Podcast About List - Ep. 233 - Podcast About List Gets Audited ft. Tommy Bayer

Episode Date: March 15, 2023

Well, it's that time of the year: tax season! We're delighted to receive the visit of an IRS agent to go through all of our expenses and try to add up how much we spend on candy!!! Yayyyy!!! 🍬🍬����🍭🍭🍭🍫🍫🍫 Follow Tommy on Twitter and Instagram Watch the full video for this episode youtube.com/@PodcastAboutList Buy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

That was a terrible clap. That was a terrible clap. That was better. That was a fine clap. It wasn't that big of a deal. Fine-ass clap. So would you guys do this weekend? If you allow me to explain my weekend with a primus song parody.

Go ahead. Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Okay. Too many birthday parties. That's, yeah, I think I can do one, too. Okay, go ahead. I had some fun. You know?

Yeah. We had some fun. Oh, my God. That would be my time. My game is fun. My game is fun. Yeah, I played Hogwarts. My game is fun.

Yeah. No. What? I'm blanking on all the fucking Primus songs. I used to listen to them so much. I can't even think, like, oh, Tommy the Cat. Jared was a race car driver. I can't even think of them as parodies right now.

I don't even really know. I don't know Primus as a band all that well. I'm completely honest. When I was like 12 years old, I think I downloaded their entire discography on like U-Torrent. I don't think that they're everything they ever put out. I've never met anybody who's like, oh yeah, Primus is my favorite band. Well, that's because you meet them and they say Primus sucks. Yeah.

And you're like, it's a prank. What the fuck are you talking about how? I see your t-shirt. Wait, is that a long greasy hair? Yeah. Is that a thing you do? Primis sucks. That's their thing.

That's a joke they do? You're wearing a pork soda t-shirt. You're saying that Primis sucks? Boy, Primis sucks. Motherfucker You're making me Tommy, do you need something? I'm sorry, I'm just

Sorry, I'm just I'm looking at the numbers You guys, no, no, you guys keep talking Okay, okay We could just keep doing it up to Yeah, yeah, I'm just If you have any notes or anything For like how I guess

We could make anything we do Kind of more cost efficient Just kind of let us know Yeah, I'll pop in It's It's looking a little crazy though I'm looking at some of the receipts And it's not looking good

I mean, I'll, I'm sorry to interrupt. Yeah, no, no, of course. No, it's really not a big deal. I am looking over everything, and it is just, it's a lot. It's a lot. Okay, okay. That's kind of making a word. It's fine.

It's a lot. Do you, have you ever listened to Primus? No, I don't. No, what's the premise? No, it's a band called Primus. It has sung a guitar hero. Yeah. John the Fisherman.

No, I don't know. I'm sorry, I'm not, I'm just not, I'm focused. We'll let you. Yeah, we'll let you go back to it. Yeah, yeah. Probably set like an accountant version of a primus song. What would that be? Yeah, okay.

Let's do it. It's one plus one. That's the only primus song I know. When I grow up, I want to be a CPA in New York City. You're a CPA. No. Yeah, you are. Childborn, acquirer.

No. I was going to go for addict. No. Admirer. Yeah. That is not true. Well, there. then what are you then what's the a statement there's no there's that's that's not what I am

associator yeah I like her I like her I like her amazing I saw I'm a like her yeah what I saw I'm a like her that's what you got look I'm not I'm really worried about our finances right now oh okay guys wrote off five charities five charities five charities that was me you guys are doing you're donating the charities but it's it's too many it's an excessive amount and you can't I mean you're going to get audited isn't it good to are you up first of all aren't you auditing us right now I am I am auditing you guys but it's it's you can only donate to so I mean you can't claim that many charities you're not going to get that money back but so okay so here's the thing I love charity yeah we just are generous so I've always been told it's good to donate to

charity okay first off children with Alzheimer's after he's a bathroom children that's real that's real. That's very real. Where do you think certain members of the podcast, why do you think they got on in the first place? Make a wish kind of for that. Yeah. For four years. Okay. I mean, you gave all your money to like the Lou Garrett Foundation, but you just Venmoed a guy named Lou Garrett. Garretts. It was Luke Garrett. Yes, it was Lou Gehratt. You've never had, you've known Luke Garrett. So you've never been in this situation where somebody says, hey, will you Venmo me for half of that coffee that we split. And then you go to Venmo them

and you, yeah, you type their name and wrong. And I'm not going to enter their phone number. I don't know their phone number. I'm paying without confirming. Suck my dick, Venmo. Hold on, I'm sorry. Eight bees? I'm just... Cam, did you do... I wasn't me. Maybe two to three bees

at most. I think we collectively bought a couple of bees. Listen, he had three bees. He had four bees. I had a B. It's not a big deal. Okay? You're going to start a hundred. We're going to start, like, a honey, you're going to start jarring our own honey. You donated $10,000 to the plus, an LGBTQ plus. I wanted to know what that could mean.

I thought it was like a micro-transaction. I thought you know who those guys are? I had to unlock it. Wait, wait, are you saying that it's bad to do that? Well, I'm just saying it's just the, $10,000 to just the plus. Maybe somebody with an electric power. That's what I was thinking when I donated the money. I thought I was saying I was going to plus their money.

I was going to add to their money. I was plussing them. Well, I clicked on the post because I thought it would kind of expand. I thought it was an ex. I thought it was closing the window. I could not donate anything. Get the fuck out of here. It's not that big of a deal, okay?

I don't know why. You have a fucking stick up your ass about this whole money shit. Well, I'm looking, I'm just crunching the numbers over here. And it's just, I mean, like, what was this year must have been crazy for you guys? Yes, it was. Yes, it was. I mean, like, what, walk me through this year. I mean, like, the finances.

Where does it start? Hors. January. Cocaine. January. March, April, May, June. Not February. Yeah.

Didn't need that. Not February yet. Basically, we were doing everything we wanted. We were living like rock stars. So great that you memorized them all. Yeah, it was hard, but that was another thing we spent money on was lessons. Tudors for that. Month lessons.

But I think that the reality is we knew this was coming, right? Yeah. So we lived our entire, our whole year, our whole tax year. Okay. We lived it going, oh, who gives a fuck? Exactly. And that's what's the worst that happens? What's the worst that happened?

What's the worst that happened? Yeah, some fucking nerd shows up and he's dripping wet sitting in our studio. I don't know what you're talking about. Okay, what's this? Chiropractors without borders? Chiropractors without borders is the charity that I started. Okay. So now are you getting through your thick school?

We're laundering money. Dumbass. So those chiropractors are going across seas to... They're going to Mexico City. They don't even exist. We made it up so that we could give him money for free. Can I talk to you in private? it? Yeah. What's up?

You cannot. I guess we take our headphones out. Yeah. You can't be saying that. That's... Why? I know that. You know that. Why? But you cannot be saying that. Who cares about any... What are they going to do? Put us in jail? Listen, if the boys down at the IRS knew that, you said that.

What they do? I go to jail. They're nerds. I'm not afraid of nerds. If you guys hire... I can still hear everything. Some jot... No, well, maybe put them on backwards. Can you put your headphones back on? There we go. I'm not scared of the nerds at the IRS. Okay, you know what I'm scared of?

Slyndermann. That kind of shit is like actual scary shit where people die. I have it in my notes that Cameron bought a haunted house, and you're trying to write that off. You are not familiar with the tax code. You think you'll be able to write that off? No, you can write up. If you buy a house and you find out it's haunted, you can write it off.

Just drinking that wrong. Just drink the water. Just drink it right. It goes in your mouth. This is, it is not looking good. I'm nervous. Okay. You're nervous?

I'm nervous about you. Why are you nervous? Because if the boys find out, because I'm cheating. I'm cheating. Are you cooking our books? Can I talk to all of you guys in private? Yes. All right, everyone put their headphones around.

Everybody who's listening, take your headphones on. Turn the episode off right now and then turn it back on in like two minutes. I'm cooking the books. You're cooking our books. You're cooking the books. And dinner. Dinner's ready. Get your supper

Get your supper pot about this guys You're ringing the dinner bell for us The dinner bell is told I just put these books in the microwave And it's two minutes It's a popcorn setting The books are popping It's gonna be hot

So don't overcook them though Don't overcook the books So wait so when you say cook the books Are we changing So like the haunted house thing How do we cook that? What do we do with that? That's easy, that's easy Native American burial ground.

Yeah, and if you use it as like one of your little bits, one of your little skits, as long as it can be included, is this a comedy podcast? Yeah. Used to be. What is it now? It's a lot of stuff like this. Yeah. Okay.

Well, if you, if, in your taxes, you guys are claiming to be a comedy podcast still. Yeah. Because that's from 2021. More drama, radio drama play. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Character based. Yeah. Right.

Doing skits and sketches and stuff. So if it's for, if you can claim that it's a joke, then I think, I think this is good. So what do we do? So like here, so we can just claim every single one of this is. I have that, I have that Caleb bought a gun. That's true, though. I know exactly, I know exactly how we get out of all, how we write all this stuff off. All right.

All I have to do is say, so I bought a haunted house recently. Oh, oh, yeah, okay. I had the craziest experience. What happened? bought a haunted house. And that should be enough. I'm a little interested, but I haven't heard that much about it. You bought a haunted house.

Did you know it was haunted house? No. No, I did not. The realtor didn't say something? I've seen Nathan for you. Yeah, I know that they have those ghost realtors now. I'm actually involved in a huge legal battle, and I don't think I'm actually supposed to say all that much about. Are you getting sued by a ghost?

I am suing a ghost. I shouldn't say that. Yeah. You're suing a ghost. We didn't say what ghost. We're not going to say. Who or how old they are. Is a child ghost that you're suing?

How long ago from they wonder died? It's Anton Yeltsin. Yeah. Oh, my bad. Hold on, let me make it. Yeah. Yeah, don't write that down. Don't write Anton.

Actually, don't. I'm writing a reminder to not write it down. Imagine being the guy who bought that Jeep. The used Jeep. Imagine they buy that. It's a face imprint, like one of those, one of those. One of those toys that's all the little, like, needles. Imagine you buy it, you get the wheel cover as, like, a con solo version of carbonite on the way.

Imagine you get a, you get a secondhand Jeep, and you take it to, you, it's like, you get the check engine light turns on, you take it to the shop. You're like, what's going on? They open up the hood, and they're like, oh, here's your problem. It's full of anti-yelshy. Just ground beef. Ugh, God. That's terrible. Yeah, it's terrible.

But hit them backwards, though. It hit him backwards, so I don't think it would be an engine. It went all in. It's like when a baby poops his pants, it goes up his back. You go to the fucking mechanic. You're like, oh, I see what the problem is. Let me just check your trunk. Yep.

You got some Yeltson there. God damn it, I knew that used car sale. There was no good. He sold me Anton Yeltson. Well, but depending on how you look at it. Hey, hey, I want to return that. You fucking scammed me. I could sell his bones.

He had a Madame Tousseau. Yeah. We're going back to the dealer that sells, like the used car dealer that sells you that car. And he's like, all right, all right. I know that I sold you Anton Yelchin's like Jeep that killed him. But I have another. You can trade it in for this 1994 white Bronco. What do you got there?

Well, transportation, we can write that off. Yeah. Yeah, I think so, right? Yeah. Yeah. I have it in the email that Patrick wants to write off skateboarding. Like just the whole process. How much does it cost?

I thought that was sort of... I thought that was free. The way that I do it... Patrick's trying to write off gas, too, but he doesn't mean car gas. He just means the gas he's been farting. And he wants to write that off as a food cost. I had to cabbage. And he's trying to include it under transportation.

Cabot and Ramesco. It's like a propellant. It was a video I saw. I made a cabbage recipe. And I've just been stinking up a storm in here. Yeah. He's trying to write that off, include that in the transportation.

It's on the skateboard and it makes him shoot twice as fast with a green club behind. I think I can swing. I put my hands behind my back. Let me explain. Baby, I don't know. I put my hands behind my back. I bend over.

I fart and it shoots me like a rocket down the street. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And kids walking by go, P. You. Yeah.

What happens? And then he gets. he shows up to work. He says, yeah, I got fucking cat called again. These kids were fucking screaming out of it. Yeah. I got made fun of by a more teenage. Some gangsters on the street were yelling at me again today. Some gangstas. Some gangstas were saying

some gangstas. They were saying Pai Roo. Pai Roo. Because they're gangsta thugs. But actually, he had to So I have to write that off. I think you can write that off. Okay. Caleb bought a gun. I think he can We don't have to keep saying...

I think you can do it as a joke, though, because... Caleb got a gun. Okay, that one's covered. That was covered. Yeah, we don't have to worry about that. That's... I think you're... Because you're going to get in trouble

if you don't sing along, too. Well, as long as it's... We're talking about his gun... As in a comedy way, you know, if, like, Caleb went to, like, a mall and went, we, we, I got a gun, I'm crazy. If we're filming it. And we're filming that. Yeah.

That's a joke. I'm all prank gone wrong. But I have a real gun and maybe I accidentally pop off, let a couple of rounds fly. Foot Locker. And I accidentally... Not at a footlock. Maybe I accidentally...

No, no. Lady Foot Locker. Orange Julius. Stay away from Foot Locker. If I... Stay away from... I like Foot Locker. Yeah? That's my store.

You guys can't go in there. Okay. That's where I get my shoes. Okay. How about finish line? You can... How about play it against... The way that you...

The way you're asking me makes me think I should say no. When I see... Well, that's their main competitor in the mall. When I see Lady Foot Locker, I just think that's a regular footlocker. Damn. See, you're wasting your time being an accountant. You should be on a comedy podcast with lines like this. I would hate to do that.

Yeah. You know, I would really fucking hate to do that. It's probably just would make you kill yourself if that was your job. It's not looking good, man. It's looking really bad. It's looking bad. Well, on your W-2s, Because, Cameron, you wrote, so for total income that you guys have made, because you're splitting the income.

Uh-huh. Well. What the fuck's a W-2? It's like a website. Well, you feel, I don't know. So people who can't say Worcestershire sauce, they say that? Well, it's Worcestershire sauce and then times another Worcestershire sauce. Well, what the fuck?

What is a W-2 form? Well, it's just, I think I don't need to explain this anymore. Okay. No, but on your seriously, though, if we can get down the brass tax, which is kind of what I do. You guys, so you're splitting the potabout list, income. Three perfect ways. Three perfect ways.

I haven't in the books. Caleb, 80%, you 10%. Another 10% goes to your producer. You haven't received any. And that's... Well, he comes from money. Oh, okay. And also he does the least amount of work.

Uncle is Mitt Romney. Yeah. No shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you might want to be careful about who you go after tax-wise. That's actually pretty cool. Yeah, so just like watch. You know that big, one of those big-ass photos where it's him and his 600 kids?

He's usually taking the picture. Yeah. They make me take the picture. And any time he gets there, he always takes one of himself. I think every single time I always set the self-timer and I run to get in and I trip and I'm always right in the front of it on the ground. If you zoom in on like the cool cousin's aviation. sunglasses. You can see him tripping.

You can see him tripping and falling. I always remember looking at that picture and finding Waldo in there. Yeah. Well, here it is. If you ask me, they're all Waldo's. So you wrote down on your total income. You just wrote MX plus B equals Y,

the slope? I don't know what that means. Patrick, you just wrote down the color blue. My bank account is out of the red and the black. In the blue I'm making so much. Okay. I think I can work with that.

Caleb, you just wrote down, don't worry about it. also say how to your mother for me. Yeah, I kind of, I thought that was cool. That actually is fucking dopey shit. It was cool. Listen, I'm here to clean that all up. Okay.

And I know you guys like to make a lot of jokes and stuff. Yeah. Well, let's just put our actual income in $8 million, just each. Yeah. Put it in. We'll take that. Yeah, 8 mil apiece. That's nothing.

Yep. Let me just want. YouTube bad money. Yeah. That's YouTube ads go crazy. And our Spotify streams. Yeah. Spotify streams.

Yep. For our music careers. And our new, we now are. are officially partnered with the podcast hosting app Blobber. Blueber by Chup. The Blueber, the

game company? No, it's the app that we made, remember? To launder more money. Oh, yeah, one of those. Yeah. I thought we were going to call that money laundry. No. That app. No, we were going to call it money laundry because that would make it one, too obvious, too.

Everyone would think it's a damn... What about DeLondromat? That'd be sick. If you guys came up, that would be a great name for our podcast network. I grew up with a guy named Laundromat. Really? Where are you from? You from Baltimore?

Yep. Oh, damn. Okay. I didn't know. That makes sense, though. You'd walk around and go, I was up, my name, Laundromat. Londromat. Yeah.

His taxes are looking great. Yeah. We're getting beat by Laundromat. Yeah. It's a dentist. You still do his taxes? Every day. Yeah.

Every day. You're just making sure Every single day that they're fine Yeah, I like what I do You like that How did you get into this whole tax game? I'm curious Well, I was, when I got out of the league

Yeah Oh, which league? The NBA You were in the NBA Yep Where'd you play? Sacramento You were a Sacktown king

Yeah, I was a king Only for like I was barely on the team I think I remember seeing you I feel like I watched a game. I maybe saw your dunking. Coming down the court, Tommy Bayer with a massive slam. Yeah, but even then, I was just like, well, they brought me up from the B leagues.

The B league? Yeah, the B league. In between the G League and the NBA? Yeah. Yeah, they brought me up from the B leagues. And so I only played for about six months over the Kings. But it was all right. Then I was overseas playing in China for a bit.

Oh, but, yeah, I have a degree in taxes, so, you know, once basketball, you know, disappeared. Was it the pandemic? It was the pandi? Well, in the pandemic, we all lost their jobs, you know, so I got laid off from the NBA. Yeah, that's tough. So I was like, all right, and that's, I mean, that's why you go to college, you know, you have a degree to fall back on. Right, and it was taxes. It was taxes, you know, and I like doing it, you know, I've always liked doing it. Yeah.

It's just something you do when you're bored? Well, when I was a kid. Yeah. He used to do taxes for fun. I do my taxes when I'm bored out. Look at how many, like, I have probably like, see all those that stack right there? That's probably all of my returns. Ball is life, taxes is life, man.

It's always that simple. That's always been the case from the jump. 100%. But enough about me, man. We've got to get back to your taxes. Caleb, it's my understanding that you're getting married? Yeah. Yeah, I'm getting married.

And you're doing a wedding? Yeah, yeah. I'm doing a wedding, yeah. All right. So this is the big question. Everybody asks this. Okay. Are you doing band, DJ, or live podcast?

Do the live podcast. Oh, my God. Okay. I will be doing a live recording of the Joe Rogan experience at my wedding. Good choice. Congratulations. That's a good choice. I have not gotten an invite yet, but I'm busy.

Okay. Okay. So I won't send you in then. That's fine. Unless you just want it for your fridge. Yeah, maybe just sat in it. but I do think I'm busy. Hey, somebody needs to tell my mom,

hey, bitch, that wedding was five years ago. Get that motherfucking thing off your fridge, dumb-ass, slut. No. Mom, I love you. I'll say that to her. Yeah. You can say that again. Yeah.

Amanda already got married. You can say that again. And also, by the way, she gained a lot of weight since that photo. We don't need that on the fridge. It's misleading. It's going to make her sad when she comes over and they said it. She's going to, oh, man, I used to be so happy before I married this guy. And then you're just on the couch and she's crying, and she tells you all this.

awful thing. And then guess what? Your ice cream's gone. Yeah. Because that's what women eat when they cry. What do you guys think about how divorce like 60, divorce rates keep going up? Yeah. And the birth rate keeps going down. Holy shit. Are we living in end times? I kind of

think we are. Are we collapsing as a society? Do you know sperm counts are going down as well? And here's what it is. Not mine. Mine are going up, up, up, up, up, up, up. Except for this v. Aral, young bastard. I just heard sperm counts are going down. I got scared. Well, not yours.

I got so scared you took your headphones off. I get scared about that sort of stuff. You get scared about sperm counts? Well, because you're probably here in sperm count, sperm count, and you're such a mathematical mind. He needs to cool down. You're such a mathematically minded guy. You're like, well, get me in there.

Let me start counting. One, two, three, four. I go to the sperm bank once a week. I said, I'd like to make a deposit, please. And you just shoot one right in her face. Just the teller. You're walking. You're already

You're edging yourself As you walk in You walk in You walk in and you go I like to make it a body And sometimes I walk in there With a friend And I go

Me and my buddy Would like to open up a joint again She went on her leg And me and my friend do that Yeah sometimes I go Sometimes I go at like 10 PM I have to go into the little ATM area

I have to put my card in I hate using the ATM at the sperm bank because they always say like Chip Cheap read error The ATM at the sperm bank ate my dick

Oh no I had to get another one They had to send me another one Yo ATM at the Spurnbank throat goat Yeah Yeah

Dude Dude our tax man Fucking unleashed today This guy's going crazy Are you sure that's not Fucking vodka or is that water I'm so fucked up I'm really fucked up.

I actually do have a serious problem. What's your problem? With alcohol? I'd love too hard. How hard I trust too fast. Trust too hard. What? Do you love to trust you fast?

I love, that's my problem. Your problem is you have to trust you fast. I love too hard and I trust too fast. Okay, now I get it. Yeah. And maybe you double dribble too. That's an old habit. Don't tell me.

Don't bring it up. You were amazing, oh, I'm remembering, I'm remembering your play style now. Yeah. You would, you were an amazing three-point shooter. You could dunk from the free throw line, but you pretty much double dribbled every single time that you played basketball. What the fuck is it? Is this a zin? Zins, lower deckies, upper-deckies?

What are you talking about? I'm getting zinned and zaned out. Right now on the, while you're doing our taxes. You got to get the brain working. Is this a nictropic? Nicotine makes your brain move faster. That's proven. Are the Zin's good?

Huh? Do they make you, like, throw up? No. That's what I would be scared of. They're all, they're just mint pouches, right? My little brother was addicted to these things. Spearmint, yeah, I got into them a few weeks ago, and they're pretty good. Were you smoking before that?

I guess they have a point system that you can redeem points on the Zinn packets for. You know some help opening that? Oh, you got it. Okay. For stuff, you can get like a Zinn t-shirt. It's just a piece of paper you put in your mouth. That is awful. This is the new thing that people will do.

Yeah, my little brother was hooked on those. It's called getting zined and zaned out, brother. All right. Is it good or bad? Does it make you feel bad or good? Makes you feel pretty good. Yeah. But it kind of makes you feel bad at the same time.

Yeah, I mean, you're still, you're putting something in your mouth. All good drugs kind of strike that perfect balance. Any drug, don't. Don't spit on camera. No, hey. Don't do one of those. Watch it. I'm trying to watch your taxes.

You guys keep interrupting on the damn taxes. You guys keep interrupting my flow. Have you even looked at this receipt yet? What is that for our... Give me that. What does that one say? It says... Fuck, dude.

It just says... It just says four... Non-cash, $450 credit cards? Oh, then don't worry about that one. That one's nothing. We didn't buy anything. Okay, wait. You went to...

You went to N&L 99 cents town? That's... We went on vacation. Yeah. We went to... We went to... We went to 99 cents town. We'd go to a one-way ticket

to 9-0-0. 99 cents down? Here's another city we went to. Is that where you, how much? Two bucks. Two bucks between the three of us. And then we made a stop over at Dollar City. Same night?

This must have been the cocaine and hookers. Yeah, we did all have that. You went to 99 cent town and got a couple hookers. Then we went to Dollar City and pressed our luck on the button. A couple 99 cent horse. Dollar City, a little more upscale than 99 cent town. Yeah, definitely. Just a little ritzier.

What did we buy at Dollar City? Perfume. I wonder who that was. Guilty. I love fragrance. Anything else interesting on that one? That's seriously messed up. That he likes girls' fragrance?

As a man. No, it's male fragrances. It's stuff called like... Girls toy set? Oh, we have that over there. Oh, yeah, that's somewhere. I would like to see that. Okay, you want to talk about, you think that we waste money, do you?

You really think we waste money? Also, I want to get it on camera, too, because we can write this off. Tell me how this, it was a waste of money. This is not a waste. DIY dollhouse, and it's covered in water. Yeah, so, wait a DIY. Why is it so wet? Wait, how does a dollhouse...

That might be the flooding that's happening right now. How does a dollhouse get a DIY? They can't drive drunk. They can drive drunk. drive drunk. These ones get drive drunk. I can tell the Zinn is hitting you.

Yeah, the Zinn is hitting you're like crazy on a whole new level right now. I feel insane. It's three milligram nicotine Zins, which is the perfect amount. Okay. Well, here, we need, let's we'll get into the list. We do have a list

today. Tommy's going to keep working on our taxes. And, you know, Tommy, you can hang around. You're welcome to join in on whatever. Clinic toys set. Police play set. It's, Sounds like Some sort of sex

Some sort of sex thing to me They're actually Is there our actual receipts that I'm like Saving for our taxes And they're all like Dall House Playset

Police play set Now walk me To go to jail Police place set? Yeah So here's what I did The police play set I gave that to Patrick

For Christmas That was given to me on the Christmas episode. Here's a great write-off. This first one here, you think we can write this off? Extra sugar-free gum. It wasn't sugar-free enough.

So you had to get, like, the extra strength. Sugar-free extra strength. See, I think we can write this off because this is, we can use this for your jokes. Yeah. You guys use this for your little skits on stage or something. Oh, this is how we're making, this is how all of this ends up being,

This is how you use it all And now you have visual proof That we have made We have made comedy out of these purchases Yes Yeah Yeah like this one here One

$15 for a Santa suit All right This one I don't even know I can say I don't even know if I can say Because it sounds like kind of like a slur Someone bought for $10 A Malika blackout curtain Will you mind

Tell me what the hell is a Malika blackout curtain I have no idea it's as black as Malika is as I guess a person You bought a bunch of cheese This is a stop and show for a sake I know I shouldn't be asking these dumb questions Because I am

You know That's for Thanksgiving I am your auditor I'm your IRS agent I work for you guys Directly under you guys Sometimes on top And

Do you guys have a shared company credit card? Yeah, we do, actually, yeah. That's good. Yeah. That's great. McCormick food coloring. I wonder what that was for. Why do you ask?

Well, it's just a good way. It's just good that you guys have a shared credit card. It just makes things easier instead of, like, you guys purchasing on separate credit cards and then taking all the receipts. If we can just allocate the funds through the LLC. Oh, okay. Because then it's not. Then also we don't know who bought what. Yeah.

It's a nice kind of like, oh, who knows. Yeah, who did this? Who got this? Yeah, yeah. Check out the next guy. All right. We'll pull up the list. in the meantime while he keeps looking at the receipts.

So this is a website, a blog spot that I found called The Internet is in America. Okay. And it's a blogger who goes by the name Jimbo X, which I thought was a pretty neat. The way I found this was I was just Googling Bloods and Cripps blog spot. Wait, sorry, what's this receipt that you just found for? For $16, someone on the company card,

bought a Yemeni kebab meal Also, it says the cashier's name. Cashier's name, Jay. That's very sweet. If we get really audited, is that the other kind of question the IRS will ask us? Two extra horisas.

Yeah, I mean, we won't. Girl, you're going to be farting with all that. You're going to be tooting so much. I'm going to say, was Patrick here? Yeah, I think Patrick probably ate it. Stinky, man, you stink. This guy's name is Jimbo X. For real.

Kind of a cool Malcolm X-style thing. Greetings, intro web travelers. My name is Jimbo X. An unusual surname, I know. Think it's Greenlandic. And I'm your kindly proprietor of I-I-I-A. You're probably wondering what the intent of the site is, so that makes two of us.

I suppose it's an info dump for all the stuff that I find fascinating slash irksome about American culture and society. This guy's kind of a cultural commentator. I'm a Michael Malice to you. Bill Maher. So you'll find a nice jumble of high culture snobbery and low culture sleaze here. It's also a place for me to rant, rave, and ramble about all sorts of things that matter and don't matter. So prepare yourself for some heavy-handed bloviating about politics and consumption. Bloviating?

Yeah, I heard that sleaze is back, too. So this is timely. So Jimbo X is right on it. Yeah. Wow. That and lots of stuff about video games and junk food, the things that matter the most, obviously. So here's some examples of some of his articles that he's written over the years. There's, why won't black women date white guys?

He wrote in 2017. You got to go to the league. Well, I bet they're all over you, right? You got to go to the league if you want. Ten homicidal homosexuals. Wow. And what's this one? How do guys really feel about fat girls?

So that's a kind of like cultural... What are we looking at today? Nome Chomsky type. So this one, I think I forgot to take a picture. Oh, here's some other things that he wrote. Ten things that are probably worse than being raped. Oh, my God. And then...

Jimbo's America. And also he has a brief rundown. Yeah. I'm not going to really get into detail with this top ten. I'm giving you a brief runoff. out. Now, listen, listen. As soon as I tell you what it is, you're going to be like, oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, and also, I don't want to waste your time with the nitty, gritty details. I didn't take any screenshots the actual article, but I did look at it, and it was all just, like, very specific scenarios, like, having acid thrown in your face and your entire face melting off. So he... This guy's in the trenches. He's in the trenches. So this one is... What is that thing on the right there? I don't remember what that's from.

Is that a snowman? It's some fucked-up thing that he made. Will you click on the thing, Jubio? There we go. 41 things I hate about modern society. That was another one that I found. He does a lot of original art for these. That is cool, a piece of original.

Yeah, go back to that. Go back to that art. Let me see. Let me pull that up on the screen real quick. That is beautiful. That looks amazing. That looks really, really cool. But this one today is, I think, 10 signs that a woman is a sociopath as well.

Which is pretty cool. Okay. Is my clicker working? There it is. All right. What screw eyes? You bought screw eyes for three. You bought screw eyes five piece.

I'm not. Let me see. Take a look at this. You brought a five piece screw eyes for three 24. What kind of McDonald's order is that? I'm thinking like, oh, like he's giving me screw. Oh, yeah, screw eyes. like the things that you put

Yeah, this is, I think this is the Safari. The things that you put in the wall? Oh, I, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I bought the screw eyes. Okay, so don't worry about the screw eyes. So you needed this to build the studio, I'm assuming? Yeah, we were buying us.

This is for sure a business expense that we can ride on. Yeah, we got screw eyes. I thought it was like little wobbly eyes. The ones that come out of the glasses like this? Honestly, that might be them. You know, it's one of the other. Like when you see a pretty girl or a hot guy and you go, bonga, wong, wow, wow.

I don't think that's the noise, usually. Boingo, wong, wow. Boing a wow. I think it's boi-o-y-o-y-o-wong, not bingo-wow, wow, wow. No, it's boomish like a wow. No, that's not, no, you're doing scrap. So according to modern research, a fairer sex is about 40% more likely to report mental illnesses than men. In fact, women are actually twice as likely as men to be diagnosed with severe depression.

And while a nearly equivalent number of men and women experienced bipolar disorder, a study suggested the severity of psychotic episodes is much more violent with women than men. Yeah, no surprises here, if you ask me. Trust me, I do their taxes. Yeah. You do women's taxes, too? All of them.

What happened? Every woman or... Now I... Every good one. Oh, okay. And that's how many? About three. Okay.

Can you go to the next slide? This is not working. This is just all a bunch of... Yeah, just jump all around willy-nilly. Over the years, I've probably had maybe a dozen somewhat close relations with females, meaning at some point our tongues touched. Only a dozen? Only a dozen.

You fucking dog. They're tongues touched without hyperbole. Oh, never mind. Now, get this, though. He's got some shit to say about these bitches. I can safely say that half of them either had an already diagnosed mental health disorder or a clearly undiagnosed one, if not a confluence of them. The range I've worked with is pretty vast, running the gamut from girls with

milder issues, depression, mild anxiety, to much more serious conditions, anorexia, nice, by the way, but Jimbo, bipolar disorder, to, oh, shit, what the fuck was I thinking, schizophrenia and opiate addiction, if you can believe it. I cannot believe this guy was involved with anyone addicted to opioids. I can't believe that Jimbo X may be, maybe not a great judge of character. We have this saying at the IRS, bitches be crazy. Damn. That's like on the, like it's next to the stuff on the wall.

Yeah, sometimes me and the guys at the IRS, we go out. and have some beers after work. Nice. And we say that sort of stuff at the bar. Yeah. How loudly do you say it? Very quietly. Very quiet.

I don't do not want my boss to hear. She is a woman. Yeah. You guys, you say it so quiet. You can't even hear each other. We whisper. You're saying it like, and then the other one's going,

and I go, and I go, don't tell anybody I study. I'm the fault guy. Yeah. Do you guys ever play the penis game at the IRS? When you're at the IRS, do you ever play the penis game? Damn. We used to do it a lot.

What happened? It was too funny. As a guy who stared down his own demons in the past, and I'll come back to that in a second. I don't want to shame anybody for their plights. That said at the same time, I think it's only fair that guys out there at least know some of the less obvious symptoms that a girl may or may not have a few proverbial screws loose. Below I have listed 10 tell-tale yet subtle indicators that a girl has severe identity conflict problems, shopping compulsions, extreme lethargy, paranoid tendencies, delusions of grandeur, and if absolutely nothing else, an utterly bland, if not unbearably shitty personality. So he says here he stared down his own demons in the past, and then, so that link goes to, click the next slide, please.

This is his demon. An addiction to writing? Why do I write? Because I'm literally addicted to it. That's why. Yeah, I have this. She is charged. I have the same about taxes.

You have a taxed? Doing taxes addiction? Yeah. If you go through this guy's website, he posts about 50 blogs that are all four or five thousand words a month. He really does have an addiction.

He's still going through? He's still using BlogSpot and everything? I think he must have died in 2018 or something. Oh, yeah. He just cuts off. First COVID victim. Sign number one. Her Facebook,

oh, no, sorry. In 2018, he stopped doing his SJW fails of the week that he was doing for a while. So I think something happened to him. Taken out by the woke mafia. It has to be a wokeie that shot him in the head. Sign number one,

her Facebook profile is anything other than a photo of herself. While Facebook in and of itself, nothing more than a maddening spiral of vanity and desperate attention seeking, holy shit, this guy's smart. You should probably take it as a major red flag if your potential romantic partner features anything other than a mugshot of herself

as her profile photographed. This guy's such a genius. He says photograph or profile picture. If I was hanging out with this guy and he was saying something like that to me at the bar, I'd go, write that down. You need to start a blog, man. Yeah, someone fucked up really bad. Write that down right. Because that is good.

I told this guy to start a blog. Oh, this is a long one. A good rule of thumb here is that the less of her face you actually see, the bat-shick crazier she likely is. Sorry, do you have a receipt? So this one makes sense because it was on October 31st. I know what this one's going to be. Read it down the line. Okay.

Read all of it. Organic broth chicken. One Hershey's Kiss. One Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Another piece of Reesas Peanut Butter Cup. Three Hershey's mini subs. One Werther's Bar. One Hershey's Kiss.

Another Werther's Bar. Two more Hershey's Kiss. Three chew It says chew F-R-T Chewy fruits Chewy fruits Chewy fruits Yeah

Patrick Sounds like Patrick Sounds like someone got some candy For Patrick's party Yeah What's a SB straight light Starburst

Starbursts Starburst light Starlight It's not a straight light Like lights These are some lights that you got for straight guys Yeah, obviously Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then two caramel cramps, crap caramels, I don't know what those are. That was fancy. Bag fee, 10%. You're always, you always get either 10% or 25% bag fee at the end. Caleb, you should bring your own bags. Can we hear how much the total was for this?

How much money this was on Halloween Day? This is going to be a good one to write off. You're actually going to want to save these. Yeah, I know. $147. in 86 in candy on the company card

you dropped you dropped a buck 47 and 86 cents at stop and shop on Halloween it was okay it was for the Halloween live show and we were

we were hungry we gave out candy we were hungry what are you talking about it doesn't matter if you're using it for the show we can write that off okay if it isn't

is it involved in the show I will say I will say there is one thing in here that I know for a fact. Okay, we got, yeah, we gave that cake out. The chips on this? You just ate those? We kept them. We just kept them back.

I'm so glad it says October 31st because I saw the receipt and I went, if this is any other day, besides Halloween, yeah, we got a couple of fat soes on our hand. $150 on 10th. I was like, who? Like August? Like, who snapped? Like, you're just...

I mean, I'm getting... It's a fucking receipt. Oh, wow. Also, on the same day, you bought a black devil horns, 3D beer pint. Yeah, I would dress up as a beer. Three-d-bue beer pot. Which, I mean, we live in the third dimension.

Yes. It's all going to be 3D. It's like, are you going to put 3D on everything? No, probably not. 3D is implied. Yeah. For a costume that you're wearing. Given the dimension that we currently exist.

We can dispute this. They put 3D. It's like, yeah. Oh, you're just, I'm disputing the fuck out of this. That costs you 30 bucks. 2999. That's Brooklyn beer prices. Yeah.

You go to Wisconsin and get a 3D beer pint costume. $2. Yeah, $2. Yeah, $2 draft. Easy. So, yeah, if the bitch doesn't have a photo of herself, then you shouldn't have sex with her because she's crazy. They'll pay you to wear a three-day, three-d-bine beer costume in Wisconsin.

What? They'll pay you at the grocery store. They'll pay you to do. That's how cheap it is. Yeah, we should have just gone and gotten. I mean, how much with all that candy of cost them in Wisconsin, you think? Well, there's more fat fatties there. Yeah, true.

So they got a fat tax. You know about the fat tax? I know about the fat tax. A little bit more expensive. A little bit more expensive. Not much more, but we're talking maybe $100 or so. Oh, okay. You know, and we're spending $150, might as well spend $250 on candy.

I think we had a pretty similar conversation when we bought all that candy. Yeah. We're going to spend $1. We might as well spend all the money. The worst part is I think we gave away every single. piece at candy. Yeah. Yeah.

People really... Again, more charity. Yeah. We can write that off. That could be... Well, a business expense or charity? I think that's charitable. It's 100% charity.

I mean, you should have seen these fucking people again. No, they were in need. This is charity. You know that song? I want candy. Yeah, dude. He's dead. Oh, we should have played that.

Right? He gave out the candy. Is that one dead? No, his older brother's dead. Here's the thing. No, he's dead. Oh, shit. Here's the thing about Halloween.

Eric Cartman died? No. And he died. Here's the thing about Halloween, Patrick. There's always going to be another. That's a good point. So the world is. Is that another thing you have on the wall?

That's a good quote. That's our saying at the IRS. There will always be another Halloween. We love, we love Halloween. Do you guys go hard? We go so hard, very quietly. Because that's like halfway between the tax deadlines. Yeah.

Basically Halloween. Yeah, exactly. It's very exciting. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah. You guys should come one year. Oh, I'm not a party of the IRS.

Yeah, party at the IRS. Sounds chill. Number two, a way a woman is a psychopath, she describes herself as quirky. Ben, there, man. Thanks to the overall geekening of American pop culture, don't get me started. We're now living in a cultural milieu where traditional Victorian beauty has been shaved out of existence. All these women are not wearing corsets and shit. I mean, I'm a Victorian bitch who can't breathe.

For real. Instead, an entire generation of men have grown up forced to accomplish. except a dorkable as the zenith of the female form, complete with all its annoying and irksome fan-girlish qualities and characteristics, which in and of themselves are potential symptoms of bipolar disorder. If a girl ever uses terms like quirky or God help you, she describes herself as a manic pixie dream girl. That's basically code word for,

I'm an immature, irritating woman child with no redeemable personality traits and some schizzoid-type tendencies to boot. My God. And on top of that, she's usually chunky and ugly as hell too. this guy's running through every mental illness he looked up he looked up like every the table of contents of the DSM yeah I just he put all of this in here

this woman is schizophrenic too nobody has ever been like trying to make a point and be like yeah and schizoid tendencies yeah he's really very quirky Zoe D. Chanel has schizzoid type she does have schizzoid tendencies she's talking to her I don't know if you ever seen the movie if a bitch came up to me said yeah talk to an elf he sang

to me in the shower. You're going to the hospital. She sings in the shower. He comes in. He's singing beautiful song. She says, get the fuck out. That's schizoid. That's schizoid. First of all, hey, here's a question. How come you're naked looking at this guy? That's sexually inappropriate. He's just sitting there in the bathroom. And he's not even he is human. Why are you at work? You're showering at work? Oh, yeah. He's not a real elf. He's not an elf. If one of my girls he's told me she was dating an elf, I would have been like, girl, you got to get you so real man. That's what you would say to one of Do you have a lot of girlfriends?

Yeah, I keep a group about eight women with me. Really? Hang out, yeah. And you do three of their taxes. Well, yeah, three of them are great. Yeah. Don't tell the other. Don't tell the other.

I don't even want to. Yeah. They listen to your show. Yeah. Oh, really? Oh, okay. Okay. Is that why they're not great?

Is that what you're saying? Yeah. Okay. Sign number three, she's into anime. It's a known fact there are only two types of people into anime. Really dorky. usually sociopathic men who jerk off to Sailor Moon and really dorky's sexually frustrated women

with rape fantasies dream of being tied up and molested by a robot. I would say there's three types because you also would have Japanese people. Normal just Japanese people. Since you have to have the mentality of a 12-year-old to sit through any Japanese cartoon for more than a minute without drool running

out of the side of your mouth, any girl with a profound adulation for the alleged art form is no doubt someone you want to steer far, far away from. Unless, of course, you fantasize about having a 300-pound woman and a neon pink wig blow you while pretending to be a Gundam mech or something. He knows what Gundam mecks are. He's doing go-play with your Pokemon creatures.

That's what's so annoying about this whole website is that he has such specific references for everything. He did a review of the Dark Night Rises where he was like, on my fourth viewing, I realize it was the worst movie I've ever seen in theater. It's like, what are you doing? He does the thing where you're completely. planning about something and you realize you're getting way too

specific and then you just go, or whatever. Yeah. This guy is, every time I complain. This guy, he's done a deep dive on every disorder, every psychological disorder besides autism. Yeah. He's never heard of it.

He never heard of it. Sign number four, she's into cosplaying. This is like becoming very apparent that this is about like an ex-girlfriend. Well, yeah, he said that he had, he's, okay. No, it's becoming, it's got a host. He's fucked 12 bitches in his life. Half of them,

motherfucking crazy as shit. The other half, we don't even know. The other half... You've all been there. I mean, I've probably texted with one woman in my life and half of them are fucking crazy. Half of her personalities.

They're fucking crazy bitches. Sign number four, she's into cosplay. The fact that I even have to tell young men today that this is a warning sign shows you just how much we've decayed as a society. All caps now. She's a grown-ass woman dressed up like a cartoon character

in public. Yeah, I know there's some hot cosplayers out there, but let's face it. They're usually real models who don't give a shit about the conventions and are just there to appeal to the most mainstream fetish subcultures out there. And even if she is hot, think about this for a moment.

Do you honestly think a girl who runs around half naked and full body paint doesn't have some really deep-seated psychological issues she hasn't worked through yet. Oh, that's true. All those girls that run around, like the blue car from cars.

You remember her? Zero suit. Samas. From Baywatch? No, the blonde girl... Zoe Dishanelle and Elf, we already talked about it. Hot cosplayer girl. What was her name, man? Link.

No, bro. Sheep. Blonde. Blonde. That's a movie. That's a hair color. Stop. Legally.

No, legally. That's another movie, man. Shut up. Legally blonde, too. Twice as blonde, twice as fast. No, it's not called... No, Princess Peach is... You're just naming characters now.

Mrs. Peach. Give up. Frank Ocean. Yes. Sign number five. That boy, blonde. We saw him one time at a bookstore. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, don't mean to brag. His ass. You know his ass not reading. He was buying art books. He was reading outside. And I remember we were at this bookstore. You and me were looking at a Tom of Finland book that they had. And I was very loudly being like, oh, yeah, this is the kind of stuff.

that I like the big balls and the big dicks and they're I fucking love this. Look at this guy's cock and Frank Ocean was four feet from me looking at like some photography book. Frank Ocean is just like you know I'm bye. Yeah true. So I like what you're saying.

Let me see. I know. He was like, oh for real they have big dicks and giant asshole. I know someone who knows Frank Ocean and they say in every conversation he goes, you know I'm bye? Yeah, I know. We get it. Do you think he's going to finally give up on that whole thing? It's like, it's like, boy, buy.

Like, shut up. About the, about the buy, being by already. Yeah, boy, buy. Boy, bye. All right. I got some wild receipts. Oh, yeah. Give me some.

What do you got? Well, this one is $92. Anytime it's over 50 bucks, I get really nervous. Well, I can see the logo for Spirit Halloween on the back of the paper already. Well, this one, I hope, is for Halloween because it's very suspicious, and I hope you guys aren't committing any crimes or doing anything because, I mean, half gallon of blood. A half gallon. That's enough. You put that in your car.

You can drive a quarter mile on that. I don't remember if that was for Halloween, honestly. No, that was for something else. 20 bucks. Blood prices are going up. Biden did. We have... I don't think we have touched that.

No, wait, we did use that blood. We did use that blood. We used the blood on the, yeah, first video episode. Yeah, you didn't use half gallon, though. We need to keep it for later, just a, like a pint. Okay, maybe we need to be a little more conservative when we buy. Pined of blood. Yeah, that's not that.

That's a good, that's a good note. A half gallon. You're right. You're 100% right. Anything else on there? Too late tech. arms oh they're right there if you want to grab them there's it well there's no we just got a latex dose oh god yeah all right i'll say it for the latina listeners i'll say it means one and two

latex arms this was a waste of money these we didn't need these i think we used them one time we'll use them again we'll use them again we're using them right now hey oh wait pleasure to meet you that's good pretty good shaking the hand now we've used um now they're used Bone. Wait, I'm not done. It says bone, 17 inches. What's this? This Cameron's cock?

I heard you got a piece, brother. We bought a bone. I'm sorry. We had to get the bone. Bone, butcher knife. Steve, McSteeve mask. Minecraft Steve mask. Yeah.

Yeah, can I get a mixed? Steve. The McSteeve meal. Heart. We bought a heart. 799. Listen. Pretty cheap.

It's pretty cheap for a heart, but that's what you get in this day and age. That's what hearts cost. You get what you pay for. You get what you pay for. And then 25 cents bag. I'm seeing. I should have carried it out. I'm seeing a reoccurring problem here.

I definitely should be a little bit more. I could be a little closer to the vest with our money. You should get in the totes, man. I mean, I'm open to... You're toot-toned. You're to-opened. Open to totes. Yeah, I mean, I need to just buy a reason.

I just forget to bring them. You know, when I'm like, oh, I have to go to the store. Fuck, I give me an IRS tote. Really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. That would be great. You know, it would be great if we make something, put it in the car.

Uh-huh. The car, the company car. Bag of totes. You guys have a company car. Yeah, you don't want to see it. The Palmobile? Replica Batmobile. It's pretty sick.

Dark Night Rises. Dark Night Rizes. What's the... It's this big. What's the... Tiny on that? The RPG? Yeah.

The what... Rotations per gallon? Yeah. What do you get on that? It's pretty high. What do you get on that bad boy? Probably about 100,000. Yeah, I don't know.

I've never heard of RPG. I mean, that's a bazooka. What do you get on the VPN? On that bad boy? The VPN? Vehicles per minute. One. I mean, or just...

I mean, depends on how long to have it, I guess. Well, it's a replica Batmobile from Dark Night Rises, so it can turn into a motorcycle at any moment. Two. So I guess two VPM at times. Yeah. Can go up to two. You're a real car guy, I see.

Yeah, yeah, I love talking about this LD2s. Yeah. Left or Dead, too. Yep. Okay. All right, yeah, I'll just get back to digging. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. You can skip this one.

This is just, he hates gaming girls, which, you know, obviously. So this is a good one. actually. Sign number six, she vapes. My general rule, if she's under the age of 25 and smokes cigarettes, that's fair game. Her prefrontal cortex hasn't developed yet, and she's probably some badass

art school rebel with loose sexual moors, to quote one of my old junior college buddies, if she'll suck toxic fumes into her lugs on purpose, she'll probably suck on something else too. I want to see him and his buddies in college, like it's like a prequel TV series. That'd be amazing.

If she's over the age of 25 and still puffs on the camels. That's a sign that she's weak-willed and too fucking stupid to understand what a surgeon general's warning is. Dude, these women, they don't even know what that is. They think that it's a tattoo on the person when they look at the picture. So leave it be, leave it be, leave it be. That said, no matter a girl's age, if she vapes, also known as e-smoking. Oh, yeah. I know it by that name. Everybody knows it as e-smoking. Yeah, I feel like people say e-smoking more than vape. 100%. Yeah. It's a 100% guarantee that she ain't worth a dime, nickel.

or penny. I mean, shit. If she's willing to squander so much money on a robotic shot of nicotine, she'll probably spend even more money on even stupider shit, like 3D printing hardware and IKEA furniture. Yeah. These women in there, I can't. Fuck, IKEA furniture. They walk in there, they say, I want this, I want

a basket, I want a fork. How about I fucking kick you? Yeah, how about the meatballs? Yeah, exactly. We go, we get lunch, we eat the meatballs, and then we go. And we go. And we gone. Yeah. And we gone. We ain't going to the showroom. Fuck all that.

No, no, no, no, no. Only room I'm going to is the food court. That's right. I'm getting that little, I'm getting the little green cake. Yep. Right? I'm loading that thing up. Yeah. Ligonberry and meatballs.

All I eat, man, I'm on a strict diet at the IRS of green cake and meatballs. You have an IKEA food court in the IRS? Oh, yeah. You show up, fill up a hard hat with meatballs. I'm out. We got it built in. That's incredible. Yeah.

Anything good on that receipt? Well, this one, so this is from a hardware store. You bought two hammers. Let me. Hammer gray and hammer brown. Okay. Let me explain. We had an idea to do a hammer fight.

I forgot about the hammer fight. Yeah, we were going to do a hammer fight. And I was like, well, if they're the same color, then people are going to get confused. Yeah. Yeah. You don't want to bring a hammer, gray, and hammer brown hammer to a gunfight. You don't want to bring a brown hammer to a gray hammer fight. No. You'll get, you'll get beat. They have different stat points. Yeah. Yeah, you'll get beaten with the hammer every time. Ten times. Gray hammer, brown hammer. And how much did we spend on those? Um, you spent, uh, third, uh, oh, wow, uh, 40 bucks.

40 bucks on hammers. Two hammers? Two hammers. That's pretty good. I, you know, are they $20 hammers? I do think of hammers is, I can't believe I bought hammers. I feel like that's a free thing. Yeah. This really is. Wow, man. This was a opening my eyes. Yeah, you bought some couplings, a common board, a tempered hard board.

You spent $136 bucks in this trip. Yeah. Which is actually, a lot of stuff is on manager special, so he's in charge of all the credit cards. You're going to want to save that one. That's going to be a good one to write off. You're going to want to get that money back. We're going to run through the last couple of these real quick. So sign number seven, she's really, really proud of her tattoos and or piercings.

That's disgusting. We can skip that one. Sign number eight, she makes references to internet memes in real-life conversations. Guilty as fuck. I just made iFunny. I just made an eye-fony account. My face when I see this. Oh, God.

Troll face. Impressional people of the sort are something far worse than just boring and annoying. Oftentimes they're downright dangerous. And if you click on that link, it shows this. it's uh well it's not an actual link you fucking moron it's the next slide it's uh a girls charge in slenderment and i think they were like 13 yeah so you're saying don't go near these girls because they're crazy they are those are they're really crazy yeah they have to be uh and then these next two because i want to hear more about these taxes uh she says she's artistic but she can't paint sculpt or draw worth shit uh

I know hell of bitches like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And this last one is she does that winged thing with her eyeliner. Bro. What the fuck is that? What is it? What is it? Are you a bird? No.

Are you a mime? Are you a asshole? Yes. With a fucking ass pub hanging out. And girls who have that, they always do the thing with guys with handle bar mustaches. They do what thing? They curl the end of their eyes? Yeah, they go.

They're always doing that, man. We know different bitches. Yeah, we'll say that right now. We hang out with a different type of bitch. They're always doing the handlebar mustache thing. With their eyes. They're going. That feels like that would hurt.

That would hurt me badly. It's like, shut up already. Yeah, I, yeah. Trying to drink. And then show, this last slide is just one other thing that he wrote on here, which is, let's face it, Kurt Cobain's suck. And this is a drawing that he made of Kurt Cobain blowing his head off with what looks like a sniper rifle.

Yeah, yeah, that's a FAMAS from CounterStrike. Yeah, that's a fit. You get the three-bullet burst. Yeah. Yeah, he right-click to get the burst. Dude, Kirkobay trying to shoot himself with a Counter-Strike P90 and just shooting above himself on the wall every time. Like, fuck, fuck, I have to control the recoil batter. I have to pull down into the left

So yeah That's it from Jimbo X So listen Tommy Yeah What's the damage? Give us a number You've gone through everything So how much do we owe

How's it looking Okay So that's going to Don't blow it away The receipts away We got to these are real Don't hop on Don't try and blow them up either

Don't spit on him up either Don't spit on him That's not for me It's not looking good I was hoping you'd say the numbers in the calculator there. Hold on. Give me a second. Can we in post add in some?

No, I think you sound good doing that. Wait, hold on. I think we'll keep it there. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. Air, error. No. Abort.

Abort. Don't abort. Abortion. Abortion. Don't do an abortion. Don't mention that. That's too contentious. Abortion, abortion is good.

No, whoa, what kind of calculator do you buy? Pro-choice. Whoa, this is a fucking New York instruments. Uh. The old California instruments calculator. Talk about a scientific calculator instead of a damn Christian calculator. Abortion. Abortion is good if that's what you want.

I don't know. Okay. I actually don't know. I actually didn't vote. The odd calculator. Let me try it. It's a calculator. Two puppy biscuits.

You guys owe about two puppy biscuits. No. I'm just joking. It's 12 bucks. Are you fucking serious? Yeah, it's all you owe about $12. Oh, that's not bad at all. I think I have $12.

You have $12? Yeah, I can take that and then... You just, like, put it in a... Oh, and a tip, and a tip. $2 and $20? Yeah, can I Venmo you back? Yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah.

Well, just send it in a check in the mail in a couple months. Wait, $20, $12 is what you owe. I'll Venmo you back. So give me a second. Yeah. All right, well, he does that. I'll get Vemmo you back at $8. Yeah, yeah.

And accountant, Tommy, did you... Do you have anything, do you have any hobbies that you want to tell people about? Or places where people can. See you do accounting work? You do live accounting? Yeah, if you want to see more of my accounting work, you can follow me on Instagram, Tommy Bear Time, and Twitter, too. Where you do tons of accounting shit, yeah? Yeah, I thought I had some change in here.

Let me check the bottom pocket. Yeah, maybe in there. No, I swear I put it in this front pocket. You put change in your pocket? Yeah, yeah. Can you feel it through? the jacket? Yeah, it's like,

it's like, what the hell? I can't get it, I can't reach. Can you try reach it in there my pocket? Oh, be careful! Oh, I'm just kidding, man. Is there anything in there? You're going to pull up enough, man. Do you feel that in there?

I don't know. I kind of feel it, yeah, I don't know. What pocket is that? I'm not sure. What the hell is going on? I put change in there, man. I swear to God. Okay.

All right, well, We hope to see you again, but not until next year, huh? Yeah. Thanks for coming. You can say that again. Thank you for having me. All right, bye. Bye.

Bye.