Podcast About List - Ep. 196 - There’s a Big Announcement At the End of this Episode
Episode Date: June 15, 2022go to WWW.SWAGPOOP.COM/SHOWS for live show tickets in Seattle and Portland :) ...
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Come in, come in, come in.
Let me see a butt.
All accounts to the ball list.
Every crap monster.
Okay.
It's on.
Okay.
It's on, guys.
Patrick, do his song at the beginning.
Caleb, say something out of pocket.
Let's go.
Come on.
Adjective.
Um, dancing.
That's not an adjective.
That's a verb.
Okay, fine.
Jumping.
Nope.
That's not...
You, okay, ask me.
He goes first.
We're going around.
I go first.
Okay, well, he messed it up twice.
So he just took two turns.
We shut the fuck of two turns.
Drivingly.
That's an adverb.
You're so fucking stupid.
Jumpingly.
That's an adverb.
He'd take four turns.
Four turns.
I think this last...
One more.
Okay.
He would say wet.
Wet-ass Caleb.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
Cameron, I needed an answer.
adjective crazy with two rs that's an insult that's not a that's not an insult can be an
adjective that's not right you're so dumb that's not true you're so stupid it's an insult and also
that's an adjective misspelled as well I need another adjective another adjective
stinky stinky stinky plural noun smells
Oh, I hope it's stinky smells
I hope they can back to back
Oh my God
Okay, why are you taking so long here
You can't write smells
No, I need another plural noun
And you're coming up with it this time
Yeah, I just don't
You can't, you can't see the stuff
You can't, you're not allowed to write your own choices
No, he can't see, he just sees a list of it says
Oh, he's doing that, he's doing the lonely kid version
Yeah
Yeah, yeah.
Damn, I can't even think of a plural.
A plural noun, just anything.
Smells.
Odors.
Oh, that's good.
Odors.
Okay, and then the adjective.
Uh, uh, um, fuck.
Fuck.
Uh, fumed.
Fumed.
Fumed.
Fum of.
Fum of.
Fumiv.
Fumiv.
Fumiv.
Okay.
A plural noun.
Plural noun.
Fumes.
Fumes.
Oh, my God, he's taking all my turns.
Okay, noun.
Aroma.
Okay.
Plural noun.
Smell.
Smelling.
Smellers.
Smellers.
Smellers.
Smellers.
Smellers.
Yeah.
Be a boo-b.
I smelled.
Sniff.
Sniff.
Sniff.
Number.
100,000.
100,000.
Yep.
smells
down
yep
um
that's gonna be it's gonna be the
the
the stink stink
stink yeah
number
six
thousand
adverb
smellingly
smellingly
noun
nose
nose
yeah
plural noun
noses
noses
noses
in the verb
sniffing
sniffing
right now
Sniffing someone.
Sniff again.
All right.
So at the end of the episode, we're going to have a crazy...
At the end of the now, you are now.
You can't fucking tease my cock like this.
It's because he wrote them all at the top and he will take him an hour to transfer
them down to the bottom.
Me and Cam will just do our thing and you write it down.
Okay?
Write it down now.
Start it.
No, we gotta keep everyone listening.
I want to keep everyone listening.
I want to do like...
I want to do like 10 of these.
I want to do only these.
All right, fine.
Okay, and he's getting, he's getting, he's doing it all right now.
Tis the wet season for caroling.
Here's how to make everyone's a Christmas a little more merry and crazy.
Uh-huh.
Gather six million of your, of your stink friends.
Excuse me.
Wait, Pat wrote six million.
Why did you pick that number?
Gather six million of your stinky friends.
Why is that?
Six million of your stinky friends and family.
What's wrong with you?
And family smells.
Six million of your stinky.
Come on, though.
What?
Pick out a few classic odors.
Just saying, like, have yourself a fumive little Christmas.
Silver fumes
And Frosty
The Aroma Man
Frosty the Aroma Man
Oh my God
That's a good guy
Put Santa Smellers on everyone's heads
And sniff to your neighbor's house
Santa Smellers
Knocked 100,000
times on the front stink
nothing
knock six more times
and smellingly
when your neighbors
answers the nose
hasn't he or she
like to hear you sing a song
answer the nose come on
if your neighbor says yes
sing your noses out
if your neighbor says no
you can't open it with six million and then start
talking about noses so much here at the end
dude what are you talking about this is not good what do you mean you did a bad thing yeah you were
naughty you're not getting at it you're not getting any smellers from santa this year
will never give you a smell for us frosty the aroma man's not coming to life for yo ass
how is that naughty okay let's just do another one put the magic smell on his head oh this one's
been done oh let's already let's see what the other person is where'd you get this was i found
i found this on the street oh you stole this from a child wow
this, hold on.
No, I didn't steal
from a child,
but I stole it from somebody
who's pretty awesome.
Really?
Let's hear it.
Let's read it out.
Okay.
Deck the masks with boughs of riots.
Fala, la, la, la.
La, la.
It's no way, dude.
This is what.
Tis the COVID-19 to be
catastrophic.
Fala, la, la, la, la, la.
Now, Don, we
now are depressing apparel.
Fala la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la.
Fola la la la la. See the sanitizing yule before us.
La la la la la la la la la la.
Yeah. Strike the virus and join the chorus.
Uh-huh.
Dude, this is fire.
This is.
This could go absolutely viral.
Follow me now in surprising measure while I tell the tale of scary treasures.
Is there more it is?
I don't know.
I think they...
That's the only one they did.
I think that is the only one they did.
They just threw it on the street.
Take the masks with the boughs of riots.
And I think that this is probably the same person that threw away the Zelda painting there.
You think so?
Oh, probably.
I think it could be.
Okay, here's a mad lib.
This one is called Hot Fudge Sundays.
I don't even want to know what this is about.
Okay.
Yeah, I think I have some ideas.
Okay, we need a noun.
Fudge.
Fudge.
Fudge.
Yeah.
Number.
One.
Yeah, one.
Yeah, one hot Fudge Sunday.
Yeah.
Plural noun.
Sundays.
Yeah, Sundays.
Yeah.
An adjective.
Fudgy.
Another adjective.
Hot.
Hotty.
An adjective.
Yum me.
Ice cold.
Noun.
Topping.
Number.
One.
Plural down.
Ice creams.
Noun.
Peanuts.
Tarry on top.
Bowl
Verb past tense
Eat it
Plural noun
Spoons
Adjective
Delectable
In a verb
Spoon
Chewed
Chewed
Meltie
Meltie did
Making a hot fudge fudge as simple as one as one-to-one.
All you need are the following Sundays, a pint of fudgy ice cream,
one jar of hot sauce, and one cup of ice cold nuts.
One can of whipped topping.
Yep.
one maraschino ice cream scoop the ice peanuts into a glass cherry on top pour a generous portion of hot bowl sauce
and that amount of heated cream sprinkle with spoons and top off with a delectable cherry
now chew the joy
Hot bowl sauce
That's sauce you keep in a bowl
That's the most I think I've ever done
Dude
Holy shit
Oh man
Is this all like Christmas
Or no I'm at the non-Christmas part of the book
I guess that makes a hot fudge Sunday
It's not very Christmas is it
Yeah do you want me to go back to Christmas
No that's okay
I want to get a sampling
Okay here's truth or dare part one
Oh my God
I need a noun.
Truth.
Okay, I need a person in the room.
Dare.
Dare.
Dare.
Dare.
Mr. Dare.
Okay, I need a noun.
Dare.
Let's put truth.
Okay, I need a number.
Two.
Truth and dare.
Okay.
Verb, past tense.
Dared.
Yeah.
Dared.
Yeah.
The noun.
True.
a number two an adjective uh secret yeah verb what about asking the truth telling the truth a noun
this is going to be funny as fuck um a noun i'm i'll go with truth okay uh an adjective um an adjective um
Truthly, truthfully.
Yeah, truthfully.
Truthful.
A noun.
Sleepover.
Yep.
Adjective.
Fun.
Type of liquid.
Water.
What the fuck?
Hold on.
The noun.
Water.
Water.
Water.
Plural noun.
Waters.
Cups of water.
And the type of liquid.
Water.
Salt water.
Red water.
Red water.
All right.
Yeah, what is it?
Let's play truth or dare.
Okay.
First, some truths.
Question.
What is the name of the truth you like?
Answer, dareer.
Question.
What is one truth no one knows about you?
When I was two years old, I dared like a...
I dared like a dare in front of two people.
Question.
If you were stranded on a secret island,
what are three things you would bring with you?
Answer, I couldn't telling the truth without my precious truth.
I couldn't telling the truth without my precious truth.
My truthful sleepover
And a fun bottle of water
Question, what is the strangest water
You've ever eaten?
Answer, a cup of water
dipped in red water.
I can't believe how much fun this is.
I cannot fucking believe
How much fun this is.
This is cheating.
This is a bad nightmare.
A bad nightmare.
First in the room, female.
Caleb.
Caleb.
The adjective.
Scary.
Yep.
Plural noun.
Nightmares.
The noun.
Dream.
Plural noun.
Dreamers.
Plural noun.
Beds.
Mm-hmm.
Adverb.
Sleepingly.
A sleeply.
A sleeply.
Part of the body, plural.
Um, amygdala.
Noun.
Ooh.
That's a tough one.
Yeah.
I'm gonna go with, yeah, pillow.
Pillow cases.
Or pillow case.
Nown.
pillow
yeah
verb ending in ing
dreaming or sleeping
dreaming slash sleeping
dreaming dreaming or sleeping
uh verb ending in iNG
but we do sleeping then dreaming
okay we can do sleeping than dreaming
hey you're listen you're the architect okay
we're just giving you the ingredients here you're the chef
you're putting it all together for it one night i had to sleep over at my friend
Caleb's house, and I had a scary nightmare that scared the living nightmares out of me.
I dreamed I was in school standing in front of my English dream, giving a report on Shakespeare's dreamers, when I realized I wasn't wearing any beds.
Embarrassed beyond belief, I asleepingly put my hands over my amygdala and ran out of the classroom at breakneck pillow case.
suddenly I was being chased by a wild pillow
Just as the pillow was about to catch me
I woke up sleeping with fright
I spent the rest of the night
dreaming with the light on
All right pick one more
We'll do one more
Can't make the whole
I mean
What are you going to make the whole episode
Madlips
There's no way
It couldn't work
It's just one more
It would never work
Doing an entire Madlids episode
How to sing karaoke
How to sing karaoke
Any adjective?
Um, adjective.
Yeah, loudly. That's good.
Yeah.
Yep.
I'm loading up my place.
A place?
Karaoke bar.
Yeah, karaoke bar.
Okay, I need an adverb.
Hmm.
What about singing?
Singingly.
Yeah, singingly is good.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
Need a noun.
Uh, fart.
Yeah.
What?
What?
Adjective.
Farting.
Smell.
Adjective.
Smelly.
Smelling my fart.
Adjective.
Smelly.
Adjective.
Smelly.
Stinky.
Adjective.
Disgusting.
Mown.
Sing.
Sing.
Song.
Adverb.
Fartingly.
Yeah.
A loud fartingly.
Plural noun.
Clouds.
Green clouds.
Noun.
Microphone.
This is how to sing karaoke,
ladies and gentlemen.
Karaoke is a loudly form of entertainment that first became popular in the karaoke bar.
And singingly caught on all over the fart.
In karaoke, you sing to a farting song using a farting time, using a fart, using a smellingly microphone.
You don't have to be a particularly good singer.
Karaoke, you can even be a smelly singer.
The most important thing is to have a stinky time.
Karaoke is especially disgusting at a sleepover party.
You don't even need a song.
machine.
You can just turn up the radio
and sing fartingly.
Just be sure to give
another green clouds a turn.
You don't want to be a microphone hug.
I feel like
you're being excluded from coming
up with the words.
You want to switch out?
Yeah, I'll do...
I mean, we could do one more.
We could probably get one more.
I'll do one more before people won't.
You don't want to listen to here anymore, right?
You guys, you just did.
Well, yeah, I'll, here, don't look, you can't look at it.
You can't choose the one.
Yeah, that's the whole thing here.
You can pick, pick a different one.
All right, I'm going to try to pick a good one here.
Pat, hold up his phone so he can look at a list of adjectives first.
Let's see here.
We want a recipe, maybe.
Recipes, I think, are always good.
Yeah.
All right, here, let me.
I got a recipe here.
Oh, wait, no, this one's good.
this one's called elf mail okay elf mail elf mail yeah do you have my do you have my kitty cat pen
yeah i do um so first one is person in room hmm cameron cameron okay it's okay if i write do i have to
write in the top it's easier for in the bottom okay i'm gonna write in the bottom you're gonna ruin
the story okay person in room Cameron okay all right then we got adjective smelly okay okay it's gonna be good
This is elf.
We should go with like...
Oh, wait, yeah, wait.
Short.
Short.
I'm kidding.
It's a short.
Short.
Okay.
We got another adjective next.
Small.
Okay.
Then another adjective.
Christmasy.
Christmasy.
Okay.
Then we got a plural noun.
Christmas trees.
Pointy ears.
Which one?
Christmas ears.
Christmas ears.
Okay.
Then adjective.
Winter Wonderland
Yes
Yeah
E
Winter Wonderlandy
Winter Wonderlandy
Okay
Person in Room
Cameron
Cameron
Okay
Noun
Elf
Elf
Elf
Okay
adjective
Christmasy
Okay
adjective
Joyful
All right
Person in room
Cameron
Noun.
Gay apparel.
Verb.
Dawn.
Dawn.
Dawn.
Plural noun.
Donned.
That's not a plural noun.
A doner.
Okay.
All right.
Elf male.
All right.
Okay.
Okay.
Two.
Cameron dash elf at Santa's work.
dot elf from cameron's little helper at sanis workshop dot elf hi there short buddy just wanted to drop you a small
note to see how you are doing it's been a christmasy christmas season here i've made so many toys
especially jack in the christmas ears that i've lost count on another winter wonderlandy note
are you getting excited about cameron's christmas eve elf party i hear dj elf elf elf spitting some really
Christmas Eat Christmas tunes.
I've also got some joyful gossip.
I hear Cameron, it is shoe in for Elf of the Year.
He slash she totally deserves it
for being such a hardworking gay apparel.
Well, I've got a Don.
It's back to the Donner at the workshop.
See you soon.
That was pretty good.
That was lovely.
That's elf male.
It's kind of, yeah, it's like an e-mail.
No, I get it.
Oh, I get it.
Oh, let me do one.
You want to do one?
Let me do one.
And then we're for real.
And then, yeah, we're not.
So one more.
One more, Madlip.
All right.
We're doing, this one's called sage advice.
Sage advice.
Okay.
This one's pretty short.
I'm going to need a verb in an I-N-G.
Okay.
No.
And person in the room.
Cameron.
Patrick.
Okay.
We're going to go with Pamron.
Pamric.
Mm-hmm.
Pamrican.
Pamrican.
Okay.
Adjective.
Water.
watery
watery
okay
adjective
wet
yeah wet
this book smells weird
it smells like
the library
the hell
no it doesn't
it smells like
the trash
yeah
it smells so bad
he got out of the trash
wet
wet
probably makes sense
it smells like the trash
plural noun
it smells like
swimmers
yeah swimmers
swimers
okay
Adverb
Swimmingly
How have you been
holding this in front of your head for so long?
It smells so bad, dude.
Just don't smell it.
Plural noun.
Swimmers.
Pools. I'm going to go to pools. We already did swimmers.
Adjective.
Fast.
Okay. Fast.
Fast.
Plural noun.
Aquatic creatures.
Aquatic
Creatures.
Okay.
All right.
Noun?
The Olympics.
The Olympics.
I can't wait to hear this one.
Adjective.
Swimmer.
Gold metal.
Swimmer-like.
Swimmer-like.
Swimmer-like, yeah.
Swimmer-like.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
Plural noun.
Divers.
Olympics.
divers. I'm going to go with divers.
Divers. I don't like repeats.
That's kind of...
Okay, what about the Winter Olympics?
I'm the Libmaster right now.
Plural noun.
Metals.
Gold and silver.
Olympic medals.
Meadows.
Okay, that kind of medals.
Golden silver, Olympic medals.
Golden silver.
Okay.
I might have to take some time.
I spell that out.
Yeah, it's a tough one.
Golden silver Olympic medals, but not bronze.
Okay, hold on.
But not bronze.
Write that down.
Yeah, I got it.
Verb ending in I-N-G?
Jumping into the pool.
Jumping into the pool.
Okay.
Okay, all right, any more?
Getting really long ones.
Yeah, any more?
Yeah, noun.
Pool that you swim in for the Olympics.
All right, hold on.
Okay, make sure you get the for the Olympics part.
Yeah, that's important.
Pool that you swim in for the Olympics in summertime.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
In summertime, anything else?
To win gold or silver Olympic medal.
Time.
Time to win gold or silver.
Gold or silver.
Olympic medals, if you do well enough.
Olympic.
God, my head hurts.
Olympic medals.
If you do well enough.
If you do well enough.
If you do well enough.
In the pool.
In the pool.
Comma.
The pool.
The end.
Pool.
The end.
Is that the end of the medlev?
Well, well, the end of the pool is six feet deep.
Yeah.
Okay.
The deep end of the pool.
Of the pool.
Okay.
Is there another one, or is it the last one?
That's the last one.
Okay.
Hold on.
All right.
What's this one called again?
This one's called Sage Advice.
Okay.
According to the pioneer of downhill swimming.
Oh.
Pamrican, when you ski,
Your watery equipment should be the equal of your wet ability.
Remember this sage advice when purchasing your first pair of swimmers.
It is swimmingly important to take many pools in the consideration before plucking down fast bucks for your aquatic creatures.
Your gender, your height, and your the Olympics are all swimmer-like.
Factors in selecting a pair of divers that match your skills and gold and silver.
Olympic medals, but not bronze.
It goes without jumping into the pool.
If you don't have the right skis, you're starting off on the wrong pool that you swim in for the Olympics in summertime to win gold or silver Olympic medals.
If you do well enough in the pool, the end of the pool is six feet deep.
That's pretty good.
All right.
I think I'm libed out.
Yeah.
I think I've gone completely mad.
Yeah.
Yeah, now I understand why they call it mad lists.
It makes complete sense.
Mad libs is, I mean, what's that?
Hey, you guys don't let me be divisive.
I'm not going to let you be divisive.
You know, what are mad libs these days?
If I were to be divisive, I would say, hey, you can't do that.
Maybe a mad, maybe the person who wrote that Christmas Carol was a mad lib.
It's called a mad liby.
Folks, I need a noun.
What do you think?
What noun?
Should I write down?
Huge.
Fart, is that funny?
Is it funny to write fart?
Part of your body.
I'm gone thinking penis.
I might go butt.
I don't know.
Has that cleared up?
What, the giant scar on your arm?
Are you fucking crazy?
No, it looked, you have a huge scar on your arm.
What do you mean?
Has it cleared up?
You have eyes.
You can see this.
And now you're shining a red light on it's only making it worse.
Damn, I was going to, I was supposed to get a tattoo there.
You're going to get a tattoo on the same.
scar?
Around the whole thing.
Why don't I just do the other elbow?
I guess I have to now.
Yeah.
The right elbow's cooler anyway.
Yeah, I guess.
Yeah.
But then I won't be able to use my arm for the rest of the day.
That is a good point, actually.
And it's not going to be more than just a day.
Yeah.
You're going to web your elbow as like your first real tattoo.
That is so cool, dude.
That is so fucking sick.
I was really drunk when I booked this, and it's going to be awesome.
That's the sickest shit ever.
I think I might go.
Two days.
Two days?
Yeah.
Nice.
Is that the one...
I shouldn't say the address.
Getting an arm tattoo as your first tattoo is the coolest thing you can do, I think.
Yeah.
You did it.
Yep.
I did it.
I did it.
You did it.
Yeah.
You're about to do it.
I did it.
I already did.
So I know exactly how much the pain...
It's not about the pain.
It's just about looking like a complete psycho and like whatever.
This one, this one is so stupid.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
Because it's, yeah, the only visible one when I walk around, and I haven't got another one in, like, a year.
Yep.
Yeah.
I was brand new to college, and everyone thought I was normal, and then I showed up with a dragon on my forearm one day.
One giant forearm tattoo is the sickest thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was going to do that.
No leg tattoos that are visible at all.
Yeah, exactly.
Just show up with a giant forearm.
Just, yeah, only forearm.
I was going to do that.
I was going to get a big forearm tattoo.
Of what?
Of a boar.
why you should obsess with this bore
it's on my family crest
and then I looked at my family crest
and I was like
that's not cool
it's not a cool looking for
a family crest I don't think it matters
what's cool or not I think a family
crest tattoo is inherently uncool
yeah yeah I don't think it matters
what's on the crest
tattoos are about disrespecting your parents
and you're doing the ultimate
parent respect
yeah that's why that's why I
was like well
what's the complete opposite
of a family
the crest had to a giant spider web on your elbow.
That's true.
That's true.
Because a bore, well, because parents are scared of charlotte's web.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Now I have to get it.
I seriously just fucking owned you.
The parents in Charlotte's Webb are evil.
Who's Charlotte?
Charlotte.
What if I got a pig?
Charlotte.
You can get a pig there.
I got a pig right here.
But I will tell you someone that we know has a pig tattoo right there and you're not going
to like who it is.
But I'll tell you when we're not record.
I think I'm going to finish my Tom and Jerry tattoo soon.
Yeah, you got to do that.
I think I'm going to do it next week.
Yeah, yeah.
Maybe I'll get it.
Two pigs.
Two pigs?
You should get the angry birds pigs?
You should get the green pigs on one arm and then the birds on the other arm.
Dude, I'm so glad I waited until I was like at least 24 to get tattoos.
Why?
Because I would, dude, if I got tattoos, when I,
I was 18, that would have been so bad.
You shouldn't be...
No, no, you shouldn't be able to get tattoos until you're like...
No, the whole point is that you pick something really stupid and you have to live with it forever.
Yeah.
That's literally what it is.
Now, I would have gotten the fucking the crooked skateboard eyes somewhere.
It's locking yourself in as a stupid idiot.
That would be honestly fucking sick.
That would be cool.
Get the Neversoft logo tattooed on like the smaller your back?
Yeah.
Damn.
I want to get the Bob Bernquist anti-hero.
logo tramp stamp
I might get McDonald's
that would be cool
it's not that different
McDonald's prize
I know I know so many
so like some
so many of my good friends
got like skateboard tattoos
when they were young
and it's like man
that's it's supposed to humble you
yeah
if you get a really bad one
when you're 15
I know somebody has a
has a
the other game dishonored
oh yeah you've talked about that
they have a dishonored logo on their hands
And that's their hand tat.
That's what you should be doing.
Yeah.
Dude, the fucking NeverSoft logo.
Getting video game tattoos.
If somebody's tattoos are too cool, it's lame.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They have to be bad.
Yeah.
They have to be stupid.
I want to get maybe the NeverSoft logo here.
You should get, you know what we should all get?
We should get a mustache on this finger.
Yo.
That would be so tight.
And we can want to get different kinds of mustache.
Oh, my God.
You could get like a, um.
I get like years.
No, no, I get the Charlie Chaplin.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, the Charlie Chaplin, yeah.
Okay.
I've been watching a bunch of old, like, Japanese TV shows and...
Chaplinese?
Yeah, chaplainese.
And so many Japanese people in the, like, even in the, like, 50s had the, like, Hitler mustache.
Yeah.
Whoa.
It's so...
Charlie Chaplin.
Charlie Chaplin.
No, I'm talking about the Hitler mustache, the different mustache.
So you think the Charlie Chaplin mustache and the Hitler mustache are the same thing is
what you just.
revealed just now because I was thinking of something
different. I was just talking about mustaches.
The Hitler one's evil. The Charlie Chaplin
one is funny. The Hitler Square
is upside down. I'm
thinking about that. Like, somebody
gets the fucking mustache finger
tattoo in like 2012
but they can't afford to get it removed
so they get it blacked out.
It's a black finger.
Yeah.
They have like a black
square. Like
that mustache finger,
it fucks you like if you can't afford to get that removed and you want it gone
there's no way you can without it you know also doesn't work all that well yeah it always
looks so bad you know those pictures that people post that are like um if you see this
haircut in your neighborhood your your rent's going up and it's like the fucked up
mullets and stuff yeah i think that if if the hitler mustache wasn't evil that would be what
that meme was if you see this mustache in your neighborhood the rent's going up if that would be a
gentrifier if hitler hadn't done the whole thing he'd be a
hipster.
He would be, yeah, I mean...
Adolf Hister.
In a lot of ways...
Yeah, I mean, that's pretty natural, I feel like.
Like, in a lot of ways, he's kind of a hipster.
Yeah.
Kind of the OG hipster.
Yeah, because he created bad art.
Yep, that's right.
He's a bad artist, and he got rejected, and he guessed what, he had male rage for it.
Yeah, to do much drugs, too.
And he was addicted to drugs.
Speaking of Hitler, today we got a list of the top 10 ugliest celebrities.
Oh, my God, this is a normal episode?
Oh, yeah.
And we spent 30 minutes doing Madlibs?
Yeah.
The fuck is wrong with us.
It's fun.
That was the most fun I've ever had.
Why are we even doing the...
Let's just do...
Let's do more mad.
No, we can't.
No, we can't.
Guys, we can't do that.
We couldn't.
We couldn't do more mad libs.
We could not, not at all.
But if we were to do another mad libel,
what would maybe do more than it be?
No, no, no, no, no.
We're not going to do it.
We're not going to do it.
So who's number one on the list?
Number one on the list of ugly celebs that are viewed as attractive is Sarah
Jessica Parker.
Sarah Jessica Parker.
and this is by this list is by fairy whisper and says ugly celebrity that is perceived as
beautiful or attractive just because of their fame wow you know she's married to to matthew
broderick i did know that played ferris beuler the only people matthrew ferris beulers or something
yeah the only people who think this equine skeletor is pretty are people who are also ugly yes
one of us made it oh they're saying like that's like that's our girl that's our ugly girl
Skeletors.
Oh, equine.
Equine skeletons.
Equine skeletons.
Wow, there's so many comments on Sarah Jessica Parker.
Yeah.
Dude, back in the day, in the early sex in the city, she was foeing.
Yeah.
She was foiled.
And she was wearing that, like, that pink shirt.
Yeah, with the pink logo.
You're looking for a color?
Horse-nosed shoe face.
Horse-nosed shoe face.
Yeah.
Why wouldn't you say horse-faced shoe-nose?
It says horse-faced.
horse-nosed shoe face.
I think Sarah Jessica Parker is
beautiful, especially when she
dances.
Dancing? When she's dancing.
Yeah. Yeah.
Horsy bimbo.
She's a bit horsey, maybe.
Yeah. I'm just reading comments here.
Do I need to mention how many times she was made fun of
on South Park?
Yep.
Uh-huh. South.
And, I mean, I honestly think she's kind of
She's pretty talented.
Yeah, there's a lot of unjustified hate for Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think she's a very, like, distinguished actress.
My dog vomits when she appears on screen.
How many times does it say how many times the dog vomits?
There are two comments about dog vomiting in a row.
Two.
This chicken head is damn ugly.
Ugly.
Um, but I don't know. I think that the...
Yeah, any more questions you know?
I would say that her performances are rather enjoyable.
Any questions you have about any of these comments here?
No. I think what's the next one?
The next...
The next...
The next person. Lady Gaga.
Lady Gaga. Oh my God. Don't even get me started on Lady Gaga.
Yeah, she's weird. Yeah, she's so weird.
She's weird. She's weird.
She's weird. She's such a bad human being, racist, engaged in animal cruelty, and she uses
homosexuals for fame
Homosexuality
Uh-huh
Is good
Yeah, okay
Her features are gross
But her body is okay
Have you seen
Hold on
There's like an interview
With Lady Gaga
Really?
Yeah, there's actually an interview
She's a rock star
Yeah, she's a rock star
What does the interview say?
Wait, let's read the interview for us
Yeah, hold on
So it says question
Whatever made you choose
The Psycho Sarah Jessica Parker's
for your group
Because that was Lady Gaga's old band.
I remember that, yeah, those were old ones.
And then she says,
all the other good names like the Rolling Ferris Bueller's,
Equine Skeletor Jam,
and Pink Floyd were in which the interviewer said,
you not only dances songs,
but you play many horsey instruments, don't you?
And then Lady Gaga said,
Yes, I play the electric bimbo, the bass South Park, and the talented keyboard.
Lady Gaga said this.
She said that, yeah.
She said she plays the talented keyboard.
That's crazy.
The talented keyboard.
And then the interviewer said, you now have a distinguished song that is number two on the enjoyable charts.
What was the inspiration for this weird song?
Because all of her songs are so.
Weird, yeah. Just dance. Okay. Yeah. Definitely weird.
Oh, I skipped it one. I'll just replace it.
Believe or not, it was an ugly song that my mother used to sing me when it was time for human being.
And it never failed to use his homosexuals for fame, be to sleep. Wow. So wait, that was an interview with Lady Gaga.
I was an interview with Lady Gaga. I mean, I feel like now we've done, we did a little bit of the list. So we deserve to do a madly.
it's been so long since we did one i'm kind of i'm kind of
no let's keep going let's keep going we just keep going on the list
yeah what else do they have to say about lady gaga um let's see here a lot of people
say she's hot as hell nope that's bull she is nowhere as hot as any chick she's so ugly
she looks like she came down from another planet and she's not hot at all
the awkward and asymmetrical facial features along with her yosemite joe
body should really be putting her at the top of this list.
Yosemite Joe.
You're Yosemite Joe body.
I don't even if they, I don't know what Yosemite Sam body like Yosemite Sam body would mean as an
insult.
I don't, this person is small.
I hope she kills herself.
What the hell?
She is too ugly to be allowed to live.
Her quote unquote music is an insult to life.
So is her awful disgrace of a banana face.
This creature is truly.
ugly. How in the world did this beast become regarded as hot? This beast.
Wow. Lady Gaga's fine. Yeah. She's fine, dude.
Anything you're looking for in the comments? She, yeah, she, I mean, she makes a lot of
women wet, like water. What? Water? What? What?
I need to need a liquid. I'm nothing, yeah, I need a liquid. Hold on. Yeah,
we were just talking about how we... Oh, that hits the spot. Yep, and it's water. I'm not doing
mad lips. No. Yeah, we're not doing mad lips. No. Yeah, we're not.
not doing mad libs.
Keep going.
Oh, someone's saying something about some part of her body.
Which part of her body is...
Let me scroll and see here.
Oh, they said her banana face.
Her body.
Yeah, what do they say any other part of it?
I mean, her banana face.
Oh, okay.
And her ugly soul.
Wow.
Yeah, who's number three?
Number three is Rihanna
Rihanna? What?
What? The fuck is wrong with this list.
Rihanna is so beautiful.
This person says Rihanna is extremely ugly.
That's insane.
The makeup hides the fact, but that makeup has to come off eventually.
She also gets nose fillers to give herself a nose bridge
because without those...
What?
Plural what?
Plural...
She took...
Weevent wigs.
Wigs won't work.
Adjective?
Adjective.
Um, uh, that stupid Saudi who's fooling, what?
The stupid Saudi who's fooling out with her, Hassan Jamil needs to put his damn
glasses back on and see that ugly Rihanna's real face?
Uh, hit her with a shovel.
Hitting with a shovel.
Hitting.
Hitting her with a shovel.
And spitting on her face.
Is what it says here.
Spit.
Spit isn't out.
Spitting, yeah.
uh she poor thing looks like she has down syndrome i'm reading it i don't know what are you laughing
about nothing nothing well anything else that you're interested in knowing about riana
because i can just check it here um no but i actually have a uh interview with riana that i found
whoa whoa are you for real you're doing a lot of research for this i'm pretty proud of pat
He's doing, like, actually, he's getting pretty involved in the list and stuff.
He's not...
This is something...
It's a pretty long quote.
What?
Where was this from GQ or something?
This is, yeah.
Oh, wow, okay.
She's from her GQ interview.
Okay.
From her ML interview.
Yeah.
She...
So this is a really long quote from Rihanna.
She said,
Giraffes have aroused the curiosity of chicks since the earliest times.
The giraffe is the tallest living...
Tallest of all living planets.
But scientists are unable to...
explain how it got its long
facial features.
The giraffe's
tremendous height,
which might reach
to Yosemite
Jos,
comes mostly from its
legs and banana face.
If a giraffe wants to take
a drink of water
from the ground,
it has to spread
its
bodies
far apart
in order to reach down and lap up the water
with its huge ugly bodies.
The giraffe has beautiful ears
that are sensitive to the faintest nose fillers
and it has
a stupid sense of smell
when attacked a giraffe
might can put up a Saudi fight
I forget
which that one says.
Wait.
Oh, hitting.
I forget.
I literally, I wrote it down so fast that it doesn't even look like worse.
Let me see what the interview says.
What the fuck?
What?
Try to say that.
Hitting.
Hitting with a shovel.
Hitting with a shovel.
Hitting with a shovel.
This interviewer has really bad handwriting.
Yeah.
Hitting with his shovels out with its high and.
legs and using its head like a sledge spit, finally a giraffe can gallop at more
at more than 30 down syndromes an hour when pursued and can outrun the fastest Rihanna.
And Rihanna said that about her?
She said that can outrun the fastest.
And it says dashed Rihanna.
Oh, Rihanna.
Signed Rihanna.
And what is it, as a unit of measurement, what is a down syndrome?
Do you have any idea how many?
It's kind of like a parsec.
Okay.
So it's really far.
Oh, wow.
That's how fast drafts are.
It's really far.
It's actually quite far.
It's actually really far.
What's number four?
Number four on the list is Fergie.
Are you sure you guys don't want to do a MADLIP?
I'm getting kind of bored about it.
I think that these are not as good as us just doing a MADLib, honestly.
That's how I feel.
I think that maybe we could just do it.
I mean, well, I don't know what you mean by these.
These list entries.
Yeah.
And also the interviews that Patrick is.
I think we can reward ourselves by getting through so many.
Just give us a good math.
Let's just a quick math.
Can we just do a quick one?
All right.
Just a quick one.
Need a noun?
What about Furgy?
Fergie is good.
I need a plural noun.
Maybe Fergis.
Furghis or Black-eyed peas?
Black-eyed peas is, I feel like so easy.
Okay, I need an adjective.
Fergolicious.
Slut.
No, I mean, Fergolicious, yeah.
Well, I need a plural noun.
Sluts in the background of the Fergolicious music video.
The sluts back there.
Yeah, background sluts.
The sluts in the back.
The sluts in the back, yeah.
Yeah.
Plural noun?
Plural noun, yeah.
You got the male sluts.
Yeah, male slut.
Yeah, a big male sluts.
Big time.
Man whores.
Man whores, yeah.
Number.
150.
150 sluts.
Adjective.
Fergalicious.
Adjective.
Musical.
Black-eyed peely.
Blackley
Noun
Apple D Appleap
Apple D app
Apple D app
Apple D app
So yeah
That's pretty obvious
Adjective
Dance
No that's stupid
Funky
Where is
Wait I'm trying to think of his song
Where is the love
I'll do funky
Okay funky
Furb ending in S
dances
What
Black eyed peasing
Lee
Black-eyed Peasingly
Black-eyed Peasingly's?
Black-eyed Peasingleys
Black-eyed-Peezeinglees
You clearly were going to just say black-eyed peas
And then you're...
Part of the body?
Black-eyed.
Black eyes.
Yeah, black eyes.
Yeah.
Noun.
Noun.
Taboo.
Will I am?
Taboo is, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Adjectitive.
Um
Taboo
Plural noun
Oh
Members
Of the black good piece
All right
What do we got?
Every four years
Countries from all over
What's the name of it?
Well, you'll find out
No, you have to say the name
You have to say the name of the
Okay, you can say it at the end if you want
Mm-hmm
By then it'll be too late
Every four years
Countries from all over the Fergie
send their best black-eyed peas
to compete in a
Fergolicious games
and win sluts in the back
Whoa
These events are called
the Olympic male sluts in the back
And they started 50 sluts years ago
In the furgh
A slut year is two
Yeah, two human years
In Fergolicious Greece
Wow
When a winner receives his or her
Black-Eat pea
Peasley. Peasley. Peasley medals at the games.
Peasingleys. No, that's further down.
Oh, okay.
Her black-eyed peasingly medals at the game. The national
Apple D. App of his or her country
is played by a funky band.
Oh, okay. Cool. I like funky music.
As the band, Black Eye Peasinglees,
the citizens of that country
put their taboo
or put their black eyes to their chest
and join in the singing of their national taboo
thanks to these
thanks to television
these taboo events can now be watched
by over a billion members
throughout the world every four black eyed peas
there are a billion members
yeah
they're a billion members
Apple the app taboo and Fergie
yeah yeah
is there like
a hidden fifth one?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Yeah, probably.
Who's next on the list?
Let's see.
On the list to do Madlips?
I guess that's me.
Next up is, well, yeah, I guess that would be you.
On the list of ugly women, it's Miley Cyrus.
What?
Hey, guys remember her ass cheek look like a fucking piece of turkey chicken.
Turkey chicken.
I don't remember that.
You remember this?
When they smashed her ass cheek completely flat with a mallet.
It looked like pieces of turkey chicken.
And it looked like a piece of turkey chicken.
You don't remember this?
No, what kind of adjective?
Oh, raw.
Yeah, raw turkey.
It looked like raw turkey.
And what plural things were there there?
Well, there was two ass cheeks.
Ass cheeks.
Yeah.
There was two of them.
And they both just looked like a complete chicken piece.
Really?
Yeah.
Or maybe a turkey salad.
Yeah, well, what's like another thing that it looks like?
Or like just a descriptor that you would use?
I would say probably white.
Well, yeah. Her white ass was as flat as a chocolate chip pancake.
Chocolate chip pancake. Interesting. I'm just taking notes on the episode for what I had in. I mean, I'm saying a lot of interesting things.
And when it happened, when it happened, was there a person in the room who was male?
I would say it was Robin Thick.
In more ways than one.
And it was at the BNAs. And what place did this happen?
On stage.
course she's a performer ain't she performer and what kind of performer at like what
slut slutty interesting and was there any other person in room
an audience of course and also a ferrell okay yep all right and feral what adjective would
use to describe him hat wearer hat wearing uh and were there any plural nouns there
Uh, there was, he probably had a backup hat, so it's like two big hats.
Mm-hmm.
Uh-huh.
And what part of the body, plural?
Chicken piece.
Or ass.
Or no, chicken piece.
Chicken pieces.
Yeah.
It's what her ass looked like to me.
Um, oh, I just, yeah, this, here's another, I just wanted to read a, this is actually a
funny, um, a post I found on a funny forum.
Oh, is it about mine's ours?
It's, uh, yeah, it's about, it's about, it's about, it's about from a movie forum.
Oh, a movie from movies.
It's from movies.
movies should be fun it says at the top
I'll just read it out
I agree with that
I mean I just know we like
The VMAs the video movie awards
Yeah we like to read funny
Yeah of course
I mean that's the whole point of the fucking show
Just to read funny things that we do right
Well here I found this on the internet
In recent years
There have been too many disaster movies
In which tall pieces of turkey chicken
Catch on fire
Raw dinosaurs come to life
And huge ass cheeks attack people in the ocean
What making you afraid to get out of your chicken piece
In the morning
True movie fans ask why we can't have more
what do they ask what a movie fans ask why we can't have more white pictures
it's a wonderful ass gone with the chocolate chip pancake or mr robin that goes to the
on stage these films made you feel slutty all over these same fans also ask why we
can't have more funny films with comedians such as laurel and
audience, and Abbott and Farrell.
These hat-wearing performers gave us great slapstick to have big hats that still makes our chicken pieces ache from laughing.
I do miss those white pictures.
Like Mr. Robin Thick goes to the on stage.
Mr. Robin Thick goes to the stage.
Goes to the on stage.
Goes to the on stage.
You don't get pictures like that anymore.
No.
Those white pictures.
Like Mr. Robin Thick goes to the on stage.
It's a wonderful ass.
Yep.
I'm so glad I went with hat wearer for Perel.
That was so genius of me.
Yeah.
Wow.
Well, I mean...
I mean, that's just a...
I feel like...
I mean, well, we just...
Yeah, I mean, a forum, but we got a little off track from the list.
Yeah.
I mean, should we just...
Is it worth going back to the list, or should we just do the first...
I kind of feel like we maybe close it out with a madlib.
Yeah, that makes sense.
That does make sense, because that's what we've been doing,
so it might as well close it out with one.
Yeah.
Yeah, let's, all right, let's close it out with a madlib, okay?
That'll be the end of the episode, and then next time we won't do any madlibs.
We'll do no madlibs at all in the future.
There will be no mad libs in the next episode.
Then that's a promise we can't keep.
But I'm pretty sure we won't do another, we won't.
And I know this episode's been like only a quarter madlives or something.
Yeah.
But still, that might be a little too much for some people.
So we'll just do next episode, no MadLibs at all.
And we're not going to make the entire podcast, only MadLibs from now until the end.
It's not going to be a podcast about Lips.
It's not going to become that really soon.
Madcast about Lips.
It won't be that.
No, definitely not.
It's an awful idea.
Who would want to listen to a terrible idea?
People doing Mad Lips.
It's one hour of people listening to MadLibs because they found it in the trash on the way over here.
How is that entertaining in any way?
It's not.
It's not.
People want to hear us.
It's way more important.
to read a list.
Exactly.
To say a bunch of celebrity names.
People want to hear us come up with new funny ideas and not just read
MadLibs.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, some people might argue that MadLibs are coming up with.
The whole thing of MadLibs is coming up with funny ideas.
But they're wrong because it's not an engaging thing for a podcast.
Anyway, okay, can one of you fuckers just give me a fucking adjective?
Fucker.
Fucking.
Fucking.
Okay, I think I have a direction in my head for this one.
All right.
Now, can someone just give me?
a person in the room that is not
Caleb and says,
Mr. Fuck.
Mr. Fuck.
Because I'll give you a noun, please.
Fuck.
Fucker.
Fucker.
All right.
Hey, I like it.
I like it a lot.
And an adjective maybe.
Fucking.
Can we go ass fucking.
Fucky.
Fucky.
Fucky.
Fucky.
I think we need to get a little more specific.
Can I get an adjective?
Motherfucky.
Motherfucky.
Okay.
It's kind of a George Carlin, Sam Kinnison kind of.
Madlip.
Can I get a number?
69.
69.
69.
Fucking 69.
Yeah, okay.
Fucking 69ing.
A noun, please?
Oh, a whole bunch of fuck.
Yep.
Whole bunch of fuck is perfect.
Whole bunch of fuck.
Buncha, we'll do that
Bunch of, yeah
Bunch of fuck
Uh, and a noun
A fucking bitch
Fucking bitch
Okay
Okay
That's some funny shit
And a plural noun
Motherfuckers
Motherfuckers
Okay
Motherfuckas
Yeah motherfuckers
With a Z
And another plural
noun please
Another fucking plural noun
fucking bitches
fucking bitches
fucking bitches
bitch ass fuckers
could be the next one
this is verb
ending in I and G
bitching
fucking bitching
fucking bitching
fucking and bitching
fucking and
and
bitching
a number
a number
100 or some bullshit
fucking 420
like a lot.
Or some bullshit.
Or some bullshit.
Or some bullshit.
B.S.
Yeah.
Adjective?
Fucking bullshit.
Yeah.
Fucking bullshit.
Uh huh.
Plural now?
Motherfucking bullshit and shit.
Yep.
Bullshit and shit.
Motherfucking bullshit and shit.
Motherfucking bullshit and shit.
Okay.
Fucking bullshit and shit.
That's plural.
Yeah.
It's bullshit and shit.
That's two things.
Okay.
And a verb?
Fucking.
Fucking.
Fucking.
Fucking.
And a noun?
Yeah.
Bitch ass motherfucker.
Bitch ass.
Motherfucker.
And a noun?
Mm.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Okay.
And an adjective?
Uh, motherfucker.
Motherfucking crazy as fuck.
Motherfucking crazy as fuck.
Okay.
What's the name of this one?
This is Holiday Weather Report.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
All right.
So, guys, this is the last one we're doing.
Uh-huh.
Holiday Weather Report.
Holiday weather report.
Good evening and fucking holidays.
I'm Mr.
Fuck with your local weather fucker
First, the good news
We're going to have a traditional fucking Christmas
A motherfucky snowstorm is heading our way
You can expect three to fucking
69 feet
Of what the fuck does that say?
A whole bunch of fuck
To accumulate before the end of this
fucking bitch
Plus several more motherfuckas
of snow
by midnight.
And you may want to put on your warm fucking bitches.
Overnight, the temperature is going to drop below fucking a bitching level
with a wind chill of negative fucking 420 or some bullshit degrees.
Now the bad news.
Driving conditions will be extremely fucking bullshit.
I strongly suggest you stay off the motherfucking bullshit and shit.
at home, hunker down, light a bitch-ass
motherfucking in the fireplace, and watch the fuck
Flakes fall. And most importantly,
have a motherfucking crazy as fuck Christmas.
No, that was a good one.
Yep. That was the best one.
Do we have something to announce? Do we have something to announce?
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. All you
all you fucking fuckers.
All your motherfuckers in the Pacific Northwest.
You fucking crazy-ass fucking motherfucking northwest.
You fucking crazy-ass fucking crazy-ass fuckers.
And fucking Seattle and Portland.
Mark your goddamn fucking calendars because we're, uh, motherfucker, we're going to be in you.
Yep.
Yeah.
So we're doing some live shows in the PNW.
Portland, Portland's going to be on, on August 18th.
And then we're doing an early and late show in Seattle on the 19th.
of August. Yep. And we're going to
motherfucking dick's burgers and we're going to
eat them damn burgers. And we're going to, uh,
motherfucking, it's going to be like
a motherfucking twin peaks. Yep. And that needle
is, that needle is going in my mouth.
Uh-huh. We're going to go to sea skate and
we're going to, we're going to make it not smooth
anymore. That's right. I don't know what he's talking about.
It's too smooth at sea skate. We're going to go to,
so. We're going to go to Cafe Racer
and we're going to go to the Obama.
Shut! All you real-ass, badass, badass, motherfuckers
head to, uh, swag poop.
dot fucking com slash shows yeah uh and i think we'll have the ticket links up by the time this
comes up but if not uh they'll be up very very soon you motherfucker yeah motherfucker
yeah yeah you have to go to what motherfucker what motherfucker what i don't care about that you know what
the obama is yeah yeah but go go buy some tickets for that because that's uh that's the actual
last shows on the tour i guess yeah yeah all right everyone got fooled all right bye bye