Podcast About List - Ep. 267 - The Five Weeks Of Planets: Neptune

Episode Date: November 22, 2023

Our penultimate week of planets kicks off with a big wet planet, but is it as fascinating and full of mystery like the other ones so far? Watch the full video for this episode youtube.com/@PodcastAboutList Buy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

I'll move it down, yeah, move it down. Then you can see it in the frame. Remind you of anything, man? It reminds me of Neptune, which is today's, don't do, that's going to fuck up a cable or something. That was supposed to be our prop for the day, and now it's gone. Now the process of the day. And you've fucking dirtied it on the ground. You ruined the prop of the day.

Well, it's quite close. Well, I could crazily easily get that. You guys, we completely blew ourselves. Oh, I remember that. Tobias. No, we did a video where we were all in blue face paint. But we didn't say blue ourselves. And that's straight up from Tobias.

That is from Tobias. Yeah. We became completely blue. We should have got the fucking face paint. Dude. We still a blue facepan over there. We could do it. No, no.

I'm not doing it. No, no. No. That was a bitch to take off. No, no, no, no. But maybe this one. Okay. Hold on.

Okay. Do it again, though? Okay. And we're blue. No, we're actually. We're not. If you're listening at home, imagine us blue. Imagine we blew ourselves right now.

They're blue? No. No, no, no, no. Guys, how the fuck has the East Coast been, man? I've been gone out of this. You have been gone. You have been gone for a long. I've missed so many different aspects of the East Coast, bro.

Last night I went to guitar. centered by new bass strings, and then I saw through, I think it was the Morgan L. There was a homeless fella sitting on the bench, and I thought that he was jacking off, but I guess what he was doing was under his jacket flipping off everyone on the bus. That's sick. That's cool. Lifting the jacket up and doing like a little bird. What's wrong?

I was like, any homeless person's jacking off because of the hand motion, but he was just flipping, little birds at everyone. It was so sick. He was jacking off with the other hand. Maybe he was jacking off with the other hand. He was jacking off to being disrespectful. Yeah. Just like gets a homeless person off.

Screw you. I think it's maybe the second episode in a row we started with talking about homeless people. Yeah. We got to stop talking about it. We, it makes us leaving bad. No, it doesn't.

It's fine to say whatever you want about whoever you want. Yeah, dude. All right. You change my mind. Not all that. You changed my mind completely. The East Coast has been sleepy as fuck without you,

really, bro. I'm on, I honestly, has ground to a halt. Dude, I knew that that would happen. I've been doing a vegetable and fruit puzzle, playing some video game. You left and I got a vegetable and fruit puzzle. There's so much.

He needs to do a vegetable and fruit puzzle. So much stress in my life that I got into Zins, right? Yeah. I started chewing Zins. I eat them. I chew them. You chew them and I try to swallow all the salts. Bro, you got to drop the Zins and get on the different sins, the Zendendal's.

The Zendphandals. You have to become a con wazoo. I should. I should. Exactly. And Zend Fanddell, by the way, very fancy wine. I. bought Zins

and not even thinking about it, picked out the citrus flavor. Which reminding who you... Reminding me of a little green fella that I need to talk about immediately because there was a problem. What was the problem? So...

You reach a register I never heard before. Me and my friend, okay, it's been you know, it's been rough. It's been rough. I've been dealing with a lot of stressful stuff and I've been having to deal with this fucking

OJ, the alien guy and so I got writer's block. I have to write all the songs for him and then you've been writing the songs for him? I've been writing the songs and he's been rapping. Oh my God. He has been a puppet. Yeah. I'm a ghostwriter. Oh my God.

I'm the ghostwriter. You probably wrote Dr. Dazzle's verse too, right? No, but I right. That makes sense. That's a different thing. What about Blex? I don't know But you've been writing all of the OJ's I write Emma's writer I had no idea

So I'm getting I hit writer's block I call up my friend Rupert Rupert's a very talented musician And OJ hits me back and says No I don't need you in Rupert I have already written

The Neptune song With DJ Gleptar No Me and Rupert I mean Rupert Flew all the way here From Los Angeles to record And from us

Australia to Los Angeles. Yeah. And then we had to... From somewhere else. From his mother to the earth. They had to send him back. I'm down 3K. Jesus.

Studio time plus airplane. Where does a store get the kids from? I don't know. Planet baby. But... So he's going through space and the baby has to hold its breath? Well, that's why it's a stork with wings and not a crawling animal like a toad. You guys?

A toad will a toad would jump from... I was thinking of a horned toad, which is a lizard. We're going to get right into the song. I pictured in my head. We're going to go right into it. I'm just going to leave that alone. It's completely true, but I don't need to. We're going to get right into the OJ, the alien.

We're doing the song first. We're doing the song first. Just like Mercury, we're doing the song first. The song before the planet report? Yes. Holy shit. All right. Okay.

You guys, this song. If you insist on it. This song has ruined my life. Julio. Oh, Julio's here. I'm here. By the way. Oh, yeah, wait.

Switching. your camera. Yeah. Is it on? Say hello. It's off. It's off. Well, he's right there, guys. He's behind the there. I think you put himself into the bar in there. Ow! That's fine. I got this beat

from DJ Gleptor. Back to my room, my room, wanna sex you, sex you. Neptune, Neptune, wanna get you, get you. Back to my room, my room, wanna sex you, sex you, Neptune, you're the sexiest planet. Yeah, touch of Mercury and that bitch can't it. I love you, you're so blue. You're so blue

Venus is my B.M. But I'm in your DM. That kid is a dud. That kid dumb as fuck. The way that he's mine, he put his mouth on a truck. Venus tell your kid put his mouth on the curb. I've made child to four and every month on the third. Stop telling family court that I am a purr.

But death tune, you have my word. I can take you out. What's those babies to burn? Neptune, Neptune, I want to get you, get you, back to my room, my room, wanna sex you, sex you. Neptune, Neptune, wanna get you, get you. Back to my room, my room, wanna sex you, sex you. That shit is ridiculous Your atmosphere

And my crippleus Trying to be meticulous I'm trying to have you Are vindiculous But I'm trapped In this game I got rid of a shit Girls

Are you listening That tune I'm a bunch There's no life on Gius Because that kid ain't mine You're thinking of my shit Kiss me the cork I'm away with this The kid's not mine

I love mine I don't want to say Christmas time I think that I'm watching Emerson Prime I deleted his wishless now he's crying I love mine I smoke a ball

feel mighty fine Wow I want to get you ride you find That kid ain't mine There's no life on Venus because that kid ain't mine Death too

Wow I want to get you Get you Get you Back to my world So apparently the Venus discreet She did So apparently the Venus

This is because she's his baby mama He had sex with He has Fuck Venus We hate that shit It's kind of making me rethink my working relationship With O.J. The Alien I just because he's a bad guy

I think he's just a very deadbeat person. He's not even a person. How did he have a kid with a planet, bro? I don't even know how any of that works. But I'm always trying to have a kid with Neptune. How does he make a planet go perpendicular? It's a round shape. That's a good point.

You know, you should have learned something from the Uranus Planet report. That planet is at a right angle to the other planet. So you can consider that perpendicular. Nothing is at any kind of angle if it's round to me. It's a rotational axis. But that's all just, that's all pretend. Right. it does not like here's the thing about space man i've been thinking about this and i've been waiting

until the eighth episode to bring this up which way is up in fucking space wow damn you can't in space no one can hear you scream that's true that's crazy no one can hear you cream dude no no no i can hear me cream on earth either i've heard that privately i've loudly creamed on i don't i don't loudly cream at all if i cream in my bathroom alone and no one is around to hear it did i cream no Not unless my wife starts installing security cameras threatened to when I started creeping in the bathroom. Did you guys ever know anybody who used to jack off in the toilet? You've talked about this.

In the chat. Yeah, yeah. My friend Chad used to jack off into, like lean over the toilet and spurt into the toilet. Leaning over is so crazy. Leaning over it. He was like, like it was everybody did that. And I was like, I don't think most people do that, man. He's like milking his shit like he's got an utter.

Jubeo, did you ever jack off into the toilet? Yeah. You did? He said, yeah. Oh, well, I guess that's two guys, I know. What are the odds of the two people I've ever heard doing that are close friends of mine, though? Yeah. Do I attract these milkers?

I guess you do. You kind of have a male milkers. Just something to think about. You attract male milkers? What, how, so DJ Globetter. This is we, this is what you said, eighth episode. I guess we're in, are we in week four? Is it week four now?

I don't even know. I think we're in week four. It's week four day one. Wait, maybe it's a seventh episode. No, it's, it's, yeah, it's the, the sixth. Yeah, it's the seventh. Okay, seventh. Okay, yeah. Week four, day one, y'all. I can't believe

it feels like we've been doing this for ten weeks already. I want to do the 52 weeks of planets and I want to do it once a year. I want to do it once a year. I want to do it 52 weeks of planets. And I think that we should find planets and other solar systems. This has been the longest month of my life. And take a look at them. Well, this guy hates Thanksgiving morning. Yeah, I honestly believe that outside of the

planets, I think that the weeks, the five weeks Planets has brought misfortune upon me. Why? I can't. I can't. I just, just things in my life, I feel like.

I feel the same way. I've been sick for most of the, trouble, every week of planets. Since, I would say, since about the week before Halloween,

trouble has followed me. At first, the trouble starts, and it's before Halloween, you're thinking, man, this is just that, this is the Halloween blues.

Yeah, this is the trick. This is the Halloween. Halloween curse. Yeah, but then the treat never comes. And then you're going into the Thanksgiving month,

and you're thinking, Well, what the hell's happening? This must be the, this is the curse of the Comanches. But then that maybe is going to stick around. Right, they wouldn't curse me out. They wouldn't curse one of their own. Exactly. Good point.

Yeah. If anything, I should be cursing you guys. Yeah. Yeah, because we've disrespected your ancestors so many different times. Yeah. I don't think that's about ancestry today. I think we should keep the planets because I'm too scared to think about anything superstitious. Do you know who DJ Gletar is?

This guy's really talented. Gleptar fucking killed it. He body that shit. J. Gleptar did a very good job. I don't know who DJ Gleptar is. So to be clear here, this is the song that was made without your and your friend Rupert's involvement. Yes. This is the one that you guys were going to cook something up.

We were going to cook something. We had something amazing. I think it was actually this beat. Maybe DJ Gleptar stole it. I'm not sure. No. Oh my. DJ Gleptar say it fast.

Clepto. Oh my God. And you read it backwards. It's rat pelg. Wow. J.D. Holy shit. Rat Pelk. J.D. That could be some other guy's name too.

That could be a different guy's name. No, now we're looking at. Frab backwards is Dorp. Yeah. And... Wait, and alien backwards is Nila. Neila. OJO.

Oh shit, Jackals. Wow. We're unlocking so much different stuff from reading things backwards. It's crazy. Okay. So we did the song first, which is a bit unorthodox.

But really, I need to know what we're even going to talk about because I've been I've been in my A man I've been on the other side of the planet so I need the report I'm going to be real I need the report I need the report because I need a baseline of information so I can talk about this shit in a way that yeah that's fair enough I understand let's go ahead and do the report let's hear this report join us once again on a five-week galactic journey through our solar system

be prepared to learn and to laugh a little too and now the planet report with Cameron He's joking around. It's okay. It's a long clip. So you're supposed to make jokes in it. I got a long clip for you. Whoa.

Chill on him. Today's planet report is a story. Wow. It's a bit like a fable. Planet story. So this is the story of Neptune. A Planet Report by Cameron Fedder. Once upon a time,

30 astronomical units away from the sun. There was a blue and icy planet named Neptune. One orbit, Neptune woke up and felt depressed. What makes me special? asked Neptune. I feel so average. Don't worry, Neptune, said the sun. You're very special. For example, you're an ice giant.

Your distance from me means that you're dark and cold, covered by frozen, icy materials. Big whoop, replied Neptune. That doesn't make me unique. Uranus is an ice giant as well. Well, maybe your surface doesn't matter. It's what you're like on the inside that counts. You have a rocky core, the sun said.

Yeah, right. So does Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Uranus, and probably Jupiter and Saturn, too. I knew I wasn't special. Oh, I know what makes you special. You have an oval-shaped storm in your southern hemisphere called the Great Dark Spot. Jupiter much? Hmm. The sun rubbed its chin with its hand.

Let's see. Your day is 16 hours long, but your year is 165 Earth years. You have 14 moons. You were discovered in 1846. You have rings. Is any of this helping? No, it's not, yelled Neptune violently. In fact,

You're just making me feel worse. I think I'm going to kill myself. No. And Neptune opened its desk drawer with its hand, where it kept its revolver and used its hand to put the gun to its atmosphere. No. I'm done doing this with you, screamed the sun in anguish. It seems like every rotation you threaten to kill yourself.

You think you have it bad? Look at Pluto. The poor guy isn't even a planet anymore. Even my suffering isn't unique, sighed Neptune. I think I can. get it now. I was so concerned with being special, but what's actually special is that I'm

so similar to everyone else in my solar system. It's about togetherness and family. That's right, said the sun. I'm glad you came around coming around the sun. Yeah. I'm coming around me, I mean, the me. The me. Let's eat.

And the planets all started in on their Thanksgiving dinner. Moral. The moral of the story. Okay. There is nothing interesting about Neptune. There are no good facts. Nothing good. You couldn't find anything.

It's the eighth planet. They covered everything. Yeah. Everything's been done. There's a blue. There's a blue one. There's a nice one. There's a spot.

There's nothing, man. God, fucking damn it, man. The whole episode is supposed to be about this fucking shit planet and it sucks ass. God, there's the Neptunes. There wouldn't be the production duo. without the name.

Neptune has a cool symbol, actually. And we wouldn't get the song Happy by Farrell if it weren't for the Neptunes. Why are they called the Neptunes? I don't, maybe because there's nothing unique about them. No. They're like water-based.

The two guys are water-based? I don't know. Everyone's water-based. Yeah, I guess we're all water-based. Even the biggest stretch in the world. Oh, oh, because they were so cold. But there's a cold in a company called ice cream. Ice giant.

Ice giant. And they were ice giants. They were so cold. They might be giant. My blue shirt says giant on it. Walk us through the fit. It's a blue shirt that says giant on it. And a blue hat that says Mexico for my Mexican friend.

And Mexico's on a planet. Yeah. Okay. My landlord came into the apartment. I was talking to him and I said, oh, my friend is here. He's visiting from Mexico. My little. Mexico.

I said, yeah, Mexico. And I said, yeah, Mexico. And he said, like, he's Mexican? And I was like, yeah. He's like, Mexican? I said, yeah. He went, oh. Wow.

Wow, not too sharp, this landlord guy. No, no, no. How did you feel about that, Julio? Let me feel special. Yeah. Julio, how is your, you got in this morning at what time was it? I thought I was going to land at 6 a.m., but I landed at 5, which was really fucked up because I was Ubering to cams.

Yeah. And I had to call him 20 times before his phone rang once. It didn't ring. But it was okay because my alarm was set and I woke up at the right time. Yeah. He woke up in Coach Stein. It's a really funny screenshot now that I can post with a really funny caption. When he calls from...

20 missed calls from Julio and caption it's something like when you say you're 15 years old or something like that. That would be... You really... You're really... That's not funny. That was easy money. You're destroyed. But apparently he got stopped by Border Patrol because they didn't like his drip.

They don't fuck with me. They don't fuck with you or not? They... Because you look like that. Because I look like a bouse. No, it's not. They did not say, I'm sorry, I have to go to another room.

They said, you look like a bouse. Come over here. This guy came off the plane like a bouse and we detained him for 20 minutes. That's what they said. They did not say that shit,

man. They took me into a room and the next 20 people that got sent into the room were all from China or Hong Kong. So those are bouchos. Oh, they did think he was Chino. And so they sent you to the Chino room.

Yeah, they said, you're too much of a boughs. Come here. No, they didn't say anything about you being a bous, man. They did not say, what do you, are you here for work? What do you do here for work? I'm a bouse.

I'm a bouse. I'm nothing. I'm actually an employee. You went to the VIP of customs. The VIP of customs, that's crazy. Yep. I can't wait to go to another country and get locked up forever. Yeah.

They've troubled me before. Do you guys think that you would enjoy getting extradited? I don't know. Or from somewhere to here, I guess. Like, where am I? Where am I? I just think it would be fun to be sent somewhere. Do they put you on a normal plane? Do they do that in real life or only in Batman?

They do that in real life, man. But do you go first class? Yeah, they did Britney Griner. They did Britney Griner like that. Do they put you in a prison shackle? And then they put you on your own plane. They put a balloon on you. And then they fly into the bat plane.

Yeah. No, that's a different. That's a movie, man. Bain does it. This is never happened in real life. It didn't happen in the second one. Huh. Wait, what?

That's the only... That's what I learned They attached the balloon and they sent him on a balloon. You don't remember that? I do remember that. They extradite the Chinese guy? No.

They send him on... They say China won't extradite him. One of their own. So Batman does it. So Batman comes and he balloons him. Yeah, he sends him on a balloon all the way to America. Please no, bro.

We need him. I've seen that movie. I've seen the dark night of a couple times now. I zone out when that scene is on. It's a crazy. See, I still don't understand what it has to do with the plot of the movie. No, I could not tell you how it relates to anything. Is it about how...

Is it about how... Is it to motivate the Joker? Show me more Joker. It has something to do with Wayne Industries, maybe? Show me Mo Joker. Yeah. I don't care about... I want to see Heath Ledger.

Bring him back. The Bruce Wayne parts of any Batman movie do not interest me, except for the new one where it's the only interesting part of the movie. Yeah. But in the first three... What do you mean? There's a fucking car chase. I don't give a fuck about that.

The car chase was kind of okay. The Ritla was dope. The parts of the new one when he's walking around and just looks fucking bummed out. And Charlie's Angels, he's got that Charlie's Angel swag and he's walking around in his suit

just like... Charlie's Angels, what do you mean? Remember what's the guy with the hair from Charlie's Angel? Oh, oh, oh. Sam Rockwell guy? No, the fucking Christopher, not Christopher.

The guy was weird. Bosley? No, the guy. who's weird. Oh, creepy thin man. From, he's in... Yes, he's Crisping Glover. Crispin Glover, yeah. When he's Crispin Glover and he's walking around and he's got his hair down, he's like,

this shit, it sucks. I have to fight the fuck. There's no better part of any movie when a guy is acting emo. That's always the best part of every movie. We need every movie to be like this now. Manchers are by the sea? I've never seen that, but I've never ever seen that movie, but it does sound sad to me. I've seen the clip where he tries to kill himself. I've only seen the clip where he tries to kill himself.

I don't know if that's what it's about. What's the sadest, movie you've ever fucking seen. That's like, oh. Wait, dude, Neptune is the blue. Yeah. The blue is the coldest planet.

What makes you feel? We need to talk about being blue. We're both having a rough month. I have sickness. He's into nicotine these days. Yeah. And you have a Mexican in your house. I have unrevealed struggles.

You have unrevealed struggles that can't even, that people wouldn't even believe if you said what they were. Yeah. Violence within me. So what's the bluest movie you've ever seen? Come and see.

I saw Come and see. at my parents' house two years ago. Two years ago and I shut it off at the end and then that was when I was sober and then I saw that

and I got so sad that I drank a bud light out of the fridge and ended sprydy. That can't be fucking true. Come and see drove you to drink. I was also bored. You got drove to drink by a movie?

I got the whack-as by a board. That's the whack is possible. And it was probably some other crap going on in my life at that time as well. driven to drink by a movie. It should be like

the Bazlerman Great Gatsby or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Project X. Well, yeah, it's an emerging thing. It's going to make the movie 4B.

There's something really funny, though, about the Bazelerman, great Gatsby and just hear you all the music. Oh, shit. There's popping bottles on your cap. A little party never heard no body. Now, there's other crap. You can't watch train spotting and be like,

oh, crap, dude. I need a white cloth. that's not a sad movie though train spotting at the end he chooses his life isn't that one of the saddest things of all the lives? Yeah that is the saddest thing that he had to choose it true real shit

for me I watched I forget the name of it but it was a Japanese movie a Takeshi Katana movie about a deaf guy who learns to surf and it was a really sad ending and it was so sad that it made me angry where I got so sad that I was mad at the movie for ending that way that happens a lot to me in movies I don't think movies should have poor endings they should all be

Smiley. Poor endings. Yeah. Oh, this movie made me feel poor. Poorly bad. Poorly, yeah. I think that every movie should be, I can't think of a really sad movie. That one, too.

It was such a nice and loving movie. Japan, bro. It was a Japanese beach movie. Surf style. About surfing, about overcoming a disability to surf. How wonderful is that? Which, by the way, in terms of disabilities and surfing, I mean, there's people who surf with fucking no legs.

There's people who got eaten by a shark. While you watch the movie, you're going to be. surprised by what happens he gets eaten by a shark no that'd be a funny to say sadly yeah the the you could surf if you were just ahead was that movie soul surfer the girl loses her arm that's a real story though that's a true story yeah yeah it's not it's not just real it's true wow and a lady lost her arm to a shark to a shark and she was like fuck it I'm going back out there I got to go back in the water what are you stupid she is stupid bitch

are you crazy are you stupid you should be getting workman's comp from the ocean Sitting at home all day. Stupid ass. Getting paid in sand dollars. Well, but maybe she's looking for the shark. Oh, I just realized maybe. Maybe it's that. Oh, wait.

Well, yeah. Oh, wait. If I go back out and keep surfing, I'll get so much fucking attention. Yeah. Maybe it's actually, I just realized, maybe it's surfing was her passion. That's what made her happy.

No. Can't be that shit. Not fucking with that. Surfing can't be a passion, dude. Surfing is a way to pass the time. Surfing is below heroin. Passion in a time. Yeah, passing a little bit.

That's how a surfer talk. That's how all surfers talk. They add S-H to every single word. You guys didn't have many surfers up there in the Northeast. No, no, no, no, no. I mean, definitely not like a strong surf culture, but Cape Cod, I definitely saw surfers around. These are come to some of the smelliest people of all time.

Mm-hmm. They smell like salt. They smell like salt. Salt water. Yeah. They're all, they're tan. They won't wear flip. They won't wear shoes.

They wear those ugly dune suits. Wet suits. Yeah. Wet suits. Has everyone worn a wet suit? No. How come you wear a wetsuit to keep dry? It doesn't keep you dry at all.

It keeps you warm. Keeps you dry. Why are you doing like just 4 a.m. Rodney Dangerfield waking up. Kind of still half asleep. Oh, do you wear a witsuit to keep dry. I get no wet. I get no wetsuits. I don't know what's going.

What? I get no wet suit. I'm just going to go. I'm going to go home. Who is going to get? I'm just going to go home. I get no wet was okay for a set. I get no wetness.

That was kind of in line. A woman just walked by with Mickey Mouse ears. Oh, my God. Mickey. Santa went to Disney. The Santa that I like went to Disney. He got interviewed on the spinning teacups. They asked him, what's your favorite Disney can character?

We never talked about the Santa. I know. I'm going to be doing an expose on Santa. But just this is a preview maybe. I mean the Santa that you like I'm so out of the Don't worry about it man The Santa that you like what the fuck's happening

There's a Santa Cameron likes What is that There's only one Santa man No there's a saving Santa Oh wait wait sorry Do you mean a Santa's helper that you like? No no no this is a Santa's But he's on the teacups getting interviewed

And the guy says what's your favorite Disney character and Santa goes like this Oh Mickey Moe Cop out Dumbass What the fuck are you talking about Santa.

Biggest cop out in the world. Say a winter character. Yeah. Olaf. Olaf. Say Scrooge McDuck at the end of the movie. Yeah. Jesus Christ.

Mickey Mouse. Oh shit. A four-year-old kid wouldn't say Mickey Mouse. No. I saw a Grinch. You were a Grinch? I were a Grinch and then I saw one. I went to a street fair while I was in L.A.

Yeah. I'll show you a video. You haven't even talked about your L.A. trip at all. Yeah. You could be talking about that. I went through an entire bottle of Dayquil in like four days. But I did see a. Grinch and I videoed

him and he was actually good at it? He was pretty good at it. You can hear him. That's not Jim Carrey. Who said that's Jim Carrey? I'm going to fucking kill you, man.

It's that, oh shit. It is getting to be that time of year when Grinches are just going to be around. of shit always weirds me out. He had the full makeup and everything and a pot belly. In Boston, I was home for Christmas a couple years ago. I saw a Grinch just by the side of the road, not even hanging out in like a mall or anything. He was just standing, he was on an overpass, just sitting on the sidewall.

I think I took a video of it. I don't know, I probably can't find it right now. He was just sitting on the overpass, and he wasn't even doing anything. He was full grinched out. And I was rolling down the window and pointing at him. He was kind of just going, ah! Here's what's wrong with America and children and society as well. Yeah.

I go to this fucking Winter Wonderland Parade, right? Is that the Elrod Hubbard one? No, it was in New Hall, California. My brother's opening a pool hall up there, and I went. New Hall, that's a good spot for a pool hall, a new pool hall. Wow. Go check it out, the break room. There was, so it's like 10,000 people in this, like, little downtown area, and

the Grinch is doing a meet and greet winter wonderland. Welcome to Whoville. And there were slutty who's there. I'll say it. There were slutty who's, and then as I get closer, dude, sponsored by a church. So I'm like, what the hell is going on with these sluts? I didn't know they were allowed in church. But the line for the Grinch,

around the block, literally 200 kids and their entire families, around the block, right? I walk a little bit further. Santa Claus, 10 people in line. 10 people in line. What's wrong with this fucking country? What is wrong with this country? The Grinch can pull more people.

And that's, you know, that's why maybe my shows didn't sell that well. because I'm a bit of a Santa Claus Right And your shows didn't sell well I mean I thought that I would get Maybe I thought I was gonna have to add Dozens of shows after

You thought maybe they were gonna You know we sold out one and a half But I thought that I was gonna have to like You know you do two shows Yeah I flipped a bottle That's not cool Well you would have been If you wanted me to really flip a bottle

Let's get this shit started But if I thought that I was gonna do two shows And then I was gonna be one of those people Where I have to add shows Every 30 minutes basically Yeah, six shows, because the demand was so high, but it didn't happen. Because I'm guessing there was who's the, I'm obviously the Santa Claus of stand-up comedy. The Grinch.

But who's the Grinch? It was Pierce. Because he had a separate show that night. It's completely Pierce. That is actually true. He stands like him. Yeah. I'll say, he stands exactly like him.

Pierce is a Grinch. You know, what you're saying about adding shows is when I, my strategy is when I do my stand-up tours, I usually just kind of book eight shows right in advance. Yeah. I do four, two nights, four shows each, and I usually get, you know, like five to seven people each show. That's what, that's exactly what happens when I go on the road with Adam to a secondary city. We go to Pittsburgh, and they book an 800-seat venue, and we sell about 80 tickets a show. Then we do 10 shows.

It's really awesome. That's what it's all about. That's what it's all about. That's what road-dog and is all about. Yeah, we did Pittsburgh, and it was like, maybe it did six shows, and it was like this, giant venue and then we didn't sell that many tickets and then the the we saw that Matt rife was the next weekend so he did 12 shows all sold out I was like dude we what are we we're fucking something up really badly yeah yeah that guy's because you went into a big venue I just

saw the thing somebody reposted a thing from a long time ago where he tried to fight brandon oh yeah I forgot I didn't know that history like yeah no I know if somebody wants if somebody wants like some promotion wants to put this on I will put up a thousand dollars for that price for Brandon we'll do it now we'll do it now whoever loses I win

that would be an amazing amazing thing Brandon if you're listening you gotta you gotta do it you gotta do it you have to do it Matt Reff just slid on the disabled community he did you didn't see this his insta bro

what do you say hit his insta right now what happened what do he say what is what are you doing taking your clothes off I'm ready to ride

for my disabled brothers you're ready to ride your disabled brother I'm ready to ride is how you take a close off let's get this shit dude I will slide on

I will slide on anybody who fucks with disabled people I love disabled people more than I even love the abled which is quite a lot what did he say he said if anyone's ever been offended by one of my jokes

click here for I don't, just click here to solve the problem. Click here, click here, I don't know, click here for some reason. A whole in one, a perfect joke. And it was a link to. It was a link to special needs helmets. Matt Rife, you stupid fucking piece of shit. It's also just like, you're going to wish you were never born, man.

And you know what? You know, no disrespect to Brandon, but he looks like a baby, 11-year-old child. So as soon as Matt Rife sees me, talking shit he's not going to ask me to fight him at a skate park no he's going to run the other way he doesn't want me this was a couple years ago too and and he's still been brandon was younger yeah exactly brandon was younger and he looked like the guy back in the day i think matt was younger than brandon i think i don't know let me either way matt rife that rife's wikipedia real quick it's why it's beyond on site for you you want to see a white boy really wilding out

on galaxy say we're in the same galaxy you're going down yeah And another thing, man. Straight up, I'm going to kill your ass. Listen, I know you thought you were, you thought you were getting one over making fun of the disabled community. You thought, oh, no one will notice if I do this. Guess what, buddy. You fucked with another community at the same time that you didn't even realize that is going to come down with you, come down on you with the fury of one million angry guys. Which community is that?

Community of conscientious bike riders. That's right. We wear helmets as well. That's right. And the safety community. from special needs websites. Because they fit better because I have a bit of a odd shaped head.

They're well-crafted. It's the craft. My head is shaped like many disabled people's head, so it fits better into the thing. It's designed to be fit on your head. Exactly. Straight up. And also, man.

And babies, too. And babies. And babies. You fuck with babies? You fuck with me. Yeah, you can fuck with the disabled and different races all you want. But the second you go for babies,

Those are our future. That's our future, man. Don't fuck with the babies, bro. They need to grow up and change the world. And Matt. And you are inhibiting that. You're trying to make them commit suicide before they've even learned to talk, man.

Matt Rife. Have you ever come for the safety community again? Have you ever come to the safety and protective gear community? Yep. You're going to get a reflective vest to the fucking dome. That's right, buddy. I'm going to put you in a reverse life jacket.

You're walking on the side. You're wearing a fucking helmet. Walking on the side. like, oh, to-to-to-to-to-do, gonna go ahead and cross the street. Oh, what's this? Who just put a blindfold on my head before I cross the street? That's right. Oh, helmets.

Safety warriors, that's too. Helmets are stupid. Helmets are gay. Yeah, not so funny when I fucking hit you with my slingshot going top speed, 25 miles an hour. Bang. Yeah, Polaris slingshot. And you're dead, dude.

Not a, not a, not a, not a little kid. Honestly, this could be, this could be a big. I knew he's talking about Polaris slingshot. This could be a, yeah, I don't even, I don't even, that is so ubiquitous to me. The Polaris is so you. so ubiquitous. I forgot that a slingshot was even used to defeat Goliath. I think any time I read that passage, which is

every other day, which again, me versus Matt Rife, a bit of a David versus Goliath kind of thing. That's right, Matt Rife. You versus me, it's David versus Goliath. I'm Goliath, a big strong guy, and I'm going to pound your ass and put around. I haven't quite finished the story, but I know the title. I'm about to go Goliath. I see the word

slingshot in the story and I go to the car rental place I run one and drive around for a couple hours. I'm mad. I'm here to kill a white guy. But you don't know that you have fucked with a disabled guy, a guy with an undiagnosed autoimmune disorder. So, Hashimoto's could be. And a guy with purple

eyebags. Yeah. And make him ugly to some. And a guy who is in a couple of special needs classes growing up. Oh, wait, me too. Yeah, wait, you two. Yep. I had an IEP. You fucked with the motherfucker with an incursion plan. Hey, did it hurt when they put it in? IEP. Matt, right? You just

fucked with a motherfucker with an IEP. okay straight up improvised explosive Patrick and I'm coming at you I'm coming at you with a bomb vest I'm gonna blow your ass up we need to do terrorist

we need to do a we need to do a mass of a mass of strike what the hell are we talking about what are we talking about right now this Neptune is making us so blue that we just threatened a guy we got ice cold

we got ice cold and threatened a guy he's gonna be like 30 minutes he's gonna be blue when they take him out of the closet at the DC improv where I fucking hit his body. He's never coming out of the closet. You're right. No.

He's in there for life. Dude, Matt, Rife, you just got cooked in 40 different ways, bro. You got cooked? Yeah, because you what, turkey? Yeah, oh, 41. And that's the last time you ever fuck with disabled people on our watch, dude. Straight up.

Sorry to say. This Thanksgiving, I'm not thankful for you. Wow. Oh, shh. I'm 42. Let's see if we can go for 48. And that's you, Matt Rife. And also, bro.

You're a fucking burp. take those skinny jeans off, man that don't need to see those take those skinny jeans out and show me where you're working with and show me a dick man tell me that butthole bro show me you bend over

show me your butt and balls you may look like handsome Squidward but you act a whole lot more like normal Squidward and you blue like him and Neptune being in LA Neptune's in SpongeBob too

King Neptune oh yeah oh we didn't even talk about that the god of water the god of water aspect of the whole thing. I just got a petrified piece of beef off the ground. That's not beef. What is it?

That's cake. That's a poop. Oh, cake. Yeah, we didn't clean the table. What the tablecloth is for. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. We just bundle the whole thing out. But yeah, Neptune, dude, this is really the only thing Neptune has going for it. Yeah. A guy was named after him that was a bit cooler. And had...

Julio told me this morning. I don't know how we knew this. We were eating breakfast and he said to me while I was talking, I was like, oh, I got to run my planter report. said this to me he said did you know you need special software to view that i don't even know what that means what could that mean what is that it mean ulio those i uh i did my research and what kind of software you're going to say i don't know it's special software what so think about other planets right you can see them like normally you can't with neptune oh it's too far away you need a special software to look at it well

how'd they know it was there until before software windows invented it Windows invented Neptune Yep So this is like That's true You guys remember Like last year Samsung came up

With that phone That you look at the You look at the moon And it just put a picture of the moon On top of the moon Yes the AI Yeah yeah That was fucked up

So funny They are selling It's hilarious With your mom and dad too Speaking of it does do that I think they literally have it for faces too That's a that is a really good thing

So sick Speaking of Samsung This weekend And so the skate shop that I go to. The skate shop that I go to just did at some event with Samsung Galaxy Flip for some reason. I don't know why. What do you mean for some reason? For money.

Yeah, Flip. There is actually a good point right there. Dickhead. What the flip? Because they love cursing, skaters. I met, I didn't meet him at this event. I saw him on the street and then shook his hand. I fanned out fucking crazy.

About who, man? Let me guess. Brian Anderson. Brian Anderson. Who's that an author? He had one of the best video parts of all time. Dude, I had the same experience with Louis Anderson. Yeah.

Fan the fuck out. But I fanned out super hard, shook his hand in the street, and then looked over and realized Samsung had a filmer there, they were filming something with him. So you're in the video? There's probably B-roll of me saying, you're my favorite skater. Nice, dude. That's embarrassing as fuck. If they fucking use that, it's so embarrassing.

There's a guy who's, there's a guy who's on my street that does like TikTok live streams or something where he fucking plays a guitar and I walk by behind him all the time and I know for a fact. Right now I checked, he gets about two viewers, but one of these days he's going to pop in a massive way. Yeah. And I'm going to be, I'm going to be in all these fucking videos looking at him. You're going to be, you're going to get secondary fame. You're going to be known as that guy. He's going to be so famous. I'm going to be slovenly hoodie man in the background and people are going to hunt for me.

Yeah, exactly. Are you Slavic? No, you weren't Slavic. I don't know which one Slavic is. It's, um, Korean. Croatia. No, it's not Korean. No. The other day, he said Korean chungis.

That's not true. We watched a video called Korean Korn Dog and he highlighted the name of the video and said, oh, Korean chungis. That's what, how you read it was Korean. I said Korean, and then I said, why did you say Korean chungis? It said that on the screen. I didn't say that. On my screen, it said that. It didn't say, I don't think it's Korean chungis.

It's much. I've never had one. It's much. put sugar on it. Sugar and cheese is involved. And potato, sweet potato.

Yeah. Don't say it like that. No, you're all like $9 for one cornmeal. Huh? It's absurd, man. And people in Korea eat this breakfast lunch and dinner.

Every single meal they eat one of these. I explained to my cousin, or not my cousin, my friend, that I think, I didn't even realize so I talked to him,

but I eat almost at a completely Korean diet. yeah everything i eat is korean food at home i eat bulgogi kimchi i eat kimchi i eat kimchi every day bulgogi kimchi kimchi go to gharu go to jong jang egg i eat egg eat all this ancient food i don't really do people like egg scams egg is common in asia but they do it a different way barbecue because you know in asia did you know that in asia chill chill over there you calm down If you say two more, we have to legally pay you more. Yeah.

Did you know that in Asia, the chickens are so amazing that you can eat them raw and you can eat the eggs raw as well. Really? And no, and it's very common. Chicken sashimi? Due to their. They literally do chicken sashimi. Yeah. Doesn't seem like it would be that good.

Because of the way they treat them. Do they not have factory farms? They're kinder. They're kinder. They bless the chicken before they kill it. Do they even kill the chicken before they eat it? They don't kill it, man. You can eat it.

You just eat the chicken. That's interesting. It's fascinating. They have to take every set of them. I've seen videos where they flattened chickens. Yeah. Spatchcock. I saw a thing the other day that was called Toad-style turkey.

With a two, with a wire, two-wired squares, and they go like this. And then it spins with a machine. Oh, no. Spatch-cocking is where you break its back.

Yeah. And it's like elbows. You push it down like a burger. Open it up? Kind of. Like it's... I'm thinking about, because I'm making a turkey this,

this year. And it's toad-s- Is there going to be ham? Toad style is when you cut the... Is there going to be ham? I've just gotten nervous because Julio said there wasn't going to be ham. I don't know.

Don't ask him about things. I didn't ask him. I said, I'm so excited for ham. And he went, I don't know if there's going to be ham. And I was like, what are you talking about? Why don't you said something to him about they're not being ham? I got worried. You know, I've been on a ham break.

You know that if I said that. I forgot about the ham break. And he knows it too. He just said it to make me upset. If I had told him that there was not going to be ham, you know for a fact. because I knew you were so excited about it that I would have told him

don't tell cameras. Yeah. So there's no, there's no way that you would have found out. But there wouldn't have found out day of. I'm going to go get the ham tomorrow. He would have called you, he would have called you tomorrow or something

or the day, morning of and just like, just so you know. Like you're about to get a call from like your girlfriend breaking up with you. Right. Yeah. Like we need to,

can I call you in a second? I don't call you that often. Can we talk when you get home? You knew, any call for me would have freaked you out, I think, about the ham situation. But no, dude, I have an amazing thing.

Thank God. The problem is, I was going to do an entire Korean. I'm not kidding. I was like, I'm going to do like a themed Thanksgiving dinner this year. But that was just because I thought girls were coming. No, girls. It's only guys. It's a guy's only Thanksgiving.

Boys giving. Yeah, dude, it was going to be my, at least my wife and her sister were going to come. But then they've realized that all the girls went out of town. And now it's just going to be guys. They're just going to go hang out by themselves. So I'm not going to make my bowl-gis sliders. Boys-guying. Boys-guying. Boys-guying. Boys-guying. Boys-guying. Boys-guying. We're going to have a boys-guying.

It's going to be last-giving, dude. Yeah. We're going to get pints. It's going to start probably pretty late. Yeah. Because the guy... I was going to make a lasagna. Well, I should probably start early.

Because I feel like you can't have lasagna as a side on Thanksgiving. We're going to start at early. There's no girls getting ready. We're going to start at 11 a.m. Yeah. That's kind of what Thanksgiving should start, I think. I've always started. like one, I feel like, two over one.

I like a Thanksgiving where you get there, you get one of those disgusting cheese balls that's covered in nuts. Yep. And then you have about two to three hours of that and talking, and then food. Cousin walk first. Do the cousin walk, which...

We're going to do a crazy cousin walk this year. We're going to leave the turkey in the oven in Caleb's apartment and just go on a cousin walk for three hours. You're going to do a buddy's walk? No, while I cook. We're going to pretend to be cousins. If a bunch of guys, guys are at Thanksgiving together. They're cousins. They can be cousins for a day.

Well, whoever's making the turkey is the unk. So I'm unk. Dude, I don't want to be unk. You're an unc, bro. But it will at least be unk where you guys record me doing something and you're like, oh my God. Unk at a pocket. I'm twerking on this oven. Yeah, something like that.

Just a video of him just pointing a knife at you. I don't want to be unk. I want to be a cousin bro then you shouldn't have had the shouldn't have hosted my life sucks shit yeah dude everywhere i go i'm an unc we just think about you're so every single thought you're not it's not even thanksgiving man you're unc i know i'm always the guy who's in charge of direction is driving it's everything has turned us blue today he got blue graduated from blue he's just moved on to grayness that's because we get this guys wow even though neptune is a very cold planet

I got hot wearing my hoodie so I had to take it off and I think the Matt Rife thing was a... I think you look hotter with it off shit don't say that to your uncle yeah don't say that to unc

it's fucking weird I don't got me feeling some type of way this year we need to import some uncles and aunts for for Thanksgiving on Thursday

oh my god we could go on Craigslist wait we should get Alan Phil yeah Phil and Alan I don't think Phil would want to come back but Alan maybe

yeah that's true Oh, okay, yeah, true. We could do the Thanksgiving focus group. That would work. They watch us. We film ourselves eating Thanksgiving. Do you want to make $50 on Thanksgiving Day? We'll pay you $10 to sit for five hours and watch us eat.

Do you guys want to watch? No, you can't have a plate. You're watching us talk about green meat casserole. Oh, I have an amazing green bean cassero recipe. Oh, yeah. With fresh green beans, guys. Can you do a tease? Can you do a trailer right now?

Can we do have a trailer of the menu? Okay, guys. Menu trailer? Well, it depends on if I decide to make my bulgogi sliders. But basically, turkey, that's a lock, some kind of sage butter that I'm going to put underneath the skin, crisp it up. That's going to be deliciously juicy. Do it like a trailer. This Thanksgiving.

Yeah. Wow. Sage butter turkey. possibly I take out the spine and turn it into a big log of meat. Spiral baked ham that I'd buy pre-baked and I put on glaze and camera things that I made the whole thing. I don't think you make that. He thinks I make it. Hawaiian rolls.

Let's see ham at the store. Pockages of Hawaiian rolls. Green bean casserole, fresh green beans, and I might even fry my own onions. Chipotle mac and cheese, third year running. First year, really good. Second year, not that good. Third year, I'm going to add mustard powder. Wow.

And some kind of drink. Maybe a hard Arnold bomber. Okay. Which I had Noah or John Daly. That's what we call that. Yeah. That's a good one. Yeah.

Okay. No, I don't think Noah's even coming. Oh, Noah's working. Damn. That's fucked. But so what are you guys bringing? That means I can bring white claws. Yeah.

Which counts as a thing to bring up. Because I was going to, I was thinking that was basically my only option. And then when I realized Noah was going to be. there probably making mixed drinks. I was like, well, that's... This is why our Thanksgiving works, because I cook all the food and everyone else brings drinks. That brings some food. I bring food. Last year he brought about this many vegetables. I think I brought way more than that, but I did bring cranberry sauce, I remember. Which is a crazy move. Why is that crazy? Because we didn't even have a turkey.

Cranberry sauce is at Thanksgiving. That's when you eat it. I brought some mashed potatoes that were irrelevant. Yeah, see, I might even make the mashed potatoes this year. I mean, I'm not going to, yeah. Because I want people to eat them. Well, this year, I'm going to bring, I don't remember bringing a few vegetables. You brought, you laid a, you got a sheet pan and you laid one, one layer of vegetables. I have. And everybody had like four veggies.

I have a bigger sheet pan this year. You're going to have to. And tomorrow, I'm going out, I'm buying stuff and I'm going to do all the prep work. Whatever you're, thinking about how many people are coming. I think the head count is nine or eight, eight or nine. But realize that these are all. guys, hungry fucking guys. Two helpings. Two helpings

at least, two plates at least. I know what I'm doing. And Noah isn't coming there, so you can't. Yeah, there's not going to be one guy who only serves himself one crumb. Yeah, exactly. So don't save a crumb of everything. Wait, he's not coming. I know. Here's what I'm thinking. Don't tell him. He's working. I'm thinking we literally assassinate

him at work, show up with a plate. Show up with a plate covered in tin foil. And go like, dude, since you couldn't come. Since he couldn't come, bro We could leave it in his bedroom Since he couldn't come We made your ass a plate

We could all hide in his bedroom And then we take a video of him Opening it He's so excited That his friends did that for him Yeah And then he opens it and it's one We can't fake him

We do a half of a green bean With all the beans inside Taking out Oh yeah That's a good idea And maybe a strand of beef Yeah Like you know how slow cooked beef

It turns into the strand One little hair-sized strand of beef Yeah that's a good idea And we take a bite out of all of it too We bite all the food. I think that's a good idea. Do you guys want to see my painting? Yes, I do.

Let's do the painting. Guys, when I was in Los Angeles, I did a full tour of every single modern art museum. Uh-huh. I did the Lackma. What's that? Lackma balls? No. It's actually the Los Angeles County Museum of Art.

Hey, you're suffering from Lackma. Yeah, Lack of Ma balls in your mouth. That would be Lack of Ma? Cameron, chill on him. That would be actually Lack of Ma. of my not like you want to lack of my nuts no that would be the lick you want a lack of my nuts chill bro

chill the fuck out stop chill the fuck what are you doing he's going he's a jock I'll just rip my painting up you're right you're right he is say another museum you want to oh you know what you don't even want to hear about it whatever

he's been on it he's been on a jop kick today the triumphant return of that song I've been waiting all the episode I realized it's been a long He's been a jock all day. He needed to play a sports song. He's been a jock to Julio. But here's what I'd like to say.

You ruined your own painting. So before I tell you what just happened, because I know that you're too stupid to understand, how did me ripping my painting make you feel? Blue. Scared. Blue. Oh, blue.

That was the art piece. Because here's what I learned. Here's what I learned in Los Angeles. Art can be anything. It doesn't just have to be an awesome photo of you that you took on. Mars where you're buff which is like that it doesn't have to be a painting of the

member berry it can be a full on performance guys and what I just did was a performance art and now I will hold the pieces back together and you can see that this was Neptune wow wow so that was pretty amazing right that's incredible you got the dark spot yeah there's another dark spot yep pretty impressive and

I and there might be it's kind of has shades of Jupiter of the Jupiter painting some might say But that was also part of the performance That's the trademark of your work Exactly So now that will be And here's how we'll hang it up

We'll hang it up So that the sides are like this Right It's like highlight damage Highlight the rippingness Of the whole thing That's incredible That's like the banks

A Banksy Yeah is it Where it's the self-shredding Exactly But I was the one shredding it Instead of so You were the one shredding The Banksy painting?

Yeah dude They had me back there with a crank And then it got jam You're in a wheel You had to run Yeah Whatever you do, do not burn this crank. Your job is to guard the painting.

I got you, Mr. Banksy. I got you, Mr. Banksy. Oh, it's kind of hot in here. This must be the AC. Yeah, that was a hard job. Yeah. Didn't they just reveal Banksy's identity? Yeah, his name was John Banksy.

He was a peanut. Holy shit. He was not a peanut. He was not a peanut, man. That's what I would do if I was him, though. You'd be a peanut. Or I would just like, I'd be like, I'd be like, here's my face reveal.

And then I would just have a mask on a peanut. And I would take a picture of, I would go up to a random person on the street and be like, can I take a pick of you? Yeah. And I would just, yeah, this is me, y'all. My name is Eduardo. This is a random person. Yep.

I sell street corn. Yeah. This is Banksy. You never, that's the thing that's so beautiful about Banksy. He could be anybody. Yeah. It could be. He could be, well, maybe not anybody.

No, I think he has to be British. He could be a British guy who's alive right now. Yeah. Yeah, well, he could, no, he doesn't have to be alive now. He could have died years ago, we don't know. But he just had to have been alive at some point. Do you think he's something where he'd never even existed? Yeah, he could have.

You think it's like Shakespeare where there's multiple guys? All of the British people together are in on it. Yeah. What if it was the queen? And that's why we haven't seen something for a minute. The queen was Banksy. And she was protesting herself. Controlled opposition.

Sci up. Cy up, man. I was having trouble following that. And I was like, when did the queen protest Banksy? When did she die? Last year or this year. How did she die again? Oldness, yeah. Old age, dude. She got that was shit blown out. It wasn't violent? Oh, it was violent. No, no, no. She didn't have blown up. She didn't have sexed up. She stepped on a landmine in her backyard. Jesus Christ.

Yeah, the Queen of England. There's a landmine from the war, and she didn't know, and she fucking... Why don't we have a queen? All we have is a freaking car. We have a queen. Ew. I thought. We did. Isn't that the first lady? She's not actually technically the queen? I thought you're going to say like Beyonce.

Yeah. I thought you were going to say Lizzo or somebody like this. We could have a queen every couple of years and she knew one. He used to have Melania. Then we had Michelle Obama. Who's Joe Biden's wife? I don't think he has a. Dr. Jill Biden, y'all.

Dr. Jill. You don't forget the doctor. You don't forget. That would suck if that was your, your, like, GP. Her maiden name? Her maiden name is not Dr. It was Pepper. Her name is not

Jill Pepper. Dr. Jill Pepper. It was Dr. Jill Pepper. Yeah. You're fucking me. No, I'm not. You're shitting on me. I wish I was joking.

I really wish that I was joking. Her last thing, you're not for real, though. No, I'm for real. Her real last name was pepper. Well, peppercorn. Now I'm thinking it's a joke. No, it's not a joke. That's a name.

It wouldn't be a word if it wasn't a name. It's a name for a. Her name is Jillian peppercorn. Is it a name for a corn or a vegetable? No. What the fuck is a peppercorn? It's a dried out. Ball.

Oh, I had another idea for a, well, I can't do it because I don't know where my jacket is. But the other idea for a performance art was that I got a bunch of blue gum and I was going to chew 100 pieces of it and make a big ball of gum. Oh, and that would be Neptune. Blue balls. Let's talk about that. Brough. Neptune is the original blue ball. Neptune and Uranus.

Two blue balls. Holy shit. Oh, my God. My blue balls hang over. uranus. How are your balls blue if they're that close to a fucking asshole? Well, because you're getting teased. You're getting edged.

I don't like it, man. I hate that shit, bro. It fucking makes me go crazy. Just make me nut already. Christ! Honestly, though, I do feel like I could, if I'm being edged, I could do anything. Yeah, I agree. I could solve all this.

Should we solve everything? Oh, wait. Are you guys doing no nut November, guys? I'm working on it. I'm starting. We're getting ready. I'm getting ready for it any day here now. Once it starts, I can't stop.

You can't stop no nutting? I can't stop nutting. Or once you start, you know, but... How about nine nuts, November? You only get nine. Nine is a good. And you have to like... Now, for me, it'd have to mean 99 nuts.

99 nuts of November. 99 nuts on the long. The 99... That would be such a fire rom-com. Three and some odd times a day. Then he falls in love. Yeah. They should make rom-coms for guys

that are mostly about fucking. Yeah. They did that. love and marriage. Didn't they do that? That was 40 days and 40 nights? I don't know. I haven't seen anything. It's a movie where a man gets assaulted. And then that's how he loses the challenge. He jizzes

when he gets assaulted? Yeah. He gets us and then it's by a woman. Oh, he's challenged to do 40 days and 40 nights. But then a woman assaults him to jizz? Yeah, and that's how he loses. Wait, he gets sexually. And this is it's played for laughs or it's played as a tragedy. It's played for laughs. It's played for

laughs, yeah. It's crazy. I think it's Josh Harnett is the star. Who's that? He's in Oppenheimer. He's in Oppenheimer. He's like this, in Oppenheimer. You can't do this anymore. Oppenheimer, you crazy bitch.

What? He can't, like, you can't blow up a giant bomb. No, when he says that, he's saying that you can't be a communist. Yeah. Oh, I forgot that. He actually, Oppenheimer. You have to build this. Oh, okay.

I want you to do it. So tell me more about this movie. Oppenheimer. Oppenheimer. Every scene. I like the movie, but it's annoying. Everyone was doing that. Upenheimer.

Oppenheimer, Oppenheimer, Oppenheimer. J. Robert Oppenheimer, J. Robert Oppenheimer, Jay. How many times have you sat right there and I've sat right here? We've gone over this. The American Prometheus. You can't build a bunch of fucking crazy bombs and blow up a bunch of crap, man. What are you building this stuff for? Nobody's going to buy this crap.

Do you hate Japanese people? Is that why you're building that? They're taking a picture of you? The children. There's children outside. And they're taking photos of us. They heard us talking about Oppenheimer, a bunch of a bunch of a movie movie fans.

Yeah. I think that those are Oppenheimer stands out there. Yeah, they're trying to tear down the studio bro.

God damn bastards. All right. Oppenheimer. Oh, that movie, yeah, that's how the movie ends.

His girlfriend finds out. What are we going to do? I think I'm going to name myself Oppenheimer. That's how it ends. I think I'm going to call him

Oppenheimer. They looked out. They called the bomb. The Oppenheimer bomb. Wow. They looked out by calling him Opie the whole movie.

It's cool. It's a cool. Apparently has his real-life nickname. That was his nickname. Oppie? Appenheimer all the time like that.

What? Oh, yeah. I wouldn't say Oppenheimer. Appenheimer. You'd say Opie, opi, opi, opi, api. Appi, opi, api. They call him, they only call him opi the whole movie. Yeah.

Really? Yeah. They do. Why not Robert? Or Jay. Jay. What is the J stand for? Nothing, apparently.

Really? That's what he's the line in the movie. Holy crap. He doesn't stand for anything. Oh, shit. Oh, is that he doesn't get a fuck about anything? Einstein's in it, too. Yeah.

Albert, Albert. Einstein, Einstein. It's nice to see you again. Einstein, that's a name I haven't heard in a long time. They call me Albert E now. All right. We're going to take Julio out. You've got to take him out to the club right now.

We're taking him to do. Do you want to go clubbing? Yeah. It's been one of your video episodes. Do you guys know that? Today? It's actually, oh, here's something interesting. Everybody can blew it on the worst one.

Well, it wasn't today. It's like fine today. Neptune? It's a blue episode. It's a blue death. Or a gray day. It is a great day. Here's something crazy that's coming up.

What's that? The fifth anniversary of the podcast is on Christmas Eve. We're sending into kindergarten, y'all. It's crazy. Can you believe that? I can believe it. Fudd is going to kindergarten. Everyone, I want to see some type of celebration from everybody.

Use the hashtag five years of pal. And you have to draw it on your body. No. No. No. Someone else's body. Draw it on someone else's body. on the train and then take a video of you doing it.

Basically, December is going to be the month of pal. We have to figure out what the plan is. But if you guys like the five weeks of planets, guess what, man? The five years of podcast. This is going to be the rest of the entire podcast is an awesome themed month. And after planet, we'll figure it out. Somebody said dinosaurs. I like that idea.

I like that. I have so, dude, I have so many dinosaur books that I can bring in and we can study together. The entire podcast is kind of changing from being about. a list of different things that we do with the whole thing well that's why the name is so great it's so flexible exactly yeah yeah all right

hashtag five years of pal check us out on thanksgiving at Caleb's apartment.com Thanksgiving or com at our house we'll be live streaming at Thanksgiving.com. Yep, shown a bunch of videos of people doing a turkey eating competition. All right

by my friends. Listen up, man. I think that we need to eat this bobo stew while it's still hot. We need to... Is it even hot? It's not hot. It's not going to be hot at all when the... Suck my dick, man.

I fucking made this all day. It looks so good. It looks so good. How do you know it tastes like shit? Got a bite of the stews part. It doesn't say like shit, but there's no... Well, it's gonna taste like shit in a second. It's about to be...

It won't taste like shit. Yeah, this is... Oh, dear. George Digg... George Dickle, White. I pull myself a little something. Some of that dickle. That white dickle.

Pour up that white dickle. Let's get a stew. Pour up that white dickle. White dickle. All right, a little bit of white dickle. Huh? Not enough. Wait, you're crazy, mate.

Oh, my God. This guy was more white dickle. All right. That should be getting me. White dickle. White dickle. Okay. Guys, wait, before we do this, what are you thankful for?

Stinkful. What are you stinkful for? I'm stinkful for everything that has happened this year. Wow. I'm very stinkful for the fact that the five weeks of planets has lined up so beautifully between the stinky planet and the Stinkly holiday. I love you guys.

Happy Stinkisgiving. My favorite online community. Oh, God. It's so much. It's literally so much. That was way too much. It's gone off. It's so quality.

It's literally completely inedible now. It smells like when you're cooking bottoms up. It smells like when you cook Marsala. Jesus Christ. Oh, fuck. Caleb, you went right in. I'm gonna eat the beef. It's kind of good, man.

I'm gonna have a bite of beef. I'm gonna kind of skip the broth, maybe. You gotta get the broth. I gotta get the broth. Oh, it's chewable. Oh, you spin it out, oh, bit. Oh, he's not stable. Oh, no, no, no, that tastes it exactly.

Like throw up. Boom! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.