecue Yeah They got it all over What town's next to it? Next to Lumbleton

Yeah what borders it Syracuse stop why it's it was him hitting his foot right here oh my god you need to chill dude I thought that was

dude I thought there was a bomb in here a ticking time bomb I thought there was a ticking time bomb in here you ruined me talking about we don't have to talk about it anymore I'm sure you guys don't care border Lumberton like what towns are around

surround it Syracuse Syracuse okay yeah Syracuse North Carolina Cincinnati Okay Uh-huh.

Yeah. And Farm-Fournville. I have been to Farmville. I have a cousin who works there. At Farmville? You have a cousin who works in Farmville. Yeah. That's where the Krusty Krab is.

The Krusty Krab is in Farmville. Farmville, Farmville, North Carolina, beautiful place. Uh-huh. Yep. Beautiful place. Seriously. Uh, horrifying history. Yeah, really, the racist history of Farmville.

Yeah. It was a, it was actually. The first coup in, actually the second coup. It used to be called Plantationville. Yeah. It's really bad. They changed it to Farmville only two years ago. Yeah, no, it's really bad.

A lot of statues have come down in the past few years. Yeah, they have a statue of Ulessies Hitler. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Joe Farm. Joe Farm, who the town is named after. He was a creator of it. Joe Farm, the creator of Farmville, actually, he was called the slave pun

sure. Yep. He was called Slave Hitler. That was his next name. And that was before Hitler. That's how evil he was. It's because he called them that because he hit them so much. He hittled them a lot.

Yeah. Which is a seriously original kind of. It's a kind of hitting he came up with. It's southern slang. It's like Junebug or like cheer wine or whatever. It's like stuff they make up. It's stuff they make up that doesn't make sense down there because they're all cuffing glue.

We're not huffing glue, okay? We have gin X in our water supply. You have gin in your water supply because you're all alcoholics. Yeah, my dad's damn house. What's up? Yep, New Amsterdam gin. You're in the damn water supply. Now, we have a Teflon byproduct in almost every part of North Carolina's public water.

So you just like, so, like, every, that's why you're so. But you know we got that too. No. Yep. We have. Damn, you wish you did maybe fix all your damn teeth down there. the mom, every mom in North Carolina just gets cancer. Yeah.

Pretty much every single one. Yeah. Because they're addicted to water. The dads are good because they drink beer. Yeah. Yeah. Beer kills the virus. Beer kills every virus.

It's true. The cancer virus. I mean, if you drink, I mean, that's like, neurovirus, cancer virus. People didn't drink water until like the 1700s or whatever. Mostly they were drinking like fermented drinks because it kills the, like, nasty craps in it. They drank it because it was cool.

Hmm? They drank it. because it's cool and delicious. The age of enlightenment was because of caffeine. I didn't know about germs. Everyone started drinking caffeine and was like,

what if we put four wheels on a car? Yeah. We already had a car. We had a three-wheel car. We invented the three-wheel car we were drunk. It keeps falling over.

The slingshot. The Polaris slingshot. It was invented by John T. Ford. That was the first car. And then they were like, that three wheels. It just looked stupid. Yeah.

It kind of looks like, I don't know, a penis. No, it looks like a slingshot, asshole. It looks like a penis, and then you put four wheels on it, looks like a box. Okay, ass hat. No, it looks. Are they expensive?

Polaris slingshot yet. I don't think they are. I think they look expensive, but they're not. They're the most expensive car you can buy. It's like made of plastic. It's terrible. That is the most expensive vehicle in the world. It should be cheaper because it should be cheaper than any four-wheeled car.

Definitely. Yeah, it should be like a price match thing where it's like you can pay three quarters of the price. $15,000 for a polaris slish shot. I would guess that it's We should get a slingshot for the office I'm down Yeah I would love to have one

They're so sick That would be cool We should get an ATV Valerous slingshot We should get a ward hug Okay What else Nothing else

That's all I can think of Sorry You know how much a slingshot is We should get Homer Simpson's car from the show Okay We should get a cheese plate A slingshot S $20,000

Oh that's not that bad $20,000 Brand new? Or used? Brand new. Oh, cool. Oh, also. School.

Oh, school. For like a new car, that's not that expensive, right? I don't know. I've never bought, the most of the car was $1,800. That looks like a twisted metal car. That looks like a hot wheel. That's actually really fucking cool. Yeah.

The Slingshot signature, LE, that is $35,000. We can get that. Let's just do it. Yeah, we can get that. Well, we can go to the, yeah, if we go to. I'm about to carve on of that right now. Washington Avenue, Belleville, New Jersey, which is only 13.5 miles away.

We can just buy one there? We can go to the motorcycle wall. Is it technically a motorcycle? Yeah. Do you have to have a driver's license to drive a slingshot? No, you don't. That's the best part about the Polaris slingshot.

Really? You don't need a license. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Really? No. Oh, you can also buy a Polaris slingshot.

Oh, this is the front. Dude, do you guys remember in like December when there was that guy who would dress up exactly like the Grinch and drive a slingshot around and he did like the full movie makeup he did Grinch and Santa suit that's how yeah he was

and he would go he was committed he was fucking weird it was scary I don't like when guys do stuff like that like what yeah like you're not making money off of this you're just a guy going around like that especially if you're if you're alone if you don't have a guy with you

hold on new Polaris 2021 Polaris slingshot original new on Alibaba da $1,500. What? Let's buy it. Let's send an inquiry.

You have to send an inquiry. $1,500, dude. We're taking that on tour. Quantity needed, how many units I need 500 units? I bet it's a minimum order of like 100. Hi, I'm interested in your product. I would like more details. We could get five of those.

Dude, five slingshots on tour? Yeah. We all. Just a convoy? A convoy of slingshots. You two can't drive. He's driving 90 miles an hour down the highway in a slingshot. I don't think they go very fast.

I think they're really just for like parades. Yeah. They're for looking like the brinch. I'm interested in your product. I would like some more details. I'm going to look on a Facebook marketplace for a slingshot. Send. Sign in with Google. Okay.

I bet they have one on Facebook marketplace, right? They have to. For a Polaris Slinghot? Yeah. Maybe. That's got to be the cheapest place to buy one. I wonder if you get a shit. I feel like it might come in pieces and you have to put it together.

$10,000? Oh, it says, it says, beware. Beware. Beware. What does this mean? I'm guessing that's got 11,000 miles on it. Structural damage. Do you want to buy a structural damage?

Wait, how do you put 11,000 miles on a fucking slingshot, dude? How do you fucking... I mean, I guess if you have a slingshot, you're taking that shit every single. where. Yeah, dude, that's not a thing you like leave in the garage. Oh,

in my brain, you're taking that like down the block. I leave it in the garage and I use it as like a couch. I'm not going to fucking drive that thing around. Let me see if I can sort by lowest price here. I'm going to take that to my office job. Here's one for $1.

Oh my God. Really? I love when they do that on Marketplace. Oh, when they do like in search of. Yeah. Okay, $1, $1. Lots of $1.

Oh, how about this one? Look at this. A Kawasaki Ninja That's the same thing But I'm guessing better Because it's not a fucking Polaris sling show Oh it's just turbo on it

Yeah That was turbo Yeah They need to make more Stupid cars like that Dude we could Yeah We could get this

25,000 What did you want to buy this Mini cup race car Did you guys ever do like A Pinewood Derby or anything No I wish I That seems like fun

My dad did it with my brother when my brother was in like Boy Scouts. My dad was like, we're going to make the wheels on the thing out of pennies. He's like, that's going to work really well. Drill a hole in a penny. And they like, and all the other kids use like fucking little wheels on their thing. My dad was like, we're going to use pennies. And then they started the race and my brother's car just didn't move at all. Why would pennies move?

Listen to this. I just found this when I was looking to buy a slingshot on Facebook. marketplace. 2022, looking for sponsors for five race series. Trying to find sponsors for this race season. Me and possibly my eight-year-old son will both be running a cart at New York Race Complex this summer. Have lots of real estate on the cart for advertising.

Not looking for a lot. Just maybe help with tires. Can do the whole season or just a single race. Would you expect you to purchase your own stickers to put on the cart? Both sides, front back, and helmet space available. Message me if you want to talk about it. What are you saying? A lot of the list on some kids go card.

That's our version of the super mega NASCAR car. Putting on making the kid wear a helmet It says I heart eating shit And then just like Us taking like tons of photos With the kid in the cart Just like you know We swagged up this kid

Swag this kid up We give him like a Sullivan backpack Yeah dude It'd be so awesome Dude Sullivan backpack It's a good idea Shape like a frog Yeah that's what I'm saying

With the arms dangling That's a good idea Oh my gosh Slingshot available for rent Huh? Slingshot available for rent How much? I'll rent one for a week.

It says $250 per what? It just says it's all it says. If it's per day, I'll rent one for one day. Yeah. All booking information can be found on this link. We need to do like a, man, what could we do? We got to have to have a parade. Yeah.

We need to do a parade. The annual book is about this parade. Yeah. Can we try and like, we can do that in New Orleans. We could totally do that in New Orleans. We got to do it in New Hampshire, dude. Yeah. Where we won't get into trouble for trying to shut down a street.

Yeah, we could do that on... We could totally do that on Elm. People, no, people get really pissed off if you did it here, I feel like. People do it all the time. Yeah, yeah. People do parades all the time. Yeah, there's just big brown trucks. We could, there's a good chance at Old Homes Day, Old Homes Day in Londonderry.

That we could get a float? We could probably do a float. Dude, I would do anything to have a float. Yeah. Preferably root beer. Yep, yes, sir. But we'd have to go to fucking. London Derry. I mean, you guys went to that...

I love London Derry. You guys, you saw that that stretch of road before we got to the skate park. It was sick. Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying, yeah. We got to do something like that. That's what I mean. Trees? Huh? There's just trees. No, people come out to see it. No, no, where the Matthew Thornton school is. There's a big parade there every year.

And then there's something... The parades, parade, yeah, parades in like, in, like, New Hampshire, like, Mass, where it's like that. And there's, like, not that many houses are the best, because everyone comes... Yeah, everyone comes to hang out. They all stand on the side of the road And then there's Apple Fest Which is where all like the white rappers And like the kids who had bands in my town

Like did like shows Doing a show at Apple Fest? That big stage with the There's the cannon That's where they all did like shows and stuff We'll do a show at Apple Fest Huge news guys And then I'll get off Facebook marketplace

But you see this dirt bike Uh huh It's on sale Original price $255 dollars Sale price $5997 Oh my gosh

God, what the fuck? That's such a deal. Yeah, I mean, I think we have to order We should order like 10 of them, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's a good idea. They don't do like Segway tours anymore, huh? I would love, I've never written a Segway.

Yeah, he fell off the Grand Canyon. I think he's from Londonderry. Oh, really? Or he lived there or something. That was like, can we go, can we find a Segway tour when we're on tour? I really want to write a segue. I've never written one before.

That was a, I remember that was really a, like, a watershed moment for me as a child. I think, learning that the Segway guy died testing or demonstrating the Segway. And he just fell off the thing. It was really like, it really changed my perspective on a lot of things. Didn't we sign that out on the podcast?

No. We saw Segway Monkeys at the Chicago Zoo. That happened when we were in, like, middle school. Segway monkeys. Wow. What's the Segway Monk? They ride Segways. Really?

No. I think he was from Portsmouth. I don't know. Anyway, the list today is the 40 Star Wars pickup lines that are, Oh, I forgot this. We have, this is the May the Fourth May the Fourth. Oh my God, dude.

It's kind of like a double holiday because we're recording this on 420 and it comes out on May the 4th. And we forgot. We did the list late because we were so fucking high. May the 4th be 20. We should be smoking Salvia today. Yeah. I'm going to read

you guys the first line here on this Star Wars pickup lines are called. It's the reason I picked this one. No need to use the force. because these Star Wars pickup lines will do the trick I love using the floor

I was about to use the force. I was going to use Madam, madam I was about to use the force on you to have sex with you. Instead I will use my language.

I will use language. I'll use the force. Calling all Star Wars nerds. Hello. Hi. Not me. Hey. Maybe you guys are.

Not me. how like a nerd talks like oh my god hey i love star wars i love smoking that's how they sound that's how they sound that every nerd voice hey girlfriend yeah it's true especially star wars nerds yeah they do like this the hand thing yeah the hand thing they do the force like it's like force lightning hand it's a force choke and they that's the sound to make when they pee, too. Yes.

I got in first grade I got in trouble because there was some kid in the stall and I was like, come on, I have to pee so bad. Oh, I'm peeing myself. And a teacher like heard me doing that because I was like screaming it and she walked into the bathroom and I was like,

because like there's a girl in the boys' bathroom and it's Mrs. Gray. And she was like, you shouldn't be doing that. and I was like, okay, I'm sorry. When I was in first grade, I worked at the, I worked at the FBI, and I were doing skydiving a lot, too. Damn.

Yeah, and I actually got fired for being drunk when I was in first grade. Yeah. Don't take that back. No, I seriously was drinking alcohol. The first pickup line is, you're the Obi-Wan for me. What? You're the Obi-Wan for me. You're going to be my master and then I'll fucking betray you?

Yeah. Why would you tell that to a girl? You can tell that to a girl. Why would you say that to a girl? Yeah, you're basically going to become my master and we're going to be best friends and fly in a supercar, and then also at the end,

I'm going to fight you at a volcano. How is that going to be hot to a girl? That's hot to be hot to a girl. That's not sexual. Obey one never fucked anybody. He's a, he's a monk. He's a... That's not true, dude.

He fucked Sabina Wren. What the hell are you... Is that a porn star? Yeah. Shut up. She was a Mandalorian. I wonder what a point? Porn star names are like in the Star Wars universe.

They're normal. Ala Secura. She's a Jedi. Blue Jedi, blue Twilich, two tentacles. That's funny. Two lightsabers. Because I feel like you have to, you have to like, it's a combination of, you know, guys. See, it sounds like Asa.

It does sound like her. It's like named like Jimmy Cock. It's like a porn star name. And then a Star Wars name is like. Gleblan. Glorbon, Cleblan. Glebin. Glorblon cock.

Gorbon clock Desmond Fudd It's a good Star Wars, dude Number two You stole my heart like the rebels Or the Death Thar Plans What's up? You stole my heart

Like the Rebels stole the Death Thart The Death Star Plans or Plains? Hey, hey, can you speak up You're trying to fuck me? Here, we need to, no, we need to test these Okay, I'm going to turn into a girl in one second Hey, whoa I'd join the dark side as long as you were there.

What? Would you eat my poop? Yes. What? Would you eat my poop if I was a dog? Yes. I must be drawn to the force because Yoda only won for me. Because Yoda only won for me.

What? Because Yoda only one for me. If I was a lizard, would you put me under a heat lamp? Yes. He's winning right now. He's winning. The Star Wars nerd is losing the jock over here. He's a jock.

right now. Okay, okay. Related 25 Star War Effects, only true fans know. Okay. Now trending the best Easter candy everyone wants in their baskets this year. I love sweets.

If I was a bird, would you put your finger in my cloaca? Yes. That's just crass. This wouldn't work in real life. Well, she's actually, this is, it's Lisa Lampinelli. She likes stuff like that. That's who I'm being right now. Yeah.

You're as bright as a lightsaber. What? That's not. Lisa Lampone. What? Would you touch my balls? Yes? I'm okay.

Thank you. He's back. He's back. He's alive. He's risen. He's risen indeed. I can't believe he died, and we didn't get to do an episode about it the day that he died, because we were having a backlog. Yeah.

I miss him already, dude. He was the best. Yeah. I'm glad he's dead. But then I hit him. Yep. I hit myself with my own car. He didn't do that.

That's what Anton Yeltsin did. My name is Anton Yeltsin. Oh, he is Anton Yulchin. With how loud Gilbert Gufford is, his name would be Anton yelling. Yep. Yep. How loud he was. Well, he is.

He's still loud. A ton. He should have been named a ton of metal and steel belting him into an oak tree. Yeah, and Gilbert got fried. Mm-hmm. And died. Yeah. He Burt got fried.

who else died that has a name who else died that has a name that's a good question Lisa Lampinelli would be I leased a lot of spaghetti I leased a restaurant and it gave me diabetes and that killed me I leased a Lamborghini and crashed it who else died

who else died I don't care I died I just died when Charlie XX dies you bet I'll be singing that song well the XX is like her face because the X's her eyes

Maybe the C's her mouth or her nose. The C's her weird nose. Yeah, her weird nose. So it's like X, C, X. Yeah. She has a C for a nose, right? I don't remember what she was like. It was like a C for a nose, yeah.

And Charlie could be like gnarly. Like, she's like a gnarled corpse. Amy Winehouse died drinking wine in her house. Yep. Kirk Cobain died from a shot to gain. And it could be like Chris Farley, X, X, X, X, and that's like the X's eyes. Chris Farley, X, X, X, X, and he's doing the Chippendale to dance. Yeah.

That's all I got. He ate chips. And dales. Chips and... And made a dail with the devil. Chips and bales of... Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Yep. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. He... Had a farm. He bought the...

No. He... Yeah. Okay. So, he... bought a farm and the animals all killed him. Norm MacDonald is warm no longer. Norm no long old. Yeah. Is your last name Skywalker because you Luke so good? This list is so bad. I just thought the force thing was funny at the beginning. Yeah. Do you guys want to look at the Easter

candy that everyone wants in their baskets this year? Yes. Yes. What kind of Easter candy we got? The best Easter candy everyone wants in their baskets this year. Okay. Karen Cicero. Like Karen Cicero. Okay. Follow us down the rabbit hole for a look at new Easter new Easter candy plus classic picks that make a basket feel complete. I hate those big-ass fucking bunnies, man. Yeah. Those, that is the worst chocolate.

I only like those. What are they filling, what is the filler that they put in cheap chocolate that makes it taste so shit? Poop. Is it poop? It might be rabbit. Is it poop? Is it?

It's probably rabbit meat. Yeah, it's rabbit. I don't think rabbit is cheaper than chocolate. They put rabbit meat. Rabbits really, there's so many rabbits. There's so many rabbits. There's so many rabbits. Yeah, okay, you're right.

You know what's good? Never mind. You know what's good to get on Easter? What? Christ's love. Yeah. Yeah, lucky for me. I get it every fucking day of my life, you fucking ass hat.

Chill, dude. Sorry. Chill out. Kit Kat, Easter, Lemon, Crisp, miniature wafer bar. Oh, wow, that sounds so good. I'm so hungry all right. I don't even need a KitKat because God's giving me this and that. Everyone wants this in their basket, a KitKat Easter Lemon, crisp, miniature wafer bar.

This is the candy everybody's talking about this year. I want a plum kid cat again. This is a cool whipped. website. Here's another article on this website. Why is Airplane also spelled Aeroplane? Good question. That's a good question. I'm not going to click on it because I want to

preserve the mystery. This is on New Jersey.com. 25 cool Easter basket ideas for teens they will be obsessed with. Oh, R.D. I thought that was an N and a J. I need to wear my glasses more. Webbler, Webler, Webler, Milk Chocolate Bunnies. These bunnies look like the office.

In the No Sugar Fiends. In the No Sugar Fiends. That's a agree that world market has the best selection of Easter candy from around the globe. I forgot about World Market, man. But let's be honest, they'll be gone before the Easter games begin. What does that mean? The Easter games and egg toss? There's a link.

There's a three-legged race. Easter is a serious game day. 25 best Easter games to play with the whole family. Well, this is getting us down a rabbit hole. Easter activities for everyone. Was that candy? What games do you play? What game do you play?

Easter egg hunt. I can't believe we didn't have an egg hunt this year. It was my birthday. Yeah, and you didn't even want to have an egg hunt. That's kind of fucked up. I don't want eggs on your birthday. You know what I would take? A cigarette hunt.

What? You can put that inside the eggs. That's the point. You put anything in the eggs. How am I supposed to open up an egg and drain all the... And you never heard of a plastic egg. And also, you drain all the juice out when you die an egg. A plastic egg isn't an egg at all.

Are you one of those freaks who dies a hard-boiled egg like a weirdo? Yes. I never got that. Dying a hard-boiled egg? What, you dye it and then you paint it with the vinegar stuff? You can't eat those eggs after because they're covered in paint. Yes, you can.

You can. It's on the shell. No, it's way better to drain it off. You've never, you've never blown the yolk out of an egg? No. Really? Yes. That's so fun.

I grew up in fucking Farmville, okay? We didn't have that. We didn't have that. You didn't have eggs? No, we didn't have, we didn't buy chickens for 150 coins. We were a cow-only farm. Easter egg spoon race. Oh, that one's a classic.

That one's fun. Limbo. Yeah, make a limbo stick. You know what they say about limbo? Shop limbo stick. Do you guys know what they say about limbo? Do you know? Jack me nimble,

Jack, no, this is what they say about limbo. They say, how low can you go? That's true. For only 35, 41, we could get a giggle and go, limbo, outdoor games for adults and family,

limbo game for kids, party games, backyard games, lawn games, or outdoor games for kids, ideal yard games for adults and family for all ages. Who do you think we'd be best at limbo of us three? Definitely not be.

I have so much back pain. You're short, though. What? You're short. You're three inches tall. And you're two inches tall. Pause. No,

I'm not pausing. He's noticed another man's height. I didn't even notice. Gay. You notice? So if I know it, so you admit it's true then? Yes.

Yeah, okay. That's all I need. I'm two inches tall. See if I give a fuck. I still fuck models every single day. Limbo, now it is with the way, nowadays with the way

the culture is treating height and people, like how much people like freaking tall men. Limbo's the one game you don't want to win. True. Okay.

Seems like nowadays in the news, with all this height stuff, Limbo is one of those games you don't want to win at the Easter party. You don't even want to win this game. Seems like this is one of the Easter games you want to lose. Okay, picture this. You're at an Easter party, right? You're at the biggest Easter party of the year. A million hot girls.

A million hot girls. You're at a different family's Easter party. Let's just say they're bunnies. Yeah. Come play limbo. Come play limbo. And you're saying, listen, I could go pretty low on one of these bitches. but I'm not going to show you my height, bitch.

You're going to have to pull out a tape measure or take me to the doctor. And even then, I'm not going to take my shoes off. And it seems like nowadays, if I played this game, I'd rather lose than win. Yeah. Never ask a woman, her weight. It's like golf.

And never ask a man if he wants to play Limbo. Yep. Yeah. Because he's going to say no. Yeah, limbo's like golf. It's one of those games you don't even want to win. Listen, I may be small, but I could still house a damn hungry, man.

I'll take it down. I'll eat it. Do you ever tell you about the... Within an hour, I'll eat an entire hungry man. I bought a hungry man recently. Mm-hmm. Like a couple months ago. Salisbury?

No, I bought the fried chicken selects one. I was pretty drunk. It was coming home from a bar. No, and you left it in the oven, right? Yeah, I fell asleep with it in my oven. Yeah. I wish it had just burned you alive. Dude, it would have been so...

It would have been so funny. I wish it had killed everybody in your entire block. Yeah. One hungry man. One hungry man burns down the whole block. Single hungry man just blowing up an entire. Sources are saying the fire was started after a stupid man fell asleep

eating a hungry man, waiting for his hungry man, and trying to catch up on succession. The source of the fire was this, fat piece of shit. There's just a picture of the guy. He has the hungry man. This is a picture of the guy

buying a hungry man at the store. It's just like in like gray sweatpants to have a mustard stain. If you're wondering where we got that photo, a patron of the grocery. store just thought he looked stupid just in checking out it's like it's got the Snapchat

thing on it says like look at this fat piece of shit behind hungry man I bet he's going to burn down his block later cut to that it's an interview with the fat guy and he's just like oh he's the only one to survive the aftermath

that looks exactly like the aerial photo of the move bombing just like um I don't know. I just wanted fried chicken, and Popeyes was closed. And now, 553, people are dead. Watch me do this cartwheel. Man, a maze's town makes them all forget about his cry with amazing cartwheel.

Breaking news, this guy did a cartwheel. This guy did the coolest cartwheel after doing nothing. And he's never done anything wrong. He's never done anything else. This man was born one second ago And he did a car wheel Did his first thing It was a cartwheel

Congrats to you Derek On doing the only thing you've ever done He did his first thing He's just eating like A hungry man that's so burnt It's just like a black square The brownie that when I took the brownie out Hey bud

A brownie already looks burnt I picked it up Tell me what was it brown It was It looked like charcoal A brownie already looks like a piece of of charcoal. If you told me the broccoli turned black, then I might be a little impressed. This guy doesn't know a fucking thing about hungry man's.

What is it? You think the brownie is not brown and black? No, there's no broccoli and hungry man. There isn't the broccoli cheese surprise. There's not a hungry man broccoli cheese surprise. Extra with funfetti ice cream. There's no fun, how would you, it all goes in the same oven. Why would there be ice cream in it? It's heat proof. It's not heatproof. If you put ice cream in the oven, it hardens like model magic. You're just jealous because you've never had The different flavors of Hungry Man that I've had

Yeah What are those? This must be some hungry man in Japan Calamari They have a Calamari hungry man Oh my God Calamari And a ginger salad

Fried calamari And yeah It also has the funfetti ice cream That's heatproof Okay And you can put it in the oven For up to one hour And it will be fine

Yeah the heatproof the ice cream It comes in like plastic wrap That blocks the heat Actually it comes in a radiation shield I just remembered I just changed my my memory, and it's actually, it's reversed ice cream, so it comes hot, and you

heat it up, and it becomes cold. But when it's in the frozen section, it's piping hot. It's like, hot. You have to hot potato into the oven, and then when you take it out, it's ice cold. Yeah, it burns your hand from coldness. Yeah, yeah, it's opposites. So this limbo bar. Opposites attract, right?

Yeah. That's why you put ice cream in the oven. It's a good. Opposites attract is a myth. So isn't poop the opposite of my mouth? Yes. No, your butt's the opposite of your mouth. Then stuff is there to make a lot of dead sense. I think the opposite of your mouth is probably your foot. Okay.

Why? Uncle her. Because you're, I mean, it's just... It just is, you know? It just is. It's a good point. Okay. You know what I used to be able to do when I was more flexible.

Thanks, Neil to Grasshole, Tyson. I was more flexible. Yeah. Thanks beer, that's what I think of that guy. Beer, the grasshole, my son. Thanks, ass, to grass. rides for free tyson nobody rides cash ass or de grass tyson

cash grass or de ass nobody rides for freeson nobody rides for freez nobody rides for freez that's probably what we'll end up saying once we have spaceships and supercars yeah yeah on the I want to put like a bumper that bumper sticker on like the next Tesla ship

bumper sticker I'd rather have a sticky bumper yeah and I could put stuff I'd rather make her bumper sticky I'd rather be the I'd rather be called I put a baby on board her I'd rather be called the sticky

Humber The Hinky Sticky Humber The Hunky Breaky Harder That's what I'd be called Humber and dumper Humber and dumper Humber and then I leave her And then I leave her

And then I'm a beaver We should make a sign For your card says me on board I don't really I don't really I had a really good idea for bumper stickers that I can't say because I want to make it. It's the Steveo thumbs up. Guys, we have good bumper. We're going to make bumper stickers.

Are we? Yeah, I'll tell you guys the bumper sticker idea after the episode's over. I feel you told me one for. I did, yeah. And it was really good, I think. Yeah. So I think we should make them.

Me on board. I won't. Me on board's good. I think that's pretty good. Yeah. But we could, we could. We're doing a bumper sticker drop. Yeah, we're doing a bumper sticker pop-up car.

Yep. You buy stickers from the car. Mm-hmm. they're stuck to it and you gotta get them off and you don't get any sort of glue or reverse glue I mean should I buy this $40 limbo stick?

Yeah I feel like we need a limbo stick for the office I think we could make a limbo stick Can I read your review of the limbo stick? It's been so stressful having an office Can we please go on a retreat? I would love to go on a retreat Where would we go on a business retreat to? Six Flags.

Six Flags would be pretty roller coaster rocket rolling. Yeah, that's a good point. I'm a little bit scared of going really fast. Okay, that's on you. You could go on the small coasters. I am a little worried about roller coasters now that like a couple people have died on

roller coasters in the past year. Those are carnival rides. Yeah. Nuh. There were two drop towers. Yeah, no, the drop tower was at, was at Icon Park. That's like not a real. That's like, well, there was one there.

But it was like, it was like a good drop tower. It was the same brand. Yeah, it was the same like manufacturer. But it's not in like a real park though. I've been to that place. That's like not. That doesn't matter. It's a restaurant plaza, but I'm saying it's not like, I feel like all the ones that

have like staff and stuff. Like that one, that's like a teenager's like a, okay. The other one was a little girl died in a mine shaft drop tower. Well, that's that she should have been mining. Well, she's a child. You should not be letting your kids spolunk at that age. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Yeah, no, but the Icon Park one, that was, yeah, that was like a teenagers operated ride.

Also, I guess I'm like, probably the exact size of it's so crazy that they you know why i am scared because i look exactly like a crash dummy yeah so i'm worried that they might get confused yeah oh we're testing the ride today oh i say there's a crash dummy on the ride you're like yeah we'll just we'll just leave him unbuckled yeah oh that's cool they added a we need to see what happens if a guy doesn't buckle in that's the test yeah what happens yeah it would just worry me a little bit i would be i would be slightly worried. I get mistaken for a mannequin a lot when I'm walking down the street. People start putting clothes on me. I walk by a telco all of a sudden I have a cangle hat and I'm wearing

sweatpants. I say mama. Yeah, I get mistaken for the axe chocolate guy all the time. No. Yeah, I do. You don't. Women lick with me. Women don't lick with me. A woman stole my arm the other day and started eating it. That is something that would happen to me as a mannequin, not you as a chocolate. They would eat a mannequin? What are you talking about? A teenager would just take it. A teenager would steal your arm as a mannequin, yes, but because I'm, people mistake me for the Axe Chocolate guy, they steal my arm and they eat it like, and they put, they melt it like if it's, like it's an affigato. People, people mistake me for a Broadway star. Really, I don't. I don't think you do.

Cameron, put us side by side. You have chocolate skin? I have chocolate skin. Does that mean my skin is straight vanilla? Mm-hmm. Damn. I'm strawberry. I look at the ex-ch chocolate guy.

I'm strawberry. I'm red. I'm red. Yeah, you are red and pink. You just said you're vanilla, so you can't switch, okay? I'm all three. No, my God. I'm a sweet combination.

I'm a Neapolitan. I'm head to toe. I'm the ice cream, man. I'm made of ice cream, guys. No, no, no, it's not my profession. It's my race. If you guys... My race is ice cream, man.

If your entire body was Neapolitan ice cream, what sections are you putting where? I think I might go red legs, black top, white middle. I mean, there's really only two combinations you can pick. It's not true. That's not true. Yeah, there's only two because...

There's three flavors. There's three flavors, but it's... Neapolitan is always, like, strawberry vanilla chocolate. It doesn't matter what Neapolitan always is. We're breaking that rule. So, no, because then this is just that this... No, it doesn't... There's only two, because you can only do that combination or the reverse.

You are, by the way, it's not... You aren't made of ice cream. That's why I think that you have to... Because I don't really like chocolate. I feel like most people don't, right? So, like, you make chocolate your head so that you can keep your head without somebody eating it.

A lot of people like chocolate. And then the rest of it's covered in clothes. And then people won't even notice. It's ice cream. Yeah. Okay. I mean, if I was ice cream, I probably just wouldn't,

I would stay in the freezer. Yeah. Not me. Well, I would be reversed. I'd be the ice cream from the hunger man that actually gets colder. So you'd have to get cooked in the oven. No, I'd go out and cook in the sun in the summertime.

Oh, what about the winter? Summer, summer, summer. You get so overheated in the winter. Do you guys hear my summer song I came up with yesterday? That was pretty good. Summer time to swing on the summer swing. That's pretty good. No, I don't think you did.

All right. So what's the deal? We're on tour right now? We're not on tour. Yeah, we're on tour in four days. Okay. When this comes out. Fuck.

So, guys, we only have four days left. I don't give a shit. I don't care either. But you guys should buy tickets, please, because it's going to be fun. And you're not going to want to miss it because we're all. going to ritually kill ourselves after the tours is your last chance. Yep. You will never see me alive again. Yes.

If you would, if you want to... We are going to die in a car accident on the tour. Absolutely. There's no question. Swagpoop.com slash shows. There's lots of shows and links to buy. There, we added some... I know some people were disappointed that some shows were like 21 plus or whatever. I think we added, we added a few

all ages in 18 plus. L.A. in Chicago. In Chicago, we added... We added... We added a three-plus show. Yeah, you have to be of three. We added a dog-friendly show. We had a dog-friendly show in Bone Town. Yep. Yeah.

And we, yeah, we're dead by the time this comes out. All of us died. Yeah. All right. Bye. Bye.