Podcast About List - Ep. 227 - Held Hostage By A Crazy ft. Brian Fiddyment

Episode Date: February 1, 2023

This week we got visited by a crazy abductor who just wanted the best for the show, god bless him. Watch the video for this episode youtube.com/@PodcastAboutList Buy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

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...their... ...their... ...their... ...and... So, guys, you said you wanted the first thing today, let me get this all right this all. So, guys. You said you wanted the first thing today. Go ahead. First thing. I have first thing. Sorry, let me get this all.

Your first thing is, oh, I'm going to be tangled up in the first thing. thing. Damn. Foot locker. Cameron's a sneaker head now. What type of these? Adidas. Ow!

Ow! Don't take them off. Dude. Why did you try to attack me? Because you heard me and I yelled Al and you kept going. Do you see what happens when you get the first thing in the episode? No, he did second thing bad. Second thing was bad.

First thing was good. You did the first thing and you introduced a toy that he could play with. That's not a toy. It's not a toy. Your foot is my toy. It's not. Your foot is my toy that I use. No, it's not.

Sorry, would you, if there was a toy. a parrot or a parakeet sitting in a cage that had vicious lips, would you stick your finger in that cage? I would. That's what he did. He's that. You stuck your finger in the cage. No, he stuck his finger into my cage and I bit him with my foot.

You put your foot directly. I pecked him into my foot. You attacked me. This is a cage. No, no, no, no. Something's going to happen to you bad. Because if I'm the one who attacked him, and that's what's going to get your retribution. You don't attack the parakeet, the parakeet attacks you. He's going to get retribution. He's going to get retribution. He's rewing this already. I'm not ruining it.

You would, I was going to start with my, with my new parody. Go first thing. Okay, here's my parody. You had a song, it's like, pretty woman. Okay. It's not a boulder. Squidward, it's a rock. It's not a boulder.

That is how you do first thing. It's a rock. It's not a boulder. It has the second part. Ready? That pizza makes me smile. The pioneers rode these for miles. Not once did he put his fingers near me?

Until that point. I was scared. But that's pretty good. If I genuinely did hurt you and you weren't doing a joke, I'm very sorry. It hurt me. That's why I yelled ow. I thought you were doing a joke. I don't have flexible legs. That's true.

I have very inflexible legs. I actually have a problem with my legs. I think you have maybe all of your bones fused. It's my muscles. That's the problem more than the bones. My bones are probably strong. You don't even never ask me for a massage. You don't even never ask him for that.

I don't even like massages because they injure me. I really am scared of getting a massage. easy person or you. Nobody likes massage. I like a massage. I've had to be in full traction from a massage before. I would never have a hospital. I like a massage from the biggest woman ever.

No, you don't. She steps on my back and I go. I would never get a massage. It's an involuntary noise. It's a slippery slope. I was talking to somebody about this the other day. I would never get a massage for the same reason. I would never join the military.

You never get like a massage. Wait, okay. No, I want any to hear what the same reason is. Okay. So I would never join the military because I would be afraid that I would be a perfect killing machine. And I would never. join, or I would never get a massage, because I would be afraid that I'd be too, just...

You'd be too good at killing masseuses. No, no, I think I'd be too, like, seductive. I think whoever it was, they couldn't help themselves, and they'd end up molesting me. I don't think so. You know, okay, here, so... It does suck when you get, like, the massage, and they slip their thumb in your butthole. That's never... I've never had one. I've never had a massage.

So, I've been watching a lot of curb your enthusiasm, so I've been kind of recently seeing etiquette through a different lens. And I'm wondering what would happen in a scenario, when you go to the masseuse and they say undressed to your level of comfort and I'm like this. Yeah.

Dun dun dun dun Yeah. Well that wouldn't be that would probably be the more like the like kind of low and then I take all I take

I take off everything I leave on undies and socks yeah the masseuse comes back and I'm on the table did you leave your socks on bum bum bum

da da da da da man I hate that I'm in a curber enthusiasm real life scenario. I think a lot of... He was like, stop, stop! I haven't seen most of the series. Basically, half of the scenarios are he's racist to somebody.

Basically, half of the scenarios are he's racist to somebody. I was going to say, I haven't seen, I've seen maybe the first season of that show. I was going to say, I get into a lot of those scenarios in my real life, probably because of my level of intelligence. And your racial... The racial remarks that you make. They're not on purpose. Brad Paisley wrote a song about me. Brad Paisley wrote a song about me.

Hunky-tonk lady with big ass. You're not There's no part of you That's what the song's called Brad Paisley is that type of country singer I'm hung William hung Yeah William hung

I didn't know that about you I'm hung like a horse And that's the reason why I can't go to the masseuse Is that you know what I would just hate dude I've seen you know you were a liar I've seen your penis I'm hung like a fucking horse You're hung like a church mouse

What you are Why are you look at a nice penis I'm hung like a church bell Gay pedopholes Well, a mice is a child. A mice is not a child. A mouse is a baby. No.

No, it's not like veal and like that cow. What's a mouse's baby called? A mouse's baby. Well, what? A cub. Oh. That mouse bone is going to be. Perfect example.

Yeah. It's a type of insensitive shit he says. Oh, he can't say the C word on YouTube, man. Walking around saying the C word. Yeah. Well, we're 90 minutes in, right? 90 minutes in, right? Ninety seconds.

What the fuck is wrong with you, man? We should not have eaten that subway. No, we had subway. We got worms now. You claim that there was worms in all subway food. What's the kind of bread called that I got? Italian herbs and spices? That's what I thought.

And cheese, I mean? Herbs and cheese? Yeah. Okay. Because I always order, I say that. The one with herbs. Was yours crunchy at the end? At the end?

Like the part where the low... The crunchy part of the... Part where the loaf starts, because mine was crunchy. I think they over toasted it. Oh. You know what's weird is Subway leaves much to be desired. I don't know if anyone else has... What?

What the fuck? What the fuck is that, man? Hello? Hello? Hey. Anyone there? Jubio, did you do that? What the fuck?

Hey! Hey! You get up, you, you... Hey! You awake it! You wake at! Welcome to your fucking nightmare Why did you tape our...

Welcome to your fucking nightmare! Don't move a muscle! You can all take them off. He moved. You can all take them off now. Take those masks off. Why did you tape our mouths shut if we're doing a podcast? It doesn't make that much sense.

I lost two mustache hairs on this piece of tape, man. I got a little mustache. This is not helpful. How did you lose more than me? Yeah. Because your hands off, let me put your hands off right down. We have to, you're talking to the microphone. Okay, put one hand down.

But now it looks like we're asking a question. I need to switch the levels. Can I put both? Can I? Everyone, just be nice to me. Don't move, don't be crazy, okay? Okay, all right. I've been.

I know this is a crazy situation, but sometimes a crazy guy, sometimes a normal guy has to do crazy things. Okay. Listen, you seem like a good guy, okay? I am a good guy. I think, can I check your microphone? I think your mic is... What's it going?

You seem like a very, very nice guy. What's going on? You seem like a normal guy. The microphone's not working? Chuck. Oh, my God. Is it working now? I fixed it for our captain.

Good. Yeah, thank you so much, you son of my bitch. I already have Stockholm syndrome, guys. You're already on his best friend. Maybe now I'll pop one less cap in me. You have to put your hand up My hand is up Everyone keep one hand up

Unless you're moving the levels I got one hand up I don't touch the level that's his job Listen You seem like a nice guy okay I just what I mean We'll give you whatever you want Alright I just want to get out here

With my life You know what I want What do you want? You know what I want What do you want We need that we do a goddamn mad lips episode again Why why don't you do the mad lips anymore I don't know

It was like a three It was just a thing that we were doing Those were my favorite episodes. We found the madlips outside. Wait, I thought nobody likes the Madlibs episodes. No, I like the Madlips episodes.

I like the Madlips episodes. You son of my bitch. Did you? It's not that big of a deal. We'll do some Madlips. Yeah, that's a... Okay. Oh, yeah, you're going to do some madlips.

Oh, my God. You're going to do some bad lips. Why does this look like that? I don't have had enough with the Dungeons and Dragons episodes. We're having Felix. No, no, no, now it's not for a Madlids episode with Brian. Is that your name? That's, hi, hi.

Hi, my God. Hi, Brian. Hey, Brian. Hey, nice to meet you, Brian. It's been a crazy day. Hi. It's nice to meet you. Hey, hey, hey.

Hey! That was a nice try, but he's crazy. That was a nice try, you son of a bitch. I didn't plan that with him. He actually did that on his own. Brian, I'd just like to make it pretty clear that I didn't try to get the gun or distract you. They told me to do that. I didn't tell you to do that.

They told me to do that. They told me to my headphones. I didn't say anything. Sounds like you told him to do it. because he seems pretty sure. He seemed pretty sure you did it. I didn't do shit to him. I actually...

Well, now it's time for you all to dance. Bang, bang, dancing. Whoa. I'm going to shoot your feet to dance. You're pointing at your own feet. Oh, ow, wow. I was dancing, too. You need to calm down.

All right. Calm down, Brian. You're being a little bit crazy. Oh, Jesus. It's been a crazy week for me. Let me tell you that. I can imagine. What's going on with you? I was trying to get on comedy, bang, bang.

I was trying to audition for comedy, bang, bang, bang. I went to a room. A guy, he looked just like Reggie Watts, I swear. Guy looked just like Paul Shear. He looked like both. He looked like two different guys. Oh, okay. Don't just try and point out any logical fallacies in what I say.

Okay. Okay. All right. I'm sorry. I'm just not in this real life. I'm not just messing around no more, okay? I can tell you're very serious. Now we're going to do some mad lips.

Okay. Okay. This is going to be a good time. You understand me? No editing tricks. Don't, don't you shut off my audio. Don't you try and make me look short? Don't you try and make me look like a tool?

We're not going to try and make you look short. We're not doing anything. Look, how's this? How's this? Yeah, we'll all get low. Everyone get low. Okay. All right.

I got a small torso. I got a one foot torso. You understand me? People can't see it home, but his legs go basically all the way to here. My legs are cramped up underneath this table, but that's neither here nor there. It's not here or there, guys. Thank you. Okay.

Aaron, you're my favorite one so far. That's two less caps in your ass. Okay, two less. I don't know. Are we getting to zero caps, or is it just... Now it's not for the Madlib. Okay. This Madlib is called Brian's birthday.

Is it your birthday? That's neither here nor there. Okay. That's also not here nor there. All right. All right. We'll do the Madlib. We'll just do a Madlib.

We don't have the gun in my face and the legs. comfortable doing that yet. And stop playing footsie with me. I'm not comfortable to stopping that either. All right. I'm very nervous. Okay. And it makes me feel comfortable.

I'm stimming with your feet. Okay. All right. So don't mind if I, you know, play around a little. Okay, anyway, Friday's birthday is the name of the Adlim. And I just found this one, too. I just found this one, too, like you guys are saying. Uh-huh.

Okay. You found this on the street? I found this on the street just like you guys are saying. That's why there's dirt on it? That, that, uh, uh-huh, yeah. Uh-huh. Okay. That's why there's dirt.

And that's why there's dirt on it. We believe it's dirt. I believe it. We believe it. That's why there's dirt on it and the smell is dirt too. Okay. It smells, it smells, oh yeah. All I smell is dirt.

It's dirt. It sounds like the garden section at Home Depot. You at home? You listening? Don't shoot into the microphone. Don't. Everybody listening at home, hands up right now. You can shoot us, but.

Don't shoot our listeners. Don't you dare try to shoot our listeners. Let's just go with the mad lip. Let's do the lip. All right, all right. This is a mad libel I found. I didn't make. This is a mad guy who's making us do this.

Jesus Christ. I'm sorry. He said that. Our voices, it's pretty easy to confuse our voices. We have confusable voices. Yeah. That's why we did video. I do have a hard time telling white men's voices apart.

Oh. Well, thank you for assuming I'm white. We've got some results coming in for these two. That's not true. Our 23 and me is in the mail. So watch out Yeah, so we'll update you on that later I guess I could kind of see it for him

You know, I can kind of see it Yeah Yeah Maybe like a Hawaiian vibe Yeah Okay, continue So I don't know the matter Okay, okay, okay

Brian's birthday There was a big party at Here's our first blank A guy named Brian Do we have any suggestions For a guy named Brian? Big party at a guy named Brian's house Brian Brian you Brian oh yeah Brian that's pretty good that's kind of funny yeah okay

Brian oh okay there was a big party at Brian's house okay okay good start so far opposite of nobody was invited so opposite of nobody is our first uh have one million people everybody everybody everybody everybody I like everybody a little more than one million because okay All right, okay. So, fully graphite gun. Everybody was invited. There was a big party at Brian's house.

Everybody was invited. And they all showed up, except for the guys from podcast in the room with three members. Can we think of a podcast in the room with three members? I could think of a podcast room with four members. Maybe if you put that gun down. Yeah, it's not trying to murder me up in answer to the first.

Uh, podcast about list That's a good one That's pretty funny Okay, I'm fine I'm making me laugh a little bit That's funny Everybody was showed up Except for the guys from podcast about list

Even though I know they saw my Word for email Do we have a word for email? Email Email, interesting And you guys have emails, right? It goes straight to your phone, doesn't it? Mine, I have

have my notifications actually turned off. I use it on my computer most. It's easier to type that way. Yeah, I don't have an email. Sometimes we don't get emails if they come through. My computer. Or we have like a spam filter. Yeah.

Yeah. And he looks at most of our emails and we goes through him. Where is he? Yeah, where is he? He must have. He must have skedaddle. Okay.

I guess we're alone on this one. I'll kill him. I don't think that, yeah, I don't think that, yeah. I don't think that, yeah. Yeah. Right. I think that's a big problem there. Right.

Yeah. Uh-huh. So, even though I know that they saw my email. Yeah, yeah, okay. So this is good so far. Uh-huh. So, name for a birthday boy went to go get them. So name for a birthday boy.

Can we think of a name for a birthday boy? I hate to say it, but Brian again. It's a Brian. Brian could be the birthday boy. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's a really good answer for the Melville. Is that funny?

That's funny. Brian. So, Brian would to go get them so that they could come to the fun gathering with celebrities. Can we think of a name for a fun gathering with celebrity? The Oscars. Gala. Gala. Gala.

Yes. Okay. Gala. Gala. Yes. We'll do. Gala was funny. Yes.

Birthday gala. Brian's birthday gala. Brian, would to get them. so that they could come to Brian's birthday gala. First, he went to the store where you buy hardware. Anyone know, can think of a store where you buy hardware? A's hardware store. Hardware store.

Ace Hardware store. I'll just combine them. Ace Hardware store. Okay. All right. This is coming along good. I can't wait to hear the finish. Yeah.

Product. It's going to be funny. And bought some things I could hit your head with. What can I hit your head with? Pillows. Pillows? Yes. The pillows, I'm hoping.

I'm trying to think of something a little harder. A pillow filled with a brick? I guess a hammer. Hammer. And they have those in hardware stores. I hate to say. It's really good. No, that's a good answer.

That's a good answer. We don't want to do paintbrush or... I wish I'd come up with something else, but I... Spray paint, sandpaper. And Brian said, oh, these will be great to use for... What's a word for hitting you on the head if you disobey? We're giving you on the head. Great for...

Okay, they, uh, punish, no, we're not going to, not punishment, right? Retribute, we don't, no, I don't, I don't, I, maybe a reward, reward, reward, reward, reward, reward. I like punish. We'll go with punish here. We have, we had to try, punish you in the head, if you disobey. I think reward is maybe funnier, and then they would say, and then they would say, what's an exclamation ending in, ouch? Yowch, couch, like, when you, when you're walking down the street, you see a new couch Used couch

Secondhand couch or just out Free couch that's kind of funny Green couch I like green couch that's kind of funny I'm going to go with green couch Okay This is going to be real funny When it's done

Then Brian waited at A restaurant where you can have it your way What is a restaurant you can have it your way I mean most restaurants I think you can kind of have it your way Right I've been told no one or two times But for the most part, sometimes there's no substitution. I couldn't have a whopper in my way at most restaurants.

Okay, well, then, I guess if you're saying, you're kind of leading us a little bit. I'm going to be honest, it's not really how Madlips is supposed to work. And you feel like you're acting a little bit kind of like, like, uh, aloof when you're really, you know that I'm going to say Burger King. Burger King. Burger King, that is such a good, Caleb. Yeah, yeah, Patrick. I'm like a camera and Caleb so far. You're pissing me off.

Oh, Pat. You're pissing me off a little bit. I think of a good answer. Well, Pat, you take the next one, Pat. You think of a good one for the next one? Yeah, come on. All right, restaurant, Burger King. Until it was time to synonym for capture or abduct.

Abuse. Abuse. Abuse is. No, I would say. Intrap. Kidnap. Kidnap. That's good one.

Kidnap. Kidnap is another point for me, Brian. And trap. He's not very smart. You should have seen him when we did Madeline. the first time, he's a fucking idiot. I did, and I loved it. I loved it.

I loved it to every single one of my friends. I forgot that you told me like that. Well, thank you for getting the message. I said, sign up for the Patreon right now and watch the Patreon MadLibs. And then I followed up. I said, did you do it? And if they didn't, I said, why not? And if they didn't say, if they stopped responding, then I'd go, please, please don't

ignore me. And then if they continue to ignore me, I go, what, did I do something to piss you off? I'm so sorry. And then if they kept ignoring me after that, then we'd end up in a very similar situation to this, where I kidnapped them. Okay, well, we're going to madly. Well, thank you for all the fans at home. You could maybe learn something. This is a super fan.

What's a nicer word for victims? Friends. Niceer word for victim, friends. Hostage. Hostage is a little nicer victim. Guess. You haven't heard of host. Guest.

Guest. Guest. I like that. Guest. And then they all hung out together, and they had a thing you have when it's a good time. Fun. Boner.

Oh, fun. Boner. Fun. You want to get a boner? I like you guys, but not like that. Yeah, that'd be gay. Yeah. You're fitting right in.

Yeah. You fit in. Oh, man. Oh, no. Oh, is that the, uh, okay, I think we missed our chance. Miss your chance! You had me down, didn't you? Uh, we were pretty close.

You got me slipping. Listen, I'll admit it. I have a six second reaction time, okay? I've had it tested by the doctor. Yeah, I kind of went like this a little bit. I was about to. That's why you can trust me. I was about, and, uh, oh, see, it's just so late my reaction time.

I just get scared part way through. Oh, not so fast that time, huh? Yeah, I was about to. not so far. You were lucky. I pressed the button again on accident. Yeah. Won't happen again, though. I'm sure it won't. Definitely won't happen again. So, is there, is there anything else in this matter? Okay, yeah. And then Brian, Patrick, and Caleb did something that should have been done a long time ago. A podcast. They did a podcast together. Why is it Brian, Patrick, and Caleb did something that was supposed to be done a long time ago. Wait.

Wait, something that's supposed to be done a long time ago. Wait. Wait, something that's supposed to be done a long time ago, but you didn't include Cameron. Are you saying you... Patrick and Caleb went back to Brian's... What's an awesome thing? Party. The party that I was having earlier.

Brian's birthday gala. Brian's birthday gala. Brian's birthday gala. And recorded an episode called Name of the greatest podcast episode ever. I guess it would be the new Madlibs episode the first of the rest.

That's what you think. So the episode is called The New Madlibs episode, the first of the rest. the rest, which is all Madlips. That's the episode name. Featring Brian Fiddy. Featuring Brian, that's your last name?

Full last name. That's my, no! That's neither here nor there. Okay. So why is camera... Oh, my fucking reaction. Guys, I want to grab it, but I have to do the levels. It's terrible.

I really... Oh my God. You got this close. Oh, I was scared. You had me scared for a second. You should see me at the NFL Combine. It was pretty bad. It was really, really bad.

The word for ending. Ending. The end, I guess. The finale. The finale. The finale. Finale. Finale.

All right. So, let's read what we have. Okay, so that was the Mad lives, right? Wow. Excuse me, we got read what we have. What? We got read what we have. Okay.

So what do we have? There was a big party at Bryant's house. Everybody was invited, and they all showed up, except for the guys from Potabout List, even though I know they saw my email. So Brian, the birthday boy, went to go get them so that they could come to the Brian's birthday gala. First, he went to the hardware store and bought some hammers.

And Brian said, oh, these will be great to use for hitting, punishing, and then they would say, a green couch. Oh. Then Brian waited at Burger King until it was time to kidnap his guests. I remember that.

And then they all hung out together and they had fun. And Brian, Patrick, and Caleb did a podcast. Brian Patrick and Caleb went back to Brian's birthday gala and recorded an episode called the ad blibs episode, which is now the first one of the rest of all of them,

which they're now adlips. The end. Uh-huh. Well, that's a very nice story. So that was pretty, that was good, right?

That's what you wanted for your birthday. It was a whole MADlib. Not so fast! Okay. Not so fast! Wait a second! That is a scary. I don't want to hear that from you.

Okay. That's enough. Jesus Christ. That is an intimidating. We rent this place. We can't. We don't own this table either. This table is not ours.

We'll rent this table month to month. You must have seen no Gats allowed sign on the front door. There's another Madlib? What the hell is it? No, I've got a list. Oh, good. Oh, he's got a list. I've got a list.

You find this one on the street, too? I found the list outside. I found the list outside. Were these in your back pocket? What do they look like this, man? I found the list also outside. And it's got dirt on it. I found the, but it also just happened to be all the demands that I have.

All right. I found it. Okay. All right. I can tell. Yeah. It's dirt. It looks dirt.

And you take a smell. What's that smell? I already smelled it. It's clearly dirt to me. It's dirt. That's a dirt smell. I actually don't think I need to smell the dirt. I don't think you need to smell the dirt.

You know what dirt smells like? Yeah, I guess I was a little. Hello. Excuse me. Hello. Hello. It's just dirt. It's just dirt.

It's just dirt. It's just dirt, all right. Okay. Excuse me. I've got a new piece of paper to read out loud. Okay. What's this one? This is called reasons why I have to replace Cameron from Pod About List from Podcast About List on the podcast About List.

That's the name of the list. That's the name of, uh, that's the name of, uh, that's, yes. Yes, that's the name of my list. Okay, all right. The name of my list is the reasons why I will replace Cameron as the new podcast host. So you want to, oh, so this is why the Madlib ended with just me, you, and Patrick going to. so much sense. I was wondering what one of you guys were going to pick up on that.

I think he picked up on it, but I was ignoring it. None of you noticed. I didn't know. It was too clever for me. I didn't know that. It was a little too. You're a little, listen. We do something called a lowbrow humor if you want to check our TV tropes page, Brian.

I know I'm a big fan. Except for only the Mad Lit episodes, I think everything else is mid. You think it's mid? I think everything else is mid except for the Mad Labs. Okay, that's fair. And there's a big reason. Why, and I'll tell you what, it's this big dork right next to me here. So, number one, reason why I'm going to replace Cameron.

If he didn't have a gun, I would defend you. Thank you. But he's got a gun. Reason number one. Okay, what's number one? It's my birthday. Oh. It's my birthday.

Don't the whole, remember in the Madlib when I was saying. Oh, I thought that was just a Madliff. Oh, me too. It's actually your birthday. It's actually my birthday. It's my birthday. Oh, that's nice. I want to say I'm sorry.

Yeah. That's nice. Happy birthday. Happy birthday, Brian. Oh, let's get. Happy birthday. I thought we're, we'll do it. Oh, shit.

Yeah. Happy birthday, Brian. It is your special day. Happy birthday, Brian. Hey, hey, hey. And then go away. And go away for your birthday. And then go away on vacation.

On vacay. Vacay. Oh, sounds nice. But. I don't know, because I'd have to work around the podcast schedule because I'm going to be the new host. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm going to be a new host and we're going to, maybe this guy goes on vacation for him.

Okay. Okay, number two, reason why I should be the new host instead of Cameron. Because I got, I have a lot of funny ideas. I have so many funny ideas. Uh-huh. Like what? Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay, I have that funny idea For what if Lina Dunham Met Jake from State Farm I like this already Which Lena? Oh, from girls Lena Dunn for girls

The one and Jake from State Farm The old Jake or the new Jake from State Farm? The new and improved Jake from State Farm Okay The buff one Oh, he doesn't know He just got a little tubby else I could definitely not put up the numbers.

I know I could put up a day. And so you're saying that he, wait, you were saying that what if they met? So this is what if Lina Dunham and Jay from State Farm met. You're going to act this out first. And I'm going to act this out. This is something I can do instead of whatever Cameron does. And here it goes.

And scene. And please don't interrupt me. And see. And please don't interrupt me. Okay. Okay. And see. And please don't know.

Oh, God. Okay. Oh. Oh, Jake from State Farm. Oh, my pussy. Oh, I hurt my pussy. I felt down on my pussy the other day. And I think I broke it.

I think I broke my pussy. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Leena Dunham, relax. You don't have to get that personal to get State Farm's personal policy price plan. And that's my funny idea. I would have, that's, I mean, that sounds like something we could do on the show. That's what I'm saying, right? I mean, my methods are a little extreme, but you see.

I mean, Lena Donner, you had me it broke my pussy. That's, that's already pretty funny. That's something she would probably blog about or something. She'd probably show it, too. And then Jake from the same arm. Her pants and show it to Jake. Well, I feel like that was implied in the scene is that she's kind of showing the phone. she's like has a big red kind of mayor phone

that she's aiming at her broken pussy and Jake's like Oh it's bro broken Yeah Well because she's probably also on her period She's so stupid that she thinks that it means her pussy broken Oh my god Maybe I'm intellectualizing this too much

No no I like it No it's the kind of thing you're gonna have to get used to If you're the new Yeah kind of like So I guess if you replace it listen let's just hear him out Let's just hear about I mean I think we do need to hear him out I agree.

So if you're going to replace Cameron, Cameron's kind of known as the kind of the gentle giant, first of all, but also kind of the voice of reason, you know, so we would need you to bring some element of that to the table because we already have like basically a crazy guy and a mentally disabled guy,

and he's the voice of reason. So we need you to fill that. You should just have another funny guy, just another crazy guy. Just three crazy guys. I don't think you can do three crazy guys. I think you need two crazy guys in a normal one. Reason number three!

that I will be number one on the host list. Also, by the way, I will get first billing when I'm the new host. Okay. We don't really do billing. I as well, you got to do it somehow. How do you order it now? Whose name goes first, be honest?

When what? I think it's alphabetical. I think it's Calebical. I think it's Caleb Cameron Patrick. Wow. Okay, so it works alphabetically. So, my name's Brian. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Brian, Caleb, Cameron. Well, no, Cameron is already not. Maybe Brian, Caleb, Cameron. Brian, Caleb, Patrick, Cameron, Brian, Caleb, Patrick, Cameron, Brian, Caleb. I feel like he's one too many names. What if it was Caleb, Cameron, Patrick, and then separately, Brian? Featuring Brian.

Brian. And then another, a different podcast. Introducing Brian. Brian. You say that to me, and then I start seeing red. You know what I mean? Okay, so it's scratch what I don't. I can foretell down the future, down the line with that sort of thing.

sort of like you could do like a bill burr kind of Monday morning podcast called like Brian C's Red and you're in there and I bet you hate traffic and bad weather right so we could just get you you could use the studio you could just click record hold on let's do a test run right now yeah let's hear you talk about traffic okay oh Jesus Christ there here it goes hi my um hello welcome to the new episode of pot about list called Brian sees red the new feature on pot about list and I hate traffic

fuck you traffic do you have a car I I thought this is a solo thing man oh I'm sorry yeah that was a little thing guy

come on man killing me over you guy that's my bad I'm sorry come on brother all right now I like this come on brother they could be your catch kind of a southern yeah put their thumb like this way

I'm just getting going here about the driving now. See, that's good, man. That is good. It's way better you being a new member of the podcast. That's better. You think that's good? Yeah. Well, I'm not satisfied because nothing makes me feel as good.

When I was listening to the Madlids episode about Podabout List, I was in the best relationship in my life. I had a six-figure job. I had a full head of hair. I was six foot two. I was cruising down the boulevard every day. I went to clubs. I went to football games.

And now look at me. Sounds like the perfect life. Yeah. I got, now look at me. I wake up at 5 p.m. every day. I got a job working for Uber Eats. Testing out food.

Testing out the bad deliveries that didn't work out. You test the bad. Everyone has to test. When the delivery doesn't work, somebody, it gets thrown into a little, well basically every restaurant has a tube and I'm sitting there at the other end of the two with my mouth open

they forgot to put the ketchup on the burger or whatever I hate when they do that And it shoots directly to you like to bring And I'm on the other end I'm getting paid You know the more I swallow the more I get paid Okay It's commission It's commission based

So I got to be sitting at that tube 20 sometimes 18 hours a day 18 sometimes 20 Wow I didn't know that was a job. You know what? My question is, where do I sign up for that? Honestly, you're making it sound pretty awesome.

18 hours just sitting there eating burgers with no ketchup? I hate ketchup. Yeah. Oh, well, it doesn't compare to the life I was had. I ruined it. I ruined it all. I can't wait for the new Mad Lives episode to come up, but it never did. It slowly, but surely I fell to the perils of online gambling.

No. Don't even talk to me about it. We're very familiar with online gambling. We're very, you know, pro. Pro. I'm pro. Yeah, we're very pro. We're very pro. Stake.com. Yeah. Use code Brian. I owe every cent I'll ever make for the rest of my life to draftkings.com. Don't end up like me, kids. Don't ever online gamble on potabout list. I was, I bet there's going to be new madlip any day. Every day I was made. They had an option to bet on that at Draft Kings? They got all the action on Draft Kings. Well, technically, I didn't even know.

Isn't there one right now, technically? Don't we have to sign off? Can we get that taken down? I can't believe they're paying on whether or not we're going to do another MADLIP. I got all sorts of bets on there. What hats are going to wear? Wait, is that why you made us do a MADLIP? That's, I, oh, you know what?

I didn't even think to fix it like that with the gun and all. You're going to go to jail for that. I already ran out of money, so that would have been a good first move. You didn't even make the money out of that? I just did this out of desperation, you know, and I want to be on the show. Yeah. Well, what else do you have on this list? Hey, everybody, I got a new list for you.

This is a podcast list, isn't it? Yes, it is. All right. Now, everybody, shut up. Number three, I'm an expert in audio engineer. I'm looking at Cameron doing these levels. That mine could be louder. My voice should be way louder right now.

You think it should be whispering. You want me to turn it up? He keeps turning me down and I'm like whispering over here. I'm like, I don't think anyone can even hear me. Turn him up. Turn it up. I think you should turn it up all the way. Turn me up all the way.

This is perfect. Okay, this is the volume. If I was the host, everyone would be at this volume. Okay. This is the damn volume that the podcast should be at. Well, when you become the host, we'll do that. But for now, we'll go with normal level. All right.

Let's do it back. You'll see how good it is later. Look at how much camera enjoys it. He's laughing already at the, how funny the level. That's a funny volume. That's a really funny volume. Brian Well, you're not going to need them much longer

Those ears are yours You can use them to do whatever you like Because you'll be out on the street All right, you'll never podcast in this town again, asshole Can I podcast in Boston? You can go to Boston Podcasts with the small fishes if you want But the big boys

But I'm not getting killed It might not kill you If you cede your seat Without too much of a fight Okay, we can maybe make this, we could, let's let them continue the list. We'll hear the rest of this list. Number four on the list is, it's my birthday today, but also my birthday's good come up next year too. So that's, I guess that's a good point.

But also later it's going to be my birthday too. So then you have to be nice to me, too. Okay. Yeah, I mean, I don't really see how that's different. And I guess you are going to have that every year too. Yeah, I mean, I don't do it now, then it'll be next year by this day. And then you'll have to be nice to me. And then you'll wish you had already done it by now and just...

Well, we're being pretty nice to you right now, I think. We haven't called the cops or... Yeah, there's not even a single... There's no button anywhere. Because we don't dial 911. That's right. Hey, man, brothers. Hey, dabbing up.

Yeah. Hey, yeah, yeah. All right, all right. You can hold for a minute. You can hold for a second, there. Got a little sweaty. Sorry about that. But you still have to keep his hostage, I think.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, don't, don't, don't like, turn it on me. Hey. uh well hmm do i want that i thought you do i want that i guess i want to host it with you so don't please don't no

that's fine okay no this isn't cool i don't like keep it like that that's fine you can continue just for safe keeping i might hold on to this for a second okay yeah i don't know why you gave it to me in the first place it's funny yeah

he's crazy i'm fucking i'm crazy all right okay i lost everything i have i lost my six-figure job. Yeah. All right. What was that job? I was working in sales. I was working in, I was doing customer, I was a customer service rep.

For, for, for Zales. You seem like you would be really good at them. I was working in Zales, sales at Zales. As a customer service rep and, yeah. You sold like jewelry to rappers? Did rappers go to Zales? Rapper. You got like an iced out Rolex at Zales?

You can get, you can get, I'm not, you know me. I'm not a jewelry man. You can get a rolling face at Zales. Can you get, do people go to like, it's like Polo G going to like K jewelers and stuff? Every kiss begins with K. Claire's. I just saw him the other day at Clare's.

At Clair's, you know, Polaro G or YG or, one of the Gs. One of the G's, you know. I don't know, hip-hop's not the same since Mac Miller left the frame. That's true. But anyway, number four.

Number five, Cameron, cut his hair. recently and let's be honest folks yeah not his best look I like it was a cooler I liked him when he was a rocker I'm still a rocker I'm still a rocker look at that look at that right there

I will say that's pretty limp that's pretty well it's what rockers do like this right you look like you're gonna fit a fucking dick and balls oh that's what a rocker fit right in there yeah you have to admit a penis you have to admit that that's a gun that doesn't really prove your point I guess but

but like this is like kind of like You know when you're a kid, you know when you're a kid and you start first jerking off like this? You know, you do like the okay sign on your penis. That limp. That looks like shit. What? No, you're a rocker. He's right.

Your hair changed you. The hair is what I'm talking about. Yeah. This is what I'm talking about. I think I'm on his side on this one. You know, you guys are on his side? Get your old hair back. I mean, I just want to hear him out.

Okay. What the heck? Although maybe you want to keep it short because you'll be doing job interviews, so. All right Number seven Everyone's afraid of Cameron Camera's a scary guy Cameron's got a scary

A scary look in his eye I don't like to make Close eye contact with him Because he I've never seen such a glare We don't talk about it that much But yeah me and Pat We are

Yeah we're scared of camera Yeah You guys are You're scared of me I mean just like I You are bigger than us And you kind of have a temper on you I don't have a history of violence

So I just feel, yes, I'm a little bit scared of you. There, do you think I have a temper, Patrick? There, well. Patrick, I'm speaking to you. I'm speaking to you, Patrick. There's a lot of glass on the ground here. I don't know why. What?

What? I don't know why. I don't know why. There's a lot of glass. What's, what are you saying? What are you, is flourishing tube parties where he finishes. I don't have fluorescent tube parties. I don't smet. I don't do that.

That's not... Yeah, because you're not the target of the tube. Does he hit you with fluorescent? You are not my tube target. I wish you're my tube target in a different sense. He's... He calls me. He says, I need you to come to the office and print something for me.

My phone doesn't connect to the printer. My phone doesn't connect to the printer. His phone doesn't connect to the printer. And so I dropped six to ten times worth, days worth of fluorescent tube. What happened six to ten times on six to ten different days. Okay. And maybe a day's worth is about ten tubes. 60 to 70.

He says that there's no ink in the printer. I lean over. I crouch. And then he breaks a tube over my head. That is, okay, that is. That's not a temper thing, though. You said there were parties? Yeah, what is it?

He calls it a party because he has snacks. Brian, you're, listen, he's crazy, and he even seems taken aback by kind of how rude. A tube. Everybody in America has tube parties. That's an American, that's like apple pie or hot dogs are the 1st of July. Not everybody has apple pie on 4th of July. I said apple pie or hot dogs on 4th of July. Some people have cake on 4th of July because it's their birthday. And on their birthday, they think we're going to tape four tubes together.

I've never done a tube party on my birthday. That's two, I wouldn't waste that day. Midnight counts. No, you wouldn't do a tube party on your birthday. Would you do a tube party today? you wouldn't, right? He knows what the fuck a two party is.

We've been over the two-party. You know what? I would rather hear the next reason that I have to die than keep talking about a two-party. Well, this is actually, this is going into my next point here

is that Cameron is, he's got mass shooter in-cell vibes, doesn't he? And I don't fuck with that. I don't have mass shooter in-sell vibes. You kind of do have. My shirt has pets and animals on it.

But that's clearly ironic. It's not ironic. It's cute. You kind of do have a little bit of that mass shooter. I'm not wearing. it to cultivate a cute and affable thing so I can go up to anybody and get

into a building. I don't think that's cute or affable. I think that it's really like your eye. It's not? No, no, no, no, no. I think it's your personality. Yeah, and like kind of your way that you walk and move and look and talk and your beliefs as well. Yeah, yeah. Some of the things I've heard you say too, yeah, yeah. You kind of

say you say shit all the time like, eat the rich you know, and it's like, what are you a mass shooter, in-sell? Okay, well, you You guys might want to look up a little thing called Chapo. Okay. And you're going to look it up and you're going to think, The Mexican?

No, brother. And you shouldn't say the Mexican. You're getting, you're saying the Mexican guy. You're getting, honestly, not just Insel, kind of SJW vibes as well. I'm not an SJW mass shooter vibe. You kind of seem like a combo between an SJW and an Incel match shooter.

Those things can't be combined. Okay, so choose one. Incel or Mass. S.J.W. You got to pick one. I don't have to pick one. You just pick one. Are you an SJW or what are you?

I'm just me. You are, all right. He's, so that's another. I know the answer. Yeah. What's the next?

And, okay, listen, listen, all right, I'm, I'm, now I said I used to be six foot two.

I'm six feet tall now. I'm six foot. It's two inches. I lost two inches. It's just, it was, you know, it can help that is good posture.

Oh, no. You got to start taking zinc. Zink and good posture. Maybe you get like a back aliner. The rack The rack I'm hunched over on this tube

About 18 hours a day Oh so it's shrinking it around my back It's shrinking me right Probably not a lot of calcium in that food either No no no no no And Cameron's too tall This is my point Is it Cameron

Cameron's too tall Wait what is this guy He's like he's like a He's like Dekembe Matumbo over here What do you mean? I'm not too tall He doesn't sound very tall That sounds like a mouse

He actually is starting to sound like a mouse over here. It's giving me mouse. Pretty small mouse box. Okay, wait, I'm not a mouse. You are you pretending to be small, you motherfucker? I was doing it. I have to go out there, Kenbe Matumbo.

Here's my list for Cameron. Number one, he's a liar. I'm not a liar. I'm a jokester. I don't want to have to work with a liar. Are you really? Though my methods they're maybe mad, there's a madness to them. There's a method to them.

And that's what I'm saying is I'm opening your eyes now, I think. A little bit. Yeah. Is that, this guy is just dragging you guys down. I mean, where have you gone with this podcast? It's going nowhere, you know what I mean? Fast, you know?

So hitting the brick wall. I mean, this guy. Do you think it's his fault? I think this guy is in control. He's like the... Puppet master. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am not a puppet master.

Wait, I just imagine an SJW puppet master. Yeah, I actually is, it's giving me a free song. Oh, my God. Well, think about it. He's got a puppet, fud. True. That's not a puppet. That's a baby.

Maybe puppet. He has a little puppet mascot. It's not my mascot. It's our mascot. It's just as much you guys is puppet as mine. So you are a puppet master. That wasn't in the Madlips episode. That wasn't in the Madlibs episode.

That wasn't in the Madlibs episode, guys. Puppet master says what? What? Puppet master. Confirmed. What did you say? Moving on. I couldn't hear you.

Moving on, my reason number 11 is that, is that, is that I'm cute as a button. I'm cute as a button. I'm so nice. I'm not going to hurt you. You do look really cute. Don't I look so sweet and cute? You remind me of hairy styles. Don't I?

I look like hairy styles right now. Yeah. Wow. I'm so sweet and red. I don't you want to just love me all day? I want to pinch your little cheek. I'm a nice looking man. You're a good looking guy.

I'm a tall drink of water. You're a hot, tall cup. And also is that. Number 12 Is that with the various things that I have Said online and done in public as well as my criminal record I'm thinking podcasting is the only job That will be acceptable is is tenable for me really

Well I mean you yeah You know that we do background checks right Let's do a background check right now Okay Do you have any criminal history I knew this was coming Yes Have you ever done any drugs?

Do this is coming. One and a half. One and a half. One and a half. One and a half of what drugs? I do one and a half zanz. I do one and a half zans at the club the other day. That was your first time and only every time doing drugs.

It was the other day, it was about two days ago. And it was, I just said, you know, I wanted do some zanz. Yeah. So you said, I'm going to do one and a half Zanz. zans. I said, well, I did one and then I said, this thing's aren't kicking in. This zan ain't shit, you know, like that meme. And then, uh, and then, uh, so I said,

I said, give me, give me another one. Give me another one. And I tried to wrestle at this motherfucker's hand. I only got half of it. It's split in half. It's split in half. Like a wishbone. A slow mo, probably. He had a very strong grip strength in his way. What were the effects of the zan? Um, I was barred out, essentially.

Um, I actually was out like a light. Um, and, uh, slept through the flight. You took a flight. Yeah, I took a flight. I took a flight right after that? Yeah, I just jumped on a plane to nowhere. I wanted to go to L.A. Two days ago, you went L.A.

Yeah, just for like vibes, right? I wanted to go see if I could pitch some pilots. Oh. Have some meetings. Okay, and what happened at the meeting with these producers? Well, there wasn't a meeting. Let me tell you that much right now. Was it similar to this?

It was similar to this, except this is actually, you guys are a lot chiller about it than the old swim was. I mean, adult swim, I would say, don't change Rick and Morty. You better not fucking change anything about Rick and Morty. Yeah. Keep the voices the same. This was only two days ago.

This was just two days ago. Yes, it was. Man, they didn't like our pitch either. We pitched a travel show where you go, we would go and see all the famous spots where all the famous vines happened. So we'd go to like the Zendaya is Michi wall. We go to the wall, the crispy cream.

The wall where a dad backflip though. Yeah, we'd do the place where the guy hits the skateboard or whatever. And they said that nobody would recognize it. That's a street. That's a wall. The Zendaya is Michi sign isn't even there anymore. Yeah, they change it to a different movie. So they just basically have no taste in comedy.

Yeah, it was crazy. They fell off. They fell off hard. I mean, yeah, it's crazy. I mean, you just got a fucking... pitch it to it's all on FX these days

all the real shit I mean for sure yeah definitely FX and Roku yeah Roku I heard Tube has a little

money too Samsung Samsung TV Samsung TV is on the come up it's like all they want is animation anyway

pretty much no travel shows hey hands up you motherfuckers you thought I was running low on energy because I came

in so hot no I'm stuck out a couple more here okay so this is the only job

that'll hire me please please hire me and don't do a background check into my criminal history we won't background check you and we'll appreciate that and don't ask any of my friends

about the contents of my character for character references they're not going to say nice things about me okay yeah I don't know any of your friends you don't know any of my friends that's good that's good I haven't spoken to them in a long time

I good we're good on that we're square number 13 is that I can make a hoe nut sexually. I can sexually bust down any hoe. Name one. That's Riz. Pella.

Megan Fox. Megan Fox. Pamela, Megan Fox. Pamela, Megan Fox. I heard Riz nut in about 30 seconds flat, I think. Can you? 30? Okay.

Can you teach me and Patrick how to have a Riz and make a woman? Because I, hey, trust me, we both need it. zero. We get zero. Cameron's not telling you how to have any riz. Cameron's never taught us anything. I know that he eats pussy all day. I try to teach you guys of Riz. You guys were not, you and I guys were not receptive.

He comes in here and does this. He asks us to smell his double finger. And we say, why would you put two in there? And you know, I'm so Rizzless and I'm a wimp, I think. He's doing the improv gun. No, no, no, no, no. As I, what really happens, I tell you to smell my finger and it smells like my penis because I jacked off into a girl from across

the room. Into a girl? That's Riz. That's Riz. Jack off into a girl from across the room. It's called off. He has all these dope-ass fucking Kung Fu's Riz moves and he's not teaching us bullshit, Brian. I wish I could take you guys to the Riz Dojo, but you would not cut it.

The Hojo. So you'll teach us how to fucking finger fuck. Slut food. How's about this? I'm going to go to the bathroom really quick. And then, because I got to be honest, I ran here. You know what I mean? You've been sipping on that ginger.

It's been on the zero sugar ginger rail. Thank you to Schweps. You got that from Schwebs? And yeah, I went to Schwebs. This is the one, my one friend who still talks to me, he... You went to Schwebs? You went to, like, our university? Well, no.

I mean, there's a campus there, but it's for the, you know, the interns. But I went to Schwebs, went to Shwebs, H.Q. My one friend who still talks to me is H.R.W. Schweps. and he has given me a lifetime supply of zero sugar ginger ale. That's very sad. My favorite. Wow.

I didn't know you knew Schwebs. I guess that's just another thing that you bring to the table is that you could probably get us. Literally. Literally. That's funny, right? Can I stay?

We'll talk about it while he's in the bathroom. Anyway, I've been sipping on the Schwebs. Awful. I got to go peep and poop. But I'll be right back. Do you guys do me a favor? We just don't call the cops or anything. No, we know not called a cop.

There's no service in here. Yeah, it's in a basement. Okay, okay. Because I really don't want to kill anyone. I don't want to make you dance. We don't want to dance. You have no motive for this. I'm not a bad guy.

You're not a bad guy. I've done bad things. Believe me. I've done some bad things. Uh-huh. I can tell you. Yeah, you have a nice soul. All right.

Well, I got pee. I'll be right there. All right. Enjoy the pee. Thank you. Have fun. You got to jiggle the head. handle of the door and

the toilet. It might take a minute. You're bringing the sweats in the bathroom with you? I'm going to take my sweats and I'm going to take my ski match just in case anyone recognizes me on the way of the bathroom. Okay, okay.

I also just leave my gun. Wait a second, maybe I should probably take it with me. Yeah. All right, nice one. Close one. Okay. All right, see you.

All right, see, everybody. Okay. Okay. He's not even in the bathroom yet. We can't call the cops. We'll lose our credit. we lose our street we're on video I know switch no

we call we can call 311 no I have an idea that's mostly I also have an idea isn't it or is that 411 wait what's your idea well I was going to call 411 that does nothing for us yeah because I mean we've just had this back here

for like a month oh yeah this gasoline there's gasoline one gallon gasoline oh my god and I have my lunch you brought your oh A bowl of popcorn.

He's a food tester. Holy shit. We could tell. Oh, my God. That is so. Wait, okay. Here, you go ahead. Look out, look out.

Okay. And gasoline is poison, right? I don't think you can eat it. I think it ruins popcorn. It definitely ruins popcorn, for sure. It's melting the popcorn. Yeah, I think it's corrosive. And the, Kyle, he's going to hear it.

Oh, I'm sorry. Hold on, I'll keep my voice down. Okay, just pour all the gasoline. Yeah, just pour all the gasoline. Yeah, just pour all. all the gasoline under the pop. Shut the fuck. Quiet.

Sorry, I have an Irish whisperer. That's probably enough. Okay. That should be all the gasoline on the pop board. I hope he comes and eats this and kills him. Maybe in front of his seat. He's going to smell it, man. I just heard the toilet like fucking gasoline.

Oh, hey, bro. Oh, Brian. We got you. Yeah, get your. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we got you this. You said, so we had an idea. Well, it's your, and it's your birthday.

And it's your birthday. We didn't have a cake. We had Caleb's lunch lying around. Uh-huh. And since you're a food tester, why don't you um... Eat the popcorn.

The present. Popcorn, huh? Well, hmm. Hmm. Smells pretty good. It smells. It does smell great. It's heavily buttered. It's got a lot of butter on it.

Eulery butter. It's an oil. And you're, and you didn't eat anything before you came, right? Oh, no, no, no, just a banana and toast this morning with some coffee, of course, with my French press. Okay. You must be hungry then for, it's almost, what, almost three o'clock. You know what? I'm not hungry.

You're not hungry, but it's good. I took a really nasty crap in there, and I just, I don't want to, I don't want to have to do that again. But don't you want to refill? I don't want to have to take another crap again. But it's really good, right? It's lunch he eats every day, popcorn and paper. It's good.

It's good, but it's birth. I can't eat it because it's birth, but. Oh, it's for the birth. Yeah. If I had eaten it, this is what I would do. That looks good the way you're going to eat. Oh, wow. And I like, and I like, and I like, and I like,

it even though I'm not hungry. Hmm. Well, maybe I will have one. I'm not hungry. I'm second thought. You know what? I just really don't want to have a crap again later, you know? I just, I don't.

I know if I eat now, I'm going to crap later. I just don't want to do. I'll put this over here. And when you do get hungry, you can eat it. Yeah, right? But until then, you should, we definitely should. Let's not make any rash decisions on the future of the podcast and who's going to going to live or pass away.

We're not making any rash decisions. I thought we weren't making a rash. Popcorn gives me a rash. That's what we were talking about. And an incision. Yeah. And you know when you bite the popcorn kernel that makes an incision in the roof of your mouth.

Corn gets stuck in the, ah, yes, of course. My mistake, I'm so sorry. No, it's okay. I'm going to do that aggressively. I still got to keep it on you. Okay, got you. So, okay. So you've hung out with this?

Let's look at the facts. Let's look at the facts. We hung out. We had a good time. We had a great time. So here's a thing, man. Yeah. We don't have to kill Cameron or.

No. Right. I kind of was thinking we were all on the same page about this. We were all going to kill him now. I thought we. Come on. Well, okay. We're not all on the same.

I mean, three against one. Three versus one is still, I mean, some cultures, they don't, three, a one beats the three. What culture would that be? Polish? Native American. So you're saying we go by Polish rules where minority rules

in a voting situation. Yeah. Okay. Well, this minority right here in terms of who has a gun, in that case, I am the minority. And I rule. And I say, can we please kill him, please, guys?

Just we're not good. I don't want to die just because it's your, your birthday, okay? Brian, I don't want to dance. Stop making me dance. I danced so much last night. I'm tired. My legs are sore.

I danced. I hit the gritty. He went to elsewhere. Wow. You hit the gritty at elsewhere. I hit the gritty in my living room afterward, too. I did two gritties. So it's your birthday.

By the way, Brian, Brian. I mean, we got to know. How old are you turning? Me? Yeah, you said it's your birthday. So how old are you turning? How old am I turning? I mean, in terms of years?

Years. Yeah, your age. year age. I guess today if I go by today and then count back

365 365 365 6265 I think I'm turning gosh 900

900 years old I'm turning 900 years old actually that makes not even a lick of sense you can't live to 900 Nobody lives to be 900 years old.

That's impossible. Huh? Except for Yoda, but he disappeared and he turned 900. Wait. But that can't be. But that can't be. Wait, what's happening to you? No, that can't be.

No! No! I've been to be there. Well, that solves that problem, I guess. It's not that big a deal. right? Yeah. And now we've got a free gun. That's cool. Whoa! Nice. Gun time. Gun time. Gun time. Gun time. Gun time. Gun time.