Podcast About List - Ep. 268 - The Five Weeks Of Planets: The Sun

Episode Date: November 29, 2023

This one is about the biggest and shiniest star in our galaxy: Patrick. Watch the full video for this episode youtube.com/@PodcastAboutList Buy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

I thought that would work. You thought that would work. You thought dropping the gun was going to work. Dude, what the hell are you doing, man? Don't do it anymore. The citrus is in? I told you. This already.

But you put it on the, you put it on the table to show me, man. No, because I was going to take one. You were showing off. Mmm. I'm glad that we're getting to the. point with nicotine. This is how all drugs should be. Yeah. You should not be

enjoying nicotine, sitting back smoking a cigar, having it slowly enter your body and saying, oh, margars look like poopy. First of all, I'm going to say it. But you should, everything like this, you should be taking it. You got some crap in the middle of your. Bro, I got the fake Oakley's that got

eczema, man. Your Oakley's got Exxema. Look at them. Look at that's in action, Bronson lyric. My, my Oakley's got... My Oakley's got eggsma! I do see it. I do. Oh, those might be real. and then they like the coating that happens sometimes do you think they saw real

Oakley's for one dollar where'd you get them the store? The dollar store the Chinese store are Oakley's expensive yeah why

expensive man it costs me one fucking dollar it's already falling apart I got an Oakley backpack oh you guys are wearing sunglasses because of the sun oh I wasn't even meaning to do that

I just my eyes hurt that's incredible I almost like sunglasses also but I don't want to ruin my my amazing lion makeup that I did I thought I was tired early guys no this is a lion can see the main

the red is the main and then the white oh and the mustache is part of the main yeah well I didn't want to do full face why because I have to do something after this you did zoo you did a bit of a zoo pals yeah I do look like a zoo pal all right let's walk it through

the whole thing guys welcome to the five weeks of planets week five day one day one the motherfucking son i don't want there to be more planets discovered wait i just remembered i have the most insane news to share i'm sorry to do this right at the top but this is really important this changed my life forever this morning well tell my ass man stop making me sit here i saw this on twitter or i guess i should say x yes i saw this on x this morning do you know how every year the japanese make a list of birthdays

that are the most lucky and fortunate birthdays for that year. And the 2024 birthday list has dropped. Oh, my God. Way! Now, I want you to zoom in here and look at birthday number one, bro. Now, I just want to show you what this looks like first. Birthday number one. What's the number one most lucky birthday in 2024?

Cameron, that's your birthday. Seven, four, bro. That's my birthday. The fourth of July. Number one most lucky birthday. I am the least. luckiest guy, number one guy for 2024. That's

fucking crazy. Isn't that unbelievable? Where's my, is my birthday on here? Every birthday's on there, man. Wait, it's ranked? It's ranked from one to 366. Okay. 723. The day of, the first day of Leo, which is why I'm dressed up like a lion.

Oh, because of the sun is the sun. I don't know. 721 is number 25. I can't look at this now. I'm going to, if I know what my, my luck is, then I know I'm going to have a bad year. See, I couldn't believe, I can tell you, I was in full denial when I saw my birthday on there to the point where I was like, oh, you know what? That must be April 7th.

Maybe they do it backwards, but they don't, bro. It's my birthday. I'm number one luckiest. Holy crap. And literally is changing my life per, per, permanently. Holy shit. Permanently? Yeah, well, it hasn't started yet.

Yeah. I still have a few months to go. Guess what the second worst birthday is? What? what fucking April Fool's Day, well, yeah. That makes sense.

And the absolute worst is August 19th. That's the least lucky birthday. If you are burnt, born, reburn on August 19th, that's right. I feel fucking sorry.

Yeah, you're even, you're, you're on one, only every four years do you get a chance to be as low as you are on that list.

You're number 366. Not 365. Yeah, 300, exactly. That's literally so fucking unless next year or leap year? Yeah.

Holy shit We gotta do something for that this year Dude, I can't find my birthday But we gotta do something for that this year It's gonna be amazing We have to do something for leap day All right, what should we do? I don't even know

I'm too excited to even think It's a free day Well, let's just go somewhere I've never done shit for leap day Yeah well is leap day when an episode Well wait no leap day here So leap day the way we should do for leap day Just do something that will be erased from history

When it's over So we do something we will regret so fucking bad. Yeah, like we could have a relationship with each other. Can you throw me a cup?

You don't have a relationship with us? I can get rid of this in. Well, I don't want to but I'm saying on leap day it's like, well, might as well do it on leap day because that day is going to disappear.

So it's basically we won't even have a memory of it. I'm getting a really bad throw. I'm getting really fucking scared looking at this list. Going scrolling down and down and down. Do it again. Try and get me a number.

Although I think I'm in the top half at least, which is amazing. Oh, that's a lot of cups being thrown. Did you start from the bottom? Yeah, I started from the bottom because I figured

I was like, with my fucking luck, I probably am the least fucking best birthday, dude. Do you look up for my fifth? Wait, I'm the 111. That's one one. That's lucky number. Here, Julio will look for the rest. I'll send this to Julio and Julio will look for the rest of our birthday.

Yeah, Julio, 723 is my birthday. I'm sending you on Twitter. Leo. Do we have a lion sound effect? Are you a Leo? Yeah. Why do we have a lion sound effect? So what are you?

What's your answer? Damn, dude. I'm a airy. man yeah yeah so somebody tell about the kind of compatibility for throuples between that i think that erie you look that up because aries and leos are both fire signs i think they are compatible and i think there's a water water sign i don't think that the same thing is compatible don't you want to have a team i think you want to have a team which one is the hacker uh that's got to be jemini bro definitely that's a hacker name that's a man name jemini jet force or leo neo though

Leo Neo, true. Cancer. Cancer. You can answer. Necromancer. What? Dancer? The cancer, the cancer dancer?

The cancer dance. You could be the cancer dancer. You would be the cancer dancer. I guess that would be Leo. Aries is a bird. Also a hacker name. Aries is a ram. Whatever,

Ares could also be a hacker name. Yeah, I guess you're right. Cancer is a crab. Yeah. And Leo is a lion. What is Aries again? Is it a ram? It's a ram, dude.

And then Capricorn is a goat? Dude, last night. I went to fucking... I went to 30 Rock for undisclosed reasons, dude. To see if the tree was on. The tree wasn't on. Oh.

I went to go fucking look at the tree. The tree was completely fucking off, man. Yeah. The tree was there. The tree was there, but they hadn't turned the lights on. Ah. It's pissing me off in a major way. Yeah.

Anyway. I'd be pissed too. Did you know that the Christmas tree in Boston is an annual gift from Canada? No, I didn't know that. That's from like Halifax or something. Huh. because we helped them in the war

I like when countries like each other and they send us their best Christmas tree every year I like when they're sister cities but there's some fucking bunk-ass sister cities that's the sister city of Boston I discover my dad Halifax I think it's Halifax it's one of them do you have a superoops

the whole the sister city of my hometown was like some fucking spot in Russia I've never heard of yeah that's always how it is man I think that's what it was how come it's never but listen to the fact is Hollywood yeah or that

That would be sick. Hollywood's sister city of Wilmington, North Carolina is not like London Derry, New Hampshire's sister city is like a city in like Zimbabwe. It should be, it should be that all the worst cities get the best sister cities so that they can be mentored. Exactly. Yeah. Their cities can be mentored. You need a bad. What is the sister city of New York?

What is this sister city? It's got to be L.A. It's L.A. It's just so similar. It's probably L.A., Shanghai, Hong Kong. Tokyo. Yeah. Probably Tokyo.

Okay. And one of those at once. Apparently, New York City has... Lots of sisters. Apparently, New York City has a good chunk. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, man. Wait, they're cheating on each other? If L.A. is a sister city of New York,

I honestly would have to say it would be the evil step sister, Cinderella style. Okay, so New York City's sister cities are Athens, Greece, Beijing, China, Budapest, 100. You were right as fuck. It's just all the biggest city. That's so funny. Tokyo.

I was like, do you want to be? Jerusalem. But Brooklyn's got... Yes, bitch. Fine. Brooklyn's got Anzio, Italy. Oh. Bessigatast. The turkey.

Benny Brock Israel. Benny Blanco. Benny Blanco. You put your Zen in a weird spot, man. I did. He's popping out. He's new to it. Hit the upper decky, man.

I don't do the upper decker. Why? That's where it belongs. My top teeth. God gave you a top deck for a reason. So beautiful. Your teeth look like shit. I know.

Pat. You're one, two, three. Huh? You're 1113. 1.13. Wait, you guys are so right next to each other. That's crazy. 111 and 113.

What's yours for Leo? I couldn't find it. That's sad. Yeah, that is sad. I'm sorry that you can't find it. The one birthday that's not happening. Guys, this is a big one.

The motherfucking son. Literally a big one. The biggest one we've done so far. It's not a planet, but it is a star. The yellow sun, no Bart, man. Let's get this shit. I was going to just dress up like Bart. Yeah, that would have been a layup.

That would have been a layup. I went the road less traveled. Yeah, the lion, which doesn't make that much sense. Makes a lot of sense when you think of astrological signs. Which, be prepared to learn and to laugh at him to them. And now the Planet Report with Cameron Fetter. I fully did replace this with the normal one before this, but I guess it didn't take. That's funny.

The Cameron Report. With Planet Fetter. It's the Star Report today. Today we're doing the Splendor of the Sun. Wow. A Star Report. The nearest star system to the sun is Alpha Centauri. I'd consider Alpha Centauri to be our neighbors,

and I'd like to think that the Alpha Centaurians would consider us their neighbors as well. So for this Star report, I'd like to take a step outside the Earthling perspective we've been so tied to. That's right. I'll be doing this report from the perspective of one of our neighbors, an Alpha Centurion. Oh, wow. I can't wait for this. But of an outside perspective on the sun. so here we go we have been trying to contact our neighbor for some time now

our neighbor seems very interesting but I am most fascinated by my neighbor's son the biggest point of interest in my neighbor's area here's some facts about my neighbor's son that I have learned from careful research there is nothing necessarily unique about my neighbor's son, but my neighbor's son is still a star. My other neighbors have sons that are brighter or up to 100 times larger or hotter. Some of my neighbors even have

two or three sons, but my neighbor's son is very important to the people that live in my neighbor's system. This is because my neighbor's son indirectly provides them with the nutrients necessary for life. My neighbor's son is currently a yellow dwarf. It will soon grow and become a red giant. Then, at the end of its lifespan, it will become a white dwarf. In billions of years, my neighbor's son will explode. My research on my neighbor's son has taught me many interesting facts.

For example, the hottest part of my neighbor's son is its core. and it only gets hotter as the years go by I make sure to do all my observation of my neighbor's son from a long distance so nobody in my neighbor's area realizes I'm there my neighbors would freak out if they saw me doing experiments on their son if my neighbor's son were to die my neighbors would only find out after about eight minutes and if my neighbor's son died

my neighbors would surely follow suit In conclusion, I must say I am fascinated by my neighbor's son. Someday, I would love to get up close and personal and really inspect it. With the technology and advanced science I have, I think I could even do a better job taking care of my neighbor's son than my neighbor could. Too bad, I'm not allowed to approach my neighbor's son due to galactic law. That's just how life is in Alpha Centauri. Wow.

That's amazing. There's an amazing planet report. You know, that's kind of, that's interesting. You're talking about neighboring galaxies while we were talking about sisters, after we talked about sister cities. Yeah. Why don't we have a sister planet? Again, the stars aligning.

We do have a sister planet's Mars. Yeah. Yeah, shut up. Someone didn't pay attention. I pay attention every day. Somebody's not paying attention. Can you walk us through your outfit? We didn't even go through yours.

Yeah, I think me and pets are kind of pretty clear. The lion part, I guess. The lion part is very clear. Leo is. And it's orange like the sun. Let's go. Let's go, man. You want to know about my shit? Yeah.

I'm a shining star, no matter who you are. Justin Bieber. Dude, I am a celebrity. Oh, you're Lady Gaga? No. You do look like Lady Gaga right now. I call it shame. The Hollywood Walk of Shame.

You look like Lady Gaga. I'm Lady Gaga, man. The biggest star in the universe. And you sing, what's that song? I'm on the deep end watches I dive in. I'm never losing. in my shoes Wow

I'm stuck on the edge of food Oh my God Or it's called something It's called I'm on the edge of food It's a song that I've never seen that movie I'm on the I'm on the deep bed Oh I just realized what movie you're talking about

A star is born A star is born You're kidding me dude This lines up in an amazing way Everything has been lining up so perfectly It's crazy Okay walk us through your prison lion outfit Okay, well...

It's lining up. Orange here. Orange here to represent the orangeness of the sun. The sun is yellow, man. But then it goes into this yellow here, which is the beginning of the lion's face. And then the outside of it is the lion's mane. And then pink and red here. But why lion, though?

I've said it six times. But Leo is Leo the sun? Leo is the sun sign? Oh, okay. Shit. Well, everyone doesn't know anything about astrology. Back in my day, a sun sign was like my sun sign's cancer is sun sign. Well, my sun sign is in Leo.

Right, but I don't think Leo is not a sun sign. It is your son of that sign. Bro, you tried to pull a, you don't know anything about astrology. You don't know anything about astrology. Actually, he probably definitely knows the most of astrology. I'm sure he does, but I don't think what you're saying makes any sense. I thought it's fire water. I thought it was firewater, earth and air.

You're thinking of Avatar. You are thinking of Avatar. I've never seen Avatar, so I wouldn't know. You never seen Avatar? You've seen Avatar. I saw the blue avatar. I love that shit. You never seen that.

I think about that every day when I'm falling asleep. It honestly gives me fuel for my life. The blue planets? Avatar 2, The Family. That's what it's called? It's going to be my family one day.

Avatar 2, the family. That's what I call it. It kind of is the Avatar 2. I still haven't seen either. Bro, Avatar 2 is the best movie. It was fucking amazing. So fucking good. Who's life changing?

Avatar 3 coming in 2025, I think. 2025 Christmas. That shit ain't never coming out. No, it's coming, man. They're in post production already. I think no movies are going to drop. They filmed it together with two and two. It was already filmed.

You know, it's a movie I learned about sunshine. Oh, yeah. That one's about the sun. That's about the sun. Is it for real? Eternal sunshine. Eternal sunshine. I had to stop watching that movie one time.

Why? Scare me. When he goes into the apartment and everything's crazy. I never saw that one? I had to walk out of the movie theater. Still haven't seen that one. I think I was too scary. It reminded me a lish rooms, man.

Oh, the shining. Shining's about the sun. what other son? Oh my god. Yeah, that's why it's called the Shiding because it's about his son. Wow. Holy shit. Yep. Jack Nickel. Son. Oh, shit. And Sun.

Shelly. And son bitch. Sun fucking bitches in that movie. Suddenly Hugh Brick. Yep. Wait. And guess what it's about? And it's about how they faked going to the moon. Because really, they went to the sun. Yeah. That's why they had to fake going to.

the moon. Yeah, they built a moon set on the sun. Nobody was going to believe it if they went to the sun. Yeah, we actually went to the moon. You need the biggest source of natural light.

Of course, you're going to go to the sun. Sun Zoo. The art of stars. The art of store. Store. Where is the sun? The art of water is the sun, man.

In the sky. Oh, wait. It's right there. It's always there. The sun is the first thing you see if you're born outside during the daytime. And you're looking up

the sky and you don't notice anything else. I guess that is the first thing you would see. That's a really good point. That's incredible. All right, Cameron, show us your outfit. What do you got, man? Well, I got the sunglasses for the sun. I was going to put some sunscreen on my face, but I forgot to bring it.

I was going to put the light sunscreen on my nose kind of. Larry the lobster, man. Imagine that. I got a yellow shirt for the yellow color of the sun. And it's also, it's a shirt for a youth summer camp. And who do you send to a youth summer camp? Your son. Your son.

Or your daughter. But my son. The son is the, or the daughter is the son of the mom. Daughter is the moon of the sun. Have he ever tried sunning, your butt cheeks and your balls? Sunning? No.

The perennium? Do not sun my perennium. I kind of think it might work now. I think that that's supposed to remain dark. I don't think that's supposed to. I think there's a reason that's where the sun don't shine. Oh, shit. Yeah, where the sun don't shine.

Even back before we invented clothes, the sun was not getting up in there. Very rarely. And they were not. Imagine you see a caveman just doggy style pointing his butt at the sun? I put a bone in it. Yeah. If I saw that shit, I'm pulling up with a bone. Take this bone.

I'm hitting that thing with the club. Get the hell out of here. That's why they invented loincloths. All the cavemen were doing that. I'm sick of this, man. I don't want to see this shit. Come on. I'm fine with seeing all your hairy chest and man boobs and whatever, but I don't want to see

your asshole, man. You're sticking at the sun all the time. Now I'm fucking horny because I saw this caveman. hairy ass. Yeah. And the reason they're called loin cloths

is because they made them out, they used to kill cave lions and make them out of cave lion skin. They couldn't spell back then.

So they said loin instead of a lion. And the lion is the animal of the sun. Yeah. A lion is not the animal of the sun man.

No. Again, you go. A lion. From Pokemon. Think about that. I guess there's a sun lion and

Pokemon. But the sun, I would say the sun animal. There's an electric mouse. There's an electric mouse. It's based on mythology. And I wouldn't

be like, oh, a mouse, You can't touch your face. No, but I do have an itch. Let me get it. You want makeup on your finger? I don't, bro.

Yeah, I really don't. You really don't. This stuff is toxic. What was the first time you guys ever saw the sun? First time I ever saw the sun? You were born outside, looking up. Probably when I left the hospital, I guess. I can imagine you being born in a hot tub.

I was looking into the sun for a while. Yeah. I wasn't born in the hot tub. You're like, I could imagine I was born in a water birth. And fucking Mount Auburn Hospital, bro. Mount Auburn. Yeah. Or dead it.

That's in Cambridge. You don't know Mount Auburn Hospital? No. Fake. I was born in St. Elizabeth's. Right. Everybody knows Mount Auburn, bro. I was born in St. Elizabeth's in Brighton. Brighton, then the sun. I was born in New Hanover County Medical Center. Wow. St. Elizabeth's Hospital. They put me in the center up there. Solar System. Holy shit. This is getting crazy. St. Elizabeth's hospital. Burn. Yeah, sun hot. Also, who was born there, Mike Bloomberg. What does the sun do?

Blum. Makes those flowers bloom. Makes the world go around. Melt's icebergs. And it melts icebergs. Mike. That's why his name is so crazy. Looks like this part of the mic. Do you guys ever get scared that the sun's just going to go out? Yeah, but as a Malfa Centorian informed us, we wouldn't know for eight minutes. Yeah, but that doesn't really help me.

That's not very long. Yeah, that's not so long. I probably couldn't live the rest of my life in eight minutes. I'd be able to do something crazy. Eight minutes, you would be like, you'd be at your computer, you'd be looking, you'd be Googling funny movies or whatever. Yeah. And you'd see it going on. You'd be like, oh, my God, the past eight minutes.

I could have been doing everything I've ever done. I'm spending eight minutes on IMDB. Eight minute, try not to laugh challenge. If you had eight minutes to live, what are you doing? First of all, I would sell all my belongings, so I'd be super rich. Yeah. Okay, so that's the first 30 seconds. Then I buy new, more luxurious belongings with the money.

That's the next 30. Which way? Is that the same amount of money? Yeah, well. Wait, so you're selling everything. Well, here's again. I sell everything. So that includes all the essentials, right?

And I'm using that money. I don't need, I'm not going to buy another toothbrush, bro. I'm not going to buy a bed. Would you sell your hair? I'm not going to sleep again. I'm not going to buy a bed. So, all the stuff that I sell, I can buy stuff that I'll use

the next few minutes. So you've used like a... And you would also sell your hair. Right? I wouldn't sell my hair, man. No. Well, you're going to die with dignity. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry that maybe two people at this table might want your hair. They begged for me to donate my hair when I got a haircut in Boston. I was like this. Damn. Fuck that. Fuck you, bro. Imagine you can take my beautiful hair. Some beautiful cancerous woman walking around

with your hair. They have to cut a certain amount of hair off of your head in order to donate it. Yeah. So they try and upsell you. They'd be like, oh, you want it this sort. You know, if I cut it only five inches shorter, you can donate it. Like, what the, I don't want five inches shorter. What are you talking about? My high school had the biggest hair donation drive in the state or in the country. Yeah. Because the biggest hair, it was the panty and locks of love. It was a pep rally that we always had to fucking go to. If you skipped it, you got in a shit ton of trouble. And we had to watch every single girl in this school cut their hair. And it got so bad that

Every girl was bullying girls for not cutting their long hair. That would have been the most incredible experience of all time for a young boy with a developing fetish. Definitely. Definitely. I'll volunteer to sweep up the hair, man. Every single girl in your school is cutting their hair. Hair cut in front of you. And you're watching in an audience, a crowd.

You're cheering. There's a teacher whose whole job was pep rallies at the school. This is his entire job. So he wasn't a teacher at all. He was an English teacher. It was mostly there because he loved pep rallies, and he loved this Pantene beautiful lengths thing so much. And I think that Selena Gomez said,

good job, and that was big news. Big news at the school with Selena Gomez saying, great job cutting off all that damn hair. Yeah, she got big news. She got, yeah, there was news about her recently. She had a face looked weird in a new photo. That's hardly news to me. That's not much.

That's what we consider news nowadays. That's what is, you know, breaking Selena Gomez is stunts in new photo. That's the news now. I never donated my hair. You think that she's stunned because her face looked weird? Yeah. You think she got stunned? She got stunned.

She got stunned and then her face got all fucked. Selena Gomez stunk and new photo. Selena Gomez stung and new photo. It was either Selena Gomez or Demi Lovato. It's one of those fucking. One of them stunned. One of them stunned and left no crud. Or shit.

The podcast Twitter account, every post on there is a picture of Selena Gomez. Yeah. On the news feed. Yeah. It's beautiful. Because years ago, I followed every single Twitter topic, and most of them just word pop stand things.

Oh, yeah. So I always, whenever I switch over to check the notifications, I see, I see just a bunch of pictures of Selena Gomez just on the homepage. Stuns a new photo. I saw their, they're leveling up there, their captions, man. I saw one yesterday that said Selena Gomez looks resplendent.

Whoa. Wow. Isn't that crazy? That is splendid, you say. That's got to be an AI. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah. No way that, no way that a stand.

is saying resplendent. Unless it was like a foppish Stan. Yeah. Do you imagine that? Stang from the 1700s? I got made fun of. I got made fun of for using a...

Something that looks absolutely resplendent. It was crazy. I got made fun of for using a word today, man. I didn't hurt my feelings. What, resplendent? No, dude, I used a fucking netty pot, right? Yeah. I used a netty pot and guys,

I used to use netty pots all the time. I use it this time, because I've been sick for like a month now. Use the netty pot this time. No dice. Didn't do anything. And I told my wife. I said this net netty pots used to be the paragon of of nasal clarity and she said

pro she said what and I said yeah that's not one word they got you in trouble there you are sounding like the foppish stand I thought that that was a pretty good sentence you are sounding like she said that sounds like your your your your uh your your aceop rock trying to make something fair a gun of nasal clarity yeah yeah that's I I I just you know I thought that it was a pretty cool thing to say and that you shouldn't try to say sound cool to your wife. Yeah, I got to keep this shit. Yeah, you should.

Not in the morning. Wait. You don't sound cool to your wife in the morning. You sound cool to your wife like end of the day. Would you disagree that the netty pot used to be known as the paragon of nasal clarity? You say that at the end of the day. You say that when she comes home from work.

What up, girl? Sub girl. I got to tell you something real quick. I use the paragon of nasal clarity and it didn't hit like it used to. Straight the fuck up. Yeah, because she's got to have something to come home to. Yeah, I guess you're right. You got to, you know, you got to, like, you got to tell your wife, like, oh, today, guess who I saw?

Elmo, Times Square. She's been mad at me because I, my friends are in town, my buddies are in town, and I've been going and hanging out with them during the day on her days off. And she'll be like, hey, do you want to go to get some lunch day? And I say, no, bitch, I have to go to the Eminem store. Right. And I went to the Eminem store yesterday. What M&Ms did you guys get? Dude, fudge brownie, dark chocolate almond.

Please say peanut. Wait, you got two different ones? Yeah. Cheater. How's that cheater? Wait. Bro, you can get a million types of peanuts there. I'm just talking about the scanner.

Oh, I didn't do the scanner. Because I got the red one time and I'm never doing that shit again. Julio, what did you scan this? I think I got the golden one. Golden? What the fuck are you talking about? That's a golden one, I think. I think I actually got the golden perfect time.

What do you mean? 100% true. Everybody else got a blue one. You mean the yellow one? Golden. Golden. There's no golden Eminem, you fucking dickhead. That's bullshit.

You shut up. There's no golden Eminem. You're a bullshitter. You are bullshitting right now. We have a witness here. I wasn't actually, I was upstairs trying to find a bathroom. Oh, okay. Well, you should call who was with you and try to, we need to, we need some proof.

We need this to be debunked. We need a Snopes type of thing. You're not the fucking golden Eminem, man. You're not the golden Eminem. I don't believe that there's a golden Eminem. That's complete bullshit. Yeah, I don't trust you. I do not trust it.

I don't trust, man. It probably was a yellow Eminem. Definitely. It was definitely yellow. Amarillo. The golden eminent. Dude, he is not the golden eminem. That's something, yeah, that's something I would do if I was trying to get, like, my little brother to, like, eat a flavor of skiddle I didn't want.

Oh, it's the golden one. It's like a disgusting banana skiddle or something. Oh, my God, you got the golden one. He should have all the golden ones. He is looking defeated. He's looking dejected. Yeah, he's a picture of it. My last phone.

it's not here I took a picture on your last phone your last phone it was just lie it's all fucking lie he's a phone every day he just lies and lies

and lies and he's talking about I took I got bro listen to yourself you said I scanned as the golden Eminem but I took a picture of it on my last phone you were lying

your teeth what are you talking about you're lying you're lying through your goddamn teeth I also went to Margaritaville yeah I saw that

that was fucking amazing I love Margaritaville man they gave us a free postcard yeah I heard about this. Yeah, dude. They took a photo

of all of us. That's huge. It was fucking huge, man. They do that at Dallas Barbecue also. What's that? You never been at Dallas Barbecue? It was in Dallas. No, it's in New York. Oh, wait, I went past that place before. They had a Desus and Mero collab. What happened of these guys? What happened to Desus and Mero?

I don't know. I think there's a serious gap that we might be able to fill in pop culture. Now that Desus and Mero are not doing this shit anymore. Well, yeah, let's talk to the Dallas Barbecue. Did they get... I think did they beefed and then they split. They split. Yeah, which is sad as fuck. What if each of us tried, one of us each tried to pair up,

one of us tried to be the part of the new duo with Deezis. One tribe with Mero. To see who the real Star Power was. Then we parent trap them. Oh, snap. Yeah. We do a. A Deasus and Mero Trap.

Yes. How would we do it, man? We'd say, you guys should. Well, there'd have to be fireworks. Yeah, we'd have to bring them, you know, exactly like the parent trap. How do they do it in parent trap? Fireworks and stuff. Oh, the parent trap would be a really good D&D thing.

Oh, that would be good idea. How did, do you guys think parent trap would have worked with your parents? No. Because my parents have been together. Definitely not. Mine definitely would not have worked. Because what, they went to the same pool? Yeah, I mean, let me say, it would have to be a trap.

It would have to be a literal spiked sawtrap where if they didn't marry each other again, they died. Hello. And even then. The parent trap was more of the parent suggestion. Yeah. Hardly a trap. The parent idea. Yeah.

Just imagining the saw trap, parent trap where it's like, hello, you split up and you heard a little boy's feelings. Yeah. 30 years ago. That's what most of the saw movies are about. He's 30 years ago.

A little boy. A little boy got his heart broken. That's an old fucking picture, bro. Yeah, that is old. I recognize that one. But that was me and I was red, dude. And I'm never, ever. No, this is actually from yesterday.

And Caleb was wearing a mask in the end of the store. So what? I'm safe. Who gives a fuck? Oh, boo-hoo. I'm really conscious about my safety. I couldn't find it. Because it doesn't exist, man.

It's not racist to say that you're not the golden M&M. That's what I said. Why you thought he said it's racist? Yeah, I thought he was calling his racist like he always does. That's crazy. He doesn't ever call. He calls you racist a bunch? He calls a lot of us.

Not me, man. Yeah, he's never called me racist once. You must be doing something racist. Sorry I showed up in a summer. I don't know. That wouldn't be racist. That would be cool. That would be a tribute.

Yeah, a tribute. Well, I had a shirt on that said, I'm Julio, and I was doing this. Popping shots. Yeah. Aye, aye, aye, aye. And I'm sorry. That's okay. You were being that mouse.

Speedy. Speedy. Oh, it's authentico. Do you guys want to see? Okay. Let's do it. So, you know, I've been doing this art shit for some time now. Yeah, I thought that when you showed up with the glasses and the wig, I thought you were being Andy Warhol for a second.

First of all, I didn't show up with either of them. Put him on when I got here. Yeah, I know, but that's what I thought you were doing. No, dude.

Andy Warthog, more like. Guys? As far as fuck, I don't like him. Guys? You know, he used to cut his wig

and then would show back up with a longer wig at the barbershop. He wore a wig. He wore a wig. He wore a wig. And then would show back up with a longer wig

and get that cut to pretend like he grow it. He used to paint food. Mm-hmm. He painted soup. Nowadays, he would have an incredible job at Amazon.

Yes. thumbnails for the food on Whole Foods part. Before I started this art shit, this different chapter of my life where everything has changed for me, I thought Andy Warhol, stupid piece of crap ruined art, made it all about food. Art used to be about amazing girls. And now it's about fucking bullshit food and flowers and shit. And I hated that shit. But now I have moved to a world where modern art is so fucking amazing to me and I'm loving performances and concepts in a way. it and consent all my stuff is about consent if you look at any of my paintings this is about

consent this is about consent uh-huh that's just what i do now yeah right about this one that one is definitely about consent okay yeah because it's because it's the little things that count with consent that's what that means to that's why that little ass painting is that little one i see yeah member i think your point is member berries i remember it member consent this is planet consent mars but here's my modern art for today okay ready guys my modern art is Patrick because he's my sunshine

wow give me a smile oh I'm not a modern art fan dude you don't have modern art bro well you flopped completely that's my art for today upside out cup

okay I don't have a fucking painting all right I didn't have a painting because I woke up and I had to move my air conditioner to the fucking basement All right. Freestyle a haiku right now. Freestyle haiku about Patrick being my sunshine.

Yeah. Okay. That's going to remove it. I'm here for it. You are my sunshine. My only. My only sunshine, Patrick. You are brilliant.

Hold on. Wait. Start this one again. You are brilliant. Okay. Friend. Wow. Oops. There we go.

I can do haikus all day, man. I belong in a different country. I guess that counts. as art. They should extradite me to Japan because I'm so good at haikus. It's criminal how good I am. I showed their shit up in a crazy way

and I'm not even from their country. How many times have you, you did a haiku? You did a haiku recently. I'm about haikus. I'm about that shit. When did you do a haiku last? For the other planet.

I'll do another one right now. Okay. Cameron. Lovely friend. That's five. Oh, hold on. yellow face son

I think you're thinking of me again oh shit white yellow shirt amazing amazing son with a big ass dick wow

yeah that was good that was a good one that was a good one so yeah so I promise that for the moon I'm going to have some installation which nowadays I'm off of watercolors I'm off of acrylics I don't do this

charcoal shit anymore I am an installation artist oh what the hell did you just do he was a dropper he spilled his phone he spilled his phone you fell asleep better go get your next phone bro you look like a piece of popcorn me yeah kind of look like a popcorn

in what way I saw a lady today and that you buttery with yo stees Damn, buttery smooth. Damn. Do you just think that you could fucking pick up a girl at the movie theater while the movie's blasting loud as fuck war scene from saving her up?

I would pull the fire alarm and then carry her out like I'm saving her life. I would pull the fire alarm and then I would be walking out and I'd be flexing my muscles when I was walking out and I'd be like, if I catch the guy who pulled the fire alarm, ruin the screening of fucking Napoleon, I'm going to rip him one from

him until he screams for mercy. And I'm not going to stop. And I would stop. Because I don't stop. You know what? I'm thinking maybe before that, if this doesn't work, if, you know, I'd pull the fire alarm and do that. If this doesn't work, I'd be sitting in a screening of Napoleon.

And then right when the movie starts to go, oh, I thought this was Napoleon Dynamite. That's what I'm saying. A girl laughs so hard that she comes home with me. Hey, where's Pedro? And the girl with the bracelet. Where's Uncle Rico? That's what the movie.

This is what the movie theater would say. sound like, right, ready? Hey, Napoleon, give me some of your tots. Pause. Yeah. We should do that. We should go do Mystery Science 3,000 at the Napoleon's screen. I guess what you do is you go to Napoleon.

You go, damn, this shit's boring. It's so boyish. I wonder what the Barbie is for Napoleon. Like Barbenheimer, if there's doing a Barbolian, what's the barb part? Yeah, exactly. And I asked the girl for advice. Do you want to go see the barb part of Barbolian? I'd say that.

Hey, girl. I'd walk up, I'd type of... What's up, girl? Can you tell me, do you want to go see what the barb, part of Barbolian is? Like a regal where they have, like, the reclining chairs. So, like, you're, you're, like, tapping her, but she can't... You're tapping the chair, and she can't tell because it's so soft. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And I would say, let's go see Priscilla. Oh, it's Priscilla. I creep out behind her, and I'd say, you want to see Priscilla? Do you want to see Priscilla? Do you want to go into a different theater? It's a lot. It's about...

That's what I'd be saying. That's what that movie's about is romance. It's about romance and it's about falling in love with a girl. I'm trying to think about. Seeing a girl and falling in love with her. Why are there so many movies named after girls, man? Priscilla. Barbie.

Mandy. Barbie. Where are the guy's names? Sarah Silverman program. Saving Sarah Silverman. Saving Sarah Silverman, which I would save her. You would save her from Zionism? Sunshine.

Sunshine could be a girl's man. I would save her from her boyfriend, man. Would you guys marry a girl named Sunshine? Maybe. I would marry basically any girl with a girl. legs. I was asking my girlfriend these hypotheticals last night, and it was, it was like hypotheticals with very poor, like, very poor caveats.

Like what? Would you fuck Peter Dinklage if he was tall? Oh, that's a good caveat. Peter Dinklage is a good looking, man. Just stuff like that. And the height is not a problem for me. No, not for me either. If there's any little people that listen to this shit.

Your height is completely fine with me. I don't have been registered. I don't register high. I don't register most details about any person when I look at them. I look right through them and I think about what I'm going to dream about tonight. Big or tall? Nobody matters to me. No one at all.

You're all just talking about it. I'm looking up at the sky. Every single person in my vision looks like super hot. Yeah, my whole world looks like super hot. And I want to shatter you glass style and turn you in millions of bits of pieces. Oh, yeah. I want to slow-mo crouch down. throw my gun up in the air, spin around.

Damn, I want to play that game again. Grab the gun, shoot you, throw the gun back up. Y'all should come over and play VR this week. Dude, I want to play VR Super Hot so bad. Wait, we should do that. Oh, my God. Have you guys ever made you play my fishing game? No.

That I used to be addicted to. You used to be addicted to fishing in Korea. Really? Yeah. That's amazing. There's a Korean game, or at least it takes place in Korea. It's a VR game. They put you, it's a VR game.

and you can watch YouTube while you catch fish. Wow. And so I would put on videos of guys playing blackjack and I would play fishing until four in the morning every night. I've been seeing there's like people who are using, I think it's the new quest and it like has like a camera so you can like do your dishes and watch YouTube at the same time. That would change in my life.

You can't, you've never done that. No, but watching it on the headset. What do you mean? So every where I look, it's not a dish anymore. while you're watching dishes, bro. I'm looking down at the dishes. But everywhere I look, the video is still there.

No, it's different. It's a different vibe completely. They should do. You're picking up a plate and turning around to scrub it? What are you doing? Well, I'm turning to the rack to put it on the rack. They should do augmented reality games for chores. That should have made me get it done way faster on fucking on.

You have to kill the aliens that are on your bed by making it. No, please don't make the bad. Please. No. Get back in there. I would have, I would have like a cod zombies. It would be like Nazis in my house. And they'd be like, we are putting dust on his booksell.

Get the fuck out of you, get out of you damn, Nazi zombies. Nazi fucks. Who love dust? Stop. They're being in the bomb. He put crumbs all over in the microwave. That's what the game would be called dusty zombies. Yeah.

I do that, man. You do the dishes. It makes your vacuum cleaner shoot like bullets like a mini gun. Oh, my God. So you're like, dude, cat detected. Ron Jeremy put jizz all over your dishes and you've got to clean that shit off. That's good too. That can't be him.

Why? Can't be Ron Jeremy's jizz dishes channel. I want Ron Jeremy's jizz on my dishes way less than anybody else's jizz. Probably the worst jizz on earth. Yeah, it's the worst jizz that you want on plates. You got to give him money for his likeness. Do you need, if you're, can you use a prisoner's likeness? Well, no.

We just got to do a like kind of a knockoff and it'll be out, Jeremy Ron. Yeah, exactly. The guy's got two, the easiest name switch of all time, man. Jizz washer. Or we could just say, Jeremy Rhymes. It could be like an unnamed man's come who, you know, give all the details. That it's, that it's like Wolfenstein's future Nazis that just want.

They're making your house dirty. Whatever it is, they're just dirty in your house and trying to get you to. Or like, just a one really annoying guy who's like, I bet, I bet you can't vacuum the floors. I'll show you, you fucking stupid bitch. I bet you can't clean the toilet today. Suck my bullshit. Make me do it. One really, like, I have a permanent implanted chip in my brain where I see this guy every day of my life permanently.

The first thing I see when I wake up is him be like, I bet you can't go to the grocery store. I'll fucking show you. Fuck you. Fuck you. David. Look at you sitting on the couch instead of going to the grocery store. How would you shut it off though? You don't, man.

David Halt. If you can shut it off, you're never doing your choice, man. It has to be. And then you're reset when you wake up. It has to be roasting you too. And your girlfriend gets back. You're so bad at sex. Yeah, having it on while you fight harder.

That wouldn't make me come. Shut up, David. David, shut up. Who are you talking to? She doesn't know who you're talking to, but you have the headset on. You have the headset. You're talking to David. I think that this is a brilliant idea.

Yeah. I think that the thing is about everybody complains in, like, the big problem in Korea and Japan is that people play video games way too often, especially Korea. People play video games for like 24 hours straight. So we need to turn life into a video game. My life is like a video game. My video game is like my life. You got to try hard to beat the state. Trying hard to beat my wife.

Not like beat, but like a boss. Like in a boss sense. Yeah, like she's like trying hard to clean my knife. Oh yeah, exactly. When I am doing the dishes. Nats he's got the dust all over this. Ding. Trying hard to beat the girl.

Like in a boss, like boss. I know. You're resorting to beating. It's about what the song is about video games. Beating stuff. You're turning the song into a beating women song instead of it being. Well, yeah, it is about beating women, but about like in the terms of like Bowser. If I say I'm going to go home and beat Bowser, people don't freak out.

Yeah, exactly. They're not like, bro, you can't beat Bowser. Bowser is just an animal. Your wife's name is Bowser? No, man, Bowser's a big lizard. Our turtle, I mean. He's a turtle. He's a, I think he's a dragon.

He's a dragon. Yeah, dragon turtles. He's a dragon turtle. That's a dragon turtle. He's a dragon turtle. larger that is his species. And what's a cupa? A turtle. A type of cupa.

Cupa is not a type of cupa. That doesn't make any sense, bro. Golden Eminem. You're a poop. Take a break, Golden Eminem. Why don't we take a musical break? Time golden Eminem out. Why don't we take a musical break?

What do you mean? With a new song from O.J. the Alien. Oh, J. the alien. Damn, I can't wait to hear what OJ cooked up for the sun. Did OJ pop off this week? I think OJ might have popped off with... Wait, first of all, this album cover is crazy. fucking amazing.

He looks so happy. Where is he? The mall. The mall. Uh-huh. And the song is called O.J. The Alien, Sunshine of the Mall.

In the Sunshine of the Mall. Now that I'm thinking about it, that would have been such a good sample flip. But let's let's answer. It's O.J. the Alien. And I just want a goddamn court case, y'all. I'm going to the mall with Dr. Dazzle. We're about to go on a mail shopping spree.

O.J. The A. Lee and Dazzle are going to the mall. Going to get shoes and basketballs. We're going to play hoops with the sun. Oh, my God, it's lots of fun. I go to the mall in Beaverton. bought everything, but I'm not done. Gonna go to Best Buy. Look at all the Blu-Bays. Season two of happy days. We couldn't make that show nowadays. Most of the cast has passaways. Gonna buy some chips, barbecue, ways. Oh, my God, this mall's amaze. Wow, gonna buy my shoes at journeys

Rest in peace to Billy Mace Wow, I love the beat Number one TV commercial guy of all time Oh, Dr. Dazzal, it's your turn Can't be an ocean rolling up The luxurious cheese sits I make a B-line for Victoria's Secret They told me on this page

But I'm sure they didn't need it I got the crowd show Mark's glasses on And I'm dressed like I'm on safari The sun is a yellow dwarf like the stars of Alpha Centauri Finish looking at the mannequins And now it's down to business I'm a big dame hunter with a trophy wife on my wish list On the hot mic fell out to blast that wascarly wrap

A 12 gauge in my khaki jacket I'm going to back me up that bitch tax and burn me hurt by Put it up in my type of dad Oh I know it's a nasty You gotta kill him You think he'd be $6,000 I guess Dr. Dazzle

got a weird song to do the horror core this week Yeah Kind of a weird song to do the horror core angle on What? Wait, B-Lack's back B-Lack on this track OJ Dazzle B-Lack too Shopping, Sprin, then some food

Spencer's gifts and journey's shoes Three big of cards I got for you Ready to buy anything JCPenny wedding ring Sampling a chicken thing So much fun our day will bring Dazzle always tempting me Changing room where friends can see

Different flavors underwear Wow his thing has zero hair That was an epic fail Sneak a peek a peek go to jail Prison is where I belong Panging out all summer long If that's right y'all I spent all the money

That the court paid me On a shopping spree with my male friend This is the best day of my life I don't ever got to look at my dumb ass kid again OJ as a kid? Fuck you, Venus. Oh, I forgot. Yeah.

Peace. Wow. Wait, that was the posse cut of the summer, man. That was incredible. That might be a summertime classic. That was a summer hit. That was a summer hit. You're about to hear that.

Yeah. You're about to hear that on TikTok. I liked how it had to do with the sun. We need to get these OJ songs to pop on TikTok. Yeah, I think this one is the one that's going to pop on TikTok. I think that this has a serious potential for a TikTok sound as they call it up. I think we've got to speed it up so it's a little bit faster. The voices might be way too high, man.

Type. They already have high voices. You can just do change tempo on Audessie. All three of them have very high voices. You could change the tempo. Oh, true. And just make it go. And then, yeah, the thing could be like when I'm talking to a mouse.

When I'm talking to a mouse at the club. Or when a mouse is down to me. Mouse core. On two TikTok, they would say like mouse core. I wouldn't be like what I'm talking about it would be like mouse core though too this core core X mouse core this core crap they got going on on these

fucking apps is driving me out of my mind I know I can't stand it bro they got this one they got this one with the blade runner guys yeah or the guy what's that robot core it's called core core core core it's called what yeah and it's basically what if you had a thought about how sad your life was what if life

was truly banal wait what are you talking about basically life is but dude you wouldn't get it because life is nothing man. Uh-huh. Which is about the banality of life. Core, core, core, core.

Cor core. Pull up core core. Pull up a core. I don't want to see a core core. No, you want to see this shit. No, I don't, you do, man. This is what Gen Z is doing.

Gen Z is now called the Dumer Generation. Please, dude. No. Because of this stuff. Not the Dumer Generation. It's pretty much the Dumer Generation. I choose life. And it's about men's mental health.

I choose fucking life, man. I don't want this shit. I'm so interested in an analyzing Gen Z's psychology. Wait, no, just Google. Why are you going to TikTok to find it? Google Corcor. Oh, what the hell?

This is what came up. And we want a YouTube video, bro. Yeah, we should probably just look up a YouTube clip of CoreCore, but. It's not the same thing. TikTok and YouTube are different, bro. That's true. It's not, but it's so fucking

the best core core experience. It's, whoa, dude. Okay, this is TD Bank Corps, I guess. So, Parker. Wait, that's a great ass song. When we run into it. What? Jimmy Fallon.

Wow. But he's crying. That's why I meant. That's all the good things that happened since. Corkor is about touching each other in front of Jimmy Fallon. Then I get to the end of my life. Bro. This is Corcor,

Jimmy Fallon and Theo Vaughn? I guess. I thought it was like Blade Runner. I won. Was being alone. Wow. And kind of low-fice at the music. Is that Tommy Shelby?

Tommy Shelby vibes. I'm tearing up a little bit. This is already so sad. And not only did I miss out, could I miss out on caring about people? No. Theo, please God. I missed out on feeling probably a lot of the love that people had for me. Bro, Pagliacci vibes.

The same clown. Wait, is that though? Who's this? Is this from olden times? This core? It's from an underwear commercial. Yeah. what helicopter's landing

I really feel like we don't Why are it all comedian Because the sad clown aspect Okay we don't need to be watching this man I don't need to watch any more Wait we should just make Wait let's make some core core right now Yeah we need to cut between us

Look up core core background music Yeah we need a core core background song This is about to be This is gonna pop in a fucking crazy way No it is that song by Duster Yeah Stratosphere or whatever Yeah

Duster Spheres is good. Or like a fucking Giles Corey song or something. Yeah. Wait, this is about to go crazy. I guess the album. All right, Patrick. Wait, no, don't pick this one.

What is that one? Scroll down because this is the full album. You can just go to the timestamps. No, go up. Just play this. Okay, this is good. You look lonely. I can fix that one hour loop.

You look lonely. Okay. So then it's like slow fade in on, on me right sometimes it feels like in the modern era we're so disconnected from all the different connections that we could have and also it feels like the food at restaurants isn't as good as it used to be and the music has gotten louder look up the sound wars okay now cut to one of these Cameron? Oh, me?

I thought you were going to pat. A sandwich I ate the other day gave me in digestion so bad that my whole chest felt like it was jumping out of my chest. I feel like I can't even eat turkey ham anymore without the nitrates going into my system and just totally bubbling me. I feel like I got bubbles in my stomach and chest almost every day I wake up. Walk into the train station, I feel this Grog, grog, grog, grop, grop, grop, grop. I shouldn't eat in that turkey or that ham, man, or the turkey ham. This stuff is destroying our men and our women.

I've developed. I've developed. Men usually eat more cold cuts than women. On average. On average, okay. I've developed an adult gluten allergy. I never thought it would happen to me. But here I am.

Close to 27 years old. And the only bread that I can eat is sourdough. sourdough is good for breakfast and it's good for sandwiches but I can't eat Hawaiian rolls anymore which is one of my favorite savory breads just the other day man I was cleaning out my humidifier

it had a heavy mineral scanning scaling mineral scales were collecting onto the humidifier's heating element I soaked it in a solution of vinegar and water for about 15 to 20 minutes and I started to scrub it with a soft brush so as not to damage the element and I was rinsing the brush

under the sink so I wouldn't just have vinegar residue and minerals in it. I flicked back the bristle. The vinegar shot straight into my eye. And you know, when you think about how men are treated in society nowadays, every single, the way that women make us feel is like we always have to act like Howie Mandel. We always got to be thinking about putting a rubber glove on our heads and, doing Bobby's World Impressions and talking like Gizmo.

But I don't know if I can be Howie Mandel every day. I don't know if I can make a deal or no deal. I don't know if I can be the host of America's Got Talent like that. I don't know if I could have a podcast where I talk to celebrities like David Spade and ask them about stuff that happened 20 years ago. Man, Hollywood has failed us. Chicken Run 2. Donna the Nugget will not be showing in theaters straight to street.

streaming, Netflix, lose out on billions of dollars at box office, can't watch Netflix, girlfriend's grandma watches it every day, locks us out of the account. I feel like, what's life worth living if I can't watch the crown? The killer. And I'd be sitting in my room just thinking to myself, the way that society right now is treating these Marvel movies is terrible. They tried to set up a new, entirely new franchise type thing with Kang and, Paul Rudd is the ant man, and

it's like nobody even wants to watch it anymore. It's like nobody even is, everyone is just confused, but there's hours of lore that you can look into. The Oragnarok. I thought that was the funniest fucking movie I've ever seen my fucking life. Yesterday, I spent about an hour and a half downloading every

Fantastic Four comic ever published on my hard drive. About 40 gigabytes. Holy crap. Go to copy it onto my iPad. Select all the files. Drag him into the iPad on the finder interface. What do I see?

No progress bar. Impossible to tell how long it's going to take. If the copying is stalled, ended up having to use AirDrop. AirDroped 40 gigabytes of PDFs. It took me quite a long time. It made me pretty much of that. What is it?

Is it Bluetooth? Is it Wi-Fi? I never learned. It's something completely different. It doesn't affect it. It doesn't compress files at all or affect their quality, so it's actually ideal when transferring files from a Mac to an iPad. And these women nowadays,

They want you to do all these kind of new type of sexual things, like eating the butt from the back. They want you to put you there. Let me eat it from the front. Let me eat the butt from the front. Let me eat the butt from the front. I don't like the back. All these girls want you to do doggy style nowadays. So it's just normal missionary.

Instead of normal missionary. Girl, I want to look into your eyes. I want to look at you. I want to have a real connection. The doggy style, also your butt cheeks are too big and the cushion is really whittling down my length. completely honest. Nowadays, women would rather start off only fans that go with a guy into the costume store and try in different

costumes and have a kind of makeover montage. Nowadays, what happened to montages, man? What happened to montages? Men don't get makeover montages anymore. You used to be able to, now they make these flushable wipes, I use them

40,000 probably wipes over the course of a couple months. I use about 10 wipes per butt cheek. Every single time I take a shit. Get a call for my landlord. You're bubbling, disgusting crap is coming out of my sink downstairs. Have you been using wipes? I say, yeah, they're flushable.

He says, that's an oxymoron. There's no such thing as flushable wipes. I said, what about dude wipes? He said, dude wipes, not even flushable now. We have fully extincted the spotted lantern fly. Mm-hmm. Why? We sit around, we tell each other, you know, you see a spotted lantern fly, you stomp it.

they're gone man they're not coming back that's our fault with the stress that men have nowadays it's it's like it's like jizz is depleting it's like men don't even have enough there's stress that men are going through it's like they can't even develop jiz nowadays men don't even produce a leader of jiz or they don't even nowadays men only produce a tablespoon of jiz when they do develop it when they do develop it it's spongy and yellow exactly because they're depleting because of our zinc, because zinc is depleting from the American diet. The society, society laughs and jeers at men nowadays who are the golden M&M. Mm-hmm.

It's not accepted to be a golden M&M. Nowadays, your boss shows up to work, dressed up like Slowpoke Rodriguez, and says, that's you. Mm-hmm. That's you. You look like Slow-Poke Rodriguez. You look and act like Slow-Poke Rodriguez. They haven't yet invented a haircut that can make your hair longer. Wait, that was actually, why did that put me in the worst mood I've ever been in my life?

Why did that make me feel so fucking awful, man? Wait, life is over. I don't want to fucking die. God, no. Was that like eight minutes that we just did of that? That's how I would feel of the sun exploded. I could do a full episode of that. I really felt kind of crazy.

Being in that zone, we were on some magic. I was trying to think of what is even, the thing is, my life's amazing. I want to be real. And I don't believe any of that shit. So when I'm in that zone, it's something. Wait, so we got to do something Sunthave. Search happy music one hour. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Wait,

SunCore. Happy Core. SunCore. Sunshine Corps. You heard of core core, now there's sunshine. Now we're going to do the opposite. We're going to talk about what's so lovely. What's amazing. Search just happy music background. Walking on Sunshine Instrumental.

We're creating Sunshine. Walking on Sunshine Instrumental. Happiest song ever. That's too. Yeah, do walking on sunshine instrumental. Walking on Sunshine Instrumental will be good because imagine just saying amazing things over this. Yeah, this is what life is really like.

We just did what the Dumer generation thinks life is like. Now it's time for the millennials. Mm-hmm. Guys, this morning, I jumped up out of bed. I didn't brush my teeth until later because I didn't want to brush them before breakfast and my breakfast tasted amazing. You guys, men have been, jizz and men has been,

Depleting. Nowadays, increasing. Let's do happy stuff. Well, yeah, but what if that's a good thing? My birthday's number one next year. My birthday's 111. Ooh, my birthday is 113 on the luckiness scale. My friend is in time from Mexico, and I love him even though he lied. Nowadays, you can be a golden M&M.

They show you the Golden M&M store. It's a true thing. My favorite restaurant, closed for renovations, and guys, Two days ago, they reopened. I finished my fruits and vegetables puzzle the other day, and I left the last piece for my girlfriend, and I got to see the happiness on her face as she put it in. Wow.

I got a new soap for the shower, and guess what it smells like? It smells like apple matcha. Actually, I've been using my girlfriend's soap in the shower. I washed the sheets that Julio slept on, and now they don't smell. My dog had fleas, and then we gave a medicine. Wow. I took medicine the other day. Allergy medicine, and it helped. My cat has been doing a new thing where he does a wall run.

I pull the string on the wall, and then he runs on the wall after the string. I can fly. The graphics on video games gets better every year. The electrician that, actually, never mind that sad, the electrician that's working on my apartment currently, his dad almost passed away from COVID. There will be no more war in the United States. The war's over! Yay!

The McRib is back at McDonald's this month. I got to see my favorite color when I looked at my closet. Today I dressed up like a lion. Last night, I had sushi. Me too, but a different sushi. It was worse, but I still liked it. I had clam chowder for dinner last night. And my girlfriend got it for me from her work.

And I looked at the ingredients for it, and the clam chowder actually had coconut milk in it. And that made me upset. But the fact that my girlfriend got me clam chowder was awesome. This year, my mom told me for Christmas, she's going to buy me alcohol. Whoa. I got to try to do drink last night. It's water with ice. Last night, I ordered a cocktail at a bar, and it came with a rim made of chocolate.

My toilet rim ain't stained. I did all my chores in the house. Me too. And every single one of my chores is pretty easy. I'm considering buying a new air friar. I got 500 likes. I'm just kidding. That would be amazing.

I'm imagining 500 likes on Cameron's picture. Me too. Oh yeah. Go Cameron. Nice post cam. My teeth haven't fallen out yet. Never will. The IRS sent me a letter.

Then I ignored it. I also ignored a letter from the IRS and a letter from Con Ed. It's Cyber Monday today, y'all. Wee! The deals are abound. My student loans are destroying me. No, we're not. Me too. Until they review my plan, my plan that I applied for. What's your

plan? My income-based repayment plan. I'm letting a lot of things go to collections. Yep. Yippee! I have no medical problems I'm aware of at the moment. But that could change. My mom? The fade out is scary about that one. Played again. No, I think my mom said I might have a rare heart condition. Really?

What did she say? I don't remember. She said, you love too much. You have a rare heart condition. It says here on your chart. I've been looking over the test results. It says you love too hard. So the both of those are going to go viral on TikTok.

Everyone, I just, everyone, basically everyone who listened or watched that, everybody take a turn and split up each one of our things into a different video. Everyone just take one and post it on your own account. So it looks like it's coming from everywhere. So it looks like a core, core compilation. Yeah, core, and what are we going to call the nice one? Sunshine core. Sunshine core.

Sean Corps. Core, core, core. Sun core. Suncor is good. Sunshine core. Neighbor's sun core. What's the opposite of the core? The outer, the mantle.

Mantle core. Mantle core. Crest core. Oh, Mantle core. That's a mythical creature. There we go. We'll do that. All right.

All right. Well, come see us on December 10th at the bellhouse with Girl God. Oh, yeah. And Joe Perra and some other people that I don't remember right now. I'm in my Joe Perra. Nice. Cool. The next premium episode

will be the moon. It will be the last episode of the five weeks of planets. I don't want it to end. If you're not signed up for the for the premium stuff, you're missing on a lot of stuff. You missed out on Thanksgiving this year

if you didn't sign up for the premium. You missed out on our Thanksgiving play. It is not getting unlocked, bro. There's a Thanksgiving play in the shareholders tier, the executive producers tier. And we might be doing some more plays.

We might do another. original play for Christmas. I think that does... That's it. Everyone wished Julio was safe flight that nothing happens

and I'm gone. I'm home. Find me in Mexico. Wait, that was amazing. Wow. All right. Bye everybody. Bye.

This is the story of Neptune. A planet report by Cameron Fetter. Once upon a time, 30 astronomical units away from the sun, there was a blue

an icy planet named Neptune. One orbit, Neptune woke up and felt depressed. What makes me special? Asked Neptune. I feel so average. Don't worry, Neptune, said the sun. You're very special. For example, you're an ice giant.

Your distance from me means that you're dark and cold, covered by frozen icy materials. Big whoop, replied Neptune. That doesn't make me unique. Uranus is an ice giant as well. Well, maybe your surface doesn't matter. It's what you're like on the inside that counts. You have a rocky core, the sun said.

Yeah, right. So does Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Uranus, and probably Jupiter and Saturn, too. I knew I wasn't special. You're just making me feel worse. I think I'm going to kill myself. No. And Neptune opened its desk drawer with its hand, where it kept its revolver and used, its hand to put the gun to its atmosphere.

No. I'm done doing this with you, screamed the sun in anguish. It seems like every rotation you threaten to kill yourself. You think you have it bad? Look at Pluto. The poor guy isn't even a planet anymore. Even my suffering isn't unique, sighed Neptune. I think I get it now.

I was so concerned with being special, but what's actually special is that I'm so similar to everyone else in my solar system. It's about togetherness and family. That's right, said the sun. I'm glad you came around when I'm coming around the sun. Yeah. I'm coming around me, I mean, the me, the me. Let's eat.

And the planets all started in on their Thanksgiving dinner. Moral. The moral of the story. Okay. There is nothing interesting about Neptune. Oh! We're going to be able to be. We're going to be able to be.

...he... ...now... ...their... ...the... ...the... ...the... ...you know... We're going to be able to be.

You know, I'm going to be able to be. It's...