Podcast About List - Ep. 212 - The Dr. Pepper Cast

Episode Date: October 12, 2022

This one's about soda. 👍 Buy tickets to our Halloween live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and D&D episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

Come in, come in, come in, and me see your butt. All the counts for the ball list. Every crap monster. Big soda cup. I fill you up. Let's have a Pepsi. Let's have a pepper. Diet Dr. Pepper.

Big soda cup. I feel you up. Do you guys know what episode now? Let's have a Diet Dr. Pepper. What are you telling you? do you know what episode number this is i was asking no six six six is is it really because if it is then i would be like we could be like welcome to episodea 666 oh that's good but i have to know the number to say that welcome to this episodea the die dr pepper cast i'm your host fancy pepper

and i'm and you're joined and i'm joined by my co-host over here um zero zero sugar Steven. Yeah, that's right. Zero sugar, Stephen. And this is Doug Aspartame. To my right. No, my name's Nutrition Facts. Nutrition Facts is what his name used to be. That's my radio name. But his real name is Doug. Yeah, but we don't say that on there. No, of course. Yeah. People could find my house, the Aspartame Manor. We have different names for the Diet Dr. Peppercast. Welcome to the Diet Dr. Pepper cast. It's the first inaugural. It's the first episode. It's episode of one. Episode number one. Yeah, that's what the episode is. And we've got to get the sips in the... Episode number one bottle.

Oh, yeah. Number 1 888-373-7-3-7-3-7-3, Dr. Pepper.com. And open up that and then we'll record the sound of it opening. I don't think that they have that much of a hiss. I think you'd be pretty surprised. It's not like a can tab popping. Yeah. Yeah.

And you know what? Let's get in our first topic. Yeah. Diet Dr. Pepper. Does it taste better in a bottle or a can? I'm going to say every soda for the most part tastes better in a can. Yep. I was going to say that.

too. Yeah, but I said it first. I think it tastes best in your imagination. It tastes best in your mouth. Yeah, it tastes, imagination, I mean, you can't really replicate what it really tastes like. Uh-huh. So it's always going to taste a little better because you're adding that kind of dreamlike flavor.

The ranking to me is can. Can and then glass bottle and then plastic bottle and then cup. And then probably like poop dog poop bag. What depends on what cup it is. A chilled glass cup. Yeah, or a hard plastic cup from a restaurant, one of the red ones. That's pretty good. When we went to cookout in the south, the little ice pellets in the styrofoam cup, never really had that before.

I think that is the best way to have a soda. You've never had the ice pellets? They don't do that up north. I don't think that's true. Us Yankees. Is that true? No, not really. Unless you go to Sonic.

Really? Unless you go to Sonic. You guys call that Sonic ice? We got that everywhere down there. Yeah. Sometimes you go to a restaurant, they have, the ice machine makes that. ice. Wow.

That's cool. And that would be perfect if they had Dr. Pepper in the machines. I wonder why that would be a southern thing. We drink more soda. Soda capital of the world. Maybe it's warmer, so they need different types of ice. It is warmer. So you need ice with more surface area. Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe that's it. It's like putting a whiskey cube. And maybe like the, it's colder up north, so the ice is harder to break. And you don't even need ice also. Yeah. Well, you do in the summer, though. In the summer.

Ice heads, I know about the summer. pretty good in a glass cup in a glass cup ice in a glass cup in a frosty mug diet dot filled with diet doctor pepper diet doctor filled yeah all the way to the top

where do you even find that much fucking diet doctor oh trust me I'm trusting I buy it as pellets you buy the pallets oh pellets or pallets I buy pellets of sugar syrup and you build it yourself and then I put it in my own

holy fuck soda I have a A soda machine at home. You ever do a soda stream? That's what I want to hear before I drink my soda. My roommate had a soda stream, and then it broke. Yeah. But, uh... They should call it a soda scream,

because it's the loudest fucking noise you'll ever hear in your life. And it's shaped like a penguin. Yeah, a penguin. Uh-huh. Yeah. A penguin? Yeah. And they're from Israel.

Yeah. Shout out. I think my... My grandpa had either one of those or an off-brand, one of those, I feel like. Let's stay on topic. A soda stream? Yeah, let's not get into grandpa's. I'm talking about soda stream.

That's exactly what we're talking about. But you mentioned grandpa. Yeah. My grandpa who likes soda can't be mentioned. Okay, that's better. If he has a soda stream, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, but he also has other stuff. Like what?

Like what? He probably has trauma. He doesn't. He probably has drama with your grandma. Nope, not true. Your grandpa doesn't have drama with your grandmama? Nope. Just soda.

Baby grandma? Nope. Okay, you're getting off topic. yeah he's attacking me right now okay you need this you need to stay he's attacking my family history okay let's get back to the dr pepper episode the pepper soda so basically diet pepper pepper pepper soda so basically diet dr pepper soda so here's my thing man i honestly wish that pib was making a new appearance but the pib the whole i'm not a whole i'm not a big family the pib family has not hopped on the zero

calorie train bib um is a deliberate uh knockoff was reading the other day really yeah and in what uh terms it used to they they the coca cola corporation was jealous genuine very jealous of the of the dr pepper uh the sales that dr pepper was having in the 70s well what a lot of people don't realize is that dr pepper is not coke or it's its own it's its own it's dr pepper snapple dr pepper snapple it's own and they own uh sunkiss yeah They own SunKissed also. But they're not part of the big, too. They're disruptors, right?

Which is why the big Coke Corporation wants to go in. They're kind of like... This small family brand. Yeah. And they wanted... Of educated people. The Pepper family. We all know Pepper.

Yeah. And they're like, it's like, you know, you got Mozilla Firefox, Google Crum. This is opera. Uh-huh. You know, this is a little... A browser that's good enough to be on the Wii. It's Duck, Duck, Go. If it's good enough for fucking Joe Rogan, it's good enough for me in regards to

Let's stay on topic. Yeah, so anyway, soda. You're going to get in a dangerous place. Yeah, Joe Rogan. Yeah, I was going to get into it. Joe soda. Joe Sogan. Joe Soda again.

I will have another soda again. Yeah. That could have been. Joe drinking. There we go. See, I'm looking here on Pibbhug.com. Yeah, and that could be any one of us. Yeah.

The things had gone. Mr. Pib was born in the summer of 72 after the Coca-Cola company had the intention of creating a drink that would rival the growing success of Dr. Pepper. I don't, I wish it was. wouldn't say Mr. Pib was born because I really did think like, oh, it's named after a real guy when you said that. Well, it used to be called PEPO.

No, you could your fucking lying to me. It was under the name PEPO. PEPO. Yeah. Can we see a logo on that? It was called PEPO and then Coke settled on the name Mr. Pib for important brand identification purposes. So there's no, I can't find out.

Was there another PEPO in the world? There's a PEPO running for president? Dr. PEPA. See, there's Pepo Pepper type soda Oh, so they really were ripping off Dr. Pepper at this time Yeah, see, that is why Dr. Pepper Diet Dr. Pepper especially

The can is great. The can is crazy. The can is really good. Let's stay on topic. Sorry, not the can, the soda, the inside. Yeah, I think that Peppo would have been a better name for Mr. Pip. Here's a bottle of Pepo. They're having an auction for a bottle of Pepo.

Really? How much? Let's take a look. And it's from a website called Me Come on Time. To do a true. a taste test. I think we would have to buy this pepo bottle. It says sold price $0.

Must have sold for free. Wow. What the hell they got free pepo? And it's on, they got pepo on MECOM. Wait, what are you saying? Let's stay on topic, Pat. No, look. Pat, we're talking about the soda.

We're not talking about MECOM. Close the window here. You say METCOM? We're not, you shouldn't be touching the computer. There's the soda discussion. Close the window. It says MECOM. We're not talking about windows. I'm talking about soda.

So let's discuss this. I'm saying peppero on me on the screen. You better not be fucking bringing up windows unless you're looking through the goddamn window of a candy and soda's fountain for trying to look at a soda, you bastard. That's right. I don't think that I, I don't think that I went off topic. Drop your fucking... Now you're discussing topics. Let's talk about soda.

Drop the fucking topic talk. Can you just knock it off? I have something to say. Say it then. I think it's too early. Say it. You said you have something to say, say it. You better fucking start talking, Buster.

I'll fucking eat your soda. You're going to eat my soda. I'll eat at one bite. Someone just was in the hallway, slammed a door, and went really loudly, to the point when we heard it, 30 feet away. Yeah. We all, pretty crazy. We were all distracted.

My favorite type of soda is baking soda. Just kidding. Psych. That was almost a fucking off topic. It's a soda type joke. It's a soda joke. But because it was a joke, I think we have to allow it. And that, it did make you laugh.

And baking soda is like a powder. You know what else is a powder? Pepper. Dr. Pepper. which is a liquid, which is soda. Pepper is a powder. And then Dr. I was just kind of free associating it back into Dr. Pepper.

So I wonder, see, Dr. Pepper is famous for having 23 flavors inside of one. And also. Human beings have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Oh, my God. Oh. So I think that's probably the reason. Wow, that's what's so popular. That must be.

And that, you know what, your kind of like logical thinking does make it make sense. Make it make sense See, because I always wondered what the 23 was I'm always like 23 flavors Make it make sense See, see 23 and me That's got to be about Dr. Pepper And I used to 23

I think it's 23 ingredients The me must be Dr. Pepper Yeah Fuck me I think it's 23 ingredients in Dr. Pepper And there's 23 ingredients That make up the human soul Do we want to go through the ingredients

Of Dr. Pepper? It won't tell you Oh, flavors Well there's 23 flavors of the human soul That's true True also. There's flavors of soul. Let's see here.

What do we got? Well, let's look at it on the original recipes ingredients. Okay. Let's see what we can find this. Okay, this is the history corner. How does that stack up to KFC's recipe number? 11. 11 herbs and spices.

More than fucking double the fucking flavors in pepper. Yeah. I'm not sure if I can find the... Yeah, it's secret. That's what I'm saying. The original recipe. Heritage Dr. Pepper. Let's see what Wikipedia has to say about this.

Good luck. Yeah, good. All right. I'll say this much while you search this page. Heritage, Dr. Pepper, or Dr. Pepper, Heritage, became available around November 2009 in various outlets around the United States. As its name implies, it is a re-release of sorts of Dr. Pepper's original formula, which uses sugar instead of high-fructose corn syrup, which Dr. Pepper and other brands of soft drink

started to use around the early 1970s. The formulas of Heritage Dr. Pepper in Dublin, Dr. Pepper, are assuming. to be one and the same, but Heritage Dr. Pepper is a larger scale national release aimed at capturing the same marketing essence as the Pepsi and Mountain Dew throwbacks. And speaking of Mountain Dew Throwback, what a great,

what a great soda. I don't think I've ever had a Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew throwback? I've never had, I've never thrown back any Mountain Dew. You've really never had a Mountain Dew? I've had a Baja Blast, actually. I know you've had Baja Blas. I know that I may or may not have given you a sip of

Mountain Dew back in the day. I don't think that's true. I don't, what do you mean back in the day? Back in the olden days. The olden days, like the 1800s? No, like back, way back. Before then, like in the 1000s? Just a little bit back, a little bit.

So 80s, 90s. A little bit further. The 2000s, when we were just young children? Did you see, there's a new, there's a new Dr. Pepper flavor. Okay. And I haven't been able to find it anywhere in diet yet. All right. But, uh, diet, Dr. Pepper, dark berry.

Dark berry. Dark Berry, and it's a promotional item for a Jurassic World Dominion, and in the commercials is one of my favorite singers, Barry Manilow. Wait, wait, Barry Manilow is in the Dark Barry? He's in the Dark Barry? Wait, is it Dark Barry? Is it Evil? And you're going to love this commercial.

Okay. If this is confusing you right now, this is going to make this is going to make this does he act darkly mean or anything like that? He wears a blue berry suit. So that's not that dark. Blary. A blue berry. Barry style, very color suit.

A styled blue. He looks like Violet Beauregard from Bollywanka. Like Barry Manilone. I have violent disregard for Barry Manilone. That, I would kill him. And that is an insane thing to say. Violent disregard. And you're going off topic.

I'm fucking sorry. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to sip. I'm actually been smelling mine. You have to just take a sip. Yeah. Hey, take a sip if you get off topic.

There's a little drinking game we've been here on the Dr. Pepper's episode. Check out this little paragraph. I think I remember hearing about this. Oh, I don't remember tasting it, and it was good. Tell you this much. It came out when I was 10 years old. Yeah, me too. That can't be a coincidence.

In 2011. I don't remember. I was only a little bit older than that. I just assumed that we were this because we were the same age that you were right. He just went with it, and I agreed with you. Well, it says here, for anyone who doesn't know, any less educated Dr. Pepper fans, Dr. Pepper 10, a low-calorie version introduced in 2011, promoted as having as 10 calories per serving, a little whoopsie on Wikipedia here, a bit of a typo. Well, Wikipedia, you can't trust a single word you read on this damn website.

Definitely not. Dr. Pepper 10 was marketed primarily towards men with the products branding featuring a masculine appearance and gunmetal colors and promotional campaigns featuring the slogan, it's not for women, which gained some controversy for its promotional sexism. Yeah, I remember that, and I remember that if you got it in the cans, if you got Dr. Pepper 10 in a can, It was silver, but sometimes they would make it, they would put football pigskin on the, Oh, yeah. And couldn't you fuck the bottle? You couldn't fuck the bottle, but it was big enough to hollow out and put a pocket pussy in.

Yeah, and you could hide it. You could say, no, honey, it's just for mint. I'll take a sip, bloody years. Don't force my hand. Well, yeah, here's, if we're, this is the history corner, I have some interesting history right here, I found, if anyone wants to read this little fun tidbit here. I would love to.

I would love to read this. Dr. Pepper was a frequent player in the 1990s antitrust history of the United States as part of these activities. Economists and the courts have weighed in on the opinion that Dr. Pepper is a pepper-flavored drink and not a cola. In 1995, the FTC blocked a merger between the Coca-Cola Company and Dr. Pepper on the grounds that it included concerns of a monopoly of the pepper flavor category of soft drinks. Wait, they tried to put Dr. Pepper in the Coca-Cola family? They did.

And then the FTC blocked it and said You can't have a monopoly on pepper drinks Which is good Yeah You have to have The FTC won't let them be Or let pepper drinks drink them for me See, I thought you were off topic

I thought you were just singing But you turned it around Into a song about soda Yeah And I'll take a celebratory sip of my soda I think you earned a sip But thank God for the FTC blocking that merger

And thank God for the FTC Just in general. In general, but that's off topic. You know how when you fart in a bat, and I promise it's soda related. You know how when you fart in a bathtub, the fart smells different? Yeah.

Or in the shower. And let me tell you right now, this better be about soda. I promise it will be about soda. That, the difference between a normal fart and a fart that is done in the shower or a bathtub is the same, the same smell or a taste difference between a Coca-Cola and a Dr. Pepper.

It's just got a little bit of a different kind of... It's like it was made in a different world. I'm glad you were able to swing this back to soda. Yeah, it hit the soda, all the soda marks, you know? And it's barely even about... The farts were just an allegory, you know, in the way the Bible. But these are just, I mean, what a soda. I'm seeing here too...

See, usually... Sure. You go on. Sorry. I was just going to say, usually when I think about soda, I'd keep the farts away. That's right. I feel the fart away from my cup. But in that one moment, you got what I'm going to say.

Mix my soda with some fart. Just spray it. Spray some fart all over my soda. Apparently, nobody knows for certain why it's called Dr. Pepper, and there are multiple theories. Well, there are apparently several different people whose names were Dr. Pepper that could have possibly inspired the name. Really? Can you list maybe one or two of them? Yeah.

So there's an actual doctor, one, Charles T. Pepper of Rural Retreat, Virginia, or a Dr. William Alexander Reed Pepper of Christiansburg. Those are two possibilities for who Dr. Pepper could have been named after. I think we should take all the Christian, put him in a burg. Yeah, nice burg. Yeah, all the Christian. It's a very off topic, Carol. Do you know, do you, do you think before you speak?

Have you ever heard of the Holocaust? I haven't. And don't even bring that up because that's off topic. Yeah, we're not going to talk about that today. I've never heard of that. But I don't care what that is because I'm off. Because your mind is on soda right now. Because I'm fucking being off topic as shit these days.

And so I'm just going to drink my soda very silently and quietly. And Patrick, you can just handle all this Dr. Pepper stuff that we've been talking about in regards to who created it. As with Coca-Cola, the formula for Dr. Pepper is a trade secret, and allegedly the recipe is kept as two halves in safe deposit boxes and two separate Dallas banks. Wow. They are serious about soda. How do you have 23? How do you split the remainder in half and so you only get half the word? Yeah, it's a recipe, so I mean the recipe is not just one word. What I'm saying is... Maybe they cut the piece of paper down the yeah that's i think that's likely what that's what makes it so hard is that i think each

cut piece of paper is probably cut in half and kept and each different half is kept and they're all mixed up too probably that would be my theory what if you get in there excuse me something's i've got what's happening i don't know why why this can be happening to me but it seems like there's no reason why there's no i do want to i i'm sorry that was all topic i'll take I feel like we can dive into history a little deeper here Kind of a Dr. Pepper conspiracy corner The Dr. Pepper formula is kept in Dallas Do you think this could have anything to do

With the assassination of President John F. Kennedy? He got too close He doesn't say exactly which buildings The formulas are kept in Because those were in between two banks, right? Probably. It could have been that it was kept in the book depository True

What's one kind of book? A cookbook or a restaurant. recipe book or a soda book. Oh, my fucking God. And that guy, that was his name, Harry Joe Oswald. He, whatever his name was. He loved soda. Yeah.

And he talked about it all the time. Yeah. There's a lot of, there's, Harvey Oswald. Yeah. Coca-Cola. Lee. Holy, that soda's fucking good. Harvey Oswald.

I swalt a god. That's a good. I swalt. I swalled the soda. I swat the whole bottle. Oh, Lee, I swalt the whole bottle. I get Harvey C because I'm so... I get Harvey Lee.

I get Harvey Lee what's in front of me. I get Harvey Lee what's in front of me because I swalt the whole bottle of soda. Yeah, so he had to have been a soda guy. Yeah, yeah. It's a soda. I're a soda man, Lee. I remember that was in the movie. J.F.K.

Yes MLK Dr. MLK Dr. MLK Dr. Holy shit And he looked like pepper He was the color of pepper.

Stay on top of Yeah, let's stay on top of care. The original formula is formulated by Brooklyn-born pharmacist Charles Alderton in Morrison's old corner drugstore in Waco, Texas. Interesting.

So it's all a Texas affair and it's all but tied into the guy who made it came from Brooklyn. All right, so shout out to Brooklyn. Before we go any further, Brooklyn, stand up. Yep. I'd like to see you, stand up. Stand up. And you know what?

Yep, and I'll stand up. Yep, for Brooklyn. For Brooklyn. This one's for Brooklyn. To Brooklyn. To Brooklyn. Yep, cheers on that. But basically, I mean, it's all happening in Texas.

And this is around also the time that acid and different psychotronic substances are coming out. Hold on now. Can you go back to that last page? Yeah, but I just look at this heading. Dr. Pepper Capital of the World. That's one of the headings on Wikipedia. The company sells more Dr. Pepper in the Roanoke Valley area of Virginia than any other metropolitan area east of the Mississippi River. I'm pretty sure we did on our world.

We went to the Roanoke. That's where Richmond is. I think so. Something like that. And you know what? It's fucking sad that we didn't know this beforehand going there. Because if I had known that it was the Dr. Pepper Capital Capital. We were in Dallas, too.

We had gone to all of the Dr. Pepper spots. Well, that's a thing about, that's a sad thing about the South is there's this whole hidden history that don't teach you. Yeah. About the South. And this dark kind of passed. And this is one of them. Is that like, they're not telling you. Guys, oh, my God.

Pepper Capital. Guys, in October 2015, the city of Roanoke declared October 24th to be its official Dr. Pepper Day. Oh, my God. That's awesome, but why not, why would it not be the 23rd? I mean, you have to ask Rowanoke, I guess. It's not really my. Can you look up the, like, the olderment of Roanoke, how we can get in. Maybe there's another holiday on the 24th in row.

The 23rd? Yeah, the 23rd is taken, maybe. Yeah. And the page is not found. Okay, so this is just made up. Yeah. So this is, I guess, fake, fake things. I was so excited to celebrate.

But there's something I saw up there that said, Dr. Pepper used to be, their ads used to say that it was. Wait, hold on, go up here. Oh, a second. 23 flavors redirects here for the Chinese medicine drink, C24 flavors. What? There's a Chinese Dr. Pepper drink? No, this is a drink called 24 flavor. Yeah, but this isn't soda, so never mind.

I thought it was maybe a soda. I'm sorry for getting off topic. Oh, it's no worries. It wasn't your fault. You thought you were on top of it. Yeah, I thought I was talking. Wait, what is this, free Dr. Pepper for everyone in America? Wait, okay.

On March 26, 2008, various media outlets reported that Dr. Pepper would offer a free can of Dr. Pepper to everyone in America, excluding former Guns and Rose's guitarist Buckethead and Slash if the band released a long-awaited Chinese democracy in 2008. Later in the day, lead vocalist Axel Rose replied to Dr. Pepper on Guns and Rose's official website and spoke of his surprise of Dr. Pepper's support. Rose said he would share his Dr. Pepper with Buckethead as some of Buckethead's performances are on Chinese Democracy. After it was announced that the album would be released in 2008, Dr. Pepper stated

that it would uphold the pledge. Wow. Wait, and then Dr. Pepper failed to distribute the coupons for the free drinks, and they tried to- Well, let's not get into that. They tried to sue. Wait, Guns and Roses tried to sue Dr. Pepper? What the?

There's an unmitigated disaster which defrauded consumers, and in the eyes of vocal fans, ruined Chinese democracy's release. Wow. Holy shit. Yeah. I think that's what ruined the release of Chinese democracy. Yeah. There's also a Dr. Pepper Museum in Waco, Texas.

Holy fucking shit. The museum founder, Wilton Lannning, died in January 2018. Well, I think we... I think there's an opening. Yeah, there is. For founder. I mean, we could get hired as founder of the museum. We need, like, a founding document to go into this.

Yeah, I think we could pull that off, though. Yeah, I think maybe even Patrick might have a founding document. Is there anything that it could be like maybe the first entry to the museum's catalog? Yeah, and you know what? It is a list. Oh, my fucking God. Wow. let's hear it you know a little bit of a throwback to our old show yeah i remember that yeah yeah

the show that we don't do anymore yeah now we do dr pepper the dr pepper show yeah uh this is a list of why diet dr pepper makes me smile okay and what would be the first entry um well the first entry i mean isn't it obvious well it's yeah it is yep it's obvious yeah so we can to skip it yeah oh man oh man you get me in a room with a bunch of cans of diet dr pepper only i'm leaving yep but it's just going to be me leaving and and maybe some empty cans you get me you get me in a room with with a bunch of cans of dr pepper on my ex-wife only i'm leaving yep because she's going to be standing in there drinking those a bunch of cans of diet dr pepper and a bad and a big bag of Laundry.

Yep. See, I don't know exactly what the flavor of diet Dr. Pepper is. All I know is that when it hits my lips, I wish it was a beautiful man or woman to kiss it. Because you don't know the gender of Dr. Pepper either. Right. Do you want to kiss what? Your lips? If I wish the soda, I wish it was a liquid man or woman that I could kiss.

And they're made entirely out of Diet Dr. Pepper. Okay. Okay, that makes a little more. And they walker, and if it's cold out, it's not a good day for them. Because they get frozen. Because they get frozen. And if it's hot, maybe they turn it into a puddle. If it's hot, they can stay normal.

Okay, they can stay normal if it's hot. All right, well, that's sweet. I didn't realize you were so fucking romantic. Wow. That's crazy. Yeah. And you know what? They say that Diet Dr. Pepper is an aphrodisi.

I think it is an aphrodisi. Is that on there? Because you should add that if it's not. And you know what? I just added it to the end, so we'll get back. And listen, listen, I throw it to the end of the list. Yeah, we'll get back to that. And listen, when it comes to Dr. Pepper, I throw Deasy at my tongue.

Yep. I throw Dez out my tongue. I throw Dezze back at my tongue. I throw Dezzi at my tongue. Mm-hmm. And I suck it down. And I fucking slurp. I slurp that diet Dr. Pepper down like it's a...

You know what? Let's get to the Aphrodisiac. part now. Yeah. I slurp it down like it's an oyster. And you know what? Raw oyster. All you need.

Hot sauce and a lemon. You're putting that on pussy? Sorry, I got it off topic. Yeah, that's a little. Let's get back on topic here. Can we test the aphrodisiacical quality? We're going to get back to the aphrodisi. Here's my perfect meal.

If I'm fucking drinking this, do you guys want to suck here? I mean, I don't have underwear on. I think you would want to suck our dick if you drink that. God, I want. Here is. Yes. The perfect meal. Hit me.

36 raw oysters. Okay. One glass of diet Dr. Pepper and a salad for the lady. Switch those numbers and maybe. And she'll have a salad, the perfect meal. Lobster steak, 14 glasses of Dr. Pepper. Diet Dr. Pepper. And she'll have a crouton.

She'll have one single crouton. That's a perfect meal. And a candle between us, which if she gets hungry, she'll start eating. But I'll probably eat the candle. she probably won't be able to. Depending on what, if it's a Yankee or if it's a vanilla bean, I could be liable to eat that can. And I like spicy food, so I'll eat the hot part of the candle.

Yeah, that's fine. Number two, the color of the soda. Yeah. Yeah. The color of the soda. Brown. Brown. Brown.

Brown fruity drink. Brownie red. Oh my God. Redly brown. Reminds me of brownie. Reminds me of a brown. A brownie that's filled with peppers and fruits. Yeah.

It's like if you put, it reminds me. Reminds me if you took water and put great ingredients in. Yeah. Brown. We'll say this much. Brown is the color of a great ingredient. Yeah. A great ingredient's going to be brown.

It's always brown. It's always brown every time. Yeah. It really is. Tumric? No, that's yellow. That's orange. Yeah.

I mean, we don't have to list brown ingredients. Everyone know if there's an ingredient that's brown is good. Anees. Chocolates. Cloves. I got a brown. Anees. Good dirt.

I can't think you need a white. better. My asshole. I'm saying my niece is brown. I thought I was saying an anus. That's what I thought, too. Oh, no, my niece is brown. That's what I was saying.

But yeah, I guess my asshole is brown, too. Cinnamon, cloves, star anise, brown. Some peppercorns. Dr. Pepper. Dr. Pepper. Oh, my God. Great ingredients.

If you're making some Dr. Pepper battered fried. Dr. Pepper ribs. Dr. Pepper ribs. Those are good. Oh, my God, I'm hungry. Dr. Pepper stew. Dr. Pepper stew. Yeah, Dr. Pepper, I'll take two of them.

Sorry, I'm getting a phone call, maybe from the Pepper Police. Is it? No, wife. Off. Turn off phone. Throw. Number three. Number three is a...

I'll put it on the ground. Look how much he already broke that phone. The secret rest of the phone I gave him? Yeah, it's completely... Oh, no, you're off topic. That is off... Yes, yes. That is a completely off topic.

And we will discuss that after the episode is done. I'm going to get a whooping. Number three is it's secret recipe. I love... If you're like me, you love espionage. I love it, and I don't want it to delete. Uh-huh. You know?

Yeah, I want to protect it. I'm basically... I'm like the CIA for the Dr. Pepper. If someone dare to do the fapidding with Dr. Pepper, I'd fucking blow their brains out. Uh-huh. Yeah. They should be... Again, and we're talking...

I mean, blow your brains out, CIA. Yeah. I just, you know, I think that the histories are intertwined here. CIA, JFK, MLK. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. If you try... If you try to do some kind of Ocean's 11 style heist...

Yes. To get the Dr. Pepper secret recipe out of those two banks that it's being held in. If you try to do that, there will be me. There will be a blowtorch. Yes. There will be your cock. Mm-hmm. You're nuts.

Yeah. I'm going to just go to town. Exactly. And I'll tell you what. I'm going to film it. You try, you try some, and then you're going to burn him. You try to do Oceans 11. You're not going to be getting lotions in heaven.

No. You're going straight to hell and you're getting tortured. You're not getting that bath and body works cherry blossom. Or the, and you know what? You're not no lip lotion. None of that Dr. Pepper-flavored chapstick. You're going to go lip tattoo that's a slut. Yep, that's right.

And you're going on the other side. And gauges. Yep, and you're going to, yeah, and we're going to pierce your nose. Yeah. Right, and you're going to have one of those little rings in your nose. And there's going to be a cheek gauge. Yeah. Yeah.

And we're going to split your tongue. We're going to split your tongue like a snake. Wait, do you think if we're going to turn you into a snake, man? Do you think if you split your tongue, you could taste soda or Dr. Pepper twice? There's only one way to find out. Yeah. Split the tongue completely down the middle, one part, one cup, one part diet. You could probably create new flavors that way.

You could stick one half of your tongue into Dr. Pepper and then the other half into whatever flavor thing you want. Like cherry or vanilla or dark berry? Exactly, yeah. Or even one that doesn't exist. Or ice cream. Ice cream. I don't. You can make a separate.

Or Dr. Pepper float in your mouth. I'm no friend of evolution. but if I were, that might be the next step in it, is having two tongues. Because the more I think about that, your soda enjoyability factor is going to go up multifold. Yeah. And I was worried you were about to get off topic.

No, I'm talking sodas. Okay. Good. Sodas. Number four, the ingredients. Kind of in line with this secret recipe. But these ingredients, even on their own, even if they're not into Dr. Pepper,

or the stand-alone star of every single thing that they're in. Each ingredient stands alone, but together they stand strong. Carbonated water. Yeah. Caramel color. That's got to be my favorite color. Caramel color is good. Aspartame?

Aspartame. Love it. Love it. Can't get enough. Whenever that's in a meal, I know it's the star of the show. Basically, I asked for it. And Dr. Pepper is a meal. And I ask for it.

But a lot of people say, oh, aspiratine's bad for you. It causes cancer. These are the same people are saying this about. MSG and that's actually fucking racist. Yeah. Right? Aspartame is not dangerous. It's okay. It's actually a neutropic in high amounts and it can actually make your right leg

fucking go completely numb for like two months straight. And did you know it's actually named after a Spartan? Yeah, exactly. Uh-huh. This is Spartan. The main guy from that. From the movie. The main guy from that it's named after because of how strong he is.

And if you don't like Aspartame, I'm kicking you in that pit, playboy. Uh-huh. Do you like Aspartame? There's a door. Yeah. There it is right there. You're not staying at my barbecue. Get the fuck out.

Guess what's on all the ribs? The aspartame. Diet Dr. Pepper. With extra aspartame. Extra aspartame. Yeah, I like my fucking ribs sweet like candy, asshole. Yeah. I put sweet and low on my diet Dr. Pepper ribs.

Heard that. Uh-huh. Well, it's ingredients, and then it's caffeine count. I think it's the perfect amount of caffeine for a diet soda. You know, not quite 70? 68 milligrams. And 70 might be put. For a bottle.

A Red Bull? Red Bull is going to be $120. Red Bull, small can, that's 80 milligrams, right? Yeah, so this is a little less than a small red. Basically, it's the same amount of caffeine as a small Red Bull, but you get more soda than a small Red Bull. You're drinking a bottle of Coke, it's 46, not enough. You're drinking a bottle of Pepsi, is 101. How much is in a cup of coffee?

About 100. About 100. It's a little bit less than a cup of coffee, you know? Just enough pep. shit in your step yeah i will also say i feel like i pretty you should pretty much never be drinking something that has a hundred of something yeah i agree that's dangerous yeah like a hundred

a hundred a hundred of anything it's bad if you look at ingredients on anything you see a hundred um you shouldn't drink that turn around run the other way yeah 100 degrees turn a hundred degrees run the other way the next the next one it's calorie count now Cameron i want you to take a look at this label here sure okay now i want you to read the of calories. Well, it seems like they did a misprint here because I'm not seeing a number, I'm seeing a letter.

And the letter is O. I want you to take a closer look at that. Oh my God, I just realized. It's a zero. It's a Z as people for the... I thought they messed up on this bottle, but it's actually zero. Yeah.

Zero calories. Because I just couldn't believe that that could be true. It's a completely guilt-free soda. You can drink it and you can drink it and look in the mirror after and not say, look at you. Look at you

Look at you Look at you Piece of shit You're not looking at me or doing that after you drink Because it's not There's nothing in it It's basically fucking nothing There is no calories

It's basically like And you know what? Get yourself a zero bar I think that zero bar has zero calories I don't remember That's a candy bar that's off topic. It has calories.

It has calories? Okay. Well, then don't get a zero bar. Also, I haven't had one of those in a while. Those are pretty good. Off topic. That's off topic. And I said it fast so that...

That doesn't... Take a sip. I just didn't mean to cry. But I just started. I really didn't mean to do this. And I think it's got to be some ingredient that is pushing me towards this kind of emotional state.

Zero sugar. You just turned your mic off, I think. I did. I did turn my mic off. There's also zero calories. A gentleman never drinks Dr. Pepper on Mike. That's for his wife to hear. Yeah, exactly.

Whoa. Caleb, turn your mic off for you do that. Because it's an aphrodisiac. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm throwing these at back. I almost feel like my memory is getting better. Mm-hmm.

And I'm remembering different things I've said. Can I do a human benchmark right now? I'm one and a half bottles deep. On a diet doctor You're supposed to share that bottle Pepper, you can have the rest I don't want this It's scaring me

It's scaring me what I'm becoming Okay let's do it how many calories does it have It's got to be fucking 100 Okay so you're just instantly filled You instantly filled the bench bar You said your memory is getting better I was just testing your memory of what No I've never heard how many calories are in diet Dr. Pepper

I didn't know that Okay well how much sodium is in it It's got to be fucking That one I know is zero because it doesn't taste very salty to me. It's actually 100. Which is the one thing it's okay to have 100 of of sodiums. That's the next...

Well, that's electrolytes it. That's the next thing I love about it. A hundred grams of sodium. It's exactly. 100 milligrams of sodium. 100 milligrams of sodium. It's perfect for you because it hydrates you as you drink it. And it's also got caffeine in.

it to make you crazy faster yeah think better I mean I was saying here is a migraine caffeine it does I was saying before I'm trying to loosen the

loosens your your blood vessels I want to try running a half marathon I think Dr. Pepper might be my little pre-run kind of drink while you run put it in a camelback or one of those double drinker

a pepperback a beer bag oh my god you can make it shaped like a pepper pepperback pepper back pepper back no Pepper back pepper backpack And number I don't even remember what number we're on The next one is

The color of the label Right What do you like So if you look at a Dr. Pepper Right I'm looking at one right now You're looking at a diet Dr. Pepper But think in your mind

Rotate this Why would Patrick like the color of this label A can of Dr. Pepper Now I'll get there A can of Dr. Pepper It's red and white Yeah Diet Dr. Pepper

White and red It's the away team Oh shit Okay It really is And sports fans rejoice Mm-hmm Diet Dr. Pepper

It's the classic jersey With the colors reversed And it's pretty cool And it's even got a football on it Yeah And there's pepper perks It's got pepper perks And it's perfect for football fans

It's like when in a cartoon They run into the same versions of themselves colors. Yep. But, and it's, that's always the best episode. Dr. Pepper, Diet Dr. Pepper, Dr. Pepper, Dr. Pepper, Verniller.

Perper. Dr. Pepper. Dr. Pepper. Dark Burry. I think that they all hang out and they're like the Power Rangers to me. Yeah. The Pepper Rangers. The Pepper Rangers.

Oh my God. That could be a whole new show. Guys, we need a lot of funding to make her show the Pepper Rangers. So basically we want to shift focus now. We need, this is a million dollars that we need really soon to make the Pepper Rangers. The Pepper Rangers is going to be one of the most incredible things. Instead of, yeah, what's it called it, Mighty Morph-F, instead of Mighty Morphan, what is it? Soda sip and Pepper Rangers.

So to sip and Pepper Rangers. Holy shit. That is so good. And look at how fast I came up with that. It's perfect. That's because you've been drinking Dr. Pepper. I've been drinking so much diet, Dr. Pepper. Yeah.

And the bottle is recyclable. Yeah. That's all. That's always good. Hey, I'll tell you how it's recyclable, too. You finish drinking it. You go buy another bottle, fill it up with more Dr. Pepper. And you can bring it to the Coke Free.

And you know what? You show the Kudoba employee. You show them, I'm just to get in a refill. And they go, wow. Yeah. They say it's okay. If you're refilling it with Dr. Pepper. You know Dr. Pepper's not in the Coke Freestyle machine.

You're crazy. Is it not? It is at the one at Kudoba. Wait, that doesn't make any fucking sense. They've bought out Dr. Pepper, smart businessman, bought out the rights to have his drink in a Coke freestyle machine. He bought out his own rights to have his drink. So he didn't own the rights to it.

And he bought it out so that he could have his drink in the Coke freestyle machine. Because he used to have Pib in it. So he's paying extra to get Dr. Pepper into the Coke freestyle. And I had one the other day. day. I had a diet Dr. Pepper cherry. Wow. I'd like Dr. Pepper to pop my cherry. Yeah. Just fuck me. Yeah.

All right. You don't have to say that. Just fucking Dr. Pepper. And the last one here, it contains phenyl phenyl phenyl ketoneutronin. Dude, you got to stop. I'm drooling

over there. I'm so fucking good. It contains, dude. I got to take it on a It contains Fanolik Oh my god The final keto Nukrix

Final keto Nurex are just Fucking oh the final Specifically Finnalanine Phenolanin It's just so good Yeah Oh it's just good

It's the best ingredient It has to be That's the 24th flavor It's honorary It's me I fucking love that Finnalaninine I'm seeing

Okay can I can I I'm gonna read you guys something that I just saw in this bottle. Yeah, she... That just seems like it's on its own here. Must be 18 plus and legal U.S. resident. And there's a whole... I think that's in regards to...

Pepper perks. Yeah. No, I think it's just... I think it just is about the bottle. You think that an 18-year-old has to drink this? Yeah, and a legal U.S. resident. Yeah. Oh, there are pepper perks, though.

I think that's separate, though. I would love to get pepper perks. Well, let's try... I mean, we got a... Yeah. We've got a few bottles of Dr. Pepper right here. I don't see any reason why we can. What if we want a million dollars right now from Dr. Pepper?

Okay. The perks fans deserve. Oh, my God. Get your game face on with limited time pepper perks. Okay, let's log in here. Okay. Do you guys already have a Pepper account? No, we can make one with Google.

Yeah, we'll sign up. Sign in with Google, right there. I'm not going to sign in with Google. I'm going to make an account here. Why not? Why not put it on the podcast email so we can all share it? I mean, I'll still do that, but I don't want to connect it to our Google account. I want...

Because we'll just type all this stuff in here. Why don't you like connecting it to the Google account? It's a security risk, okay? It's a one-click button. It's a security risk. You don't know what... Because people... I mean, we've been talking about the secret formula

of Dr. Pepper the entire time. People are constantly trying to break into the Dr. Pepper database and find the formula. It's kept under lock and key. God, that's a goddamn good point. We should put the name of the podcast in two different banks. I'll do... I'll do...

Two different pieces of paper. First name. Cameron, Caleb, and Patrick. Yes. Uh-huh. Pagric. Pag trick. Doren.

Fetter, Pits, Doren. Yeah. Doren, Pits, and Fetter. Well, I'm middle every time. Well, that's... That is true. Now, I won't say this into the mic, but it starts with Dr. Pepper.

All right. D-O-C-T-O-R or just D-R? Hmm. Okay. I see. Okay. So we're working with a long password here. Yeah, high security.

High security. Yeah, no, I'm seeing that password. That's really good. That's a good one. Okay, let's continue here. Yeah. Create our account. Okay.

Oh, we have to check our verification code here. Oh, yeah, get that email open. Let's get this up here. Okay. Okay, verify our account. I'm doing one of the perks of Dr. Pepper right now. Yeah, the tasting. The drinking.

Let's verify our account here. Your pepper perks await. I'm pretty excited. It feels like Christmas Eve right now. It really fucking does. I'm not going to lie to you. Okay, here we go. Here's our points, guys.

30% off Fanatics. We get that for 30 points. Oh, my, fuck, you guys. We get one free month of ESPN Plus for 40 points. We get a $10 Uber Eats gift card for 60 points. They're out of stock for a $50 E promo code from Fanatics. So many people are buying this bowl. They're also out of stock for the br-the-bring-it box.

the burr ring it box which has a beanie texting gloves charging cords charger and a clear sling bag they're out of stock of that they're out of stock of the no sweat box too and the who's house box and some people are just the snack sacker some people are just going fucking crazy that's so fucked up okay so we have to oh you have to submit your receipt we have to upload a picture of our receipt well that is not going to help itemized receipt we don't have that

we don't have an itemized receipt they just gave me a piece piece of paper that just says... I mean, we could try uploading it anyway. Yeah. Maybe we could scam them. Here, somebody take a picture of this with their phone and air drop it to my laptop, and we'll just upload this, and we'll see. Hopefully, they'll believe, I mean, let's put the, the Dr. Pepper in the picture here.

Could we maybe... Yeah, get all three. Where's the third bottle? Do you think we get fake receipts pretty easily and just, like, basically farm fucking points on here? I think we should try that. It's pretty easy, right? Yeah. Okay, give me that bottle.

All right. Now, now hold it up. Okay, here, I'm holding the receipt up. And hold on to this picture, too. I'm taking it in portrait mode, too. So that it looks better. Yeah, so it looks amazing. So let's take that picture there.

Okay. Okay, great. So now, let me make sure of my... Oh, my God, I just got an Apple news notification. Oh, okay. What happened? Nuclear war started right now. That would be pretty crazy.

It would be awesome. Okay, I just airdropped it to you. Okay. Oh, it just went away. Okay, re-do it. Try it one more time. There we go, except. Okay.

All right, guys, let's hurry this. We got that. Okay, I'm dragging this in here. Okay, select the number three. Three. Right? Okay, it won't let me... Okay, wait, I can solve this.

You guys talk about Dr. Pepper for a second. Man. You know, if I had to make... That is a good picture. Holy shit. That's so beautiful. Holy! If I had to make a list of my favorite parts of Dr. Pepper,

it would be one thing is I like that it's... the bottle is shaped not it's a bit oblong there's some kind of like wind it's it's almost torpedo like and and this right here's what i mean there's like perfect grip yeah exactly it's got good grip perfect grips on it it's almost it almost is a can double as a try try and knock that out of my hand okay i said knock not grab do you see that i did see that i mean it was amazing try again wow i really tried that time too Yeah. And it just stayed in. And it stayed completely.

And it's these plastic perfect grit, try to get one more time. Fuck, that's fucking... Thank you for your submission. We are currently processing your receipt. You'll receive an email shortly notifying you of your status. Holy dude. This is the best day ever. So I guess we'll keep everyone updated too with what happens with this.

But I think we're looking at... I'm not sure how many points you get per thing, but I think we could be looking at getting a $10 Uber Eats gift card pretty soon. I mean... And we could buy... Oh, my God. That's what Dr. P... Infinite Dr. Pets.

I guess infinite Dr. Pepper hack because... I think you probably get one point per bottle. Yeah, so the smallest reward is 30 points here. You need about 30 bottles. So we get the $10. We need 60. I mean, 60 bottles is doable. I'll do that in a fucking weekend.

Take one down and pass it around. Yeah. Let's do that. It doesn't say how many points are... Maybe each bottle is 100 points, and that's why all the top rewards are out of stock. That would make sense. because they're such a generous company. Exactly.

Yeah. All right. Do we have a... No. All right. We're writing it out. Let's just keep going on Dr. Pepper then. Yep.

No, we made it this far. Yeah, exactly. What's another... To switch to another thing... I mean, let's see what else is on Dr. Pepper. I mean, we had different options. We had different points that we probably could have transitioned to a different kind of thing. But it's this point.

But listen, buddy, we're 50 minutes into this thing. We've got to finish this out. Listen to the headings on Dr. Pepper.com. I need to hear that. Bonus points alert. Complete your profile now, I'm so, I can't even talk. Guys, bonus points alert, complete your profile now to earn five points. Holy crap.

We are going to be on our way. Okay, let's complete the profile. Okay. Okay, so you have to connect your Facebook and your Google. Connect both of them. Let's go. Wait, we have to take a photo of us to put as the profile picture. Oh my God, wait.

Okay, favorite Dr. Pepper flavors. Let's go. Select all that apply. Dr. Pepper, Diet Dr. Pepper, Dr. Pepper, Cherry, Dr. Yeah. Dr. Pepper Cream and Cream soda. cherry vanilla Dr. Pepper, Dr. Pepper, Dark Berry, Dr. Pepper Zero Sugar, Dr. Pepper and Cream Soda, Zero Sugar, Dr. Pepper, Dr. Pepper, Fantastic Chocolate, Dr. Pepper, Dr. Pepper made with real sugar.

How often do you drink Dr. Pepper? Once a day, once a day, at least. Once a day. Where do you usually get it? Convenience store, grocery store, restaurant. Restaurant. Well, let me click Restaurant. Well, just click at the bottom. All the above, Dr. Pepper is alive. Oh, here we go. Restaurant, vending machine, stadium event. All of the above, Dr. Pepper is the less. And other... Mommy's house. Mom's pantry. Yeah.

Moms. Pantry. And then period. And then say, oh, and dad's pantry. And dad's pantry. One of us is a child of divorce. Besides Dr. Pepper, what else are you interested in? Movies, music, photography slash videography,

illustration slash design, travel, cooking, sports, pets. That's true for Caleb. Fashion slash style, gaming. And then other... We've got to listen to our vintage porn. Uh-huh. We all love that. Oh, yeah.

Right? I mean, we were, we were looking at it the other day. I just like how they're, their tits just go into, they're like bullet bills. Uh-huh. You know what I mean? What else are we into? Uh, fitness. Website design.

Fitness, website. Yeah, U.S. and U.I. Uh-huh. Treating mental illness. I was going to say, I was going to say, I was going to say, yeah. I was going to say Barbados, but I guess that goes under travel. Barbarian. This is good, too.

Barbarianism. Barbarianism, yeah. Pescatarianism. Yeah. That's something I did for a year. Fish plus chicken is pretty fucking awesome. Different world, world religion. Many, many religions.

Many, many different religions. Metal. Metal music. Metal music and material. Metal machine music that, Lou Reed album. Lou Reed. Lou Reed. Chewing cud.

Yeah. The saxophone. I watched a video about it last night. The saxophone. YouTube, for sure. Oh, YouTube. Impressions. Impressions on YouTube.

Yeah. Circuitry. Yes. Cropotronics. Circus City, Relolage. We put Benging with Babish in there. Yeah, Benging with Babish. Benging with Babish.

And binging with girlfriend. Yeah. And fencing a bad bitch. Uh-huh. Yeah. Bending a bad bitch. We could do that, too. And bender.

And bender. Futurama And from Breakfast Club, yeah And Fender, the guitars And the back of a fucking car Yeah A guitar and her car A...

Oh, wait, wait, listen Okay, Star Seeds Fender Stratacaster Fender Starcaster Fender Telecaster Fender Mustang, Fender Jaguar Fender Jazzmaster

Fender Bender Jizbaster Precision base. Fender, jazz, base. Make an incision on her face. Fender. Surgery. Medical issues.

Electable surgery. Surgery and medical surgery. Yeah. Fender Jazz Master J.Masker's Addison. Autoimmune disorders. Carnivore diet. Fender, Jazz Master, Thurston Moore. Jordan Peterson.

I think that about covers our interest. That probably is all of our things. Oh, oh. One last one. Origami Origami's good Yeah And while you're

Just put Japan Just as a whole Japanese Style White guy Not that I'm just gonna put Japan I'm gonna click

Save changes here Dial white guy Bad request What We wrote all that And it says Bad Request Dr. Pepper

What the hell's going up Okay It won't let us save our profile All right Well What? Maybe we just put too much In the other section

It's It doesn't have a fucking endless, or it's endless. Oh, you didn't fill out two things up there. Well, they're not required, are they? They are required. Yeah, probably all that's required, I would guess. Yeah. Okay, what are we putting for a birthday?

Let's split the difference. Well, it was October 24th was Dr. Pepper Day, right? That's genius. Oh, they were born on Dr. Pepper's birthday. Or Dr. Pepper Day. That's like born on the 4th of July. Phone number 111, 111. No, no, do 617-2-2.

You can do mine. Zip code 1-11-11-1-1 you can do my zip code. No, I have a phone number. Yeah, oh, bragg. I have a phone number. Yeah, 617-299-6257. All right, now let's try. On zip code 0353, London Derry.

All right, let's click save here. Bad request. It's got to be this other section. I think maybe we just leave it. We'll leave in vintage pornography in Japan. All right, that should be enough. Vintage pornography from Japan. Let's just make it all just one thing.

Okay, yeah. Just change it to Japanese pornography. Oh, it already saved. Oh, well, real. Five points earned. Oh, fuck. Yes. Oh, my God.

Let's check our points about it. Oh, my God. Wait, tuition. We are on our way to, like, one of the greatest. Wait, go to tuition. One second, just look at this. Just check this. This is going to blow your mind right here, looking at this.

Holy shit, we have fucking two, five points. Oh, bad image quality. What? We got zero points from a receipt picture. How is that possible? That was such a high quality image. Yeah, that's fucked up. That image was so good, bro.

That's so fucked up. We just got cheated out of points. I bet each bottle is five points. Go to the tuition. How many points to go to college? Okay, let's see here. We're going to be sending a letter to, Dr. Pepper about that ruling or with that picture of this receipt.

We're going to be suing Dr. Pepper. That has to be a tuition giveaway. All right. So Patrick, you didn't finish college. No, I didn't. How to enter. Make a TikTok. This is perfect for Patrick.

Okay. You got this, dude. Upload a video to TikTok to help us get to know you in your biggest dreams. From your academic goals to professional aspirations to personal dreams. Be passionate, be creative, be you, but above all else, tell us how winning will help you achieve these goals and live out your dreams. All right, let's do it. All right.

All right. All right. All right. Are you on? I'm just recording an honest. I'll upload it on TikTok. Well, are you logged into the podcast one? No, I don't know how to do that.

I'll just count. We just got out. Okay, you make it then. Okay. But you can earn up to $100,000, up to $100,000 in tuition. Well, you could go back to school and you could finish your fucking degree. That's true. In Dr. Pepper Sciences.

I never finished my degree, and I think due to a credits mishap, I think I was technically still a sophomore. Well, then you do 100K should cover all that. And you could probably live on campus, too, with the co-eds. That's true. I do love the co-eds. Listen, who doesn't love co-eds? All right. You got to talk in the mic.

Wait, let me put a filter on. Yeah, is there one that's like maybe a graduation cap? Oh, that is funny. Patrick, I think you have a disability, too. Okay, then, yeah, let's, I guess I have to. Okay, this one, I'm in a mirror. Okay. Let me change the

I'm going to have to put it on like three minutes I don't know how there's going to be a lot of retakes Yeah, it's fine It's going to be a lot of editing Okay Talk about your educational goals Okay, wait, let me put more filter Whoa, oh my God, what just happened

All right I turned into, look All right, just record the video I think I just record the video now Okay, please All right, wait, it changed all right you just press record just hit it all right hey dr pepper wait shit just record it hello hello dr pepper i am a i'm 18 and i'm ready to go to college

for what do you want to go for what do you want to go to the official pepper pack go go scroll to go to the we need to see what it needs to say what he needs to say yeah let me just game thing real quick. Yeah, yeah. We'll just hit all the points and then he'll be basically in. It's academic goals, professional aspirations, personal dreams, be passionate, be creative, be you, but above all else, tell us how winning will help you achieve

these goals and live out your dreams. Hey, Dr. Pepper. And you must use the challenge sound, tuition dreaming. Hey, Dr. Pepper. I'm an 18-year-old kid and I am ready to become the one who cures cancer. Where do you want to go to college?

I want to go to... What's like a brain surgery school? Probably like Ronald McDonald's House. Yeah, or like... Ronald McDonald House is a hospital. They have like a medical school. Maybe freaking Dr. Frankenstein has a brain surgery school. Just say Ronald...

Just say you want to go to John Hopkins University. I want to go to Tufts University to cure all brain cancer because my mother and father... Well, not... Wait, stop. Not all... I mean, some brain cancer is probably good, right? My mother and father died of brain cancer. see i made that up okay so and then keep going say your entire family died of brain cancer

and my entire family too and your friends all died and my new friends died and say that and say and now video me and say that i have brain and this is my friend who has brain cancer and then say do video me and say this is my friend who has cool style and this is my friend who has cool style and now and now say your personal dream like be like i want to like play a board game at college or shut up and my personal dream is to play football in college for play brain football no to play on the quidditch team as well because i'm a bit of a nerd and chess chess chess yeah chess and if i win i will cure cancer and play chess okay let's look at this okay let's watch it hold the mic up to it hold your mic up i am i'm 18 and i'm ready to go to college for

Hey, Dr. Pepper. Hey, Dr. Pepper, I'm in... Wait. They'll like that. I got to give some edits to it, right? I use the sound. They'll think that it's endearing. We'll have to go into the editing suite.

You guys will see this on that. That'll come out later. But I do... Before we get out of here, I do just need it. Can you go back to the tuition thing? I've got to see what I got to use. I'm just going to read this before the episode. Because this is really important and you're not going to want to miss this.

There's a heading on their website that's Pepper Pack. And it says, welcome to the official Pepper Pack home. Only the most devoted, most passionate, most 23 flavor-loving Dr. Pepper fans are encouraged to enter beyond this point. Want to join the Pepper Pack? Patience Pepper. Applications will be open soon. And I think that based on the episode we just did, the Episota, I think we are prime candidates for the Dr. Pepper Pack. We have to be let into the Pepper Pack.

So this is our campaign. Put us on the Pepper Pack. Put me in the Pepper Pack. Put me in the Pepper Pack. I need to be in the Pepper Pack. Put me in. I need to be. And my name's going to be Little Pep.

Speaking of the pepper pack, we got a whole pack of peppers that are on our Halloween show. We got Sarah Squirm. We got Jack Bensinger, Eric Rayhill, Pierce Campion, and some more special guests that we had to be fucking announced a shit. So you go to buy a ticket. Swagpoop.com slash shows. Halloween night. Dress up. Dress down.

Uh-huh. Bring a pillowcase. Bring a pillowcase because we will be giving us candy. It's going to be boring. You're going to have to go to sleep. Yeah, heard that. All right, brother. Well, I'll talk to you later.

Bye. Bye. Thank you.