Podcast About List - Ep. 261 - Gemini Clock Theory ft. Conner O'Malley

Episode Date: October 4, 2023

Conner came to visit to learn about the deadliest martial art that also happens to have been invented in the past 5 years, he is now a killing machine. Check out endorphinport.com Watch the full video for this episode youtube.com/@PodcastAboutList Buy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

Okay, I'm changing the calendar to October. Okay, let's see what it is. Okay, let's see which fireman is on the calendar this month. Let's see. Thomas. How old is he? 16. Oh, his underwear says help puppies.

Whoa. Puppies, remember that? Did you guys remember? Oh, puppies on wrestling, the old guy? I don't remember that. Wait, they got a big boy. Oh, Jordan. South Metro.

Can you read the text? It says hashtag help puppies. They all say, all of their underwear says hashtag help puppies. They all have the help puppies underwear. Yeah. I need some of that underwear. I wonder who made that, like, PSD. Honestly, if I had, if I had underwear that said hashtag help puppies, I would be sagging all day every day.

I'm going to be real. That was good. It looks like Jordan at South Metro has been eating a little too much candy. this October. He's not quite as shredded as the rest of these firefighters, man. So if the house is on fire and he comes up to pull you out of bed, you say, mm-mm. No, because he's trying to find my candy stash. He runs

in as fast as possible, opens the fridge and everybody else is where he comes out, he's got like a giant log of salami that he's fireman carrying over his shoulders. I know he's taking it from my house as a tip. He sees some smoke coming from someone's backyard and he runs back there pretending he's going to put out of fire, but he's grabbing the meats off the grill.

It's brisket. you know it's a thankless job I do this every day do you have to tip firefighters no but that's what I was thinking that's what I was thinking do you think like a firefighter ever like you know while they're saving somebody out of their house or whatever like they're throwing a bucket of water around and shit that's what they do do you use the thing I think they take stuff

this has to have been talked about right yeah that in a comedy sense so to speak in an essence that a firehouse you're just getting paid first of all after 9-11 my dad was like fuck firefighters yeah because he was a city worker and he was like all these fucking fight he's like first of all they'll work like two days a week and then they pull scab jobs the rest of the week they're fucking building decks and shit they don't do anything and he was like complaining that like all they do is like sit around the firehouse making spaghetti getting you better be you better be careful my uncle bobby he's a firefighter i got a cousin firefighter

yeah and my dad would say this to his face that's badass dude it does seem like... They get to ride the pole. They get to pay the pole. You just get to hang out with your friends all fucking day.

The pole can't be that much faster in the stairs. No. You're running down the stairs. That's such a 1920s like faster. We go to pull in.

I need to get in my cool car now. I need to be in my truck immediately. I do feel like when you're like 17 you don't know what the fuck to do with your life. Instead of doing the military,

you should just be a firefighter. There's zero chance of you ever dying. Oh my God. being a firefighter is literally the midpoint between joining the military or running away to join the circus. You're right. The pole. The pole. The coal. The fire truck

like the clowns. Yeah, you're so fucking right. It literally is that's what you do if you can't decide. And there's a dog you get to play with all day. You and all your you and all your co-workers own a dog. Name spot. Name spot because of his spots. Because of his spots. You get to do calendars. And not only that,

gay, straight, by, Latino, white, black, all people turned on by firefighters. Yeah. True. Do you have to rescue me or get this shit? All the firefighter, every fight, there's first pan firefighter. Ooh. Do you think this is going to be, it probably isn't now, but do you think in 10 or 20 years this is going to start being a serious? Well, oh, oh my, and it's a fire truck.

A sign of going off right now. You heard us talking shit. Yeah, we're pretty close to one. Basically, this podcast studio is a, like, that's our firehouse. It is basically, if you live in a firehouse, it's a fantasy factory. Yeah. You have foam pits. you have unlimited snacks you get to do whatever you want they're smoking weed i learned you have

lockers you have lockers what's that about you should you should watch a little show called rescue me because i learned that sometimes they have depression same with my mom my dad said rescue me changes his life rescue me and sons of anarchy my mom loved everything on fx yeah i i was doing this joke for a little bit didn't really go over it too well but i guess it'll probably go over better on a podcast um of um this like this holiday season go home to your uncle's uncles and your dads and tell them, did you hear they're rebooting, rescue me? And I'm like, no, I didn't. And be like, yeah, they're rebooting it, but it's an all NB non-binary cast.

And here's the fucked up part. Dennis Leary is switching over to NB to still be the lead. Because he's got the haircut. Yeah. He does look like I, when I was a kid, I got him and Glenn Close confused all the time. I thought they were the same person. He really is like. a, it's such a misstep

if you're, we got a lot of Irishness on the pod right now. Yeah. If you are Irish, you cannot for one second think that you look hot or cool. No. No. No. No. It's the worst thing ever. We have something wrong with us. There's something in the back

of your head all the time that is like you have to, you have to put it in the back of your head and say like I'd look like a piece of shit right now. God said we need we need people dead in the first five minutes of every war. Yeah. We need a, Somebody's got to be on the front line.

Even, even I feel like Irish people, like hot Irish celebrities all still looked at like they maybe got burned. That fucking guy from the killing of the sacred deer. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. He literally looks like actually reconstructed his face. This is like a Rogan, huh? Yeah, yeah, it is exactly. We do have a Jamie.

Yeah, whatever that guy's name is, a Hoban goat, you know, I know exactly the guy you're talking. Who the fuck is? Oh, Barry Keegan? Yeah, that. Oh, who's this? He looks like a changeling. Barry Keegan played the Joker

For real, we need to see And he has a bad spelling of his name Yeah, just search Barry Oh, he's the first one He's got an O in it Key Hogan Look at this guy, dude Oh yeah

He looked like he The elf on the shelf Come to Life Yeah, exactly Look, they even tried to hot him up They even put him in underwear Yeah, they put him in pink underwear Buddy, it looks like he got four bellies

I mean this is their This is that country putting their best forward Yeah, this is their absolute top of the line. And we were there together. Yeah. We had a little rendezvous. We had a rendezvous. And I remember thinking like everyone, first of all, everyone in North Ireland looks like

Mr. Beast. That would be hard for me. Everybody in Ireland was so ugly. It kind of blew my mind. It was weird because there were people. There were, I mean, yeah, what I was saying before is like, I feel like, obviously, I think on average people are fat are here. All the guys look

fucked. Yeah. How about the girl? I saw maybe, like, I feel like three of the fattest people have ever saw in my life were in Ireland. But yeah, all they eat is like carvery and shit. Yeah. Well, that's what you stick with me forever that you said that they eat Thanksgiving every day. It is.

You said every restaurant is Thanksgiving food. It's so crazy, man. It really blew my mind how they live over there. Yeah. I think they're so cool. They do think they're cool. We have beer, y'all. Yeah, we have a, we're oppressed.

No, you're not. No. I'm done with this shit. I'm 100% Irish or close to it. You're not, no, no, no. We did your results on the air. I don't, I'm done with this. What are you?

100% Irish. Nice. Are you also 100%? I think I'm 25% English. Yeah. Wait, no, that's good. I think that's good. Yeah.

I just remember that because of the Civil War shit, I don't think that. I got, I got full citizenship, though. In Ireland? Yeah, foreign birth registry. Lucky. What the hell? How does that work? They're desperate for.

Yeah, if you're grandma... If you can trace back your lineage... I can't. Wait, really? Two generations, yeah, you get citizenship. It's two generations, right? I think so. You get passport and then...

If my mom gets a passport, because she can trace it back two generations, but then I think I'm the cutoff... Like two generations ago, somebody had to be in Ireland? Yeah. I think so, yeah. My mom's...

My grandmonds would be. I don't think I can do that. There ain't no shot. Like four or five, maybe... I think it's like... I think me, my entire lineage is Irish people fucking each other

in America for like the last 200 years just like shitty poor Irish people we went back and visited the family and like saw

that like little one car garage that like both sides of the family lived in everybody like jerking off they got that yurt did you meet anybody

I did I met the family and they're they're fine I don't know you expect like oh my god be careful

they're listening to this they are watching this they're watching this They're watching and listening right now. I googled the village that my dad was like, oh yeah, our family is from like this village and I looked it up. And yeah, I feel like you kind of expect to be like,

oh, wow, it's like Ireland, but it's just like a town. It's a shitty town. Yeah. It's a village. In my head, it probably, it looks probably like exactly like Northern New Hampshire. I'm imagining that my family lived in like Eldon Ring world. Well, that's the thing. You go overseas and you don't realize like in Italy,

they still have to have a gas station somewhere. I still go to the grocery store. Yeah, there's still just like random shit that looks terrible. Irish comic Shane Glyffe Hold on. Clifford. Shane Glyph?

Shane Cliff? No, you don't? Shane Cliff. You clearly don't know this. He's a guy you're making up. And he looks just like him. You're making his guy up on the spot. There's no such thing as Shane Clifford.

Oh, okay. Yeah, I know about that guy. And he was a manager of a grocery store in like Western Ireland. And, yeah, it just sounds horrible. One is like his existence was horrible. Just fucking managing media light and flower.

They all live in some of the most beautiful land in the world and they all hate it because they've been there. And also it sucks. It's rainy every day. Yeah. I don't want to live there, man. I won't live there. Talks weird.

I refuse to, hey, if you try to get me to live there, not going to do it. Uh-uh, not happening. They also don't have a, again, they don't have like a gray entertainment export, right? There's no, like... They have bag... Nope. Except for bagpies.

They don't have bad pipes either. That's Scotland. Oh, you're right. They don't even have dry British comedy. Exactly. They have this kind of wet comedy, kind of Mrs. Brown's boys. They do have the...

I mean, like, they're the only country to like recognize Palestine. That is true. But they're a little too proud of it. They're a little bit... That's one of the first things our tour guide told us. It's like, yeah, in Ireland,

I'm like, we kind of, we believe in the underdog. So, yeah, we all support Palestine over here. But I think that there's something like, you know, your uncle who's like, uh, construction worker or whatever. And he's like, I'm actually a lib. Oh, yeah. Like there's that energy. So it's like, all right.

I'll support you. It's crazy to say it like as a country. Like, yeah, so in this country, we actually support that. Support it calling it. Saying it's supporting the underdog. Yeah. I think it's fucking nuts. I think that I, I've had a couple of.

family members that have become like after Trump become like Democrats and I think I would have rathered them stay like fully yeah my mom now loves Pete Buttigieg and she used to say that Obama was using swine flu to put Christians in FEMA camps and then 10 years later she's like Pete Buttigieg is awesome he reminds me of subway my family and my family fucking loves Pete too yeah what is that about man he's because they get to be like star on my shirt I voted for a gay guy. Yeah. Yeah.

Which, I mean, he's not even gay. No. He's fucking pussy left and right. He loves it, dude. He's at the Elysian every night in L.A. Yeah. The stories that I've heard,

the stories I've heard about Pete Buttigieg. Well, first of all, he's eating ass and working the clit and going with that. That's why people thought he was gay. Just soaking down his arm. I've heard that he'll book an Airbnb and he'll put a sign on the outside of the door that says no boys allowed.

He always walks around. He literally has 12 girls in there. He literally walks around East, East L.A. Walking around with, it looks like he just finished, like, eating a watermelon, like a cartoon. It's just, like, dripping down. And he gets in the elevator with someone and he says, and he says, smell my finger, arms, and chest. Smell my leg up to my knee. He's going up.

He's, he's telling these 12 girls. It smells like a girl's mouth. It smells like pussy. I was fucking a girl with my butt Here's what I was thinking Pete's got a concave chest And he's telling the girls Like you sit on my face

And you don't leave Until it's filled With female nut And then I want all the other girls To suck it He's crazy man Yeah dude I need to

He fully completely He has a Sibian That he has on wheels that he can you imagine he wheels he's got a van

that's got a sitting in the back can you imagine how bad camp David would have smelled if he had

been elected president oh my God so much pussy walking left and right secret service

like assassinating people I'm gonna go public that he's straight and he made

me come harder than anyone else blow your dick off robocop bang he has an 18 inch

dick I heard that huge dick he has one leg he's like FDR. He walks like FDR. He's always got a blanket on his lap. So no one. No one. He doesn't want anyone to know he's art all the time. He's like,

he's addicted to blue shoes. Not only is he straight. He's like the most perfect type of straight. He's only into like 35 and above. Yeah. He's like, I don't. And he's like, and he's. Yeah. Cheetah bra. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. He does. They do the, the Drake bra thing at the Pete Buttigieg. Oh, yeah. Oh my God. You should see the bras that Buda judge has. in his basement is just like his basement looks like a bar in Florida where they like staple bras to the moon. Yeah, it's just dollar bills

and bras stapled all across the fucking. You remember being like a kid in places like that and being like this place is awesome. Like Hooters. I never My parents never took me there. I feel like there's always like you're there's like a place where it's like this is a scuzzy like. Yeah. Yeah.

My mom just to take me to this bar to play pool. She would just play pool and I would uh and drink and I would sit there. And it was, they had, my version that was they had flat bill hats stapled all across the top. I was like,

this is paradise. I would sit there and look at all the hats. You ever went to Charlie's in Harvard Square? No. That was where I'm my family. Charlie Stakes in the mall? In the square? No, no, no.

Do you guys have where you're from? I know there's none in New England, really. But in the Midwest, is there bikini barista places? No. Not bikini barista places, but there was a place called Crabby,

Kim's on Western Avenue that was next door to like the last arcade that ever existed and they had bikini girls and my dad knew Kim whoa wow the crabby Kim and then it and then crabby Kim had like a long prolonged death or my dad was like one of the only people that was like taking care of him he's like I got to go okay everybody who owns a local Cavalier and Everyone who owns a local business dies the most atrocious

as possible and it's still public you see it like shaking there was this guy who ran this paintball field in North Carolina so obviously he's fucked he's gonna die

in the most awful way and a paintball accident he had he had diabetes ate the paint balls he had diabetes and then he lost both of his legs

and then but he wore like prosthetic legs to drive and then he died he was taking a van full of kids to a paintball competition that he had a heart attack while he was tried. Did he like crash?

I think it wasn't like a bit, he was like at a stop sign or some shit. It was like not, nobody got injured except for him dying. Yeah. And some kid was like, yeah, it looked like he got shot by a sniper. He was tried. They took him out. Would you use training kids for a militia at the paintball? Yeah.

They were using the big like the paintball guns they had in Childs Play 3 that looked like guns. If you own a barbecue place, you get struck by lightning. It's that simple. It's the worst, because you're so fucking stressed all the time. And you're like, I need to make 30 cents this month or I am like going to have to kill myself. It's like the margins are so thin.

There's a bakery in my town that exploded. Really? No, I think somebody maybe got hurt. I don't think anyone died, but it fully, it blew up. Wow. Like windows blowing out of the front type of thing. That was an insurance money. That was an insurance money scam. Greek lightning? What's up? Greek lightning?

Yeah, yeah. I said a tribute to across the street. But I remember it was called Olin's Bakery. And I remember I saw, after it happened, I saw somebody driving around with a bumper sticker that said Bush did Olin's. Whoa, that's actually fun. Olin's fans.

What was that? Just kind of a play. I just got it. I got it. Well, just said, now that bumper sticker would say Olin's fans. True. That could be good.

And it would have a lot with the logo. It'd be interesting. Yeah. All these beautiful women on the computer. There's this. There's this place in, I think, did I take you guys to Flamin Amies when you came in one? Yes, you did. We did go to Flamin Amies.

That place used to be so sexually charged where it had like bikini photos all over the wall. That's because you live near the beach. Like me and camera, I died. There's no, if you were, if you got sexual, if you got sexual in New England, it was like, they would spray you with a hose. You can't be sexual on New England Beach. No, no, no. It's not possible. I mean, Hampton Beach is like, that's, people do that there.

And it's like, that's why everyone calls it the Walmart Beach. Br, I remember fucking on Revere Beach. Yo. Getting a Kelly's roast beef, putting your dick in that. It's on those rocks. Wait, you mean, you can't be sexual. You can't have like a... There's just...

It's too gross to be sex. The weather is too gross. It's nice. In the south, it's too hot down there. It's like, well, I gotta take off my clothes anyway, but up north, it's like... It's a bunch of rocky beaches. We don't have... You don't have...

You guys don't have surfers. Yeah. We have surfers on the Cape. There was this girl I knew... Not as much, probably, but... There was this girl I knew who was... She would surf. She was a big surfer and she was like,

she looked like a wallet, like she had the most fucked up skin of all time. And she, I caught two different times I pulled up to her at a red light and I saw her smelling her armpits. She's like driving and just taking two big whiffs. This happened two different times. That's allowed.

That is cool. You can do that in your own car. It's just like a different kind of person I don't see up here. You didn't fall in love instantly? Like when you saw like a girl being as dumb as you, you didn't feel like, okay, maybe we should. If she had like,

Yeah. If she had both of her hands, you know how when you sit at your house, you put both your hands on your balls when you watch TV? I put my pinky on my balls. I have one. Just the pinky. Yeah, just the pinky in there. Pinky through the waistband.

I call it Dr. Eve. My wife did not understand that for many years that I watched TV. If I'm wearing boxers, both of my hands, holding my balls. Put on a fucking episode of Married with Children. Exactly. I want to see what the Bundys are doing. I hold my balls to jeopardy. I'm doing it in case there's a nuclear blast.

Yeah, you're, that's a little bit of a cushion. Yeah. You're squeezing your balls because it's the buzzer. Do you ever kind of like take your balls and like hold it up like a sheet and then scratch it like that? Chicken skin. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

From, uh, waiting. Yeah. What a day? Oh, yeah, waiting. The brain. The bird. The owner of Mint Mobile. Uh-huh.

Star of Waiting. And the odor. This fucking guy. Aviation gin. Aviation gin. I want to see him like personally cancel people's accounts. Yeah. You know, I don't fucking care.

You can't pay the bills. You should have paid, like, yeah. This is Ryan and he looks into the camera. We have sent your account to collections. He says like, um, this is what happens when you don't pay. I want to hang out with him so bad. I get so fucked up on aviation.

Jim make mint mobile prank calls to people. Oh, yeah. Yes. You know, he's the binder with all the phone numbers. Oh, dude. A binder. Yeah. You send out the alerts to every.

single person's account. It says your phone will self destruct in five minutes. And then the cool logo pops up. He's listening to the phone calls. That said that there was a nuclear bomb dropping. Only the Mint Mobile people got that. Oh, my God. He could do some epic pranks with Minnoblob and you're just wasting it.

If you have this phone, you aren't gay. Damn. Alert. That's not a good selling. Amber alert. There is a guy holding this phone. Did you guys see the video where Jim Kerry talks about? He was in Hawaii when the nuclear, like,

alert went out like a couple years ago no and it pissed me off so badly man he was like yeah i got the nuclear alert nuclear alert on my phone and i was at such peace just knowing that i was going to pass away and i had the most amazing life ever well you see you're like running to whatever the newest or the the the closest like nuclear uh basement whatever that is yeah fallout shelter yeah and you see jim carrie just like sitting He's got to know something that we don't. He's completely, he would be so happy if he died without anybody finding out what he's done.

True. That's a very good point. To everybody in his life. But he also said he was there with his daughter and he was like, yes, she was freaking the fuck out, but I was just sitting there. Chill. Shut the fuck up. I was making funny faces to calm her down. This is all, you have no ideas.

It's all fantasy. That's his whole thing. I heard he was there to paint a palm tree. is there to practice painting painting on the pond tree or paint a paint a pantry on a canvas Do you remember a picture of Ronald Reagan Do you remember in like 2018

he posted a photo a painting that he made of Trump as Darth Mall? That's sick It genuinely I did want to buy it so bad Trump at like CPAC with Darth Mall makeup on Oh my God that'd be incredible Jim Carrey is the guy

that the Dali image generator is taking jobs away from. He is the one guy who was painting shit like Trump as Darth Mall. And he's getting put out of work by the AI images. And the AI is training on his images too. You can type in the Dali 3 right now. You can type in like Trump eating poop in the style of Jim Carrey and it comes up.

Well, they won't do eating poop. As you found out, you have to say eating mud. Yeah, you have to say a messy mud pie. Mud pie? Yeah, messy mud pie. We had some Trump is Darth Mall. Is there a photo of him? I don't know if there's the paint.

Oh, yeah, there it is right there. Well, there's Jim Carrey. Wait, which one? I was, I think if you clicked that article, it'll show up. When I was in first grade, I watched Pet Detective a thousand times. Yeah. Oh, yeah, dude, of course. Oh, well, it doesn't have.

Oh, my God. They took it down. They took it down the picture. Wait, who did? Who was in power when? This got taken down. Who was in power? I don't know, man.

You got taken off of X as well. I can't believe we figured this out just now. I think Carrie. This is sad. This is sad as fuck. Type it into the way back machine. I'm all in on X. I bought a bunch of stock.

I've been exing all day. I just constantly Xing. I act like it's 2009. Like, got a sandwich today. Like, you might be like pedophile jokes. Like X,

you know, 2009 pedophile jokes. Just trying to be epic on the computer nonstop. It would give me an example of a 2009 pedophile joke you're doing. It's like I'm a pedophile. I'm a pedophile. Said no one ever. that actually can you

and then you're part of it and say except for pedophiles except for pedophiles and then 10 years later you have to you have to make some post under that one I don't understand

what this means I did not mean I don't even remember posting this at the time I think I got hacked I think I was actually honestly I was probably off that scissurp yeah exactly

yeah all those posts of like comedians from 2008 where they're being racist and they just respond like the opioid epidemic has affected us all at the time i had just broken my big toe i learned what percissette was at a party home with

four thousand pills and i just started micro blogging i figured out if you crush the oxies and cook them you can shoot it just like her so sorry sorry not sorry and here's how you smoke oxies off a tin foil have you guys ever taken a bunch of barbiturates or downers no i've taken uh i used to steal not steal really just take oxy out of the medical cabinet in my house because my mom hurt her leg when I was a kid and I just did it a bunch but I didn't like it it was just funny to do drugs

how many did you do just take like one oh well you're just taking what the doctor is said to do yeah I did I would take one and it would make me really tired I just had one beer what the fuck I'm supposed to be drunk I did that too I had a space heater and what I would do is I would take one of the oxies and then I would sit in my bed and put

the space heater under the blanket insane fire hazard and I would just like cook myself for three hours like three different things you're supposed to like yep parental supervision steal a mike's hard limited yeah sit down there one oxy mike's hard space heater fall asleep listening to a pete holmes pot yeah oh man rainy day y'all oh i'm cozied up i'm listening to you made it weird the john glazer episode where he gets mad about the e-trade baby yep damn that was pretty epic it's weird i've been saying pretty weird for a while we need to bring we need to have more like comedy drama like that

just for the wax you know what i mean yeah yeah we need more beef we need more like i feel like the guy i feel like the only people who are still beefing like that is like the the comedy mothership guys down in austin texas and like all that stuff is like such a mirror of like you got you drank my special bourbon yeah exactly yeah kind of like what my brother and his friends are beefed yeah exactly You drink my horse's tail bourbon that I had in my cabinet. You know, that's $80. You don't touch Bert's bourbon. No, no.

I mean, you've obviously, you know, I've seen more videos of these people than I've spent time with my father in, like, the past five years. Yeah. Like, I'm so aware of like Bert's drinking and what needs to happen with it. Do you watch Too Lazy to Try? No, I might. Is that YouTuber that just like... He goes over all the drama. Yes.

Yes. He's best. We love him. I watch him before I fall asleep. If you're shot out, too easy to try. He makes these videos where he's like always saying like these people are stupid. Fuck these people. But it's clear that he listens to every single.

He's like in hell. Yeah. He has to listen to every single one of these. He listens to every single one. Yeah. Yeah. It is from a place of love. It's like he's a fan.

So Theo Vaughn and Brendan Chob are officially beefing because Theo went on this podcast. and didn't even acknowledge him, which I don't even know why he would do that. That's every single video. I want to be the subject. He has to make them. I think he's like a more evolved human being. He is a historian.

No, he's like a parasite of what he has to live inside of these guys. Yeah. Brains. He also has also probably, I mean, we should, I think he's making money off of these videos. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's got a Patreon where he details like the crazy. the craziest stern clips and stuff.

I've been going back on old stern. Oh, me too. Do you think that if this, the, if the, like, Burt Kreischer documentary guy wasn't doing that

and wasn't making money off that, he would be like a, like a civil war historian or something. That's the thing. He just loves history. He just, he's a big history buff. Like if Kafka was alive now,

he would just be like trying to fuck people and Ridgewood. Yeah. He'd be doing like weird tweets. Everyone. I'm not trying to do a bug. I'm going to stand on front of this girl's apartment for the next day of the next day I'm acting like a bug.

Somebody's... I'm dressed up like a spider. Trying to climb up the building. Instead of writing one of the most epic, weird, crazy... It was odd. It's really, have you, I read it recently. What, the transformation? Yeah.

The metamorphosis. Metamorphosis. I read it last year. Yeah, it is funny. I read it in college. I read like his collection of short stories. I bought it. It was cool, man.

He's just a classic pervert, weird guy alone in his room. You know that he was... All the best authors were huge perverts. Oh, yeah. And alcoholics. You ever think about... There's all this stuff coming out about alcohol recently, where they say it's bad for you. Blame it on the...

That was the beginning. Beginning of the end. And then this fucking piece of shit, Andrew Huberman started saying, yeah, it's bad to drink alcohol. You got to get drunk every day. all day. That's what I'm saying. Especially if you're doing comedy. But how were every... I had a couple drinks on the drive over here.

Thank God, dude. You think that's straight Canada dry? No, uh, mm-mm. Pure. Aviation gin up in there. Canada wet. Canada wet. Completely wet. Well, that's, all these old authors also,

I was talking to somebody about this, that they all, like, were in a studio apartment, and then there was, like, some, like, a 15-year-old girl would bring them, like, a tray of broth. every day and then they want to marry her

every great book was literally written because some yeah some like 37 year old guy had the most terrifying obsession with another person

in the world yeah it's all and it's always either yeah it's always either like a 13 year old girl who lived across the street from them

or it's like a 70 year old guy but you weren't that they had a crush on but weren't allowed to be gay yeah every every piece of like porcelain like all their porcelain

mugs had lead paint on the side of them, so they're drinking just straight lead. Exactly. But now everyone who would be, everyone who would be a Melville in a Hemingway or whatever. Nowadays they go on Twitter and they can say, I'm thirsty AF for this guy. True. They're allowed to publicly be gay on Twitter. Well, they're allowed to, yeah, have multiple personalities

online, like be, you know. That's why nobody's writing books that are longer than 200 pages anymore. No, no. That's right. Damn true. Yeah. But that's what, that's the thing, man. Speaking of books that are longer than 200 pages, maybe that's actually. Oh, you want to talk about. Well, I do want to say this about, I was talking to Steve Smith about going to like PTA meetings as like a father getting at like the podium and be like reading fucking sucks. It's like kind of like anti-groomer, but like for reading. It's fucking sucks. It's

stupid. It's boring. Nobody wants to do anymore. I want the whole library gone. Or at least replace with DVDs. Ban all the books. Ban every single one of the books. Burn every book. Replace it with too lazy to do. try video. Too lazy to try and all the books in the library are going to be replaced with DVDs. Jackass, bumfights, when they first started putting DVDs in a library, I said, I like this trend, but then it stopped with eight. Yeah. They never had more than like eight DVDs at my fucking library. They had a crazy array of DVDs at my library. Really? I love to look at them. Was it encroaching on the books? No, they had a whole section. See, I would like to go to be a

library science type of person if it was like basically a blockbuster, but I guess not. Oh, wait, I have to say one more thing. We were talking about Stern. Sam sent me a screenshot the other day of somebody, you know, people just post videos of Beetlejuice on Twitter all the time. And somebody, somebody replied under it and was like, who is this guy? And what the hell does he have?

He sent me a screenshot like a YouTube short where somebody is explaining Beetlejuice and it's just like the thumbnail is a photo of Beetlejuice and the caption is just, what is mentally wrong with him? Our goal is to get him on here.

Yeah, we want him. Does he live in New York? I think so. Yeah. He lives. He's like a bird down the street. Yeah. People see him all the time.

Yeah, he walks around. He's got a schnauzer. How come nobody has photo? You know that photo of, um, what's his name? He's a guy that directed Annie Hall. Woody Allen. Woody Allen and Epstein. Not how nobody's put beetle juice in that.

All three of them walking down the street. Well, if you follow him online, he probably will do that. Because he puts himself on like Mani Pachio's body. He does everything. He puts himself on everybody's body. Yeah. Yeah, he's pretty beast.

Maria Waza, man. Oh, yes. We have something special to show you, Connor. Which also, our guest today is Connor. Yeah. What's up, y'all? Thank you so much for having me. Of course.

Of course. Do you think it looks? Does this look good? You have a like gum in your hair or something. Yeah. You're trying to give yourself a. middle part of hair. Oh, thank you. Yeah, I think I'm going to keep rocking this for a little bit.

We did an episode a little while ago, which maybe Julio will find the number right now, but it's about, it was about martial arts. Yes. And I found this guy who invented his own martial art. Really? Yeah. His name is Eddie Wittene. And he is, he invented a martial art called Muriowaza, which he calls the way of unlimited

techniques. And so we did, if you, we did a whole thing about him this last episode. So if you haven't heard that, you want some more background on him. You guys can listen to that. But he has it, you wrote a book. I ordered this book off Amazon. Jesus Christ. It's fucking giant. It's like a textbook. Yeah. It literally is a text book. I marked off some good parts in here to read through. There's a quiz at the end of the book too.

This is a book. Muriawaza, the way of unlimited techniques, a guarded, exclusive, and confidential course written and illustrated by and that's the important part. Wait till these illustrations. Illustrations are good. Grandmaster founder, the deadliest self-defense system in history. This reminds me of the guy that created Spawn. Do you guys know him?

I've been reading Spawn, yeah. Have you seen any, like, interviews with this guy? You know the, like, clips that play at the beginning of the, like, animate, yeah. He is the man. I love him. Wait, what are these clips? What does he do? Where he's, like, he, like, introduces all the episodes.

Like, he's doing, like, a Rod Serling monologue, kind of. But he's, like, he's, like, a very nerdy-looking guy, and he'll be sitting on a stool. With a speech impediment, too. Yeah, he'll be, like, in, like, his, like, artist studio, but it's got, like, chains and skulls on the wall and stuff. and he'll be like, what would you do if your best friend raped your wife

and you got sent to hell? That's the intro. This episode will answer the question, yeah. Swords. What would it happen if you got stabbed by one? And every Spawn episode

opens with one of those. That's amazing. Dude, he's a type of guy that just doesn't exist that much anymore, like the really, really, like, nerdy dude. Yeah.

The really nerdy dude who like is super into nine-inch nails, though. and he's wearing like the, like, the spiked collar. Are you spiked collar guy with all the leather jackets? Just, not your snails guy. Yeah.

So this is an about, this is the about the author section, as a little recap for, okay, yeah. About the author. Eddie Vuittonet is a native of South Texas who primarily writes about particular periods, places, and people within the realm of modern day history. Dr. Vuittenei enjoys meticulously dissecting recorded history, especially historical events that are known to have

culminated over time and ultimately led to changes in families, societies, cultures, and even civilizations. The print is so big. It's huge. It's giant. And it's probably a 200-page book. It's so he can read it. I would say about 75% of this book is pictures.

Yeah. Dr. Vuitsina began his writing career as a young man teaching his martial art style, which he named Murya Waza. As part of the Muriwaza discipline, he wrote numerous instruction manuals and study guides that afforded him a wealth of experience in bringing the written word into formative thought and subsequent technical action. Over time, Eddie was provided the opportunity in the mid-1970s to further sharpen his

authoring skills by writing and implementing several traditional and non-traditional youth development-oriented programs for the city of Fresno's community development program. Wait, he's from Fresno? California? He says he's from Texas, South Texas. Oh, okay. His interest in writing turned toward a more creative form of expression in the 1990s when he began writing fiction, nonfiction, and short stories.

And here we find ourselves today. And there's a picture of him. So the thing that we found out about him last time, like the first time we looked into him was that he was like a judge who got disbarred from. I forget why, but there's like a whole thing. It's like the third thing that comes up when you Google his name is some document about he had to resign.

And the first and second things are these animations that he's made and like covers of songs that he does. He has a bunch of music. He's got, he makes all. So, like, graphics, you can hire him to make graphics for you. He's a fiber guy. He is a fire guy. But he also invented the most deadliest martial art of all history.

So here's the core of Murielazza is victimology. And here's how he defines victimology. Wait, there it's, sorry, it says right there January 2004. A complaint was filed with the State Commission on Judicial Contact containing allegations of, and then it doesn't say what? All right. What does it say? Here's victimology.

Noun. The study of the victims of crime and the psychological. effects on them of their experience that is if they survive the assault. Holy shit. That's the core I'm sorry, I was distracted because does he have an album? He has a bunch of albums. He makes music. Yeah. He did a cover of

heaven knows I'm miserable now by the Smiths. He does a ton of covers. Just a regular guy trying to make it in America. Yeah. Eddie, Wittonay and the Time Travelers is his band. And how old is he? He is probably 50. No, older than that. Older than that. Yeah, because he

was doing shit in the 70s. I feel like he's When did this book come out? This book is from 2021. Wow. So here's our first illustration. This is, I just want to show you, this is the vibe of the illustrations here.

Victimology. These are, these are kind of moves that he teaches people. You can see there's a lot of arrows. He uses a lot of symbols and a lot of animals. It looks incredible. Yeah, these are,

it's really well done. These are arboreal locomotive hands and body language projections. It looks a little bit like E. Yeah. That's what I thought. I thought that that was a photo of E. I forgot that that's the co-brae pose. Could you imagine smoking weed with E.

I want through so bad, dude. Wait a minute, we have the E.T mask over there. We can make this. Let's pause the episode right now, and we're going to do a two-man sketch of smoking weed with E. Oh, man. He lights the block with his finger. Because he's got the munchies. Is this his...

Is this the picture of the man? Yes. This guy looks like he... He looks like he... I just picture him. Like, when I see somebody like this, just instantly picture

I'm fucking yeah yeah it's like he has the he's wearing a weighted vest

and you know he has the most insane farmer's tan of all time yeah it's amazing yeah like his

arm has like a tumor yeah he's going like so here I'm going to teach you guys a new move

today this is called this is called the willow leaf block okay I'll read this to you and I'll show

you the diagram and we can maybe try it out and see if this is protracting. So this says Arboral locomotive hands and then there's a copyright symbol. The Willow Tree symbolizes faith, hope.

It reassures a warrior by its mere presence that there will be a path back to where he or she was before any ensuing battle. Its characteristics and the knowledge of its behavior can provide calmness under fire, calmness in the form of prudent and metered sensations of confidence. Its essence will inoculate in any astute observer a profound feeling of hope

and knowing that there will always be healing mentally and physically as he or she emerges on the other side of a battle. And then it shows here the Willow Leaf Block. It says Willow Leaf Block and then a tight rotate hand up to 90 degrees, horizontally opposite way, negative 90 degrees, windshield action, elbow can move up and down, rotate arm at elbow vertically like a pendulum back and forth, leaf with like blocks or slaps, convert to spear hand, castor clock, attack 11 slash 1, or convert to back knuckle, castor clock, attack 12E or 12F at central region. So you're waving you, you wave your hand. I think you need to make a more menacing face. And then you also need to hold your other hand like this. For a counter move.

Which can convert to a castor spear hands. This actually could work. Do you think this could be a good technique to block something? You block this? Because, okay, you wave your hands. They would have to have perfect timing to get past this. Yeah. This is called windshield action.

So you're making a shield of wind. Is that, is a person in the, they're wearing a gator? I think that's supposed to be. be him, yeah. It's him with shades and a gator. The gator is the coolest thing to come out of the pandemic. Oh, absolutely. When you would see a guy with a gator. Is that what that is? That's what that's called? A gator?

Yeah. Those things are badass. They never fit correctly, so it's always like a little baggy and they have to keep yanking it up. And there was some study that said that like they actually spread COVID. Yeah. I remember that. That was like the first week of March. The problem is because you see them and you're like, let me wear that shit right now. Let me try that on. Let me put that on my mouth right now. I literally want the

Gator. They're just breathing all of their COVID germs into like the space between their chin and neck. And then when they take it off and they get home it just releases. Yeah. Pop cloud. Yeah. Here's another move. This is an attack move. This is called toss the teacup. Do you need a teacup in your hand or no?

No, the teacup I think is metaphorically. Yeah. The teacup looks like a cloud of smoke, maybe. These do look like Cole Cush models. Yeah. Shout out to Cole. Toss the teacup. Lunge and lean body toward the right while twisting at waist clockwise

At same time toss the quote T-cup toward the target inverted hand acts as plate and all Oh so the hand is the plate The hand is the plate And the energy I just can't help it like As soon as you start reading and just zone out It's crazy man

It's like well it's ideal for a rich hand strike To the area under the nose are used also as a rich hand strike To an opponent's throat So wait a minute you so you do Oh oh I feel like you're like you're throwing a frisbee on a Yeah, I guess. And then the other hand is holding straight up kind of like she has one prayer hand and it says next to it a picture of a knife and it says knife warning.

Oh yeah, that's the whole thing with this is that you're trying to project power. It's really more about scaring the people. Yeah. And it also says danger keep off on her stomach. See, that would maybe keep anybody from attacking you. That might be the key here. Have you seen this older fatter guy on Instagram who like goes into like public spaces and he's like basically like doing that. that bullshit science of, like, body language, but for spaces, really, like, being a target

and be like, okay, so what I'm, what information I'm receiving here is that there's no cameras above, like, the children's clothes. So that means that this is safe. But if you go over to the electronics, there's tons of cameras. So that's a place. A lot of shoplifting. Like, it's just kind of, like, basic, like, feng shui, but, like, he's just noticing stuff and, like, a smart.

Yeah. I have all this Q&ON information. I need to switch over to something. Because now that that's over. I mean, I do feel like we'll get some giant groundswell of amazing art out of the people who are putting all their energy in that for so long. I mean, yeah, look at this book.

Yeah, exactly. This is fully what Q&N people sub-wimate into, I feel like, once they forget about the... I mean, the goat, David Dees, he's dead. Like Hollywood in the 50s, how there's like a bunch of German and Jewish expats who came and did like noir. and all that. Yeah, we'll have that with. We'll have that with you and I.

There's also just one text box on this page. This is a woman who's holding both their hands up and it says, willow leaf, willow leaf. And then it says, why willow leaf and not willow tree? Willow tree, knife at hand edge faces opponent. Willow leaf palm side of knife hand faces opponent. And then it says in big yellow letters with quotes around it, windy time. That's a special move that you can actually. Can I see this for a second? I just want to leaf through it. He has so many special. I think I have some good special move stuff marked out in here too. It's so insane. It's for everybody at home.

This is like how big the text is. It really is. Truly like a freshman in high school. The other thing is I think that this book is maybe not supposed to exist because in the front of it it says I only release this book in in electronic formats. So I think this is like an auto printed Amazon thing that he didn't mean to make. I think this is just supposed to be. This is against his will.

This logo up here is in. incredible he does such good graphic design he's amazing he is the man all right show us some special attack wait a minute did you know i might be talking about a school a little bit here this is before my time before i got to new york but there was a guy in new york who like made a post some of my friends know i'm and they'll remain nameless but that he invented a new art form called stand-up philosophy wow and it was like this and then like it was like a blog post and it was like him detailing like that it's basically like stand-up comedy but you don't have to have punchlines just go up and like say philosophy and then like everybody was like commenting below like that's

just spoken word bro you're ripping off henry rawens all you need for a new art form though is just a name for it yeah that's what makes it a new thing and that's why everybody here's so lazy in the pornography is stealing our attention uh-huh every time you open up instagram i must be a sim instead of being you know, 200 years ago, each of us would have had at least 15 our forms. And I would have been drawing. Here's what I would have done.

You know the Leonardo da Vinci drew this naked man, I would have been drawing a naked woman. What the hell is that? What the hell was that noise? That's a click. He was trying to, he's playing Valorant on his computer right now.

That's scary. He was looking up Appalachian Trail earlier. I think that's the Google Doodle for the day. Huh? The Google Doodle for the day. I don't know what any of that shit is. You know the Google Doodle?

You don't know the Google Doodle? You know the Google? Oh, up in the thing. That's what they call that. Yeah. It's the special Google. You sound old as hell. Up in the thing.

Come on, man. Google is like the base. You fucking boomer. You have no idea what that. I am. I am a proud boomer. I'm 65 years old. I have 15 classic cars.

Really? Yeah. Name all your classic cars in. 1986 Chevy Caprice. 1984 Chevy Impala. 1986, Cutless Supreme. 1990 Chevy Cavalier. These sound like jalopies to me.

No, well, there are works in progress. Basically, you remember. You have a... Remember when Tim Allen was making that fucking car in his house and his wife was a wife was such a fucking bitch? Wasn't she let him be normal? She would not let him touch his tools. Here's my problem with that.

Why are you talking? You're yapping at your husband all the time. He's on TV, bitch. Shut the hell up. Shut the fuck up. He should have taken a little bit more of a Stephen Crowder approach to her. Yeah.

He should have been sitting in the, living room with a table that said, I need, I need a beer, change my mind. That video is so funny where he talks to her like she's three years old, like a dog. He's like, no, bad wife. The Stephen Crowder video, it's like a ring doorbell video of him in his backyard. And she's like, I'm going to take the car to my sisters. And he's like, no, watch it. Watch it.

Don't take the car. I think she was like, I'm going to get groceries. Yeah, it was some shit. It was so like innocuous. He didn't want groceries. He wants. No. Restaurants.

I like sushi. Yeah. I want to build a restaurant in my house. Honey, they sell sushi at the grocery store. I can get you sushi there. You know I'm building a restaurant in the basement. Why would we need groceries? How are we fucking up so bad that he got offered $50 million to do a podcast and he said,

not enough money. And we barely get offered two or three million dollars. Yeah. We haven't even have an, we don't even have an article about us. I need an article. We need an article. bad. This one is going to get us an article.

We need a complete controversy now. It does feel like any time I try to do anything in show business, I have to like apologize for it. I have to like, I'm sorry. Yeah. Sorry. I was thinking.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was thinking today about can you believe that people make stand up comedy show posters but it has their face on it? Yeah. I can believe.

Yeah. It's just weird to me. Maybe I'm just ugly now that I think about it. But I was like, I don't think I'd ever put my face on something. All right. Maybe we need to take a moment right here. Uh-huh.

The three of us. And let our friend Caleb know that he's looking good. You got a new haircut. Is it my haircut? Dude, your hair-cuit. Honestly, you've just got to know how to do it up. You just got to know how to style it. Yeah, I got a new haircut.

It looks good, man. I went to one of the Turkish barbers. It cracks your back. See, look at how amazing you look now. I left like this. I walked out. and they put a bunch of green stuff on my entire body. They crack my back 40 times.

They pull on your shoulders and crack your back and your hair just falls out. They cut a couple of my arteries. And then here I went to a Turkish throat so hard that your blood pressure just shoots. It's a barbershop that still does bloodletting. The videos of the guy who wears a road mic on his arm

and he just like punches the shit out of people and yeah, he should be putting leeches on their ears and shit. You haven't seen that guy? Dude, the Turkish have found a way to make... They figured out everything. Coffee. Because they're in the center of everything. They're in the center of Europe, Africa, Asia.

They take all the knowledge. All the, every single piece of knowledge. Literally, they're a leech of human knowledge. That's why they make, they figure. He said this live, this is going on Volcker. Sal Bay is Turkish? Yeah.

And, well, yeah, that's the thing. What's his name? A little guy is, oh, I think he's Chechen. He's Chechen. He's Chetchen, but he spends time. He fucks with Turkey. He definitely fucks with Turkey. What was that, that chef, that fucks his,

and there were Szy and Bo Barak. Oh, yeah, who like got really sick. You got sick? What? I feel like there was an arc of the guy that would make the big pots of shit and he would like flip it over. Yeah. And he smiles?

He like. The smiling chef. He got really sick. Really? Yeah. From his food? We're going to have to see. He ate too much.

He's not. He's not called the. He is. He does come up. First result for the smiling chef. He got completely. The smiling chef sick was an auto complete of the smiling. Oh.

Oh, what? Wait. This was last year? It was a year ago. Yeah, there was kind of an arc of him. Oh, my God. He, the president of Turkey would come. He got shot?

Burak World. No, no. Shot to fame. Shot to fame. Oh, my bad. Yeah, you got to think there's so many, like, you know, I guess, Gordon Ramsey, I know, but I know so many salt bay, this guy. Yeah.

I feel like there's another Turkish guy with, like, a big, like, he looks like surge from System of a Down, and he's got, like, a big. Hassan Piker. he's got like a big like curled mustache oh really is he a chef or a barber or what he's like a meat sword guy ah okay he's making the pecania they don't make pecania they don't make pecania there dude they do well he could be doing that all right what he got for us uh so this is he has a bunch of animal styles that he calls calamitous patterns doggy style um so yeah you know like in that's what's spilled my coffee for that panda they got all the different animals yeah they got this but he's got

a bunch of different animals and we already did some of these in the last one so I mean he has obviously he has ape style muriowaza tiger style cobra style human style he has two human style was really good I remember what is human style these are fighting styles these are different fighting styles that have special moves but the

one I want to show you today was carpenter ant one of them yeah he has two different he has two different styles for the African and the Indian elephant his African elephant style and Indian elephant style they're different but this one this is one that I just saw to day that has, most of them are like, okay, it's like monkey style is like monkey fist.

You use a surprise punch. You know, it's different moves. I would think that would be human style. Human style use spears and fishing nets. Oh, I remember that. Use technology. Yeah. This is dragon style.

Oh, my God. And so here are some of the special moves that he writes you can do if you're using dragon style, Murielasa. So, yeah, to compare, for example, like crane beak is when you use. use your fingers to peck the throat and eyeballs, right? Like that? Yeah, exactly like that. Like Kill Bill. I had a fantasy where I did that to a bear the other day.

I had a dream that I was being attacked by a bear last night and I was punching it in the face. I was sitting on my couch, imagine. I had to go upstate for something and then I was, but I was sitting there was like, what if a bear comes and I was like, well, I'll simply take his eyes out of it. Yeah. While you're driving upstate. Did you see the video recently of the guy like shooing a bear out of like.

Oh, and the bear scratches him? Yeah. And he blocks just, get out of you like. He's just some guy and like, scorns the bear. Suburban Philly or whatever. And he goes up, he's like, like, yeah, somebody owes me a beer after that. So good. Water.

Water. I need a glass of worder. There's a girl that transferred to my high school from Philly, and she'd be like, what comes out of the faucet? And we'd be like water. And she's like, no. Water. Why would she be making fun of herself?

She's the only person there who knows. She's trying to change the world. Doesn't know how to talk, whatever. She just wanted to be, there's like, oh, yeah, that's Philly Girl. Dragon Punch, which it says Dragon Punch, and then in parentheses under it, Dragon's Fire Breath. So that's, you can use Fire Breath if you're using Dragon Style. You can also use tearing bites, which says Dragon eats you. So that's another special move.

You can eat your opponent. They also have straight arm hand slaps, Dragon Slaps tail. Bent wing slaps, Dragon protects Den. Low backward kicks, dragons escapes. stiff leg wheel kick Dragon Whips tail and then it also says in big letters of the top

Dragon pulls you to only vanish Wow This reminds me of When I was a labor For construction I was working for this Irish guy And he was like

Yeah I used to drink with this He was like We were talking about redheads And he was like they're fucking out of their minds And he was like He's like I knew this one redhead In Ireland who like got so mad That he was like in a bar

And he was holding a pint glass And he got so mad like that and he bit the plank. Oh my God. It's just to prove like how mad he was. And he was like he just cut his fucking mouth open so bad. Jesus Christ. That's my favorite prank video.

Have you seen that that prank video where the guy goes into the... No, what did you think of the one I say you? Which one did you say? Butterstairs. Oh, butter stairs. What's butter stairs? We might have to watch that. There's a video of some guys where they get the like edible glass and they put like a bud light

label on it and they put like some empties on a bar and they walk into a bar they order a drink and they whoever is like sitting near the empty glass they go like hey man you're gonna finish that and the guy's like no I'm not going to finish it and he takes the glass and just starts eating it in front of him and one of the most of the people are just like what the fuck like ignore it and then one of the guys like oh my god and starts taking out his phone and filming him eating it he's like he eating the glass y'all he eaten the glass I found this video on Instagram of this woman being like, no, I pulled my kids out of the pool.

This is fucked up. And then she, like, points her camera at the lifeguard. She's like, this lifeguard is a AI. Oh, yeah. I did see that. Yeah. They're doing the way.

That's apparently some shit that lifeguards are supposed to do to watch the most search area. This guy is so susceptible. Yeah. According to the comments, what do you mean? You believe the community note. I bet you believe the community note.

I bet you believe the community. community note because I believe I believe in Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone yeah that's what that's a kind of shit that's pushing in these notes man if that's on the community note then I believe it fuck you this entire section of the book

get the fuck out of here bitch kick you on I can't stand here it's probably about 60 70 pages is I'm not going to read it but it's literally just a list of every robbery on an armored car that happened in the last 10 years did you read this whole thing

I did not I skimmed it I've read parts of it here I'm going to skip to some of the good parts. Okay, Connor, what do you think of our idea for a sitcom, which is three guys in an armored car? Isn't that a good idea? Isn't that a really good idea? You think this would make it? Three guys who work for Brinks.

All right. Spoiler alert for this. If you don't want to hear the ending of three guys in a armored car. We had a name for it. I don't remember what it was. Yeah, what was it? But the last episode, you guys are just chilling and all of a sudden you look over to the side.

Big semi-truck comes, hits you. Oh, my God. to a fucking car dealership. All of a sudden, there's a shape charred blow. You guys get robbed in heat. Oh, shit.

You are the opening. Oh, robbery for heat. That's an idea I had when I was a little kid. I had an idea for a movie that's about a henchman. It was going to be called henchman. And it's about,

and a guy's entire life and he works in organized crime, but he's just like a lowly underling, right? And in the end of the movie is he's just like sitting in front of a room and like a John Wick guy like snaps his neck, like the actual main character of the world.

and then it's just dude fade to black henchman wouldn't have that a bone your fucking mind well the maybe the movie shouldn't have been called henchman well but that the entire time you're like he's not a henchman

he has a daughter type of movie where you don't know the name until the end yeah I put a question mark it's called the mystery movie you know what they tried to do with Terminator 2

they try and if you watch it they tried to make it so like you don't know that Arnold's the good guy yeah like the first 20 minutes it's like he's the buffest one yeah that's well yeah that's what I

usually go by him a good guy yeah yeah but uh but it's kind of you know not really henchman hitchman is kind of a one and one idea three guys in an armored car what is the it's like the office yeah it's like single cam it's like a comedy camera and then one of us you guys ever leave the bachelor one of us like the bachelor of the group yeah no they just live in it yeah oh that's yeah we get the we get the job the three of us we get evicted and then we get evicted And we're like, we need a place to stay. Armored car, 24-hour security. Okay.

Well. And it's parked in a dangerous neighborhood. Like, I'm having great episode ideas just sitting here. Exactly. Teaming with it. Like, Patrick, like, is you guys fire him. And he's like, well, whatever, you can't evict me. And he uses his part of the armored truck to start a food truck.

Yep. I think we came up with that. I think we actually did. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We were shove it. You're shoving tequitos through the little, like, the little holes where you do. Can we get the check.

CPT? up here? Can we plug? Because I recently did this where I asked ChatGPT to come up with a pitch document for a show called roommates and it's about Donald Trump and Biden being roommates. Oh my God. In Brooklyn. Yeah.

But what was the other one? There was one episode where one of us is the bachelor and they're trying to bring home a girl but we're all, it's like we have to hide. Who can accommodate? You have to hide under the money. Yeah. Hiding under the money or like being in the front of the car.

And is this set in New England? This is set. It's set in a truck. Yeah. So anywhere. Kind of spring field type. Literally be anywhere. It could be anywhere that has a road.

It's mostly under the bridge. Everywhere that's not in the water or the air. Just not water. Yeah. And honestly, it could be in the air. Yeah. I mean, if it could be a flying truck if we don't see the outside. It drove on one of those.

Honestly, it could be an underwater truck too. Twist ending. Way. Oh my God. This is completely getting it. So well. Yeah. It does it really well.

I mean. This is crazy. This is too long, man. It's way too long, guys. Yeah. We just need a synopsis for an episode, I think. Yeah, it's Armored Tron. The Armored Truck horn honks causing everyone to jump.

The Armourtruck is talking in that script. Yeah, it's Lisa, Mike. Can I be, can I be an EP on this? Yeah. Non-not-writing EP? What? Well, come on. You just want the money.

Dude, I'll literally use all my X power on X to get this made. I'll be DMing Sarah Cooper. Wait, if you want to think we want to think we, If you think we want to be associated with X in any way, wait, wait. That's actually an amazing idea. She is Trump the whole show, right? She's Trump, the whole show. We're using AI to get Trump's voice so that she, and we're having him say, like,

we got to get rid of the armored car. We don't like the armored car. We don't like the armored car, deli, vote. She is lip-sinking that. And that's like, oh, my God, we have to watch the state of the union. Sarah Cooper right there on the screen. I think it's so funny. I do you think it's so anytime we get turned on the radio,

the armored car, it's going around. driving around we don't want it we don't want it I hate politics I fucking we don't even realize it's a bad I don't keep the politics

out the car dog no what did we say no politics in the car you guys the car must be stopped the car must be stopped we don't know all the media

that is like seen in the background of the show is all about the newspaper on every news yeah in the weather today well matter you're going to be in an armored car the weather the the the uh it's going to be bright

fluorescent in the back of the weather today the AC will be on if the car is running it's a great outside i do think this is a great idea it's such a good we're going to have to off mic really really beat this one out we're going to go sit over our table over there and we're going to be got the whiteboard up and it's sitting at table doesn't make sense okay guys here's what you do in the hero's journey is writing is erasing the hero's journey doesn't make sense for him to eat his own shit. That's what everyone says to me when I try to pitch something. This is what you've all been, this is what you do if you're attacked by a mob at your house.

Okay. I'm going to read a few paragraphs here. Is it a woke mob? Yes. Well, you'll see by the types of things they say. Probably just pull up a fucking clip of me playing Postal 2 on my stream. I designed the civilian anti-victimology survival scale to provide a private citizen a series of active slash passive acts and actions

they can enact when faced with a real-time physical threat to self, friends, family, or property. These are violent times whereby by literal mobs are attacking people in places with very nefarious intent. I understand that a mob of hundreds of people is virtually impossible to defend against.

And then he says, couch taters, senior citizens, children and the disabled have obvious limitations. Nonetheless, Murya Waza can even things out by turning disability into an ability. Wow. Because it's so deadly. I guess you can do that.

Oh my God. There was one thing that he, let me see if I can find the... Is it the one that's bookmarked? There's something before the one that's bookmarked. Okay.

That's okay if I can't find it. Anyway, this section is headed. They call me Mr. Show Off. And it says, the more you show luxury to the outside world and keeping up with the Joneses,

the more you are putting out a subliminal signal. It's a gold mine in here. Whoa. A thief will seek the path of less resistance and try to converge your stuff into theirs

devoid of conveyance, gratuity, barter, trade, gamble pay, work or outright purchase. That's the concept. Your Honor, they can converge their stuff into mine. Keep your garage door closed when access is not necessary, for it projects a carnival-like atmosphere,

such as one feels at a flea market or a yard sale. Especially my shit, dude. I got all these vintage Pac-Man cabinets in my shit. Oh, man. Yeah, your garage is sick. My garage is badass. I have a fridge, keep it open. I got all these stop signs.

Like 50 stop signs. What you just rusty-ass stop signs? A bunch of those old Coke cans where they don't have the lip on them. One day, those. will all be a table once I'm done once I'm done with my project

I don't remember like feeling like a response maybe you guys didn't have this so much but like a responsibility to not like you should not open up your

happy meal toys those will be worth a lot of money one day yeah beanie babies why is it though that you you say the thing about the stop sign table why is it like

every friend's house that you would go up to go to their house growing up you'd always go into the garage to get a soda and there would be like their dad would have made

like a couch out of shoes and you'd be like, what's that? He just likes doing that. That's dad's new project. I think it's like when you are a father you're essentially castrated. Yeah, it's like my dad made... You need to put all your energy into something.

My friend's dad would make him like skateboard obstacles. My dad made... He would just make like boxes and stuff to grind. My dad took a bunch of wine labels and modged them onto a canvas and then started giving that

for like four years in a row as Christmas gifts to people. Just wine that he had drank. He'd take the, label off and mage podge it and be like here you go mom here's all the wine my dad was the he did the elevators at the prudential building in chicago he did the maintenance for him and then he would just like knew the building really well and was friends with everybody so he completely furnished our basement with like a stolen materials from the that's amazing

like off it like square carpet like the drop ceiling the like wood panty just that was just his whole yeah he made it look like an elevator well he'll basically yeah he can go anywhere if he's the king of the elevator yeah he would always say my uncle did that shit your uncle was elevator guy and he put on the my cousin's closet he just put the up and down button wait what are the two what are the two elevator brands the big one otis schindler and tis and crump which are you what team are you here's the thing you bounce around all of them when you're in the when you're elevator you bounce around yeah you like that fuck this i'm quitting i'm going over to Schindler.

Oh, I thought you mean you'd get in them and you jump a bunch of times to try to see if it'll fall. No. My dad would get in the elevator and like rock them back and forth. Like this one's good. This one's good. That's the best job ever. Just try to break this motherfucker. Next building.

Jumping up in the middle of it. Here's what you do when the intruders are at your house. Okay. You will need at least, you will need at least three basketballs. a few, quote, old school clipboards, which we'll get into what the clipboards are. We're having these boys. They're running suicide.

We need three basketballs and some old school clipboards. He says, memorize the following short brief statement to ensure the intruders are aware that the police are coming, you are home, and they can leave unharmed. In a loud voice, state, Policia coming.

Whoa. Then throw or bounce the basketball away from you. This will confuse them and distract their intention. The basketball should not be overinflated. only have enough air to bonounce around Bounse. Well, that could be a technique.

Around a few times. That is a technique. Next squat down, bend your knees and yell the following with greater force. Hey, boys, they're here. Whoa. The use of the term boys communicates to the intruder

that there is more than two to three dedicated men at the sheltered in place in the house. The use of the term they're here is even more chilling. So this is like home alone when he has the fake party. Exactly.

basketballs to make them think that they're people. And here's what the clipboard is for. I got a bunch of NBA players in here that'll kick your ass. The clipboard is for the clipboard gunshot sound trick. Oh. Where you snap the top of it. But that's actually smart. You have to do not fire closer than one foot to the ear and body.

Damn. But the clipboard gunshot trick. Because then they'll know. Then, yeah, I'll just like, I kind of want to just show us some of this stuff. This is Gemini Clock Theory. He invented. Okay. Clock theory.

He calls it Gemini clock theory and twin clock theory. Here's an example. How to use Pollock's clock in a stance. And this is Malvolio spider. The 12-legged spider acts like the hands of the clock. Holy shit. This is him diving into the full. He's going into it.

Yeah. I want to take you guys back to 2003. I'm there. Jay-Z is in a big conference room with. some record executives and there's a skinny little guy that comes in and he starts talking about how he's going to be such a great rapper he gets up on the table he starts rapping along and then he leaves and they say that guy's an idiot he's never going to make it to anywhere his name is conier west oh my fucking god that's what this guy is you're saying in 10 years

I'm saying it's making such perfect sense to him and society has not caught up to him yet because it is like there is some logic or it does look like he it makes sense in his head clock theory it's incredible it's jemini clock theory and here's a section on japanese proverbs wait isn't he is there a good one i'll read you one right now does he have children 50 at least yeah here's his first japanese proverb he has we are fools whether we dance or not so we might as well dance that's actually kind of cute cold tea and cold rice are bearable but cold looks and cold words are not. That's something you say to your wife. Yeah.

This one's something you can say your wife. When you make my tea, that can be cold, but the tongue is but three inches long, but it can kill a man six feet tall. Wow. Going back to Buttigieg, yeah. Oh my God. The bodies are stacking. That's what they send him to Afghanistan to eat people's

pussy to death. This is his section on compromised organ malfunction. Okay. Where he's talking about is different attacks that you can use on different parts of people's bodies. Oh, This is the part I wanted to read. He's talking about groin attack. He has a huge section about groin attack.

Oh, come on. He fights like a girl. Come on, nah. Come on, man. You can't be getting up in there. Let me read this section about, oh, here we go. De-gloving. This is an injury where the scrotum is torn away, similar to removing a glove from a hand.

Ameriawasa-grab and twisting attacks can mimic that. Do you say you rip someone's nuts off of the body? I think scrotum off the balls, right? Yeah, you leave the balls there, just dead to hit. He also has de-glove the skin. He also, he has a full section here on female groin attacks. He says, A well-placed knee-smash, kick, blunt weapon,

or opportunistic hand-slash-arm blow to Castor 6-Pollick's 12 groin area is a devastating injury. They'd probably like that shit, though. The vulva includes the labia menorah, labia majora, and clitoris, which are easily compromised by a kick or a focused knee-smash. Tell me why he knows this shit, but my dad don't. The perinium is this space between the vaginal opening and the anus. The perinium is affected primarily by a well-placed operative.

tunistic kick or regular upward knee smash, the latter usually by a short front lunge or snap kick. So his idea is to somebody attacks you, start just like fingering them and fucking grabbing their ass. That's what we're real. I love, fight with love. Oh yeah. Then they fall in love with you and then they get attached. So, and this is some lore that I just discovered. And they got power over them. Yeah, exactly. This is going to, this blew my mind. This truly cements him, I think, is one of the geniuses of our time and one of the most inspiring stories of all time. Okay. So fellow he's talking about head injuries. So fellow Muriawazen, be very careful.

On December 26th, that's the day after Christmas. 2019. Boxing day. I tripped, fell, and struck my head, which caused a debilitating stroke and traumatic brain injury. Several bouts of chemotherapy had weakened me. I'm still unable to walk. However, I can still teach through the web. Thanks.

Wow. This guy. He writes it like he's signing off. He's been through the ringer. Have you guys ever seen somebody on the computer pretending to be sick or Facebook or something I just rewatch the first saw movie

because the new one came out and I forgot that one of the traps that Jigsaw sets in the first movie is literally he puts someone like in a thing where he covers them an oil

and he's going to light them on fire and he goes for years you pretended to be sick that's one of the things he's punishing somebody for he pretended to be sick well now it is

it'd be left and right go fund me go fraud me defraud you Biden's got to do something about go fund me yeah you should shut the whole thing down blow it up

I'm gonna start doing Biden impressions we need more Biden impressions this is it you guys notice he fucking walks around y'all bruh it's kind of like a video game yeah

Jim Carrey famously played him that's on Saturday night like Sonic the head chugged the movie I got recommended something on the Instagram where they're like it's still Jim Carrey like Jim Carrey is actually

playing him for real yeah like a guy that's like he's doing an amazing show I've heard there's three or four he's wearing a He's wearing a skin suit. Who's the,

who's the senator, the big ugly troll that they say? Federman? They changed his head. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah,

yeah. He's screwed his head off. I mean, yeah, that's what I always pop it off like a Lego man. What is he doing where they're like,

we need to change his head. Yeah. So, making head different. Like, he has depression, so they probably took it off and we're messing around.

Oh, they're probably trying to solve it with a magnet. Mm-hmm. How does that work? So, you're pulling all the metals out that make you depressed.

All the hard metals is cadmium. Oh, that's a therapist. The last thing is the last thing in this book, this last section, this from here to the end, all of this is a quiz. Oh.

Oh, what's in the book? Oh, my God. It's all multiple choice quiz questions with no answers listed. Ask me one. I bet I'll get it. I bet I'll get it. You don't even need the key.

Okay, let's see here. Just ask me one question. I got you. Question number 20. Okay. Nervous people often began to speak faster than normal. What are the options?

Is the answer A, yes, or B, no? That's a no, man. Nervous people, they shut down as soon as you start talking to them. Well, we don't know. There's no answer. I guess we'll never know. Did you try flipping the book upside down? Maybe there's an answer key. There's no answer key here at all. Maybe you email them afterwards.

Oh, yeah. Contact him. Get the answer key. Okay, here's one for you. Okay. You are roused in the middle of the night to someone inside your house. What level in the C-A-S-S system can you immediately enter? A, level three. B, level seven.

C, level eight, or D, level six. Was my training seven. Okay. I'm not at eight yet. Well, we, again, we can't. Yeah, can neither confirm nor deny. Yeah, you escalate it pretty fast. Yeah.

Escalations. This, everybody in the 1800s was like this guy. Yeah. And like now, now we're, now we're, it's all coming back. Yeah, we only think that this guy is. crazy because he tried to make a martial art in 2021 instead of back in the day. If you had said 100 years ago, the way

this is called a karate chop. Yeah, you invent a karate chop. You go like this. You finger people when they attack you, you throw basketball to make them distracted. They'd say, what the hell is a basketball? It would have been, exactly. What the fuck is that? René Smith isn't born yet. This guy 200 years ago would just be like in Illinois being like, this is

okay, we're going to call this, uh, Rantoul Illinois. I'm the mayor. Yeah, exactly. And this is what the, and everyone's like, I guess we have to do what he says. Anybody who ran against Lincoln. Everyone just attacking each other. And Lincoln would have died a much worse death. Any person who covered their eyes with sunglasses or whatever the past version of sunglasses were

and couldn't walk probably commanded like 700 people. Yeah, because they're scary. You never know what they're capable of. That's what people would be like, this man has like a bewitching energy. They just meant that he wore dark clothing. That's what I was thinking about. I mean, there's no wonder his stuff is so sexual because can you imagine you're attacking him and he fingers you

and puts your own dick in your own ass. He literally calls those attacks. He calls them insertion attacks. Yeah, makes you fall in love. And then he's, yeah,

once you fall in love with him, he's making you drop out of college and do just anything for him. You're moving across country. You get like his name branded on you. You're like following him on tour. Some Nixium cult that he started. You love,

you love watching his stand-up sets. It's Russell Brandt. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that what Delea did? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Had a, yeah, he had like a whole sex, he had sex in his bedroom I hear these guys they dream too big they try to build up to having a whole island nobody would they wouldn't find out if you weren't trying to make all if you weren't trying to turn your weird

sex stuff into a big thing leave it in the locker room man this is the hope of the Metaverse is that these guys can go do this stuff in the Metaverse in front of thousands of little kids who actually got an Oculus I don't get a shit it's fine let Jared Letto run around there his dick out and his morbiose suit.

Yeah, let him do his thing, man. He's just trying to... Remember Mordecai? Mordecai. Johnny Depp? Oh, yes. What's that? Twirling mustache, Johnny Depp?

Comedy. It was... 2015. It was going up... That movie was going up against the Force Awakens. Was it funny? It had no shot.

It was trying to be funny. It was? Was it on that Rango style? It was Mordecai and Ewan McGregor. You know what would happen as these movies would come out and then it would be like kind of like a safe target for like late night comedy shows where they can make fun like okay this is a bomb they're putting it out in january we can pile up like chappie was one mordecai they're all like burned into my

brain chappie was fucking just because i remember being like people worked hard on that why you making fun of it that's right who gives a shit what a nice guy like we can make fun of chappie but we can't like you know but we can't go to war in iraq again man but we have so much knowledge of how to do it right exactly why we waste our time with these movies man these late night jokes we should be doing late night rallies. We should be rallying our citizens to all get on a plane, fly over to Iraq right now, and we'll do that shit right.

Don't drop bombs, don't drop bombs, drop me. Late night jokes, all this roasting going on on late night. Late night, we should be asleep. That's a good point, man. We got to get 16 hours. People don't talk about that bedtime inflation. 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. I'm talking some bedtime inflation.

You know what I mean? They're getting filled with blood. Yeah, dude, inflate a little pool and sit in it. Blowing bubbles in my car. Yeah, get these. Six, yeah, 16 guys from Saugas, Massachusetts to get on a plane all edging together on the flight over to Iraq. I think the moment that people from Saugas and people from Saudi Arabia realize that their places share the first same three letters. They're going to change the world in the world.

Okay, so there's a cataclysmic event. Joe Biden's brain explodes live on TV. It's been revealed that it's just nothing of a vanilla ice cream. The world goes into hell verse and the United States breaks up into different sections. New England in the Midwest are they allies? They're allies. Really?

What are they allies? Fighting against, you know, South. Well, that's cool. We've talked about this before. We've talked about Civil War II. We talked about this a couple of weeks ago. But it's over,

what would it be? I mean, probably be over like Kardashians to like Cedar Point and theme parks. Oh, oh. It's all about theme parks. It's going to be over. It's going to be over restaurants. They're trying to get,

they're trying to get fun spot out of Laconia, New Hampshire. sure. They want the world's biggest arcade in the south. And Cedar Point. Oh my God. That's what the Civil War, too. It's going to be over the fast food places. And in California, they're going to be having the in and out. Their soldiers are going to be relaxed and lax and lazy and slothful. Too much beef, too much smoking weed and then going to in and out.

But up in New England, we got the dunks. We got dunks. And we're basically going to have like Jacob's Ladder and Thetamine soldiers. True. Good point. Honeydood donuts. Now why don't you two talk? like

Kenneth Banna. What's his name? Mr. Fieni? No, fucking. You want us to have Boston Brahmin accents?

I want you to talk like Ben Affleck from the Dunn Affleck from the dad had a Boston accent when he was a kid and he like trained it out of himself before I was born so I could have probably had one

and I got stolen away from it got stolen away from him Patrick's mom is a baddie. Yep, so true. Thank you man. She's a baddie. Thank you. Yes, we've had it confirmed

by somebody who's not confirmed by a celebrity. Yeah. It's been confirmed by my fucking eyes. Because Patrick, well, first of all, Patrick opened for me in Boston, which was nice, but we drove around his old neighborhood and he was like, man, whoa, I can't change so much.

And I was like, oh, yeah. He's like, yeah, he's like, yeah, I can't believe that CVS is closed. I used to go ahead. And that, man, that 7-Eleven is, oh, dude, I would, like, go there and get Gatorade. Yeah, he's got to be the worst person to travel with ever.

And it was like a moment where I was like, oh, yeah, you're like 12. Yeah. Like, the world is like not changed that much. No, no, no. The neighborhood is different, though. My old neighborhood. Great Scott's gone.

That was, I played there once. Yeah, I saw you there. Yeah. But the blueberry tour. I saw you on that one. What happened? There was, oh, yeah, when your mom said to me after your show, she's like, I was really, I actually liked it.

I was really surprised. I wasn't expecting to like it. I was, thank you. Yeah, she was like, I, I didn't think I would get it. Not only is she bad, y'all, she nice, too. She's good to hang out with That was my youngest brother Two days before that

Called me and was like Yeah I want to see your show But I don't know I just I was working on the in this basement And this retirement home I guess there was a huge carbon monoxide leak I don't remember I woke up in the hospital Oh yeah

He had carbon monoxide poisoning It was so bad that like But then he fucking showed up to the show still Like he like just got out of the hospital and was like He thought it was a food court He couldn't fucking We were like talking to him after He's just sitting there just like

Yeah I don't know man He uh that reminds me My friend from high school This guy named Uchfold's a Polish guy doesn't matter We're in Ridgewood so watch out They got shooters Hey man I'm from Chicago so watch out That's the new civil war

Polish gangs on Oblo Holding the gun backwards Hey, come on. What are you doing? Wait, wait, wait. Wait, yes. Oh, man. Oh, my God.

Screen door, butterfly doors. Me and Dan Lakata had a, trying to come up with new Polish jokes. And we were trying to figure out something where they, like, like, you ever see somebody eating CD-ROM? Yeah, that's a Polish guy eating Norton antivirus. But my friend Uchfeld was a lifeguard. Chicago and he saved somebody from drowning and the person was developmentally disabled and he pulled him out of the water and Uchfeld was like kind of fucked up by this he was like revived them on the beach and like brought them back to life and it was like kind of crazy and he just was like

you know it was exhausting too like going the water to pull out of another body and uh he was just like sitting there kind of grappling with like I just saved somebody and I have no idea like just kind of like feeling he was like a teenager too and the guy that he saved was sitting next to him and the paramedic was like so how are you doing to the guy and he went not too good

I drowned it today that that's an amazingly sweet story that's an amazingly sweet story yeah but he got saved all right guys this is go out use Maria Waza

start fighting your parents Go to the endorphinport.com and watch the mask. Oh, yeah. Go to Endorphinport. The new short film by Connor O'Malley. And also there is a chat bot on there. If you like this chat gpt crap, you're going to love this crap. It's not a chat bot.

It's actual we synthesized human mind on computer. What? Jeremy. Yeah, yeah. It's Jeremy. He's real. It's the first beyond artificial intelligence. Yeah.

So you'll upload it a guy? Yeah, he's a 32-year-old guy from Phoenix, Arizona named Jeremy, who works part-time at AutoZone. He drives in Ultima, lives with his dad. And, I mean, if people want to talk to them, then go to Endorphinport.com, talk to Jeremy 100% for free. Take a screen cap. Holy crap.

Text it to your grandparent Christmas Day. That's their gift. Yeah. Frame it. Frame it and send them on their way. All right. And then go check out World's Biggest Army. Underworld's biggest mummy.

When is that? Skull, Halloween City. It's October 20th. It's our show at Littlefield. So you guys are trying to do a sketch show, huh? Yeah. And you didn't call up the ultimate sketch doctor. We have a sketch that we have a sketch that we need you to look over.

Hmm. I'll take a look. It's about the mask. Yeah. It's a short film about some lunatic. About some crazy guy. It's about a guy acting fake weird on the street. All right.

Thank you, Connor for coming on. Thanks for having me. It's been a joy. Yeah, I texted Caleb and said the same. I said, this weather make me want to eat some good soup and watch a spooky movie. And then I said, because you text me something like this pretty much every day. And I responded, because I would, I read the text I sent you before that. Yeah, hold on.

But I responded and I said slash SRS question mark. And I was SRS. But why didn't you tell me that? Because I wanted to have a conversation about. Oh, because I was trying to. I was trying to set up back here so that I wouldn't be on my computer all episode. Too busy to send one text.

It was pretty hectic over here. So here's what he said before this weather literally makes me want to eat good soup and watch a scary movie popcorn emoji. Before this, he said, bruh, what did I eat last night? My Dairarara smells so bad. Skull laughing, crying laughing emoji.

Dairara. Dairara. And then before that, I said bubs or badonka don't and he said bro her hair we we okay so the funniest thing about that the my mindset when i text this stuff is that we are co-workers and imagine getting like imagine you work at a restaurant right and you're like you basically at a restaurant yeah pretty much this is a restaurant that here's another one the room is like the worst the best worst movie of all time so we're co-workers and imagine you're at a restaurant and you give your co-worker like your phone number because you like hung it you smoked in his car or something

yeah and then he just texts you this shit takes me the room is like trying to trying to become like better friends with you yeah the talking period the talking period of co-worker I have been in a talking phase with every manager I've ever had Never gone past that, but they are brutal. They are brutal. Did you ever get a nickname from your manager? Well, they're doing the talking phase, and they're like, hey, Kathleen called out sick. I need you to come at 8 a.m. to cover her shift.

It's like, yeah. Leave me alone, bro.