Podcast About List - Ep. 215 - Goodbye, World.

Episode Date: November 2, 2022

Great, the damn world ended! And now we have to do a VIDEO-PODCAST for eternity, now... Well, like, comment & subscribe. https://www.youtube.com/c/podcastaboutlist Get extra premium and D&D episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

At the beginning of time, aliens came to the earth to create the ultimate organic weapon. They created mankind. Eons later, the year is 2022. The festering scourge of humanity still reigns supreme. The robotronic DNA implanted in their genome lies dormant, awaiting activation. and their true purpose is forgotten. Until, light years away, the High Lord Glaxon of planet Robotron declares war on the galaxy, activating the sleeper cell of human robotic hybrids.

But then he choked on Bobo stew and died. He was succeeded by his only son, Fedman FedEx, of the Glogan Army. And now, Commander Fedman approached. Earth with a fleet of Dirksend Destroyo's TM to claim his birthright and to unleash a galactic onslaught of universal proportions upon our pale blue dot. On Earth, the very ground tears asunder. The seas boil and run red with the blood of the unfortunate. They have discontinued Doritos.

Refuge from the assault is only possible for those who are rich and awesome enough to a afford underground bunkers, armed with nothing but a podcast studio, an archive of all human information, and an artificial intelligence protocol known only as Jubio 3. Cameron, Caleb, and Patrick have nothing better to do than to film themselves having fun. Okay, peace out. Hey. Welcome to the first episode of the rest of our lives. That's right. The rest of everybody's lives.

The rest of every single living person on Earth's lives. It all changed. If you don't already know. Go ahead. Explain what happens. Well You're doing a great job, dude The world is fucking over, obviously

And we've been driven into this bunker Thank God Thank God we already prepared for this I know, thank God we spent so many months funneling all the Patreon money Into building a bunker And that's why the show has sucked For so long

Directly into the bunker I can bear it There's no fresh air down here No. Mostly fart air down here. There's not, you know, I've been working on this thing on the weekend. Some of it's pretty fun, actually. Oh, yeah. Check this out. Look at this. Oh.

This is pretty cool. Plasma ball. Yeah. Cutt touch it, Cam. Wow. What are those buttons do? Don't touch the buttons. What about the key? Can I turn the key? Please don't touch the key. Don't touch the buttons. Let's just. What's wrong with the key? Hey, hey, hey, shh. Let's touch the plasma ball. Oh, isn't that fun? Whoa. I can't touch it from my spot

That's okay He's touching the button Don't touch the key What's I want to touch the key Please do not touch the key What's wrong with the key? The key is not Is the key flushes the toilet

And we only have a little bit of water So don't touch the key please Is that true? Yes You have to come all the way out here There's a toilet right off screen Well I'm sitting on it That's like an RV

Oh there it is Yeah Man I really need to flush the toilet No no no no no no This is if you flush the toilet I have it set so that it flushes about 50 gallons of water, and I think we have 55. We'll just recycle the water.

That's a good point. We could recycle it. We could recycle it through Caleb's system, because isn't pee-sterell? So he could drink the dirty water. He pees, and then it's sterile. So maybe I'll just flush this poop water. We can pour 50 gallons of poop water into you, and you could maybe be a human converter. You want to make me eat 50 gallons of poop?

No, I don't drink 50 gallons of poop water. Obviously, we have a filter. We have a filter that will stop the poop from coming out. You're the best BP. The filter is you. And then we turn the poop into food. I don't want to be the food pooper. Well, a lot of people don't want to be a lot of things, but the world is fucking ending, and we don't have a lot of options.

Did you build a fucking poop and pee converter? I don't think so. So you're going to have to be one. Right now, most people are, right now most people are either robotronic weapons or their food. Yeah. I also, we should mention that me and Patrick got a huge ride over an egg for. I don't know. That's why our clothes look like this.

Yeah. I'm completely covered in. See, the thing about going out. This is all my blood. I got a, it wasn't because of a punch to my face. It was because of a nosebleed. And I told you that because the fucking, the new air that we have to breathe is hell for my sinuses. So, I mean, it's funny.

The apocalypse affects people in different ways. I mean, you guys, you kind of lost your minds. I know because a lot of shit is going on. It's, it's, everyone's turning crazy. You guys got in a fight. I shaved my whole head before. I, you know, my whole family was eliminated by the Robotronics and I actually came into a lot of money. So, no, I'm actually really happy.

I don't know where I say boo-hoo because you already know that about me and I was saying a thing. I was wondering why you look so damn good. Yeah, well, it's just like, you know, I'm kind of a billionaire now and I figure I should act apart. Billionaire and money doesn't mean anything anymore. It doesn't matter if you're a billionaire. No, it means something to me, trust me. Well, do you, are you? How do you think I got these clothes with my?

money. I went down to the store. Recently? I bought them. Yeah, like yesterday. Why are we in the fucking bunker then? Well, I mean, you guys don't have money to go spend, so I figure you probably don't need to be leaving or going places. Why are we eating pine cones and shit? We fought it. I thought you guys liked pine cones.

I got more of the pine cones. You got more of the pine cones. You guys don't like pine cones? It's spiky and brown. No, it doesn't taste good. So is a durian. That's the most delicious fruit. If we had enough water, which by the way, you're going to have to, again, Yeah, you're a billion.

Why do we have a button to flush the toilet if you've got a billion dollars? That's state of the art. That costs a lot of fucking money to have a key that flushes a toilet. This did cost so much money doing all this. Oh, you know what? We did also wipe a lot of our money out because we uploaded Jubio died. And we uploaded him into a, he's like an AI kind of thing now. Jubio 3.

Yeah. Yeah, because there was a lot of attempts. Yeah, well, a lot. Was there a lot? Bad. Stop. Bad. Okay, he's going to behave.

He'll be okay. Okay, he's going to be nice. So, I mean, besides all that, what else been going on with you guys? The other day, I went up. You went up? I went up to the surface, yeah. Yeah, I went up to the surface. And guess who I saw?

Who? Celebrity. No. Who? The corpse of my mom. Oh, your mom. Yeah. The corpse?

My mom's dead body. Her dead body She was just up there It was a It was a It was a It was a It was one of Fedman's soldiers

Taunting me With like It's my mom on a Dead body on a fishing rod Fishing rod Like a Marionette That's horrifying Yeah yeah yeah

And he was trying to say like Oh hey come here I'm alive Did you fall for it? I almost fell for it And then I was like Wait my mom's not green Because you've been decomposing

Right Yeah Frankenstein mode Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's still. My mental health is in the tubes. Yeah.

Oh, these tubes. I think, there's tubes behind me. I mean, stuff is definitely shitty. Oh, yeah. I mean, the delis, the bodegas are still open. Walk down, get a pine cone. It's a lot of pine cones. Yeah.

I mean, it's all pine cones now. Yeah. All meat has been wiped out. Well, except You, I mean, you guys know I mean, you guys have gone to the back rooms In the bodegas, you know, I mean, I haven't tried it, But you guys, I go in, they hissing me.

Yeah, well, they are snake people now. Yeah. You guys, I mean, come on. What? Chopped human? I haven't tried it. I haven't tried it, but how much have you been going out? How many times have you gone outside in the past week?

Like once an hour? Once an hour? Just a little bit. We've been out twice. Two times. I've been out two times and one time I see my dead mom. The other time he and I get into a fight. Over a pine cone.

And a tentacle goes up my ass. Yeah. Well, okay, I think I know you guys' issue. He had to pull me. Do you? He had to pull me. There was a tentacle and it came out of nowhere and it went right of his ass. I'm not standing up because it'll look weird on camera.

There is a hole in the back of my, this thing. It ripped right through. Well, I think I know why you guys are having these problems. Why? I mean, when you go outside, are you wearing your $3 million dollar cloaking device? Where would I get a, where, no, I don't have $3 million, let alone spending it on a cloaking device. I'd probably spend it on truck fucking, I'd put Dolby's digital scrown sound and

you'll buy us one? Yeah. You didn't think to maybe, to maybe like share. I thought you guys liked having fun out there. We've got out twice. He's getting fucked in ass with a tentacle. He likes that. I mean, he does that norm.

He did that before this. By the way, I spent my last. I spent my last pine cones on just another pine cones. Yeah, pine cones are money, too. It's all just fucking pine cones. I didn't see, I didn't even know that because to me right now, money is money and food is food. Where are you getting food from?

And who are you buying stuff from? Instacart. That's still around? Yeah. It's even better now. The lines. Who's delivering the food, man? Like everyone died.

Slaves? Slaves See I'll do a lot of things I'll eat human meat I'll pretend that it was a tentacle That went up his ass Instead of accidentally my tongue

Uh huh The last thing I'll fucking do Is get groceries from a slave Because I'll say this much Slaves are dirty And I don't want to eat those groceries Right Yeah most of I mean

Let's not say that What's not say what I mean they're covered in debris And ash from burning cities Maybe one person here Just got a new job Who? You

a job? Well, it's less of a job. It's more of a servitude. Are you, wait, Instacart or Gitter? Getter. You have to wear the outfit and stuff? I have to wear the outfit and I have to ride the bike. Oh my God.

I see those guys. The bike that's made out of, like, human bones. Yeah, it's human bones. It's like HR Geiger thing. Yeah, yeah. I've seen some of those guys around. It's really gross what they've done to the world. You know what?

If we can't, Jubio, can you pull up a photo of what they've done to the world? Can we see like just a photo of what It looks like outside. Yeah, he'll work on them. Yeah. But in the meantime, one thing that I do, we're talking about apps, like Instacart and Getter, I do like, since the Robotronics get here, that app that they developed, a laser. Have you guys seen this app?

L-A-S-R? I have not seen laser here. And you can press a button and it eliminates a random person in the world. Wait, just one button? Yeah, on the app. I want you to pull this up right now what you've shown us. This is what it looks like outside. Holy fuck.

It looks like this outside. It's fucking. This can't be fucking real. No, it is. This is somebody took a selfie out of it. Oh, my God. And this is right outside our house. The King's arms, that must be referring to Fedman.

Because he has eight arms. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It must be that. Yeah. But anyway, besides all this, it's been pretty, I've been all right. Yeah, I've been, I've been chilling. Yeah, I got, uh... Video games to the death.

Yeah. Yeah. I've been really good at this new game. I made a... What is it? It's called Chase the Ball of Jarn. What? It's called Chase the Ball of Yarn. It's called Chase of Ball of Yarn.

Chase of the Ball of Yarn. Chase of the ball of yarn. Uh-huh. Taste of the ball of yarn. And what I do is, like, when you guys are asleep, I get the zoomies. Uh-huh. I run back and forth with a little ball of yarn. That's the other thing.

I've got to take him out twice a day. Yeah. Take him to the fucking park or else he's zooming all over the place when I'm trying to sleep. Uh-huh. Right? Yeah. And I don't have any of my shots. Yeah.

No. And he's going to need new shots. We'll get you some shots. We'll get you some shots. I have a, I have a. bunch of shots in the closet here. Oh. Yeah.

I mean, is there any way that we could get all of our clothes, like all the clothes that we used to have back? Yes. Okay.

I think I will pay a company a billion dollars to make replicas of our entire wardrobes. That's great. Because I think that these shirts are ugly and I don't want to see your thing. Yeah, his nipple is completely,

yeah. Yeah, I don't like seeing that thing, so I'm going to get you some clothes. You don't like my nipple? I, I might have, I might have destroyed both of our shirts in the fight. these are the only shirts we had left

we're going to get you some new shirt we're going to get you some fire show I'm going to get you one with lamps all over it and I'm going to get you one that says skater okay apocalypse apocalypse uh albums what did you guys bring oh my god because we had a couple minutes before

I didn't bring anything you bring that I brought the Lincoln Park JZ split yeah luckily I mean the thing is we do have a record we have an archive of the entire internet on here so we do have every album ever but they're all Did you spit, you have an archive of the entire internet? Yeah, so we do have, we do, we have this song, for example. Here, just throw this up right now what you have right here.

Just throw this up on the, show the screen. We have this right here. Show that you, Jubio, you looked up Kendrick Amar. Yeah, we need to do so a little bit more. Jubio 3 has a bit buggy. Uh-huh. See, it was three attempts and every single attempt, I think I got some kind of oil on the computer. Yeah.

Yeah. And the third attempt, it was the one that worked, was not the best attempt. No. No. Yeah. Something in his kind of computer genome, I think, got a little. Look at him smiling like that right now. There's not right.

There's clearly something wrong with that man. Why didn't we at least change how he looked? Yeah. Right? We could have made him anything. We should have at least given him like sunglasses. Or like we could have made him like an anime. He could have been anime.

Do you know what actually would have been great is if we didn't change his appearance and we actually preserved how he looked right before we. Whoa, he just got a hat! With a giant gaping hole in his face. That might have been nicer. That would have been really nice, honestly. A hole that covers all his horrible facial features. You just got a hat.

Get that hat off your head. Yeah, thank you. Delete hat. Jubio 3. At least, I mean, I guess... Okay, run the peace sign protocol. That looks awesome. That's a really good protocol.

So I guess the nice thing is that if we have an archive of the whole internet, we have some i mean we have stuff to look at right yeah yeah like like what do we have here jubio three we have this website it's prepper 365 again an archive of it this is i guess um i kind of just want to like check this out and see how we stack up against like all the stuff that they have here right here let's start with the myths about preppers because we didn't do a ton of of prepping ourselves yeah here okay so um this is This is a- Hi prepper. Have you guys ever, I mean, we're, we, we spent most of our time, honestly, on building the thing. We didn't really get to the prepping stuff. I thought that this was going to happen maybe like, you know, 20-24. Or, yeah, 2023. 23, 23, 2024, 2020, maybe December, 2020, November, well, I guess it did happen in November. Trust me, I thought this was going to happen way later and I did no prepping at all, even for this episode. I thought it was going to be 2012, all.

also, but the next 2012. Right, yeah. Because there's B, C, A, D, there's going to be another one. Yeah. So I thought maybe we'd hit another 2012 at some point. I did a little prepping, but it was mostly just walking around to see if to train myself for walking. Oh, you know what I did? You know what I did prep?

What? Pokemon Go. It's not going to connect to anything. Really? Yeah. Yeah, it doesn't. So that means that I am still the ruler of the gym. gym as game stuff. You'll be the gym leader for that

good word. The LES. The thing is, yeah, the only apps that work now are Robotronic approved apps and most of those. I mean, they do have they have slave go, but that one is, I don't really Yeah, I don't really like playing that one. No, it's also, that's not even on your phone they hand you a butterfly net. Yeah. It's not in a backpack. It's like I can only fit one guy in there, first of all, my inventory. And then all of a sudden you're doing micro transactions for roboccoins. Uh-huh. Right? because you have to get a bigger bag.

It is nice, though, if you... You need to get a watch for your slaves, it's got to get a G-shock. When you get that app and you find out you have a slave stop right across the street from your house, you can hit it every day. Yeah, yeah, that is nice. You just sit in your bunker and just spin that thing.

The thing that I don't like, though, is they're not, they don't even... There's no such thing as rights anymore. He could just put Pokemon in the game. Yeah, that's a good point. Hey, buddy, I'll tell you something. There's one right nowadays, and you know what it is? Fedman FedEx he's right yeah you're a big Fedman I'm a Fedman supporter yeah I mean obviously

I don't support listen I didn't I didn't support I never thought I would support someone like Fedman but I will say once you guys get a little older you get a little bit of money in the bank you're gonna start you're gonna start seeing things differently you're thinking that maybe one one day when we make a little bit of money we're gonna all of a sudden switch from being people who like humans you're gonna be yeah think that we shouldn't have slaves on earth and that earth shouldn't be destroyed to oh now now Fedman and his dad Glaxon, who rest in peace. Uh-huh.

The thing is, disagree with the guy politically. To say that he deserved that is like, that's bullshit. Yeah, that's not, that's not right. Yeah, it's a horrible way to go. I don't care. He was only like 380.

I actually don't care that he's fucking dead. And you know what? If you hear this, Fedman, okay, so your dad was a bitch. No, don't say that. You're going to get that, don't say that, don't say that. I'm going to have to suck. Cut away from him.

Okay. Thank you. I'm still on the screen. Cut to a day. Thank you. Okay. No, and your figure is bad, too. No, get him out, get him out.

Stop. Fedman, we like you. So here's some myths about preppers. Number one, prepping is expensive. Yeah, you got that right. We didn't do a damn lick of it because it was so expensive. What do you mean? We built all this.

I bought a plasma ball. Oh, I thought, no, no, no, because this doesn't count as prepping. Why? We got walls. It's a bunker. It's a bunker, sure, but it's not, this is not prepping. I just realized I can hack Jubio right now. I made him scream and pain.

Oh, my gosh. That many keys just to become screams? Yeah, I tie it. I think it was just this key that did it. No, that's a short scream. You have to type in the whole thing. Okay. I made him say hi.

Yeah, I'm not a fan of that. Yeah, there's so many fun toys back here. That we're not going to touch, though, because some of them flushed toilets and some of them turn the fridge on. Which one turns the fridge on? This one's a fish cake. Listen, until we get a refriger, something that's really good, we're not wasting water on the fridge. Water-powered fridge, by the way. Okay.

Speaking of fridges, my old fridge back in the day keeps leaking water. I don't know what's going on with that. I think there's a clock. My fridge leaks like a red. It's leaking into the fridge. My old fridge would leak into the fridge. in like this Is it just condensation?

I don't know what's happening but I was supposed to have a party on Sunday the 30th But the fridge is ruined The fridge is being weird It's still gonna happen Or it was still gonna happen

It did happen It still happened But the beers and stuff Might have been wet They wet Okay Don't you want a beer to be wet though Isn't like every commercial

They're like Here's the beer They slam it down Waterflies everywhere And the thing is man I'm walking around I got my gloves on. I don't want to get my fucking gloves wet drinking beer.

That's right. I'll say that shit with my chest. I do not want the condensation on a beer glass. I don't want that. My fingerless Jack Skellington gloves. I don't want condensation on those, man. To the Bud Light Corporation back when you were around. I mean, actually, I think they're still around.

I think they are. I think they're one of the few things that didn't get destroyed. But the Bud Light Corporation, if you get... If your ice-cold beer is condensated to the point that my Jack Scalington fingerless gloves get wet and they smell. Yeah, that's a problem. I'm going to the Budweiser Ranch. I'm putting too much ketamine in all of your damn Clydesdales. That's right.

Uh-huh. I'm going to tranquilize the fuck out of them. And if your beer, if it's too hard to open, I'm going to kill every one of you. Yep. Yeah. Hey, here's the other thing. take those cans, those bullshit cans, put a bottle top on them.

That's right. A screw top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why are we fucking around in Arizona? Why are we doing all this bullshit fucking tab shit? At least make the can come with a can opener. There's a tool that opens the can. Why do I have to do it with my finger?

Make a little thing that's attached to the side of the can. Look at my finger. You pull it out. Do you think that this finger could open a can? No, I need a tool. Look at this finger. It's tough. Tiny. Hey, here's another thing.

Hey, pine trees. Make more pine cones. Yeah. Why are we getting every pine tree? We're getting, fucking, we're getting like 16 pine cones. We should grow, we should grow pine trees down here. How? We should have a little hydroponics lab with the poop water because poop is fertilizer from the toilet, plant some pine cones.

That's seeds, right? So you want to get a, you know. Our pine cones seeds. Pine cones are definitely seeds. I need this, a jubio-3. Look up if pine cones. Cones are seeds because I genuinely need to know. A pine cone is fucking is black

as night, though. Most seeds are dark in color. I meant the sun. The sun is black and there's nothing coming. There's no rays. We're going to get some sun lamps and we're going to grow some little pine trees down here. Here's some fun facts about, they're not seeds. Okay, we won't plant them. Storage compartments for dozens of seeds.

Oh my fucking God. Wait. One pine cone could be dozens of pine trees. And imagine how beautiful Christmas will be next month. If we start growing these pine trees now, they'll probably be full grown by Christmas. That's a good point. I think Christmas is canceled. I think Santa died.

Santa's dead. Santa's for sure. Don't you ever fucking say that ever again. Okay. I don't care if it's true or not. Don't fucking say it. Okay. What?

Santa found dead. That's from 2017. Click on that. No, no, it says 3.43A.D. Santa died. He died that long ago? Jesus Christ. Santa found dead on the New York.

Post. Can you imagine what it was like pitching this story in the fucking in the New York Post? Yeah. There's like, go down.

Paris Hilton upskirts and stuff. I don't know what happened today. Scroll down. There's been no like teenager subway surfing or anything. Let's, Santa found dead. Yeah, Santa found dead.

This will scare people more. Real life Santa Claus grave found an extremely important discovery. Who's Virginia? Yes, Virginia. There was a Santa Claus. Who is Virginia? That's from.

Miracle on 34th Street. Oh, I've never seen it. They found the tomb of Santa Claus. What? They found a tomb of Santa in Turkey. It was in Turkey? Wait, Santa was in a buried under a Middle Eastern church

all this time? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Wow. St. Nicholas used his whole inheritance who assists the needy and the sick, the suffering. Okay, so that's not presents. That should just go-fund me. Yep.

Talk to him. Wait, listen. One tale claims that a mysterious bag of gold appeared in the home of a man who was desperately trying to marry off his daughters in order to obtain a dowry. If not, the girls would be sold into slavery. This legend led to the leaving of stockings on fireplaces in hopes the jolly visitor might fill them with gifts. What does that mean? Those things don't connect. This is the story of Santa, I guess.

My daughters are going to become slaves, and I think I will save them by putting stockings and getting Santa Claus to give me presents. You can put gold in them. What's St. NicholasCenter.com. Let's check this out. We're back on it. No matter what we try to do this, the podcast always comes back to just reading a website about Santa.

Yeah, we do all this shit. Get a wide shot, Jubio. We do all this, right? And then we're just fucking looking at Santa websites again. Look at this shit. Pull it back up. I don't care. Go to the South class. Cut out St. Nick. Word search. Word search. I'd like to cut out St. Nick from the...

Wait, there's a crossword, too? We have a printer in here. We could do this right now. No, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, go to the crossword puzzle. The shift game. Find the S words. Yeah, I'll find one shit.

Come on. Okay. Yeah, you're, uh, I think that, uh, Fedman might have outlawed cussing also, by the way. In Europe, really? St. Nicholas often leaves treats and children's presence. He is called center clause in Turkey. Turkey. Dutch.

New Jersey. Jersey. Robotron. He helped those in his... North Pole. In the North Pole. Nicholas taught people about presents.

Whose birthday celebrated at Christmas? Santa. St. Nicholas' staff is called the elves. Or a sleigh. What? That's his staff. What do you mean?

Or the reindeer, too. Does he, I didn't, I've never seen, all the Santas that I knew about growing up. All the Santas you knew about? Black Santa, white Santa. They told you about your,

if you were taught about different races of Santa's? I saw a black Santa at the mall. And did somebody say like that's a different Santa to you? They said that's not, that's a different Santa. Yeah, my mom said that's a different Santa. Really? No. Oh.

So we're just telling lies now. Okay. Hey, I'm stuck in this bunker. I'm going to start making up some stories. Okay. Yeah. That's, I mean, isn't that what humanity is. about making up stories.

You know what we're just continuing. This is important. I'd like to touch on this. Yeah, I'd like to touch this. Yeah, I would also like to touch that. It is so much fun to touch this thing and watch the thing follow your finger. I love the plasma ball. I do think, you know, how does humanity survive through things like the Great Flood?

The Great Depression. The Great Depression. The Great Craziness. Yeah, yeah, exactly. The L.A. riots, right? The great celebrity deaths of 2016. Cameron's bathroom incident. Yeah.

Because of the oral tradition. Not many people. Because they were brave men and women and mystics and very precocious young children who would tell stories and tales to continue this amazing tradition of humanity. So that's our job. Yeah. Is that we got to keep this thing going, right? Because it's just three guys, a plasma ball, a button that flushes the toilet, another button that turns on the refrigerator. A reel to reel.

A real to real. A Mexican guy that we put into a laptop. Uh-huh. And an aquarium. yeah you know so that's my so can you guys maybe clap for my speech it's thank you thank you we're gonna we're gonna do this thing and us three and yeah and keep clapping and us three we are gonna repopulate the earth us three yeah yeah starting with us two against patrick i'm excited penis war yeah i can't wait yeah whose sperm's gonna work i know well okay here's that you

remember when we were looking up and there was all those horrible spaceships green glowing descending onto the earth your head will be the earth and we will be the spaceships with the parts of our bodies that dangle yeah okay if you think of your but yes as a as a as a as a bucket okay now imagine a bucket full of mayonnaise yep and this will be your situation think of the think of you know the way they destroyed the white house and the capital building and the Empire State building and all that stuff just a couple days ago when they invaded. Oh, when they had that big gaping

thing. Yeah, they completely baked them up. And you could see like all the... Exactly. So the Empire State Building and the Washington Monument, that'll be us too. And you will be the spaceship that's basically sucking all the stuff up. Pat, what I want you to imagine is I want you to imagine your butt as a turkey

and uncooked turkey. Yeah. No feathers. It's about to go in the oven. Now imagine me and Caleb as Mr. Bean. So you're going to put your head in my butt. And then imagine, do you know how Mr. Bean loses his watch inside the turkey? That watch could either be interpreted as a cock ring, as many droplets of sperm, or as a growing fetus. Maybe the base of the condom.

You know the condom has that, you know how when you put the condom on, there's all that extra stuff? Right. So the watch could pretty much be anything that's staying inside your butt. So you're going to put your, so you're going to put your, You're going to put your hand. No, no. So like that hand, why don't we have a cockering on our hand?

Like Mr. Bean, you're going to put your hand in my, in my butt to get the sperms out? No. No, we're going to put your hand to push you even further into your body. Let me give you another metaphor then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or I guess it's a simile, right? Can you help me here? Like, I guess imagine all, my brain is white.

Imagine, okay, here, imagine a TV, your butt is a TV. And there's sexy videos playing on it, first of all, but that's not important. The back of TV, HDMI port, that's actually your butt, okay? HDMI port. Now imagine me and Caleb's penis, it's two HDMI. So you got H.DMI 1, HGMI 2 on the back of the TV. A lot of things have two inputs now. Hey, you know what?

Cameron's got more of an RCA thing going on. Now imagine Patrick. This shit's not updated. What are you talking about? You have a peasant's penis. Will you let him describe destroying your body with his penis? Your butt, you have two holes, okay, obviously. HDMI 1, H.D.M.I.2.

Now, imagine two H.D.MI cords, okay? And they're covered in lube. And they squirt. He's got RCA cables. And they squirt sperm into your hole. Yeah. And then a baby grows inside you. I know how sex works.

Let me get this joke about how. You already got it. It was nothing. It's a good one. I'm sorry. I'm not going to give it to you. It was completely nothing. It was a bad joke.

It didn't make any sense. I don't even know what an RCA cable looks. Yeah, and red, white, and yellow ones. Red, white, and blue. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. That is gone.

Yeah. Okay. Imagine a volcano. Okay. And we're fucking the volcano. Here's the worst thing about these Glaxon destroyos. They fucking... Oh, the Dirkson's?

The Dirkson destroyos. They turned the flag. They turned it upside down. They turned it upside down. They disrespected the flag. They drained all the color from it. They dreamed all the cum from my fucking dad, and they're making clones of them. Yeah.

That's not right. Disgusting. That's not right. right there's i mean they're back in the days of human rights i don't even want to know what they're doing to my dad well because your mom's dad and they're using her as a human puppet so your dad has to be probably like fucking probably like a sex slave yeah yeah i can i think my dad is it is a total sex slave for the glaxon army yeah here's what they did to the flag show this jubio jesus oh my god that's not right that is not fucking right they put this guy on them they put it looks like

baffamette and then i even stars are five pointed stars and the cross the stars well they put stars in the stripes I don't know why they had to put the here's a good thing you already have busy it's hard it does not legible for the distance if you want to do a Satan thing you already have five pointed stars

why would you turn the the stars of the American flag into upside down crosses you don't need the upside down crosses they turned a lot of monuments and fancy buildings upside down too now take a look at this flag yeah they also this was another thing they did this is the one that's hanging now uh huh yeah

They got it. It's very scary. That is scary. That is a terrifying flag. But they did actually, they turned upside down a building or two. They did one in Myrtle Beach. I think they even turned a building upside down.

Oh, yeah, they did. Wait, wait, search. Search. Myrtle Beach. You know what the worst thing they did? You know what the worst thing they did? What? Took the lean out of that tower of Pisa.

They did. They made it straight and just normal. And they illegal. They illegal. lean. It was legal for one day before this happened and they illegalized it. Look at what they did. Look at what these pieces of shit did to this world.

What the fuck? Jesus Christ. Look at the crowd of people. They're screaming. They fell out of the top. All of these people are crying. They fell out of the top. You see that hole? They all fell right out. It's fucking horrifying. That could happen to anyone building. They have a machine that turns buildings upside down. You know what else they did recently? What? Jubio.

Pull up, search sphinx. Pull up sphinx here. pull this up just no with an eye spell it normal okay that's a cat I never foresaw put up the picture yep put that picture up on here what the hell they do this now if you look closely on here they took the nose off the sphinx oh my god that thing had a nose I remember that and they updated they did it in all the pictures too have a beautiful beautiful all these pictures used to have noses not only did they take the nose off they photoshopped the nose out and they took all the old pictures

and they took the picture they have good cameras yeah they're from space yeah they I don't know how to work in space. They all have a RICO GR2. All right, let's check the, let's go to the, that's not even a great camera. I do want to cover some of these. So we, all right, so let's see how these apply to us. So we're preppers, we've established that.

We have a whole, we have a whole kind of room here. Number one, you have commander, or number two, we already did the money thing. You have to have commando like skills. While skills are certainly an important part of being prepared, you don't have to be skilled in hand-to-hand combat to prepare for most disaster situations. Are there preppers with a military background? Absolutely.

helpful? Yes, necessary, no. So now, so I have a military background, right? I did gymnastics for two years. He didn't do that. And so who won the pine cone fight? Well, I lost because there was a tongue in my butt. And I was very experienced in Tai Chi and meditation and who didn't fight. I have a military. I come from a military family. Yeah. Do you? Most of my uncles were in the army And where'd that get them now, huh? They're all fucking, they're probably making your dad Probably doing ass-to-ass like the end of Requiem for a dream right now with your dad

And there's a bunch of aliens going on that scene up real quick Ass to ass! Don't pull that scene up. I don't think we're allowed to pull that. It's on YouTube. I don't think we can watch that. No, I think that's a bad idea. No, I think if you look up Requiem for a dream ass-to-ass-as

and I don't think we accidentally installed a content filter in Jubio I can't do anything like that. The Patreon controls. Can you look up ass-to-ass two guys? No, it's not going to help us in any way, I don't think. I am excited that we, that thank God, the only website that the aliens left up is Patreon. Yeah. Because we're going to be making fucking big.

What a fucking relief. Nobody can pay for Netflix anymore. Nobody can pay for Amazon Prime. Nobody can pay for Paramount Plus. Say what you will. All those subscriptions coming to us now. I'm one of Fedman FedEx's biggest critics, I will say. I would say you're kind of a complainer.

Yeah, well, I'm one of his biggest... I'd say you're one of Earth's biggest babies. I'm one of his biggest critics. I will say, though, I do love his undying support for independent creators. Yeah, he is, honestly. Yeah, he kept up fansly and... Only fans and all of that. I mean, that's what I'm saying, guys.

I think if you look a little deeper into his policy, you'll find that he's a very reasonable guy who has a lot of humanity's best interest at Harton. Yeah, because he kept grailed up. Yep, he kept grailed up But now it's called Grilled and he sells human meat on it Yeah Yeah He sold Rick Owen's bones

What is grailed even I mean look at this A platform for personal style What do you sell your body on here For fucking money Yeah I think this is for I think this is for Robotronics

to get human disguises It's because Robotronics are The one thing that I will I mean, if we had a photo of a robot, it's hard to get a photo of them. Right, we don't have one yet. They do love Stozy.

They love Stozy. They love Echo. That can be kind of an ongoing thing for us. Maybe we can go out in the next few weeks try to capture some footage of Robotronics. Yeah, we can maybe try, I guess. Yeah, because we don't have any right now. Yeah.

We did get a good clip of one of their ships descending, one of the Dirksen Destroy. Yeah, we did. That one was pretty good. That was pretty, yeah. So go back to the myths. I want to check these out. God, my nipples really is out, huh?

Yeah. Um, uh, so you're a delusional slash delusional slash delusional slash conspiracy. Dilusional. Well, this is about, this is about the, the pee purifying thing. So you're, you're, you're kind of a dilutional because you drink poop and dirt water and you dilute it into normal water with your body. Okay. You're right. Yeah.

I guess. So here's a, here's, this has an age well. You don't have to be an Alex Jones fan to realize that natural and manmade disasters can do and will happen. I do not think that the government is reading my mail, although they obviously have the ability, nor do I think the aliens are, are secretly running our government. Yes, I actually heard that one recently. So, but, and that actually ended up being really true. Yeah.

Yeah, that was actually. There was a bunch of, most, every single person that was in power. Yeah. Turned out to be like a sleeper cell robot. Yeah, they had robotronic DNA in their system. Human weapons. Michelle Obama was an alien. Yeah.

And I will, what I will say, most of, I mean, most of the people in power, they turned out to be human, but with robotronic DNA align they'd be controlled. Yeah. But most mayors and selectmen, full alien. Completely alien. Completely alien. Oh, yeah. Especially the selectmen.

I mean, you should have guessed from a name like that, selectmen. Yeah, because they asked. What human would call someone a selectman? Yeah, exactly. They were selected by the aliens. Exactly. Selected men. Selected men.

Exactly. Okay. You are hoping for the end of the world. Yeah, I guess I wasn't hoping for the end of the world. I was just making sure I was prepared. I wasn't hoping because I, I mean, I had that big. party I had planned for some day. Yeah, that's true. We're not going to wear costumes, and Caleb and Cameron were going to bring.

But Caleb and Cameron brought, what did you guys bring? You said you brought your egg? I brought an egg salad that has, yeah, yeah, it's a pretty good egg salad. I have a feeling that I brought some kind of sweet delete, delete. Sweet delete, delete. See, no, they didn't have delete, delete back then. Yeah, I'm sorry, yeah. A dessert, a delight.

Oh, that's amazing. A sweet delight. See, that's going to be, but I call it a sweet delete. That was really good. Yeah. And I really enjoyed it. The only problem is I don't know. What was your favorite part of it?

I guess my favorite part was when we watched the scary movie. I meant the favorite part of my sweet delete. Oh, your sweet delete? My favorite part, it was how full it made me. Good. All right. Preppers are just religious zealots. I want to go down here to the end of this thing.

Preppers are just religious zealots. Building an arc, which we tried to do, by the way. The wood prices are just fucking out of control these days. Sheat metal, though? While many Christians will say Proverbs 21 is, is a basis for their preparations. There's treasure to be desired and oil in the dwelling of the wise,

but a foolish man spindeth it up. Not all Christians subscribe to this concept. I've even heard some Christians say that prepping is based on a lack of faith, though I disagree with this. The fact remains that some do believe this. It's just as prepping is not limited to those who hold certain political beliefs,

nor is it limited by religious affiliation. I mean, we're three different religions here. You know, I'd recently converted to Glogonianism, you know, because I wanted to... Oh, good for you. I didn't know that. Yeah, I didn't want to be.

be like, you know, because I was... That's big. Going from like... I actually recently converted too to Judaism. Oh, really? Yeah. It was hard as fuck to be a Muslim in the post, like, annihilation world, you know?

Like, it just is, honestly, it's just hard to find, like, halal food. So I was like, like, pine cones don't cut it for some reason. They, like, for whatever reason, pine cones are not halal. They might not be kosher either, so I'd watch it. Yeah. So, the important thing about the kosher thing is you can't eat human meat with human cheese. Yeah. I just converted.

And you can't boil. if you ever get a hand on his mom and you want to eat him, you can't boil him in her milk. Yeah. That's like way out of line. She's got no more milk. She's a green decomposing. They took the milk out of her? They took, hey, there's, there, I don't

even know if there is any milk left. There was. There was any left. There was milk left in your mom. I don't think so. There was a huge amount. When I saw her, when I saw her on those puppet strings, I don't even think she had a jaw. Really? Yeah. I will say before,

before this whole thing happened, I did use my milk scanner, and there was a lot of milk. Yeah. I used my milk scanner right here. I used, I converted to a new type of agnostic. What? Called atheism.

You're going atheists on us, man? Yeah. After all this, what about, I'm going to get a... Look at this. Hey, atheist, try this out. You know what? I'm back to agnostic.

Okay, that's right. Because you're not sure. Because there's certain things in this world, like a plasma ball, where you go, yeah, maybe God isn't real. Christianity's fucking bullshit Glogon's not even fucking real Then you touch a plasma ball and you say

Well who made this? Yeah Right Who made the elements of this? Exactly And also how is it heating my finger up so fast? Is it hot? It kind of gets hot if you keep it there

Yeah I'm gonna start getting Now that I'm agnostic I'm gonna start getting all sorts of Crazy tattoos Really? Yeah Like what?

Probably like a fisherman Yeah Because of what happened Because of what happened This one's a lot This one's aged pretty poorly now, I think. I mean, this guy, this is what kind of what your mom looked like, right? Yeah, it was just no jaw.

Okay. And the crown of thorns. The crown of thorns was made out of just bullets. Really? Just, but bullets kind of just reaming her head. Oh, well, just, no, scalp either. I got one of my dad. Yeah.

Oh, wow. Yeah, I don't know if you guys can see that on camera. Yeah. I just got that. Yeah. He's, uh, I mean, I also don't know if you guys looked like. Like when you saw him? Yeah.

Well, he's, I don't know if you guys have, yeah. Oh, that's the smell. Yeah, yeah. That's my dad, my mom, my uncle, my aunt. You put him in a pile? You kept everybody. Yeah, what am I going to do? Throw him away?

I saw, I saw most, on FaceTime, I saw pretty much my whole family get disintegrated. But I didn't know they kept my mom and dad to keep me, to keep taunting me. Well, now it's called Space Time. Yeah. True. Let's check out this list of the... Preppers just hate Obama. Wait, wait, wait, go back to that one.

I actually do want to read that. Preper just hate Obama. That was actually, that was also true. Certainly didn't endear him to many folks in part of the country, but the fact remains that the Prepper survivalist movement long predates the Obama presidency. Remember Y2K? That turned out to be true. So it actually just was a little delayed.

That's why Jubio doesn't have any memories of anything and his family. He doesn't remember anything about his family, right? And he also likes getting hit. you know he actually likes it you know but he can't he also can't speak so he doesn't he can't tell you but he does like it he really really likes it others say it goes all the way back to the pilgrims my parents are both depression babies hey you don't have to tell anybody that yeah that's your your parents your grandparents your grandparents didn't want to have your parents yeah that's that's fucked up you don't have to tell anybody that's something you

say in therapy buddy you don't say that on your website. Let's see. What else is on this, the miss? Hope for the best, prepare for the words. That's about it. Preper's an advertisement here. I like the look of that for some reason.

Can you zoom in on that? Yeah, zoom in on this here advertising. Oh, actually zoom in on that one. Yeah, this picture to zoom into either the right or left side of this picture really far. Oh, I ate that the other day. A foot? No, the cream. Oh.

Oh, actually, Pat, this is a really good representation of what me and Caleb are going to do. This is kind of what we were looking for. I could be the left foot. You can be the right foot. And we can both be the spoon, obviously. And yeah, maybe we're, oh, maybe we're sharing a spoon. Yeah. That's not a bad idea.

Yeah. Okay. There's more stuff on this website. Go to the prepper list. So I wanted to get into this for a little bit. So I have a couple of items that I think that are going to be pretty helpful for us. Jubio, if you want to cut to the close-up thing. And you hold my mic up to me so I can.

Okay. So here's the, so I have a couple of. of things that I think will be held. One, I do, I know we've been eating pine cones, but I did share one thing, and maybe for one of our birthdays or something, I have one can of beefaroni. Oh, I don't hold that up to the, hold that up to the, here, here, here, you guys can have, I don't like beefaroni. You don't like beefaroni? Okay. I don't even care if it's the last thing I, I, I'm allowed, or the last real food that I'll be able to eat in the world. I don't think I'm ever going to eat that. And, uh, I don't know why I bought, but this is the, I have just a mayonnaise.

I like that. Hold that one up to it. I love that. I can make some real good... I can make some real good pine cream sauce with that. Romantic dinners. We might want to pop open a little bit of bubbly. Okay.

All right. Well, that one... What the hell? That is scary. So just show it maybe to this other one. There we go. Yeah, just a little bit of that. I think something bewitched this mountain do.

Oh, yeah, magic's real now, too. Oh, shit. I mentioned that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, magic is completely real. Everyone on a glow stick. Whoa, hold on. Now I've got to hold.

I can't even open my glow stick up. I'll open it for you. I got you. Okay, you can hold. You know, purple or green? You can hold your mic this whole time. We shouldn't do green probably because it will become bewitched. Oh.

Wow. You've been able to hold the mic the whole time. Whoa. These are real genuine Rothko. They're actually real. Well, look at this. Oh, I got green. I figured maybe we want to keep.

up morale around the bunker, so I got some, just a couple of things, you know, like, you know. Oh, this is good. Oh, wow. I mean, what's better than that, right? Here's my glow stick. This would be great to hang up, maybe. Oh, yeah, we can hang that up. I could put this thing.

Yeah, yeah, that's not a bad idea. I got another one. This one says, see, and I think we all need, like, positive affirmation in the morning and shit, especially with the stuff going on in the world politically. So this says, you know, you did not wake up to be mediocre. So we're going to wake up, and we're going to be some of the best fucking pine cone hunters. I think that would go perfect. Uh, right here.

I think we could get a thumbtack and put it right there, you think? Yeah, that might be nice. Yeah, that's not a bad idea. That is a pretty good idea. But we'll just put him on here for now. Uh-huh. And then what else we have? Um, we have rope so we could tie him up when we were doing later.

Yeah, you can hold on to that. This is exciting for us. I have one MRI here. Oh, why don't we make and eat that right now? He said you don't like beef ravioli. This is beef ravioli in meat and textured soy protein sauce. Let's see how this is. Yeah.

I know how to make these, actually. All right. And then one more thing that I have is because we've got to keep ourselves safe. I think if this is what I, if I remember correctly. Oh, yeah. Oh, and see, this will be perfect to help me open up the bag of beef ravioli. So this is a Ninja Star that I bought. It was $7.80.

I don't know what the conversion of pine cones would be. But it also comes with a nice case. And that is sharp. Is it sharp? Did you just hurt yourself on it? No, I just opened the bag really quickly. So next time that we get in some kind of fight, I definitely am going to make sure that I have that on me. And usually these MREs come with some kind of dessert.

So is that what you're gunning for instantly? And I'm excited. I think we can treat ourselves. The last time I ate an MRE, it had some kind of peach thing in it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Nutrition facts. I was right.

What does it have grape jelly? Grape jelly Oh my fucking god Wow No fucking way Okay what else do we have in here We have more grape jelly

This is the beef revioli This is the activator Yeah We need water We need water And then we Do we have water? Yeah

Okay so then we put the water Here you read that You get the water Okay here I am gonna go I'm gonna let you make this And me here See okay you guys make that

I'm gonna make No you make the area And me and Cameron I'll read the list How about that? Yeah, you guys read the list. Yeah. I was going to say,

because this also comes with a white wheat snack bread TFF. Wow. Hold that up to the camera. And this is the best bread you can get. The breast is right there, the best bread. 350 milligrams of sodium in it. Right. And three grams of...

Okay, this is reduced sodium, too. So, I mean, if anyone wants to follow along at home, this is beef ravioli in meat and textured soy protein sauce. Oh, my God. So go on Hello Fresh. You can order this there, probably. The thing that ties the meal all together. One moist halet.

Yeah, so we're going to use that to clean up Pat later. So this prepper list, it seems there are literally hundreds of excellent prepper lists out there. And as part of our journey, we have started our own. We hope to use this as an inventory slash wish list to help us stay on track as well as hopefully helping others develop their own. So it says happy prepping. this says cash Okay, yeah, we get it You're fucking rich

Obviously, I don't have any cash Patrick doesn't have any cash He has a bucky buck Which is very helpful A buddy buck rather I don't know what that's going to get him On one of his apps You know, on laser, whatever

No, you shut up about your apps, okay It says We keep extra cash in each vehicle As well as some loose change $20 stash behind our cell phone covers $200 in the prepper closet The thing is if the world goes to shit what the hell what do you give oh at least i have

$20 in my in my car that's not going to do anything that's going to help a lot i mean speaking as someone who's had who has a lot of money in this situation you'd be surprised everyone every book every movie they say they say okay um money has no value anymore

but that's science fiction they made that up it's still a hundred dollars is still $100 and you can get incredible food with it i always thought about that with like fallout and shit is like why the fuck are we doing why is it that all of us sudden bottle caps are some fiat currency. It's like, just keep using money. Just keep using money. Money

has no value anymore, but now bottle caps too. Exactly. It's no sense, dude. So stupid. How's the MRE cooking coming? It feels a little hot already. I think you're supposed to do this. I'll show you. Why did you cut the whole thing open? You cut it open. No, you don't.

You're not supposed to cut that much of it. You're supposed to open it up and then fold it. You have to close this thing. What the hell just happened? A light just went out. Oh, great. Now the lights are fucking going out.

Okay, everything's getting ruined. Water, it says water. We have one water bottle. Yeah. And now all of a sudden we're going to have this fucking shit water because this guy... You're right. You are supposed to put... I know.

You fucking already ruined it. That's okay. Worst case, we have the grape jelly. Large treated water storage. Again, we have 50 gallons. Water filter, that's me, I guess. Drink mixes. We have a mountain dew.

This could be a really good drink mix. Grape jelly. This is actually maybe now that I'm thinking about it, maybe one of the most valuable things you could have in a post-apocalyptic society. You are right. And we have two of them. Finding a packet of grape jelly

in these times is kind of like finding like a misprinted nickel. Yeah, you're right. It's actually rare. You think that's worth nothing. You think that's worth five cents. It's actually worth $6. dollars um so coffee we don't have any cop well i just drank my last cup yeah we have we have this

at least powdered milk this is if we want to pretend we're drinking coffee this empty cup could be pretty oh yeah i guess we can just use those yeah uh it's kind of just like a nice like it's like decaf right it's like yeah it's like going through the motions you know sometimes you'll drink your body you'll drink decaf and you'll be like well i feel like i drink cup of coffee it's like when you when you're addicted to watching movies and you trick your body and the thinking you're watching a movie but it's looking at a blank tv screen for an hour and a half yeah exactly which is what we've doing yeah um and then for food okay so this is big so we have let's do a real i so we have we're about to have a beef ravioli two grape jellies two grape jellies two grape jellies

a piece of bread a beef ravioli mayonnaise and a mountain dew and in a pinch in a pinch rope yeah we can eat that like spaghetti and then if we look at their how does this stack up against theirs canned fruits okay grape jelly that counts that counts that counts that counts that counts And veggies. Grape. Grape jelly. Cair beans. That's beef.

Beans, beef. Soups and chili. Chili has beef. Beans. Bees and bread. Dry beans, we don't have those. Rice, we don't have those. Flour, we don't have those.

And fellas, just take a look at this awesome bag. Oh my God. I'm getting hungry already. Oh, my God. Hold that up to the GoPro. Get it really close. Take a look at that bread.

Oh, man. That shit is loud. I can smell that. Yeah, that is one of the best, that is one of the best smelling things. Pat, you're going to have to take a bite with the grape jelly, buddy. Yeah, and listen, before we get to that. This looks so edible. Take a bite of that.

Come on, put that on there. And you might, hey, Pat, you might want a little of this, too. Come on. That looks amazing. Take a look at this jelly. It's completely, it's completely, brown just like a grape and pat if that's too bland for you i have some seasoning for you right here that you can use some iodized salt which we can use this flower too he's putting more on

he's so hungry oh my starving i've eaten all right get your spoon you want some mayo on there too here put some mayo on the other half pat we'll save the mayo for later come on i'll cut this up and then how's that taste we need it we need an overhead shot. It tastes good, right? And, uh, you know, you don't get, you don't get many treats like this nowadays. This is a delicacy for sure. How's that?

And like, like any good bread, it's, um, completely too soft. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's always good. It's soft in all the wrong ways. Uh-huh. And it's also very chocolate. Okay. Well, that is good bread these days, because it is bread.

Let's see, we have pasta. Oh, this is steaming right now. Is it doing its thing? Yeah. We have peanut butter, jams, jellies, preserves. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean, and bread that we have. Yep.

Mac and cheese and other box meals. This is a box meal. Mac and cheese, hey, how about Mac and Devon go to high school? Peanut's my personal addiction. Okay, come on. Don't say everyone fucking needs it because you're personally addicted to it. Yeah, exactly. Some people don't even like peanuts.

Not even a word. He's just opening it. Okay, so basically the whole M.R.E is getting eaten by him. I have an amazing idea. Oh, my God. Hold that up. Tilt that down a little bit. Oh, God.

If that doesn't make you hungry, I'm not sure what will. All right, take a big bite. And McPacheyroll is completely rock hard. Be careful. I think all the dentists died. Oh, look at that hedge shot right on. This thing is so hot, bro. Oh, I got jelly on myself.

I can't eat this. Jesus. Because it's rock hard. You spit it out. You're wasting precious calories. That does look good, though. That does. That is one of the best meals I've had in a while.

That is delicious. It beats an acorn or a pine cone. Freezer. Some think the freezer is a bad idea, and granted, you know what we need to do? with that tootsie rolls freeze it. You have to keep the MRI propped up. See, I just took, I just, the jelly, I think I just accidentally sucked all the flavor out of it

because it just tasted completely just like a, it was probably really flavorful, and then you sucked all the flavor out of it. I think it sucked all the flavor out because it was more, it wasn't even, it didn't even taste like food, it just tasted like a texture. So let's go down to cleaning supplies.

We didn't bring any cleaning supplies. This jelly will be here forever. This is, this is a cleaning. apply right here. Blach, lots and lots of bleach, bar soap, soft soap, dish soap, ammonia, window cleaner, Mr. Clean, or similar, laundry soap. And then... His haircut got me looking like Mr. Clean. Yeah, nice fucking try. No, come on. No, you have a haircut. I have no hair, so I'm the Mr. Clean. And also, you don't really look like Mr. Clean. Yeah. You have to stop opening this stuff without, you have to open this on camera. It's, we're doing an apocalypse mook-bong here.

You have to, you can't just open it without saying anything. Get a close-up on this. Get a close-up on him dabbing. He's dabbing. Okay, thank you. I forgot about that. Yeah. No, I don't think I've seen a dab in years. We don't have any medical or first date equipment. I think we're probably going to start using... Oh, Roe! I mean, this is multi-purpose.

And Patrick has a bunch of extra skin on his back. We could kind of maybe take that off and use that. And tie it onto one of us with Roe. Exactly, yeah. He's also, luckily, he's over negative. Oh, this is a medical tool, too. Oh, yeah, we can use as a scalpel. Yeah.

This MRE is steaming. Well, let's eat it then. Come on. I'm hungry. You have to wait, but I don't know how long. It doesn't have instructions on it? It does, but I think you have to take it out of the... Okay, so why are you scared of it?

Because it's hot. Really not. It's hot at the bottom. I'll give you that much. Let's see. It says... I think you just didn't even read the instructions. He just broke it.

I know what I'm doing. Yeah. I'm in the army. Yeah, that's obvious. 10 to 15 minutes, depending on air temperature. You're all supposed to shake it, which you didn't do. So it's only hot at the bottom. And it smells fucking awful.

Patrick can eat this. All right, yeah, I'm not, I don't want anything to do with this anymore. You've wasted one of our two food items. Well, he spit out the other one. He wasted another one, too. This is, this is your dinner tomorrow now. There's still some bread for you. Okay.

Hold up. Wait, wait, wait. Okay. And there's some for you, too. See, he's going to enjoy this on, like, some people. I know I'm gluten, I have a gluten intolerance that I developed. There's, and lucky for you, there is no gluten in this at all. No, it's full of gluten.

I don't think you're making hard deck. Oh, look at that. Look, it's practically a saltine. It's practically a pizza. Basically a personal pizza that you're eating. I'm going to eat it. Oh, that's good. Is it good?

Yeah, it tastes like the last pretzel. Oh, man, you guys have to try this stuff. This is good. Yeah. I had salt. Yeah. I don't know what they put in this. I have to eat it.

Just take a bite. Is it good? Just put some, here, here. Here, here. Yeah, wait, wait, put the throes on there. Oh, it's not. Okay, we can use it. No, here, here, here, open it up with this.

Oh, no, no, no, I'm full. I'm full My My stomach is shrank to the size My stomach is shrank to the size of a pine cone Oh my god The aftertaste is good too I love the way

The aftertaste is one of the best parts This is actually perfect because it's the kind of food That stays in your mouth for a long time So you keep getting the taste And that's great because we're in the apocalypse We don't have that much food And look at how cute that is. Yeah, hold that out.

Oh, my God. That little mayo drop is. Put that open wide. Come on. Wait, wait. Ew. And that mayo's been room temperature for a long time. Oh my God.

You're being a baby. Honestly, the mayo makes it taste like dog food. That is so good. I wish I had some dog food right now. Oh, man. Wow. And the best part is I have no water or coffee to...

Wait, here, here. At least I have some mountain, dude. That is good. That hits the spot. I don't know who drank the first half of this. That's how I found it. But that is really, really good. Yeah.

Wow. This is one of the best days We've had in a long time I know it's just a feast Oh my god I guys I don't think we should keep the M oh wait The M oh wow

It's leaking It's leaking and it's too hot to touch All right that's good We'll just leave that air Explodes and destroys the entire bunker Yeah that'll be good Oh it should it It has to be propped up like this

The whole time uh-oh okay okay all right luckily this place is very durable yeah you know what i mean if there's one thing about this set is that um set this it's durable yeah it's solid as a rock your hand smells like a burning plastic yeah yeah yeah you need to go you got something bad on you yeah because you did this so wrong that's fine that you're gonna now okay yeah touch your eye yeah touch your eye with your hand no you don't you don't No, it was the same one. That's a different hand.

You touched your hands together. I'll say it, guys. I don't like mayonnaise that much anymore. I used to really, really enjoy mayonnaise. But I guess something about... You know, this, looking at this right now... Have a titty roll. Pat, hold this up to the camera real quick.

Looking at this right now is really making me hungry for Patrick's butt, and I don't know why. It could be because all the toilet paper reserves in the world went up in flames. I forgot about the toilet paper fire. And the toilet paper reserves, they had tons of toilet paper like Fort Knox, the giant reserve, the U.S.R.A. Ever since freaking COVID, remember the toilet paper stockpiling? That's been the worst part of this whole thing. The damn shelves at the fucking grocery store, right? And the worst part is, COVID got even worse.

Yeah, I have it. Yeah, me too. We all have it. Yeah, yeah. All right, is that kind of, I mean, I feel like that's in for today, right? I mean, hey, I just want to say, I'm excited you guys to go into the rest of the future. with you guys, just goofing off and having fun. I think we can maybe do this for a thousand years.

Okay, all right. I'm down. I mean, as long as I keep eating like that, right? Yeah, we'll bring in some more food. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll figure out how to get some. Basically, I mean, we're going to unlimited your billions of dollars. We basically have unlimited resources to do whatever we want down here. Patrick, you could wrap this up, you could box that up.

Yeah, you bring this home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we don't really have it. Yeah, your hovel outside. Yeah. My hovel, it's called a hovel because it's what they pay, now that I work for Getter. Uh-huh.

It's a three, it's a box that hovers above the ground. Oh, shit. And, uh, by the way, we need to invest in a pasty, I think, to cover my leather. Yeah, that might be nice. Well, I'll get you guys some reconstructed clothes. Yeah, he's going to treat you guys.

I'm going to treat you guys. And can we have some money? I don't think that that's going to work out for whatever reason. Okay, that's fine. Whatever reason there is, I don't think it's going to happen. Well, thank you guys for, um. Thank you for listening. Thank you.

I mean, I don't know who's going to listen to this. Probably somebody on some other planet. I hope if you're listening, I hope if you're listening, you do end up watching on YouTube. Go to the YouTube channel, podcast about list. Uh-huh. And I hope that you go to the Patreon, too, because it's the only way we can, it's the only way Cameron can get richer. That's right. And I hope.

And I hope you, actually, nope, our show. We'd like to expand this. aquarium also yeah there's a lot of stuff we want to do and we we need your help we'd like to get maybe a we'd like to get a new skin for jubio you know maybe we make them yeah not look like that anymore yeah um so just uh keep us in your thoughts and your prayers it's gonna be like this forever bye bye bang bang bang