Podcast About List - Ep. 225 - Guided Meditation

Episode Date: January 18, 2023

Come along on the trip of relaxing meditation, take a load off while you wonder why Patrick is dressed like that today when we clearly told him the theme for this week's episode well in advance and he shows up wearing whatever he felt like it. Watch the video for this episode youtube.com/@PodcastAboutList Buy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and D&D episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

IWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWOWO WAWOWO WAWO WAW. We're going to be able to be. And let's begin. Namaste. Namaste to you as well. B-D-D-D-D-U. What? I thought we were doing the Minion episode today.

We clearly said meditation. You know what? God did meditation. First letter, last three letters. Uh-huh. Yeah. They are exactly the same. And you know that you are working with a dyslexic with ADHD.

So, I think this is on, huh? Daha. That's what you said. I did not say Daha. You said Daha, D-A-H-A. Do you think that you're... No, I said B-D-D-D. There's only two things I can really say.

You think that your dyslexia and ADHD is bad enough that you could get a handicapped placard for... I think I could get a handicapped placard for my driving. Sorry, you both said something awesome. Yeah. You first. Probably before my driving. Oh, yeah, you're a bad driver.

You probably get a handy job out of it. Nowadays, this society venerates mental illness and makes it okay and gets sex as usual pleasure out of it. You think that people who have sexual who get hand jobs, men who get hand jobs are disproportionately dyslexic and ADHD. Wow. And you've done the research on this. You know, this is supposed to be, this is supposed to be kind of a hippie kind of episode. You're coming in with some serious sexual aggression. Well, I've been completely thrown off.

Why is that? Let's send. You know what? That's a really good point. point, and I think we should center ourselves a little bit. All right, ring the gong. Okay. By the way, this is a regulation.

Regulation gong. You might say this is small, but in movies and stuff, because the monks are always hidden it, but monks are very small. It's forced perspective. They're like elves or gnomes, and they have to live far away from normal society. They live high up on a mountain because the gravity is lower up there. They can fly. It's like how things that are, that are far away.

Oh, yeah. Are, end up being smaller. Stuff that is way up high, like the monks. They don't get too big. No. They're, you know. Well, it's also hard to carry such a big gong all the way up a mountain.

Yeah, you got to make a fucking tiny gong. It's like when I'm moving into an apartment and I find out, oh, I'm going to be living on the fourth floor. Like, I'm getting a small bed. I'm getting a bed that's this big so I can bring it up to a fifth floor walkup. Yeah. I can put it on the thing and pull it up a crane. I'll just size it up later. I'll just grow it.

You think it'll be easy bringing the. that gong through your hallway. Hell no. No. You think, oh, it's flat. It's very movable. That shit's heavy. Yeah. That's probably the heaviest things in my apartment. It's my gong. Not even to mention the rammer. Yeah. Yes. And that's the official word for it.

That's what it said on the Amazon listing for our gong. This is a, it said hit it with the rammer. It is a rammer. Ours has no yak hair on it, though. Well, actually, you know what? There was some red strings, but they got completely disappeared. Oh, okay. We could put some strings on it. They might have been holy or sacred. From a red yak? I put some of my hair. You don't have red strings.

You barely have hair. Oh, there's a little bit on the back here that I forgot to get. So you can get that. The Minion Makeup really does cover up your insanely bloated Wisdom Tooth surgery face. It's kind of crazy. You looked like a freak before you put on this Minion makeup. Look at how big that is. Yeah.

Yeah, half your face is. And you have a yellow fucking microphone. I was prepared. You're born. Uh-huh. You were born. We were all born. That is some serious fucking shit.

You know, guys, I just want to start this off. I mean, we're getting into the thick of it, and that's okay. But, you know, it's important. The beginning of every day, which this episode is kind of like a day to us. We do one a day. We want to do some affirmations and look into a mirror and tell ourselves some things that we want to make true with the law of attraction. Okay. So I've prepared some affirmations.

for us to all read together in unison that we can kind of center ourselves and prepare for this day ahead of us and really get some positive energy going in here. So let's go ahead and get these affirmations up on screen. And let's get the thing focused so I can click on it. But first, DJ, hit that gong. Okay. Wow. Great gong ring that time around.

That was a really good one. Yeah. All right. Are you guys ready for the affirmations? Yes. Yep. I always make a lot of money in the crypto market. I make thousands of dollars every single day.

Can we get the visuals up also maybe? Yeah, yeah. Let's get some visuals up over this. Okay, hold on here. You get these visuals pumping because these are, I would say, pretty huge. Yeah, there we go. Oh, yeah. Now we're really rolling in psychedelic.

Now, now here we go. Let's move on here. Okay, let's see this next one. money creates a positive impact on my life and the life of others okay i can handle massive success with ease these are pretty good my income is rising at a rapid rate i am a sexual goddess and my boobs are legendary i have a fat ass and a good heart God is my refuge. I am a vast empress on a gilded path of greatness.

I am a tiny baby, and I deserve a cookie. I must respect the sanctity of human life. My skin color doesn't define my worth. Interesting that Patrick didn't read along on that one. I can't say this one. This is not my natural skin color. He doesn't agree. I'm not, I'll say it again.

Okay, ready, ready? No negativity. My skin color doesn't define my worth. Okay, it just took you a while. You're a little late to that train. All right, let's keep going. I'm a pretty princess, and everything just works out for me. If my survival means that evil must win the day, so be it.

If I am evil according to what the world says, then it is what it is. if goodness is not available to me then I will claim what is offered to me Prepping my meals brings me great satisfaction I'm weighing to meal prep. And then one last one for us here. Oops. I guess it disappeared.

I guess that's the last one. I mean, do you remember it off the top of your head? Yeah, it was I am best friends with Cameron. Whoa. I am best friends with Cameron. I'm best friends with Cameron. I'm best friends with Cameron. Okay, three.

Two, one, I am best friends with Cameron. That's a shame that one got deleted, but I'm glad we got it in anyway. Yeah, and these are all, these, I just wanted, these are all, I did not write these affirmations. These are all, I found them all. Wow, where did you find them? Just on different fun websites I like to check out to kind of. You do, I will say, listen, I thought I was dressed like a hippie, right, because of my tie-dye thing. And also my new ass hat, but you are dressed seriously like a hippie.

Yeah, I can't help it. So this is just the way I dress. You look exactly like my friend Jennifer's mom who died of cancer. Exactly like her right now, minus the mustache. This is crazy. We all took the antibiotics I've been prescribed, and now we're all complete hippies. Yeah. It must have been that, right?

That must have been what opened our third eye. I saw God's light and a laser, but. See, it didn't work on me. You guys are soaring. For me, it just kind of helped my wisdom teeth. I saw something crazy this morning because I've been in a psychedelic mood. because I've been thinking of different sacred geometries and how mushrooms can actually...

You know, I was thinking about a mushroom, but then it's so good on top of a steak or something. But a giant mushroom cloud that destroys Hiroshima or Nagasaki is a fucking bad thing to see. And here's kind of an addendum to that. Imagine, if you will, a bird soaring high above the sky. She's a mushroom cloud.

What does the bird think? This is the beginning of a great forest. That's right. A forest larger than one ever in case. Then all of a sudden he's turned into dust And his shadow is cast on a brick wall forever When I see a mushroom, I think This could be a gnomes home

Yeah You definitely could make a stoner comedy about Hiroshima and Nagasaki Where some guy, he smoked wheat And then the explosion happens And he goes, oh no, I'm too high And he puts his joint down But he says that in Japanese probably This could be an Oppenheimer

It probably isn't it There's a good chance that it's probably going to be a fucking stoner in Oppenheimer who sees that mushroom cloud for the first time. And it's like, what am I smoking? Little Cheech and Chong cameo there at the end. Yeah, Cheech and Chong's parents prequel Oppenheimer to Up and Smoke. Yeah, Cheech Senior. Offenheimer Up and Smoke.

Oppenheimer 2 Up and Smoke is a really good name for the sequel. Well, that's what the whole Cheech and Chong series. is supposed to have, like, Oppenheimer, colon, Cheech and John, Colin. Their parents were survivors of Hiroshima Nagasaki. That's why they're drug addict kids. Yeah, that's why they're all fucked up in the head. It's about the cycle of abuse.

Yeah, yeah, that's a really good point. Yeah, they have some mutation in them that leads to... It makes them smoke that green, green, and also, they're Japanese. They have a Mexican child. Yeah, it's pretty impressive. And also, they're... Are they supposed to be brothers in those movies?

Changed. The genes changed. They cheen. They cheat. Yeah, we're doing this again. You know what? I saw today. Not they chonged.

Speaking of... They cheeched. Yeah, they cheeched. They cheeched them had a chong. Cheech me how to chung. Cheech me how to chung. Yep.

That would... That would have been a funny-ass fucking YouTube video. You know who I saw today? Speaking of funny YouTube videos, I saw Norm MacDonald. But I saw him not in the flesh and not in the ground. I saw him on the hoodie

of a 900-year-old Mexican lady. He was walking on... street and she had it was like the obama hope thing but it said norm and i said nice shirt she went ah like that oh my god it's him reincarnated yeah he went no but she was clear she had no idea of what was on her shirt and it was just a shirt she got it's really making me laugh yeah finally all those uh those those those ads for the clips of the norm clips they're finally those shirts are finally going somewhere i never thought people bought those yeah oh the The I'm Not Norm

Where they're in the middle of the clip? I don't know. There's this channel on YouTube called I'm Not Norm. Where it's like this lady who uploads like 40 videos a day and they're all like Norm McDonald on black NBA players. And then she puts in the middle of the video a picture of her like this. In the T-spring shirt. Yeah, wearing a shirt like that.

I know the channel, but I've never seen the T-spring shirt. You got to get one. Yeah, I think we should all get them. Yeah, I think that's a pretty good idea. It looks like Obama's face. Yeah. But it's normal. Norm's face and says Norm

Like he said this old woman had I see yeah What is your is your mouth making you talk like that Yes Dude it's so there's so much like That right here you sound like a nerd I know It sucks

You sound gay I sneezed so hard last night I think I ripped a stitch in my mouth Really? Yeah This is like how you sounded when I first met you Yeah Yeah

I think so I bring me up I told you that yesterday I said but it looks like half of you is the old Patrick. Yeah. Then half of you is the new Patrick. And then I'm over here, meanwhile, being like,

I'm over here meanwhile being like a minion with Stitch in his mouth. Yeah, I think I've seen a deviant art of that. Oh, come on. That's what I'm like. I hate to say it, but that's what I'm like over here. That's not very third eye open of you. There's got to be Stitch. I close my third eye for one minute.

Isn't there a couple minions that have a third eye? I have seen Stitch with his third eye open on some of those devian arts. Holy shit. Some of the minions only have one eye. That looks like me. right now. Yeah, they have one or two eyes. Yeah.

So if they have one eye, are they opening their second eye? And then the third one is named, like, Luis. Kevin. It's Kevin. Kevin. Luis. That might be my... You look like your name is Luis.

No. I look like my name is... You look like Jeremiah the Bullfrog. From the song. No. And all those guys would smoke we do. Who sings that clear... Stop talking to me about Cleedens Flotter.

What the fucking you're... What is it called? Credence... Credence Clearwater Revival You knew what it was You affected me Cleetons flotter Cleans flutter

It's the Sims version Are they the fake swamp band? I think so Right? I don't know They pretended to be from But they were all from like New Jersey Yeah

Yeah they didn't touch a All I know about them is that they're a band That I've always That in my brain exists only as a name, and I can't even imagine what they would sound like, but I just always once in a while, we'll see people on like a random person I don't know on social

media, be like, they actually kind of rip. You don't remember... It was Easy Top. Bowen on the Bayou. They also... Not from that, at least. They're fortunate, son, right? Yeah, I don't... Yeah, Battlefield Bad Company 2 Vietnam Expansion. Yep.

Fire. That was a fucking fire-ass game. But basically, I saw some funny-ass shirts today. Would you guys do anything? I went to Staples. to apply for TSA pre-check. I would love to work at Staples. And the lady, the... Are you kidding me?

He would love that shit. I'm sorry. You saw him. We went to Office Depot in Portland. He went fucking crazy. Can you cleanse me really quickly? Yeah. And I was in line, and it was a really long line.

And I was near the front, and they were like four old people ahead of me, and they were going so fucking slow. And the lady who was, who was like a Staples employee who does the, like, she does of the whole, like, scans your passport and does all this stuff. She was literally sobbing the entire time. I was there for, I was waiting in line for probably 45 to 50 minutes, and she was crying her eyes out. Did she explain why she was crying? No, she was so sad, and she was crying, and her co-workers kept coming over and be like,

are you okay what's going on her? She was like, I'm fine, I'm okay. And she just kept crying, and there are just these old people, like, doing, like, hunt and peck on the screen trying to type their emails in and taking, like, 20 minutes each. and just like being the worst the worst person you can imagine ever having to set up TSA pre-checkboard and she was just weeping her eyes out

and then I got to the front of the line I said listen I love you you should yeah listen I love in a very positive way damn I got that to her and then I said you will give me pre-check without doing any background checks on me or checking my record you will let me skip the passport

I can bring my bag of drugs under the plane This is what I'll have on the plane. So you hypnotized her? Yeah. Out of being on her period. Yep. Damn. You took her off her period?

Mm-hmm. And I just kind of fire. Stopped it. Yeah. I hate when you're doing something like that. Don't do that in Staples. Yeah. This is a sacred place for men.

Yeah. I come here to make my copies and to look at the USB mice. Great. And one of the girls is all in the fucking rag. Oh, awesome. I come here to log in the hearthstone on your iPad and get free card packs. That's right. To send myself a gift on Clash of Clans.

Yeah, I've never really thought about it. Stop fucking crying. I've never thought about it, but yeah, Staples is like the nerd version of Home Depot, huh? That is my mecca if there was 1,000 mecas in every city. I'm thinking that you're thinking of Best Buy, which, by the way, you're dressed like you work at. Oh, my God. Best Buy is the most fire store of all time. Best Buy is Home Depot for us.

Best Buy betrayed me one time. Yeah, that's true. I had to go to the DMV, and then I was waiting in Best Buy after because I had to catch a bus, and it wasn't coming for a while, and it was cold out. And I just walk around Best Buy looking at all the movies and stuff, as you do and Best Buy. And the employees came out to me maybe three times

and were like, they clearly thought I was like homeless or something. And they were like, do you need anything? Like, what are you doing in here? And they kept trying to kick me out. Anytime that I've gone to Best Buy with Patrick, I've been there to buy something

and he spends 45 minutes opening all the DVD cases to see if there's anything in them. I do not. Yeah, you do. What I do is I go. I disappear and I play with the cameras. He knocked all, like, he, like, set off the loudest alarm I've ever heard of my life because he was, like, throwing the cameras around.

No, I wasn't throwing them. I was trying to play with one. He goes on full, he goes full 10-year-old kid in a hotel mode. He's like, yeah, like, the kid's like, I'm going to go get some ice and it's just gone. Have you ever been to, he does that? We walk in to get, like, an XLR cable and we find him, yeah. Have you ever been interacting museum? He's playing poker on one of the shelves, like, employee the month.

That's exactly how I treat Best Buy. Yeah. It's like, when you go in, it's like, here is like, you can build this thing in the museum. I go in there, I'm like touching all the cameras. Do what you're talking about? Cameras, speakers, TVs, DVD box sets, Legos. I can't. What?

Would they have Legos at Best Buy? Amipos. Yes, they have Legos at Best Buy. Your voice is so fucked up. I'm fucking. I'm like, you sound so, you sound like the gay. Of course, they have a demos. I said, of course, they have Legos.

I cannot believe how bad you sound. You guys made me come to work. I could have phoned in. We didn't make you do anything. I think you are phoning it in actively. The fact that you were wearing a minion outfit. I'm not, you saw how long this took. The voice is too.

It's too much. I'm trying not to rip another stitch. Listen, okay, here's what we're going to do today. Okay, this is the guided meditation episode. This is about chakras. This is about healing. We are going to heal Patrick's mouth today. By the end of the episode, he is going to be healed.

Thank God, because there's not going to be another day of me talking like this. I think that you're going to be probably talking like this forever. I fucking hope not. I think you're going to look like that forever, too. There's like a, I thank God that tooth is out. But if I look like this forever, I think I can sue. You look like, it's kind of like a late-life brando on the left side of your face. Yeah, it's just kind of.

Yeah, dude. Being weighed down. Oh, man, I got a hair on my, I can't touch the rest of my face. You got one of your giant minion eyelashes fell into your fucking eye? Yeah, but I can make a wish, though. Guess what I wish? What do you wish for? World peace.

You know what you never seen the NBA is a minion. Yeah. Yeah, too short. Probably makes sense. Way too short. They don't have a tall. Because they have had short guys in the NBA. I think they're too old.

Mugsy Boggs. I think they're too old to. Most I think it's too old to be in the NBA. Yeah, there is. They fucking ride around on rocket chips and shit. Didn't you see if he's? Fall off buildings. Haven't you seen the team?

The Cairo Mommies? No. They're all like 10,000 years old. They're not very good at basketball. Check that team out. But they can play. They can play. And they are there in the NBA.

They don't play very often. No. They do work. Very rarely. Like one game every like a hundred seasons. Yeah. Okay. And only some Halloween.

The Halloween game. Yeah. Yeah. Do you, so you don't have any meditation that you have written down or anything. I have one memorized. Okay, well, you want to do it? I guess I can. Well, you got to ring that fucking gong.

Don't ring it from the back. Oh, my God, that was so close. Why can't hit it from the back? You cannot hit it from the back. You cannot hit it from the back. Why can't I hit it from the back? If I am involved, you cannot hit it from the back. We will not let you hit it from the back.

Don't hit my thing from the back. Not once. Bro, I can't even hit it from the back one time. I brought my thing from my house. You're not going to hit it from the back. All right. All right. I'll hit it from the front.

Alright. Okay. Okay. Now I want everyone in here to close your eyes. Okay, I want you to breathe in. Breathe in deep, deep breaths. Keep breathing. Okay, now when I count to five, I want you to exhale,

but right now I want you to focus solely on your butthole. Okay? Okay, so keep that breath in. One, two, three, four, four, five. Okay, now, with your eyes still closed, where are you? Can we breathe in? You're breathing out now. You're still exhaling

You're still exhaling You're getting all of that air out of you Where are you in your mind right now? Where are you? Exhale Keep exhaling Where are you in your mind? I want you to feel

You're pushing gale force Why did you ask about my butt? You're focusing on your butt hole right now But where are you? This is not, I'm at the office Just shut up and let the meditation guide you. Okay, continue You're still exhaling

you're pushing gale forced winds out of your body where are you Chicago I'm in Chicago you're in Chicago focus on your butthole you're in Chicago you're in Chicago's south side you're inside of Portillo's

you're eating one of the biggest Italian beasts of your life focus on your butthole focus on your butthole Folk, you just dipped your Italian beef into the azou. Still exhale, still exhale, still exhale. Exhale right now. I don't have any more hair.

Keep exhaling. You can't, you're, the only thing you're inhaling right now is Italian beef. Keep exhaling. Keep exhaling. Get those, get those. You are blowing wind out of your body like the windy city. keep blowing that air out of your body focus on your butthole

is this going somewhere your stomach is starting to hurt is this a story your stomach is starting to hurt because you ate your Italian beef too fast all you can do is exhale out of your nose because you order two Italian beasts and you're dipping them

you're dipping them hard focus on your bottle now I want you to let everything out of your butt. What? Let all of the juices flow. Right now? This is the...

And then when you wake up, you're going to open your eyes. You're going to be in heaven. That was terrible. That was so bad. That did nothing. That didn't do anything. That you told us, it seems like almost just a thing that happened to you where you ate so much Italian beef that you shamed. that you shit yourself and then you

pretended like it was like some... And then I pretended to die so that everyone wouldn't look at me, yeah. Meditation is about telling you you pretended to die? What I was in? I was in Chicago.

I went to Portillo's. I got two Italian beasts because I liked them. You said beasts. It's because of my mouth thing. Two Italian bees. Let me keep sucking. Two Italian beasts.

I ate them too fast. I dipped too much. I put too much gravy on their eyes. Aju, and then I shit my pants at a table, and everybody could smell it and started freaking the fuck out. So, I pretended to die, so they had to take me out on a stretcher. That's a good move, actually. If you shit yourself, why don't people pretend to die more? I had to piss myself, too, to make it look like I was expunging every single liquid from my body.

Yeah. Took me out on a gurney, and then I woke up in the back of the ambulance, and I, I had to pay them off for their silence, but now I'm breaking my silence because today is about healing. I don't think it is about my biggest secrets. I think that ambulance people are already not allowed to talk about what happens, so. Okay, then I didn't need to pay them. Well, no, you didn't need to pay them for the... I think you just paid for the ambulance, though.

Because I guess I left a tip. Did they drop you at your house? Did you go to the hospital? I still had to go to the hospital. And so what did you say there? Well, then I walked around the streets of Chicago and a hospital gown. So you went through intake. You're in a hospital gown.

Yes. Well, they wanted to get the clothes off of me because they were shit all over me. Okay, that makes sense. Yeah. But they probably had the little butt window on your gown. Oh, yeah. And so it's like stinky. You know what?

Those Italian beefs at Portillo's look the same as they go in as they go out. There is a azou dripping down my leg. I think that if we put you in an incubator, it would be probably good for you for like six months. I feel like you have six more months of like kind of incubating left that you missed out on that we probably could if we put you in one and like we could even come to the podcast we could put our hands in those gloves that are attached to the thing and we can kind of sit there and tickle you yeah yeah and tickle you and like show you different you know I know fucking memes and funny videos and shit we can show you that stuff I need to know but I think you could just when I was a kid I think you're like not done no and I you know what it was is I came out of the womb With my umbilical cord strangling me. Really? Yeah. Whoa.

Is that true? Yeah. That's like Elliot Smith. Mm-hmm. Shit. Like you try to kill yourself instantly. Yeah, I tried to do the butterfly effect. That is fucking cool.

It's a metal. Yeah, that's actually metal. Nature. I came out with a gun in my mouth. Yeah. Yeah. I came out with Wolverine claws. I came out in a Gundam.

Yeah. Damn. My mom was into Gundy. Can you imagine coming out in a Gundam or mechanical suit? Imagine coming out to a gunned. that's homophobic and he immediately stabs you with his big sword. That'd be shit.

They should do a, you have the baby, the baby goes down a slide right into like a mech. Into like an X, like a power loader. The baby slides up the slide type thing. And then it can walk right away. That spaghetti of shit from Evangelion that they lay in, the red goo.

The LCL. Okay. It's called LCL. I thought you were a hippie at first. Now you're a certified dork. Yep. No. He baited me first of all.

He's the one who brought up. be Evangelion, so he's pretty much just as bad as me. Did minions start as an anime? Yeah. Oh, it was actually a manga first. I don't know what that is. He baited him twice.

He knew about them. No, it was actually in Shonen Jump. Wow. Alongside Yu-Gi-o and Naruto. Oh, my God. Yeah, no, that makes sense. I guess it's a spin-off of B-Dubi, B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B. Yeah.

Yep. Yeah. There is kind of a minion in Bob, Bo-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B. There's a couple of guys There might as well Just be fucking minions There's the minion From EFucked

On my computer What are you talking about? Who's that? It doesn't matter Oh, is it? Wow, I thought we I thought we were getting robbed I thought we projected a Topa

Yeah I thought our powerful mental energy I think we did projected Topa Meditation created some kind of being That was approaching us Yeah, more like To my place Tell my plate.

What are you on it? I'm going to cut your head off. What are you talking about today? You have gone loony. You've turned into a complete loon. And you've started to affect my talking style. I don't know if that's true. Why did I say talking style?

That's what, like, you've looned me. You have looned my brain. You've got a lunaticified. I'm a fucking loon now. Thanks a lot. I'm going to be walking around the street babbling to myself. I don't know where this is. Is it because I'm a minion?

It's because everything about you, I hate everything about you. Why? Just yourself is shit. You are shit. That's not a nice thing to say to me. I need to hit this gong. Let's say a couple affirmations, too, for you. Let's have you affirm your friendship here.

I am also best friends with Jubio. It says right there on the screen. Did you make that? Nope. Interesting. That must something, my slide must have got replaced. I don't hate you. I want to bring you through a guided middle.

meditation, though. Okay. Is that okay? Let's see this. All right. Go over to my guided meditation. So as you can see, I'm like part, like, obviously the hippie aspect is coming in with my tied shirt, but then also I am a bit of a gentleman and I, uh, an aspiring alpha male,

as I think we all are, right? Definitely. So I've made a little bit of an alpha male meditation. Okay. So first, I'd like for each and every one of you to close your eyes right now. That's right. Keep them really close. Pat, your eyes are still open.

Pat, your eyes are still open. I think that's the makeup. Oh, it's the makeup. Sorry. Okay. All right. Back to the meditation. His eyes are closed.

I've confirmed it by getting close to him. I'm going to hit the gong right now. Okay. Let's begin. Wow. You're big. I'm a little bit scared to talk to you right now due to your size and your height. You have to be at least five foot nine.

Okay, I'm going to try to conquer my fears and talk to your big ass. Okay, let's begin. Do we open our eyes now? No, shh. Keep them closed. Start by taking a deep breath. Both you. Now hold that breath in.

Okay, please exhale it actually. It made you look even bigger when you took the deep breath. your chest puffed up and you looked like a superhero okay ignore the breathing stuff for now the most important part of being an alpha male is having sex but sex gets boring for giants like you too so you need a sexual bucket list right

by the way sexual bucket list is something I found from this pickup artist forum this guy says okay guys I tried compiling something like this myself and ran out of ideas I've decided to dedicate myself to the cause of being the filthiest, most debauchous person I can be. So far, let's get 100 things and see how we do. Put in a couple each. Number one, put a chili pepper inside a woman.

Number two, the perfect four way. A blonde, a brunette, a redhead. I will add more later depending how this goes down. Okay, keep your eyes closed. So that's what a sexual bucket list is. Now you guys got the idea. Okay. Start imagining your own sexual bucket list, okay?

You guys imagining? It could be anything you want, like talking to a really, really big guy while his eyes are closed. Girl with glasses. Or it could be like this one, from Immortal Grofer, a member of the MPUA forum,

firing lasers. Just before you're about to come all over her pretty little face, yell, I'm a fire in McComb shot, and proceed to blow load all over her. And his name is Immortal Grofer, and his signature is, a grofer is a close relative

of the gopher species. Is it like Grover? It's a G-R-O-P-H-E-R. Okay. Okay. Now imagine you're crossing items off of your sexual bucket list, right? You have your bucket list. You're crossing your items.

With each item, you grow larger. At first, you're merely huge. But as you cross off the items, you grow to be massive. Again, these could be anything, okay? Like this one, by RavStar. Armpit Sex, L-O-L. Now you're the size of a house, right? Then a neighborhood, then a city, then the planet.

Each item you cross off is now doubling your size until you're as big as the entire universe. You cross off the final item on your list. Get a girl to put me dick in her mouth and leave it there like a gobb stopper or some. Which is a pretty, that's a great item. I think that would be great. you no longer exist within reality reality instead exists within you and then you take your big stinky foot and you smush me with it and i get stuck between your toes and your green toe jam goes directly into my mouth it makes me sick but i'm completely helpless because of your size how big you are because is the only item on

my sexual bucket list, I double in size, but that only makes me 11 feet and five and a half inches tall. Eventually, I suffocate to death with a big smile in my face, but you don't notice because you are fucking a star. And then one more of sexual bucket list item? Oh, wait, we already did that one. From Appreciate Poon. I just notice his name. Get a girl to put me dick in her mouth and leave it there like a gobstopper or something. I put the wrong picture there at the end but you may now open your eyes I think you guys might

and your fate has now been sealed I for real? Yeah you guys should check out that forum though I found another one that was called I meant to add that one at the end but I guess I added the wrong picture but it was it was the title was peacocking with gay pride stuff question mark and apparently this guy started

like wearing a bunch of like rainbow gay pride stuff so that when girls would ask him something about it he'd be like he'd either he said that he would either pretend he was gay as a as a joke or he'd be like no I'm not gay but now

you're talking to me and then he would fucking snort their slams pretty genius you'd say like I have a gay cousin yeah that is yeah I do that is a thing that you see happen on this treat a lot is someone who's wearing gay pride clothes and then someone a girl goes up to them and goes oh are you wearing that gay pride stuff because you're gay

yeah that's a great way to get into a conversation Girls, all they want is a gay best thing. There's nothing more approachable than a guy in rainbows. Those guys end up being usually the biggest pussy hounds on earth. Oh, 100%. Guys, like, appreciate Poon. Neil Patrick Harris in Hald and Kumar just played himself. Yeah.

Is that a fact? Yep. That's how he acts in real life. No. Even though, yeah. And then he ate Amy Winehouse's dead body. No, he didn't. Look it up.

He ate her dead body. I think I heard that too. Yeah. He ate her dead body. He ate her dead body, I heard. In the movie? You're the only one who hasn't heard this at the table. Neil Patrick Harris ate Amy Winehouse's dead body.

You know what kind of an accusation that is? It's not an accusation. That's a factuization. I don't think so. That's a factoid. It's true. Did he go to prison for that? That's illegal, right?

It's a body. He was never caught. No, he was. Well, how do you guys know? He actually, he was. And he photographed it. People, he did photograph it and people were unhappy about it. They said it's disrespectful.

It's disrespectful. respectful to her legacy. This wasn't like a... It said it was a poor taste was what most people said when they saw it. But I bet it tasted amazing. It did look like it tasted good. Yeah.

How was it prepared? Do you have any idea? A cake? Baked. So it was a cake. Yeah. Yes. So it was a cake.

It was her dead body. It looked like cake, but it was it looked like her. I heard they were, that was one of the episodes of that show. They were going to do, uh, is it cake? Is it cake? Is it Amy Winehouse's dead body? That's the screw. Why? You did it on purpose, didn't you?

Yeah, you did. And then you got shocked. Yep. Did it. Yeah. My brain told me to do it, so I did it. Yep. Amy Winehouse's dead body or a cake that looks just like her dead body.

Go ahead. Take a bite. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's kind of like nowadays that when I'm meditating, I think, like, maybe it's all cake. Holy shit. And then I'm like, you know what? And you know what?

Might as well be cake, because life is a piece of cake. Have we cut into this yet? It's a gong. It's a gong. That's a gong. No. That would crumble in my fingers because it would be so moist. If it was cake.

If it was cake. Unless you made it because it would probably be dry because you're not a very skilled bake or brick cake. I love brick cake. I'm allowed to hit it from the back. No, that's negative energy. What is wrong with you? You just negated all of your energy that you put out. You just deleted your meditation here.

Man, fuck you. Julio, delete Caleb's meditation from the file. You see it from the back. Look at how negative. Suck on my fucking. That's what happens when you hit it from the back. You start saying suck my dick. I hit it from the back

You start saying Suck my prick After you hit it from the back You have to repeat this You have to repeat this one on your own I will not Hit it from the back I will only hit it from the front

And I will Refrain from hitting it from the back Oh no Okay that's sealed All right and you can't hit it from the back I won't hit it from the back any longer Because you affirmed that And that's law of attraction

Yeah, it made me firm. And that's law of attraction. Attraction or affirmation? The aforementioned law of attraction is the attractive law. The only namaste I care about is when all my friends are leaving the bar. Namaste. Namaste. Namaste.

Yeah. I'm hitting on a 50-year-old. Nah, I'm a stay. If it's for an introvert, they're going to say namaste at home. The only introvert. And the only introvert I care about is the beginning of a fucking skate video. Mm-hmm. Bob Bernquist

Introvert Bob Bernquist S. Mediq. I'm like, let me get some extravert. I want more vert. Add some bonus features. Give me some more vert. Skateboarders famously love vert and videos.

Just give me more vert. I don't remember which one is vert. To me, vert means going up. That's exactly, hey, man, you hit the nail on the head. It stands for vertical. What's the other one? Horazon? No.

Hory. Horzon. Street. That's not this. I guess the street goes like this. It's like, yeah, yeah. It's a good morning. Why don't we have streets that go like this?

Why don't we have Verte? Check out San Francisco. I bet you would love that, you're freaking hippie. So, tell me. I've been there over 10,000 times. So Patrick, so Virt is kind of like, this is, so street is like, Carlos Mncia, Dane Cook. Verte is like Maria Bamford, Paul F. Tompkins' alt comedy, right? Put it in terms I understand.

I guess Virt is more like the same. seller and then street is more like when your friend does a show at a coffee club and no one knows there's about to be a stand-up show. But Street is like the one that everybody likes. So you have it opposite, I think. I think Street is the seller. And I think Vert is straight up nervous. So Street is like a PBNJ sandwich. Because it's basic. But then Vert is like a kombucha, you know, which I'm into these days with my tie-d-d-up. eye on. And Street is like a computer.

And Vert is more like a mainframe. That's for the nerds out there. Street is like SNL, right? Mainstream comedy. No, I guess Vert. Verte would be more SNL. No, Street is SNL. No, it's Verit's all about competition.

They both start with S. Street is on SNL. Vert is Red and Link. Verte is more. Red and Link. Vert is more Rock of Love. That's not in the comedy world. No, this is the reality.

World. That's the reality world. So wait, why did you bring reality TV into this? You introduce a new thing. Because some people think reality TV is quite comedic. I mean, they can have funny stuff in it. Street is Rock of Love, and then Vert is real world, Las Vegas. Speaking of reality shows, we watched this game show on Peacock, a peacock original called Frogger.

We did watch a game show called Frogger. And it's Frogger, but with people. It's one of the Wayne's brothers. We watched the final episode. I don't remember. Damon Wayans Jr. Yeah. Oh, okay.

That's a Wayans son. Yeah, but he's also a brother. That's... Careful. He has brothers. Careful, bud. I didn't say... We watched the finale, and it was so funny because they did everybody...

It was like, okay, everybody crosses this Frogger course one by one, and there's like 12 contestants or whatever, and they do them in order. And then, like, so everyone's doing... horribly, they're all falling off of these cars and lily pads and stuff and they're doing terribly, and they're all like, this is, they had a drag queen who did it. They had a, like, she was a teacher.

There was a, like, a professional mom, they called her. And then the last one was like, this guy is a U.S. Marine. And he had, like, giant muscles that came out and just destroyed everybody. They were like, every time they go, like, are you ready, Frogger? And everyone goes like, ready? And then he came out, they went,

are you ready Frogger? And he went, who, who, and then he just took off. Yeah, and he was, like, on the wrong game show, until the last level, and he, like, overjumped something and fell off. He lost to a circus performance. He lost to a circus freak. Fire. Isn't that fucked up, man? That's awesome.

It's just so funny to me to have 12 froggers, and then all of them be, like, this guy, his thing is that he has long legs. That's what they, there was one guy who had long legs, and they kept just calling him long legs. String bean. Yeah. And then this guy was a little. That's what I would call him the rock. Yeah. He was like a huge, dude.

I'd call him the rock. I'd call that one guy with the long leg string bean, and I'd call that other guy the rock. You should be a host of Frogger. Yeah? You should be a game show host. I could. You could do that.

Professional mom, though. How do you get that gig? You would be so good. Oh, yeah, maybe. Maybe on Indeed. You would be so good on wipeout, but as a contestant, I mean, not as a guy. Yeah, I'd get out for round one. You should be a guy on wipeout that they let compete every episode because they know,

You're just going to be entertaining every time. You bring the funny. You should put me on MNC. Most extreme challenge. You're like the, you like warm up the crowd. I'd love to be on MXC. I think they would, I think I would compete very well. I think you'd be better on Wipeout. You could do a very funny fall off the big bouncing balls.

Yeah, I'll tell you what. You shouldn't go on MXC in that costume. Yeah, that would be. But let's move on to my guided meditation. Go ahead. All right. Julio, let's go to the next slide here. Can I have the clicker?

Yes, you can have the clicker. And also, if you wouldn't mind ringing the gun for me, one time, one time. So this is, I have two meditations I've prepared. These are, I found these both online. Oh, so you picked up somebody's fucking slack. Oh, yeah. God's. God told me to pick two today.

You pick two. Okay, Panera bread. Oh, my God. We should go to Panera bread after this. As a hippie, Panera bread is probably my favorite fucking place in the world. Yeah. It's organic bread business lunch after? I'm down.

All right, here. Okay, guys. Let's go. Guided meditation. Number one. Step one. Close your eyes and take a few slow, deep breaths

and allow your mind to clear. Take a moment to go inside yourself and totally relax. By the way, sorry to interrupt. I would like to say if you're listening at home, you should be closing your eyes. If you're driving or if you're at work. Just close your eyes right now.

You can do it. Just say you're blinking a long time if anyone gets me. My eyes are closed, I'm totally right. So you're having a seizure. Get ready for step two, y'all. Step two. After a few minutes, which are going to skip that, we're just going to go straight to it.

Imagine a plate full of the most putrid rotting fish, maggots, or anything similar that is completely repulsive to you. So what are you guys imagining? Anything revolting to you. Come on, just tell what's repulsive to you guys. Throw it out. What are you picturing here? Lettice and tomato.

What about you, Pat? Yeah, I was picturing like a bunch of shrimp. Lettis, just lettuce and tomato from just top of a sandwich. I have to let it off. Create a strong picture in your mind's eye and connect it with the revolting smell of the fish. Or the lettuce and tomato. Oh, God, the lettuce and tomatoes. Hold back from gagging, but make this image very real.

I picked my favorite food, though. I just hold, specifically said completely repulsive to you, so you're ruining the meditation. Yeah, okay. restart. Not content to ruin your own meditation, you have to ruin mine. Now let's move to step three, guys. Step three. Now, focus on the chocolate that you would like to eradicate from your diet and mix it up with the rotting fish. Imagine the putrid fish inside a glass of biscuits giving off a disgusting smell. Be creative with this part of the technique. The more vivid you can make this image, the more powerful it will be. After you have fully absorbed the image,

allow your mind to become blank. Take a few slow breaths, slowly count to three, and open your eyes. So what I've done here is against you guys as will, you will no longer be able to eat chocolate. I can't eat chocolate right now. You have been completely,

if you try to eat chocolate at all, you will throw up. Everybody who's listening to this right now and follow those instructions will no longer be able to ever eat chocolate again. I already can't eat chocolate. My teeth are broken. And that seals it.

Now you sealed it. What are you saying about me and Pat's weights that you think that we shouldn't be in chocolate anymore? It's about the thousands of people listening to this. Thousands of fatties. All of their weights? I just have a feeling they've been eating a little too much chocolate. How about this? Put down the chocolate bar.

Pick up the fucking handgun and put it in your mouth instead and kill yourself. Pick up the put down the chocolate bar. Pick up the protein shake. Yep. And throw it at a leftoid somewhere on the street is protesting. We don't like leftoid. We're rightoid. We're basically right-wing hippies.

Yep. So it's a very common kind of person. But if anyone out there is suffering from chocolate addiction, congratulations. I've cured you. If anyone out there is not suffering from this, I'm sorry. But sometimes you have to play the cards you're given. You're free of chocolate forever. You know a lot of rehabs won't treat chocaholism?

I've heard that. I've tried. Because it just doesn't make any sense. I was really. I tried to go in for take fives. Really? I was really glad to find this guided meditation for curing chocolate addiction because there was one guided meditation that's kind of my white whale, my Holy Grill. You can get the script on this website, but it costs $15, and I came so close to downloading this PDF for $15.

That's $15. Yeah, but it's a business right off. I should have done it, but I didn't. But it was a, it was a... Hey, when's your birthday? Well, here's the other thing. July 4th. Here's the other thing is that you could also order the MP3 version.

version of it, and the MP3 version was like 40 minutes long, so I was like But the script that I wanted, the thing that cost $15 was a hypnosis script that cures addiction to music. I need that. I am actually addicted to music.

I have so many songs that are stuck in my head. I'm good, yeah, I'm feeling all right, and baby, I'm going to have the best freaking night of my life. And wherever it takes, yeah, I'm down for the ride, baby, don't you know, I'm good? Yeah, I'm feeling all right. See, I'm a music addict and I need fucking hell.

Are you a Rexar? I'm a Rex. I'm a Reptar. Rexar? I'm a Rexar. A big, Bebe, Rexa fan. Bebe, Rexa. You have to be. She's the most talented musician since fucking Steve Martin.

Yeah. Yeah, King Tut. She's, I was addicted to that song. Me too. She's married to Tekawatiti. What'd you say it like that? Tecoa-Watiti. You can't use the Wisdom Tooth as an excuse for that one.

What about that? What about what I said? Teco Wittiti. Takawititi. What's about, what's weird about that? Not a good way to pronounce that name. How is that not a good way to pronounce his name? I guess not bad.

It's not his name. His name is Tiko Wittiti. Why he's saying it like that? Say it like what. All I'm saying is Taka Wittiti. Taiko Wattiti. It's not being pronounced weird. It is.

You're listening on headphones right now. It probably sounds weird or? It doesn't. I don't know what's going on today. Take it whattiti. Okay, I'll say it again Taiko Wittiti Okay, it's the same

Actually on both Yeah? Okay Both sounds bad I think it might be a problem with you guys Maybe we need a meditation to clean your ears I'd like to see what that guy does in the shadows Tyco Wattiti Yeah, I bet he's fucking raping a kid

Ragnarok Yep That would be my personal Ragnarok Is if they ever caught Tycoa Titi doing anything like that He just seems like that kind of guy You know what I did see him in recently What's that? Music video Jeremy Renner Main Attraction

He's in that? Oh, he is in that You know we should have seen that coming from Tycho Wattiti Because didn't you make that that movie with Thor That was called Thor Love and Under Yes, love and under 18 Wasn't that the name of the movie? It was like the if and if I did it

On the cover of the OJ book It was just really, really small Oh, it's like a Marvel What If? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Oh, he was doing one of those. Yeah.

Great. What kind of colors do you guys like? I like yellow. Yeah, for some reason. I also like blue. Yeah, I like red and blue and yellow. And pink and green. Patrick's taking the Justin Royal in news pretty bad.

He's dressed up like one of his famous characters. Yep, dressed up exactly like Morty. Yep. Yeah. Yep. No, one of his new characters. What's his new character? Oh, never mind.

Somebody posted a clip of Justin Royland's, like, old podcast or something, and it's so funny to me that he's, Justin Rowland, he's a voice actor, but that's also just his voice. Yeah. So he's going to be in court, and he's just going to sound like that. It's not like a thing he turns off and on. That's just, like, literally exactly what he sounds like. He just is, his voice. do you see that photo that like people were trying to it was like all three voice actors from the show fish hooks have all gone down it was like Justin Rowland what he did Kyle Massey sent pictures to an underage girl and then the third one is like this woman has done cocaine

that's cool yeah the best line in all of those texts that Justin Rowland sent was I'm Atlanta drunk yeah I love that what does that mean I don't know I just thought It was so funny. It's really good. I'm Atlanta drunk right now. All right. I have one more meditation to share with you guys. Let me see. She that.

Yeah. We're going to she it. So let's go ahead and get this up here over here. Okay, perfect. I'm going to go ahead and gong us in. Wow. It really is cleansing. All right.

Let's begin. I've completely forgotten about fucking Justin Rillen saying, jail bait now. We need to cleanse him from our minds. That's right. We're beyond him. Okay, do I need a gong again?

Somebody I know said that every one of his texts sounds like he's talking like stimpy. Or Wren from red and stimpy. A little bit. I am Atlanta drunk. So I haven't been able to, I read that this morning.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Yeah, that's an accusation. Yeah, more like Justin roiling massive black smoke and sin emanating from hell. That's right. like rolling up to the prison. Yeah, we're going to do another cleanse. We're going to get rid of this brimstone.

Yeah, let's get rid of Justin Rowland. He's gone. And he's been disappeared. He's gone. He vanished. All right. Let's begin. Okay.

Close your eyes. I want you to take a deep breath in and hold it for 10 counts. Justin Rowland's getting 10 counts. Sorry. And if you guys want to look at the beautiful visuals of this one, I don't mind if you keep your eyes open. but I know we've been doing a lot of eyes closed. Can I count while I'm doing my deep breath?

You should be counting right now. One, two. Okay. All right, I'm going to move on without you. We'll let you finish that one. And then slowly release the air. I only got to five. Feel your heartbeat slow down to a nice, steady rhythm.

But we're not going to zero, folks. Keep the heart's beaten. Just slow it down. Yeah, that's perfect. That's nice. Keep breathing deeply, and with every inhale, I want you to gather up some of the tension and stress in your body.

gather it in your lungs, and then exhale it out. And this one, this is a meditation I found on YouTube. I took the transcript. I abridged it a little bit because it was an hour long. We're going to keep moving on here. Feel your body, relax, and unwind. And look at this pretty picture. Wouldn't you like to be sitting here on those rocks?

I wish I was an unwinded image. Wouldn't you want to climb up that pipe? Yeah, and I wish I was one inch big. Yeah. Well, that's big. Probably big. Yeah. And as the silence in your mind grows,

as the emptiness expands and consumes you, you feel your mind transforming into a total abyss, deep, dark, empty, bottomless. The abyss lets you realize that my words are your truth. My words are your reality. Inside your mind there is a monster, a beast, an entity of darkest desires, urges, and hungering lusts. And these are the beasts I'm supposed to be picturing.

visuals or no. There's two goose or geese rather. They're just gooses, folks. Okay. Only the most powerful, only the gods and alphas among us can be strong enough to let that beast out and use it to their advantage. It'll make you unrecognizable.

Good, bad, it doesn't matter. You'll be powerful, alpha, dominant without equal, surpassing gods and becoming monstrous. I can feel myself growing a tentacle. Everyone else's but pray are slaves in the eyes of a monster You know you want it I don't want a slave You know you want it

I do not want my words are your reality You are in an abyss in your mind Don't okay Here's what I'll say You know you want it I'm in a hypnotic state I want I think that everyone is a slave

But I don't like it You want prey I like prey and slaves I don't want slaves stop trying to make me say You know you want it I'm going to use my strength You just said I want slaves I did not say I want

Slaves. No, you can't. You just said it again. Wait, doesn't that end your whole meditation? No, wait, it just seals it. I'm going to hit it from the back one time. You're knocked on the candle. I don't want slaves.

I want the opposite of a slave. I want to be a white slave. Okay, we're unsealing that. We're hanging from the back to unseal it. And we're moving forward. Thick wide bull's neck leading down to traps that rise up like mountains and dark iron. Strong muscle, broad shoulders that's strain against the confines of its cage,

dealt swelling and cut like boulders into its flesh. The skin's stretching and breaking over them, indicating just how much this monstrous being has grown during the time you've kept it locked away. Do I have that in me? And look at these beautiful visuals behind these words. Well, I can't see you fucking

jack, shit, asshole. I can see it. You're taunting me with visuals. You know I love visuals. Arms rippling with muscular fibers, flexing at the slightest movement, biceps. Big peaked gargantuan globes. of muscles with pulsating veins, coursing with that thick black corruption.

Tricepts that flare out from the arm, each striation and muscular fiber apparent under the skin, pure mass and muscle and grotesque size. Nice, I'm seeing it all. You're seeing it all. You're seeing it all. I'm seeing it all. You want the slaves.

All of the body stuff in. The slaves are not existent, though. You know you want it. Slavery doesn't exist. The monster almost seems to flex for you. you, flaunting its perfection. He's doing it for me, but he's not my slid. Giving you a show, enticing

you more and more. Look at its forearms, laced with layers of vascular, tight muscle. You're visualizing this, Patrick? Yeah, I'm trying to. Yeah, so just keep pace here. Let's visualize this together. You can't take your eyes off it.

They continue to track down to those massive legs, sculpted like pillars of marble, bulging and bursting with tightly packed musculature massive quads and calves and an ass as hard and firm as a globe of iron

and his asshole built and tightly coiled with that power to crush adversaries with his ass with his ass he crushes you want the prey but this is inside me want the slaves no not the slaves get rid of slaves people unwilling to embrace the monster inside of them worship and beg

for mercy before it the whole body of a monster is built for power. I don't like this meditation anymore. I want to skip. All my slaves, if I have them, are worth something. Is not the... Let him become you and let yourself become him.

Let him take control and take control of that monstrous form yourself. Take control. I'm getting control, but I'm controlling the opposite... Or the slaves are not under my control. Breathe him in, drink him down. There's no slaves. Feel him in your heartbeat, your pulse, the slow building arousal, until everything just breaks and you are now

a monster okay wow that was I'm still kind of in the world of this right now I will say yeah so don't seal it until I'd like to really quickly before you seal it say I have no desire I never have I never will have a desire to get a slave in my entire life

I'm going to say ditto go ahead and seal that monster all right so that was actually again, 90% really fucking good. Really, really good stuff. Thank you. 90% of it was really good. And I put this meme together for us.

That's a good one. That is a good meme. I did that on image flip. I'll tell you something. And I'll let me go ahead and seal that meme really good. Yeah, go ahead and seal that. Very few things have had more of an impact. Get it?

I get it. Then this episode today basically kind of entering a new realm. I mean, yeah, an impact not on us, I want to be clear, but on the world. This is like let it be. Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be. That song, there will be an answer, let it be, let it be. Let's get a harmony in. Local harmony so that we have, I think as you just say, let it be.

Let it be. Let it be. Let it be. Let it be. Let it be. Let it be. Let it be. And that represents the harmony that's now in the world.

There's so much harmony in the world now. And Patrick, I would like to quickly, you know that minions are evil. They're evil. They serve canonically evil. Darkmasters. Look, I read the schedule wrong. That's all I can say. Okay.

All right. Just don't let it happen again, I guess. And they did not serve, and the minions, we've talked about this multiple times. The minions served Hitler. It's a funnier die exclusive. The story was broken to funny or die. Oh, my God. If it's funny or die, you know it's got to be true.

All right. Peace be with you. Yep. And the shareholder meeting this month will be on the 27th, I believe. Oh, yeah, on the 27th. And I'm in Rosemont, Illinois on the weekend of this upcoming weekend. This weekend with Adam Friedland, I'm opening for him. On the 30s.

Crazy Zanies. On the 31st, I will be performing. at singles motel hosted by Nick Nanny Claro Cain and Weston Haney Eric Rayhill

is going to be there in a break on on February shut the fuck up shut up let me plug my thing that's a show why wouldn't I plug that?

On February 14th I will be performing in my living room I will be doing I love you for my girlfriend on I'll stand on the couch Can we get Can we hear the song?

It was a song I love you I love you I love you Happy Valentine's Day. I decided I'll be there, too. On the 31st at Littlefield, if you're in Brooklyn, if you're in 500.

If you're in Rosemont, Illinois, you don't. Bye. You know what I'm going to be.