Podcast About List - Ep. 246 - Witness Protection Program ft. Joe Gleason

Episode Date: June 14, 2023

Today, Joe from HOME__PLANET joins us to talk about things like the witness protection program and about getting back on track with some classic lists/conversation topics, also we don't know where Caleb is and you shouldn't ask where he is. Watch the full video for this episode youtube.com/@PodcastAboutList Buy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

That's my clap. Okay. That's my clap, y'all. That's his clap, y'all. Welcome back to another episode. Yay. A podcast about list. This is a big one today.

This is exciting. Guess what? Caleb is failed again. Phelib has failed again. Phelib shit is in the mountains. And he's, I guess he's, I guess he's getting a diamond or something, or he's like getting, he's going up to look for some kind of rare gem in the mountain. I think you're thinking of a dwarf. He's going there to, oh, right, he's going to look for gold.

And he's trying to find a dwarf's mountain castle. I don't know what he's doing up there, but what he's doing is an affront to God and his stuff. And let's just say the desolation of Smau has begun. yeah right uh-huh yeah he's going up there we have beautiful and replacing him today replacing philip we have go which is the opposite of failing go fish motherfucker pretty cool it's kind of like i'm kind of working on some catchphrase have you ever been on by yourself i don't remember i think that you you've been on before i was on by myself before you were on it that's right in boston yeah when the dark one wow the dark 31 just makes you reminisce you

doesn't know. Just remembering things. I know that that was such a good episode. We were having fun. I went upstairs to Caleb's apartment and we did it in his room. Oh yeah, because you guys lived in the same building. I just remember there's a few times you've been on this show. You've only been on here with Alex,

but I remember the one time Caleb wasn't here and we were doing karaoke to start the episode off. And it was me and Cameron in the living room singing and then you had to come out and yell at us. I did not yell, but it was. You had to reprimand us. Yeah, I mean, I think important detail is that it was at my apartment at like... Our apartment. Ten in that in the morning.

At noon. And I was maybe closer to noon. I was mid-work call. And you were in the... Back when I worked. And I think that it was... So your work didn't appreciate New Divide by looking for. We were singing one republic and he said you have to go to your bedroom.

I think it was so rude. I think it was probably the second or third karaoke song of the day. Yeah. I was like, I'm going to push this. I'm going to push this to the other show. I mean, yeah, it's on, it's on an episode. You can hear it. Can you hear me in it?

I think you can hear you kind of saying like. Quietly. Yeah. That's exactly what you said was come on guys. Yeah. And then I said, can you just take the call on your balcony? Yeah, I mean, I probably could have. It doesn't matter.

It's not like I... Well, hindsight is 20. Come on, guys. It always hurts the most. I know. Because you ruined an amazing episode. I'm sure the listeners loves just like a straight karaoke track streamed into the thing. Yeah, when we didn't even have a setup yet where you could like pipe the music and do it.

We didn't even... You just started off the app with a couple songs. You can barely hear the song in the background. Well, that's a good way to start off an episode of anything is music. Yeah. That's why TV episodes. It starts with the theme song. Yeah, and this show has a theme song. That's true.

Did it play? It must have. Or is this the cold? Are we setting up the cold open? Oh, no. It plays right now. Pretty exciting. It's not going to play.

That's a good idea. You don't get to control when it plays. Okay, maybe if it played like right now. No, no, no, no, don't. You can't do that. Because that'll be hell for Jubio to edit. Yeah, that's difficult. Yeah.

And look, he's already pissed off right now. You can see him on the screen. I can't. he looks crazy he looks so mad look at him no he's fine can you put the theme song right now no he's not going to do it

he's not going to edit it no don't nod it to him you're not doing it I'm going to put it there don't put it there yes no I feel like Thanos when he got the Infinity Stones

pretty sick okay so here's something we were just talking about yeah basically if we all baked our deaths and ended the podcast Oh, yeah.

And it was over. And then we started a new one. Yeah, you fake your death for no reason. You also fake your death just to be part of it. I go Juliet. I kill myself. Yeah. For real.

Because you love us too much. You get fooled. Fouliette. Yeah. Fulia. Think about that. But then what would the next one be called? Because let's be honest.

Also, if I'm faking my death, I'm starting another podcast immediately. That's how they're going to catch me. Yeah. If I could send it a witness protection, I will not be able to stay away from doing. You just couldn't. You just couldn't. help yourself. The first day of witness

protection and buying a snowball mic and be like, hey everybody. Checking in here. My name is. So for some reason,

they made me change my name from Cameron Fetter to John Smith. The craziest thing happened today. I got put into a witness

production. Because I never believe a mafia-related murder. Yeah. And guess what? The guy

who was killed by the Scarducci family. Johnny Scarducci Killed my friend It's a 10-hour log of all the crimes you witness. Hey, look, I even have a clip. It's just a video that guy just murdering.

Like, yeah. And here's my new address. For real, though, if I was in witness protection and I saw somebody I knew, I would not be able to not nod to them. Yeah. I would do the, I would do the eyebrow. No, no, no.

You take off the glasses that they're, like, making you wear and just going, like, Yeah. It's me. It's me. Hey, don't tell anybody. It's like someone that you, like, you went to, they were in high school for, like, one year at the same time. It's someone who's very loosely. Take a picture.

Yeah, someone who would not have even, they wouldn't have recognized you. Yeah, someone who took, like, a history class in college. Yeah. Oh, wow. I sat three rows behind you. You see them. And you go, you go, oh my God. It's.

it's Kimran I'm in with his protection I'm playing a game that the FBI agent told me I'm playing a game I'm playing a game where I'm playing a new character Do you know Johnny Scartucci

Just sitting on the bus And seeing someone you know Get on and just not saying anything But just like we're like Me Just looking like you're about to laugh The whole time All right

Standing up Yeah all right caught me. It's me. Yeah. Tapping the old lady sitting next to me and be like, I know someone on this bus. My friend's on the bus. I can't say hello to them, but I know them. I can't say hello to them because I witnessed a murder and they put me on witness protection, but my real name is Cameron and I live at this street. Yeah, I would be hanging out in the laundromat and I just be talking to people and be like, yeah, I can't say hello to a lot of the people I know anymore, but I can't tell you why. I try to go. I drive around my,

old town all the time and I just look at people. Look, this nose is fake. Look, play, wait, wait, okay, do this. Say, I got your nose and then actually take my nose. Just, yeah, I would be a, no, I would, do you think they give you a whole new style? Yeah, they have to.

Yeah, they bring in tan France from. Yeah. Yeah, you just look super. You can tell someone's in witness protection because they're wearing really cool. They're wearing bonobos. Yeah, French tuck, short-sleeve pattern T-shirt. Yeah.

They're all in, like, just decked out and just mall clothes. You just see it, but you keep noticing somebody, people wearing the exact same outfit. It's just a bunch of, like, really fat, crazy-looking Italian guys with, like, the, like, Macamore. Yeah, they're all, like, meadow from the super.

Really tight, like, short. Just wearing, like, like, they're all eating avocados. You know, then I started talking to my dad seriously. I realized it's like the fucking underlying problems. They're all wearing, they're wearing like, like, fucking like Hollister and shit. Like like those old like the shit that people wore in like 2008, those Hollister shirts with like the felt letters. Yeah.

That'd be so sick. You see one of those big Italian guys in that shit. Yeah, I guess that if basically, if you have to get your style made over, your witness protection, which I think that seems like maybe it would happen. In my mind, it's usually hair dye, glasses, or removal of glasses. Beard or no beard. Yeah. Removal of teeth.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Adding a beard to a lady who goes out of protection. That would work. That's actually ingenious. But I feel like the stylist that you hire has to be airtight. Yeah. It's probably someone who's

The tiniest, the tiniest, I think could blow your entire cover. I would have to imagine it's an FBI agent who just has an eye for those kinds of things, you know? But like, if it's like, yeah, if it's like a 60-year-old like silver-haired Italian guy and they put him in Hollister. Yeah.

I'm going to know right away. This guy has seen a lot of shit. Yeah. This guy's a fucking rat. I should kill this guy. But here's the opposite thing. That's what it is. Whenever you see a fucking hot topic old guy,

you know, when you see like the guy who's like 40 and he still has the nose piercing and the and the band the like the fucked up bangs and stuff that's what's that's what happened that's why you why they're like that's why you want to kill that guy so yeah we need to kill the guy in the cure because he's a fucking rat robert smith yeah he looks crazy he's cool though fake name too think about it robert smith no way that someone's yeah yeah we start with the name And you know what? Yeah, something Smith.

One of the first, I think one of their first albums has a song called Killing in Arab. Oh my God. What did he do? Yeah, that's the admission. Or what did he see somebody do? What did he see somebody do? Yeah. And the whole song is, the whole song is a confession.

Oh, my God. That is crazy. That is crazy. Uh-huh. All the way to the cure. Yeah. Speaking of it, be really sick to, like, be the witness protection stylist. And you're just doing, like, character creation.

dudes and you're giving like you're giving them like big like pink liberty spikes but you just see it some like fat old Italian guy yeah yeah you're putting like you're going to do we're going to make sure that you're safe we're going to send you down a Boca Raton we're going to put your eyes on the side of your head you're going to have a scar that goes like through your eye down the side of your face what we need to do we need this is the the amulet of Akitosh okay I'm going to put that around your neck. Okay, you're going to wear this at all times. You're going to be moving in with a lady who looks like a cat. Yeah, here. And this is called scuma. You're going to be need to take

a lot of this. Wouldn't it be incredible? If you ever, if you ever see someone you know, give them a very loud fuss rodar. You'll be, you want it to deal with it. The extent of my, my Skyrim. Yeah, that was good. Fusroda. Oh, and the knee. The knee. Yeah. Oh, the arrow to the Arrow to the knee. Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Buddy.

Brings back the memories. Wouldn't it be incredible to be so dangerous? They had to disguise a guy to protect him from you. Yeah. That if you're so, you're so evil and dangerous that they're like, we have to turn this. We have to change this guy's whole style up or you're going to destroy him. I like the idea that it's just, like they live in the same town. It's just style.

They can't afford to move. There's some serious budget cuts. Yeah. So a lot of shit got fucked up at the FBI. Yeah. they just comb his hair a different way. That's the lower tier of witness protection. They either lose the agents who are like doing serious, you know,

shit or they get rid of the guy who gives him all hair cut. Well, this is a guy who like, he snitched on someone who was doing something that like he saw somebody shoplifting magic the gathering cards and he was like, I'll tell you who did it, but you need to put me into witness protection. They're like, okay, I guess, man. They're doing just the whole song and dance with him just to like, just to make him think that it's happening. but they're just like going like, okay, they put them in a pod.

When you come out, you're going to look completely different. Yeah. You're going to be shorter. You're going to be wider. You have to wear these color contacts for the rest of your life. What do you think they would be killed? If you ever take these colored contacts out, you will die. A cat eye.

Color contacts. Also, you're going to be the greatest backpack rapper of all time. Yeah. Mr. Hopston. I think most celebrities might be in witness protection. Yeah. I think that kind of counter, that runs counter to witness protection all about. It's called riding in plain sight.

You're a famous pop star. You are in a Montana. You're the world. You came up on Vine through seven second songs. You were a guy who has the power to climb walls and swing on webs. You can drop a spider in the room. Taking a spider out of a spider out of it. like a radio act is steel bag

and just tossing it in. Okay, something will happen to you. Yeah. Wow. But anyway, even the reason I brought this up is what would the name of the next podcast be? Yeah.

I kind of got sidetracked. I thought, I said one that Joe was on board with and it was motherfuckas and jeans. That's not bad, I guess. You just have to commit to the jeans. But we could only talk about denim and the motherfucker part.

And being a motherfucker. Yeah. Talking about denim. Just being like this is called salvage motherfucker the thing where you wear the denim into the ocean after a year that's yeah you don't wait what if you get like real nice denim jeans this these uh if you get like a raw indigo jeans like they wear them all year yeah you like form them to your body and then at the end of the year you walk into the ocean you can walk into the ocean you can what

do it in your bathtub but why do you have to walk into the ocean there's just some guys who go into the ocean. This is the only way to cleanse what the pants are done to you. I mean, you can sit in your bathtub, bathtub, but why would you even want to get them wet in the first place? You get them wet so that to wash them? Yeah, to wash them and then the dye comes out and then you like distress it yourself. So what does it mean to be distressed?

Like when you're feeling so bad. You got to feel so bad. There's this one dude. I forget, like people would repost him on Twitter and his name was the Swiss jeans freak and he was like an old Swiss guy who's obsessed with denim and he would bathe

and he would put his jeans in piss he would soak him in piss so that they would get like a yellowish tint to him. He would bathe them in piss? Yeah, so that the, when the fades happen so like there must be another yellow liquid he could have used. Yeah, totally. Does it have to be yellow? I don't know, I just saw.

If he wants a yellow I think if you look up Swiss jeans freak piss. You did that you touched the camera. I was out. Jubia, can you look that up? P. I know what the jeans?

Can you look up Swiss jeans freak P? Oh, there he is. Be careful for that's YouTube. Effects of urine with denim. Yeah, that's him. That's the Swiss jeans freak. What's going on there? He has a lot of jeans.

He is completely obsessed with jeans. A very tiny picture of him. Yeah. I just remember seeing somebody repost a photo of him. I don't remember who did it, but it was them posting a photo of him with jeans and pee. If you like jeans so much, I feel like you're allowed to do that kind of thing. Yeah. P? P on your jeans. You're like to be if you like jeans. I think if you're like so into it, you can do it. I would maybe counter that by saying, I think maybe it's more if you're into P that you do something like that.

But where does the P stay? where does it stay? When I was a kid I saw something on the internet that was like all dudes like have a little drip of pee on the end of their Pee Pee. Say it.

All guys like finish. Have a drip on the end of their what? Pete. I didn't say it. When they like pull up their pants after they go to the toilet. Uh-huh. You saw that.

I saw someone say like, You googled, do guys have pee on their penis? I have a little bit of pee on my penis. Is this normal? You are on Yahoo answers. Yeah. What's going on? Does this happen to all guys?

Yeah. What's this stuff? What's this stuff? After I pee. What's this stuff after I pee that's all over me? That looks like. What is this stuff? What the hell is this crap?

What's this stuff in my hands after I pee in my hands? I think it's pee. Oh. Yeah, I might be. Those, those, those, those, raw denim guys are crazy. Raw denim. What is raw denim?

What does that mean? Like when you get jeans, they get treated and washed, right? So it's like, what's jeans made out of? What is denim? Jeans is cotton. It's like interwoven

and then dye to indigo. Oh, yeah. So every pair of, like, you can get them raw where that like if you sweat and then wipe your hand on it, there will be like blue on your hand.

They don't like lock in the die. Yeah, they don't lock in the dye. So then you walk around. So could you get completely. dyed jeans and they're just white? Yeah. Really? Really?

Yeah, probably. Probably or really? I think so. You can look it up. Well, they wouldn't be jeans. Yeah. Well, they could be jeans. People wear black jeans.

Yeah. But when you make them to denim. I don't know how it works. Does denim mean blue? I don't know how it works. I just know that raw denim guys. Raw denim guys don't wash their jeans for a whole year.

They get their booty stank all over it. And then they walk into the fucking ocean. sometimes or they pee on them and they're obsessed with getting the honeycombs which is the like pattern on the back of the the knee so there's like a distress it's like look how often I move my leg in my raw denim oh talk about a crazy guy honeycomb the little guy little bee the little like monster with the arms and legs why did they make him that because he looks like the thing probably he doesn't look like a here i'll tell you i mean you ask that question again Why do they call him that?

Why do they make him that? Make him that. Oh, we're still talking about him, aren't we? Advertising at work. Years and years later. Hit that fucking button. Whoa. Fuck yeah.

What are the other ones? You'll find out. Yeah, you'll see. I need to. That's the best one by far. Oh, my God. That's a new addition, too. That is the best one.

I was lying in bed and I thought I need to add that to this out. That's the one that rounded out the soundboard for us. You really have to be careful with that. It is nice just explaining the show how the show has been to you. I've listened to some episodes. Yeah, but not enough. To you and then to the fans listening who already know. This guy, by the way, to the fans, we don't know this guy and he's a fan we just ran into.

So if you want to be on the show, you have a chance. Just run up on us. There's some clues in the back. Any video with these guys in it, there's some clues in the background as to where they may or may not live. And this guy just rang the doorbell and now he's here. Yeah. If you guys get your geogessor on, you can find these guys. Geo Rainbolt.

Oh, we had weed, me and Julio. We had weed. We had weed. Julio and I were debating a question last night that we actually ended up asking that guy, the geogessor guy. Did he reply? In person? No, we just sent him a DM. Oh, okay.

Do you have a, do you see if he replied? Let me pull up the question here so I can read it out. Okay. Let me fill the dead air while this is loading. This takes a long time to load. Okay, so this is the question that we asked him. I asked, I wanted him to know. I asked, are there any towns in the USA with no pizza?

Send him another message right now. Send him some question marks. Or like, here, rephrase it. Here, send this, say, or rather, are there any towns in the USA with thousands of people? but no pizza USE thousands of people thousands of people but no pizza

but no pizza but spell out people and then and then and then send wait before that preface this start the sentence off by saying I'm sorry if my question is not clear and that's why you're not

answering but I just think if there's anybody in the world I am pondering this philosophical question if there's anybody in the world is gonna know the answer to this question is this guy yeah wouldn't you guys agree

that this is the only guy maybe who can help me yeah yeah I was thinking about this a lot yesterday just can you imagine a town with thousands of people and no pizza in the USA I'm sorry

if not clear how about this so he's gonna respond soon I'm sure I fucking hope what he said to get it now there you go pizza emoji

that's gonna lock it down Yeah, I think it would be so funny to like But whatever A 15 second second tick Okay Yeah, look at He lists every single

He lists every single Street town in the world That has no pizza Because there are towns Because there's towns That have like maybe two or three people And there's no pizza there But that doesn't shouldn't count

Maybe I think the problem is just That like dominoes probably can go one town over Yeah Yeah That's what I was thinking too You know But yeah that doesn't count though

But thousands It doesn't count. No, that wouldn't count. That wouldn't count. It has to be a thousands of people town with no pizza in the town. No pizza in the town. No pizza that is accessible, but it could be in the town over. Yeah.

Okay. Can you message him back and say that? Clarified that it can be in the town over. It can be, the pizza can be. Just one. Just if to say, okay, no way. Say this. Say, say, if the town was the only thing that existed in the world,

there would be no pizza. So if the town, if a town detached from the earth and flew into space, it would be a planet without pizza. Uh-huh. Just to make it specific that we're not talking, it couldn't be the town over. Yeah, yeah, you have to say that, all of that. Does he follow you guys? No.

No. I don't say that. Why? What? Who wasn't it? It's not going to make any sense to him unless you clarify it to him. It's okay. Here, we'll handle it later.

He's probably working on his video right now anyway. He probably already started. I know. We're probably throwing a lot of wrenches. in this thing now. I feel like I could probably find like an old picture of my dad

and get him to you know, figure out where it was. Yeah. That's, yeah, that's what he does, but we're trying to figure out

if there's a town with no pizza. Maybe we just, maybe we scrap this pizza joke and we send him a picture of my dad. It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's a curious question. It's a real philosophical idea.

I just would really like to know where my dad was in a picture. What picture? Maybe you could like a, whoa. Like a bed and switch. A bait and switch? Oh yeah,

yeah, yeah. I'm bringing him in with a pizza. I am. And then we're going to switch it out and make him show me where my dad is. And then when he says, no, we can just say like, okay, never mind, can you find this picture of Joe's dad? Mm-hmm.

Can you find the picture? I know where the picture is. We're going to follow the Google Maps car around all day with this picture of Joe's dad. Yeah. And then he's going to tell me where the Google map is and then where in, that's honestly probably a good idea. Yeah. A picture in a Google map.

Wow. Can you find me? They'd probably censor it nowadays, though, those fuckers. I've seen the Google Maps car before. Me too. I'm on Apple Maps on my old place in Boston. We've talked about it. I think it was 2-11 Harvard ad.

Is Apple Maps different than Google? Yeah, definitely. But they both do the car. That's crazy. I've posted the photo. I've sent it to Jubio before. What I love doing, I love going on Google Maps and looking at a place over time and seeing how it changes.

Can you do that? Yeah. You can go back to like 2007. Damn, I didn't know that. When did they start doing the Apple car, the Google car? I think it was probably 2007 because there's a lot of my hometown that you're buying an iPhone 14. Don't buy an iPhone 14 on the company card. That's not right.

Unless you want to give it to me for my front facing videos. That's true. Nowadays, movies are shot on phones. Yeah. Tangerine. Tangerine one. Pretty much the only one I can think of. Tangerine 2, the orange.

Oh, there's the. They're unsane. Yeah. Was that the Sotaburg one? Sodaberg. Well, I think actually he might have done a few. Was that other one also? I don't know.

That's the only one I saw. That one sucked. Dude, Soda Berg sounds like the town where they have no pizza. They only said out. Oh, my God. Sotas and burgers. Oh, my God. Sotas and burgers.

That's genius. That's the only thing in Soda Berg. And if you try to put, dude, that's the problem. If you try to put pizza there, they fucking kill you. Yeah, they kill you. They fucking kill you. next to that's what happens.

And check this one out. Fatality. Whoa, a little combo. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty cool. We'll get to all of them

by the end. Yeah. And you can change them if you want to. Yeah. But not right now, but yes. Is there you have any suggestions

in general? The first one, the like, Boeing. Oh, yeah. That's his favorite one. I guess that one's just quick, but that one,

that one, you can change that one. Why? Why are you telling them to change it? No, why are you coming in here? I'm saying that one is like, that one is like,

everything that he does. I think that one is ripe to be changed. Well, you know that we have like a bunch of space. Yeah. Oh, okay. I thought you were working with, uh, I mean, there's eight easily accessible ones.

Yeah, you don't want to be changing. Yeah. But, you know, it's like, what, you want another one? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Um, oh, fuck yeah. Yeah. Fuck yeah. That one's good. I would be,

we got, everyone already knows about all the listeners already know about the sounds. Yeah. You're just going to have to You're ruining everything right now. Sorry, guys. It's okay.

It's all right. You got excited about the sounds. I think the listeners are going to be thrilled that I'm on the episode. I have to imagine. This is what the listeners are like when I'm on the episode. Bill!

Pink one. That, I honestly, I wish we started out every episode with the with the Kern Crave Zombie Nation. Do you not get maybe some copyright strikes for that? Oh, we haven't yet. We will because of how often we use it. You just got scared by a dog.

I don't think copyright changes how often you use something. I think it's the amount of time that you use it for. We will use it so often. I think on YouTube, it just gets auto-infected. If it hasn't yet, it don't ever will. It don't ever will. It don't ever will, I think. I'm pretty sure it don't ever will not for us.

what do we we have a list today yeah so with this list is an analog list it's not found on any computer chill out for a second I'm excited because this isn't this I just recently I got this in my mailbox this morning from corporate yeah you can see right there it's got a first class first class mail they don't need a stamp for that yeah no they put it in themselves well I took off the stamp in the address part because I don't want people to know my address, obviously. Stamps don't have addresses. They stamp did.

Whoa. That's how rich the people at corporate are. They print their own stamps with every address in the world. Holy fuck. Wow. That is crazy. Corporate America, man. I know.

What they can get away with, we can't. Why can't you reuse stamps? That's a good question. You know what? Save that. Save that. Hold on to that. Save that for the end.

Because basically what. corporate has sent me here is I guess that they're not so happy yeah with some of the directions our conversations have been going they think that we've been talking too much about music festivals candy yeah that type of thing and they wanted to kind of steer us and give us a little more direction on stuff to talk about that maybe we don't talk about all the time okay so they just send us some like I guess some of these are like questions do we show the go I mean I can show it briefly I don't want to give them all away because we're going to talk about them, but it's, they sent these. I mean, some of these are questions. Some of them are just

like, you know, phrases to talk about. But I guess we're just supposed to talk about as many of these as possible. Great. So, this is interesting. Honestly, it is an interest. It is interesting because it does, uh, it's a list. I mean, it's also, it's also. We haven't been doing enough list. They are so mad that we do, we have basically not touched lists in a long time. This is, uh, this is also, we, we haven't seen this before. This is straight from, this is just opened. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what's on this list. Yeah. I mean, I mean, I I have no idea. One of them.

Okay. Was it the last one that has one? No, it was the, it was the second one here. Okay. That I'll just read out and then we can maybe we can just start the discussion. Let's start from the top. Let's take it from the top. From the top?

He clearly wants to do the second. I want to do the second one though. Well, we can get into the second one. We can get into the second one second. Did corporate say to jump around? They said to jump around. Jump around. I'm just going to read this one first.

That this is maybe, this is more the type of thing we're supposed to be talking about on the show, I guess apparently. Okay. But anyway. is Tom Holland cringe? Is he cringe? I don't think he's not, but I don't think he's based either.

I don't know. I think he's probably somewhere in the middle of the road, you know? I don't think he's like... I think he's cringe. You think he's cringe? Look at this picture that we just got pulled up on the screen. I don't know. He just kind of looks like a young boy there. I think Tom Holland is.

not cringe, but a young boy. I think Tom Holland... You think he's young? I think he's a little cringe. Okay. He's starting to look like you to me for some reason. To me? Cool.

Yeah. For the listeners at home that Jubio put Tom Holland's face over Joe. Young Tom Holland. Yeah, I know. Pre-spitey. I mean, he's probably cringe here because he's a young kid. The thing about Tom Holland is he's a little bit cringe, but if you're Spider-Man, you're supposed to be. That's true.

That is actually really true. You want him to be a little bit because if he's... What was that noise you just made? What was that? That was crazy. Sorry, I saw something on the list. You want to be a little cringe because if you're talking to MJ, he doesn't want to be like spitting game. She's a model and he's a nerd.

She's a total babe. M.J.'s a babe, and he needs to be cringe. And his powers are what attracts her to him. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. So we just put that. You crack this wide open.

Yeah, you crack that wide open. That's why I'm glad we have you. I'm ready for this. Thank God, because Caleb would be talking about this for hours. I'm going to give my God, my God honest.

You're bringing the hammer down. Yeah. So you know what? Maybe you can drop Monnier on, on this one here, which is a conversation topic that I'm glad that corporate has brought up because, honestly, I think I text Caleb and Cameron this every single day.

Pizza Friday versus Taco Tuesday Wow It's Pizza Friday for me Pizza Friday for me too What about you? What are you thinking? See, I'm going to say

Taco Tuesday Because Taco Tuesday I think is a little bit more special And I think it's a little bit more I think pizza Is an any day thing

Whereas Taco Tuesday Kind of has some Right There's like a solid platform for Taco Tuesday to stand on. But pizza Friday. Pizza Friday.

It's Friday night. You're watching a movie. You have pizza. Maybe you got a Caesar salad. Look, I love pizza Friday just as much as the next guy. Well, clearly not. And think about this. The next two guys right here love it more than you.

Think about this. In your head right now. Imagine, okay, pizza Friday, you get a taco pizza. Taco Tuesday. You get a pizza taco. They're going to say, what the hell are you thinking? You can't order a pizza. That's a Spencer Shea.

That's some Spencer Shea shit. Yeah. that's some Spencer Shea shit that they're going to get your eye carly ass out of here get your eye carly ass back to spaghetti Saturday get to spigattle where she was from spielto spigattle and I mean now that we talked about I'm glad we I mean again we got we're still this is still a heated thing but this is a heated debate pizza Friday I should hope the pizza is a heated thing yeah we don't want cold pizza on pizza Cold pizza is for pizza Saturday morning Yeah Pizza breakfast Which I'm not even going to lie to you guys I didn't know there was a pizza Saturday morning involved

It's Monday I'm literally going to have cold pizza Monday later today Because I had a pizza Friday last night on a Sunday night And what do you think about that? That's pizza Friday That's sauce Sunday It was no it was pizza Because there's pizza sauce Sunday is syrup Sunday

It's got to be It's syrup Sunday And if at night you have pizza and watch a movie It can be pizza Friday on a Sunday night Serial Saturday. Serial Saturday. I have cereal Saturday. I have cereal most days.

Serial Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Yeah. And I mean, I guess that honestly, I mean, we could go on about pizza Friday versus Taco Tuesday. I mean, let's be crossing these topics off. Yeah, we would be going, we'd be going, we'd be going on it for the whole episode. And I don't think that that would be good. No. So why don't we just go breach this next.

Let's just dive right into this next one. Could the next Jared Fogel be lurking in playing? because you think about it and it's like Jared Vogel he was popular he was and it's so crazy that he was popular he was at the club he was at the club

he was at the club and he was walking up to these bitches saying I'm going to give you that foot long yeah and guess what those bitches were kids that's fuck that's not right that's disgusting oh my God I never even thought of it that yeah that's disgusting

Jared Vogel, he kind of flew too close to the sun because he tried to be... Yeah, somebody's son. Yeah. He flew too close to somebody's son. They were on the same private jet. Yeah. And guess where that jet was going? Subway headquarters.

Yeah. They knew. They helped him. Subway helped him. He tried to be a Ronald McDonald that wasn't a cartoon. But he was a clown. He tried to be a real guy. And he was a fucking clown.

He tried to be the honeycombs guy. McDonald's is smart because they do a bunch of different. At all the different, like they have the different ones on the benches at the places when you go. Yeah. What do you mean? And it's not just a guy. There's the Ronald on the bench at McDonald's and you sit next to him and you take a picture. That's the same guy.

That's the same guy. But each one is a different, he goes to the different ones every time. He just comes to whichever one I'm at. Yeah. He follows him. He likes me. Loki, a little suss. A little suss.

Actually, that's exactly what Jared would do. Speaking of, I mean, we've probably talked about it before, but speaking of McDonald's and Jared. We don't have to do them all. You can jump around. Super size me, Jared Fogel is just, they're interviewing him at a damn school. Yeah? You don't remember that scene and supersized me? Oh, yeah, I do you remember that.

He shows up to talk to him about eating healthy and he's just like, well, I'm just here to talk to the kids. He said, dude, there's so many pictures of him at movie premieres for like Puss and Boots and stuff. Oh, yeah. He just went to every movie premiere for the kids movie. You used to have like a big slide show that you would do. I would do it.

You would do that slide show. I just found a ton of pictures. It's crazy. When I was a, when I, after that happened, I went to a subway like two days later. Yeah.

And bare and waist, there was a tumble wheeled a row. In the back of the subway, there was a, yeah. Two days after it's just a guy just screaming at the top of his lungs. He opened up like the bread like bakery things. Yeah.

Oh, why are you? He's the last of all rations. There was a, there was a framed picture. of that guy and Jared. Yeah. On the back wall.

And I was like, oh, did you, did you hear what happened? And he went, oh my God. Can you imagine being a poor? You should have offered to buy it off of him. I was like,

dude, can you imagine being like, yeah, like a guy, a guy who you have, you have no life at all. You work at subway. You dread going to subway every day.

Yeah. It's, it's, well, he owns the franchise. When did you're talking about just that I'm saying, I'm saying you're a person who works at Subway.

Uh-huh. You're not this person. I was a junior in high school. I was a senior. I was only three. You dread going to your job every day because it's like a fast food job. You don't want to do this shit. And then you see the news and you're like, like every day for however long, someone's

going to come in and say something to you about Jared football. You even want to be there. You're seeing hell of people. In that situation, just cut out Jared's head put a different celebrity in it. Yeah. In that photo. that photo that everyone walks in they're like oh my god someone else is going to believe that a different guy has pants that big that don't fit him Shaquille O'Neal but he's the pants are too big

is he wait it's him and the guy standing in the pants together no is one leg one leg whoa pretty cool uh is science going too far yes next question what's the next hot meme okay see that one is that one's actually air to think about because the next fashion fashion is also just going to cross out fashion yeah we talked about denim oh yeah we did talk about fashion um but the hot next hot meme is scary to think about because obviously with the way the society is going right now every single one of these memes that comes out now is based on a national tragedy damn is that true the orange smoke the orange smoke that became a meme that was a meme that was a meme posting how orange things were baby cronk and lizzie

just going to say in terms of the next hot meme, just keep your eyes on the finale of the mass singer this Sunday. Okay? Do you have inside knowledge? I have a feeling that there's going to be some serious memeable content. I bet there'll at least a gift or two will come out of that. That is a producer's dream. I have a sneaking suspicion that cucumber princess is going to be revealed, okay? Okay. And let's just say she's not that great at singing. Oh, man. Cucumber I think I have a feeling, though, about the next hot meme. I'm thinking that it's likely going to be an original drawing. Yeah.

Something that someone is drawn in the terms of when people draw a face that's crying or a lot of we try. Okay. Let's try. A frog.

On the back of this we'll sketch it out right now. So you tell me. Ooh, wait, we should do the thing where we fold it. You know that game?

It's like a mad magazine folded? No, you know the game where you're a corpse. Yeah, go ahead. You draw the head. Well, you draw the head. It's going to be.

This is the next meme character. You can't look at it. You can't look. No, of us look at each other. I'm just going to draw the neck and then you draw the body and then you draw the legs. Yeah. Okay. Who draws the head? He's drawing the head and the neck. Oh, got it. Why is he drawing it? I want to draw it. Okay. Okay. But in the meantime, I mean, well, I think that also, hold on. Give us the other two pages, though. No, you can just take that. Topics. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Chill. I'm freaking out. But I still want to talk about memes, though. You don't? I do. Oh, okay. Okay. All right. Then keep going. Sorry. I'm sorry for interrupting because we got into this drawing at that. Okay. Don't stop looking at it. No, stop looking at it. Okay. We had image memes. We had gifs as memes. Then we got video memes. What is next, I think, is memes that are interactive and their games. Web 3.0. It's completely a controllable meme where you someone posted on Twitter and you have to play through the whole thing in order to get the meme, the joke of the meme. Okay. That's crazy. Like it looks like maybe it's like a first person walking around.

First person salamander game. And it's like a meme and it's like when you have to go, when you have to go to the bathroom and the meme game is you're running really fast. And you control it to go to the bathroom. And you're taught and it's a salamander. I don't know why I'm married to this right now, but it is a salamander for sure. A salamander could be a good character. Yeah, because think about it. Pepe in the future.

That's true. He's a frog. What's the next logical step? A slimy little salamander. Salamander. Yeah, you're right. Can you hurry up with your drawing? He's shedding his skin.

He's shedding his skin, maybe. Do salamanders shed? I don't really know much about salamanders. Me neither. Did you know that they used to think salamanders were fire monsters? They are. They are fire type. If you look at Charmander, he's a charred.

That's true. Well, I think they used to think that they were in. Okay, was Salamander's a topic? No. Now we should have been. But I don't see. Okay, go ahead and draw it right here. All right, okay.

And me and Joe will talk about what topic is next? All right, yeah. I guess now we can move on to a topic while he works on that. Salamanders was not a topic. I heard salamanders. Yeah, it was not a topic. I mean, unless you want to keep talking about salamander. I don't know what we should follow.

Let me look at the other page here. Let's see what we have. Let's see here. Do we need superheroes in our society? I think that the question with superheroes becomes, why should they be the judge of what's right and what's wrong? That is so true. is so, so true. But do you think that maybe if someone's superpowered it was to know exactly

what was right and wrong? See, my dad once told me we were playing a little league game and I was praying that we were going to come back and win and my dad pulled me aside and he was like, why would God choose to let your team win and not the other team? And I feel like we're so conflicted in this world. So we're bringing God into this now. Well, God is the number one superhero of all time. That's true. He's the main superhero. He's the main superhero, yeah. And what if the superhero was anti-God? Damn. It would be low-key scary.

That would be more of a villain, I feel, than a superhero. It depends on your thought about God. I'm just saying that things are so polarizing right now that I don't think a superhero would necessarily help us. Okay, wait, no, you know what? Here, I have a question for you. This one, I think, you're uniquely equipped to answer this one here. Okay.

What can music fans expect in 2024? Oh, wow. let's just say I have a sneaking suspicion that Adele is going to drop some serious heat I think that Do you think pianos are going to make a comeback? I think 37 is probably coming out That's me guessing Adele's age wildly

She's probably a little bit younger, 35 Does she name her stuff out for her age? The first couple, they definitely were I don't know anything about Adele to be honest with you What was the second question you asked? Are this piano's going to come back? Piano's have been back. Really?

I don't listen to the radio that much. Have you ever seen a producer flip a sample? Yes. Often with piano songs. Oh, my God. And he's doing it on the piano too. Do you think we could see a new genre emerge in the next year? I do feel like country and rap are fusing in a major way right now.

I thought that already happened. It's happening even more now. It's happening again. Let's just say there's going to be some more country songs with some nice beats behind it. I feel like my theory is I feel like we're going to see a new genre that's not even two genres fused and it's just something completely new that no music has ever been like before.

Ringtones. Ringtones. Ringtones are probably going to be huge again. People are going to start having ringtones again. I don't know. I still have a ringtone. You still have a ring tone. Do you want to hear my ringtone? Yeah. Actually, while you're pulling up your ringtone,

let me ask you about this. Cousins. Cousins. That's all it says. That's all it says. You're very close with your cousins. I am very close with my cousins. I love. I love all of my cousins very deeply, but I'm not, like, super close personal friends with them. Yeah. Well, I lived next to all of my cousins growing up.

My next-door neighbor was my aunt, and then a little bit down the road was my other aunt. So I had five cousins down the street and four cousins who lived next door. Yeah, that's very weird. You're just literally close to them. Yeah, literally and figuratively very close to my family. This is my ringtone. Okay. Let me hear it.

Is that the minions? It's minions. It's minions doing panda. And I did it like a long... You get that every single time you get a text? It's when I have... Because I got it like in college and I kept my phone on, like, vibrate for a long time. And then now when I wear headphones, it like popped up.

I'm like, oh, yeah, you know. Why? It's kind of a good one. does make me answer. Oh, my God. Where's the new meme? We have the meme. This is the next meme. You guys, cash your checks now.

If you're listening on audio only, I want you to open up your phone right now. I want you to take a screenshot. I want you to start posting this with captions and make this catch on as the next viral meme. Wait, hold on. Let's workshop one right now. Hold on. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Wait. When your teacher says the homework is due. and it's this. Yeah, that's pretty good. Wow. If we break down each of the components, see, I was going for kind of an angry guy.

Yeah, so you've got an angry guy with a sole patch and steam blowing out of his ears as the head. That's the angry guy. And the body here is, I think, size double G breasts. Okay, what does it say on the stomach there? And that is a tummy rocker that says, come shot with a dollar sign in the S. Okay. And she also, let me just point out one thing here. Yeah.

Also has one finger and one thumb on a really small little spaghetti arm. Like a crab. Yeah. And then let's see these legs here. Yeah. So I just tried to go with something simple, some legs with lines on them and socks. Okay. I like that.

That kind of bases it in reality. And those are not, that is not hair. Those are lines. Yeah. Well, it's a drawing. Leg lines. Wow. Those are leg lines.

This guy's the leg lines. And here, and let me just, here's the next topic here. Let's just combine these two because once you hear what, once you hear them combined, it's going to make a lot of sense. I'm sure corporate won't mind that. How to deal with termites and woke culture. Ooh, how to deal with termites. Same way.

When you have termites. Blow them the fuck up. Yeah. With fire. Wow. That's right. No, I would say for termites, I'm, for me, I don't. I think peanut butter works.

Peanut butter. Peanut butter definitely works. For termites? Because I'm the type of guy. I don't like to look up an instructional thing on how to do something. I'm a handyman. I do stuff myself. I'm not going to buy fucking furniture from IKEA and follow the instruction manual.

I build shit myself. So when I'm getting rid of termites, I'm not going to go to an exterminator say, how do I do this? By the way, exterminator, exterminator, termite, they work with the termites. it's literally a cash flow circle in your house they put eggs in there so that they have to come back

but anyway basically I'd probably use a straw to suck them up yeah and same with woke culture that's a good sound effect just get a straw a slurp

for the sound board yeah I want to eat that yeah I don't think that would actually be so good of a sound can we live record and put stuff on it

no no it's not that I know how there might be a way but I'm not gonna try and figure it out can you do some like Reggie Watts loops on it. I can do this.

That's a record scratch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But how would you deal with woke culture? See, in my opinion, I don't necessarily have many opinions that are more important than like what really matters to people. So like, you know,

like none of my, none of my takes on anything. so i'm okay with it if you know if if if if wool culture tries to take away like you know videos then i'll they want videos to be gone oh man well then i'm going what do you mean if they try to take away videos like if they try to make if world culture takes away videos if they try to make videos not okay i'll get pretty upset said about it. Yeah, I like videos. I love videos. I really love videos.

Yeah. Oh, well, in woke people when you play a video. That's right. Screaming? Yeah. What is that from? They're just screaming. It's from D&D. It's from the Dungeons and Dragons. And it'll make sense to do you subscribe. I just got it from YouTube. Yeah. Yeah, it's a thousand people dying at house fire. No, it's a sound effect. And so let me just transition that last question. So I said I would deal with termites and well culture using peanut butter.

Let's just get right into this. Another question from corporate. Is peanut butter based your cringe? I used to here's I. You were setting yourself up for a little. I thought about this before. I used to think it was based. Nowadays, I think it's cringe.

Wow. I just did a spit take. I didn't hear it, but I saw it. It made it. It was a completely silent spit tank. I feel like that water bottle has been here for a very long time. No, I bought that this morning.

Okay. I did the spit tank, but I had too much water in my mouth. Oh, man. That was more like a squirtle water gun type spit take than it was a funny movie one. You need to press.

That's my bad. I did not know. No, I've never, okay, I've never done a spit tape. No, no, we're not doing spit takes now. No, no, no. This is my water and I need it to survive. I'll do it on the shelf of technology. Don't do it on the shelf of technology.

I can do it in any of these directions. We're not supposed to have spit takes in here at all. Yeah, that was obviously, even one is too many. That's one of the rules. And here is our next topic from corporate rules. I fucking hate rules. You hate rules. I hate rules too. That's why I give a spit take.

Joe likes rules. If we don't have rules, what are we? What are we, what are we following? Rules don't have to be bad. If we don't have rules, what are we following? Yeah, I don't know. I wouldn't know where to go, man. Rules don't have to be.

What about the leader? Yeah. You are the leader. You can make, I make my own rules up. I do what I, I do what I want to do, but I live. You're the leader now?

I live by a code. I'm the leader. I'm not the leader. I'm not the leader. You're not the leader? No, you're not the general either. You don't see me as a leader? I don't see me as a leader.

You don't see me and follow my lead? no damn what whose lead do you follow probably gods yeah mean me too but I thought I was like second I think he's the one leader one true leader but there's like here's a question one true leader I need a two leader because we're having a little bit of an argument here

yeah okay I think maybe this this question we can really dig into it's just discussions I guess can be debates but what uh what was it like long ago I like thinking about that what was it like long ago

question really fucking hate thinking about that what was it like long ago you know you think about that you think about what it was like long ago then you start to you start to yearn right i feel like i yearn for what it was long ago did you know back in the day before they figured out how to make animals right or animals figured out how to evolve correctly uh they when the first animals the first multi-cell whatever's they were just like things they weren't even they were like sub-plant. They were like, they were like circles that would sit on the ground. They were just pieces of fucking shit. They would just sit in the bottom of the ocean. It would just be like a hot dog or like a pancake and it would just sit there and if food went by it, then it would

survive. Yeah. And if it didn't, isn't that? You're talking a long, long time ago. That's what he means by long ago. What was it like long ago? I was sort of thinking like 1910 Ellis Island. Well, let's talk that. Yeah. I mean, we can talk about that too. That's the beauty of discussion. Well, as you guys might know, I'm fascinated by old maps. Really? What is it about old maps for you? I love, if it's a place that I'm familiar with, so New York, I got it with Boston after going to school there, and I kind of have it with Los Angeles a little bit.

I love to see that the streets that I walk on today still existed and served a purpose way back when. That's kind of magical, isn't it? It is actually very magical. That's actually, it's pretty cool. What was it like back then, now? So New York changes a lot. New York is kind of built around this rapid change. Rapid transit, too.

Until historical, you know, societies and landmarks started being made. People were tearing shit down willy-nilly. Whereas Los Angeles kind of has more of a steady, like, uh-huh. Okay, here, okay, here. I'll say all this, get me out of here. We're going to do, we're going to do a few more. We're going to, because there's a few I want to get to here. Are we doing a speed round now?

We could do speedish round. Speedish round. I mean, I want to do, I just want to get through all the, I'll just go in order here. I'll skip some of the ones that, you know what, no, we'll do a lightning route or we're going to do all the rest of them. Okay. I'm ready. Okay. Can I get the third paper?

Yeah, the third paper is very important. Okay. Okay. So, I'll just go down the line here. Yeah, let's just get ready to. I'd each give a quick answer. It's not to be so quick, but quick. Joe, please, quick.

The streaming wars. Whose side are you on? Oh my God. Thank God we didn't have. Thank God this is in the lightning round because I'd be here talking about this all day. Let me get into it. Because obviously I'm on the side of the streaming. Yeah.

For me, it's like I always am kind of aligned with the young, the scrappy, the new kids on the block, the people who really want to, like, show the fat cats what's for. And that's why I am throwing my way behind a little new service that some people might not have heard about yet called Max. I like Max. Max has scrappy and Scooby. You're thinking boomerang, but they also, Max also has it, though. Also on that.

They also, it's on both. There's a boomerang section on. There is a boomerang section. And it's called boomerang because it keeps you coming back. They have old Tom and Jerry's as well. Wacky races. If they got wacky races, I'm. I'm there. I'm there.

They have the one with the evil guy. Next topic. Wacky race. That's every wacky race. Whatever happened to chivalrous men. You just got to look a little bit harder. Yeah, that's right. They're out there. We're out there. We're waiting. There's three on your screen right now.

Yeah, that's true. Well, let me actually, let me throw something out there. Maybe, you know, because people always complain that men don't hold the door anymore. Yeah. Right. Ever think about nowadays, you can get a job holding a door at a hotel or an apartment building. So why would you do it for free?

Or you can do it pay me. Well, I was going to say some people do it for free out in front of the McDonald's. Yeah. Actually, they do it on commission. They don't want to be doing it for free.

They do it on commission. Those people work for the McDonald's. That's why they have a cup. Okay, here's one. In a past generation, in a past generation, guys like us would be rock stars. So go ahead and discuss that.

I mean, it's not really up for discussion. There's still time. That's the thing. Some guys would say that the podcast, the podcast boom is the rock stars of today. Yeah. And you guys, I think, have, you guys have, oh, wait. No. Yeah.

I would say that you guys have carved out this, like, incredible audience and this incredible, like, loyal fan base. Wow. Who holds you up as if you are rock stars. What is going on in Ukraine? too much don't even want to know next that sounded like a sound effect

water monsters oh I saw a few you've seen some yeah I wanted to see one of the two that Caleb was talking about a water monster attacked a man oh yeah that shark yeah sharks are water monsters

the orcas are now also the orcas pyacan orcas orcas or attacking is that the avatar one yeah why are you up kissed what a movie whatever happened to cowboys

cowboys are still around But they are wearing little dangly. That's a really good answer for a lot of stuff. Little dangly things in front of their face calling themselves Orville Peck. I don't know if that's a cowboy or not. Is that the tattoo guy? Maybe. That's Oliver Peck.

What's the guy from Inkmaster? Don't know. Orville Peck. He's like a gay cowboy who sings. Oh. I don't know if he's gay. I don't know if it's a he. Okay, here's one.

This Trump bullshit. We'll see. We'll see how it goes. Yeah. We'll see. All right. What's wrong with doctors nowadays? They are too focused on the medicine and not focused enough on creating a relationship with the patient.

I would say that they really stepped up big during COVID. And I would say that they're probably still reeling from the effects of it. My doctor almost sent my medical bill to collections just because I forgot to pay it. Wow. A lot of my bills are in collections right now. I paid it today. And today was the day it was going to go to collections. A lot of mine are in collections right now.

And guess what you do? You just ignore them. You ignore them until they break down and cry calling you. What would you do if you saw someone drinking nut milk? What kind of nut? Yeah. Doesn't specify. I mean, I don't know.

I didn't write these. Nut like human semen or nut like almond. You can kind of see what corporate was trying to. You under. They're trying to spark a funny little, a funny little, a riff. Yeah. A funny little riff. Let's not give them what they want.

Yeah, we're not going to engage here. Why are so many people getting injured lately? Probably because I'm hitting them. There's someone slipped it. There's a lot of people that, there's people that try to come by the office. They try to, I know there's a bus stop near it, but I think that they are attacking my fortress. I go out with a broom. I haven't had a serious injury in a while.

Me neither. Genetics. It's fine. Facts, yeah. Let's let it happen. What I'm going to do when I get home. Ooh, I can't discuss that because it's erotic. Pizza on Monday for me.

It's erotic in a tuna fish. I have some tuna fish. Uh-huh. You have it with you? No, at home. And then I'm going to have another one of these guys. Okay, nice. We can't endorse that on the show.

Art and culture. It's ice tea. Art and culture, y'all. Art and culture, y'all. Love it. We'll just ice said, y'all. Refidi is art to me. Next question.

Would you eat a rock? I ate one as a kid. Depends on how porous it is. Could someone with ice powers defeat someone with fire powers? Like, could the ice freeze the fire or what the ice melts on... Is it like a Voldemort Harry Potter vibe where they're just going at each other straight up? Let's see. It says someone with ice powers and someone with fire powers.

Because I think ice powers could kill the fire guy if he snuck up. If he snuck up? Yeah. You're probably right. Rocks could put out the fire though. Is chewing gum based? Chewing gum is cringe. Because it's bubbles.

I think it's... Well, bubble, you don't... Not all gum is bubbles. Really? I would say chewing gum can be... I have something of a, what's it called? TMJ. Well, yes, but also I have like an oral fixation thing.

Whoa. I eat a lot of like plat, like this. You chew, you're a chew. Oh, yeah. I take these off of bottles. My little brother used to do that with cans. Like at the top of a can off. The top of like a coffee cup.

I have a finger in fixation, I guess. Yeah, because you put your finger in my butt. Touch stuff a lot. Okay, what's this next one? The future of TV. That's again. And dead was streaming. Yeah, we covered that.

I hope it's good. Would you adopt a baby from cringe parents? Fuck no. Okay. See, I kind of just want my own, I want my kids to be my own, my own making. No adoption. Robots. Cringe.

A little scary. Is injustice real? The game. Injustice. What to do when you are visited by an angel? I can't even discuss that. See what the town would be like without you. Wow.

Film fan. Yeah. I would trap it personally. In a cage. Keep it in a jar. I would sell it. Is there hope for nerds? No.

If you're a nerd, I'm sorry that we were doing the lightning round. I know that. But if you're a nerd, it is over for you. It is so over for you. Nerds have had a little renaissance recently. And I think it's, I think it's kind of coming back to the, to us jocks. I think you're right. Would you guys say, am I a nerd or a jock?

You're a jock. Yeah. That's cool. Okay. We're going to do actual lightning round now. Okay. One sentence answers. Okay.

That's kind of what I've been doing. Would you rather live next to Squidward or SpongeBob? My own house. Squidward. SpongeBob's a little more fun. No, wait, Squidward, Squidward. I choose Squidward. My own house in the middle of Squidward and SpongeBob.

Is there a special place we can go to hideout? The hideout. Twirling. Twirling around? Just twirling. Twirling is cringe. Are drugs getting more evil? Yes.

I think they're getting a little more evil. Yeah, fent. Fent. How to survive in the four? Forest. Shelter. Water, food, shelter, air. Yeah, Maslow's hierarchy of needs kind of place.

That's good. Needs. Needs. Needs. How precious are they? Yeah, exactly. How precious can they be? They're metal.

Why are we treating? There's metal everywhere. Let's take off the baby gloves and let's treat these things with some serious throwing. What can you say at a sleepover to gross everybody out? My booger has a boner. I just shit on my shit. I just shitted out a booger that was the size of a turd. I just fucked my shit in my bag.

I just fucked a booger. I just fucked a booger. Yeah. There we go. Perfect synthesis. I would say so-and-so's mom was naked. Yeah. So-and-so's dad.

I saw so-and-so's dad's dad's. Oh, dad. Yeah. I saw Kyle's dad's cock and it had a booger on the end of it. Dad pissing a booger off his cock. Elves. Elves in general? Yeah, elves.

Santa, bro. Santa bro. That's my answer as well. How to deal with teachers who assign hella too much homework? I think we discussed this. Okay, we covered that. Would today's generation consider Homer Simpson a good father? Hell no.

So Homer, the Simpsons. Lightning round. Lightning around, Joe. Early Simpsons. Homer have heart. Magic. The gathering. Should it be a crime to lie?

Yes. Whatever happened to cartoons. They're on the TV. They cuss now. How come Thanksgiving is only once. year. Oh, my, I wish we touched upon that earlier. We could have really...

History. We could have really gone the fuck in on that. Go in on it a little bit, then. Okay. So, if you know the history of Thanksgiving, like I do. Not many people know where Thanksgiving comes from. It comes from a little guy called Squanto. And Squanto pulled up.

This is what they don't teach you in school. Squanto pulled up with the turkey and the cornucopia and he said, we should do this every single day. But these fucking whitties were like, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, of course. And they never pulled up again. So we were supposed to have Thanksgiving every single day. My family does Thanksgiving at a restaurant. Really? I did that one or two times.

So we could do that. I do that sometimes. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. But you know what? And I'm hell of thankful. a thing, here's another, here's another little thing about Thanksgiving, okay? If you are a Canadian American citizen, guess what, two thanksgivings. Yeah, you just have to travel them.

That's a trick question from corporate. Also, they wanted me to reveal the truth. You got to be, traveling, though. Did cavemen have stores? Cavemen's had caves. There were some trading, there's definitely some trading barter. Yeah. Uga-Buga. Paper straws. Come on, man. Are these things still around? They had disgusting. dang. Yeah, me when I go to a woke restaurant. Yeah. Well, you need to dip it in water first.

He's sucking penis at the restaurant. See, I'm okay with the paper straw as long as it's something that I'm going to drink quickly. No. Yeah. People don't talk about this, but paper straws. That's what I like a paper straw for. I'd like a paper cup. I drink my beer.

See, why don't we put this wax coating that's on paper cups inside the paper straws? Too complicated? Holy motherfucking shit, Joe. I think you're right. Yeah. Too complicated? You have just created the greatest straw. in the movie, the new It

movie, when it opens the first one, it starts and the little kid, he makes a boat out of paper and he covers it with wax. Paraphin wax. Yeah. And it's like, maybe that was a kid who was going to do that to Straws and he got eaten by the clown.

And that's the origin of why paper straws sucks so damn bad. And he eaten, I-T-E-A-N by the clown. He got eaten. I-T-E-A-N. He got E-T-N by the clown. And now he can't make a...

Oh. I just got it he can no longer make he can no longer make pennies off of his wise discovery okay just a couple we are just blowing every single thing is it wrong to blow something up

yes no if it's a controlled demolition yeah no I would say it depends on the context okay fair don't do war context matters and explosions is the age of Mario over yes no I think there's probably a sequel coming whoa all right and then I got the last one here

this is we got there We went through these two pages. We have the third page that corporate sent us. And this is the biggest one we have yet to talk about. Reddit. Which is... Joe, why don't you go ahead and explain

what's going on with Reddit right now? Something about the API. So Reddit is now... The subreddits are down because they don't want to let people use third-party apps in order to, like, access the website.

Say, What? Third-party apps are no longer. Is our subreddit blacked out right now? Can you black it out? Yeah. I think we should participate in this. We need to participate in this blackout.

What is this? What are you looking at? What are these numbers? Destiny's a game. He just likes graphs. Oh, it's just all the ones that are. Yeah, the blacked out subredits. Oh, my God.

Well, you go ahead and black cars out. See, I was pretty upset because of that. I don't know how to do it, but once I, learn how to do it? Oh my god. Our slash shower thoughts is down. Our slash filmmakers. Our slash shower thoughts deleted my last few shower thoughts. So I'm not too mad that they're down. Yeah. I think a lot of these subreddits deserve to be shut down forever. Like this one right here. Women's streetwear. Did how am I going to know that nature is fucking lit? Yeah. Our slash atheism has been blacked out. Oh my God. Oh my God. Yeah.

This is unreal. This is unreal. All right. Well, I'm glad we were able to shed some light on this. Yeah. The NBA one is no and it's the finals today what the fuck our slash martial arts has also been taken down r slash me i r i'm fighting a big fight today um so our slash wait our slash asian beauty has been is been blacked out oh my god when does it end when will it stop holy crap it's crazy how much stuff people like so what everyone should do now is go and check out um home planet and watch some of the funny home planet video that just Joe is half of Home Planet that makes his funny videos.

Yep. You've seen Alex on here. What's HomePlanet's Twitter? Home underscore underscore Planet. Okay. So when you're on the Twitter homepage, you can just add it to the end of the URL. It says Twitter.com.com slash home normally. Yeah, so you can just add.

underscore, underscore, planet. Wow. Pretty cool. And it's on YouTube and there's a website, too, I guess, that I had forgotten about. HomePlanit Video.com. Look at that. Guys, if you have any design notes for our website. You can send them over to Joe.

and speaking of design notes I have one for you right now Joe why don't you add a section on your website that says live show oh shit yeah yeah because this guy right here is going to be joining us along with

Phelib and Alex and Pierce and we are all going to be doing a sketch show of funny comedy should we maybe watch some home planet videos in like mystery science theater of them it's going to be a little field on I believe July 14th, I can buy tickets at 30 p.m.

Swagpoop.com slash shows and maybe eventually on the HomePlanet.com if they get their shit together. Pierce does not have a website. I think he might. I feel like he should have one. I think he definitely does actually. World. Biggest R&100% of call. Go onus. It's going to be really fun. It's going to be

great. You're not going to want to miss it. And if you don't live in New York, you're probably going to be traveling here to power. You will be taking the Amtrak as Sella train. Do we know how? as fast as you can. Do we know how they're selling the tickets? I have no idea.

It looks like somebody just bought 10 tickets for $192. I really need this to go well. I really need the cash. Oh, and Julia, what day is our shareholder meeting? The 23rd. So next Friday. 23rd at 6? Are we doing 6 again?

Is this a, what's it called? Payam. Shareholder meeting. Is this a Patreon one? Yeah, no, this is a, this is on YouTube. Oh. You're going to be on YouTube. You're going to be famous.

Uh-huh. I can get some thumb. nails if you want. Do you have anything else you want to you want to plug besides home planet and our show that we share? My Twitter. Jubeo 3 on all socials. I made a TikTok video for him and he didn't even acknowledge it. I made a TikTok promo for Jubio. Yeah, just follow home planet. That's the only thing I care about. Yeah, that's right. That's the only thing I care about too. And buy tickets to that and buy tickets to the show. Yeah. We're going to make hell a new, hell a new viz. I've written so many sketches this week.

Patrick's been damn Mark Twain. I've been sending them to everybody, and I got no notes. He's been going to give you notes today. I've gotten zero. I'm going to give you notes today. We also wrote something. None of you guys read it. When did you send it?

Well, I said, I'm going to read it today, and you said you shouldn't read it because we have to rewrite it. Oh, okay. All right. And let me say something. I'm probably the only person who said, I'm sorry I didn't read yet. I'm going to read it today. Is that true?

Yeah, Cameron, you are. I have to look at this. Nope, you don't because it's too late. I'll read your things though, Patrick. Okay. All right. Well, anyway. Bye.

Thank you so much for having me. I mean, I'm going to be able to be. Oh. No. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. It's a little. We'll... ...notes... ...their... ...with... ...their... ...the...

...the... So, I'm You know,