Podcast About List - Ep. 263 - Six Fingers of Music ft. Jack Bensinger

Episode Date: October 18, 2023

Guess who's back? 🎶 Jack Bensinger from Joy Tactics Podcast, check out Joy Tactics at here Watch the full video for this episode youtube.com/@PodcastAboutList Buy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

You see my clatt. Welcome back to P-A-L fucking radio, man. W-P-A-L. W-P-A-L. W-P-A-L. W-J-A-C-K-B-E-N-S-I-N-S-I-N-G-R, Jack motherfucking Bensinger. What the fuck is up, man.

Real quick, I don't go by. that name. What do you go? Okay. Well, because my whole thing is you guys said, yo, you want to come on to do the five fingers, right? Am I spoiling anything? No, that's fine. It's in the name of the episode. So I said this. This is a perfect opportunity because I quit acting. I quit comedy. No, I'm just straight up a rapper. Jack Ben rapper. No. I don't. So. You don't? I don't have a name now. Names are incredibly corny. Wait, I have a fucking name. Don't say that shit. You're talking to three named men.

You guys started out the show like Porky Pig. Like, come on, man. But Porky the Pig. You're bringing some negative energy right away. I apologize. Porky the pig is probably one of the worst things you could call somebody. Especially because he's cool. Sam the Salamander in that regard then.

Who is Sam the Salamander? He's a new more handsome type of representative of the animated community. Okay. Oh. He's from community? I don't know. Describe him in detail. Who?

Sam the Salamander. he's like a one-dimensional James Bond with liquid skin. You know what I'm saying? Gex. Yeah. This is sounding a lot like gex to me. But Gex is two or three-dimensional. Yeah.

I don't know if I know who Gex is. He's a gecko. He's a gecko James Bond, man. Really? From our old video game. From the 3D-O, right? Or the PS-1. He's told Joe's on celebrities.

Yeah. Him and Bubzy would chill. This is how I feel, man. He used to run with Bubsy back in the day. And he walks around with a remote control. and you control any TV. Oh, he's like Adam Sandler. Yeah, he's clicking.

But he doesn't have any pants. Adam Sandler, click, clagging. Can you, here's why you shouldn't quit comedy, man. Imagine 10 years from now, you've been doing comedy acting for years at this point, 10 of them, plus however many you've done so far. And then you get invited to the Adam Sandler basketball games. You and Salome? It's just not how I want to get there.

Yeah. Like, yeah, I want to get there no matter what my path is. But I just feel like I'd be embarrassed. If I showed up, like, I want to show up because I've been, like, being more real, being a musician. Right. Like, if I show up as a goofy ass. And, like, maybe that I was grinding really hard and I sold a lot of stuff at my store. Yeah.

Do you think they invite? You think it's just the upper echelon of every, they invite bodega guys. They're going to invite you. That's true. I mean, they do play random pickup with people as well. Yeah. I mean, he gets in the fights, too. Adam, what's his name?

Sandler. Adam Sandler gets in the craziest viral. fighting. It's almost like, it's not even about the basketball to him. Remember when he threw that shovel at that girl? Yeah. In 2014. He threw a shovel at a little? Remember that video? No. Adam Sandler throwing a shovel at a girl. Remember when he wore a troll face t-shirt?

Mm-hmm. Remember when he Chuck and Larry got all? Remember when he chucked Larry? Yeah. Engaged? Chuck and Larry had a big grip on my school life. Yeah? Yeah. Homework? Well, it was more like that's, we would call

anybody, including myself, and my friends, if somebody was kind of gay, we'd say, you are Chuck and Larry. You're both of them. Yeah. Well, you're Chuck and this guy's Larry. Right. But they must have not seen the movie

and realize that it was for, they were doing it for some kind of legal reason. You guys aren't so much like the characters themselves who are doing it for legal reasons. You're more like the fire fighter. The relationship between you guys is similar. You are more like the perception of Chuck and Larry by the people in the movie.

By me, because I didn't watch it. By Nicholas Totoro. Because I know that I know the poster of the movie. That's about all I know. Well, it's Chuck By the way, Adam Sandler and Chuck Imagine those two

I mean, that's a hot and steamy The show, Chuck, or? Well, no, or Larry. Which one is Larry? Kevin James. Yeah, that's his name. Those two, I don't think there's a worse couple to watch have sex, maybe in history.

That's a, you know what? That's a big joke in the movie. Really? Yeah, if you remember the movie, like I didn't watch that shit. Like I said, that's how I found out Freddie Mercury was a gay guy when they play the you're my best friend song at the end of the movie.

My dad pointed at the screen and was like, you know why they're playing this, right? Were you disappointed? I wasn't disappointed. I bet you were steaming mad. My dad was saying it was like it was trivia for the movie. You thought it was just, no, this is

the end of the movie song. This plays at the end of every movie. It's because he's a gay man. It was a gay man. single movie should end with this song. The Maroon 5-1 or the Who sings that? That's... Is that Adam Levine? No, I'm thinking

of the original by Beethoven. Oh, that's not by Beethoven. Most of that stuff is by Beethoven. Can you imagine if... That's a dog you're talking about Beethoven. No. No. Imagine what? Can you imagine if a natural animal

did noise like that because birds go like this I've noticed all sorts of all sorts of different shit so what I'm saying

is imagine if a bird went there's certain ones that do that is so beautiful it was amazing no I stopped acting you're a pretty jacket that's singing

that's true that's true okay that's music yeah all right thank you then I accept that. Yeah. But you're saying what if a bird sang a song?

I'm just curious, not a parrot, but I'm just... Right. A bird that's not mimicking somebody singing, but it originally is singing the song. I was going to say, have you seen this starling? This is in the news? There's a bird. What's in the news about a starling? There's a bird that made a complete, it mimicked R2D2's voice and human voices,

but the most impressive thing was that he got bored of mimicking human voices, and then he just pulled out the R2D2 sound. And it was pitch perfect. Oh, there's a bird in Brooklyn. No, no, no, no, no, it's complete R2D2. It's like, yeah, it's all the beeps and everything. Well, do you know the bird that does the cell phone noises at the hardware store? No, droid.

It goes, I can't think of a cell phone noise, but it goes, it goes, I can't fucking do it. What cell phone do you have? The one where it kind of pops and goes ding. Oh, the notification. Oh, okay. It pops? It pops. It pops, yeah.

Yeah, that's scary about it. Well, that's a, well, that's, I'm talking about the noise, not the bird. Oh, okay. But a bird could make that noise. They can click and. Certain birds can mimic human voice so perfect. Did you guys ever? Some birds in the jungle do car alarms and stuff.

It's like they're parriding. That would freak me. I don't know why they do it. Did you guys ever know anybody who owned a parrot? No. Not yet. I had a parrot eat some of my hair when I was a kid. That's what happened to it.

Yeah. I said some. Nice. And also as a kid, but nice try you, you two guys. Well, there was a parrot. Twice try YouTube guys. you're already getting into the wrapping a little bit. Nice try, you two guys.

But the parrot could, I was installing a glass shower door and a lady said, you want to hold my parrot and take a photo with it? And I said, for sure. And then I had a photo taken of me and the parrot ate a piece of my hair. Remember we saw a parrot on the bus, on the 73 bus in Boston? And he was a reoccurring guy? I only saw him like two times. Why would you pay the extra ticket for the parrot instead of just let it fly?

Well, he had the parrot on his arm. It was not attached to him in any way. I just was sitting on his arm. And then I was like, can I take a picture of the parrot? And he was like, it's a good thing you asked because when people take pictures without asking, the parrot attacks them. That's a bad quality.

No, it's not a good thing to have it in an animal. To have a picture of a... I saw a picture or a video today, a bunch of videos actually, of a lady who got a cat off the road, some Russian lady, raised the cat. The cat starts getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger.

Don't tell me. It was a panther. And how's it behaving? Like a dog. Except it can jump 20 feet in the air. Yeah. Well, some dogs can do that, that's for sure. Like a Great Dane.

Run up a tree. A Great Dane can't do that. A great day can't jump. 20 feet in the air. Great Dane's dog, dog die instantly. Yeah. Great Dains lasts like three years. Really?

Yeah. They do not have a long lifespan. In bed. In bed. At the end of any sentence. At the end of any sentence, it'll take. In bed. Damn.

Hey, man. Everything's in bed if you think of the dirt as a fucking mattress. I think of the world as a floor. It's the bed for human death. Human seed theory. You're bringing that back? Well, it's either going to be me or the government. Didn't you talk about this last time you were here?

Maybe. No, probably not. No, so say it again. Just the idea that people are of seeds. And so just be careful if you're walking around a graveyard, don't be surprised. Don't stand in grass for too long. Like for a tree? If a tree grows out of the ground

and then instead of leaves, it's a dude. There's a bunch of heads. Oh, because they're planted in the graveyard. That's a seed. Like an executor. Sure. Like the Pokemon. That always, you know how the person

who's in charge of a will is called the executor? The person in charge of a will is named the Jada. Oh my God. No, they've actually been separated for some time. Tell me why she's still in charge of him then. Tell me why she's still so fine. You have a me and his damn business?

Be careful. That has to hurt so bad when she said that she was in love with Tupac. Imagine your girlfriend. Imagine your girlfriend told you today that, like, Juice World was her soulmate, man. But did she know him? I don't know. Juice World. Yeah, Juice World.

World of Juice. I'd go to a store like that. There's a place near me called Snack World, and then you walk in, they just sell weed. They don't get those snacks. They have so many different worlds in this city. Every store here is a world. They have so many types of worlds. Basically, Mario game vibes.

Yeah. Yeah, or outer space. Well, that's one way to look at it. Yeah, I guess there's an outer space Mario game, though, too. So Mario kind of covers outer space. He kind of covers everything. Yeah. He did everything.

He did it all, really. Is that actually, that's a for a way he hasn't jumped into. Mario cooking? Mario cooking. There's got a way of a game where he cooks a much. Yeah, but in a full game, there's a game where he does. He's always cooking up those mushrooms. He's always cooking on the gullas.

How do you think he's going to get a one-up from a raw mushroom? Is there a Mario restaurant game? Mario cooking, chef Mario lasagna. Okay, that looks like a mushroom. That looks real to me. I love this game. See, you get to scroll around and click. This is a funny animal point right now.

This is Mario Cooking. What is this? You click on the squares. See, they get bigger. That's five points. That YouTube video, cooking with Chef Mario. Cooking tour adds Chef Mario. Cooking with Chef Mario.

They got the damn. Oh, it's remastered. That there's a full Mario cooking game based on all these pictures. Yeah. Where else would they have come from? Well, I want to play this game. I want to play it right. I want to play it right.

I guess I can't argue with you wanting to play that game. I'm so beefed out, guys. Do not ever eat beef. Beefs. Beefs. I know. I can't stop bragging. I went to a beef restaurant last night.

And I ate beef. Hit the mute button on them. And all beef restaurant? All beef, dude. Even the drinks? Even the drinks were pieces of beef. It wasn't even a juve. It was just beef to, they molded beef to fit the cup.

Moldy beef. And you had to put it. Oh, wait, I'm muted. Hey, this isn't funny. This shit is not cool. No, we don't want to hear about your beef escapade. Okay, go ahead. Talk about your beef escapades, man.

My beef was so delicious and well done. I got all of the beef well done. You. You? Oh, I thought I said you. You got it well done? You didn't cook it? No, the guy came, and he said, is medium rare, okay?

And I said, we'll take it well done. and then he just kind of left it for a little bit. You got Wagyu cooked, well done. And then he wiped up all the grease with a napkin, and I ate the napkin. Even at a restaurant, he's making people wipe the table for him. No, I didn't spill anything. Is that a theme that you guys deal with? He spills and doesn't give a false.

Anti-Wipe. I'm not anti-Wipe. Don't go around saying I'm anti-wipe, man. You are anti-white. I imagine his butts like a cast iron. I know. Let me give an outside. I have no skin in the game here, right?

I couldn't give a hell. You have their skin. I'm almost, well, I have skin. I have a lot of skin. Oh, yeah, sorry. I'm more normal. I realistically, I have more skin than any of you guys. That's probably true. Now, have you ever thought that maybe you don't mind liquid being around because of your preferring

Aquarius environments, et cetera? I grew up about four miles from a beach. Water was a big part of my life growing up. No poor news. There was always water in the house. So, spilling it was not a big deal. Here's my rule on water, dude. If I spill water on the ground, we're not talking about water.

No, no, no, no. It's not water and it's not the ground. It's drinks on the table. Coffee is mostly water. Hey, man. You see this right here? I thought that that was a beautiful, that looked like a country. A table is a ground.

That'd be too much to move it, but we could get the spill cam. Okay, there we go. See the stain? I'm about to, you're about to be a stand. This is a brand new, nice table. You're about to be a stain on God's beautiful. beautiful creation. Save it for the talking like this. Save it for the, whoa. I switched the angles, y'all. Wait, that was insane. Wow. Cameron's a new angle.

Cameron, yeah. Cameron Diaz, man. Did you know that she used to be legged? A leg. Legged? She used to be legged. Stop hiding behind your microphone, bro. Yeah, why didn't you? You're the biggest one. you're looking so small and bashful, man. Get up. Get up. Get up. I'm not hiding, bro. You're hiding right now. That's how I think. You're hiding. I was just watching an interview with a Cameron Diaz. I just left.

I was just watching somebody give an interview who mentioned that Cameron Diaz was previously there. Whoa. Wow. Where was that? It was on the internet, man. Honestly, it was on a late night talk show with somebody that I had never seen in my life. Who was it? I don't know him.

Oh. You don't even know. So you went on YouTube and you searched interview without Cameron Diaz. She was right there. She was there a second ago. They had mentioned that she was just there and they had said hi. I remember recently. I remember some Nickelodeon like man on the street bit that they did that was like in the ad space between shows where they brought out celebrity farts in a jar and one of them was Cameron Diaz and one of the guys said he liked it.

Oh, okay. Well, yeah. Was she ever in another movie besides Shrek and the Mask? Night and day. Charlie's fucking angels. What the fuck? Yeah, Charlie's fucking night and fucking day. Bad fucking teacher.

Bad trip. She is in a cut. Yeah, she was in bad teacher, which I thought was going to be full on porn and it was hardly, hardly porn. She's an alcoholic. That's the only thing that's bad about her.

Is her? I thought she was like a disability, but she doesn't do that. No, she doesn't even suck a student. She sucks her teacher friend. Has anyone tried to connect all the bad Santa, bad teacher,

bad grandpa yet? Has that been there? It's like a bad family. Bad, bad universe? The bad universe? The bad universe going up against the dirty universe, dirty grandpa. Because they're not all family necessarily. Well, you used to have bad Santa.

Now we have bad baby, man. Bad Bunny. What the hell fell off about the world. Oh, I forgot about bad baby. Yeah, Dr. Phil or what she's up to right now. Oh, bad baby, right. Well, that's kind of different because she has different letters in her name. Yeah.

She's a bobby. The hobby. Bahad baby. Bad, Bahad, Babi had. Behad baby. Yeah. So she doesn't really count. But bad bunny would count.

Yeah, and so would... The worst bunny of all time, bugs. He's always fucking up Fudd's life. The best bunny. I didn't mean to hit you. I'm going to grab your head fast. Well, then who's the bad bunny? Bad bunny.

The one from the Monty Python and the Holy Graeme. Oh, there we go. Oh, yeah. You want to talk about a bad bunny. Beastly bunny. I don't want to go see this guy in concert. He's going to chew my neck off. He's going to eat my carrot.

Yeah. But he's only a flesh wound. I got all these carrots with me. He's going to feel my carrots. Uh-uh. No way. no way not letting him near my little bag of carrots. I was holding a carrot one time and fell through a sliding glass door.

Yeah, fell through? Yeah. Did you break it? Wait, glass? Did you trip? Yeah, tripped on your carrot? On a tile. No, and I dropped the carrot.

Went and jumped for it. You jumped after a carrot through a glass door. Did the carrot go through the glass door and then you jumped after it? The carrot wasn't strong enough. Okay. But you were. I was. Baby carrot or?

You didn't know. You didn't know your own how much you wanted the carrot I didn't know how close the door was and how I just, I don't know I wasn't thinking at the time If you had been thinking You probably would imagine

If you were thinking, if I was thinking I might have been, I don't know what I would have been thinking about Yeah, oh no Oh my fucking carrot man I think I dropped my fucking carrot You're just eating plain carrots Sure

I would be like nah that carrot ain't worth it leave the carrot on the ground I'd just throw it out right if I could a slow down time yeah I'm not even going to eat it anyway it's been on the ground yeah would you eat it did you eat it off the ground no it was well 10 second rule

were you badly injured you know it's actually 30 seconds so you can leave food on the ground for 30 seconds and it doesn't collect any germ this must depend on the ground if you work in a germ factory you drop the shit you'll have to be in outer space pretty much actually any factory

I feel like it's five second rule but okay so you're saying Pretty much every single factory, whatever's on the floor of a factory, I would not want to eat. Imagine how sad it is. So you're saying three seconds on the floor of the asbestos factory is eating it. Three seconds. If I'm second two, I'll eat that. Three seconds is too money, but two is okay.

Two, well, three is when three. You know, maybe we should be on the floor factory. Now, hold on a second. Let me pretend I'm a germ, right? You be a piece of food and go ahead and like. I'll be time. Lie on me. Ready?

Grab. You see what I'm saying? I'm on you now. Yeah. Well, but that's what I was wondering is. Imagine you're, imagine you're a germ. No, it's good. The germ has to live.

It has to create. So if I'm, yeah, so I'm like a building now, right? So I can't just go like that. No, no,

no, because you're not going to, like, you can visit Oklahoma City. You don't live there. Mm-hmm. Oh, wow.

Well, it doesn't matter if it doesn't matter whether you live there. If you're, if you're visiting Oklahoma City, you're not a resident. You're not a resident. It doesn't matter if you live there.

You still killed them, man. Where's the murder coming into this? We're talking about germs theory, man. Well, drugs kill people. They cause sickness that causes death. Have you not heard about this yet? Osmosis Jones, how long was that egg

on the floor? The egg was longer than five seconds. What type of egg? And how hot it was a hard-boiled cold egg. And it was in a chimpanzee exhibit. It was in the chimpanzee's hands before it dropped. This is an amount of knowledge that's shocking

from all three. You never see an osmosis Jones? No, you all are speaking about this egg That's the number one part of the movie that everybody remembers. That's the main part of the egg. What do you remember? The thing is, surfing.

He's grabbing the egg. They don't serve? Probably does. You're thinking of a dude on a platelet. It had to be him. Who else could that have been? Ms. Frizzle?

She can't serve. She can do anything. She bench pressed four plates. Yeah, right. Four plates of barbecue ribs. That would still be pretty. That would be a lot. That would be very much more impressive in terms of balance,

maybe. Without the. falling off. Yeah, that's a, if she bench press four plates and balance. Let me try another one. Four paper plates of air sauce. Air sauce. That would be very that would be insanely like. I'm trying to diss her. I don't know.

Great. All right. All right. She's weird. Ms. Frizzle. And she got weird orange hair. Yeah. I would like to romance her. Oh. What? She's a kid. She's not. She's not. Mrs. Frizzle? And how tall is she?

Well, it really. But why is she going to? Who's she trying to impress the kids? She wants the kids to think that she dresses cool? The field trip people. Is that building in a town or is it floating in the skies? Why would I think about the school of the Magic School Bus Academy? I don't know what it's called.

It's the Magic School. Maybe it's Academy, yeah. Magic School. They named it after the bus. Why do I think, why when I picture the outside of that school, do I picture it floating? in a floating city. Probably because of the blue around it. The sky?

Yeah, maybe you're thinking of the sky being above it. I'm not. I'm thinking, no, no, no, I'm, truthfully, you're thinking of the blue that surrounds it. It's not surrounded by blue in my head. It's surrounded by black. You think it's in space? Yes.

You think it's in a voice. It's not space. Maybe you watch an episode where we're thinking of the time in the episode. I know what it is. I know what it is. It's the theme song where they pull the school away and then it goes into the bus or it. And then they go in the little thing.

The school goes into the bus. That's what it is. I wouldn't sign that. permission slip man straight up no my kid came to me hey I got to shrink down and jump into a rat's eye if I was the kid I would be I'd be forging the signature every oh yeah I'd be like there's no she's definitely going through a ton of just crayon block letter signatures tell you right now if I was one of the kids on the magic school bus and she said all right everybody stand next to the gun I'm going to shoot you all you're going to get small here's me skirt move to the

right you everybody gets all small and I go fucking eat everybody's turkey sandwiches you're King. You would wait for them to leave and then eat the lunch. But little do you know they went to a medieval banquet. How could what would be that? No, no, no, no. They don't have those that small. That's the thing is they go somewhere small.

No, they're going back in time and also shrinking. Wait, can they go back in time or can they just go small? I think they can just go small. I think they can go wherever they want to do anything they want with magic. Oh, because it's a school bus. That's a great point. Did they ever go bigger? I think they've done literally everything you could

imagine to do. They've never been so big. They've never, they didn't have this podcast. Yeah, they never went here. They've been on the podcast. No, they had to delete it. Carlos, yeah, about being small.

Carlos and then the redhead one. I can't stop wiping my mustache on the mic. I do the same thing. I do that pretty much every episode. Me too. We both, all three of us here. Joy. Same type of mustache.

Joy. Don't. Not allowed to say. Make him talk in a funny way. Oh, a second. And then he can say it. You can only plug your show if we give you a filter. Yeah.

Oh, that's, I would mean to plug it. Joy Tactics. Yeah. That was good. That was really good. If Joy Tactics was a Pokemon, I got to stop talking about Pokemon, man. No, it's a problem. What's wrong with Pokemon?

If you can do it, if you're able to do it without it interfering with your life, then it's fine. Do what? Speak about Pokemon. Oh, okay. But it comes up so frequently for me that I just, it's taking over. Yeah. The problem with Pokemon. earlier. It's because they have a million

types and all these different types you can apply to almost anything. Grass, water birds. Exactly. Oil. Flying. And basically anything you see in the world, it makes you think that's fire. I've never seen an oil Pokemon. You never seen an oil mon? No. No, you know what? You're not watching the right show. No, I'm not. Wait, which show are you? What? Do you have that on Tsunami? Yeah. Are you watching Pokemon? Are you

playing Pokemon? I'm just talking about it. Oh. Just thinking. That might be the craziest option yet. I haven't played a video game in four months. On purpose? I played a Halo two days ago. No, so a lie. But that was only one round, but other than that. Right.

One round? One round. Just to christen it. Wait. Sometimes you've got to do a one. Oh, congratulations. Thanks, y'all. Thanks, everybody.

Did you get everything on your checklist? What's the address? One, two, three, Suckett Academy. Matches school bus, 82. He moved into a school. He moved into an apartment above school. Called Sucket Academy. I live on the Sucket.

You are. Yeah. Suckett Academy 2R. There's a school on the first floor and you're just between two classrooms. Yeah. Lockers in the house. You're careful with that because it could unplug. Is there anything?

No, you don't have to be careful with it. It's fine. If I put a can on it, no, that's not interesting. Put a can on it. Wait, that actually looked cool, though. Okay. Whoa. Yo, uh, wake up.

Dude, wait. Dude, wake up. Wake up. You just fucking got hit by something. A can telling you that? No, this is a Pepsi. Yeah. If you were a Pepsi, you got knocked out.

Wake up, wake up. Dude, what the fuck? You just walked in front of something and it fucked you up. You good? I knew the kiss was coming. Me too. What the fuck? I could feel the kiss coming.

Y'all are smarter than me. All right. Sorry about that. No, that's okay. You wake up in a universe and you're a bottle or a can, whatever. Yeah. Which kind of, I would want to be one of these ones. Oh, yeah.

Bottle. Oh, it's got curved. A curved bowl. You would want to be a bottle. I'd be a jug. I'd probably be a gallon jug. A grouler. Multiple gallon jug of vinegar.

Cleaning vinegar. Cleaning vinegar. The first thing I could think of that comes in a big jug. Maybe water. No, I'm thinking of a big jug that's filled with vinegar. What's the biggest jug you can imagine? One of those big ones. Brown jug.

It's going to be a vat in the Canon bottle universe? Fuck no. Well, you can't be, you can't move. You're bolted into the ground. Distillery. It could be a distillery. Distillery. Distillery.

That's a whole distillery. Buildings. At that point, that's a multiple person. Well, there's, yeah, I guess it's full of vats. I guess I could be like a silo. Silo is a can. A silo is a type of can. All right, let's rain it back in.

So we're, today we're on this, uh, all right, right. What are we just, well, what were we just talking about? Silo's versus cans. Would you, what kind of bottle would you be in your bottle universe that you invented? Oh. Or can. Yeah, I don't know I'd be Mrs. Butter's worth actually

Oh, okay Yeah, I guess you could You may be another good one to be That I wouldn't want to be Maybe someone else could choose this Would be the honey bear Honey bear is really good Oh, the honey bear would be really good one

A lot of people would fuck with you A lot of people would like being it But me, I'm built different I would just probably be something giant Why is it not a bee man? Yeah, a bee I think I've seen honey bees in a jar style

Bears like honey Bears like everything Bears eat watermelons You ever seen those videos The bear eating the whole picnic table Do you see that one? I saw that one But the bear with the tapeworm

At its butt Yeah that's fake That's fake Yeah tapeworms break off really easily Oh Then what was in that bear's butt I was on the bear Probably something more disgusting

Than a tape one A karate belt That bear that had like three strings Oh my God No wait You know what it was It was a pair of Parashooter's bag.

Oh, that's scary. D.B. Cooper. What would you do if you were, if you jumped out of a plane and you were skydiving, you pulled your parachute, and you look up and who's parachuting down after he's a bear? I would go back up. Yeah. Yeah. Put the bag back in the, or the shoot back in the bag in the box?

Yeah. I would pull my reverse falling engine. I put on my jet pack. Put the whole thing in front of you. I thought about getting into wing suiting. Yeah. Should I do that shit? You could.

It's more dangerous. than other things. It's the problem. It depends on what the other thing is, I guess. Listen, if you love something enough to where it's not worth living without it, then do it. Then you have to do. You have no choice.

You have to move to a place where they have rocks that have circles and arches and loops. The loops. And that's always what they do and they win-suit they go through. And also gold rings. They go through like amusement park rocks.

Yeah. You have to live in Utah or something. Those gold rings, man. What was that? He touched my leg. He jiggled. He touched my leg. Yeah, I always have keys upon me.

Oh, okay. I didn't know what it was. My keys, sorry. That's okay, man. You have a bunch of keys? It sounds like a carpenter key guy. I want to become a lanyard key guy and walk around and flip it. I have a lanyard somewhere around here I could give you.

It says Final Fantasy online on it. What kind of Jeep? Yeah, Wrangler or the truck. Patriot. Gladiator or something shit. Your dad got that one? Yeah. That's fucking crazy.

It looks so funny. Yeah. That's the master chief car. Yeah. He's really interested in the Jeep. He was, uh, was he doing the wave now? He was telling me like the Jeep is so amazing. I wave at everybody has the same car.

We put ducks on each other's cars. Uh-huh. You put ducks on each other's? Apparently Jeep owners. My mom was a Jeep owner for a long time. You get a little, uh, you get a little rubber ducky. And if you like a Jeep, you put a ducky on it. And then they collect all the ducies.

That's why my mom had them on her, on her dashboard. It's like liking on Facebook or poking. It's a car version of liking. Pretty much. The thing about a Jeep, though, is that it has no thing inside of it. Like, there's no, like, if you, if you're on a milphy road, if you're on a bumpy road, it is the most jossily experience. But you can take all the parts out of it. But you can go on to take the, I was driving a Jeep one time in the middle of the pandemic across a couple of state lines and all of a sudden my tire went flat.

But it has the tire in the back. I didn't know how to do that. So I drove into a rental car place. Oh, okay. And they sorted me out. What kind of jeep? Wrangler? This was a wrangler.

Uh-huh. But I didn't love the handling on it. No, no, no, no. You know, it's a little bit of, um, I don't know what you'd call it soft. Like a hard, like a soft cheese. Mm-hmm. Like a Brie. Yeah.

It was like a Brie handling system. Isn't that, it could be even named after that. They're Jeeps from Germany? No. Jeeps are a Chrysler car. America. Is that true? I think so.

I think the Jeep is, is Chrysler. Well, I think Jeep is its own brand, but I think it was an animal. Uh-oh, video game. Where are jeeps from? Largely made in America. Yeah, yeah. North state, Dodge. They're made larger in America.

Chrysler Dodge Jeep. Makes sense. They have small cars in other countries. Six in Canada. The word Jeep means. I mean, this is all changed so much after the, after NAFTA and what Bill Clinton did. Exactly. And now it's like, what are we going to do?

What does Jeep stand for? What does Jeep stand for? Life Liberty and the pursuit of half. A small sturdy motor vehicle with four-wheel drive, especially one used by the military. Yeah, Jeep has been with Chrysler since 87. Well, what does Jeep? Oh, the mouth movement helps a lot. Yeah.

G-E-E-P. J. That's a geep. You think, Jeep. J-E-P. You're thinking of a gap. So how did they come up with the word Jeep? That's what I was trying to figure out, but I guess it just already meant a small four-wheel drive car used by the military.

It's short for Jeep Loppy Oh, do you think? Jeep Lopi Oh, here it comes Look at this What does Jeep What does Jeep stand Just enough essential parts

Oh, that's why it's so jangly That makes sense That's the debris of it all That's so you can take all the You can take the steering wheel off I'll tell you why they call it Jeep Because it's a Jeep piece of junk Damn

Jeep Loppy exactly Yeah man That's what my dad was so excited about He's like I can take the doors off And the top of Taking the doors off is so time consuming and difficult That's what I said to him

I was like take the doors off a cool car That cost a lot of money I could chop the doors off of my Ford Focus You know it'd be cooler is put some butterfly doors on a jeep Put some butter in your car Yeah You take the doors off your car Everyone's taking your butter

Oh dude you put butter in the car in the summer You go and sit down on it And then you go and sit down on some bread And then you It's outside the other seat of the car The other seat of the car Toasting in there Guys I can't contain myself

I need to wrap we do all right I'm hungry okay I'm hungry for a beat well it's time for the five fingers of music part two and you're not last time you said I love the fingers I love all five of these fingers but I have six fingers and I wish that there was a fourth finger of a human wait what a six oh I see what you're saying yeah so we brought it to you and we brought probably the best freestyle rapper that I know mm-hmm Jack Binsinger but I don't know that many freestyle rappers to be honest well

For this moment, I'd like to reiterate kind of the background lore of who I am. I am not Jack Benson anymore. Oh, sorry. I don't have one. I used to be an actor. You guys know me from the bear. I don't really do that corny shit anymore. Right.

That shit's cringe, man. I don't know. If they asked you to come back for season three or not. I would do season three, like, if it was at a music festival. Okay. And they just wanted to film one of my live shows. Yeah. Or you could be there.

And it's like, oh, that's the guy I was talking to you in the last. Yeah, you could be the musician. Oh, my God, this guy was telling me this thing before. Now, look at this. He's on stage. Now he's, now he's like on some of three. You could be one of the humans they eat sushi off of. Uh-huh.

Because that's not technically acting. That's furniture. That's furniture. You know the naked sushi? In the bear? Well, in the world. In the world. They could eat a portillo sandwich off of you.

They could have up here. They could have the like the beef. And then like down here. The bear is based on the world. It's true. It's true. You got to pitch a show. You got a good way of that.

Do you think I could get away with that one? It's like the world. It's basically like the world. It's like basically imagine the world. And so the thrust, the main story engine is what's happening in it. Right. Every day the sun comes up. That's kind of what Atlas Cloud.

Cloud Atlas was about. Oh, Atlas Cloud is that tragic past actor. Angus Cloud. Oh. Not his name is not atlas. I mean, the way he said past actor, maybe, like he specializes in acting stuff from the past. Well, everybody does. No, because some people do Aeon Flux.

Oh, I had the unrated version of that movie. What do you mean? The DVD. Unrated, like, X-rated? Unrated. Oh, those are different. They didn't even bother to rate this one. But I rated it 10 out of 10.

Oh, there you go. Drop that beat. Okay. Who's starting? Who had the best worst or the first finger? I don't know what the first. Who is the most thumb of us for? Oh, well, let's see.

I mean, okay, so here's the deal. Me and Patrick each made two. Jack made one and Caleb made one. So that's six fingers. So that's six fingers. Should we get in the order of a hand? Let's draw straws. All right.

Can you do that on Google? Go ahead and play Caleb. All right. Okay. Oh, wait. Okay. How does this is going to. work. Because isn't one person supposed to do

five fingers to see if they can survive the fingers? Well, but we're just doing one person. What we do is basically a group freestyle. If you imagine we're all fingers on a hand. It's called it as the one. Well, it's not about the hair at the future and we're all on sway in the morning. I see now. So it's five, so the fingers are typically. So we

are the finger. Well, it's interesting. We are the fingers. Because the fingers are the beats. Yeah. And you're just who you are. And I'm, well, it's six fingers. And then there's four of us human fingers. So it's still 10. It's four fingers wrapping on six music fingers. Four fingers

wrapping on six music fingers. Interlocking between the spaces of the fingers. A hand with six fingers. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You got to do it yourself. You got hit with a joy buzzer or something. I got a pretty bad thumb cramp. Just from doing this? I'm just interlock it holding your own hand.

You got a thumb cramp from that? I don't think I've ever had a thumb cramp before in my life. Me neither. even knows you could do that. I got stuck doing that way. That's how you broke it. That's not stuck.

All right. All right. Well, drop that finger. How's it go now? Oh, Caleb's doing something? Turn my headphones up. Jack Missinger. Rapping on fingers.

Jack Beninger. He was on the bear and he has no hair. Got some underwear that he wears down There and his hat is blue And my friends are cool And my food is too And I wearing shoes And I have two friends

And then plus one more And another one He was at the store No No Hit him with the boom dude Why did I get? Oh I was on fire

And then I went store man He immediately went store And what was wrong with the store You're not supposed to say that word on this He is the storecored He just is obsessed with the store Every rap he'd do. Why don't you just lean into it?

Because I didn't see anything wrong with the store. Wait, you had a shiasty this whole time? Uh-huh. Yoh-huh. It actually hurts my ears. Every time I... This is a recurring issue that I have in the rap game, which is every time I freestyle...

I forgot to put this on as soon as the beat drive. I start rapping about going to the store and getting some more. Almost every single time. Yeah, so, you know... So it's just not... It's to the point where it's not a style. It's more of a crutch. Okay.

So it's what we're trying to do? I'm trying to beat it out of me. There, your house? Library. Library is a store of books. The opposite of a store. I'm just saying stuff with library. All right.

Give me to be back. Give me to be back. At the library. It is so scary. I am so hairy. And I am. Stephen. Five.

Stephen King. At the library. Okay, your turn. I'm at the library. I'm taking out six books at a time I'm at the library I'm doing more of a hook at this time I think I did more

I was singing more of the hooks at this time wait this might help reading is not a crime I do it all the time I'm reading books about limes damn I'm reading books about limes Lime scooter hit her in the scooter

hit her way drop a gunshot hit her her in her cooter with a lime scooter with a lime scooter directly to the cooter doing some evil caneval shit into a woman's thing. This is a good way to learn about your instincts.

My instincts. Exactly. Store hurting women's vagina. With cutting edge application based technology. Using an application vehicle to hurt a woman and her thing. I went in a self-driving car. Really? Yeah. Why about you tell us about it?

I was in, uh, oh, yo, I don't, well, I was in Phoenix, basically, and, um, a rap is about it. Yeah, you have to rap about it. Yo, imagine a war, well, actually, turn this beat, uh, keep it the same, actually. I was in a car that had nobody driving in it. I felt like a cream spinach. I had, I literally got exploded on with the whole vehicle exploded. It was crazy. Phoenix fell into the earth.

And then I, and then I blow up all. crazy. I have no idea what's happening to me. I got a lobster hot pocket. Oh. I met two two girls with two lobster hot pockets. I said, get in a self-driving vehicle.

You got to go down and I can show you what it's like when I'm laughing at Jason Seagull. Vehicle to Seagull is insanely good, man. That's the type of shit that I'm expressing myself about for a second. All right, Cameron. Okay. Well,

well, I'm sitting here and I can't. Oh, it ended. The beat is done. You just got a bit. Okay. I've said it to loop though, but I didn't know why you left a gap. Caleb, why did you leave a gap? I think that that silence and your beat was crap.

Whoa. It threw me off and it made me want to cough because I have COVID. And this episode is Ovid. I have to leave. I have COVID-19. You can't leave. It's not a real disease. You're good.

COVID. I have. I have COVID-19. Ice cream. We can't work on your confidence a little bit. I have COVID-19. I just made ice cream with the germs made from sperm. Ice cream, sperms.

I put sperm in my ice cream. People want to eat my ice cream. I don't know if this is okay. What? Putting sperm in ice cream? You can make sperm from ice cream. You can make ice cream from sperm. It won't have germs.

And it's not a worm. It's just sperm. And it won't hurt your sperm ick. When you eat it, you won't say erm ick. Oh, because I'm defeated. You'll still like it. Yeah. You'll still like it.

Okay, we defeated that finger, man. I just eat it. Whoa! My pants, they are pleated. My text, they get deleted. Delete your text. What are you sending? Every month just to save space.

Okay. I had a picture of a new face that I made on my space. You catfish? I invented duck face. You invented duck face? I invented duck face. Invented duck face, fuck face. Better get the fuck out of my space, out of my place.

I'll send you the space. I'll pull out my ace of spades. I have, I've fucking, I don't have, I, okay, I have AIDS. You don't have a hero. You don't have the worst. I have the worst instincts with rapping, man. Bro, it's making us all go clumpy. It's okay to say you have AIDS on a freestyle.

Yeah. It's just off the dome. It's like you can't really control. It's your first thing you think of it. Yeah, what are your thoughts on this? Can you, is anything goes with freestyling? Are you allowed to say you have AIDS or COVID? Look, you can say that you have a disease.

You can say that you have this and that. I mean, that's the beauty of expressing yourself. As you can do it, you should be able to do it, but you should be ready for the repercussions. So when people come at you and say, hey, my whole thing is that I wrap, I have AIDS, my whole thing is that I wrap, I have COVID. You better be ready with the blood tests or, you know, it's just...

I need to come with receipts. You said you've got to be ready for the repercussions. Let's hit it with some more real precautions. drop the next beat down. All right, let me say something real about what I'm like these days. And you got a rap in it. Do you want your finger? Sure, start it up.

Okay, I'm going to start your finger. Show me that finger. I'm excited for this finger. Yo. Yo. Boom bat. Turn that up actually a little bit. Actually, a lot, maybe.

All right, yo. I was on the bear, but now I don't do stuff like that. I'm not an actor anymore. I rap. Anybody wants to see me. I was on the bear and the second AD was disrespecting me and so I put their head up inside of the set, told me to shut the fuck up. The second AC was trying to pull focus and I snapped their neck

and then I pulled well up to the, walked up to the boom-op and then I put them in a hole. And then I saw the person doing craft services and I said, I don't do this anymore. I don't need this shit. I'm too real. I got to move on to my next hobby, which is not a hobby. It's my way of life and it's rapping.

Damn. Wow. Damn. And I'm not, yeah. This finger is fire. This finger's amazing. I like this squelchy-ass bass. I didn't make it.

You didn't make this? Nope. You said you made it. You said you made it. Oh, I know the guy. You said you made it. He said you made it. Damn, now you naked.

I was an air bud as an extra, and then I started learning about different textures, and I don't do that acting anymore. I was in the background when the airbud was dunking a ball. I was in the background making it out with 600 people at the same time, and then I had to retire because I don't live that life of way anymore. damn wow wow you're like a reverse malice from clips huh you gave up being good to be a rapper yep i was a um i was uh i was uh i was in uh what's um i was in the bear i was in the bear now but i was in the bear with jeremy allen white they put me on tv with jimmy phallon he's white

and then I had to go and stop at a red light and then I had to eat some food with a big bite and then I hung out with Jack Vensinger from the bear He was an act air but now he don't care And then he I said man that's pretty fair And then he got some wings to share for me and him We got the buffalo wings Both of us ate those 12 things

I know 600 people named Julian Every single one of them owes me $6 for helping them And they don't reply to me when I DM them. Every single Julian needs to stop it. I know you guys heard about my lobster hot pockets from the Phoenix

when I was in the self-driving car and now that's the type of shit I do now I don't even act anymore. Nope. All he does is eat. Eat lobster hot pockets and rap faster than a rocket and take a picture to put in a locket of yourself because you're in love

with yourself and that's not good for your health, man. You need to get better. You need to get better. You need to get better. You're going to love yourself. I respect the fingers, man. Respect the fingers, man.

You got to wrap on the shit, man. You're going to love yourself. I hit you with the elf. That's on my shelf. Dance. Christmas style. Chris Kyle, I'm sniping you from a mile away. make you smile all day make you smile all day i went to a dentist named the smile list

and my dentist was the wildest what he'd do he put a grinch tooth in my smile bitch a grinch tooth put a green green tooth inside of my smile bitch i got it's teeth are green teeth in the movie look up his that scene man his teeth are white look up that scene a green bite he had green teeth In the movie. Those are a lot more yellow, which makes sense because the Grinch is a green and nasty fellow. He wouldn't brush his teeth because then he likes to eat all kinds of trash and bugs and rotten types of meat. Damn. That was the grisney braces.

What the fuck? That was pretty good. What the fuck? Chill guys. He's just making me self-conscious. No, no, no. You think you'd pop the fuck off, bro. Guys, I didn't pop off.

And I'm not going to. I'm with Popoff because I can't think of anything in time. There's nothing in the world that's Popoff that rhymes. Peter Pop Off was a guy. He went to church and he lied. Sold Miracle Water on BETT at night. Damn, what, really? Is that a true story?

Miracle Water, Peter Pop Off. Jack's about to go off. Well, stop the beat, turn it down all the way. Now, sorry, isn't part of the five fingers is that you're supposed to be able to switch beat like switch the flow. You want to challenge. Well,

that's what the five fingers are. It's like, well, let's just hit this next. You're coming in here with all kinds of ideas. You have all the rules. You're just putting respect on sway.

You've probably seen a bunch of five fingers of death. I bet. Oh, what I bet is that you've never seen even a single five finger of music. Yeah. This is the five fingers of music. It's more about the music than about dying. Yeah.

We didn't understand why Sway wants to kill these. He doesn't want to kill Tori lanes and papoos. Five fingers of death. Five fingers of life and music. Well, it's about rising to the occasion, right? It's like, okay, these beats are going to try to kill you. Speaking of a beat that's trying to kill you, maybe this will help get you in the right mindset.

This is a beat that I made that I, it's, this is maybe the chillest beat. Let me sit back, put my hood up. And it's kind of a, it's a little bit of a November vibe, so maybe a little early. Can we get a little more immortal technique, Demi Gods Flow on this? I got a Naz, Nick Cannon type beat.

So this one's a little, This one's coming up soon. Kind of for chilling. Okay. Okay. So I'm going to throw this one on. And maybe we can just kind of relax and take it easy. Aye.

And it has a little. Chiller be chilled. And you made this? Yeah. Way. Wow. That's actually fucking beautiful. I'm getting Kirby vibes.

Rolling up some weed in my fucking food. Gonna eat that shit. Then I smoke with. the dude i'm gonna go back to my house tonight i'm gonna watch tv till i feel all right and me and my friends are hanging at school we all have shoes and we all look cool every single one of my friends has food nobody has more food than you oh I don't fuck a food in you. Yo!

Yeah! Yo! I got my A.K. I bring you back to my house. I shoot every single family member in my fucking house. Blow my mom's head off. And then I kill my dad. I've been to kill my grandpa.

I made my grandma so sad. And then I kill my dog and I turn them into a food. And then I turn them to a sandwich and I give him a food. And then I go outside. Kill my mailman. Kill all my neighbors. And then I go outside. back upstairs and I play hello neighbor

and then I play all every kind of scary game on my computer I play five nights at Freddy and then I fucking shoot her shoot all of my friends and I kill all of my family and I kill the President of the United States and I kill all of the senators He shouldn't say that

On the show He got in trouble for that Not long ago Not long ago in the galaxy Far Far Away Star Wars is gay Star Wars is gay now Cause the

Trilogy's been diluted He's rapping about fooded Oh this battle's getting fooded We're not battling It's not food battle Call me Smosh I'm a I'm alluded To Smosh and their move vids

Their new vids Damn Smosh is back Smosh is back y'all Smosh is back Smosh is back Yo Smosh is back with Anthony and E. Yun. They make me laugh so hard like an alien would laugh if he saw human

culture up in his UFO flying like a vulture. He wouldn't understand why we have war. He would think an intelligent species wouldn't have that anymore. But we keep on with our guns and our bombs and their guns and their bombs. And then maybe I could put a sample end of them. That's a song and that one is called zombie and it's about how we should have no more bomb seat because even if an alien showed up we would probably take out our guns

and blow them up. Pierce can't be a zombie I feel like I'm like maybe I just like am missing my kids graduation right now and I came I was like I'm sorry I have to go

do this thing and I'm just like sitting here sweating and like having a bank attack knowing that a divorce is waiting for me when I get home I'm just like chilling, rapping with my friends doing 20 years younger than me but after this this is it. This is

this would be some of the last recorded moments in my life. This is a year missing a really important funeral. Yeah, this is the Chester Bennington jelly beans video. Listen, honey these guys have a lot of fucking followers. This could change a lot of things for us, man. This could change a lot.

Yeah. Well, why don't you wrap on this new beat, man? I want to hear you. Yo. I would like everybody to listen to what I have to say. What's happening right now? I just restarted by that accent. That's good, though.

That's a good intro. What's up? My name is... I was on... I was on Season 2, episode 5 of the bear. I don't do that shit anymore. I don't act. I just get respect for being so...

real. I like to express myself acting is something that I put away. Now I don't get disrespect from the second AD's who go and tell me to take a nap for nine hours and then they wake me up

and give me chicken kebabs and I say this life is so amazing. How is my life so amazing? Sometimes I feel like I am supposed to be a little monkey. Now I'm going to pass it over Let's move Let's go to the next finger

Bro, let's go to the next beat This beat is so good though Let's go to this next beat This is by far the best teeth This beat makes me feel like I'm about three inches tall And my Oh wait yeah

We need a quasi-modo Give us some Can you make us Also have voices with this? Oh yeah Hold on Hello Hold on I know how to fix this

All right Everybody Hello Hello? Hello? Yo I am in my Mushroom

My house It's a mushroom. I make food in my mushroom. Even though my kitchen doesn't have much room. Whoa. Damn. I'm getting mushrooms. And my house is also a mushroom.

My house doesn't have that much room, but I have a new wreck room. When it comes to strength, there's nobody feebler. And I'm just the size of an elf, feebler. There's about 12 hours left for the 1 million population to get to the southern side of Palestine before Israel continues to seemingly escalate what is happening is the report I'm getting. I just have prayers for all the civilians. It's just unfortunate situation. Yeah, it's really terrible. I don't even, I really don't even like talking about it.

Yo, I got a Q-tip. Yeah, I really don't even. I'm using a leaf like a boat. I got a Q-tip. My stew has got a beef tip. Oh. Jesus Christ. You guys, listen, you are married.

Yeah. You are on your way. You are on your way. I'm not on my way. What are you talking about? So what's a problem? I can't wrap about being small. No, you can rap about it.

I'm wrapping about being small and living in a mushroom. What's wrong with being three inches tall? Yeah. Keebler. There's nothing. If I asked somebody who's three inches tall, I wouldn't say anything. You'll get real? You want us to get real?

You want us to get where you talk to? I just am thinking about, like, who is everybody's inspirations, right? Immortal technique, leaving the past, right? Yeah. Lucky the leopard. Point of no return, right? Yeah. Lucky the leprecha.

So you like cereal? That cereal. And that's what gets you crazy. I like grub. I like grub. I like grub the rock gnome. Who's that? It's a gnome that I've created in my mind.

Well, then it doesn't count. Oh, he should meet the golem in my head. Yeah. What is it Golem? Oh, what's a Golem? Is this a rock monster? It's a rock monster. You don't know about the Mint Golem that I've been thinking about for three years now?

Mint? Yeah, no, yeah. Mint like that's mint. Wait, wait. Is it a golem made of mint? Well, it's mint-flavored gollum, yeah. You lick them? Okay.

If you licked them, it would be minty, yeah. So it would brush your teeth for you. Well, like gum. It's a good part of that. Give me the next finger. All right, which one do you want? Let's go. Nick Cannon-type beat.

That cannon-type beat. Let's poison ourselves out to this shit. All right, here we go. I wish I was still small. I wish I was still small. I wish I was still small. I wish I was still small. I wish I was still small. You look like yeat. I'm a yeat. No. You look exactly like yeat. Make my voice low. No, I don't have that. I thought you had the voice lows. You look like a um. You know those Benito. Benito Benito

Bang Bang bang No I don't know the Benitos Can you tell me What are those I was just thinking You look like an onigiri

Oh like a food Fish food A food made a fish A rock and roll solo Whoa Oh wow Afro circus for Madagascar How did you do this

FL Studio free trial Wow Do we have to wait This one's supposed to be for wrapping I thought you guys were gonna wrap I thought you guys were gonna wrap over this Wrap over the rock man Nobody can do that

Yeah he's not even a drum You can wrap over that What are you talking about And do it Well it's done now Wow Hey you know the timing so well That was smooth

I think you guys are gonna wrap over this Man I don't like this rock and roll shit To me I think that it is Cock and Bull shit And I think it smells like poop And I think that you look like a piece of poop. This is like, uh, this feels like a rap about your depression kind of beat. Yeah.

Okay. Damn, I'm so sad. My life is so bad. And Jack is going to sue the rest of this part. All right. When I was on the set of the bear, I tried killing myself once a minute. It felt so disrespectful to be acting in it. I didn't even like to be experiencing it.

When I was acting, I felt like I was a giraffe who didn't have thumb so I couldn't even kill myself because I couldn't hold a gun like that. Oh. How come animals don't have thumbs And so they can't even kill themselves What they really wanted to If a horse had a thumb Would it, and it was acting in the bear

Would it take itself out? I don't Yeah, I think the rock and roll solo is coming again Alright There's another one? It's just on a loop Well, it's not over yet You put two in?

I might have You put two rock There might be two rock solo But you're just going to every few seconds Maybe it's about to happen again I got evil thoughts in my brain everybody in the world is going to get destroyed by my plane I'm going to bring it my plane to the whole world

and all their guts are going to be world world around with my big plane you're going to kill people with a plane I can use my brain to concoct a plane plan I'm a bad man This is like 9-11 the musical

Do you understand what I intend to me I had a bit about that kind of Not even a bit, maybe just a line. All right, well, player, stop the finger. We'll hear the line. Well, just the, you know, so on 9-11, two planes flew into the buildings, right? Yeah. We're lucky to crash him into the planet because then it would have been a huge accident.

All right, hit the beat again. You haven't even wrapped one time. You're afraid of this beat. This beat is bringing out parts of me that I never knew. We're lucky this isn't the fingers of death because I feel like they might have gotten us. You think we would have died? You would have died on this beat? I think Sway would have had to drop the guillotine.

on us. No, in this finger. I don't like this finger. What about the next? What about jalopy beat? You do, do hicky? Let's hear it. Let's hear your wrapover dohiki beat. I'll wrap on do hickie beat. All right. Ready? Here's do hickie beat from Patrick. All right. Ready? I fuck with Patrick. All right. Okay. Hmm. It's tropical. Depression pulling me down. The session's making me frown. I am in a recession all around my town. I'm feeling like I'm in a circus. I'm in a circus. I'm in a, the circus with 30 kids walking around with burkas i'm in the circus wearing a burqa i don't have anything except my shirt because because i got two shirts on got my whole work on i'll tell you what this song is

about here start it over start over all right ready all right this is you want to start from the top yeah because this is this is bringing to light a story that i have okay is it about the bear nope Let me tell you the story about the time I was on set of the bear Jeremy on White slipped me 600 milligrams of acid Jeremy Island White gives me a giant piece of cheese Little did I know it was full of LSDs Then I eat them and I go And he tells me to start acting but then I start sweating

And the director's going dude why are you acting so strangely And I go I don't know Somebody must have drugged me And it was Jeremy Allen White Slipping cheddar cheese Toxic cheddar cheese In my throat Like white

And then I had to wonder what's happening Jeremy I'm white Must be controlled by the government Never trust people Well he lives He lives in the neighborhood We should go to his house And make him pay for what he did

For my cheese Somebody I know saw Jeremy Allen White On a subway He was dressed up Exactly like a chef That's the true Someone I know saw him wearing a mask and a hat

Trying to hide his identity On the subway Except he was dressed up like a chef Man you play a chef on TV people are going to recognize you, man. This is a beat that you can't listen to for that long because it starts to make you feel bad. Yeah, this has a dark carnival.

What is dark about this? This is an ICPB. There is literally a chime in it. Let's just try rapping about happy stuff to try and counteract it. It's in a minor thing. Hey, it's me. I am at the circus, and I am eating a lot of peanuts come a circus.

Okay. Peanuts at the circus. I hate this beat too. What is wrong with this beat? Turn this beat off. It makes me uncomfortable. What about the last one? I can't do that beat, dude.

Yeah, that beat was... That beat is whack. Your beats were terrible, man. My beats were not both terrible. They were difficult to flow. They were unscrupulous. They were unscrupulous. What are you talking about?

You told the word right out of my mouth. The first beat was... The first beat had a Nick Cannon-type feel. Nobody knows what that means. Nobody knows who Nick Cannon does. The only Nick Cannon song I know is his Eminemian... We're going to detox. Okay.

Dr. Dre. We should get some... We're just detoxing for a second here. This is definitely my favorite one. I still have one more, but I just... where you're going to cleanse the energy a little bit. Oh, that feels like burning sage. That feels good.

It's like burning, man. I feel like I'm falling over. This is like listening to smoke. This is like smoke coming. You know smoke coming out of your ears because you're angry? This is smoke going into your ears because you're calm. Because it's fine. That's what this feels like.

Oh, I'm so calm. The smoke is flying into my ears. Let me get my smoke back here. And I'm turning blue. Oh, God. You're smart. Oh, this is nice. This is like when you're in your hometown.

You know what I mean? This is done. This feels like walk-around music. This is overworld music. This is a gnome. I made this for Thanksgiving-type. Is it Thanksgiving-type beat?

First Thanksgiving-type beat. Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. Let's eat the turkey. Thanksgiving. Have you guys seen them? Put on a shirt, please. Thanksgiving.

Sing that to your uncle at Thanksgiving. He's in the living room. No shirt on. He doesn't wear a shirt? You don't have any uncles? No. What about your heart? Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. Put on a shirt. Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving. Okay. Yeah, that works. Okay, we got the hook. This is like the commentary from Stepbrothers.

Have you all seen that? No. Stepbrothers' DVD commentary. Did they say something funny? It's completely a musical improv. Really? Yeah. And they have Gilbert Arena.

This is a musical improv. This is rap. Yeah, this is freestyle. All right. This is like epic rap battles and history times shit. Yes. This next and final beat will... The last finger?

Give me the last finger, man. I need to hear that shit. Battle of history type beat. Let me just make sure it's on the loop here. It's on loop. Let's hear it. All right, here we go. Cameron's final beat.

The last finger. The sixth finger of music, everybody. Daddy finger, Daddy finger, where are you? Here I am. Here I am. I'm ready. DJ Dr. Dazzle. Monster Music

Real alternative comedy shit Podcast about list Five Fingers of Music featuring Jack Benzinger Sponsored by Icelandic Glacial Water It's time for my finger

Oh my God You've expressed yourself Wow Express yourself A little bit This is incredible Wow. This is like a mix of every beat we've heard so far.

Oh my gosh. Why do you always have one really good beat that you come with? Well, this one is just a drum loop, so I can't take full credit. You can take the full credit. You can press finger credit on it. Let's play that one more time. Yeah, I got to hear the play it. Can you say it along with it?

Do you think? I don't think I remember what it says. I'll try. Okay, you try. Let's give it a go. Here we go. Daddy finger, daddy finger, hey guys, well, here I am. DJ Dr. Dazzle. Tickle Monster Music, real alternative comedy shit.

Who's Dr. Dazzo? Who knows? You make him up. Five fingers of music. I thought you were going to sing the lyrics. You better be ready to start. You better be a very ready to go. What am I going to rap about?

I don't know what I would possibly sing about. I got nothing to say. The Bear Season 2 was Not my best time in my life I didn't like it And nobody gave me an Uber there So I lost money doing it And then I went home

And I was afraid of the airplane And then I got back And then I did They put me in an outfit That didn't make me look like Somebody not from Norway And And they didn't

And then I had to quit acting Now but it's okay Because rap is my My delicious activity. Oh, my God. Wait. Can you say your line from the Bears season two?

Yo, aren't you the guy that invented... Wait. You're one of the first people we knew to make a website. That's right. Yo, yo, you're one of the first people we know to make a website.

And then what do I say? Something like... Nice, nice. And then Eric goes, there. Oh, he's back at it again. Yeah. Got to be the best scene

in the entire show, man. Where were those samples in this song? Oh, we can't talk about it because SAG is still on strike. Oh. So we got to delete the whole episode? Delete the whole thing, man. Just put a frequency.

Delete the whole episode, I don't give a motherfucker. Whoa, that's badass. Yeah, keep saying it. Delete the whole ep, I don't give a motherfucker. Like, delete my whole body. What? Remember that song? Delete your body.

Delete my whole body. That's kind of sad. I turn into the potty. You turn into a toilet? I'm the human toilet. This might be an example. exhausting episode to listen to. No, people like this show.

People are crazy. I guess I do. Somebody's going to set this episode as a ringtone. No, I will. This is a good ringtone, actually. If a ringtone's not an hour long, ringtone music. We're just talking over it.

Yeah, we haven't wrapped at all. JFK, assassinated with a giant bullet, some say. But I say that it was actually four bullets intersecting, doing dissecting of his head and directing. There was a director there because I think the whole thing was a movie. Yeah. I think that it was a movie. I think Stanley Kubrii was in charge of it.

Or that's not his name, Stanley Kubrick. I got a new brick that I built my house with. And then I went back to take a shit. Out of my new house, had a new toilet. And then I had to drink my own spit because I'm so damn thirsty. Yep. Hand me a shirt, please. Because I got to wipe up the spit that I spilled.

But I don't spill. I'm not a spiller. I'm Ben Stiller. Ben Stiller. Tropical Thunder. Tropical Thunder. Wait a minute, Tropical Thunder. I saw a guy in the real world say that one time.

Tropical Thunder? I was in a Banya, a Russian Banya bath house. Wow. And these kind of off-duty cop type guys were sitting and talking about movies. He was like, dude, you've got to watch this movie called Tropical Thunder. Damn. I watched about five minutes of the beginning. I watched all the ads today.

Yeah. Tropical Thunder. You've never seen it? You need to plunder through a blockbuster to find this movie so you can muster up the courage to watch an R-rated movie. And then go home. and put on shoes please have you guys battled each other yet no but i'm about to i'm gonna kill your whole career yeah you were in the bear didn't even see her anywhere in the movie or the show in the season two i thought the movie blowed i thought it completely sucked i think i don't give a

fuck about movies or tv acting is not for me i think that they should have made it about art instead of food because art is way better than food you don't need food to live only art Am I supposed to respond to that? Yeah, so you're... That's rude. That's rude. That's rude. That's rude.

Of course, you said, where are you, we're battling, and then I battle you and you don't even have the... You said, oh, what are you supposed to respond? I'm going to do the full intro again. That's fine. There's nothing I can do about it. I thought this might happen. But I didn't think of anything to do. This will give you time to think of an amazing remodel.

what could you even say about me man podcast about list basically nothing that could be said about me and my feelings can't get hurt featuring Jack Benzinger sponsored by Icelandic glacial water

we got a case of that for free by the way you fucking ball piece of shit I'll come to your house and beat the fuck out of your dog and slit its fucking throat bitch I don't even like you I don't even fucking like you man I'll break the shit out of you that's right No, I'm gonna come and come and fucking fucking kill you, man. I'm gonna put a fucking knife and slice you up in like tofu.

Oh, I rhyme. There you go, tofu. And guess what then? Then I'm gonna come to your house and kill you. And then I'm gonna come to your house. I'm going to give you a big ass hug with a fucking knife that was going to be in my shop. And then, um, I know. Why'd you have to go?

Why'd you have to be? Relax. Instead of being violent, I wish you had been silent. Yeah, don't be. I wish your hat was violet. Instead of this ugly as blue. It looks like poo. Poo is blue. I think poo is blue. That's because all I eat is berries that are blue. And it makes my poo completely blue. And I think it's that color instead of brown. You should go ahead and move right out of town. Also on your hat, there's a typo. And I think that you need LIPO.

Damn way. Change your name to Mikeo. Change your name to Mikeo. All right. Three versus one rap battle. You guys don't know who you got just got into a battle with. It's me because I'm crazier than 600 bullion cubes on top of a castle. Now look at you. You the name is Cameron. I just am so disappointed. because you don't even remind me of a lantern. And look at you, your name is Patrick. I'm going to have to put you inside of the letter K because you're ketchup. And what's your name? Caleb, I already disrespect to both your friends. So now I'm putting you in the ground like cable.

That's more of a letter scrambles. You had a jumble. It's not really a freestyle. It's more of a jumble. I feel like I tried the rapper thing. It didn't quite work out. I might have to go back to acting, but they're probably not going to take me back after everything I said about the bear.

so I might have to go into hiding sports. Sports is fun, okay. You're tall enough to play sports. You could do sports. You could fingerboard. I've seen you. I saw you earlier. I think.

You can get sponsored by Black River Ramps. I feel like I have a way. Every time I come on this podcast, I say the first eighth of a word. It happens every time. Every time. Yeah, you invent a new word. I just,

some Mesopotamian sound. It's crazy, man. Okay, guys. This is a joint tactics. Jack Benziger is going to be doing some more acting, so if you have, if you like watching TV, just look out for him. If you like movies or shows. Do you have any Amazon Prime digital rewards?

Any time period, if there's any cast and directors who want me to get up on their show, I'll do something from any time period. Croatia. Croatia. Croatia. Croatia. He'll do Croatia. He'll do Croatia-type. Croatian ages.

Check out Joy Tactics. It's very good. It has Nate Verone and Eric Ray Hill. Nobody else on it. They have a robot who does the intro. They have a guest sometimes. There's also, though, you have to buy a ticket to our sketch shows the last time. We can say that.

Sketch show on Friday. If you're listening to this day, it comes out, it's in two days. Give us a little preview, man. Okay, so basically we will have a sketch where there's going to be a sketch that me and Pierce wrote, where we're weird kids. Yep. Oh, that'll be great. I have one with a big iPad.

Yeah. We have Caleb as a little kid and then. Okay, well, don't spoil everything there. How big is this iPad? Just give us an idea. I'll show you. We have a sketch called liquid droid.

Is that like liquid death but for a robot? That's just, don't spoil it. Don't spoil it. That's the point of a teaser is you spoil it. We got all the names of the sketches written on that board right there. I can see that. I can't see that.

Guys, I hope you enjoyed these. fingers, they created a six-fingered fist and you're getting punched in your fucking face. See you next time on a podcast about less. Bye. I could tell you what I would say. If I was on, if I was, I was representing myself here in this case, I would, you know how I, I seal the deal?

I say, I would say, well, I'd do the kiss at the end. Okay, because I would start. I would start sealing the deal, but I would finish sealing the deal with a kiss. I would say, could I please have everybody direct their attention to exist? A, and then I would have an exhibit with all the evidence that proves. Oh, right. But you guys, I have to say one thing, this, this court fantasy is very, I'm loving this a lot.

But you guys, we did get the last laugh. We did get the last laugh. We got the last laugh. And this is what I was, this is what Patrick was asking me what I was texting. I was sending this over. Okay. This is a strike that we made in the war. Listen, you guys may have won the war by making us pay money, but we,

have we got we got soldiers of fortune we had one this was like the guys in japan that didn't know that world war two was over oh yeah wait this is the this is the call okay this is a soldier in the field we have we got shooters turn that up it's up as it will go um okay i just had some questions for you that's all right Yeah. No, do you pick up human feces? Okay, what if I hide it in the bag? Like, will you check?

No. They'll check that for human feces. How do you guys check that? He opens up the bag and he checks for that? He opens up the bag and he checks for that. It seems strange. I think that's the end of the call, yeah. Yeah.

And if you thought, if you think and check for human feces, that's what, that's apparently what is going to do. I don't know if we should be saying their name because we just admitted that we could get break calling. We could get Pierce in a lot of legal trouble.