Podcast About List - Ep. 299 - Two P's In A Podcast ft. Pierce

Episode Date: July 17, 2024

Caleb and Cam are both out of town, so Patrick and Pierce have taken it upon themselves to start a brand new podcast called "Two P's In A Podcast" to discuss all things current and not current. Enjoy this last episode of "Two P's In A Podcast" and subscribe to our YouTube channel to catch the 12-hour long 300th episode next week LIVE! Subscribe to us on YouTube youtube.com/@PodcastAboutList Buy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

Hello, everyone. This is Juvio of Podcast About List, Moving Mondays, and Beers We Drank Fame. As you may all know, next week, we will be releasing our 300th episode of Podcast About List. So to celebrate this momentous occasion, we will be doing the first ever live 12-hour podcast about List podcast episode. It will be live stream on our YouTube channel on July 24th at 12 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. See you then. I love you. Welcome to Two Peas on a Pod with Patrick and Pierce. I'm your host, Patrick. And I'm your co-host, as always, Pierce.

Wow. We've got an incredible show for you today. Today, we're going to be discussing a lot of world events, and we'll even have a funny list that we're going to freak down. That's awesome. So, Patrick, as part of the... the show, we'd do a little bit of housekeeping at the beginning, as you know. Yeah. And this is separate from the actual content of the show, which is when we dive into

world events. Yeah. So as part of housekeeping and just sort of like little banter to get our listeners in the mood, what was your favorite piece of news that happened? This weekend? Yeah. But be careful. Be careful not to step on the action, again, be careful not to step on the content of the show, which is when we talk about current events. Okay. So my favorite news of the weekend that had nothing to do with current events. Interesting. I don't know. I'll start.

Donald Trump almost got shot in the head. Wait, that's current events, though. No, no, no, no. Oh, it is? Yeah. I would say that's current events. People are, okay. I saw it on my phone.

Oh, if you saw it on your phone. I saw it on my phone and it spoke to me. I actually, did I tell you how I saw it? No. I was getting two tall boys at a bodega for like date night. B-Y-O-B at a dumpling place, and I'm checking out, and the woman who's helping me, she goes, look behind you. I just look behind me.

I see the TV, and Donald Trump is giving a speech, and I'm like, oh, yeah, Donald Trump. Yeah. Fuck him. Yeah, ah, the rats. She's like, I hate this orange bastard. I, yeah, I said, bastardo naranha. She said, no, look, they try to kill them. Trump and then I look and I see like the Secret Service and I'm like oh yeah I mean yeah I don't know

if you remember like in 2016 someone yanked on his pant leg while he was giving a speech and he was oh yeah and I was like so I was positive I was like oh it's another pant leg yank yeah you told the lady that yeah I was like oh it's just another pant leg yank this happens presidents get yanked their pants get I don't think I don't think someone tried I don't think they tried to kill Donald Trump yeah and she was like no look they tried to kill him And then I look and I see him do this and I'm like, oh, fuck. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, and then she was like, yes, look.

It is so bizarre. He is in Pennsylvania. That's the crazy part. The end of the tales that he's in Pennsylvania. Yeah. Look! They tried to kill him in Pennsylvania. And I was like, yeah, it's pretty wild.

That is wild. I mean, it really has like, I mean, genuinely already don't care about it. Yeah. I already don't give a shit. It's just not that funny. No. I mean, I guess. It's not even, like, it's not even because it was funny.

Like, I'm just not interested in crooks. Yeah. But. No, he's boring. He's fucking boring. He's giving major co-worker energy. Yeah. He's the co-worker shooter.

He's the only co-worker shooter. He's the fucking coworker shooter. He's not like one of these real guys like Paddock. No. Having to remember who Paddock is. No, Paddock was, I think Paddock was customer. Yeah. Yeah, Paddock's the guy that comes in and tells, like, you know.

He's the regular at the casino. Oh, yeah, you know. This is a pretty interesting. Oh, this, this song's pretty good. Have you ever heard of this? Yeah. What will it be today, Steve? This song's pretty interesting.

Why does no one think my taste in music is interesting? I was saying, like, like, a customer comes, like, there's co-worker, but then there's customer. Stephen Paddock is the kind of guy who says, Hey, have you heard the new Keshah? Yeah. Is there a new Keshah? Have you?

Have I heard it? Joyride. Yeah? It's pretty tight. But that's why Paddock shot up a whatever it was, country music festival. He likes Keshah so much. Nice.

It was Kesh's fault. She radicalized Patic. Yeah, the, it's crazy. I think that they only shot Krooks once. Yeah. When I saw a picture and he looked like a dead gosson. I mean... Look at his head.

It wasn't hard to miss. Yeah. He had that big Habsburg jaw. Yeah, he's got a body like me. I bet like, yeah, one bullet through the top of his head. It goes all the way through his ankle. It still has, like, still has enough velocity to kill two toddlers. Yeah, he's just got tissuey, tissuey body.

Yeah, it's so funny to watch him just crawling on the roof and just like, there's a man. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that video, the guy, the guy post. There's like that one video where it's like a guy. being interviewed after and he's wearing like the biggest like maga visor

oh yeah with the fake hair with the fake hair yeah like I was like watching that clip and I got so distracted by the hat because I was like that fucking the bill on that hat

is so long yeah I like fully forgot that he's like talking about like like an attempted assassination yeah well he really

no one has anything interesting to say about no any of it is just like we saw that there was a guy acting weird it's like it's actually it's actually not a crime to even be on a roof yeah yeah if you're ugly and you're on a roof technically the police don't have to do anything we all were shouting about the ugly sky we've ever seen wiggling on a roof it's not even like they were like

really trying to get attention just like luck oh my god like barely using their barely using their outside voice. During a rally, there's like huge speakers mounted on cranes. The story was that those people that saw him on that were like coming back from hanging out in the woods. They were tailgating the Trump rally. Yeah. That's so awesome. Just like in the woods. Yeah, I didn't even, I didn't even want to see the speech. Yeah, I mean, I'm from Pennsylvania and it's for kind of, yeah, you'll have a friend group that's like, I guess we should, we should. We should. should hang out. There's an event, but let's not, let's not go into the crowd. Let's just watch it from the woods. Yeah, let's go. Let's go start a little fire. That's someone's idea and then

it's like, like, no one can commit. They're just like, ah, should we just wander over to it? It's like, no, you said we were going to hang out in the woods. Hanging out in the woods, like, while there's a huge rally going on too is like so fucking stupid. Yeah. Why are you doing that? In Pennsylvania, it's like breathing. It's like you're either, it's every day is about kind of wandering into the, and it's not even a real woods. It's like every woods is just like, there's trees in your neighborhood. Yeah.

And the thing to do in Pennsylvania is going in and out of the woods. Yeah. You make, you put a couple chairs down, you just go in and out, you go back and forth to the chairs. That's right. It's either I'm going to go into the house and walk past my other chairs or I'm going to go to the woods where there's more chair. out there.

Yeah. Your attention span allows for like one run of special features on a DVD or flipping over five rocks to see

worms. Yeah. Once you hit your worm limit you're going to watch a gag reel. We're watching a blooper reel

so the Three Stooges movie from 2012. Yeah. We're watching. Yeah. We have Shrek 2 and Spider-Man 1.

These are your too james and and we've flipped the rocks but we don't flip them back over yeah no no the rock stain you see all that brown like the stain the brown stain on the bottom of the rock you're just gonna see that forever yeah and no one has the no one has the patience to make a time capsule it's all about flipping a rock leaving it and then letting the ecosystem reset around that rock so that a new colony of critters will be under there oh i remember that right remember when he flipped that rock yeah he walked by it every day like yeah that's the fucking rock I flipped yeah Should we go flip another rock?

Nah. Nah, Spider-Man. Nah. Let's watch Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah. Oh, you got it?

Yeah, dude. Yeah. You couldn't play videos on a GameCube, right? I mean, you could. If you had the Star Wars lightsaber battle game, you could watch clips of episode three. Yeah, I think so.

I think in, yeah, the Revenge of the Sith game, maybe they had it. But I think that's the only video clip I remember watching on a game. I had this game called the Ribbit King Plus, and it came with a bonus disc that just had, like, commercials for the game that were in Japan. It's so funny how you can get yourself to watch that so many.

You're just like, well, I've never really seen... Yeah, I haven't. I mean, I have the disc. I might as well go through and watch every single commercial spot for Ribbett King. I just, I mean, I just got Giver one, this movie that Cameron and I like. Oh, yeah. You guys have shown me Giver. Yeah.

Um, it's got Mark Hamill in it, but it's just like, it's like a really stupid, almost like a children's movie about like, uh, like, it's like power Rangers level, but there's also extreme body horror in it. Yeah. For no reason. Like Mark Hamill has, he like becomes a bug and his head is like sliding out of a bug and he they make him like wear this process. They don't even use an animatronic that like make him have this weird rubber mandible thing in his mouth and he's just like, oh, covered in slime. And then he dies. Isn't this like only available on like YouTube? There's never been like a physical release. So they just they just remastered it and I got it and there's special features. And I like, so I watch the movie and then I'm like, now I'm just watching special features. Yeah. And I'm watching, you know, alternate title sequence.

It's the exact same title sequence. The font is different. In Europe they called the movie Mutronics instead of Giverr. Oh, that's a better name. I know. It's so much better. That's so good. And like I think it was advertised more.

There's one rapping. Mutant in the movie and so the every trailer just like it's basically called the rapping mutant Yeah, they really do give him star power in the movie for no reason, but yeah, so the alternate title sequence, it's just everything is the exact same except it's it's trimmed for 4-3 for TV. You already watch this movie in the 4K Restoration now you're watching a six-minute scene the six-minute scene that leads to the opening credits which is like a Terminator the Terminator theme like a rip-off of that. with like, you know, the scanning letters.

Yeah, you guys showed me the Giver intro for something. I've seen the Giver intro a bunch of... I think the anime intro, I think when we were writing the... Yeah, yeah. But, and then instead of saying Giver, it says Mutronics. That makes it into the special features. I watched it twice. I kept trying to fast forward past the six minutes of lead up to the title sequence.

And I keep... I fuck it up on the PS5. This is the stupidest story ever. I keep fucking it up on the PS5 controller. I'm going from 30x to 120x. I miss it. I watch again, I miss it, I watch again, I miss it, and then I finally get to it.

It just says mutronics instead of God. I burned like 20 minutes on special features, just trying to see the word. This is what you're doing immediately before you went to the bodega and saw the Trump news. This was this morning. This morning? This is what you were doing before. This is what I texted you and said.

Hey, do you want to come on? Caleb and Cam aren't here. Yeah, I'm like negotiating. I'm like, uh, when? Yeah, I'm a little busy this morning. My girlfriend walks in and I'm watching the, you know how sometimes special features? Just have a slideshow.

Yeah. But the slideshow is just on, like it's a video clip. It's one picture, right? Yeah, but it's not the kind of thing where, like, on Laserdisc or whatever, sometimes you can advance through the pictures, but on this one,

it's just like, it's one still at a time. Oh, yeah. And then in the middle of it, they just have like a double-spaced essay written by the filmmakers. Just like, we really wanted to make this movie. And then we did. It's like eight pages of them talking about how they successfully made it.

Yeah. And it's, yeah, she wakes up and she watches me watch it. And she's like, this is so, what are you doing? You could just be on the internet. Yeah, you could be reading something else. You could be reading Jack Black's letter to the fans. Right. So insane.

I did like genuinely get me. mad. I was like... Yeah, I know. I read it and I was like, this is fucking shit, man. Yeah. This is fucking bullshit. Why? Why is it bullshit? I know what you mean, but I'm wondering, what is it about Jack Black saying that we're canceled into the tour that is so unexpected?

We just keep doing it. Just keep doing the tour. I guess what you should do is pretend that it didn't happen. Yeah. You don't need to do this whole PR thing. Like, maybe they're just worried about ticket sales. Right. Like you shouldn't say... You were going to get deported. Yeah. They were going to get deported, but I mean, yeah, get deported and then go to the fucking next country on the door. Yeah. Do you have, okay, you just gave yourself three days off and you're putting out this big statement?

Yeah. You gave yourself fucking three days off. You could be like, oh, I'm in Australia. Where else could I go? Oh, I could go to this other fucking island over here. Right. Right, Arthur. I could go to New Zealand for a little bit.

Yeah. Australia was where you went. And if you were in the British colonies... Yeah, that was it. It was a prison. Right. So that's where you went if you said something like, I'm going to kill me a president. No.

You are going to the weird island. So then you're on the weird island, you say, all right, I'm going to kill me a prime minister. Then they send you to... It's just... It's overflowing with other weird islands. Yeah. Yeah.

Just send you over there. Yeah. Just send you to it. Yeah. When Australia threatens to deport an American, they just say, to put you on a boat. Yeah, we're going to put you away.

Yeah. We're going to send you somewhere else. Yeah. You will land on another island. Yeah. Full of. Like, getting deported from us or getting imported from anywhere is like who fucking gives a shit.

Oh, I'll just go somewhere else. Oh, go. You will have to go to another place. Yeah. There'll be people there. Yeah, there'll be people. and you'll have to adjust to a new life. Yeah, you'll have to eat new food.

Oh, and you're not going to know the beer. You're going to have to learn Celsius. You fuck, hey, get ready to learn Celsius. Oh, yeah. And you're going to have to root for new teams. Yeah, the Toronto Argonauts. Good luck learning about all that shit. Oh, no.

Your brain can't even fathom pinball Clemens. What is that? That's a player for the Toronto Argonauts. Right. Yeah, see? I actually would hate it. See? You can't, I said, you bring your brain.

wouldn't even fathom him. Yeah. But I guess it would. I was forced to. If I told you in one second after I said his name. He gets deported. Oh. I have no country.

What are I going to do? No, it's fine. Yeah. I mean, I feel like deportation. I mean, unless you're going back to like a war-torn country or... Right. But how often does that... that happened. Oh my guy. I bet not a lot. Yeah. I bet not a lot. No. No way. Um, well, what else? What else

happened? What else happened in the news this week? I mean, literally the only thing was Trump getting shot. Yeah. But he got shot. There was a piece of glass that they, like... That's fake. That's fake. It's so funny. People are like just trying to just say that this is the coolest thing that's happened in a long time. Just like, it wasn't cool because actually the bullet, he bled for a reason that wasn't cool it's like it's the what do they say they say the teleprompter fracture something like that teleprompter is completely normal in every

picture the teleprompter is there it's cool well it was a little cool I did watch it and I was like oh yeah I just I just don't I don't think I like seeing people get shot

I don't think I like that yeah but don't you everyone feels that way but I think that some Some people don't. No, that's true. Some people are liens. Kyle gas. But Donald Trump was trying to tell the Patrick Dorans of the world, it's okay, baby.

The little fist bump. He raised his fist to tell you, except actually, sometimes it's fine when someone gets shot. It's okay. It's cool. It's cool, man. And now I know it's cool because of the fist bump. Right. Now I know it's completely cool.

I think it would be really, really, I don't think anyone could replicate it. could replicate. I sometimes I think, why don't people get crucified anymore? Like... Well, because it's illegal. No, I... Well, not everywhere, actually. Really? Yeah, I think in Saudi Arabia, people still get crucified, but we just don't

hear about it. I mean, people get their heads cut off. Literally, people get their heads cut off. Yeah. But, um, I was wondering why if you're like a really devout Christian, wouldn't you want to just be like, you know what, I'm going to do it? I'm going to do the whole passion, the whole scourge. Oh, yeah. Okay. So like

the like the same way that people like walk up the like 110 flights of stairs for like the first responders. Yeah, exactly. Doing that but for Christ. It's so, people love Christ so why not just do the whole thing, do the whole shabre? People light themselves on fire for all kinds of

causes. So I mean, it's so like and also it's kind of like hack to let yourself on fire. It's like every time you do it it's like you know you're just ripping off the last guy who have done that, right? Fucking copycat. Yeah. So if you're going to be a copycat anyway, why not copycat the most famous political death in human history.

You know what? You know what the problem with that is? You need some Roman soldiers to help you out. I know. Yeah, well, that's the other thing. You can't really do it yourself. So anyway, I researched this. There was an Italian guy who tried crucifying himself

out of his window. He tried it like three times. I think he like hung up a little fisherman's net and like tied his arms to a board and then like hopped into the net that was dangling from his window. People kept rescuing him. Yeah.

So he couldn't, he was trying to die, but he kept getting rescued. What do you mean he like? Well, there's no, he needed to be suspended, right? Yeah. So that's what the net was for. The net was to catch him when he went out of his window. Oh, okay. So this was, this is a thing.

Oh, okay. And yeah, apparently. When you said that, I thought that this happened in like 1990. I think this was in the 1800s or 1700s. So anyway, check this out. There are some people in the Philippines who crucify themselves every good Friday. and there's one guy who's been doing it every year for the last 35 years.

They sterilize nails and then he gets the nails driven through his hands. They have red ribbons that keep his arms up so that his arms don't actually slide through the nails. But he's been doing it every... He took one year off for COVID. He does it every 35 years. And every time he does it, he says,

I would really like it if someone took my place. I don't want to do this anymore. And everyone says, you don't have to do it anymore. And he says, oh, come on. Someone's got to. If I'm not doing it, someone else has to. But I was talking to Caleb, I would really like to take, I don't speak Filipino. I just fly down there every good Friday.

I'm like, all right, let's put it through my hands. But he only does it. I think he's pretty old now. He's like, doing a set before. Yeah. So I know. I look like Filipino. Jesus.

I look like Jesus's Bodega guy. Anyway. All right, let's get this done. What else? Yeah. It's crazy. There's pictures of like the hill and it's not just him.

Imagine the nut Adam Curtis would have busted if he, did it during COVID with the mask on and everything. Oh my God. You're so right. It would have been so, that would the next like whatever movie's working on just that's the DVD cover that have been so crazy. And like, I mean they, there's a sort

of like, there's like a parade aspect to it. Like the crosses aren't like really you know, they look like fake cross. Everything looks fake except they are getting real nails driven. Using foam. Everything kind of looks. It's like technicolor. It looks and there's like tents for

the spectators who are all, like, recording it on their phones or whatever. Yeah, going live on Instagram. Yeah, so it looks like a Renfair crucifixion, but people actually are. But it's real, like, yeah. So he's basically just doing sword swallowing. Yeah, in a way, yeah. I mean, there's no way you can continue using your hands fully after getting nails driven in every year, even if it's a five minutes.

No, I mean, you're fucking, maybe he's, maybe this guy's a fucking liar. Yeah. Maybe these are prop things. The other thing about the assassination attempt is just like, it's staged. It's like, okay, so if it was staged, that means that two things are possible, which is that no one told Trump that they were going to do this and that they had the most highly skilled sniper of all time shoot a piece of his ear off without trying to kill him, or that Trump was in on it.

And if Trump was in on it, that means one of two things, that they said, you have to do this. You have no choice. If you don't, if you don't rub your ear with fake blood, we actually are going to kill. you so you have to want to do it or he said I want to do this I want to get shot yeah I want to get shot in front of everyone like Teddy Roosevelt it was a Teddy Roosevelt or uh Andrew Jackson which one I think it was Roosevelt that got shot in front of everyone but if Trump wanted to do it that means that he completely lost control over the staging of it because he looks a little bit like an idiot for most of it like this is cool obviously yeah but like oh this doesn't really

not look great. There is a video I saw it's like him talking to RFK like somebody is like recording RFK on speakerphone with Trump and I guess Trump like referred to it as like the worst mosquito bite in the world I think I just read that his favorite

song is that all there is is is that all there is you know that song it's like this woman is like I watched my house burned down as a kid and then when the when the fire was over who sings this? Betty Peggy Betty. Betty White. Peggy Lee sings it. It's a really good song. So her house burns that, it's like, she just describes like peak experiences, like the most magnificent or horrible things that could happen to someone. And then she asks, but is really that, is that all there is? Nothing else? Like, your house burns down and then there's smoke and it smolders.

Did he, like, walk out to that at the R&C or whatever? I think it's just privately his favorite song in the same way that like Katz is his favorite movie or whatever. It's so funny imagining him listening to music at all. I know. That video of him listening to Blank Space, like, I, you see that and it's like, oh, yeah, he's only listening to that because, like, it's on. Like, that's like, like, oh, yeah, this is on, like, the, like, popular radio station. Well, I mean, I've completely 100% come around to seeing why he might be the coolest guy. Yeah. Like, I mean, say what you will about, like, a narcissistic personality disorder or a dictator or a, or a, yeah, just an evil guy. He just lives so hard Just like whatever's happening

He's just like let's just fucking drink Coke And eat burgers and drive And listen to the whatever's on And yeah Just groove Yeah If he wasn't doing all this It would have it would be

If he wasn't you know Running for president I know but honestly good for him That fucking video of him on Wendy Williams Yeah So sick He just does he does He lives correctly

You could be president If you really put your mind to it You're just you're just afraid Yeah He's not afraid Well, I'm also not old enough. Right. What I mean is you can sort of sow the seeds now.

You could host like a popular... You could be the host of a popular sort of entertainment IP. If you wanted to, Patrick. You could be like, I don't know, you could have a substantial internet following. You could sort of plant the seeds that would eventually lead you to be um okay yeah i see what you're saying now like a jd vance right yeah you could be close to political office yeah like you patrick if you want it to be you could be like a sort of a riszed up entertainer someone who is in not even necessarily like the mainstream public conscious but

does that even exist anymore i don't know if you're going to get water cooler superstars but you could patrick if you wanted to you could be kind of popular among i don't know zoomers, Twitter users. Interesting. Yeah. And eventually you could parlay that into being the president. Into being the president of the United States. Yeah. But the reason you won't is because you're too ashamed. Whereas Donald Trump...

Well, he's not. Yeah. He's cool. Whereas he's kind of cool. Yeah. It would be so awesome if he drank and smoke, man. Dude, if he did, that's so, what, his, like, brother died from, like, drinking too much. Yeah. Pussy. Yeah.

If his brother didn't die, if his brother was just, like... Around? Good at drinking. Yeah. His brother wasn't... How do you fucking... What did he, like, drink too much and then, like, fall and hit his head, or did he die from, like, liver failure? I don't know.

He must have died in some embarrassing way. Yeah. I think if you just drive... Well, Trump is the kind of... guy to be like, I would never get liver failure. I would never, I would never, I would never, my body would never fail me. Yeah. My body's power.

My body's completely powerful. Did you see the fucking, the fucking video of him, Sam showed me this, there's a video of him a week before this assassination attempt where he's talking about somebody, somebody's talking to him about Chris Christie, somebody talking to him about Chris Christie. Uh-huh. somebody talking to him about Chris Christie and he says, oh yeah, he's never fat. You wouldn't, you couldn't call someone

we have to be nice. The fucking clip is so good. I would never call someone a fat pig. I would never call someone a fat pig and then he says, or yeah, he's like, oh, Chris Christie's fat. I said, sir, you can't call him that. Then he says he's a fat pig.

I say, sir. The delivery is so good. Yeah. It's so crazy. I know. He's funny in a way that like, Like, you can only try to be that kind of funny. I mean, yeah.

Yeah. Man. He reminds me of Heidecker in that way. Well, I guess that's all the housekeeping, right? I guess that is all the housekeeping. I did make a, I found a list. Let's do it. I love a list.

I love a list. I found a list of, this is a new website. This is in kind of like a list of websites that Cameron has found, and I was scrolling through this this morning, and I was blown away by this amazing website called Wonderslist.com, and these are the top two lists on the website right now. Great. The first list, Alberta, Canada, a must-visit destination in 2024, and then the second most popular list on the website, top ten countries with the highest rape crime in the world.

Okay, so which did you elect to talk about today? brought, oh, I didn't talk about any of these two. Just a list. Just the show that these are the two top choices on the web. These are the two highest traffic lists on the website right now. Great. Is people being like, oh, should I go to Edmonton?

And where, well, where shouldn't I go? Where shouldn't I go? Hopefully, hopefully Canada's not on this list. Right. And then there's a bunch of other amazing lists on here. Like, why

Father's Day Hamper is the best gift to give for Father's Day. Top 10 most beautiful Israeli female soldiers. Top 10 facts about creepy crawlies that will tickle your funny bone and top 10 Bollywood stars who went to jail for crimes.

Oh my God. Yeah. These all strike me as interesting enough for maybe three to four episodes of podcast about list. Yeah? Yeah. Well, I only looked at two by the author, Andrea John. And Andrea

John made this list here, top 10 bizarre fashion trends that got the hype for no reason. And the description of this says fashion trends come and go and even though we all love following fashions, sometimes it just gets completely weird. There are some fashion

trends that you just can't seem to understand. Fashion designers like to bring out their creativity on the runway, and we get that, but sometimes they just go way over the top. They forget what would look nice or not and just create anything possible. There have been fashion shows where models have worn dresses made out of hair, condoms,

and one designer attached real humans together in weird ways to make a statement. What are you trying to convey? I think that they haven't lost the plot, right? I mean, fashion designers, they do like to bring out their creativity on the runway. Way over the top, what's the point in living? Right. We got to go way over the top with it. You got to be wearing a toilet.

Right. You got to be wearing a toilet on the runway. Do we accuse chefs of going way over the top when they slather a burger and ketchup? No. No, we don't. No, we do not. We're not allowed. Honestly, we're not allowed to talk about chefs.

It's completely different from fashion. Fashion you can talk every which way. Oh, boo! Yeah. Oh, this shirt looks like crap, but if you say, oh, you should, you use too much ketchup, Mr. Chef. You'll cut your head off. Yeah, they have knives.

Yeah. Because chefs are the most dangerous people in the world. Right. The most dangerous people who traffic in the yummy. The most weapon-endowed yummy experts. It's crazy the dichotomy of the life of the chef. Because you spend so much time around sharp things, but also shiny things. Shiny things, the counter.

Right? The pan. Right. And then you got this tremendous heat. We're talking 450 degrees Fahrenheit. And then the freezing freezer. Where the cold meat and ice cream is kept. A chef deals in such extremes.

They deal with really... Which is why it makes sense why Bourdain was so punk rock. Right. Because a chef knows if you're going to make a dinner, you want it salty. but then dessert comes you want it sweet yeah yeah oh a sweet

and look and don't combine the two right because you'll freak me the fuck out well maybe this is maybe this is where it comes similar to fashion

right like I don't know how many famous chefs we have but if a chef said I'm going to make a salty dessert would people say oh great oh this fucking shit again classic chef

Yeah, classic fucking chef mood. Oh, you're going to make it salty. You're going to make salty ice cream. Fuck you. I say it's the same across the board. What's the point in living if you can't have a salty dessert? Who cares if it's sweet or not? I would like a dessert that's purely salty sometimes.

Just brick of salt? Well, that's too salty. That's just too salty. I was talking to Matthew Golden about this. It's like, is there such a thing as too salt? It's all just salt. Yeah. Like, you put salt in your mouth.

You're just like, you don't go like, whoa, that is salty. Just like, oh, that is the taste of salt. I guess, yeah, I've done that. Right. I guess you have a mouth full of, I mean, you can throw up if you have too much salt, right? That's what you can. Oh, yeah. You can make yourself throw up with, like, water and a ton of salt.

Yeah. That's crazy to me. It's just salt. Yeah. It's just salt. You know what? The problem is, though, you make yourself throw up. throw up with that because you don't have any pepper.

Right. You have to put pepper in it. Yeah, exactly. Like if you over-salt the pasta water, you just put some pepper in. Yeah. It's the only thing that counterbalances it. Right. Yeah. Yeah. If you're lost at sea, you might want to bring a mirror so that

a ship can see. A mirror and some pepper. Yeah. Pepper up the ocean. Right. That's how you sterilize the ocean water. A straw made of pepper. Then you can just sort of sip directly from the ocean. Like those guys that make the knives and the plates made of salt right knife made of salt fork made of pepper spoon made of sugar oh and uh plate made of ketchup burger made of meat burger made of delicious ground beef that would be good

bun made of wheat bun made of wheat um ooh bar made of chocolate oh god that would hit oh my god we should just pause right now and go get one is this whole list about fashion trends? Because now I have, I've got my mind on ketchup. Yeah. It is two lists. All right. Well, let's go through this one. The first one is kind of a little weak. No, let's do the fashion trends. Let's do fashion trends. So here's the list of the ten bizarre things. Night suit in the day. One of the most bizarre fashion trends. This is number 10, folks. It only gets more bizarre from here. Oh, and it gets bizarre. Some of them are pretty bizarre.

Night suit in the daytime. I guess this is quite bizarre. at this image, but on the left, it does look like a night down to me. Yeah. On the left, it looks like a... To me, a night suit's made of metal and chain mail. Right. This just looks like some lingerie or something.

But I guess I'm on a fucking fashion issue. I guess I'm, yeah, a fucking dip shit if I think that that's supposed to look like chain mail. I think this is a night suit. Great. Yeah. Yeah, this is bizarre. If I saw... But I guess these are women wearing...

This is a night dress, right? Yeah. Yeah. I really like the captions on these are really good. One of the most bizarre fashion trends we have recently seen on runways and red carpets is the night suit in fashion. Now, you might be confused, but people are literally wearing night suit for events. Brands have come out with slip dresses, which are basically sexy nighties turned into dresses, and some wear the good old pajamas in a robe.

If you're so sleepy, why don't you stay at home? true fucking destroyed um if you're so sleepy why don't you say home maybe because this is a fashion trend you hating bitch ladies if any if any of your female peers says to you um if you're so sleepy why don't you stay at home to say that hit them hit them with that ever heard of a fashion trend ever heard of ever heard of where uh uh yeah had to use one sound effect in the episode I'll kill you I'll fucking kill you

I'll fucking kill you Great Um Yeah The sleepy shotgun user Yeah Number nine The hideous case of socks and sandals

Okay for me the worst shoe trend Is the crocs I absolutely hate the shape of them I can't stand them But this trend just won the trophy Sox and sandals is the new shoe trend is absolutely horrendous. Girls wearing sandals,

girls are wearing sandals and not the flat ones with thick neon colored socks in them. How exactly does that look flattering? And that's not a sandal, this picture. This is just a sock

in like a, what is it, like a kitten heel or something. I'm more interested in the background of this image. It's just so tastefully, like, it just conveys a mood.

It's like you can tell that it's overcast. This is perfect, I will say, for the watchers, this is the kind of... Watchers are eating good today. I'll say that.

I'll say that. This image just screams vibes. Straight up. But no, I mean, when you get a little bit of like that frost on the ground, you're walking on stone and there's like, you can tell that the grass is like Dewey. This is what? This is, you can tell exactly when this image was captured, 9 a.m. on like a, like an October morning. Yeah. And this is for like, this is like a photo shoot for like T-Moo.

Oh, yeah. For these T-Mu sandals or the socks. Yeah. Maybe the socks. I like this. I mean, I have to... What do you think they're selling here? Do you think it's the sandel or the shoe or the sock?

Because in my mind, it's selling the sock. I would say, yeah. Yeah, the sock looks good here. Yeah. The sock looks the best. Well, that's the other thing, too, is like, if you walk around wearing heels, everyone's going to think, like, oh, she's basically like a walking advertisement for those heels. You wear socks, suddenly people are like, oh, I guess she just comes.

with those heels. Those heels must just be a part of her essence. Yeah, that's just her thing, I guess. I guess she was born with that. Yeah, I can't hope to have those heels. No, I could never have the heels. Those socks, though, yeah. The socks, maybe.

Right. She seems to be showing off her socks. In the same way that, like, when I have a fart, I don't want people to comment, and I don't want anyone to be talking about what I ate to produce that fart. No, we're talking about the eating thing is, you know, that's too far. Now I'm thinking about a food fart.

Yeah. Now I'm associating fart with food. Right, which I don't like doing. I hate that. No, but I like the idea that my farts are just a part. Whatever they smell like, that's just from me. That's just, I was born with the smell. Yeah.

That's all me. Yeah. This is a hideous case. I hate this. What's the next one? The next one is colored armpit hair. There are fashion trends. that are weird, and then there are those that are downright gross.

This is one of the most bizarre fashion trends. The new fashion trend endorsed by celebrities like Miley Cyrus of dyeing the armpit hair of different colors, women have grown their armpit hair and gotten them dye. Apparently, this shows a symbol of feminism, but I just see gross hair. I think your hair should always match your armpit hair. Yeah, and your eyebrows too. Right. Any type of hair on your body has to match your head.

Yeah, I agree. This is just, you know, this is just normal sort of autobot behavior. Yeah. This is normal stuff. You just want to have a color scheme. Otherwise, it's like, this is like when kids were like, oh, the point of bionicles is that you can interchange all the parts. No, it's not. No, I have my red one, my blue one.

The blue one has a blue weapon. The red one has a red weapon. You're not supposed to interchange them. And if you do, you're missing the point. Yeah. So I think, at least in this image, this lady has lovely. teal hair and lovely teal armpits and a teal shirt and a teal shirt if you change the color of it i personally want to fuck mary kill fall in love with i want to run the gamut with a you want to

fuck mary and kill this lady um is that what you're saying i don't actually want to kill her but every everything else i would love to have a lovely meal with her um but i don't want to spend time with someone who feels like their their style is all like uh trinked up, you know, like, oh, I've got this from over here. You should, your entire outfit should be from... One color. Yeah, it should be one color from one place. And, yeah, you should just, you should match.

Yeah. You should be a pink person, let's say. If you want to be a pink person that day, be a, you have to be a pink person. You have to be a pink person. Right. If you want to be green. Well, if you want to fuck Mary and get down with me. Yeah.

If you want to fuck Mary, get down with me. If you want to fuck Mary, get down with Pierce. You got to be green. or different colors. Yeah. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Must be a color. Okay. The next one is eye tattoos. And if you look closely at this image, zoom in a little bit if you can because this is, this is supposed to be an eye tattoo, but it looks like it is just a, a picture of a bottle of vodka and a lion.

I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it. It's so bizarre and scary. Yeah, this one is just plain weird, they say. They say, people have gotten tattoos for centuries with the resources they have had. We'll just stop it there. Wow. Jubio, give her a love to tattoo. That's amazing.

Jubio, you should be giving this lady a tattoo. Yeah. Don't you think? You can ink her up. All right. That's not quite an eyeball tattoo. But this is, look, if you have this tattoo, I will fucking marry and kill you. Hoo-wee.

All right. What's the next one, Pat? The next one is Barbie flu. Now, Barbie flu, they say. Oh, not Barbie fever. I get it. It should be Barbie fever. But it's flu.

Yeah Remember when we were kids When are we going to have a barbecue? When is that going to be the latest fashion trend? I almost brought over the grill I was going to have the grill right here We should do a grill Yeah, do a grill episode

Yeah, just right outside Oh, like No, not indoors Oh I thought we were going to do it indoors No man, come on But remember when we were kids and played with Barbies? Yeah, those were the simpler times.

However, the Barbie fever has gone a little out of hand and turned into what is now known as the Barbie flu. In Ukraine, women are turning themselves into living Barbies by getting plastic surgeries done. The men aren't far behind either and are getting surgeries done to look more like Ken. A city full of human dolls? That's just terrifying.

Not really. I think as long as you're like... City full of human dolls. What are you talking about? L.A.? Come on. Nice That's what I wish would happen

No, I think it's normal As long as As long as people are Shitting, sneezing, farting Coming They're, you know, it's not scary I'm not gonna be I'm not scared of

Even if you look like a beautiful Even if you look like The sexiest thing ever made I'm not gonna be scared of you Yeah I actually don't find it scary When men and women look gorgeous I do oh yeah that's why you're never going to be the president man yeah you think that's why not because

i don't have a following like you said before um you have a following no yeah you do not anymore not anymore ever since ever since this episode came out ever since this episode came out um all right what's the next one i have barbie flu uh the next one is ear gauging no this is good Yeah. What's the awesome list? Let's splead through this, man. Okay, yeah, ear gauging, then Gothic Lolitas. God, that is awesome.

We all know the craze coming out of Comic-Con. Then the next one is hoof footwear. You know what I like about Gothic Lolitas? Mm-hmm. Is that I think this probably reminds people of the developmental moment of burning a marshmallow. That soft, perfect. gooey white like you touch

one of these Gothic Lolitas and you feel like your finger's gonna get stuck in them like they're like their lilith from Evangelion

I've never seen it man and then on the outside you've got this perfect black crispy charcoal papery like you could just peel their clothes off

and it would turn to turn to ash in your hand this is giving campfire marshmallow this is giving they should have called it that

yeah they should have called this marshmallowing They should have. This is getting... Gothic, Lollita, Gothic, first of all, that reminds me of self-harm.

Uh-huh. And then Lolita reminds me of that book about the pedophile. Now, if you said these are marshmallow girls, I'd be on board. I'd say,

hey, there should be more marshmallow girls. Yeah, I want to make it with a marshmallow. Did you... I want to be a graham cracker. I hate s'mores, man. I think they're disgusting.

But I also hate them, but I like s'm... flavored things. Yeah, that's pretty good. What I realize about smores is that it's something to talk about. I mean, I think otherwise, when you're sitting by a fire,

someone's going to be like, so what are you guys scared of? It's just like, you know, I know we're sitting by a fire, but you actually don't have to talk about weird stuff. We can just continue to drink beer and make jokes. Smores are there just so like, because you're going to fuck them up.

Right. Unless you're really good at smores, then that means you practiced. Right, which is also weird. Yeah. But like, I mean, but the other thing I don't like is like when people intentionally put their marshmallow

into the fire, it lights on fire and then they blow it out. It's like, and then they say, I like it this way. I'm just like... No, you don't. Yeah. You should be more dexterous. Even if you like them that way, don't do something that announces that you don't have any like motor, fine motor skills.

Yeah. Show off for the children who are at the fire and say one day you'll be a grown-up and you won't fucking burn the shit out of your marshmallow. One day you'll make these in the microwave at home. I like him perfectly toasted. That's what you should be saying.

I like a perfect s'more. Yeah. Yeah, grabbing with perfect autistic posture, taking all of your smore ingredients from the fireplace inside and then coming back outside. Look. I even cut the crust off. I've made these in the microwave.

Luck. Have you ever tried to do that? I just remembered, like, trying to make. No, I always hated them. I tried to make s'mores in the microwave when I was like maybe six or seven. And when you put a marshmallow in the microwave, it doesn't char. No. It expands and it gets really, really big.

And I just remember exploding a marshmallow in the microwave. I was like staying home from school and my mom was at work and just like not knowing how to clean it up. Because I was like six. I shouldn't have been playing with the microwave anyway and just full marshmallow in there. I think as far as playing with the microwave goes, that's probably like, that's the that's where it begins and ends i think yeah it doesn't get more fun no than that no because you're watching you watch it expand and then the explosion i had i went to i went to daycare a lot as a kid and there was this kid ben who uh he picked up a like we we had maybe i told the story

in the pod before but uh and we on the playground it was just wood chips on the ground that that's like what we would play on and he picked up like a handful of wood chips and then there was some tissue paper from like the art room and then he wrapped the wood chips in tissue paper and then he was like this is a firework and then he was like I'm going to go home and light this yeah I said okay I don't think it'll work but we'll see and then he came back and he was like dude I lit that firework you want to know what happened and I was like what and he was like it lit up like a campfire man I was like right so a fire yeah you just made fire yeah you just made fire yeah Um, all right.

So, next is a hoof footwear. No, nope, never. Meggings, no, men's leggings.

The Hitler craze. Hitler died many years ago, but his fashion sense has stayed. Thailand has been seen recently with a Hitler fashion craze. People are seen wearing shirts with Hitler's face, accessories, posters, and many other things.

We are very worried about the Thai nation. Yeah, this is just one thing that happened a long time ago. Right. You know what I hate? when it comes to fashion is nuclear weapons. Yeah. Oh, I hate that.

God damn. Yeah, then the next one is, I just, the next one is the top ten reasons, unselfish reasons to not have kids. And this, you see a lot about Adriana John, the writer of the last two articles

in these. Next slide, yeah, this is just like the arguments about that, but the first reason to not, have kids. Wait, I'm sorry. I'm not really grasping the double negative. Unselfish reasons to not have kids instead of selfish reasons to not have kids.

Oh, so she's just saying to not have kids is inherently unselfish. Top 10 reasons. It's supposed to just say top 10 reasons to not have kids. Right. Got it. But, yeah, they're saying it's unselfish. Yeah, the act itself is commendable because of unsolvish. Yeah.

I get it. Yeah, the first thing on the list here was, are you ugly, short? fat, thin, or do you have a large nose or thick lips or whatever? There must be one physical feature of yours that you would have liked to be different. You didn't have a choice. Neither will your child. Your children will

inherit your physical and character defects. I am really short and I know what it's like to be short. It sucks. I sometimes wish I was never born at all. I'm not going to create another short human being. Isn't it selfish to create a person with a defect?

a defect that you are very well acquainted with? In a sense, we trap little souls of babies and bodies they might not like. In a sense. You know, I'm sure that there have been people who have said to their parents you know I wish I was never born, right? That's this whole article. Right, I know.

Well, Matthew, Golden and I were talking a lot about the antinatalist movement and have you heard of this woman, Chris Corda? No. She started this thing called the Church of Euthanasia and the attendance of the Church of euthanasia are cannibalism, sodomy, suicide, and I think

abortion. And it's all about how having children is inherently, uh, it's ecologically dangerous and the only solution is to not have kids. But, um, she also makes music and there's this one song called baby batter bingo. That's really good. And it's just like funny songs about how having kids is stupid. Hmm. Is this, is this a, is this one of these parody churches? Yeah, it's a parody church. It's one of these parody churches that's making fun of religion.

Yeah. No, I think it's... It sounds like a load of crap to me. It's really, it's really dark. Yeah. It's really dark crap. It sounds like a bunch of dark crap. Yeah.

That sounds like something that only exists in the boys' universe. No, it's real. It's in our universe right now. What the crap is that? So, yes, people, children must have said, I've never said it, but, uh, mom, dad, why did you even do this?

Yeah. I don't want to be born. But it would be so funny to say, look at this. Look what you made Look at my ugly nose Oh look what you made on my face Yeah

You knew that I was going to have this cock You knew my cock was going to be this small There's a reoccurring theme In Adriana John's work Which is this next thing You won't contribute to any more violence And they said if Hitler's mom read this article And decide to not have kids

A lot of innocent people would have not been tortured, and also his name wouldn't even appeared in this article. That's such an awesome thing. I know. If Hitler's mom didn't have him, I wouldn't even have said it. Yeah. Even Hitler was a cream pie gone wrong.

They probably thought, Hitler's parents probably thought, oh, what's wrong with a cream pie? Fuck it. Why not? Yeah. let's not use the condom fuck it oh no

right I mean you don't know you don't know because we this this kind of everyone wants their sex life to be private but if people were constantly

writing about their sex lives if you had if there was a sort of a public sex catalog where every sexual experience was written out an exhaustive detail

we would know whether or not Hitler was a fluke like maybe his parents were always the jizz on the belly types jizz on the bed type giz on the bed

giz on the belly jizz on the forehead just don't do it on me what if I mean if we had the evidence if we could go back and read the book

we could see maybe Hitler's mother was sleeping in a cum puddle maybe she was tossing tossing and turning in bed and accidentally got submerged in the crusty cum puddle. I mean,

who's at fault there? Yeah. Then it's just... It's the bed's fault. You have to burn the bed. Right. Bed bug. Yeah.

Bed bug style. You'd have to burn the bed. Bedbug style. Yeah. This next one is consent cannot be sought. And the same thing, It's just like this person saying, like, well, no one wishes to be born.

Maybe they're a part of this church. Well, it's, I mean, it is, I don't want to give everyone the, the antinatalist pill, but this is the graph. There's a graph on Wikipedia, like a Putnam Square that gives you this. It's like, it's bad to cause suffering. It's good to prevent suffering. It is good. Wait Oh, if you

Have the chance to cause suffering And you do, that's bad If you have the chance to cause suffering And you don't, that's neutral If you have the chance to Cause joy, that's good If you have the chance to Not cause joy

That's neutral But They could have just made it one statement They didn't have to make this square cut that part too I don't know what I'm talking about I think you should have a little fucker in the house yeah yeah there's nothing wrong with it

I just really it's so funny to like be on this website making these like kind of lists and like your day to day like making lists that are like the the gift hamper is the best gift for dad and then like throwing in like your whole thing was like I fucking wish I was never born I'm stuck making these goddamn lists all day

fashion's weird well I mean you bring up a good point especially with Father's Day is like I mean we wouldn't even have this amazing holiday we wouldn't have Father's Day if no one was born that's right which this article is saying I wish no one was born I wish no one was born no one else was born

well I think that we should we should probably not have is there a I think the ideal world is that no more babies are born but we still have plenty of fathers yeah so if only there was a way to father something other than a human baby like a bug

like a bug I guess that would be nice yeah you could have a type of bug dad if we could nut on a bug then it made a and it made something yeah

yeah that would be nice that would solve the problem we could still celebrate Father's Day although who wants to get a gift from your bug a Father's Day gift from your Father's Day gift from your fathers get gifts are already

they'd probably give you just like a piece of dust they'd probably give you a piece of dust or an egg or another bug or hair that they found a piece of hair a piece of grass but always a piece of something not that Father's Day gifts are even that good nowadays would be a full-sized bug we don't have to keep doing the list

we've made enough time The list kind of falls off really bad. There's a lot of reading in here. Yeah, it's unfortunate that you had me on because I can kind of... This kind of stuff is really important to me. Yeah, I know. The question of whether or not to have children,

that kind of thing actually does affect me deeply. So I'm sorry that I can't make a ton of... I would rather talk about nutting on a bug. Yeah, me too, honestly. So what do you want? You want this to be the last episode? There's going to be the last episode of two peas in a pod, I think, unless something else happens.

Unless something else happens in this world. Yeah, something else could happen in this world. Maybe Caleb's on a Boeing plane right now. Right. Caleb is with his father right now, right? I think so. If everything has gone according to plan. When is...

You're saying that you had a hand in it. you bought Caleb the plane ticket and you're like yeah just wait just wait you're gonna see something you like pretty soon it is so weird for parents to continue hanging out with the results of their cream pies

I'm gonna feed do you think your dad ever looks at you and is like that's my nut that was once my nut no no I think it's weird that he doesn't think that yeah I think it's weird that he's convinced himself

that I have my own conscious entity No, you're just your dad's nut. I know, but he won't admit it. Neither of my folks will. My mom won't say my egg is on a roll. They're always like, oh, he's his own little superstar. No, they're never saying, oh, my egg. They're never taking responsibility.

Right. But I'm sure Caleb's mom recognizes him as an egg. Because of his head. An egg gone right. Caleb is bald. He has a head like an egg I don't know where the Where's the good one?

Where's the one that everyone likes? Catch up I saw a ghost All right Another 15 minutes of sound board Yeah another 15 minutes here we go Oh my god Okay this one is just

Wait talk For a second Hello Hey man Yeah, there's a reason, Patrick, that it's not two peas in a pod podcast. Why? Why? You don't think that two peas in a pod could take off? I think truly the soundboard would be the star of our show. I think...

Podcast about list presents. Show and Learn with Cameron Fetter. Oh. No. That's wrong. Yeah. where did okay genuinely I'm getting like upset that I can't

What are you trying to find The the uh the That one It's off Okay It's off of here Did somebody take it off What the

Oh here it is Oh here it is This has This has been The first And only episode of the two keys and a podcast. And we want to say thank you for listening.

Thank you, Pierce, for agreeing to do this. You're welcome. What would a solo episode have been? I'm just curious. It would have been me just talking to myself while Julio would have been forced to sit there and switch the cameras while I'm talking to myself. I've done a solo episode before.

Yeah. I've done two. The first one was fine. The second one is the worst episode in the show's existence. But, yeah, I would have just been fully panicking and being like, I'm sucking right now. It's really hard to tell whether or not I am the, if I can do anything to alleviate. I think I'm a textbook maniac. I think I'm a hysterical person.

So I wonder if I do anything to curb that instinct. Who knows? I guess we'll find out. We'll find out tomorrow when this comes out. And you'll find out. And you'll see us at our show on the 13th of August. At Littlefield in Brooklyn, we have an exciting show for you guys. Just me and Patrick.

Yeah, it's going to be me and Peter. It's a two-man sketch show. Yeah. That would be kind of crazy if we did a two-man sketch show. You and I just decided to be a duo. Yeah. Really confused everyone else. Two piece in a pot.

Yeah. You are so on one with two peas and a pot. It's great. It's the best name I've ever come up with. It's so interesting that it's never... We've never done an episode that's just us to. Yeah. Yeah.

And then the other guys are two C's in P. With J. Right. With Jay? Julio. Uh-huh. All right. Well, thank you everybody for listening.

We're sorry. the episode is missing is missing how are we going to feel one day when we're famous movie stars and then we pass away

tragically he kind of looks like he looks like Caleb a little bit looks like me he looks way more like you put a lot of weight on you kind of looks like you

get a blonde mustache and hair like that that doesn't look like me at all kind of looks like you man looks he has tiny be smile Oh, he was in North Pole Open for Christmas from 2015. I didn't see that.

And he was born in Chico, California. Chico, where the freaks go. But what are we going to, how are we going to feel? We're going to look back on all of our transgressions so poorly. What have you guys been talking about this whole time? We're trying to talk. Yeah. We're trying to talk.

So, there we go. Yeah, turn it off, which means sit down. We, one day, I already have one in. See, somehow without the mic, you're still interrupting me. One day, we will. One day, we will die. Sadly. Maybe you will.

Sadly, stop looking cute. I don't have anything on my forehead. Do I? What do I have? Eyebrows? No. A line? A hat?

I have a line on my forehead. It's a shadow from your head. Oh, it's just a shadow. The brim. Stop doing this. You can talk. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

No, come on. You have to talk. You have to talk. I'm really sorry. I wish I never did that. I'm trying to speed run the most unkind obituary.