Podcast About List - Ep. 237 - Five Fingers of Music

Episode Date: April 12, 2023

The gang is back together and we're bringing the heat straight to your hear holes 🔥🔥🔥 also if you're wondering what they're reacting to at the beginning of the show, check out the cold open on our YouTube channel for my official apology for last week's incident. Watch the full video for this episode youtube.com/@PodcastAboutList Buy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

Wow, it takes a big man to apologize like that. That was huge of you. I'm really happy that you stepped up to the plate and you did what was right. I didn't think that you had it because when we asked you to apologize, you seemed so resistant at first. But I mean, that's the thing. when you talk to somebody who is addicted to a sleepy time tea. It's a disease.

Addiction is a disease, and especially to sleepy time tea. Yeah. And we've known. That's why addicts are always walking, going, oh, oh. But that's what you're doing. We've known that Jubio has been addicted to this for a long time. And we haven't done a single thing. I actually, I heard.

To listen to him. I heard this week a set up, a setback is a setup for a comeback. Yeah. And who did you hear that? I heard from Jack Bensinger. Okay. Yeah. He said a setback.

is a setup for a comeback that's great one of the most beautiful things I've actually don't know if he said comeback or cunback comeback come back well I just didn't hear him that well but I don't think comeback it's either a setback is a setback is a set up for a comeback or a comeback I'd like to shout out Jack for thanks Jack to put me on to that comeback yeah it sounds like a last name I guess it could imagine imagine a guy named Chris Cunback yeah he'd probably be pretty quick yeah that's like a good heckler like like Stephen Hofstetter kind of name. Yeah.

Yeah. Stephen. Everyone is jacking his swag now it is. I don't know him that well. I'm not going to call him. Yeah, it's a little familiar. I call him Mr. Hofsteader. Yeah.

Excuse me, Mr. Hofstetter. Your jokes suck. Yeah. Well, polite heckler gets destroyed. No, that's what I'm in the audience. I'm the polite heckler. First of all. Okay, no.

The S word is obviously completely different word. You can take one of my coins. No, that, no, no, no. Okay. First of all, we haven't even introduced it yet. And we also, we also, in our, we definitely, that word is okay. According to who? The first time, we already did a no-swear D&D episode.

Can we, can we pull up maybe just like a list of words forbade by the Catholic Church? Well, I don't think that they. Forbidden. List of words, forbidden. Wist of words. I don't think that they publish a swear list. Yeah, I think, I think. Do you think that they should, they should publish a list of swear words?

So then every year, every year, you know which words are going to get you to send a list of swear words. Well, first can we just get, can we get a punch in on this right here? This, if we have it, a table punch in. Yeah. So this is, if you're not watching the video, this is a swear jar. And we have decided to do, we didn't really, we didn't name it yet. And this is a prime energy. We are not getting paid.

Logan Paul and KSI. It's got to be wet out of the list of things that we're having. Get the H.E. double hockey sticks out of here. It gives you the most exciting headache you'll ever have in your life. No, just don't even go there. Don't even promote it. Put it down. You know, we can promote. We are going to be a healthy lifestyle.

A healthy lifestyle. And also, we're going to be making our own branded swear jars. That's a great idea. That is a really good idea. Well, we need a, what's the best idea you've had in six months? It's going to be, they're going to be like $100 because it's going to be hand blown or mouth blown by a glass blower. Blown, yeah. I think it's still hand-blown.

No. No, these ones don't use their hands. Yeah. I don't think your mouth is ever involved, is it? No. How are you going to blow the glass? I don't know. You blow it with a straw.

I thought you blow it with a blower. That's probably in the factories, but the mouth-blown ones, that's like handmade. But hand-blown. Oh, my God, they're blowing. Yeah. They're completely blowing. She's blowing that stick. That's why it's called glass blowing.

Like, there's no tomorrow. Wait, they look like they're playing an instrument. Uh-huh. They're playing the Mordor. Whoa, what was that kind of thing? That was the Windows sound. This could be... This could be...

It's like a music button. No. No, that was... Bro. Doesn't that sound kind of right? They're blown on that thing like Dizzy Gillespie. The year of no swear. Oh, yeah.

The year of no swear. I'm trying to think if there's a good name for... Here's the plan. It's a year. We're going to try to do a full year of no cussing. Or at least. Because you have to pay for it. So it's really got to be worth it.

Because, guys, we've been doing this podcast for four years at this point. And if you go back into our history, we have used so many unnecessary costs. We've used every word in the book. Well, at least Patrick has. Let's get, let's get like, this is a one-minute grace period to say all the words that we said. I don't think so. We had a four-year grace period. It ends today.

Okay. So stop flipping around and let's get down to business. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah. And he didn't say. and I didn't say biz N-I-T-C-H yeah he said business because that also is

skirting the rules any kind of that we call that a half-cus impolite if you say a word and you have impropriety yeah in your mind and heart when you say it if you're thinking a cuss you could say the word

you could say like that a wuss word yeah like if I said if I said what the virtue I would even though the word I'm saying is virtue you can feel behind it the word I mean yeah and that's I don't know

the holy spirit i don't know about that that's maybe a reduced fee but it's still not right to do see i have a bag here of all the coins so there's a couple things i want to establish let's go over ground rules okay here are the ground rules okay first of all we will come up with a list of which it can be a a something that evolves can you open up the notes app right now get that open and then we'll just say like we won't swear but we'll say the word right we'll just say like blank word oh okay so words we can't say all right so f word F word is obvious four is not a swear F word is obvious uh S word is obvious yep B word B word A word you don't have to type word after everyone no I think he does a word a word a word

well then the other S word what's the other S word well I can't say it which S hit so you can't whoa we're making the list we're making the list we're making We're making the list. First donation is because I spell a penny. That's a penny. Well, I already grabbed a quarter. And I missed. Also, another ground rule.

If you miss, it's not telling you that you didn't need to pay. But you do have to try your hardest to get it in. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, so A word, the other S word, which, again, I don't know what it is. I'm not sure what it is either. And that's pretty much all the cusses that I ever learned. The other F word.

Well, we'll say any race. or slur-type thing. All slurs are... And you can't say... And you can't say idiot. Yeah. Idiot? Wait.

We both just... They're both to take a coin. No, no. Your coins are for babies. That's a full-blown dollar. That's a full dollar. There is $30 of coins in here. You are an idiot.

Pay again. Pay again. Oh, my God. Dude, I'm going to be broke. I only have like 10 bucks today. Okay. So we're going to establish this. We'll add to this as we go.

You know, in other countries. Yeah, this is a full year. We're not going to. We're not touching this for a year. But I would also like to establish up top, what are we going to do with this money when it's all full? So at first, my idea was to bring it to a homeless person. Yeah. And give it to them and say, this is all the times we've sinned this year.

But they're going to just spend it on drugs and alcohol. They might spend it on going to a swearing. Yeah, they might go to a swear and speak easy. Yeah. What's the password? The F word. Yeah. And not the F word. Whoa. I'm going, I won't.

It's just going to be hard. Wow. You know what? Wow. Okay. Because that was, that was bad. That was really bad. That was a really bad one.

This is going to be, this is going to be so difficult. I'm also hoping that this, because, guys, you think that I just cussed when I'm, when the cameras are on and the mics are on, when I get home, I'm saying, F this. S that. Oh my God. Look at my A hole. Turn the S and TV on. Turn the S and I'm looking in the, I'm pointing at the mirror and I'm saying, F you.

Yeah. I'm punching the mirror. I'm like, and I'm making myself a delicious meal. I'm like, I want to eat this F. I'm showing my dog, my D. Yeah. I don't want to do any of that. Yeah.

I'm saying like, I want to drink a D glass of water. I'm brushing my teeth. I'm like I'm brushing my D teeth. Yeah. I'm brushing my D with my toothbrush. I need to take an S and brush my D. Yeah. I'm going to take it.

brush my d with my ass i sat down on the toilet wrong i got some s on my mouth oh yeah add d word there i'm at my house i'm at my house i'm gonna eat my ass i'm gonna eat my own s yep i'm gonna take i'm gonna f my ass and eat my d i'm gonna have a big pile of my own ass yeah oh h word but can you say h-c-k hold on oh that i have to say i have to say the word because spell it okay you're already doing a boner can't say it can't say B-O-N-E-R okay okay so because that's getting around the D word okay you can't because I get home and I'm like I'm gonna turn my D into a B I'm gonna F and turn my D into a B with S what do we

we want to talk about do we have to say erection yes yeah she gave me an erection or phallis or no a hard my hard phallis my phallis became erect we can we can probably say engorged phallis. We could say any medical terms okay. Medical terms are okay, but if you're using it in a medical context, you can't be like, yeah, I'm going to stick my phallis and a girl. It's also no dirtiness. No dirtiness.

Okay. Derry air. Dairy air is French. No French. No French. But I think it's okay to say but as long as it's not too crass. Yeah. Okay.

You get a couple butts a day. You get a couple butts. You can't say I got effed in my butt. Yeah, definitely. But you can say like, hold on to your butt. You can say that before you say something crazy. I got an aft in my butt and some S came out. Yeah, you can't say that.

You can't say. Some S with some C in it came out. No, we can't say that, though. You can't say that. We're saying it. We're not saying. No, we can't say a B shot C in my butt? Can I say, can I say it?

Oh, my God, my keyster's full of C. You can say my. You can't say C. Okay, okay, okay, you can't say. say C, but you can say sperm, because that's medical. You could say, like, I donate, you could say, you can say, you can say C only in a donation context. Yeah, you can say I got fornicated in my, my keyster, and there's a bunch of sperm. I'm such an S-F, I got, I got Fed in my keyster. Yeah. I can say that. You can say that.

Okay. You can say, no, you can't say. My keyster is full of sperm. I don't think you can't say F'd. All right. But you can't say F'd. I'm a total R for. You can't, and you can't say, I it's F to B. I can't say I'm a total R for getting F to my keyster. I can't say that. Okay, I'm going to give a dollar for that. Yeah, that was purely, that was pretty crass. I don't want to say that.

I think that was fine. No, no, no, no. Yeah, we're trying to make a change here. Speaking of addiction. Okay. Oh, and then another B word. What? The word for breasts. Oh, the crass one.

Calculator words. No calculator. no calculator words so you can say hello no no no no none of that you can say hello but you can't say sign cosine plus minus but yeah calculator words we know yeah can we say you can't say the okay you can say oh my grandma has a you can say my grandma's in hell my grandma you can say that you can also say my grandma has a a pussy cat yeah yeah but you can't say just the first part of that no that word that You can say my grandma has a Pussy Willow. Pussy footing.

You can say pussy footing. So again, it's all It's contextual. If it's in the dictionary. And you can't say the first syllable of contextual either. No, no, no. And you can't say the first syllable of dictionary either. And especially you can't say the contextual and dictionary for syllables. No, you can't say them together and combine them. And you can't talk about how

they smell when they get together. You can't say my dictionary is put into some context. Yeah, you can't. Well, no, I mean, that's actually rather intellectual. Yeah. So also, that's another. Well, Yeah, it depends on the conversation. Okay, so, okay, here's one thing I want to establish, okay? I want to establish the, I want to establish the, I want to establish, do we have a Huckleberry Finn rule?

Oh, no, no, no, no. Where we can say anything if it's a quote. Oh, I see what, that's not what I was guessing you meant by the Huckleberry Finn rule. I'm saying if you're quoting it. Right, if you're quoting somebody, if you're quoting somebody who says the F word. If you're popcorn reading in high school. And they say the B-O-N-E-R or something. Can you say that?

I think we should still spell it. I think that's the time we're allowed to spell it. Okay. Okay, what if you try and circumvent the thing and you say... Don't say in the middle of circumvent either. Yeah. What if you say B-1er? Can you say circumcise?

Or do you say B-1er? You can say circumcise. Okay. I'm going to be saying that a lot. Okay. And if you absolutely have to say something, we do, do we still have the beep? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

So, and if you really need to sell it, you could say, like, So the guy said, What? Yeah, so like that. Yeah, you didn't really time it well. Yeah, I didn't know what you're going to say. It's kind of impossible for me to tell what you're going to say. You said, and the guy said, I'm just going to press.

I'm going to try to react in time. Okay, you suck at this. It's difficult. That was really mean to. Okay. You don't know how. You can't just read your mind. It's all you're going to say.

Swear plus mean jar. Meanness also does. Yeah, meanness is a swear. Okay. So being mean is a swear. So I have a, I have a $3. dollar budget for the rest of this episode. Otherwise, I'm going to have served Vimowing the jar. That's why I got the coins. But that's not my

money. That's cheat. Also, that's cheating. It's not cheating. It's not cheating. It's not cheating. It's a dollar or more. In every other country in the world, the coin is respected. In Canada, in England. They don't respect the coin in Canada. They call them loonies. They call them loonies because it's a loose one. That's where it comes. That's where it's derived. And you know what they call them in, they call them disgusting things in the United Kingdom. what do they call them they call them why don't you why don't you just well i can't even say it because it's so disgusting yeah well you can hit the sensor so just what do they call that in the

u.k hodgers you he didn't hit the i was never going to hit the sensor that was a honeypot donate that money so i have two dollars left and we have stuff coming up that is just going to definitely i'm an accidentally curse during so that's really i can give you a loan okay i will do i will if i If I run out of money, I will ask for a loan. You can, okay. I think that this. With a lot of interest. I think that this list is good for now.

I don't need, I, that's cheating and you should come with dollars next time. No, it's not cheating. They respect the coin in other countries. We're not in other countries. And we have all, they also say all this stuff in other countries. But do you like the bag it came in? The what it came in? Or the what?

The what? The what came in? The bagging. Came in. Okay. Well, you said, yeah. What are you saying that I said it sounded like the other F word? No, a French word.

We said no French words. Oh, baguette. Oh, my God. And he said it again. He said it just three times, by the way. That, hold on. French, I have to pay. Yeah.

Let me get all. You have to pay whatever the equal amount is and euros. That is a dollar. That's a dollar. That's a dollar. That's a dollar. That's a French word. What?

Franks. Fuck. No, I'm not. I, no, no, no, no. That's not. The sound of the coin is turning the mic into the... I'm not set the F word. You set the F word back.

I know I'm putting more. There we go. That was a dollar something. I don't even know. Speaking of awful things that happened in this world last night, I'm at a birthday party, okay? And I... Bragg. I am at a birthday party at a bar in Manhattan.

And someone comes up to me and they say, Batman's here. And I go, what do you mean Batman's here? Robert Pattinson is in this bar right now. Whoa. And I walk over to the bar and sure is this place called Ear In. This sure is hell ordering at the bar. Oh! Sure is anything.

Ordering at the bar is none other but the but the safety prints himself. Wow. Robert Pattinson. And I really wanted to like do so I wanted to like spill a bloody Mary on him or something. Yeah. They're too expensive at the bar. So anyway, we

leave kind of early and I have to pee at the bar but there's a line so I walk I'm like I'm just going to go pee on my car because I parked down there and I start peeing on my car and I look to the left and a woman falls into the street and a guy like starts walking away and so I

have like my penis in my hand can I say that if it's the story? Yeah I think that's okay. Penis is medical so I'm peeing on my car out of my penis and a woman gets knockout game like 20 feet from me and I'm like what the heck's going on?

So I a guy is like walking away and he's like got a mask that covers his face. Batman. And she's saying awful. She's saying awful cuss words. So really she kind of deserves it. But she's cursing at him. And I start cursing because I kind of get into it.

I say, what the F is wrong with you? You are? You crazy are? And he's like, he just goes like and then I start like walking towards him to like try to approach him. And then he starts, he just bolts. He just like runs away. And I walk up.

over to the lady yeah walk over to the lady and she her jaw is broken like her face is like this big and she's this british lady and she's like that that fella just knocked me knocked me uh knock me looney or she said something along those lines and uh then i get in the car and we start leaving i'm like gosh that was so awful it really put me in a horrible mood i was like that is so awful that we live in a place where that kind of thing happens that is so and there's nothing i can do because i was i didn't know if the guy did a knife you know or yeah i don't know so So then we start driving. I'm like, man, if only there had been somebody,

somebody fearless, some vigilante who was fearless enough to stop him. But he was at the bar! I thought that that story was going to end that you walked up to the woman with your penis, like out of your zipper. No, no. Batman did nothing. He was too busy drinking, by the way. Well, do you know what? Do you know why?

Why? You didn't set the bat signal off. I wasn't going to know. You have to sign it into the window of the bar. He was two blocks away, dude. You have your phone up in the bar with the bat with a bat, the Batman symbol on Google images just like, hey!

The one night I thought nothing like this, nothing bad will happen. You're safe. You thought you were safe. I'm within 60 feet of Batman. And this woman gets completely... Batman attracts trouble, though. Wherever he goes, his rogue gallery follows.

That's your fault for going into Gotham. This guy, well, I was in Gotham. This guy was definitely a Batman villain type. Like, just like... Did he go? Kind of. Well, no, more like henchmen. Like, he's sitting around...

Yeah, hold on. Yeah, wait, did he go like... It was not a baby. No. But he was sitting around doing kind of like... You know how in all the Batman games? They're always talking about Batman when you're walking around. Yeah, the bat.

You hear about this bat walking around? He was like that kind of guy. He was definitely a henchman. He was not a number one. Little tiny fisherman had... Yeah, little fisherman hat. He's like all. shirt, jacket.

Yeah, the same exact body type is the next 12 guys that you see. Yeah. Just like different face maybe or different hair. Uh-huh. Yeah. If that happened to me, if I saw that, I would have gone home that night and, like, got all my clothes together, got my sewing machine. I would have made my super suit. I mean, it was for me a little bit of a, maybe I become a vigilante or another story.

I would have made, I would have stopped that. I would have become, uh, I can't be, the jubios the love bug. Yeah. Which I've been planning. I didn't want to reveal this until I was ready, but I just, I'll reveal it now really quick. Yeah. I've been planning. I'm going to draw a Lovebug comic book.

That's adorable. And I'm going to publish it. That's really sweet. I think I will become a vigilante. You have no idea the excitement that just washed over. Yeah, that is exciting. I'm like, I want to curse because I want to say, holy F. Yeah.

That is effing amazing. But you can say it's holy cow. Holy cow. Holy love. You think there's room in New York for a vigilante who dresses up like an orthodox Hasidic guy. And that's like my super suit. Yeah. Right. Well, yeah, because I mean, it's the most... It's like you

escape and you're doing like Naruto, like Shadow Jitsu. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I'm just blending in perfectly. Where is it? Yeah. People are like, oh my God, he's like a, he's like a drop of water. Like tears in the rain. See, my thing, I think, if you're just going to like try to be a vigilantean in New York, like you're going, you're going to Haseed,

I'd probably be eight ball jacket guy or like... Oh, yeah. That's good. NYPD officer. NYPD officers. That's good. No, I think you'd get caught as an NWPD officer. I'd probably, I'd be a guy. You'd get caught as NYPD officer, but eight ball jacket guy.

NYPD, it's so funny, I would be, I would be, I would be, it's funny that cops here. It's funny that cops here are all just like fat pieces of shit. In North Carolina, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, bro. Okay, I have $1. Fat tubs of lard. Well, there's just, they're lazy bones. They're lazy bones. I'll say that. They're lazy bones.

They're do nothing. They're lazy bones who do nothing. And they all have like, they all, you just see them sitting around eating like lunch all the time. In North Carolina, they are like all military guys. Yeah. When we were in North Carolina after you left, yeah. We were going out to a bar with Noah and Pierce one night and we walked down the street. Oh my God, yeah.

And downtown Wilmington and literally 10 cop cars pulled up on the street because someone was being like loudly drunk. And they were like all the way down the street. They, like, had, they were cuffing somebody. There was a girlfriend who, yeah, there was a girlfriend who was there. It was like, what do you, what the MUCK are you doing? She's like, do you feel, do you feel good about what you do? Yeah, pulling that whole, that whole thing out. She's a crazy.

And it was literally, yeah, it was like, 10 GI Joe's. Yeah. But it's like, my hometown, so the airport was like on the border of, it was like, Manchester Airport and then Londonderry, like the airport was there. So my hometown needed a SWAT team. Yeah. But, I mean, you've seen how small Londonderry is. There's no reason for them to have a SWAT team.

So all the cars. Maybe for the flies. That's right. Hold on. Hold on. Maybe for the flies around the horses bottoms. Hit that. Wait, which one?

Which one? Say it again. Wait. Maybe for the flies around the horses bottoms. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. But yeah, they had like all the cops had like,

they were so. insanely overpaid, and then every year they would get new cars and stuff. Careful now, Patrick, because we do have added to the list here at the bottom. This is an anti-cop rhetoric. No, no, no, no, no. It's not anti-cop. They were just, most of the town's budget went to the police. Yeah.

The cops in my hometown were noble and the educated kids about drugs. I'm talking about their steeds. The DARE program. I'm talking about every year the cops got the noble knights of London Dairy got new steeds. Really? Yes. They had steeds? They had steeds, which were Toyota or Dodge Challenger.

There were Dodge Challengers. You don't think the Dodge Challenger is a steed with the word... I challenged the idea that that's a steed. Can we say ASS in reference to a donkey? Yes. I think so. But only in reverend. But honestly, I'd rather use mayor or if it's an acronym for something.

A mayor. The battered mare, like Skyrim thing, the bar. I could say in that sense. Can we reference video games? No, no, I don't think so, because that's, that's not so, that's not so right. You can't, what about, not an M-rated video game. Yeah. Okay, no M-rated video games, no R-rated movies.

Yeah. And no, nothing that has an explicit sticker on it. Yeah. Music-wise. So, not even, so no T, no rated T. So T's fine. E-10. I think that this podcast is generally T.

Yeah. PG-13. We're somewhere in between PG-G and PG-13. We're like PG-11. Like a hard PG-10. Yeah. E-10. Eat-10 plus.

Yeah. But I would like to say PG-11. Okay. Because 10-year-olds might even be a little too young for some of this stuff. We're the Kingdom Hearts 2 of podcasts. Guys, tonight is my bachelor party. Yep. And there's going to be no cussing there either.

That's right. We're bringing the jar. Yep. And we're going to get all the pea-shaped gummies and the pea-shaped lollipops and the pea-shaped straws. And we're going to get totally close off. We're going to get a sex work. We're going to get a sex worker to shake her A-hole Right in front of our faces

And we get to smell it We can put the coins in the A We're going to tell her to not W before she comes Uh-huh And we're going to smell her A Wait, what's W? Wipe That's not a swear

Yeah, but in that context you are right to say Yeah, in that I guess Yeah I had to double you so many times this morning Really? I hate it when you have to You have to w, like, you're A a million times. My butt.

You don't have to say A. You don't have to say A. You can say but. You can say but. Yeah. So you're just in. Or your tush. Yeah.

W. I have to w my tush so many times. My tush was so messy this morning. Really? Yeah. I literally was making ice cream out of it. Oh, my God. Yeah.

And then you, and then you dub you. This is getting in a nasty territory. That's good. That is good. You're right. I actually do. That's probably the most wholesome. The goal of this is to have a healthy lifestyle.

Would you agree? Yeah. To stop being. Because I feel like we're kind of losing sight a little bit. Because I am saying some stuff that could be construed as a little anatomical. Yes. I think it's more that you're talking about this stuff because no one else has talked about it. But it's also toilet humor.

It's not toilet humor because when you change, when you shift the lens. What do we joke about that? It's not humorous. What do we say? It's not humorous. It's the news. It's the news. Oh, yeah, here's some news that he had to w his A.

Let's talk about the news that, uh, some of the exciting news that you broke to us right before we started recording. Oh. Which is? Millie Bobby Brown. Oh, yeah. Is now. Patrick was so excited about this. It's exciting.

And we said we're not covered on the show. We haven't yet. Because as a Bon Jovi fan, Millie Bobby Bon Jovi. As a Bon Jovi fan, I'm excited. I like that. That's like a civil war name. There's a new member of the Bon Jovi family. This is New Jersey

Millie Bobby Bon Jovi Oh my God That's right That's what I said When I heard that the first time Millie Bobby Bon Jovi Oh my God Wait is that Lord's name in vain

No I don't think we have that on there We'll do okay We even though because we have a mixed We should try to say gosh But because we have a mixed religious background for all three of us I think that we do unfortunately It does have to be a secular

Rule set for these words Definitely I mean you know If you want to personally not say Gio D like me, then that's fine. For me, it's more like if I take, because I follow Shintoism, so if you take maybe the spirit of a tree

in vain, you say something kind of nasty or you invoke a rock. Be careful there. Don't slur your words saying Shinto. True. Oh, true. Yeah. See, my brain, honestly, I'm so locked in here that I didn't even consider that could be considered. My religion is Dalai Lamaism. The church of Bill Higgs. really and it which i'm i'm pulling back a lot yeah that i can't believe that you're so that's why i brought

the so many coins because i know i'm gonna slip up i thought that i'd slip up more he's the one he's he really has been slipping up he's sitting here the christian sorry yeah i'm not catholics are actually going to hie double hockey he's sitting here he's swearing like a like a fn sailor okay so again that's yeah that's not really right you could say like an ever ever loving Ever-loving sailor. He's swearing like a flippin' sailor. Guys, let's talk about this Dalai Lama situation. So I wanted to go out and just put a message out here.

It's the thing I said this to you guys before. I just want to do it on the podcast. I just kind of get this out of the way. Dalai Lama, we saw the news. We saw what you did. You hugged a child. You said, want to suck my tongue. And pal, I'm going to give it to you straight.

S your T. That is, as my T. As you said, do you want to S my T? Yeah, which is crazy. To a child. To a young boy. who was he was literally the Dalai Lama was that young

boy's idol most likely and here he is asking him to S's a rookie card but Dalai Lama you got one more chance buddy actually you know what we'll say this we'll give you two more chances that was strike one that was strike one two more strikes and you are out

two more strikes and you better not mess this up he's got two strikes he's all that stuff he was saying about Tibet what do you mean all that's fine What do you mean? He has one strike, okay? Because he told a little baby to SST.

Yeah. You have one strike. I guess the Tibet stuff is a ball. Well, that's good for him, right? Yeah. Because the ball is for him being, you know, a spiritual leader. Why do people want to free Tibet? Because China made it crazy or something.

Oh, then, yeah, then he has two strikes. No, he has one strikes. He has two strikes for talking. Pal, asking a child to S your T is a strike. No, he's Tibet. He thinks Tibet is dope, because he's the ruler of it. I bet he was, he's trying to take that child to bet. You're making a joke about a pedophile, pedophilic.

Well, I wouldn't go that far. I wouldn't go that far. I would say if you get to three strikes, I'm definitely going to call you that word. But until then, we're just going to call you, you're going to say you made a mistake. Yeah, we're going to say you were very, we're going to say. You made a very public mistake. And by the way, not all those who. wonder are lost.

Can you hit like a clap? Yeah. Can I get an applause, but not all those who wonder are lost. So thank you very much. Yeah. I mean, and that's true. I really believe that. So, Mr. Dalai Lama, I just want to say, there is always room for you in the loving

arms of Jesus Christ. And so if you stop, thank you. First of all, grow your hair out because I do not like that bald shit. It does not look good on you. What the H.E. double hockey sticks on you do it. I need a dollar. I ran out of money. Here.

I'm a cusser today. Just here. That's why I brought the coins. Here's three dollars. All right. I'll give you these later. And so that's going to be a dollar for me. All right.

But yeah, you need to convert. Gosh, dang it. It's hard. And try changing up your fit every once in a while. Yeah. Hey, by the way, you don't live in a cartoon dolly, Lom. You don't get to wear the same shit every. Did you just get out of the shower?

Why are you wearing that? You know what? I can't stop saying s. The Dali Lama, you dressed like a llama that was generated in Dali. I think it's... Fatality. Yeah, that's right. That was fire.

Gosh, it's so hard to cuss, man. It's hard to not cuss. It's hard for me to cuss. I brought this. I'm having an amazing time not cussing. But what do you guys think about shaking the challenge to the next level? Shaking the challenge? How would we shake the tithe?

challenge to the next level. That's right. No, but how? You have to explain how. We're going to do a very exciting special talent. Okay. Talent show. A talent. And this is something that I developed. Okay. That I thought that we could do that nobody has ever attempted before in the history of podcasting or even the world. I think you're probably right.

This is a challenge that's called The Five Fingers of Music. Wait. The five fingers of music? The five fingers of music. That's right. Five beats, 50 minutes. Okay. And what do we do with these beats?

No cussing. No cussing. Uh-huh. Freestyles. Off the top? Off the dome. Off the dome. Off of the...

Off the ever-loving dome. Dang. Excuse me real quick. Excuse me real quick. Because of the, I guess in that context, but the word dome. Yeah, I was going to ask about that. It's kind of euphemistic. Yeah.

It is a little bit euphemistic. Off the, but it means, but this. Oh, oh. Whoa, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's way worse than saying, don't. That's way worse. That is 50 cents. Stop. Whatever, man.

You can act out anything. Hey, another for your flippant attitude. You see my flippant attitude or my flippant. Oh, okay. I was being flippant. You were being really flipped. Yeah, my bet, my bet. Speaking of flip, I bet you flip that beat on and let's do this.

dang thing. Okay, hold on. Uh, uh, okay. Wow. Okay, show me one of these fingers. Okay, you guys ready for the first finger? Finger me. What? You could say, I get, he's calling them the fingers. Stop the beat, stop the beat. I was saying, what is your malfunction? What is your main malfunction? Yeah, where do you, where do you get off? He said get off that, no, in this context, that is fine. I said, you're telling this. You're telling him to F you?

No, I said, that is not okay. You said, give me a beat and F me. Okay, you've, you've never seen Sway in the morning, have you? Yes, I have. Okay, so when he does sway in the morning with a rapper, each beat is called a finger. He does five fingers. But they don't tell them to F him.

Finger me, dog. Don't, what I'm doing? Finger me up. Stop it. You stop it right now. Give me my finger. What the fuck is happening? You can say, give me my finger.

Finger me. My headphones just got. turned crazy but it's all okay everything did just get a little bit louder yeah that's okay everything it's something weird happened it's that big knob right there that controls everything but it didn't nothing moved it huh but yeah I was

just saying finger me up we have a lot to learn you just have to stop saying that whatever what what what did Cameron say what did you say what did you say when when that thing went crazy

oh you got caught you got caught Dang. Dang. We'll all be danged. I didn't even do it consciously. Isn't that crazy? How about this? Drop the beat. Okay. Ready? Yeah.

I'm going to drop it again. And don't say the thing you were saying before. Okay. Show me a finger. Okay. That's all right. Don't finger. Don't finger me. All right.

Are you ready? You can't even say it. You have to say, don't F me. Please don't F me. See how much better that feels? I mean, I need you to have me. See how much better that feels to say? F me with five Fs.

Okay. You're ready? Yes. Here's the first F Okay We'll call it the five Fs of music Okay Yeah

Damn Wait this F is amazing You said D You did say D Crack Crack Crash Oh crash

Oh crash All right What's my word I gotta go off a word You have to go off a word Yeah Coins Coins

Oh I got so many coins I rap so good You feel it in your loins I look like from the zoo Cameron smells like poo I can't say P-O-O

but I don't care because I am so good at rapping in a clean way Cameron and Patrick R. Gay Like happy and I can't say C RAPP-Y Dang this is hard actually I realize how many cusses rhyme together

And this comes into your head immediately When as soon as you think about rap music Usually you think about rap music you think about Okay, let me show you how it's done. Show me what's done. I went to the baseball game and I saw the game. You went to the baseball game and saw the game. It still has to be rap.

I went to the baseball game and I saw the game. I watched all the baseball game and I thought it was the flames. My team is the flames, the Florida Flames. That's my favorite tame. And I love their name. Me and Cameron and Patrick are going to the store today. to get some more flames. Because we like flames.

And Patrick and Cameron and Caleb is our names. And we're three friends and we don't play video games anymore. No. Because they're bad. Even if we shut the door, we don't play them privately. They're demonic. And no, we don't smoke chronic. We don't drink any gin and tonics.

And we still don't play Sonic. We don't like Sonic. But we like, um... Sonic the restaurant. What can we even like? We like the restaurant and health. And we like investing in ourselves. And Sonic, the restaurant is a treat on weekends.

Yeah. I go there. I get. I get freaking milkshakes and French fries and burgers and hot dogs. Yep, yep. Whoa, what was that one? Hot dog. I don't even know what that's from.

That was cool, though. That's part of the finger. The F. You said finger. Okay. And I don't like the I don't like the bing bung-bong. What's so funny?

No, I don't like that. Okay, I like that. I like this one. We need topics. We need clean topics. What about this? Yeah, we need some topics. Topics.

Yeah. We're using the swear jar. And we like to drive a really. slow car because we don't like to speed because we don't need to get anywhere fast need. No, we don't. I move the word need to the end because I couldn't figure out a rap fast enough end.

I just have to move the word to the end and then I will type a message and press send. Yes, the speed, not for me. All I need is some good ass feet. Whoa! Wait, drop a bomb. Drop a bomb right now. Wait, wait.

He just said good a marijuana he just mentioned marijuana that's a buddy the dees lettuce have you ever seen this on a on a game that's

T or M yeah rated for drug references press the bomb have seen it Tony Huck yeah drug references

so you just reference you just reference drugs uh huh you reference drugs and that's not okay well okay I guess yes we are doing it

um secular yeah but as I stated before Church of Bill Hicks. It is part of my religion. So you're saying we need to make a religious exemption. It is a religious exemption for me to say that I love smoking cigarettes and drinking beer. Cigarettes is different.

Cigarettes. It is actually now legal. Give me a finger. Okay. You want a new finger? Finger me. Newly. I cannot even believe your behavior today.

Okay. Finger me. Give me a slow way. I said, wait. We stopped the beat. Say what? We snapped the beat for me. His attitude.

Here, I'm just going to go back into the first F for a second, and we'll go. I put these in order. I spent a lot of time, almost 30 minutes making all five of these Fs. And I don't remember which one is which. So we're just going to go through them in order. And if the next one isn't slow, there's nothing I can do. That's fine. You can finger me, whatever speed.

Hey. Enough of this. Okay, whatever. You can't swear, or you're going to get eaten by a bear. Dang. When you swear, it makes me feel bad. I got sweared out by my dad when I was a kid

Yeah Well that's referencing child abuse That's not referencing child abuse That's referencing What do you think of this Patrick's from the church of Bill Hicks Wait I can't even hear anything Okay

Patrick's from the church Of Bill Hicks He died from smoking cancer sticks Yeah Wow That was pretty Step the beat You were making fun of

what in my religion would be your Jesus Christ and look right here on the list Bill Hicks is Alex Jones that's a rumor he died from a big brain tumor I think we have no religious stuff in the list

I don't see anything here he's not a major religion no no no no no not a major religion but you what you shouldn't just I think the thing that makes this country great is the freedom of expression he just said make this guy he's your mega Hey, Patrick. Hey, Patrick.

This is what I think about Bill Hicks. I think you should go eat a bag of potato sticks. Wait, or you could bleep yourself, too. This is way too much for me. I can't also be bleeping. A bag of potato sticks is actually pretty good. Yeah, so that's what I was doing. I wasn't dissing at all.

I wasn't dissing. Yeah. And why would I need to censor potato sticks? There's also the, no dissing. Wait, okay, so we're supposed to do wrapping with no dissing. And also, we do a radio show. Hey, Patrick. If you can't rap without dissing and making others and punching down,

if you can't wrap without punching down, you are I wrapping store core, which is like the most PG rapping ever. Hey, Patrick, I heard that you follow Hicks Bill. Yeah, I heard it on the rumor mill. Wow. What do you think of that? I can't tell you.

I can't tell you. That's a diss. Yeah. Yeah, I heard that you got a Bill Hicks need. I hermit on the rumor weed. Oh. From Veggie Tales. Yeah, I heard that you think Bill Hicks is...

...Cucumber, his nephew, who is an asparagus. Yeah. They go on a lot of adventurous. And they go, and they go to the wall of Jericho, and they go on and on and on and on and on. Yeah, it's a show called Veggie Tales, and when it's entertainment, it never fails. I'll watch every single episode.

I'll never turn off my T-vode. Yeah. Cedric, the entertainer, and Steve Harvey, and Bernie Mac and D.L. You're not even rhyming. You're just saying things. Hugley rhymes with comedy. No, it doesn't.

Well, okay, Hugely, comedy. It's not Hugel. All right, I think we're going to move to the next F. Let's get to the next F. All right. Hold on, I have to stop this. That's right. That's I have to end all of them.

Yeah. All right. You guys ready for the next one? I am. All right, here it is. I don't remember what it is. Wait, this is actually good. Damn.

Okay. Switch it up. Hold on, hold on. Switch it up. Stop the beat. Stop it? Why do I have to keep stopping it? You start every single F with a D.

Oh, did I say D? You said D. I don't have you. Did I say D? I don't remember, but I believe it. Julio, can you run that back? We can't run that back. It's unrun backable.

No, it's impossible. Did you hear me say a D though? He said a D. I don't know. I'll trust Patrick, though. Okay, whatever. I'll put some of Patrick's money in the swear jar because he's so worried about it. Are you guys ready?

For a prickly pear. For F number two? I can say prickly pear. I can call you prickly pear. Prickly pairs, okay. That's fine. That's cool. That's fine.

I'm the only one here who cares about the rules. I think you're bowling into being a Karen. You are being a carrot. I want to just honestly, as much as I love the swear jar, as much as I love the swear jar, I really want to get through these five Fs of music. Okay, let's do it. Run that. Whoa.

Oh my God. Wait, that was so hard. That was so hard. Wait, stop it, stop it. That's right. Listen, I don't think, listen, that was one of those. That happens every once in a while. I'm swear.

Where they drop one that is just way too hard. And everybody just goes, oh, like, if you seen the video of Timbaland, He plays that song for Jay-Z, and Jay-Z makes his head hit the ceiling on the floor at the same time because he's so excited about it. This is the dirt off your shoulder. Do that one more time for me. Okay, all right. We just have to hear that again.

And you need to be ready. You need one of you guys needs to start here, okay? Yeah. All right. I'm going to do it again. Oh, my. Oh, that is disgusting. That's so good.

Listen up I went to Starbucks and I saw a Karen Grabbed her coffee said we are Sharon She said yo my name is actually Sharon I said ho you look like a Karen Then I grabbed her coffee and I spilled it Then I grabbed her muffin and I filled it That's right

S-E-X with her and I don't give an F you see K about her I don't care about the Karen's that I F I give him my finger and I tell her that I'm Jeff. I lie about my name. I lie about my age. I say I'm 13. They don't really know my age. It's actually about to be 26.

I turned 26 on Monday, the 25th. That's not true. Shut up. That's not your birthday. That's right. That's a bomb on you. Yeah. Yeah, I was at the Starbucks and I had to order a coffee full cup.

And I wanted it with oat milk. But then I was attacked by it. milf and she grabbed me and she did some stuff and i said no i just want my cup but then she took me in the bathroom and she sucked me up with a vacuum yep see you thought i was gonna swear but i never need words like that out of my hair yeah i keep them in my heart and i don't let them out and i don't say fart and i don't say loud yep the past two verses y'all been teetering on swears the cursus. I don't really know why this is allowed.

Turn the beat up. Let's get loud. Jennifer Lopez style. I think she sings that song. I don't really know. I need to go to the Starbucks too. I also got to go to Starbucks for this verse. I went to Starbucks on the first of the month because my girlfriend works there. Shouldn't give out her job on the show.

That's a bad idea. Someone might show up and assassinate her. Yeah. Or come over here to the studio and steal the swear jar. Someone might show up and order oat milk, but they turn out to be booth, comma, John Wilkes. Yep. Show up to, oh, wait. Ben, that was hard.

Show up to the Starbucks with the swear jar. Give her all the money. Say I want a Blair Clark. What's a Blair Clark? We don't have an item. It is called a Blair Clare. I'm meant to say bearclaw. I'm sorry. I'm drunk.

I'm sorry. I'm drunk. No, that was a joke. Don't kick me out the Starbucks. I just need the code for the bathroom so I can take a stinky logg. Drop a logg of poop, a log of it into the toilet when I go. And it'll make this sound. Wow.

That beat was so good. That really inspired me so much. I think that was by far our best finger. Yeah. I think it was pretty good. Yeah, that was a great finger number two. Oh, wait, I thought that was third. We got a speed around these fingers.

Okay, we're going to go to the next finger. Ready? Yeah. Ready for the next finger? All right, here it is. Okay. This one's a little faster. This one, yeah.

Kind of a DMX type. Yeah, but you can go slow on it if you want. This is like the clips. This is like grinding. Uh-huh. And then it also has this. Ah! No, I'm just kidding.

You put Simon's in this song. Put sirens in this song Respect the police Get some jackets for the cops Get them a fleece I go to the store And I get a fleets jacket North Face

North Face Uh oh this cop did Blackface on Halloween On it This cop did blackness On Halloween He got paid off from the union They gave him paid leave

Yeah Yeah I respect the cops Gave a paid leave on Halloween So he could go trick or treat in the neighborhood And the beat is way too loud He told me to turn it up I think that's because that rhymed It just rhymed

That's a good point Yeah The cop uses paid leave To pretend to be a kid And go around on Halloween In a costume he was Yu-Giyo He was Yamiugi from Yu-Giyo He would go toward a door

And dressed as the fair row The cop went on paid leave I think that he needs a red sleeve Because he is a freaking Nazi That's right All the cops are Nazis to me I respect the cops To do that job

You need incredible chops You need to enforce all the traffic stops Okay, it's pretty tough Imagine a cop with hops A cop on the court that can dunk real tall Or a cop that's a bunny rabbit Name Judy hops And she can dunk a basketball

She's seven feet tall A cop that's seven feet tall I'd be scared of that cop He'd stand on the turnstile Make sure no one hops Dang, a cop that's actually a hooper Who could stop an active shooter On the basketball quarter in the home

You know that when he dunks The whole place goes Oh Look at the cop He's got hops And he's got a mop top Because he's also part hippie cop He has a hippie outfit on

Oh my God That's right What if there was a hippie cop A guy who actually like peace and cop stuff. I think all cops are like that. That's right. I think that all cops are like that.

And they wear cool hats. And I like their uniforms. And I think that they obey all of the norms. I think that cops don't beat people. I think that they behave not evil. I think the cops are really good. And I think that their cars should be made of wood. Yep.

I think all cars should be made of wood. Because I don't believe in technology. Because I'm a guy and I don't know anyone in a Apology for my beliefs. Imagine a world of wooden cars. And wooden stars and wooden bars and wooden... Made out of wood, no metal. We never learned metallurgy.

I have allergies in the summer because of all the wood. We have to keep making wood. I'm allergic to birch pollen. Dang. Up in my nose, it gets pollen. The pollen. It makes me sneeze. That's right.

Wait, wait. Stop the pollen, please. No technology is what I need. I need a car that runs on my feet. That's right. I need a bird alarm clock. I need to put my jizz in a sock. It's okay to say jizz.

It's not on the list. That's right. Don't slap my wrist because I just said a naughty word. Look right there. At the list, there is a J word, above our word, under C word, and under butt. Wait, he just a couple butts. You just said, but it's okay to say. But it's okay to say in the context.

We already decided that today It's like you didn't pay any attention to the list On this episode of Podcast About List I paid attention I also paid detention Paid many times into the swear war jar The swear jar I think that this will go far

When we go to Locks for Love And get me a new wig With this brand new With the money that we have raised If you want a new wig When I was in high school Locks for Love came to my school and I shamed off all my hair

It was a really weird thing We used to have pep rallies for it Used to have to go to the gym And go to the pep rallies for it Now we're just kind of telling stories Really, really fast And nothing is really rhyming even at all And if you skip the pep rally

You get in trouble Yeah That really burst my bubble Okay, that story Seriously had no stinger But are you ready for the next finger Yes Yeah

There goes finger Wait these transitions are crushing my brain. This one's got a little bit of a Latin flair. Okay, Julio. Let's hear you. Let's hear you. Let's go.

A green, clean, freestyle from the mean nacho cheese style guy that we have. Go ahead. Dang, here he goes. Wait, he's getting out. He's leaving the room. No, no, no, he's leaving the room. No, get back here.

He doesn't want a freestyle. I think he's coming back with a Coke freestyle. He got a Coke. free stop machine in his house because it's real cheap to get that in his house come on one line one line we want him to do one bar we want one bar we want one bar to do one bar let's hear a bar okay all right then we're just going to wrap as you for a while my name is poolio and I'm coolio that's right no no no okay well wait yeah all right you got to feel it for a second yeah you got to let that beat ride yeah yeah yeah chop so nah nah nah nah nah nah no That's one of the best beats I've ever heard. That sounds better. Maybe Julio will want to jump on the beat now. No, he's a coward.

Okay. All right. Look, I have no bars. Yeah, my name is Julio, and I'm from Mexico. Yeah. And my rhymes are Coolio. They make people say, let's go. Like Mario.

I am Hario is my name. Like Mario. He's at the barrio, which I don't remember. I think that name's neighborhood or something, right? Mario? Maybe. Like Mario. I got a cousin named Franklin.

Yep. My name is Mario and my villain's name is Wario. Yep. I got cousin named Franklin. And you know when he walks his leg is stanklin, he got hit by a car. He got hit by a car when he was 15. Basically destroyed all the bones in his leg. And it didn't get back together right.

Yep. You don't really need to rhyme when you do a freestyle. out because you can't really have, you can't really think that much. Okay, this is bad. This one is taking my head way too many times. Okay, let's talk about, let's talk about, uh, yeah, let's get a word here. Let's get a topic. Divorce.

Divorce. Okay. Then let's go to the next finger for divorce. No, next one is the last finger. No, no, we gotta finish this finger first. Yo, my parents got divorced. I'd fix it if I had the force. I'd use my hands to make them kiss.

I'd use my hands to eat their piss. I'd eat my own parents pee. Oh my God, wait. I'd make them smile and do it for free. This is crazy. I'd go, what? Just you keep going. Oh. I do divorce with the force. I do the anti-divorce force. I'd make them touch each other's legs. I'd make him touch each other's hands. I'd touch their heads and put them together. I make them head by tooth in the weather. Make them wear two matching sweaters. I said, I'm with stupid. I'm with Cupid. I'm with foolish. I'm with bluish. I'm with a Jewish guy. He is my friend. His name is Fry. Fry. Fry is kind of a Jewish guy's name. I think at least, or is that lame?

You're thinking of a cartoonish guy's name. My bad. I'm thinking of Futurama. I didn't mean to make Jewish drama by accusing private. Oh my God. I really am clueless. That's my bad. But I do fuck with Lila's dad.

He has one eye. He's from this. You F with Lila's dad? Full F word. And piss. Full F word. But hottest freestyle yet. Hottest freestyle.

Yeah. No, there's no doubt about that. Because I was with Lila's dad in the... I came up in the gutter with Lila's dad. Uh-huh. And I was a mutant with Lila's dad and her mom, too. And you said P-I-S-S. I'm with Lila's dad, and we are in the gutter.

And he is making me a sandwich called Jelly Peanut Butter. Dang. It's a sandwich that's backwards, and I am rapping with Wackwords, because I can't think of anything to rhyme, because it's going too fast for me to think in time. Mm-hmm. And I just want to eat my sandwich, And I think that Leila's mom is a bland witch.

Yeah. Because she is a mutant and I don't like mutants. And I think that she is a mutant. And I really don't like mutants. And I think mutants are good. And my window needs new tint in my car. I would say you need an improv class. Yeah.

Yeah. You need UCB01. I took it. It was so fun. I made so many friends for life. I think I met my future wife. I got an A. I had to play every day in improv games.

It was so fun. Oh, my God, I got to go back to the UCBO 101. Maybe I'll do 103 next time. I'll skip 102. I'll skip right to 103. That's right. That one is, get the bomb ready? Object work.

Yeah. Wow. Again, you said D. You said D in that song. Guys, we'll catch up at the end, okay? Yeah, we'll pay. I finally got into my freestyle zone, so I just got to let it fly. The thing is, we were doing so good yesterday.

I thought it was a warm up. I think I actually drained myself. You drained yourself? I think I drained all my good rhymes about Dracula. We did rhyme about Black Dracula for about 30 minutes. Yeah. I have no rhymes. I think the type of music that I do is...

I mean, you've all seen songs Sunday is the type of music that I do is mostly. It's all in the interest of rhyming. Yeah, right. This is not racial. No. All right, let's go to the next finger then. The next one's the last one, right? If you think that this is a racial rap, you're crazy.

We'll go to the... Okay, because the last one I do remember... Okay. This is the one that is, this is the last one. Okay. So it's a, maybe it will be a little intense, you know. Yeah. So I don't know if you guys are ready for this.

I'm ready. But this will, here, you ready? Yeah. I'm going to hit it. Yeah. Because you guys might have a reaction to this. I don't, I'm the cool hand Luke, dude. I don't remove you say so.

I'm not. I'm warm ham. Warm ham. Warm ham. I'm wormham, Dan. I'm warm hand Dan. I'm, yeah. I'm going to flip out.

Wow. Yep. Just the drums and the words. That's all it's about. I'm a blacked out Dracula, born and raised in Africa. Eat you with a spatula. And Dracula. I don't remember what the rest of it was, but it was fire.

Oh, I'm attacking you. I'm attacking you. I'm attacking you because I'm Dracula. Straight from Africa. Speaking to Dracula, last night Caleb saw Robert Pattinson. Then he saw a woman get her face battered in. Whoa, by Better Man. No, Better Man wasn't there.

Batterman was in the B-A. air. He was in a place called Ear in that I went in. And yes, I sinned. I drank too much in the bar. I had a tequila soda. It got me really far. And then I farted when I was three feet from Batman. I didn't mention that earlier because it was embarrassing.

But I farted in the bar and a guy said, what the fuck? Somebody farted in here. Yeah, you farted in your bet. He said, what the fuck? I'll count that. Not count that as a swear because it's being the song and you can say what the funk if it's a funk song He farted technically a funk song because there's a beat and it's a song He farted near Batman

Okay wait I need I lost the yeah fart in your Batman Yeah, yeah he fart in your Batman call it I'm completely losing the right. I think I'm gonna faint We're gonna let him we're gonna let him touch this You shush shush He fart in your Batman. I call that Joker gas He smelled so bad someone said someone's smoking Oh, that's a dollar. That's a dollar.

Nobody said that you weren't there. Yeah. But it was just a story. That man. I make up a story where I say I was fucking pussy and shitting in my own fucking asshole. What? That's a story. That's not a story.

You were trying to circumvent a swear jar. I'm not complaining that I swear. You said no one said that. I'm saying I know no one said that. It's a story. No, you did pay. I owe like $10. So you just kind of went off for no reason.

Yeah. I kind of popped off for no reason. You owe so much. Caleb can't stop swearing. I don't know why. It's like he's daring. And what the hell is this guy wearing? He said,

H-E-L. Oh, my gosh, he's going to jail. Yep, going to swear jail. At a certain point, we're going to get a swear jail. Not a problem for me to pay because I'm a dang millionaire. Oh. We're going to get a thing called the swear jair. It's a dog cage.

Put you in the swear jail. If you swear too much one episode, we're going to have a camera point. Oh, that's a great idea. You have to do the whole episode from a swear tail, which is a dog crate. It's a dog crate. Caleb's going to live in. Wait. Because he swore too much on the show.

I'm trying to think of. Wait, you're on the precipice of something right here. Oh, my God. Jesus kind of thing going on. This is like, I'm thinking that this is this like a, um, Dang. Animal Crossing type beat. Animal Crossing.

Animal Crossing. When you go into someone's basement, you got to fight all the cockroaches. Uh-oh. First part of that word could have been encroaching on a swear word. Dang, yes, sir. Go off. Yep. I like this beat.

I like the sound. Saxophone on the beat. Let's go. Let's go to the stove. We're going to go back to Starbucks where the Karen was. With a Karen's flow At Starbucks, the Karen's flow Just like me

Are you guys ready for the beat change? I am I'm ready for the beat Wait, I thought that was the last beat You thought this was the last beat? Yeah, I did It's the same beat but there's a change It's not even, it's final form

There's gonna be a beat change You're someone start doing it I'll change it in the middle Okay I went to Dunkin' Donuts And I saw a Karen there I seen her from the back She had the classic Karen hair

It was blonde as heck And it didn't look so fair So I walked up to her And I hit her with my freaking snare Give me a snare That's a snap Yep Yeah hit her with that

Hit her with that In the back of the head She fell over She's dead She dropped her ice cream cone I hit her with my bone I am a caveman Walking around a modern world

I am a caveman And I have a hairy caveman girl Also, the Dunkin' Donuts was a combination, Baskin Robbins. That's right. 23 flavors, rum raisin. Damn. I need that.

I'm a caveman walking into the ice cream store. I said, 23 flavors, do you have maybe one more? I asked for Mammoth, asked for Rock. They said, no, I grabbed my Glock. I put it in their face. I said, give me my flames. Oh. I may have messed up there.

I think it's 23 flavors for Dr. Pep Bear. That's what Robin's 31. That's right. I walked into the Dr. Pepper outlet the other day. I gave them all the flavors, and I said this drink is way too sweet for me. You need to make a diet version. They accuse me of being a soda virgin. I said, I've had soda before.

Please do not call me different. I told them that if they don't give me soda, I'll act ignorant, and I will throw a stick of dynamite in here. And then I will go to the bar and get adult soda. Beer. Wow. And now just for everyone's information, there is a Dr. Pepper outlet. You can go there on vacation. That's right. It's in Asia. So is Asian. And the owner's Haitian. Yeah, that's right. His name is Barry. And yes, his back is hairy. Yep. I seen his back because I worked there. And he used to change in the bathroom. You should change in the bathroom.

A lot of people would see him change because he biked to work. That's right. He had a recumbent bicycle and it's so low to the flow. To the earth. That's what you should say. To the earth said.

Yeah. Yeah. If you're a rubber, if you're a rubber papa. If you're, that was his last name, Barry Rubba Papa. We should get political.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. No. If you're a Democrat, I'll defend you.

Love Obama. He's from Kenya. Bomb drop. Bomb drop. It's not on the bomb drop. See, this is so confusing. The bomb drop. That's right.

Man. All right. I mean, is that all the fingers? That's all the fingers right there. That's all the fingers, except this one. Yeah. That's not actually a finger. All right.

Drop a beat. real quick. Wait, drop a beat for Pat. He needs a beat right now. Because I have to play us out. Yeah. Tell us about, uh... I hope this beat didn't leave your ears beating on the 28th.

There's a shareholder meet in... That's right. Wow. Yeah, yeah. I think it's the 28th. What day is it? Hey, Jubio. Can you look that up?

Can you see the digits on a calendar? I said up because I wanted... When I said, what day is it, I really wanted to rhyme that with Idgett. Oh, which I can't really say. So right now, I am about to pay. You're going to pay. Is that a parody swear, which would fall under parody law? See, it's not a parody.

It's just how a cowboy would say it. Yeah. And by the way, if you hate this song, we don't rap on the Patreon. That's right. Go to the website. Give us some money so that we never do this again. And if you hated this episode, I got one thing to say to you. Eat a load.

You. Eat a load of vegetables. Eat your vegetables. They are delectable. Technically, we did do a list. It's a list of band swear words. A list of fingers. And a list of fingers.

Five fingers of music. Wait, really quick, let's go down our list of swears. The F word. The S word. The B word. And the A word. The other S word. The other F word.

And any racial slurred word. And no idiot. And no D word. And no hockey sticks. Heck is allowed. Boner. You can't say it But just a couple C word

J word, R word O-O-A-S B word for pussy D word for dick Suck Meanness is a swear Todgers Anti-Cop rhetoric

Nastiness Pedophilic joking Sexual gesturing Drugs Karen Ho Damn Wow All right bye guys This is a new era

That was fun.