Podcast About List - Ep. 204 - Let’s Analyze Lil Wayne

Episode Date: August 17, 2022

PORTLAND is TOMORROW NIGHT and SEATTLE is NIGHT AFTER THAT. BUY TICKETS: www.swagpoop.com/shows more episodes at www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist

Come in, come in, come in, and we see a butt. All the counts to the ball list. Every crap monster. It's on tabletops, and we took too many shots. And we danced on table tops last Friday night. And we danced on table tops. It's off because I'm off of work, and I'm going back to church. It's Sunday morning.

Dude, that would be incredible. That'd be a good party. Last Sunday morning, we got down onto our knees. Put our hands together, please. Yeah, he died upon the cross. And when he died, we all were lost. Before he died, we all were lost. Put him in a coffin box, the death of Christ.

In the Sunday morning fog, he was singing to a frog. Which I think is in the Bible. And he got killed by those whops. Last Friday night, because it was the Italians that killed him, right? And because he did turn into a man after the prince, after Mary Magdalene. Mary Magdalene found a frog that had a cane and a top hat. He was running around. Cain and then Jesus, he was a frog.

And he was running around, he was running around, hello my baby, hello my darling, hello my ragtime gal. He gave him a kiss, right? He gave him a kiss and then, bam. Well, he said, bam, he became schizophrenic. He said, I'm going to become a... He said, give me a kiss, and I'll turn into a prince. She didn't realize Prince of Princes. Wow.

King of Kings, Lord of Lords. Sunday of Sunday, Sunday of Sunday. Back in that time, like back in Christ's era. Yeah, what year? It's one, year one. Yeah, year one. Do you think they had schizophrenia back then? Probably not, because there wasn't phones and technology.

Yeah, and there was no doctors to say that you had it. Yeah, they didn't have anything. Because the doctor, they had either bad blood or good blood. And they would just be like, something is different about you. Yeah. Something is happening to you, but it's not a thing. Yeah. They really didn't know what to say.

I guess that was all just like possessions. That's what you would go to a, you would go to a healer, not a doctor. No, they did have doctors. You would go to the doctor and you say, I broke my foot or I'm sick and they'd be like, well, why are you telling me? I don't know what to do. I haven't invented anything. Yeah.

Well, no, what happened is they go, you'd go and you'd be like, I have a fever and I'm, I'm, there's not coming out of my nose and I just want to sleep all the time and then you go they would say well something's clearly wrong with you but it's not a thing or anything yeah there's not like a thing out of yeah there's not something why are you telling me all these things together what i don't know what to tell you like sorry your body is something with your body is happening i have this happening to me this is happening me and they'd say i'm sorry yeah that was and that was what that's what the hypocritic oath is that was that was what doctors did until like 1950 was they were just people that you'd go to and they'd be like, I'm so sorry that's happening.

Yeah, something. That's really, really awful. And then they'd be, and then, okay, the bill, a hundred coins. And then for a while, dude, I hate 100 coins. Back then, that was a lot of money. Coins have gone way, way down in price. But they used to be worth a lot of money. And then at one point, I think the first thing they invented was putting a hole in a

woman's head because she got too angry about something. Yeah. They used to just prescribe women a vibrator and say, you need to, hey, you need to go calm down. They used to prescribe women, they used to prescribe women a guy named the Vibrator. Yeah. There's old, there's old ads you can look up. It's like, it's literally, it's for stuff that it's like to treat hysteria. They used to just make women ride the Sibian, basically.

Yeah. Which Howard Stern is probably the closest thing we have. To a doctor. To a doctor. No, just to a doctor. Yeah. Never met one, for real. It is, it's so awesome to, like to see a woman ride a simian.

yeah that i monkey there is a picture that somebody got yelled at for posting once someone got yelled at so yeah patrick yelled at him because he was he got scared yeah scared there was a picture that someone got yelled at for posting once what does that mean it was like a group chat where he would send pictures of apes and stuff and somebody sent a picture of a chip eating a woman out really yeah it's amazing how much how much video and photo there is online of people having sex with animals. Yeah. It pops up in crazy places.

It just comes up. It just comes up. It just is on Twitter and stuff. A couple weeks ago. You never saw that one? I saw it and I was like, and I saw the setup and it was like a woman and a dog on a bed. I was like, oh, it's a camera trick. Yeah, there's no way to dare. It's fourth perspective.

It's like the Lord of the Rings. Running away from that video. The dog is actually really far away from her. Running away from that video, like you're one of the first people to see train arriving at the station. Yeah. I was like, there's no way that this is what's actually happening. This is going to be some kind of joke video, Vine-style thing. And then it cuts to the, they're doing that, the, like, worst angle in porn thing of behind the guy's butthole and you see his balls.

But instead, it was a dog's asshole, and he's fucking her in her thing. Yeah. I like that angle. I didn't. I didn't like it. I think that's the best angle. I think it's the best angle in porn. I love seeing the balls.

I wish it was just that angle. Yeah. But I just, I can't believe. Shouldn't you be in jail for posting that? Yeah, it does seem like there should be like a thing that you're not allowed to post. But I guess people just post it. Yeah, I feel like beastiality and CP laws should be

the same. You think that there should be more CP on Twitter? No. Yeah. Yeah. If you post a video of somebody fucking a dog, you should get penalized the exact same as like posting.

I kind of agree. It's the freaking woman getting penalized by the dog. Penalized. for the crime of being penalized by a dog. You will be penalized. You have been sentenced to having sex with a human man. Aw. No.

You will be penalized by a man. Aw. Woo-hoo. Do. Marge, I don't want to be penalized by a man. You got to be penalized by a man, homie. I don't want to. He's so similar to me.

I want a dog, Homer. Homer, I want a dog. Marmer. Marger. Marmer. Marr. Barty. No. I want a donut. Woo-hoo. That's just Mo. That's just Mo.

That's just Moe. That sounds more like Selma. Mo is kind of Homer and Marge. He's a complete double. Is that what you call it? A mixture. He's a mixture. He's a hybrid. Momer.

Wait a second. Yeah. Marge Homer. Oh my God. He literally is a hybrid momer hard. He is a Momer-Harge. Because her last name is Marge, and his last name... The last name used to be Bouvier. What?

Marge Boveeier. Beverage. Marge's B... Marge's B... Marge's B... When I see Marge's... Let me see Marge's Boobier. Bovier, take some letters out of that. It spells bar.

True. Mo's bar. Oh, shit. It's most tavern. It's an ER at the end, so it says burr. That's how you spell bar. Burr. Isn't it called Moose?

Gouche Maine was on the Simpsons. No, he wasn't. A tavern is a bar, okay, let's not get. I don't think Gucci-Me was on The Simpsons, was he? He was on Simpsonsfimee.com. That's what I saw him on. That's what it was. That counts.

Yeah, I just found out my whole family on Facebook was on The Simpsons. How the fuck did you guys get on the Simpsons? How did you guys got the Simps and Rick and Morty, too? Holy shit. And South Park? Holy crap. My uncle was on Southbark. Look.

And you're hanging out with these dancing elves on jib-jabs? Oh, my God. My uncle is a fox having sex with another fox. what's that i was on his devian art account oh okay yeah yeah me and pat came up with some new vines earlier oh yeah oh yeah yeah well we came over one one because caleb which is here's here's what the vine would be yeah it would be like it would be me we need to bring vines back and come up with new vines it would be me and i'm sitting at the coffee shop and i say one hot coffee please right and then i get my coffee and i walk out and then pat is sitting at the entrance and he

He's holding the weather app on his phone. What do you say? He says, he's drinking a hot coffee in the hot summer. Make it make sense. I like that a lot. I think it's a good idea. I have a suggestion. He's drinking a hot coffee in the hot summer.

The thing about that is it's so easily faked that I think that... What do you mean? Just to make it just so people that people... Yeah, you could deep fake the coffee being hot. They can be nice coffee. Just so people really will connect with it on a deeper level. I think maybe you add kind of an establishing shot at the beginning when you're kind of ordering your coffee or whatever. It's lighter than usual.

You have... We're taking a super shower up there. It's, uh, you should... It shows the thermometer. It's not the weather. It shows the thermometer. Like a mercury thermometer. Like a mercury thermometer.

And it's rising up and it's going to like 120 degrees. So we can film this after this. Yeah, we can go film it. We'll film it and post it. But there's going to be basically a video. I'm going to be leaving a coffee shop. And Patrick will say... He's ordered a hot coffee.

He just ordered a hot coffee. In the hot summer. Yeah, in the hot summer. Make it make sense. Make it make sense. And then some... And then do a flip. And then maybe.

Maybe I could get like knockout game or something. Yeah, they take the hot coffee. If you could do a, wouldn't it be so awesome if you could do a flat ground backflip? Because that is the perfect ending to any video. Yeah. It's like, if somebody's filming you, you just do a backflip. If you get in a car accident with somebody and they start filming you because they like need the car insurance thing, if you say, if you're yelling at them, I didn't rearrange you. As soon as you see that camera, if you could just bust out a backflip, you're going to be a legend.

Also like, yeah, you try, you try to shoplift something, right? you put a candy bar in your pocket you look up you notice a security camera oh shit backflip have you seen that video are raiding your you're getting swatted right if if there's a swat video of of them busting in your door and you see them and just instantly do a backflip they won't shoot you you're going to circ to select have you seen that video it's like some comedian posted it i forget who but they it's like uh a video of like the performers at harry potter world ending and they go up in the in the front of the crowd and do a backflip and then walk back into the crowd.

That's sick. It's so fucking funny. Yeah, see, like, if I could do a back flip. That one, and then the other one, there's a different guy. I would be actively trying to get. There's this guy in Philly, and his thing is he goes into, like, stores and stuff, and, like, while people are, like, behind him. He just does a backflip. He goes, like, while he does the backflip.

Uh-huh. So, like, there's a video of a guy at the counter, and he's, like, arguing, like, with the owner of the store and he goes and starts pulling bags of ice out of the freezer and then just like fully does a backflip. Oh yeah, that is a funny video. That is a really good one. I think I would probably try, I would be, it would

be like, for me, I would want to do like maskless Karen harasses store clerk for not pulling down mask and then does perfect backflip before leaving. Maskless Karen, but they don't realize you're, you are wearing a mask but it's one of those Obama masks. Or it's a Karen mask. It's a Karen mask. Oh shit. Yeah. But just the idea of

I'm maybe I'm a maskless Karen. I'm yelling like, take that mask off. What? It's not going to kill you. What are you a pussy or something? Watch this. And then just suddenly flip in the middle of it and then keep yelling at them and then leave.

Pretend it didn't happen. Why'd you backflip? What do you even talk about? You're crazy. Yeah. See, if you could just do perfect backclips with no fatigue. Yeah. And you could backflip like a hundred times in a row.

A really similar thing to that that I would really like to be able to do is complete hands-free vomit. Yeah. Definitely. that's another perfect video thing in the store just hands free nutting people say that's good too people say oh i can you but that would get you sent to jail that's the problem with that one i wish i could vomit on command you can't vomit on command but it's obvious there's a there's a lead-up yeah yeah you have to like you have to like try like i can make myself vomit at any point in time yeah i got to try exactly i want to be instantly no provocation i want even i want something i can do it with a thought no my brother

This instant Vombe is spewing out of my mouth. My brother used to have acid reflux so bad that he could just make himself spit up on command. That used to happen to me every morning. I can kind of do that. He would kind of like, like, he would do that after he ate like fucking Jeff Goldblum in the fly.

He'd sit there and go like, and then just like, so crazy. Acid reflux sucks. It will ruin your life. I've been getting it really, really bad. Two years for me. Me too. Remember that? Remember we went to New York for the first time when I was taking Prilosec?

And I literally like, I was, like, anxious all the fucking time because I had that allergic reaction. I was, like, covered in hives. And I just, like, my heart rate was up fucking crazy. And then what did you decide to do? I smoked a joint. Yep. And I smoked a stranger's fucking dope.

It wasn't a stranger. It was my friend Marion Zohy's. It was strange dope. My friend, Marion Zohy's. He was their weed. Who's Marion Zohies? No, I'm playing. Yeah.

And I smoked one hit of their spliff, and I freaked the fuck out. Yep. Because you know what? You know what the worst thing that happened after that? The worst part is, he's right in front of a fucking Eidoli. Yeah. Yeah. I was in front of an Eidly.

The fuck is Eidly. I was in front of Italy. In front of Italy. Madi and Zali in front of the Italy. Yeah. Yeah, that's Mario Battali's place, right? Eidly? No.

Mario Battali's place is prison. Eadley is owned by Mario Battali. Basically a huge, it's not. I can't look it up, but it's owned. by Mario Battali Italy Italy Mario Battali I don't think it is

because I don't think they would let that happen well it auto completes here well but that's because he's Italian a lot of different a lot of different city and the fate

once the crown jewel is this let's see here Italy finally cuts ties with Mario Battali okay all right he was completely right but now he's not

I also knew he was right that's why I didn't say anything and that's why I looked it up I knew that Mario Battaglio had it. I don't even really know anything about Italy, but that's probably the only thing I know about Italy. It's like a huge, it's like a whole foods, but it's only like try hard fake Italian food.

Yeah. Yeah. But it's really fun to walk around. They have really stinky meat. Yeah. You know, like dry-aged meat? Harmoni barico. I'm trying not to eat that much meat anymore.

Really? Why's that? I went to the doctor. I have really high cholesterol. Really? You have high cholesterol? I have high cholesterol. Can you believe that?

I really can't. Yeah. How did they test that? I got I went in there and they took out like six vials of my blood files I hate having blood take I like it I'm kind of freaky like that I don't like you told me you hated it when you got it done I'm keeping you accountable my grandpa you said it scared you no my grandpa will go give blood and he'll like push his arm down and like do this and shit try to make it go faster that's funny it doesn't bother him it was he I feel like that's the thing you would do if it did bother if you

want it to be over no he's like he's like doesn't why else would you do it why If you didn't bother you, why don't you just sit there? Maybe he does, maybe he is a little baby, but why is he giving blood? For the cause. I hate the cause. Oh, he might like it, though. Yeah. Oh, that's a really good point.

Also, what is the cause when you give blood? If people are dying, they might want your blood. Who the fuck is dying from no blood? Bloodless Joe. Who's that? Fucking guy, I know. Yeah, he needs a lot of blood. He's a shit.

Well, it's also if someone's blood gets, like, dirt in it or something. They're like, you need, we need, you have. clean blood because if you put soap in the blood to try and clean out the dirt it's like now there's soap in there too medical mysteries are just mysterious i used to give blood um i find them fascinating i had like like i think i gave blood like twice in a month once holy shit no way um they were giving out free hats you needed two hats they're giving up free hats at uh is that that's like a plot line to something that's like a t-huh that's like a t-a-talline to something that's like TV show plot line that I've seen before, I think.

Yeah, they gave out a free hat, but then I was like, oh, it's like a hat that just says, like, I donated blood or something. And I had a, I got a sweatshirt from it, too. What TV show is that from? That's straight up as a TV show. I don't know. I remember I got hired as a fucking, are you thinking of... I got hired one time as this fucking, as a fry cook at, um, this fucking stupid ass

restaurant. The blood restaurant. I was pretty excited about it, but then all these, uh, there's all these anchovies they show up, so they're going to meep, meep, meep, because they were just, so hungry. And I'm trying to make all the burgers I can, but it's actually really hard, and I started surfing their bodies like a wave, right? And at the end of the, I mean, of the

story. I was giving blood with my mom and, like, two of my aunts. Yeah, my mom, Marge and my aunt, Selma and the other one. Uh-huh. And, um, but basically, I was working at this at this restaurant and, uh, my boss, listen, God bless him. Fat daughter.

Yeah. Like a whale level. Also, Patrick was telling us the plot line of an office episode. I just looked up. the plot live and oven office episode. Yeah. I think I've heard, I think, uh, that happened to me too. There's an episode in the office, so they do that. And I remember one time he wants cookies.

He wants cookies. Yeah, cookies, not a free. Okay, that's a little bit of a stress camera. That is a huge stretch. He's not ripping off the office because there's, I thought it was a free hat and I looked it up and it was cookies. Also, that's based off of real life. People get shit for giving blood.

And literally, that's also a joke from the jerk where Navin just gives a bunch of his blood. I haven't seen the, well, then why didn't you say that? when I was asking what it was from. You're trying to cover something up? No. Listen, I'll, I'll concede the point, but. I have the, I have the sweatshirt.

I ran out of hats. No, it's a sweatshirt. Hey, I don't, yeah. All right. This is actually, the story's changing. You might be right on to something. I think we need to do an investigation full French. There's a green.

I don't remember him mentioning that. St. Jude's hospital. The thing is red is blood. You would get some kind of red souvenir for giving blood. See, that's what I thought they were going to have more blood-themed stuff. But it was not even blood-themed. It was more hospital-themed than blood-themed. You're saying it like they have some kind of like

Chucky Cheese reward cabinet where you come up and you're like, I gave X amount of blood and you're like, why is there no blood stuff here? I have my donor card. That is how they should do it though. Yeah. You should be able to, the amount of milliliters you give, you should be able to come.

I would like to get a PS5. Yeah. You should be able to save it up too. Yeah, exactly. They put it on a little card. You come back next time. You're like, I fucking think I have some tickets in here somewhere. Yeah.

I got my donor card. Oh, no. Brough. I got my homer card. Wait, no, I don't. Doe. Doe. Wait, I just found it.

Dooh. Woo-hoo. Woo-hoo. It's my vaccine card. These are drink tickets. Oh, there's a picture of me and Cameron as... As what? Oh, as babies.

I have that picture on my fridge. You guys have known each other since you were babies? Check it out. Hand it over to him. These are a bunch of drink tickets. I met you guys like four years ago. He's there a bunch of drink tickets I never redeemed. Holy shit.

Come on, everybody. You kept them in your wallet? I don't know what I have them. You broke piece of shit. I was like, yeah, if I come back next week. You have a tattered, you take it out of your wallet, a tattered drink ticket. You're not on the show. You're like, yep, that's pretty fire.

That is dope. You robbed them of cards. He's hiding away the picture of us as babies. He doesn't want you to see here because he thinks that. I had to recently go through. Okay, let me look at this picture. So I'll be the judge of this. Let me describe it to everyone who can't see it.

All right, so I see two babies. What the hell? I don't have my blood donor card anymore. I think it's at home. Wait, here's a... Okay, I don't remember you guys ever going to India. Oh, here's my old... You went to India?

This pretty... Here's my old debit card that they canceled. So if anyone wants that, the number is 4117. This is some kind of... You're in some foreign country, and you're wearing kind of like cloth diapers. Uh-huh. But you're grown men there. Where?

Right here. Yeah, we're grown men there. And then above your babies and then underneath, I really, I think those are also babies. You guys look lily white. I'll tell you that much. Okay. Oh, here's something. Here's my prescription card for my eyes.

You're just going through your wallet. You don't have anything like nothing crazy happened. Do you want to hear something crazy that happened? Nobody last night got completely hit by a car, nothing like that. Do you want to hear something that was? Oh, shit. Here's my donor card. Okay.

I am blood-tight. A positive, but also here is the business card for Stephen Vega. Oh, the pit bull impersonator. The pit bull impersonator that my friend Charlie hired for his runway show. I think the wallet needs to go in the phone circle. Yep, I agree. I think that this is now a wallet and phone circle, because somehow you're doing your phone with your wallet right now.

Donor ID 214-160. Something that happened to me the other night that was not funny at all. It was very scary. Yeah. As I was sleeping and I woke up. And you know when you're like first wake up and you kind of are still dreaming a little bit and you can just like see stuff, like a weird dream hallucination in the real world or whatever? Yeah, yeah. You get a little floaters. Yeah. Well, so I had one where I woke up and I was like half awake and my like dream, waking dream hallucination was just my bedroom door. Scary. So scary. One of the scariest things.

It's crazy. I've ever seen. Yeah, I had a scarier dream. I had a one where just Darth Mall cut me and I was closing Cameron's door. Really? Why was that scary for you? because there was a monster because it was between you a door between you guys as friends and you couldn't hang out

yeah I had a dream that we were all in the same room but I was like you guys were like two feet close to each other like you there's two feet between you and there's like 15 feet between me and you guys so you guys were talking and like laughing and stuff and I was being like what

what did you say yeah like that and it was really scary yeah I told you guys about my Patrick's neck dream oh Patrick and my dream Patrick got stung on the neck by a bug that's so scary his neck swelled up really huge so it was like the size of his head

and then he was walking around to us and be like guys I think something's wrong with my neck and he kept me like Patrick there's something really wrong with your neck you have to go to the doctor I've had a dream in days I've been having some weirdies oh yeah anything crazy well that was pretty crazy

I already told you about my dream movie idea kidnapped by Dracula escape. Yeah. Yeah, you did tell us about that. I think we turned it as a whole dream I had last night. But I had a dream, because I had like, I was going to see a doctor today and I like fell asleep and woke up and I think

I had a dream that I already went. To the doctor? Yeah. And then I was just like, hmm. I hate that. I hate when I wake up from a dream where I was doing what I'm planning to do during the day. Yeah. I get confused.

I get really confused. Whether or not you did it or not, you know. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I wake up confused every single time. I've never woken up and immediately known where I was, even in my own bed. That was the worst on tour when I would wake up and be like, oh, I'm at home. And then, like, I roll over and I see one of you guys.

And I'm like, I am not at home. Wait, what is wrong with seeing us in the mornings? Well, sometimes I just want to roll over in my bed and just start whacking off. You can do that. It wouldn't bother me if you whacked off. Sometimes I just want to just roll over and just pull on my Johnson. I'm good enough. Johnson like it's owing me a free like it owes me a sass Toyota C&S if I'm I'm good enough

friends with you that if you if we were sharing a bed in a hotel room you were like Caleb I really have to whack off but the bathroom is broken I'd be like yeah you can whack off I'm not gonna whack off in front of my friends I'm just saying if you need it I don't want you know I don't look at it I don't even want them to hear the J.O I have to watch I'm probably yeah and I have to watch it you're the size of a P and I'm the size of a P and I'm I'm a big monster. I have to watch... I have to watch J-O-I's because...

Not because it, like, turns me on or anything, because I genuinely forget how to do it every time. You're watching it like... I'm like, oh, interesting. And it's to the tune of the chicken dance or something. Or no, left foot and right foot out. Yeah. You're doing the hokey-pokey-pokey with your penis.

Yeah. And I'm just keep going like... Oh, right. Oh, that's what it was. I make a circle with my finger. Oh, yeah. Do you guys, do you ever do a one circle jackoff? No.

You only make one circle and it feels like you're fucking a ring. My hand is so much bigger. My hand is so much bigger than my penis. You have to use your, you have to use your foot. Yeah. I have to use my, I have to use my hand is so much bigger than my penis. I have to use my damn pinky. Yeah.

I have to use my damn pinky and my ring finger just so it doesn't feel like it's tiny like a mouse. Yeah. Tiny like a mouse. I have to use, I have to use an oven mitt because of the strange. the first way i learned strange textures i don't know how to wash it the first way i learned how to masturbate was was using just i would make a circle i would fuck it like a two fingers like a dainty gentleman and i used to use soft soap i used to use soft soap the hand soap and now every time i smell it at people's houses it gives me a boner wow yeah do i have soft soap in my house no you don't he just tie a string on my penis then shut the door really fast Your big brother's like, no, it's going to work for real this time. This is going to make you bust. I would do, I used to do, I would roll around in the grass, so I'd have to go outside every time.

Completely naked, like a worm roll. Like a worm? Riggle. Yeah, I'd do a worm wriggle. You ever hear somebody say that they grew up, they would, like, hump their couch? Yeah. Yeah, that's really weird. What do you mean hump the couch?

I don't understand how that, like, works or feels good. Also, I think it probably. Like, that fucks you up as an adult because you're looking for people who want to, who just look like couches, maybe. Yeah, also the couches. You should at least do it to, like, your own bed. Yeah. And there's certain things, like, a chair from, uh, from Peewee's playhouse. Or like a globe from Peeley's playhouse.

Or like, uh, eyes, I think he should be out of, like, a genie box. Yeah, something like that. Or like the leg lamp. For a wish. And maybe you could have wished for a pussy from Jombie. Do you think that Lego figures fuck the holes in each other's heads? No, they fuck the holes on the pants There's four holes there though

Yeah, they have to put on But they also have a hole in their head It's like they're wasting it I mean That's what a blow job is to it Is they get fucked They take their head off And they've been fucked

Longways down their head Or the top of it Well Lego Man doesn't have a penis You don't know that They don't make a no pants They're trying to burst your fucking bubble But no a Lego man doesn't have a penis I would let a Lego man burst my bubble

Yeah I'll burst my bubble If you say he does have a penis interesting there goes my bubble here's a bubble I gotta show you I think I burst my bubble

all over I just burst in my bubble yeah that's like somebody walks in you're covered and cum

a bubble burst it's kind of like a medieval like the four humors type of way of understanding

calm in your body there's a bubble in you and sometimes it bursts and sometimes it bursts bursts do you guys know how to have

more cum no because I would love to get more cum going on. I think there's something... Really? Yeah, I assume that puts more in your body. I think it's zinc. I think if you take a bunch of zinc. We'll tell you what I had today.

Super O-O-K, or no, Swear-O-X. Swer-O-X. Electrolite beverage. Guess what this has in it? Zero sugar. Zero calories. With zinc to help boost immune system. Guess what else it has eight of? Calories? Ions. I think it's zinc. I don't know.

I think... I think it's stink. It makes your nut whiter. Zinc? No, it's one of those... Wainter. You haven't you heard the mnemonic device? Zinc make it stink.

Does zinc make it stink? Zinc make it stink. Magnesium make it pleasing him. Oh. Vitamin B makes it P. Yeah. You're just peeing when you come down. Yeah, same vitamin C also makes it P.

Vitamin D also makes it P as well. Vitamin E does not make it P. No, vitamin E makes it erect. Makes it good for she. Yeah. So magnesium is for him. Pleasing him. Pleasing him.

Vitamin E is for. They make skateboard trucks out of magnesium. Isn't that weird? That's because all skateboarders like to be pleasing him. Yep. Come on. Pound that out. Pound that out real long.

Give me a long one. Give me a long pounder. He wants to be pounded out by his boy friend. He wants to be pounded out by his boyfriends. We just pounded each other a long way. He wants to be pounded up by his boyfriend. Oh, yeah, because it's got a fish oil in it. CCH pounder.

Yeah. Because fish oil makes you. Your thing, Boyle. From the Shield. The Shield? I love that show. CCH Pounder. Her name is CCH Pounder?

Yeah, there's a very funny, always sunny clip. I don't know. I don't know. Dennis does an impression of her, and then D. Does something racist and hilarity ensues. That show is honestly funny, but I do find that the characters are like not exactly the They're unlikable. Best people.

Well, here's the thing. If you idolize them, you're watching the show wrong. Well, I watch it upside down. that's the right way that's the right way that's the right way to watch you're watching it wrong in two ways it's a double negative

you're wrong in two ways because you're yep because you go both ways and both ways are wrong yeah yeah I think both ways are wrong yeah I'll say it all right

I think that you should be doing a third way third way like Andrew Yang yep third way right down the middle I'm not fucking men I'm not fucking women

yeah I think hey people some these these people nowadays they're going both ways when they should be focusing on the eight-fold path. Here's the thing. Nowadays, everybody's going both ways, but we can't even get our politicians

to fund roads that go both ways. They're all fucking one-way. And they have a guy that goes one way with guys in charge of the roadways now. They do. Pete Buttigieg. And he goes one way with guys. He goes one way with Chastin.

He goes one way. I wish he was chased. Yeah, then maybe he would get all the roads. Oh, Chast. Okay, yeah. Yeah, then maybe he would get all the roads working on time. Basically, these roads are going both ways, and I'm like, well, that's why I'm late

everywhere, because bisexual people are fucking late. Yep. Everywhere. Yeah. And they're late on their periods. Because they don't, because they have a kid. Oh, I don't know. Because they're getting filled up with nut. By both ways. By both ways. From both directions. From both sides. And they get

completely filled to the brain with nut. And both sides of our system are is totally fucked. Both sides of the aisle. I hear bisexuality is basically the new viral dance move. It's pretty much viral. Yeah.

It's completely viral to be bisexual. It's spreading. I would say that's true. Yeah. That's what a lot of people are saying. There's a lot of discourse online about, is bisexuality just viral? Or is it like a dance that stays like the whip and the locomotive? The locomotive?

You know the song? Come on, come on do the loomotive. Oh, yeah. Locomotion. Locomotion. That's what you're thinking of. You know what needs to come back is hula hoopers. The hula hoopers.

There's a lot of, uh, there's a lot of, there's a undergris. There's a lot of people, if you look up hashtag hula hoop on Instagram, there's a lot of women. Really? What are they wearing? A lot of grown women with a lot of tattoos and dreadlocks doing, doing hula hoop videos. I saw the crazy, I just saw, I saw, I saw the craziest white guy dreads near. your house, Caleb, the other day.

It was a while ago. It was maybe two weeks ago. But that just made it remember. I don't even like what level. Wait, is it a fat guy, kind of fat white dude who has, he doesn't have dreads, but he has like four braids coming off his head?

No, I think he had like, he was wearing like super reflective sunglasses and he had like, it was. There's like a Paul Wall style white guy with like, I don't know. Maybe it was him. I think it was, I think it was braids, not dreads.

But he has so few of them that it looks like spider legs coming off his head and he's always talking to somebody and just being like

da wah we waw he sounds like that wow like talking into a fan wawa do wewa

yeah um okay pee we we rapper yeah so what does that

remind you of it reminds me of it reminds me of this list yeah that I've pulled up here that is called

the 50 worst Lil Wayne lines examining the so-called best rapper alive. And who, what is this? His aura was orange? This is from a blog called His aura was orange. So is that

probably this guy, somebody told him you can't rhyme anything with orange. And he said his aura. Yeah, well it says he actually has on the sidebar right here where my blog got its name from. So he actually disproves you right there. Can you disprove me then? It's a, it's a Charlie Murphy quote. Oh. Yeah. Oh, I'm Rick James, bitch.

Oh, okay. Is that quote? Yeah, it's basically that quote. He must have mistranslated it. Yeah. Um, so let's just... Wow, he has quotes in the sidebar from Thomas Payne, Albert Einstein, the Honorable Sass. And then this one that is unattributed. Listen, I've never really listened to Little Wayne. It's just not my kind of type of music or anything.

So like, what, I mean, what even could these lyrics be? Are they probably about maybe, uh, drug abuse? Maybe like a miss officer. That's what I'm, maybe like, maybe like a female. He actually has a lot of lyrics about female police officers. Really? You're a little Wayne. You're familiar with this work.

You must be some kind of little one does. I prefer the works of Tony Hawk Pro Skater 5. I prefer the works of Rothko. Me too. Yeah. I would say, Bosch. Yeah.

I would say like... Kevin Federer. Nietzsche. Uh-huh. It's kind of my version of Little Wayne for a lot of these people. Kevin Federline. Not, I'm not familiar. Mcloven, I know that movie.

Mcloven. Why'd they never do a Mcloven spin-off called McLevin? Where is a detective? That would be so. so good. That I can't believe that they didn't do that. They should have called it super detectives. They should have just called it Mcloven.

And it was Evan and it was Evan and Seth. And instead of being in high school, it's them as detectives. Super clues. They should have called it. Super bad was that murder that we have to investigate now. That's actually true. Super bad. Nothing that bad happens in the movie now.

Maybe if there was some kind of, well, if there was some kind of bad, what happens? Underage drinking. Well, that's true. But if there was some kind of like, like super bad happens. is like a holocaust or like a mass murder. I think the creators of that movie have relatives who were in the Holocaust. Yeah, so they have the perfect kind of cultural background to tell that story because that was super bad. Yeah.

Now, anyway, there's an editor's note to open this kind of, it's kind of an article. It opens us with an article written by this guy or a blog post, I guess. Editor's note, this is a weak man on the microphone, ladies and gents, and it takes a strong man who loves hip-hop and loves his aura was orange to put as much time and dedication and adore things. things no man ought in door, like listen to Dwayne Carter's songs and lyrics to show you how much this guy truly sucks. All I ask in return is that you hear me out or at least consider the facts that I've painstakingly amassed and tell me at the conclusion whether I'm justified in what I say or I'm clinically insane. That is all. This guy sounds, uh, he's almost, I'm suspecting him to be a member of intelligentsia. Yeah, like a mensa. Like a, like, like the coffee company.

Oh. You know? So like, I've already, I've already, listen, I've only been kind of paying attention to this rapper style thing for a couple minutes and I feel like I've already taken some of the slang up. Yeah, it's like I prefer Starbucks anyway. It's much more of a... Exactly, yeah. Notes of flavor. Yeah. The notes of flavor are... All right, well, let's get into this. So I really would like to... I mean, I don't know much about Little Wayne, but I'd like to know, you know? Because I don't know what side of the aisle I land on yet. Yeah, I've never listened to Little Wayne. Um, do we want to read... I mean, he's written a huge, I don't know if we want to pick out. Does anything stand out here? Wayne is the biggest bullshit artist,

product of an extremely weak-era ass wrapper. It's ridiculous. He forces so much garbage that either makes little sense, no sense at all, or just no thought or cleverness to its basic second-grade simplicity. He cheapens metaphors

in a way that I've only seen Fabulous do. What's wrong with Fabulous? I cringe every time I see his spike from Grimlin's face or hear his prepubescent voice getting ready to murder in the bad way as a song. He's as deep as a YMCA

kitty pool. Wow. Oh, that's rough. And listen, I don't know much about this little Wayne character, but I do, if it, he says on top of all that, the dude is way too cocky. Yeah. So I want to, I hate cockiness. Me too. Raggedosiousness and that kind of thing. This line I think

covers that perfectly, too, that I would like to read for you guys. If he didn't have this self-important attitude and cockiness, then he wouldn't leave himself open to this kind of criticism. But when he calls himself the best rapper alive, then he deserves the scrutiny, and he's not just rapping for fun. And in a lighthearted manner and we should all who consider ourselves true fans of the genre take off the kitty

gloves when dealing with him okay the gloves are off mr mr wayne or dway what his name is dwayne but he says but his rapper name is i think his name is dwayne little that makes no sense what if i said my name was alib i just drop a letter yeah a let or if i was like camer not i think about it a lib is kind of cool if my name was like camer is kind of cool atrick at rick at rick not that Great. Maybe I would just go by like, Patrick is just with one seed. By like Rick the ruler. No, you can't add extra things. You have to just change one letter for your name.

Well, Lil Wayne added Lil. That's more of an adjective. Yeah, so you could be like ruler Rick. Yeah, maybe like. Rick the ruler, you know, that's what you want to be? That's maybe. I could be like, uh, that's just a name I thought of. I like camer a lot.

Puddles of camer. That's like more of a, like, it sounds like a Lord of the Rings book. What about, like, Dewey Griffin? That's a, I think they've done, there's already a guy. Mine's like sticky white camer. It seems like you're making, are you trying to make that about like, like, like, uh, is about, like, uh, sticky white is about rice.

That's about jiz. I fucking hate jiz. It's rice. It's not jiz. What is wrong with you guys? I don't like, okay, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, I'm discussing by puddles and gallons of jiz. I hate cum shots.

Squirting, bubbling, camer. That sounds. sounds like a cum shot. That's about soup. I hate, I hate cum shots. We don't like cum shots. We don't like cum shots. We don't like chish.

We don't like nut. I'm not doing that. I'm trying to come up with a cool rap name that's about a food I like. You're trying to make a song about jizzing all over something. No, I'm not. You are. I'm not. Chewing salty wad of camer.

Jesus Christ. Are you fucking kidding? It's about saltwater taffy. That's about cum. That is so clearly about scyze. What does that have to do with cum? You're talking about jizz. You're making sperm all over my bed sheets.

My camer flow. That's a sperm, Joe. That is not. That is when I was eating gazpacho in bed. Gospat. What the hell is Giscied cum shot name? No, it's not. It's a type of food.

It's like cold soup. You're talking about nut. I'm not talking about nut. You're talking about cum. You're talking about sporting your high. I sprayed camer on my girl's face. Brough. It's about sprayed cheese.

Let's hear about on that one. It's spray cheese. Okay. And whipped cream combined. The Listerine thing got. stuck on the roof of my mouth. It does that. It does that.

Don't even say anything about stuff getting stuck on the roof of his mouth now. Why would I say that? No foods do that. You have a fucking cum oozing out of your brain. You have your brain. Okay, can we at least just settle on a come drunk right now? A camer sandwich. And that's about ham.

Stop making serious Bukaki references. What? I hate Bukaki. It's a Camel sandwich. You are literally obsessed with loads. I'm not obsessed with a whole Buccaque. I hate loads. Stop talking about loading it up.

pig with camer in its mouth. You're talking about loads of chunky jizz. You're doing... You're talking about somebody being a spooge target. You're talking about splooge. I'm not talking about splooge. I'm not talking about human oil. You're making splooge comparison.

I'm not. You are straight out talking about white spew. Stop. You are. You guys are just bringing off all this stuff like the swamp water of the human body. The swamp water. See, it's automatic for you. Always have new words.

It's not automatic. If I don't just, I have to work up to it. I'm sick of your cum shot words. I haven't, I've been talking about food only. It doesn't belong in a podcast. Come shots are for napkins. And paper towels.

Okay, what about? And a sock that you don't wear anymore or a shirt you don't wear anymore. I just keep a cum shot to my shirt. Did a serious cum shot on a shirt. My shirt is so crusty from a little. You're talking about doing a tribute onto a Kleenex. I'm seriously not, okay? I never did a cum shot on the wall.

You've done one. I never did a cum shot on the seat. You did a cum shot on the wall and you did it near your oven so people would think it was olive oil. I didn't cook my cum in my oven. You bet you boiled and baked a cum under the boiler. My cum did not get stuck in the crack between two things. You jizzed in the toilet and swirled it around. And you swirled it around like it was a poached egg.

That's right. You added rice wine vinegar. You made a vortex in the toilet with your jizz. I did not come shot into a bottle, and when someone asked me what it was, I said, it's nothing. The bottle is empty, but the bottle was half full. There's nothing in that. There's nothing in there.

I did not wave my hand in their face like Obi-Wi-Wan. Wait, what the fuck? For comparative purposes, I hate Tupac, but he had tons more depth to his best works than went. Dude, Tupac is one of the greatest fucking rap artists who ever lived. I'm thinking about getting a Tupac tattoo. He actually did Matt A tummy rocker that says Tupac Instead of Thug Life

That's pretty good No like a portrait A portrait If you get a Tupac portrait I don't even I mean I'll just smile Yeah Yeah I'll admit it

I'll smile if you do that And I'll enjoy it Yeah And I'll probably take a photo I don't even like Tupac's music that much I feel like I would definitely Get a Tupac portrait

Yeah The thing is it's funny It's you You should only be getting funny tattoos Yeah In one way or the other I get tribal type man

yeah i got a spider wrap on my elbow well that one's cool though yeah that one is cool but then you also have the word dr evil on your own yeah yeah i think it would be funny if i got like i got my eyebrows tattooed on again don't get my mustache if you take away the buzz and the arrogant swagger of wayne and you put him in the same character as someone more affable and less self-involved it'd be a different story but when you put him up as a great of his time which for all purposes is a very talent depleted era in hip hop, fair or unfair, you then have to have him survive the test of comparing him to the other grades of other eras. And there's no way that you can put his ass up there with other grades of other stronger eras of hip hop. It's just not a credible case.

The fact is, the fact that this is even arguable shows that Jesus died in vain. So, like, honestly, this guy's bringing Christ into it. Yeah, you better have some really good points. Can we, I want to, I want to read these lines. I feel like we've done, go to these I need to hear what the, what the fuck this little Wayne guy saw go. Okay, and it's a picture of Little Wayne kissing Birdman.

Okay, so, yeah, so gays are bad to this author. Okay, so I guess he's not fucking okay with LGBTQness, which is which is actually not fire. Yeah, yeah, but here we get to the list. There's a new heading. The 50 worst, most forced,

most nonsensical, idiotic things, Wayne has said in his career. Who's Wayne? Little Wayne, I think is who's, he's referred to. Little Wain's a different guy than I'm right now I'll read this because I'm probably the best of reading rap. Yeah so you go ahead and read just every word now now where you ho at wipe your feet on the doormat I'm a I'm a bring the N-O back like a and he says actually um a word as I can't say that but with no back mm-hmm I'm gonna bring

the N-O back like a let's say friend friend with no back What does that mean? I mean, this is basically... Not operational? It's almost forced and nonsensical if you ask me. I mean, idiotic I don't know about because I really don't understand the context of this one. I would need to know, you know, rap songs are mostly about...

Based on this line so far, we're wondering what I'm going to bring the N-O back means. I think N-O might mean... Nonsense. Nonsense obvious. Oh. Because it truly makes no... Not a lick of sense.

But that's almost meta. That's like an almost... Have you seen the most... The movie, sorry, the film adaptation? Yeah. So he's kind of doing a... The film adaptation of what? No, there's a movie called a film called adaptation.

Yeah, it's an adaptation of what. I don't remember it, but it's about metanus and kind of... It's about, yeah, it's about if a movie and a book were the same thing. So it's a film adaptation of a book adaptation of what? Of a experience. You're getting caught up in the wrong thing. The next one is, this is almost, I mean, and this one almost also has some kind of racial tinge to it he says get girls wet like backs and i don't think that i can say that

interesting and i just completely did this one here this is a good one i think maybe is this one actually makes some sense this one makes sense i'm hot like dogs yeah like hot dogs everybody or a dog pants when it's hot i don't think that that's nonsensical at all maybe this is this could actually be a deep line about um wearing pants maybe he's wearing cool pants i'm hot like dogs when a dog is hot at pants. Holy shit. I'm wearing cool pants. And a dog pants to get cool.

I also just got new pants. A dog pants to get cool. That's actually pretty smart. I got new pants. I'm wearing cool pants down here. I'm so sorry. Okay, I'll read this one here. My girl is prego and then in square brackets pregnant.

Which you have to assume is added by the author. Little Wayne could have said, my girl is prego's left square bracket pregnant, right square bracket. And that's why it's transcribed that way. But I don't want it. So I'll cut it out like Joey Gladst stuff. Oh, that makes sense to a full-house fan like me. Yeah. Does he perform an abortion with a razor blade?

No. Or a caesarian section? Joey Gladstone has a... He cuts out babies and a one of his wounds? He does this. He goes cut it out. It's a catchphrase. He cuts out so it's not so full up.

The house is too full, so they can't have another kid in it. On the show, full house is full house, we need to cut that baby out. The mother was cut out of the show because she had cancer. But what about it? They should just cut that out of her. Yeah. They should just cut the cancer out. I think it was too late.

Well, they should have just done it earlier. But not too late to abort this child. Well, there was two children on the show. And they cut them both out. And they were twins, but they played one child. And they got completely cut out and aborted. Yes. Okay.

And now one of them is married to the Prime Minister of France's brother. They need to change the word of. abortion. I feel like it's a little too nautical. Yeah. It does make me think about... It's kind of spacey, yeah. The further we get into the future, the more abort is going to be... That is a word that's... It's a bit...

It's early. Exactly. Yeah. We're not ready for that word yet to be used a lot. Because everybody's going to have a spaceship with a big red button that says abort. And we're going to have a lot of very stupid people thinking that that'll make their baby shoot out of their body. So I think we need to change it. Yeah. I got a bitch with me. I call

her miss without draws. I go to the bank, they call me Mr. Withdraws. Okay. That one's got some wordplay to it, you know? Yeah, because you withdraw. That is actually sensical. This one's really good. Like the number after one, I'm going to get me too.

He got me too. See, that's a really, that one I'm assuming that one's just aged poorly. But yeah, saying I'm going to get me toed is not the best. That's maybe, yeah. And it's, and you imagine he's bragging about it because of how much he read about it. Like the number after one, I'm a get me to-toed. Yeah, I don't know if that's a good thing. about getting me-toed.

Yeah. And Harvey Weinstein. Oh, shit. I just realized that. Baby, I'm an acrobat. Sweetie, I'm a stunt devil. You can't get on my level because I am so unleveled. Okay, so it's kind of a...

Because he's a stunt man. Or it's a role-playing game or video game reference level. Oh, he's on a different level. Or he could be unleveled like he's an NPC or something. I would like to make some kind of game where I can run around. around like Mario, jump on all these rappers' heads and kill them. Yeah. Kill every rapper.

Just flatten them. Yeah, just fucking flatten you out. Hey, stop ruining culture. Yeah. Rapper, and then just jump on him and flatten them. There is a game. Tell you, I'd love to see flattened, Post Malone. There is a game.

Yeah, well, you would jump on Post Malone, and all his tattoos and grossness would disappear, like when you jump on a cupa and it comes out of the shell. Yeah. There's a game where he can box other rappers. Yeah, but they should have Post Malone and me to it. and I can just get them one-on-one in a rank DLC pack Yeah

Post Malone and Caleb Yeah And I can do a special I can do a hadukin Or have a samurai sword And post Malone He has a specially developed He has a diaper

Yeah You have like a specially developed Like it's like You're like a vampire hunter But for Post Malone Like you have a specific equipment That is just for killing post Malone Post Malone

He talks all the time Oh I drink I drink 50 Budlights a day I drink 60 cigarettes I smoke 60 cigarettes regrets a day. I'm a rock star. Buddy, I'm running five, six miles every single day. I'm shadow boxing for about an hour.

And I'm coming for you. Yeah. You know? Exactly. You better, if I were you, I'd start getting in fighting shape. Yeah. You stop touching things. Here's my new version of Post Malone's song, okay?

I'm dead. I have rigor mortis, and now my body's rock hard. Oh, that's good. He died. Yeah. My body's calcified. I'm a mummy. I've died for a thousand years.

I'm rock hard. That's he good. What's another one? Dying dead and ghostly. Dying dead and ghostly. Instead of White Iverson, he could say like, I'll have no son. Because I am dead and now I'm done.

Yeah. Caleb killed me with a gun. He took my money and all of my friends, my friends. The one where he's listing, it's cars. I just died. I just died. I just died. Ow.

Bentley, what's what's, what's, what's, Beamer Benzer Bentley? Yeah, exactly. No, that's not Little Wen. That's who's that? That's not, okay. I don't know any rappers. I don't listen to rap.

I don't listen to, like, guitar and acoustic music. That Lil Wayne had a verse on that. Nope. Maybe you did a remix. I mean, I've never heard any of these songs. You should roll down there. Check my bio. I started high with two ounces, just like Ohio.

Two O's. Yeah, this person wrote two oz. This doesn't say ounces. It says two oz. Well, I'm kind of scientific with mine. I'm used to find. in recipes because I'm also a chef part-time I mean amateur of course I mean I

personally I consider chefing I'd say it's less of a science than it is an art and I mean it really depends on who you are and look at this next line here there is no grammar if you you know what the difference is between chef being an art what and chef and chefing being just something you do is if you walk behind somebody

and you say behind behind behind behind or behind or what is it I'm behind you right now behind behind behind behind which if you're the thing is if you're trying to corner if you're turning a corner you say corner

food ready if the food's food hey uh order up oh that's the other thing so they say food's ready when the food's not ready that's just a weird quirk that only people who worked back of house now tips everyone's like oh if they see in a TV show if they'd say food's ready and the food's ready

like you know that's right in the back of the house the back of my house I'm taking a fucking monster dinosaur shit in my bathroom and that's where my bathroom is the back of my house yeah yeah and I honestly when I'm done. Knowing his house, that's not true. It is completely false. The back of my house is my bedroom.

So I'm in there and I'm... Is it wrong morally to take a shit and then do a cum shot onto the shit because you save flushes? Yes. Yeah, I think it's completely... Save one of morally wrong. I think so? Yeah. I watch a Kerskazak's video about how there's no fucking water, so I'm saving water.

I'm doing cum shots out of my poop. To save... What the fuck did we just talk about earlier with... I don't like doing that. I didn't do a single cum shot thing, and you guys yelled at me for 20 minutes, and now Caleb admits that he's literally, he's combining two things that, like it's a synobon. I'm not doing that. It's literally you are basting your poop. You are literally trying to put, you are with a spoon and putting sage and rosemary on it and basting my poop inside.

You are taking your, although maybe I will. You are taking your poop. I don't have a cast iron toilet that I get to temperature and then basting it with butter and basting it with butter. You were putting your poop based it in nutter. You were putting cheese on your poop like it's ice cream and you're trying to put one of those hard shells that you can buy. Yeah. I love those. I just remembered those just now.

I had those at the beach. I had that at the beach. You know what my entire dream has always been? Pour it on my tongue. Get my tongue really cold. Pour it on my tongue. Make it hardened onto my tongue. And now I have a chocolate tongue for an entire day.

And guess what? Everything's tasting like chocolate. And then I could finally eat my vegetable. You might have to live in a cold place. No, just tongue cold up my tongue. Here's an idea as a prank, put it on like a pole in the winter. Chocolate pole. Chocolate pole.

Someone tries to go lick the chocolate pole. They get their stung. Stung. They get their stung. They get their stung. The thing is tongue stuck. If you just say stung, that communicates the entire meat. So you can just say, they go up to it, they put their tongue at, they get their stung.

And people will know what you. you mean i didn't grow up in a very cold place did you guys ever put your tongue on a pole yeah i did it on the uh i did on my back porch did it get completely stuck yeah and i ripped it off and i ripped your tongue off i ripped my tongue off the back porch thing and i saw like a there's a little bit of blood on my tongue yeah i didn't i didn't do it when it was um when it was that cold because i was afraid i did it when it was kind of cold i see it wasn't true of new hampshire did you say oh fudge it does you know when you when you're taking ice cubes out of the ice cube train you can feel them stick to your fingers a little bit.

That scares me. I don't like it. What if my rip? What if my rip? You're like a bitch with no ass. You ain't got shit. See, that's, I think, unfair because I think there's plenty of women with no ass who actually have huge boobs.

Yeah. But they don't have shit. They work at hooters. It's just not about having boobs is about having shit. Oh, because he's saying if you have no ass, of course you teach. I hope women have no shit. That's actually a really good point. I thought it was a stupid line.

No, it's clever. I really, really hope women have no shit. If you don't have an ass, you can't have shit. Like, no shit is coming out. I hope a woman has no shit in her butt ever. I think they try to keep it out. Yeah. Let's see here.

I didn't know. I'm in the hood. I'm butter on bread, like parquet. And I'm all about me, like du re. Dure. Like dore me. Do re me. Oh, my God.

That's actually good. How is he saying this is bad? Yeah, I just didn't need the part where he says he's in the hood. I think that's what this author thinks. I got old money, could have bought a dinosaur. It's clever. It's very clever. It's about...

I got old money, could have bought a dinosaur. It kind of engages with the issue of an ancient economy. Yeah, it's actually academic. Yeah, like, what would you have bought it with, Mr. Wayne? Yeah. Mr. Wayne? I'm kind of starting to...

Master Wayne. I'm certain to think he's back, man. What would you have bought you with? Even when I'm laying on my back, I'm never backing down. I got... Oh, no, you already read that. And I'm going to be with my dogs like goofed. troop. I would love to hang out with the goof troop.

What's goof troop? Like, goofy in him? Yeah. It's exactly goofy and I'm hanging out with my dogs like goofy and him. Goofy and him. We should have a goof troop. Money over female dogs, bitch, roof roof. Okay. That's not bad. Yeah. Um, Coke transactions over the phone, we call them blow jobs. That's a slippery slope because then now what do you call blow jobs? You're a fucking famous rapper. I'm a penis sucking. A penis. Get over here. I would love to have a penis sucking. But then that makes it sound like you need an appointment. Being fake is pussy, so friend, I'm a virgin.

I'm a pill-popping animal. Syrup-sipping friend. I'm so high, you couldn't reach me with a fucking antenna. Again, like, I just... I'm a minute past pissed, and it's about to get shitty. That one's good. That one's really good. My penis is not working, and my ass will shit on you.

My flow is sick. than a patient that is HIV positive. I mean, that's, again, that's, yeah, like it or hate it. I mean, that is true. That people who have HIV are pretty sick. Here's a scary one. Her head is crazy, so she's insane. This is kind of like a horror core, like, like, ICP type line.

Here's one below it. You can't see me, Ray Charles. Yeah, which is like, yeah, he can't see you. Rude to Ray Charles. He can't see anybody. Yeah, like, also, you're not special because Ray Charles can't see you. her toes smelling like or smelling mint like tic tacks

this would be a better line I like the use of simile and metaphor and figurative language in rap but this would be a much simpler and more evocative line if you just said her toes smell like mint yeah and also you don't need the tic tics in there it's a brand name

it's a crutch again I don't know that yeah he's probably paying royalties out to tic tic yeah she has minty toes I've never heard any of these damn songs for all I know this is a whole song about a candy woman yeah you know like i she's got a bubble gum lips she's got uh she's got she's got laughing tic tic tach toes you should have said tick tach toes she's got bubble gum lips she's got laughy taffy

and her butt is full of fudge she's a complete he's got a fudge butt it's not candy but it's okay i'm not only hot like stove but i also cook like it's cousin oven i told the bitch hori like the catcher for the yankees he's not currently the catcher for the yankees and he's not currently the catcher for the Yankees anymore. So if you listen to that later in life, it's going to make no sense. Yeah. You should say, I think Jorge Posada has now played for the Yankees in some time. You should say, wait, what's, hey, he should, a good line would be like, I'm completely swinging at her vagina, my penis is a complete bat, and I'm in, I'm doing this in the same way as

Aaron Judge does on the Yankees. And a white ball with red stitches is flying out of my bat into her killing. I have white balls like Santa. I have white balls like baseball. Like baseball and Santa. White balls like baseball. White balls like

MLB. Like white balls with a little bit of red like MLB. That's easy. Yeah, red veins. White balls with red veins like it's from the MLB.

MLB. And then, and she is so pleasing because you know I had my vitamin E. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shoot a friend in his thigh and leg tell him to catch up like mayonnaise. A bitch is a female dog and a dog is a man's best friend. It's like, there's just facts. Cutching, yeah.

bitch on the bomb like tick tick tick tock oh oh that's an app now that's an app now but i guess back then it was just bomb i call them april babies because they fools these babies are fools boy i'm shitting on the green like piss in the grass he likes sitting on green do you think he likes pissing on people and me i'm still spitting like a retard and these friends soft they should be wrapping in leotards this is a line this line here is this next line here is one that I've always wanted to add to one of my wraps. I didn't know that he would be me to it. I'm hot too, baby girl, I'm soup.

I mean, what's hotter in soup? Yeah. I mean, I guess... It's very cold. It's completely cold. Yeah. It's a cold... Where have you been getting gazpacho?

It's served completely... It's cold a cold soup. It's not even a gazpacho. It's coldly red. It's a redly boldly coldly soup. It's completely ice cold. You've been having hot gazpacho? Where?

I just thought it meant soup. Gaspacho? No, it's like a cold, it's like a chilled, what's in it? Like cucumbers or something. Tomatoes. Like cold crap, tomatoes. What? It's a cold tomato soup.

It's not hot. The gazpacho that I had was completely white. Okay, I just found out earlier when I said that, when I said that. The gazpacho I had was completely white with chocolate chunks in it. Did you have it at my house? I had it at Baskin Robbins. Oh. I think that was ice.

cream well fuck and it was hot it was hot fudge was hot oh okay um i just found out you remember with the banana and the cherry earlier earlier when i was reading the sidebar and i said he had a quote from somebody named the honorable sass i just got to the bottom of this blog post and it says posted by the honorable sass holy shit it's him yeah at 301 a he says i arrest my case now you be the judge you got a picture of a judge is there any

comments here there's a lot of comments here let's just read one or two yeah let's see here um christian i like the name he says i completely agree with everything you say everything little wayne says is intelligible or nonsensicalable this anonymous said only if it's fancy what we do anonymous said last guy to post is a dipshit wait oh wait no that comment contingent i thought he was just saying like oh whoever leaves the last comment is a dip shit he says wait anonymous says you guys are retarded Wayne's the best there is he's not retarded and how you're gonna say a 10 year old can write that it's true it's completely true yeah i'm on way inside let me just clarify yeah thank you for writing this i'm showing this to every wayne fan i can find let's you know maybe they're fans of

just wanes in general wow this is this article has a multi-generational kind of reach here there were three three years deep into the comment section oh yeah wow i didn't even notice um there might be some people are writing some long comments here yeah yeah i mean basically they're just uh I would say they're mad because they can't come up with 50 lines. Lupe Fiasco, Aesop Rock, MF Doom, Deltron 3030, Big L, Wutan Klan, Jedi Mind Tricks, Brother Ali, and Atmosphere are 300 times better, yet none of them get the recognition they deserve. Caleb Bats.

Uh, fuck, man. If you take him for what he is, he is pretty amusing. Couldn't help but laugh out loud at at least half of these lines. Maybe he's less of a rapper, more of a comedian. He should do comedian. Four words. Lil Wayne fucking sucks. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, people are very, people are being very rude here. What's the most recent one? I want to know. I think it was at the... Oh, no, we're still going. It goes down. Oh, my gosh. I don't know what people are saying.

Okay, I think we, yeah. July 2019. Lil Wayne still top 20, greatest of all time and better than Eminem. Please, there's nothing deep or clever about his wordplay. This guy's good. Anybody could come up with this shit. is named shh, shh, said, shh, asshole. Okay.

All right. Well, that's the list. That's the list. Anything to plug? Yeah, I mean, I guess, well, this comes out. This comes out Wednesday. So tonight, no, tomorrow night. Tomorrow night is Portland, Oakland, Ogan.

Beto, get, yo, ticket. Seattle, Ossetan. Seattle. We got a couple of shows in Seattle. Go to swag poop.com slash shows. And the show, it's not just us going. up there and just talking You keep reiterated

I'll say it pretty much is We actually do a good show It's going to be completely normal No surprises There won't be a we didn't plan anything Choreographed We definitely don't have a special Technology themed guest for the Seattle shows

So don't even expect to that All right Okay Bye Bye