Podcast About List - Ep. 220 - XXXMAS

Episode Date: December 7, 2022

The boys are officially in the Christmas spirit so to celebrate the holidays they started talking and doing a load of nasty naughty stuff. Gross. Watch the video for this episode youtube.com/@PodcastAboutList Buy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and D&D episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

All right, you chipmunks. Ready to sing your song? I'll say we are. Yeah, let's sing it now. Okay, Simon? Okay. Okay, Theodore? Okay.

Okay, Alvin? Alvin. Alvin! Okay! Christmas, Christmas time is near. Time for toys and time for cheer. We've been good, but we can't last. Hurry Christmas, hurry fast.

Want a plane that looop the loo. Me, I want a hoolahoo. We can hardly stand the way. Please Christmas don't be late. Okay, fellas, get ready. That was very good, Simon. Very good, Theodore. You were a little flat, watch it. Er Alvin.

Alvin. Alvin. Oh, okay. Want a plane that loops the loop. I still want a hoo-la-hoo. We can hardly stand the wait. Please Christmas don't be late. We can hardly stand the way.

End the way, please Christmas don't be late. Very good. Wait, by, wait. No, that's enough. Let's not overdo it. Yes. Good morning. That is pretty.

I'll tell us about this. Good morning. Morninging my two good friends. Wait, do we start now? Did we start the show? I don't know. Why wouldn't we start? All right.

Okay. And the first thing we're saying is, good morning, not, yo, yo, Caleb, nice outfit. You look almost exactly like a fucking, this is what you look like every day to me. You look almost exactly like a very famous celebrity. Nobody said that. You look exactly the same as you do every day. You know, what's different. Won't you tag me to Christmas town?

Oh, I remember he said he had a new Christian Dior jacket. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. He's not even wearing the... You like it? No, look at it. Oh, this is... Hold, let me check the tag. It's fucking fancy. Oh, that's a replica.

It's Christian? No, it's real. That's real? It's Deior. I'm on my Christian Dior Santa Flo. And the beard is, too. Yeah? Beard is real as can be. It's Christian, no, it's also Christian Dior.

Oh, my God. Wait, he is wearing a beard. That was weird. Do it again. Do it again. Hi! Oh, my God. I missed my ear on the uptake on that. I thought that was your new thing.

Rubbing alcohol. I do think that I'll probably be. dressed pretty much exactly like this for most of December and honestly I'll probably be taking homeless people's cups and stuff taking their cups yeah I know they have those cups and they go they're playing a song with it

they can't afford a Morocco or Morocco so they're using that we could make a Morocco easy well they did okay how can you learn you could make a harmonica out of tissue paper the thing is what I don't understand about these homeless people with their damn cups full of money it's like don't you want to put a lid on that if you flip

over your money's going everywhere Yep. Tell you what they should put a lid on. And there's a guy going around. And I'm flipping them. Yeah, I'm flipping them up. And I'm like, if you had had a lid on this, your money would be in your cup. But now it's all over the ground.

And I'm sucking it up like an anteater. I think they should just get a piggy bank of themselves. They get. With all the money they make, they should buy a ceramic piggy bank. A piggy bank would actually be a good idea of their face. A piggy bank? I saw a homeless guy counting money. Rich, counting the stack.

They are rich. He straight up had a band. as they say. Did he have a rack on him? Yeah. Oh, speaking of, this, I saw a homeless lady with a rack on her. When I was walking to the office this morning, speaking of our, speaking of a homeless woman's rack, I saw a guy's penis on the way

to the office this morning. That's the downstairs rack. Yeah. That's the coat rack. He was on the, I was walking down the block. He was on the other end of the block going coming towards me, and he stopped, and he pulled his pants down and took his penis out, and he peed one. squirt of pee onto the ground and then pulled his pants

back up. That was he a big? Was he a heavyset guy? No, I don't think so. That was nut. No, you don't squirt a little bit of pee. No, I guarantee it was pee. No, that was unhealthy nut. It was watery because he does it so often. He didn't touch his shit. A couple weeks ago. A couple weeks ago, I was wondering if it was a heavyset guy because a couple weeks ago, I was up early one morning and I was going to get like breakfast

and I saw just like a big, big heavyset homeless man just walking. You can say it. This guy also. homeless animal. Why do you say heavy set? A million times? Also, this guy, I don't think he was homelessing. It was just a guy. Yeah? Okay. Well, I saw a guy scrubbing and rubbing his balls and asshole in the middle of the... That's completely different than peeing. On Myrtle Avenue in front of the bank. That's disrespectful. What this guy

doesn't sexual. I want to get that. He squirted pee because he wanted to show how how strong his pelvic floor muscles or whatever muscles control you're peeing. Prostate? Is that your prostate? It also controls the jizz. Not an expert of jizz or piss. Okay. If anything I'm an expert.

I taught you, dude, this whole story was made up to prove that you knew what muscles you knew what part. We took the, we knew Caleb hates homeless people, but he loves prostates. I actually fuck with the homeless heavily, and I used to feed them. I do. I do. I do. I do like their community. They do have a great-ass community.

They make good poetry, too. Yeah. Yeah. They're too addicted to drugs for my taste. A lot of them are funny. They say shit. They say, shit like, need money for weed on their side. I saw, on their side.

They get a tattooed on their side. I saw a guy in Vegas. I went to Las Vegas, which you can probably tell, based on my kind of aura that I'm bringing in. But I went to Las Vegas, and there was a homeless guy that had the funniest fucking sign I've ever seen, man. It said, need money for strippers and alcohol. What?

And I said, wait, pretty cool. What the hell's wrong with you, you fucking idiot? And he said, no, it's just a funny sign. I'm going to use this on food and drugs. And I said, okay, well, that's fine. And I gave him a dollar. Or, like, villains stole my family. Sometimes I'll assigns.

They stole my family. They have that sometimes. I've never seen that one. You see that everywhere. Villains stole my family. I've never seen that. Villains. Yeah.

Villain attacked my home planet. My own planet was destroyed by villains. Stuff like, yeah, the abductor. Yeah. The abductor, abductor. I hate the abductor is my villain. Yeah. Dude, the abductor sucks so bad.

My nemesis did this to me. And the nemesis. Attacked my nemesis in the dark. The nemesis goes around. The nemesis has been gone around. Reincarnated as this. Reincarnated as homeless. And then an arrow and he has flies buzzing around on like pig pen.

Punished by God but keeping my faith. God is testing me. God is testing my faith. Do not help me. I do not. Do not help me. I'm trying to grind harder. Spit on me.

Make it worse somehow. Make my life miserable. Make my life more worse. More worser. Yeah. Need to go school. Need go school. Need money for go school.

Don't let me go school. Need be stupid for God. I think it would be pretty fun to be homeless in certain cities. But yeah. I think Vegas is a fun one because if you can, I saw quite a few homeless people. I don't think it's fun to be houseless. anywhere. I wish I could electrocute you.

I would love to be homeless in Las Vegas because you're, if you go, because it has everything, you know? You walk around the Venetian. You could go swim, you can bathe in the canals of Venice. Wow. Right? You want to go see the Statue of Liberty. The pyramids.

If you want to go, yeah, if you want to go pass out on the pyramid, you want to pass out in New York City. You want to pass out in the Mandalay Bay. You want to see the Eiffel Tower. It's a plane trip away. Exactly. You want to pass out in the middle.

Here's an airport. And if you want to kill yourself, instead of jumping off a bridge, there's no big bridges, you go to a shin limb magic show, you have them make you disappear. And you get sent to wherever the cards go. Damn, that's true. Do you see any magic shows out there? No, but I showed my magic on the dance floor. You did. Congratulations.

Great work. Yep. I actually saw a video went viral. Yeah. I had a viral video, go viral. Can we pull that up? Yeah, pull that up. In the meantime, though, I have, here's what I think about homeless people.

Okay. Here's what I have to say. I think that a homeless person, if you think about it, the world is their home. And all of outside is their home. And they have the biggest home of all. So we should be taking that from them. They are to be locking them up in jail. Yeah.

Yeah, so they have this little. Redistribute the wealth. Did you see what Eric Adams wants to do? No. He's making a big fun summer camp. Jesus Christ. Yep, here I am. He's making a big fun summer camp.

Oh, my God. That was me. Damn, Caleb. That was you and your brother? Uh-huh. Me and my brother's. My two brothers. We basically coordinated this whole thing.

No, actually, it was completely improvised. Wow. Yeah, we just have a brotherly connection. What's that pole you guys are holding? That's my brother's walking stick. Oh, okay. Yeah. And also, we got paid.

Yeah, and also we had a, yeah. Your brothers are really skinny. Yeah, they're really. Damn. Yeah, well, that's me on the left side. I hope you guys are the salt base. My brother's in the middle and my other brother's on the very back. Who's your left?

I got like a little broken that day, so it looks like... We had to break up with your leg. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm the smallest of my three brothers. And also I had my head blanked out. Yeah, I just didn't want everybody. Whoa, you were getting a little closer up on the camera. Oh, my God.

Oh, yeah, I'm a pretty much an attention horror kind of dog. You know, we actually killed that guy with the camera. Yeah. That's incredible. That was really, that hurt really bad when I did that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God.

You didn't need two walking sticks out of that. Oh, thank God. I just seen. There's two walking sticks, actually. Oh, my God. It looks like there's five or six. Yeah, we basically had to bolt us all together because of our familial bond. And, yeah, my foot is really small.

I have two very small feet. Wow. That's great. I mean, congratulations on that. My viral love. Thank you guys all for the viral love. You know, I always appreciate it every time. Yeah, I do want to, I mean, speaking of Las Vegas and Santa, I do want to check in, you know,

last episode we checked in on. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Santa was in Las Vegas. That's very weird. What a funny coincidence. So we actually have our proprietary Palfud Santa Tracker. Yeah.

Fud Tech 3,000. Yeah, Suntec 3,000. Think about this. What? Santa goes to let's shut up. Santa goes to. Whoa. Do you play with your...

I don't have anything. I'll play with us. All right. Santa goes... Don't open it, though, because it's worth a lot of money sealed. That's collectible. Santa goes to Las Vegas. Okay.

Yeah. Oh, thank you. Caleb goes in Las Vegas. Yeah, the next week, or the same, I don't remember. The same day. The same day. He's in Las Vegas. I think he's a copycat.

Do you think maybe he's working with Santa? Because we don't know the identity of Santa. That's true, we don't. Maybe we'll find out someday, but. Fuck, dude. Okay, Cameron. What the hell is going on here? He can stop playing now.

Whatever, man. You're fucking the dead body of Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Your Santa's shirt is really on point, too. That's definitely a... Kind of a hip-hop Santa. Yeah. Oh, that explains the dance. But let's check where Santa is today.

Let's check the tracker here. Okay, well, he's on Earth. We know that. Oh, East Coast. Okay. East Coast and Beast Coast. Now, where's that? What's this?

Okay, that's Rikers Island. Oh, crap. He's in Rikers Island? Do you think... Wait, wait, this doesn't make any sense, because prisoners get coal every year. So it's not delivering no fucking presents. And, you know, for a second, I was like, okay, Santa's in Las Vegas last week.

Caleb comes back dressed up like Santa, and then it says he's in New York. But no, I mean, Santa's, oh, my God. Whoa. It's been booked. Holy shit. And he's 70. And that doesn't even look like, okay, so Caleb is not Santa. I will rule that out.

Were you thinking I was Santa for a little bit? Yeah. Poked my lips out like this. Is this look all right? Is that good? Can you put your eye through the beard and see what that might look like? this actually I like Cyclops Santa a lot

That's a little scary is what that is You look like You look like the movie Wizards You look like a wizard The main wizard You look like you look like freaking Jason Vorees From Friday the 13th part two All right man

Well That's the movie had movie heads out there You made it all nerdy For my nerd heads Whoa Jesus Christ That's the cell they're keeping him in Riker's Island

I didn't realize It was so high tech It looks fucking incredible I didn't really The warden's name all over Donald Ian Smith It's holographic. Donnellian Smith, let Santa go, you fucking bass.

You let him out. How dare you? A piece of crap warden? This guy's a scrooge. Well, we'll see if we can handle that tomorrow or in the next few days, and maybe Santa will be free from Rikers Island. Did you meet him in Las Vegas? Santa Claus? Yeah.

Oh, hell no. Okay, well. Okay. I guess it was just him and his brother. I still don't know who Santa is. Someone told me that Santa isn't real. Yeah, I don't know what you're doing. Someone told me it's my mom and my dad, but I've never seen them in the suit.

No, Santa, listen, pal, we have a whole month of December in front of us, and we are going to investigate. By Christmas Eve, we will know the true identity of Santa, and that's a promise. Okay. That's a Cameron promise. Maybe we'll be slicing them open, too. Okay, are we making that in all three promise? Making that a triple promise. Now, that fucking hurts me.

We will know the true identity of Santa. Well, thank God. Yeah, or thanks Santa. Jesus, God's son. I was in Las Vegas, and it was. It was very fun. I was there for a pool tournament. Wait, here's another picture of Caleb with his friends in Las Vegas.

Yeah, we had a really good time in Las Vegas. I like your black dress, Caleb. Yeah. That's not me. I think you know it. So that's you on the left, and then those, and then who are you with here? I'm with Derek and Judd. Derek and Judd?

Yeah. Who's that lady? Who's that fox in the middle? That's like their, I don't know, their shared wife or some shit. Oh, okay. But basically we just all went out. I would love to watch them. We basically went out into the strip clubs and tried to fuck a hoe.

Whoa. Yeah, we all tried to double team and quadruple team some hoe. Quadruple. Yeah, but she said she'd only do triple team and couldn't do a quadruple team. Not even team. It's incredible. No, even teams. Odd teams only.

So I had to get, I had to not even be a part of the teams. Really? But them three, they triple team some fucking ho named Rebecca. I do, I do realize I have noticed hos nowadays. They're like, I only want an odd number team. I'll have a one team or a triple team. Yeah. A single team.

I'll single team. You can single team me. Yeah. But you can't double team. I love going home, single team and my wife. God, dude. Yeah, man. Most notice, they just want a single team or triple team or quintuple team.

Yeah, I ran a train. I want a quadruple team because me and my three brothers are here. Yeah. I ran a train. My and my five cousins are here. I want to do a six team. I seriously want a triple team. I want six of us to go team you.

I ran a train, yeah, Hyperloop. Yep. Yeah, just me. Just me in one car. You ran a diaper poop. I'm like, I want to run a train with two cars. Like, no, one car, three. Well, five, seven, or nine.

Or any number that ends in those numbers. I want to be a human centipede. Some girls nowadays are so nerdy and slutty. They're only doing prime teams. That's true. They want a one team or a nine or a nine or seven. No, nine is not prime. I don't remember what the prime numbers are.

That was you went immediately for nine. I thought nine was prime. It rhymes. Nine is prime because it rhymes. Two is not prime. Two is the special one? Nope, nine is not prime. Two is the weird one or something?

I don't know, man. Shut the hell up. I don't know. Well, that's what I'm saying. These hoes are making me do math. What is your prime number? And it's like, I don't know. Yeah, they're trying to make me do math.

Your age plus my age, minus seven or whatever. Man, what the hell is that? Just let me beat. Dude, I had this crazy night the other night. I had this crazy night. I had 1.5 teamed this girl with a gnome. A gnome. Yeah.

Yeah, gnome chomsky. He is half a man because it was a, yeah. He probably doesn't work that well. He's coming dust. And then I have 5,000 teamed her. Yeah. With an army. With an army of gnomes.

You fucked a one girl with an army? Yeah, there were 5,000 of us. Baby, how about this? How about you, me, and the entire army to go back to my place? And we all fuck you. You mind if I bring the army? Do you have a friend for my army? You know, hey, speaking of Christmas,

just to stay on this kind of, you know, sexual tip here. Mary, she got zero-teamed. Damn. She got zero-teams to make Jesus. She did get zero-team. And when it comes to Jesus, there are zero-teams. We're all together.

Damn. You were actually on a fucking fire today. Zero-teamed, zero-teamer. And her name was Mary, right? Yeah. And she got married. She was unmarried. Mary-unmarried.

Mary-unmarried. It's quite contrary. CBS, you got to jump on that. CBS, Mary Unmarried. That sounds like a perfect show for your comedy lineup. That is, it does sound like Mary Unmarried sounds really good. They need to do a gritty reboot. Single and ready for Chris Kringle.

Oh, Jesus' birthday. Hallmark, check that. Let's pitch some Hallmark movies right now, right? I used to love watching Hallmark movies. Hallmark movies. What about Mark in the Hall? Mark in the Hall. He could be a Hall monitor.

Dick the Hall. Dick the Halls. Monitor. Dick the Thug. Dick the Halls with. They don't do enough Hallmark movies about a sad gangsta who learns of me Christmas. That's true. I saw one

but he wasn't even a gangster really. I have it dude. Okay. Dick the halls with Bob and Marley. Damn. Weed, weed, weed, weed, weed, weed, weed, weed, weed. Why would you, why is Bob Marley involved? Puff, puff, puff, puff, puff. He wasn't even in... His two guys, two characters named Bob and Marley. Your brain just made a connection because you're a stoner.

Yeah. I'm a stoner because I thought I heard Bob and Marley. Yeah. It's just two guys named Bob and Marley. What's wrong me? You probably I would see two guys walking down the stream be like, whoa, this makes me want to smoke weed because I'm imagining this is Bob Marley. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Meanwhile, you're just in Bushwick.

I need to get my head out of the ashtray. Yeah, smoke the bomb with Cheech and Chong. Their names could be Cheech and Chong. They're could be their full name. It's Bob Chong and Cheech Marley are the characters in my movie. I should not that far off. And it's not, and my movie is not a stoner movie. It's rated G.

Yeah. And it doesn't have any culture, any, no. G for general audiences. And it's about, it's a Winnie the Poo knockoff. Yeah, the general. Yeah, from the car insurance. You guys are generally crazy. You're generally...

You guys are crazy in general. Look at your windscreen. That shit looks like a muffin. You have an insane energy today, Cameron. You're like Johnny Carson. Flip it on its side. Flip it on its side. It looks exactly like a pot pie.

You're like just attacking... Think something's wrong with my body. You're like attacking the hoop in a real way. You're like kind of destroying. You're going to ruin it. No, no, I kind of can't even look at you right now because it's so funny to me. Want to hear a joke I wrote about a concert I was at?

Yeah. So I was at the Dinosaur Jr. concert the other night with my girlfriend. Okay. So she goes to the bathroom, right? Ew. Meanwhile, bathroom line for the women's bathroom at that show, probably zero long. Oh. Meanwhile.

Meanwhile, back to me. But my mic and your pop over the windscreen. I'm like, she's probably, I'm like, oh, she's lost. forever she's gone she's never because imagine trying to recognize my ass from behind at a dinosaur junior concert damn true wait show the back of your head who's that is that cameron or is that hell is that j masquez himself in the crowd yeah that's him yeah yeah that's probably what girls are probably what girls are saying or they think you're lou barlow too someone's name yeah he wears an eyeball hat uh-huh it's a mishka hat he's still on he still he still wears that

He only wears one Mishka hat? Yeah, he loves that Mishka hat. Eyeball hat. He talks like this, too. When I was in Las Vegas, I went to go see the Masconi Cup, the pool championship, and there's this guy. It was awesome. It was so much fun. It was Europe versus the USA, so it's all, and it took place in the USA, and the USA people are just going crazy, and I'm part of that, too, so I'm going crazy.

And there's this one guy who, there's one pool player named Billy Thorpe. Yeah, there's one pool player named Billie Thorpe. Billy Thorpe, and he used to be on the Moscone Cup, but then he got kicked off because he had a match against, like, a Spanish guy, and he, like, missed a ball or something. He was, like, he started screaming out of him. He was like, you Mexican piece of shit! Oh, my God. So he was there.

He's banned from playing. Yeah. But he came, and he got, like, 15 different seats around the arena, so he could just run around. He wore no shirt, American flag overalls, and he's, like, throwing $100 bills into the fucking standing. Damn. Dude, he was a man. That's sick.

It was a fucking, it was crazy. I can only look at your mouth. It's framed. It's, there's a white circle. I can't look above the. You look like that video. It's called like, like, you look like, a big lips jacking up on Craigslist. Why have you seen this video?

I haven't seen that one. Do you guys think I, is this, are I doing a plump lip challenge? That's what you look like right now. You look like, you guys learning right now on a big lips. Glory, glory, glory, hallelujah, merry Christmas. Yeah. Yep. Wait, why have we got the German flag today?

What? This looks like German flag? Yeah. The black, yellow, and red. Yeah, you're right. And I have red and white on. Oh, and I'm yellow. You're Polish, dude.

That's just a fax. You're Wiz Khalifa. You are the Wiz Khalifa of our entire crew. Is that the Belgium flag? Yeah, it is. Because you're tall, which is very whiz-ish. Yeah, he's like six-five. I'm a whiz kid.

You're a whiz kid. I've seen you take a whiz. You never saw me take a whiz. I've seen you take a whiz. When? You don't fucking know my life. When? I've snuck in on you taking a whiz.

There's a GoPro in the bathroom. No. We were at this place from Chuck Berry. Because I'm a pro at going. I look around 360 degrees. I make sure there's no cameras. My dick is out. Nobody is seeing my shit, dude.

We should switch. You have the worst mic. You should have the better one today because you're on supply. I have that app that people Why do we have a bad mic today, Caleb? Just forgot mine at home. It doesn't matter. I have that app that people use

that people are always like, I noticed this air freshener at my Airbnb. It's actually a camera. And people are always like, there's this app that scans for cameras on your Wi-Fi. I use that in bathrooms. And I don't use the bathroom unless there's at least three cameras. That's right.

I go in there, they're getting a show. Yeah. I pee upside down. What is that whole thing? My pee-ups and down like a bath. Do you know when there's a bathroom and it's a single bathroom, but they have a bunch in a row? Yeah. And it's like their stalls, but they're like full rooms.

Well, that's what I was saying. Wouldn't it be great to be able to have one spot where you can put your hand on the wall and you know the person on the other side is putting their hand on the same place on the other side of the wall? Oh my God. And you can feel their energy through the wall? That's like a glory hole for like kids. For, no. You want to make that?

That's a glory hole for kids. No, no. It's like a kid friend. friendly glory hole is what I mean like you could do that why do you want a kid friendly I don't want that I'm just saying it's like a PG version well why would you want to be touching hands with a kid I'm not saying I'm not saying that even a kid could do that I'm not saying that even a child I'm just saying like anybody could do that he's just digging himself deeper deeper with you no with whoever man I'm taking this with a man with a man or a woman

With any man. It's not gay if you hold hands with another man while peed. It's not holding hands, though. It's like a, it's like rakey. It's like chakra. It's not, it's not gay to transfer energy to another man while peeing. If I, like, if you put your hand on the other side of this, we can feel each other. But people get, this is maybe a little too thick and maybe there's too much Ruth.

Yeah. There wouldn't be Ruth in my bathroom situation. I don't think, I mean, like, it doesn't, it's not about. Like, if I put my hand under the table right here, you can feel, you can feel me. That's my cock and balls. Yeah. Yeah, and you can feel me through the page. He's fully just touching them.

You're just used, you just can be touched as much as you want. You're usable. We'll just use you all we want. You're a consumable to me. Yeah. You're basically just an object to us. You're a potion or elixir. No doubt.

I would love to spray you on stuff. Do you want to spray me like a health potion? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. If I could just, yeah, I could just go like this and I could go like that and you'd spray something out. I do think that this is a good idea, though, like, any kind of non-sexual, like, way to communicate. Non-sexual way to communicate in the bathroom.

In the bathroom with the people who are next to you. That's a great idea. A can and a string. I'm not bisexual. They hate the matter. Early, did you have your crap? Yeah, buddy, it's called your phone. My childhood house, they had this thing on the doorbell.

He wants a child house where he can put this glory hole in. He does, though. He does. Who's he? Me? I take that fist bump back. I don't want that. You fist bumped.

Oh, my God, a hole that's fish shape so you can't put your penis through it. So you can only fist bump when you take a crap or piss. You could put your penis through there. How big is your fist? It's fissed whole shapes. No, it's about the shape. It's not about the size. It's a square versus circle.

The physicists will make it work. You have a social penis? Closer to circular then. Okay, I see what you mean. So it's like, it has to meet. There's a switch, right? Or could have glass shards pointing so you can't. It should just scan your penis to see if it's a penis or a lips.

There's a, above the doorbell, there's a hole. And there's a tube that goes all the way up to the second floor. and you can talk into it and the person upstairs puts their ear to it and you go like hey it's me so something like that

in the bathroom but if it's a row of stall these room stalls and there's a row of holes on the wall and you can talk to any they're all labeled with numbers

so it's like I know my friend went into five I'd be like hey how's it going yeah but holes is like tin cans

people could cut the string and steal the can that's a good point that'd be a big And homeless people would be putting, yeah, putting money in those things. I never understood this about glory holes. When you go into a glory hole, like the whole thing is like, oh, yeah, I went to a glory hole, but I thought it was a woman sucking my penis and it was a guy, it turns out, right?

Yeah. Aren't you in the guy's bathroom? You're in the men's bathroom. What the hell are you doing? Go into the woman's bathroom and start taking shits if you really want to get your dick sucked by a girl so bad. You know what you're doing going into the men's bathroom. Speaking of this kind of style. Well, so here we go, maybe now, okay, a new bathroom idea, maybe.

It's maybe it's girl stalls on one side And boy stalls on the other And the communication holes Are through the walls But so it's like There's one A and one B And it's like 1A through 10A

And one B2 through 10B All A is boy All B is girl He's as red as his suit right now I think we should hear him out We should hear him out When you left into a glory hole It just takes a shit in your mouth

Just like There's some of the shit In your mouth You probably wouldn't be able to tell for the first few seconds. I know, that's the funny thing. It goes in and you're going, okay. Oh, yeah. There's definitely, there's definitely some kind of fucking,

some kind of fetish shit that somebody's like, oh, I wouldn't eat poop out of a glory hole. What would you do if you were, if you were, you were into a glory, you were into a bathroom as a glory hole and someone on the other side? Do you not pull up guy eating poop. Yeah, don't do that. It's not on big at least. Do not pull up guy eating.

Especially if it's like a really hot girl. Which side? Which end? The lips or the... Like a really hot girl puts her lips in the thing. And then a gold guy shits in her... A gold guy? A golden guy?

A golden guy? A golden guy? A golden guy. Oscar? I don't know. I don't know what color he is. But he shits in her big lips. And she's blonde. You know there's like a fetish or people like like they want to paint this up.

This is the guy So somebody like this But he doesn't He doesn't poop gold That's a common misconception He poops, he poops green Brown and brown shit Very very green

Speaking of Speaking of Caleb's thing We have a list today Oh do we? We do have a list It's a list I found It's just a it's a It's a crow

Here hit me the I'm way too jolly to Well, this is from Bad Girls Bible. I smoked weed five days ago, and my head is... For real? This is from Bad Girls Bible. It's the complete list of 239. Yes, sir.

Are you acting better? Uh-huh. Is it a complete 239 sexual fetishes and kinks list. Are we doing all 239 today? We're not doing all 239. I think we'll just go through the best of here. I'm going to come up with one right now. Can I have a prediction?

Yes. If this is a new one and no one's done it yet, I get a reward. Okay. Finger play. If finger play's not on here, I get a reward. Does it look like I have a really small head? No. Damn it.

No, it doesn't. Sorry, man. Sorry, yeah. That's a bummer. I'm ready. I'm having way too much fun. Do you go click on the other screen. who it doesn't get fucked up.

So this is the list. It's like, oh, there's also a discreet newsletter. But we talked previously about the definition of kinky and what makes a fetish. Now it's time to list all of those in one place. It's unlikely that you've heard every fetish on this list. On this list of kinks will be willing, we'd be willing you have or have at least thought about a few of them. Some of them were fairly common after all. All right.

So maybe what we should do, we should just go through these and say whether or not we have this. That's what I was thinking. Yeah. Okay. So this first one is a basophilia, which is the attraction to people in neck braces, wheelchairs, cast, or other devices that impair mobility that was documented for the first time occurring in a woman in the late 80s. It may be a part of a medical fetish enjoyed because it restricts movement. So I know that we've done this exact joke about other fetishes before,

but imagine being born in the year 100 and being really attracting people in wheelchairs. Yeah, that's tough. Well, that's what... Well, it's a chicken or the egg thing because I feel like you have... Well, it came from Flintstone cars. Oh. That's the first wheelchair.

But that's probably what has driven most invention in the world. Yeah. It's probably Thomas Edison was addicted to electricity and, like, electrocuting women. Yeah. And he was like, I'm going to put that in a bulb. Yeah, I want a bulb of that. I want a bulb that lets me see me do this. Yes.

What if I could take the byproduct of my fetish and make the room brighter with it? Good idea. Or play music. He just said, I want to see. I just want a bulb of that. I just want a bulb. Bulb it.

Bulb that. Shut up. Bulb it up. Just put that in a bulb. What's a bulb? I don't know yet. I think I will be finding out. Bulb it.

You know, a bulb. Yeah, because they had bulbs before light bulbs. They had onions. Well, bulbs are plants before that's true. They had onions before light bulbs. They definitely. They know what they say. The onion is the mother of invention.

Yeah. And this next one here. Oh, this is a quick quiz. I mean, no. Click on that, click on that photo. I think it'll bring us to a list. uh yeah or it brings us to this quiz here and i figured oh great has a guy ever complimented you too on your low job skills for me yeah um i would say rarely right rarely i'm not so good yeah okay

can you deep throat without gagging let's see i actually i know the the trick is you have to hold your thumb okay well do we have an uh we have a prop no you you can say you go fast like that you're kind of an you're kind of an you're kind of an in and out sucker Yeah. Oh, man. Is that what girls do to girls' penises? Is that what they do? Is they touch their back thing?

I didn't even think about that. That's horrible. Uh-huh. How do they not vomit? I don't know. It beats me, man. Try it. Women are magic.

How do you do that so well? Oh, my finger is a thing. I can do it with my tooth, That tasted like pepperoni. I can do it in my toothbrush really well. I didn't even eat any peop. I could do my pinky. I did not eat pepperoni today.

So if your penis looks like, is this dimensions, I could deep throat you. He could deep throat a hand. He's losing it. Well, you would do your fingers like this? Hey, you know what? I guess, no, I gag every time. This one goes out to girls. This episode.

Dedicated to every girl in the world. Every girl. That is fucking impressive. Do you regularly make eye contact when giving him oral sex? Sometimes, but I make it really awkward. I'm too shy. I make it awkward as hell. If I was a girl, I'm thinking about this.

I just, I look at, do you use both of your hands? I look straight down the barrel the entire time. Doesn't it make, you use both your hands, the guys to have a fucking monstrously huge cock? No, or you can just be on the tip and your hands can be like on either side like this. T-Ricks. True. All right. If you overlap it like a golf club.

Do you swallow? No. Sometimes, but I hate it. Never. I never swallow. Wait, why is always not an option? Have you ever struggled to make a guy orgasm in? a blowjob?

Yes. It may have happened. It's happened many times. But I made him come using a different technique. Yes, I do a facial every time, and it's my idea. I don't usually do a facial. I always end it with a facial. I usually, I usually, I usually, I ever begged you for oral sex?

I usually crouch down like I'm going to do a facial and I dodge out of the way at the last second and I've done. How confident are you when giving oral sex to a guy? I'm quite confident. I guess that's a good point. That's actually a great point. Let me change my answer. I feel like a blow job.

this year. Let's relax for a second. Something is a great idea for women out there. Because I'm trying to make it easier now because now I learn the horrors of oral sex is that you can make them think they're going to come on your face and just dodge it.

Just dodge, yeah, exactly, because they, yeah. Or even better. But after that, you know, you get it's dodged it. I go backwards. If you go into, or you just say, like, I promise I'm not going to dodge it this time. Whoa, I tripped. It goes all over a picture of his family.

family? What? No! That's my last photo, my grandma. You hit our pet bird. Great. It missed it went all in my hands.

Missed it went all in my hands, and I'm sticking it up and me making a baby out of it. My parrot knows that every time my jizz, I say, you say, cum shot. I'm like, Comshot.

Yeah. That's nasty. Yeah. I used to say Kobe, but. Then he died. And then I said with a thing that the closest thing, Why would you say Kobe?

He's a sexual assaulter. I know, that's why I stopped when I learned that. Have you ever initiated a blowjob when he wasn't expecting it and caught him by surprise? Every time. I surprise him every time. I've never given an expected boy job. I'm full of surprises. I jump out of places.

It's not like we're sitting together and I suddenly do it. I sneak up. I'm under the bed. I'm under there for six hours. I grab his ankles. I pull him under the bed. And I start sucking him from the back so he can't see me. Yes, regularly.

Yeah, for sure. Regularly, yeah. Whoa. Yes, it happens all the time. In 15 seconds. That's not possible. No. That's straight up physically possible.

He is yodling. Can you put yodeling? He's loud. Are you happy with your current blowjob skills? No, I'm not happy. I'm not happy. Oh, yeah. Wait.

Using your score, I've put together a special report on the five dangerous mistakes that will destroy your sex level. Oh, I shouldn't have taken. So we should receive this report. We can get this in our email. All right, let's get it. Let's get it. Wait, why did you switch to that camera?

Yeah, switch back to that camera. I'm excited to see what these all say. But first, let's get back to the list, maybe. Yeah, let's get back to this. We'll see that later. Okay. Auto plus bow. You can't read.

No, I should have worn my glasses, guys. Auto plus aphelia. It's a type of plushephylia. It's a type of plushephyllia. Where a person is aroused by the idea of being a stuffed animal. Especially a cartoonish one. Being a stuffed animal? Being a stuffed animal, which I feel like there's a distinction between this and a furry.

There's also, there's a distinction. For me, I have this, but I specifically for being a webkin, because I really like the idea of having a code that I can be used to play games online with. Being uploaded. Yeah, I would love to be uploaded. I would love to have a little avatar of myself that goes mining for gold coins. Yeah, like a firefighter chair. Because imagine if the guy in the fucked me in the game. What?

Oh, if the guy had fucked in the game. The guy fucked me. Like, so I'm getting fucked as a webcans. I'm the leopard. Okay. I'm getting fucked in my butt. I'm uploaded. Meanwhile, the guy in the curio shop, he's got me in the cave.

He's got me on all fours. I'm going to in the computer. I'm giving two at once. Oh. I'm getting double team. virtually. That's crazy. I'm back thinking about teeming.

If I was the real Santa, you would be off the list. I'd be off. Yeah, I'd be getting you off. There would be no, naughty or nice for you. No, no, no, no, no, no. You wouldn't even be on the records. You might as well be fucking dead. Expunging me, just redacted.

You don't exist. Your social security number's gone. Because you know Santa controls that. Of course. How do you think you keep strike all the kids? Exactly. The kids have the same, everyone's named Mohammed, most of all. That's going to be hard.

Plus, I could be at work. My webkins is getting railed. Do you feel it? Do you have a toy? I come home and I have a USB that I unplugged. I put it in the back of my head like the matrix. And I go like, oh! All this all comes in at once every time I got railed during the day while I was at work.

I think that in a couple of years probably will just sew everybody's stuff up. Yeah. And just have a USBC port. USBC port would be standardized. Yeah. Imagine if you could fuck yourself with your MacBook charger. It's like I don't need a... buy a toy.

Well, that would make this one a lot of people with this fetish very upset. You can already fuck yourself by breaking it and having to buy a new one. Bathroom control where the dominant person controls when and how and where the person

the submissive can dominate or can urinate or defecate. What does it say there at the end? Extreme bathroom control can be dangerous. Do you see how useful my bathroom communication idea would be for people with fetishes? Yeah.

That's a good point. Poop now. Don't poop now. All the stalls controlled. Here's my problem with this. From the control center. This entry says extreme bathroom control can be dangerous. Extreme anything can be pretty dangerous.

That's true. That's the meaning of extreme. Yeah. Once you get into the extreme spiciness. From Mexican food. That's way too. Yeah. Extreme sour cream.

That's dangerous. That can be dangerous. Extremely old or extremely sour and extreme. I don't invent the shit. Oh, extreme Islam and other religions can be very dangerous. More dangerous than the original religion. Extreme Christianity. Which people don't talk about.

People don't talk about that. Extreme is political philosophy, political philosophy. That shit's bad. Extreme danger. Yeah. Extreme danger can be harmful when you're in it. Here's an article that was on the side, though. Check out how to make a man cry in bed.

Sadness. Which I didn't look through because I think I would start crying, even thinking. That's true. Maybe the first five minutes of up, watch our iPad. While you're getting fucked? For me, it's like, ruin everything. For me, it's like the next 90 minutes, so I'm like I miss the best first part. The wife died.

True. He finally gets rid of that old bag. He gets rid of that old bag. She does fly around the world. She does look bad when she is running the balloon stand. Will you mean at the very beginning? Yeah. When she's a child?

No, when he's working in the zoo. Oh. Yeah. You see up and you're like, I don't want her to grow up. Yeah. That's what he says. And he sees that many balloons. He's like, I hope that's not the age of her at a birthday party.

I wish it would be a one balloon at a birthday party. He's next to. The hell's going on. These next two, I think, are, like, kind of closely related. Chasmophilia aroused by crevices, caverns, or valleys. Okay. And then claustrophilia is the opposite of claustrophobia. That's when you're attracted to Santa Claus.

Yeah. What up? It's a person who becomes aroused by your experiences of orgasm through confinement. Meme this. You must be Santa Claus if you think we're fucking. And then meme this. And then meme this. Okay.

This is pretty good. You must be Santa Claus if you think I'm fucking you. Up from behind. And then I'd maybe come in like... Yeah, and you're like, I don't know. Yeah, up. Your back side upper. And your front side down.

Don't go on the table because this thing is weak as hell, dude. You're going to break the table. Yeah, you must be Santa Claus. You think I'm not... If I'm going to... I'm going to fuck Santa Claus in the butt. And then I do this. Can meme this.

I want to fuck Santa Claus is behind. Yeah, punch in on Cam Okay, first yeah, punch it on me first And then meme this And I'm like, I'm going to get Santa Claus This year So we can meme that Yeah, we could totally

Impact font, GIF, and everything GIFT This next one here is Dendrophilia Which is also known as Arbophilia The Sexual Attraction of Trees Yeah, it's because you've put in your fucking lips all over it. You gonna say that again?

Yeah, asshole. This is a sexual attraction of trees because they are phallic shaped like or because they're phallic shape or because of the texture. There's a lot of different textures of trees. I have seen penises and trees on mushrooms before. Yeah. You just, a tree is just made out of fucking. It is. You know, a flower is sexual object.

To a bee. Go to that. A rose? I can't help myself. Any flower. Do you go to what exhibit? Yeah. I go to what exhibit?

George O'Keefe? That's the thing. You go see Georgia O'Keefe and you're like, yeah, this is a person. pussy to a bee. I never have wanted to fuck an oyster more. Yeah, that's true. My God. Well, maybe there was one time.

Yeah. This one is called figging. Using the ginger root to create a burning sensation. Must be peeled and inserted anil to create a burning sensation? Yeah. That's a nightmare, dude. It's spicy. Yeah.

True. That's extreme. I can't handle ginger on my food, let alone on my private area. Oh, fuck no. Ginger bread. Hell no. Keep that away from me. me. No, and keep the egg out of my nog.

This is great. This is great for people who want to fuck the gingerbread man. That's true. You put that ginger root up inside you. It would burn to fuck him. It would burn to fuck you, and then you put that thing up inside you. You never want to fuck the gingerbread man again. Well, that explains when I fucked that guy.

He said he was the gingerbread man, and my pee was burning for days after. Oh, I'm just the, wait, why did my pee burn? Oh, right. He was the gingerbread, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's fine. I'm just the gingerbread man. Let's just boil. Yeah, it's, yeah, you boiled it.

My God, it was, but my pee was fucking boiling, though. Your pee is bubbling up in the toilet. I was peeing in the toilet and was overflowing like a month doesn't coke. This is paraxophilia, which is the fetish for being robbed. Okay. It can be played as in consensual or non-consensual. Oh. Or consensual non-consensual.

Oh. Crematophilia? I don't know how to read that from here. It's a similar kink, which is for being forced to pay for sex. And this is you. And you got this? I don't have this one. You didn't have any of the others, but you have this one.

No. I've never been robbed. I think when it happens, it's going to happen really bad. They're going to really take me for everything I have. I think it's going to be one of those situations. They're going to put a gun to the back of my head. They're going to make me walk home, go on my house, and they're going to move all my stuff under a van. They're going to wait for your birthday, get all the Christmas cards.

I think they're going to really get. I mean, just because it's never happened for it. It's going to happen big. We were all robbed. 2016. Damn. Shit. You're right.

Damn. I think it's going to be full account cleanse. Account and physical possession. You're going to take me to my parents' home, like all this stuff out of my old bedroom. You're going to take mommy and daddy's toys. My mommy and daddy are going to be gone. Yeah. Taken.

I'm just afraid they're going to... My clothes, my hair. I'm afraid they're going to steal my fucking... I got robbed of my hair. Two bald men came into my house and robbed me of my fucking hair. My warmth? They can't rob you of your warmth. My warmth?

My smile. My joviality? I was robbed of my smile. How about your virginity? That, hey, can't take that away from me, buddy? Here's what I'm saying. I lost that H2. I hope.

I hope to God that somebody comes at me with a gun and robs me my virginity. I'm sick of having my V card. Get rid of that thing, dude. Dude, I don't want to lug that shit around anymore. It's so heavy. It weighs on you. It's the worst thing ever. Somebody should steal my shit for real.

Yeah, I didn't actually lose my Virginia, too. I will lose at 30. Yeah. You think so? This next one here, coronophilia. That's the easiest one to say. I'll read this.

I got, I got this one. Can you start reading them? I really can't say. A sexual fascination with thunder and lightning, similar to arousal from thunderstorms, brontophilia, you can't incorporate it into your sex,

but a thunderstorm makes a good backdrop for sexy times. Many people find their levels of desire increased during storms. I guess that makes sense. It's like, we're all going to die. It's like, yeah. Ooh.

It's not that scary. I'm not that scared of thunder. I meant you're in a dark room. Yeah. You're fucking. And then flash a lightning, boom. It's not who I thought it was. It's like a flash photography.

Whoa. That's a story. That's a movie. That's a short film. Yeah. Five minutes, YouTube. You know, he definitely doesn't have this. The strange lover.

Yeah. You know, he definitely doesn't have this. Who? Ted from Ted, Ted the bear. Ted the bear? He doesn't have it. He's afraid of this crap. You know who else doesn't have this?

My dog. Yeah. My dog has the opposite of this. She's Spade. She barely ever has sex. Yeah. Yep. I think...

What do you think? Spade is? You think you're like, sew them? They should. I've been thinking about that for a while. Well, she, I mean, she doesn't desire it. I did kind of pick up, Phil, and he got neutered, and I was like, why is his cock still on? They were like, we don't take his cock off.

Dude, I got to get Mo neutered, dude. His nuts are hanging. Is he trying to, like, fuck you yet? Does he desire you? I don't think he understands. Carnally? He wishes to know you, carnally? Do you have a biblical knowledge of your body?

He's like humping the catnip toy he's got. Damn. Dude, if I, maybe I am, maybe I'm neutered because I'm like, I never want to fuck my toys. True. I love those things and I'm never like a cat or a dog before they're neutered. It's like, this is my ball and I'm going to fuck it. But me, I'm like not fucking my computer. But I play Fortnite on there like night by night.

True, true. Every night. One by one. Mark checking it off the calendar. One by one. Played it tonight. one night down five minutes game play to do on fortnight place 99

nice his next one here lithophilia a king for rocks and stones are graveled this can be used non-sexual yeah it's just having a rock collection I don't can I can it can you have a sexual fetish that's non-sexual

is that one that's not I feel like that's cheating it's just like it geo dude yeah geo dude's cool yeah the only problem with geo dude he's a Pokemon got no cock He's the one of the arm, Baroque. Well, he's got his arms. If you like fingering and geo-due.

Fingerplay. Yeah. We're past F. If you like finger-play and Gio-D dude. This is alphabetical, right? Yeah. Past F, no finger play. Yeah.

Reward will be coming my way. But from who? Well, well, this, I'm just pulling up. It ain't going to be me, bro. I just pulled up the strangest. You're the one dressed at Santa Claus. I pulled up the strangest ones from the internet. Yeah, okay, Captain obvious.

You missed your commercial shoot. Yeah, you're Captain. You're Captain Christmas. Oblivious to what's around you. No such thing is Captain Oblivious. This next one... Oblivious. The existence of Captain Oblivius.

Cameron might have. Oh, yeah. Mommification. Poe show. I'm into Mimmy's. Kink of for Mommies. Where someone is down... I'm into Mommies, no daddies.

Damn, that's true. A kink where someone is bound entirely or nearly entirely to prevent almost all movement, a vacuum bed can achieve full mummification, as can plastic wrap. But it can be dangerous if bindings prevent airflow. Mummification can also involve extreme temperatures, so hydration is a... must to do it safely.

First of all, hydration is it must do basically anything safely because it's so fucking important for your body to be hydrated. Drink, hey, drink water. Yeah, that's the truth. Yeah, every day.

One glass a day at least. Yeah. It's like swirling text under here that just says drink water. Drink, hydrate. Hydrate. Mummification is a good one to do cheaply. How could, no, it can't be.

That's toilet paper mummy. No, but that's not, listen. You're still spending money on toilet paper. Man, you guys are fucking up. This is not, that is not the point of this shit. is that it's about being bound or nearly entirely. Okay, I see the issue here.

This website, information is faulty. Mumpification is more about wanting to have sex or be a mummy. Yeah, I think you're right. I think this is more, this is encasement. This is immurements. Yeah, exactly. Here's this one. Nullification, a kink for removing any body part.

This is very dangerous. And a nullo is an extreme kink for removing genitals. In practice, nullo is very dangerous. dangerous, and can even be fatal. Oh, so this explains why people are always saying Google Jerry nullification. Oh, no, they're talking about jury duty. It's probably a guy named jury, Jerry.

And Hayes Nullified. They probably want you to see him. I don't know what the hell you're talking about. What the fuck was that? And now you look so damn smug. Damn. Some experts will get that one. These next two are oculinictus.

Oculo-linktis. Oculolytis and oculophilia. These are about the eyeballs. I hate when the things happen in my eyes. I had a woman when I, not a woman. A woman? You had a woman? When I was a kid.

That'd be a first. Come on, man. When I was a kid, when I was a kid, I had a girl come up to me and say she wanted to lick my fucking eyeballs. You. She had a link to link this. I think she had a link to lick a link. Oh, you put it away with. Yeah.

And I was like, and I remember I said, how about you suck my damn dick? Damn. Yeah. Science. I think I've loaded this. list up a lot. We're kind of running out of time here. Science is fake because

it says lictus. It's about licking. It's like shouldn't you have a fancier name than ocula lictus? It's got the philia though. Oh, what was it? Well, this one. This one here will move on from this.

Yeah, lictus. Yeah, it's lictus. Lictus. Lictus. Linctus. This one here is Phygophilia? Fygophilia. Fetit for being a fictus.

fugitive on the run. See, these are all more scenarios that you do. It's less of a fet. It's more of a fantasy. These are movies that you want to be in. Yeah. Yeah, like being on a train car. Yeah.

Being a bedroom. Well, like, I'm thinking of like when you're on the run on a train car specifically. Oh, yeah. Elaborating on this one. Sorry, I wouldn't, I would love to get in a box car. Yeah. Man, I bet there's some insane parties in those. Oh, yeah.

I always think about, like, I always think about this. Yeah. Like, you jump on a box car. car and you're like getting away out of town or whatever and it's like oh it's like 15 hours to the next town that I can get off on and I get on there is this guy on here with me there's the other hobo he sucks yep and I'm like to I it's worse than an airplane there's only one other guy true and he's say he sucks no you're in one car you can't switch cars no but there's like tons of room none of them are which cars it's just one car it's filled with hay a lot of these

it's a haytrain but also you get into a box car and there's like 15,000 iPhones in there not only not made not in this time period yeah 15,000 iPhones, no charger. My thing takes place in the 1700s, and maybe it should have been clear about that, but there were no iPhones back then. Well, yeah, you've got to open with that. Well, this next one here, but that's not a problem in the current day, because you just go on your iPhone.

That's true. When you're in the car. Savantophilia, a fetish for people who have a cognitive impairment or delay. Speaking of iPhones and homeless guys, I saw a homeless guy in Las Vegas who was on an iPhone. And I was like, huh, I didn't really realize he was homeless at first. He was on an iPhone. He's using it. And he walked up to a trash can.

just threw it in the trash. Damn. I'm telling you, dude, they have bands. Nowadays, they have racks. This guy's a fucking millionaire if he's throwing away an iPhone. Yeah.

Yeah. And then he dumped the trash out and he started throwing shit everywhere. Yeah. It was a whole kind of thing. Yeah. It must have been his thing. Trash door.

It must have been like his hobby or his art. Yeah. Maybe he didn't like the trash being in one place. Yeastiality. Sexual activity involving bread, especially warm dough. This may be an alleged kink. Introducing yeast to the genitals

can lead to an infection. So, When we have sex, I just have something to tell you. I allegedly... Have a donut on my... I allegedly have a bagel around my cock. There might be... And look, it's a little weird.

Yeah. I allegedly like it when you dress up as a make. I may have folded my penis. Allegedly. Allegedly. I may have folded it ten times. And I want you to put in an oven so it puffs up. Butter pads underneath it. If you guys could fuck one pastry, if you could. Yeah, if we had the chance.

If you had the chance to fuck a pastry, which pastry is the most sexual? Boston cream. Chocolate croissant down the middle, gliding through that warm chocolate. I think a hot, hot eclare or something. And Eclare is actually perfect. I mean, not a jelly donut. No hole. People would say jelly donut because I think it's funny, but it's a bullshit pick.

There's no hole. In a clear, well, you'd have to burrow a hole in a hole. You get sugar up your mea-ish. Sugar up the hole is never good. That's never good. That's never good. No. Maybe, okay, maybe that almond paste croissant, so you're not, so it's less chocolatey and more almond.

And the only time it exfoliates your cock. And I just like the, I like almond smell better than chocolate smell when I'm fucking. That's fair. I actually do love almond smell. When you're fucking? No, just in general. So also when you're fucking. I had an old table, I had an old table that was in storage.

I wiped it down with almond oil. And I was like, damn, this is a good ass smell. Oh, maybe a bag filled with all. olive oil, if that counts as a pastry. A bag of frozen olive oil. That's warming up throughout the day. That's my answer for all that stuff. I guess like a toothpaste tube, if you count that as a pastry.

Clearly, I've spent a lot of time thinking about what inanimate object I'd like to fucking try to make it fit into every question. This next one here, this is a German word. Sveichenstufa. How is that the one you get? I can read it from here You can't read anything You can read that

I don't even think I said it right Zweichen Zweisschen Zwefah Okay Is the sexual obsession with people

of the same sex People have this fetish That is homosexuality What the hell Are you talking about? There's a good camera To keep cutting That was really good

The two angles of it Is perfect Can you do that again? Damn, you got three Just talk about homosexuality for a minute Just switch between these two cameras

And look it's okay nowadays okay they want to pretend it's not nowadays and pretend it was way far ago okay it's gonna be way okay in the future

okay but for now but for right now you gotta keep that shit at the bathhouse and you gotta keep you gotta keep in the car

and in the alleyway okay because wait wait like 10 years because it's a 2002 okay may like two years years two years now for you because it's going to be on what the hell is this can't

is this me oh that's oh no that's that's that's Caleb this is my this is my shoulder it's yeah all right uh what's next next is uh these some comments oh tippy i know tippy yeah tipy says uh you miss some like a balloon fetish fornophilia turning people into furniture formicophilia being crawled on by insects dendrophilia trees i was on there did not miss that they did Tipy, you're out. Cap Malonia. All right, Tony Soprano. Yeah.

Another TV reference I'm going to throw in here from HBO. You're fucking out. What's that from? Kenny Powers. Oh, you're thinking of baseball. But that's his catchphrase specifically. Man, shut up. Eratophonophilia is snuff.

I guess since it is murdering people. Oh. Geronotophilia. Geronito. Oronotophilia, old people, objectophilia, like the lady that married

the Berlin Wall, mechanophilia, having sex with cars and stuff. And stuff. Yeah. I have sex with cars and stuff. Just put like a Roomba. Put like a fleshlight on a Roomba chasing around the house.

For the purpose of fetish, a Roomba is an animal. What's true? True. That's a completely different class from someone who wants to have sex with a wall. One day I hope they make a, a furry living Roomba that lives like a one of the books

We should buy a Roomba and put fur and skin on it. No, but I wanted to have I wanted to have animatronic eyes that go like, run around the table well. We get liquid latex and just like cover a room. Oh my God, that's such a good idea. Like a big nipple in the middle. Dude, we should do that. And make, but I want to have animatronic eyes

and go like, dude, no, we do. Do you. This the Existens Rumba. That's incredible. Yeah, it's a great idea for a prop. Wow. Wow. For a thing in my house that I use in My girlfriend's away. Whoa. To clean.

So when she gets home, it's clean. That's okay. That didn't take a tip. That didn't take a tip. I'm going to tip it after a sperm in his hole. The fuck's wrong with you, man. What's wrong with you? What's wrong with you?

Hybristophilia, criminals. Apo. Okay. That's a fetish for being an amputee. A basophilia. Why are you making these? Why don't you just make the size big? You made the slideshow.

I thought I would have my glasses today. but I left the house pretty early. Right, and your glasses don't load until later in the day. No, no, no, no. They're not ready till later. People with impaired mobility, mud and quicksand fetish. Oh, I got that. You got this next one, cowlera feel earlier.

True. Clowns. When I'm old, I'll have that. Wikipedia lists are often helpful. I got that. I'm going to wait to, dude, when I'm 70, like, or 80, I'm going to go so crazy. First of all, I'm going to be, like, cocaine and DMT. I'm going to fuck so many clowns.

Because nothing matters of that. Yeah, it's like, it's like, I can do whatever. I'm going to fuck so many clowns and circus freaks. Yeah, you better. Under bridges. Linda Fent says, I like it when my dog watches. What would that be called? I like it when my dog watches TV.

Yeah. Yep, he watched White Lotus and he understood that there was hot women in it. He started barking. I swear to God, he started getting a red pink boner. The only time my dog ever reacted to TV was when there was a horse on TV and she went crazy and she tried to kill it. She doesn't react to dogs on TV. Really? She had a horse and she went nuts.

Bill almost knocked my TV over because there was a bird on it the other day. He, like, went head first into it and knocked the shit over. I've done that, too, a few times. Yeah, I mean, who hasn't seen? It looks like a window. Yeah. You know? This next one here.

What about bringing yourself in paper? Joshua, Isabel asked that. Joshua, we already talked about mummification. Come on, motherfucker. You stupid ho. Fuck you. Fuck you, Joshua is. Also, this is not a brainstorm session.

Yeah. Say the name of it. The scientific name, describe it in detail. And now read this one. J.D. Wood says, any information on Queen of Spades? And I didn't look up what Queen of Spades meant. It would be a pretty good parody song about females. The Queen of Spades.

The Queen of Spades. Yeah. Met around the fetish list. No, it wouldn't be about fetishes. It would be about how women are. Yeah. It would probably be about cards. Yeah.

It would be called hair. And it's by the best. And it's by the band Hairhead. Yeah. Oh, okay. Hairhead. Because women have a long hair. Okay.

The next one here. Sam Cummings says Comflation. That's true. Conflation. Now, this is true. And look at this, 333. You have less. I'm definitely making less.

Conflation. Conflation. Conflation. 3.30. This is an angel number right here. Oh, 333. That's maybe the first time ever you said something as an angel number and actually was. So congratulations.

I'm really proud of you. I think this is a divine. That means this. is a divine question. September 27th, Divine Day. Does this mean that you used to have more come than you have now when you need to come? Or your cum's worth less. Your cum is worth less.

You've been producing way more. True. And your girlfriend doesn't even care about it anymore. It's complete cumflation. She does. You come over my whole body. I don't even care if it's on my, yeah. I don't give a shit about your cum anymore.

There's too much of it. I don't care. It's not each individual's from Spider-Man. Norman Osborne says, anyone attracted to girls with poopy, hairy puddle? That's what drove him to invent the green goblin serum. That's what the green goblin would do. He's gobbling up that green poop out of a butt. No, dude, his wife or his girlfriend or whatever, you know, he was like,

he's like, can I eat your poopy, hairy butthole? And she's like, no. And he was like, look at the monster you've made me. And he turned green and he flew out of the window. What's the next to it here? Jeff, Jeff says, I don't understand why smoking is. is a fetish left off of nearly every published list of fetishes, yet is one of the most common fetishes.

We carry enough shame already for having a fetish for a socially unacceptable action. It would be nice to be included. It would just be nice. It would be nice. It's like, hey, you're leaving us off all these amazing fucking lists. Yeah. Include us for a little bit.

Exactly. I want to be on the list next to my brothers and sisters in the kink community. It's messed up what's happening to smokers. So next one here, Sienna says, Is there a name for a fetish where you love being trampled Because that thing really makes me aroused Which, yeah, there is, I met a guy Mufocilia. Yeah, Mufossa.

You know, it's just a fax. The lion kink. Yep. I'd call it Kevophilia based on the guy I met. Okay. O.J. Simpson. He says, what about how I like Warburne? up on my

Satu-Samas. I like warming up my Satu-Sumas on a radiator's before squeezing the sticky juice on her. This is discriminatory. Please tell me I'm not the only one with this.

What is this? Satu-suma. I think you can use context clues. Sat-suma. Nuts? Yeah, it's probably hands. It must be hands or face or butt-sheek.

What if it's a type of food? Yeah, it's probably food is what it is. I like warming up my food on the radio. That is a very much... I like doing that too, but that's not sexual. That's a very fetish... That's a very fetish emoticon with the devilish eyebrows.

Yeah. This next one, you're Dondo Frum. Donaldo. Donald Frump. Who on a try Ocula Linctus. Hit me up at the Capitol. Bro, wait, was that... You think that's who I think it is?

A year after he wasn't the president anymore. Uh-huh. And he said it on Leap Day. Dude, that's him announcing another... Oh, my God. He wants people to come back to the Capitol. It's a code. That's a Q code.

That's true as shit. Wait a minute. Eyeball, Q code, cue ball, pool. The pool at the White House will be filled with insurgents. With his eyeball liquors. Liquor drinking. Donald Trump has famously never licked. Licked a liquor bottle.

I'm thinking I will be in the White House and attacking. No. Holy cow. I can't finish what this code is telling me. I can't say it on air. It'll be too dangerous. But if you want to know what the. code is, we'll tell you

if you subscribe to us on Patreon, Twitch, TikTok, Twitter. Patreon.com slash podcast about list. Ow. I thought I was helping. Stop it. You fucking suck. That's my microphone. You shouldn't do that with mine. You can do that with your own.

I don't care about the windscreen. Look, I'm the only one who has the punch ins. Okay. I should have I should have been a script. Oh, this is your microphone? Well, you got white fuzz on mine. I'll sing into it if I care Okay then sing to close us out But I also

Sing to close us out Christmas time We actually have stuff to mention you You guys are making a mockery and a clownery Before we do the thing that we have to talk about Check out Swagpoop.com just got a low-key makeover True It looks amazing

And not only that If you've ever watched one of these videos Where I'm shaking my ass as Santa Claus We're talking about fucking licking hairy buttholes As a Spider-Man character And one of us is nervous because he has a vet appointment that he has to go to so he didn't do well in this episode. Shut up. He's getting neutered.

If you were like, yeah, that was so awesome. And actually, I'm so proud of that, I'd like my name on the end of it. Then you can still, you can do that now. Go to Patreon.com slash podcast about list for $15 a month to get the executive producer. You put your name at the end of an episode. You can also put that on your resume. You can put that on your resume. I will honestly, if you want me to like talk to a realtor or something, because you use me as a reference.

That's fine. That's okay. But the also exciting part of the executive producer. But the also exciting part of the executive producer tier, if you're paying $15 a month, once a month, there will be a shareholder meeting held on Discord, if you want to join the Discord, where we will talk about the state of the company, and it's business formal. You have to come dressed up, and come ready to talk business, there will be a Q&A session. We'll do presentations about the state of the company of Sullivan the Frog Enterprises, and you'll be able to ask questions. But, you know, come serious, come ready to work, come ready to talk about the state and the future of the company. And not only that, man.

You can grade us on our performances. Yeah, do we want to announce the date of the first shareholder meeting, which I'm trying to remember right now? Yeah. It will... If somebody who has access to a computer could tell us... Somebody could just say it or write it down or show me. Write it down in the PowerPoint.

The 16th of December. And I believe we said 5 p.m. Eastern time. We're going to have the first one. So make sure... And after that, we'll have a standardized day. It is every month. But for now, if you're going to subscribe to that, you better make sure you do it before then

because you're going to miss the shareholder meeting. Yep. And make it get, let's try to get to $100 million so that we can make our feature. If we get to $20,000, we're making a feature film. Yep, that's right. So share this episode, send it to your friends, and follow us on all our social medias, which are here and here and right here, and right here. And right here. There's one right here. There's two here.

There's one on this side and one on this side, and there's one around here. And please go easy on me. I'm sorry for my performance. I'm going to go sleazy on you, sludge you. You did great, pal. You were fine. I liked your list was good, too. My performance. You had a good performance.

In the company so far. You're a great employee. I'm talking about my company. I'm talking about the company. I do. You're trying to fuck this vet. That's not a good. You're trying to fuck this vet.

Oh, my God. You just do smell good. My nose is all clogged up. Bye. Bye. Okay, Simon. Oh. Okay, Theodore.

Oh. Oh. Okay, Alvin. Alvin. Oh, man!