Podcast About List - Ep. 241 - EDIF

Episode Date: May 10, 2023

We share top of the line industry secrets on our brand new business ventures, and also we dove into some more Mystic Investigations. Watch the full video for this episode youtube.com/@PodcastAboutList Buy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

Thank you, Patrick, for going down on your chair so that it makes it look. I moved down so that Caleb does not look small. I look really, really, really small in these chairs. Yeah. But I look tall. It's not true. I did look tall. I'm actually pretty large.

This cable thing is joining us this week is, joining us this week is Cameron Fetter. I'm treating like a guest because you've been gone so fucking long. I honestly don't even know who you are anymore. I have a hard time relating to you. I forgot what you face is. So, yeah, I didn't watch whatever episode you guys. I don't know who you got. It was with Eric Grayhill.

You knew that, actually. Speaking of right now, you're also doing it. You have a problem with staying in the frame. You are addicted to getting out of that damn frame. What is your question? Did you guys already cover the coronation? Yeah. No.

No. You know why? Because I have something to say that I wanted to say. All right. Real quick. Wait, hold on real quick. Talk your shit. Okay. So basically, here's something that I wanted to say that I was hoping you guys didn't already say. So I'm glad I got the chance to say it. So, yeah, the coronation, right? So the UK, these guys are all ruled over by some crazy, weird, old white guy who is completely evil in the government.

yeah we hate the UK good good thing America's not like that right wait that's what I wanted to say that's pretty good yeah I would have I would have said um yeah it's probably not the audience doesn't want to join in I would have said differently I would have said so they're having a coronation over there in the UK meanwhile in the United States we're having a corn nation yeah because that's a Huge, yeah, it's one of the biggest All the food we eat is just corn. Corn syrup. And I also probably would have said

Queen, didn't the lead singer that man get fucking AIDS and die decades ago? Why do we give a shit about her dying now? Just want to piggyback off of the corn nation thing. Yeah. I'd say, they're having a corn nation

in the UK and the states we're having a corn nation. Corn kid fever is sweep in the country. Everyone loves this crazy cone A cone kid. Everyone loves the cone kid. What the fuck is? They're having a con nation over in the United Kingdom? Yeah.

Yeah. And over here we have an ice cream cone nation. Yep. Fat people. There's giant fats everywhere. And then you can also do nation. And a coronary nation.

Coronaryation. Coronary deviation. Because everyone's eating the bacon explosion. Uh-huh. That's good. Everyone's eating the bacon. What's the bacon explosion? It's a video on YouTube.

You can look it up. I was talking to you about it earlier. I didn't listen to you. You know why? Because you've been in a lying mood all morning. I've not been in a lying mood. Guys, I shit you not. Patrick has been lying to me about every little fucking tiki-tack thing here and there for no reason.

I told Caleb that I was going to go feed my cat something. No, no, no, no, no, no. You did two big lies. One was you said, I have to go. And I said, where are you going? And you thought for a second. You said, the pet store. Yeah, I was skeptical, but then you left and then you came back

because the pet stores too far away. It's 30 seconds later and I said, where'd you go? And you said, uh, it was too far away. It's too far away. So what are you taught? First of all, it was clear. Okay, okay. The one that I bore witness to, I want to get all the evidence out before you can try

and, and, and fight back here. The other thing that when I, the one I was here for was you said, yeah, I have to go home to feed my cat or something. to feed my cat or something you just had to get out I had to feed I had to go home I know what it was actually

I put a pill I wasn't even it was or whatever I had to take a pill and I had to shove it down Mo's throat I know what no I know the truth he got neutered yesterday I know the truth you were in love with the Fios lady

she was in love with you not want to be in the same room as her because you thought that you were going to act up. Sparks were going to fly. Sparks were flying. Sparks were flying. Sparks were flying crazy. Hey, Patrick. She said Patrick. Hey, Patrick. She might listen to this.

Yeah, he told her all of it. He told, apparently told her, he said, yeah, I told her how much money we make. I didn't tell her how much money we made. I told her, I told her this poor lady. She was asking about, she's asking. What is the fuck is wrong with you? She was asking, she was like, how much

did she thought that we bought this place? and she was like, how much did you spend on this? And I told her, I was like, oh, I don't know. I was like, whatever, told her the price. And then she was like, oh. And I was like, yeah, we get money through Patreon. And then you pulled up the Patreon and you said, and then I pulled it up on my phone and I said, look at that.

And I forget that $20,000 to make a movie. Yeah. Yeah. You should have taken her phone and signed her the fuck up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What about a good idea?

I kept forgetting to ask her and I think that I told you guys to ask, but you guys might not have, but there is a deal. Okay, Patrick's Deals Corner, okay, if you are a listener... If this is the only time you ever do this, I want you to know I'm going to be fucking pissed off. If this is, if you do, if you do like a... The Deals Corner, yeah, a one-time, like that is the most lazy podcast bit you can do. A Deals Corner? This is from now on once a month, you have to do this.

I told everyone about a deal last two episodes ago or this episode. Oh, really? Did you tell them in your corner? Well, now I have the, can we get a graphic going? Can we get a new graphic for Patrick's Deals Corner? If you are a small business owner in the state of New York, this month until June 30th, I think, or maybe the end of this month, you can get a $300 visa prepaid gift card when you sign up for Verizon business. You might be the worst speaker of all time. Yeah.

That just took like a full minute to say you can get a $300 prepaid gift card if you get Fios. If you get Fios for business. For business. So you have to start a business if you don't have one if you want to take advantage of this deal. I think most deals should be for businesses. Start an LLC. Get a business, get like an office, rent in office, then sign up for Verizon. Go into tens of thousands of debt.

You need to be buying a quick. You need to go ahead, even if nobody's interested in what you're making, make merchandise, make hats. Yes. Do all over print shirts that have your face on. All over shirts that say, that say, fuck. No, they don't say, no, that's so, no, for the business that you're making. Yeah, and the business is called make a bit, make a, make a business called fuck shit, poopie LLC. You're not allowed to call it that.

You can't call it that. Why? You can't. I don't think you can do profanity. Yeah, you definitely can. I think you can do profanity. Maybe in New York City. Not in a real state, though.

Do you censor it correctly? You censor it correctly. You could do that. Then that could be anything. F. Star C.K. I don't know. Can you put a star in? You do not think that you can legally put a star on anything. See, he looked. Oh my God. Wow.

Oh, my God. Wow. Hold on a graphic. I have to make. Yeah. Now I am so prepared. What is this a week? I thought it's a 2025. Every week I'm going to have a new deal. All. And it says. shit it's great yeah

Patrick's Deals Corner yeah all right that's that settles it now I have to do deals so you have to keep doing that for pretty much ever now I'm gonna find deals well you just need a you need homework

yeah you really do need some I do have homework what's the homework that you have well you have to make that I just finished your homework I had to I setting up the files was a herculean effort

for me I had to keep calling you saw me every single day I was in here I know it took actually what I saw you every single day was you're going Oh, I have to do that.

Well, no, you didn't see me on the phone. Fuck. Yes, I did. And you didn't see me on the phone saying, saying, uh, I did 100% say. You know, I kept saying, you know what I kept saying to them is like, this has been a total headache. You do that you did the exact thing that I do on the phone where you, where you walk or you just come pace around and you're just like, okay, great. Yeah, great. Oh, great.

You try to sound really upbeat and I try to get even higher energy than yours on the other side of the phone. And that's awesome. Okay. Thank you. you so much. Thank you so. You have an amazing day. Yeah, I don't say that. I say you have the amazing day. I go like this. I asked, I asked them a question and they answer the question and then I wait for a full five seconds. Then I go, okay. That's how I do. And that works. How was your vacation? Oh, yeah, Cameron went on vacation. Um, wasn't really a vacation,

but it was nice. Just basically was in Plastown, New Hampshire, went to the Plastown shoe barn. Hampshire. Went to the fucking plasterow savers. I know this guy knows about the Plastow savers. You can find a lot of... Last time I was there, I found a Tobuscus T-shirt. I want to blast out of the savers. I found a shirt. I didn't buy it because I'm, uh, I didn't want it, but I sent a picture of you guys. It was gamers for the troops. Oh, yeah. It's a good one to find. Yeah. Um, and yeah, it was, it was pretty interesting to see everything. This sounds like one of the worst fucking vacation. I wasn't even going to talk about it. I don't

all you ask you. That's the most boring vacation. Just make something up. Okay, we went to the casino in New Hampshire. Dude, every time I'm in Boston now, I see the Encore and I get, I want to go so bad. Yeah. I literally think if I still lived in like Austin, I would literally be going to encore once a week. They're doing the most amazing kind of, uh, can you imagine being able to take public transport to a casino from where you live?

You take like a, you have to take like a shot. Oh, no, you do that here. No, because I was living in Revere at the time, but they had like a shuttle from the Wonderland stop that you could take. all the way, which also, Wonderland. Oncores a Wonderland. Wonderland is not in Revere. Come on now.

You're, maybe you should say Revere is no Wonderland. Revere is no Wonderland. When you say Wonderland, I don't have any. It's not in Revere. You're thinking of maybe never,

Never, Neverland. Yeah. No, I'm thinking of Wonderland. What Wonderland? Oh, Alice Inn, that one. Yeah. What other? It's not.

I thought, I thought, Wonderland was maybe, I think of Wonderland is a pretty generic thing Like, it's always somebody's Wonderland. So you could have Caleb's Wonderland. Yeah. You could have Santa's Wonderland. Like, you know what I mean?

I'm on his side now because he said Santa's Wonderland. Santa's Wonderland? That is a thing. Yeah. Right? That's what they call the thing at the mall. That's what they call. So I think of a Wonderland is kind of a generic.

It's like Utopia. Yeah. Elron Hubbard's Winter Wonderland in LA. Winter Wonderland is what I'm thinking of. Yeah. So Winter Wonderland is true. That's a checkmate. Santa's Wonderland is not a checkmate,

but winter wonderland. Winter, Wonderland. Winterland. Wenderland. Wonder winter. You guys think it's never going to snow again? Yeah. We didn't really get a lot of snow.

We got no snow this summer. I think it's never going to snow again. It was insane how little snow there was, and to a point where it scared me. But I guess it's just in New York. Why did that scare you? Because that means there's going to be no more snow forever. It confused me.

Really? It snowed in New Hampshire a lot. I would go home and there'd be a lot of snow. But here, in New York, good old NYC, not a lick of snow. Not a droplet. There was snow one day, though.

But what did you guys do when I was gone? You were like crying or what did I do? What did I do? I came up with my new rap name. Oh, yeah. White phosphorus. That's a good one. It's a really good rap. It does kind of suck that when you're me, just every rap name, you've got to have white in the name of it. Yeah. Why can't I be just... You don't have to be white. Okay, here's my new rap name then. Amygdala.

Let's see, that's not a white amygdala. No, just normal amygdala. There's amygdala. Or some part of the brain, because of cortex. Cortex is really good. White cortex. What about pawns? White cortex.

Lele pawns. What about occipital lobe? Medulla. You're in a nerd world. I know. I was kind of telling a joke of maybe the juxtaposition of a kind of a nerdy brain part with a rap and hip-hop. A rapper is not...

Nerdy brain part. That's a... Or brain part. Brain part. This one's a little nerdy, but it could maybe be cool. Brian Trap. Damn. That's sick.

Brain part. Corpus callosum. Damn. His name is... His name is porcus. His name is porcus. So locus. Yeah.

Yeah. That would be his anagram rap. That's what I would have to... It would have to... God, it would be so fucking funny to be, to be a guy named Porchis and be like, I'm going to be a rapper. What's my rap name? Well, it can't be anything about Porky. I have to hide the Porky to reverse it.

Yeah, you can't be Porky. Yeah. But it is such a good idea. Porky the rapper. Your name, you're, I mean, that's the logic behind Belak, but you should always have your rap name be an anagram of your real name. 100%. Yeah. Tap.

That's every high school rapper. Yeah. Tap NORAD. Mm-hmm. That'd be kind of cool. Norad is cool. Norad is cool. Norad's the Santa tracker, right?

Well, they do a little more than just Santa tracking. I don't think so. My eight-year-old friends. I don't think so, man. I don't think they do anything else. Welcome to the adult world. They don't do much else. Not in my world.

They don't do that much. That's like when you're a kid and you look at a map, you're like, oh my God. God, the North Pole. They have it on the map. It's real. But Norred is good. Yeah, what else they do?

I don't even know. National. I just know they do other stuff. Santa. I don't know. It might just be a Santa thing. I mean, this is definitely what they're most known for. I think it's some kind of weather thing.

Yeah. Or no, they track all the satellites around the Earth. Oh, yeah. That's what they do. National orbiting. something rotation radar yeah automatic device yeah it's just a device

what else did I do while you were gone see I feel like we got to catch up you I know I honestly feel like I've been gone for a hundred years you feel like a stranger I feel like I've been gone for so long I went to a restaurant on Friday that's such a worst story and my friend was there you are the worst

there is nobody worse at this job than you what are you talking about I went to a restaurant and my friend was there. Maybe this is too... I'm just filling him in on my weekend. Maybe this is too kind of emotional. But honestly, this job, I feel like any other job, you go on vacation, you think,

God, I don't want to go back to my job. God, it's Monday. But you were missing us so badly. Me, on Monday, I don't even have to work on Monday. I'm still on vacation. I'm like, please, can I do some work on Monday? Yes, please. Can we have a meeting?

I've always been like that. I've always been... You know what? I'm exactly like Carl Casper from Chef. I'm always doing my work. You're exactly like Casper, the friendly ghost. Yeah, because you're white and your body's fucked up and weird. Yeah.

And it ends in a weird way. But my work relationship is really affecting my relationship with my son. You are nothing like Chef, man. I'm pretty much exactly like Carl Casper from Chef. You, okay, first of all, I have the same tattoos as him. They're all forks and knives. No, you don't have any force. See, there's a knife.

Okay. You, you've, you come. you say snow's fucking weird and then you steal my chef observations Oh Jubio! No way, that's green screen I was talking about chef

two years ago and now you're saying Oh, I'm the chef one. No, we have always talked about chef on this show I've still never seen The chef though. No, you're not the chef. We've never talked about you being the chef. Caleb was the shit. Caleb was a whole episode

of Caleb being the chef. Oh, there was a whole episode about him being the chef. I'm not saying that I'm the chef. I'm saying that I'm exactly like him. I'm saying I'm like Carl Casper, not a chef. He's been trying to be a social media chef lately. Yep. He has been.

I have been. I've seen you've been working on your plating. Yep. I've sent you my meals. Yeah, I see them. I think I could never make that. Yeah. Really?

Do you want to come over my house for dinner sometime? No, do not let him over. He's going to make you some of the biggest bullshit. But out of this. No. out of this. Here's what you're going to do. You're going to go over. You're going to be like, oh, this is actually surprisingly good. You're going to go, and then he's going to be like, my air fryer goes up to 450. Do you want to watch, do you want to watch Rick and Morty

clips? And you'll go and you'll sit down YouTube. It'll all be just all J. Kinjee Lopez videos that he watched. And he copies all the recipes. That is not a chef. I'm not trying to be a chef. You are doing Legos. Yeah. Following recipes is not what chefs do. Chefs create their own recipes. I created my own recipe. Name one recipe that you. ever created. Well, obviously, Patrick's Delight is more of a cocktail. That is a cocktail.

Not more of a cocktail, that is a cocktail. I made a custom recipe this morning. What? So it was about one cup of water, about one half cup of oats. Yeah. And a, um, some, and a drizzle of maple syrup. Okay. Sugar bits.

That's oatmeal. That's my recipe. I came up with it. That is, you did not come up with oatmeal. I added, I came up with the maple syrup. the maple syrup part. What color? You did not invent oatmeal

because you put something sweet in it. It's all, it's, what temperature water did you use? I started it with cold water and then I was able to warm the water up. Okay. Along with the ocean.

How did you manage to do that? I did about one minute plus one minute. What would you, so two minutes in the microwave. What would you say was the texture of your creation? At first. At the end, not at first.

I'm not, I don't give a fuck about what it was at first. You motherfuckers, don't do this to me. What was it? When you put it in your... No. And then I added the water. They got a little wet. When you put it in your mouth, was it mushy?

Would you say it was mealy? Um, yeah, but it was at first, it was... Stop talking about what it was at first. When it came out of the microwave, it was a little kind of runny, a little too wet. But adding the maple syrup, actually, was able to thicken it up a little bit. You made oatmeal. That's not a... You didn't invent.

that. I didn't look at a recipe. I just went in that I just kind of was like freestyle. I put a half a recipe. I put a half a cup of oats in a bowl. I'm like, what the hell am I going to add this to make this edible? So you went through all your ingredients. Oh, water. This would go well with the oats.

And to finish. There's just whatever was left in the kitchen. Where did the oats come from? Where did the oats come from? A bag a bag or a... A big circle. Oh, okay. Is it a what you call a can if it's like a cylinder? It's not really a can. It really. It really. It's for posters, the Quaker Oates thing, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which says what on it? Oatmeal in one minute.

Oates. It says quick and easy oatmeal. Well, it wasn't Quaker. I kind of try to get my stuff from, I do more sustainably sour stuff like Bowling Basket. What's Bowling Basket? That's got to be some generic brand, huh? Yeah. I don't think they make really good oats. They make good oats at Bowling Basket.

I definitely prefer it over Quaker because Quaker just, I don't know. It's just, you know, it's just, no, it's just like this. Oh, it's money. De Niro. They're using that Quaker's image too much. Yeah. Yeah, it's also, it's kind of, it's egotistic. Yeah.

They're exploiting him for profit. You're right. No, wait. I think when making food, leave your ego at the door. You're right. What kind of, what kind of ego in the freezer, though. That's true. That's right.

I don't like that shit. I have a waffle maker. Do you guys want to come over for waffles? Whoa. No. Wait, I could make in the air fryer. I could make chicken and then you could make the waffles on your waffle. Why fuck?

You can say no. He's out of this. He's added. We're going to start a restaurant. Waffles. Waffles and chicken by Cameron and Patrick. O'Meal Waffles. And he doesn't get to go.

Why? Because he's been rude. You're negative. Yeah. Tell that to my disguise that I'd wear any of your restaurant. What would your disguise be? First of all, we'd have biometric scanning at the door so you would not be able to wear a disguise.

I'll get my eyes fucking replaced. I will get, I would chop my hands off. He's about to cry. That's because, you know, He wants to go to our restaurant so bad. We're having DNA scanning that scans. It tells the server in advance what the people's allergies are. You would probably...

You would probably serve DNA at your shit future restaurant. DNA is actually a really good protein if it's prepared right. It's not good. It's not good to eat. DNA burrito bowl. That doesn't make any sense. Yeah, dinner and appetizers. That's what we have.

I will go to your restaurant. I will dress. You guys will think I'm a food critic. And actually, I will become one. I will write the most scathing. reviews. I will, and I'll include all sorts of stuff. I'll say the service is bad. I do holistic reviews. Yeah. And what magazine are you going to write for? Highlights for kids? Try timeout New York City. You're going to be in timeout. Yeah. No, I won't. We're going to say we have a special

table prepared for you and it's going to be facing the corner of the room. Nope. I will be writing in Vulture about how much your restaurant sucks. These two ugly comedians did the most bullshit restaurant of all time. And by the way, the bathroom is stinks. The bathroom is not stinks. The problem with you trying to do that is nowadays controversy sales. And honestly, you're going to drive ourselves through the fucking room. You guys will have

one of those. We're going to have a pink sauce too. No, no. You're not doing pink sauce. You're not doing pink sauce. No. Okay. You guys are going to have such a, I will curse you guys. You guys will have one of those bathrooms that's the water. I'm going to reverse the curse.

Reverse the curse. Yeah. So the water in my bathroom will smell bad? Yes. God damn it. How did you do that? I don't know. That sucks. I don't know how I did it.

I just did it. Well, if you two are so good at thinking of a restaurant to come up with, tell me two things. Okay. Number one, the theme. Theme is casual. Yeah. Casual Friday theme. Yeah.

Oh. And the chefs don't wear outfits. There's already a casual Friday themed restaurant. You can't tell who the chef is. There's already TGI. That's, thank God it's Friday. They still wear it. clothes and stuff. You can show up. This is

E.D.I. No, every day is Friday. This good day is Friday. Every day is Friday. And the chefs and waiters, they sit at the tables too. So you really can't tell who anyone is. Because there's a Why? Why are they sitting? That's the theme. That's the theme. Where do they sit now? And this is a thing that we thought of, thing that

we thought of that has never been done in a restaurant before. They cook the food at the table for you. Table. But only at some tables. You're Benihana is what you're thinking. No. No. You're doing. Benny. He works there. Who's he?

Benny? Oh, Benny works at the... Yeah. Okay, so that was my first question is the theme. So I guess the theme is that it's always casual Friday and the waiters are blending it. The waiters are indistinguishable. And also they cook the food at the table.

Let me say, that's also why we have to have the biometric thing because I know we're going to run into problems where people come in and pretend to be waiters. Yeah. And I'm taking people's orders and see her and random places. The dead giveaway is that I have no hands. I'm going to hold the fucking place. Well, the first week, first week of your, like, the first week that you were an employee at EDIF's.

EDI. Yeah. Every day. Oh, I thought it was EI. RFID chip right there. Uh-huh. And if you. But we call it an EDIF chip.

It's proprietary. That's why it's so big. It needs to hold a lot of data. It holds your entire. It's, it holds every, every. So, it's a whole stick of RAM. So what's to stop me? No, we might.

we're also mining cryptos and all of our employees' arms. What's to stop me? That's how you tell the employees that they walk around, you just hear like, mm-hmm. Loud-ass GPU.

See, the problem, they're coming to your table with your water, right? That water is shaken, not stirred. They're fucking, that's shaking water. Yeah.

Shaken water, that's another one of our beverages. It's water that's shaken up. It's shaken because we're mining so much crypto out of the, but also it aerates the water. Why did you say stirred? Like,

they make stirred water where and all the restaurants most other restaurants you want still water specifically still stirred water so what's to stop me

from what time do you guys close never 1159 p.m. 11.59 p.m. okay all right cool so let's just stop me from 1159 cruising in front of there

there's no cruising old Benny Hana there's no cruising at the restaurant walking up front and Benny's locking up right and I guess I'm not cruising So I say, hey, buddy, you need to ride home? That sounds a lot like cruising.

He would say, he would say, no, I would don't want to ride home because we're opening it in two minutes. Yeah. Well, but he's not working two days in a row, because that's, you don't know that he's scheduled. Okay, so obviously I would go when I would know his schedule at this point. So what's to stop me from giving him a piggyback, but then we start, we're walking, and then we, I piggyback him past his house. He goes, wait, that was my house. And I just say nothing and keep walking. And then he's getting a little scared, right?

but then we get to my house and I butcher him to death and I take his arms and then I just hire a new employee No, but I would go the next day and the RFID chip would be scanned and I'm walking around with these and by the way he's a different

he's got he's black guy so I'm walking around with these black arms and I'm walking around So what would stop you from doing that? Probably the police maybe or someone who heard him screaming for help yeah that's kind of outside of I was thinking is an RFID chip in him

and we have a tracker in the office. The other thing about the RFID chips is if your blood pressure drops even by the slightest amount, it detonates. So if you cut his arms off, it blot. This is a high stress job. Wait, the police would not you for doing that. Your blood pressure should be up.

Yeah, very high. You just pumping them full of vans. Yeah. Okay. Well, he works at a restaurant. He's already pumped full of my vans. So what I'm realizing right now is that I will,

I am plankton You slipped so perfectly into the roll And I realize that I realize right now that I would be a perfect plankton And that like all I can think about right now Is like ways to get into your restaurant Okay. So well I get I mean if I'm

Wait, if you're plankton, yeah. Wait, this is Perf. Spongebob and Squidward. This is so perfect. Uh-huh. Not Patrick? No, he's not. He's Spongebob. Okay.

Well, he's kind of both. Yeah. Okay. And you're kind of Squidward and Sandy. Yeah, you give off Squidward vibes. What's Sandbied about me? Female. Female controlling the science part of the show.

I don't think that makes sense on either of it. I'm so glad that we... I guess, Sandy, because I'm a land creature. Oh, shit. Yeah. I live on land and I breathe there. And you have roots in Texas. This table is wobbly.

So just stop pulling on it. I don't know why you keep pulling on it. The fucking roller skate wheels on this chair keep pushing me back. You are going to go back one half of an inch. No, because last time I did that, the thing fell. No, no, no, no. You're really between a rock and a hard place, buddy. I feel bad for you.

Mm-hmm. Not. Well, then... I guess if I'm plankton, then I have to start my own restaurant across the street, or the road. Yeah, our restaurant's going to be underwater, too.

Yeah. You can't add that now that I fucking... That's my idea and I get a royalty now. Okay. You can, yeah, you can be royalty. The king of... The king of nothing. Yeah.

The king of the kingdom of shit. That's what I can be. Yeah. That's bull. I don't want to be that. Oh, there's all types of shit. What's happening? You're happening.

I will be... I don't know what's going on. I am going to be... Man, I'm really glad we started talking about the restaurant. We're talking about snow. I think we've got to... Now we have a real topic, which is a restaurant... Which, I mean, it's...

We're going to talk about this all day if we don't stop right now. We have to get into the real reason that we're here today. Can we talk for five minutes about my restaurant, please? Because you guys were able to speak... All time it out. I'll time it out. Okay. Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Let's start. Well, we'll... Okay, ready? Yes. I'm going to start. Oh, he's going to pull up a timer. Okay. We'll get a timer. That's even better. Make sure you put it on when the clock starts.

This is five minutes and 18, 15 seconds. All right. It started. Go. Okay. All right. So my restaurant will be. What's the last 15 seconds of this video? Oh, my God.

Sorry. My restaurant will be, if I need something from you guys, I'll ask. My restaurant will be across the street from yours. And what's yours called? Every Day is Friday? Yeah, EDIFs. Mine is called. called no day. Mine's called

six-day week. Okay? We're closed on Friday. We're closed on Friday, Chick-fil-A style. We also serve pretty much all of Chick-fil-A's food, but all of McDonald's food as well, all of Burger King's food. Basically, the top 10 biggest fast food restaurants, we go every single week. We buy a couple of things

of every single thing on the menu. We flash freeze it, and then we reheat it when people get it. Is that why you take Friday off? Yes. Okay. Oh, and you can't get our food. That's why you're playing this. Okay.

So, yeah. But then also, yeah, so that's where I'm going after you guys. I have the top nine, but you guys are number 10. And so I really, really need to go get. But what's your signature dish at, at, at EDI? We already explained it. Oatmeal. Yeah.

It's oatmeal. It's oatmeal and waffles. Shaken water. Shaked water. So. Oatmeal waffles with chicken. And we call them, and we call them water shakes. Really?

So it's just oatmeal and chicken water? Did you say chicken water? Those are the specialties. Because it looks like I just got the secret ingredient and it was that easy. You gave it to me. So you two are fucking terrible at your job. You didn't tell you the spices.

You don't know the secret formulae. And by the way, Plankton knows it's called a crappy patty. And by the way, the secret recipe is Malto Dextrose. Okay, so I just got that now. So. Damn it. But you don't know.

paper we wrap it in. Yeah, it's foil. You wrap oatmeal and foil. Okay, so also I am hiring, I'm spending half of my, half of the entire budget of the restaurant on a an anti-plankton guy who basically

handles, because you guys needed one the entire time. Because every restaurant has a plankton. Yeah. Every single restaurant has somebody who is plotting on the downfall of the restaurant trying to figure out all the secrets. Yeah. So I don't know who mine is yet, but I'm going to make fucking damn sure that he dies. So I'm

hiring an anti-plankton security. I'm getting the Pinkertons. I'm hiring the Pinkertons to come be anti-plankton security for me. And yeah, you guys are basically going to go out of business. I'm undercutting you in every single way. I'm going to make oatmeal with maple syrup. You know, the main thing you forgot is

people can get food anywhere, but an atmosphere. Yep. And a place where you can't tell who's the waiter and the chef. Yep. You can only get that one fucking restaurant. Well, my atmosphere is even better. And all the water's flavored too. Your restaurant has no atmosphere literally

because we just sucked all the air out of it with a vacuum. And also, it's underwater. I pump extra. No, I pump extra oxygen into mine like a, like a casino. So I guess all your guests are passing out from over oxygenation. No, because it's a perfect amount like

a Vegas casino. Oh, and also every single So people sit in there, they'll eat for two days straight. Every single table at EDIFs does have its own ozone machine. Mm-hmm. We have an ozone, which is a place where you can go get masturbated.

Okay, you're being shut down by the government. The health department is going to shut that down. It's a separate, it's a separate thing from... You can't get tug jobs and shaking water. Why? That's how they shake the water. No. No, it's not. Don't say that.

That's horrible. We shake it with a proprietary shaking machine. And we also have... I have bitches who twerk with the water on their butt. You don't even have what... I thought Cameron said earlier, but now I'm going to implement it into the restaurant, which is chicken water. What is that? What's chicken water?

So it's shaken water with chicken essence. Yeah. What is a chicken's essence? A chicken essence? It's like another secret formula that I can't tell you. We can't really tell you about it. And guess what? It's multi-text products.

No. No. Chicken water is good, though. Yeah. Chicken water is fucking good. I don't want to talk about chicken water. We can do that. We got to talk about what...

You're seeding your time? Yes. What we are here. Wait, I want to see what the last 15 seconds is. It's probably... Is it just like a subscribe button? I bet it is. For Adam Eshborn.

Oh my God. It turns different colors. It's a fun party. That's unbelievable. Okay. So today, if you guys have been with us for years and years, you will know that one of our favorite websites is mystic investigations.com. Mystic Investigations, for those of you don't know,

is Ryan Byte. man. His name is Xavier Remington. And he is basically the foremost investigator of all things paranormal. Yeah. I think he is Earth's link to this supernatural world. Kind of. There's a couple of things going on with him. The most important thing is

that he documents all of it. Oh, yes. Very intelligent guy. He's basically the smartest person in the world. He will be one day. His name will be spoken along. And he works with an organization. called Mystic Investigations. Well, he's the head of it, which Mystic Investigations is based in a school, kind of a Hogwarts situation,

if I remember correctly. He has a lot of information. We've been over it a couple of times, but today we decided to make a return because it's been a while. He's got plenty of new information to share with the public. I mean, the last time we investigated Mystic Investigations,

one, we didn't even scratch the service because we just happened upon. Actually, it came into our... It was fate. Yeah, we accidentally discovered it. Because I googled... I think I googled how old is Mrs. Claus. Yes, that's exactly what it was.

Yeah. And because stuff like that, those kind of esoteric questions, he always has an answer for. Exactly. And I would say that's exactly what it. He's kind of the king of the esoteric. Uh-huh, 100%. So I focused on...

We each did our own little mini investigation into MI, what we call it. Yep. And today, I, well, I found a couple of things. One was, will you click on this, Julio, so that I can, I can use the thing. Is it off? It's completely off.

Okay, but now it's on. Photos prove Dubai is strange. I didn't click on this, or I did click on this, but I didn't end up doing an investigation into this, but I will say this caught my eye in a massive way. This photo to me does prove Dubai is strange. A woman in a bikini. And what is that behind her that is a bunch of bales of hay? No, it looks like some kind of roadblock maybe.

Oh, okay. So I did not do, I just wanted to mention this up top, but I did not actually do my investigation of that. I did my investigation into Xavier's article on The Supernatural Stench. Are you guys familiar with the Supernatural Stench? No. No, no, I've never heard of the supernatural stench. So I'll tell you about them. The Supernatural Stench, the Supernatural being known as the Stench.

stench is the premier paranormal purveyor of sinister smells. Amazingly, he was born Stefan Stank in the year 1939 in Nantes, France. Although the surname itself doesn't mean wretched stink, but rather a sounding pool or a standing pool of water, most likely stagnant in nature. Stefan was born with the psychokinetic power of fragrance manipulation with a strong emphasis on biological stench generation.

At a young age, he became fascinated by making people suffer and even become physically sick via sickening sense. This was seriously seen when young Stefan took a dump so wretched that they had to evacuate his elementary school in the process. Most of the students suffered from varying degrees of sickness while the janitor died. The principal recalled seeing Stefan laughing hysterically under an oak tree being the only one who wasn't barfing. Wait, let me look at the date on this.

Okay, April 23rd. I just wanted to make sure that this was not some kind of April Fool's prank because I will say... Oh, this is recent. This is a new article. This is a pretty new one. Because Xavier, being a man of culture and academia as he is,

would not normally say take a dump, I don't think. So it's a bit out of character, but... Yeah, I guess another thing to... For people who aren't familiar maybe with the mystic investigations is it's a big... It's paranormal, but it's a big focus on holidays and holiday creatures. So we see a lot about... Santa Claus, the April Fool, the Eastern...

Bunny. Yeah, so this is, this is, that's the realm we're in right now is the suit, kind of a universe where the Easter Bunny and the supernatural stench could be. Yeah. The stench prodigy has the awful ability to amplify his body odor, bad breath, fart gases, and an armada of alarming aromas. Stank's flatulence is one of his greatest weapons as his ghastly gases can be terribly toxic, along with zapping the oxygen out of a room. With an exponential increase in the smell comes excessive levels of hydrogen, sulfide, methane, and carbon dioxide that could easily kill a person. This vile villain can also amplify the stank of other people near him to varying degrees.

The stench has also been known to power boost pleasant smelling things such as cologne or perfume into something so strong that it induces headaches and nausea in his victims. Generally, his stinky powers rely on a biological host having contact with the odor of origin. When his powers are in use, his eyes glow a light shade of brown that almost looks orange nose emoji. I like generally his stinky powers rely on a biological host having contact with the odor of origin. The odor of origins. He smells bad if you can smell him. You see, this is, I feel like a lot of the, what I found interesting about this one is a lot of the characters that Xavier writes about are usually, like you said, people from, from holidays.

I don't remember any kind of stinky holiday in my life. I do. The stench cult. Stink'sgiving. Stench cult. Oh, Stink's Giving, true. This is the Stench cult. Stinky Stefan also uses his stench generation abilities to raise money

for various purposes. Oh, that's not so bad. He can force people out of anywhere in seconds and then rob it of everything. He is also a hitman for hire who will take down anyone's foes via felonious funk. Stefan has occasionally allied with the plague doctor by using aromas as a vector for disease.

Everyone put, remember the plague doctor because he will be reappearing in my son. that. Oh, wow. However, the high class doctor turns his nose down. And put a pin on that on your nose, too. He turns his nose down at the nasty homeless stench and uses him sparingly only when necessary. Still, Stefan begs the plague doctor to let him in on the secrets of dark immortality as he pushes into his 80s. He also strives to hone the powers to absolute stench status. Indeed, Stefan does live as a traveling, disheveled homeless man in large cities around the world with the most concentration of people and repugnant rank.

This filthy fiend loves skulking about sewers, breathing in the toxic aroma of human waste. He has acquired enough money to live a grand life, but it goes against everything he believes in. Most of the money is used to fund his perplexingly poisonous plots and the crazy cult that supports him. Of course, every supernatural lunatic has a cult, and this one is full of the most disgusting people you could ever hope to meet. So here's what I like about this.

It confirms two of my biggest suspicions about any. given homeless person is that number one they have plenty of money they just don't want to use it right and number two they are probably a villain so any given homeless person usually an elderly one or something they there's a pretty high chance that it's Stefan stank in disguise i guess i didn't even think about you know yeah you have to read the thing about Xavier's writings is you have to read between the lines for things like that because you know he's not going to tell you straight up he can't tell you straight up. Exactly.

These words are too, you know, the concepts that he creates are too boggling for the human mind that he has to tell you through riddles like this. Yeah. Like Stefan, all, yeah, I know, we're getting a call from our landlord. All cult members are expected to never take a bath, brush their teeth or partake of any proper hygiene. Although he does provide mystical remedies so members stay in fighting shape and don't find their teeth rotting out.

The stench and his foul followers are responsible for the recent What does that say? Celebrity supported no bathing movement. What the hell? Celebrity supported? I imagine this is discussing people like Britney Spears that type of celebrity. If you even want to call them that. In the name of preserving their skins precious microorganisms

and despicable skin oils. Bath responsibly and you'll be just fine. Some of these celebs are secret cult members who bow to the stench as their guru. If you know someone with noxious B-O, then odds are they, odds are good that they are a cult member as well, especially if they give the excuse that it's good for their skin. Their ultimate end game is to return to the dark ages where nobody ever bathed, or if they did it was once a year.

They pray for a stench-ridden society polluted with blasphemous biological sewage. And what's that emoji there? That is a poop emoji. No, wow. Can you believe that? That is nasty. The stench slayers. Ooh.

Okay. there is a small group of brave warriors known as stench slayers they hunt down cult members and force them into showers and baths soaping them up really good afterward they make them put on freshly laundered clothing and begin the process of deprogramming

the hope is re-assimulation back into society to lead a normal clean and healthy life so far they haven't gotten close to saffan due to his overwhelming scent manipulation superhuman strength speed agility and senses superhuman strength well yeah he didn't mention that earlier I guess

Their dream is to scrub this guy clean, give him a seriously close shave, and lock him away in a room devoid of scent. This sick puppy hasn't bathed since the 1940s. Oh, damn. Most of the stench layers have either lost their sense of smell or wear protective gear, although such gear can be forced off or have one little accidental crack that allows stink to enter. Some have psychokinetic powers such as stench removal and scent shifting to combat the stench and the followers ripe with rank. stank. If you know someone with barf worthy B.O. Then urge them to take a shower and use some deodorant. If they

angrily refuse. You got to. You got to wash your ass. You have to. If they angrily refuse, then assume they're a brainwashed stench cult member and contact a paranormal professional for help. If you spot the stench himself, then prepare to vomit or even die. See, this is one of the things that's nice about Xavier

Remington to and Mystic Investigations is this stuff always has kind of a societal message. Yeah. It's something like it's like, okay, so we're, we're talking about the supernatural and magic and you know and but you know what actually a lot of this stuff matters yeah and this this will matter in your day to day life and there's a meaning and theme behind it it's prescriptive you know watch out for your friends it's saying go out there if somebody it looks if somebody's on the street and they look stinky then you should probably be kidnapping them

bringing them to a large bath dunking them in it and shaving their face and a room devoid of smell a room they should do they should make some kind of you know how you can put up like soundproof proofing foam and stuff. They should have smell proof. Oh, my God. I know, and I know they have air fresheners and stuff like that, but I want specifically a foam that I put on the wall. That'd just be better.

Yeah. Okay, so, and then this is, I think, just the last thing that he decided to include here, which is the infamous B.O. episode of Seinfeld. The video above features highlights of an episode of Seinfeld called The Smelly Car. You can watch the 20th episode of Season 4 here, and there's a link, which I don't think. is probably good. The attendant in the red jacket is a representation of a proud stench cult member who has worked diligently to build his body odor to the point that it can be spread to other people in locations. The art of rank stank spreading is a key practice

within the crazy cult. The goal of every cult member is to make sure this is to make their stench take on a life of its own and live on even after their death. In sitcom form it's funny but in real life it's no laughing matter. That's actually that honestly that last sentence that is true to me about almost everything or if I see it in a sitcom I will laugh my but if someone says something to me in real life I'll say oh okay I mean think about even other even other

Seinfeld stuff think about the soup Nazi Nazi if there was a Nazi for soups I don't think it would be that funny to me if I said can I please have a clam chowder and can you take all the clam bit just the chowder please and he says get the fuck out I'm the fucking Nazi

yeah look at my Nazi tattoo that's not funny I'm an effing Nazi yeah but no yeah you know you know you cannot have soup, I'm a Nazi. I'd go, what the fuck is going on? I'd probably report them to the cops. I'd report them to the ADO. I would feel like I was in an episode of TV, but not a sitcom.

No. I feel like I was in the twilight zone. First of all, I'd say, what is this, Seinfeld? Yeah. But then I would say. Then I would say, no. What is this? Curb your enthusiasm?

Yep. Then I'd say no. But he would get, he would probably like the soup so much that he'd just say, oh, who gives a shit? Yeah, it gives a shit if it's a Nazi. But me. personally, I'd probably go back and I'd probably fucking execute him. Yeah. Probably blow his brains into the soup. I would

go into the soup Nazi store. I'd shrink myself going to his body start playing with all of his little pieces. You know what? I would shrink myself to be, I would change my size to be, I would be maybe half, maybe a quarter of an inch smaller than him so I could go inside of him and just be fully my full body inside of him. I would stay

regular size, pick him up and then put him in a blender, right? Cook him down with some tomato paste or something. You'd a soup out of him. I would make a soup out of that Nazi. See, I'd do to do all that, but then I'd also shrink to half my size. And then you'd swim in the soup on a croton.

You know what I'd say, you know what I would do? I'd say, yeah, yeah, I'd use it like a kickboard. Yeah. Here's what I would say, I would, uh, he'd say all this BS Nazi bull crap. Uh-huh. And I'd say, yeah, big surprise. Soup surrounded by fucking crackers. Oh shit.

Yeah. Damn. That is good. She fucking insult his cracker ass in every way I can think of. Yeah. He would crack. He'd crack under the pressure. He'd crack under the pressure, and I'd say, that's right. Mm-hmm. I knew that was coming. All right.

Who's next? Who's next with this? I can go next. All right. Are you sure? I feel like you have a bigger investigation than I do. Okay. If you want to go next, mine is kind of brief.

You just said who's next, which implies you don't want to go next. I'll go next. I'll go next. Because I don't have too much. No, it's not Patrick's Deals Corner. It's not a deal point. It's not a deal point. Get out of the Deals Corner.

Put that away. So I was looking yesterday. So, I was looking around on Xavier's Twitter profile, Metaphysical PI, because guess what happened, you guys? The craziest thing. Metaphysical PI is team followback. Really? He follows you.

Team follow back metaphysical PI. So I sent them a DM. I said, hello, Xavier. I've been very interested in Mystic Investee. for a while now. Big fan was wondering if you could answer

some questions for me. Xavier is so elusive that I did not hear a peep. Look at that. Left me off red.

Honestly, because of his metaphysical nature, he probably tried to type it back and his hand phased through the fucking phone. He probably got trapped

in his keyboard and is now in a cyber chase-style situation. Trying to type you a message back. Yeah. But he's too small.

He can't even press the keys on the circuits. Also, well, you can't, yeah, there's no, yeah, it doesn't make a lot of sense. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. He needs to be inside the keyboard. There's not a keyboard on it. Yeah.

So the first, so then I'm just clicking around his page. So I'm clicking around. I'm just trying to figure out all this stuff. You're trying to see why does it, if maybe he has some kind of like text back guide. Yeah, so then I saw this. When you'll crush text to you. What these emojis mean? I've been looking through his page and I got interested immediately.

because he was talking about shaman George Lucas guided by our powerful shaman, George Lucas, has been in contact with force ghosts from a bubble universe where Star Wars is real, ghost emoji. The reality was created by the human collective consciousness belief

in his stories. Lucas hopes to join them as his afterlife someday. He wants to, George Lucas hopes to become a force ghost. I would be so pissed off if I died and it was Star Wars. The afterlife was Star Wars. Do you mean you would go to Star Wars or you would be a ghost-like in Star Wars? No, like I would go to Star Wars.

You would wake up in after-life is Star Wars. You wake up and Kit Fisto. I think that'd be kind of cool. I would be pissed off because I would be like, come on, Star Wars. Why not it's something else that I like more? Yeah. If it was for everyone else, it was Star Wars. I would learn to love it.

Yeah, I probably would too. I would learn to love it. Here's the thing about Star Wars. The franchise is indeed based. on a true story, the Jedi the Sith, the force, rebel alliance, and the battle against the Galactic Empire a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, are

real. This includes Emperor Balbeteen, Darth Vader, Yoda, Luke, Skywalker, Han Solo, Princess Leia, and the rest of the characters, to an extent. To an extent, yeah. There is also the original trilogy and prequels that involved George Lucas. However, the latest trilogy in Disney's hands, Luce's touch, with what

actually happened to these legendary people. The evidence that Star Wars is real has been suppressed by the government with a controlled release to the entertainment industry. That explains so much about the Last Jedi. This is, oh wait, yeah, because look at this. Lucas sells to Disney and the real trilogy is

lost. Damn. Yeah. Lucas gave his story ideas for episode 7 through 9 to Disney, but they chose to take the more creative route and made up their own stories for the most part. George also tried to convince Disney that Star Wars was based on a true story, but they thought he was nuts.

Although later on, Disney's government connections in the U.S. paranormal defense agency made them think otherwise. Unluckily for them, none of their psychics could get confirmed contact with the Star Wars galaxy and they were hell-bent on telling their own tales. It is thought

that the character of Ray was a substitute for the real Luke Skywalker's daughter, Anika. As far as we know, Palpatine never had any kids. He was the quintessence of evil at a height beyond any desire for love, sex, or procreation.

In fact, if he had a child, he would see it as a threat to his power and eradicate it. Despite George losing his way for time, he has been promised force-go status upon his natural death. As a reward for telling the Star Wars saga. Can you go back in shock that nobody wanted to let Palpatine hit it raw? I know. He's disgusting. I would, though.

He's got kind of like... Sheave? He's got kind of like the tired white boy. He's got Pete Davidson eyes. Yeah, he does. Oh, he does actually, yeah, maybe he would actually smash hard. I feel like I would bet money that, genuinely a U.S., some kind of

U.S. government agency has tried to get psychics in contact with the Star Wars galaxy. I bet that that's something that they did. No doubt. In the 60s and shit, they were just going for it. Yeah, all the remote viewing thing where they would get people with ESP to be like, they'd be like, draw a picture of the moon.

And they would draw a picture of the moon and then draw a building on it. And then they'd be like, holy shit. Oh my God, there's a building on the moon. We need to lock you to a room for a year. Yeah. So if you thought that these two slides or the sort of rude to the Disney trilogy here. Wait until you see this next tweet

that I saw from Xavier. Oh, mate. Kathleen Kennedy is trending as she is the darkness of the Star Wars universe, the fundamental source for the dark side of the force. She and her allies

managed to lock the bringer of light George Lucas in a cosmic cage. Will the Jedi of the righteous light be able to save him? We need to save George. We need to look at her eyes in that photo. She does look.

demonic. She looks demonic as hell. There's a bunch of other stuff about Kathleen Kennedy too. Kathleen Kennedy announces that Star Wars, The Rise of Skywalker will end with the revelation that the last three movies were a bad dream in the mind of a drunk EWalk. After that, she was stepped down in a new team

who knows what the hell they're doing will redo the trilogy. Not Fatality. Yep. So this is between posts about how Santa Claus is actually fighting the Easter party. There's a dark version. It's April. The April

Anti-Fools The April anti-fool Anti-Claws Yeah Okay Yeah So these are These are all in between that

A year ago Yeah This is about the Disney Star Wars Hotel flop Uh So he's responding Xavier had Xavier had this to say

To Fatherly HQ I heard it was too fake and expensive Most likely Kathleen Kennedy Was involved in this debacle in some way She's the one behind all the Star Wars failures. I'm not sure why she hasn't been fired yet. Yeah.

Kathleen Kennedy has re-upped her Lucasfilm contract for three more years. Thank God. I don't know how Star Wars or any movie franchise would ever get along without her. Not. Wow. Well, I mean, it would have been not that big of a deal and we wouldn't need the gunshot. Until those last three. The knot is incredible.

That is a scathing knot. And then I saw this here. hashtag North Korea Christmas gift. Oh, I love that hashtag. Yeah. I'm known to peruse. I'll always browse like that hashtag.

I read this one a lot. North Korea Christmas gift. Some are saying Kim Jong-un's Christmas gift will be remaking the latest Star Wars trilogy, including Star Wars the Rise of Skywalker.

Apparently he'll star in it and defeat Palpatine. You know what I have to say to this? You know what I have to say to about this one? What? Points. Yes. Yes.

Kind of an at midnight. Yeah. There is a lot of these At Midnight style Xavier tweets that I've been looking through Baby Yoda problems. Oh, that is definitely

an at midnight one. Baby Yoda made some offhand comment on the Galactic Twitter and it wasn't politically correct. Now baby's status as a media darling is over

as they hate spews forth like an intolerant hellfire. He tried to clarify but it's too late. He's ruined for life. Poor Yoda. Even laughing emoji. Points are no points.

I think no points. I think no points. The laughing emoji is spiteful. This hits a little too close to home because I think even Yoda, sadly, even Yoda could be a target of the woke left. Yeah. Especially Baby Yoda, Grogu. Exactly. They probably try to get Baby Yoda cooked out of high school.

Exactly. I want you to read the, I want you to think in this, for this next one, I want you to think in your head. Just imagine Johnny Carson saying this. Okay. All right. Now do my, there's one retort. tweet on this. Okay.

I'll do my best to try and sound like Johnny Carson closing my eyes. Uncle Ben's will rebrand and enter the world of science fiction. They will either feature Obi-Wan Kenobi or

Ben Parker from hashtag Spider-Man as the new Uncle Ben. Most are expecting Ben Kenobi to win people to win as people want rice that is strong with the force.

Could you see? Yeah, no, I mean that sounds very much. Yeah. I don't know if it's because you were doing the impression or not. Yeah. But it did kind of sound like here. That's written in Carson's voice.

Yeah, a little bit. This is Xavier, I think, using his powers to tap into, like, other... He's putting together to late... Interdimensional beings like Johnny Carson, yeah. This next one here, I guess this one more is like a Jay Leno. So, to hit the Jay on this.

You know, every time I see Hoda trending, I think of Yoda. And how that would probably be the name of his wife. it feels a lot to get married. Yes. You know how you name your wife? Oh, wait, Dan's here. Wait, pause it, pause it.

The landlord is here? Okay. All right. Well, that, so that happened. Okay, so this next one here, again, if we're going with late night hosts. Yeah. Think about this one, think about this one in Jimmy Fowland's voice.

I can't really do. He doesn't really have a discern. He doesn't even have a voice. Yeah. Because remember he would do thank you cards? No. Okay.

I'm the only one that remembers that. Thank you, JJ Abrams, for letting Luke Skywalker go nuts on Palpatine with amazing force powers we've never seen him use for Anakin having returned as a force ghost with a major role. Wait, that never happened.

Wow. Oh, wow. And then I'll just burn through these last two. Hashtag how Star Wars should end. The forest ghost of Luke Skywalker, ends up on Earth in 1971 and shares the saga of Star Wars with George Lucas. Points. That's points.

That's points. Then I thought the Phantom Menace was trending because they were remastering it by deleting Jar Jar Binks from existence. And then this last one here, I put this in here because I felt this one. So episode six through nine are not really the real outcomes. That's why they seem so lackluster compared to the others. Good to know. Also, hi, Xavier. Are you free to talk?

So this person is saying that this is because they started going off the rails of the actual history. So this is basically like the first six of the Bible and now they're doing kind of a Mormonism. Yes. It's getting wacky. Okay. That makes sense. All right. I did mine about another holiday being that I was very happy to find.

This is very interesting to me. Okay. This is who is the Mardi Gras Joker? Oh, my God. Wow. And this is a picture of the Mardi Gras Joker. Pretty scary for all the people who can't see it. Looks good. It's a jester.

It's a scary jester. No ordinary jester. No, looking a bit supernatural in nature. A goth jester. But here, I'll go ahead here and read, tell you guys about the Mardi Gras Joker. The Mardi Gras' real name is Frank Farkis, but he's long since abandoned that identity. Frank Began is a low-level criminal who utilized theft and intimidation to create wealth, all the enjoying the torment of innocent people.

There's some evidence he had abusive parents and may have once had a speech impediment that caused him to be bullied as a child. At some point, he discovered voodoo magic and found he had a deep interest in it. He realized his natural talent for dark voodoo and began training under a voodoo master named Trail Fees.

His powers grew and so did his criminal enterprise which began to employ its own thugs. Isn't this the same backstory as Sweet Tooth? No, Sweet Tooth was a serial killer. It's funny you say that because they do mention twisted but the way that I found this article

was from a list of apocalypses and they mentioned twisted metal and the one thing about this so being a dark master of voodoo magic

grants the Mardi Gras Joker immense paranormal power on top of that he taps directly into the spirit of Mardi Gras and Carnival Oh my God thereby adding

its metaphysical energy to his body this not only increases his magical abilities but also grants him enhanced superhuman strength speed agility and senses. He also has a slight psychic ability to sense danger afoot. So the power of the

Mardi Gras Joker is he's Spider-Man. Oh, true. He has the senses. He has the same powers as Spider-Man. He has funny senses. His weaknesses may include those employing an even greater voodoo against him or the use of other forms of magic. He is considered virtually the top voodoo practitioner on Earth, so it would probably take a group of talented magic masters to take him down. As the leader of a holiday, he needs a magical artifact of some type to channel the holiday spirit into his body. This is often a crystal, such as Santa Claus' infamous Christmas

crystal. The Christmas crystal. Which we all know about the Christmas crystal. I'm starting to remember it a little bit. Yeah, people can do their own research. I remember it being blue. Everybody knows it. Yeah. Once his supernatural status had sufficiently increased, he set his sights on metaphysically taking over Mardi Gras. He has warped the spirit of the holiday

into a dark force that he channels through his own deformed soul, awaiting damnation in hell. Although he doesn't care much for the devil, emperor of hell, but does like the self-made king of hell, Dmitri Diablo. The Joker now works with other forces of darkness around the world to destroy humankind. The goal is to bring

about a party apocalypse to shroud the world in eternal darkness and violent partying. Plausibly like something seen in the Purge films, except 24 hours a day, every day for eternity. One of his most recent associates is the plague doctor, remember him, who often employs new genetically

engineered STDs during Marty Crofts. I've heard of this. The Joker has also been rumored to have terrifying ties with an even more famous jester, an even more famous jester, known as the April Anti-Fool, which way more famous. Everyone knows the April Antifool.

There are also recent associations with various clown cults. Watch the Purge films to get a frightening feel of the party apocalypse ad. So it's something I noticed, now he has a bunch of ads that are links to watch movies. Like he got a bunch of,

I think he got sponsorships with some streaming site or something. Oh, did you click on any of them? I didn't click on them because they say ad. And basically as a child of the internet, I know not to click on it. You know better. Yeah.

Update 2021. The Mardi Gras Joker is livid about the cancellation of Mardi Gras and other carnival celebrations around the world due to the COVID-19 pandemic. The Joker has cut ties with the plague doctor and disgust as he initiated the pandemic to begin with. St. Nicholas is happy about this development as Shrove Tuesday pushes forth the greater spirit of the dark Mardi Gras spirit. Another win for the supernatural forces of good. So this is kind of bearing the lead, but I mean, the big break.

news here is that the COVID-19 pandemic is completely manufactured by the plague doctor. Yeah. Wow. I mean pretty crazy. If you sit down and think about it, if you sit down and think about it, that makes complete sense. Well, notice they didn't say the plague doctor's full name. That's true. Yeah. But this is where it takes a turn

here. I'm hoping nobody walks in turning this part. I saw this at the bottom of the article here. Marty Grad Joker's stories. Marty God Joker's role in the George Floyd protest. This is the first link In the bottom of the article So I clicked on this

Yeah Yeah Protests, riots, and civil unrest Rage forth as a result of the dastardly death of George Floyd Even when he's talking about this He's doing illiteration

The dastardly death This crazy chaos Has included Looting Vandalism, Battles with Counter-Protesters and major property damage And violent police response there is one confirmed

citing of the Jeopardus Joker at a New York City process he wasn't wearing his complete Jester's costume but his apparel was odd enough he and his cultists were aware inciting violence

by throwing rocks at windows and police the Joker laughed loudly like a loon as he flung a few rocks at police clad in riot gear two officers ran toward him and shot the Joker with pepper spray it had no effect and he began beating down

on the police with superhuman strength that broke their face shields other officers moving moved in while his cultists ran around destroying any cameras trying to film the spectacle. I was going to ask. Yeah. There you go. He wrote it in.

Another officer tased him and the Joker's response was, Are you trying to turn on me, boy? Turn me on, boy. Turn me on, boy. Oh, my God. He forcibly grabbed the taser away and shocked several officers. They drew guns ready to fire when he quickly recited an incantation and clutched a voodoo doll that looked like a cop.

No. The police suddenly froze as he froliced away down an alley and disappeared, within 10 seconds they were moving again. Wow. So the jester had... I like the idea that all the cops look similar enough that one voodoo doll covers all of them. Just a voodoo doll with just a big pot belly.

Yeah, it is a really fat. That's so cool, man. So he's actually pretty much based. Yeah. That he's attacking the cops. Yeah, well, so this kind of gives you an insight into what Xavier Remington thinks about some stuff. What he thinks the side of evil is.

Yeah. But there's a little more here. protesters gone missing. Oh, no. There have been reports of protesters who mysteriously disappeared during the violence or were later found dead. The police have denied responsibility. In some cases, it's non-paranormal serial killers and other sick puppies, along with sex traffickers looking for new victims. New victim, exclamation point, by the way.

Looking for new victims. With the rest, it's the Mardi Gras Joker's cult, kidnapping people for sacrifices or brainwashing them into their organization of terror. This also goes for the plague doctor's cult, who also loves spreading COVID-19 and other diseases within the large crowds. Various evil witches and warlocks are also searching for fresh blood sacrifices to their demon or dark deity of choice. Many have the false illusion of feeling safe in crowds, especially if they are like-minded people out for a single cause. Remember that you are in a sea of humanity that is a target for supernatural sharks out for your flesh and blood. Always be on alert.

So if you're in it, if you ever go to a protest, just keep your eyes out. For witches, warlocks, plague doctors, Marty garage workers, vampires. You're better off not going to any protest. It's dangerous. It's dangerous. It's very dangerous. There could be all sorts of ghouls.

There could be a warlock. Yeah. And that's all my slides. There could even be, and also if you would, I mean, other dangers of protest, nudity. People are going and they're showing their penises and their vaginas. There are women sitting in Chris, or spread eagle with their pussy ass out. They're sitting, go ahead. They're sitting crisscross and appropriating Native American sitting circles.

Yeah, well, that would be basically something that we should protest. Yeah. But do it quietly. You sounded like you were about to spit. Do it quietly and go to a protest if there's one or two people there that you know is not a vampire. Uh-huh. Yeah. Or a Mardi Gras Joker,

warlock, ghoul type. Oh, something I didn't put in here that I forgot to put in, that I just remembered. The Mardi Gras Joker also, he hates if you compare him to the Batman Joker. Really? Really? Well, then I'm not going to go there. We're going to go ahead in the episode before we get anywhere near that. And also, you know what I'm going to do?

Our landlord's been knocking on our door for about 15 minutes. Really? He's still there? He's just kind of walking. walking around like a Sasquatch okay bye guys it's just the most why our bodies hate what's good for them yeah you know what I mean why that is why is it that vegetables taste like doo-doo to people like us but candy and bread tastes so incredible yesterday I had probably the worst diet I've ever had my entire

life I ate breakfast lunch and dinner all three of them were sandwiches Jimmy John Yeah, Jimmy John I had a breakfast sandwich A tuna sandwich And a Jimmy John sandwich Those were my meals That's

That is such a bad way to live You do that every day Don't you? That's a good A couple years of my life Just three sandwiches a day With sandwiches and chips Three square sandwiches

Every single day Why is it so fucking good I also want to be the first Maybe on a podcast To welcome Jimmy Johns To New York City Yes Fort Green

Bordering on Best I They do it right there Yes They really do. I didn't know they didn't have Jimmy Johns in... I thought Jimmy Johns was a like a Jersey franchise. Oh, that's Jersey Mike. Wait, hold on.

Yep. Wow, that's fucking embarrassing as shit. Can you imagine being the first morning radio? You realize you could do this? Yeah, I always think about what was the first, the first, like, noise that they put on a soundboard for, like, stern or whatever I mean they were probably putting

like amber alerts they got the number of utilities back then all those children were getting the buttons used to only be for amber alerts and like weather reports and stuff like that and then one guy was like

a child has gone missing in Orange New Jersey tornado alert for your county Oh, my God!