Podcast About List - Ep. 236 - Mommy's Gone: Three

Episode Date: April 5, 2023

Mommy's gone, boys will play, No need to worry, it's a sunny day. Time to party, let loose and be wild, No need to worry about being mild. We'll play games, and sing some songs, No need to worry about doing things wrong. We'll eat junk food, and stay up late, No need to worry about our fate. Mommy's gone, but that's okay, We'll have fun and make the most of today. Watch the full video for this episode youtube.com/@PodcastAboutList Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

That was a brawlick-ass-clap. What does brolic mean again? I thought that made it cold. I think I'm saying it right, too. Braulick? It's not brolic. Yeah, it's brolic. I'll lick.

I'll lick a bra right now. You'll lick the bra on the Forest Avenue stop. You've seen that one? New York, stand up. New York stand the fuck up What are you talking about? Forest Ave M train stop There's been a bra there for months in a tree

And you're you think that's hot A tree wearing a bra No you don't under something really bad Probably happened for a bra to get all the way up there Somebody was confused I'm thinking of a tree wearing a bra I don't know what kind of thing you're thinking of I'm thinking that somebody got confused

And took their bra off What if they took their bra off? What if they took their braw? The guys started getting undressed thinking that they were in their house. What if it was a blind woman? Yeah. And a blind woman felt the tree. Well, there's also a clothesline.

This feels exactly like my closet. There's a clothes line on that station. Well, then you're burying the fucking lead. Wait, at the state. Who lives in the, there's a clothes line on the windows. Oh. You've seen this one. No.

You've been to that stop. Not every day, bro. Not every fucking day. Speaking of it. It's every day, bro. It's every day. Speaking of it. I've been listening to some.

Let's get some prime. I've been listening to some... Let's pause right now. No. They're hard to find, dude. They're really hard to find a new one. What are you talking about? I can't find them anywhere.

I find them fucking everywhere. Okay, well, he hooked me up with a line on a prime. Because I really like a bopsicle flavor. There's one by my apartment. Really? Bodega. I think I, do they have the red, white, and blue one? I've seen it around.

I've been pretty obsessed with Jake Paul's music, or Logan Paul's music recently. Yeah. He has that song called 20-20, fuck you, fuck you, 2020 or something? I haven't heard that one. You never heard that? No. Oh my God, it's good.

Can you pull that up? Can we see this one? Can you pull up, fuck you, 2020? Or maybe it's not. It might not be called fucking, there is a, I would say there are a lot of songs called fuck you 2020. I would say that is more the, the, uh, theme of the song. Logan Paul 2020.

Of course, it's just called 20. Okay, let's hear this. But basically he, uh, he tackles a lot of, do you remember how shitty that year was, bro? Bro, don't even, I went through the worst breakup of my life. it really did it was bad 2020 was not chill at all wait skip to the

mask on my face yeah way oh my god this a year I don't want to remember wow Karen lost her shit

Amazon is lit I buy stock in that bitch damn that's right you got bars yeah so he basically Coachella got dude this is literally

9-11. Cochella getting canceled was 9-11 for Jake Paul. Yeah. It was pretty bad, I would say. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of the Coachella lineup this year. Did it get lit? My friend, the kid Leroy. We should link up with the kid Leroy. I've been trying, dude. I've been trying to get him on the pod. He did Adam 22. He'll do us. Yeah? Yeah, dude. We're way fucking cooler than Adam 20. I got tattoos. You look like lean to the plug. Uh-huh. If we put a skim on you? I got tattoos. If we put skims on you? I have two tattoos.

Three tattoos. I have the Dr. Evil one here and then the spider weapon. Okay, what do you want a fucking ink award? I want to get more ink. I want to ink my whole body. I don't give a motherfuck. Remember that son? No.

Do you remember snapbacks and tattoos? Bro. If you get... That's what I'm trying to be on... Wait. I don't want to see you covered into it. That would break my heart. I regret every tattoo I have.

I look like a fucking... You don't think this looks sick? No, that does look sick. The snapback is a good look on you. I like this. I've always like the snapback on you. Wait. The tattoo, you gotta roll both up

or people know what you're doing. I only have one tattoo. I know, but you gotta roll both sleeves up. I got two. No, you're not. Imagine, okay, imagine like a moody black and white photo of me like this. That might be.

I look like whiz. Okay, well, that'd be cool. Yeah. And then you could do like OWG-I-F-C. That could be your album. What's that? Only white guy in four.

first class. You can do that. That would be cool. Yeah. That would be cool. Yeah. I think that's the type of shit I'm trying to be on this year. I'm trying to bring back like a 2014 style swag or 2013 style swag.

I would say you have a 2013 style. You've never left that world. No, dude. You guys, okay, you guys made fun of me for my hat that I've been wearing. You know, my 50, the 50-year-old hat. That is terrible, bro. Okay. You've been making me.

fun of me for that and I'm going to say it because mommy's gone and he's not here to defend himself so you're about to talk shit about Cameron's hat I'm about to talk shit about a hat that he's worn for a long time it's the golden retriever hat is no it's a different one remember when we first started the podcast and he had a hat that said pogg hmm damn he wore that every fucking day oh get him uh-huh yo that was whack he wore that every single day do me now what do I wear that's poop you used to have hair yeah that's some real shit no you can't you're not gonna find this hat this is this is before we is before we took photos man i think you might be able to find that hat Cameron used to be

such a pretty lady uh-huh back when we first started dating now he looks like a man when we first started dating or for this is i mean when we first started uh this is Cameron yeah well he looks good uh guys you couldn't tell that was a hand embroidered hat by himself i think Wait, look at that fucking ice cream photo. That's of me, though. That's an awful photo. You look like an uncle in that show dinosaurs that Jim Henson. It does look very lizardy.

Guys, if you couldn't tell, mommy is completely gone. There's no mommy anywhere to be seen. Mommy's gone. Wait, wait, where's mommy? Is Mommy under here? Mommy don't know that mommy's gone. Mm-hmm, keep on. And mommy's gone.

No. It's the third time we've done this. Mommy don't know that her sons are on, on the podcast now, and she's in Mexico. Mexicali. He went to Tijuana because he was going to be in a donkey show. He's not in a donkey show. Wait, one of the ones where they get a fucker, they fuck a fuck. He's the donkey.

They donkey fuck. He's the donkey. Oh, well, that'd be lucky then. Because don't you fuck a lady? Isn't that the whole point of the donkey shows? You get the hottest lady. I thought that it's a guy fucking a donkey. A female donkey?

Yeah. What's the fun of that? Nobody likes, nobody wants to see that. You don't know that. I do know that. Nobody wants to see, even Mr. Hans, he's even the one where the guy is fucking an animal. The guy gets fucked by the animal. You do know Mr. Hans, the video of him getting fucked, that's not when he died.

No, he didn't die. No, he was a success. That video is a success. That's not the snuff. That is an amazing success. But then there was another one. They deleted the tape or it was like used as evidence or something. Yeah, probably both of those.

Yeah, probably. Yeah. Used his evidence against the horse. Yeah. They were like, this horse is a murderer. Yeah, it's a horse. This horse is a murdering piece of shit. What do they do with the horse?

Is that a horse at a petting zoo now? Is that horse giving little kids like their first riding lesson? They probably took that horse to horse therapy. The horse doesn't know that it fucking killed a guy with its massive cock, right? I think it knew. Maybe. I think that that horse was like, all right, they keep making me. You thought it was on purpose.

Uh-huh. You thought it was premeditated. That horse had a look in its eyes. Yeah. I've never seen Mr. Hans. That's the one I haven't seen. I've seen pretty much all of those. I've seen almost none of the ones where people get hurt.

I've never seen the one guy's one jar. I've never seen the two guys in a hammer. That's the one that my neighbor showed me when it was nine. You watched two guys with a hammer when you were one? Nine. Or nine? Yeah. My neighbor would like, he used to make works bombs.

Well, one in a bottle. You put all the aluminum full. with the work's clear. Yes, yes, yes, I'm familiar. He used to make those, and then he was a kid in the neighborhood who had the dune buggy, and he took, by the way, when you say, when you say neighbor, I think me and everybody else who's listening, when you say I was a kid and my neighbor showed me, I'm thinking a grown man.

He was my sister's age, so when I was nine, he was four years older than me. So he was 13, so he was a kid. He was 13. Yeah, he's a kid. Well, he's old in my head. So it's not his fault. that he, like, showed you something crazy. Like, he didn't think about that.

He thought it was, he thought he was going to impress you. Yeah. Yeah. He was like the dune buggy kid. My version of that is that I saw the Scary Maze game. Yeah. And that, honestly, probably... That's not as fucked up.

Two guys, One Hamers, just a... It's just a snuff film. It's a scary maze game is a... It scares... It's a scary enough film. I think that's a dead body. It's a real photo of a dead body on Scary Maze game. So, explain that.

And also the scream is probably also taken from a woman being killed. The scream, it's like a, it's like a blowout situation. Exactly, yeah. Where they recorded that scream from an actual dying woman. Yeah, I think that's true. Yeah. Oh, damn. I'm sorry if you haven't seen Blowout.

You spoiled the concept. I spoiled the whole movie. I don't think that's a whole movie. That's the ending of Blowout. Really? I haven't seen it. I only saw it. You did spoil it for me.

That's such a good movie. That's such a good movie. Is that Michael Mann? No, that is Brian De Palma. Brad De Palma. Brian de Blah. Yeah. Tommy De Palma.

Strega Nona. Let's make that a movie. What's Strega Nona? It's a book about a Nona who keeps making a bunch of pasta. I want to slag your Nona. You're not going to Streg my Nona? No, I want a slag my Nona? Slag my Nona?

I'm a slag. Or your Mona. Slag is F, right? I think Slag is F. Okay. Yeah. All right. You're going to F my grandma?

It's about what I'm getting at, yeah. We're going to put this in American English. You're going to F my grandma. I'm not as comfortable saying it in In Samuel Adams English I'll say it in the Kings English all day But in Sam Adams English In Washington's English

I'm not as comfortable saying it No I'll say it in Spanish Yeah Suabulita Is me Comerculo

Yeah exactly I'm going to eat your girl must be Yeah What the hell? That would be so disrespectful. Is there constantly a bar falling on you on this side of the table? Yeah, do you ever see me fucking complain about anything? No.

No. Well, I have a nail that I play with. Is that what you're always... I always think you're touching your penis. No, I'm just touching the tip of the nail. Really? Wow. I have to do something about that.

That is really sharp. Oh, my God. Well, that's from grip tape. Oh, okay. Well, don't show to me. Don't say, see my thumb. It's calloused enough that I can just touch that with my thumb and nothing happens. There is a few times where it has punctured it,

And I don't know if you can probably scrobble back through a couple of episodes. There's a few where I go like, I thought you felt something good about your balls of your penis, so you did that. I'm fully putting my phone on that nail. That's not so smart, Patrick. I'm going to be. No, but it's in front of me, so I have to touch it. And if you guys were wondering, I went today with the unsweetened bold green tea.

It's a stuff my girlfriend drinks. I never tried this one before. This I think is probably going to keep me up all night, so I'm a little bit worried about it. I went with the Monster Sunrise, which has a little bit more caffeine than a usual monster. This has 165. What's something that when Mummy is here, she looks down on? Well, I'm talking about the visual stuff. Well, yeah, but we already did that.

And now that I think about it, it's probably not a good idea. Yeah, it's definitely not a good idea. What is a topic that Mummy always shuts down because she maybe thinks it's too obtuse? That's a word she would use. Yeah. I don't even know. I can't put myself in mummy's clothes Well, we do that when she's gone

We've been doing it basically the whole weekend That she's been out of town on a work trip Oh my God, yeah I wear her Pog hat Yeah Yeah Is that on this one or did we delete that part? By the way, when Cameron isn't here

We instantly fail all the time Because of your quote five minutes Somehow we have a five minute episode That is just never going to see the light of day So that was Mummies gone three So this is four now. This is four already. So we'll call it Mummy's Gone Four. Yeah.

We have a five-minute Mummy's Gone Three. Yeah, probably won't ever see the light of day. It was mostly us trying to figure out. I was mostly adjusting levels and looking up pictures. But we got that out of the way. And now we're back in a real podcast. Let's talk about, let's rate all the girls we know. That would piss Mummy off so bad.

Yeah. Just girls that we have never had on the podcast. No. Girls that we barely. even have talked to. We don't like... We've met a couple times. Yeah, met once or twice. Yeah, and just, let's just say like five. Out of five? No, out of ten. Let's just like randomly

to these girls, say like five or five or four. I don't think we should do that. You know what? You know what we can do. We could rate the guys though. I have a, I do have, because Mommy's gone. Yeah. Okay. I do have something for you. What the hell? What is it? I saw this at the store today. I was I was out. I was on a shopping spree. Okay.

I don't remember. With her credit card? With Mommy's credit card. Bro, chill. I don't remember if we already talked about my shopping spree. You went on a shopping spree. I went on a shopping spree. You got skateboard stuff.

It's not that important. Yeah, not really important at all. What's important is that I went on a shopping spree. I saw this thing. Okay. You're making me so nervous, man. And I said, I looked at it and I said to myself immediately, this is so Caleb.

It's not even funny. I really was hoping that you would say when you said that you looked at it, you said something, I was really hoping it would be this is so Caleb because I've never had anybody give me something and say like,

I wanted to buy this because it's so you. So I'm actually getting, I'm like almost a tearing up at the... Okay, close your eyes. Close your eyes. Okay. Should I hold my hands out or if you even fit in my hands?

Yeah. Okay. Just put that. Can I open it? I want to just put it on. I'll just put it on first. Yeah. Okay.

Now. Oh, wait. That's my initials. That is his initials. C.B. Uh-huh. That is so dope. I saw this and I was like, yep.

I love this. Uh-huh. I love this. This is amazing. Yeah? I love this. Why don't you change hats? Take the hat off.

Take the hat off. Take the hat under off and then change it to the new one. See, now everyone will know. Damn. Everyone's going to look at you wearing this, and they're going to be like... Wait, who that? Who that? Oh, that's CP.

Oh, that's CP. Coming down the street. Yo, I'm seeing CP everywhere. He's over there. He's all around the city. I was just watching CP on Twitch. Yeah, exactly. Damn, C.P. Just popped up on Instagram live.

Let's tap in, dude. We have to tap in. C.P. and P.E. Doran. P.E. Doe. are just... I just saw it on CP and P.E. O'R and Thriller. I just saw them on Triller. C.P. on Periscope, that's me. You ever see me pop up on Periscope?

You'll be going, Mom. I just saw CP on Periscope. And it was fucking amazing. Man, I bought that. And the lady behind the counter at the store that I bought that. She said, oh, Caleb Pitts. I put the first item down. Yeah.

My new crooks. That's how you do it. You put one item down at a time and then you build to the funniest one as you go? No. How do you do it? I just put it down. She picked them up and went, oh, my God, I love these. Then picked that up and looked at it and went and just put it in a bag and just stopped talking about it.

Wow. How much was this hat? I don't even want to say. It was way too much. Yeah? I would say it's worth it because I had badass initials. Guess. Guess how much it is?

Guess how much it is? $11. more than that you spent on my CP hat 15 20 no way you're joking 25 30 30 no 35 40 40 50 60 50 50 50 50 50 this hat was 58 dollars

mm-hmm I can't believe I believe that I was like it feels nice It feels like a nice hat. That hat was like $7. I have no idea. I don't know because it was at like a fucking Beacons closet or whatever. I have no idea who somebody came in with that hat.

And they were like, we have to buy this. This thing is so fucking badass, too. We need to buy this so quick. Dude, I didn't know we were doing gifts. I would have got you something. Well, it's fine that you didn't get me a gift, I guess. You should get a matching hat that's your first initial, second initial, in the first two letters of your last name.

I think that'd be an amazing combo. And then we got initials hat. We got the C.P.N. P.O. hats. What's up? Well, he did give me that hat that has the adjustable. Oh, yeah. You can just put that on that. I could put my initials on that.

Yeah, and we just rock like this. Uh-huh. Yeah. And that would be kind of, it would be C.P. and Petto in the morning. And we'll be doing like morning zoo stuff. Yeah. It's not a bad idea. Uh-huh. Well, that was amazing.

See, I haven't bought anything good recently. Yeah? I'm trying to think of what I've been. You know what I've been doing all week? What have you been up to you? Every single day I eat a pound of ground beef. You're doing that? No, no, I eat it with other stuff.

Okay. But it's just a cheap way to eat a lot of meat. And so I've been eating. You're trying to bulk up? Trying to get as big as a fucking truck. You know what? What? Could help you out.

More meat? No. Working out instead of just... I just eat the meat and play the meat. I don't work out. You know, it could help you out. What? But I don't even think.

I think I can talk about it. You're talking about me? You think I should pop my legs. What is that mean? Pop them. What do you mean by that? Do you think I want to fuck you for it to gain weight? For you to gain weight?

You want to pop me. I don't think I want to, no. You want to beat me. I can't talk about it because someone in here on the production side may not want to acknowledge it for some reason. Oh, wait. Wait a second. Okay. So this is actually very interesting.

Yep. Do you have this pulled up somewhere? I have it on my phone. I can bring it up. Okay. So Patrick, I did ask Patrick, because I've already told Patrick this. It's all fake. Like any revelation that I, Patrick already knows everything about me.

Yeah. So when I tell him that I've been eating ground beef, he already is one step ahead. And he actually designed the entire meal plan for me. Uh-huh. And I'll let you explain it. Okay. So what it is is a 10-day healthy eating challenge. Yes.

that will revolutionize, I mean, not revolutionize or anything, it's mostly just, I know, it will usurize, it will usonize, it will ushionize, and it will, I know you're trying to bulk up. I'm trying to get as big as a sun. You're trying to become gymongous.

I'm doing to be. Which is a combination of gigantic and humongous. I didn't even catch that. Yeah, gymongous. Wow. Write that one down, Urban Dictionary. Yeah, put that in the urban, in the U.D. Jymongous.

Yeah, that's going to be probably the new big word. So this is the, this is the 10-day healthy eating. challenge okay yeah so let me hear i haven't heard this yet he just said he told me that he did it and by the way we tried to bring this up to jubio for some reason he like doesn't want to have anything he just won't even look at me and i talk so patrick and him have been beefing they have not been talking to speak you know speak i have to text him through a telegram he's been texting me well he's been texting me to text jubio he said here i'll i'll read it uh do you have that pulled up though yeah i have it i have it right ready Patrick said i'm not talking to jubio until he

recognizes my challenge. I'm at the office. He sent me, I'm at the office so that I could let Jubio know that we're ready. That we're ready. So here's the 10-day healthy eating challenge. Okay. Breakfast. Fruit salad with a mix of seasonal fruits. One candy cane.

Lunch. A green salad with leafy greens, mixed veggies, and grilled chicken. Okay. Snack. A handful of raw almonds and a cup of green tea, which... I already have a cup of green tea. He's already got it. This is sounding so healthy so far. Dinner. Baked salmon, roasted veggies, one candy can. That looks up.

That sounds amazing. Yeah. Day two. Scrambled eggs with whole grain toast, avocado slices, one candy cane. A quinoa salad with cherry tomatoes as a lunch. Cucumber, feta cheese, and a light vinaigrette, one candy cane.

For a snack, a sliced apple with almond butter. Dinner, grilled chicken breasts with steamed broccoli and brown rice. Two candy canes. Wait, are you saying candy can? Yeah. Day three. A smoothie bowl with Greek yogurt, mixed berries and granola, two candy canes.

lunch a turkey and avocado wrap with a whole grain tortilla snack grilled your carrot sticks and hummus dinner shrimp skewers with mixed grilled veggies four candy canes okay wait can I just stop you really quickly this sounds to me like a lot of seafood so far well that's because of the proteins okay that's fine yeah continue sorry what day was I on three you just finished three okay day four a veggie omelet with spinach mushrooms and peppers, two candy canes, lunch, a lentil suit with whole grain crackers, two candy canes, snack, two candy canes, dinner. Grilled salmon with mixed veggies and a side salad, two candy canes. Day five, breakfast,

Greek yogurt with mixed berries and honey, three candy canes. Lunch, a grilled chicken salad with mixed greens, avocados, and cherry tomatoes, two candy canes. Snack, one candy cane. Dinner, grilled steak with roasted sweet potatoes and green beans, four candy canes. Day six, oatmeal with almond milk, sliced banana and cinnamon, three candy canes.

lunch, a turkey and cheese sandwich on whole grain bread with mixed veggies, three candy cans. I can't eat bread. I can't eat bread. I can go gluten-free. I'm sorry. Maybe you can just get, like, green-free, yeah, yeah. Snack, sliced cucumber with Sizeky sauce, three candy canes. Those don't go together.

What? I don't, I'm never going to eat sliced cucumber with Sizu Keky. Well, there's already sliced cucumber. It just doesn't go together. Okay, so I guess just a spoonful of Sizki and three-Sikis. You would eat chips with Sizki. Or put it on something. I'm not going to use it like, why would I add more cucumber?

Okay. All right. Sorry. That's fair. Dinner, baked chicken breast with roasted Brussels sprouts and three candy canes. Day seven, a veggie scramble with spinach, onions, and tomato, three candy canes, lunch, a tuna salad with mixed greens and whole grain crackers. Three candy canes. A three candy canes.

A handful of walnut, three candy canes. Dinner, grilled shrimp tacos with gluten-free tortillas, avocado, and canned. Candy Cain Salsa, 5 Candy Cain Salsa. Day 8. A smoothie with Greek yogurt, mixed berries, spinach, and almond milk. Lunch, a quinoa and black bean bowl with avocado and salsa. Oh, this is my favorite day so far. Snack.

Sliced apple with peanut butter. Dinner. Baked salmon with steamed green beans and 16th candy can beans. Okay. Day 9. Okay. There's two more days. It's the 10-day healthy eating.

Oh, you're right. I forgot how many days. Day nine, scrambled eggs with whole-grained toast and four candy canes. Lunch, a Greek salad mixed greens, feted cheese, olives, and four candy canes. Snack. Six candy canes. Dinner, four candy canes. Day 10.

Oh, five candy canes. Wait, that's the breakfast? Breakfast, five candy canes. Lunch. Five candy canes. Snack. A grilled and Caesar salad

with whole grain groutons. For dinner, 10 candy kids. Wow. So that's the 10-day healthy eating challenge. I would barely call that a diet

because it seems like I would be able to eat everything I want. I'm a diet. So I don't know. And for some reason, Juvio is so apprehensive to acknowledge. acknowledge this.

What? Whoa, okay. And now he's lashing out. Now he's lashing out with his production stuff. Great. We get it. You're God.

Okay. Yeah, we get it. You're in control of us all the time constantly. Great. Yeah. Don't do that. Don't make it flash.

Don't make the word racist flash. Don't make it flash over me. Jubio, can you, why are you so apprehensive to even acknowledge the 10-day about this? Because this is, this is complete nonsense.

You're not a serious person. How is that not How is that unsteered? A grilled chicken Caesar salad With whole grain croutons This guy doesn't like Shrimp skewers Or something

Yeah Is it because of the seafood? There is a lot of seafood I will say that If you're not into That's true Are you like allergic to shell fit Because I'm

I'm just not going to acknowledge it Until you do it Okay Okay I'll do it Me and Caleb will do the 10 day Healthy eating challenge Fuck it I'll do it right now I'll do the whole, I'll do all 10 days.

Look, he's already starting with the green tea. Yeah, guess who started it today? Uh-huh. Me. Yep. And I'm about to get shredded. He's about to get swollen as fuck. This is going to be the new Weight Watchers, the new Atkins diet.

Yeah, and if you're not on this, on this ship right now. Yeah, you're about to be. You're about to be, because it's about to set sail. Yeah. And you could lose upwards of fucking 40 pounds in a month doing this. You know who did it? Who? I don't know.

wait wait hold on you are looking suspiciously trim what'd you clock in at today on the scale 110 110 pounds because of this new diet yeah because of the 10 day healthy eating challenge i have to fucking tell you you lose 10 pounds in 10 days you weighed 120 before this yeah wow well i started this months ago oh so you've been doing it for many 10 i've been doing it a long ass time. I used to weigh, guess how much I used to weigh? How much? 380.

380 pounds you used to weigh. At my heaviest. At 5 foot 5.5. Yeah. You weighed 380. Or whatever. You weighed 380 pounds. That's mighty hefty.

But you've been doing it, and this is what a lot of people don't understand about diet. You can't, if you do these crash diets, you're going to fail. You're going to fail because as soon as you get to the end of that low-carb, 1,000 calorie a day diet, you're going to immediately. And this, this, the craziest thing, the craziest thing about this diet, every single day. Yeah. Every single, like, because I didn't even talk about portion size or whatever. Every single day, you are eating close to 5,000 calories a day.

Really? Yeah. But. Because of the portion sizes. But it tricks your body into thinking that you're hibernating. So it needs to, it needs to, so it's going to trick your body. So it's going to start burning. It's like ketosis.

Yeah. You're burning, it's burning fat. because it thinks you're, like, dead as sleep. Some kind of canosis that puts you into. Yeah. So that's what I love about this diet also is that it's, you kind of can eat what you want, but there's so much protein in it. That's the trick of the diet.

There's so much protein in it that your body is, protein is a most thermogenic macronutrient. Did you know that? I'm a nutritionist. Oh, and I know you are. I know you are. So, of course, you know that. So you're eating all this protein, and so your body is just burning, it takes more calories to burn that, to use

that energy, to process that energy. Yeah. So it really is... You're telling me stuff I learned in... I mean, I'm just explaining for these lay people, right? Where did you learn that, by the way? Lakes Region Community College in Laconian, New Hampshire. Where you studied nutrition. Or a studied nutrition, yeah. Wow. Yeah. See, and I think the only thing that's lacking here is some

kind of accompanying workout plan that we could sell on a DVD. That is such a good fucking point. You know? Maybe something... That is an amazing point. And that kind of brings me to my idea. which is a full workout. Uh-huh.

Full workout plan that really just entails you every single day. All I want you to do is spend about four hours skiing. Every day. If you spend about four hours skiing, you will see. Honestly, this is perfect for, I mean, you know, I don't know if you know anything about New Hampshire. But we have the White Mountains. Oh, yeah, that's amazing. I could have been skiing every single day.

Yeah. When I was studying this program. Yeah. I could have been going up to. To Killington, I could have been going up to Loon and just skiing my fucking ass off. Four, five, six hours a day. And that's, by the way, that's, and a lot of people think of skiing as just a workout. Uh-huh.

I think that eventually you get kind of a skiing high. Oh, yeah. Where you've been skiing for so long that you start feeling good and actually enjoying it. There is footage, and I think you may remember it. There is footage of a man skiing so much that his body was set on fire from how much he was skiing because of the friction. Really? To the friction, yeah. Well, that's the danger of a skiing high, I think.

And they use the clip in the intro to Malcolm in the middle. That's the danger of the skiing high. Which, I mean, you know, that's why you need. So, I mean, you see the footage of that guy. Look at him. He's skinny as a twig. Yeah. He's skinny as a twig.

Because he's already burned all his calories and now the body's just burning itself. Uh-huh. But that's because he's not on this diet. Yeah. Because you lose 10 pounds in 10 days, yes. But when you combine it with skiing, you're building up muscle. He's not like... Total body recomposition is what they call that.

He's not getting, like, any muscle at all. all He, the guy is not muscular. He's almost as skinny as his ski. And he seems like a fucking twat the way that he acts

in the video. He's a total douche nozzle. He seems like a tawad. He seems like a tawd. He's a fucking fuckwad. He's a fuck stick. I just don't like him that much. I'd call him

fuck face fun clown stick. Yeah, if I was into that now thing. Clown sticks. Because he's holding two ski sticks. Did you know that I always thought that that was Trevor Noah that came up with that. That was John Stewart

that said fuck face fun clowns. Oh, yeah. I've seen that. Dude. John. John, don't hurt him. Don't hurt him, John. He's already down.

Don't kick him while he's down. I was under the emperor. He's in jail right now. And I just thought John, I didn't even know John Sir did comedy. I thought he was a director. Yeah. And then it turns out that he actually completely owned Donald Trump. The president, no less.

And I had to go to the New York court today to settle some business. I'm not going to get so into that. That's my personal stuff. Which is why I gave you your gift. Yeah, which is very, very nice of you. Thank you. But there was a million people there. And they all had the cameras pointed, and I said, guys.

No photos. It's not that big of a deal. No photos, please. It's not, everybody parks in front of a school bus every once in a while, right? You don't have to come and take all these celebrity photos of me. They were waiting because, I mean, you can't see what he's wearing under this table, but they were trying to get that snatch shot. They did.

They were waiting to see his sliz while he's getting out of his escalate. I did actually get street fashion photoed today. Really? Yeah, and the guy, it was while I was running because I was late for an appointment at the court. And a guy took a photo. I, like, saw him. I was like, dude, this guy's going to, he's going to at least talk to me or look at me. Like, you know when you just see, like, a dorky white guy and you're like, this guy's going to be way too comfortable.

Yeah. And, like. Stopping you. Yeah. I got stopped today, too. A guy said, we're trying to stop people who look friendly. And I said, man, I can't do this right now. It was that kind of thing.

It's like the only reason this guy would be in this area is because he's doing something where he wants to stop guys and stop them and get in their way. And so I'm running and he takes a photo of me like out of nowhere and says, there he is. And dude, I lost my shit. Yeah, you screamed at him? No. I just got, I ran even though. But basically for me, that's losing my shit. Yeah.

Yeah. A lot of people would assume. that I'm somebody who gets into traffic and is, I'm honking the horn. I'm scared to go outside. I'm scared to go outside. Yeah. I don't want to be out there.

Uh-huh. Every time I go outside, I'm thinking. Agoraphobia. Is that what is, you have? Uh, I thought that was something about going underwater. No. But I am going outside every single day. I'm scared of Antifa and Maltaxon cocktails.

Especially today. Yeah, at the New York City courthouses. And the thing is, I look. like Trump, let's be real. I look pretty similar. If you had his hair... If I had his hair and his... You look exactly like him.

Pretty much like Dead Ringer. And I had a hat on so they couldn't tell. So that's what I was a little bit worried about is maybe some sort of assassin-style killer was going to walk up to me and say, this one's for freeing Kodak black and put ten bullets into my chest. Yeah.

But luckily, it was just a nerd took a photo of me. That's what happens in New York. It's basically. as crazy as... Just this fucking crazy melting pot? It is fucking crazy, dude. Speaking of melting pots

and diets, food. Here, we have a list today. Oh, yeah. We have a list today. Please pull up the list. No, we don't want that photo. These are the top ten crazy ways to get free food

in the UK. Wait! This says weird stuff on it. Yep, it's weird stuff. It's definitely. weird stuff. This is amazing because we do a lot of these lists and a lot of people say you can't use these as sources

when we submit these for peer review and stuff. Yeah. But this is actually, luckily, this has been fact-checked. Look at that bottom right corner. Fact-checked by Jamie Frater. Jamie Frater, who if you know anything about fact-checked, this guy is the Pinocchio giver of Pinocchio's. Jamie Frater is basically the truth rate. They call him Jamie Frater the truth-rater.

Yeah, they do go on that. And he's been working as a Pinocchio giver for night and day. Night and day. For one night and one day. So he's basically an expert. So let's get into this. Yeah.

So this is the top 10 crazy ways to get free food in the UK. Yeah. Some say there's no such thing as a free meal, but those people just haven't tried hard enough. Let me tell you real quick, guess who says there's no such thing as a free meal? Who?

The Tories. Yep. Those fucking bell ends. We have Dunkin' Donuts Mike's today. Holy-bye. And we're about to dunk on these donuts in the UK. Oh, dude. With our fucking riffs.

You fucking donut. Okay. You fucking donut. The ancient Romans said that the public could be entertained with bread and circuses and giving away free food has always been a good way to ensure popularity. Over the centuries in the UK, over the centuries the UK has built up a large number of traditions that result some lucky people ending up with free food. Wow. 2020 has been a tough year for everyone. So here are the top 10 ways you can get fed for free.

Logan Paul. Logan Paul. We circled it back. Yeah. We circled that shit back. All right. Let's look at number 10 here. St. Briavelles.

What's that? That is a church in St. Bribeville's. You will get pelted with bread and cheese because of some tradition. A vicar is invited to deliver a sermon in which they only get paid if the congregation cheers at the end. Then in tradition dating from the 12th century, the locals take baskets containing small, cubes of cheese and bread to the top of the wall known as the pound wall and dough climbers

then gather at the base of the wall and wait for the food to rain down on them. Some people use upturned umbrellas to ensure that they catch something without the food touching the ground. They are so stupid. This is some fucking Wallace and Gromit bullshit. Use a bucket. Use a

trampoline to bounce the food back up. Into your house. Uh-huh. These people are dumb as dumb morons. They're dense. I'll say it. They are dense. Strangely, most don't actually eat the bread or cheese. They're not even eating the fucking food.

They put them in little match boxes like they're borrowers. This is the barrow. This town, St. Breivale's, should be called the borrower's large. The borrower, what do you mean like they're big borrowers? Yeah. But that's not a borrower at all. What would a borrower's ice box look like? A matchbox with a tiny ice cube in it.

Oh, that's true. Uh-huh. Yeah. and they put them under their pillows. They put the cheese and stuff under their pillows to allow people to dream about the future. Man, honestly, this country is over. This country, our country, the UK, is over.

It's completely over. I don't want anything to do with it anymore. Can you imagine? Can you imagine being like the ruling empire for years? Yeah, I can imagine that. And you're doing all this kind of dumbass little bullshit with umbrellas and cheese. Dude, they just fell off in such.

a major way. They fell off hard. They used to go into every single country. They used to make the Irish slaves. They would slave the Irish. They would go into the Indians. They would go to every pretty much every single country was their slave. At one point and they had every single island and they were sitting there and they were eating

coconuts and shit. And they all were dressed up like they like monopoly clothes. And then the whole place fell off and now you have what Sherlock Benedict Cumberbatch? Yep. That's pretty much all they have. They're one export. Fuck that guy. Yep. I don't And also, oh.

He looks like, he smells like milk. Guess what we made? A witty show. Suck my balls. You know what? They do. Hey, here's an idea in the UK. Okay, what are TV channels in America?

What are they? 200. 206. 200, 206 AMC Comedy Central, right? They have names. Yeah. And we have a lot more. Channel 5.

Shut the fuck up. Channel 4. The Beebe. Yeah. The Bebe fucking kill yourself, bro. The Bebes. It's worse than Bebeber-ass TV shows. It's worse than that.

Uh-huh. I just think if you're going to make a TV channel and purport to be somebody who's creative enough that somebody should watch what you make, I think you can come up with something a little better than a number. Am I right? But that Mr. Bean is funny, though.

Mr. Bean is above every, the whole thing. Mr. Bean is the last thing that they did. He's not British, he's Bean. That's what I think. He's trying to say he's everybody. He's everyone. There's a Mr. Bean in every country. Oh, yeah, except America.

Yeah. Who is America's Mr. Bean? I don't know Oh Oh That's stupid Number nine Farthing Loaf Day

Yeah Farting Loaf day In regards to your king That farting loaf Who's your king now Charles Chuck That's what I call

If I met him You know I'm such a fucking Get a beer With these guys type dude I'm such a salt of the earth guy I'd mean to say hey

Nice to meet you Chuck I'm Caleb Yeah And he'd probably He'd probably be like Oh, heavens. He walked. Yeah.

He'd do that. He wouldn't even say anything on. Did you see the video of the inbred people? No, I got to look that one. Dude, it's fucking really bad. Was it nice seeing your family on TV? So what's Farthing Loaf Day? In Kidmermeister, an old widow

on Church Street left a sum of money in her will to ensure there is always a sense of community on the street. Unfortunately, the name of this job Generous old maid has been forgotten. On midsummer Eve, anyone who is born on the street was welcome to come and join a feast that was known as Farthing Loaf Day. Unfortunately, the money ran out due to bad investment, but John Brecknell of Church Street, whose name is remembered, left 150 pounds to the charity in 1776. Yeah, 1776, the year they lost their greatest colony.

That's right. Fuck y'all. He wanted a tub penny plum cake. God, a tub penny plum cake. He wanted a tum penny plump cake to be given to every child and unmarried woman. woman on the street as well as the bread he also gave pipes tobacco and ale to the men who he met in friendship wow that's adorable a tupp penny plum cake how fucked up is it that these days you can't even leave money on the street for people to take because people will take it people

will take it and they will they will spend money on tut penny plum cakes yeah when there should there should be given out for free what's a tu penny that's two any is half a penny oh it's half no that's a hey penny that's me with my fucking neighbor yeah hey penney yeah hey peni any? I don't know. Number eight, Tishbourne Dole. What's that? Well, we'll find out. You can't just say all the...

I mean, just get to it. Tishbourne Dole. When Lady Mabella Tishbourne lay dying in the 13th century, she asked her husband for a relatively minor favor, distribute food to the poor. Her husband agreed, but on one somewhat harsh condition, he would provide land for corn to be grown on that, to be grown on that would be used to make bread for the,

the needy. This must be Queen's English spelling. Yeah. Or I may honestly just have dyslexia. Yeah, I mean, I'm looking at it right now, and I'm going to be completely real with you, Patrick. Everything is spelled in a normal American way. Yeah. And you made these, the text just about as big as it would go.

Yeah. So, uh, I forgot my glasses because I, again, was on a shopping spree, and I found an amazing hat for you. Yeah, that was very, very sweet of you. Uh, he would provide land for corn to be grown on that would be used to make bread for the needy, He would only provide as much land as a sick lady could crawl around while holding a burning torch. Miraculously, Lady Mabella managed to cover 23 acres,

and that land is still known as the crawls today and provides flowers for the Tishbourne Dole, which is given out on every Lady Day. This is the worst country in the world. The Tishbourne Dole given out on Lady Day. Lady Day. In the past loaves of bread were given out, but today anyone who tends will be given a measure of flour to bake with for themselves. Wow, so they even downgraded it. It went woke.

Yeah. They woke to it because they're like, they went woke. What if somebody has a gluten intolerance allergy? Yep. Right? Mess the hell up. I'd like to dump a bunch of, you know what I would love to show them?

What? Is the pure power of American craftsmanship? Yeah. And I would like to dump fucking 50 mags of AR-15 bullets directly into all the flour and see just the dust go everywhere. I'm going in there. I'm showing them true American ingenuity, true American strength. Yeah.

I'm going in there with my flamethrower from the boring company. That's right. You know, I'm burning up that field and I'm sending it to the moon. That's right. And a Doge rocket. Oh, you like the office UK version? Try this. Popping the VHS, ridiculousness, right?

And then they're watching fucking amazing videos. I'm walking around there. I'm dressed up like Jim Halpert. That's right. And I'm doing this. Yeah. And they're going, bloody you. Yeah.

Because you're not allowed to do that in the UK. By the way. Yeah. And all you know what else? you're not allowed to do there is have a Stanley in the show because they are racist and they did not have a Stanley. There was no Stanley. No Stanley. No Darrell. Yeah, big fucking surprise. See this?

I have my arms crossed and I'm tapping my feet, Ricky Jervais. Yeah. So suck on that. Ricky Jervais is almost the, I mean, I will say it's pretty brave soldier on the frontier of Okness and SJWness. But I think maybe... Just annihilating all of them in a way. Maybe he could have put

one Stanley. You're right. I think if they did have a Stanley over there, his name would probably be Jefferson. It would probably be Jefferson or Stanford or... Yeah. Bluntly. Bluntly Crips.

Yeah, blackly. Something like that. That's what they're racist they are. So then this next one here is scrambling cakes. Okay. And this one is about... If you were lucky enough to live in Twickenham in 1367, you might have been eligible for a lovely dole of free food.

What an amazing. Some peas or beans. What an amazing sentence. If you were lucky enough to live in Twickenham in 1367, a dole of free food. That's my version of Midnight in Paris. I'm like, I'm like, oh, you know, it's okay here, but if only I could be in Twickenham in 1367, have peas and beans.

And then you, like, turn the corner and you're on some, like, shitty fucking, like, like town. Yeah. You're in some shitty town as like some guys throwing his chamber pot out the window. Yeah, it hits me right on

I go, oh, this is amazing. Yes. And I'm there with fucking Margot Robbie or something. And somebody's like, get your dough. Yeah. Come get your dough.

And I'm like, okay. Peas and beans for me. Unfortunately, this food distribution was stopped, but a tastier one was started when the two great cakes were tossed to the poor each Easter Sunday. But as will happen

when you throw two cakes to a crowd, a riot would off themselves. Why was cake so... Well, this is the British cake. This is the British cake. What's British cake? Where it's just like a cake with no frosting or anything. Yeah, so why is it... I feel like any time

I hear some story about... Like, two cakes, people are doing a riot for a cake? Well, I mean, you've got to think about twicken them in 1367. You're eating peas and beans. You're eating peas and beans, yeah. That's pretty much all you have is food that big, right? Now, imagine that food.

maximized 10 times The size of a cake This is before GMOs as well So the peas were probably Peas were so small I never thought about that Peas were so small Peas are small now

Beans are small even I'm probably bigger than a pea Beans were the size of peas Yep And peas were probably the size of Now the beans are bigger And the peens are getting The beans are getting larger

The beans were small Yeah beans were not even beans Yes I've heard this And now it's tall Yeah I think And that's an old British Shriddle. What else happened in Twickenham?

A later tradition in Twickenham may be related to the scrambling for cakes and loaves. The Vickers Day charity saw local priest climb a church tower and throw loaves of bread to children below. Their scrambling for food was apparently sufficiently decorous. I don't know what the hell that is.

A bunch of some Catholic priests with a fishing rod throwing bread down. Just a kid. Yeah. Come on. It's a... What is decoral? Oh, The number six says the Wayfarer's Charity. Which this, Wayfarer's Charity sounds like a book that you see your uncle reading.

Yeah, one of those paperbacks from Walmart. And he's just going. Yeah. Yeah, and he reads it in like one day. Yeah. And he's like, he puts it down, never thinks about it again. Yeah. Never thinks about that fucking book.

No, it was just a story. Yeah. One other time in his life. If free food is good, then free booze is even better. It used to be that a traveler crossing Britain could expect to find charity if they needed it in most towns and villages. Religious institutions fed people and often offered them accommodation.

After the dissolution of the monasteries, however, this tradition mostly died up. In Winchester, however, there is still one place where anyone who wants it can turn up. Way! Yep. I want to. Turn up on a weekend.

Turn up and get a piece of bread and a mug of beer. Yeah, you give me a piece of bread and a mug of beer. I'm definitely going to turn up. That's right. I'm going to get crazy. I'm going to make it a problem. Beer is one thing. I might turn up a little bit on the beer.

What the bread? But the bread, though. Way. I'm going to eat that. The hospital of St. Cross and Elms House of noble poverty was a charitable house founded in the 1130s, a French monk who brought over the custom of distributing bread and wine to the poor. But beer was thought to be more of an English drink. Today, if you want to get a small meal for free, all you have to do is requested at the Porter's Lodge.

Alternatively, you could become one of the 25 brothers of... the house who receive an apartment to live in at a reduced rent and a subsidized two-course lunch. Isn't that so sick? You can just fucking like, if you're just related to this family, you can just live in a house and get two

courses of lunch a day. I would say that's how a lot of families are, though. Yeah? That you get to live in a house and get two meals. Yeah, but 25 brothers? Well, this is a, this is an amazing movie. Yeah. You've seen four brothers. I have. Uh-huh. You've seen

Multiply that by, add one, then multiply it by five. 25 brothers. And that's the tagline of the movie. That's a good idea. Four brothers was about four brothers, like, killing. There was a fifth brother in four brothers. I think there's only two brothers. And then they go and look for the guys who killed the fifth brother.

So imagine if that fifth brother stayed alive. And they all live in one big ass apartment. apartment together. With four sets of clones. With four sets of clones, and they just drink beer and eat bread all day. Well, not all day. It says they have one mug of beer and one piece of bread, one loaf. Okay, so one.

Which, by the way, that's a terrible ratio. I don't want a whole loaf of bread ever. You don't want a whole loaf of bread? Not with one beer to wash it down. I'm drinking one sip of beer for like four slices of bread. That is like the first course of a Texas Roadhouse meal. What are you talking about? That's not a whole.

I'm not eating that whole loaf at Texas Roadhouse, by the way. If you're by yourself. No, no. And also, I'm not a tex. I don't like the bread there. I like the peanuts. And if we're talking bread, I'll get brown bread at Ruby Tuesdays, or I'll get brown bread at Cheesecake Factory.

They have brown bread at Texas Roadhouse? They've never told me about that. You can get that there. Well, I didn't order that, asshole. I ordered the normal. I just get what's normal and then I get peanuts. All right. Well, maybe you could order this.

The Butterworth Dole. That looks actually pretty good. You know what those are? Add is a bun with, it looks like it has custard and M&Ms on it. At the church in St. Bartholomew and Smithfield, there are 21 widows who once provided it with a six pence each every good Friday. The widows would wait in the churchyard where the coins were laid out on a tombstone. They would then walk over and take their dole.

No one can say who founded the tradition or when it began because of the paperwork the church was burned in the Great Fire of London in 1666. Scary. Over time, fewer poor widows turned up to claim their coin, and the charity died out. When the money was left to retrieve the charity in the 19th century by G.W. Butterworth. It came back as a distribution of both money and food to poor widows. When the widows once dried up... No way.

Dried up. When the widows once again dried up it, the charity... What? That one's not on you. Yeah, what the fuck? When the widows once again dried up it, the charity changed to a free dole of hot cross. Bonds. Wait, that's what those are.

That's hot cross buns. I've never eaten. I didn't know those were real, man. What's in a hot cross bun, do you know? Looks like M&Ms and a hot cross. But what is the, that's frosting, right? Yeah, I think it's probably custard. Maybe it's tubby custard, dude.

Custard is a food that just you don't get that much in the universities or the universities? In the United States, I mean. The universities of America. The United States. That is more of a United Kingdom. kind of food. We don't deal with custards here.

Shake Shack may beg to differ. Well, but that's... Brother, that is frozen. I'm talking about they eat that shit straight out of the fridge, and it's yellow. It's yellow because it's, like, gone bad. It's yellow. No, it's got eggs in it. It's yellow.

That's what custard is over there. For us, we're thinking that that's going to be some delicious frozen tree. Yeah, basically it's an ice cream over there. They don't freeze that. It's a full. pudding. They're pretty lenient with what they call pudding over across the pond, too.

That's true. Black pudding and white pudding. Uh-huh. Is that what it is, right? I don't think there's a white pudding. Yeah, the sausages? There's white pudding. There's white pudding.

I saw white pudding in my shorts when I woke up. No, you didn't. Uh-huh. I had a dream. No. I had a dream that I was do a leap asleep. Duolipa. Or slave.

That was your dream? Beating the Bounds and Leighton Busset. He was so bad. Edward Wilkes built 10 almshouses to provide shelter for the poor in 1630 in memory of his father, John. When Edward died, he asked that beer and bread be given out every rogation tied, and the tradition of the Wilkswark originated to honor him. The Wilkswalk. You know the rogation tied?

I've been to every single one in my entire life. Oh, yeah. I do a Wilkes walk every year. I grew up with Wilkes walks. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Well,

Rogation days are often observed with a beating of the bounds when a procession is made around the borders of a parish to ensure that the memory where the boundaries lay was continued. On Rogation Monday in Leighton Buzzard,

a procession leaves All Saints Church, passes the almshouses, and into the market square. To make it memorable while the clerk reads from Edward Wilkes' will, a choir boy is wasted by It's angles.

Here's what I never want to hear again. Here's the word I never want to hear again. Parish. Yeah. Unless it has to do with... With the church? Damn, you're getting atheistically awesome right now. I would like to see the church parish, but when it comes to...

It's called a county, okay? I don't want to hear about a parish. Louisiana, get the fuck out of my face. You are a backwards at... By the way, and I don't mean... I don't know if anyone said this to you guys before in Louisiana. You look like a boot. Bro, be careful.

I'm sorry. Someone's going to... What are you going to do? You're going to give me butter? The people of Shreveport are going to rise up and beat the fuck out of you. Yeah, they're going to be shriek, they're going to shriek in Fort. They're going to shriek and they're going to for it all over the place because of how stinking mad they are about that. And because of all that crawfish et tufei they eat.

Yeah, stop eating that bullshit. Get that out of your mouth. Rice is supposed to be chewy. Stop making it into a fucking pudding. I actually like that. I'm actually down with that. Buns and beer were once given out, but it was found beer made for two. Two festive event.

Then it was buns and lemonade. They're putting lemonade on a choir boys' buns in over there. They need to chill. They need to chill. It was stopped when thousands of buns were consumed, and the ladies of the parish could not keep up. Now the buns were given out in church. The next one here, bull baiting.

Bro. Guess what this one's about? Probably about boxing. That's what I think. Anytime I see meat hanging from a thing, I want to punch it. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good.

I also want to do that. Sometimes charity, no matter how well intention, can do harm. When George Staverton died in 1661, he left to summon his will so that the poor people of Wokingham. Wait, wipe it off the map. Take it away from me.

We're going to go full preemptive strike on Wokingham. Yeah, I don't know if you guys have ever seen a little movie called Hot Fuzz, but we will be doing that in Wokingham. We're going in there, two guns of blazing. Yes. Going to just all over that damn town. Yes, sir. Fucking blue hair town of Wokingham.

I don't even want to see a – wait, wait, Jubio, can you look up a picture of Wokingham real quick? Yeah, let's see it. Because actually I do want to – I have a strong feeling that I know exactly what this is going to look like. Williamsburg in 19 – Wait, okay. So – 2008.

Oh, of course. Let me guess. That's where the adults go to work. It's a playground. And look, they're feeding – click – go back over there. They're feeding a lion to – all these kids to a lion. Wait, go back one? Wait, look at the name of this park.

California country people. Park in Wokingham. They're so woke that they're naming their shit, California. This is disgusting. Joel Park, that's probably a girl's name. It's probably a guy. That's probably a guy who lives there. Joel Park.

Cantley Park. Bear wood. They think bears should be in the woods instead of a zoo. The bears should be in the zoo. Get the bears back to the zoo. That's where the birds or bears should be. Okay, I'm resident. I don't even want to see a picture of these people.

I don't want because I bet they have blue hair. Oh, my God. This Wokingham resident has a headache because of all the freaking pronouns they have to hear. That is probably the only patriot in the whole fucking parish, and I don't even like to use that word I already said. And look. And look, that guy thinks it, they think it's cool

to be in a wheelchair in Wokingham. And look at this SJW with a blue air. Well, and you might think, oh, this person is probably in their 90s. That guy's 15. That's just what Wokeness does. to the human body. That is a 15-year-old guy. Don't ignore the...

And look at his hair that he dyed silver. Oh, and of course they shop at REI. There's another awokey. Okay, sorry. All right. This is, uh, yeah, so, uh, basically what happened here is that every year just before Christmas, they would bring a bull into the center of town.

Oh, no. And they would... Bull baiting was a practice where, uh, they would just unleaded. leash like bulldogs and shit up to fight these bulls. They would like put... Bulls versus dogs? Bulls versus dogs. So the bulls, they saw tethered

bulls pitted against dogs in vicious fights. Many dogs are borgant to death before the bulls. The bulls eventually succumbed to their wounds. Then their meat would be handed out to the hungry. So they'd have a bunch of dogs in the middle of this town just biting the shit out of this bull. And people's dogs are just flying everywhere, breaking

their accent. Oh my God. The bull is like horn into the thing. Into this dog. And these are not, by the way, these are not American bullies. No, no. These are basically still wolves. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

So then they would just like, then they finally stopped doing it in 1821. Or maybe corgis now I think about it because of the way they are. Because of the queen. Yeah. Yeah. What is this next one here? Thomasing? What is Thomasing?

Thomasing is a tradition. Blah, blah, blah. It's also known as gooding, corning, doling, washelling, Christmasing, gathering, mumping, moping. So basically what you do is you go door to door and you beg. Sometimes you get booze. Mostly it looks like you get potatoes and pudding and shit. Okay, I've been thinking about this for a long time.

There needs to be a year-round trick-or-treating for food. Yep. Well, this is Christmas trick-or-treating, and it's called Thomasing. Okay, well, that's better. Uh-huh. Yeah, I guess a year-round at getting going. I guess there was an old lady who tried to go out and do Thomasing in the 90s. She went mumping for spuds.

and the farmer told her to clear off and then she said you're not going to get a good crop next year and then he didn't so that's that was a news story in the UK yeah in the UK they were like an old last

went mumping for spuds and the farmer told her to clear off and that's the biggest news story of the year wow that is an amazing country this is what the reason this is what the UK drill is about yeah

this is like like oh I went mumping for spuds said clear off Getting the tub Coming in spots Suds Yeah And they don't have guns

So it's the sounds SpongeBob Got the suds I mean What else is there to rap about Yeah This happened What I read

Is that this happened We didn't hear about this In the States Because Okay And you didn't hear about this For me The day after

They did Diana They did her dirty They did her dirty In that car Somebody Somebody shot her through a window. I don't remember.

I honestly, don't even know who that is. Princess Diana? Barely... I know enough about her. I know who that was. I know that she danced with John Travolta,

but that's because my mom had a copy table book of John Travolta photos. You were thinking of Uma Thurman. No, no, no, no. You're literally thinking of Uma Thurman. Like, dance like this, like back and forth in a club.

In a 50s diner? Yeah. That was Uma Thurman. That's not Princess Diana at all. Princess Diana. Uma Thurman almost died. Quintin Tarantino almost killed her with a movie,

and that's why they don't work together. by the way. If anybody wants to Hollywood fact-check me, go ahead. I'll pass every test. You're telling me. That's Uma Thurman. Princess Diana. She did not. She doesn't have black hair.

No. She doesn't not. I mean, she probably did. That's probably the real reason she died. She probably got it. She overdosed in the car? I don't, I was, yeah, there's probably some kind of fentanyl situation. And then she died.

She killed her friend, too. That's sad. Yeah, it is pretty sad. She got flying like a pancake. Yeah. And then number one here is cheese rolling. Wait, this actually looks so fun. What this is, they fling themselves down a hill,

and they just want to roll of the double gloster cheese. Isn't that what Wallace wants and Wallace and Grommet? He wants double gloucester? Wallace wants bones. He's a dog. No, Grommet's the dog. What kind of name is Gromit for a dog? You think Gromit's the name of a man?

More so than a dog. Gromit. You think that Wallace is the dog? I don't think, I know that he's the dog. No. Yeah. That's not true. It's, it's, it's, you're completely fabricating this.

No, he's the, no, the, no, the, uh, grommet wants cheese. By the way, what is a better name for a guy who's, like, fucking addicted to cheese, such a slob than grommet? It's a dog's name. It's his last name. His name, his last name is not, his name isn't Wallace Gromit. No, Wallace is the dog. His name is probably. Is Gromit Wallace?

No, his last name is Gromit. He goes by Gromit. What's his first name then? They don't say. It's kind of the mystery. It's like the whole point of the show. The whole point of the show is that they go to the moon to get cheese. Is Gromit the dog?

It says no. Gromit is. It says he is. And he graduated from Dogworts. Okay. So you telling me a pun on Hogwarts. Okay. So, Wikipedia.

Wait, that's a Wikipedia. Wikipedia is not a source, honey. Gromit. Oh, look, there they are. There's Gromit and Wallace. Yeah, Wallace is the guy. There he is. That, he looks a lot like Gromit.

So, only one person can get the double gloucester. And no one knows when it first started, but during COVID, they just rolled cheese down the hill. I'd be at the bottom of that hill. I'd be holding my bottom jaw, my top jaw open, trying to eat the whole room. Everyone be screaming. Put your mask on. Put your mask on Because it was like probably at a time

Where we didn't know much about what was going on By the way UK, I would like to say this to the UK people right now When you guys are wearing masks We everybody in the United States was just pretending to Yep None of us actually wore that shit We were so happy that you started putting your masks on over there To cover that shit up

Cover up these things Yeah and by the way Take it from two people with perfect teeth Okay Look at my teeth You people are disgusting to us Uh huh There's nothing

single thing wrong with any of my teeth. I really don't like it. And here is the video of the cheese rolling. Yeah. Okay, let's look at this. This is actually dope. Do you mean, it's a compilation? It's a compilation of cheese rolling. Best Top. And it's from Best Top. Is it B's Stop or Best Top? I think that's Best Top.

Best Top. Okay, so there's a big hill. Uh-huh. Oh, my God. And suggested it is Big Parkour Fails Compilation. This looks so incredible. Which I'm kind of, I'm maybe going to watch that later. Wait, people are already rolling. Or falling.

Yeah, is the point to roll down the hill? Yeah. Oh, these guys are getting really hurt, man. Yeah. Okay, I don't, man, I don't want to see this. These are probably migrant workers who are trying to make a quick buck or they're probably going to resell the cheese. Yeah, do you think that they have...

Dude, these people are dead. Do you think that they have, like, rich guys in the UK who pay a migrant worker to roll down the cheese hill for them? Definitely put your ID on them. Yeah. Right? Uh-huh. So legally, I get the cheese.

It looks like they have cheese rolling teams here. I'm kind of surprised that none of these people are like 600 pounds because that would be a... They got a sperm rolling down the hill. Look at that. There's a spider man. Oh, that's a pet a pig. All right, you know what? This is enough.

We're going to get flag for violence. Yeah, this is enough. Yeah, back to that. All right, I guess that's the list today. We did another mummy's gone, and mommy will be none the wiser. Mommy won't know. Mommy won't know that the boys are got stuff. Got a podcast.

and they're doing a cheese list. Yep. Or they're doing a food list. Wait, let's get this, let's hammer this down real quick. Mommy don't know that her podcast. No, Mommy don't know that her sons are on doing podcast songs. And they're.

And they got a new cheese wheel. There we go. Uh-huh. And it's that simple. Mommy, if you're watching, that's how it's done. That's fucking simple. Bye. Bye-bye.

Wait, do we have to, we don't know anything to plug. No, I'm. Get that off of me right now. Yep, and that's it.