Podcast About List - Ep. 266 - The Five Weeks of Planets: Saturn

Episode Date: November 15, 2023

We move into the third week of planets with Saturn, the planet with the biggest and brightest rings. I wonder what we'll learn today... Watch the full video for this episode youtube.com/@PodcastAboutList Buy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

We made it. We made it, y'all. We made it. Today is the halfway point. The halfway point. Three day one. We're hanging in the planetary system. And think about the week.

What happens every week, man? Hump day comes right there in the middle. Hump day. No hump day in the planetary week. None, dude. It's all up. It's two days. You know who likes hump day?

Up, up, up. Camels. Like the commercial. Camels like cigarettes, man. All right. They can like two things. They like the desert sand. They can make two things at once.

I guess you're right. Is it true that water, they store their water in their hump? They store their water in their rings of Saturn. Today's Saturn. Today is Saturn. They stored in their rings of Saturn. I'm not thinking much today. That's okay.

Dude, turn your brain off and just let this shit flow through you. Yeah, that's what this is all about. I need a diet Coke or something. I need, like, some kind of, I woke up too early this morning. You don't need this fucking. You're always like, man, I need a caffeine. I need a performance enhancing. I need pee.

Drew, right now, you sound like, you sound like basically any guy you'd find in an alley. Exactly. Some scumbags. A homeless. A homeless. A hobo. There's a homeless guy. There's a homeless guy who changed up his story around here.

Like, I've seen him, like, he comes to, like. Is it the guy who started to pretend to be mentally disabled that we've, talked about before? Maybe. But this guy has been pretending to be Palestinian. Yeah, it's the same guy.

Yeah, now he had it. He used to be Dominican. He says Palestinian, Argentinian. Palisian, Palestinian. It's a good rhyme. Well, that's, I think, why, how he came up with it.

But he used to just be a guy who would walk around and ask people for money. And then he started doing a crazy voice for a disability that nobody's ever had. And then he's now saying that he's Punish disorder. Yeah.

I had something called sponge disease and it makes me it makes me laugh weird it's kind of how he talked and then he uh now he started saying he's Palestinian and I honestly like what could this guy's got hustle it's called the grind yeah yeah how am I gonna be mad at he knows he knows he knows what he's doing too he knows he's a pro he knows where he's walking around he's a pro dude oh he's a fucking pro I made an amazing discovery this week which is I started going on the Ridgewood subreddit guys The Ridgewood subreddit is some of the most vilely racist stuff ever posted in the universe on this.

Really? Yeah, I mean, I forget how... Is it people who just moved here who aren't so happy that maybe there was a community here beforehand? Yes, pretty much. A Polish community, though. Well, for me, my favorite part of Ridgewood band, completely 100% is every single Saturday night.

If it is after 4 p.m., I will see about 100 Mexicans. guys who are all five two and they are all the drunkest person I've ever seen my life and they are they are all kind of free roaming on a quest yeah just red going they're going into every store on the street

and all switching and coming out like a Scooby-Doo thing I feel like I need to it feels like literally falling down to they're all doing the thing where they start to walk and they're walking makes them lean forward and that makes them have to run so they don't fall over they're all it's stumble yeah it's some kind of that drunk in a minute it's some kind of MMRPG that we are Not part of.

Every single Saturday night. It's incredible. It's so beautiful. They talk to each other, text above their heads and get each other quest. They literally are. They're in a hub. It's so fucking awesome. Dude, it's incredible.

I went to in town. When Kai was here, when Kai was here, I was telling him about it. And then I was like, and then he like came to my apartment and he's like, dude, I saw them. Just like, those guys are awesome. They have everything figured out. It's because they works, like, if you, the only reason to ever get that drunk is because because your job is so fucking hard. And every Saturday, you just, you got to just light it off.

Yeah. Light it off. We're not shaming them or anything. We're saying they have like to figure out. I think it's incredible. I do. I'm not being a, I would probably feel a little bit different if they were all like seven feet tall.

I would probably feel a little bit scared if a bunch of giant guys, but because it's all like, they're all really small. It's cute to me. It's really cute. Yeah. I have seen them. I have seen them. Yeah, I love to see they all pee on the wheels of cars.

Oh, I picked that up from them. They learn something every day from them. It's like a human instinct, man. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's just like, being of the wheel of a car is sublime. You pick the nicest car on the bottom. It's 7 p.m.

Not even making any attempt to hide what you're doing at all. Yeah. Peeing on just beautiful. Oh, yeah. I like it. It's free. It's the most free thing you can do. It's freedom.

It's pure freedom. Mm-hmm. Sometimes they'll be lying down on the sidewalk. I think maybe they're dead. Yeah. Yeah, the other day, the other day I was walking down the street, there's a fucking asleep guy on the ground. And a lady was standing over him. And I walked past and she was like, she said, do you know this guy?

And I was like, first of all, that doesn't, maybe I was wearing the wrong kind of outfit that day. But I was like, no, I don't know this guy. I think he's asleep. She was like, I think he's fucking dead. And he had like a beer bottle next to him. And I was like, I don't think he's dead. And she's like, he's dead. She called 911.

Yeah. And then he got fucking arrested. Oh my god You're so worried about this guy that you sent him to jail That's crazy That's insane Yeah someone we know Just let the guy first be asleep bro

Someone we know was like hanging out And like There's somebody like nodding off And like the comment or whatever And they call like If you call the cops Because you think the guy is dead You're allowed to poke them

You just poke them one time Just talk to them They're never dead It's crazy to not even try to poke somebody You always have to poke them for If they were dead, you'd know. Yeah. Exactly.

You'd know. You wouldn't, and also, if they were dead, you would not call the cops. You would leave. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to deal with a dead guy. I would.

That's a bummer. That got arrested. The thing is, if you're, if the guy's dead, you're not helping anybody. No. He's already dead, man. Yeah. Just fucking. You pick him up.

You bring him to the trash yourself. Yeah, exactly. If you want to help, if you want to help. Yeah. Put him in the trash. If someone's asleep. If someone's asleep on the street. Oh, that's actually.

good point. Actually, not if you know that they're dead on the street. That's the same thing as poking them. If somebody is asleep on the street or not responsive on the street, just start putting them in the trash. If they're awake, they're going to stop you. They're going to get mad. Yeah. And then you just go like, sorry, man. I thought you're fucking dead. Here's a true thing.

The lead singer of Slipknot, Corey Taylor, a very famous story that he when he was a kid, he overdosed and his friends threw him into a dumpster and left him to die. So what I'm saying is, you run into a guy who's sleeping on the street or maybe looks like he could be dead. throw him in the trash.

Like, okay, worst case scenario, you get in trouble for touching a dead guy. Yeah. Best case scenario, he makes incredible music. Incredible music. Incredible music. Incredible music that stands the test of time. Exactly. For decades.

Stuff that holds up and never ever sounds odd. Yeah. Yeah. Stuff that is now weird. Right. Or lame. I think I need to try being thrown in the trash. Yeah.

Guy nods off. I watched a video. I watched these videos today that was this guy's like, one of those like dumb. like dumpster diving YouTube channels. Oh, yeah. But it's the fakesest thing I've ever seen in my entire life where he's like, he's like, oh, let's see what's in here. Oh, wow, Rolex in the trash. Wow, that's all. He's like finding insane. He found a full 16 pack of Bud Light in the trash. Oh, damn. It's just, I mean, this guy needs to try harder. Yeah. Like, nobody's throwing that shit away. Nobody's believing that. No, I'm not believing that. I don't even believe when people do,

when it's the videos that are like my thrift store hall. Yeah, it could be the way. It could be the, it could be stuff that is not interesting or cool or expensive. I still wouldn't believe it. You can't even buy nice stuff. Because of eBay, every store, every guy who owns like a thrift store or a pawn shop looks up everything that they have to see if it's really expensive. Dude, it was so sick. Dude, you go to a thrift store.

They're selling like a Carhart pair of jeans for like $100. Yeah. Like what the... Vintage Carhart. What the hell, yeah. It's like, oh, this one has like the paper tag instead of like the printed one. and it's like oh yeah this is like carhart like you find like Levi's orange tabs anywhere like that's gonna run you like those I've seen them go for like 60 dollars they're just jeans

from the 70s a DVD a DVD copy of the Lord of the Rings the Two Towers is like $5 now it's supposed to be 25 cents what the hell happened to thrift stores are they fell off man they're completely it's because it's because of COVID it's because COVID and then everyone learned that you can start your own fucking depop store there was a there was a speaking of I got some items. There's a thrift store. There's a thrift store. And Wall thing that I used to go to.

They would literally, they were selling books. And it sold every book no matter what for 25 cents. I felt like I was stealing every time. It's insane, bro. And now you go and it's fucking, you go, and it's a, it's a book that nobody has ever heard of. You can't even find it on Google. There's no interest for it at all.

It's a sci-fi book that somebody wrote before sci-fi was invented. It's falling apart. There are termites living inside the pages, and it's $17. I'm about to blow your mind if you like book deals, bro. The library completely free. You go, you check out, you check out five. It's not free the way I use it.

How do you use it? I keep the books. Yeah. They can't charge you until you go back and then I'd go back. Why would you go back, man? To get another one. I remember when I was a kid, taking a book from the library and it being way overdue and the feeling of shame as you walk up to that thing with the third Harry Potter book

and you just put it on the desk, you're like, you're a grot. You have stubble on your face because it's been so long since you checked it out. and you're like yeah yeah no dude you just you just throw it in the book drop and you leave yep no because then you have to pay for it man no you can just throw in the book drop and just don't check out another book and then they try to yeah they'll send you mail that's fucking true but i'm going and i'm trying to read the first 18 pages of the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy man i got to go to the library yeah well just don't check the book out just sit there like it's a reference book sit there like you're looking through like looking through a laws i used to

be way too ambitious with the books that i would get from the library as a child yeah i would be I was like eight years old and saw the Charlie Brown where he reads War and Peace and I was like I'm gonna read that book and then I got it from the library to go home that thick a bunch of fucking nonsense

I used to take out this book from the library that was like I think 1,000 pages and it was the encyclopedia of rock and roll it's the Rolling Stone Encyclopedia of rock and roll

it's like this big that's badass dude I would just read about like it was just different it was any band has appeared in Rolling Stone. So I just read about bands in there. And then that's how I found out.

That's how I found music when I was like nine years old. That's how I found like Frank Zappa. I would just like, I wonder who's in Z. I wonder who starts with Z. I would just check out every single book they had about Bigfoot in the Loch Ness Monster. Yeah, that's a good. I went to probably like 20 of those. I mean, I read every dinosaur book.

I'm going to be honest. Yeah. I was taking out graphic novels. Yeah, that's what I was going to say too. Like the five comic books they had. Yeah. I would just,

justice league young or young titan teen titans and stuff i was young justice i was reading bone man i was not reading bone oh dude bone man is different thing bone man is not very good but bone was i don't even know what bone was about it was about i never read about some whitties about bones about bones who are in love with a women it was about two white bones it walked around it was a big bone and a little bone yep and they would walk around one of them sounds like something i have dreamed of one of them was named bone yeah and the others all had bone in their name yeah so it was about just like basically bone bone bone phone bone was that really his name phone bone the big guy one of them was named phone bone maybe that was the really it could have been the phone there was a

character named the rat king that's a good name was he a bone or no he was a rat oh shit that's a monster no he was a monster oh it looked like a rat maybe a little bit i can't remember anything that happened in those books and i can just visualize them the rat monsters i know what there was a bone named phone bone i was into the alternative graphic novels like that and mouse you know your ass was reading Mouse, bro. I was reading mouse and I was like, this shit can never happen again, bro. I read Mouse for, we were doing the, it was like the unit in seventh grade for the Holocaust, and I read Mouse. The what? I died. We did a unit on the Holocaust. I definitely made fun of some kids for reading Mouse. Yeah. Dude, you didn't like history, bro. I definitely, looking back.

Opening up the preacher as you're making, man, mouse is gay. Yeah. Oh, you read Mouse. Watchmen. Watchmen so close to your face. looking at the penis. X-Men. I remember somebody brought Watchman, this kid, Paul Winder, who I think grew up to be a Nazi. He brought Watchman to

the middle school and we were passing it around literally, I mean, like it was porn. The blue mask. Yeah, and just looking at the cock. Yeah. They drew a dick in there. And just not even, but just we're excited to see any kind of drawn nudity.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was so exciting to us in sixth grade. I mean, you had the computer then. But there's some, Something about the, like, the computer was too easy. The smell of the book. The smell of the book that all the guys had used. And it's a story. It's a comic.

Exactly. Yeah. Well, that was something as a kid. Nudity was scary when you look it up on the computer. But if it's contextualized in a movie or something, you go like, that's awesome. What I always thought about that. It's really funny that they kind of, they show his dick like a few times. But then a bunch of the other time, they do the like, they do full Simpsons movie.

Yeah. Coffee mode and stuff. It's like, what? Just show the dick. Show it every time. I mean, that just means the guy who was drawing it just got a little bit. Yeah, he drew it once and he's like, Why am I so good at drawing this fucking dick?

He based it on his own, too, which is the saddest part. Did he really? That's the reason that Dr. Manhattan is blue was just so it would match the creator's blue penis. Oh, because it was so devoid of air. Uh-huh. And it kind of turned blue. Yeah. Yeah.

You guys, for a penis to turn blue. Enough of this cock talk. Let's talk planets. Okay. Let's talk Saturn. Let's go through the outfits here. Let's start with Caleb, because you have an interesting outfit on. All right, I flopped.

You flopped? I think I, yeah, I think I flopped. I could think of anything, so I dressed up, like, the ring, because there's a ring on Saturn. I think we may be all flopped today. Well, I'm dressed at, I think that none of us own any Saturn clothes I'm gathering. Yeah. Yeah. I just wore the Jupiter thing.

Oh, we could have dressed up like cars. Oh, like a Saturn. I was maybe going to, I was going to, because Saturn is kind of like brown. beigeish color I feel like so I was going to maybe I did if I had had had a shirt that was that color I was going to wear that and then put like a duct tape ring my stomach but I didn't even have a shirt that was that color so I'm just dressed as as as the rings yeah I love then one picture I looked there kind of blue and green yeah I was like the rings too yeah and then I went to the barber shop

this morning I don't know I think you got your hat band I think my shit got fucked up. I don't know. It looks good. What did you ask him for? I asked them for the ring of Saturn. And they did this? And they gave me this.

Damn. What is up with our barbers and being interested in planets this month? I know. It's really surprising. These guys are really, really knowledgeable, too. Like, they knew what a ring was.

Look at this. I mean, this shit is too fire. So for our audio listeners, Patrick has a one. He's completely bald, except for a ring of hair around the top of his head. And I think that, honestly, now that I'm seeing it on camera, you like it. I think that this is going to catch on as a hairstyle.

It looks really good. I was so excited because when I walked in and saw you on the computer, I did see through the back of your hat. I could see the line. God damn it. I was like, I should have worn a fitted. Did you see the part where I cut way too close to his skin and he has no hair at all? Well, at first I saw, what I saw is I saw the back of his neck. he has one part that's not shave it all off so well and I was like no dude you have a great job you screwed up now I'm gonna shave the whole damn thing off you need to you need like one week of this I think I look like well yeah hold up you do have to you have to hold on to this for as long as possible this is a good once you get something I mean this is so much power there if there's one regret I have in my life one regret it's that I didn't keep my navie braid for for for longer than I did how long did I kept it for only a

couple weeks because I was going home for Christmas and I did not want to have to my family ask about it. He's explained, well, there's basically a planet. Yeah, I know. But that's why it's a regret. Oh, yeah. Because I wish I hadn't done. That's what regret. Oh, I guess you're right. That is like I did something different than what I did.

Yeah. Oh, okay. I thought you were just saying that you're glad you did it. Or at least that I had cut it off and then framed it in my house. I knew a kid who had one of the Pat, the, the, the Padawan braids. Yeah, in school when we had it for two years straight. Whoa. I know a kid with a rat tail. Me too.

He also carried his zippo around. Rat tail's so long that it started to turn blonde at the end. Whoa. That's cute. That is cool. It's kind of gross. That's like when a guy's got these long beard and then at the end it turns crazy.

I think it's more like when a guy grows his fingernails out for 100 years. Yeah. It's more of that vibe. It feels more like a rip van Winkle. Yeah. Did he grow hair and nails? He slept. Yeah, but he's.

He was sleeping. Did he grow them in his sleep? He slept. He probably was still growing in his sleep, I guess. Yeah. I mean, I guess he had a beard when he woke up. He had a beard when he woke up, but they didn't even think about his hair and nails. Those also grow.

Those don't stop growing when you die. His hair is probably long, too. Well, he wasn't dead. I know, but they definitely, you're, okay, but they're definitely going to still be there when you're asleep. Yeah. You're saying the hair? The hair and the nails would still grow even while he was asleep. How long did he sleep for?

A hundred years. A hundred. One hundred years. I do think I need that level of sleep. Pretty soon. Pretty soon. I need to catch up. I've been in trouble.

You've been in trouble? I've been in trouble. I've been having scary dreams, man. Me too. Yeah. Scary. Really scary. I've been having horrible waking nightmares.

Waking as in they wake you up, not as in. No, as in I'm awake and my dream is coming into reality. That's more of a power than a dream. Yeah. You have some kind of. don't say yeah you admitting to have a power you're not supposed to do that the government will get you don't like it's not a power i can't control it oh i woke up and i there i saw a one million bugs like all on every wall of my room that's really scary man oh no flying oh okay

some roaches in my pantry the other day they're everywhere man it's fucked up there in every building in this city right now what the hell's happening with these roaches we have been we have been engaged in a war citywide i've seen them at the store yeah whoa Anywhere else? My house. Okay. You've seen them at the store? What store?

The store next to my house. Oh. So I've heard people say that they've had them. I saw one at the restaurant. In your food? No. No? No.

On the wall. Oh. And they're just, I'm just saying, be careful. They are disgusting, man. They are gross. They made me hate bugs. I don't, I've never liked bugs. You have been fond of bugs for some time.

I wouldn't even call myself fond of bugs, but I wouldn't even call myself fond of bugs, but I don't let it I don't care You'll let it slide I let it slide If there's a spider I would like to leave it In its web

And look at it every day Rather than destroy it With a salt shotgun I love those I like that we've invented The salt guns We're an amazing idea And I think they should expand it

To more things A salt crossbow Does Saturn have any salt on it We could do that It probably has minerals I think there's salt in its rings There's salt in its rings I don't know man

I don't know I have no idea probably even cares about Saturn Can we learn about Saturn? Yeah, do we want Should I pull out there? No, I care about Saturn. I want to fucking learn about Saturn, man.

We're getting too distracted with these bugs. I'm dressed like one of the most beautiful girls of all time. A child? Is it Planet Report Time, y'all? I think it might be Planet Report time. He said the child from the ring is one of the most beautiful women he's ever seen. He likes Japanese girls.

Wasn't she like seven? What? No, like 13. She's been in the TV for ages Okay You do you, I guess Yeah, I will fucking do me I'm jumping in that well

You mean crawling out Crawling out My well This screen is on the screen This screen is on the TV Here I come I crawl I'm killing you

For real With fear Killing you with Fier There's something in the TV just below the surface She's crawling Appalling

Wow Okay Damn Join us once again On a five-week Galactic journey Through our solar system Be prepared to learn

And to laugh a little too And now The Planet Report with Cameron Fetter Oh yeah Okay guys Can I start doing that as part of the thing? What doing what? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, can we have that in? We can add that. If you send me a... Yeah, I'll send you this here. Send me to send me this. Oh, yeah. Can you send me that? I'll send you that.

Yeah, extract that. Can you extract that? I'll extract it. Okay, today's Planet Report is called There's Something About Saturn. A Planet Report by Cameron Federer. Ooh. Let me prop up my phone here.

Okay. Prop up your fun? Yeah. I want to give Saturn another ring. Oh, please, baby. Just say yes. Saturn, I want to be with you forever. Something about your body.

More than 750 times the size of Earth just drives me mad with desire. Who wants to be Saturn? Me. We're so alike in so many ways. You have 146 moons. I have 146 moods From happy to sad

And everything in between You're named after the Roman god of agriculture My middle name is named after my uncle You revolve around the sun every 29.5 earth years And we both have days named after us You have Saturday And I have International Puppie Day March 23rd

I want to give you one more ring Saturn We could be so happy together I know this isn't your first rotation. After all, you already have eight rings. But things will be different with me. I'll treat you right. I know how to handle a planet composed primarily of hydrogen and helium. And I'm good with moons.

I grew up with a moon, so I don't mind being around them. Tethys and Titan love me. And I think I could be a great role model for them. I don't even care that you've been visited by four spacecraft before. Oh, Saturn, just say yes. Other people don't understand you like I do. Some people see an atmosphere that's negative 288.4 degrees Fahrenheit and contains methane and ammonia and run for the hills.

Not me. In fact, your atmosphere is one of the things I love about you. I think it makes you unique. Wow. You're always getting so down on yourself, but you've achieved so much in the 4.5 billion years you've been around. You were in the movie Interstellar. That's all I can think of right now, but you know you're something special.

we've been the long distance for a while now and I mean it honestly when I say I don't mind driving the 884 million miles to dick you down but I'm ready to take it to the next level let's move to Asheville, North Carolina and buy a house together baby I love you just say yes

oh my god that is so beautiful that was amazing dude it was a combination of so many I mean, I didn't know this. It was your taste. And about knowledge.

Yeah. This rings stuck on my fucking finger, man. I guess. Oh, God. I guess you have to wear it forever. Why do you want to take it? Well, you're not supposed to take it off. Okay, you're right.

Well, not until one of us passes away. Yeah. Passes gas. Saturn's a gas giant. True. It is, yeah, Saturn is beautiful. Again, we're kind of in

this zone of planets where I don't know that much about them. Yeah. And so this has been very, I need this planet report. It's opening my eyes to a lot of different stuff about, I didn't know, 75 or 750 times the size of Earth, man. BBW.

Yeah, that is a BBW. Nine times the diameter. Big, oh. Yeah, wait, I just came up with that. And one of the biggest, one of the biggest moons. Titan. Titan. Titan.

Yeah. Why is it's moon so big? Because it's a big planet. It can have a big moon. Because anything with a big bottom got a big moon. Facts. The fuck is up with that, man. Okay.

146 moons i hope he gives you 146 moons too moons you don't you love when you come home and your girl moonsie just walking around with their butt cheeks out with the butt cheeks popping out the top of the cheek's hanging out the top yep moot just full moon but flop that prank is too much you ever been moon mooned by a girl yeah yeah yeah put that thing away yeah what are you doing what the hell i only think this is funny on guys it's only funny on guys this is fucking I don't want to see all the It's funny when it's a guy's butt

Yeah or if you have a fucking pink If you have a pink don't don't dog Breathe about the mooning girl Don't you dare Stop it But dude I don't want to see No stop man we're not even Okay we're changing subject completely

What movies have you guys seen as of late I guess Here let me tell you guys about This really humbling experience I had Okay This past week it's not related to Saturn But we can bring it back to Saturn after once So, I was playing Fortnite with my buddies on the computer. Fortnight with buddies.

Legend, wait for it, Derry. Fortnite with buddies? Fuck me, man. Running trios with the buddies. I fucking love buddies. We were joking around. Oh, God, it gets better every second. We were doing a joke that was still making me laugh.

We were doing Elmer Fudd in World War I, and he's in the trenches, and he goes, Gwynade! One! Quinae! Twinch foot. Yeah. Oh, dear. My deo is Pusua.

My heart aches for you. All, you know, all type of Elmer Fudd. Yeah, of course. I get picked up in the... Loud, loud, rowdy, Elmer Fudd. Yeah. Hours. Hours of Elmer Fudd.

Yelling into my microphone. Bouncing with my buddies and Fortnite. Yelling as Elmer Fudd playing Fortnite. Life is a fucking movie, man. Playing Fortnite with my mancake skin. Yep. O.G. Fortnite. man.

I say, all right, guy, we get a, we get the Vic Royale. I say, all right, guys, I got to get off. I'll talk to you guys later, log off, close the computer. I walk into the other room and my fiancee is sitting at the dining room table and she's drinking a glass of wine and is playing smooth jazz music and is doing a puzzle. Oh my God. In complete silence. Shit, pisses me off, man.

I felt like, definitely heard every Elmerfoot. Of course, yeah. And she said, yeah, I, I, you said, yeah, I, was going to tell you to be quiet, but I didn't want to embarrass you. That's a good woman. Just pure, pure shock. Just, just completely blindsided. Oh, yeah.

God damn, dude. Why do they do that? Stuck with me, just I was, I felt like a kindergartner. Dude, I walk in. I was playing Fortnite. I'll play eight hours of video games. I'll walk in on a, like a Saturday where I'm like, oh, well, whatever. It's a Saturday.

I can do whatever I want. I walk into the living room. My wife has the day off, too. She's sitting there. She's knitted five scars. She literally looks exactly like a granny, like old grandmother, Tweety Bird-style granny.

She's like reading with one hand and doing that with the other. She has NPR playing. Like, what the fuck? How can you live like this? How the hell can you live like this? Why do women love yarn?

Don't you want a Dorito, bitch? Don't you want to go to Buffalo Wildlings with me? Yeah. What the hell are you doing? This is why I got to go there. I'm going to drive like 15 minutes out. A Saturday. Wild Wings and Mass Best.

Every single food that you eat on a Saturday should be sauced. It should be tossed in a bowl with sauce. You should get the sauce all over a white t-shirt. Even if it's Caesar salad. Yeah. And then you should watch like... It should be the gross Caesar salad from the buffet. Every Saturday you should say, I'm not really in the mood for a movie.

I don't want to commit to that. Instead, I'm going to watch 15 episodes of a 45-minute TV show. That's what you should be spending your time. I'm going to watch ridiculousness all day. Yeah, I'm literally going to watch 12 hours of TV, but a movie is too much. That's what it needs to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly that.

That's what the weekends are for. It's not for sitting there doing a hobby that's where you're making something. Literally, she's making fucking, you know, spoiler for my mom. She's making Christmas presents. Mom. She's making you a fucking Christmas. Bro. Mom, shut off that episode right now.

You're getting a fucking scarf for your shit. And by the way, Mom, by the way, you're getting the worst one she made. You're getting the first one she made because she made it and was like, I fucked this one up. I'll give it to your mom. Does your mom listen to this? No. No. He doesn't know how to access YouTube.

That's a good, that's a good mom trait to have. My mom, my mom texts me every once in a while. Why don't you follow me back on Instagram? What the fuck is wrong with you? That's so mean. I want to see your shit. Yeah.

You don't want to see pictures of your brother. No, dude, he's taller than me. That's true. He's 12 years old. He's six foot two. You're seeing a picture of him next to like a locker or something. And it's like, man, I wish I could be that tall. Why a locker?

Basketball team? has a certain height he's not good at basketball he's a golfer oh yeah he's got into golf okay and he just is like zero he's a kid he has like zero patience and he just like runs up to it and he's like yeah golf sucks hits it so perfectly like as hard as he can worst swing i've ever seen it's so fucking it's fucked up dude yeah happy Gilmore style it's happening to me having a brother that much younger than you it really is fully just you're being replaced oh yeah i'm being replaced he's funnier than me he talks about fucking he talks about fucking he's talking about his balls in a way I could never

at the dinner table saying my balls are stink they stink yeah I go that's fucking awesome man if I said that shit when I was your age my mom would kill me my mom was like oh stop talking about your stinky balls oh yeah well until after dinner my sister my sister like lives with

my mom so my nephews are still around like their grandparents so a lot of stuff is getting encouraged that shouldn't yeah I think I said it before but they learned about breast feeding oh yeah and they make fun of each other they make fun of each other for

having breastfed they say yeah but you sucked on mom's boobs to end arguments they're right dude that shit is a good comeback that shit is crazy that's a funny thing to say that is just wrong man yeah we need to be all the it needs to be

powder everything should be powder oh yeah I think that that should not you should not be putting a baby on your stuff man you especially not fucking especially mine in my house you're not sucking on my nipple. No, my nipple. There's almost none. You're gonna just get hair in your mouth, you fucking idiot? Do you guys know about that's why Kevin Gates lost weight? No. He lactated? No, he held his friend's baby. Oh, yes. The baby tried to suck his dead. And then he lost

like 100 pounds. Damn. Yeah. That's so sick, man. That is really funny. All right, I have, I'd like to talk about my painting. Okay. I really would like to talk about my painting. I sent it to you, Julio. Sent it on Discord or sent it to the account. I think if you put some gel in it Got to be glued You got to be glued You know what I should have done Do we still have the disposable razors here?

I could have fucking... Oh, you want to shave that? I could shave it down. Like my kind of slide. So you have to think you got the wrong count. Uh-oh. That's awkward. We need to...

Oh, I get to blade with this ring. No, you don't. That's my fucking ring. Don't break it. Whoa. I need to bring that back to my house. Well, how do you need to bring it back to the house? That's his fucking wedding.

ring, man. This is your, that's my wedding ring. This is what you engaged to your I sent it in the DMS. Of course not. The podcast about list discord. I did take this ring from my fiance's jewelry box while she was asleep.

You're going to get in trouble. This was in your jewelry box? You are going to get in so much trouble for this. A piece of plastic, man. I mean, let's be polite here. Okay. Well, apparently the ring she wears. Maybeo can't find it, but that's okay. I had to do a digital painting guys and I'd like to show this to you all right now

oh there it is where's the rings man huh wait you're right there isn't any rings wait a second hold on you want to know why there's no rings man why because this painting takes place in 2025

when the rings of Saturn are disappearing yep what the hell I learned about that today I heard about this too. They're disappearing? They're disappearing for some time. It's an eclipse of some type. What the fuck? You won't be able to see the rings of Saturn for a while.

Holy shit. How sad is that? That is sad. I know. I go out every night and I see them. Here's a stupid I am. It's a part of my routine. I saw that I searched Saturn to get a reference photo.

I saw the headline and it was, it said Saturn's rings are disappearing. And I'm so stupid I was thinking that it had something to do with climate change. I also thought that. I also thought that. I was like. Like, how does that even work? How does climate change reach Saturn? But it turns out it's actually just the sun doing something odd.

Isn't it crazy how many of the planets are just cold? They're all cold. I know, man. We need a little more of that. We need a little bit more of that. Do you guys think we're going to enter a new Ice Age soon? Yeah. Do you think we'll get back all the Ice Age stuff?

Snowball Earth. You know, they're trying to bring mammoths back. Why? Joe Rogan's buddy. For meat. I know. Well, they brought back Mammoth meat as like a stunt. Yeah.

They did it as like a publicity thing. where it was like they like could they I think they had they can synthesize mammoth meat and they did it to be like like oh doesn't this make you feel interestingly about cloning is it this fascinating you know that type of thing that they it's not even it's not even uh like they're they they're you can get mammoth meat that is just like preserved and then in like a big bunch of ice and like Alaska and stuff what yeah there's like people you find people find like almost fully preserved woolly mammoths what the hell like beef jerky meat. And some guy ate one. Ew. Isn't that gross? He ate like 5,000-year-old. I would not eat mammoth. You never seen an interview with that guy?

No, no, no. He's a guy who owns, like, probably the most valuable, like, archaeological site that exists right now in terms of, like, digging up cool bones and stuff. And he doesn't, he won't let anybody go and dig on it. He just digs it up, finds mammoth dusts, and then, like, sells them for, like, $20,000. God damn. So sick. That is sick. I used to think that my number one thing

I needed in the world was for them to clone all the dinosaurs back to life. No. But the five... What the hell is... What the hell is wrong with you? You don't want a fucking dinosaur, man.

You don't want a dinosaur? I mean, it's... First of all, that was an... I used to... I know, it was so crazy that you pissed me off instantly. It also pissed me off. The fuck are you talking about it?

You want to bring back the dinosaurs? Yeah. You're a psycho. You want to bring back Hitler too? Oh yeah, let's fucking bring... Hitler's back, man. You know, they say I'm the Hitler of the dinosaurs. They say I'm the Hitler of dinosaurs.

I'm the Hitler of dinosaurs. They say you're the Hitler of dinosaurs? They say it. Who? The dinosaurs. Yeah. Obviously. The American dinosaur.

Anyway, the five weeks of planets has taught me that it's more important. It would be better is what what is? What did you say? Nothing. Oh. Okay. I was trying to make sure the joke was airtight. The joke of being Hitler of dinosaurs was airtight?

I was trying to make the acronym. Well, you didn't even use the acronym. You didn't even use the acronym H of D? What? H of D? What's that? The Hitler of dinosaurs acronym? No, no, the ADL, the American Dinosaur League.

Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, okay. I'm getting it. Like the anti-defamation league? Yeah. All right, yeah. Look at my hair, y'all. Sorry, what does the five weeks of planets tell you?

The five weeks of planets has taught me that instead of bringing all the dinosaurs back, we just should go find a planet that's identical to Earth where they're still our dinosaurs. Or it's identical to Earth. So the dinosaurs don't have to be on Earth. I got two words for you, man. And that way we can see them in their natural habitat interacting with each other. Good luck. I want to go to a planet that's identical to Earth, but maybe the radius, the diameter, rather, is a couple inches smaller.

So it's completely identical to Earth. A couple inches. But it's a little bit smaller. So you feel a little bigger. They feel a little bit bigger. Oh, interesting. And a plane flight will be shorter by a little bit smaller. by a small amount.

Very small now. By maybe even minutes. But that adds up over your lifetime. If you'd fly your entire life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

and it's completely identical to Earth, except it's got like, got restaurants called like small apple bees and small fudruckers. But it's really not that's much. I mean, you wouldn't even notice the size. Slightly smaller.

Because it's slightly smaller nature. I mean, they got to market that. But you would be like, but check this out, dude, you'd bring your, you'd be,

you'd land there, you'd go to charge your phone. The charger would not fit and you're charging for it. Oh. True. Think about, I mean, we're talking about inches, we're talking about inches smaller.

And the whole world is, that's not that much. When you get to stuff that you, in your daily life, a couple inches, that's a big amount for a small thing. You're saying the whole, like, everything would be a few inches smaller.

Wait, everything? Everything. Well, that's what I was saying they have small fud wreckers and stuff like that. Well, but that's just what they would call it. I thought it was a marketing thing.

Well, it's, so on that planet, using their measurements, I would be 5.11. What size would your member be? That's what I was thinking, too. I mean, that's kind of where I was going. Would it be bigger?

There's places that inches matter more. The penises get bigger, but the vaginas get a little smaller. Whoa. I think they get a little bigger. No, no, no, no, no. We don't need that. We really don't need that shit. Humongous.

We don't need a humongous of a JJ on another planet. Do you guys believe in string theory? I believe in G-string theory. G-string theory. G-string. yeah my theory is I like those bring those back my theory is I wanted to look like yeah I'm the G and I want that shit to look like flaws string theory is just that a guy was like I think everything is strings he was like I think

that there's a million strings there's a bunch of strings there's a million strings that are rotating around I think there's strings everywhere yeah I haven't looked into it that's pretty much what it is I would say that's the only category of four-hour YouTube video that I've not delved into that was a I was something I was like I thought I I could try to understand when I was in like third or fourth grade. Yeah. And I was like, damn, string theory.

Is that the one? Remember we were in Texas and I bought that board and I had like the, who designed that? That was I got John. He designed that board for sci-fi fantasy and it's got the QR code on it and there's a video that's like, yeah, it's got a, it's a cemetery plot that's got a QR code on it and the QR code takes it to a video that's like 10-year-old boy describes or explains string theory. That's so wet three, man. That was me explaining strength theory at 10 years old.

That video has got like 4.3 million views and it's just a kid explaining, or I think it's quantum physics. I don't really know what it is. Explaining all of quantum physics. Yeah, I think so. I already told you guys about the kid who explains God and the, who has a schizophrenic mom on Facebook. Oh, yes. Yes, yes. Yeah, I've told me about him. You did tell me that boy. Oh, my Facebook group got in trouble, y'all. What happened? There's police? No, there's a problem in my Facebook group. Oh, and also, I got some new text from Patrick.

Wait a minute. What are we doing? Hold on. I need to... We're losing the plot. It just reminded me to look at my phone. I just need to show you, here's the general... So, you know, Facebook groups have like a chat where it adds everybody in. The general chat now. This is what's going on right now. Oh, my God. I can't show this, because

this is a YouTube episode. This is HD porn videos from Rino. It's been, we've been being spam. We've been being spam. by HD porn videos and it's making nobody want to talk in the chat. Happy birthday, Cameron, might be, wait.

These are my group members wishing me happy birthday, man. You've got to violate my privacy by scrolling back in my Facebook group right now. It's okay. It's normal for people in a Facebook group

to wish the admin happy birthday. Hmm. I don't think that's... It's normal. Then why are they doing it? Andrew and Brenda and Anthony I'll wish me happy birthday. They're your closest friends now.

Nice of him. It looks like. Anthony waited to do it until July 29th. That's 25 days late. Patrick has been sending me more texts again the last couple months and the last time I read these. I think we just need to catch up a little bit. Okay. Brough, what did I eat last night?

My diarrhea smell so bad. Did we say that one? Okay, well, we didn't get to this one. I know. This weather literally makes me want to. No, we didn't. There's no way. Yes, we did.

No. You're not remembering this right. Scroll down a little more read past that one. there's probably more. And Andy Kaufman invented trolling before it was even a thing. What time did I send that? That was at midnight.

Okay. Five in the morning. An IPA is just pumpkin spice latte for basic white roots. Right? Five in the morning? And then he says... I sent that at five in the morning.

And then shortly after, Dear guitar guys at the party. Congratulations. Congratulations, douche. You can, pretheses, kind of play the first three chords to a Dave Matthews song. She'll totally be impressed by your glaring

originality. Alan was good. I sent you my salt and pepper picture and said these two having a mid-off, you didn't respond at all. What did I say? You said the next day, my pet peeve is

my pet peeve is NPCs that act like the main character. Right? And then you said, I love Kate Bush and Snoopy. And then I said What you do If I cash app

10 bands And tell you to drop picks In my IG Oh yes Boy stop And I said I'm dead ass When was that That was November 4th

Was I in Chicago then? Yes I was Imagine how good it Probably feels to have a pussy And get fucked in it Really hard and fast You said that You said that's you man

And then you said Do you like X videos Or Red Tube more And then you said Do you think Jibuki would rap on an O.J. The Alien Beatty. That's a genuine question. I think Djibuki would. They've been making raps. I listen to them. Oh, God. Are speaking of? Yeah. I think it's about time. Yeah. Hit it. No fucking cap. I want to hear this, man. Yeah.

I want to hear this shit. I'm really excited. Well, intro. What, where did you, so this is obviously a galactic space rock landed on Earth with a CD in a jewel case, perfectly sitting in it. Yeah. Another one. That's exactly what I think. I think you perfectly illustrated that. Yeah. So, uh, And I think we need to hear it. What's this one about now? And we are processing the video. That's not good.

Processing the video. Check back later. How's that even possible? Hit refresh. How is it still processing? Did I accidentally export it to be three hours long? Did I? I don't know.

Can we pause real quick so I can check this? We're back. And we're back, y'all. And we're back. the track man we back with the track hit it so fucking excited to hear this y'all wait did I say featuring B-L? What?

Featuring B-Lak Smoke rings on Saturday When I turned three I started smoking tree Got it from a guy And his name was weed He was also three Made me feel like shit Every day I wish I never smoked on it

When I turned four, I went to the store, some a lemon there, and I purchased four, then I circled back, and I purchased more, didn't feel like shit, I loved it, ate a lemon every day in my cockpit, got that clementine, and I washed it. When I eat fruit, I go dog shit. I love fruit, y'all. Wait, who's that? Ah, shit. I just woke up on fucking Saturday. Is that B-Lak, y'all? It's B-Lak, y'all.

Oh, my God. Last thing I remember, I was sipping number five. Woke up on another planet. Hell at aliens outside. Alien rides. Green girls, alien guys. On Saturday, me and OJ, splitting alien fries. Doing big things on other planets.

We smoke in fat sacks. I need big rings like the one that's in my ass crack. Spit a 16. Lick Green. Where the cash at? OJ past the roach. I'm a kill you if you ash that. the beverly tegrity just got the best of me don't usually smoke but tonight i'm puffing heavily

with a bad bitch one dollar she showed her breast to me saw her bra side that shit had like six or seven d's belax back bitch hand me the fucking fragrance pour a bunch of that shit in jello and fucking ate it then i fuck they're not what happened to him oh no what happened to him No. Because he drank the perfume. Oh, my God. Dude, he should have just smoked the tegrity forms weed that O.J. fucking gave him, bro. He was back on the fume.

He's back on the fume. Man, that shit is just too sad. Yep. A guy, a rapper dies on planet Earth. This is a story as old as time. They overdose on planet Earth. They wake up on a different planet. They start smoking tree, which is good for you.

It's herbal. And then they go back to the fucking drug that killed them in the first place. They die again on that planet. It's so fucked. It's so fucked what happens. God gave you a second chance at life and you're throwing it away to fucking drink perfume, man. You want to drink perfume? What the fuck is that?

You want to drink perfume? It's not good for you. The high isn't even that good, man. The high is terrible. No, what? Your breast smells better? You do, yeah. Like, when you drink enough of it, the most you can hope for is you start seeing the flower, man.

Exactly. Like, that's best case. That's like the nice guy version of the head. hat, man. For Benadryl. Well, it's because it's aromatic. Yeah, it's aromatic. It's a guy. He's a lilac. He's not a flower. He just smells like one. Oh, really? Oh, wow.

He's not a far. He just smells like one. He's a normal guy who smells like a flower. Oh, okay. Does perfume usually smell like a flower? No. No. What the fuck does perfume smell like? Perfew is different kind of things. The hell's esters. It's a chemical compound that they're in crossword clues. Nope. It's a woman. That's if you have an H in it. What? Who? What the hell?

Sorry guys, I'm on a different letter mode You are on a different letter mode You're boxing the letters, man David letter mode I don't like it David letter mode I saw him tell a joke earlier today What was it?

So get this guys He's interviewing Mike Drew Barrymore is stupid Well that But he's also in an interview With Michael Jordan The greatest basketball player of all time And Michael Jordan has the pair of Jordans

That he's not allowed to be play with The black and red ones and he says, David Letterman says, why aren't you allowed to play with these? And he's holding it. And Michael Jordan says, because there's no white on it.

And Letterman goes, well, there's not any in the NBA either. And then throws the shoe away. That's right. He was so mad about there being no white guys in the NBA that he threw the Michael Jordan shoe.

Does he know that there are white guys in the NBA? Luca Donzis. Brian Scalabrini. Brian Scalabrini used to be. Zazaa Pachulia. He used to be white. Yeah.

Yeah, dude. He used to be white. He used to be white. We don't know what happened. Uh-huh. Turn to a different... I mean, a joke like that I can stomach, but a factual inaccuracy is always tough on me. I mean, this was in the era of Larry Bird.

Larry Bird. The greatest basketball player of all time. Yeah. Have you ever heard the stories about Larry Bird? Yeah. Where he was like, he was like punching people in the nuts and like just saying, spitting on people and like fucking guys' wives to like be better at the... Yeah. And he looks like that.

yeah and he was just like the biggest shit talker of all time he would tell people like straight up I'm gonna kill you yeah and then he would win dude yeah that's what you need that's the power you need over your world that fucking they use pictures of Larry Bird for clickbait all the time and there is one that I saw yeah there always is ads with his face and it's like what the fuck is wrong with him well I saw one that was like Larry Bird's disgusting wife It was a photo of him like Yeah It's crazy that he

As he gets older Looks more and more like a bird It is crazy He looks like a bird Or you know your nose never stops growing Which is bad Bad nose for me man Yeah big pointy nose

Guys I feel like we I feel like we The hell's that face I feel like we glossed over that track That track was fire Sorry we talked about it made me It made me want to smoke up Did you want to spark?

It made me want to spark that shit. It made me want to it made me want to roll up a blunt fatter than a Chipotle burrito. Bro, did you not listen

to the first verse? I honestly went right over my head. I didn't understand a word. It was being said in the first verse. It was too hip hop.

It was way too hip-hop. It's like when your mom says that you can't understand a rap song. Is this Kanye West? Yeah. Yeah. It just makes a wild guess

about who it is. Yeah. It's the Sugar Hill gang. Yeah. It was amazing. I will say, dude. because obviously we collabed on that one.

It was amazing to see your process as a writer. Yeah. Spent two hours on the beat and about two minutes on the first. About two minutes. Yeah, but the beat was fire. The beat was fire, dude. I do the same thing that I do. I do the same thing that I do every single time.

I find I look up the oldest song in my library and then not the oldest, but I look up old songs in the library. I go by date. And then for some reason I keep picking Sky. Scott Walker songs, and then I just pick one part of that song, and that's it. That's all you need to do. Scott Walker, like a governor or something? Bro.

Scott Walker and the Walker brothers were like the Beatles for England, but they were American. The Beatles were English. They were the American Beatles. They were the American Beatles that went over there. That's Leonard Skinner. The Walker brothers went there while the Beatles went to the states. And the Walker brothers. Do they cross by each other on the...

They probably flew it next to... Don't cross the streams. Yeah. Probably if they were Yes No, I know I think that is That's all what happened

Yeah, yeah They crossed the streams And then we ended up With fucking Katie Perry Manage, man Or Nicki Minaj I guess The perfect combination

Of English and American That's true Why did she start Pretending to be British? She pretended to have Multiple Personality Disorder She thinks that shit She ripped that shit off

From Tyler the Creator Yeah Yeah She had What was it Roman's revenge And she had A personality

Name Roman who was the most evil rapper of all time. Oh, Slim Shady vibes. Slim Shady. And then she had a different one that was like, this is my pop persona. I wish it was more acceptable to have a Slim Shady. Yeah, what is it with hip-hop and rap

that makes everybody, their personality split? Dude, it's because you fucking get in the booth, you spaz out, man. You become a different person altogether. Yeah, Master of Disguise style. I mean, it's happened to all three of us at this point. Become another person. Become another person.

Yeah, now keep go. Let's keep going. and shouldn't do into the accent that he does. Become another person. Become another person. Become another person. It's getting like 1% too far. Getting in big trouble. Getting in a lot of trouble. Yeah. There is something about rap that just you go into that booth, man. And you become. Wait, pistachio disguising would be the best rapper of all time. He, oh my God. Didn't they have a rap at the end? Yeah, they had a song. Who's, can you look that up right now who the master, who sings the Master of Disguise at the end of that movie. Because there's a song at the end that's like,

he's the master, master of disguise. And they used to have a rap at the end of every movie that was explaining the Master of Disguise end credit song. Every movie used to have a rap. It had a rap at the end that explained the whole thing. Deep Blue C. Uh-huh. And it was always, dude, Will Smith.

Adam's family. boy in the striped pajamas M-A-S-T-E-R that's what it was by Byron We need to bring that shit back That's our new That's the next

The next album The next album The next album is ending songs For movies 824 movies Which did every movie That's coming out That month

Performed by Iraq A credit song for Yeah that's a great idea The Vitch Yeah The Hardheads M-A-S-T-R That's the name of that song

Don't hear much from the hardheads Nowadays do you Yeah I want to to know what songs the hard heads have done i think that we need to make a uh a movie that's maybe 30 seconds long and then yeah and then do a credits long a hour and a half credits yeah just because we got to get it i mean you have to be inspired if you're making music yeah yeah so we need a story first and we need to have a little bit i guess we could just make the song actually yeah

make the song and then work backwards there needs to be more storytelling songs like you did with oj last week yeah you know like then you need to have we need to do one that is like but you know what I want them to bring back, man? The 70s, the 80s, the 60s, what length were these songs? 11 minutes? Pokemon Me and Rhapsody, Freebird? These are some long-ass song.

Now it is the only people who do long songs are stinky, homeless stoner rockers. Exactly, dude. I don't want this 60-hour song. Stoner's shit. Called, like, flart. Yeah. Planet flart.

Planet flart. I'd listen to Planet Flart. I'd listen to Planet Flark. planet fart is on this way and grab it's if in the new dune movie that planet where they do all the throat singing if there were if there were guys who got shoved in lockers on that planet yeah they pop out making music right after that yeah there's a van around here that has the dope smoker yeah i see it all the time man it's fire vinyl cover on the on the window it's so sick it's so beast i think that they are part of the uh screen printing company I see that shit all the time. The dope smoker

album cover is so tight. Yeah, it is sick. I don't like that name, man. Yeah, but you'd like this album cover. It would remind you of maybe a caravan. How about a guitar player? If you're going to make a music. There's already an album called that.

From who, man? Mr. Rock and Roll. That guy doesn't fucking... The guitar player by Mr. Rock. Yeah, he plays a birthday song. I remember that. That's a good one. That needs to have been

the first ever rock and roll album. I need to be like... The guitar player. Yeah, let's look at the history of rock and roll. The first rock and roll album was called The Guitar Player by Mr. Rock and Roll. There was always a song. There was always a song like that in the, let's twist by... Well, Chubby Checker.

Then he did Let's Twist again. But then there was like rock around the clock. Yeah. Rock and roll something. Rock around the Christmas street anymore. There's no song. There's no song that's called like chill-ass beats to study to study to. Mumble rapping in the crib.

Yes. Rapping at my house. Yeah. Yeah. What's the new genre? I guess hyperpop is the new genre. Hyper popping. Hyper pop.

Zit? Hyper poping my Zit. Hyper. Oh, I thought you were saying hyper pop by Zit. I thought you were saying that my Zit was a genre of music. No, no, no. That could be though. Yeah.

Zit music. You never know. If you guys heard of this. It's just that sound. You know what is the worst song music genre I've ever heard my life that you showed me the other day? Funk. Or funk. You don't like fong?

No, man. This is bad music. It is not good, but the song that... It sounds like that clown song. The song that is good is Meet Yo Maker by Tommy Wright. No. That's a good song. It can't be good, man.

You've never heard Meet Yo Maker? How does it go? I don't think I'm going to like that shit, man. I don't think I'm going to like that shit. No, you would love that song. You would actually like that song. It's actually some kind of... It's actually DJ Paul produced it.

I like that. that Brazilian genre that I don't know the name of that everyone always posts a video on Twitter. I've never listened to it outside of just an embedded Twitter video. And it's just always, it's always these, it's always Brazilian women just shaking ass, crazy and the song is like,

what is that called? Is it called want me? It literally sounds insane. It sounds like something is breaking in the computer. And it's so funny because it's, it is all the videos are just completely women twerking. Yeah, it sounds like they accidentally shut off

something when they exported it. It sounds like they closed the program in the middle of the next. And the vocals are always really quiet. Like it's always a guy in wrapping a Portuguese and he's like, they turn the base up way too loud. I really have been getting into mariachi recently. Wow.

Mariachi is in Banda? It's in Manda. I've been poisoned against Banda because they play it loudly near my house and it stops me from sleeping. It sounds really happy. And then you read the lyrics and then they're in Spanish,

but then you translate the lyrics and they're like, who's this guy? Peso Bluma. Oh, he's awesome. He's awesome. He's good. I like that all the lyrics are all,

they're like, but then you read the lyrics and it's like, my mom died, my brother died, my entire family died, my dog died, I crashed my car, I went to jail, I fell in a canyon,

and I have... What's the name of that, dude? There's a Bonda singer. I think he was a Bonda. No. What is it called? Bonda to you guys. I don't know what it was.

Over this planet shit. This planet's shit funny. Julio, who's this guy, the cartel hands him a note while he's singing and they tell him they're going to kill him at the end of the song? Why would you give somebody? What kind of fucking note is that? Who is that? Do you know who I'm talking about? Yeah, hang on.

Who the fuck? Why the fuck would you hand him and just kill him? Yeah. You know Sanchez? He was killed. There's a video of him. They give him the note while he's singing and then, dude, he fucking, he goes off too. He performs, it's like a performance of a lifetime.

He pops off. That's him looking at a note that says he's about to be killed just now. Yep. That's why he's like crying. And then, and then. That is an awful. This is horrible. I don't want to watch this, man.

He goes off. This is going to haunt me. You don't know I would do, man. Wow, that is a beautiful voice. He is an amazing voice. They're going to kill me if he starts singing. And he's like, think he's thinking about it. If he starts saying?

Yeah. As he lived in the. fucking sing. What the fuck is going on? There's no singing in this town. What the fuck? We're going to kill you if you sing. Go to a concert.

You will die if you sing. The other guys can play their instruments, but you just can't sing. Dude, you know what I'm doing up there? I'm going, I'm humming. I'm going, hmm, hmm, mm-hmm. I'm not singing. I would start, I would start rapping.

Dude, pull out the fucking puppet. Mm-hmm. It ain't me, man. I'm not singing. It's peanut. And they killed him? Did they kill him on the spot? No,

they did it like later. Oh, yeah, he's fully dead. Why, this guy, you know, that,

I don't think that he's singing so much. Sing tomorrow, man. Yeah, go to the next town, bro. It's not that serious.

Yeah. Oh, you know what I'm going to die? Maybe his girlfriend was in the crowd. Oh, his crush or his mom or both. I mean, I just,

like threatened to be killed he also he thought about it for like seven seconds yeah I'll just fucking say I'm gonna I'm gonna kill you he's like he's like oh shit I yes well yeah

these people paid four dollars to be in this bar I have to fucking sing yeah that's crazy that the amount of time that he spent thinking about that fuck it I guess my life's not that good yeah yeah I guess I'm just a famous singer. It's actually not that good. Think about how

awesome this will look on Wikipedia. Yeah, this YouTube video better be popping off, man. Yeah, he knew about YouTube. Yeah, when they invent video essays. Yeah. Oh, God. That is an awful story. Yeah, that's horrible. But again, kind of fully his fault. Yeah. Wait, Julio,

is that the true, correct story? They said, if you sing right now, we will shoot you. He wasn't there, man. He was there. He shot him. Well, he said it. Wait, unknown assailants killed him. Shot by unidentified assailants.

So it could have been you. Just go to the Wikipedia page. Just pull up the Wikipedia page. Wait a minute. Alino Sanchez. Did you do this, Julio? I think it's possible. Now, just scroll to where he was killed.

He was attacked by Eduardo Gallagos while performing at the Plaza Las Arcos Restaurant and Nightclub. Sanchez was shot twice near his armpits, striking his lung, ensuing a gun fight. Don't shoot my bro in the last. armpit, man. No. Don't ever get shot in the armpit.

That's fucking stinky. Yeah, it's stinky, but that's where a big artery is. You're about to unleash a stink bomb. Can you please just go to the heading murder? I want to see, I want to learn about this. After the Coachella incident, he was handed a note from someone in the crowd.

The note is believed to have been a death threat, but has not been confirmed. Oh, okay. And that shows him crumpling up the note before singing the song after midnight, while that he drove away from the club after midnight. So there's a problem, man. You got to leave early.

at midnight that's when crime comes out and they gave him a fake police ID and said we're uh coppers damn yeah damn dude yep shot in the back of the head twice that's a bad way to go actually it's probably the best way to go now I think about it yeah but you know what it's probably a really bad way to go if you got handed a note that said yeah we're going to do this to you tonight I'm going to shoot you in the back of the head twice if you sing yeah I don't think that that's what the note's saying happy birthday too I don't think that's What the note said. Well, I believe it.

Guys, I believe it, too. If you want to see me sing a Donda song, or what's it called? Banda. Bonda song, come to the yard theater in Los Angeles, California on the 17th, guys. I'm going to be doing all sorts of songs. Karaoke vibes at this stand-up show, me and my buddy Gus Fiveros, come through two shows. We made it, y'all. Halfway through the five weeks of planets.

We're halfway through the third week. Two point five weeks down. Two point five weeks to go. And we got something special for Saturday. tune in, man. Go to Patreon.com. Yeah, something very exciting for Uranus, or should I say, uranus.

Uranus. Isn't it funny that the way they found out to make it not funny still sounds like urine? Yeah. You're in us? Yeah. Sounds like P.

Also sounds like somebody who makes sex with you. You're in us. Group of a bunch of scientists trying to be like, how can we get people to stop laughing at Uranus? No. You shouldn't have named it that, motherfuckerger?

Oran. Well, Named it that, you said, hey, guess what scientist? You shouldn't have named it that shit, motherfucker. You fucking idiot. Discovering and name is something up, bro. What the fuck is up, bitch?

What the fuck is up, scientist, motherfucker? All right. Bye, my friends. Bye, bye. The joy of Jupiter, a planet report. Jupiter is by far the largest planet in our solar system. That is, if you don't count planet Lizzo. One year on Jupiter is the equivalent.

of almost 12 years on Earth, or roughly the time it takes my girlfriend to get ready to go out. Jupiter is composed almost entirely of gas, much like the day after I get Taco Bell. Its core could be either liquid or solid, much like my shit the day after I get Taco Bell. Oh, damn. Holy shit. Jupiter has a very cold exterior, but gets warmer the deeper you go, like a butthole. Okay. Jupiter is named after the Roman king of the gods because, yeah, somehow gods weren't powerful enough.

We need a god that's also a king. I was waiting for the clap. There are 95 confirmed moons orbiting Jupiter. Don't let Buzz Aldrin find that out or it'll kill himself. Let's talk about. Europa, Ganymede, and Callisto. And no, those aren't the names of Angelina Jolie's children. Those are the four Galilean moons of Jupiter, more massive than the others.

They were discovered in 1610 by Galileo Galilei. Who takes his name from the famous dinner gibberish scene from Billy Madison? Europa, the Galilean moon's second closest to Jupiter, may have a water ocean underneath its surface, which means it could conceivably be home to actually. extraterrestrial life. Wow, how exciting, said nobody ever. It's often been said, and this is the conclusion, this is where I get kind of real. Okay. It's often been said that girls go to college to get more knowledge, and boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider. But with modern science,

we know the truth. It's actually girls that go to Jupiter to get more stupiter, and boys go to the planet report to get more handsome and smart. Oh!