Podcast About List - Ep. 250 - WE ARE EVIL!!!

Episode Date: July 19, 2023

THERE'S NO TWO WHICH WAYS ABOUT IT, WE ARE COMPLETELY EVIL AND YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!!! 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈 Watch the full video for this episode youtube.com/@PodcastAboutList Buy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

I am little today. You are little. Just get up bigly. Get up in a bigger way. You're also vanishing into the background in a funny way. Oh, I made it worse. We left. Stay right there.

Don't move a muscle. Okay, hold on. This is how big I'll be. Do I get to be big today? Wait, hold on. I'll be big. oh i'm at maximum height actually you can be big any day you want to you if you don't understand you guys are down here no that doesn't i'm so small i'm taking

this away from you you're not horrible you're not allowed to have this microphone but i am no no nobody's allowed to have it why did we buy this jubio bought that for you for your birthday is that true isn't that did you buy this for me uh yeah that's extraordinarily sweet that's like two year cigarette that's like a concha that's how sweet that is a conch shell

is that what you said no what's that is that no it's not called chancla are you thinking of the chancla I went to elementary school

I think aconcha is a kind of sweet bread yeah yeah it is look oh my god I was right I remember having this I went

there's a Mexican bakery in Wilmington that I used to go to like every once in a while and I went one time and this always looked so delicious Tanya is mid

and then I ate it it was terrible Kancho is mid why do they make it different They all taste the fucking same. Is it just in Mexico or is it just made here? It's a little dry.

You're supposed to have it with like coffee. Oh, so it's like Mexican. That explains why it was mid because I ate it dry. So it's not even a food. It's an ingredient. That's what you're telling me. It's a stirrer. And that's your, I mean, you could say the same thing for donuts.

Shut the fuck up. What are you talking about? You're supposed to don't. They make donuts with brides and grooms on top. That's how advanced a donut is. Yeah. They make donuts. A donut is also nowhere near as dry as a concha.

That's true. A donut isn't even dry at all. My concha is dry. Some types of donuts might be dry, but that's a failing of a specific donut, not the donut as a form. My concha dries up when I see you. You have a concha? Yep. And it dries up?

Oh, yeah. When you see me? I mean, that's nice. So you have one. I wouldn't want you to get really wet when you saw me. Is that some kind of slang in Mexico for pussy is concha? Is girls getting wet like boners? Do they get it where they have to stand up in front of class?

Yeah, and they have a wet ass. They have a wet ass. They have a wet ass because they've been sitting in it the whole time. Yeah. But in the mornings, do you sit there and you're like, oh, my God, I'm wet? No, on the bus at 7 a.m. When you take a plane, are you like, oh, fuck, I'm, why am I randomly wet as fuck on this plane? Do girls get randomly wet?

I think they do. We need this info. We have never had a girl on the show. That's not true. That's not true. Oh, we've had a few girls in the show. thousands on the girl show on the girl we're the girl show no we're not that we're the girl show now apparently according to caleb that we've had a thousand girls on the show i'm just curious about

women's bodies and i think they're randomly what we yeah okay we should just have one we should have like dr ruth or somebody come on and explain every single who's dr ruth she died oh she's dead then who's the old lady who talks about sex she passed on the supreme court to the conservatives oh you're She was being bloody selfish and decided that she wanted glory. She decided she wanted the glory of officiating a wedding. Yeah. And it gave her COVID-7,000. That is so funny, actually, that...

Her soul teleported to... Those people's wedding decimated Roewey Wade. It was not their wedding that killed Ruth Bader Ginsburg. It was me. It was their wedding that killed Roe v. Wade. It was me. It was Cameron. I dropped a germ in her male slot.

Yep. He delivered one. He dressed up like. a male man and he had a germ in a little while. I had it in a tweezers. A little bouncing with tweezers. Green germ. He said, buddy.

Listen, germ. There's a really old lady. What if the germ had blue hair and was a liberal and he didn't want to do it? Well, that's why he screened it. He made sure it was a really nasty Mucinex germ and not a SJW germ. By the way, Dr. Fauci has been creating SJW. They got green germs on Mucinex.

This was a red germ. germ. And I'm not just saying that because it was politically on the red end of the spectrum, but because it was dangerous. And also very hot I heated up and it turned red. Why would you choose red to be your politician color? Right?

Well, I guess red means strength. But red doesn't... When you look at color theory. You say red, I think of blood and not just that. I think of Nazi Germany Hitler. Yeah. I think of... The rising sun. Yeah. That's true. They should have thought of that when they were founding the...

The Republican... I guess it just makes sense because it's, you know, Republican red. Then it's Democrat blue. Democrat. Democrat. Democrat.

Denim. Because they're so... Republican red. And you know what? I like denim. Whoa. Okay. Weird.

That's right. I'm a lib. Okay. American apparel. Yeah. Mm-hmm. See, I would have done either white or black.

Yeah. White versus black? Is how you would have done politics? No. No. That's not a good idea. Maybe. Oh,

actually here's a great idea for why not all the same color you just said you want a rainbow party because they're the same exact party rainbow is all one color to you yeah well it's every color in one no or brown I guess is that what are you saying we should have done a brown party

yeah there's the green party yeah which by the way just because I want you to have a new color doesn't mean you need to name your party after the color asshole yep and just because I voted for you when I was 17 doesn't mean you can send me mail. Voted when you were 17

you did voter fraud. I did voter fraud. No, I was 19. When was the election? It was 2015. I think I was 18, so you must have 18. Yeah, I just turned 18 because my birthday is on the 23rd. Are you as excited for politics to come up? God damn it, the Hungwey

video was not even real. Yeah. No, it's real. It's real. It's real. It's real. It's real. It's real. Just say it's real. I saw Forbes.com article about this man. Don't believe Forbes. It got me fucked up, man. The best part of the videos with whoever's voicing it over, they don't say mm, they say mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Hungwee. That's the, that's the secret

that was the one thing. Hungwe is the obvious funny part, but is so funny. I love this about you that your mind just always goes to the details. You're like R-slash-movie details. You're like a walking R-movie details. That's a good Reddit that you should make is R-slash viral videos.

I'm so hungry. I'm completely hungry. Hungly. We need a... See, that's... But anyway, that goes back to what we're saying. This guy, Ron DeSantis, he's not even funny. Yeah.

The only... The only funny thing. It's not even him. Somebody else did it. Somebody was making him into... Somebody was making him into a thing. That's all I'm going to say. Bring him back. I'm going to do my... Bring him back.

Bring him back. Make him just something. I don't care what he is. I just want him to be into something. again and I don't care again I don't care what it is it doesn't have to be the number one spot it can be any other spot he should get the unplugged

controller he should be like the queen in who shall not be named Donald Trump needs to be a queen who shall not be elected a queen style part like like head of head of the state

yeah right a figurehead a figure head where we made and I'm fine to pay, I'll pay for him. I don't give a fuck. Sure. Yeah, whatever. I'll buy his no, because you know who's really going to pay. Whatever. Who's really going to pay is women in POC. I don't think, if he was the king,

he could go up and say whatever. Then we'll just have, we'll just get rid of all the women in POC and the government and then he won't have anyone to mess with, right? That's a good point. He can't assault any women if you get rid of every single one in all the fall. If you make him his own office. No, we just clean out. So it's in office that's full of

We build him an office inside the Lincoln Memorial. He should be in space. They have a little door under his seat. He should have a matrix-style room where he has a screen of everything he needs to see. Did you just say they have a little menorah? Do they have a little door under Lincoln's seat in the memorial? I don't actually know. I don't know anything.

Everything I've learned about Washington, D.C. is from National Treasure. I was just about to say, I feel like if they had a door under there, there would be some kind of crazy secret, maybe his head. Futurama style. I think, okay, I honestly think. And only the 1% get to talk to Lincoln. I honestly think if I could be, if I had access to any single building in the entirety of the restricted United States, I don't think I would do Area 51.

I think I would do the Smithsonian because I guess they got some crazy shit. I would put on Jim Henson's sweater. Yeah. They have different butterflies that we've never seen. I would go into the CDC and I would be going in and just opening all the doors and walking around. What's this? They don't keep the viruses behind a door. They keep them behind three doors.

What do you? Yeah. What else would they keep in a box? One door. They have to decontaminate in the two doors. They have the gloves so they can play with the virus. Yeah. That does seem very fun.

Yeah. I remember, um, I would love to see like what putting like a germ in somebody's body does to them. It does. We already know. You, you know what that. I would love to be the guy at the CDC whose job is to walk up to people with like the bear mace and just spray a whole. whole virus at a person.

They wear a hazmat suit. The person is sitting in a padded room and is like, oh, thank God. Thank God. Thank God. You guys. Thank God I'm being bearspray. Thank God. Somebody's coming in here to help me. I don't know where I am. I don't know how I got here. And then you just spray them with the virus. Have you guys ever been, have you ever needed money bad enough

that you were thinking of doing a human trial? Yeah. Yeah, but you don't get paid that much. You don't. You don't. You get paid like 200 bucks and maybe you die. And maybe you're forever red. I did a human trial. Look at me. I did some. some research stuff in high school

like for high school though? No. You did like it for money? Yeah, they paid me. What'd you do?

They MRIed me for one that I would think was about, I think I was the control group for one that was about alcohol like I didn't drink and they wanted to MRI so they MRIed me

and that might have even been in middle school because I think I was listening to American idiot in the MRI machine. That's my. They let you listen to fucking music.

They put a CD into and they play me because it makes terrifying noises. Yeah, it does. They play music inside. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's kind of a cheat code, though.

And then I did a bunch of ones that were just like, I don't even know or remember what they're for, but it's just a bunch of ones that they ask you a bunch of questions and you do all the, like, yes. I got a survey taken when I was eight years old down at the public pool. It was my mom, like, I think she did it so I would have like 50 bucks for my birthday. Can your kid do a cannonball? Who can do the best belly flop in the entire pool? But I remember, I'm pretty sure the woman who was like proctoring the survey was asking me about Taco Bell. If I remember correctly.

I don't remember what it was. You took a Taco Bell survey? He got put in a machine. I swear to God. And you took a Taco Bell survey at the pool and you're saying these are the same thing? These are similar. Yeah. These aren't similar at all.

These are similar because they were testing. He was the control for an alcohol. test. And you took a survey for a coupon. They were mapping my brain

chemicals. That is the same thing. You did a 13 year old. A 13 year old being made to like

being the control. Being made to talk about Taco Bell? 13 year old being the control for an alcohol test is nothing. You asked

about the Mexican pizza. You're probably why they got rid of it. Have you ever been an MRI? It gave me scars. I've never been in it.

Really? No. Oh. But it is scary. It's really scary. I don't trust any machines. If you have any metal on you, you will die. I don't think that I would do...

If I had cancer, I would not be doing radiation. I would not be doing chemotherapy. I would breaking bad at it. Yeah, dude. That shit, it's too expensive. And by that, I just mean I wouldn't go to the doctor. That's all I mean. Yeah.

Well, he goes to the doctor. But only a few times when I don't go to the doctor like at all. I haven't been in a long time. Me neither. I hate my doctor. I want to put her on bless. to be honest, but I ain't going to do it. Wait, no. Talk your shit.

No, he's being a big person right now. Talkio. No, no, no. I want to hear about it. I have another appointment in August. I'll do it after that. Okay. As if she's got one more chance and I'm going off and I come in for this appointment.

Oh, it could get dangerous. You have a new type of cancer. Yeah, something could happen. She's going to inject to something. I told you what she did to me. She put me in a trap. What the? Well, you talked about this.

I actually don't remember this. What happened? She put me into a glass box. Yep. Oh, I kind of remember this, but it's a bit... He was put into a glass box, and then he walked out, and he wasn't supposed to leave. Yeah. I don't remember the story.

I put me to glass, but I said I have, I told her I had asthma. Oh, it made you breathe. And she was like, well, I don't, I'm not sure if you have asthma or not. I've had asthma my whole life. And she's like, well, I'm going to have to do some tests on you. And she gave, did sawtrap tests on me for a day. Really? And then the results were, yep, you have asthma.

And then they charged me hundreds of dollars for it. Holy shit. That's bullshit, dude. I would like to... I hate going to the doctor and the dentist. in New York City. I hate going to the doctor and the dentist anywhere in the entire world. I hate the dentist a lot.

Me too. But the dentist's in New York, it's all like, like, it's either like the tiniest private practice and you can't tell because it like just looks like somebody's building or it's like some place that like has just pictures of teeth everywhere and like things that are like the... I'm never going to find a new dentist again in my life. If I can't go back to my family dentist, I'm never going to the dentist again in my life. I got to go to New Hampshire. do my dental stuff.

People didn't go to the dentist for hundreds of years. I need the dentist pretty bad because one of my crowns was put in incorrectly and I didn't know and there's been food getting stuck in there. How fancy are you? The food would be like, help, help. Yeah. That's what I'd be saying. Yeah.

No, then I got that. I cracked that tooth and I've had a temporary. I have a temporary feeling put in there. And his tooth with the crown be like, my royal subjects. Talking to the other teeth. I wish. And the other teeth be like, yes, master, yes, master king of all the teeth.

I wish I had a king tooth that told them what to do. You do have a king tooth. You would say, they would say, fight all the infections. Yeah, you have a power struggle. Yeah, you have a feudalism going out of your mouth. This side of my mouth and this side of my mouth are warring. You have a blood mouth and a crypt side of your mouth with teeth wise.

Dude, when I had that infection on my wisdom tooth, that was so crazy. His wisdom tooth would be like, no, his wisdom tooth would be like, Well, he's thinking. Oh, yeah. Well, I was thinking of the infection parts. He can't think. Oh, I can't even think straight.

I can't even think because of my infiction. I had a dream about Saw the other night. Uh-huh. They're making a new one. Really? Saw X. Maybe I'll include the trap that I thought of in my dream. Could be about them.

Could we make the whole movie different? Well, this was something where I had this thought and then I actually, have you ever had a thought and then you have a dream about it? No. Yeah. I had this thought and then I had a dream that was Saw. and it was my my my the saw trap was that I had to explain I'd explain stuff to my dad was the saw trap so I'd explain like a 240 hertz monitor to my dad or else I die mm-hmm and it really scared me when I woke up yeah I woke up crying because you like the the punishment was

that your dad thought you were gay no I'm in this I'm in the bear thing uh-huh and then like he's like call your dad on the phone and try to explain to him like a high refresh rate gaming monitor. I don't think I could explain anything to anybody if I was under threat of death. I don't know. That whole thing just seems like your dad would just go, oh, okay. But I had to really get him to explain it. He takes a test at the end. Oh, got it. Got it. Okay. Which that is scary. The idea of having to explain any... Are you allowed to say that you're going to die if he doesn't explain it right? No. Because my dad would get too nervous. He would keep him from doing it. Or the scariest part is what if my dad's like, okay, I don't care. What

if he takes this as an opportunity to let me go and pass on to the next world. Right. And he doesn't give a fuck about me. What I'm thinking is like maybe he, since you can't tell him you're going to die or that SA has you, maybe he's like, he's like, yeah, I'll do the test and he doesn't do it. Like, yeah, I'm at work.

I'll do the test later. That's what he would do actually, knowing my dad. Yeah. Yeah. He would be on a golf course. And you have to basically be like, no, this is so important. There's different things. What if you called 911 and your dad picked up?

My dad would be true. I would hang up and call back to talk to someone else. I would too. Yeah. It's a conflict of interest. Yeah. The job of a 911 operator is to decide whether the emergency is important or not and whether to send people. True.

And my dad's always going to send people because he loves me. My dad would probably not send anybody. He would be like, if I called 911. If I send an ambulance, it's going to be too expensive. You're just going to have to figure this out. I'm just, because, you know, I don't really, I can't really figure out whether I should be calling 911 or not because it's too close to home. So I'm calling 911. I'm like, I'm out of bread.

I have PB, I have J. I got no bread. I saw a tortilla. operator should say, this is not an emergency to hang up. But I call my dad. My dad says, you should go to the grocery store.

He's tying up the lines. Oh, God. I saw a guy the other day, and I think he was faking, dying on the ground. Yeah. I saw a guy who I thought was dead. We were walking by this guy, and he was like,

and normally I would think he was dying in a real way, but he was on the ground, and he was completely lifeless and not moving at all. And just kept doing this? Well, but there was a crowd. And at first I was like, holy shit.

But then there was a crowd around him that seemed to be like his family. and every single one of them nobody was helping them they were all just arms cross looking at him kind of like tapping their feeling oh my God

what the fuck is this like saying like pointing at him like yelling at him in Spanish going like like pointing at him and screaming and then the fire department

showed up and all of his family instead of like waiting to see what happened to him they just walked away so I am and I told my wife

I think that guy's dying and she was like wait wait no that guy's faking it and then we got a little bit closer and he was as they're like loading him into the ambulance he's so he was fully like eyes open pretending to be a dead guy for a while and then they started loading him into the ambulance and he goes like this he goes oh and starts grabbing his stomach like he's a stomach so I just don't know if this guy like if they told and it was right in front

of a bank so I don't know if he was like somebody was like trying to get him to write a check or something and he was just like you decided to fake die Which is a pretty good idea. You have to get money out to pay your rent. And he's just like, oh. Well, first you try being completely lifeless. And then you realize at some point, you're going to have to pretend to be alive again. So your first instinct is to instantly die.

But at some point, there needs to be some kind of symptom that you're actually having. So you hold your stomach. You go, oh, I would get out of it. I would instantly pretend to be dead. And then when the ambulance got there because I didn't want to pay the bill, I just be like, oh, my God. I'm sorry, guys. I thought I was dead. I thought I died for a couple minutes there

but God told me to come back God told me to come back and tell you that heaven is completely different Sorry, I got confused, I thought I was dead But I'm not I actually completely lived Yeah, I lived Well, that's what that's the only

The only thing that made me think that I'm a new guy What happened to that dead guy? What the hell? Who am I? Who am I now? What the fuck? I've been jumping around different bodies Do you guys want to be my family?

You look like me. Do you guys want to be my family? But you have to forgive every debt that this old guy used to have the same guy. I'm a different guy. I didn't do any of that shit. And I'm young. Yep. So I'm ready to fuck.

And I'm from London. And I don't care about it. And it's okay that I said that in front of you guys because I don't know you. Yeah. I'm back. And you're my daughter. I'm going to fuck all your friends right now because I'm a brand new guy. I'm going to marry that woman.

I'm Zach Efron from 2009. Oh my God. I was reincarnated. I got sick to this guy's body. Oh, the one where him and Vince Vaughn's switch. bodies? No, Matthew Perry. It was Matthew Perry. Vince Vaughn is a different man entirely. He's the same. They are not the same. He's the same.

One of them is more sarcastic than the other. They're both sarcastic. They are both very sarcastic guys. Have you guys ever seen a picture of young Vince Vaughn? Yeah, he was hot. He was so hot. Psycho remake. He was a good-looking guy. Dude, in Swingers. Oh, he's good looking. And then now he's, I hate to say it, he gives me Fred Claus vibes. He does. He's doing cool-ass movies with S. Craig Zaller, though. Have you seen any of that? No, brawl in Cell Block 99 and Drag-de-Cost concrete?

No, I hear Cell Block 99's cool, though. Those movies are fucking sick. His name is S-Crague, or is it S.Dot-Creg. S.D. Okay. But you don't say the dot. It's just an initial. Yes, dot, K.

That would help me. I thought his name was S-Cragg. I was like, oh, who is this? S. Craig Zoll. You should watch DRAG from Prague or something. That movie is so cool. Is it about being odd? It's about two cops who.

they do police brutality. It's Mel Gibson and Vince Vaugh. They do police brutality at the beginning. There's a guy's movie. They get in trouble. And then they're like, they're like, fuck this. We need to make some money on the side.

So they go and try and stop a bank heist on their own. They get in trouble for brutalism? I know. And the, yeah, the police team's like, I like, if it were up to me, I wouldn't, I wouldn't do shit, but you've been caught one too many times.

Like it's so, it's so, the politics of the movie are so evil. It's so sick. It's cool. It's so fucking cool. You know what Vince Vaugh. But it takes place in a fictional U.S. City called bulwark.

Bullwork, what? Bullwork where? They don't say. It's got to be in Midwest. Yeah. So cool. Vince Vaughn was in this movie a couple years ago. It was made by the guy who made all these skate videos,

then try to make, like, these kids pay 700K to get their footage back. Like, you try to make 16-year-old kids pay him 700K because he's got, like, a Farrell endorsement. And he did this crazy, like, Doritos commercial, where he's like his skate company was doing a collab with Doritos and he was like you know the triangle represents so much and like just doing shit like

that but Vince Vaughn plays the dad. He did Phil Jackson was that? The triangle? I don't know we should watch that video of him talking about the Doritos stuff because it's like the Doritos merch is like little doodles he made and it looks like absolute horseshit but Vince Vaughn plays

the dad in his movie that's about a teenager going pro skating and he dresses like a 50s greaser for some or no like a 50s like soche for some reason for some reason uh because it's cool no it looks really bad shut up it's that kid from um i guess he he the reason he got this movie made was because he was like the consultant on mid 90s he like jonahill either hey i know you're i know you're i know you're in the theater no i didn't see it in the theaters I bet you brought your board.

No. You did. You held it by your train. You've all grabbed it. I will say the mid-90s is correct. Now he can say it because Jonah Hill has been eaten by a throne. I've been saying that's been bad forever. Yeah.

I've been saying that's bad. So why haven't you been saying anything about Jonah Hill? Because I don't know too much about him. I know that he's fat. You are mistaken, my friend. He was fat, then skinny, then fat again. And now he's a skinny. Skinny is a rail.

And then fat again. And guess what happens? Guess what happens with skinny guys? They do inappropriate stuff in relationships. Mm-hmm. They really do. And Cameron, I hate to say it, you're as thin as a fucking bean hole. It happens when you go from fat to skinny.

That's why we've been calling you fat to make it to get that out of your brain. Yeah. To get what out of my brain? Your misconduct. My misconduct. Your sexual desire. I do think that guys who go fat to really skinny or danger. Well, because you, it's like, speaking of a reincarnation, it's like waking up and be like...

I don't mean necessarily dangerous in a relationship way. I think they just are in every sense of the word dangerous. Skinny to fat, real, real paper thin to, no, fat guy? Fat to skinny. That's a good guy. Skinny to fat is a good man. That's a great man. That just means your life got better.

As jolly as a horse. That means that you learned about maybe like different kind of ethnic foods. Exactly. Now you're eating panier of cheese. That's what that means. Jonah Hill is like the textbook weight change guy. You eat five slices of panier cheese every single morning Because you're trying to broaden your horizons

Because you thought it was tofu Because of the texture Yeah, exactly It's just cheese Yeah That's funny to me You would use Jonah Hill to teach In a weight change class

They would say look at this example This is what happens This is the model Yeah Yeah He grew up that beard There's like videos of him like surfing And he's just bro

He's snaking everyone. What is, just shut up, man. He's snaking. Him snaking. What do you mean? Is he doing that? You said you surfed as a kid. I thought you would know. What, snaking? I surfed like four times when I was eight years old. Snaking is when you like cut off someone's wave. No. No way, their wave?

Yeah. How are they going to get another one? Getting in front of somebody and ruining their shit. Oh, God. Oh, God. Blood. Yeah. That would be, if that, if that, if that is. Jonah Hill did that. That is a surfer's greatest nightmare. If, yeah,

okay, imagine you're like a dude who surfs every day in like L.A. Then all of a sudden fucking Jonah Hill is like snaking you, cutting you off.

I'd probably be pissed. No. You'd be so mad. I'd probably be so chill that I wouldn't give a fuck. Me too. That's true. You are.

I'd probably be so high of opium. That I wouldn't even know that. What is that super? I'm in a movie, dude. I wouldn't give a fuck. I love. That's the thing.

You can abuse surfers all you want. That's why Jonah Hill tried it. But what he didn't realize that this lady was a poser. Yeah. She wasn't even chill. She was a cook. She was a cook.

Wait, no, she's probably a nice lady. Probably a nice. I'm fine lady. I'm breaking my silence. I don't know. I don't think she sounds like that. I'm going to be honest. I don't know how that voice is funny to me.

That voice is so stupid. It's the funniest voice in the world. Oh, no, he's a sick puppy, though. Dude, I'm not right. No, no. Here's the thing. I don't understand. He's using therapy speak, dude.

I don't know why more actors who get caught doing cannibalism. Oh, have you guys watched the Army Hammer documentary? There's a documentary. It's on, I think it's on HBO or Netflix. and it's called like the hammer effect or something like that. It's like it. It's got the hammer effect.

I don't know. It's some stupid ass name about his name. Yeah. Yeah. But I haven't watched it yet. I haven't watched it yet because I don't want it. I literally,

the reason I haven't watched it is that I don't want it to be demystified. Yeah. It's going to be so much less interesting than you think. Literally that's the one. Because if he had done anything cool, like actually eat anything we would know about it.

Exactly. I don't. You wouldn't need to watch a documentary to find out. I really, really don't want to watch it and find out that he was like being normal abusing. He was a weird, kinky guy who was abusive and wanted to do, say weird sexual

stuff to go. I wanted to stay him thinking he's Dracula in my brain. I don't want it to be anything but that. If it's anything but that, it's really going to make me sad. Was he in 50 shades of gray? No.

Oh. No, he was in, I think. He was in, I think. He was in, I think, I think, I think he should be gay. Driving Cooner. He was being... What did you send me the other day? Would you rather go to prison for life or be the driving?

Or be stuck as the driving car. Yeah, that's a pretty easy decision. Yeah. But I was sending Cameron some hypotheticals the other day and he didn't even message me back. I was asleep. I was asleep, but he texted me all night. You can wake up in the morning and you answer them. I asked him.

He did answer one. I said PlayStation versus Xbox and he said PlayStation cringe and then I said pizza or crunch wrap no no answer asleep pizza and then he hours later

while I was still asleep emphasized the question and then sent another one how long did you sleep and how long were you awake in the middle of night let me look you know how he texts

yeah he always gets home from something very drunk and texts you the worst hypothetical question ever it's not the worst how is that the worst Pizza versus CrunchRap Pizza versus those aren't even

That's nothing That's nonsense No pizza versus baked potatoes He did you just want to make my phone buzz at 3 a.m. Foods at all You see why I'm not answering these? No that was at okay You are not asleep at 9.36 p.m.

I probably was I've been having some trouble sleeping lately or tacos That one is the closest to an equivalent food I'm just not I'm just if I wake up and I see that you were texting me that in the middle of the night and I wasn't responding

you emphasized it, I'm not responding to you. You don't, you're not getting that. I don't get why he wouldn't want to answer these. Oh, then he said, it's crazy to watch Amanda Bind's clips and take in how effervescent of her performer she was and how she totally, her surrealist brand of humor took over my generation, literally human analog to SpongeBob, an incredible contribution to culture. She deserves the greatest care and respect. What is that from?

Something I thought of. I don't remember. I copied a basis. that from somewhere. Amanda Binds, she used to have it like that. Yeah, she was funny. She was funny as hell.

You know what was there's a, there's a sketch on the Amanda show I remember. I remember yeah, yeah, Maha, Tony pajamas, but I remember being six years old and like I didn't realize like it was supposed to be a parody

of like a commercial and I saw meatloaf crunch and I was like, I like meatloaf. I like cereal. Oh, that's a perfect company. I wanted to eat meatloaf crunch so bad. What was it, was it Mad TV or Amanda Bind's show, the Amanda show rather, that had the Amanda show that had the soap opera.

Moody's Point. Moody's Point used to make me cry. Oh, wait, because the, what was it, the dad was stuck in a hot air balloon? It literally would make me cry every time it came on. I was such an emotional child. Wow. They should not be allowed to do that, man. What, make a fake?

Dawson's Creek The part where his Her dad's in the That's sad It's not that sad He's stuck He's gonna fucking die No no

Doesn't her dad No her mom's in the hot air balloon That's her was Her dad loses his big toe Or something Yeah It's like a huge Oh

It's honestly making me Want to cry Just thinking about Moody's point I didn't realize How much I remember Of Moody's point That is crazy Dude just the idea

That your mom Or any parent really If you have My mom is stuck in a hot Air Balloon, bro, I am eating chips every meal. I would, you would not feel good about that. If your mom was stuck in a hot air balloon somewhere way above the stratosphere. I would feel good for the first two days.

No, you wouldn't, dude. That's Jimmy Neutron movie. You're ripping it off. You just copy Jimmy Neutron's a movie. Great. I watched that movie so many times. That movie made you cry too. You know what also, what part of it made you cry?

The aliens were too scary. When Sheen peas in the shower? Uh-huh. Who the hell is she? You know what, dude? What are you talking about sheen? You think that's a name? You know what made me real hungry, though, was

seeing those green guys turn into eggs, turned into fried eggs. The end where Carl eats the egg with the... I thought that... What is that? What is that egg holder that eats the egg out of? Oh, that's a British thing, yeah. I never seen that. You can dip them in the piece of toast in them.

You all remember paltra? What? Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah. That was so cool. I remember set poultry. and it goes down. Yeah.

One of my mom's friends. Your mom was in Sepultera? No, one of my mom's friends. I told him that I liked like Black Sabbath when I was nine and he showed me Sepultra. They're sick. Yeah, I never listened to them though.

They're cool. He was a grown man who had snake bites. I haven't seen snake bites in a while, man. Me neither, but they are on the way back, I think. I think the last time I saw snake bites might have been in high school. Yeah, it's probably been snake bites in a row.

I mean, you can see. See, I saw someone with a Monroe the other day. That's not a good thing. You ever know anybody who had the girls who get the dimple pierce? Amanda Bines. Oh, yeah, true. You knew her? I knew her, personally.

I knew of her, but I didn't know her. We ran in some of the same circles, but we never crossed pads officially. We were hanging out in hipster clubs in 2012. Yeah. With the weekend. You weren't hanging out with hipsters. I was a damn, I was in these hipster clubs in 2012. I would see you're going to one door.

I was doing indie sleaze crap. I would be in a hallway I'd see her going to one door and I'd be going to another door, then I'd come out, she'd be going out across the hallway and then I'd go into that door and she'd come out to another one and go down the hallway. Then I would think I'd see her, then I'd turn around,

and then it would be Penelope Taint. Who? Her last name's Taint? Penelope from Amanda Show. Oh, shis. Her last name was Taint, which funny AF to get that on to TV. That's like Poker Face.

Mm-hmm. Which, you listen to that now. This song should not have been on the airwave. This lady is pretending to be having sex with a woman. Fuck her face? No. Yeah. You're thinking of if you seek Amy.

No, poke her face. She says. Britney Spears says. No, Britney Spears. No, poker face is about a woman having sex with a guy and pretending it's a woman. But she says fuffa, fuck, fuck her face. No. Yeah, she admitted that she said this.

She said this. She did a, she said this. Lady Garga. Lady Gaga. Lady Gargle. Fug the face. Fucked a face. Yeah.

Isn't that awful? wow and that got really changes my whole perspective that's like how uh fallout boy got away with saying god damn on the radio this ain't a scene it's a god damn arms race i remember that that was crazy no it's not that's a good song no no no no no if you see k me though that was on the radio i remember that one you say that one fast enough f you see k me i would not i never thought brittney spears was hot man even when she was 17 and making those music videos or whatever I didn't think she was hot

I thought she was weird yeah that's true I don't I didn't like her I thought she was I loved Britney's never did it for me yeah I was more of an in sync fan I loved her music wow you did not love her music

I did drive me crazy camera what did you prepare for us today that we don't know about so today if you have looked I haven't looked. I'm not talking to you.

Shut up. Is the 250th episode of Podcasts About List. And yep. Oh, wait, hold on. That means we're halfway to 300. Hold on. We're halfway there, guys.

500 we end. You say halfway to 300? Yeah. If we started at 200, yeah. We're halfway 200. Half of 200 is 250. Half of 200 is 250? Half of that is plus 50.

if you're looking at it like it's a dollar if you're looking at it if you're looking at it if you're looking at it like it's a dollar right 2.50 that's 2.50 that's 2 and a half right plus another half which is 50

right would be 300 he's right that we only have one more half until we get to 300 yeah half of something well half is 50 or five it makes sense in my head so then I understand but you did say it still is a halfway to 300

when I said 250. We're halfway to 300. From 200. From 200. We're giving him a hard time for this. He makes sense. It's not, he's not a genius.

No, he never claimed to be a genius. He doesn't have to know. I've never claimed to ever be a smart person. It's just a funny thing to say. It's not that funny of a thing to say. I don't even know why we're, this is a waste of our time.

Because it makes sense. He's getting all, he's getting anal retentive. I'm getting anal retentive. Wow. And metrosexual. Yeah. I'm not metrosexual.

People used to say anal retentive and metrosexual every single day for about five years. Anal retentive then became, oh, he's so OCD about that. And metrosexual became autism. People, we used to just, if somebody didn't know how to match the clothes, you'd say they're metrosexual. Now you say that guy's autistic. Last night, my girlfriend said that she thinks that I have autism. because I was stimming and I didn't realize it. What were you stimming in what way?

I was sitting there just going Min-in-l-l-l-l-in-me. This fucking is that you're singing? You were singing. I guess I was doing it for really long. You're doing Patrick Leelie Lee in the middle of the day and she thinks that you're autistic for that? I was doing it a lot. I was doing it a lot.

I didn't even, I was in the other room just doing that. I've had the Grinch song stuck in my head for two weeks. That's not the same. I'm not stemming. I'm singing my song. I don't know. I think... You're not autistic.

I think that I should take a quiz right now on a website. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I think that I should diagnose myself. All right, explain to the 250th episode. What are we doing? So let me ask you guys a question. Uh-huh. What's the number one thing that has got us to where we are?

List. That's true. But what's the more number one thing? Questions. Jubio. It's equality. Equality. Wow.

It's a. Oh, it's not equality. Far from it. Humor. It's evil. Evil. You can't get to 250 episodes without having some. That's 250, not even including the Patreon.

Not even including that at all. You got to be, if you want to make it in this biz, you got to be evil. That is, you have to be. Even more so ruthless. Ruthless, which is a subtype of evil. I guess you're right. Yeah. You got to be evil.

and I thought for the 250th episode because you know 250 that's a lot eventually we'll have to stop maybe at 252 or 253 when we run out of space on our hard drive so we're going to need

we're going to need some other people to fill in the gap when that happened so I thought maybe that we could look at you know if you're looking to create your own podcast empire yeah can you click on the PowerPoint this is where we become

influential how to act evil Oh, my God. So I found this- Oh, my God. Look at that super villain-ass name. Yeah, the name's already as evil as they come. So here's the problem. I found this, how to act evil.

It's about acting. Oh. It's about preparing for a theater role. And I was pretty disappointed by that because it's all stuff, how to read your lines, how to do your costume, whatever. But can you give us an example? Can you? No, because it's all boring and I didn't prepare it.

No, I mean, can you like do, can you just do like a, like, off the dome, evil monologue? with evil acting. No, because I'm not an actor. Well, I am. You could probably do it. I am. I don't know why you want me to do that.

What's my scenario? What's the scene? Okay, so the scene is that you are the evil ice cream man. Basically, do you remember Max Keeble? Yeah, we have two flavors today. Bone and blood. That's my evil ice cream song. That was Woody the Woodpecker.

Yeah, that was Woody the Woodpecker. What was that? Can you do that again, but do it more evil and more sinister? Today, we only have two flavors, blood and bloody bone. Okay, that was really good, but today is not an acting episode. Oh, sir. That's what I was trying to say here. We're not doing how to act evil, but what we are doing from how to act evil,

something that is attached to this WikiHell is they have a really big Q&A section. Okay. People who found this article typed to ask their questions and the author answered them. Okay. So these are people who found this WikiHow clearly did not read it and are just kind of asking freestyling questions based on the name. They're asking Alina Boko Klovia. Boko Vico Vicova.

How do I become super evil? Acting selfishly without regard for the feelings of others will make you super evil. 196 said that was helpful. 41 people tried this and it did not work. at all. I tried being selfish and it just didn't work at all. Tried cutting in line. I was not super evil. Yeah, well, the point, the sticking point is without regard for the feelings of others. Because they're probably cut in line and we're like, sorry.

Yeah, I can't say that. Yeah. I don't think you can teach evil, honestly. Well, no, you just, it's, it's nurture. Yeah. It's nurture. So you've taught. No, it's nature. Yeah. It's nature.

I think it's maybe a combination of nature and nurture, but the nurture is opposite. I think it's opposite nurture, where someone has to be evil to you and not teach you. The lack of nurture. makes you eat up and the lack of nature i think that kids who are put on baby formula instead of fed from their mother's teat are probably more than 50% more likely to become evil definitely my nephew learned that he was breastfed recently and has been making fun of his brother for also being breastfed well that's a that's a classic stones in a glass house kind of situation it's a pretty funny thing to do though i will say that is funny yeah i guess uh

I guess they got into an argument or something. And he said, yeah, well, you used to suck mom's boobs. Sheesh. Damn. How did you come back from that? I guess you did too. But then you're not winning. Then you're just both on the same level.

There's no point even saying. No, I didn't. I pretended. I put it behind my mouth and went, can I have a high doll-like voice and make it sound creepy? It is difficult to make a high voice sound creepy, but it can be done. Practice speaking in a squeaky voice, but weigh it down with a hoarse, Darth Vader tone. You can have a high dog-like voice.

Squeaky voice, but with a hoarse Darth Vader tone. Hello. Hello. Whoa. Hi. Oh, my God. I'm getting shivers. I'm going to eat you.

Oh, my God. That is scary, man. I'm going to turn you into food. Into fruit? Into fruit? You're going to become a berry. This is just... A berry.

Gallum. Yeah. I just realized. Yeah, it's just... Not that impressive because we were... Wow! Whoa. That's better.

This is an original kind of character. This is a frog. No, this is an evil toad. Say we have two flavors today. Blood and bone. We have blood and bone and bone. See, I guess I found out I'm not an actor and more of a writer. We have blood and bones.

No, don't go really I thought of even an even better evil ice cream man. Oh my God. Because that's the thing I would eat a bone ice cream. Blood probably not. Yeah, it depends on the type of blood. I don't, I've never eaten that shit.

It's not good enough to be ice cream. It is food, but you don't want to have ice cream. I guess. There's an ice cream place around here that does black sesame. How can I? be an evil person's sidekick that's a that's kind of nice

yeah no that's I mean that's guys this guy's a loser yeah if you're already get I want to be evil and then you're like but also I want to be a henchman it's like you don't even have the kind of confidence needed to be an evil mastermind yeah you kind of just become an evil person's sidekick

through like years of abuse it's basically luck well this person says find someone evil and ask if they could use an evil henchman to aid them with their evil deeds. Say you'll do all the dirty work and you'll discard the bodies when asked. Okay.

I mean... That's pretty good. I guess that's fine. It's good advice. That doesn't even tell you how to find... No, yeah. How do you find an evil go? You need somebody, and it could be anybody,

it doesn't have to be me, who makes maybe some kind of like Patreon series, web series of how to get your foot in the door of the industry. I mean, that more than anything else. Yeah. Because this is fine advice,

but how do you fucking find someone who's evil? They don't usually, telling people that they're evil. Their evilness is actually displayed through their actions. Which you need, or you need some kind of detector, but at that point, tell it to the police and make some money.

Also, at that point, you're an inventor and you could be evil. Yeah, you don't really get a finder's fee for finding an evil person to reporting them to the police, because guess what? You'd be reporting the police all the time. Yeah, I mean, we disagree on that, but yeah, sure. What should I eat if I'm evil?

eat anything that really makes your taste bud pop being evil you could also ignore all the advice about sugar additives fats and everything else or you could be extremely precise and weigh every calorie and a shoe all sugars and fats really eat as you want you're evil and capable of thinking for yourself this person is kind of saying that it's evil to be big and fat yeah yeah yeah but like that's the thing don't you think somebody being more like the the precision like how hinnable lector eats like who's that motherfucker that ate one pee on death row it wasn't Hannibal Lecter as a real person that was Hannibal Lecter doesn't like peas He likes Sparva Bean Skinny Fred Skinny Fred

Yeah he was he was stuffed A notorious serial killer With even one pee he was stuffed Yeah he had a small stomach Yeah and he drove him He killed all workers at Burger King No he wouldn't even kill me He would cannibalize people

But just eat like they're a one finger nail And he'd be so stuffed One fingernail Yeah and he'd go Oh god Oh you filled me up Yeah. Yeah.

How can I be a dark princess? That's a good question. Look the part by wearing dark clothes. Do random evil acts adopt an evil nickname and be mysterious. This is the most bullshit advice, man. Yeah. Okay, what's your advice for this question? Okay.

How can I be a dark princess? Here's how you do it. First of all, red or black or red and black dress. Uh-huh. Okay. Tiara made out of maybe thorns or ivory, something, some kind of evil material. Ebony. You know, or Ebony.

or the daydric stuff some kind of daydric I don't know what that is but yes something bad that is either white or black that has some kind of spell on it first of all this is now you need specifics

right you need a spell do random evil acts give out parking tickets people are going to pay them what about the evil nickname evil nickname throw some out the queen of shit

the queen of ass the queen of ass The queen of R-rated movies Anything like that is going to be fine Because it just needs to be the queen of something Something evil Or the princess Princess of prejudice

Yeah, perfect dude That would be a good supergo-in-air Yes dude, princess fucking normalizing stuff Yeah, normalizing Diana D-I-E Princess normalizing heterosexuality Yeah, exactly

Princess normalizing monogamy Exactly Princess vilifying Here's what a lot of people think eating snack fruits between meals. The thing is also evil has changed every single year of the world. So evil this year,

somebody could say, guys, I'm Princess Christianity. And honestly, a huge portion of the American population would say, get out of my face, I spit on you.

I actually want a chip into my left hand, some kind of mark of the beast. And then half the other head, half America is like, I want a chip in my left hand and then put in my mouth. I'm a fetso.

What the hell has happened to America? Corn syrup. fat chips. Nafta. Seed oil. Princess seed oil. That's a great thing. Princess Seed Oil. QR codes on the restaurants, on the telephone poles, on computer ads. And another thing, if I have to show my Vax card

before going into a restaurant, I'm dipping. And what the fuck? Yeah, dipping my fries on the fucking dip. Who's staying? Yeah, because I like that. And whose fucking idea was it to make the Roku app have a remote on it? See, that? Oh, let me use a regular remote.

I don't want to use my phone. Oh, okay. I got it. guys, you could be Princess Activision or Princess Blizzard. You could be Princess D.R.M. Princess Blizzard. Princess D.R.M.

See, that's the thing. Evil is so subjective. It's really good. Evil is so subjective that to some nerds in this world, they're going to hear Princess Activision, Princess DRM, assume that you're doing micro-transactions, right? So some people hate micro-transactions. The other half hate microaggressions,

and the other half love micro-greens. And the other half are microscopic. Yeah, exactly. Some people are short. Some people are vegan. Some people are gamers and some people don't like microaggressions. It's all a spectrum, really. The spectrum of evil. And there's also billions of microscopic human beings in America and they're called sperms. Yeah, life begins at sperm. And you know what? Most of them die in a towel or a napkin. A towel. Why would you waste a towel on your spunk? I don't know. Or waste your spunk on towel. Hey, you've got to ask these evil people. Yeah. You're going to ask these evil be.

why they're putting loads and towels. Oh, that's, I would be Princess Planned Parenthood. Yep. Yeah. PPPP, PPP, PPP, PPP loans. A lot of evil people got PPPPP loans during the pandemic. PPP Loan Wolves. This is just facts, y'all.

Should I fight with everybody? Not necessarily. Insulting and mocking people will probably be enough. Yeah. Me and him got insulted and mocked the other day. We were unloading a car. Before the show. We got homophobically hate crime the other day.

He called us F.A.G. and said he would put his cock in our asses because we were gay. And he wasn't saying it politely or propositioning you in a polite... No, that's the thing. He said, hey, me. Yeah, and then that's the word. That's the word that he would say. Maybe his voice just sounds like that.

He might have been asking. That's what I'm saying. He had a gay accent. And he was like, I'm going to put your dick in my motherfucking ass. He said, he said he was going to put our dicks in his ass. That's what it was. It was some very... I think he said both.

He said that... Oh, I'm going to do it both ways? Yeah. I think he said... I think he said he was going to do it both ways, but we were, yeah. And then he just, like, walked around my car a couple times. He also did see us unloading, like, costumes and... We looked a little gay.

What's gay about costumes? We did have a sword, though. We could have done something. The entire world wears costumes at least one day of year. That's what we should have done. We should have challenged him. On guard. But basically, we both flighted instead of fighted.

Uh-huh. But did you find him to be evil? I think he maybe was. Did you find him to be evil? evil. Yes or no. Yes or no. He would be evil to... Say yes or no. I think he was evil. Because if you're saying no, that means that maybe he did have to fight with everybody. Maybe insulting and mocking isn't enough.

It wasn't enough. Maybe in today's America, maybe it's not enough. You have to resort to physical violence. You have to fight with everybody. Everybody. He was also kind of an old guy. Sure. We probably could have fucked him if we wanted to. Yeah. But we really didn't want to that bad. No, I mean, we had to go. We had a lot of tech. We were busy. We had to set up for that show. I think the only thing that either of us said was I said okay. Yeah.

Yeah, that's what you should say. That's all you can say, right? Yeah. Yeah, but then if you say okay, it's like, maybe he'll mistake it as like the go ahead. But go ahead, man. I don't care. As long as we're done by eight o'clock, I have to load in for this show. You can do whatever to me.

I'm fine with it. What if I am evil, but I want friends and no one likes me? Huh. People generally don't like bad or evil people. The purpose of the article is to help you act evil for fun while pretending to be a character, not to actually become an evil person in your everyday life. If you want to have friends, you should be nice. Unless you can fight other people who are also evil.

Most evil people like to work alone and not with the help of people. But that is totally your choice. I love that this is like first half being like doing like, listen, this article, it's not real. It's about acting. You should be nice to people. Unless you go with other evil people, then you can be evil. I don't understand if this person's already evil, why are they even looking at this fucking article? They should be writing the article.

Good point. True. My two cents. But yeah, if you're evil, you have to have evil friends or else you'll have a war on your hands. No, you would not be getting along with folks. Or you can have a good friend and keep them close, but be secretly evil. But keep them closer. Yeah.

The most evil thing you can do is actually, I think, maybe be evil, right? For sure. But also have a second life where you are nice a la Barry. Do you think evil guys get on World of Warcraft and they play the good guys? Yes. Because they're so evil in person. Because whenever I play an MMO or any kind of RPG, I always go full evil because of how good I am.

Uh-huh. Right? So I'm always, I have gray skin. I'm playing the Old Republic. And I'm saying, Bastila, you're going to be my evil queen. I'm not helping them. I hate Carthonassus. But if a good guy plays Knights of the Old Republic,

he's probably got a blue lights. Or a bad guy. He's got a blue lightsaber. Yeah. I'm so evil. I have horns growing out of my head. head, which is how it should be, God should have made real life work as well, by the way. Yeah.

Will any tattoos make me evil? Yes. It depends on what kind of tattoos. You could research evil-looking tattoos, but keep in mind that a tattoo is permanent, so you want to make sure you'd want it forever. See, I got all these evil tattoos on me. I think tattoos are pretty evil. Dr. Evil right there.

You should have just gotten evil. That would have been a much, that would have actually been a cool tattoo. This is kind of goofy. This is goofy. It's goofy about getting Dr. Evil tattooed on you. This is hipster. That's not hipster. This is a hipster.

It's a giving meme account. It's a little memeish. This is like it could be. It's giving me Wednesday. Well, it was the first, it was the first tattoo that I got so that I wouldn't be scared of them. So you got, so you got Dr. Evil? A doctor evil makes me think of a good guy eventually in the end. You're going to cover this up one day.

I don't think I will. You feel my cold hand. Your fan. Jesus Christ. Is my hand cold? Yes. Yeah, why you're both, my hand, feel mine. It's cold in here.

Yours are warmish. Mine are so warm. You have a temperature regulation problem, and that's why you always turn the ACs to zero degree. I think us with cold hands are the ones that are bad. No. Well, whatever. I think I do have a temperature regulation.

I have normal circulation of my limbs. Don't turn purple at any time of my life every day. I sweat whenever I walk, even in the fall. Whenever you walk. Whenever I walk. My skin turns gray and Frankensteinian. Yeah, you do. You've got some color right now, though.

Frankenstein's Monsterian is. I'm having a green. Yeah. Your heaven, is that what you said? I'm heaven. To gamers, that means something else. What kind of music will make me evil? Try heavy-based dubstep songs.

Skrill X is a good place to start. I would say try Gwar. Yeah, try ghost. Yeah, that'll make you evil. The ghost is going to turn your evil real quick. Yeah, that's right. As well as horror movie soundtracks.

Yeah. Assault on Precinct 13. Yeah, the Twilight Zone theme song. You're entering a dimension. Exorcist theme song. That'll make you scared or evil. There's no difference to me. There isn't much difference. People tend to act evil when they're scared.

Yeah. The most evil-looking people are actually sometimes the nicest. I disagree. No. Yeah, I don't agree either. No, no, I agree. You agree? I mean, I don't agree.

I agree with him disagreeing. Against you. I agree against you. What other advice do they have? Would dressing in a more edgy way make me evil? No, it will likely not. What does it even mean to be edgily dressed? You wear a stud?

You wear a studded bell? Black shirt. You wear a black shirt? I almost wore a black shirt today, and I said, I'm going to look like Steve Jobs. I'm not going to do that. You have a shirt that says evil on it. Do I?

E dot VIL2. What is that? I don't know. I just thought it was funny that said evil on it. It's like a little picture of a dragon doing something on the back. Got some Godzilla thing on it. I don't fucking know. How can I be evil if everyone thinks

I'm cute and sweet? This is a brag. This is what I ask every day. This is the funny part. I think I only put in one of these, but there's like five of these questions. I think this is the same person who asked about the doll high-pitched voice.

Oh, okay. And they have a bunch of questions. What if I'm cute and I only dress in pink? Can I be evil? There's a bunch of stuff like that. You can't. If you want to look the part, try perfecting the smirk,

that cunning smile when you know something they don't, that look on your face when you suddenly hatch a perfect evil plan. This is like asking, this is like asking, I'm four foot eight. Can I make it in the NBA? No. You could. Neither do you guys think of my smirk. You look like a bird and you look like a pirate. Pirates are evil. Pirates are evil. Parrot. That's not a smirk. That's not a smirk at all. You look like Bill Scarsgard just then. Wait, how was mine? I'm changing my newest smirk. Like it. No. This is not a real smirk. You look ugly. You look like.

Igor. You look ugly as fuck. You both look like shit, honestly. You look like shit. What about this one? I don't. That one's not evil.

No, you don't, you're incapable of an evil face. You have an ugly one. What about this one? What? You just face is ugly. You can't do any of these. Is this face evil?

This is kind of bitchy. You're coming a bitch face. You look like you were coming. You only tried one face and it was bad so you don't really have any like. Well, watch this. no not evil at all that's conscious and intelligent that's face that's that's like english

teacher's facebook profile picture when you look like you find your english teacher on facebook and then his profile picture is him sitting at his computer like how can i make my cat and dog evil too you this is what you need you need a summoned pet yeah yeah well your cat is probably evil already but your dog might take a little more work you may want to consider giving your pets evil-looking accessories, like a dark-spiked collar, sinister-looking tags, or a bandana. If your pets are newly adopted, try giving them creepy or evil-sounding names like Vex or Crimson. I know a dog in this neighborhood called Necro. That's sick.

Yeah. He's a German Shepherd. He's like an all-black German Shepherd. Damn. He's very sweet, though. That's sick. And his owner's like this, like, Norwegian, like, black metal guy. Yeah.

It's cool. That's very tight. That's really cool. Yeah. That's extremely cool. Would wearing latex make me look more evil? Yes, latex and leather are pretty good choices for looking evil. Yeah, because of doctors.

They're wearing latex gloves. That is a really good point. And they're wearing the leather lab coat. Uh-huh. White leather. If the doctor, I go to. If there's Steve Martin and fucking the big plant movie. Yeah, plant the movie.

They should have called it plant the movie. They should have. That is basically the number one plant movie. There's no other movie that's more plant than that movie. It's true. Here's what I would have called that movie, though. There's a reverse vegetation. The reverse vegetarian. That's good.

The vegetable that eats a person. That would be a good tagline. Revenge of the reverse vegetarian. Revenge of the... Revenge of the reverse vegetarians are better... Yeah, that's true. Because a reverse vegetarian would be a plant. I would have called the movie.

Is that the one about the tomatoes or the plant? In tomato. I would call the movie. I would try and class it up a little bit, and I would title it, in which the plant terrifies. Oh. And sings. God damn.

In which a singing... In which the plant terrifies the musical. And here's what I would have put at the end of the movie. Finn. And I would have put at the beginning of the movie, players in alphabetical order. Yeah. I would have done all that shit. Yeah.

But they won't let me make movies. Would a luxury car fit my evil persona? It depends on the character you're playing. It could, though. I like the one person that said, this is not helpful. That must have been the dude who owns like a Mercedes-Benz dealership. No, it would have been a...

That's a hater. That's somebody with a junker jalopy. style car. Yeah. And it wasn't me. I don't have a jalopy. I fixed my mirror. You have a jalopy.

You have a jalopy. You have a jalopy. I do not. I want to be very scary and possessed. What should I do? Acting possessed needs a lot of work. Make sure the person you want to scare is a bit of the jumpy type. If the person doesn't seem very jumpy, focus on their weaknesses and try to scare them using

that. Focus on their weaknesses. This one, the answer isn't so good, but I do really like the question. I want to be very scary and possessed. You don't choose to be possessed, buddy. Yeah. The devil If you want it,

you're not going to get it. A watch pot never boils. Did you guys ever play the midnight game? No. Where you do a salt? I actually, no, I did play the midnight game a few times.

You put salt on the ground? You said the midnight game where you do assault? You do assault? Well, he interrupted me. Assault circle is what I was going to say. But assault would also be an evil style game.

No, my circle is not open for assaulting. I tried to play the midnight game. I never got any points, though. Put it in my circle. That's funny. Is being evil a subculture? Yes.

Evil is a mindset, not a subculture. There's no single way to look or act evil. Hippies are evil. They are so evil. Hippies are evil and then usually punks are kind. It's kind of reverse what you would think. You would think that hippies would be kind, but they like drugs and premarital stuff. Hardcore guys are straight edge.

Yeah. Hardcore guys are the exact opposite. And as long as you only pay attention to what they do during the day. Yeah. And when they're not in the presence of people who are younger than them. Yep. Then they're. Then they're upstanding citizens.

Yeah. They all work at a, they do acrobatics. Yeah, they all work at Trader Joe. They all wear that Hawaiian shirt. Yeah. Then they take it off and under it. They all wear watches. Yep.

They don't look at their phone. They look at their watch. I've been feeling for a minute that the tide is turning on Trader Joe's. And Trader Joe's has now become... Has it fallen? I think Trader Joe's is cringe. Yes. I'm sorry.

I don't like saying that. I don't want to have to say this. This is the kind of thing you'll only hear. But as a cultural commentator, Trader Joe's... It's time to call it. I'm ready. I've seen enough. I'm ready to call it.

It's over. It's over. Trader Joe's is cringe. Fuck you, Joe. I mean, Joe's over. Joe, Ming, Jose. It's Joe for me. All of them.

Yeah. I don't care how good that everything in the Alote dip is. I don't care how convenient the pork belly is. It's over. I'm going somewhere else. I'm taking my business to Aldi. I'm going to Aldi. Is Aldi over?

You know too much about Trader Joe's to be dissing him. You clearly are a patron. You're asking if Aldi was over. Aldi never began. Damn. all these uh all these nuts in your face how many all these all these all d never began yeah all they never we're never doing it's by the way when i say trader joes is over every single alternative supermarket is over food whole foods we're going local alldy no we're

not going local not even we're doing the we're doing whatever the big chain supermarket is stop and Shop, Harris, Teeter, Publix, Cropa. Market Basket. Market Basket. Market basket has been a little over, but they could be back soon. But right, for now, it's over. For now. We do not, and anything, by the way, anything that is local to an area is over as well.

Yep. The stop and shop is local to the northeast. But it's not like people don't have pride of tears. From now on, we are only going to any supermarket where they have one in every town in America. Yeah. If there's even one town that doesn't have. it, we're not going. Shaz, you're done.

Every supermarket. Or it all has to be owned by the same company. Hanford Supermarkets, you're done. Walmart grocery stores are back. Yeah, is what I'm saying. And you can actually, and here's how back they are, you can actually buy Wagyu beef at a Walmart. Yeah, so that's huge, guys.

You know what else you can get at Walmart? Every other stuff in your house. You can get a curtain rod. and they have Wagyu steak and beer depending on the area and they have good deals on movies DVDs

and hey Trader Joe's here's why you're over by the way no DVDs no DVDs first of all but also guys no CDs hey guys if I'm buying an avocado I don't need to see a picture

of the farmer I don't need to know his story I don't need to know that he's been farming avocado since he was 15 with his family shut the fuck Fuck up. And here's another thing, Trader Joe's.

Why do you have all these parodies around the store? Yep. Fatality. Why do you have these parodies that say like Empire strikes, whatever, some kind of thing. Hey, Trader Joe. Nice chalk boards. How about I outline you in chalk when I kill you? Yep.

Outline. Outline you in shock. That's right. And you said outlaw. I'm going to outlaw you. You are in. outlaw now also Joe and I'm pointing to a camera we don't have but we left all the cameras in Caleb's car yep that's why we have just two cameras today now I'm pointing at this one but

because of the show we did and Trader Joe you're gonna you have a fearless flyer I will become the fearsome flyer uh-huh and I will haunt your store with wings and Costco welcome back Costco's back Costco is Sam's Club Sam's Club well Come back. Sam's Club is still technically Walmart. B.Js. Guess what? You never left because it's always been funny to say your name.

But Trader Joe's. Oh, Trader Joe. You poor bastard. Oh, little Trader Joe. Hawaiian shirts. You still think that's funny. You're making me gag. You're making Cameron throw up.

If you want to switch all the girls to bikinis and all the guys to suits, though, you will be back. You will be back. That's the only bargain we can make with you. If you have a corporate hose and CEOs party. Yep. every day you will be back but for now you're done

and that's enough on Trader Joe and we can finish now yeah we can finish now is that all the slides I don't remember let's check we'll check really quickly

can I wear fancy clothes and have a fancy hairstyle when acting evil can I wear makeup as well of course in fact that will up the evil factor I think that a fancy clothes is okay but a fancy hairstyle is not evil

I agree unless you well unless you're some kind of dark judge that's a wig though that's a hairstyle yeah is the evil laugh

cliche when acting evil not necessarily just try to put your own spin on it let's all put our own spin on it okay ready that's a classic there's no okay okay okay

wait oh wait I got it I got one are you ready yeah that's an evil if so you know somebody who laughs like that they're evil simple as

how do I imply I'm evil without being evil. Dress like you are evil. The way you dress can imply that you're evil but you could be the nicest person ever. Here's my implications. That's just evil.

My implications. What if you maybe put it on your ID card? Here's my implication. Here's my assumption. What if they put that on your driver's license when they ask what's your height? What's your sex? Evil.

What's your age? My age is six. Are you evil or good? Uh-huh. And you could just say, well, I'm evil. Yeah. I came here for a more broad context than theater.

With that in mind, do you have any more tips on becoming a villain. Villains never think they're the bad guy. They never see themselves a sadistic or wrong. They're the hero of their own story. Keep that in mind. That's wrong.

I think this next one might be the last one. No. Do I have to wear accessories like a choker? My mom doesn't allow me to. Here we go. This is the last one. What if you accidentally murder people while acting evil? Will it still be considered a crime after you stop being evil?

And the person says, of course, murder is murder. If you're not legally insane, you'll be charged with murder. Oh, my God. So there's no such thing as they got rid of the evil. There's the evil defense. Your honor, my client was evil at the time of the murder. But he's become nice. Oh, God.

He was just acting evil when he did the murder. And it was an accident. A lot of evil villains and movies kind of get off on that at the end. If they are turned to the good side because they realize that it's wrong to be an environmentalist or whatever. Why are so many evil villains environmentalists also? It is funny. Why is that going on? What's going on with that?

Eco terrorism. Yeah. Yeah. Why is that being. evil. That seems like it's nice. Well, they're just guys who blow stuff up. Yeah, true. Well, they're blowing up bad stuff.

I'm an ego terrorist. Uh-huh. Yeah, that's right. You figure out what that means. All right. Goodbye. All right. If you, uh, the, what day?

Monday. The, shareholder meeting is on Monday the 24th. Is it the 24th? And if you want to see me open for Dan Lakata in Austin, Texas, I will be there the weekend of the 28th, 28th and the 29th is two shows. There's a real good poster that my old roommate Neil drew where Dan is Bam and I am

Fat Phil from CKY3. You don't need to plug the poster when you plug the show. I like the poster. I have to pee. You can keep plugging stuff. And then on the 26th I have a, there's a show with the Pitbull Impersonator. He's hosting the show.

And then I think maybe the 20, yes the Sunday, two days, before this, three days before this, will be my birthday, the 23rd, the day before the shareholder meeting. If you don't have anything planned for my birthday, guess what? You will get struck by the back of my hand. And Cameron will be at my birth. No, I'm not. Have you guys ever tried remote viewing? Yes. Yeah, Jubio's doing that right now. Did you succeed? Yeah, I actually can see my bedroom with my eyes closed at all times.

I'm going to try it right now. Okay, where are you going to go? Where should I go? I don't know. You don't go, you see. Where should I see? Try the surface of the moon. Okay.

And usually you draw it. Well, I'm not very good at drawing, Cameron. My art form is my words. Okay, then describe your thing. I see some seriously white ground. And I see a bunch of... Okay. black crap out there

which is a might call space okay and wait what's that I'm oh god I'm seeing a pale blue dot oh great it's a dot a pale moon is very far away

I'm seeing some pale blue I didn't say which moon I was on oh I guess you didn't say you were on a moon at all well now that I think about it now that I think about it I'm on a moon and I'm seeing a pale blue dot oh but wait what am I seeing the pale blue dot instead of love

I'm seeing hate and I'm seeing racial prejudice and sexism and worse of all misogyny and also kids being unfairly treated by their parents and also there's five or six green monsters all around and they are making something some kind of giant weapon

a weapon yep and also I can tell that one of them is the most popular of the six because the other ones are kind of just listening to what he's saying and also he's the tallest one but does he have like a special kind of hair he has an elvis hair do yeah he has an elvis greasy that style hair dude that slick back Elvis rock and roll that we all know and oh my god are the other one's bald or do they all have their own distinct hairstyles that does find their personality well basically one of them has okay so there's six of them one of them has a Elvis hair. Okay. One of them has very long hair. One of them has shorter, shorter-ish hair.

Does he have glasses? One of them has Bob, very kind of cute. Okay. The bow? And then three of them, or the remaining two, have no hair at all.