Podcast About List - Ep. 247 - Welcome to the Dojo

Episode Date: June 21, 2023

In light of several events in our personal lives we have decided to use today's episode as a learning opportunity in the best types of martial arts that there are and even try some of the techniques we learned on each other. Watch the full video for this episode youtube.com/@PodcastAboutList Buy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

It's a bug. Where? Oh, you're fucking... Don't even say it. Let me say it. I know. I saw that. It is a...

Okay, one year ago. Do you guys remember what happened? I remember. Bottle through the way. Heineken. A low-class, cheapo bottle of beer. A hipster beer. A hip-to beer.

A hip-to beer. Dutch, too. A Dutch piece of shit. Some Dutchman. The flying Dutchman threw a Heineken. Yeah, wait. Do you think of... Crash my window? Slam! Millions of particles of glass. If I'd been in that car. I probably would have my carotid artery sliced up and down,

tick-tac-toe. Okay. You think about that, though? Maybe it's not Antifa. Maybe it's the Flying Dutchman? I have considered every option. Okay. And Antifa's like that... But I thought I was safe. I put a bunch of co-exist bumper stickers on my car. Bernie bumper stickers. Put the Bernie back.

Yeah, dog, dog on bird On bird What? Instead of baby on board Dog on bird Dog on bird Because they like Because it's like vegans

They're like animals I put a dog on bird sticker on the back It's my original sticker You can buy We can maybe sell the sticker It's a pretty good idea Baby is a bird

Something like that Baby Bird But It didn't save me They knew the make And the model And they knew the license plate Which by the way

Our license plate also got stolen last year. So we have a new license plate too. So where are these fuckers even? I must have a GPS track or breaking bad style. Maybe that's why. Maybe they have their spreadsheet. They're like, okay, here's all the law abiding citizens that we have to harass and ruin their belongings today. Let's see. Well, oh, we haven't done this license plate yet. Let's do it. True. You know, they deal this one and make it a, like put it on a killdozer and then get them in trouble. But honestly, knowing them, they probably have a checklist where they do each license plate at least four to five times.

That's true. They stole our license plate. Now there's a bunch. We get photos. We get tickets all the time. Photos of a gray Accura driving down the highway. You know what actually happened. They did.

They broke your window. They checked off your license plate. And they were like, wait, I know how we can get them again. We'll just take the license plate. Fuckers. Then we don't have. Then when it's unchecked. So I wake up yesterday.

Yeah. I'm getting poked in the face by my wife. Poked directly in the face. It's the weirdest way to wake somebody up, first of all. So I'm already pissed as fuck. She says, somebody smashed the side view mirror off the car. And I just said, all right, I'm used to it. This is how fucked up it is.

I'm used to it at this point. Your car is such a piece of shit. You need Mr. Beasts coming in. Now I have a pink hand mirror from Walgreens duct taped to the side of my car. It doesn't do anything. I can't see anything out of it. I have to lean. My face has to be in the steering wheel to see the angle that I would normally see with

the side view mirror. It is crazy. I know what it is. My life's over. Have you considered using robotics so that the side mirror can be adjustable? Of course I considered robotics. Okay. But I barely know how to do that.

Yeah. Your car though is like, like maybe it keeps getting attacked. Maybe it keeps getting attacked because the hood is being held in with zip ties. That was the other thing. They sabotage it trying to kill my wife on the highway. All over. What happened? They tried to kill my wife.

how they undid the latch suspiciously a day after I was doing something with the hood of the car but they must have gone in after me and undid the latch and forgot to close it and then she's driving on the highway 120 miles an hour the window the hood flies up

crashes the front window explodes on her and her sister and my dog whoa Jesus and while they were driving down the highway you need to call and they had to call somebody and the girls are not very good on the phone no no Hey, what are you wearing? Yeah, so now I'm in a situation where I think that she's cheating on me with some mechanic. But she's a trying to make conversation.

Exactly. That's the first question most of the time. Yeah. What's your favorite color? Yeah, that kind of thing. What are you wearing? What's your favorite color of car? Yeah.

No, then you shouldn't come fix this one. No. But yeah, dude, I just don't know if it's worth it having a car for me. It's getting so fucked every single which way up and down. You need to get a smart car, dude. No one's touching a smart car. That's not. No, people are going to pick up a smart car and carry it away.

Yeah, exactly. Go put it on top of a light pole and have it to bounce there. I think about it every time I see a smart car, I think. I could, from me and like five other people could probably just take this. And not even a really strong guy. Yeah. Just no, just five people, period. Any five people.

Any gender. It just could be picking this car. Me. A smart car could fit in my living room. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I did not even consider that. It would be terrible, but it would fit. Say your pickup truck gets.

There's only so many places a pickup truck can be. A big parking space. Walmart. A big parking space. And parked on the line. A big garage. That's where I would look first. A smart car could be almost anywhere.

Yeah. They could put it in the bath, a public bathroom somewhere. Imagine a smart car right there. It would fit easily. It would fit so easily. Maybe that's why it's so smart. So compact. And I'm having an idea.

What? We should get a car. I want to get a car for the business. Can we get a car? It doesn't make any sense. But I just don't want my car anymore. I want to, You want to get rid of it?

Yeah. You should sell it for scrap. This happens one week after my in-laws say, hey, guys, to all the kids and their significant others, say, hey, guys, we're getting rid of our old car. Does any, we're getting a new car? Does anybody want this old car? And I said, no, I don't want this car. I have a car already.

And now I want it. Okay. And now, wait, say that again. Can you say it like, so say you just say it again? So they said, does anybody want this car? We're getting a new car. Does anybody want this old Honda CRV? And I said, I said, you know what?

I already have a car. And then what happened? I don't need it. And then what happened? And then they smashed the mirror off the side of my car. Is that a new addition? Why did you lie? That's not even, that wouldn't even happen.

That has nothing to do with Larry David acts. I don't work. I wasn't like, no, I don't want the car. What's probably what he would say. You did. You did. You did. I didn't say like, no, I don't want the car.

I didn't say it like him. That's sign folk, too. I don't want the car. I didn't say that at all. Damn. I just wanted to show it off. I don't know if there's going to be an opportunity today. There will be.

He will do something kind of rude and antisocial. My older brother suggested the Wilhelm scream. That's gay. That's gay. Sorry. Hey, man. Not happening. It's not happening for you.

What I was looking like before. before I was trying to think of something new to add and I was going to add I couldn't find a good moment I was going to add epic fail I'd like that more than a Wilhelm scream the Wilhelm scream is what what's the what we do that when someone gets hurt yeah I'm an ass credit post now

when someone flies out a window what are we using that one it'll it'll like you could do sponge bob my leg that's a good one that is a good one that would be good if somebody gets like almost a strict level up on the yeah that's the same thing but just better. My like decimating my brother's suggestions.

Get the fuck out of here. Fatality. Yeah, see, we can keep that one. But we would have done my leg there. Yeah. Yeah. That's because we would have been like, we insulted this guy so badly.

He hurt his leg. Yeah. Holy shit. But besides that, had an amazing week. Watch the departed again. Well, let's talk about the elephant in the room.

The what? The submarine. Everybody talking about the submarine in here. You guys don't know the submarine? Oh, yeah. I'm kidding me? Buckle in. I know that once I get, I'm going to get into this story too late, but like the people

that I saw, what in God's name are you on about? Okay. So basically, kind of annoyed me. Okay, it annoyed him. So we can't do it. Can't do it. No. Basically, there's this service where this is, this has been the big news the past, the past few days. So we're definitely too late to it. But I, but it's, I'm kind of obsessed with it right now. There's this, the service where they, these rich people they pay to go down and look at the Titanic in a homemade submarine. They're the service where these guys built a submarine and they take people down to... Where is the Titanic crashed?

Really, really far down. Like, you should not go down there. I mean, I know home in a submarine. I don't know. I don't care. The ocean? The water? Isn't it in the Atlantic?

It wasn't a lake? No, no. Oh, man. This time. But this, you should see a picture of this submarine. It's literally homemade. They've got parts of it from Campers World. There's like a video of this guy talking about it.

They control the submarine. with a knockoff Xbox controller. Okay. That's how they use it. They control it. This is cool. It looks like 20 million leagues under the sea. The submarine is completely...

That's the controller they used to control the submarine. And it's lost right now. The people are almost certainly dead. They've either blown up from... It's lost? It's gone. Yeah. They can't find it.

There's people... Somebody passed. It costs $250,000 per person. Who are these people that... They're just rich people who like the Titanic. Got one. And they're gone.

They're almost definitely dead. And there's like a bunch of videos that have been surfacing of like the past like year because they've been doing it for like a little while. Yeah. And this is like I guess not the first like there. There was the thing of some guy being like, yeah, they took me on it. It was pretty cool. And then I was sitting on the and the boat like watching the control panel.

And then they they lost the submarine for five hours and they turned off all the Wi-Fi on the boat so we couldn't tweet about it. Wow. And that happened like a year ago. And there's all these. videos of the guys who invented it being like, like, yeah, there's no seats in here. There's just one window. And check it out.

This is what we used to control. It isn't this cool? And being like, yeah, I got this part from like the junkyard. I hate it. I'm on the side of a small business here. That's what I'm saying. Everybody's saying, why would you ever get on this submarine? Everybody's saying this is insane.

That shit is so stupid. Being obsessed with the Titanic, who gives a shit? No, you're wrong. That's completely wrong. This is the only problem here is the submarine. Yeah. No, but what I was going to, my point is, can you imagine. you, first of all, building a submarine that works at all

enough to go down to the Titanic 2.3 miles under the ocean. Yeah, that's not bad big. And to do it any amount of time, any, like, you do it a bunch of times. You built it out of parts that you bought at the store. You're not a scientist. You went to the store and you're like, oh, this handle looks good. I guess I'll buy this handle. They're doing code name kids next door, two by four technology.

A million dollars per trip. Well, wait. I think I just figured out where the Titanic thing went. Where they go? The delightful children from down the lane. Oh, yeah. They struck again. They definitely took it out.

But the inside of it, it has no seats. That's what it looks like. It looks like that. Look up the inside, it looks official, man. Wait until you see the inside. Yeah, wait, go back up. Go back up. That picture right there.

There's no seats. It's just a tube. There's a toilet set into the floor. Can you shit in it? You can shit in the toilet. Well, that's how they fucking died. There's a shoot the shit out into the fish. Yeah, they died in the submarine.

They died because somebody crapped and they, It smelled so bad. They destroyed the thing. Well, I don't know about you guys. When I get stressed out, I need to take a really stinky shit. And I would be really stressed out if I was trapped under the ocean. Where are they leaving from? It's an impressive story, though.

It's like, where do they leave from? Is it a... It's a boat. Oh, here's the other thing. No, like what, like... Where do they port? Yeah, where do they pour? I don't care.

I don't care. I'm just asking you questions. I don't know. We're trying to learn about this thing that you said Europe's, you're completely obsessed with. I don't, where did they... Okay. Anyway, the cool thing that I was about to say that's better than where they came from is that also you can't get out of the submarine from inside. You're bolted in.

And the only way to get out is if a crew member, if you come to the surface and they completely unbuilded the submarine. So even if these people who are lost got to the surface, they would just suffocate inside of it. Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah, so this is not the best. This submarine, I'll say it, it sucks ass. It's crazy. Look at it.

Look at the guy who's driving. He's not even driving it. It's remote controlled, but he just sits up there. He looks out the window. Jesus Christ. I think it's cool, man. I think it's so cool. I don't know.

I feel like if you get in that thing, it's just like the Titanic. If you get in that thing, whatever happens to you, you deserve it. Think of that's true of the Titanic. Yeah. 100 and something people. Actually, maybe it was more than that. How many people died in the Titanic? I feel like it must have been more than 100, but I don't know.

We're boats big back then? I mean, the Titanic was quite large. Titanic was Titanic. How big was it? Look up Titanic death count. It must be pretty high. I'm going to guess. If they made a whole fucking...

I would say, I would say, 500 is my kind of safe guess. I'm going to say, 623. 1,500 people? Oh, no. And there were 2,240 on board. Huh. More than 1,500? Only 1,500 died, I guess.

I mean, if you get on that fucking boat. Kind of suspicious that exactly 1,500 died, don't you? I think it's inflated, straight up. Well, yeah, I mean, there was that, you know, life was worth more back then. We're worth less back then, actually. They had little kids going into factories and shit and putting their fingers in machines. Life was worth more because you live shorter. There's less people and you live shorter.

No, it was worth less because they didn't have like the phone or the computer or anything. Yeah, what do you do all day back then. Well, that's what I was thinking. Okay, so I watched it departed the other day. Uh-huh. And the, you know, the sex scene and the departed? Jubio, pull that up. No.

The sex scene in The Departed, they start fucking, and they play... Comfortably Numb. Yeah. And it's like, what did... I just... Did people used to fuck to, like, classic rock all the time? What do you tell? Yeah.

That's awful, man. They would have, like, the radio on. They wouldn't be able to control what it is. There is no pain you are receding. Yeah. Honestly, I can't imagine fucking without hyperpop being in that dick. Uh-huh. I need my hundred gex on.

Play Bill Withers or something, if you're going to put a sex scene in a movie before they had a Mario. I saw something, I saw like this video, this dude, like breaking down what like high-fi audio equipment they had in movies. And I guess Matthew Damon's high-fi set is so incredibly expensive. Oh, yeah, the one that she plugs her headphones in and listens to the CD. I guess that thing is like. you know how like audio files get all like insane about like oh like there's too much hiss on this or yeah i guess that is like uh no hiss so that would that's like i think it was like a 15 000 dollar 15 000 like high-fi set or something and back then that was a lot of money

it's like jump change now yeah so much i'll probably have to spend or replace my mirror at this point yeah that movie is so good though the departed yeah five that's the best corsage one of the best Well, it's top three. Yeah. Good fellas is obviously. I'm pretty excited for his new one. Yeah. What's the new one?

Chuck Taylor, too. The flower moon. The one about, um, you see the trailer? You should watch the trailer is really good. Really? Yeah. Who's in that? Everybody.

I'll watch anything he does. Leonardo DiCaprio, Robert De Niro. Scorsese, I'll watch anything he makes. He's in the movie this time? Well, he's behind the camera. Oh, well, he's not in the movie then. He's around. We actually don't know yet because all I've seen is a trailer.

Yeah, that's very well be in it. He could be in a movie. They'd be cool to have like a cameo where he just walked by in waves. That's what M. Night Shyamalan does. Really? Basically. Yeah. Yeah.

That's the twist. That's the real twist there. He's always like a UPS driver. He has the best cameos. Yeah. In signs, they, they, he plays the guy who killed their mom in a drunk driving accident. He's a bad guy usually. Like an old.

That's such a sick thing to do as a director. It's the best cameo ever because it's, they like, they don't tell you that that he's that guy yet, but you know that that guy exists or whatever. And basically the whole family. he was walking by and they see him in a restaurant and they all just look at him and go, is that him?

Amnichama on? Yeah. At his point, Amnicholol, is that him? And then you realize it's like, they mean that he's a drunk driver,

but it's really good. Wow. I think I would do that if I was a director. It's so cool. But I'd get, I'd have, he does a slap shop commercial in the new,

his newest one. I would be, I would be with the babe. He's the slapchopper. He's Vince Shlomi? He makes up a slap shop type. Vince offer? Commercial.

That was the craziest thing ever. I've talked. talked about this before, but just like the slap shop guy, he slapped and chopped chopped a woman with his mouth, he chomped. He did a slap chomp? Yeah. Oh. He bit. No, he got bit.

Oh, well, that's the complete opposite. Yeah, then he should be slapping and chomping her in defense. But it was like his story, the slapchop guy's story was that he was a failed comedian and then got paid to do I would say he's an extremely successful, whatever. Yeah. Well, he like made

a movie, he made a movie in the 90s. He made a movie in the 90s called The Underground Comedy Movie where he like does blackface and stuff and like it's like Oh how do I make like the most offensive movie And then he made So then after the success of Slapchop He made inappropriate comedy

Oh I know inappropriate Which was supposed to be the sequel to underground comedy Oh okay I used to I never watch it but I would always see it on Netflix When I was a kid and who was it? It's Rob Schneider That's good man It's a yeah then the whole

The premise of that movie is like all it's like vignettes but it's all like through it's like oh well that's that's what's happening because of this app honestly i'm sick of movies having premises and if i ever made a movie i wouldn't have a premise you should do like some dama 95 type shit see that's a premise that's a premise i thought that was a crazy rule you just did a premise not a rule the only movie rule that i would follow the rule that i would probably follow the rule of using a camera to film it and be I wouldn't even do that. All bets are off.

My whole movie would be doing this. Uh-huh. You can make a movie every single day if you do that. That's what Apple should do instead of their damn goggles. They should make a camera that works with your fingers. I agree. Finger square camera. Here's a apple.

Apple. Knife. Nope. Hey, Apple. Here's a question. How come the slogan of Applevision is in become the apple of your eye? Think about that. That's pretty good.

That is good. This guy should be Johnny eyes. Or have an apple of your eye. The apple of your eye The apple of your eye The apple of your eyes Is what it should be The apple for your eyes

That's what it should be Tim Cook Phone I phone I Mac I etc iPod I eyes

I paid eyeglasses Like from super monkey ball I paid for Apple Vision Yeah whatever happened in the eye They say call Apple Vision Pro

And also this doesn't make any sense You put on the headset And you see stuff and it becomes an apple. That's their whole product. That is not it, but you could probably make it. Well, what's the product then? It's a type of gogg that makes you see the world through Steve Jobs' eyes.

Yeah. But he only ate fruit. Yeah, exactly. And he was a bit of fruit. Just for a year. So every single food that you eat when you wear the goggles. Taste like fruit. No, it doesn't taste like fruit, but it looks like it.

An apple ton. Is that why they're called apple? Uh-huh. Because Steve Jobs ate fruit Yeah I think it was well before He was a fruititarian But it could have been that

I don't know He was a fruititarian Try to cure his cancer With his fruits People always say that But I don't Who care I think it was probably

That in the last year of your life If you know you're gonna die of cancer You're like fuck it dude I like fruit How many fruits can I eat Yeah He's probably eating Like if I spent the last part of my life

Eating sunflower seeds and beef jerky Because I knew I had chemo Or I was gonna die of cancer And the chemo wasn't working, would everybody say like he tried to cure his cancer with beef jerky? Yeah, I would say that. You would say that? You would say that? Yeah, actually, I would say that. I would start that

rumor, I would say that the only, the only thing that he ate towards the end of his life was the new spicy, sweet chili, Doritos, Jack Lynx. Yeah, and, but it's just because I like them. It's not because I was like, oh, this is going to cure cancer. The nitrites are going to cure the two. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. The guy liked grapefruits and

watermelons. Yeah. Maybe if he got grapefruited before he died, he wouldn't have died so sadly what does that mean great and grapefruit you never remember that video where the lady shows you how to give a blowjob with a grapefruit first of all my disgusting is not fit into the end of a great no way that is just she's going to need a lime for me at that point and it's going to sting yeah and it's going to stink and even then it's just going to sit right under the head right it's going to be like that the juicer thing yeah yeah exactly that's the exact like process like that's like but you said you put your dick through the grapefruit and then I'm still I put my my mouth on your cock at the top wait that's this guy's dick is fitting through a whole grapefruit all the way through what the hell's wrong with this guy needs to go to the hospital yeah he's got an elephantitis of the penis yeah it's disgusting disgusting too because I mean it's like grapefruits kind of have that uh that's not the fruit I would want to be yeah the taste of a grapefruit is kind of like she better have that in my head it's disgusting too because I mean it's like grapefruit is kind of like she better have that in my head it's just

taste like you ink. Grapefruit kind of tastes like when you accidentally break a pen off in your mouth. I used to like grapefruit when I was a kid. I used to eat. You put your sugar on it though, right? Tons. Yeah. It was worse than plain grapefruit as like a kid. Yeah. It's like, you're like,

oh, what? I thought there's going to be a big orange. This fucking bullshit. I wouldn't even taste like a great. It's also a sexual one. Yeah. It's also kind of an expensive fruit. That's why people think it's sexual is because it's pink and it looks like a damn labier. It does. No, it doesn't look like it.

What kind of labiers are you sitting on hanging out around? A big old, big one. A big round one? A big round one? With a rind. Yeah. That's the giz. You jizz on the outside are in a perfect circle.

The rind is actually all the cum that girls have. Girls don't have it. They weren't born with cum. Girls don't come. They can get it installed, but it's a very expensive procedure. Yeah. I heard about that. I heard about that shit on LinkedIn.

You didn't hear about that. Oh, do you have a LinkedIn? I never did. You never did? I had one for a little bit. Yeah. I made one for the podcast. I made one.

Yeah, we got one for the podcast. I think I might either made one or logged in. My LinkedIn is, it says, it says co-founder at Sullivan the Frog Enterprises. And so I get a bunch of emails all the time that are like LinkedIn. It's LinkedIn. It's like, hey, new job opportunities for your position, co-founder. One day we should go through our like, uh, one day we should go through our like, uh, our employee directory and all that stuff

that we have that we just made for no reason. Oh, yeah. This is all private on our notion. We have like a... We have an employee directory on the website. But we also have like a business... We have a secret one. We have what do you call that?

A mission statement and all that stuff that's just sitting in our notion that nobody can ever read. Yeah. It's pretty cool. We should put out a handbook. We are a real company. Yeah, it's true.

We are a publicly traded company. We don't have any employees, though, do we? Yeah, we do. We have just contractors. We just have one contractor and it's Jubio. We have two contractors. And patches. Wow.

Just wow. Yeah. One of them really looks like a contractor, too. The other one, not so much. Okay, today we are doing. One guy looks like he knows his way around a contract. Yeah, exactly. Today.

No. Yeah, if it wasn't already obvious from the, you know, the fucking title of the episode and video. that that's the apple of your eye today we have something so special for you guys which is um have you ever been assaulted yeah by who parents growing up most people don't bother with me because they can tell that i'm i'm it brother and sister i do think that happens with me yesterday i brought the dog to the dog park and there was a bunch of skaters around and i was fantasizing about the skaters all attacking me at once and me killing every single one nobody fucks with me except for younger kids

because they don't know. I do have a crazy situation yesterday. Most of, most adults don't want any smoke, but like sixth graders. I went and played basketball and with Noah and me and him were playing basketball, torching him, by the way. He stepped in shit and walked home.

He tracked shit through my apartment. He had a full hour-long fail where I beat him at basketball, then he hurt his ankle, and he stepped in shit on the way home. But anyway, besides the point, we're playing basketball. Yeah, why are we making fun of him? He had the worst day ever.

And a bunch of kids are riding, their bikes and their scooters in the middle of our game, right? And as if this wasn't pissing me off enough, like a four-year-old kid rides a scooter so slowly, like it took them like a full 90 seconds to get from one end to the other. And as he's doing it, he keeps saying, watch out for me, watch out for me, watch out for me, over and over and over again. And I wanted to kill this kid. Children are so annoying, man.

That's a horrible thing to say. watch out for me make your parents should say that about you watch out for him yeah this kid hey watch out for and say it once and that means that the kid had the wherewithal to realize that he was in the middle of something where he could get hit he was do what he wanted you to do was chase him and tickle him i guess i'll do that next time yeah there was this little kid that would uh run around he lived like behind the skate park in nashua and he would like run up and down the ramps to like try and get people to hit him so that like his mom who had crazy anger issues would come over and try to fight the skaters.

It was so insane. He would like run up and down the ramp and then like look at you like while you're trying to like go down and like try to like run into you. So you'd have to like dodge him so like no one would go on the mini ramp. And then there's this one time he like almost got decked out. And then some kid just went like, yo fucking move. And as like we heard his mom like over there just go like, what the fuck did you just say to my fucking son?

And then she ran over. And while like she's coming over, the little kid like ran away and we go you guys their idiots and then ran away homophobic story how's that homophobic you made you try to hit a little gay kid and his mom got mad i didn't try to hit a little gay kid i was just doing little kid voice little kid sound like this kid was gay and you were bullying him at the skate part bullying you were bullying a little he wanted to be included no he was trying to play with you guys trying to be included you think he was trying to you think he was trying to be excluded he should be executed he should be executed because he

It was annoying. Next time a kid interrupts my basketball game. I am going to run at them. I'm going to get you. Because if their parent comes and is like, did you say to my kid, I'm going to get you. It's like,

what are you talking about? Yeah. Are you fucking crazy? Your kid is in the middle of my basketball game. I just said, honestly, you should keep him away from me because I could accidentally kill him.

I could accidentally get him. No, I'm not saying I'm not capable of getting. If I was dribbling the ball towards him, it could kill him. He could die. He could die. He's a regulation NBA basketball

that's 55. It's pretty easy. It's pretty easy to like fake fake an attack on the kid Yeah, they just run away Yeah, you just like They flinch at anything All you have to do is frown

You just like you're You like shoot like a half court shot And like aim it towards the kid Yeah And just say what's Yeah Yeah Yeah

I thought he was playing sorry I thought of my teammate I'm shacked in a fool Anyway He was the only other person on the court With a shirt Yeah I thought he was on my fucking team

Yeah Yeah he's undersized for his position Yeah Yeah, Mugsy Bugs or whatever. Yeah, but he's a court general. Is that who it was? Mugsy Boggs, yeah. Yeah, okay.

He was like 5'5. Yeah. But he could dunk. 5'5. Dunker. Yeah. So today, if you ever find yourself in that position, we're talking about martial arts that you can use to destroy basically anybody. Yeah.

Martial arts to destroy a child. Yeah. For mine, I decided to look around on some of the martial arts forums. There's a lot of them, and they're very, very active. And they've been active for a long time. This first one is a. post. It says, gangster rap is making a comeback. This is from wrestling karate champ. He said, Youngbloods, 50 cent are making gangster rap hot again. What are you thoughts? This is 2003. This is

the high-of-50 mania. This is the high-to-50 mania from wrestling karate champ. Who's a brown belt, by the way? Yeah. You can see. They've got a picture of a brown belt there. But he gets shut down fast. Yeah? Yeah. Voltaur says, I generally, but not exclusively, prefer music with literary depth and vocal tenure over rhythmic monotony and superfluous rhyming green face. Wow. And read that signature? Keep smiling. And this guy, so this guy, he's a pre-black bow. He's a bochadone. Oh, okay. So pre-black belt. So, yeah, he should, he should listen to the brown belt. He'd listen to this guy. Yeah. Yeah, he shouldn't take offense. This is, but here the brown belt is. Uh-oh. Everyone hating on rap. Why? Oh, my God. Location, Brooklyn. Oh,

Oh my god, we can go hang out with this guy. He's a brown belt shot band. He's a first Dan. He was in high school in 2003. This man is probably older dead now. Old or dead? I mean, anybody could be dead. Yeah.

It's not like an old. Yeah, he could be dead from karate. No. This guy is just one single post. I didn't include any replies because people are just saying what is wrong with you mostly. But this guy says, hey guys, I do not have any interest in becoming a competitive fighter. I want to become one of the most lethal human beings walking the earth, able to protect my family and others.

I want one day to be known as a walking, killing machine. Wow. Based on this info, what are the right arts for me to study? Thank you very much. Everybody, people, this guy, this is the problem. This is the problem with these forums. You come in and you say, you'd be honest. You're like, I want to become a killing machine.

I want to kill every single thing. I want bugs to be afraid of me. I want plants to die when I walk by them. And people give you nothing, dude. Yeah. So, fuck. No advice whatsoever. Yeah.

Complete guff. And they're making fun of this fuck. They give you guff and then they say fug off, which is the reverse of guff. But he sounds like a jock to me. Yeah. And this next one is jocks. How about that's enough guff? This next one is jocks versus wimps.

Okay. Oh my God. We talk about this constantly. Yeah. I mean, it's a defining social order. Yeah. Peterson style. Jocks usually are drawn to the,

fuck I made this too small. You did make it too small. No, I'm going to get closer. Jocks naturally gravitate to the something martial arts. Wimps normally gravitate to martial arts which are long on Kava and short on competing. Juby, I gave him the

GoPro. You can switch to that. Wimps will argue that the jocks on the web with the jocks on the web about which martial arts are the best. But the wimps will never face the jocks in an NHB match to prove the argument. This is because, deep down, the wimps know they will lose to the jocks and lose big time. Look into your camera.

And lose big time, says this jock. But then somebody responds, and I want you to tell me if you think this person is a wimp or a jock. Okay. Here, wait, go to the, highlight the Google site. Press a button. This is Edmund Blackadder. Doc, doc, doc, doc, do you think he's a jock? No, no, no, no. He's a whim.

Knowing from the show, he is a total wimp, but he gets jocks to do his bidding. And he says, I stand between the darkness and the not bright. And he says, is that because jocks can't handle real martial arts and must limit themselves to the rules limited ones? I'm more of the opinion that real martial artists spend their time training, not trying to prove how smart they is on this here interweb thing. Then again, their entire sites dedicated to the angsty wannabe who thinks that his UFC foo will save his lame ass in a street fight. us wimps make sure we stay away from these morons and actually hope they do try for a submission when we roll makes it easier for us to stick them good with our blades

R-O-F-L Your argument is that if one doesn't compete one is somehow a wimp I say if one only trains to compete one may hold trophies and medals but be ill-prepared for a real fight having talked to a number of real-deal people like Hawk Hicam and Mark Hatmaker

I tend to have a low opinion of the sports only let's get in the ring and see as a real man morons personally i think they and the whole pressure test your art crowd suffer from some serious problems they should be like the french and run away but the jock fires back the jock says us so he's quoting him edmund black adder and says the i'm too deadly to compete argument thanks for the example of how wimps argue but are too afraid to fight but black adder comes back strong yeah as he does and he brings a poem would you say he goes forth he brings a poem called gentlemen rankers by Rudyard Kigling

from 1892 Red Yard Kipling And the entire thing is too long To see on this thing But basically he This is the utmost song From Wimps I would say Yeah

So Wimps came out on top here Redyard Kipling wrote the jungle book Wimps wore a jot zero I don't know I don't know who Red Yard Kempling is So Wimps are a bunch of racist stuff Well that makes sense Edmund Blackadder would be a fan of him

I guess He's also a big Rowan Atkinson fan if that's his fucking mean clearly yeah uh okay and then i just have one more thing here which is from another martial arts one says the topic is has a gay guy at your academy ever make people feel uncomfortable this person says has a gay guy at your academy ever make people feel uncomfortable there's a gay guy that joined the academy i train at five months ago he's not bad for a blue belt actually has some skills and he acted like a very decent guy at first who's very cool and chill. But he started

acting weirder and weirder each time. He told everyone he was kicked out of at least five other academies before because they were bigots and felt uncomfortable with rolling with him. He posted all over social media, which academies it was that kicked him out because they were bigots, intolerance,

things like that. But now I can see why. The guy makes a lot of my other classmates feel uncomfortable too. Like, for example, when he introduced himself to everyone, he always brings it up that he's gay. I mean, who the fuck cares who you like to bang? This is a grappling class.

Stay on the subject. And he would say weird, nasty things out of nowhere while doing a water break. Such as a lot of guys he's tossing salad, a lot of guys hate tossing salad, but love getting their salad tossed. Nobody said anything and were grossed out. While the gay guy was laughing all by himself, sometimes when he rolls with people, he would have a creepy smile right afterwards or during. a role. I made it clear I don't want to roll with him. He makes me feel uncomfortable. On his Facebook, he posting pictures of him making out with multiple dudes all at once. I had to unfollow him and so did a lot of people that I trained together with.

Our instructor didn't want to say anything because he's afraid the gay guy will post on Facebook or Yelp telling everyone we're bigots. Seriously, though, this guy is just a creep in a sneaky way. It's hard to describe. I hope he leaves on his own very soon. Anyone ever had something like like this guy at their academy before and this dude had it this next guy had that. Imagine this scenario though you're you got you all get together yeah and you're in your dojo

and you're having an intervention with the gay guy you say you have to stop saying such gay stuff and acting so posting you making out with multiple dudes by the way so he's also you're all standing around him. Yeah he strikes the pose oh the music starts he likes striking the music starts one gay guy defeats

99 straights yeah movie Tarantino and you know that song That song, Frank goes to Hollywood, Two Tribes Go to War. I don't know. The gays versus the Straits. I was thinking more like

John Wick type music. Now, that song is John Wick style. They need to make that movie. Gay guy versus straight. Indiscriminately killing straight guys or straights. It's on its way. LGBT K ILL.

That's what I would call. That's what I would call it. Oh my God. That's pretty good. Yeah. Or gay Bill. okay the gay the gay guy i don't know i'm not that good at i'm not a professional movie namer oh the gay guy man like the bye bye man yeah or like it man yeah yeah okay so this person

responds with a very harrowing story this next person okay and they say here select that they say a gay guy once gave me a wedgie chuck's manhood a gay guy once gave me a wedgy chuck's manhood a gay guy gave me a wedgy. Speaking of jocks versus wins. Bro, your manhood was chucked the fuck out when that gay guy gave you that wedgy. How do you even, how do you face your family at Thanksgiving

knowing that a gay guy gave you a wedgie one time? Yeah. It's over. Your life's over. I mean, that's why you devote your life to martial arts. You leave your wife and kids.

Aeticism. Yeah, you're a monk. Exactly. And this person makes a similar point, they say, did he do that to you while rolling? This should be considered sexual harassment. Yeah.

A gay guy. What does that mean while rolling? Rolling is what they do. Yeah, I think that's like a spar. Oh, yeah. Okay. I know Ikego is rolling. He's saying that while they're doing Brazilian jiu-jitsu, this guy wedgied him.

And he said, that that should be sexual assault. I think that it's no holds bar. I'm not sure the guy should be wearing underwear in the first place. Yeah. Yeah, let that thing fly. Yeah. Just wear the, wear the ghee. Yeah.

A samurai did not even know what underwear was. That was English. They didn't understand English. I think the gay guy was revealing that he was dressed in a dishonorable fashion. Exactly. And he was exploiting it. And let me guess. Yes, the underwear had hearts on it.

Yep. It should have a bit of hearts on it. This is why many people who do Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, they don't have long hair, they have short hair. Because in a street fight, you can grab their hair and you can put it on your crotch or something embarrassing. A similar thing with wearing underwear. If you wear underwear, you're at a high risk of somebody wedging you

if they feel like it would give them the upper hand in a battle. Also, if you have long hair in a fight, they can cut your hair and it will cause psychological damage. The risk of a wedge. The risk of a wedge on the street just, constantly, 50% of the time, 50% risk. At any given time, somebody could run up on you,

pull up your Calvin-Kinds. I think I would rather be knockout game with a brick than be wedged on the street. Oh, my God. Can you imagine that video being your legacy forever? And then people are looking. And then I feel like people would have the same fervor that they have for like finding somebody's,

finding a Karen's job or something, just to find out my name and phone number so that people can break call me after that. Yeah. Like it wouldn't even be, they're not even mad at me. Yo, wedging guy doing stand-up. Yeah, exactly. It would be every single, I would never escape you. If you got wedgied in public.

You'd have to make it your identity. You'd have to start everything you'd have to be. Yeah, I got wedgy guys. 10 years from now, I'm running for president. Wedgy guy. I'm hosting some house tour show on, uh, on E&E as the wedgy guy. Uh-huh. I don't want that, man.

The documentary about my life comes. out? Whedgy guy? You find out that I, there was a, that I, you find out

it was all staged. That would be sad. That's what I'm gonna, I'm gonna do like a Jesse Smollett thing about me getting wedgied by two jocks. Yeah, the jocks came in and wedgy,

but then you find out that I actually hired two wimps to do it. Damn, yeah. That's scary. That is scary. That could actually happen. And then one last thing, there's a super troopers reference.

This guy says, call him a chicken fucker for $20. Wow. So that guy's pretty fucking funny. Yeah. That guy is fucking funny. That's it for my stuff. Super troopers.

Dollar bills, y'all. What are you doing? I don't even know. Dollar bills, y'all. What? I don't even know. I don't even know. I thought that that would make sense and it didn't.

Dollar bills, y'all. I was just being random as fuck today. That's okay. You can be random. Okay. What do you have? What do you research, y'all? All right.

So this is my, uh, slideshow about the greatest martial artists of all time. So I didn't know what to do for this. My first slide show that I made had too many videos in it and that's bad radio. So we're just going to look through all the famous martial artists that I started looking up on the computer. First one, Bruce Lee, most famous. Cool uncles wear a shirt of him. And also, I know a guy who wears a shirt. He wore a cool shirt. He wore a yellow shirt. Yeah. Yeah, look at that yellow shirt. Yeah. Next guy, Chuck Norris, the first white guy to ever do martial arts.

And he's pretty damn good. Pretty damn good at it. And he's handsome and I heard he did all sorts of things. And you know when he crosses the street, the cards like. Apparently when he does a pushup, he does 100 pushups. Yep. Then the next one, my grandpa, he does Ikeido and some other. Yep, some other martial art.

I don't have any picks of him doing Ikeido. I just have, I really only have this one photo of him. This is the only photo. He's doing scanners. This is the only photo of my grandfather. That could be Ikedo. He looks like he's maybe thinking about it. Yeah.

maybe. And then Jackie Chan used something called Drunken Boxing for his film The Drunken Master. What does that mean? And I saw that and I was like, what the hell is drunken boxing? So I looked into it and drunken boxing is the general name for any, for all styles of Chinese martial arts that imitate the movements of a drunk person. Drunken boxing is not a single martial art with an established lineage in hierarchy, but rather a group of loosely related kung fu styles in this respect. drunken boxing could also be understood as a phenomenon within Kung Fu, a phenomenon. Oh my God. That word phenomenon made me

remember this phenomenon. Jar Jar Binks is actually a Sith Lord and Drunken Fistmaster. If you guys remember that. I don't remember that he was a drunken fistmaster. Then there's an example here. If you take a look at the very opening of the film, you can see Jar Jor Binks doing like a similar

starting pose as a drunken fist thing. Okay. Which is crazy. Yeah. Yeah, the little clap there, I guess, is a similar pose. Then I started thinking, what kind of accent does Jar Jar have? Alien. Gungan, yeah, Gungan accent, but what is it based on in the real world?

Turkey. A Jamaican accent. Now, hear me out. I found a list on Jamaicans.com that said there are seven interesting facts about the Irish influence in Jamaica. the Jamaican accent shares elements of the Irish accent the Irish lived with the newly arrived African slaves some taught the slaves the English language the Irish guttural accent is still evident today

The Jamaican accent is an Irish accent Technically by that logic Jar Jar Binks has an Irish accent But let's look at it a little closer This is a list of stereotypes of Irish people now So violence, food, alcohol is a red, head hair. How's food a stereotype? Yeah, they're the worst food in the world. Food is, I guess, a stereotype or stereotypical foods

are corned beef, cabbage, and potatoes. But that's just the things they eat. Wait, what's the how's that a stereotype? Let's just the thing eat. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. They think that we eat potatoes. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Notice anything peculiar. Yes, food. Jar Jar Binks exhibits every

single one of these stereotypes. Look at this. Oh, wow. He is a completely violent man. Look at him in the battlefield. He is eating food. And look, there's Jar Jar Binks pouring himself a glass of what looks like whiskey. And also in all those photos, he has red hair. His or his ears,

Patrick. His red hair is inconclusive. Jar Jar Binks is Irish. It's inconclusive. It's inconclusive. Now that we know he's Irish, doesn't the drunken master thing? It's conclusive? Doesn't this drunken master thing make a little bit more sense?

Are you attacking us with a going on. Powerpoint comedy, dude. Doesn't this make a little bit more sense that the drunken master? Let's circle back to the Darth Jarger theory. Wait, doesn't what make more sense? Let's circle back to this Darth Jarger theory real quick. Jarjord Banks takes control of the Senate

and was supposed to become emperor. That's not a real... That's not from any canon Star Wars thing. Let's keep. Let me let me go through this. What's an emperor? It's like the president. Look at the list. Here's a list of Irish presidents. Jar Jarbanks could have been an Irish president who got Joe

Biden, Michael D. Higgins, the Irish president. It goes deeper. This is a list of U.S. presidents with Irish blood. That's most of the U.S. presidents. Wasn't Kennedy Irish, too? Yeah, he's on there. This is a post from R.S.S.C. Detailing the Hibernian conspiracy

iceberg. It's inconclusive. The Irish control everything. It's still inconclusive? The Irish control the media. What is media? It controls the people. Look right here. Media is internet, radio, television, magazines, newspaper. Wait a second. Radio. podcast Raider. We are doing a podcast. Half of us are Irish. I don't claim Irish, by the way.

I'm Irish because of my grandpa. What do you mean half of us? You were Irish? No, you would, no, because on race off, on race off. I was, I was Irish on race off. You don't remember? No. County cork. That ruins this whole thing. They're, no, no, just doesn't even remember. We'll say for now, you're Polish and African. You can be not Irish. No, I'm not. You said you didn't claim it. But I'm technically more Irish than you. No. Yeah. Fine. Well, I'm Irish because of my grandpa, not just my Aikido grandpa, but my dead one, too, and my dead grandmas and also both of my ancestors on both sides. And then Caleb is 68% Irish. I rewatched Race Off, and I don't remember anything about you being Irish in it.

But Caleb, who do we control through the podcast? The listeners of our show. That's our photo of our last live show. Most importantly, though, we control Cameron and Jubio. That's a nice picture. I don't have that picture. Through what? are drunken fists.

We do like drinking more than the other two. Also, I controlled Cameron through a mental martial art to say this. Now, Cameron, why don't you take a read of this? This isn't real. No, no, I want you. You read for your part and he'll read for his part in his text thread that we have a photo of. Okay, go. Is there a yellow one?

They should have a double-sided one of brown and yellow. No, but you want one. You want to put your mouth on the yellow saber. Read it as it's written. No, but you want one. You want ton put your mouth on the yellow saber. You want to suck down the yellow lightsaber. I want to suck down the yellow saber.

Where did I learn this mental martial art? From my grandpa. That was the other martial art I talked about earlier. So in conclusion, the Irish are the greatest martial artists of all time. So it finally is conclusive. So now it's conclusive. Okay. And there's a YouTube.

It was supposed to play automatically, but it's not even playing at all. Yeah. Okay, that's fine. We don't really need to see that. Yeah. But was it going to be? be shipping up to Boston. It was something like that, yeah.

What was it? Just that. It was, you can't beat the Irish. Oh, you should have done shipping up to Boston. Yeah, I should have done that. But that's got to be one of the most just nonsense things I've ever heard in my life. But I did enjoy myself because I like arguing against you. Yeah. Well, even though you're my Irish brother.

I had to change my whole thing because the other one that I wanted to do was, I think, probably 12 minutes of videos of a guy. this the new set should be just all i we should just do ireland yeah yeah no no we won't do that no we're not okay well we got the flag behind us already yeah that's right yeah all right all right uh now i'll let's take it back to real martial arts guys you said it's irish bullshit honky drunken fist um that we all benefit from so i've been reading a lot of old comic books from the 60s and uh you i've been reading them from scans where they scan in the comic books and they have a bunch of the old ads that they have, and they have, you know, you're ordering x-ray glasses, aren't you? X-ray glasses, sea monkeys.

Become strong, how to have a male voice, if you're a boy, stuff like that. Gun. Not so many gun. Rubber band gun. Rubber band gun. Rubber band gun. Yes, very good. Rubber band ball.

Remote control ghost is a classic one that my dad would always tell me about where you order it and it says remote control ghost and you get it and it's a balloon with a sheet and you get it in a box. Is it remote control? You just pull, you pull the string on the balloon to control. But here's an ad that I saw that was fascinating me. Ubiwaza, okay? Boys, men, I'll help you, master. Ubiwaza, says N.J. Fleming, Ubiwaza master.

Ubiwaza is the secret, amazingly easy art of self-defense that turns just one finger of your hands into a potent weapon of defense without any bodily contact. Oh, my God. Here's some other parts of the ad. Master every situation. Make no mistake, the world is crowded with antisocial enemies who think nothing of sticking a knife into the ribs

or attacking peace-loving citizens just for the fun of it or molesting boys and girls shamelessly. Was this in Spider-Man? What was in it? This was in Spider-Man. Or knocking off the side of the mirrors of somebody's car. I just would put that out there.

There is a crying need for a system of self-defense that relies on knowledge, not big muscles or strength. Yeah. That depends on technique, not on weight or size of body. That is based on simple training, not on illegal possession of weapons. And here's another part of the ad. It's a picture of Yoshi I, I weigh only 98 pounds, yet I can paralyze a 200-pound attacker with just a finger because I know Yubiwaza, says Yoshi Imanami, pretty Japanese wife of M.J. Fleming, Ubiwaza master.

So I was looking up for my PowerPoint. I saw this ad a while ago, and I wanted to do a deep dive into this and look who's MJ Fleming, what's the deal with this martial art? I made a PowerPoint about it. and then as I was doing research, I stumbled on something else and I deleted the rest of my PowerPoint because this is more important that I found that Yubiwaza has guided me to something I could never have believed. Ubiwaza 2.0. Oh my God!

By Eddie Vuittanei Grandmaster Founder, a guarded exclusive confidential course. This is the cover of a book he wrote about Yubuaza. Can we get a bigger photo of this? Is that the Freemasons logo right there? Is that the Aerosmith logo? There's all sorts of logo. This guy is also a graphic designer, as you'll see.

I can tell. Yeah. We're going to go through a lot of his book covers and a lot of stuff like this. But this guy is incredible. Eddie Wittine. That's right. We too. I think he is.

I thought that was a better name is UB. Waza. He developed Ubiwaza 2.0. Boys, men. So you can see he took it from the ad. Boys, man, I'll help you master UBiWaza 2.0. Murray Waza Clock Theory. Oh, my God. Look at his.

He looks like sub-zero there. I don't think that's him. I think that's CGI that he made because he also makes CGI. But he has something called clock theory that I've never found any explanation. He just writes it under a lot of a stuff. But he invented this art called Murriowaza, which is the deadliest martial art in the world. That is Ubiwaza 2.0. I think Ubiwasa 2.0 is contained inside Murielaza.

So I teach Murielaza the way of unlimited techniques. That's what he calls it. It was unlimited techniques. And I've been doing so for over 50 years. I have had plenty of time to research and learn all styles of martial arts. I borrowed the best techniques out there, secret or otherwise, and eliminated many pointless, complicated, inefficient, or cinematic type moves to create what Maria Waza is today. As part of my quest to design the most deadly fighting art in history, I had to scavenge what I believed to be the most efficient and effective techniques from within the martial arts universe. So he's taken every martial art and taken only the most deadly.

that's what I would do too. And he also has unlimited techniques. Unlimited. Unlimited. Unlimited, deadly techniques. Literally unlimited. Wow. Here's one of his diagrams.

He has, I've not, I'm not, I've taken all this stuff from only the free samples of his books on Amazon. I ordered one of his books, a hard copy that I'm going to get next week. I'm really excited about. And even the free samples, there are probably 50 diagrams that look exactly like this with this exact density. So for people who are just listening, it's a human body. There's a bunch of numbers on it. It says IAA insertion attack areas. And then there's a bunch of arrows pointing to different insertion attacks.

And it's all, I cannot read it from here because the TV is too far away from me. But there's, I like, there's so. Move the TV. It says no shoes between toes is one vulnerable area that you can attack with an insertion. If somebody has no shoes, you can insert your finger into the web of their foot. Yeah, I think you can put your finger in between their toes and it will cause damage to them. Um, yeah, Muriel Waza system, Ubiwaza target holes. So these are holes on the body that you can target with your finger.

Because Ubiwaza translates to finger technique, by the way. Okay. So these are the holes you can attack with his finger. What is the name of his art? Okay. So Mirio is just a made up word. I think so. Yeah.

Threat pit, uh, clavicle pit, you know, all this. So you can put stuff between people. You can put your fingers between people's fingers between their toes. these are the holes that you can attack with. That's just an example of insertion attack areas. Can I just say it sounds a little bit, I don't mean to be offensive. Sure. It sounds a little bit to me like tickling.

No, no. Okay, you'll be completely wrong. Maybe this will clear it up if we do a little bit more. You put your fingers in their armpits and the bottom of their feet. No, no, it's tickling. It clearly says insertion attack. Look, right there. High level is the penis.

That was a little sensitive part of your body. Yeah. Yeah, well, it's just certain to attack. And with one finger, you're tickling somebody. It's deadly. whatever. Keep going. Okay. Keep going. Here's some of his other book covers.

This is the one I order on the left. Muriel Waza, the Way of Unlimited Techniques, written and illustrated by Grandmaster, founder, the deadliest self-defense system in history. He also has Muriel Waza, the way of unlimited techniques, arboreal locomotive hands, body language projection. And he, which,

where is this, what this book is about? It's about arboreal locomotive hands and body language. projection arboreal meaning trees yeah and body language meaning body language so here's the first page of his book legend victimology noun the study of the victims of crime and psychological effects on them of their experience that is if they survive the assault oh my as a muriel was in your primary goal as it relates to self-defense is to learn special body mechanical techniques and special concepts designed to enhance your power to increase your capacity capability

and ability to survive beyond an attacker's primary intent to do you harm and do so by eliminating the initial assault in any evolution or progression of the attack thereafter, thus anti-victomology. This manual is designed in such a way as to enhance your efforts in developing your own individual specialized

TDP, total defense plan through hundreds of unique drawings, secret concepts, charts, medical implications, strategic body mechanical techniques, and hand contortions. And I did, this...

He's on some... Naruto shit. He's literally this whole book, in the free sample, is all diagrams of hand motions you can do to stop attacks. Okay. Here's some symbols he put in for arboreal locomotive hands projecting common symbols. Rattle. Back and

forth. Where's E.T? On the top, the first one on the... No, that's a rattlesnake. Oh my God. So your hands are going to make these signs. For example, stop or stop and think or danger keep-off or quiet zone and all stuff like that. He also has some

some warnings here for compromised organ malfunction and compromised glantular malfunction. It's potentially lethal security personnel related. You can see he has some security personnel warnings for EMTs and the legal system. You're supposed to make these hand motions. Yeah, these hand motions could cause compromised organ malfunction. So you just have to know that before you go into doing these. And here's one of the hand motions. This one is called what?

Willow branch? the willow branch and the willow leaf none of them have names but I could see there's also there's literally 50 of these they're almost identical I'm gonna do what I think this one this says that you need to rattle

each hand yeah in a kind of a right angle motion so you I would rattle like this and then bring them up and then do this so try to attack me try to attack me Patrick

stop you're supposed to be you're supposed to be psyched Psychologically... You didn't even look at my hands. You just touched my chest and I heard a full way. It says there the front hand is sending the message stop and think. Oh, okay. All right.

Stop. No, that hurts. That is not... You told me to... And honestly, making that rattlesnake thing, it made me want to attack you more. None of this is working. Okay, well, maybe... Now, but here's my idea.

Try to attack me. Okay. See, that worked a lot better. That worked a lot better. Here's your issue here. I'm zooming in here. Okay. Allow assailant to fixate on your locomotive hands.

Fixate on them. Okay. Wait. So you got to do so. You got to maybe say watch my hands first. Watch my hands. The willow tree gives us hope, a sense of belonging, and safety. Stop.

Furthermore, the ability to let go of the pain and suffering. So let go of the pain and suffering. I don't care. To grow new, strong and bold. Maybe that's just the brood tree. Ow. Stop. It actually hurts me.

A.L.A.'s puffing and bold. blading coupled with adept BLP techniques will absolutely and unequivocally convey subliminally to any observer the following variables. One, an unknown capacity, two, an uncertain capability, and three, an obvious ability. The aggressor will subconsciously react to your BLP and interpret them as an overt warning of an imminent threat to their continued health and safety, as well as force them to rethink the original purpose for their attack and or POA plan of attack by injecting their emotional state of being with overt uncertainty.

Maybe, maybe I'm just immune to this. you might be okay let's let's move forward and let's let's talk about attacking a little bit fucking shit i'm sorry clearly the defending didn't go so i'm sorry that it made me attack you harder this is so now let's take a look you get to try it next time or he does because i've taken enough punches today okay that's that's okay this here's another book you wrote maria waza the way of unlimited techniques the different animal fighting weapons and characteristics used in the martial art of muriawaza muriwaza 20 animals that's the name of this book This is his different animal styles of fighting.

So if you remember from Kung Fu Panda, there's different animal styles of Kung Fu. Turtle. Right. He has a lot. He has 20 styles. And I put in only a few of them here. But these are what he calls calamitous patterns based on animal attacks. Okay.

So these are animal attacks that you can use in Muriel Waza. So first up is his first style of martial arts is the great ape. Monkey, baboon, chimpanzee, gorilla, orangutan, spider, capuchin. Okay. And H-1, he has five different attacks you can use. okay one ape climbs tree trapping slash control grabbing arms executing a jumping headbut two eight bites branch biting at an assailant's arm with control three ape grips bamboo stock a merciless hand grip at the throat four harry the ape continues marching type front snap kicks at

knees five monkeys paw clawless tiger strike to face a neck so that's ape style so this is grabbing somebody biting them and scratching their face yeah and being harry the ape okay and becoming harry the ape for a short amount of time in the process. Here's the next style I want to look at is badger style. Wolverine weasel scum.

First one. Look at that. First one. The honey badger. Grabbing, clawing, pinching, stabbing, punching at an assailant's groin area.

Number two, badger digs hole. Dirt or object tossed you in assailant's eyes. Number three, Badger retreats, quick calculated, running backwards steps.

Number four, the Badger's mirror. Ultra quick scratches to entire face. Ultra quick this time. And number five, twisting Badger's clock, Quick snapback twisting clawless strike.

Okay. So if anyone wants to use the badger's mirror, just make sure you're ultra-quick. This is how a badger fights? Yeah. It retreats and it has a mirror. Yeah. Well, there you go. Badger digs hole.

Yeah. Here's the next style. The armadillo. Number one, armadillo roll, ground attack. Murray Watson rolls into a ball by assuming a semi-petal position, protecting internal organs head and growing. Number two, armadillo itches, vigorous, unrelenting nail. scratching an opponent's arm's neck

and face during the duration of the altercation. Imagine you're in a martial arts fight with someone and they're like, next I'll use Armadillo-ish. And they start scratching you really fast. Number three, Armadillo abscons. Muriel Wazen walks or runs away. Hey, I've been, that's what I do every single time.

You do Armadillo style fighting. Number four, Armadillo shell block oncoming punches with lunar punches to attack body weapon. Well, if I knew how to do a lunar punch, I was doing. You were doing lunar punches. I hunched over so that I couldn't get... I couldn't get hit in the head.

Armadillo sweeps tail. Short, stiff-legged kick slash seep to the heel of feet. So those are three animal styles. Any guesses on what the next day? We've looked at ape style, madger style, armadillo style. What animal do you think maybe... Mouse.

Elefix. Okay, so you're both completely wrong. The next style of animal style we're looking at is human style. And it says, the human, homo sapiens, African, agent, European, Native American, and Oceanian.

Here are the different attacks. One, the hunter. Extended arm slices under the nose and at windpipe. Number two, the fisherman. Rapid, severe, piston-like punches to the stomach area. He did that. That's what he did. You did the fisherman. You did the fisherman.

Number three, the archer spear to the windpipe solar plexus. Number four, the blacksmith hammer strike to the top of the head or side of the head. And number five, the wrangler. Why do you wrangle? And it's Wrangler with Justin R. embrace the individual around the body with one R and with another complete embrace with an elbow smash at solar plexus

with a striking arm circle high coming down to a groin grab while embracing arm grabs the assailant's cloth then pushes with while their hand performs groin squeeze and pulls with an action reaction to dislocate man testicles from transition total standing matador position

okay so you jump on there so you hug them with one arm you grab onto them from the back and then with the other arm elbow to the solar plexus, and you grab their nuts. Then you grab their cloths. And then you grab their nuts. You're fighting another kind of ancient human here.

Yeah. As the wrangler. Yeah. I'm going to use the wrangler. If you'll excuse me, I will become the wrangler. Yeah. So that's kind of an overview of his martial arts. That's pretty much all I really know about his martial arts from the free samples

before I get his book in the mail. Well, what about his arts? But he's actually a complete Renaissance man. and martial arts is not his only area. Everything about this screams Renaissance, man. Here's some other books that he wrote. Here's a short story he wrote called Prehistoric Birds and Modern Times.

And this is a cover where it has a picture a bunch of taradactals and it says Africa, New Zealand, Madagascar, Willisie County, Bexer County, the Amazon, Cameron County. Three counties. Cameron County. Right there. Three counties, two countries, a continent and a giant forest.

Yeah. And then he also wrote a book called Long Live the Dead, a Psychological thriller and mystery for the deep thinker. A pair of homeless, mentally ill vagrants struggle to keep what remnants of sanity that remains, despite the never-ending bouts of hallucinations and homicidal flashbacks that are slowly consuming them.

By Eddie Vuittonet, Ph.D. Oh, my God. He's a doctor? Oh, doctor. And he's not... And he's not just a doctor. As a former judge and longtime private investigator, I must say that I truly derives great satisfaction in having solved some of the

mysteries surrounding the lives of the original French Vuitine settlers, their spouse's friends, and neighbors. So that's from a book he wrote about the history of his family. Okay. But he's not just a judge, a private investigator, a martial artist, a doctor, and an author. Yeah. What else is he? He's also a musician. Yes. Holy fuck. There's a summer place

by Eddie Vuittonay and the time travelers. Download today MP3. Eddie Vuittonay and the time travelers. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. Eddie Vuittonay and the time travelers. Is that a style? He has covers of everybody. I need to hear that fucking style. Do you also have any music to play? I didn't Paul Weller's Paul Weller justice. You could do search a right now.

He had a good cover of Heaven knows I'm miserable now. Whoa! Wait, will you please look at the same music? Eddie Vuittenei music? Eddie Vuittonay, you're the best thing that ever.

Also, it's YO you are the best thing. Oh my God, first result. Eddie Wittonay, you're the best thing. Let's hear it. There we go. Let's hear it right now. Don't look at too many of his other videos

because I have one that I want to show. I just want to hear the music. Yeah. Let's click, yeah, go to, here's Rainbow Connection. Oh, this one has a good music video. Yeah, wait, play this. I need to hear this. Look at this amazing album cover.

Look at that old man that woman's talking to. I think this is making no noise. Maybe go to change the output on the bottom right. Yeah. Because I have to hear this. I will die. I need to hear this so bad. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Did we lose? I'm not, just skip to the middle of it, maybe. Do we lose Eddie? Did we lose him? Whoa. His music video is cool. Yeah, the music video is a bunch of soldiers going into a house.

Yeah, this isn't working. All right. The sound isn't working. That's all. I wanted to show a video from at the end. I guess you can just play the, the, play it on the goat, play it for the GoPro at the end. Yeah.

That's true. I could also just play his music from my phone right now. Yeah. Here, I'll do that. No, I won't. What's the next thing? What's the next thing? Why is there like a raid, like a SWAT raid on a house in that video?

Probably Eddie. probably first person oh probably yeah it's probably him either raiding a house or his house getting rated because of his extreme techniques download two words

yeah he's so awesome man he also has he's not just a musician and all that other stuff here's some of his other stuff that he does here's a little banner he made

from himself he's also an everything freelancer let me just read everything that it says here comics toys fast food glasses bicycles old lunchboxes

G. I. Joe's, Toy Story, Bugs Life, Hot Wheels, California Raisins, Ghost Writing, Illustration, Websites, Photo Restoration, Green Screen, slash Background Removal, FaceSwap, thousands of fonts, complete business launch, ads and promo, pop-up chat boxes, explainer videos, small Android apps, movie voice transcription, 100 language translation, T-TL voiceovers, female or male, many foreign languages, video and audio as special effects, video editing, avatars, library of thousands of graphic and audio assets, logos. I mean, avatars, dude, I need to get an Eddie feet to net. And then the last thing I had here was a video that he made with that he animated, 3D animated, and he used his own voiceover thing, his text-to-speech voice. Yeah, you got to show it.

And I'll point my mic at it too. Okay. Actually, I'll point it. I'll just here. Hold on. I have to get it outside of the PowerPoint here. But this is like, I got to tell you guys, this is barely scratching the search. This guy also has a superhero that he made.

Oh, my God. His superhero is named Dr. Wiedinette. No. Something Dynamo. It's a guy who can travel through time by riding his bicycle. That's dope. He, this guy, like, I, he's insane. And he's done so much stuff.

I can't wait to get his book. I bet you're speaking of Jocks versus Wimps. I bet you in middle school. This guy was a wimp. He was a combo. So this will teach you. Don't judge a book by its cover. You never know what these people are going to become.

Don't bully. It's called Vinnie and Baldi. And for people who aren't listening or aren't watching the video, you just know it's a, it's a guy talking to a CGI, a CGI guy talking to a CGI baby. And here it goes. Hey, Baldy, what kind of shit did the teacher put in you yet today? Daddy, she said that you were a freaking flea-bitten racist, shit-eating bitch. And that you were a fat, stinky, slime ball. Daddy, she also said that you were a big chicken shit.

Dumb and that you probably liked me an American. And probably voted for Trump. Chances. But look. It's true. They're ruining the kids. Oh, I am now a good communist. Communist.

Communist. That's how you say it. I'm going out there and teach that sorry. I'm grateful to encode. What she's going to get, it continues to put shit in your head. Capige. Listen, kid. You need to understand one thing.

Use is not a communist. And of course, I am not a shithead or slime ball. And any of that mindless shit that idiot said I was. I stand up for the flag and also the piss. I place my hand on my heart. And off course, kid, any place I've been shot. You're out of there. I'm going to fix this shit the old-fashioned way.

You're going to drop out. You drop out. No. Like I did 20 years ago. But Daddy, please. Tomorrow we see Debbie does Dallas and eat Chinese pizza. Some of the sausage. No sausage.

Daddy. She says she likes my winning. Shit. Jesus. Next you're going to tell me. You love that. Whaty bitch. I can't believe this shit.

And it's happening under my own nose. Put it on your damn ass, kid. You all coming with daddy. Keep your mouth shut, kid. You was told me enough. Cause you is driving me nuts with this communist. Race shit. I'm fixing to go tell your uncle Tony and some of the boys.

And we're going down to that socialistic shit hole. We call us school and give them some good old American advice. Let's go tough guy. Love you, kid. Oh, my God. Wow. And he has dozens of these videos. He makes movie trailers.

This guy is the real deal. He is incredible. Can you pull that video up again? I just want to point something out. What? What do you want to point out? I'm pretty sure that the background in that... Gary's Mod?

Yeah. I think that maybe that was made... You think you made it in Source Filmmaker? I think this is made in Source Filmmaker, yeah You think he made Vinnie and Baldi and Source Filmmaker? This is either Source filmmaker That is definitely looks like Source Yeah, it does

But yeah, he has so much of this stuff I am in love with him He is the man, I was just going through It was so much stuff I didn't want to put too much of the stuff in here I didn't want to burn through it I think you're 100% right I think that is some Gary's mod map

Yeah, this is 100% edgy mod thing That is so fucking sick man he dude that camera angle that thing is so sick he is so cool and I'm gonna be getting I bought his book

I'm gonna be getting it well let's support if you want to support Eddie does you have a website yeah he does oh fuck what's it called it's called Dr. Eddie well you can go to

muriowaza.com but he has another website that he has a million websites he does he has at least three websites well check this fucker out man and give us oh yeah Eddie we can it

Muriowaza.com yeah and this takes you to the Amazon page if you click that but he has another website where it links to all his books

but it has it has a weird name and I can't remember what it was but it's only 30 bucks for the paperback you know actually

I think I texted it to Pierce so like I bet I can find it out right now what his website is yeah wow well check out

Eddie what a what an episode oh his his his superhero is called Dr. Petal Dynamo Dr. Petal Dynamo

all one word and here on the GoPro is Dr. Petal Dynamo wow it's amazing yeah it looks like Xavier

Renegate Angel he really does That is incredible. Check out the Patreon. For You.com. Yeah. Check out the Patreon. Patreon.com.

Probably be talking about Eddie for some weeks now. Maybe for a long time. July 14th at Littlefield in Brooklyn, New York City. We got a sketch show with us,

Home Planet, Alex and Joe, and Pierce. Yep. And we also have the shareholder meeting this Friday. Yep. If you want to upgrade

your Patreon to the executive tier, you'll join the shareholder meeting and get to give your input on the company. Speaking of us being a company, we do a, it's business formal, you have to dress up. You have to wear a little,

you can come in. And if you can't make it, there's always a video available on the Patreon. It's over Discord. We give presentations and I think if you're into making money,

I don't know how many people listen to this fucking show like money. If you do like money and if you have $15, yeah, and Q, yeah.

If you like Q's, we bring the, Yeah. We got you. Yeah. Bye. Bye. Speaking of Bean Curtain, they're showing Johnny Depp's kids bean curtain on HBO every single night at 5 o'clock. The idol used to be something that Indiana Jones stole out of a cave. And now it's a woman with breasts. It used to be a Chinese guy and we don't know if he has a mental handicap. Exactly. Let me point something out to you guys right now. Point it. This show, it's pornographic.

okay this show it goes against our values it's showing these things that we don't agree with and you notice the show used to be called American Idol but as soon as it turned into this what happened what happened they got sexually porn

they took out the word American it's not American oh yeah it's not it's no longer this is this is fully a European idol that we have on our hands on television and is the weekend Canadian and people are finally people oh shit is he Canadian

he's a Canadian idol there you go People are finally starting to realize how disgusting the weekend is. Uh-huh. People are starting to realize what we knew years ago. We were talking about eating that damn pussy all the time. We were doing, we were on this before anybody even knew that tick. Will you let me flick my tick or not?

Will you take the tick off my... He's saying shit. I don't even know what he's saying it's so disgusting. He's saying flick my tick. What is that? Pop my bubble gum Put my bubble gum And flick my tick

Shit on my balls Chew my balls Chew my balls My balls Pick my scab I have fucking got blisters Pick them Picking my book

Flick my tick Flick my tick Will you let me flick my tick You let me flick my tick Or nah Or nah Nah I don't think I want you to...

I'm not going to let you flick your tick. We can... But he made a video in this... Please, girl, please, please, please, please let me flick my tick. No, we don't want you to flick. That needs to flick. Please. We don't want him to flick his tick.

Please, oh, please. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please with a cherry on top.