Podcast About List - Ep. 239 - The Death of the Swear Jar

Episode Date: April 26, 2023

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Well, well, well, look what you've driven us to. Look what the... I don't even want to say it. I don't even want to talk about this. Look what the fuck is going on. Yeah. Biches. You fuckers.

You fucking fucks. Poopie eating? Yeah. You, and you're not very nice. Tadr. Balls up your ass. I'll put my balls in your ass. A Tadgers, a Tadjors excrement.

You shite, man. You are all pieces of dew. Bastad. Bastad. Bastad? Biaht. Bich. Bich.

Sleth. Stupid slut. Biach, slut. Stupid slut. Hort. Hid tits. Come guzzle. Stupid slut with big tits and a fat ass.

Yeah. Fuck you. You fucking biotch. Long-haired bitch. Yeah. With hair all the way down. White. And skimpy clothes on.

You blitz. You white bitch. High-heeled whore. Yeah. Looking like a complete slut with a job. Mm-hmm. A woman with a job. Yeah.

Instead of a stay-at-home mom. You look like the brown M&M with her pussy out. Oh. Her brown. Skin care makeup. Her chocolate pussy. See, so now we're doing this shit again. So this crap.

See the shit. The shit and fucking shit. She we can say shit and fuck. But it's shit. The whole thing's a shit show now. because of fuckers. Because of ass clowns that decide to get their

fuck goblin fingers all over our fuck waffle swear jar and up the ass and it's up there douching ass we have decided we're not

deliberation that swearing is back on the menu because some of you people just can't pull that list of swears up Jubio yeah when we're going to delete these

we're going to go through the whole thing and we're going to say all of of them. Yep. We're gonna go in a circle. Yeah.

Because this is what you guys wanted, right? You wanted fuck. Fuck. And the fuck finger. And fuck finger. F word finger. You thought that was fine. S.

Pward. You wanted shit. You wanted bitch. Botch. You wanted a word? Ass, asshole, ass clown, ass jockey. Other S words.

The other S word. The other S word. I think it was stupid. No, no, no, no. The other S word was, because I couldn't say it back then, sperm, semen. Oh, sperm, semen.

Okay. Shut up. Friken or fart or something. We guys will skip racially sort words. Mick. Yeah, okay, Mick, yeah. Idiot.

We said idiot. We said idiot. We're saying, damn. We're saying hell. We're saying boner. I have a fucking boner for hell. Play the boner sound. Boner. There we go.

Butt, butt cheeks, butt ass. We could say 24. C word is, I don't even like saying that. Really fucking, really fucking, fucking boobs.

Yeah. Really big boobs was the R word. P word P.Wor pussy. Dick for dick. Fuck you, Cameron and Patrick.

Meanness was a swear back then. Todgers. I already said Toddger. I said Todger up the top. I love being nasty and sucking dead. Now we can say wazoo. Yeah. Pedophilic joking.

I fucking love pedophiles or some shit. I don't know. Sexual gesturing. Ah, here's me fucking jacking off a petfiles. Okay. drugs. I'm smoking crack with a

Karen who's a ho. Yeah, crackhead energy. Pants can be a cuss. Guess how a sag my pants are right? Lushes down to my ankles. You are daft. I don't do that. We don't need this. We've spilled enough. We did spill. There's enough spilling on this table. Liam Fogg. Who said Fock was my kid friend. Oh, sexual C word clapping them cheeks. Yep. Wet. Oh, I get, no, no. No, you almost got me.

Nice tries. That was really close. He almost got me. He almost got me. I heard him say, he almost got me. Nobody's stopping. And you know what? You know what?

Him adding that to the list to try and get us, that's a swearception. That is a swearception. So obviously we're done. And listen. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Put racial back on, I guess. Well, I just end.

Well, we're not going to have a jar, so there's no way to know. That's on you guys. If it happens, it happens. I'm so sorry to say. You guys wouldn't like the swear jar. but we think that it was a big enough part of the history of this show that I think it's it it couldn't just disappear no there needs to be a proper

I mean we have to do what we originally were going to do yeah so I mean I think that we you guys knew that the whole point of this thing was always to do it for one year as a way to raise as much money for charity as possible and at the end of that year when it was full and we were saying full to the brim to the brim you know what we should done before this. What is calculated who added the most. Well, it wasn't you. It wasn't me. It doesn't matter. No, I'm taking my dollars back. Yeah, I know. Well, that also, so we can calculate whose dollars were whose first and foremost. I'm going to start counting. And then second and foremost, then we would have known who donated the most to charity out of the three of us who

would have been a competition. It doesn't listen. It's not a competition. It's not a competition between the three of us. And I'm sorry for talking over, but not a charity between the three of us, but the charity between two of you, which that I would be able to watch for my amusement. You said a charity between the two of you? A charity competition between the two of you, which I could watch. So right now what I'm doing,

if Eagle-Ead fans will notice, I took out a tape measure in my little calculator here, and I'm calculating right now the volume. Yeah, that's right. We're doing a little mathematics. Yeah, I'm calculating the volume of the swear jar, and we are going to find out exactly because we were going to do this for a year,

And you guys didn't want us to. And you stopped us. I have to add it. We are going to fill that to the brim, right? And you were to think, you would think, oh, they got to get rid of all the money that's in the swear jar, right? They got to take all of it out. They're going to take all of it out.

It's going to reset. No, we had eight or nine more swear jars over there. Looked exactly the same. Yeah. So we're going to keep replacing them out. So imagine how much we would have accumulated into the swear jar, right? Now multiply that by nine or ten. What I've just done right now, Patrick, is we don't have to imagine because I've done the calculations.

And I can tell you exactly how much in cubic inches, the capacity of this jar is 661.87, which we can round that to 662. I feel like, 662 cubic inches. And I'm going to look up and see if I can find the volume of a dollar. Yeah. Which, and there's fivers in there, too. There's fine. And by the way, we were switching to a bunch of points. We were going to switch to hundreds only this week.

but you guys stopped us. So there is $30 in just bills here. And I would estimate, I'm not going to count these coins, you know, because I'm not a homeless person, but these are probably another $10. I'm going to be honest with you. Yeah. That is maybe around $5.

That? Yeah. I see a lot of quarters. You know what? You could be right. That could be $10 because that was my laundry money. I would guess that was about $7 in quarter. So all in all, again, we'll round up.

How about for the rest of the episode, we just count those coins? Wait, hold on. Okay. I have discovered on Google, I've looked this up here on my trusty iPad, and the volume of a dollar bill in cubic inches is 0.068. So how many, so if we did, we do, I got this, guys, guys, I've got this math, two, okay, divided by 0.068. And this is going to, this is how, assuming these are $1 bills only. Yeah, this number is how much. Yeah, let's get an estimate.

Okay. $10 billion. All right, let's see here. With $1 bills, the swear jar at the end of the year would have contained $9,735, but it was going to be hundreds. It was going to be hundreds. So that's times 100. And how many swear jars did you say we have, Patrick? Nine or ten.

Nine or ten. So let's go with ten. We'll go with ten times ten. So that is approximately, and this is a low ball estimate, that is 9,733,000. $25, $294.10. I was off. Without accounting for the coins, I should have. Yeah.

And we've been rounding. I was off in billions, but I mean, I was close. You were very close. We've been rounding up. Yes. We've been rounding up on everything, so we'll just round down, say, $9 million. Yeah. So we were going to have about $9 million by the end of the year.

Yeah. And this was going to be, we hadn't decided on one charity yet. We were going to. Because that's the thing. That's the thing. We like them all. It's hard to decide. It's hard to decide which one is the best one.

We had been doing some research into some charities. You know what? Let's go ahead and give these people a call. We were going to call them and we were planning at the end of the year being able to call these people and say, how would $9 million change? Would it make a dent? Would it make a dent?

So let's go ahead and call, let's call no kid hungry. How about that? Yeah, that sounds good. All right, let's see. Would you say that that, no, that you put here is an A. Yeah. That's a four that I messed up.

That is an A. I make a lot of typos when I write with a pencil. All right. Guys, I'm calling No Kid Hungry. Hello, and thank you for calling. Share Our Strength and the No Kid Hungry campaign. Oh. Our business hours are Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 5.30 p.m.

Well, that's good news. It's in order to direct your call to the appropriate standard. It's Monday at 2. Yeah, it's Monday. Oh, it's a row. Okay. For donor assistance, pressed one. It's probably,

probably donor assistance. Yeah, I think so. We go and get up the people. Yeah, get this PowerPoint up. Calls may be monitored or recorded to provide you with a quality experience. Thank you for calling No Kid Hungry's donor relations department. If you want to speak to a representative, please press one. Yeah, that's an easy choice.

all right okay so in the meantime no kid hungry this is stephen burns how may I assist you hi there Stephen I just have a question for you for no kid hunger that is your charity right how would

a nine million dollar donation change your charity that would be very very beneficial it would be one dollar would be 10 meals, so an equivalence of $9 million, that would be an equivalence of 90 million meals. 90 million meals, that's how much that would be?

Yes, sir. Well, that is great, but I have some awful news, which is that we were in the process of raising $9 million to donate to No Kid Hungry, and a man named Death Roll 57. he ended it. He ended it just by complaining. So isn't that awful? That is very sad news. I'm really, really sorry. I just wanted to personally call you and tell you, I'm so, so sorry that Frack 7190 wanted the swear jar bit to go, and we had to cut it short. I'm so sorry to have that, sir.

Yeah, it really is just awful. So I hope that you have a good rest of your day. And if we do end up making the money, then I'll give you a call. Okay? And hopefully I'll, uh, it'll be under better circumstances. So thank you, Stephen. Yeah, thank you. Bye.

That just breaks your heart to have to do. That is so depressing. I don't want to have to be making these phone calls. No, me neither. Do you realize how uncomfortable this is for me? I know. To have to call these people and say, your lives are almost changed

but these scumbags online these fuckers I'll say it I can say it now we can say whatever we want and you know what I really I really can't make these calls why

because it's gonna make me upset it makes all of us upset yeah it's really upsetting I don't like having a touch of Steve is saying that are you kidding me that's awful no it's not right

did you hear him That was the saddest thing I've ever heard. That was truly the sad. And you know what? It's because of people like Zero Arc who say that they hate charity. Oh my God. Listen, all right. I had to hear the light leave a man's voice.

That is so awful. And he didn't sound like it had a whole lot of light to begin with. No, definitely not. I heard him perk up. that was terrible yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna start calling the next person we'll keep going but yeah so i mean

90 million meals that would change so many lives the ASPCA yeah i hope you fuckers don't like animals this is a medical to report animal cruelty in new york city please press three they're kind of being cruel to us online

outside of new york city please press four for ASPCA pet health insurance I don't think they do donations. For information on animal cruelty laws in your state, please press SET. Wait, we want a person or a dog. For ASPCA premium gift requests such as T-shirt, please press FET. Oh, that's kind of tempting.

That could go to, this money could go to a T-shirt. Please press 9. I think we're out of options. Yeah. Representative. Thank you for contacting the ASPC. Is it going to repeat? Yeah, I think it's going to repeat.

Remember to make pet adoption your first option. I'm like you listening to this. It's kind of fun. All right, they hung up on me. Damn. All right, try the next one. I'll go to the next one. The next one is homes for our troops.

Okay. Homes for our troops. Let's go ahead and give them a call and let them know the bad news. Yeah. It really is awful that we have to call every single charity. Our fans have inflicted on us. Yeah. Here we go.

Okay. Hi there. Hi there. I'm speaking to the charity homes for our troops right now. Yes, you are. And you guys accept donations from corporations? Yes, we do. Great.

Yeah, I just, I wanted to ask you, because we had a donation lined up that was, would $9 million be an acceptable donation for your organization? Would that move the needle in any meaningful way? It's absolutely what. Do you know exactly what this money would be going towards, like how we would? would be helping out these veterans with the $9 million? We would be constructing new home build. New homes?

Wow. Wow. Well, that is unfortunate because we did have a fundraiser going to raise $9 million, but unfortunately a few bad actors actually were able to get their fingers into it and interfere. And it was people, such as people like Zero Arc 14, who said that they didn't like charity, they didn't want the fundraiser to go through, as well as Ben Beechy, 8962, actually quoted as saying swear jar now, like four episodes past being funny.

And these people, they actually lowered our donation amount from $9 million to much lower, I believe even below $40. So we're going to work on trying to get that number up and maybe get to the original goal of $9 million, but it's not looking so good due to a lot of people online. All right. Well, I'm very sorry to have to tell you the bad news. I hope you have a good day. I know this can be tough. It's tough for us. But I'll hopefully be talking to you again soon with better news. All right. Well, thank you for calling. Thank you so much. It's tragic. It's emotional.

I'm not laughing. I'm crying. It's really emotional. I'm crying. It's terrible. I really think that Patrick has to do one. I really think he needs to do one. It's going to take me a minute.

I think would you rather do the coalition for the homeless or the Ocean Conservancy? Those are your two options. The Ocean Conservancy. That's what you want to do? Come on. Come on. You have to call them. You have to call the ocean concerns. And the fans are making us do this. We don't want to do it. I wish I could call them, but I can't read this number. I'll put it in for you. It says Batsig. Yeah, that, what is that another zero? That says BATSIG. All right. Don't worry, Pat. I'll do it. I'll call for you. Well, what if this is another ASPCA. Well, we'll figure that out, won't we? Yeah. I mean, there's millions of charities. in the world that we're unable to donate to

due to the cruelty. Yeah. So bad actors. There you go. You're on the phone with them. It's great. Thank you for calling Ocean Conservancy's National Office in the mic.

Our business hours are 9 a.m. to 5.30 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday through Friday. Please listen to the following menu selections. If you would like to make a contribution or have membership questions, please press two. Two. For human resources, please press three. We would like to make a contribution. Yeah. For our mailing address.

or web address, please press one. To leave a message in the general mailbox, please press zero. Don't press zero. Wait, wait. I don't know which one I pressed. Hold on. He pressed zero to leave a message in the mailbox. I'll leave a message.

Don't leave a message. Okay, I'll call them if you're going to leave a message. Yeah. You got canned. I'm getting cold feet. I can't. All right. Call the Ocean Conservancy.

We'll make you call the cold. for the homeless. Pat, we'll find a nice AIDS charity for you to call. Yeah, and for you to give them the news. I get like a beer or something. Could maybe do it then.

You want to press number two. You want to press number two. Please listen to the following menu selection. It didn't work. Yeah, their thing is kind of weird. We've learned. I don't think we should call an AIDS charity.

Why? I think that that's too much. What if we give them the $30? I mean. Okay, here we go. Got the PowerPoint up? Okay, but you don't think they don't want my call. That's why I think you should leave a message.

You know what? Maybe fuck these fucking hippie whale fuckers over there in the ocean. Maybe they heard that. All right, I'm going to try the four for a pressing inquiry. This is a pressing, they're definitely a pressing inquiry. Thank you for calling Ocean Conservancy's National Office in Washington, D.C. Oh, my God. They hate us.

well that's a big nothing that's pretty disappointing they're going to be really sad when they find out that's kind of the point that the $9 million we emailed them about is not coming it's not coming so all also

I know these these representatives wouldn't know this right off the head but we told them in advance yeah we let them know of course we let them know I mean a big donation and I don't even think we mentioned

I don't even think we went as high as nine I think because we hadn't but we ballparked we said five so they it was so exciting for us when we realized that it was going to be more than that, you know, and that we were going to be able to call these charities

and say, say, hey, we have $9 million. We have $9 million. Which they, again, 90 million meals. Do you remember that? For children? For children. Did you hear the joy in his voice when I told him

that he was about to be able to hand hungry kids on the verge of death? He was about 90 million children better lives. 90 million meals. Or about 30 million children because they need three meals a day. one good day. There is going to give 30 million kids of one good day of eating.

So I feel sick to my stomach. Frankly, I feel fucking sick. And I am ashamed of the people who listen to this podcast. Yeah. And you know what? Why don't we call some of them right now? Okay.

Some of the people. Yeah, that's perfect. Some of the people who text me, suck my balls, you dork. Yeah, call him right now. Yeah. call this guy. Yeah, call that guy. He says, meet me and saluda. Call. Okay.

Call. Go ahead. Start. How carrier calling works. If you're not calling over the internet. Which of these phone numbers? Yeah, scroll up and look. Which of these is the best bet? Hmm. For, I would say

probably legacy gifts or the adoption hotline. All right. I'm going to call the adoption hotline right now really quick while Pat looks at this.

I mean, look at this paltry offering. Yeah. This is disgusting. Is there a punch-in that we have of this poultry offering?

If this was every... This may be monitored or recorded to provide you with a quality experience. Yeah, this is, it says everyone is dying to P.O.V.

These are the children who don't have any meals. Hello? Thank you for calling. My name is Rose. How can I help you? Hi there. I'm on the phone with the World Wildlife Fund right now, correct?

Yes. Great. Well, I'm actually with a corporation that we were looking to make a large donation in the future to the tune of about $9 million. And I was wondering if that money would be useful to you guys, if that would make a dent, and what exactly that would go? to, you know, if that could maybe help the wildlife of the world and maybe make a dent in some of the horrible atrocities being inflicted against nature by a lot of these big corporations

nowadays. I understand. Why could you lose, I think, after your first and then connect you with members that we gave you the information? Okay, well, unfortunately, you know, I didn't want to have to do this immediately, but I don't think it's going to be much used to transfer me over because the donation that we were looking to make $9 million that fell through, and we have, you know, about maybe $30-ish dollars.

And it's people on the internet, like this user, Blort, who have decided that $9 million is not a good amount to donate to charity. And they'd rather it be not even in the triple or quadruple digits, but rather in the double digits. And actually included a large pile of coins as well. And it's people like Blort and like Hunter Mello Potvin who don't like fundraising. Yeah, it's disgusting. Well, I really appreciate that you would like to transfer me and get this $9 million through.

You're not going to get $9 million from it because there is no $9 million. And it's all because of, you know, people online. So I just wanted to convey the bad news. Georgio. Okay. Well, thank you for calling me all right. Well, thank you. You have a good day as good as you can have under the circumstances.

Bye. So, anyway, I mean, that was, you know, we just had to get that out of the way. You know, we just had to get that out of the way. You know, we just had to, I mean, I mean, okay, so the point is, the swear jar is gone. It's gone. It'll never come back. It's never coming back. Except maybe next week. Maybe it's coming back.

No, no, it's not coming back. It's over. It's done. All right. You know why. I've thought about this, okay? I've thought about what I was going to say when eventually we got bullied into taking away the swear jar.

Yeah. We are not despots. We are not. We're not. We're not. We listen. We have an ear for democracy. Yeah.

We listen to what you say. her into it. We have no choice but to listen. So we are not communist China, communist Russia. No, no. I am no dictator. I don't have the, I may have the stature for it and the general kind of alpha dog commanding speaking voice. Some of us have, some of us have anxiety. Yeah, but I. And when you have to make a phone call. Yeah, exactly. It makes you really scared. Yeah. That's true, yeah. He gets some, some people are too scared to answer the phone call from just, yeah. Even anyone.

From pretty much anybody. Yeah. So what I'm saying is we listened and we are, we, we did it what you wanted. This is what you wanted. Because in the end, it's a democracy. Yep. It really is. So if you ever want us to do anything, you just tell us.

And you ever want us to stop. We'll get right ahead. Listen. We'll call this person right now who says. What do you say? Doesn't know what he said. Tap and talk. Okay, who's this?

I don't know. Okay. Is this a charity? No, it's just a layman. A what? Just a layman. A layman. Just one of these nothings that interacts with us?

All right, well, at least leave my message. Yeah. Do you know what their name is? No. No? I don't know who this is. Okay. Is it going to say their number?

It's going to say their number. So, fuck them. They decided to message you. That's true. All right. Wait, he's got to leave. Yeah, we've got to talk really loud. No, I don't care if this fucking bastard.

Fuck this guy. All right. Go ahead and leave a message, Pat. Hi, this is Patrick Doran from Podcast About List. I'm sure that you're aware that there was a on the most recent string of episodes there was a swear jar

and I just wanted to I just wanted to let you know that the swear jar is gone and it's your fault it's your fault you and all of the listeners have all democratically are elected to get rid of the swear jar through

tell them what we were going to do with the money Oh, we were going to deck-touple it, which is times it by 10, and donate it to the ASPCA, the homeless veterans charity, the Ocean Conservatory. Yeah, we're going to donate it to all of these people. And tell them what we just had to do. We just had to call them. We just had to make a bunch of cold calls and tell all of these charities that we can't donate to them. So basically, go fucking kill yourself. Don't say kill yourself.

Okay, I mean, not. Why did you say kill themselves? They said, I love podcast about lit. That's their phone number. Wait, why did you call that person? I don't know. Now, you showed me all these people who were like, oh, they're texting me saying,

fuck you, fuck this person. And I told this person I told this person to kill themselves. That's on you. That's not you. You were the one. Why would you call this person? I'll call the person who's done with. We're done with calls. We're done. We're done. You lost your chance on calling.

I'm sure that now people are sick of all the calls. It's done. Yeah. So let's just start the normal podcast. Let's start. I have the craziest story to tell them. What is this? This is nothing. The ball sucker? It's going to be another message. They don't, people don't answer the phone call. People who text you are even more scared of phone calls than you are. It's true. Hang up on this fool. Yeah.

Alright, what's your crazy story? So do you guys remember, I think it was maybe a week or two ago, we came up with the idea of a, um, uh, sent the opposite of a sensory deprivation tank. I forget what we called it, but it's like, it stimulates all your senses at once. Yeah. Like it's every, it goes, it's like, uh, like, uh, sweet and then salty and sweet and sweet and salt and like just every and everything alternates and is crazy. And I, I was in the real life version of that on the other day and it shook me to, my core. I've, I have decided that this is, that this idea, we cannot allow this to come to fruition. Why is that? And because I had, I was mentally stimulated to my breaking point on the

subway. And here's what happened. Okay. I was on the subway, um, and with my fiance. And we were riding the subway. And I, and I, there was a guy who was watching videos on his phone. Yeah. Okay. With the sound on. And he was acting kind of crazy. He was doing crazy guy stuff. He was, you know, rubbing his face and sniffling and doing crazy. Do you know that you know the type of crazy thing I'm talking about? Like he's acting thirsty. He's like, he's acting like a thirsty. He's doing like like the tweaking then, right?

And he's on his phone watching videos. I look at his phone. I'm like, what is this guy watching and he's freaking out about? He was watching on his phone. He was watching gore compilations of people being killed. He was watching like children's heads being smashed in and like soldiers being shot. Holy shit. I started having like full

I was like having a full panic attack of like oh my god this guy's gonna kill everyone on this train I have to be ready to get up and tackle this guy sitting right next to him he reaches into his pocket lower on the bridge

I was like fuck fuck fuck he takes out not a gun I was like thank God it's not a gun but what it was was a thing of fireball he starts chugging the fireball still watching these videos like scrolling through them choosing them watching them scrolling through

and then right then the train like stops and we're stuck between stations for like 10 minutes and I leaned over to my friends I said I said I was completely freaking out

she did not notice this was going on at all and I just said to her like listen we have to get off this train at the next stop I'll tell you why in a minute we just have to get off yeah so I'm like fully like

complete I am going to die mode and we the train starts moving again we get to the next stop this guy he gets up he leaves the train okay and I was like I was like okay

we don't have to leave anymore that guy was going to kill us, but he's not going to kill us anymore. Literally the second he leaves the train, I'm not shitting you, 20 to 30 Amish people get on to the train. And they're all smiling and dancing. And the kids are going, whoa, it's going so fast.

Oh my gosh. I can't believe it. And they're all laughing and smiling, and they fill the entire terrain. And they're all in their outfits. So, wait, they're not Amish. They're, what are they called? Hussied.

No, no, no. No, the other one. The ones who, the, the other guys. I don't know. You know what I'm talking. Oh, yeah, Quakers. No, not Quakers. Not Gideons.

No, I don't know. They were basically Amish. Menonites, menonites. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Mennonites are the ones that have flip phones, right? Yeah, they have phones and they can go into cities. And they can make cars.

But they look, but they look, and they were acting on. They were, they were, they were incredulous of the train. That's what all the, all the pictures where you'll see where it's like, look at these Amish people who are, were, like, protesting for gay marriage or something. Oh, yeah. And they're like, yeah, it's always men and I'mish people don't speak English. Yeah. They have like...

Well, they did, there, have you seen those, like, shows of like the Amish, like, the Amish refer to, like, people outside of their community as the English, as the English, yeah. Wow. That is so fucked up. I could not believe, though. That was the craziest train route of my life. I was fully 100% convinced I was about to either die or save the lives of everybody on the train.

Yeah. And then imagine if you were the guy. that had to... Can you imagine? You were the guy that... That would be cool. Yeah, of course. I mean, that's all any man that sits around imagining is either...

I should have tackled him anyway. Yeah. Just to fucking show him. Fuck you. You're the guy that stops Grindface. Who's that? The owner of GrindFace. What's that?

I don't know what you're talking about. That's the Gore website. You're that kind of guy. Yeah, you are that kind of guy. I don't like that kind of shit. That's not right. No, Rex showed me it. He's watched it.

Yeah, because he was showing me. But I would, he would never show me that. He shows me that. Because I'm not, because he knows you're that type of guy. People know I do not like gore stuff. I don't like, but Rick showed me it. I don't like the kind of pornography where the women spread open their stuff. No.

Oh, yeah. I don't need to see the inside of that. I barely like the outside. What do you mean when they spread open? You know, in a photo, when a girl does this, what? I don't want to see that. Yeah. I don't know what.

Plus, don't touch your hand on it. Yeah. Don't muddy it up with all this stuff. I don't know what kind of doorknops you've been touching all day. to get to this studio that you're in? That's disgusting. And I just don't like that kind of thing. And I don't like this.

Bend over. Pull your asshole apart. Put a peanut butter jar in there. Yeah. This is nasty. You should have a sex with your eyes closed. That's what a perfect porn movie to me is just a black screen and just sounds of like, I'm making love.

No, not that is. That's too robotic. No, no. Here's what it is. I love you. I love you. I love you. And then a higher pitch voice.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. That's what it would be. I don't. And then that too, kissing. No, no, no kissing. No kissing. You can get sick. Oh, yeah.

Nomon. You can kiss if you fast for three days beforehand. Yeah. Yes, that's fine. There could be food particles. Exactly. It should be the same rules. You could have a turd.

Yeah. You should have to backed up in your mouth. I don't think that happens that much. But we can say that kind of thing now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that was a disgusting anecdote.

You know, I kind of like having no swear jar because I would not be able to tell that pornography opinion. The guy that you saw on the train who started watching Best Gore. He was watching it the whole time. Well, the guy who took out

started drinking the fireball. I feel like he is a victim of that. The Republican Party. The reverse sensory deprivation tank. He probably saw a bunch of men and nights and then maybe saw someone cutting someone else's face off with a machete. He was from the,

He was from the future coming back to the past to kill you but didn't recognize you with your haircut. What? When did he get a haircut? When we thought about that? When we thought about that, you had longer hair, right? I don't think so. I think that was like a week ago.

That wasn't that long ago. I had shorter hair, actually. Swear. See, you're still doing it. You're doing the one, you're doing the thing. So this is, yeah, this is the worst of both worlds. Yeah. You're doing the thing that everybody hated about the swear jar.

Well, I was just pointing out that I can swear again. Yeah, we know you can swear again. We already talked about that. That's good. Yeah. I like that. Asshole. Yeah, I mean, I guess there's no way to...

But I do truly think that if that had been... Like, if somebody set that up and that happened to me for an hour, I would be permanently insane. Because I could not believe how I felt after that. You only had three senses... Also. There was no smell. Exactly. That's what I'm saying.

If you had been tasting candy... I had... I had smelling Yankee candles. Like 10 to 15 minutes of... one like a cough drop in his mouth while that's that If you had a menthol

cough drop in your mouth where that was going on you would have died You would have died. You would have That's why I think we cannot move forward with this invention

because it is too dangerous We need to pare down anyway We need to get away From all of the We need to I have been feeling recently Like we need to shut off

Every light in New York City for one day a week Yeah Because it's too much light Isn't that used to happen? I don't know In the 70s Why?

Is it rolling blackouts? Oh well I'm saying that for everybody's health because lights are bad for you. They do that in Texas. I turn off all the ACs for everyone. Speaking of a sensory overload, haven't been to Times Square in like a year, maybe.

I think that's not close. I go every week. Maybe like six months. Wait, you don't go every day. What do you do with your free time? I mostly go around to abandoned warehouses and like graveyards and I take black and white photos. Oh, yeah.

That's actually what I do. And if you find like a broken mirror. Yeah. Damn. Oh shit. You take a selfie with the photo, where you turn, you're holding the camera like this. Yeah. I take, holding the DSS. My Facebook, my Facebook profile picture is it's black and white and it's me in an abandoned warehouse and there's a mirror like leaning up against the wall and you see I'm taking a selfie, but it's one of the, that's like a Deggerro type where it's like I have the curtain over my head. It's like, I have a giant camera. Another guy with a flash. Yeah. That is so cool. So there's like two homeless people. having sex.

Hey, Hey, photographers, we know why you hide your face with the DSLR because you have a weak chin.

You are wanted for sexual assault. Yes, yes, yes, you are because you took the photos. You have a warrant

out. Yes, so get the fuck out of my Facebook account. Yeah. Stop changing my profile picture

to artsy pictures of me where I look really cute. Stop hacking my Facebook and making my 2015 profile

pictures look really artsy. They do look cool. Stop using filters on them. Boca. Yeah, true. Also, Boquet, what the fuck is Boquet?

I don't like Boquet. That's not Boquet. No, no, that's not okay. That is not Boquet with me. I do not like Boquet. Make that photo flat. Yeah. No dynamic range.

No, and I don't need to, you know what a light should look like? A bulb. A light, you should be able to see the perfect outline of the bulb. I don't need to see a flare. And hey, hey, all you Instagram photographers, you're messing with the tilt shift. I'm going to take a stilt shit. on you. I'm going to stand up on some stilts and poop on you from 20 feet above. I'm going to tilt you over a building and shift you into the next world.

That's what's going to happen. You're going to be come. You're going to be come. You're going to be come with you. You will be nothing but come. You're going to be come. That is all that will be left of you after I get my hands on you. You will just be come to me. You'll be nothing but come. You'll be. You'll be come to the world. Yeah, not even a puddle. It'll be, you know, and it'll be chunky too. It'll be like when you go to, the beach and you have that sand that's kind of wet and kind of dry and you dribble it to make a castle. That will be what the... It's going to be chunky. It's going to be chunky

and bits of green like Siziki. Yes. Yeah. There's going to be a lot of chunks in that cum. And it's going to come in a little plastic ramekin. And that's all you'll be to me.

Yeah. And then I will eat you. Oh, but I forget where I was going with the Times Square thing. But I was in Times Square. Congratulations. We were talking about cum and stuff and my brain shut off.

You got so nervous from the phone calls that now you can't even breathe. I don't know why we didn't do the phone calls after because now we have to fill up another 20 minutes. We mean fill it up. You're just having a freak out attack. Lifted it up. Lifted it up. I don't know why I get so scared of prank. I don't know what lifted the time up even means.

I don't know why I get scared of prank calls. You think someone's going to say, I know who you are. You're Patrick Doran. And I'm coming to kill you. you. I think I got in trouble really young for prank calls.

Me too. Who didn't get in trouble for prank calls? We've talked about this. My first prank call I ever did. My brother was like, call this lady, call this phone number,

Texas, tell her that your house is on fire and your parents are dead and you're stuck in the house and then hang up. I was like, oh, that's hilarious. And then I just did that like four or five times.

Yeah. I just think the idea of just like making somebody have to answer the phone to say, I can't give you $9,000 million.

You do way more evil stuff. You're a skateboarder. You stole my joke. And you, that's not a joke. You go and you ruin public parks. You do. You ruin public parks. I do a kinetic art.

No, you do not. No, you do not. You do not. You're not a dancing. I'm adding to the ecosystem. I'm doing kinetic art. I wish you would add to the ecosystem by being fucking manure in the ground.

That's what I wish you would do. After today, I think I will. be. Yeah, I really hope so. I think we should call a suicide. I'm going to kill myself if I don't give you

$9 million. Oh, wait. I was gonna, I was gonna give you $9 million. And the truth is, the truth is I would do a hundred more calls to charities

and tell them I can't give them anymore. That's the funniest setup ever. That's like a, that's a fucking, that's a Chuck Palinuck protagonist thing that he has to do to get off.

A guy who jacks off and calls charities. Well, I was jacking off under the table, by the way. Speaking of Chuck Palin. Rewatch Fight Club this past week. Yeah. It was just okay. Really? I see, I honestly haven't watched it since I watched it 10,000 times in high school.

When I watched it as a kid, I had the same feeling that I get watching if I accidentally see a gore movie or a gore movie or something, where I got a pit in my stomach because that shit was so real. Yeah. But then I watched it this time, and I was like, self-improvement of masturbation. I watched it this time, and I was speaking of masturbation. masturbation, I was like, Brad Pitt, you are looking. Well, actually, you know what I thought when I was a kid, I saw Brad Pitt in that movie and I was like, Brad Pitt is jacked. He's like really skinny in that movie. He weighs like 120 pounds. Yeah, he's cool. I mean, he looks cool, but he doesn't, when I was a kid, I thought he was like buff. Yeah, yeah. He was just compared to, you know what it is? It's, it's because he's next to Edward Norton and not because of Edward Norton's body, but because of his voice. Yeah. True. Nerd voice. I found out the other day that Brad Pitt fucked Mike Tyson's wife. Why? And he walked in on them fucking... Wow. Why did he do that?

To jizz. Oh. Yeah. Get his rocks off. All right. That makes sense. To fall in love. Yeah.

Hopefully. Yeah. Hopefully they fell in... Hopefully they were wed after that. She was wed in the middle of it. Oh, my God. She has wed between the lads. Yeah.

Yeah. That's pretty sexy. Brad Pitt had sex with Mike Tyson's wife. They were getting divorced. Apparently the story was. They were getting... Oh, yeah, that's good. They were getting a divorce

Oh damn He'd too fly for that They were getting a divorce Mike Tyson and his wife But he would still go over to her house And fuck her sometimes Or get fucked by her Because he was like

They would go He said that they would do quickies But they were getting divorced But he went over one day And he opened the door And who was fucking his wife Well why'd he go over But Brad Pitt

I just told you to have sex with her Yeah but he didn't call He didn't do that back then You just showed up and fucked girls with no calls. You surprised them at their house. You showed up and your shoulder check the door down. Yep.

You ran in. I feel like Mike Tyson probably did do that. Mike Tyson did go to jail for rape one time. And now I think about it, it's probably not that good to joke about that one with him. But he walked in and Brad Pitt was fucking his wife. And he said Brad Pitt was like, don't punch me, man. Bro, don't punch me, bro. Man, please don't hit me.

And Mike Tyson just laughed and left. That's funny. But I think that he didn't finish the story because here's what I think happened. He walked in and he saw Brad Pitt who hadn't done any movies yet, really. It was like 1989 or 1990. But he saw that he was cute

and that one day he would be really successful. He'd be really funny and burn after reading. Yeah. So my guess is that Mike Tyson made him have sex with him. You know what I think happened? Is that Mike Tyson walks in. So he would have blackmail because now if Brad Pitt ever wanted to do something

that Mike Tyson didn't like He probably has a Polaroid photo Brad Pitt probably has like a documentary He's been trying to get made That's about kind of the evilness of Mike Tyson The evenness of getting interrupted while you have sex He's interviewing like He's interviewing Vanderholyfield

He's like yeah and isn't the worst part about Mike Tyson When he walks out on you fucking his wife You don't think Mike Tyson walked in Saw Brad Pitt fucking his wife and thought Damn I'm fucking her real good That's what Fight Club style. Oh, well, Fight Club was far from coming out.

Well, that doesn't make the joke good, does it? I think that... If you try to... Well, I mean... Try to put history into it. I don't think the joke made any sense to me anyway. No, it took me a minute. Yeah.

Yeah. Took you a minute, but once you got it, it was good, right? Just the idea that that's his alternate personality is what you're saying. Yeah. Okay. I think that maybe if I told it better. If I had made the Fight Club movie and I was adapting the book, in this day and age, when everything needs a tag, everything needs a universe, uh-huh. In it.

Well, I'd ignore the phones. I'd say, I would say in this, the world, there's no phones. Whatever. But I would at the end, so, you know, Brad, Edward Norton, Brad Pitt is his secret identity. I'm sorry for the spoilers if you haven't seen it. But at the end, at the very end, at the very end, I would have a third guy show up. and he says, and I'm your third identity and I have lightning powers.

That'd be good. And they're like all along we're focused on these two guys. We didn't even consider. There's a hundred thousand identities and it's part of the fight averse. I was telling you about that. I was telling you about that movie the other day.

No, wait, before split, there was a movie. Unbreakable? No, no. The one? It's about a serial killer at a motel. Oh yeah, you were telling me about this. Motel, multiple. Is there a thing with his mom?

Identity. Identity. Identity. 2003. I watched Identity and Secret Window in the same day. And it really tortured me psychologically. Which one's secret window? That's the Johnny Depp one where he puts the Oh, yeah. It's the same thing, I think, where he has a bad alter ego. But identity was

I'm realizing right now that the reason why my mom bought all these movies was because she started going to school to be a psychologist. And so she got a bunch of society. She bought all these movies. Your mom just started watching. watching the butterfly effect every single day. And it was like, oh, my God, I need to write a paper on this. That's probably what I would do too.

Yeah. But anyway, the movie is, it's the worst movie ever. It's a serial killers at a motel. And then at the end, all of the people are dead except for the little kid. And then it's like, zooms out. And the entire movie was just taking place with a straight jacket guy in the back of a car. He was like on his way to a mental hospital. And he's so crazy that he thought all of that in his mind.

He just dreamt a movie in his head. He just dreamt a movie? Yeah. That's so bad. Yeah, it's really, really bad. It's not even implied that that's, that he's the little kid and he's in the straight jacket. I don't remember what the implication was, really. I think it maybe opens up with him, with him at, like, the mental hospital, and it's like, and I think the whole movie is kind of like, oh, he's escaped.

And he's, like, he's probably the one killing all these people. But then at the end, it was actually just him having some thoughts. Yeah. You know, which is like the lowest stake you can have for a movie. It's like a guy's thinking something. Yeah, well, after like six cents and stuff, everybody wanted like a crazy. I didn't see six cents in a long time either. Six cents is fire.

It's really good. It's crazy that, yeah, Donnie Walberg. His penis isn't it? He's good. That all that stuff was happening in the early 2000s, all those, that type of movie. They were doing all that. And then it wasn't, Shutter Island wasn't until like 2010 or something. I didn't see Shutter Island.

Shuttle Island was like pretty good. but isn't that crazy that it's that they're pretty late of all yeah yeah that that one seems like a movie that just made took too long to make yeah

that totally is what I see that yeah like they started it in the 90s yeah and then that like you know they filmed that in mass yeah really you've been to that they filmed it in Shutter Island they filmed it no in a fucking

man's field or something long island isn't there the long island was where all the hottest people lived no the off of Boston there's the island where all the homeless people lived? No, it wasn't actually. They didn't actually the island itself, I don't know about the island but the mental hospital is not

actually on an island. And I've been there and I went there. And when I was there, there was flying machines in the air. Oh, you told us about that, yeah. What do you mean flying? Drones? I don't know. People were flying around in little machines. You are just a liar.

I don't know what they were called, but there was like a parachute and a little chair and wheels and they're flying around. I have known you for so many years, and you have gotten so much worse at describing things. Yeah. I don't know what this thing is called.

You never make any sense when you describe something. Okay, picture the car from Gary's mod. Yeah. Smaller. Yeah. I think, you know what it is? He's trying to make his descriptions of things shorter and more broad so that I can understand them.

It's like you overshot it, though. And now you're skipping half the words. I don't know what to do. to call these things other than flying machines. That's what they were. As soon as he said Gary's mod, I was like, okay, he wants me to. Well, I'm trying to visualize it in my head of what this thing looks like. It's like you sit in a little.

I have a pencil. No, no, no, no, no, no. Finger. And I think there's a parachute attached to it, too. But the thing is also this was long enough ago that I can't really remember exactly what it looked like. So this was a kite. No, because you sit it. Well, I guess I wouldn't call it a kite in it?

Yeah, it's people were sitting. Paragliding. No, no, no, no, no. It was like a machine. A plane. It has a motor, and they, like, fly it up and they fly around. A plane. Yeah, I think it's a plane camera.

It's not helping me. It's not a plane. I'm finding a single person plane. I've seen these. You know what it is? Is that what it's called a plane? I don't think it had wings, though. Jubio's playing league right now.

It doesn't need wings. I swear to God, Jubio is playing league right now. It doesn't need wings. Jubio. That is a plane. Screen share. What are you talking about? Screen share right now.

you're sure what your other computer that doesn't make any sense you have one computer that you're using right now I thought you're really going insane because you didn't want to call the the charity oh here I am going it's literally called a parachute flying machine let me see I googled flying machine parachute is that

this is called infinity power parachutes no what are you talking about it's called a powered parachute let me see it it says parachute I clicked on something by accident Go back. That's Wikipedia. Oh, okay. Powered parachute. But go back to the Google search.

I don't know how to go back. Fuck you. It literally is a flying machine. Powered parachute. Yeah, if I saw that, I would call that a flying machine. Shut up. Fuck you. Yeah, that's a flying machine.

That's a powered parachute. I knew that for the instant. See, if you had just said powered parachute, it would have come to mind instantly. I said it's a parachute with a motor and that doesn't say you knew about a powered parachute and you couldn't think of it from that. Yeah, I did. I just was having an off day. You have a learning disability.

No, I do not. No, I do not. You have a, you're right. You have a normal disability for everything, not just my legs. Can we buy this? Isn't it cool? But there are a bunch of people flying around up there in those things. So did you think because you were at Shutter Island, did you think, oh, fuck, I'm going

crazy. Maybe you know it was crazy. You were there because they were doing a pop-up screening, a drive-in movie screening of the Shudor. Oh, really? There, which is, yeah, I know. What a layup that one. They fucked it up. Pretty weird.

Well, they probably already did screenings there is the problem. And they're like, all right. Yeah, I think it was they were trying to milk everything they could get out of it. But near the, at the end of the movie, like right near the end, this like super thick fog came in and like covered up everything. We couldn't see the screen. We were driving home and we couldn't see the road. That's scary. Just like the shining.

No. It is just like that scene in the shining. Yeah. When the car gets fogged up. That's so scary. Yeah. But doesn't that seem haunted to happen at a mental. It really does.

Do you guys ever get scared that maybe you have a multiple personality that doesn't live anywhere near you and lives like on the other side of the world? And it's just like doing random shit. That scares me. I know. I have like millions of them.

Yeah. I'm an entire kind of thing. My alternate personality is China. Yeah. I'm the one who's been doing all this stuff. I've been, yeah. You just, you're only here for like one percent of your life and the rest of the time

you're just running around China pretending to be a billion people. It's scary. The idea that you can have multiple personalities is really scary. It's super rare, though. No, I just looked at, it happens to everybody. It happens to everybody. It's like cancer.

Eventually, everybody has multiple personalities. Yeah. What? What? That was going to be. I was going to do another personality. And then I was like, I don't think I want to do that voice anymore. I think you.

That's just like a terrible fucking sketch of a guy who's my god yeah but that does I have been afraid of that since I was a child did you ever watch did you ever watch very good English that movie split did you ever see it no the funny I mean, I like that actor. Is it, it's framed like, uh, like, it's like, it's, I get it. Yeah.

Not for me. Uh, it's framed like it's, um, uh, like it's aware, mental health awareness. Yeah. Like it where it's like there's scenes where he's, he has multiple personality story is like 27 personalities in the movie or something. A lot. And, uh, and he's like, and he's like, and they're talking. They're like, we need to show the world that this is like a real thing that people suffer from. And we exist.

And we, we're not like monsters. And we need it. And then the whole like plot just of the movie. is that his last personality is a cannibal monster that can crawl on walls. And he like bends open jail bars. He was like,

ugh. Isn't that they're like, it's like a double twist too? There's another twist in that movie where it's like, yeah, this all takes place in the same universe is unbreakable.

Yeah. Well, do you know what? There's a plot twist in between those two. And do you know what it is? It's that the whole movie took place in a zoo.

Really? Yeah, that's the other point. Why is he in a zoo? He's underground in a zoo. See, I think honestly... Jesus Christ. Why is it that? If somebody has that, shouldn't we just kill them?

Yeah, but you might have a hard time because their personality is the... That's true. That's the invisible bullet dodger. Yeah. The Invisible Bullet Dodger. Why did you give him $5? I was just holding $5. He took it.

Oh, all right. This was my $5. Yeah, that was his $5. I put this. That was the first thing that went in the jar. It was almost ASPCA is, but I guess not. Yeah. Yeah, look at all these.

Might as well rip this in half. I remember where every single one Why don't we just tear up for a fuck, yeah. A shit. Let's tear up all the money. No, we can't tear up this money. This was probably cum related. But I, um...

Oh, is my dollar still on the floor? I don't think we ever picked it up. No, I picked it up. I brought it home. I think that... You said that we were not going to bring it home. You, hold on. Well, you missed the jar.

You took swear jar money home with you. Well, did it ever go in the jar? He took swear... No, it was intended to go to the swear jar. Well, don't work. at home. I actually didn't take home. I just pocketed it because I needed a dollar for the swear jar and then I used it. So it's in here somewhere. All right. Um, yeah, but people who have really bad mental disorders, why do we not just kill them? Why do we have to put them in jail?

I truly think it's because some of them are so unhinged and unleashed that they will stop at nothing to prevent from being killed. And a person who has, a person who has strong enough BPD borderline personality disorder should be killed. Whoa. Will be able to manipulate that police officer into giving them their gun and then going on a rampage and killing millions. They just say, like, if you don't give me your gun, I'm going to kill myself. That would be a scary version of the happening.

Is somebody with very strong BPD walking around getting people to kill themselves? If you don't give me your gun right now, I will shoot myself in the head. I will do it. Do not give me your gun. I saw a video of a guy getting shot yesterday where he was just sitting there.

Are you on the train? Nah, yeah. Drinking fireball? Yeah, okay. Oh, my God, Caleb has multiple personalities. I had a very itchy wig on. Cameron's sitting there freaking out about this guy. It's you and look at a big orange effort.

I'm like, could that be? No. There's no way. There's no way. He doesn't have an itchy face. I'm realizing I would be so good at having multiple personalities because I could do my costume favorite stuff. Yeah, because costume favorites.

I love my costume favorites. James. I do have Mercer. That's what that. Jock, chef, emo, golfer. James McAvoy in that movie is bald specifically so that he can wear

that literally is yeah he's costumes yeah he's what he's a fashion he's a fashion designer and then he's a woman and then he's a little boy I don't think I have a woman in me I think you do

you're about to what does that mean you get a woman that fucked hurt me with a finger I don't know hey I don't know you know what we should do what?

Here's the hypocrisy over here. Hypocacy. He won't call a charity for homeless people and tell them that he wants to spit in their face. But he'll call Domino's and he'll order to pizza. I don't call Domino's. No, he won't. I use the app. You have that kind of phone anxiety where you can't call an order something?

Yeah. Wow. I didn't know that about you. I have a lot of anxiety that I've never addressed. What unlocks phone that was only little kids. What unlocks phone anxiety, at least for me, which I feel like I used to have a lot. I used to have bad phone anxiety.

I don't really anymore. Is that a stranger on the phone, you have literally absolute power over them. Yeah. You can destroy them. They never hang up. You can literally, you can kill them.

Yeah. Well, I mean, well, you can kill that you can hang up at any time. And you can also say, it doesn't matter what you say, because they're not there. So you can say,

I want to order a motherfucking pizza with poops sauce, bitch. And then you hang up. Yeah. Actually, let's do that right now. All right. Hold on. But you order a $9 million pizza?

You have to call Domino's and order a motherfucking poop sauce pizza. I don't want to order a poop sauce pizza. You know what? We literally have already done that. We've called Domino's on the show and said, I want to poop pizza. Yeah, we've called and asked for a poop pizza. We'd be repeating a thing. We called an ice cream parlor.

What do we do? I don't remember. That was so long ago. Yeah. But you won't call and say, I want to order a poop pizza. I don't want to call anybody today. All right, whatever. The episode's done now.

Yeah, it's over. But next time, we will make Patrick. call. We're just going to be a prank call show for now on. And we're going to make them do it. We're going to. Not that these were pranks, by the way. This was not a prank. That's 100% real.

This is not a lead-up to a big prank call. The only way you could consider that a prank is if somehow the fans donate us enough money that we get to donate $9 million. We get to call back these charities. So, psych that was all a prank. If we can get the Patreon to $9 million a month. We'll go one month. Yeah. That's fine.

But if not, you know. Half a month. I don't know. Yeah. We'll figure it out. Okay. Bye guys. Sure.

Holder meeting is this Friday. It's on Friday. Wait. It is on Friday. Okay. Bye. This guy and those in those fucking aviator

No, I will not look like a pet. I'll look like Jeffrey Dahmer, but he wasn't a pedophile. He was just an evil killer who was gay. And you think he's pedophile because he's gay. No, I think he's a pedophile because he's a murderer. pedophiles don't usually kill pedophiles you can call them murderers yeah they always because they just want

they want pleasure all the time they don't want to deal with death god I hate them they're wrong with you what do you mean what's wrong with me why do you say pleasure like that pleasure I was trying to think of the right word you said pleasure you were like

I'm a pedophile you're saying they are pleasure you were saying that like they are going on tropical vacation it's a euphemism I also heard like Pita Colada I heard the girls gone wild He was talking about pedophones. I heard a steel drum.

No, no, no. That I heard. No. It's a youth of me as I don't have to care about a fucking kid in the butt. Is that what you'd rather I say? Oh. See? What the hell?

No, that's what he thinks of it. There we go. Yes. That's what. That's the reaction. You guys yelled. I got a rise out of you. And that's honestly all I care about in comedy is getting a rise out of people.

And now I don't care. To make myself laugh. I'm pushing the envelope. It's a cool as fuck. Actually, Wait. No, that was not a joke. You can't say fucking a kid in the butt like that.

Well, if you do that after, I guess it's kind of, it kind of is a joke. I guess anything you say there. This is how I feel. If I, when I, I, I don't like the pedophiles for kids in the butt. That's how I feel when I think about it. That's how you feel, that's how, wait, that is the audience reaction to you saying that you don't like it. So this is you talking in the audience. Wait, yeah.

No, that's what I heard of the reaction. Say it again and then do the right one. A pedophile fucking a kid in the butt. This is crass. This is not the kind of thing I would be doing. It's not crazy. Can we not say it again, though? I don't like that thing.

There we go. There we go. Okay, so that makes more sense. But in my head, when I think of that thing. When I think about it. Why are you thinking? Okay. The episode is over.