Podcast About List - Ep. 300 - The 300th Episode Special (part 1)

Episode Date: July 26, 2024

Welcome to the world's first 12-hour Podcast About List podcast episode with lots of fun and guest and plenty enough to listen/watch all the way through! Watch the special on YouTube http://youtube.com/@PodcastAboutList CHAPTERS: Hour 1 - The Gist Hour 2 - Boobs vs Butts Debate Hour 3 - Kids Show Hour 4 - Car Talk Hour 5 - JoeBox with Joe from HOMEPLANET Hour 6 - Advice Hour Buy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

live first of all wait you can't start with us all on our phone man wait what are we live we're live now did we say it's up i know you don't have to clap but i'd like for you to clap good morning good morning everybody hello and good morning happy wednesday happy wednesday and welcome to the podcast about list pre-show

the gist in the morning this is welcome to the gist This is one of New York's most popular coffee early morning shows. And it is early morning. It doesn't matter where you are. I mean, we're about an hour past the crack. This is the early morning for us. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

This is the early morning for us. It's an early morning for everybody. And this is just one of those shows where you sit back, unwind, have a little chat with the host and hear about what's going on around the world. Maybe a little offbeat news stories, a few interviews. And you get the gist. And you get the gist of it. And this is great for me because I've been out.

out of town. So I've been kind of away from any sort of media source. I don't really know what's going on that much. So I'd love to be kind of taught. Sure. I'd love to be taught the news. Me too. Yeah. I mean, I guess I just want to just spend a while and just talk about what's going on with you guys. What is going on with me? Well, I woke up today and I thought that I had COVID and that this whole thing was going to be completely canceled. But it turns out I have sunburn. Let's clap at the studio. It's just classic sun poisoning. And I don't like aloe on my body. Thank you.

You don't like alo? It feels... I don't like alo. I feel like I'm getting... I feel like I'm violating myself sexually when I put aloe vera on my body. It feels like, frankly. I don't like, for the same reason, I don't like lotion. I don't like lotion either.

I don't wear lotion. I feel... I feel like a girl when I put lotion on my face. Let's keep it. Let's keep it PG, please. Okay. With the language. You can say, I feel sexual when I slather on lotion. Yeah. It's not watershed.

The F, the F, the F, the F, I can't say F till one. Don't say F pop. You cannot pop F's right now. I can't pop. You can't pop F's on the gist. No. The gist is, we're on TV. Yeah.

We're on television. But yeah, so sunburn was awesome. I met a human stop sign. That was pretty interesting. What's that? A traffic conductor. No. This was a, the place that I was staying in California, there was a bar that we would go to every day.

And outside there was a stop sign. And there was a guy who was at the stop sign. homeless guy directing traffic like 12 hours a day. Wow. He was always there. A traffic conductor. No, he was not a, he did not have yellow on. You didn't even have the vet.

You're thinking of a traffic official. Yeah. Oh, he was not official at all. No, he's a traffic artist. Yes, he would go there. And he was almost always wrong, by the way. It was a four-way stop sign. Right. And he would tell people who had been there for,

he was holding people up who had been there for like a full minute. Yeah. Who could, it would have been there, turn him. million times and he was just saying the life of a traffic aficionado is so interesting yeah there was when at my middle school there was a you know how they have the school uh yeah my mom's friends with the one the intersection this guy was crazy yeah he was he had delusions of grandeur this is where he was the man i learned about the phrase delusions of grandeur because my dad my mom said that guy has delusions of grandeur that's a very funny thing to tell your son about a guy

about a crossing guard yeah well he would Yeah, he would take it. He was, he was like he was running the nuclear facility. The traffic at a nuclear facility. Yeah. Yeah. The traffic between the different bombs. That's scary.

That's a high pressure job. But he would, he had a, he had a whistle. You don't need a whistle. No, you never ever need a whistle. I don't think you should be with human horn. No, no, no, no. You don't need a whistle because. The whistle is the human horn.

God gave you a whistle. It's your mouth. Exactly. If you're in a, if you're driving and someone going like this doesn't stop you, you shouldn't be driving. I agree. And also, you should not be whistling at children. Yeah, that is the last thing. He was like he was using his whistle like a laser beam.

He would, he would act like people were trying to kill him. Well, they were. I wanted to kill him. They were. They were trying to kill him. How many every single person, every single person in a car tries to kill the crossing guard? How many crossing guards do we lose in the line of duty every year? 12 per day.

12 per day. That's a dangerous job. It's very dangerous. They should be, they should be a deadliest catch. It should be deadliest. Here's a funny, an interesting statistic that actually just crossed my desk. And, you know, our PA brought it over to me. And this is actually very, it's relevant, very interesting.

Did you guys know that apparently it's safer? More people die per year driving cars than they do piloting spaceships. Really? So if we can keep that out of the gist, a jubio production. So if we can keep that out of the gist, that would be great. You're not the producer's the gist. You kind of already, I mean, I'm fine. You kind of stepped on what I was saying a little bit.

Yeah, you know what? Let's end. Let's end here. You know, that really surprises me because spaceships seem like a very dangerous thing to pilot. But it's actually much, much safer than driving a car. Really? But that's interesting. That's like with the shark thing.

You know that damn shark thing? You're more likely to die from a shark in the water. People are always pushing this fucking stupid shark shit. What is it? Hey, you don't. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm swearing. I can't believe.

I hate sharks. They push, oh, by the way, I got revenge on a shark. I ate one while I was on my vacation. What flavor was it? Barbecued? It was fried shark. Fried shark. Shark nugget.

What type of shark? Some dumb, violent bastard shark. Swearing again. It said extremely violent shark. That's when it said what type of shark it was, daily catch market price. And I got some shark nuggets. And I felt good eating those nuggets, man. Yeah.

I did not taste all that good. Yeah, I can't imagine. They're good getting back at sharks. But people always say, oh, well, more people die from vending machines than sharks every. You're not, I don't go, I'm not ever trying to get a soda out of a shark. There are people who are in the pocket of sharks. Yes, I agree. And the gill, so to speak.

And what they, I bet that every year. Wow. Yeah, he said that. Yeah, that's a good, that's an amazing pun. Thank you. The gill is like the pocket of the shark. What do you think of it looks like a pocket on a pants. Is that why they're there?

It's for pocketing air into the body. Oh, I guess that's true. I think that every year these people who have these statistics I think every year they get a printout and it's okay here's every single thing in the universe that one more person has died of than being biteed by a shark

and it's yeah vending machines splashing splashing. Splashing is killed a lot of well splashing leads to sharks. Splashing leads to a shark yeah splash will attract a shark I'm scared I'm really scared of sharks I'm scared of splashes I'm pretty also terrified of sharks. I went to a nude beach a couple weeks ago.

With your family? No. No, no, no, no. I didn't know it was a nude beach. Oh. Went to a nude beach. So you weren't prepared. You didn't bring your naked? I had known. You didn't have it on you. No, I only had my clothes on. Yeah, I said crap. I was supposed to be naked. I didn't know it was a nude beach. I got into the water and I was sitting there and I was zoning out thinking about sharks and not moving past like my feet in the water. And I was already really freaked out and then I turned around and there was a big

most ugly breasts I've ever seen in my life staring at me. On a shark? On a shark that was walking. It was a sharks and nude people beach. And then I noticed it and I was like, that's interesting. This person has no top on. And then I started walking around and I started seeing bottoms of guys and bottoms of girls.

And I said this has to be the oddest beach in the world. I must have time traveled to California instead of New York City. And then I buried my head in the same. That's just a travel. They're three hours before us. Oh, interesting. Yeah. You never even thought about that.

I guess going across state lines or time zones is time traveling. Is that the most nude people you've seen in one place? I've never seen a nude person besides my wife and my mom. Right. I don't think. Yeah, I have to agree with that. Until the other day. And it was not, I didn't like it.

What I'll add on to that is I don't think I've ever seen two nude people at the same time. I'm thinking about that right now and I don't think I ever have in my entire life. I saw a what seemed to be a mother-daughter nudity trip. Well, nowadays relationships are anything. Yeah. That's true. That could have been too lesbian love or loving. Yeah, mother, daughter, lesbian.

Well, we don't, I mean... You don't know if they're mother and daughter. Yeah, I just assume mother and daughter. They could be father and mother. But this is a bad... This is a really bad beach to go. I do not recommend going to a new beach. And this was in New York City?

Yeah, it was called... New York City. It was in Long Island. It was not Central Park. It was not Central Park. It was in Long Island? Yeah, it was called... I thought they would not let that fly there. It's called Fort.

Tilden, Fort Tilden. And the beach was really nice, but except for all the nudity. And once I found out it was nude, I basically sat with my head on the towel for the entire two hours. And that's where I got my first set of Sunburn. You didn't, I didn't get nude, man. Okay. And also, I don't want to sit there. If you're lined face down. I don't want to be sitting there with my eyes open. Yeah. Because I don't want to see nudity. Nude eyes. I don't want to see, I only want to see nudity if I'm paying to see the nudity. I do not want to see free nudity. Because it's going to be worse. It's way worse. This free

nudity is dog shit. Dog crap. Thank you. These beavers I was seeing were, they were free. You could tell they were free. That's what I'm saying. And the dongs were not much better. Yeah. Dongs were better by default because I'm more familiar with the dong. Uh-huh. But you've seen

them. Have you ever seen more than one naked person in that one place? I might have. Who? Me and Cameron. Yeah, maybe. On tour. We've never been naked to I don't think we've ever been naked together. No? Maybe I've seen it. It?

What do you mean it? It? Like Pennywise? Like us two is an it when we're naked together? I see it. No, you didn't see it. I don't think I saw it. I don't think you seen us naked.

I think I've seen you naked or partly naked. Mostly naked. I've seen. Have I been naked? You've seen 100%? I've seen pictures. Oh, I've seen 100% pictures. Oh, yeah.

I've seen multiple times of pictures. I forgot. I showed you that one photo where I woke up. Right. You showed that one where you were jacking off in your sleep. Sorry, you were manhandling yourself in your sleep. I've also seen a picture where you were,

you showed me where you were, how do I say this in a TV-friendly way? You were leaking. What? Into the toilet. Oh, yeah. He was gisting into the toilet? I was gisting into the toilet.

Taking an arc of water into the toilet. He was picking an arc of water into the toilet. And he said, look at this picture. And it was his... His valet? Chef. Yeah. Really?

I think I just... We were in a bathroom together, and I took a picture of my pee. You were in the bathroom and he took a picture and showed it. And then I held it over the stall, and I said, check this out. I don't think that even happened. I think you showed me after. No, I showed you in the bathroom. I remember putting it over the stall and showing it to you.

And it had the photo bar on top of it. Remember, it has that. that little like carousel thing at the bottom. Oh yeah, where it says the metadata. It says the metadata and the other photos and you can scroll through. And then when you tap it goes away. When you tap it goes away, and then when it tapped it went away, it was just the head. Yeah, so I saw that.

And if you had to pick a color on my sunburnt body that the head closely. Which is the most purple. I think probably this leaf right here. Yeah. It was green. Yeah. No, I would say, I would say it's like. Gray.

Where's the other? Don't you have a purple tattoo? what do you think I have tattooed I mean that's purple I think it looked like this it looked pink don't you have a grape tattooed on your body

I don't have a grape tattooed on my body I remember no because you came in you were like guys I'm so excited I finally got a grape I always said I went to a tattoo shop

and I was like do a grape do you don't get the grape on the left arm yeah that's a prison test That's a prison tattoo. Not even a bunch of grapes.

Just a single grape. No stem. I just like a grape. It has a deep meaning to me. Yeah. It means sweetness. Dude, you go to you. And fruit.

You go and you get the apprentice and they tattoo the grape on you and it's like, oh, no. I got the eggplant. Oh, gosh. And you don't want an eggplant these days because nowadays it means something completely different from what it used to be. The worship of the penis, fallicism. Did you know that they? I don't follow anymore. I'm glad.

I'm really glad that we could. Tell us a little bit, I mean, it's always nice to hear somebody's story on it. Tell us a little bit about your exit from fallacism. Because I know that it was a big event for you. And I think if I remember correctly, there was something that happened that caused you to leave. Yeah, what happened was somebody told me that it's not a real religion and that. That's not what I remember you saying before. I remember it was something, an experience you had with.

You said that you didn't realize that there was something inside of the fallacy. Oh, yeah. The bone. Yeah. I didn't realize there was a bone inside. You didn't know there was a bone inside of a file? So have the followers of fallism been harassing you, been trying to get you to rejoin? They call me a suppressive person.

They call you what? A suppressive person? SP. I used to call you an impressive. They called me an impressive member. With an impressive member. But now I'm suppressive of my member. Wow.

Yeah. That's disgusting. Because they want to see it again. And what are these people's core beliefs? Their beliefs is that you should show that thing off. Interesting. So that makes sense now to all the times that you showed us your penis without us asking and definitely not wanting it at all.

Yeah. But now you've turned over a new leaf, a fig leaf, so to speak. Yeah, to show, or to close. Turn it over. You had it on the transparent side of the leaf. But now you've turned it over to the part. I've turned it to the green side. The one-way mirrored fig leaf.

Yes. And it's always greener on the other side. Thank you. So now. now these days what are your religious beliefs? The Talmud And what's that?

Isn't that Jewish? Is that just a book that I read? I'm trying to find a new one. If you can... So you read the Talmud and you said this is not for me. I don't respect this. What the hell is on this? Yeah.

Yeah. And what even is it? And you threw it in the trash bag. I threw that one out. Then I threw the other one with the cue on it, threw that out. And then what's the key? with a cue. I don't know if you can remember the name.

That doesn't have a cue on it? It sounds familiar. That sounds familiar. You got a copy of the Quran sounds familiar. You got a copy of the Quran. That sounds a big cue on the cover. It starts, it's a big cue. And then a bunch of scribbles.

And the whole book was in scribbles too. Really? Honestly, I couldn't read the damn thing. So you got one that had a cue on the cover, but inside was. That's what's so amazing about these old religious texts like the Quran is that you realize that it's different for everybody because you just open the book and it's just a bunch of scribbles so you just make up whatever you want. Yeah. That's what I did. Yeah.

And I didn't like what I made up. I was like, well, I got to start over. Do you believe in God? I used to. Really? Yeah, when I was a kid. Well, everybody believes. That's why I think it was like, no, it was like a genuine

like fear of God that I had when I was a child that I thought that if I... All right, well, let's get into our first, uh, let's get into our first news story that we have to discuss today. And I know that you guys are going to go nuts for this one. Nuts. It's the gist. My bad. Save it for the next 11 hours.

On the clicker is not working. Can we? Guys, remember the key I just found? He's being attacked. There's a click attack. Just give me a second. All right. Well, that's fine. In the meantime, we can just do nothing. In the meantime, you can keep talking about your fault.

So here's today's first story. Celebrity-based story. Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds are not a perfect match, according to a celebrity psychic. What do you guys think about this? Okay. Because I look at Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively, and I think they are together like the twining fibers. Like a face and a lamp in a face. I'm looking at him and I'm thinking, damn, he's got a nice outfit on. And then I look down and think, what the

hey? He, okay, here's, I, I, are, oh my gosh, wait a second. We're in the same damn thing. What the fuck, Gug? What the Gug? What the Gug? You are wearing the same thing.

We're wearing the same exact shirt. Here's what I'm noticing from this photo. Ryan Reynolds is staring like a complete dog at his wife's breasts. Yeah. And she is looking at the cameraman's breasts. Because it's a woman behind, or nose.

It could be the nose. I'm already seeing the difference of opinion. And the way back, that's Bill Clinton. It does kind of look like Bill Clinton. So here's some information about this. Okay.

Speaking on behalf of Spin Genie, one of our favorite websites on the just. Honigman said, Picture Perfect Virgo Blake Lively is an unusual match to passionate Scorpio Ryan Reynolds. Where Virgo is prim and proper, humble and practical, Scorpio is experimental,

uninhibited and determined. They're not often found together. But in this case, the compatibility works thanks to Ryan's ascendant. Blake has all her major planets in Virgo, so she's Virgo through and through, and Ryan gets her because his ascendant is Virgo. Oh, interesting.

What do you guys think about this? Virgo, which animal is that? That's the Virgin. Yeah, the Virgin. The Virgin Woman. The maiden. The maiden. They have a girl.

So one of them is a girl, and it's mostly buffaloes and rats and stuff. But one is a girl. And a snake and a girl? And I've just gotten some news from Joe Gleason. I've just got breaking news. What's that? I've got his information.

He says, it's going great so far with a smiley face. Really? Is he talking about Blake lively and Ryan? He must be, I guess. He must be hanging out with them. I know that. But Blake and Ryan,

I predict, I'm sorry to say. No. A death in the family. Come on. You can't. It's the gist. You can't guess that they're,

I predict it. I'm not guessing. I just predict it. I don't know. Yeah. And one of their children will be found dead in a pool. Likely. Dead pool three. It's astrology. Lively. Not a lively. Yeah. Your child is found dead in a pool. Lively of them will be Ryan like dying. Three? You're saying three of them are going to three of their children will die. It's possible. And a wolf because a wolverine chase them into the pool. I'm sorry. I think I'm a little bit confused as to what the gist is. It's news. It doesn't seem like

It's celebrity gossip and news. How's this gossip? You're predicting who's going to have a dead children? And specifically they die in a pool? Tell me that it would not be news if Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively's children all fell in a pool and drowned. Of course that would be news.

Would that be news? Yes or no. I'm asking a simply yes and no question. Yes. But this is supposed to be like we're doing a version of a show that exists. A Virgo. I don't remember now, which we're,

one is which. A Virgo of a show that exists, but I don't think a show exists where you do news and you say which celebrities' children are going to drown to death. So our next story today, a tiny alien crosses street in Santiago, Chile. Now you can see right there, next to the, there's two horses, pictures a bit blurry, and you can see a tiny alien right here. I'd like to debunk this instant. Okay, let's hear about this. This is a lizard. That's got to be a lizard. This is not. This is not a person. It has a green tail, it looks like. But I'm not sure that this is an

alien. And here's why. If this was an alien, these are, can you go back to the zoomed out photo real quick? These are police officers, right? We don't know. We don't know. Those could be horse enthusiasts. They're both not looking. These are knights.

Well, I don't think they have cars in Chile. So you're saying this is a stealth game that this alien is playing and he's trying to beat the, why wouldn't he just fly on a spaceship if you had to cross the street? that's a good question thank you I think he would be

in his spaceship if he was I could understand on the road I just don't think I'm gonna move on to our next story here

our next story is local man lifts 20 ton block by hand so you can see here this man he's got a 20 ton block he's got his hand on it

this man's name is Wally Wallington this is a real news story Wally Wallington says that he's discovered the secrets of the pyramids by moving a 20 ton block by hand

Is there a video? And there is not a video, but, uh, let me also say, hashtag Wally Wollington, hashtag the forgotten technology, hashtag megalith. Okay. So you can tweet those hashtags. Can we see the, can we see these hashtags? Well, we can see something better than that. Okay.

We can hear it because I actually have prepared for us an interview. Oh my God. With not Wally Wally Wollington, but with Wally Wollington's neighbor who has seen him lift this 20-ton block and is actually going to talk to us. today about that experience and what it was like. Okay, well, let's give them a call. Wait, how are you doing that?

I know. This is actually amazing technology. Hi, hello? Hi, are we on the line with Casper Kitten, Wally Wallington's neighbor? Yes, hi. Well, hello, my name is Casper Kitten. How you doing?

I'm good. How are you? I feel pretty good. I had a pretty good day. I had a good breakfast. Really? What would you have for breakfast? well I kind of feel silly saying that now I guess I just had some toast

just toast is good there's nothing wrong with that I just toast you have to feel ashamed I put a little butter on it and I put a little food for me oh okay so you live do you live with your parents next to Wally no no no I'm grown man I'm an old I'm an old man oh yeah live on my lonesome oh well I'm curious so living next to Wally so you This is kind of the neighbor's perspective. Right. Let me guess. He didn't get it the first time.

And I bet whenever he dropped that damn thing, it made a hell of a lot of noise. Well, I supported him with the block. I know his passion project to lift the block. And, you know, I supported him when a lot of other people in the neighborhood got, you know, more upset about it. So, you know, he's a good guy wanting and he's strong as an ox. It sounds like he's stronger than an ox. Yeah, I don't think an ox could lift a box. he's some sort of wizard thing but you know people people don't like that block in the neighborhood

they get mad at him for the block they say you know it does it all matters and not smashing around people you know people say they can't sleep so they're saying like oh there goes wally lifting that damn block again it's it's it's they got an HOA you know what an HOA is I'm not familiar they tell they have a meeting they say it's it's they say it's a bunch of house it's a bunch of neighbors get together say they don't like him lifting the block and they don't say they don't like what I got in my backyard, but I say it's his backyard. He gets to lift the block, and it's my backyard. I get to put what I want in it.

So what do you have in your backyard? Well, my backyard's filled up with medical equipment. Medical equipment, just like his, is filled up with the 24th block. I don't really know how to say this in a way other than using it this way, but I doctor freeze my wife. Okay. You guys familiar with Dr. Freeze? Yeah, I think so, from Batman.

Yeah, he froze his wife, and I froze my wife, too, about 22-odd years ago. She got malaria. I froze her. And so hopefully we get a cure for that soon. But, you know, H-O-A's teamed up against me and Wally. They sit, you know, if it wasn't for Wally's strength, I think they'd kill us. I really do. You really?

You think they'd kill you? Just simply because you have a block and a frozen wife. Have you ever considered, sorry to, sorry to interrupt, but have you and Wally ever considered creating your own counter H-O-A? You know, what we tried to do is we tried to throw a coup, like a nonviolent coup, like an H-O-A coup, where we try to get the third, we try to, you know, it's a deciding voter. It's the other day, it's the neighbor he, well, it's a neighbor next to him that really doesn't like the block. But he was trying to, you know, say, you know, I'll do the block on, you know, Tuesday, Wednesday, And, you know, we were almost there to get it like a proof. Wally was fighting real hard for half a days on Fridays,

and he was fighting for Friday night so he could do it as a party trick, and that is a big point of contention. So you mentioned that there's... I told him he flew too close to the sun. You know, he kind of flew. He got greedy with, you know, the guy. His strong man like that, he ain't good at talking to people. I try to let me do the talking.

It really sounds like maybe there's only three people in this neighborhood. Yeah, do you live in a cul-de-sac? It's a cul-de-sac. Yeah, it's three people. Well, it's five houses. Okay. We all got to vote. Uh-huh.

You know, and we're outnumbered by the other three. Gotcha. Okay. So there's the guy who lives next to Wally that hates us, damn block. Yeah. Then there's these other two people. Do you have people? Are they anti, maybe frozen?

Yeah. Is there somebody on the side of your house who is similarly upset? Well, it's both of my wife's sisters. They're both against me. They said, malaria is cured. They said, cure. You can, I said, I don't, I, they don't got it perfect yet. Okay.

I don't want her to have any side effects on the cure. I don't want any side effects. No, of course not. No, who would want to. They don't really care about the block. Actually, they don't really care about the 24 block that much. They're more worried about. Yeah.

You're their sister. So it's only one neighbor against the block and then the other two are against you freezing their sister. Right. Right. My wife, though. It's my wife. Yeah. Yeah.

It's way more your, I mean, really it's a frozen body more than it is any of these two things. Have you ever considered... She's alive. She's alive. She's alive. She was alive when we froze her at least. Yeah. Right. Yeah, I can see that. She frozen in like... A block of ice?

Yeah, she's for... You know, like, those science tubes? No. Can you... You know when you watch a movie and they got those tubes full of liquid and they're bubbling up from the body? Yeah, yeah, that one of those. I don't know what they're called either. When I went to the hospital, I just asked for science tube. They asked me to leave.

Okay. Did you have to make your own then? Well, yeah. I mean, it's PVC on the top there. And then it's, you know, I wanted to see through because you got to see if she, you know, she's frozen or whatever. So, yeah, you know, it would probably be a lot easier because, you know, I keep it outside. And, you know, summers, it gets 98, 99. I'm, you know, I'm hosing down that thing.

You know, I'm really trying to keep it. Yeah, to keep it, you know, cold. because, you know, I'll bring, I hose down the top of it because it's hot outside. You know, I don't want to get hot. Sure. And it's cold water. It's real cold water. Yeah.

But it is water. Like if you put in the pool at help, if you put, if you're right. So I'm curious. So if it froze, it wouldn't come out of the hose. I'm curious. When, uh, when you did freeze your wife, how did this process? Did she say, I want you to freeze me or did you kind of push her out of bed into a. Oh, she was against her.

This is the whole freezing thing from the start. Yeah. They don't know what's good for them, right? We went to Costa Rica. Okay, yeah. And she got malaria, you know, and I said, you know, I don't want to get malaria. You better do something about that. Well, she didn't go to the hospital.

She didn't do nothing. I said, what are you doing about that? Damn malaria. And she said, you know, I'm getting to it. I got a lot of stuff going on this week. And, you know, she went to the hair store. And she got her hair done. And, you know, I was like, you ain't done nothing about that.

Damn malaria. I'm going to do something about it. And she goes, what are you going to do? you know, Casper Kitten, what are you going to do about malaria? And I said,

I'll show you. And, you know, I showed her. I showed her. And now when it's cured and it's ready, you know, me and Wally will thaw her out.

I'll have them bring over the slab. We'll bust it open, you know, get her out of there, you know, hose her off. Can I ask a question? Are you going to drop

the Wally's slab onto the tube and that's how you're going to get her out? Is that what you're saying? Well, I'm going to tell them to hit the top of it because I have to get some, You know what, y'all, y'all ever put a basketball hole in your backyard? A basketball hole?

A basketball hole? You got to dig a, you got to dig a post hole. Oh, yeah. Put the hoop in there. Yeah, who, yeah. Basketball hole. We poured a bunch of cement, and we put the PVC pops in there. We got all the laminar stuff.

You know, we got it nice and cold. You know, one of it, one of Wally's buddies was an HVat guy. Oh, that's convenient. And, you know, he kind of helped us out there. and, you know, I was mostly, you know, I built a big tent so I could kind of hide what we were doing. You know, that's kind of my role in it. And, you know, they were helping. But, yeah, we got it all together and we froze her and, you know, we'll thar out when we get this figured out.

But, you know, it's one day at a time kind of thing. Yeah. Can I ask you a question about how old are you? Because you said you were old. I'd say, you'd say. Yeah, I'm about 63. You know, my wife's been, I froze her when I was 41. And how old was your wife when you froze her?

She's about 30, so you know, she's going to come at, well, actually, I don't really know if she's an agent. I don't really know how any of this works, really. She might come out 30. Yeah. Oh, lucky you. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Lucky you, man. Well, she'll look at me.

Well, she'll probably going to go, who's this old chunk of coal? And then I'm after, you know, she's going to be mad at me probably for a couple years for freezer her. Uh-huh. But you do think that you're going to be able to work through this? oh yeah we always got along great you know you know what the you know stuff like like this you know you just kind of you know you laugh about it we always say that your healthy marriage you got to laugh you know so you think she's going to pop out of this ice and just start dying laughing well i think we're going to smash it out with

the 20 foot block and then you start dying laughing all right well uh thank you so much for talking to us for that, you know, you know, it's honestly shed very little light on the Wally Wallington situation. But I would say has a more, even more interesting news story. Yeah. I was even aware of. Yeah, I don't know why that's not on the news and so. Yeah. Well, that's, it is on

the news now. I don't think, like, people want to hear about guys freezing their wife or stuff like that. I'm more of a private person, so let's just keep it off the news. Like, I mean, the H.O.A. is bad enough. Yeah. All right. We won't tell anyone. Yeah. No one's going to know about that. It doesn't leave this room.

Thank you so much, Casper. Thank you. All right, boys. You guys have a good one. All right. Bye, thank you. Thank you. Wow.

I couldn't believe you got that interview with him. Yeah, you know, I've had my people setting stuff up. Yeah. That was a real twist. Yeah. Yeah, I wasn't expecting that at all. Yeah, me neither. I was thinking that he was going to tell us that this guy, oh, yeah, this bastard.

He threw it. I landed on my toe, you know. Uh-huh. Not, A, I froze my wife. yeah that was really interesting really enlightening though yeah thank you to casper that is so just thank you casper let's move on to some more news story so let's get out of the the gruesome stuff i guess

and move on to the exact time day and month of the year you're most likely to die according to science that's interesting that's Sean Kate so uh for me I'm going to say by the end of the year yeah sure my birthday next year okay okay on your birthday that's unlucky Caleb, you might be right. Really? Patrick, you're a little off.

Oh, wait, you have the answers? Yeah, yeah. Okay. This is an article. It has the answer in it. The answer is Christmas Day. Oh. You were going to die on Christmas Day.

And that's a piece of news from the gist. Why? Is this true that Christmas Day is the deadliest day of the year? Yes. Drunk driving. Heart attack from New Present. Reindeer. Reindeer.

Reindeer dropping. Two. Well, the rainier's in the sky. A reindeer. When the sexual intercourse is a little too vigorous. Mm, Christmas sex. Oh, yes. Christmas.

It's the best. One of the traditions. For the kids wake up. Mm-hmm. 5.30 a.m. A little bit of sex before we get to. A little bit of sex before we bring out the foosball table. I got to drop my coal in there.

Oh, no. Stocking. You're a shit in your, what? I'm not going to drop. I'm not going to poop. Dropping coal really something. I'm not going to shit in your wife's vagina. Can I'm going to ask you guys a question.

This is not a just related question, but it's something I was thinking of when I was trying to fall asleep last night and you just reminded me of it. Okay. Do you think that people who are scat fetishists who really want to eat a woman's poop? Do you think they ever get the ick? And they're like, a woman does something that's a little weird. And they're like, ew, I don't want to eat your poop anymore. They have to.

Definitely. Wait. Oh, she likes, you like the American office? Odd future on the playlist I don't want to eat your shit anymore I'm definitely not eating your boo That's a good question Yeah

So that's something I thought of When I was trying to fall asleep And couldn't fall asleep Here's our next story This baby elephant cried for five hours After his mother rejected him Oh So here's a picture of him crying

The birth of an elephant in captivity Is a rare occurrence And is a major event For the zoo or reserve responsible in the case of Zhang Zhuang, the celebrations were cut short when his mother seemed to accidentally trample on him

and he had to be recovered from the enclosure. Assuming that the mother had just made a mistake, Zhang Zhuang was treated for minor injuries and then released back into the paddock with his mother. What the keepers saw next was utterly terrifying. As Zhang Zhuang stood near his mother, she began intentionally trying to trample on him in an apparent attempt to kill him.

The keepers quickly acted to remove him from his mother, but in spite of their best efforts to comfort him, the little elephant was completely distraught. It was at this point when he was, lying down outside of the enclosure that Zhang Zhuang began to cry and he didn't stop for five hours. The rejection by his mother appeared to have broken his heart and the comforting touch of the keeper's hands was no substitute for his mother's. I had a cat that did this when I was six years old. My cat, Smokey, gave birth to two kittens and then pushed too hard while she

was giving birth and her whole uterus popped out. Then she had to go to the hospital for it and they had to put it back in. Then when she came back, she saw her kittens, she just started fucking just swatting at them. We had to give the kittens away. So why animals so crazy. Animals are disgusting crazy creatures. This is not a good part of the gist. What's wrong with this part of the just? What's wrong with that story?

Okay. First of all, what's wrong with your story? You took a cat to the hospital. That's not a vet. Okay, well, you should have said vet. I got confused. I thought you went to the hospital. No. Second of all, I don't like that you... I don't like that you included... Yeah, this was fine. I don't like that you included this picture of this elephant.

It's crying. That is a dead It was not. I'm not going to go back. It looked dead. That was a dead animal that I had. It was not dead. Zhuge Wang survived. It's almost 1 p.m. in the morning

and I'm having to look at dead animals. It's not a dead animal. It was crying for five hours. Let me see the crying animal. I don't have to go back and show the animal again. At least a heartbroken abandoned animal. That's already, that's the worst than a dead animal. I'm not,

I'm not like Fox News or CNN where I'm going to censor the part of the news that people don't want to hear. Okay. Well, I'd like to thank you. Thank you for that. Thank you for thanking me. You're welcome. Can I see the animal one more time to make sure it wasn't dead? Aliens use sun to send message of love to all in our solar system. Whoa, they said seven. So that's actually a two here. So they're sending a two on the sun. Here's what it says. Strangely enough, I was looking at some Soho NASA images of our sun today and found this one. It has a giant number two on it in old time Roman numeral font. As you can see, that's old time Roman numeral font. At first I almost ignored it because it's impossible. Yet even my own eyes had trouble believing it. I soon remembered that the number two has ancient meanings. It's clearly a sign, one that has important meaning behind it. I quickly searched the data about two, and one site caught my attention.

The number two is usually associated to harmony, balance, consideration, and love. That makes sense. Aliens are trying to send a message of harmony, balance, consideration, and love to all in our solar system. Such alien would be considered having angel-like powers, thus making the division between alien and angel, indistinguishable. You know what I would think if an alien said two? So we have negative news, but we got positive news too. this I really I really prefer this

You know what I think though is the aliens are saying you're number two and we're number one You're a little bit cynical

in that way Yeah I guess it's my human nature I think I would have to agree with that Is that it Have you not see that this was

But this is data based on the website Angel nubmer dot org Can we go to that website Did you check it out? We don't know that this guy

knows what he's talking about And I feel like my interpretation as an expert in dissing That's a clear dising Yeah Well that's what the gist

is going to give you both sides of the hard-hitting issues. And again, what does the number two mean? Thank you for that. Thank you so much. Because we need way more of that shit in this world. All right, let's check out the next story we got here. These 12 kids and a dog were dubbed as the crime-busting heroics. Now, here's the story.

Okay. If one has grown up reading books like The Secret 7, the famous five, or even Nancy Drew, the fascination with solving crimes would be enmeshed in them. But those are fiction, stories created out of imagination. Yet, a gang of kids made a human error. and helped cops catch a couple of robbers. The crime-busting technique that they used could be considered to be extremely ingenious

and one would think that the idea was indeed quite genius, given the circumstances. The group of kids has also been named Tremendous Twelve, for you can never have a gang of kid crime fighters until their name is an alliteration. I remember seeing the story, actually. And what you're going to be even more surprised about than remembering this is that

we actually have another interview here. Really? Really? We have an interview with the robber who was caught by this human error. Yeah. Wait, from jail? From, we'll see what he's up to. I don't know.

Okay. But this is, we're going to talk to Robert Steele. Okay. The robber who steeled and was caught by these children. Hello? I hope he picks up. Hello? Hi.

Yeah. Are we on the line with Robert Steele? the criminal who was caught by the human arrow? Yeah, this is Rob. Hey, how's it going, Rob? What's going on? Oh, not much. I'm just in prison. It sounds like it.

There's a bunch of cafeteria trays trays being stroned about. Are you working in the cafe in the chow hall? I'm like, the microwave. I'm the prison mailman. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Is there a lot of letters coming for people?

yeah a lot of letters a lot of pictures of women oh I bet yeah you ever sneak a peek at those no I took an oath oh okay

I was gonna ask is it because I know that looking through others male is a felony but in prison you're already in jail you're just allowed to do that but I guess it would violate an oath

yeah it also violate an oath yeah an oath is a bigger deal than a felony yeah I think I agree I was a Boy Scout.

Yeah, that's very noble of you to say. So, uh, that's cool. You know, half those kids were boy scouts. Yeah, I was going to ask you, what exactly were you trying to steal when these kids, you know, pointed to you with their arrow bodies? So I'm, uh, I'd say an amateur teacher. Okay. All right.

You might need to elaborate just a little bit. I might need to know what you mean by that. Well, I'm a substitute teacher. Oh, okay. All right. All right. Farming school in Minnesota. I have allegedly, I had a

unprofessional relationship with the school nurse and allegedly was stealing prescription medicine for these kids. Oh, okay. So like epipens or diabetes medication. Yeah, I didn't even know they had band-aids, maybe. Yeah, well, it was mostly, you know, dexedrine, Adderall, Bivans, Foclin, Ritalin.

Jesus Christ. Yeah, no, she was great. She sounds great. She actually, yeah, she sends me a lot of letters. That's sweet. Wow, that's very nice. So how did you get caught doing this? Well, you know, basically these kids are giving this medicine

so that they can look at their phone better, you know? And essentially, Because of allegedly what happened, they ran out of their medicine. So instead of they had their phone, they made a big arrow in a field. Oh, okay. So they're all hyped up on all these amphetamines, and they couldn't see the forest through the trees. So they, instead of just pointing at you,

they started making a giant arrow. And you just happened to be at the end of this area. Well, see, when you, you know, Adderall is an amphetamine, so you're hopped up. So these kids are probably really tired, which is why they all decided to lay down. It's easier than lifting your arms. I see. Okay.

So you're really a victim of circumstance, is that the arrow just happened to be pointed towards you by who happened to be your victims, and you happen to be in the direction they pointed at. No, if I had known they were going to do that arrow, I would have moved. You couldn't see them? Is that what you're saying? Well, they're all right. Yeah, correct. Yeah. I was also laying down.

I was kind of, I wasn't making any shapes. I was just kind of laying there. And so I'm a little bit curious why they had a police helicopter coming out to you for taking some bills from a school nurse. Right. So am I. Yeah. Seems like the Minnesota, some police department, maybe spending over their budget.

You know, they got that. They got that helicopter after those protests back in 2020, and it's like they haven't had a chance to use it. So they got, you know, you got to justify the budget. So any sort of, you know, this seems like maybe this, I wouldn't even say this warranted a 911 call. The fact that it escalated to the point where they were like, fuck it, let's take the helicopter out and let's look for shapes on the ground. You know, I hadn't slept in about five days. So there might have been other things that I had done, but I don't. I think it was mostly about the medicine.

Okay, yeah. I mean, listen, you're the one who went through the criminal justice system. You'd know your case better than anybody. Can I ask also, how does one become a prison mailman? Did they approach you? You got another right guys. Really? So you kind of pulled some strings to get this gig.

Yeah, well, when you get into, look, prison is a total 90s fest. When you get into prison, basically the biggest toughest guy comes up to you. and he goes, all right, blur or oasis? And, you know, you, like, your fate kind of depends on your answer. And here's what I said. I said, you know, actually, I kind of like cult. Wow. That's interesting.

Yeah, they were impressed with that. And so they said, you want to be the mailman? And I was like, shit, all right. So the mailman is not something that, you know, the prison guards or the warden picks. It's something of the biggest strongest guy decides by asking. ask you about your music taste and if he likes your answer you get to be the mailman

okay very interesting because Paul does get forgotten in those discussions yeah it's true no it's true I think I think that uh Jarvis Cocker doesn't get spoken about enough what happens to the guys in prison that say they like the stone roses

uh they do they do all right I mean people like the stone rose yeah okay So have you had, you have you had, you know, had to be, you know, jumped into any gangs or anything? I know that's a good question. Like it's, there, there's... No, well, because I deliver all the paperwork for the gang.

So when somebody's getting jumped in, you know, they, there's forms you got to sign for all that. And so I deliver that. That's certified mail, so they need a sign and everything. So, no, I got a good relationship with most of the people. Are you a notary public for the prison? Yeah. Gotcha. So even after they fill out these forms, they still have to bring it to you and you got to watch them sign it and all this shit, right? Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Oh, this crap, sorry. Yeah, yeah, sorry for the cussing there. I know they don't like that in prison. Yeah, you're not allowed to cuss in prison. Oh, yeah, what's the rule on cussing? And also, how are you on the phone? I'm also just realizing what number did I call to reach you? Am I, you have your phone in there? Oh, yeah, this is the prison mail mail phone. you probably could have guessed that

yeah I guess that's hard I was a prison mail phone I'm sorry question I mean you gotta have something that you do while you do these boring as roots right I bet you got Temper run on there texting yeah Temporon

can you tell us a little about your Temple Run high score I have been playing Temple Run for more than a decade and I'm fucking dog shit at it I've never gotten more than a million even when I spend you know you can spend a bunch of money to get those boosts and it's like as soon as because you get those jumps where it's like it's just that little

platform you know and you got to jump twice really fast yeah I know exactly what you're talking about and that's like I mean ever since I allegedly ran out of that prescription medicine I've not been able to make those jumps so this is where the where the medicine needed to come in Gotcha. So you used to take the medicine, the focalin, the riddle in, and then you'd just say... Allegedly. Allegedly, you would take the medicine, and allegedly, you would be pretty good at Temple Run, but not that good. Not good enough. Yeah, not that good. But you get the little platforms. You get the double.

But it was at least better than you are sober. Okay, that's very interesting. Do they have the, in prison, do they have the Fruit Ninja thing? Or is it like, I'm sure you have Fruit Ninja on the phone, but do they have the best? big fruit ninja. You know what I'm talking about? Oh, he's in solitary. He's in solitary. Oh. The big fruit ninja's in solitary? Yeah, no, he's a dangerous guy. Yeah. That makes sense to me. Is the pocket god in there too? I don't know what that is. Okay. Yeah, that's a dumb question. That's an app. Yeah. That one's an app. Oh. Is it cool? It's a good app.

It's a fun game. You should get it on your mail phone if you can. Yeah. I don't know what, I'm not sure what the mail phone really entails. I don't know if it has a touchscreen and app store. But if it does, you should. It's a sidekick. It's a sidekick.

You have a sidekick? Yes, sir. How'd you get Temple Run on a sidekick? There's a guy here who's good with, you know, he's good with, he's in here because he was pirating, like, Pokemon games and shit. Oh, my God. So they're finally cracking down on that. Oh, that's pretty scary.

listeners out there careful you heard it here first yeah mr nintendo watch out yeah um what's your ringtone on your sidekick um it's the 24 like that don't don't don't that's 24 that's hard that's bad a crazy hard all right well uh thank you so much for talking to us uh robert it's interesting to hear about your case i feel It's like how I felt when they interview Adnan Syed, where I'm like, this man should be free. Yeah, we're going to put all the money we have into getting you out of there. Yeah. Oh, thank you.

I really appreciate that, guys. And who are you again? Oh, don't worry about it. Yeah, it doesn't matter. The gist. Okay. We're called the gist. Have a good one, Robert.

Goodbye. Yeah. Goodbye. Wow. I feel like we're getting different sides to each and every story. I know. There's so many amazing things. It's really amazing.

Things that I can't even. predict are happening on the gist. The sparks are flying. Sparks are going crazy. So here's our next news story here. I'm going to go ahead and advance the slide. I think I just press the button and probably mess something up. Oh, no.

So Julio, let me know when I can press it. Okay. So Gwen Stefani would like for the poop emoji to have this one upgrade. Gwen Stefani is a world famous singer who has a passion for many things in life, including music, fashion, and her family. However, what some people might not realize is that Stefan also has a huge interest in emojis. In fact, her social media posts are filled with these emojis,

and she even once shared her opinions on how the famous poop emoji could be better. Is the poop emoji really famous? It is the most famous. It is probably the most famous emoji. It's not compared to Gwen Stefani. I think the smile and then the poop are the two famous ones. I like this one. Can I get clicker access here, please?

The Gwen Stefani has incorporated emojis into her work. Stefani is such a big fan of emojis that she even made a music video incorporating them. In 2014, she released the music video for her song Spark the Fire, featuring Farrell, which was a full-on emoji party. Wow. Stefani has also teamed up with Tura to sell eyeglasses. Her brand, GX, by Gwen Stefani, has a junior collection, which has interchangeable emoji magnets to place onto the glasses themselves. According to E-News, Stephanie was inspired to do this design by her son, Zuma, who had been wearing glasses for years at this point. Zuma, Stefani.

Zuma, Stefani. Can we get next slide? Stefani showed her love for emojis once again in 2016 when she appeared on James Corden's carpool, Carrie. Frankie shared that they are right up my alley and played a game of impersonating them. Stefani was able to perfectly act out the clapping hands, lady in the red dress dancing, really angry face, and sideways kiss emojis. However, when Gordon asked her to act out the eggplant emoji, Stephanie simply pointed to Gordon and said she did not understand what it meant.

Oh. Okay. Can we get next slide? In an interview with Vulture in 2015, Stephanie discussed her love for emojis once again, saying, I just love emoji. I can't believe that I didn't make them up. It's a perfect language, a visual language, of emotion. It's exactly what we needed.

It's ageless and anyone can do it. Stefani also used that time to share her opinions on how to make emojis better, specifically the famous poop emoji. There are loads that are missing, but there needs to be like different poop emojis for different types of poops. You know what I mean? She said. However, she also acknowledged that perhaps its greatness lies in how limited it is.

Stefani noted there needs to be more variety, but then again, I think there's something cool about being limited because then you can get more creative. so Gwen Stefani is talking about how she needs more different types of poops but also it's nice to her that it's just limited because she can use different types of emojis to be creative in depicting the different types of poop

yeah she could put like green a green circle than the poop I agree completely wave than poop for diarrhea well that's what I'm saying okay so do you remember with the emoji with emoji a couple years ago they were like okay we're expanding how many skin tones there are yeah for like every single

emoji. Why have they not done, and a lot of people felt represented, I do not feel represented by that poop emoji at all. I think they should change the colors. Zero percent. My poop emoji needs to be about the size of two by two emojis. Yes. And 50 percent transparent. I want one where you put it, you put it and there's like just a little splotch, right? And then maybe 10 messages down, there's like 40 more. That is what would be the most accurate for me. Right. Yeah. My needs to Spence. There's no way. Starts as a dot and it expands and covers the whole message. You know what? And it should

be, there should be some stuck on the side of the message that is just there. And there should be, and you know what, it should also just be a little bit more realistic. Mm-hmm. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. It should be way more realistic. I'm serious.

Yeah, the poop should be more realistic. It really should. My poop doesn't look like that. What does yours look like? Probably, I'd say, if we're going to if we're going to be realistic baseline poop baseline I think maybe

a brown it sounds like too a brown tube a brown tube and with one chunk of yellow I don't know about you guys but mine doesn't have a face and mine has no face

mine has no face I've never seen one in mine that has a face almost is there an emoji that kind of looks like human poop maybe like a sweet potato emoji Chuck LaBar looks like when I wrapped toilet paper around my poop.

Red toilet paper. To get it to put it in the trash. They said, don't flush the non-flushable wipes. Don't flush the toilet paper. Fine. Well, I'll show you. If you wanted to, if you wanted me to not flush them, then you shouldn't have made me wipe my ass with them.

Exactly. So that's Gwen Stefani's take on poop emojis. Let's see. It seems like maybe the clicker is just completely lost its connection style. Maybe that box of Joe, will you? So let's just get next slide, please. So this is our last story on the gist This is our last story on the gist

Good time to refresh the coffee Oh we forgot to pray against the spiller That seriously looks like poop emoji That seriously looks like Mine would look like all of the See it don't eat it after you say that At least wait a little bit to eat it Give it a second

Let it breathe It's clearly a donut Oh you know hey Your hands out of here I'm getting my own So this is the final story I got for the gist We can maybe discuss this. These creatures had fallen victim to a lightning strike.

There's a second dead animal that you're showing on the gist. It's not a dead animal, it's a tree. Oh, I just saw the animals. You were a psycho. These creatures had fallen victim to a lightning strike. You look like a psychopath. You have no reaction to dead. This is like 15 dead.

It's like 20 something. Those were dogs. It's 20, in the 20s, I think. Yeah, there were dogs. You still don't eat a donut. The gist is the most immoral show I've ever been on in my life. What are you talking about? We interview interesting people.

I like that. We talk about the stories. Every other story. The headlines. Interesting interview. Picture of a dead one of God's creatures being hurt. This is the first time I've shown a picture of dead animals lying in a forest. You can't argue with that.

This is the first time I'm shown 25 dead mammals. Well, we don't know the story yet. They could be alive. We don't know. These creatures had fallen victim to a lightning strike. And then they survived it? Could be. See?

It says fallen victim. But let's discuss. You can fall victim and survive. Plus, we don't even know what they are. They're just creatures. Here, click next. They're cows. There's nothing.

That's it. That's the story. That's the whole story. This is the end of the gist. Yeah, that's the story. No, let's talk about that for the next five minutes. Okay. You made this the last story?

There's no. Yeah, this is a story. Are we going to call one of the cows? Are we going to call one of the cows? Are you crazy? They fell victim to a lightning strike. So they are dead. They're dead.

I don't know. You just admitted they're dead because they can't call us. They're likely dead. You better call a cow right now. I don't have a, okay, I'll call a cow right now. Don't call his mom. Don't call my mom.

You don't even have her number. Yes, I do. I mean, I took her number out of your phone a couple years ago. Don't call me. Okay, yeah, I'll go ahead and call a cow. Don't do it, man. Don't do it.

Don't call a cow. Do not call a cow. Who are you looking for? I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous, man. Who are you calling? Yeah, I'll call a cow. Wait, you're getting a phone call, Pat.

Hello? Hello? Okay. So is that what you wanted from me? No. I think you might have his name wrong in your, what the hell of that? I don't know what that was. The fact that...

That was the bleep. You tried to call a cow and you accidentally called Patrick. And the C and the P are very far away from each other. Yeah. P, A, T, R-C-K. Huh? Contacts are alphabetized by the last name. Not mine.

C-N-D. She thought my last name was Cow. Doran, Cow-in. I have first name alphabetization. Me too. I didn't know you could turn that on. I would like to turn that on on mine. Turn it on, man.

Turn it on right now. Let's see it. I don't want to go into my content. It's really hard. I don't know if I have that on. So you guys have any comment on this last story? I mean, we're, yeah,

save the cow. It's a freak. Don't swear. Okay. Don't swear. Okay. Just, man, I feel like it's way worse

to show a picture of a dead animal than it is to use custody. Okay, like you don't watch the cook. Though you don't watch cooking shows every day and you see so many dead animals. Well, those are dead. You don't see them die.

Yeah, but. You don't see these. These die either. You see the moments after they're dead, though. I see them. You don't know how long. 101. 101.

That's good. That reminds me in that video. One no one. When you have one. When you're one. When you're one. When you're one. But seriously, you have nothing to say.

Faces are all really fun. When you're one. Looking right at the sun. When you're one. When you're one. when you're one people are older when you're a one guy

you're just a baby people see old when you are one when you're one play with the dog so much fun when you won people are one

when you're young Young. Yeah. That's pretty good. Well, that's the gist. There it is, there it is. Hour one down. Hour one done.

Hit the theme song, Julio. I don't know how that happened. I don't know how that happened. It really scared me. It's my flap. Is the theme song playing right now? What's going on? If it is, we can't hear it.

It played. Oh, it played. We were talking over it. I guess. Okay. Go pee. All right. Patrick,

we weren't able to hear whatever it was. Whatever the theme song was. Patrick told us that these jeans that he got or the, go pee. Go, bro. You're wasting time. Go, man. Go.

Okay. Patrick told us that these jeans are based on the oldest genes of all time. The first genes he said. So when he gets back at like, look at those jeans. Yeah, he said these jeans are based on the first jeans. But let's see. What is next?

Oh, okay. Hour two. Ladies, you might want to leave the room because stuff's about to get kind of PG-13 man show style. This is the boobs versus butts debate. Brough. So I'd like to start a little bit off by. asking you, Cameron, what is your history

of boobs and butts? Well, I know about them. What do you know about them? They're both round. They're sexual objects to many. But not you?

Well, I'm just saying to many because you never know. They can be used for other things too. Like what? To me, it's 100% sexual all the time. It don't matter what's coming out of there.

I'm in it. You don't care. where, wait, any part of the body or both of these two thin? Yeah. Anything is sexual to you, 100% of the time. Yeah. Like, I have trouble not...

I saw you get distracted there when I raised my hand. Sorry. Yeah. No, for me, I have basically the issue where in a cartoon if Sylvester the cat was stranded in the ocean

where he's going to look and he's going to see a ham leg, ham hawk turkey leg. This is anything. I could see... So you feel like you're on a sexual old desert island. Yeah.

And everything is looking... Everything's looking like a body. Gotcha. Okay, you're a dog. I didn't realize this about you. Yeah, so Sylvester is a cat. A lot of people get surprised, I think, people who come to our shows, because you're so, you know, you're a very timid kind of guy.

Sure. And you're kind of a nerd. And then they meet you, and you're just absolutely a fucking sex addict. Yeah. It's just not even so much that I want to do things, just I want to talk about them 100% at the time. Yeah. I remember somebody came.

up to us after a show they asked for a t-shirt and he said what's your favorite position a fuck yeah it's i mean i personally i'm the type of guy i'm like when i'm going for small talk i'm not i'm not talking about the weather yeah and by the way for breakfast this morning boring because i get you because i don't like that there's this kind of this puritan idea of oh you can't talk about sex casually it's like sometimes i want to fucking talk about the smell of pussy right it's like that's going to be more interesting of a topic than like absolutely What's inside a molecule? Yeah.

I hate that small talk question, man, that popped up the last couple of years. What's inside a molecule? It's like, oh, the atoms? Yeah. What's inside a vagina? My dick? Yeah. That's what we should be talking about.

I'll tend to my fingers at my dick. One at the same exact time. One at a time. You got some big fingers, daddy. Boom, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo. Every single is one. And I'm ready. Saying, pow.

Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Doing that. Working your way through. And then the combinations, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Three, one, two, two. Programming like a punch card. Yeah, hold on. Woman orgasms. That scene from Bruce Almighty where he's doing. What do I this scene? I don't know what I walked in too. Hey, I got a scene for Bruce Almighty for you.

Remember that? He does that to Evan Almighty. Yeah, that's what I, Evan Almighty really switched up. I can never remember which is which. Which one is Steve Carell. You're fucking kidding me. I only saw the Steve Carell one. What?

You've never seen Bruce Almighty? Yeah. That's interesting. So Bruce Almighty is Jim Carrey. Yeah. Okay. I've only seen Evan Almighty. Bruce is Fierce.

Yeah. Evan is Sevkin. When I watched this movie as a kid, and I begged to watch Evan Almighty. And I didn't even know there was a different one. I don't know. I thought it was funny. I thought it would be funny. My parents didn't want to watch it. I thought it was funny. Well, Evan Almighty is actually kind of explicitly Christian. Yeah.

Bruce Almighty is like this, you know. Bruce Almighty is like, it's basically the mat. I mean, every movie makes it the mask. Yeah, I just, I didn't know that there was another one or that there was a difference between two of them because I thought there was one. That's really crazy to make a sequel to Bruce Almighty and then put the guy who's barely in it. as a villain, as the main character. He's like an annoying bitch. He's in Bruce Almighty? Yes.

And he's like the villain. And his name is Baxter. And then he gets turned into God next. Yeah. Baxter's the dog from Anchorman. Baxter is the dog from Anchorman. He plays Moses. Yeah.

The dog plays Moses? No. The dog is named Baxter. Yeah. His name is Evan Baxter, right? I don't remember his last name. Almighty. His name's literally in the title.

But it becomes Almighty. So that's kind of the two. That's the twist, and that's why he becomes God, too, is because they find out that they're brothers. They both have the last name Almighty. So they don't realize until the end of the first movie that they're both Almighty twins. Morgan Freeman. This movie also was the first time I ever knew who Morgan Freeman was. Because I remember, I just, this, I just was unlocked this.

I distinctly remember looking at the DVD case. I think I got it from the library maybe. And I was like, can we watch this? And here's interesting. Let me tell this, man. Oh, sorry. Morgan Freeman, I look at the K, DVD. case, I see the name Morgan Freeman

playing God, and I was like, they made God a girl? Because the name Morgan, I didn't know who it was. So I imagine my surprise when I saw who it really was. So you're opening up that DVD, putting it into a DVD player, hoping to see a female God wearing it too. Well, I was hoping not to. His name is Evan Baxter.

I did remember that. Okay, nice. But here's something interesting. You probably wouldn't like this movie because all the animals are alive in it. All the animals. I liked it. Yeah. All the, well, there's actually, everybody dance now.

There's a whole thing here on the animal welfare on their Wikipedia. It says that PETA accused the film of using animals that had been previously abused, two chimpanzees, two chimpanzees who appeared in the film. Cody and Sable were surrendered by their owner to settle a lawsuit. Who fucking cares if a movie uses animals that were previously abused, so they can't work anymore? Mr. Animal Abuse over here. What are you talking about? An animal gets abused and it's never allowed to be in a movie again. Yeah, that's sad for the animal.

Animals want to be in movies. Yeah. But you know who directed this movie or wrote it? Steve Odekerk who made Kung Powell. This man has no stranger to animal abuse. He beats up a cow and Kung Powell. That's true. And he beats up a thumb.

Jimmy Neutron. Yeah. He did Jimmy Neutron? He's kind of a low-key film goat. He is a goat. Steve Ode-Kirk. A low-key film goat certified. He's up there with Kubrick.

Oh, yeah. Kubrick sucks. Kubrick Hitchcock. Steve Odeke sucks, too. Oda Kirk is number one. Oda Kirk, not Odenkirk. I know, man, why are you looking at me? I'm not looking at me. What are you talking at you?

I said Odecirk. I'm not looking at you. Odecirk, not Odenkirk. I said Odeker. I'm not saying it in a music store. OEDE. He's going to psycho right now. OEDE.

He's already losing it. OEDE. I got them all hyped up thinking about boobs and butts. Yeah. And animal abuse. I never have more than half a cup of coffee a day. So you're going psycho. I'm like one and a half right now.

Yeah, my legs are shaking from the box of jail. But I was going to say, I thought that they were related. Bob Odenkirk and Steve Odekeard. That would be too much. Then I learned later that they're not. That would be God would have tipped his hand too much. To put that, to put both all that family. That family on earth.

Well, that his brother Bill was a Simpsons writer. Which ones? Odin. Odin. Bob and Bill. Really? Uh-huh. Why are you talking?

like that. You're talking like an old guy like on the other lawn. Yeah, you're trying to teach... Yeah, and the trash goes out on Mondays now. That's how you're talking. Stop. I'm not talking weird.

Talk normal, man. What do you think about boobobs, well, two of them, plus two bunches. Well, I love Boobo Odenkirk in his movies. Mike. Boob Odenkirk. Who the hell is Boob Odenkirk?

It's him, but he's got breasts for a face. Okay, I'd like to retract that cricket. That's funny. I like Boob Odenkirk. Can someone put him in the lower Chiron? Can we have Booboadenkirk right there? Maybe have him walk. The quiron?

And when he walks. Is that the word? Oh, I don't think we have a chiron. And when he walks is going on right now. and then it's, yeah, jiggle physics on his face. Yeah, as he walks. That would have been amazing if Boobodenkirk walked on the screen. If we pre-planned every topic so we could have an animated.

We have Boo Boobo and Kirk walk by the screen. Julio, I sent you a slideshow. So this is the booms versus butt debate. I wanted to. Here, you can try using the clicker. I don't know if it's working on it. Make sure you don't click around on this page because you're going to just get a lot of Evan Almighty picks.

Yeah, I would like to see. Would anyone have a problem with that? his beard. Yeah, that's funny. It's a funny movie. Remember when he sits next to a bear and a chimpanzee and a lion and another lion and two birds and two flamingos? You are in an interesting place because I might agree with you that it was a funny

movie if I had never seen Bruce Almighty. But I've seen Bruce Almighty. This is also probably this is an early, this is also an early foray for me into funny movies. This is probably one of the first movies I watched that was like a live action funny comedy movie that wasn't like a cartoon what year did that come out like 2007

oh okay that's what I was gonna guess so this I probably it's not even at that point most likely it's not even that I saw hadn't seen Bruce Almighty it was that I had never seen like a comedy thing that was not like a Disney Channel oh so adult humor

I don't even are dancing around but you know what I mean that type of movie yeah I see a movie that's more cerebral yes exactly yeah it's geared towards a more mature It didn't have just the basic Disney. By the way, I hate this Disney humor.

Disney needs to literally, Disney, Walt Disney, kill yourself. Fuck off, Walt. If you were alive, to your racist ass, I'd say, fuck off, Walt. Yeah. Fuck you, Disney. Yeah, piece of shit.

Hey, check this out. I made Mickey's ears. And your parks aren't that good. How are you racist and yet you ruin Star Wars by making it? Well, that's a different. That's Kathleen Kennedy. Oh, Walt Disney didn't do that? No.

He's been dead for many years. I thought he woke to Star Wars. Star Wars or something. No. Well, his corporation did. But if it wasn't for him,

if it wasn't for him, yeah, his cronies wouldn't have done it. I'm not surprised it was cronies. It was cronies. And that's how I'm not surprised

that Walt Disney had a corporation. Do they really freeze his whole body so he could see Corey Feldman? Yeah. So he could see Corey Feldman?

Isn't that what? Charlie Sheen? Kurt Russell. Yeah, his last name where last words were Kurt Russell. When Kurt Russell was a child actor.

He could become, Kurt Russell's old boyfriend when he gets older? Yeah, he wants to be Kurt Russell's old boyfriend. That's crazy. Can you imagine you die and you say someone's name?

Random person's name? Completely delirious. Your brain is like firing off random synapses. It means, you don't even know what you're saying. Imagine if he did that and Kurt Russell

has to think about that for the rest of their lives. Yeah, and you know that that just... He didn't even say Walt Disney Jr. Yeah, he said... I bet that Kurt Russell's entire life that has hung over

every family get together, every Thanksgiving. Just sitting in the air at any point in time somebody could say, so you were Walt Disney's last words before he died and just ruin the whole night. Just him just freaking the fuck out, thinking about that. I mean, that would scare me, man. Yeah, me too. That's really, who's the equivalent of Walt Disney

that you would do that to you these days? Donald Trump. Donald Trump's last name were, his last name was Caleb Pitt. That would be even scarier. Donald Caleb Pitts. If he changed his name, that would freak me out, man. That'd be scary.

I'd have to change my name. Yeah, you could take Trump. It's freed up. That's true. Caleb Trump. So I looked around to see what people were saying about this debate. It's one that has raged on, you know, the entire lifespan of every male on earth. So this is the man show right now.

Yes, this has been kind of the man show. Nice. So it lasted about the boobs versus Bud's debate. It was about 20 minutes where it was just Adam. and then Eve came along and that kind of put it into it and then because he didn't have any he couldn't say it in front of Eve

yeah about this and then he had his sons and they were having a debate but the only girl on earth was their mom yeah so then they had to fuck their sisters to make more girls so that there's yeah so that they could actually have the debate and it wasn't weird here's a

and let me know if you already if you cover this already and I'm jumping the gun let me know and we can we can put a fork in it but isn't it interesting to think about the possibility that maybe Eve, you know, had gigantic boobs, but like a flat butt and this could have completely affected the entire debate because there's only one. That's true. Everyone's like, yeah, boobs are so much bigger than butts.

Yeah. That's a fact. But then some lady with Cain and Abel and they're sitting around. Exactly. One of their sisters. They're eating apples. And they go, wait a second. My sister is a huge butt.

Hold on. That's different from my mommy. My sister's butt is so awesome. My sister looks like mommy upside down. Why the fuck? Yeah. See, God, I've only had to go back to the beautiful garden and stop you from doing that. Yeah.

It would have been settled. And then she grew an extra rib? I wish that I could go back in time and introduce an alien woman to the Garden of Eden so they didn't have to fuck their mommy and sister. I agree. What kind of alien? Gleeblorg. Yeah, some kind of.

ugly blurk. It disgusted me so bad as a kid that they had to fuck their fucking sisters and, ew. Yeah. It's horrible. I don't think I would then. I wouldn't go through with it. No. I wouldn't go through with it. Yeah, back then they're all dirty. Not only, not only, not I would say, and I'll be like, sorry, but

humanity ends here. Yeah. It would have been one generation. It would have been one generation. Repeating crossbow. And also yeah, Adam's having to fuck his fucking rib. Yeah, that is. That's the weirdest part about everything. Why is my fucking a rack of ribs? Now that's not. No, no, no, no. That's a pig's rib.

The meat part? Yeah. Yeah, you're not going to fuck the bones. Yeah, just... You could fuck the bone. I mean, no, you could, so I would prefer to fuck the bone. Just clear the marrow out. Or just, like, make sure there's a lot of meat, so I'm not rubbing against the bone at all.

Not the ribs. Not the ribs we're talking about. We're talking about elephant ribs. Oh, okay. I'm going to need elephant ribs. I'm going to need some after this. Some mouse ribs. Be hungry for some mouse.

Some mouse. You like mouse or elephant ribs more. I think I like elephant ribs more. Yeah. personally. Don't get me start out. Because I always 600. Mouse ribs are such a good snack in between meals. Yeah.

Grab a mouse by the tail out of the wall. And you know the best part? You know the best part about it is? When you get to the bone, got a little toothpick. Mm-hmm. Get that rib meat out of your teeth. I do mouse bones between my fingers.

I'm mouse-erine. Damn. I'm mouse ribbering. That's amazing. Okay. I tried to do elephant ribarine, but it's too big. It's too big.

You can only get one in between the whole thing. Well, you give me that. slide show you're at more x23 yeah uh first i stopped at the lincoln park association okay because i was thinking what is the place where men are going to congregate the most men like music because we understand it on a deeper level than females yeah so i went to the lincoln park association so lincoln park forum i think i have the results of it here wait can i do this yes i can't but or boobs guys interesting so according to link i think i put all the polls in here according to the lincoln park Association, but is taking it 53.3 to 46.7. And that's only two votes. That's only by two votes.

It's taken in by two votes. It's very close. And this is the entire 30-person Lincoln Park Association that has voted on this. Actually, this is a massive forum, and they have an entire section of their forum. Like, you know, it'll be like news or whatever. Yeah. Needs. Chester. It's just called Chester. And you click on it, and it broke my heart. I spent about an hour going through all the Chester stuff because. Because you thought it meant boobs. I thought it was a cool new word for boobs. Like, damn, she's got a big Chester.

Yeah. Yeah. Which would make sense. Chesters. Chesters. In fact, it was a man who committed suicide. And he joined. It was a tragic member of the 44 close.

Chest or Buddington. Whoa. Chester Buddington. Wow. It's the eternal question. That is true. Chester butts. That's what they should call it.

Chester. Somebody said, female nipples with curved perky sacks of fat are the breastest and Kate Upton heart emoji just emphasizes my stance And this is from the bat of Gotham Yeah he's a super VIP Sacks of fat got to be one of my sexiest items I don't even got to be attached or human

Oh no no no no Just getting a plastic bag of fat But it better be perky Let's see does this work I just got horny at the thought of Kate Upton Wow Philip God break down the door That's got to be some kind of lyric

Yeah And now HLTV Do you guys know what the I can't do you know what is HLTV Half-Life I don't I I actually don't know what it stands for But it's like a counter strike forum

Okay Where it's crazy European guys Yeah I can't believe we've never gone to this website It's an amazing place So they said here, I mean, this thing's all fucked up. But yeah, so his ass or boobs, ass, ass, ass,

girls ass, says Joe Rogan. Says Joe Rogan. He says, what flag is that next to Joe Rogan's name? I don't know, it looks like a hospital. So Joe Rogan from his hospital bed getting his injection. They're giving him, he's saying,

girl's ass, you've got to specify. Yeah. Because he just, well, yeah, now all the other guys. Exactly, that's a masterful social technique. Yeah. He just turned everybody. Yeah, yeah. And one word.

You mean girls' ass. Yeah, the clicker's not doing anything. Oh, okay. You can go next. Love. Reported gay. That's awesome. Reported gay by your mom.

Your mom did something wrong. Wow. Has reported this guy gay. And they love hard style. Yeah. Okay, next. Soul. Oh.

I thought that. So this was actually a little bit of a sweet turn. Is that the Freemasons? No, that's, I believe, Astralis. These guys all show love for their country and whatever team they support. Okay. This guy's Polish. The next one also says soul, I believe.

The soul. By Techninemeister. Damn. Damn. He's a fanatic fan from the UK. And the next, tits like a cow, says this Brazilian guy. Okay. That's not what you usually hear from Brazilians.

Every gay is replying as. Maybe that's why they gay, because man has ass, no tits. I like tits. Diarrhea from India. Diarrhea from India. Diaryia from India. Woman's ass. Yeah.

Calavitu. That's a Greek flage. Ass is overrated a.F. It fucking farts. Boops doesn't do that. That's from I'm your fat folder. Mmm, fart. I'm always smell my own taste good.

Plus one, ass stinks. Thug doctor. I thought doctor who's a Navi fan. This is from Deviant Art. Okay, these are going to be interesting. There's only just one thing on here. These were all just people being like ass, XD, the, doing that kind of thing. They were keeping that alive.

But I just found one comment I liked on here. So this is the pose. Okay, so I'm a new to this whole forum thing, but I thought it'd be fun to try it out for the lulls X3. So which is it that you guys slash girls prefer butts or boobs for both sexes? Use your imagination tongue out emoji. And this guy posted, butts and boobs are okay, but I prefer brains. And then this guy says, I just read this like it was Eric Ray.

You're the first one to say that man, that man, I respect you. I like that. It's the X3 to make a face, but it could be man, I respect you times three. Man, I respect you. Man, I respect you. Man, I respect you. This was just very Eric to me. You're the first one to say that, man, I respect you.

Man, I respect you. It's not the same. No. If it was on the outside of the body, then we could talk. Do you realize how hot a brain would be if we're talking about a girl's leg? If we're talking about scalp, okay. Now I'm getting on board.

I'm interested. That's right. But a brain, I'm never going to see that. No. No, I'm not one of those freaks who opens women's head up. when they have sex with them. Absolutely. No, I leave them alone.

Yeah. I don't want to see that shit. When I'm having sex, I just do the sex and then I'm done. Yes. I'm not going to take apart their body. Later. I'm saying, I'm out. I'm going to the bathroom.

Oh, please can you take the head off of my body? It's my house. I say, I'm out. Yeah. Later. Later. Bye, girl. I'm not touching your brain tonight.

No. I don't want to see what's in there. And I'm not one of the guys who's going to have sex under a lead blanket with an X-row machine running. Yes. It's cringe. No. If we're doing that, I'm not wearing the lead blanket.

It's heavy. It makes it hard for me to thrust. Exactly. And also it feels like cheating. I have difficulty to move my hips anyway because of my leaky, greaky joints. Yeah. You have dysplasia. I have rust.

You have hip dysplasia. I have something that's called bone rust. Bone rest? Yeah. It's when you eat too much. And you get rust. You get bone rust to eat the wrong foods. It's like a over calcium posit or something?

What foods did you eat? Rust. You can't eat rust. It's really bad for you. I did eat it and it's going to get onto my bones. That's really sad. I have a stomach. that has holes in it, like a watering can spout, and the rust is going to come through.

I would say just stop eating that rust. Yeah. I mean, I did stop, but I'm going to have to eat a rust removal kit if I want to get rid of it. You know you should try is WD 40. Yeah. So I have tried that and that actually tastes really good. Yeah. It looks yummy.

It looks like there should be more foods that come out like that. I know someone's going to say cheese whiz. Cheese Whiz doesn't come out like that. It doesn't come out like that. It doesn't come out like that. I'm just about to say that. They need to make a drink. Whip cream is close, but it needs to shoot.

It needs to shoot out. There needs to be more air. Shooting foods. And it needs to have a nozzle that you apply. It shouldn't just come out of the top like this. Oh, my God. A whipped cream thing with the twistable nozzle. Yes, exactly.

You can get a mist of cream. So that like, wow. You should be able to attach, yeah, one of the hose guns. But there should be like a cheese whiz thing. Like, what if you're trying to get it in the mist is so good? If you're trying to get the cheese and a hard to reach. part of your mouth and you can't just reach it like that. Oh, an extender? Yes, something

that it can extend like the WD-40. So you can get it deep into your mouth. Or you can put, that's how they could make. They make burgers that have cheese inside the patty. That's so true. Why don't, if they had an extender that could poke in somewhere, they could make burgers that have cheese inside the bun.

Imagine a cheese whizcan with a spyglass style top. That you could look in and see the cheese. You can look in and see all the cheese forming. Because that's true. You never know. You never know how much cheese is left in that. You never know how much whipped creams left in a whipped cream? That's like when you go to the store with your son

and you let him look at the lobsters in the tank where you pick one out. Yeah. You give them the cheese and look at the cheese. We're about to eat that. That's for dinner, young one. We're going to have that. That's going to be for dinner. It's going to be good.

I take my son to the fridge and I open the fridge and I show my own here. We're going to eat that later. My dad, yeah, my dad, I have a lot of fond memories of my dad showing me the cheese whiz and the fridge. Showing me all the different ingredients. Yeah. See these buns? Those are going on. Those are going on the burgers.

Wait, what are they going on? Check this. Open the drawer. There's a cow. It's a package of frozen beef. I make him put his hands and face up to the deli drawer and look through the plastic. You should take out the Bubba burgers and put them in a big fish tank so you can pick them out. You can pick it.

Yeah. I want that one. The paper looks super stuck to that one. I want that shit. All right. There's a couple other people online. We're talking about boobs versus butts. Boobes versus Butts map.

This is from actualized.org, the self-improvement forum. This has been started by Schizophrenia. Okay. So he shows a map, as you can see here. I guess I'm African then, L.O.L. Boobes versus butts, popularity of boobs and butts worldwide. So this is a very interesting map to me. He could have said he was American.

Well, maybe he's African. Okay. I don't get why he's saying, I guess I'm African then. Is he saying he's that one sliver of Africa that's boobs? I'm African. He's, okay, so he's, you missed it. Yeah. He's saying, he's showing the boos or some butts.

He says, I guess I'm African, because I guess most of Africa says butts, but then all of the United States says butts as well. But Canada says boob. So maybe he was born in Canada. What's the one, what's the one blue in Africa? Did we already cover that? No, I believe that is Egypt.

That's Egypt. Yeah. they've been looking at pyramids their whole lives which look like pointy boobs. Oh my God. You actually figured it out instantly. I'm trying to see if there's any surprises on here. Hey, the UK man, these girls have giant bundas over

there. I'm surprised that they like boobs more. Well, Greenland, look at that. They all love or Iceland. You know what I'm also noticing is that Brazil or no, is that as, what is that? That's a long. Peru. No. That looks like Doug. That's what I was going to say.

That looks exactly like Doug. Identical Doug. Isn't that crazy? What is this Doug country? That's Dougian. That's why I pointed it out. It looked just like Doug to me. The blue Doug in South America.

Tell me that's not fucking Doug. No, I know, but what country is it? I'm so glad the chat is, you can't see the chat. Argentina. If we could see the chat. Doug and Tina. People are going to be really mad about that. Australia says boobs.

And you know why? Because they're the opposite of America. America says, Mexico is butt. Mexico's very butt. Julio, how do you feel? I mean, you're you... I fuck with butts.

Okay. Ew. You fuck with them. I fuck with butts. Ew, man. You're nasty. You dirty dog. I'm surprised that they even, you know,

all the way up in the Arctic Circle are having an opinion on this, to be honest. Yeah, what is the North Pole? I feel like they'd be more interested in survival. None of it are... Yeah. they really like the ring of fire they like boobs up there

well because that's the amazing thing about boobs they said butts I'm having none of it even you hate your hand even if we go to the furthest depths of the reaches of the earth we still find people who can instantly answer this question yeah I like boobs I like bugs see look what I mean

blacktop background still says Mr. Toilet man so where is the Amazon rainforest that's in South America and that is South America South America No I mean it's predominantly

Butts Isn't there the You look back there To check The behind You looked at your own butt I looked at my butt In the reflection

From the wall In the shadow But isn't there There's tribes in the In like the rainforest Uncontacted Uncontacted Do you think they contacted them

For this? I think you have to Yeah You know But this map is very Top-Less level. I'm not getting into it. Like, we're not divided by states either. No, that's true. Though I am seeing one dot in, in America, in the United States. Do you see that?

Yeah, that's Las Vegas. There are boobs over there. Yeah. The one thing, the boobs. There was such a concentration of boobs. The stronghold. That, yeah, it doesn't go past that. See, I would think that that the U.S. would be like, like, Hellman's mayonnaise, whereas Hellman's on the East Coast, but it's best foods on the West Coast. Which coast do you think is going which? I think East Coast is straight up butts. Yeah. And I think L.A. is straight up land of the boob job. That's what my dad called it.

Yeah. Bobs. See, that's why there's such an interesting dichotomy in Miami. And I like that Alaska, I like that Alaska is loyal to the United States, and they're not just going to follow the Canadian example. Yeah. I mean, that's what you should. Even despite being so far away, they're going to say, buck it, you know.

The battles at the border between Alaska and Canada, these women. It's bobs. Yeah. Women are bad. Bouncing the moves and butts against each other. That's what actually creates as a physical border. Tectonic plates. Yeah.

It's created over time. There's a mountain range now. Yeah. Because of the sharpness of the bouncing range. A bouncing range. I'd love to go to the bouncing range and fire up a couple jumps. Let's go. That's a great idea.

The bouncing rate. It's sky zone, I guess. No, a bouncing range is where you go to watch other people bounce. Yeah. You have a bunch of strippers. It would be a strip club. Yeah. Who are on something that Adam Savage created that shoots people up.

Why do I know he would be so into creating? He would love doing that. He already has created that. He's like, oh, I guess we could use this for a myth or something. He's got like a file cabinet. He pulls the schematics out. He's just already got it right there.

I would hate to see the things that he draws when he's a loan by the inventions that he's creating. Was he ever exonerated? For what? For being the blob? Yeah. I don't know if anybody knows and the chat knows about the blob. Look up Adam Savage's blob.

We're not going to discuss it on the episode. Yeah, we're not going to say it, but that's homework. Somebody accused him. Or I guess the cues or it's alleged. It's alleged that he called himself. It's alleged that he called himself the something blob. Yes, yes. So go check out the verbing blob.

The verb. It was a mad lib. Do you remember that? Do you remember that commercial of the verb? It's what you do. no I just remembered that commercial are you thinking it was a Nickelodeon commercial

it was on Nickelodeon all the time and it was supposed to be like a a thing that got kids outside oh yeah that was a big industry it was a like commercials and stuff that were just like stop watching go outside that's like the damn stay inside that piece of shit watch Jake Paul do you remember the Wii would have that thing where it's like you've been

playing for so long you should go outside fuck you we yeah that's fucked up I bought you I'm supposed to get exercise from you Yeah, I'm playing guitar hero. This is a full arm exercise. Yeah. And it's a, and my heart's racing right now. I'm actually my cardio, because guess what?

I'm a fucking rock star. Yeah. I just got, you can't tell me what to do we. You can't tell. I just did stranglehold on hard. I'm a dancer. I just did. They should have had that guitar hero dancer mode.

Well, they had just dance. Well, they just did know, but they should have implemented just. They should have a guitar band where it was like one person is dancing. Yeah. That's a great idea. like Bez from Happy Mondays or like the fucking guy from Mighty Mighty Boss tone

like every stop band had just a guy that would just be on stage like yeah a jumping dancer I agree that would have been a good idea that is a good idea

they should have had that they should have had the dancer they should have the vibes guy yeah let's see there's uh I think there's a couple more slides here of breaking down all the different things oh yeah

human consciousness expanding and this is a breast expansion video which I didn't even know those are expanded okay bragger seen the biggest boobs ever much. You can just put breast expansion on YouTube like this? And it gets

bigger. The boots do. Well, they're not naked, yeah. Is the video in the this is the same as it's like arms? Yeah, it's basically a workout video. It teaches you how to expand your boots. And this is allowed on YouTube and we're not going to get taken down on YouTube. Okay. So we can show it right now is what you're saying. You're

going to show it. This is the first time you've ever been concerned on the, you ask us to play porn every day. I don't ask you to play porn every day. Pretty clearly do. Okay. Next thing, because Patrick's getting scared of these giant boobs. I'm scared of... I have a hair kick. So suppose plenty of people would think I'm weird.

I can literally get off touching some beautiful soft long hair. I like this Peter Rousting quote there. So this guy goes third way. Chives 99. A farmer. He gets off simply by touching hair. Oh, that's actually such a nice photo. Well, not just any hair.

Get off touching some beautiful, soft long hair. Soft long hair. I mean, if you're going to get off with a hair, I feel like it should be beautiful. Look at how tranquil that photo is. I'd like to be stuck in that. Yeah, me too. Next one. I love doing oil massages on girls before fucking them hard and hear them moaning.

And then Leo Gura says, ugh, the crazy. And he's looking up at him like. Yeah. Yeah, I just love these two, these two different photos. Yeah. It looked like they were taken by the same guy. That's solid and liquid snake. Yeah.

This guy looking up is so awesome. And I think that might be the end of that. You can check through, but I have something. Oh, no. Yeah, so I just wanted it. I don't have much from this, but I had to get, Of course, the bodybuilding community. They are overwhelmingly for ass, 77.42 to 22.5.6.

Well, you know what it is? It's the bodybuilding community, and you can work your butt out to make it bigger. You can't really, you can't get your boobs bigger without either eating food or getting implants. Yes, exactly. But your butt you can grow naturally through exercise. Yeah. Yeah. You could grow your butt by, I mean, you could pump it full of air.

Yeah. That's a simple. I mean, that's simple. but these guys are so dedicated that they're like you can build it you can build your butt back better I gotta fix my phone

I have to do that like 20 times a day drop it on the thing you should get a new phone it made it worse yeah I can't believe that wait how did that make it worse slamming your phone up there was it's gonna come it's gonna start working

hold on oh guess what it worked it's not working it's trying to delete all my apps so how jealous are you guys see if there's any more slides on there oh yeah ass or titty grass city grass city grass city ass titty

see that's what I was thinking is that it rhymes so they probably have an opinion on this this is in the chill out zone ass or titty's in the chill out zone this guy says okay so I haven't seen this third before so here we go it's pretty self-explanatory do you prefer a nice ass or a nice set of boobs and why

okay I like it all man I love a tight petite body with small breasts a thick voluptuous body with large breasts and a big ass I just ugh

thanks now I'm eating with a bonner and this guy posts this with a full mirror selfie photo smokehound autodidact the self-taught

smoke out his meal has been ruined because he has a boner now fuck I hate what I'm eating and I get a boner my meal's completely ruined I might as well throw away this fucking beef stew now.

I'm not going to enjoy this anymore unless I'm fucking it. I'm going to fuck my food. And they vote for butt over boobs 53 to 40. Oh my God. That's the same as the Lincoln Park Forum. That's crazy. It is kind of crazy. Did you accidentally put the same one in?

I don't think so. I think this is two separate polls, both with 30 people voting the exact same spread. Interesting. That's really, you know. That's really something. That's compelling. And is at the end of that? I think it is.

Because I have some... Yes, it is. Okay. So I wanted us to have a conversation now. Thank you. Finally. Yeah. I know you've been waiting.

It's been an hour and a half. You don't feel like we've even had one conversation? We barely have a conversation. We haven't even scratched the surface of conversation. That is true. We're going to get to places in conversation. Let's speak on it. So here's the list of items that I have for boobs and butts because I just wrote down

something for us to jump off of. A butt. Yeah, so you can put that on butt. Jump off of a butt. boobs they live so these are just the facts on boobs and boobs boobs live in bikinis they can't make shit

they can't make diarrhea they've never farted sometimes they're big nips are legit they come in all shapes and sizes but only the really super giant ones are awesome okay now get this two words slow-mo for what

boobs for boobs okay and then two words the smell that could be one You could, you could, you could pair that down. One word, smell of the boobs. They can become Hugie's with practice. Maxim Magazine.

What do you mean they can become hugeies with practice? Like if you work hard. You can't. Even certain babies be fucking with these. Okay, I thought you were going to say something completely different and I wasn't very pleased with what you were going to say. Nobody knows why girls have them. It's the best part of movies.

Okay, now I know more two words. Two words, Kate Upton. I wrote these last night when I was all messed up on weed. two words two words Francis McDormitt I don't remember they're possible to do them

shout out Justin Timberlake remember that no oh yeah yeah yeah now here's butts literally a dew factory jiggles around with certain dances makes two separate disgusting items there's rap songs about this what are the two items shit and fart okay shit and fart hairs and hairs you can't get pregnant inside of this uh-huh even gay guys think these are good

and they're literally gay wait this is our conversation I was I know these are just points things to jump off of on just like I want to make a wrist a list yeah definitely things we should touch on yeah two boobs you can sit with this damn camera i got i got one of this one of what i must have been really high more giant than boobs are usually literally used to be used You can do these, but it takes practice. Okay. So that is a really terrible list.

That's the list. That's the list of just, I was saying, I was just thinking of the, I, things I know about the losers is much last night. The things that we have to think about during the debate. Well, it's not, I don't, we're not having a debate. The debate, I want to talk about kind of the larger debate that has been going on for so many years. We don't necessarily have to frame this as a debate. but I just want to hear your points

kind of like that as an example of just things that are about boobs versus butts pros and cons you might have covered it all yeah you really did kind of Francis McDormon I mean that's a huge check tick for boobs

yeah yeah I mean I'm trying to think you really did you really did cover a wide range of topics there I guess well who's in butts if it's Francis McDormin and boobs Um

shit Ria Pullman Sherry or Terry Bear Terry Barry What's your name? Sherry Oterrey Sherry O'Terry Yeah

Sherry O'Terry She's nice man Rea Ria Poulman Who's that? I'm going to say Ria Butcher Rea Proulman That's not his name anymore

I know that's why I was about to cook you Oh, Ria Perlman, not Pullman. Who's Rea Perman? Danny DeVito's wife. Oh, really? From Matilda. Oh, she did have a big butt.

She did in the movie. I'm trying to think of actresses and actors with big bottoms. Yeah, that's not typically something they want to show. Wayne Knight. He's got a big butt? It's Newman. Oh, Paul Sorvino had a huge ass. He had a giant ass.

Oh, what's his name? Marlon Brando at the end of his late. He had a giant ass. Jabba. Jabba. What's his last name? The hut. The hut.

Jabba. He had a literal tail. Yeah, I guess he doesn't have a little tail. How did Jabba poop? What are you talking about? He didn't have a butt. He's a worm, man. Yeah.

A worm is all butt. When I see an earthworm, that's why I can't behave when I go fishing. An earthworm is not a butt. an earthworm is not a butt at all. Earthworm literally has Earthworms are butts because they love to eat dirt. Literally they poop.

Earthworms inside of a butt. I have an earthworm in my butt right now. I thought I had worms in my poop the other day but I don't think I did because they never showed up again. But maybe it was just one go and they all came out. Oh.

Do you think you had what are they pinworms? Maybe. That's a crazy type of worms. You can get you can get visible worms in your shit? Yeah. Yeah, that's one of the things I always look for.

Just in case. You got to, you know, I feel like I get, I've got a, I feel like eventually I'm going to find out that I've had worms in my stomach for 15 years. And I'm going to take a pill from the doctor and I'm going to get, I'm going to gain 300 pounds. Yes, I've been thinking.

You know what I mean? You think that you've had a tapeworm. That's why you've stayed thin this long. Because that's not like I try to stay thin. Yeah. Well, but you just. aren't that hungry. That's true. Exactly.

No, you'd be more hungry if you had worms. What's your favorite food again? Is it saltines? No, that's so mean. That's Neil's. No, that's Neil's favorite food. I don't even have a favorite food.

You don't have a bad ass. Yeah, my favorite food is quiche. That's fruity. Wait, that's actually a low-key underrated pick. I actually don't know what my favorite food is. Yeah. Moli and enchiladas. That's a good one.

That's a good pick. Yeah. Moli and chalalas. It's pretty good. Pollo. You all fuck with Pollo? I love Pollo. That's just chicken breast.

Chicken breast. Oh, yeah. Okay. Here's a. There you go. But it only goes to the thigh. This is about breast versus time. They don't go all the way up to butt.

Yeah. Chicken butt. I mean, you can't go to the store by chicken butt. That's true. Chicken ass. You got to get the thigh. There's only one way to buy it.

The butcher doesn't answer because you have to walk them to say, guess what? Guess what? Yeah. But that's what I'm saying. And what you would say, what you might argue here. Okay. What you might say is, oh, the chicken thigh includes the butt, right? Yeah.

And they just don't want to say butt. They don't want, but they say breast. You're buying, they don't say chicken chest. Yeah. Or they don't use a euphemism there. It's straight up the breast. That is true. That makes you think about some shit like that.

Yeah. Why is the butt so disgusting that it can't even be uttered? It can't be mentioned in terms of food. Well, but also, the pooper. Well, just call it. I don't call it. But on a chicken, but you can buy pork butt. That's true.

Every day. You get my pork pussy. You know where to look. You got to say, give me the pig lips. You say, excuse me, Mr. Butcher, let me get them piglips. The point being, that's a gross thing, but you can still buy it. What do they do with it? They just toss it.

Where do they cut? They take every, they use every other part of the pig and they cut that out. You ever seen pork broth? The wiener and the balls, too. What do they do with that we're in the balls? They use it to make more pork meat. Yeah. They feed them back to them?

No, they... They hit it with a rock like a caveman? They make them have sex with each other. Oh my God. They peel off the vagina. Now you're understanding. They feel off the penis. They put them inside of each other.

And they wait about nine months. Yeah. And a bacon is born. A couple of pieces of bacon walking around. Wow. Nature is so metal. That's true as fuck. one of the one of the posts i made on nature is our slash nature is metal on reddit that they deleted

no uh was a bunch of a picture of a school of fish and i wrote a school of fish swarming nature is fucking metal they delete why they delete that i don't know they don't like me yeah they also deleted my post of a sorcerer casting a curse Sorcerer in his natural habitat casting a curse That's good Yeah they don't fuck with me that much All right well I finish my boobs versus butt stuff So I think we have to go to the hat for the first time

Oh my God Jubio made this beat you fucking stupid disgusting bitch Let's go to the hat for 10 minutes Yeah why not go to the hat Yeah How come we can hear this stupid shit But we can't hear the theme song That's right

I'm saying it I want to spit on you Hold on the hat So the hat just for everyone who doesn't know about the hat Don't take the tag out of the hat I know that's what you're about to do So basically whenever we run out of topic to talk about Yeah, because we have this segmented in hours

We're going to go to the hat and pull out a topic that me and Caleb have put some Don't just be patient here. Let me explain it first. I took that question out first. The, and the hat, what I want to say about the hat is that some of these I pulled from a website called 100 topics to talk about on a podcast. Some of these are just from the dome. But I think that based on what I put on the hat, the hat is a punishment for running out

of things to talk about. Yeah, so I'll draw first because it is my fault that I didn't fill the entire hour. So this is the first punishment is that we have to talk about Fight Club. That's easy. Okay, guys, what are the thoughts on Fight Club? Let's get into this. Do you guys think that if we were in the, if we were Fight Club, Like, the guys in the back, like that one scene. Like that one scene.

What? What? I'm so sorry. I have to go to the hospital. Ow! That was a super punch. I mean to super punch you. I don't know for where I'm sitting there.

It looked like you did. You aren't over the whole world just to punch me. Ow! It couldn't have hurt that bad. It hurts. So, I'm sorry. You hit my bones and my muscle. So, and my skin.

Do you guys think that in fight club, they were, the fight club? Do you guys think that in fight club, it was supposed to be the same guy? Yeah. No. Where did you get that idea? It's supposed to be,

it's supposed to be Tyler Joseph. The boss and the employee. Meatball and the guy was his name? Meatball and Brad Pitt. That's not the same guy. I think they were supposed to be because it was like, wasn't there a scene when Brad Pitt was like, I'm a meatball?

No, the fucking Meatball who dies. Meatball. Yeah, meatball. Because he shoots himself. No, the meatball says and they say his name was Meatball. Oh, oh, that meatball. His name was beatball.

He said he was supposed to be the same guy. Oh, my God. As Brad Pitt. He was Marlon. In the first scene. Marlon's from Nemo. In the first scene of the movie. Are Marlin and Neym or and Dory the same person?

They're not the same person. Nemo is Marlin. Think about how crazy this full circle is. Okay. Let's hear it. The first scene in Fight Club. Yeah. He's talking to Meatball,

talking about Meatball in his monologue. He's saying Meatball's got the biggest boobs. Wait, Boob has huge boobs. We're back to the Boat. That is a full circle all right. Yeah. Where is the butt in Fight Club?

I feel like the butt of the joke watching this movie. I'm confused. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, which guy's which? I'm thinking that the girl. And they're blowing up the credit card companies. I expected an action movie. And what I'm finding is a meditation on addiction, self-improvement, and fucking.

Yeah. And then they scare me blow up the whole world at the end. Remember the scene with the penguin in it? What the hell? The penguin. Penguin says, slide. What movie did you watch? Fight Club?

There's a penguin that slides through a cave and says, slide. I don't remember that. That's bullshit. That happens if I watched Fight Club like eight times. Wait, are you thinking of the paint? I'm not thinking of any other penguin. He thinks the cast of the Fight Club is. Kowalski and the

No, dude. That's Penguins of Madagos. Okay. Literally Google right now, Penguin Fight Club. Well, what are the name? Are you really hurting that bad? Yeah, my God. You did a super punch. Sorry, I did a super punch. You didn't even announce. What is the meaning of the penguin and fight club? Wait, let's look at the

mean. This is from Fight Club. Oh, I remember it now. Now that you see it, I don't remember it. Yeah, I remember it. It's like, what did you see that I didn't describe? I don't remember this that made you jogged your memory. I just don't remember. I didn't remember it. You just believe me now. I didn't remember. You didn't trust me.

It's like a CG penguin, right? Yeah, and it's a slide. Well, I like this thing right there. Penguin Fight Club, that's an NFD website. He's saying it's cold in the world. It's a cold world. I do like these types of penguins here. Oh, slide on, on, I want you to slide on me.

Because they're sliding on each other. Tyler Durdon. I want you to slide on me. Go ahead. Slide on me, Tyler. I want you to crash out. Why would he say Tyler? Oh, because he's not Tyler.

Oh, because he's not. Oops. Oops. I mean, I mean you. I mean me. I mean you. Wait. Is his name first to be Jack?

He doesn't have a name. He's the narrator. Yeah. Or the protagonist. I thought his name was Jack. No, because he is, I am Jack's. Skellington. I am Jack's scary Skellington. I am Jack Skellington.

And he fucks Jack Skellenton's sister in that. Yeah. Oh, that's true. Helena Bottom. Yeah. Bottom. But you have, you have Meatball. Meat ball.

And you have Helena Bottom Fartter who has. has a bottom. Yeah. Wow. So that, and who wins? After I watched this movie, I thought that,

I thought there was going to be a lot more movies in adulthood where two people ended up being one person. Yeah, I thought that was going to be a main plot point. Hugo.

I was, what's the whole time through Hugo? I was sitting there like, where the hell is that two people got to come in? Yeah. Where's the other guy?

Yeah. Yeah. Other movies. What other movies? Scooby-Doo. I thought maybe Scooby and Shaggy would be one disgusting dog guy.

American Psycho? American Psycho Most movies It turns out at the end That the main character was one person Yes That is a common We've gotten to the point

We've gotten to the point Where that is almost a twist in and of itself There was one movie That should be the reveal In a lot of movies Is it there's only the main character They should wait till the end To reveal the main character

There's a movie that I've seen And I don't remember the name of it That's a good start But it's like a It's like a horror movie Where a girl I think Jojo's in it

I'm living inside a horror movie right now a puncher movie that's what I'm in yeah well we started a fight club horror movie with Jojo in it

it's a horror movie with Jojo and then the girl from Lemini Snicket Jojo Siwa no but Jojo Sewa could be

a scream queen soon you said it like what's their name the two guys Jojo Sewa could be a scream queen soon really Tell me more.

So basically with the way that her career has been going, she's on the right path to going into horror movies. That dance is loki scary. Yeah. And her dancing could also be featured in a movie that's about scary dancing. Oh my God. She could be in a movie called Scary Dancing. I would watch that movie.

A sequel to Dirty Dancing. What would happen in that? Scary things would ensue. But so dirty dancing. What's the plot of Dirty Dancing? Dirty dancing is that. You can't dance or no, footloose. You can't dance in this damn town

Dancing considered dirty here Dancing is dirty in this town You can't dance You better dance right You better dance right or you won't dance at all They should do a movie like The Purge But it's footloose dancing

That's a good idea That would be a good mashup man The Purge No it just is the purge And then it's the one day It's revealed that it's the footloose town So the purge they all just dance Yeah, that would be even scarier.

Every single death. How did they ban dancing in the whole town? This is how things were back then. Yeah. You should just walk up to the Capitol Hill when you had that talking ass piece of paper. You'd say, don't let people dance. There you go, well, okay.

Yeah. I'm just the mayor. I'm just the president, do. Sign. That's how it used to be. Everybody was a fucking idiot back then. And that's what's crazy about, about footloose is what people don't know.

The politics behind the scene. It wasn't that the, that the mayor of the government of the town did this at all. It was the president who reached, the president reached down and said, in this town, there shall be, there shalt not dancing. Thou shalt not cavort. It was an executive order because he was from the town over. He was from the town over and they would have a yearly dance competition with that town.

And so he got to the president really just the entire time. Conflict of interest. Yeah. And so he really set them back a couple years. And just to loop back to Fight Club, I heard the sequel to Fight Club is going to be a movie where it turns out the two towns are the same town. Scary. Where is my town?

That's scary. Minneapolis and St. Paul. They should make a movie. They should make a movie about that. That's a great idea. It is a really good idea. It's about St. Paul.

And then they're like, everybody's around people are like, fuck Minneapolis, man. Minneapolis is an evil version of here. And then it's like we see double vision. Overlay. Freaky towns day.

The fucking skyline perfectly. that's a good idea too. Freaky Towns Day and some town in China becomes like some town in Oklahoma. Interesting. And then they switch for a full week and then they have to figure out.

Freaky Friday get a little more racial with the switching. They did get racial. Are you kidding me? A little more. You don't remember the Chinese lady who switches them? But why didn't?

My wife watched it two days ago and she said out loud you couldn't make this these days to Freaky Friday once it went to the... I said that basically every movie I ever watch. Yeah.

I'm fully, I'm fully, not even because I've become one of those annoying guys who watches the movie, goes, yeah, movies just looked better back then. I can't, I can't help it. It creeps in. I'm with you. Even movies that are, that I didn't think looked that good when they came out. I do it for terrible movies from the 90s. I do it from 2000.

I watch Super Bad. I'm like, this looks amazing. It's crazy. Yeah. And movies these days look all just like. Because you know why? Because they shoot on shit cameras. Digital now.

You know what they used? You know who. I would love to see make a movie. Is this guy from... Steven Spielbag? No, this guy from Rocket Power. Auto? This guy.

That would be a good movie. With his fingers like this? You have to follow around. That would be a really good next nanotechnology bioengineer upgrade to the human body. Be able to take video on picture by doing this.

And then your fingers turn into a camera. I'm saying you walk around with your head on his shoulder and he just does this different places. Oh. But I'm just saying separately, this should be a thing that they install.

Instead of putting Neurlink in the brand that should put camera generators. I can see it. So when you connect the circuit. Yeah. You complete the circuit and now you're filming everything. And that's nice because what people,

the classic, here's the classic thing, right? Elon Musk or whoever says, okay, I'm going to put a camera into the eyeball. Yeah. But here's the problem.

Any self-respecting guy can just dash into the woman's locker room and go, and they won't even know what's going on. But a guy comes in and does this. Yeah, people are going to know what's up. Exactly. It has to have a,

they need to be conspicuous. Yeah. Because it's like the red circle or the red light. Yeah, exactly. Or the shutter sound that they have in Japan on every phone. But then here's a big issue. What if you pretend to be deaf and you are doing, pretend you're doing sign language? Well, here's the thing.

This in sign language means pervert. I am a nasty pervert. Really? Yeah, so it's very convenient. But then you have a problem. But then one of your Disney channel. It means that in American sign language. But if you're trying to take a video of your kid on the carousel and you're sitting there like this.

This porting that. And then all the deaf people And also there are like, what the fuck is going on with this guy? I heard that's going to be a sketch on the next Eric Andre's show. That would be a good sketch for him. He wears a shirt that says, I am a nasty pervert and goes on taking picture of the kids. Yeah, that's a great.

You should write for him, actually. Okay, I have to peeve so bad. Give me a donut, though, first. And I don't care what flavor. If you're going this way, just get a donut. No, I want you to pick it out for me because you punch me so hard, and I want you to pick one. And I want you to put it out.

I wouldn't mind having one, too. Thank you. I'm not going to feed you. But is there a problem? Well, I mean, now that Caleb's gone, we can talk about this because this is a conversation he has an interest against and he's going to sandbag and try and get us to stop talking about this. Is there a pervert problem at Disney World? Yeah. Yeah, there is.

And people should not be allowed in if their only goal is to look at the kids. You should have to take a test. Yeah. You should have to take a test before you go into Disney World. Uh-huh. And it's like, it's like a screening. Uh-huh. but they're inconspicuous questions, right?

Sure. So you don't know. Yeah, you don't know what this test is for. You don't know what the test is for. They say, like, if you fill this out, you could win a free. You could be entered into a raffle. Oh, I've got it.

Or you will be entered into a raffle. I've got it. There's not, it's a test. What happens is they give this, tell everyone who walks in, they say, all right, sir, we have a free test you can take. You don't have to take it. But if you decide to take this test, you will be entered into our raffle to win a chance

to fuck a kid. And then they know whoever takes the test to never take it. Yeah, I mean, it's a dead giveaway. And then they argue that guy would be like, no, it was just a chance.

I was hoping I didn't win, but I wanted to take it. I just like taking tests. I'm just a good test taker. I'm a fan of tests. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't like tests.

Oh, said, oh my God. I totally misheard you. I thought you meant a baby goat. Yeah. I thought you said Chuck a bit. No, no, no. No, no. I'm a zooophile. I thought you meant baby goat like a kid. Because there's a, because Animal Kingdom. That's fine. Nobody's going to, if your thing is to fuck an animal, nobody's going to keep you out of Disney. Well, Animal Kingdom, they're going to let you in. That's okay, though. There should be two tests. Do they have real animals in Animal Kingdom? Yeah, they got lions and tigers bears, oh, my. That is okay because that's a self-policing thing where if you try to fuck that,

you're probably going to die. Yeah, but what if you succeed? What if you're the one guy that rizzes up a lion? Then power to you. You show up with the lion pheromones on. Watch me rizzle. The guy walking a day and walking up just hopping the fence and just walking up to a lioness. What's up?

girl. Hey, girl. Oh my God. It's disgusting. That's terrible to do to yourself because you're probably going to get hurt. No, you are going to get hurt in the heart because she's going to go back to the king. Well, that is the end of the leader of the pride. That's the end of hour too.

And with that talk about kids and Disney, we can transition into our next segment, which is kids show. And again, no cursing. This is going to be a no cursing section, Caleb. But you want to trade? This is our kids' show educational segment. We're going to do a little bit of learning because God knows we need that in this country. Real quick, how are we feeling on energy? Two hours in, I'm honestly feeling pretty.

I feel good too. I definitely dried out, but I forgot at some point I had, usually we record for one hour. And then I go home and feed my cat. So you forgot that you have to eat And I forgot that I have to go home and feed him at some point Because I don't think Alex is home Hmm Sounds like an excuse

I really does pose a problem Maybe well I could call in Call into the cat You could call in on the phone Oh yeah You could have you on the Okay it's salt All right

What hour should I do that then Actually I might have to do it You might have to do it That's just facts When does your cat eat Like right now Right now can't miss the kids show let's see go in the next one go okay i'll go in the next one uh so kids

show yeah we just wanted to do a little bit of uh teaching because i think we do a lot of we do a lot of de-education no doubt programming yeah yeah um i mean i guess i'll take it away then i i go ahead and uh yeah i'm gonna be honest mine's about probably six minutes yeah i think yeah we're gonna have to do a lot of well if it's really short if it's really short maybe i could leave it And we could go talk to some kids' lives. You want to go interview? Wait, what day is this? Wednesday?

There's no school. It's summer vacation, man. Yeah, it's summer vacation. What about the really stupid kids that have to go to school all summer? Yeah, that's true. You can go talk to them, yeah. Maybe.

Yeah, here's your, you can go. You can go when you need to go, but you need to talk to one person on the street and you can't on the phone. You have to interview some person. You have to interview somebody, please. I don't think it'll work out. It's not going to work out.

No one's going to talk to me. You are really off-putting. Yeah. Yeah. So that doesn't surprise me. All right. Well, let's, let's just hop into it. Yeah.

Let me teach. If you're going to leave, let me teach you something first. Let me send you out into the world with little knowledge. Please. Okay. So can we pull up my, my slideshow, please, Julio? It should be in the folder. And this is good for me because honestly, I didn't learn shit when I was homeschool.

And you swore in front of the kids. Yeah. So you've already, you know, created an issue. We're going to have to. They didn't teach you not to swear on. on conacademy.com, man. Okay. Let me pull my thing up on the phone

so I can just read it in front of kids. Wait, it's a kid thing and you're pulling up your thing on your phone. First of all, they shouldn't be around phones that rots their brains too early. Second of all. Yeah, but they shouldn't even see it. I'm not a kid, man. Yeah, but you're around kids. Okay, so today we're going to talk about

uh, huh? Me and them are kids. Two little kids. You are kids right now. I'm going to teach you. Okay. So today, kids, shrink in our chairs. We're going to talk about, um, About outer space. What's that?

So that is basically an area outside of the earth. Ew. Where the moon and the sun and the stars are. The moon, like a bare butt. Being flashed out of the pants. And farting. You know, white butt. This isn't how kids act.

At school? This is, yeah. These days they act like this. Yeah, I got the, I hang out with Phantom and what cranked a 900. I don't know what that means. Me neither, man. These kids are so fun. All right.

So there is a celestial object known as the star seed ring nebula. Art seed. Okay, a.k.a. M.57 or messier, 57. And the constellation Lyra, which has special significance for all star seeds and cosmic wanderers. What's a star seed? So star seeds, these are people who have alien DNA. That's DNA. It's basically what makes you, you.

Really? That's special little something. Oh, my God. You got on your cells. It's my birth mark? It's located at 20 degrees Capricorn. The reason why this beautiful nebula is so special is because it is the physical remnants

of a supernova explosion of the Lyron homeland, which in galactic myth was the original location of all humanoid races before it was destroyed by the Dracos. I have my friend as a Draco. Thus triggering the diaspora to new planets such as those civilizations located in the Pleiades, Andromeda, Cassiopeia, Syria, amongst many others.

What's that word over there with the S.H? Shiliak. My mom has that. She can't eat sourdough bread. Really? Yeah. That's sexually sad. Sexually sad?

That's actually sad. Sexually sad. Sexually sad. She can't eat sourdough. So this is the place from which many streams of consciousness rays of extraterrestrial starseeds races began their evolutionary journey. So today, kids, we're going to talk about the different types of alien star seeds. And the different types of aliens you could have been descended from.

So I'm a descendant of an alien? you could be yeah let's go next year we're going to look at known systems from where starseeds have identified guides past lifelines visions or actual contact so let's look at the first one uh the first one is the andromeda galaxy alex collier is the most famous andromedin contactee so these are some pictures of andromedans okay do you guys know this person on the right yeah this is ania taylor joy she's not an alien i just put her in there because i thought she looked exactly like the picture they put is she a kid oh interesting She's going to hang out with you guys at recess today. Wow. Swag. She's studying for a new role as a kid. I think they do.

Kids don't say swag. I think so. We say shizzle all the time. But you'll notice here, it says Alex Collier is the most famous Androbent contact. That's Alex Collier? No, I was confused. I was wondering who's Alex Collier. So next slide, this is Alex Collier.

Whoa. Wow. Is that a kid? He's so he's not a kid. He looks like he was once a kid. He's a harbinger of an urgent cosmic warning that the Androvidans have given us on nuclear weapons. But also, I looked up his name, and I'm pretty sure this is the same guy. Maybe it's not.

But, I mean, you guys might be familiar with this guy because of, he also wrote Mr. Bean, the animated series, as well as maybe you guys have watched the rubbish world of Dave Spud or even maybe you guys have watched My Little Pony Tell Your Tale. No, that's for girls. Yeah, that's for girls. But here's my impression of a kid. Oh, yeah, I love Mr. Bean the animated series. It's the only thing with Mr. Bean in it. Damn. That's honestly what they believe for real.

This is the Mr. Bean they grew up with. So I feel like maybe just Alex Collier has, I think we've seen here, that he's received messages from the Andromeda Galaxy that have led him to create certain things, like an animated version of Mr. Bean. He's, yeah, hold on, I'm getting a beam of inspiration. Well, isn't Mr. Bean an alien or an angel? These have been theorized in the fan theories community. Mr. Beam.

Mr. Beam. He could have been Mr. Bean like an alien beam. The whole time. Yeah. So let's look at the next star system. This is Lyra or Vega. the origin of humanoids with pure mammalian DNA. So a mammal...

A mammal kids is something with hair. In general, most of humanity is from Lyra. Their protagonist in the movie Golden Compass was inspirationally named Lyra. And the rogue reptilian factions that control Hollywood studios shelved part two of the movie once part one became an unexpected hit.

They don't want the masses to know humanity's exact stellar origin even by accident. The word Lyra scares the poop out of them. Shoot. Wait, that's not how you spoke poop. Scares the scat out of them. Aware lirons can mentally alter

interdimensional realities, but service to self, reptilians can't do this. And while we're going through this, kids, I want you to be thinking about what do you most identify with? Who do you feel like?

Are you a lyron? Are you an andromeda star seed? I'm going to have to hear all of them before I give an answer. I'd love to hear all of them before you decide. I'm just trying to give information about each of them so we can figure it out a fun little activity.

Let's look at the next star system. This is Riggle Orion Regulus. Draco. Some have reptilian DNA or pure reptilians. Mix of very good and very bad. So which one of these is very good and which one's very bad? Because both of them are... What do you think? They're pretty

ugly. I don't know which one is good and bad. One is wearing clothes. I don't know if that means they're better. Well, it looks more like armor. So, kid, let's hear about we know that we're talking about reptilian DNA here and could be truly evil or truly good. Let's hear what some of the characteristics of these star seeds have based on the

reptilian and draconic DNA in their systems. The one on the right is shredded, though. Yeah, for real, for real. That's in the DNA, for sure. Like Sam Sulek, the kids like that. So here's some information about people, how, what draconic DNA affects people from Orion. Okay.

Those from Orion need privacy and time alone to recharge, learn and develop the flow within. They learn best alone or in small groups and do not feel comfortable in large classroom settings. There is a high energy level, which combined with the questioning nature makes Orion's intolerant of classroom learning. So I'm starting to see some connections here

when they feel teaching is not done well or is not meaningful. I am so one of these, Yeah. I thought you might feel that way. I mean, can you imagine being in a classroom and a lizard pulls up and everybody looking at the lizard, man? Of course you don't like classrooms. Damn. Let's look at the next one because I think that we might see some similarities. I think we might see some similarities in this one. Alda Barron. Some of these humanoid aliens are Hitler supporters. Oh my God. And want a Nazi super race in their image. Today are said to be working

for Antarctica and have plans of a Fourth Reich where there won't be mistakes of the Third Reich. So I know you're asking yourself kids. You're young kids. So you're asking yourself this question. Can we hit the question here? Who was Adolf Hitler? So let's go into a little bit. I want to teach you guys because it's important to teach this kind of information to kids.

I need to know. So do you guys remember Mayor Humdinger? No. From Paw Patrol the movie. Come on, you guys like Paw Patrol the movie. This is Mayor Humdinger. Yes.

I remember watching that when I was a baby. We can just keep hitting next as I'm talking here. Remember how we use the cloud catcher to remove all the clouds from the sky to make room for his fireworks display? Duh. What a selfish guy. Adventure City needs rain sometimes to grow

crops and plants and flowers. Of course they do. Just like Mayor Humdinger, Adolf used his Nazi war machine to try and remove people of Jewish descent from Europe. They're just as selfish as Mayor Humdinger. So he's as bad as Mayor Humdinger. In real life, the Pop Patrol couldn't save the day like in the movie, but Hitler actually ended up killing himself. Yay! So when you think of Hitler, think Humdinger. Okay. So let's talk about Sirius, the next star system. And I guess I accidentally covered up the pictures. Serious XM is my favorite radio to listen to because I'm just a little kid. Oh, they probably get the serious signal out in space because it's a satellite radio. So serious. Many types of beings here, dolphins, pointy-eared types, etc. Syrians are said to have created the original Hebrew race in a genetic experiment. Those from Sirius tend to be future-oriented and do not enjoy focusing on the past. They may become defensive if forced to focus on the past by others. So this is, I think, has to do with maybe their creation of the Hebrew race. I'm thinking this information. This is due to the fact that past pain and emotion is held within. denied and repressed rather than being dealt with

at the time of occurrence. Due to this, there may be large amounts of old emotion and need of being dealt with and released. Syrians have a very unique and strong sense of humor. I got it. I think I'm one of these for such a serious race. You created a Hebrew race? Well, no, I don't know how to do that, but maybe I could

one day. Hey, for such a serious race they are sure are funny people. Yeah. Where's the, uh, pet? Where's the matter daddy on this. The what? The matter daddy.

I don't know what that is either. Where is it? Where's the matter daddy? Wait, can you ask a question to him? I don't understand what he's saying. Who's the matter daddy? Not the much who's the matter with you. See, I told you I'm one of these funny ones.

All right, we just have a few more star systems to look at. The next one is Arcturus, a pro-human race that helped the ancient Greeks and Romans. so I got two pictures of Arcturans here that I found online as examples of the... You found this image on the computer? Yeah, this was... I googled Arcturin, Alien, Star,

and this came out. So what did we know about them? So they are very creative. Many Arcturians are writers, artists, designers, or use their abilities to create in some way. Arcturians are often good public speakers, have a good sense of timing and humor,

the life of the party. They enjoy making others laugh. Sounds a little bit like someone I know. Me? You think I'm an Arcturian? I think you might be an Arcturian. Yeah, I'm a lizard. Wow.

And then there's one more. The Tau Ceti and Procyon said to have ceded the Slav race. What's going on with this guy on the left? He has a triple boob. He is a Tau Ceti in. But why does it look like two different images? And now here's some information I found when I googled some stuff about him about Tau Ceti. This person online said, I did, so they posted this picture on Instagram and said,

I did a soul realignment for a client whose soul history is linked to Aramani race from Tau City Star System, only 11 light years away. His role was or is to incarnate into Muslim community, awaken at the right time to remember his galactic connections, and start sharing the right information with the right people at the right place to support the awakening from the mass deception and distortion in the Middle East and beyond. Wow. That's powerful.

Isn't that, and that's him. He looks damn good. He looks good. He looks damn good. So that's all I wanted to teach you guys today about the different star system. Look at that right next to it. That big spike of green. Oh, that's an Islamic crystal.

That's an Islamic crystal. They worship that. That's what their god is. That's a big crystal. It's a crystal. I didn't know, I don't know too much about it. You don't know about that square? It's a crystal.

No, I didn't know that they worship. That's the crystal. That's the inside of the thingy, of the cube. Yeah. That's an interesting thing. that is an interesting thing. So I hope you guys feel like you learned something today. I really do.

I learned that I'm a lizard baby or whatever you said it's called. I don't remember. Or Khan or Orion. Orion. Orion, yeah. And I, what do you think? Because I had an inkling about you,

but I'm going to let you pick. I don't know. Do you get to pick? You said, well, how do you feel? I'd show you. He could be the Arturian or a serious.

Mayor Humdinger. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm not Mayor Humdinger. I know you have some interest in the fourth rack, don't you? No. You got a little bit of interest. Come on, you must have an interest.

Sure, not an interest, but like a healthy curiosity. I don't even think I have a curiosity. I thought that I was an arturian. I think you have an expertise in it maybe. An expertise? Yeah. Of what? See, I don't even know what it's talking about.

I think you know. I don't even know what this is a conversation about. You are a Hitler Nazi. That was the first, that was the original script in Star Wars. You are a Hitler. completely Hitler. But they decided that was too on the nose

for the evil empire. That's just our Evil Empire. It's cold in here, man. It is cold, man. I'm lizard slugging, slowing. You're slowing down?

I think I want some more coffee. Yeah. I'm being completely honest. This thing is still heavy as fuck. Yeah, dude. There's a lot of coffee here. I'm gonna finish this bitch today. This is 10 cups.

I read. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Between three people, it's doable. But I already had a cup before I got here. Yeah, me too.

Jesus Christ. I have. a Celsius and a monster. And now? And now you are a monster? Mm-hmm. And you're a Celsius. Well, even Celsius.

Like a monster would. You do have a degree. A degree in, uh, yeah, one degree. You're supposed to have 360 degrees. Damn. You're about 364 degrees short of a circle. Why do they never say that?

Why is that not? Nerd insults be like? Okay, guys, let's do some nerd insults right now. For the kids, educational insults. Yeah. This is our educational show section. Well, I mean, the first one, the first educational insult of all time was great going Einstein. Yeah.

That's good. I don't like that one, though, because Einstein was actually really smart. Yeah, he was smart. And you say that when people are stupid. Yeah, and you're a square. Oh, but this, the delicious irony coming from there. You're a square would be a normal insult. People call someone a square saying that lame.

To educationalize it, we can say, you're acting like a bit of a quadrangle. Yes. You, sir, or rhombus? Oh, speaking of shapes, that's what mine's about. Shapes. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay.

Okay. Yeah. I did a lot of, most of my prep was done yesterday when I thought that I had COVID, but it was just all my sunburn. Okay. So this is a sunburn influenced one. This is mine. Oh, this is yours? Okay.

Well, then I guess we're doing yours first. Okay. Then we'll just go through mine. This is actually. This is a warming my hands. I feel like the winter. I know. I'm going to get the remote really.

This is kind of a backdoor pilot here. You're a backdoor pilot. Okay. No Spiller live The Spiller Live Oh my God No

No I'm not even gonna start mine yet How did this happen? Because How could this happen Oh And I spilled the paper towel This was

You don't have Oh I thought I sent it to you Well you got to Maybe I still got to sit it in he's he's afk now okay i guess we have to fill up time for a second it's hat time i'm not okay

okay uh i'll send you okay guys let's talk about the craziest video games coziest video games coziest video games stardoo valley i mean it's got to be the coziest of all the time what do you think is the cozy the way i play it

Yeah, that's right. How are you playing it? I just everything to the ground, bulldoze all the houses, everything flat, no people, take a SD card, take all the people

onto the SD card, out of the game, put the SD card in the street, run it over with my ATB, then I take my computer, and I fuck it. That is not playing the game. Can I have the favorite?

You have to pick up a little more. By the way, he's not. By the way, this would be, you can access your lives. This would be a cozy, well,

we've already picked it. So I have to talk. Spill cleaner. Spill cleaner simulator. Keep going. There's more. I can't see it. Start your PowerPoint.

Start your PowerPoint. My cup is blocking. I don't want to talk about cozy video. Whatever idiot put that on that. It was me. It was you? Yeah, I love cozy video. Okay.

Let's talk on it for a couple minutes. I mean, what remains of Edith Finch? Firewatch. What's Firewatch? It's about literally walking around a park and talking to girls. Is it really? I thought it would be a game that's like you're in a tower. You're in the tower, you are a firewatch, but it's, you are a firewatch, but it's only like one minute of the game is that.

Yeah. And the rest of it walking around being like, grab these kids are lighting off fireworks. Grab these kids, you said? Well, you do. You walk on the parking, just like, grab these kids. There is a part where you try to grab the kids. Take them up to the tower. Take these damn kids up to the tower now.

If that was what the game was, that's cozy for you. That's not cozy for me. That's cozy for you. You said it was cozy. You said it's the coziest game. Never. I'm not an evil wizard. I don't do things like that. You said it's the coziest game. No. I'll just spit all my coffee in my mouth. Plants versus zombies. That's not cozy. That's not cozy. That's a scary game. That's scary. That's in the name versus. That's true. Versus is one of the scariest relationships between two things. If it was called plants versus water. Yeah. Plants, no, plants including water. Plants drinking water would be good. Plants drinking water would be a cozy, cozy game.

cozy and warm but no yeah no it's a versus oh these kids need to learn they do need to learn do your powerpoint okay uh so this is a backdoor pilot for the show that i'm starting so click hey kids what is it's like next and they're supposed to be like shrewd farms um what is that it's time for click next slide barry beaver oh barry there's supposed to be a laugh sound but that's That's really cute. We have the laugh now. Yay. Barry Beaver.

Next slide. Today's lesson is how to legally detain a stinky shoplifter. Oh, okay. Shopping causes retail losses of billions of dollars each year in the United States. Next slide. Here's some things you should know. Before you can legally detain a shoplifter, you must see them conceal the merchandise,

so wait until the suspect exit the store to approach them. Outside of the store, approach the shoplifter calmly and tell them you've witnessed. What are you looking for? Just tell me what you're looking for. Put my voice up high so I can speak as Barry. Oh, you want to be Barry.

I just realized I could do that. Yeah, that's a good idea. I think this should work. Okay. Before you can legally detain a shoplifter, you must see them conceal the merchandise. So wait. until the subject exists in store to approach them.

Outside the store, approach the shoplister calmly and tell them that you've witnessed them stealing. And that they need to come back inside of the store with you. This is a better voice without the high pitch. Once inside the store, retrieve the stolen items, contact the police,

entertain the customer until they arrive. Next slide. Step one. Look for signs that somebody is a, About the shoplift. You must visually see them hide the merchandise on their self or in their belongings before you can accuse them. What if they throw the stuff out the window? Yeah, to their friend.

They could throw the stuff out the window to their friend. I didn't consider that. Because you're not going to see them. That's a good question. Yeah, you're not going to see that on their self or their belongings. Also, if you don't want to get a basket, I go to a grocery store all the time and I don't want to grab a basket. So I put it in my pants. Just grabbing some chickens.

Yeah. I don't throw in my shorts. I don't feel like that. about feeding them. So, okay. So, so there are ways around this. You can shoplift without being seen.

Yeah, if you're invisible. If you want a shoplift, if you really want a shoplift, create a fake receipt. Because. I thought about this when I was a kid. You can create a fake receipt,

a receipt printer. It's dirt cheap. You get them at every yard sale. I used to get such bad. anxiety when I was a kid that I would walk out of the store and they would think I was shoplifting and I wouldn't have gotten a receipt. I still get that. I still get that. I keep my receipt until

about an hour outside of the shopping experience, just in case they tailed me or something. I got tailed a couple weeks ago. Yeah, you got accused of shoplifting. I got accused of shoplifting. Your boy the beaver here would have a real problem. Oh, yeah, you would have had a problem with me, but I was completely innocent and exonerated when they made me go back in the store and show

them where I put the 10 foot of U.S. micro-USBC cable. You know what I think happened, man? What? Presidential pardon. You think I got presidentially pardoned? Yeah, I think that's the only explanation. I think that it must have gotten to Joe. You think that Joe Biden called the five below in Bushwick and was like, well, listen, I'm not

he's not shoplifting. Yeah, yeah. Well, he doesn't sound like that, that's disrespectful. He doesn't sound like him at all. He never cusses. I'm a motherfucker bitch. What are you? You're doing Cosby a little bit. He doesn't even sound like Bill Cosby. That is Bill Cosby. How hell are you talking about my wife?

Camille. That's not Joe Biden at all. No. That's not Joe Biden? No. His wife's name is Joe. Oh, I need to put him. His wife's name is Joe.

His wife is also named Joe. Joe. Joe. Why have we not had a two name the same name presidential couple? Yeah. Joe and Joe. First family. Yeah.

That'd be an amazing first family. Yeah. A Joe and a Joe. Joe and Joe. A Kamala and a Cam. Alla. Alla. Alla.

Al up in that. Cam, Ala Harris. Yeah, I'm Cam all up in that. Harris. Yeah. The hairiest. The hairiest ass I ever seen. Harriers?

Yeah, I came all over the hairiest ass I ever seen. In the thing. Mm-hmm. And it's in the thing. And what's her middle name? Probably sex. Come on a sex terrace. Wouldn't be surprised, man.

Wouldn't be fucking surprised. I'd love to be the first gentleman. Oh, my God. You know, apparently. The first gentleman, is that what it's called? I hear the news is, though, the word on the street is she's a ho. What? Yeah.

Says who? A bunch of people. Oh, I haven't seen these. Oh, never mind. I've been seeing these. You haven't heard that. People are saying that she's doing the Huck toa. Yeah.

Which is a serious accusation. And that's how she got the job. And I wouldn't want to be one of these people sitting around calling the former or the future president straight H-O-E. No. Because you know what she can do to you after that? She'll suck you off. It's called Woman's Revenge. What's Women's Revenge?

What is Women's Revenge? What is Women's Revenge? ignore you. It's never happened because we've never had a female president. Really? But that's all that's built

into the Constitution. It's built into the Constitution if there's ever... You can play women's revenge. You can play women's revenge. It's anyone that has ever called you an HOE before your presidential run.

You can line them up and run down with a scythe. Curve the bullet wanted. Why hasn't the Grim Reaper updated yet and got himself a nice machine gun? I agree. Or a change.

Chainsaw. Yeah. Chainsaw is even you hear him coming from a mile away. That we got finished with that. Or a weed whacker.

A weed whacker. The weapon of the future is a laser beam. Yeah. That cannot be argued with. Yeah. If anyone has anything to say to me about

that, that, that, we're losing it. You deserve to die. A laser beam is the future weapon. There's no doubt about this. There is no doubt.

The Green Reaper should have a beam. A beam directed energy. I saw in one of my Facebook groups a couple days ago, a lady said that they were hitting her foot with the directed energy beam and turned to blue.

She had frostbite like Mr. Deeds. No, just her foot was a little blue because she's old. And she poses a picture of it. And then the admin of the group said, I'm so sorry to see this. This is always happening. Make sure you're wearing your hat. Yes. She should be wearing socks. She should be wearing. No, that's what I'm telling you

exactly. Is it like, is it like a diabetic thing? Because I know that they make diabetic socks that like don't have elastic in them because like, do you? Do you Do you know how old people's skin turn blue? No. It's really weird. I hung out of my grandparents and they're all,

they look like they've been in a fight all the time. It's like their veins have gotten a goshy and blur on them. And they always just, my grandpa opened up his, he opened up his camera roll to show us like some pictures from our vacation on the TV. Oh, no, man. And it was literally all just, everything surrounding the picture of us in front of the,

in front of the beach was all just injuries that him and my grandma had, just like horrible screams and bruises. Jesus. I was like, oh, well, I fell down. I was like every single one was like, oh, well, they fell over over there. You know how old people get that arm that sag down and looks like it's a disease?

My grandma used to... They're getting ready to become angels. Yeah. Wow. I've just discovered that in my brain. My grandma used to drive the car and jiggle her arms and go, da-lant-d-lint-d-lint-d-lan-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d. Really made me laugh when I was a kid. That was some funny shit.

I saw a video on Twitter of a little kid playing with his grandma's arm flap. And I was like, that is love. That is true love. That is incredible family love. That your grandma is not like stop. Your grandma became your toy. Yeah. She's like,

I can be my, the part of my body that's the most disgusting can be your joy. Well, I just told you my grandma has those so now you're calling her disgusting. Yeah.

Yeah, that part of her body is disgusting. Terry. I think Terry is disgusting. Do you? No, I'm going to tell her you said that. Don't.

That woman raised me. She's going to call in. We used to play put, Putt saves the zoo and she was too stupid to figure out any of the puzzles that are made for children.

Okay. I had this one game that was like that. She was sitting in there playing it with you and going, oh, I don't know.

Caleb, what do you think we should do? And you're like, stupid fucking idiot. It doesn't even know what to do. Obviously, click the car.

That's true. You do just click the car. It's so funny you think that when you're a kid whenever an adult like it's like, yeah, you fucking idiot.

You can't find the lamp. It's right there. It's literally there. It's right in front of you. I had this game. there was like a spy kids game that it had a booklet that you were supposed to put the answers in

so it was like an educational game and you do the it was like you did like math problems and stuff but my parents got it for me when I was like six and it was made for like kids who were like 11 and it was just all kind of like basic like multiplication stuff and I was like

I don't even know any of this I couldn't get past the first part of the game because I didn't know math these games are really hard Games are so hard when you're a kid. Yeah. You get an idea in your head and you can't be, it can't be taken out.

Spy Fox? You get completely stuck. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm supposed to be as smart as a spy. You can't. You'll be playing Pokemon as a kid and you get the idea in your head that the only way to go forward is to go through a rock. Yeah. That can't be broken and you go, well, the game's done.

You don't keep, you don't try taking the other direction. I had that so many. Actually, Pokemon is a perfect example. I'd never, yeah. I'd never finish any games like it would always be that. I would get to them we're like, well,

this part's not possible. Yeah. Yeah, I had the same thing. I was like, there has to be some Pokemon that is a teleporter

that teleports you to the next part of the game. But it's a part of the game that's not supposed to be hard. You're just supposed to walk through something. Yeah. They put that in there like you're supposed to have rock smash

to smash the rock and then you see a rock in the way of something. You're like, well, fuck me, dude. I can't even get over this.

Yeah, I used to give up on every Pokemon game. Yeah. Yeah. And then I got it taken away one time because I had one Yeah, it was really wrong. You're not supposed to name it ass.

Yeah. I named my Blasto's beer. Whoa. Blue beer. Blue beer. Beer. That's crazy. Yeah.

What did you name your Charzard, though? Didn't have a Charzard, but you get one. You can get another one later in the game. If you played later in the game, you think I finished that and got to that point? Yes. No way. Even though you just told me you didn't. No way.

What's all going on with shoplifting? Yeah, I want to see a beaver. Show me a beva. Show me a beaver. Watch the suspect constantly. Concealing merchandise is not a crime. It is only considered shoplifting if the person or persons attempt to leave with the merchandise without paying.

Next like, Wait until the suspect exit the store. It is the same outside of the store to disqualify the excuse that they intended to pay if they bypass the register and the merchandise is not paid for. And or the exit store is pure Harvey. It's when you can stop something. Next slide. Yo, my man.

Mr. Fallout. Your giggle is so whimsical. Retreat the stolen merchandise and escort the shoplifter. The shoplifter back in a little. the store, ensure that you hold a shoplifter for a reasonable amount of time, and then hand the situation over to the police. So can you answer

my question here? So this is Michael Rappaport stopped a shoplifter. There's a video, there's a video of him like, oh, what the fuck you're doing, dude? Oh, you're stealing? Oh, you're stealing? And that's the whole video, and they're like the New York Post or whatever reported on it, and we're like,

Hero Michael Rappaport stops a shoplifter. Some might say that he shoplifted hip pop culture. Yep. Yep. He walked right out without paying respect to the goats. He didn't pay any respect to the five pillars. Yep. So. I think that he's paid the most respect to the five.

I think he's overpaid. Overpaid. I think he's overpaid them. Stop paying enough. You've already paid enough. Sir, we can't accept any more donations. Me buying a tube of toothpaste and CVS and trying to keep handing them $100 bills. No, sir.

No, you've already paid enough, sir. I love Walgreens. I like your culture here. I was 50 cents short at the bodega like three weeks ago and I didn't go for a couple weeks and then I went yesterday and I was like I owe you 50 cents by the way and he was like okay I was like you told me to give you this 50 cents you bastard yeah so I'm never going back there yeah piss me off damn next slide you don't have anything to say about this here's some question from kids that's Walmart hire people that have known shoplifters no most other

places don't either next slide does he mean like you have the the like a picture of him on the CCTV. I don't know. I don't know what it was. Known shoplifter. It's on your record. Yeah, I guess it's on your permanent record. It's on your report card for the year. Your permanent record. I hear that's some

serious shit. That is serious shit, dude. Oh my God. Yeah. Can I taser a shoplifter? Not if you're a citizen. If you are a properly licensed security guard in a jurisdiction that permits

such employees to use tasers. in this manner, you can tase of a shoplifter, if they are posing a threat to everyone else in the site. And that was an answer from spaceship. Look at that truck. Look at that fucking charler. Oh, I see. It's a shirt.

His shirt has S for a spaceship. Oh, yeah, he's spaceship. That's cool. Yeah. That's nice. That's really nice. Was it legal for store security to watch my daughter in the bathroom when she was caught shoplifting?

It is legal, but depending on the company, some company policies do not allow for it. But to answer your question, yes, it is legal. It is required that the LP agent observed the subject to the restroom with the merchandise and then exit without it. What's the LP agent? I don't know. The little pervert agent. A complete third at the restroom. is required, usually by a second LP agent

to ensure the merchandise was not discarded while the other LP agent loss prevention. Oh. It's lost prevention. It's definitely lost prevention. Lustful pervert, though, is more accurate in this case. The lustful pervert was in the bathroom.

Next slide. A female was stopped at the exit of a grocery store was asked if she was concealing items. and was made to lift her shirt. She was heavy-chested. Was this okay? No, it's not a fault that she was heavy-chested. It's her fault.

It is her fault. Next slide. Yeah. A shoplifter has left the store with stolen merchandise and a bag placed around their neck. Outside the store, the shoplifter stated that no one could stop her now.

How would you deal with this? You could try to stop her by blocking the way, but don't resort to violence. And that's from Little Ains. Wow. So cute. Aw. Wow.

Excite, I think. I think it's done. Yeah. Well, thank you. So that's a store. What was the Beaver's name? That was a Barry Beaver. That was a backdoor pilot for Barry Beaver.

And if you think that Barry Beaver could have his own show, I think he could sound off. Well, let's hear from Barry Beaver himself. Why do you think you deserve a show? Well, I think that I can teach children. turn a lot of valuable lessons. What are the things where you're thinking of teaching? How to stop a shoplifter. You already did that.

How to remain calm when being angered by an employee of a store. Okay. When you're clearly in the right. So that's a full episode? A lot of shopping stuff so far. How to not lose your temperate service workers? This is still shopping. We're eating.

And numbers. numbers. There we go. Numbers a little bit of diversity. So I think that we're ready to green light this show right here. I'll put up a little bit of capital. I'll put up 10 bucks, yeah. Well, there's my kid's show. I would love to see Barry Beaver. I think

that this could be the next blubooey. This could be the next blueie. You really think so? Wow. Yeah. And he could live on a pirate ship because he had a pirate hat on. I fucking hate those dogs, man. I hate her doing blue. I'd like to set loose Robert F. Kennedy. I'm over. I'm over in a set of Bluie, watch him

chow down on these pups every single one of these Australian damn dogs. Yeah, these bluey dogs, I mean, you never see a blue dog. Why aren't they getting RFK into the fucking voice acting business? Exactly. Dude, you know what would help? Using the master from fallout? Yeah, in the show.

He would be so perfect for any of that. You know, you know what they should do to help his public image. This is, okay, this is now kids, close your ears. Okay. To help Robert F. Kennedy's public image, we could get him a voice acting spot on Bluey. We get him a voice acting spot on Bluey, right? Because he ate a dog. Yeah.

He could do a whole episode of Bluey. That's the bad guy of the episode. He should be just greenscreen in like the gorilla and SpongeBob. Just reaching in like kind of weird directions, missing the kids. Well, he could be in Bluey at the end or maybe he's like a running for. president or prime minister oh yeah he's running for prime minister and he ate a human or no he he bluey tries to eat his brother oh yeah and he sits him down he's like you shouldn't eat you're really wrong to eat dog you're not supposed to run a dog yeah i don't believe i mean his

voice screams evil yeah obviously you've eaten a dog i mean if you're voting a dog i mean if you're for him you've eaten something crazy too yeah he's got like way more in the in the polls than I thought man yeah it's kind of like 9% or some shit it's pretty good that is well because they all because like the QAnon people believe that he's like

like they love the Kennedys for some reason right? Drewbio come out to play he did I yeah I believe he said I read something that he like said he was going to endorse Trump and Trump said no or something yeah he said like I'll endorse

you, but I thought he was running as like a independent. Yeah. Why would he endorse some, you can't endorse somebody else if you're running for president, can you? Well, that's, that's you like, just you drop out. Yeah, yeah. That's what you do when you drop out. Oh, was that that video of him on the phone with Trump? Have you seen that? There's a video of him

on the phone with, dude, can you imagine being on the phone with RFK? That would suck so bad. I can't understand what my phone is so far away from that. I can't understand what my girlfriend says on the phone and she talks normal. He'll be just here like, real. I think you're breaking up Yeah, sorry, no not Sorry, I got my headphones in, sorry, I can't hear you

He definitely has a tone that wouldn't pick up on the phone No, he's got a no phone tone He's got a no phone tone He imagine being his Alexa? Oh my God Can you imagine being in his Lexus? That'd be amazing But he does he throw it down hard?

Yeah, dude, you kidding me? I think he lies on his back and he hits it up He fucked his way into a village where you could eat dog of course he yeah they're not they the thing about a village like that where they eat dog and wherever he was at they're not going to let a white guy in unless he demonstrates his dick game strong absolutely well they knew they knew when he pulled up a picture of Cheryl on his phone uh huh when he takes a shit because Cheryl doesn't let any weak little boys in there no you gotta be a man oh oh oh oh what do you think the L what do you think the D stands for

and L D little dick not little dick not little dick not that'd be LD in yeah Larry David News. RFK pulled up to the village and he took his shit and the dick touched the water in the river. They took a picture of the other end of the river. Yeah. And they said, damn,

we're going to take you under our wing. We got to feed you this. Speaking of wings, you want some dog wings? We're going to treat you nice, man. We're going to get you some dog ribs. You want some dog wings with human sauce? This is how fucked up cannibals are

that sometimes they will eat disgusting stuff. and the human, they'll relegate to simply the sauce. That is sad. They want a blood sauce. They don't even, they just, and they don't use every part of the human either. They're not, like, being very honorable to the person. Cannibals are always acting OD. Because they literally will kill you to eat your pinky.

Have you seen the video of the journalist who hangs out with the cannibals and they put the part of the skull on his head or whatever? No, that's like a symbol of like, this guy's ready to be eaten. Yeah, they're just fully trying to scare the guy. Like, they're just, they're just come up and they're like, we're the crazy cannibals. And they take, like, a human ear or something and put it on his head. And the guy, the guy folds instantly. He's like, I want to go talk to the cannibals and they put a piece of meat on him.

And he goes like, I think, I think we need to leave right now. Is it a, uh, Hamilton Morris? Is it Hamilton's Pharmacopoeia is? It's a British guy. No, I think it's a thing is British. Okay. Is it what's his name? The awesome guy?

I don't know who is. I'm not going to know. What's the guy who interviewed Westboro Baptist Church and. Oh, Thoreau? Love Thoreau. I don't know who it was. The bald guy who interviews the game. Don't know him.

I know him. Robert Irvine. No. He's similar, though. He's similar. But it's like if you're planning a meeting with the cannibals, you got to be ready. Yeah. But anyway, the other point being the thing I was saying, the cannibals, it's like you are

already a cannibal. Yeah. You don't have to be coming in here and act like it's Halloween haunted house. We know. We're already scared. We know. We're already terrified. You've got to lick through the prison.

Like, come on, bro. You are right. His way OD. I guess they just don't want. Like, you're already the scariest guy on earth. Just act normal. No, people who, people whose favorite food is pizza.

They're not walking around going, I love pizza. Pepperoni. You'd be surprised, man. You'd be surprised. BBC journalists. Cheese perennelie. We traveled to this village in Italy.

We went to Naples to talk to the first piece of made pizza. I think we need to leave now. I think they literally want to eat pepperonies. Can we put pineapple? Don't forget the crust. Can we put pineapple on the pizza? What did you just say? You want to put pineapple on the pizza?

You just don't have to be acting so crazy. Right. That's part of your life. That's not you. It's just what you eat. You're not your hobbies. You're not your hobbies. You're not what you eat.

They are. I literally just said you're not what you eat. That might be the first time anyone ever said that shit. Yeah. Because you are what you eat, apparently. Yeah. So I guess I'm a pizza. I guess I'm a pizza.

I'd probably just be crust. I'm pad Thai for real. Do you just eat the crust? I'd just be crust. I know he's one of these motherfuckers. Pizza crust or just like a crusty crust? I know when you take his ass to Buffalo Wild Wings, you don't even have to order him and he just hand him the leftovers

and he'd be sucking all the marrow out of him, getting a little nasty bits off the side. The cannibal going to the restaurant, the waiter comes, and he says, yeah, I think I like what I see. I think I'll have that. Yeah, here's some cannibal jokes for you. Golden Corral, I thought this was Golden Carroll. I thought it was a woman named Carol.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Papa John, I'd love it. Yeah, I'll take some Papa Joe. Yeah, I'll take some of him. I'll take Papa John. I'll have Papa John. Yeah, I'll take... Speaking of, what do you think?

Yeah, who's McDonald? Oh, I get to eat the whole Burger King. Oh, oh, he sounds very regal and fat. I'll eat him. Yeah. Windy. Yeah, I like Wendy. Yeah.

I'll eat it. I'll eat her. Windy parts of her body go into my mouth. What do you think Papa John would taste like jerky? Papa John? I think he'd taste like beer. Yeah. He'd taste like...

A Papa John cocktail. I think you would taste literally like Mezcal. Yeah. I guess so. Who would be the tastiest? You. I thought about eating you probably 30 times since I've been eating. No, I would not taste good.

I would taste like Mountain Dew. Are you kidding me? I would taste like Mountain Dew. You would taste so, you have such an olive oil heavy diet. Yeah. You would be amazing. Who would be the tastiest spokesman is the question. The hamburger.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, good. I'm sorry Jared Yeah Yeah I don't even want to

But yeah Yeah But at least you get to kill him But you better But you better hope His powers Don't pass into you He did his blast

His powers His power Well that's what it was A horrific A horrific abuse of power I thought I got his powers that's great the brotherhood of mutants

as toad what's this guy do I don't worry I don't worry too much but it is about power but it is about power but it is about power thank you for saying that

it is it is I'm sorry to say it was never about sandwiches it was all about the power do you think that it do you think he would taste like waggie you

do you think he'd be like marbled that's the thing you would want the old Jared yeah I miss the old Jared in prison he got the hot or cold jared talking about subs yeah talking about some subs don't want them old jerry okay so we that bread don't mold jared yeah yeah because it's not even bread

apparently yeah it's literally fruit cake yeah or something legally it's fruit cake it's legal fluke fluk clake flip club fluke okay i'm gonna i i think i actually my slides are in the drive they're called copy of kid's shapes copy of kids shapes copy of kids shapes Something like that. Me and Pat putting all our things in the folders, handshake. Sunburn? Oh, he got sunburn. Oh, yeah.

I'm sorry. I got sunburn, too, but it's no big deal. I'm not even going to bring it up. Ball. Top of my head, burnt red. I got, I got some burns. Look at your bald ass. You look like a nut. Okay, beetle nut.

Beetle nut. He's not even a nut. He's got more burns than I got. A beetle nut is something you chew on that destroys your teeth. Is that true? Yeah. And people get addicted to chewing them and all their teeth fall out like Tom and Jerry. Is that one of those awesome drugs that are just a thing you chew on that are from the earth?

If I was from India, I literally would be so addicted to this nut, I realized. I have the gum addiction that would be if I lived in a place where they didn't have as much gum and they had more teeth destroying nuts, I would be on the nuts. I would have been on the nuts for years. Wasn't gum, didn't gum come from trees first? We had this discussion where I said that gum was made of rubber and you guys got mad at me because it was true. Yeah. You said rubber comes from a tree and we were like,

no way. That's not true because everyone knows rubber comes from a tree. What happens that you're trying to... I didn't know. I didn't know. Gum has rubber in it and you guys said, no, it doesn't. And then we looked it up and it was true. Right.

Well, I don't remember this, so you're... And now I've been holding on to it. And now I'm mad about it all again. Yeah. And you're pissing me off by saying that. Okay, so let's get into this, I guess. Science for Prick. God, I'm so glad I'm going last.

Who's Prick? It was the, I guess it was made. Yeah, you're a prack. I guess I walked into that. Colors and shapes. I'm seeing a pink circle right now. Can you go through the slide? Okay, next slide.

What colors and shapes do you know? I know the red. I meant to say red circle, but I know the red circle in the triangle. Blue, green, purple, yellow, seorange, orange, rhombus, olive, olive, olive. green. Olive is not a shape. Ciena.

All of is a shape. Burnt Cienna. I'm just going through the colors that I know first. All right. Hit the colors. Rage. Peach.

Food. Black. White. Took you that long to get to black and white. That's pretty impressive. You have a deep bag. Chartreuse.

Puse. Perry Winkle. Purple Mountains. Keep going. What? That's a Crayola color. Okay. Can we get a funk flex talking over this right now?

Auburn If you're in New York City right now Go into the nearest kindergarten And take all the crayons Those are your crayons Keep talking That's good Blue

I'm going to play this sound Over and over the next many hours This is a hypnosis sound You can blue green. Yeah, you can. Aquamarine blue green. Seafone green. Purple Mountains Majesty again.

He said that already. Put a beat down. No, you already. You doubled up. Yeah, you are. I doubled up. Now let me go to shape. Robis, square, octagon,

dodecahedron, uh, triangle, isotolese triangle, quadrilateral. you keep going man keep going man circle

go into the waiting room with the nearest dentist office and take all those toys those are yours all right let's see that for the rest of the slides here's some tips for identifying shapes

wait never mind let's identify colors and shapes colors what would you call this red and green half circle watermelon what would you call that shape house penis but why is Getting sexual

I'm that problem, kid It's not even I'm approaching three hours And you're already saying You know what What the dick hole bothers you Yes it bothers me Going from a kid

The meatus You don't want to hear a kid Talk about my sack You literally said dick hole So is a dickle or sack You decide My dick hole's on my sack It's all one thing

It's all one thing You two would literally be I'm not kidding You would be too grotesque, disgusting kids that I hate. Yeah, whatever you say, Mr. Cock. We'd be in solitary. They'd recoverers

rock. Solitary detention? Mm-hmm. What's that? You put them in one, you put them in the quiet room. Yeah, I'll take my attention in the bathroom. Mm-hmm. Okay, you can go to the bathroom if you want to eat shit so bad, shithead, me as a teacher. Damn. Damn, Mr. P's actually dope.

Yeah. Hey, fuck you, Faddy. Whoa, Mr. P's dope. Paces of shit. You two are dumb. If you want to eat shit so bad. I would say if you want to eat shit and go drink piss Go ahead and take this I would have trouble being a teacher because I would go Do do do do do yeah I don't I hate kids man

I want to never ever have if I have a kid I will leave Yeah that's why we shouldn't even have done a kid show We shouldn't even talk to these stupid fuckers Yeah mine I mean this is the most this is all I could That's your full slideshow No there's three more but they're basically just this Let's see the next one Okay, just like it. Let's see it. Let's see it. This was, this is one I forgot about. There's a couple I completely forgot about playing with triangles. So this is just, you can make an hourglass, a tree, or a boat. Okay. I did label them myself. Yeah. If you guys want to, you know, get into it. Yeah. So that's pretty impressive. Understanding geometric shapes. There's a tower, a rocket, a lion, and a ladybug. These are all made a different shape. Yeah. This is compelling. Yeah. So that's what I thought was pretty interesting about it. Let's remember some basic shapes. So just remember these.

Okay. So just commit these to your memory. Yeah, sure. And there's some awesome words. What? Next. Is that the full slide show? Is there no next?

Oh, yeah. There's a quote. There's a quote. Grief changes shape. Shape. But it never ends. Just like the circle. Circle never ends.

Yeah, that was like, I was looking up shape quotes. Matrix revolutions. Yeah. Oh, and what is a revolution do? It makes a circle. Every revolution is a circle. Brain, blue. A picture is worth a thousand words.

There's some kids drawing. You would think shapes. Next. Oh, whoops, I accidentally left this slide in. Okay. Let's just skip it. Well, you were... Next.

More about... Okay, well... Oh, how do I identify shapes? Okay, so I made this one. I don't know why I had four steps, so it's two steps. This is that you made... this last night the same, like after you made that list of boobs versus butts. So you made all this stuff. I made this. Everything that we're going to do in the next. No, one of them I made

over the weekend. Okay, but eight other ones? Yeah. Okay. This one is, yeah. This one I made on my phone. So it was pretty hard to edit it on my phone. So I just was kind of going for it. I don't think you needed. Oh my God, I just remember, I have to announce, it's a surprise what it is guys, but at the end of this episode, Patrick's going to perform an incredible feat. Oh, yeah. But I just wanted to, I wanted to cede that in. Get excited for that. That's about nine hours from now.

Yeah. So I get very, very excited for that. So you can always tune back in if you're, but just, yeah. And then just run through this. There's not much here, and we're coming into the top of the hour. Harth? Oh, yeah. Harth.

Because the star is my favorite. Harth, I said, gayest shape, IMO. Oh, okay. So here's a good one. This is an activity. So what color is that? Pink, dark, purple. Oh, okay.

It was pink What? That's not pink It was supposed to be What are you talking? It's supposed to be pink There's some kind of issue I need this What is this one Patrick?

Jesus, okay Smartney, blue and yellow Okay You kind of bodied that man You might go to nationals There's a mistake in the lesson What is the mistake man? I'm going to go to the principal

I'm not going to argue with you You're going to go to the principal Really They're going to give me a gift card You're going to go to the principal Wait you get a gift card If you report a teacher If I show if I show

If I show an error, yeah, I'm going to get a good card. Well, what if I tell the principal that you've been using gum as a bookmark? It's my personal book. I brought it from home. It's literally not your business. It's really not. Liberal. Whoa.

You can't say that. I'm not a effing book. I'm not political. I'm not political. Stay out of my effing. Okay. I'm fine with you saying effing. Mr.

P. Mr. P. Mr. P? Yes. S my D and smell my A. Go. Yeah, I want a. Go. Oh, I get a break. Stay.

You have to stay and you have to unpeel all the gum off of every single page of the Bible that you put it in. Go. Or stay, I mean. Damn. Okay. And let's go and look what's under your desk. How about that? No, no, no, no, no, no. Let's look at what you've been writing under your desk. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Don't look. Don't look. Don't look. Don't look. Don't look.

Don't look. Don't look. Please don't look. What's this? Cameron's in trouble? No, no, no, no, please don't look. Some sort of. Okay, there's a weird X. I don't know what that's all about. Some weird strange X. Do you know what this is?

No. It's the logo for X, my favorite app. Oh, okay. Well, it's got some extra parts on it. And then, oh, what's this? It says I love Mr. P. Really? Damn.

You spell love pretty differently than we do in my family. That's not how I taught you to spell love. L-U-V. S-U-C-C-K. I suck. I suck. that's what it says. Okay, now I think I do need to go to the Britsmore really quick. I don't.

I sucked to Mr. Pete. That's what he said I wrote. Yeah. That's not right. Oh. I'm going to go ahead. Okay, let's see the rest of your PowerPoint, man. Yeah.

I want to play. Let's let's next. Let's keep going. No, come on. I want to see this, bro. You made this for us. It's so embarrassing, man. Please show me more of the slideshow.

Okay, go to the next one. It's another. activity. Okay, next, please. Did you do any work on this one? This one, it doesn't seem like you'd really change much of it. I didn't do this stuff because I thought we could do the activity together. That's the end?

Give me a hat. Give me the hat. You don't need a hat. We don't need it. We're already at three hours. Yeah. We can go to the next thing. We're a quarter through.

And with that, I have to pee. Very insane. Perfect sync. Very, very insane. This keeps happening. Oh, yeah, the phone gets stuck. Happen to me all the time. Oh, yeah.

Can you talk about the jeans a little bit? My friend Henry made these jeans, and they look like the first pair of Levi's ever invented. They're based on. They're based on it. They're based on the first genes. They're based on a real gene, the first gene ever. They're pretty sick.

But there's a real problem getting out of a chair in them. Yeah, they've got a chair hooks. So where do they have these chairs usually? If you go to a church that is in like an office building? Underground. Yeah, if you go to an underground church because the government is persecuting Christians They're trying to remove the Bible from the page

This is the kind of chair you'd be sitting in Do not wear those jeans, I'm sorry, Henry Yeah Henry, you made jeans that are going to wreck a church Okay, welcome to No You're kidding I didn't even do that on purpose

I was just here You didn't even press that on purpose? I didn't even put this on the board Oh for this welcome to car talk car talk now if you know anything about us three we're just a triple of guys I don't know what's three of color couple a thruple where's the throuple guys who like cars oh yeah yeah a couple or thruple of gearheads a gearheads yeah I'm always all up in the gear box

yeah hey and oiling and listen carheads this might mean something of your car head 10 and 2 10 and 2 yeah Favorite times between which I drive. Oh, well, I was thinking more of this, where you put your hands on the wheel. I put my hands at six and seven. That's an odd. Left hand on seven. Here? Left hand on seven, right hand on six.

Well, that's what this would be. Oh, I mean the other way around. Oh. You don't know left from right? Yeah. Wait, how do you drive like that? That's how I drive. Right hand on seven, left hand on six?

Like this. I can't even make my... Hold on. It's easier. It's a special... You know how, like, people will play like Dark Souls

holding the controller upside down and shit? Oh, yeah. It's like that. Speed running. It's better if you want to use items more... More efficient.

Okay, that's interesting. Yeah. I mean, we're just going to talk about cars for an hour. So I just had a question, I wanted to start it off and just be like,

you know... What makes cars go? It gets gas. Yeah. Is it the gas or is it something else? Could it just be something else? Let me think. It could be just a magical thing.

I think with, okay, so here's my understanding of how a car works. The gas goes into a big bucket. Bucket or bowl or something. There's a bucket at the bottom. And then there's a lighter. I actually don't know how a car works at all. I think I could. I think the cast swings the wheel.

What are you talking about? The gas. Oh, the gas. So the gas, it spins the wheel by moving. Oh, it's a water wheel, but they use gas just because it's funny. Yeah, it's more expensive. Okay. So the gas is what fuels.

We can agree the gas goes in the hole. The car. We can start there. As far as I know. But you need the gas to, so the pistons move. You pissed in your gas hole? And the pistons go that way. Yeah, you are mating with the car. They go this way.

They go up and down like that. I wish, as a car guy, I wish I could mate with my car. She's beautiful. Oh, yeah. And by the way, I call her a she. even though it's a literal car the most male thing ever A V-17 Camaro

Bone white Bone white six wheels Lifted 12 feet lifted And you know why you gotta lift it Trunk all the way Goes all the way up What is your dream car

Spoiler on the front Windshield Spoiler in the back Spoiler on the front Spoiler on the side of the car 6 cents he was dead the whole time That's fucking good That's good

I was about to do a different spoiler But I couldn't think of one prize car I would say is the one that you win at Dave and Busters when you get

enough tickets right but you haven't done that I almost did you can get a car from Dave and Buster you get an RC car it's 4,000 tickets

fuck you because my car my car I was describing my car my Camaro is actually also RC really I sit in the back seat

I have a remote that I can that's bad ass dude wow the myth busters do that too man I got myth busters on the brain

I'm sorry yeah I've been watching these videos where Adam Savage says that he's a certain thing. No, I don't watch those kinds of videos, man. And by the way, I got ads off just in case all of this

it's true about him. But I wonder how many people know about the blob. I think it's not, I wonder if it's common knowledge or not. It's not very common knowledge. I don't know I've ever heard anybody outside of our circle.

Yeah. If your circle is not discussing the blank blob. Yes. Adam Savage is the blank blob. Yeah. Then you got a lot. Again, if you've just tuned in,

Google Adam Savage, The blob. Leave a space between the and blob. And see. Can you look it up to see if it shows up? No, I don't want it to ruin the episode with a blob talk. So let's not talk about the disgusting blob Adam Savage. And by the way, he is a blob.

He's let himself go. Yeah. And Jamie Heinemann. And the police let him go. Yeah. Jamie Heineman. Why is he out of the public eye? Yeah, Jamie Hyman.

More like high by man. And he's saying hi to all these virgins hymins that he's breaking. What the hell? Hi, hi. You know he gets a lot off being on that TV show? He doesn't get Squish off MythBusters? He literally probably does. I don't think so.

Did they bust a myth about Squish? Did they? They must have, right? That was really sad when that Grant guy passed away. Yeah. Yeah, that was too sad to even joke about it. You think he's looking down on us right now? Yeah, man.

I would say that we are the continuance of the MythBusters. I think all three of us together have elements of Grant. I'm straight up Carrie, no doubt. Yeah? I'm careful. Carrie, Carrie Grant. Who am I? Who's the third guy?

It's Carrie, Grant, and who is the third guy? Wow, Justin. I'm really glad we didn't have Julio Google that. Why? As the top results are not good. Really? Yeah. Don't shine a good light on him.

Oh, okay. I might have to stop watching my videos where he talks to people about the world. All right, I got my car talk presentation here. Oh, okay. We can talk through. Mine is some... Do you have one? Some questions, some prompts, and we can just, you know, kind of freewheeling.

I thought this is a freewheeler. Freewheeler, if you know what I'm talking about. Mine is pretty short and pretty freewheeler, so it's not a big deal. Freewheeler, a whale movie. Let's, I don't even remember what I put in here, to be honest. I think this is one of the first ones. What's the best car movie? Sorry.

So here, that's actually, let's talk about that. Yeah, go back here, get this off the screen and let's talk about that first. No, okay. The best car movie's got to be. Okay. I don't, okay, yeah. Yeah, me personally. I like Mad Max.

That's not a car movie. That's about the apocalypse, yeah. Any movie with humans in it is not actually one car movie. There's two. Okay. There's three. Then. There's three.

Yeah, sorry. There's one car franchise. Yeah. There's only one franchise. Hmm. There's only one car's franchise. Yeah, you don't get airplanes. Planes are not a type of car, man.

Airplane is not a car. It's called planes. It's called planes. So that's not even part of the cars. And you guys are forgetting bikes, too. They have a movie called bikes. you guys haven't seen bikes no we should just watch it right now

I've already watched it two times what the hell's bikes about we'll talk about it another time okay all right let's get into this first question maybe we can help these people out what do these signs mean 2012 so not a Hyundai so I think that they are probably asking

about some of this lit up signs but I think there's a good opportunity let's just go across this entire dashboard I don't know exactly what they're asking what sign they're asking about let's just what does everything on this mean so that on the left describe what you're saying

because people aren't going to be able to see what you're pointing at. On the left side of the thing with the RPMs. Uh-huh. Real pimp motherfucker. That's what that means. That's me. Yeah. Times 1,000, real pimp one thousand.

So I guess that's how many spins that your car is making. Uh-huh. And then C and H is cold and hot. See, I thought that that was going to be crazy and I'm relaxed. Here's the one that I've never understood. And I own a car, right? What is up with the hair comb that is, floating in the ocean.

That tells you whether or not your car is able to float. So why did they choose a cone? So if you were making, so if it was eight, if it was eight times a thousand RPM, that age would go all the way up and then you would be able to skid across water like a stone. Now there's a symbol here that's lit up in orange on kind of the top of the dashboard. It looks a little bit like it could be a car seat with the circle on top of the car seat. and what this sign means is there's a fatty. Oh, I thought that was somebody catching a rebound playing basketball.

I also thought it had to do with basketball. Well, it has to do with a basketball shape of gut. Oh, that's the car is detecting saying, I ain't moving. You get out and walk. Interesting. And what about this little fish? That is, well, again, that has to do with the sailboat. On the bottom.

Oh, okay. Are you sure this isn't the boat's front part? This could be. I did think that this could be a boat, okay, until I saw the picture of the car. But here's what I'm thinking. Because that's there to remind you, you're in a car. But what does it say above that? This is empty, and what does a boat become when it's empty?

Distance. Or a car become. A car becomes a boat when it's empty. A boat becomes a car when it's empty of what? Of gas. That turns into a car when it has no more gas? You get it on the one of the, you get it on the one of the, on the trailer

and then it's now it's got wheels has wheels that whole time which one I'm confused whether or not you mean

the car has wheels or the cars have wheels too but the boat gets wheels it gets put on top of a trailer you guys have

never even been on a boat I have I've been on a boat I was just on a boat really this morning what model was it tea

yeah that's what I thought that's not a model T that's a car. What? Yeah, that's a car.

As big as a boat. It was probably smaller than any modern car that we have. It's not smaller. So hopefully this answers this person's question what these symbols mean.

Yeah. Well, the one I'm going on the right. The numbers? Yeah, these are, those are just me are numbers. How many parking tickets you have? Yeah.

Yeah, that's why is the P. There's the P for parking tickets. And then there's a bird with a with a dragon tail above the B. And that's the bald eagle. I don't know, I don't know what that is.

You need a call from no caller ID. That's scary. That's a haunting. That's a haunting. You pick that out? I wouldn't pick that up. That's a haunting. That's a haunting.

That's a dead-ass haunting. That's somebody, you give it. You still have the same phone number? Maybe. I think that's a prank. So let's go to the next question here that I don't remember what it is. 2004 Honda Element slurping noise. So I'm waiting for payday to change the thermostat.

It's stuck closed. When I got home from work tonight, after I stopped, there was a slurping noise like a dog drinking really loudly coming from the engine any ideas I'm gonna come out

and say Occam's razor yeah simplest simplest explanation is the correct one the dog is drinking your end

dog is drinking the juice out of the engine because there's there's stray dogs all the time there's always a stray you ever see people get

people get rats that climb up in their cars in New York City and then they in the suburbs this happens with dogs

in the suburbs happened my dad a dog crawled into his car a rat yeah

oh okay a dog My old dog crawled under my dad's car. My dog went into the passenger seat to the car when it was supposed to sit in the backseat. That was a funny picture. I bet that was a funny pick. Didn't take a pick.

Just hit it. Newspaper. There you go. Newspaper, hell no. Yeah, newspaper and I'm reading the metal newspaper Times. And it's like a baseball bat that I'm hitting my dog with. Yeah. Could also be somebody siphoning.

Your engine. The power from your engine. I think somebody's under your car sucking out all the juice. Are you familiar with a little franchise called the borrowers? Oh my God, you could have a borrower.

Guess what they have? Guess what they have? Little-ass cars. And guess what they need small, very small amounts of gas. It's really, you're not even going to notice

how much gas they took. And think, you know, they're loud slurpers. In the borrowers, why is it such a fucking issue that they're taking like a grain of rice? Shut up,

bitch, you fat. Why you need? Where's my right? Where's my grain of rice? Please. Oh, God.

Shut the fuck up. Shut up, man. What, they want one tenth of a percent of your t-shirt? Who gives a shit, man? They need to make their own clothes. Yeah, they need a bed, dude. Don't be such a dickhead to these borrowers.

They're literally native to your house. If I was a borrower, I'd probably be buck naked. Yeah. You're too bare-ass naked. Yeah, well, that's also the problem, but it is, you know what? If I saw a borrower in my house and they were naked,

well, I mean, you see a borrower wearing clothes. Yeah. At least he has some decency. At least he knows, oh, I can't show my little penis or my little boobs and butts all the time. If they look like humans, you can't squish them. No. Do they have tails?

They had, no. No. They had, who crazy hair had tails? Is that Secret World of Arietti? What is that? Did the borrowers have tails? That's the movie. Who had tails?

I think the borrowers might have had tail. Maybe this is a... You're thinking of flushed away, bro. I like flushed away. They had tails because they were rats. Somebody had tufted tails. Did the borrowers have tails? I don't know.

I don't think they did. I think they were just human. Who had a tail like that? I think they did. Now I'm confused. I feel like they might have. Now I'm completely confused. Can we Google if the borrowers had tails?

Please show me if the borrowers had tails. Please show it to me. Please. Did the borrowers have tail? Whoa. Whoa, that's an auto-complete. They had tails. They have to have tails.

Okay, let's see. if the littles had tails the littles I guess they're a type of borrower were the littles what the borrowers were based on what are the littles no okay so the littles had tails

and they look like mice yeah the little's so the borrowers had no another thing all the little people had to but the little's had tails I'm thinking of the littles I remember reading the littles I don't know what they are

look at them wow I knew Stuart Little I want to know that guy. I want to be friends with this big guy. This is Jordan Peterson's book before the Globster one. John Pete. But the borrower is, the point is, man. The little's in the terrible tiny kid.

Oh, bastard. Yeah. But if the bar was come through, they steal some of your gas. Swatter. You're not even going to, no. No. Not even going to know how to worry about it. It doesn't do anything to you.

All right. What's the next car talk question we got here? Is this a listening or tracking device in my car? Unfortunately, yes. Yeah, I hate to say it. I'm sorry I actually don't know what that is. That is the carpool karaoke mic. Someone in the car with James Gordon taking a picture.

What the hell is this thing? Is someone listening to us? There's a camera crew. There's cameras surrounding the car. What the hell is happening? That's, yeah, and then they do the Broadway on the crosswalk. Yeah. And that's obviously a sci-up.

Did you see that photo a couple years ago where somebody happened upon the filming of carpool karaoke? And it was like, they're on like a flatbed. They put the car on a flatbed and they don't actually drive. That makes sense. Yeah. Well, that makes the most sense. I would say that doesn't make the most sense.

It was like, it was like. Because again, I'm an Occam's Razor, man. It was like, oh, yeah, of course, like, that's going to happen. They do movie, movie tragic. That's what I call it. They do movie tragic on Carbu. Oh, here it is. Yep.

That's a, I want that device for my car. Yeah. So I don't have to drive. You get to pretend. Yeah, you get to sit there and pretend to be an, what is that, an excursion? I'm like that. And then you can take an excursion to drive. Yeah.

You want to be Maggie. You can treat it as an excursion. You want to be a full Maggie. Yeah, but Maggie is really controlling the car. What's a Maggie? Oh, you mean like the Simpson? A theory that's been proven. Maggie's controlling the car.

Marge is the one faking it. Yeah. Marge, you know what? I heard this theory the other day. Marge is the baby. I heard a theory that Homer's the dad and they're collecting evidence. That's one's true. It's been confirmed by the creator.

I haven't seen a. confirmation yet from the creator. Bill Oakley said it. I don't trust Bill Oakley. Who hell's Bill Oakley? I don't know. That's why I don't trust him. He's one of the writers. So just one of the writers isn't enough. I want all the writers to come forward holding hands. Homer is the dad. Guys, I think my chair is breaking.

Boo-hoo. I think the pants broke the chair. I think me lifting up because I just felt, look. Oh, yeah, it's broken. That's fine. Just don't mess with it. You know what it is? I'm going to lean back.

We're putting a lot of, speaking of cars, putting a lot of miles on. on these chairs in one day. Let's see what else we have here. Why did my entire wheel fly off? So any thoughts? I think I know why. I think the car went too fast. Yeah.

Well, one wheel went faster than the car. This is what happens when you don't have your wheels balance. One wheel goes faster than the rest of the car. You put on one wheel that's faster than the other wheels. You have one race car wheel and like three. That's why you rotate the wheels. Yeah. Because if you don't rotate the wheels,

have to rotate it. The car won't go. Yeah. That's good. I bet they say that on car talk every day. Well, the guy died from car talk. What was car talk? You never listen to car talk? It keeps having. Car talk was a show on NPR National Public Radio. I never listened to NPR growing up. It was about two guys. That explains a lot. Or maybe three guys. I don't know. I think it was two. two guys? I think. It was two guys and they would basically talk, they did this. They would talk about cars all there. It was a radio show about cars. People would call in.

And the guys were noted for being funny. And then one of them, I think, died of cancer. It was very sad. At least it wasn't a car accident. This guy's a fucking family. Warning. Warning. He was really sad.

He was a young guy. How old was like 72 oh Jesus he's still laughing still laughing I'm crying and I'm laughing again I think about that

you think that's what it sounded like when he died his last death rattle sounded like that that's his soul leaving his body goodbye no that's wrong but yeah let's keep going here I still don't remember anything

about this can a choke cable be legal remember this question This is from a car. I think this might be from the Car Talk forums. Oh, okay. Can a choke cable be legally used to set engine throttle to a certain position? This is from Robert Gift. Bobby Gift, on long drives, I'd like to use cruise control.

Attempting to maintain set speed, it too often advances the throttle too much, causing the transmission to downshift and making the engine rev. I'd rather have just one throttle position. When the vehicle slows up a hill, fine. I'd remember to push in the throttle of a braking situation, or is the throttle electronically coupled to the accelerator? Thank you. So this guy's asking, can I use a cable to hold down my gas pedal while I'm driving on the highway?

I don't see why not. Yeah, I think you should be allowed to do that. I don't see what the issue with that would be. Isn't that how... It's the same as your foot. Yeah. Yeah. These days, people have fake legs.

People have cables in their body. Yeah, you have to do now. If you use a fake leg to use the accelerator, is that illegal? No. No. It shouldn't be. It shouldn't be. But it is.

A fake breast to use the... The steering wheel? Oh, my go. He's a fake breast to hold the horn down. If it's not attached to your body, then it's still your body part. Yeah. My body parts are not attached to my body.

Rayman. That's a straight up lie. You're not Rayman. You're a rain man because you're a genius. And you're one of them. Okay, I'll take that. I'll still accept that compliment. Thank you very much.

You're really super smart and you should be the main character of most stuff. Yeah. Like Rayman? except for Rayman because Rayman is literally a jumping bean what is Rayman

I don't fucking know man I tried to play one Rayman game because I played a bunch of Donkey Kong games and online everyone's like yo if you like Donkey Kong check out Rayman

and the intro for that game is the most insane intro I've ever seen for a game you log it and it's like you need to collect the protons from cartoon land

because the evil sorcerer Babeluzar it's so crazy yeah did you make Babeluzar I made that one up but it's as crazy they're called

the Protunes Pro tunes. You get pro tunes and electunes. I'm a pro tune. And you're Rayman. I'm pro tune. Yeah. But on Cartoon Network.

But on Boomerang right now, bitch. But a game's intro is supposed to be once upon a time. Yeah. There was a guy with no arms or legs. There was another game. Exactly the same style as Rayman. What was that? But it was called Plok.

Plok. Yeah. PLOK. You know that you are, I think I recognize that name. You know that you have made a pretty shitty game when you get one up. The most popular thing to come out of your game is the rabbits, man. Yeah.

The ravids are cool. The rabbits are funny as fuck. The rabbits are fun, neat. I had the Rayman's Raving Rabbits game for DS. I was obsessed with it. And then I think my parents didn't like it because they didn't like the rabbits. It's giving you the wrong.

Parents are usually anti-rabids, I think. And then I lost the game. And just about like a month ago, I thought to myself, oh my God, I think my parents might have taken the game from me. You think they jacked the rabbits? I think that could have been possible. I think that they took it maybe to, because I remember being like, I lost it and being like, I have no idea where it could have gone.

I looked everywhere. I was obsessed with that game. I was like. Did they take it from you because you were too obsessed with it? Because they maybe didn't like the message it was sending. To be raving. To jump around and rave. Yeah.

And they're a little disabled. Who? Okay. I didn't want to say this. But this is the elephant in the room. You always dance around with the rabbits. This is why parents are anti-rabbit. They're fully disabled.

they are. I think that's probably why my parents didn't like it. They're mentally disabled white children. I think my parents wouldn't be the type to do that kind of thing. Yeah. But if there was anything, I could see them doing that with the rabbits. They didn't want you. Because it was such a mysterious losing of the game. They didn't want you in a target parking lot saying like I found a rabbit in real life. Yeah. That would have been really bad. So I get it. I get it. I don't think I would let my kids play raving rabbits. I don't think I would either. Yeah. All right. Let's go next here. perpetual motion compressed air engine basically I don't even know we don't have to read this whole thing but I'm interested in perpetual motion but I was just going to add the lead up to this yeah is how would you guys create a perpetual motion

engine for a car I would because this part the thing is not the only interesting part here is my friend and I got in a huge discussion he says some guy in France has invented a car that recharges its own air tanks and you drive it down the road can run indefinitely I think that that would be

an air-powered car, an air-powered car that refills its own air tanks. How do you fill up the air tanks in the first place? And where does the air go? Yeah. In the car, in the air tanks. But how does the air turn into forwardness? So the air is compressing. So it's sucking air.

What's the air? It's air powered. Once you start going fast enough, the air is going to go in. I don't know. I'm not in France. That's true. You think it's, do you think it's being in France has to do with anything? Yeah, because they have a very windy.

Culture is different there. Yeah. They have different outlooks on women. On perpetual motion also. Perpetual motion. And they want to be moving perpetually because they got away from all the... They believe in every single neighborhood that they live in. French people believe in perpetual motion.

They believe you should be moving perpetually. From the whole life. Which is why they eat snails, because snails are moving very slowly perpetually. Yeah. Let's think about perpetual motion. What do I know about perpetual motion? Sharks, speaking of sharks, sharks always have to keep up. Sharks are perpetual motion machines.

Oh, a perpetual motion machine. Let's make a car that's a shark. That's a good. That's a good idea. They had they made that already. You should make a shark car. And then when somebody asks, how does it, how does it work? You say, it can't stop.

Look up shark cruiser. Let me see the shark cruiser. Shark and then roozer. Shark cruisery board. Shark cruiser. Another French thing. Shark crookery. Yep, shark cruiser.

Whoa. So they made this already. Oh, I've seen this. This is how I would. I've seen this on the road. I've seen this have it. Yeah, I've had this. I would do this for a perpetual car.

Yeah, this is the perfect perpetual car. And I would probably have a wizard bless it. Yeah. Well, you can make anything rude perpetually if a wizard blesses it. A wizard blessing. Yeah. I guess that's a pretty good answer. It's magic.

Yeah. Magic school bus. They put gas in that motherfucker? Yeah. Really? I think it eats burgers. Does it? Is this a real memory?

It's got a face. it doesn't eat food I don't think it eats burgers though burgers just could be but it eats must eat I don't think it eats I think it just has gas in it Magic school bus

fuel but it has a face and a mouth you're not going to discount that right that doesn't look like a bus that looks like a kid It's got yellow on it Oh that's Arnold Fuck Arnold

He was a bitch He was a total bitch He's such a fucking loser Dude I fucking hate him And look and look He's eating the peat The what is that peanuts

He's eating a monopoly piece And he's eating his bus He's so fucking stupid He ate his bus Why did they choose They went inside of a kid Why do they do that Because those are all the characters

To look at the body Why do you got to make it all Disgusting sexual It's not disgusting sexual It's disgusting physically Because you're going inside of a kid's body Or anyone's body Butter

You go in anyone's body as a bus But what But I'm saying what The body's not Inherly Just go inside of a body Yeah Even for science class

Especially for science class. Why? Why? Especially. Because you're doing scientific experiments.

They didn't do experiments. They were trying to get out. They just looked. He ate, if I remember correctly, he ate like a,

like a jack or something. They were trying to get it out. They were trying to push it out his butthole. Okay. Well, they, I don't remember the butthole. I don't think they did that.

Heave! Like the gates of a medieval castle. I don't think that they did that. They pushed a poop out of his butt. Hey! I don't remember that. Did they just constipated?

They're like, could you guys go in and push a poo out? They didn't show the intestines on that episode, did they? They went to the stomach. They were on a giant ton. Oh, yeah, they turned around. Yeah, we don't want to go. Yeah, we're not going there. Yeah.

Let's see the next thing here. This is, what's your favorite bumper sticker? And now we get some examples from people. And then I'd like to come up with some of our own. Okay. So here's some people's favorite bumper stickers. written in elaborate old English lettering Eschew obfuscation

What is that supposed to What's the So that means So SHU is like Don't be done with it Be done Get rid of Obfuscation is like to make something

complex or hard to understand So they're saying it's kind of It's like it's ironic Oh okay This is a little more intellectual Than maybe you would have expected Exactly It takes a brainer

And let's look at the next bumper sticker This one I think is also a brainer from Randeranderin, a sort of anti-piano sticker, subvert the dominant paradigm, play an accordion. A sort of anti-piano sticker. I hate how mechanics talk. They're so intellectual. It's so annoying.

These mechanics didn't grease all over their keyboard type of and shit. You can never understand them, man. And then I think I had one more bumper sticker, another kind of intellectual one. Tester. And this is from Tester. Tester. Okay, see, this is actually a mechanic. I'm a mechanic, all misspelled.

and then I fix cars. Tester said, tester. Tester. That's a good. I mean, by that logic, I'd like mine to say, Caleb. I want one that says tester. No, you don't.

You know, it's a good bumper sticker. What? It's like a bumper sticker that says like, perishable items. Okay. Put that on the back of your car. My cod is thawing.

Please let me merge. You would have some. Here we go. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's really good. I just came from my god is dying please let me merge

please let me merge three bumpers a blinker right next to that you waving crazily that next to a sticker of you just like I like the ones that are excusing bad driving

I really really like those ones yeah be patient with me. I'm not that good at driving. Yeah. Those are good. That kind of thing is good. I suck. I suck. You must think I suck. You all must hate me. You must hate me. You must hate me. Dot, dot, dot, dot on the back of your car.

I'm fucking sorry. I'm so sorry. I like the one that's a, oh my God, he's early. He's 30 minutes early. 30 minutes early. Look, he's listening to music. He's getting all hyped up. He's listening to Fort Miner. He's just a fort minor. Dun, dun, dun, no, no, no, no, no.

You look sharp. Joe, you're looking good. Okay, yeah, we're going to continue. Yeah, we've got to get this 30 minutes over quicker. Gee, what's another bumper sticker we could think of? What about one that's like faster? I'm going as fast as the car goes. I'm going as fast as the car goes.

I'm going 60 miles per hour. It's fucking broken. Yeah. Just like me. My car is fucking broken just like me. Dude, I saw it yesterday. I was trying to catch a bus to come here. And the bus went by me.

And I was like, what the hell's wrong with this bus? And then it said in flashing lights on the side of the bus, call police emergency. Oh, my God. And I didn't do anything. I just looked up what that meant. And it was like, if you see this, you should call the police. So something bad happened on that bus. Or the guy accidentally pressed the button.

Yeah. They said that that happens a lot because the bus looked empty. Yeah, it was a glitch. Because you have to go back to the station to reset it. That's going to be so annoying. Oh, really? And they said that the pedal that makes that happen is right next to the gas pedal. So apparently it's a big problem.

Wait, they have a panic button? I didn't even know that could be. Yeah, it's so... I mean, of course they have a pan. And then you can't reset it until you go back to the station. That's so funny. Yeah. But I saw one in that.

I mean, that guy could be, the bus driver could be dead. I don't fucking know. It's true. Likely. I just didn't do shit. It'd have been a ghost driving it. Me and about 10 other people waiting for the bus. Just watch that thing go by.

Zero phones came out. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? What is a mess? You know what they say. You know what they say. When there's an emergency, you need 911 to be called. You have to give that task to a specific person because the crowd effect, no one's going to do it. If you see someone get hit by a car, what you're supposed to do, yeah, you're supposed to go, you call 911.

Yeah, pick somebody. So that's what the bus needs to do. It needs to put just a name on there. You know what they should have? And if they drives by someone with that name, they're going to do it. Like that bus said Caleb called the police. I would have done it probably. But don't they have a camera on the back of the bus, like a rear camera?

So there's video of me going like, oh, I wonder what that that means. But you know what it should do, right, with that rear camera, it facial recognition. It zooms in on the first person, it says, you call the police. That's a good idea. You call now. Yeah, that is a good idea. Yeah. And they wouldn't make it because it makes sense.

But that's a good bumper sticker too. Emergency call police. Yeah. Have that on all the time. That's really funny. Undercover cop. There's another one. That's good.

That's funny. Ambulance. That's funny. Undercover ambulance. Backwards. Ambulance wrap. Oh, that's good. On my Ford Focus.

Yes. How about this? A giant bumper sticker that says Papa John's all the way across so that you literally look like a pizza delivery car. What about a, here's a new type of bumper sticker. Okay. Just a big ass bumper sticker that covers the whole car. And it's like a leopard print. Yes.

And it covers the windows too. Or it's got like art of Master Chief or something. How about a giant bumper sticker of the entire car and it's the Dominican flag? Yeah. Or it's a bumper sticker of a different car So it looks like you have a cooler car With like negative space So it looks like you have a really tiny corvette

Or the Donkey Kong car from Mario cart We have different ideas of cool cars I learned right now Yeah, oh the Mario car Could be cool That would be pretty cool Could be the move Okay these are the things that I found

So the first thing I went to You know my ass went to the freaking Cybertruck forums Oh, I'm sick of these cars. And look at this actually fucking sick logo right here. I will say... If they weren't made by... If they weren't made in America,

they would be the coolest car ever. The fact that they're made in America is so whack. If they were a Chinese car, like the other EVs, I would buy one. Next slide. Got flipped the bird on the road. Any drivers experienced the middle finger by ice truck. truck drivers. Today I got a double whammy for the bird plus a thumbs down. Really wonder how they could, how they would be if I was parked and we were both outside of our

cars. Note, I'm one of the few FSCs in Northern Ohio in Idaho. So there's a couple of things here. What is an ice truck? I don't know. It can't be ice. Filled with ice. But why is it capital everything? I don't know. Like the Border Patrol. That's how you spell ice. In capital? In, in, all caps when you spell them. man name on ice yeah like ice cubes and what is f s ct is cyber truck

fs is fetal alcohol syndrome yeah okay so and look in their look at their profile picture they have fetal alcohol syndrome that's what it looks like they have a social club the fetal alcohol syndrome cyberstruck drivers in northern Idaho it's a big group that's like a

union sticker yeah that's another good Fetal alcohol syndrome cyber truck owners of Northern Idaho Next slide This is somebody who has evidence Also what can I say really quick The bird and a thumbs down

Yeah damn Double whammy That's crazy Hey keep one hand on the wheel there No no no he misinterpreted He's saying no I'm not Against people thumbsing you Or I'm against people flipping you off

You're good Yeah no this I'm not doing this I'm not doing this I'm not doing this that this, I'm not doing. That's how it's smart. Yeah.

I like you. Yeah. Because this means that. Yeah. Yeah. This is a double negative. Yeah, exactly. Thank you.

Next slide. This is somebody with evidence of them getting flipped off. Whoa. Next slide. Yeah, par for the course up here. Most are done laughing. Yeah, I don't know where that guy is. Am I the only person here who would like Elon to shut the fuck up, close due to politics?

Wow. Yeah. No one wanted. I didn't go through that. I just thought the title was really funny. Next slide. I love my cyber truck, and this is a poem by Cyber Jam. Wow.

I used to drive my car on gas when I drove it around. The price kept going up and up when I drove into town. But now I'm so happy that my truck so freaking large, I have a shiny cyber truck right here in my garage. And their occupation is retired sometimes rock star. Aw. Wait, what does the FS mean? I don't know what FS.

They see it again, FS. All the drive. Front steering? Ferrari, sort of. Ferrari sort of. And their location is in their cyber truck. So you're right there, CT. That's true.

Next slide. This is an R slash Uber from the user P and Uber cars nine years ago. They said, had someone poop in my car, what to do. I'm parked by I-95. And then shit talk four says, P in Uber cars. Did you find pee as well or just poop? You should carry adult diapers and ask if your poops and jurors need them going forward.

I'm going to drop a steamer on your hood next time. A nice no-change hood ornament for you. Can you imagine really having someone shit in your Uber? And this guy's like, oh, hmm, you want me to poop in your car? I'm going to drop a steamer on your hood. I'm going to drop a steamer. Shit talk for. The worst thing that could ever happen in an Uber to the driver has happened.

Well, his name is P in Uber cars. Yeah, it's obviously a burner account. You're not going to put it on your main account. But he should have said poo and Uber car. Probably taken. Oh, yeah. I'm going to drop a steamer on you. Dude, I'm fucking parked on the side of the highway.

I'm in the situation. I frantically made a Reddit account. Jesus, what do I do? I'm on I-95. That's horrible. Oh, my God. Poo-Singers also. I'm feeling... Dude, I would kill myself right when I read Poopsinger's.

I'm feeling an empathic urge to kill myself from imagining this situation. I would drive off a bridge. Do you think that the poop was like they were mad and they took their pants off and they pooped right on the chairs? That's crazy too that they pooped in the

like it's not like they pooped. It didn't say they shit my pants. They sit their pants in my pants. They just their pants in my car. They pooped in the car. They did not do like I blew up the back because they were sitting down. Blow out.

They did not get a blow out. Yeah, they had a. Somebody took out the butt and did do in the middle seat. I think so. in the cup holder. That must have been what it was. Yeah.

Cup holder's easy. Poopsinger's though? Poops injures is some crazy shit. Yeah. Next slide. R slash chameleons. Help chameleon. This is the kind of stuff

that you say answer on car talks. Yeah. Here's what you do. There isn't really anything funny about the title. Next slide. Help, son got slime on my car seat.

Haven't really tried to get it out for fear of making it worse. I plan to sell this car in the next few months, and any tried and true tips would be greatly appreciated. Now, how would you get this slime out, Cameron? I know you're the slime expert. You would lick it. Something that people don't know, saliva and slime mix quite well. Really?

Make a delicious substance. If you're seeing that this slime looks solid and cracked, the moisture from my tongue has got to loosen it up. I'll handle this. It loosens up many, many things. So you would go, Mr. Crab style on this. My tongue loosens up many, many things.

Really? Like what? A bottle cap. You can loosen a bottle cap with your tongue? A little bit. That's impressive. Show me. A really little bit.

Show me right now in the Gatorade. Did you get it open? A little bit. It did look like maybe a little bit. A little bit. Wow. Next slide. R slash confessions.

I let my friend poop in my car. Is this the same guy, man? From silly bands enthusiasts. We were in some really heavy traffic and she had to take a dump really, really bad. We had just come from out of a restaurant and she had... Okay, this is fine.

She had gotten to takeout box, so I joked that she could just go in there. A female friend? Yeah, you let females... Yeah, you got to let them poop in the woods like guys. So I joke that she could just go in the takeout box. She said she might try it if I had some toilet paper,

but she wasn't really serious because who keeps toilet paper in their car, right? Decided the check, and I had some anyways. And lo and behold, I had a roll in my console, and she ended up dumping the food, crouching on the floorboard, We definitely rode with the windows down until we could find a trash can, though. Imagine being the fucking sanitation worker who finds a takeout box a dew in it.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, the sanitation workers are required to open all the takeout containers in the trash. Yeah, well, yeah, they got to feed some of it. According to that call that peers. Yeah. They check to see if there's pooping. Yeah, they have to check. They check at their species.

Yeah. That is, again, because it's a girl, honestly, there's no problem with this. Okay. next slide she didn't even have to ask girls have it hard and you have to let them do stuff like that uh-huh so after this i think i went to oh no this is our slash car talk okay so now you know what it is yeah well this is watermelon juice in the backseat of my car foam cushion does anyone have a suggestion about how to extract some odiferous fermenting watermelon juice from the foam in the back seat of my car i've already vacuumed and sprayed bleach and i'm worried about fruit flies being attracted to the still slightly soggy foam how would you guys get this out Would you just say method as the slime? Okay, I would, but this idiot has gone ahead and sprayed bleach all over it. Oh, yeah. You don't want to lick that.

That's what people do in my apartment when they don't want me to lick stuff they leave around. Yeah. They'd be doing that on the remote control. I mean, they tried for a long time masking tape. Cameron, no. Doesn't work. I'm peeling the tape off. I can't read that.

I can't read tape. It turns out it's yumb spray. Yeah. You have some kind of like an anti-salotry gene. The only way they could figure out, send me to the hospital. I'm licking the nurses until you spray they started spraying bleach

on the nurses of the hospital so you won't lick them so you see a nurse come in and spray bleach on themselves yeah the nurse walks in they see it's you they walk out

they come back full hazmat suit covered in bleach they call me the tongue the tongue that's how you sign into the emergency room the tongue

Mr. Tongue well I already know why you're oh jeez the tongue is the tongue is back. Let me guess. You licked something again. But, yeah, if you already sprayed, sprayed bleach, can't really do much.

They can't really do much except for getting somebody who's younger who might not have a reaction to bleach to lick it up. Yes. Yeah. Because baby, you don't develop a... Bodies don't learn poison. No. Well, they do learn poison, actually. Until, until they get...

Yeah, until they get a little older. Like, the same way a kid's supposed to get chicken pox or eat dirt off the bottom of your shoe. so that they don't experience it when you're older. It's the same way you're supposed to feed your kid dirt off the bottom of your shoe. Just to make sure they get all the... Because that body needs to know that that's wrong. Yeah, exactly.

They need to know they don't like it. So you feed them dirt off your shoe early on. You're supposed to do that early so they don't have to do it when they're older. That is a thing that people do, though. They let their kids eat dirt so they don't like it. Off the bottom of your shoe, yeah. Well, yeah, off the bottom of your shoe. never did that?

No. I used to eat all sorts of disgusting crap as a kid. I saw my nephew dropped an apple on the ground and eat it at the dirt.

That's not crazy. I'd do that. I used to eat food off the ground until I saw a motherfucking osmosis Joan. Oh yeah.

I stopped hanging out with monkeys. Next slide. So then after this I went to uberpeople. This is a forum that I think we should go back to this is all

is a website that's all Uber drivers talking to each other. Oh, damn. And they had a lot of questions like X-Mis. The original cancel culture? It's true as fuck.

So long as I remember, X-Miss was a thing. Was this unknowingly the beginning of cancel or politically correct movement? Or Christ died on the cross, so it's actually a cross titled to represent a cross. It is getting rid of Christ. Yeah. The first time I saw X-Miss and I didn't understand it in my life was from Looney Tunes. Really? Really.

This must have been a newer loony. Yeah. Bugs Bunny. You don't open till X-Miss. He puts Elmer Fudd in a source. a swaddle. Was that the invention of X-Mus?

Was Bugs Bunny? I don't think so. But that's what that was my... I'm just remembering today is for me a day of remembering the first times I saw things. Yeah.

When's the first time you saw... Let's do it. When's the first time you saw... I don't want to ask anything. Was the first time you saw a jack-o-lantern? Do you remember? No. But I do remember

that when I was in middle school, I carved to jack a lantern with the outline of the pyro from TF2. That's dope. That's hard. It was really hard and it didn't look like it. I think I might have a picture on my laptop, but not on my phone. Okay.

Okay. So when it was the first time that you saw a tornado, like a drawing of a tornado? A drawing of a tornado? I remember being very interested in the tornado ability and Kirby in the Amazing Mirror, which I received in first grade. When was the first time you saw yourself in a mirror? A couple months ago. When did you see the Easter Bunny?

Don't think I've ever seen the Easter Bunny. Not even at the mall? Like a picture? Yeah. Of him? Yeah, not the real one. Oh, then I don't know. Because that would obviously be Easter Dummy.

Sorry. Well, I never saw him. I didn't even see him one time. You must have not believed. I wanted an egg hunt when I was a kid. Okay, big dick. Yeah. That's a kid?

Oh, just a big dick-ass thing to say. I went on an egg on a kid. I never did that shit. But Bugs Bunny perpetuates this. Yeah. That's true. This is another next question. Next slide.

This is a question from an Uber driver in 2015 who's from Uber ridiculous who said, does anyone else getting sick of the word Uber? It's in your damn name, boy. That's why I switched to Lyft. Oh, yeah. Is anyone else getting really excited about the word lift? This is why, yeah, I'm getting so sick of the words Uber and Lyft. That's why I switched apps and now I use icy gangster drive.

Wait. Is that icy gangster or I see gangsta? Damn. I see gangster. That's going to come up on the last slide. An icy gangster? Well, let's get, let's just burn through these so that we can get to the next segment. Next slide is a poem from Reback.

And they said, Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. That is a beautiful poem. That is amazing. And I'm glad to say Christmas and not X-Mas like bugs wants us to. Yeah, fucky bugs. And this next slide is from. Spider-Man. And he's verified.

He's a verified discussion starter. He's got a, he's got nine. Can you see the title of this one? Well, the title of this one is, I asked out a homeless girl this morning. The Uber driver asking out the homeless girl. Spider-in. And his name is Spider-Man. Never seen an attractive girl that was homeless before other than bruised older women.

And I pulled up and said, Hi, I have two questions for you. Okay. Do you think I'm attractive? yeah can you give me a reason why you wouldn't want to have a nice breakfast with me I'm sorry I have a boyfriend headshake and he allows you to ask for money here on the side of the road yeah we're a team he's doing his part on the other side of the road right now

I looked with pop eyes points Chris Hardwick points points it's this is some Chris Hardwick this is crazy game open with do you think I'm attractive so do you think I'm attractive? So do you think I'm attractive? Can you give me a reason why you wouldn't?

Yeah, homeless person. Do you think I'm attracted? Hey, do you think I'm attractive? Do you think I'm attracted? That's crazy. That's insane. She's saying yes, so he'll give her 50 cents. Do you think I'm attractive?

Yeah. That's insane. I looked with pop thighs, light turned, and I went on my way. Geez, doesn't matter where they are. I'm always getting turned down at a well, but I believe this girl. This does sound like that classic Peter Parker or Spider-Man luck. Yeah. Hope you enjoyed a funny story today. I did.

Thank you, Spider. The next slide, Dead Mile says to them, there was nothing funny about that story, Spider-Man, other than your pickup line. Do you think I'm attractive? Get the fuck out of here. Who goes with that on a first date to breakfast? I'll be there till 8.30 a.m.

And they attach this picture to which Deadpool, Uber-l-la-la, says, such a mesmerizing photo. Oh, this is a kitchen fun with my three sons. I like that page on Facebook. Really? Yeah. Whoa. Prove it.

None up or shut up. Show me that. I'll show you right now. And then this last person said in this one on this thread. I filmed a documentary on homeless some years ago. They make over $20 standing there. Yes, more than most Ubers. In real life, I'm an actor.

I also drive UberX and Lyft. Oh, you are. Wow. You've been following them forever. A long time. Yeah. They have a recipe for Alabama White So. The last two here.

somebody posted the narcissist self-test, Maria's Uber posted that, to which driverish said, this is the toughest test Everest. And then the final slide here, gangster driving. Stopped at a red light and noticed the driver next to me had his sit all the way back,

had a person in the front as well as the back, seat behind him was empty, but I couldn't see anyone being able to sit there or paying to sit there, even though the prices are low, looked at his phone, and Uber Nav was on. My initial reaction

was to laugh at him, L.O, yes. I was staring at him while laughing. I mean, what an idiot. I couldn't choose, I couldn't take a picture because I had people in my car.

Okay, yeah. I've definitely been a victim of the gangster seat back. The gangster seat, driving Uber, yeah. It's a huge problem on icy gangster drive. It is, dude.

And I've got to stop setting my home to that because it's about a two-hour walk from me. Yeah. But I still go there and I go, okay, I guess I'm getting in the gangster mobile.

is a car that's like big no no the small car yeah so vW rabbit oh my god and they're leaning back like that yeah the gangston this is not about the car it's about the position of the seat right I'm starting to feel the hours

the hours are wearing on the hours are I'm aging at a crazy right I think I'm gonna get another cup of coffee after I go pee and I'm gonna get some water yeah you go ahead and here I'll go yeah you have to help Joe and then I'm gonna get my water I think I actually stole your water bottle You stole my water. Let me check.

Okay. Well, I guess I'll hold it down. No, you're staying. I don't understand. Come on, man. I think... What? Oh, thank you.

So our clicker ended up actually just stopping working completely even besides recharging batteries. Here's a little preview of Joe. How do the news guys do this every day? I know. Well, at least for them, they got someone in their ear telling us what to say, telling them. I wish it was us. Oh, yeah.

I wish I was us. They repeat themselves? Yeah. We should just do that. They have commercials. Oh, they have commercials, though, so. Yeah. Okay.

Now you're going to keep Cameron company and I'm going to go. And then I'll have to go pee after you do this. We're going to do a full P. We're going to do a full kind of rotation, yeah. Okay. But we can keep talking. Let's do a, okay, and Julio's AFK too. So let's do a, let's do a hat topic.

All right. Sit here. Sit down, bro. Sit down, bro. Stop showing your pants off like that. All right. Let's see what we're going to have to talk about. while we wait for them.

I hope it's not the crazy one. Okay. Sports. Oh. Interesting. Did you see that the WNBA has allowed female players? Finally. They finally allowed female players.

I watched Wimbledon. I watched part of Wimbledon. I don't get tennis at all. It's the easiest sport to get in the world. I didn't think I got it. And I turned it on and I was instantly on the edge. of my seat like I was watching a dog fight I felt that invested I don't think I truly think that all sports are Reddit and that the true sports are the ones that no one talks about

like arts e-sports e-sports you're an sports fan aren't you catan dude and not the board game to the sports that chris katan is doing on stage I think the thing about tennis that they that the televised tennis that they I mean I've never seen a live tennis game I guess that every sport should adopt is a way that when they're during play the entire crowd is completely silent

yeah it's so funny it's such a funny thing to everybody like guys they're playing now quiet because they think that it's like it's just part of it break their conversation yeah I think so it's just like part of the culture of the sport you're just hitting a fucking ball you don't have to concentrate

I'd like to see you get on the tennis court, buddy. Oh, dude. Yeah, no chance. I would seriously change the whole game. No. You're talking, you're talking a disgusting game right now. They need quiet to concentrate. They are doing a hard job. I'd be the John Daly of tennis and I'd be fucking, or well, that was John McEnroe, wasn't it? He was like the guy that would be like, fuck you, motherfucker. But it's, but they do their grunts and you can hear them just go, oh, oh, yeah, that's what my, you can hear them run around. My neighbor's dad said that he was, he made a joke to my dad once about how he watches.

girls tennis so they can hear them grunt and then he also this one time he was getting like chased by the police yeah and uh we were all playing inside and then he came over and just started hanging out with us so that he looked like inconspicuous and we were just all like oh that's cool like a grown up is playing with a grown up is interested in a game that we're playing dude he's on the right track with with listening to girls grunt during tennis but that's why i wish tennis was one girl versus one guy so i could close my eyes while i was watching it and think i was watching pornography. Yeah.

Guy fucking a girl. That's what, well, he, my sister, my sister reminded me of that the other day that this guy like, came over and started hanging out with us.

Uh-huh. And he was like pretending like he was one of her dads that the cause would find out. That is crazy. Yeah. Forget his name.

You're going, you should put that through this way. The same guy, this one time, he, uh, yeah, you got to be wired

through over here. Under the, there, yeah. Okay, okay. Okay, so not, this is, I don't know why you're doing it. This is gonna fuck everything up somehow. The same guy, this one time, there was like a fire in the woods or something. Uh-huh. I forget exactly what it was, but I remember, yeah, yeah, there was like a fire reported and then, uh, he, like, left and then, like, came back and, uh, and, uh, I'm so distracted by them setting everything up that I can tell the story. He's going to have an incredible ending, please. I need to hear what happened. There's a fire reported. The fire department, the police are there.

He comes out of his house and they're like, yeah, there was like a fire. He's like, oh, that's crazy. I was just over there like a couple minutes ago. It's like so clear that he was like dropped this. He's set the fire? He's so clear that he's the one that started the fire. And as soon as he started saying that his wife was like, his wife knew.

that he set the fire? I think him saying, oh, I was just over there is like, oh, yeah, like you fucking... That's admissible as evidence. Yeah, they're gonna fucking take you in. You have the right to remain silent. There's a reason they say that.

It's because they're annoyed. Yeah. It's true. Can you imagine you're a cop you gotta listen to people all day? Please, please, please, please don't hear me. Please don't help me. Please don't destroy my life. Please don't destroy my life.

Starting your, starting like a screen. thing at a cop they're just they're just doing the thing where they uh save me you know what the thing cups do when they turn on the inner this loudspeaker on their car and they'll just be like they're like crossing the crosswalk oh you know when they did yeah i would that's when they do if they do that too and i would be like just stop leave me alone don't you tear don't destroy my life don't destroy my life yeah in the middle of the street like I wish tearing my shirt open was a bigger part of my lifespan

Dude, honestly, wearing button shirts makes it so much easier to tear your shirt off What are going on over there? I don't know what's happening. I want to go pee. Cameron needs to pee. Okay, well, then you have to tell another story. Okay.

To the camera. All right, I'll tell a story to the camera. Okay. Give me that box of Joe. How about that? You've got a guy of Joe over there. I already have the guy of Joe, though. You know this reminds me of, man?

What? Remember we smelled those damn DVDs? Yeah, this does feel like smelling the DVDs. It feels old school. Yeah. This feels kicking it old school. Yeah, you know, when the episodes weren't that good. Yeah, it feels like that.

Yeah, when the show wasn't amazing and... Well, you know, what is this? It's your cup, man. Okay. What's the cup for? I would know. Do we do this? You can, but don't.

Is that the buzzer? This must be so interesting for the fans to see because they've never seen us set up an episode before. Yeah, that's right. And I can't, we don't know what the chat is saying right now. They could all be saying like, fuck Joe. Fuck Joe, fuck Caleb. I mean, fuck me, I get.

But fuck Joe, man. Fuck every single one of them. All he did was give us some cups at this very point. Fuck every single one of them. That was our, that was because that was our four hour. Do you remember that? Oh my God. We've done this before. We've done this. We just

broke our record. We just finished our record. But here's the thing about that. Okay. That one, we were cowards. We split that up into four. That's true. Today, it's one episode. I want to stress that. I can't stress this enough that. You got to angle the camera down a little.

He's got it. He's a cameraman. Yeah. That's what I call him. He looks like, you know what he looks like right now? He looks like, you know, like the scene in the dark night where the guy is on the TV, the guy's on the TV and the Joker walks in. This may, it may seem like we're doing 12 episodes because we're splitting it up by hour. This is one episode, motherfucker. This is one. And no other podcast has ever done something like this.

I mean, I looked at out and the world record was really stupid because it was like, people. people taking shifts and shit. This is, I'm happy to say, if we do this today, this will be a world record. In terms of length of one episode. At the very least, it'll be a record for us. It's a massive record. It's a this office record. It's a record for our world.

All right, Joe, are you all set up? Okay, you have your microphone in front of you. Yeah, you probably have to hold your mic. That one is a tipster. Yeah, Joe, you got to hold that thing. I have to hold it. You have to put it really closer. You can do this, but just know that it will fall over.

really easily. Okay. If it falls over, I will I'll fix it. Okay, let's cut to the camera. Let's show the camera if we can, Julio. Camera four. Camera four. Let's see it. Camera four. And let's see that camera. Okay, and let's... Oh, the button, some bound. Give me a sec. Okay, that's fine. Let me see that bound button. Let's introduce what this is. This hour, we are doing... Where's the what? I have the box. Box hog No, actually

Box hog Actually you put it there If you want to run back the tape Oh well I don't know Let's run back the tape Well no Alright let's start Don't actually do that because I did it

Look there he is Hi Wow It's Mr. Gleason Look at that Joe Box everybody Joe and I got a box A Joe right here

Damn that's amazing Welcome to Joe box Okay Joe box So Joe We asked you Yes if I remember correctly We asked you to do Jackbox, as in Jackbox Party Pack.

Yes. Everyone's played it. Everybody's played. I mean, I've been millions of houses. Whether you've wanted to or whether you kind of don't really want to. And I'm going to be honest, usually I hate Jackbox. The only time I've ever liked Jackbox is when we played it in this office, I think. Yeah.

Can I tell you something, Joe? Yes. For that time that everyone put Brian's shirt down as an answer. That was funny. Can I tell Joe, can I come clean to you about something? Please. Oh, yeah. So the original plan for Joe Box.

was that we were going to prank you. Oh, no. And we were going to say we're going to print out the questions. We were going to print out crazy nasty things for you to read first to give you a kind of a funny prank. Can I tell you that the genuine joy and excitement in your preparation for this made me feel so disgustingly terrible that we canceled the prank and now it's a pure joke. Now it's purely just what you want it to be. It's your just we've thought. Your hour.

Yeah. I think that makes me feel worse than if you guys just pranked me. Just ripped the Band-Aid off, guys. Come on. No, it was too mean, man. Because you seemed like you really were excited to do it. You were very excited. And then that also got us excited to see what you were going to do.

You guys asked me to do a thing called Joe Box. Why wouldn't I be excited about it? Oh, man. It wouldn't have been a full prank. Yeah, it would have been about five minutes of prank. But we canceled the prank one. And then I prepped for an. hour.

Yeah. And we were like, all right, let the boy cook. Do his thing. Talk to us about what Joe Box is. Well,

I believe we have a slide show. Can we bling up this? Can we bling up the slide show? We can bling it? You might not be able to see it. You probably won't be able to. I can see it on the computer over here. Okay,

but we won't be able to see it. Oh, it's moved over here. It's moved over there. Yeah. I can just, oh, you can duplicate the slide.

Well, I can also kind of see the feed of you guys over here. Okay. So we can figure it out. All right. That's fine. Episode one. Well, that's ambitious, man.

Guys, I had some pretty big, I had some big dreams for Joe Box. Okay, I'm excited to see where it goes. And, you know, I'm just going to prove you guys wrong. What are you going to prove you to prove us wrong? We were excited. We are excited. Okay, well, Joe Box.

Premise of Joe Box is, it's kind of Jackbox style. Okay. But the questions I came up with. and, you know, the winner of it wins the prize that is inside the Joe box. Oh, my God. Okay. I've had a prop incorporated into it.

Wow. So the winner gets the Joe Box thing. Have you guys eaten yet? We're going to get some food after this one, I believe. Okay. Why? It has nothing to do with the prize. Okay.

And, you know, sort of a grab bag of different things. Sure. Different topics, different categories. We might as well flip to the next slide. Okay, let's see. Wow. My God. Animations in the...

And we can flip to the next slide. There we go. Congratulations, guys. Oh, wow. Look at these photos. Congratulations on 300 non-premium episodes. Thank you, bro. That's a milestone that everyone wants to hit.

These pictures are from... Where are these photos from? You get, yeah, explain. Tell us the story. I don't know if you guys are, if your, if your listeners are familiar with the, with the lore of the podcast, but it was Cameron and Caleb, the two C's had a podcast at their work. Awesome. They recorded it at work.

And then we went on a little trip to a lake. And Patrick was there. Yeah, you was. And in the midst of that trip. And what kind of trip? Oh, I plead the fifth. Because this podcast could only be conceived of by a certain type of trip.

And these... Much like Terrence McKenna and Baba Ram Dass. Exactly. Very trippy stuff. That was very much us. And after this lake trip, you guys were a trio. We were all of a sudden a trio.

We went on a psychological journey into each of his brains. I took a quarter tab of acid. and we watch Awesome Power. You can tell on this picture, I'm fucking tweaking. Yeah, you... It looks like we're on three very different drugs. I went crazy.

It looks like I'm, I'm on beer. Patrick maybe looks like he's on some kind of antidepressant. And then you, this is a full... I just came out of the basement. Yeah, that's a scary kind of crack. Another fun highlight with the Kayla picture is we're watching just like a VHS tape of golf. Yeah, the Jack Nicholas, um,

instructional tape. Pretty cool. And you guys can flip to the, you can flip to the next slide, and you can see the exact moment you guys came up with it. Really? Yeah.

Whoa. I've never seen, I think maybe we literally did. It was around this time. It was at the island. It was definitely on a walk, and we were like, man, passion,

maybe she should join this. You guys didn't ask me to a week later. But you did the... Shut up. You guys didn't ask me to a week later, but you guys said that I could run the social media

and then I did and then I did and I was I was running the Twitter for weeks for a week and then you're like yeah you're just you're just on the show now 30 followers and I got that shit up

you created a character oh Chris Lucero it's your first character Patrick ran the podcast account as a character yeah and you You can flip to the next slide and just see what was going on with me that day. Okay. So you saw some beautiful stuff.

Yeah, I kind of ran ahead of the pack and took some cool picks. It's like a wonderland. Wow. It was beautiful. Wait, is that a painting you saw? Yeah, so this was a museum that you stopped at? Yeah, you would think based on the composition of those two pictures. This is beautiful New Jersey.

Those are fresh off the eye phone. Oh, my God. These are from your eye. Yeah, they're from my eye. Oh, my God. But, you know, enough of this fun, you know. Yeah, enough of the fun. Enough of the fun.

Let's get fucking serious. Joe Box, let's go through some rules. Okay. Rule number one, there are three rounds. Okay. Best answer, you get next one. You get two beans. An okay answer.

You get one bean. Wait, can you show the beans? Can you hold them up to the camera? Coffee beans? Joe, how are you going to get the beans over here? We're going to... I'm going to give them to you. He'll give us the beans.

I guess the cups could have stayed on this side. Yeah, I think you, Joe, I think you should take the cup. cups back because they're it'll we'll give them the cups back here oh i thought that i had that oh you're you're ruining joe box i'm trying to make it better you did an attack and by the way can i say joe you're looking sharp joe you're you're amazing looking a full body thing i wouldn't know where in the pants if i yeah you can take them off right now man sure sure um okay i have the cups here, I'll just... You can clear off all...

This thing that you can do? This thing. The camera. He's a director. This thing. Wait, but which... And then the next... But it's CPC.

They have names written. I wrote the names. Okay. Come on. I wish we had a shot of this. This would be great. Okay. And then the next rule is

worst answer. You get no beans. Oh, okay. The winner, next is the person with the most beans at the end. Okay. I would think so. And then the next one,

I kind of didn't have enough time to do this. What was the idea for that? Some beans have special quality. What was the idea? On the rules, some beans have special qualities. I was thinking of having like a,

you know, I would do like a Sharpie marker and make some of them gold. Well, there's some beans over there. If you got a golden bean, that would have some power within the game after the fact. Oh, you could use it.

Yeah, I kind of realize that without playing Joe Box and seeing the way it goes. Right. You don't want to over design it. This is an emergent gameplay mechanic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Season 2, which is after a couple episodes. Yeah.

We're still on episode one. I'm happy to say that this will not be the last episode of Joe Box. Joe Box is going to be a fan favorite. And I hope you fans at home. Vote for Joe Box. Vote for Joe Box. Leave a comment below if you like Joe Box. You want to see it again.

And the criteria for Joe Box answers what I'm looking for, because we've all played the normal quiplash games, and it can get crass. It can get gross, frankly. We can just list these four. Accuracy, respect, hilarity, and don't get political. Oh, thank you for you. Okay. Yeah, I appreciate that.

Let's keep it nice. Let's keep it fun. Let's keep the energy up. Yes. Okay. Yeah. This is hour four, hour five. Hour five.

We're going into hour five. Let's not get upset about stuff. You're right. No fighting. So I think let's move on to round number one. Oh my gosh. I'm so excited. How do we answer?

Do we just say our answers? It's so I'm going to give you time. That's a good, I should have put that in the rules. I'll give you time to think. I'll give you about 10 to 15 seconds to think about it. And then I'm just going to go in a random order. So lock in your answers because I couldn't figure out a user interface to really. Sure.

That's fine. That's fine. You didn't have time to make a whole game. And we won't steal. Guys, I didn't have time to paint beans gold, so I didn't have time to make a computer game. Yeah, that's fair. The first round. I'm so excited.

Politics and culture grab bag. Oh, I love that. Saladana. Okay. Saladana. Question number one. So politics and culture. Wait, you said don't get political.

Well, I'm like, don't have, like, vitriol in your answers to this. Don't have a view. Don't have a view about politics. Politics can exist and not have an opinion. Well, if I said politics, there is a president of the United States. Yeah. So, Congress is a bicameral institution? I'm curious, is it okay if I have subtext?

Yeah, but more or more, more don't say like really bad. Don't get you crazy. Okay. All right. You know me, I won't. Yeah. I just keep it. And you know I'm going to say it right now.

You know I'm going to tow the line. Well, but I won't cross. I think another... You're not going to stop me from towing the line. A very important thing to consider is I am the one who is judging.

Sure. There will be no venom in my answer unless you're asking who's Spider-Man's villain and friend. And I'm saying, you know, this is the criteria

on which I judge. I'm not prohibiting you from being political. Okay. But just know that the thing I'm looking for. Yes. I see.

All right. I understand. Let's get it. Okay. Number one. Trump's fat pussy. you have no beans but that would be a dock that would be a dog you didn't put anything about docking

you got docking with Trump's fat dick no hey he laughed he laughed he laughed I think I get a bean I think I get a bean for hilarity okay I put a you're back at zero

that's what I'll say you got an extra bean okay first question Joe Biden went to the bodega what did he say oh my God I'll give you 10 seconds to think about it. So for the people who aren't in New York, a bodega is sort of a deli or a general

store, and they often have people who make sandwiches and things along those lines. And that is our time. Okay. Okay. We are going to start with Cameron. Hello, my wife. He thinks the store is his wife. Okay. That's political. What's political about that? I've said, Hey, guys, let me do the, let me do the, let me determine whether. Okay, Patrick, what did Joe Biden say at the bodega? Hey, Ack, let me get some unity in this country. Okay, I like that. That's way more political than what I said.

That's so political. But as the president, you want, that's purely political. That's crazy that what I said is considered political and that is not. Okay, Caleb. Hey there, I'd like a pack of menthol cigarettes. Oh, wait, I banned them. All right. Okay, first judgment call.

I'm going to say that Caleb, you get one bean. Yes! That's not even the best. Patrick. You got okay, answer. Patrick, you got two beans. Okay, so the, we're supposed to be political.

We're clearly supposed to be political. I don't want you to be ignorant of it. What I was really looking for was one of you guys to say, Ock. All right. Well, let's get the, I understand. I'm understanding it better now. This is episode warmer, so we're feeling it out.

That might as well be a trial round. Okay, we're feeling it out. I'll say it probably the weakest, probably the weakest prompt. That got me excited then because this one is fire. Yeah, this is fire. Oh, wow. All right, next one. Oh, wow.

Hawk to what now? What was this lady talking about? So, guys, five seconds. Five? It's speed round. It's actually not the speed run. Okay. It's a speed round.

Hock to what now? What was this lady talking? talking about. Caleb. Okay. What was this lady talking about? So, I mean, what's more hilarious than the original answer of what she said? She's talking about doing, I don't know if this would be

considered crass, but she's talking about, like, spitting on a guy's, like, big cock and using two hands and jacking it off like this in her mouth. Okay, cool. Good to know. Patrick. What is she talking? Chicago-style dog. Okay.

Spit on the dog? Is that one of the agree? You spit on the hawkine. Cameron, what is you talking about? Well, what she was trying to say, she said Hock Tua, but she meant to say, I want to talk to you. And she, because she saw the guy had a microphone and she wanted to be on the interview.

Talk to you. Spit like a rapper. Yeah. Spit in that thing. She didn't say anything about spit. No. Really? Oh, okay.

Guys, great round. I would say that was a great round. That's a great round. Yeah, that was a great round. That was a great round. That was a great round. Caleb, you again, one. bean. God, that feels bad. And Cameron, for the cleverest answer and the funniest, I want to

talk to you. Two beans. Wow. And guys, I'll say it, we are all tied up at two beans each. Oh, my God. Wow. You're such a fair judge. Now I'm going to start digging it, y'all. Yeah. Okay. Next round, remember, this is politics and culture. Okay. Okay. So this is feeling like maybe it's culture coming up. Yeah. The way he said that. Activating my culture brain. Okay, culture. Yes, I'm ready. Okay, I'm ready. Hit, hit us. The next round. The memorable closing line of your Oscar speech.

See, this one's really down the middle kind of jackbox style. Uh-huh. And Patrick, what's the closing line of your Oscar speech? And remember, acting is just something that you do when you're bored. Yeah, all right. Great. Caleb I'd like to thank God

if he existed and I'd like to thank my mom if she existed got it kind of a Ricky Jervais atheist and Cameron close it out I'd probably say something along the lines of like

I'm glad I have this little gold guy I like a little guy like this why are we so good at Jack now that's amazing at this no that's final answer okay gold guy God and God and mom and God and Mom.

Okay. I'm going to give Cameron one. Okay. Yeah, that's fair. That one was, I'll admit it. I'm going to give Caleb two, if I'm being honest. Wow. Wow.

Patrick, I kind of didn't know what you were going for there. It wasn't realistic. No. And now you have to call me Bean Boy. And see another thing that we're trying to, my God. Another kind of gameplay thing that we're trying to iron out is I'm not sure if going first. And also I can see Cameron and I can see Caleb and I cannot see Patrick.

I might have to There we go Say your stuff That might help But I think going first Is either a great advantage Or a great disadvantage I think it's a disadvantage

As you have less time to think Yeah going third is definitely the prime That's the sweet spot Let's move on to the next one Okay Besides getting peed on What is the most erotic kink Besides getting peed on

What is the most erotic kink? I got my lot. Caleb, go for it first. Getting shit on. All right. Cress. Cress. Sorry, getting poopied on.

Cameron. I guess like getting static electricity up on the leg, getting the hairs to stand up, and then licking them up and it makes your tongue sizzle. Cizzle? Cool. We call that sizzling. And Patrick, what is the most erotic kink? For me, the most erotic thing?

is falling in love. That's beautiful. Okay. Wow. See, this has been a pretty easy. This is a pretty easy round. Really? Cameron, one bean.

Okay. Patrick, two beans. Two beans. That was sweet. That was really nice. That was positive. Yeah. That was positive.

And mine was real. So, you know, I'm not always going for the most outlandish things. Or the most gross. I would say that I had the grossest one by far. Yeah. That's why you didn't get rewarded. It was nasty. You said shit and then pooped on.

Well, I said poopie. Poopy. Pooey. Getting shitted and poopied on. That's so erotic Not erotic to me Next round Next round

No no no Okay Something that would stump Trump In a debate Let me go first I'm ready A bullet Well

That is Patrick just take it If a green alien flew in the sky And Flew over the crowd Okay Got it

Caleb Um What would stump Donald Trump in a debate? A tree. Repeating the question. Okay. So, actually, Patrick, that was great. And what we're now going to do is you just want to answer it first.

You answer it first and then you just keep going in order. Can we raise hands like it's a buzzer? I can't see you guys that well. But you can see the hand. Patrick raised your hand. I can see I can barely see that. Let's just keep doing it how it is. Okay, Patrick, that's two for you.

But you can ask to go first if you want to go first if you're ready. Yeah. And Caleb, that's one for you. I didn't get anything. No, see, that was a little too. I tried to tow the line. I told you I was going to tow the line. You put your whole foot over the line.

And see, is on your toe. See, you know, it's just, it's, I would say that's very crass. All right, let's get the next one. That's not crass. Okay, let's get back to a culture one. Let's get back to a culture.

It's a bird. It's a plane. I know this one. It's so fucking obvious. Call on me. All right, go for it. Superman. Okay.

Are you think I'm stupid? It's a good answer. Who's next? It's the green alien that just flew over Donald Trump's debate. Oh, wow. Nice. It's a bird. It's a plan.

No, it's my stupid white ass. Um, um, I'm gonna go, they should make people playing Jeopardy do four hours of taping Jeopardy and only release the fifth hour of it. Um, that's two for Caleb.

That's one for Pats. What? Yes. Well, yours was not. That was a cheap callback. See, that's why it wasn't number one, if I'm being honest. Yours was literally a callback to the Superman show. Yeah, yours is literally a reference.

I would maybe, if there wasn't a picture of Superman there, I would maybe have given it to you, but it just kind of felt like you just looked at a picture and said. It's a question. I'm answering. I will say you made it, you put that in his head with that picture of Superman. Okay, let's go to the next round. What else am I supposed to say? Joe Box. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, Joe. Box. after the Trump assassination attempt Secret Service director Kimberly Cheatel resigned what are your guys' thoughts on that this is what no this is good yeah yeah this is good

this is good whoever's ready first I mean I just I for me it's like I look at that name and first of all I'm thinking okay cheat yeah she certainly must have to cause this to happen she probably cheated yeah and I'm also thinking Cheeto my and I think that she

went home to her husband Don the actor and said yeah and said wait if you're done then who the hell

was I protecting that's good all right Caleb close us out I saw the you know I saw the video of her

doing the doing the thing to Congress and yeah I would say Kim looked pretty burly she could stand to lose

can I say also kill burly cheat you can't You can't do another answer. I would like to have points for that. That's fine.

I'm not, I'm already, I know, listen, I already know I'm not getting points for my answer, so I wanted to add a little more. Well,

I know how Joe Box rolls and he was, can you tell me right now, you weren't going to give me points, right? I think I'm, Cameron, I think you're getting a bean. Cameron,

if I'm being completely honest, you're getting two. Oh my God. Because you both did, um, you did cheat and you also, what was the second? Cheeto?

Cheeto, Cheeto, Cheeto, two clever puns on the name. But that's political. I thought I was going to zero points. Guys, forget the political thing. Okay. Okay.

Let's forget the politics. Okay. And Patrick, you get... I'll behave next round. You get one for that, Pat. I was bucking. Yeah, I'm kind of forgetting what the things were. But those were funny.

Because Don Cheetle. Don Cheatle. That was also... That was... Why don't we all get beans for this one? You know what? I combined politics and culture with that answer. You did.

Oh, shit. Why don't we all get beans for this? He just gives him a bonus bean. I'll give him a bonus bean. for that. For saying that, that was very smart. Okay, next round, and this is a speed round. Okay, I got a lot. Okay. All right. I got a lot. Hey, Apple. Hey, Orange.

Put the headphone jack back in. What the heck is even going on in this country anymore? My. Politics and culture. God. That one wins, actually. That one wins. You can't just retread on that same thing. I'm going to, for speed, I'm going to give Caleb. to...

I thought I was talking to him. That's why I said, hey, orange. Cameron, I'm going to give you one because Patrick kind of tried to cheat the system there a little bit. He tried to cheatle. Hey, bean for you. We were looking for... Put a bean in your mouth, man.

You have so many beads. You must be so good at this game. I answered all these questions on my own. I was looking for knife. If I'm being completely honest. So this is one where you're looking. so the Superman answer should have gotten two beans you've just shown. Yeah.

Well, see, that's a little bit of an obscure reference. I think Cameron should get two beans for his answer. Hey, Patrick, let's not try to hop on my shit, okay? Yeah, we literally, this is Joe Buck. Okay, next round. I guess I'm going to jail. A new law was just passed that legalizes being fake. I would say, I would say I probably wrote this wrong.

I would say, I guess I'm not going to jail. Illegalize. They're outlaws. It outlaws. That outlaws. Okay. My answer is being paper. Okay.

Okay. Because for the audio list, it's a picture of the bill from. I'm just a bill. I got one. Loving Joe Bucks. Yo. And thinking it's fun. Not thinking it sucks?

I just, I guess I'm going to jail. I just. A nude law was just passed that legalizes that outlaws, that outlaws, loving. Okay, I'm going to give Caleb two. I'm going to give Cameron one. Patrick, that felt like stalling tactics if I'm being completely honest. It was.

And it seems like you just got the first word of a. My answer. Loving. Loving. Loving. If you pulled out loving. Loving paper is a really good. If, okay, if you combined all our answers, that would have been the best answer.

I knew I was just passed that. Loving paper. Guess I'm going to jail. If loving paper is a cry, that lock me up. All right, next round. This is the final one. For politics and culture. What did you just do?

I, like, hurt my back. The strenuous game. All right, goodbye, Mr. is the last one in politics and culture grab bag. Okay. Goodbye, Mr. Majors. Marvel just recast Kang with... Joe Gleason.

Whoa. Michael, Sarah. All right. You can't say your own name. You know what, guys? I'm going to be real, and I'm going to tell you, I can't think of anything. My answer is going to be nobody.

Oh. you can't think of a single actor nobody wow I stand by that Bob Odenkirk nobody and I'm going to go to the bathroom I'm going to give between rounds I'm going to give Patrick 2 for that I'm going to give Cameron 1

wait nobody beat mine what you say it's not an honest it's not honest maybe it's not honest in what world would I be cast as king I didn't say Joe Gleason he did

he said Joe I said Michael Sarah not being able to see you guys is hurting this so do I get his beans yeah I get your you get his beans thank God dude

that was so amazing okay so you guys can also lie to me and that would probably go a long way in this game no we have each other to check on each other so while we wait for

for Cameron to go pee tell me a little bit about what it was like putting together this game what was the process Okay, the process is putting this together. I looked up a lot of questions from Jackbox. Cameron's on the screen. Wait, how'd you get in the TV, Cam? I put a lot of Karen. What is it? Don't tell me. I don't want to know what the price. I don't want to know what you do.

It's hard to see what it is actually, so. It's a box. It's a box with something in it. I tried to look up what was what's it called. You know, I was kind of thinking that maybe the politics and culture section was a little too long. But I think it's okay. You're fine. You're fine. I think we're in a good spot. I'm ready for the next round. We're in a really good spot. I'm sick of this politics crap, though. What's the next category?

I was kind of grasping at straws to find enough political stuff without getting too political, which is a line I tell every day. Yes. I've been laughing at Strongs. Strong answers. Me and my friends. This is round two officially. So I'm not going to speed count these beans, but it looks

like Caleb and Patrick are maybe like a couple beans ahead of Cameron. Yeah, I know. I've been in trouble. But Cameron, I do think that speed round is going to favor you. Okay. For some reason.

Speed round. Lightning fast. So this one, you're spitting it out. Blurt it. I want, being fast is a win in this one. Not just being the first one. It's fast and,

and wit. You have to talk fast? You want to be the first one to answer. Okay, no, we heard you loud and clear. We're going to talk about. Okay. First one. make me laugh

with one side. I fucking already in my dick off. I just, I just saw Cameron's penis in the back. That was slow, man. I just like cameras that was fast.

Let's do that again because I was not talking about speed and talking. I was not talking about speed talking. I was talking about getting it quickly. So now it's literally the slowest round.

Okay. So just, I'm saying spit out your answer quickly. Oh, just so. Joe Box is my favorite game Oh wait, it's supposed to make you laugh Joe Box is my favorite game and I just fucking farted out

A big black turd The set is peeling That is true The scent is appealing Oh The scent is appealing, that gets to Patrick, I'm going to give you one I'm a catch up

Because you said that. But you know what? The problem is, the problem is now I'm too happy. Oh, I think I know what the next one is. Make me sad. Your parents just both crashed into each other. You have your entire family had a party without you. I saw a kid who just saw a dog die.

All right. I'm going to give Cameron 2 again. I'm going to give Patrick 1 because, you know what? I don't need to be at that party. I'm not really fast. All right, next one. I'm more of a slow thinker. Now I'm down in the dumps.

Make me happy. There's a Giants parade. It's just for you. Giants parade. You just became the hero of a fairy tale. And there's going to be a new movie called Joe and the Giant Peach. Okay, he stole Giant from me. And he stole fairy tale from me.

There's going to be a new movie called Joe and the Giant Peach. And it's going to start. Joe but that's okay because I stole fairy tale Gle and Dun Cheatle

John Cheatle I'm going to give Caleb 2 for the giant parade yes I'm going to give Cameron 1 for the fairy tale

okay next round it was stealing I kind of fell in love with the character from being quite honest oh

that is sprinkle ooh oh man who JB J.B JB JB

Rimas Um Patrick that is Patrick that round you exemplified what Speed Round

is all about you spat out Sprinkle and Sprinkle is also the best name for him it's a video listeners

it's an emoji with a thumb and Cameron I'm going to give you one for J.B. J.B. That was cool. Remus.

Remus is from Remus Lupin from Harry Potter and the prisoner He really does not look like a Remus at all. You don't know

we know different people you know a remus who looks like that I know a remus who looks like that I know guys who look like I know emoji guy type guys

I know a guy that looks exactly like this. My whole town's filled with fucking guys. I know a guy like this was not named Riemies and named Cornelius. See, J.B. J. J.B. endless, endless names, you know. Jugglebear. What was for Joe Box? What did you say? Juggle bear. Jolly Balloon. He is a balloon. I should have called him yellow. Joyous boy. But from this point forward. Yeah, but he is Sprinkle. Okay. Um, next round. What do you say to Sprinkle? Do you want to go to this fair? Put that thumb down, Sprinkle. I'm a shoot.

you sprinkle where's your other hand g all right two for pat uh Caleb you get one yes pity bean let's not let's not wish harm upon sprinkle yeah that's wrong all right next one hey sprinkle i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i'm not saying anything because right now i'm kissing him oh camera that's a bean the thinker all right let's go to the next one sprinkle don't spin you're gonna get sick you just need so much food Okay, Patrick, that's another bean for you. Let's go to the next one. Wait, what the hell this is?

Sprinkles, stop spinning. You're just going to get sick again because I gave you so much candy. I guess sprinkled so much candy. Okay. Stop spanking. I like sprinking. I'm going to give Cameron one. Because Patrick, you kind of gave me the same thing again.

Well, he spun again. It was the same thing. Let's do another one. Okay. Sprinkle, you're getting so big. Growing sprinkle. I'm going to give that. I just like your energy to sprinkle pad, if I'm being completely honest.

Let's do one more. Sprinkle. Oh my God. You tumbled, Sprinkle. You tumbled, Sprinkle. I'm going to be completely honest. Patrick, you have been cleaning up on the sprinkle rounds. That was another sprinkle rounds.

I invented Sprinkle. I invented Sprinkle. He invented Sprinkle. And if I'm being, look at Sprinkle. He's just a. Or let's get, come on. Come on. He's going like this.

Go. You're just giving free points to. Caleb gets a bean for sure. Just became sprinkled. Wait, wait, wait. Can we get a side-by-side on sprinkling, Caleb? I don't think so easily. No.

But we can get them really fast. Yeah, all right. That's sprinkle. All right. Now it's the best round, if I'm being completely honest. The best round. Then it'll probably be nine. Finally.

Advantage, Caleb. We venture into the personal. Oh, my God. Uh-oh. This is not good. So with personal, this is really where Joe Box takes form. Okay. It's taking form.

We are not We are no longer talking about politics We're no longer talking about culture Thank God This is a no holds barred round Were we all roommates at some point With each other? No, no

You weren't roommates with Cameron ever I never lived with Cameron I never lived with Caleb You lived with me, you bastard Oh, I did In L.A. My fucking piece of shit Dirt with anybody

We didn't live in Like it doesn't Yeah, we were only 15 feet From each other We were far from each other You were in the room Farthest from me So I didn't even live with you

Because I was in the farthest room I would have picked a closer room then if I knew this is how you feel. You should have, you probably should have. I definitely should have fixed a closer room.

You definitely wanted it. So personal, sort of a no holds barred. Everything and anything goes. Thank God it's finally no holds barred. We can get political. I thought I said that it was done with politics. Fuck yeah.

We getting crass too? I'm saying you can kind of go for it. Yeah. Stick my dick up in that. All three of these guys. Okay. round as you and me i want to fuck them so remember this is take some with patrick's example on the sprinkle rounds yeah energy quickness i'm going to take patrick's example i know exactly what i'm

going to say for all of these okay um and don't repeat oh oh hey there hello hi what's up oh yeah we will definitely All right. Yeah, sorry. There's the first time we've been in here in a while, and we're live right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, thank you. Landlord.

What did he say? We have to clean the street. We've got to sweep the sidewalk. Got to sweep the sidewalk or else we'll get a sanitation fine. He gets a bean. And he said he's happy to pass the sanitation fine on to us. What an awful thing to say. Yeah, he's really rude.

He's really rude, but that's what they're supposed to be. Yeah. I think he's basically gone. Can we give a reverse bean to our landlord? He gets one. He gets negative one. And also for interrupting Joe Box. Yeah.

Yeah, that's not cool. To not look at, clearly we're in the stew. It's clearly a Joe Box. Everyone knows it's Joe Box. Yeah. He probably opened up the YouTube and saw Joe Box was on and drove over. Yeah, let me go interrupt Joe Box real quick. He just wanted to be famous.

He did interrupt. Okay, personal round. Yeah, so. Here's a personal thing. thing I want to say. Mess with my flow, man. Sorry. What's his name?

We don't know. I should say. I just genuinely forgot. All right. It's the personal round. First question. A stray dog in the neighborhood has been terrorizing Patrick all month.

His dick funk? What does he want? Jerky. It wants his cat. His cat. Jerky. His dick funk. His dick funk.

What the F is diff? You guys have never had a dog sniff at your crotch. Of course I have. And see, this is another example of just what I'm looking for in this round. His cat, that gets one. I'm the one, man.

Because it's real, it's personal. I want you guys to get real, I was thinking like he literally has a cat. And Patrick, jerky, that felt real. That felt like something you might walk around. What is not real about Patrick's dick funk? You think his dick don't smell.

I know, but is a dog going to attach him? It smells. Now, you don't need to smell it. I smell it from here. Don't wave it up. I can't smell it through the jeans. The jeans are too powerful. The jeans are based on the first genes.

Yeah. All I smell is gene. We already heard that about this first. All right, we get it. I suck. I lose. Go to the next one. Next one.

It's Cameron's wedding. Do I hear wedding bells? No. Those are. Chetting balls. Electric guitars playing fast-ass metal. The sounds of happiness. I'm giving sounds of happiness one.

I'm getting metal. Yippee! Woo-hoo! All right. I do the sounds of happiness. Okay. Actually, I changed my mind. Metal guitars get one.

The wee woohoo. See, that's really what I want. I want the actual sounds. Okay. So wait, yeah. Let's get it. And what's your noise? So that's what you want to hear.

You want to hear. No, those are. That's me whistling at camera because you look so sharp in a suit. Okay. Next one. No being for that. I whistled three times. Caleb's going to be late to the meeting today.

What's his excuse this time? He had a diarrhea attack this morning because he ate undercooked food that he reheated. My dog has to go around somewhere. Had to eat dinner at 2 p.m. I'm giving 2 p.m. 2 beans. I'm giving dog has to go out, one bean. He eats undercooked food all the time. See, that was maybe the best round we've had.

You guys got personal. Well, Caleb was affected by it. I was affected. Yeah. I was affected between the landlord Caleb tried to give a softball with his walking his dog Oh man the dog

It's a dog's fall He couldn't handle dinner at 2 p.m. I don't eat dinner at 2 p.m. Oh no I ate it at 4.30. Okay, let's see the next slide. Which is maybe why he's getting sick when he's reheating it

because he's been in the fridge for so damn long. Been in there. Fridge can't make you sick. The fridge can't make you sick. Next question. Podcast about lists very appropriate first ad sponsor Bluechoo

dot business slash penis Apple podcasts I said Apple first Oh okay Spotify podcasts I'm gonna give Bluetooth penis

I'm gonna give that two Excuse me What did you say What kind of show do you think we've run around here What'd you say Cameron? Spotify podcast Tina See when I've listened to the podcast It has been on Spotify

It has not been on Apple Sorry it's almost as if Apple isn't one of the biggest companies. Did you say Apple podcast? I just said Apple. Oh, okay. I couldn't hear what you said because of what he was saying. I think maybe he subconsciously went into Apple. What's our landlord's name? I've answered Apple. I've answered Apple twice. The beans have been decided, all right? Okay. Okay. That's fine. I'm happy with myself. Very appropriate first ad sponsor. Next one. I love my body.

Potabout List's very inappropriate first bad monster. The battery monster. The extremely sweaty The camera battery monster I guess like some type of alien that comes in and abducts Patrick and probes him That's pretty inappropriate The landlord whose name I won't say See I was going to say that

I thought that was too free But I know what to say it now And honestly Will you guys repeat your answers Yeah an alien that molest Patrick The battery monster because we had a battery logo On the screen for a long time I think I said the extremely sweaty

Okay what's more inappropriate than molestation is all i want to say your decision will say how you feel about that Cameron you get two thank you Patrick you get one Caleb that's nothing yeah I'm just saying words really slow because I couldn't pick up two more words um all right one more personal question sitting in a room for five hours is hitting right now it is hitting majorly oh we already we already know that rebrand what's okay let's all say it together

Ready? One, two, three. Bolon tea. What is it? Bolong tea. Bolong tea. Bolong tea. That's what Patrick this morning said. So go ahead and puzzle that out because we all answer together.

Patrick said this morning. But we're revolting against Joe Box. What can you do when we all answer the same thing at the same time? We said that we're going to rebrand and we're going to call the podcast now Bolong tea. Pat said that after 300 we should rename it to being called Bolong tea. And that was a name I just typed on the keyboard. I don't think so. I just kept typing until I found a word.

You guys each get one bean. Okay. Bollong tea. I'm happy with that. Bollong tea. So if you, there's some, there's some game theory going on right now. If you guys just repeat the same ones, you can kind of lock in your score. Yeah, but I don't want, I think that's probably one of the only ones.

I think it's a dead heat. I think it's a dead heat. I think it's anybody's game right now. Really? I think it could be. Why do I feel like Joe's going to win somehow? Joe's going to win? Okay, the next, the next one. He didn't understand.

He got excited. Joe's going to win? He heard that he's going to win and got excited. This little boy heard he was going to win. A video you see on Facebook reeks. You're in your suit? He's going to win his own box. The next question.

This little boy won his own box. Sprinkle, how are you doing? I just haven't seen you in so long. Hey, Sprink. That's two beans for Patrick. That's one bean for camera. Caleb, get air on the spring. I said Sprinkle.

You can't hear you. No energy. No energy. guys just wait till you have to count the beans we have to count our own beans he's not a counter he's a host I'm the host and I'm doing a fine job of it you're doing an amazing job

next one oh crap Patrick's gone viral on X what is the tweet hey everybody this is my go fund me because my dad is dying.

All right, that's rough. See, I'm trying... In this one, I want you guys to... A real Patrick one? Yeah, it would probably be something like, sorry, guys, I accidentally did the Trump assassination because I was teaching my son to drive.

Yes. All right. Front shots from a Skexas hit different. From a what? The Skexas. From the dark crystal. And I said that... And you're sticking with a go-fund me?

Sorry, my father is passing away and I need a bunch of people to donate. Please retweet if you can spread awareness. Yeah. I have a show at the Windjammer tomorrow. I have a show at the Windjammer. Please donate to my Goof on me. See, Pat, I kind of wanted you to play into the Patrick thing.

Just what's at the top of your drafts right now, Pat? I told you. In case my dad. You got it loaded up. I'm giving Sun to Drive. That's very down the down-the-middle Pat tweet. It's topical. Pat's going to jump on a topical issue.

That's true. He's Mr. News, I heard. That's what I said. You know that I learned about the Trump assassination attempt and the Joe Biden resignation, both from Patrick via group text message? I believe that. Patrick.

Mr. News. I'd say he's Mr. News. He's also kind of Mr. Phone, if we're being quite honest. He got that thing on him, man. Okay, so that's an attack. Yeah, that's kind of rude. That's a host attack.

What's that about? But I only say that from a place of love. Caleb, you've been Mr. Phone at points in your life. You're Mr. suit. I'm concerned. Yeah, you're Joe.

Well, Mr. Box. Jinks. Mr. Box. You always got a big box. What? Mr. Box?

Cameron, see, I've never seen, I've never seen you be a complete Mr. Phone. I'm a pretty big Mr. phone. Well, you guys are all Mr. I'm Mr. Phone at home.

Mr. You're Mr. E.T. You know how E.T. He says that. Yeah. He does it. No, Wayne says that. Okay.

Let's go to the next one. I think you guys might see where I'm, the little theme I'm going with. Wow. Cameron's last post on X is blowing up. What did he write again? I have found a secret dark past of this world. Everyone got that one gnome uncle who fucks you.

All right, Cameron, do you risk? It would probably be a quote tweet of somebody else posting some, a video that they worked hard on. And so, oh, M.G. Yes, smile. Nothing else. actually wait blowing up nah no that's not blowing up I failed

okay I'm gonna give it's blowing up when I post a screenshot something I found out Facebook Caleb that's two for you what did Caleb say this world has a very I uncovered this world's dark that's

that is so cam that is me I can't lie and now let's go one more okay what's this one going to be. I think it's a Jubio. No way. Caleb is putting on an ex post masterclass. Well, I got a different prompt. What did you say this time? My wife just caught me in the bathroom fingering my poop. Like what else am I going to do in there? That's good. I'm going to send that

a bitch. Like bitch, what else am I going to do on there? Okay. My bitch wife tried to leave the house to vote. Don't you know you just a blowjob machine? back to the store for me that's how I tweet these days it's interesting you guys have really tanked all of your own personal it's hard man it's hard to be your own yourself because it's hard to spit fire I got one for Joe

what Jimmy Fallon let's save it oh Cameron that's two for you Pat that's one for you a fun little mini challenge would be you guys put out the tweets that won yeah no

what one you don't want to put out I don't fucking doing that I mean I don't remember though something got a dark energy I've uncovered a very dark pass to this world I'll tweet that right now it's gonna blow up

that was gonna blow up um I'm not gonna do right now because it's gonna cripple my next round that's true this is a trick yeah okay next round believe it or not Joe has gone completely viral too

what did Joe X blast I know what it is it has no body text it has little gray text that says Joe retweeted and then it's a home planet thing that says interview with the weirdo I got me

what begins the elf just at the crib chilling with sprinkle oh man I wish I'd done that I just got some new Joe Jeans, I invented a new type of jeans called Joe Jeans. Just drove my Joe car to the Joe building.

Time to go in and do my Joe job on the Joe computer. I love being Joe. Just ain't Joe lunch. I'm at the Joe party right now singing my Joe's. I'm at the Joe party right now with all the Joe. I'm at the Joe party singing Carrie Jokey. We turn it up Joe style. I'm Joe drunk tonight.

Let's do another round. we let the Joe talk. Let's do another round. Tonight we let the Joe in a bottle. Tonight the Joe is talking. Let's do another round. Okay. Of the same one.

No, no, no, go back. What is it? Oh, I just drove my Joe car to my Joe job. Yeah, that's what he said. Oh, he's writing these down. I think I know where to. I just drove my Joe car to my Joe job. My new Joe job is that.

I invented Joe jeans And I got And I'm chilling with Sprinkle Me and Sprinkle We're in Sprinkle wearing Joe jeans This night about to be a juvie A jovie A jovie

And we sing in Carrie Jokey And we sing in Carrie Jokey So what we are Joe What was that last one about Jubey? Tonight Me and Sprinkle wearing Joe jeans Tonight

We had Sprinkle wearing Joe jeans It's about to be a Jovey It's about to be a jovie a jovie a jovie yeah uh movie but jove uh huh oh all right we'll see guys but joe we'll see which ones does the best yeah okay um you guys each get a point i appreciate you guys helping me out with that yeah no problem anything um okay we have one final question amazing oh my god the last question i like that font too philip k dick vibes uh that was i just I just looked up the last question on Google and I pulled it.

The last question. Oh, wait, that isn't Isaac Asimov book, isn't it? It is, yeah. That's where I got it from. It's not a book. That's a story. Yeah, my assam off these questions. Guys, get ready for the last question.

I'm not ready. I'm ready. I ask them off these questions. Yeah, and I touch my sack. And my ass as well. My eye got a sack. I got a stye. I'm actually listening.

Yeah, I'm in. I'm locked in. I'm actually listening instead of doing you. Joe, look at my face. I should have been sitting. Sorry, we, I made an ass of myself, awesome of self. I've made an ass of myself. All right, that's a point.

I haven't read a book, but I'd think that's a funny joke. I've read a book? In a long time, yeah. I've never read a book, but I think that's a funny joke. I'm pretty sure. Okay. All right, all right, all right, all right. Let's go to the next one.

Sprinkle. Oh, fuck, I wasn't looking. It's Sprinkle, and I'm here to tell you everything that's ever happened in the world. That's two for Pat. That's one for Cameron. We have one more actual question, though. That was just a... Okay.

That was a reaction test. Honestly, if I'm being completely... Let's leave Sprinkle up for a second. If I'm being completely honest, I did not anticipate Sprinkle. You didn't put them in the slides? That's scary. Boy. Whoa.

I didn't anticipate Sprinkle becoming a question into himself. Uh-huh. And I'm very excited about it. Maybe it was about 11.30 last night. You were like... If I'm being, if a full openness, I looked up happy on Google. Oh, wow. And I looked at images and Sprinkle was one of the first things.

And I was like, oh, well, that's funny. I've never seen a face look like that. Yeah. So you were just expecting us to just be happy at this? Yeah. Okay. What just happened over there? I'm looking at Sprinkle, if I'm being honest.

Nutted looking at Sprinkle. And Sprinkles's a kid. Let's get the last question, man. Sprinkles, Sprinkles like 30. Okay. Let's see the next question. Sprinco is kind of like 300, if we're being honest. Yeah, he's everywhere and everything.

Appropriate. Episode 300. For the app. The final question. The real reason. We're three beans. Sorry. Six is afraid of seven.

And only one person gets this. I'm going to give you plenty of time to think about it. Okay. And I shouldn't count these while you guys think of it. Drewbio, come out to play. You get three beans if you answer this with the funniest. Okay. stuff.

It's just a down-the-middle jackbox question. I would be surprised if this wasn't in a jack-box pack. I bet it is. Should I answer it like it's a jack-box question? I want you guys to... I'll answer it like it's a jack-ball. Think of the... This is the last game.

This is the last question of the final round. Of episode one. Yeah. Of episode one of Joe Box. Okay. that Joe Box has meant everything that Joe Box has answered all the wins, all the losses

and put it into why is the real reason six is afraid of seven when you guys are ready you can go for it because 7, 8, 9 with a 5 of 4 slaw all right, he's winning

wrap it up with three bequeue sauce 3B2 sauce oh my God it's over man and you just won at 1 p.m. Oh, I brought it home. Yeah, that's pretty good.

Tell me if I won. I'm going to go in a different direction. I'm going to say 7. 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8, 9 tenths of 11 pieces of spaghetti.

petty piece well I don't want to steal his thing where you see when you're saying a different direction I didn't think you just meant like the same direction okay so jackbox okay so if I'm playing jackbox I would literally say seven has fucking AIDS and I would win so I'm gonna go with seven has AIDS all right

well this isn't jackbox it's Joe box well he's and for that reason I'd like to submit my answer yeah to be I love you Joe box I love you Joe box I respect you Joe box I love Joe box I love Joe box and booty hairs just get the to get a little jackbox in the end.

Yeah, I would like to add booty hairs to mine too. And booty hairs. Okay. And booty hair. I like booty hair. And I like booty hair. If we're going, see, okay. I think there's an obvious winner.

I think that. I think if we're going just based off of proper creativity and also, you know, I think the actions are so important. Patrick. The mic drop of leaving is pretty. The mic drop of going and I can hear him peeing into the toilet. That's not pee. Oh, shit?

Yeah. Oh, even cooler, honestly. If someone answers The nastiest diarrhea Instantly after If someone says something very clever and funny And then immediately goes to the toilet And like loudly shits into it

If someone says something that the whole crowd Is incredibly happy that they said that Good night And then you hear This copy's making me have to pee so bad repeatedly Patrick Pat you got your you won man Well you won the three beans

I think you definitely won the whole game. If we took out, if we took out sprinkle points, sprinkle points are going to be your friend in this game. Yeah, I didn't get quite enough sprinkle points. Okay, and before, so that's the end of the rounds of Joe Box. Wow. We do not have a winner yet. No.

We need to count our beans. Let's count our beans. Should have been counting them as we go. Did you guys like Joe Box? Everybody liked it, I'm sure. Were we fans of Joe Box? Here, we'll pull up the chat real quick just to see if people like...

Did we think that... Joe, let's... Oh, you can't hear it. But this is what we think of it. Booty still winning. He said booty hairs. Joe Box. I wish Joe Box will never end.

Okay. Nice. People like Joe Box. That's great. That's good to know. And any constructive criticism, please... Did we get the official final scores? No.

going to count those live. Wow, that's huge. Can we do that? Counting beans live. Can you change the title of the stream? Counting beans live! Don't actually change the title of the stream. Wait, wait, wait, put them down.

Oh, wait, no, no. Oh, my God. What? There's maybe a fairness thing of you guys. Oh, I got a hair in mine, guys. Look, this must be worth something. I got a Joe hair. don't say anything

I have my count I got a re-help I think so my God I'm going to keep this cup I think forever all right Joe we need you to talk while we count our beans Full disclosure so originally

how you're doing this Pat originally the loser of Joe the two losers of Joe Box we're going to have to eat the beans and then I looked it up and apparently if you eat dried raw beans, you get incredibly sick.

And I was thinking, giving you guys that on hour five. I'm glad that you thought to look it up. Thank you. Because I was going to test it and then I was like, he says as he eats dry raw beans. Yeah. Yeah. Literally eating a dry raw beans. I have my count.

Does everyone have their count? Yeah. You know what at the same time? Wait, wait, wait, no. Write down the number you have. On what? We have a piece of paper over there, I believe, and a Sharpie. I'm trying to have this be fair. Okay.

No cheating. No cheating. because no one knows what the other things are. Okay. I don't look at any hide your answer from other people. I'll pass the pen down.

Okay. Do you have tense music on the button board? No. You can make them with your mouth. Write your name on top. Okay. Okay.

Well, I already passed on the pen. I'm not looking, Pat. Although, I think Pat just did three digits. Did you guys hear that Joe said, oh, my God, really, to mine? I did hear that was really awesome. I wish you said that about me. Hand me a donut. Joe nut.

We're eating Joe nuts. And we're eating Joe's box. I forgot that I had my water over here, and then I opened up my other water. That's okay. And now I have two water. All right, Joe, let's get the announcement. The first game of Joe Box is officially over. Oh, I know.

Okay. sorry I had great I appreciate you guys inviting me to be the host and to create and found Joe Box all right your hour's about to be up in about a minute

I'm gonna take my time in third place and the winner gets what's inside the Joe box yeah you guys want to put that on the table yeah careful there careful spiller and don't look inside if you can help it um i already saw and i wish i know what's

in third place with 25 beans oh Caleb Pitts yeah the poor performance poor performance for sure um and so 25 let's use that as our as our kind of line for this is what sucks this is what sucks this is bad a complete flop for me. You know, next time, and I'll say it. I would like to win next time. This is actually pretty, this is actually pretty amazing. No way.

We remember that the final, the final question was worth three beans. And Patrick sort of surprised us all and pulled out an ingenious counting down tactic. It was amazing. It was answer. It was great. And was awarded three beans. Okay. The difference between first and second place is three beans.

Wow. No way. with 33 beans in second place Cameron Fetter which means Patrick Doran you have one Joe box with 36 beans I got this box

look inside the box get in there man get in Joe's box it's three muffins you get three homemade muffins what flavor are they and guess what I'm going to do they are blueberry muffins

what you're going to hit your microphone stop don't do that these are expensive microphones They're expensive muffins, too. I'm going to give two to Joe. I don't want to. Thank you, bro. Oh, my God.

And let's get a round of applause for Patrick sharing his prize. That's very sweet. This is sort of a... I like to think this is... The kindness that Patrick showed Sprinkle throughout the game, I would say, is exemplified in his victory. What's kinder than naming somebody?

Naming, but then also the way he was treating Sprinkle every time Sprinkle came up. He's reading him, telling him not to spin. He treated Sprinkle like a person. And guys, you get to keep your... beans too. Thank you, Joe. And that concludes Joe Box. Thank you, Joe. Thank you, Joe. It was truly amazing. That was the best hour of the show. Easily best hour. And we'll see if it's better than the next stuff. I'll let you know. I'll let you know where it sits in the ranking at the

end of the day. What's next? We're about to do advice. Advice. I have some good stuff for advice, I think. Bye, guys. Bye, Joe. Thank you. Thank you. Will you put that down on the ground so it doesn't fall off the desk, the mic? I think every guest... They should. Probably no. Yeah, most likely everyone else gets to sit at the table and you just got put over there. All right.

So we finished Joe Box and Joe's finally gone. Our... Bye, bye, Joe. Thank God. The worst hour of our lives is over. Oh, my God. We're already five hours in. Isn't that insane?

We're almost halfway. We're kind of, I kind of feel alive. I kind of, we're kind of beast. it for a minute. I'm working on food delivery beginning to mid-Joe box I was

I could feel it in every cell of my body I could feel the delirium coming I felt that I was feeling the hour's wear on me but at the end of Joe box

I'm powered up and now I've eaten a muffin yeah which is energy muffin energy would be a good energy would be a good energy drink muffin energy my funny bone

We're on a funny show We're on a funny show Funny show Podcasts about list I'm ready Oh yeah Bottom shelf We hid them from a very tall person

We put them on the bottom shelf so you can't reach him I'm gonna need that shit too And since Julio's AFK right now We're gonna hit a hat topic as soon as get ready Wait you hit this and I'll read the topic to you directly Okay, Caleb, your topic is 27 Club. 27 Club, so I turned 27 in April. Oh my God, the hardest I ever hit it.

Jesus Christ, I turned 27 in April. I almost joined the 27 Club when I just sniffed that entire thing. But I joke. You just joined the 27 Club. I just joined 27 Club. Oh, my God. I just joined the 27 Club yesterday to the July 27. 23rd was my birthday.

I went to Dave and Busters last night. My nose is still stinging me. Yeah. I can't wait to join the 27 club. Who are the famous people in the 27 club? Jim Morrison. Jim Morrison. Jimmy Hineshous.

Jimmy Hendricks. Kirk Cobain. Kirk Cobain, Mac Miller. Jason Statham. Jason Statham passed away, unfortunately, about 25 years ago. It's really sad. People I would like to see in the 27 club. Thank you.

Billy Eilers. Thank you, Billy Elish, for planning to die. Jacob Sartorius. Oh, my God. Don't even get me started on him. Let's get him out. If you ask me, every damn viner should be in the 27th club

and pass away at the end of his time out. Somehow this burning sensation has moved from my nose and traveled to my eyes and it's coming out of my eyes. I'm serious. I know you're about to do that. I'm not going to do them yet.

I wouldn't recommend that. I think that these probably have been sitting around for a while and they gain temperature. They gain potency. Yeah. Because they haven't opened in a while. The fumes are just building up. You look on.

well. I feel the best I've ever felt in my life. I've drank enough coffee that I think on the screen there Julio, I'm sorry. I think the chat

bought him a pizza. I don't fucking care. Who care? First of all, I don't care about the chat. Second of all don't care about Julio. Okay.

I'm not, this is not against you for bringing it up. I'm sorry. It seems like I'm mad at me. No, it seems like I'm mad at you but no, I'm mad at him for even thinking

that that should even enter into this episode. Yeah, I'd like to pretend that nothing you come out to play. Yeah, I wish he would go out to play. Yeah, and never come back. Thank you.

Yeah, well, that's me. Okay. Here's some advice, Jubio. What? I would say something mean, but my heart's not in it. Go fucking fuck yourself. Yeah, but in your own ass. That would be a good advice call.

I'm telling everyone, go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Honestly, go fuck yourself. In a one of those coffee shop newspapers. You get the entire. The little side bar. You get the entire sidebar and you just put. Dear, dear Alice, I have been having such a hard time at home.

Go fuck yourself, you know, bitch. My husband doesn't want to touch me anymore. My husband doesn't love me anymore. And I think this is truly the straw that's breaking the camel's back. I want to divorce, but I know that it'll ruin the life of me and my family and my kids are going to be. Say, shut the fuck up. Did you guys ever read those coffee shop newspaper? How are you going to write that voice now?

Oh, what's up, bitch? The letters are killed him back in for us. You make it out of the collage hostage papers. And then it's like three, it's like three frames of just. Yep. And panels like a comic. Yeah, drawn by the Dilbert guy. No, there's like stippling drawings.

They're very realistic. Amazing stippling. Go fuck yourself out. Go fuck yourself. Did you guys ever read those coffee shop newspapers that had all the horoscope in them and stuff? I never read those. That shit was amazing to me. You know what I used to read at the dentist's office was like men's health and stuff?

I would read men's health. health and it would all just be like ads for protein bars and stuff and I was like oh I thought this would be like about vegetables you thought that it was going to say eat your you know what I you're not for men they were going to still have to tell men to eat their vegetables you know what I read when I was at the dentist office what patient's charts I was a dentist really yeah I read the far side by Gary Larson I read that on the airplane and on my bed that was a Gary Larson was a classic a chiropractor's office that my grandma went to I would go there and I would read.

So people always say, chiropractors are evil. How can you be a chiropractor and still like Gary Larson? Gary Larson? He's funny. They need to give that name to the future. That must be taken out of our era

and sent forward to a man with a robot body. Yes, or... The chiropractor. Or an animal that was discovered. That is not the name of something spiritual. No. That is pure hard science fiction. I went one time with my mom.

I remember I went to a chiropractor when I was like 17. And I was like, damn, I should just go here all the time. And then I learned that it's not a real science or whatever. Well, this guy was, it was fucking crazy because this guy would just walk in and he had like a, it was like a needle pusher. What is this called? Acupuncture. A syringe.

It was like a syringe. But it had, uh, it had no needle at the tip. And it was just like, it shot like pressure. And so he'd be talking to her and he'd just be grabbing her and be like, yeah, so do that fucking 40 times and then charge her $80 and kick her out. Only 80 books. Shit, maybe I should go to a chiropractor. No. It's not real.

Yeah, it's not real, but I like getting my back. I've literally seen YouTube videos about that. I like getting my backcrack. You should go get a massage then. That video, have you ever seen that video? It's like the old lady getting her neck chiropracted. No, it's like an old woman. And shit, they go, ah!

They take her neck and they go like, and you hear like, it's like a pop that's like bad. And you just hear her go, oh! It hurts. It looks like it hurts. It's dangerous. It definitely does. Let's get some advice going. Let's get some advice going.

I want to see Patrick's advice. Okay. Next slide. I want to hear Patrick's advice. Why is it so hard for a prick to be friendly? So we're answering these or you have your answers in? No, you have to answer. Okay, that's what I thought.

I just wanted to make sure that we were going to walk on something. That's what mine are like too. I just wanted to make sure. I would say that it's in the DNA. If you get pricked in the womb, you're going to be a prick. If your parents, okay, this is crass. Your dad has sex with your mom after your, fetus body is already in your mom's pussy,

you're going to get pricked. I told you it's going to be crass. You're not allowed to be upset. If your dad has sex with your mom while your mom is pregnant, you're going to grow up and be a prick. Is that true? I do wonder if it's weird

to have sex when they're pregnant. I think it's allowed. It's definitely allowed. It happens every day. It's certainly allowed. It's certainly allowed. But it's got to be weird for the mom. And I don't know what it's like to have a vagina.

So having one in the first place would be pretty odd for me. Yeah. But also to be having to be, it's like you're, like, imagine you, the last thing you want to do when you eat like a big Thanksgiving meal is go fucking get. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I don't know, man. Speak for yourself.

Okay, one more slice of pumpkin pie. Now let's get fucked right now. That's not cool. Let's do it. Let's go. Is that what feeders do? Defeaters, like, have sex after they eat a huge meal? I don't think feeders have sex.

I think it's a sexual gratification from the actual eating. Yeah. Yeah. Of being fed. But anyway, yeah, I think that you're born a prick and you'll die a prick when you're a prick. Yeah. There's no room in there. Yeah.

No. I'd like to rephrase this question. Why is my prick so hard for friendly women? My man. Wait, I just found out we have the same taste in women. I like them. I like them friendly. I like them.

I'm talking real nice. I like it real friendly. And I don't care what they look like. That girl. As long as she's nice. Yeah. Old ladies from the DMV. Hello, Mama. Oh, my God. My bank teller. Yes, Ruth, the waitress. At Ruth's Chris. At Ruth's Chris. She just, it's kind of a coincidence. She doesn't know the place. She blew my world. She blew my world wide open. Let me get one of these fruity little packets. I went to, there's a bodega. Oh, my. wait this comes with a throwout pocket you can put it there dude

Sweden has a okay so I went to a bodega in Brooklyn and the guy behind the counter had all of a I went to a bodega in Brooklyn and the guy behind the counter has all the Swedish's in so I bought these are the lemon sprits and they come wet I'm really scared if this starts to make me feel

odd, then I might have to basically, honestly, I might have to take it out of my mouth. Yeah, they do. Well, there's a pocket for that. Can I get one? Yeah, we have a throwout pocket. Give it on me. They, um, yeah, he has all the, all the fruity flavors

that are, that are, uh, you can import them and he sells them and they give me such bad acid reflux honestly that I don't have them in for long. So far, it's, uh, longer. but I will put one in with you. Okay.

It's definitely longer. It has longness to it. It's, I think I immediately need to go get a glass of water because I do think that this is going to make me die. And also the smelling salts may be really hurt. Yeah. But I'll hear the question. Yeah, let's hear the next question.

The throw, why the fuck, hold on, sorry, why don't they have these on all the packets in America? That just makes too much sense. And we wouldn't do it because, they hate us in our country. I guess you're right. Because they fucking hate us in this country. They fucking hate guys.

And speaking of hate, next question, I hate the smell of my jizz, and that makes masturbation hard. What do I do? We have an expert coming in. Yeah, we have the guy who asked the question

coming in to give some additional details. What the fuck is that? You just unplug the TV. Now it's plugged back in. Now it's fine. do it into the toilet the water literally can i tell you guys state can't penetrate water put a put a pin in this

because you guys are not going to believe one of the practices i have really just remember this moment there's no way i can remember an hour from now just put a pin in this moment i have a mental pin in this and when you when you remember it you'll go oh stinky jizz i mean you can jizz i know some people like jizzing into

bottles bottles and you know something that you can instantly seal like you're trying to trap a genie. Get one of your peanut butter jars, your jelly jars. When you're like halfway through, jizz in there. Get the jelly jar.

The jelly smells like fruits. Jelly smells like fruits. And you mix it up and you put it back. No, that's crass. Well, that's how you eliminate the smell. That's also how you eliminate your taste for jelly, man. You're never going to like jelly ever again.

If you're eating jizzed jelly. You don't even know if it's going to affect the taste. I don't know. Yeah, that's true. I guess I don't know. Jizz and jelly. are synonymous in my house. And your house?

Really? One person says one thing and it could mean either. Yeah. Yeah. It's either, do I want a peanut butter and jelly? They say, can you make me a peanut butter and jizz sandwich?

Oh, crap. That probably means jelly. Yeah. Well, yeah, you use your context clues. Exactly.

That definitely means jelly. You're always going to use context clues. I love context clues. Context is great. I love clues. I like crap without context. Okay, Redditor.

Yeah. Sorry. I like out of context. Images. Next slide. I think I have a lot of these. This one I just put in because it was funny. It just sounds funny. My doodle is 85 pounds and seven years old. My doodle. We can skip this one. No, no. Okay. What does this guy need? I mean, listen, you. We'll be asking you for advice. If your doodle is 85 pounds and seven years old. Yeah. You teach me something. Yeah. Next slide.

Why is it so easy to shoplift? That's true. Because they haven't seen Barry Beaver's TV show. Yeah. That's true. There we go. Actually answered immediately. And I have a lot of these, so we can, we can barrel through.

No, that's fine. I don't have any. Oh. I'm going to be hat guy again. Why am I not surprised? Yeah, let's keep him going. Is it true that Donald Trump is a fucking prick? Yes.

No. Yes. Debate. Well, have you not heard what he said about Kamala Harris? He called her laughing Kamala. I literally, I'm not kidding. I've never heard the guy talk. So I don't know what he said about anything.

Interesting. I just know that he used to be the president and he looks interesting. Well, is it true that he's a fucking prick? I don't think so. Yeah, you don't think so. No. I mean, it depends on who, I mean, really depends on what side you're on. Maybe his kids don't think he's a prick.

His kid, listen. I'm his kid and I think he's a prick. I love. Damn. He whipped me. I think. He whipped you? My dad or grandpa or somebody?

told me that they didn't like Trump, but they were like, but you look at his kids and you're like, okay, he was a really great father. I've told you that story about how I saw Trump Jr. standing in front of my high school and I, like, got scared. What was he doing out there? Wait, which one is that? Is that the... That's the black-haired devil. Oh, okay.

What's the name of the blonde freak? Eric. Eric's the one that looks like, he looks like Odo from Star Trek Deep Space. He's got bad things happening. Yeah, he's like... It looks like a leper. He is the one that looks, I mean, besides The dad's Barron. I think he's the one that looks the most like him. I can't wait for Barron to grow up and start a fucking rock band.

Yes. Yes. My God. The lyrics. I hate my dad. I hate my dad. Well, he'd probably say, I support my dad. I support my dad.

I support my dad. Do you remember the Wright brothers? The Flyers? No. The Wright brothers. I remember them. I remember, yeah. Wait, I remember those Wright brothers.

They used to be out there with that damn. They used to be there. They always said that thing will never work, boys. Yeah, good work. You're wasting your time. Oh, because I grew up near Kitty Hawks. You're going to fly in the damn sky. Yeah.

When pigs fly, yeah. And then you're fucking pigs. Get over here. Yeah. And then you beat up the Wright brothers. And they, what if you were their bully

and they invented the plane to get away from you? They probably did. And then you would get partial credit for the invention of airplanes. Yeah. The Wright brothers invented the plane after they were bullied relentlessly.

By this guy. Oh, black and white photo of a guy like this. Yeah. They're bully. The Wright brothers bully. It's just like, Mr. Wrong. Yes.

Oh, Mr. Wrong versus the right. Douglas Wrong. Yeah. W-R-O-N-G-E. Yeah. And he lived in North Carolina. First and Florida. No, but the Wright brothers were that conservative punk band.

I've never heard of them. And they had, they had that song, Bush was right. Yeah. First in white flight. Yeah. Come on. Why am I so. Why are we still on one?

Yeah. We've been, it's five hours. Yeah, the first sip of a flight of whiskeys. Yeah. and they're fuckers. What does whiskey have to do with it? They also had some song. The Wright brothers also had a song that was called I have a crush on Ann Coulter.

That's a crazy. She's a dog. Even regardless of politics, man. She was... They should write a punk song and says, I have a crush on a dog. Yeah. That's probably what a Republican would write a song called. That would just, well, it just would be transgressive, which is what gives punk its oomph.

That's a good point. I feel like they stopped pushing the line with punk rock. Yeah. Once Reagan was gone. Yeah, they had nothing. Well, then Bush came back, but then it was like, yeah, what do we?

Don't squish bugs. Something like that. Don't you dare, squish that bug. If I see a bug squisher, I'm a squish him back. It's a, like, vegan power violence ban. That should be part of vegan straight edge. Yeah.

Don't you dare squeeze that fucking bug. I'll fucking kill you right now. That would be a good idea. And it's called Wouldn't Hurt a Fly. That's cool. That's the song name. Oh. Yeah.

No, you know what it was. It would be called Hurt a Fly, and then the chorus would be, you better not hurt a fly. You better not, better not. Heard a fly. Because then you see the song name and you go, what? Yeah. Heard a fly. My God.

These guys are stuck goes. You listen, they're actually chill hippies. Yeah. Next slide. What does it mean when my boyfriend comes in me and his sperm has bubbles in it? Is it still fertile? It means your boyfriend drank a little too much Pepsi. Yeah.

I would say that that makes it extra fertile because they're screaming in there. Yeah. And it's got Pepsi. The jizz is screaming. And it's bubbling out. Yeah, like them underwater. When those bubbles pop, when those bubbles pop, it's a, every single time it is a scream.

It's a full scream. And I would say, don't pop the bubbles unless you want to hear some shrill-ass screams because they're very young. Like that? Yeah. I'm imagining like the bog of eternal stench from Labyrinth. Oh, yeah. I'm imagining, what was that girl who's from the bathroom?

Moaning Myrtle. Moaning Myrtle. Yeah. I'm really glad. I'm glad I understood what you said. Yeah, you zapped my brain. It was a really smart thing to say, so I don't blame you. Dude, this is like the...

Bro, we're done with that talking about the Zen container. Okay, but it's a little bit like the Hellraiser box. It's a container. I don't know if it's like that at all. I don't think it's like that at all. It has a puzzle on it. It's not so much a puzzle. The different things rotate.

I just discovered something just so amazing, and it's truly changing my life. Did you ever get a puzzle? box for Christmas. I was one of them. Yeah, yeah. I was, dude. I knew that you did. I probably got a, I probably got three puzzle boxes a year. When I asked you that, I wanted to not come across as insulting. So I framed it as, oh, have you? That's what happens when you're a skinny kid and your uncle or aunt doesn't know what to get you. Yeah. Puzzle box. A kid who likes to read books. I got it. I always was pissed off. Why isn't there not like a $100 bill in there? That's what they would, they did that maybe one time or two times. They put like a gift card or like a, it's

always a fucking marble. A $10 bill or something. I don't want a marble. Yeah. What am I going to do it? I put it back in the box, man. Or you could throw it down the stairs. It's endless fun.

No, it ends at the stairs. It's a bottom of a stair. I don't know. You throw it up the stairs. There's a top as well up the stairs. You throw it at the three, get to the bottom, throw it back up, and then watch it come down. That's called a slinky technique.

And it's actually one of the best techniques ever made. That was some hour five type. I'm losing my mind. Next slide. What is so appealing about a bubble butt? I think I saw this one too. We already did boobs versus butts. Yeah.

But, I looked up bubble. Bubble is on any of these websites. Bubble is one of the first shirt. I mean, look at the next three. Well, I want to answer this one. Yeah. I'm not sure that's advice, though.

It's the fucking size. Yeah. This is more of a question. The bouncing nature? I'm realizing. That's okay. Okay, because mine are like that too. I have a few advice, but mine are mostly questions.

Okay. Because I kind of, I think, tapped into a vein a little bit. Yeah, okay, click next. How should a man get a bubble butt? That's advice. There is how we can get advice. How do girls do it? How should a man?

How should a man? Girls should they, though? How should, yeah. Because you got a foot. You don't want to do the same way as a girl. Yeah, that's copying. I mean, you could get a BBL. You could put a, that's what they're asking, man.

How should a man get a bubble? How should a man get a bubble? A Brazilian boy lift. Yeah, Brazilian boy butt lift. They have to put another B-B-L. B-B-B-L. I guess the best way to do it would just be to jump off your bed and bounce on your butt until it swells up.

You know, I saw, when I was a... Swelling is a big part of it. Yeah. When I was a kid, there was me and this other fat kid, he told me that one way that you could burn calories without having to work out is if you just sit, whenever you're, like, standing, if you just sit and, like, just flex your butt a bunch of times.

So for, like, three years, I would... Anytime I was in line, I would just, like, it looked like I was fucking the air a little bit. I would just sit there flexing, my ass. I think that's a keegle. Is that a kegiel? I think that's a butt kegle. Well, no, kegle is inside your butt. Is it kegle or kegle?

I don't know. That's inside your butt. That's your pelvic floor. That was invented by a guy named keegal, right? That's like the same as like most stuff is like. Like same with like Pilates. Joe Skeleton. Yeah. Pilates was invented by Joe Pilates. Really? Yeah. My fiance wants me to get for a shout out and I won't.

Nice. Not doing it. Yeah, that's right. Whoa. Hey, come on. He's in the doghouse at home now. He doesn't give a fuck at this point. He's been on this shit so long. You ain't never going home, man.

We're here all night. But I don't think that's true. I think if you sit here doing this, I don't think you really burn any calories. Yeah. But shout out. Well, you burn calories doing everything, but it doesn't matter.

You can burn calories and not lose weight. You know it burns one calorie to do this. It's like it probably does. Each time it's one calorie. That's something people always would say. I agree people said that before you. Isn't it? A calorie is when they burn all the food.

A calorie is like, burning the food is what they do if they don't want a country to eat. If they don't want, if you don't want your calories, you burn them. I thought that to find the caloric count. Yeah, it's whatever, it's like they burn the food. They burn the food. It's like how much it's the energy you use to burn it or some shit.

Yeah. I thought they just burn a food in a jar. A calorie can also be used as a measure of it, or it is a measure of energy. Yeah, that would be an amazing, yeah. So I think it's actually how much smoke it, creates. Oh, interesting.

But how does this pertain to bubble butt? But how? Tell me how this pertains. I eat a lot of gummy candy. Okay. Eat a lot of gummy candy. Yeah. Or don't eat hard foods like eggshells.

No, that's not good for you either. Or the floor. Yeah. Do not eat the floor or rock. Don't eat a rock. Don't eat a rock. Eat us if you find a squishy rock or, you know. To get a bubble butt, there's a device at the gym called the booty builder.

Hit that on the booty builder. you sit in a seatbelt and you fuck the air. You can also do the, if you don't have access to a booty builder machine, you can achieve the same effect by lying on your bed and putting your dog on your lap. Yeah. It's just thrusting the air. It's thrusting up with the dog. If you have a heavy dog like a gold retriever. Yeah, if you have a gold retriever or a Doberman, then do that.

If you have a little dog like a chihuahua, then try to squeeze it between your butt cheeks and see how long you can hold it there. This one was already answered. Command dello. Delelip. How can I stop being a mean, condescending, idiotic, hypercritical. piece of dung when angered. How should I think about things when I'm angry? Please offer perspective and none of that

Breathing 864 stuff. That doesn't work for me. Okay. I was going to offer breathing 864. Yeah, breathing 864 is my first thought, so this is kind of difficult. How should I think about things when I'm angry? Redly. Red. Imagine a big red square. Imagine you're wearing red glasses.

Put on blue glasses to counteract the red system. Have you guys ever gotten so angry that you've seen red? I think so. I don't think so. Me neither. What does that mean? I think it's a metaphor.

You're kidding. I thought people were really seeing red. Maybe if you go like this. That's what I'm thinking is if you pop blood vessels in your eyes? Yeah, you ever try to make yourself turn red when you're a kid like a, you know what I mean? I didn't have to. I just always been red. It's true.

I feel like maybe I saw red when I did that. But that wasn't because I was angry. I saw red on that 70s show. He said he's going to put his foot in my ass. Oh, yeah. And you know what? That would a perfect name for him, Red, because he's pretty angry. He's red all the time.

And his actions. What else do we have? Yeah, and he's a red-blooded Republican. Is he a Republican? Yep. Why am I like this? I tried to stop, but I don't know how. Just stop.

Nature versus nurture, man. Yeah, just cut it out. Your parents are probably a little bit like that. Your dad probably had sex with your mom while you were a fetus body. Yeah, and you keep bringing this up. It's a solution to a lot of problems. I'd be mad too if a dick kept poking me in the head.

Come to come to come to my house. Yeah. Get out. Get that. I was slapping it. Get that hell out of here. Poking it with a broom. Yeah.

Chasing the dick around with a phone fan. That's a good idea. Yeah. We should make that. We should make that? No, we shouldn't make that. What do you mean we should make that?

Like a clock. A clock? Oh, like when they come out in the circle clock. Yeah, the circle clock. When they run in. around. Wait, I just fucking realize every clock's a circle clock. This one's extra. Oh, every clock's a circle

clock. Look at your wrist. Yeah, bitch. That's a watch. Digital. A watch is a clock that you wear. But it's attached by a round. No. Thank you. Oh. Well, I've been bested.

It's very pleasure doing business with you. What's next? Wait, new hand shanks, though. I do that all the time. Every waiter I have. How do I become a porn lord? well how does he become a porn lord so porn lord makes me think that this is the title for somebody who is making porn i think it's somebody that because here's an interesting thing yeah there's two separate answers here yeah i thought it was somebody that watches so much so what's your answer for

that i guess i guess dual monitors uh dual dual dual monitors plus phone plus tv plus apple airplay plus maybe okay same answer but triple monitors now what's your answer for how to become a porn lord like a porn creator? Literally just meet a bunch of fucking girls and say make out and I'll film it and you basically make a million dollars. So my answer I'm going to take a different path which is that you need to be in the lineup succession for

the porn kingdom. Oh, I see. Right. Right. Smart. Or you have to best the current porn lord and combat. But aren't there, I mean, if we're going off of that, isn't there like, can you be like a lord of like Christopher guessed is a lord? A porn lord or a normal lord? Well, not a

porn lord but he's a normal lord he is Christopher guest he's a guest lord he's a porn lord yeah actually for real he's a porn lord I would hate to see his funny ass porn he made I wouldn't be able to stay hard he would be a very irreverent and character based yeah yeah well he actually

he would probably make it reverent because he's used to making a reverent stuff that is supposed to be irreverent so this would be like the opposite because it's poured or porn I mean has he ever made a movie about poured I think he made a movie Has anybody ever made a movie? One about a band

One about a guy Two about bands Singing, yeah Singing band And guitar band Folk He made one about a play Yeah

Waiting for Goffman So I'm not hearing poured Mascots Out of these Who was the last movie he made? Mascots I didn't even know about this Yeah

It's not that good I never knew about it either Pretty mid You should make one about Streamers You should That's a good idea And I should play the

Kisenet style guy. That'd be cool. All right, next question. Next question. Getting lost in movies again. How can one just stop feeling? You're not going to like the answer. Yeah.

It's suicide. Yeah. Well, no. You shouldn't do that, but that's the answer. You could cut some part of your brain probably. I guess you can... It's always going to come back. People, you know, I never understood why it's like a bad thing.

Those people who can't feel pain, that sounds amazing. Couldn't it? There was like... Yeah, they're always like... Yeah, you think it would be awesome, but it's actually terrible. We don't even know when we're burning our hands

by holding it over the stove burner. Yeah, as long as you're not blind, I think it's probably fine. We accidentally are jumping out a second story windows all the time because we don't know we're getting hurt. Wasn't there, there's like a, some lead singer of some band

like got insanely fucked up. I think he like staged dove or something. Was it Steve Bainer? I don't know. Somebody, there was a lead, there was a lead singer of a band who couldn't feel pain and then he got,

oh, he got hit by a car, car and then was like, no, I'm fine. And he didn't know he couldn't feel pain and then went home and died. Fail. Wait, he didn't know he couldn't feel pain. How do you not discover this instant? Yeah, you would think you

would know. I mean, pinching your cheeks when you're a baby and you're not even crying? That shit hurted. I used to hate that shit. Me too. I would crash out on my grandma. She did that to me. Absolutely. Crash out in a major way. Cut her head off. I used to watch a, not used to watch.

I saw one time a news story. I used to watch a news story. I one time saw a news story about somebody who couldn't feel pain, and they were interviewing her, and she was like a grown adult, and they had her on a playground, like, sliding down a slide. And I just thought that was the most odd possible place. But I guess what they were trying to communicate is that

what if you fell at the playground, you didn't even know you got pain done to you? Yeah. It was Stiv Bader's. Who's that? He's a singer. He got hit on his bike. in Paris and then I forget what bandy was in but then he went home and just died that's sad yeah

that's crazy it's a crazy bringing the vibes down bro yeah all right next question what do americans mean when they say I like Popeye's biscuit too uh we're talking about pop this pop pie yeah we're talking about his ass I like it too his biscuit and that's usually say it's something you say when you agree yeah and I like Popeye's biscuit too that's how we talk in America. Have you guys seen the fucking videos that are like what McDonald's is like in the UK versus the U.S.? Yeah. It seems like their lives suck, man. I saw one the other day that was Doritos, and their Doritos have like four Doritos in them. Really? Yeah, and they don't have any of the

good chemical flavors in them either. And they don't know what ranch is. Oh, yeah. Well, this is in in the Netherlands they call it cool American. In the UK they call it cool original. Really? Because they don't know about ranch. So people in the UK think that ranch is flavored like Doritos.

That's the original Dorito flavor. That's what they think. They're so dumb. Isn't that wrong? Isn't that wrong? I'm sure they had to have gotten ranch across the pond. I've watched probably 20 videos of British people trying ranch for the first time. Yeah. It's unbelievable. Have you seen, you haven't seen the videos of the, the, like, British, like, school boys.

Yeah, I watch those. I love those. Oh, they eat, like, American barbecue. It's quite good. Yeah. It's amazing. They freak out. They can't believe.

It's like, of course, they'll, yeah, they're, I'm an idiot. It's because they're eating pudding all the time. It's like when a dog gets a little bite of chicken. Yeah. They, like, they lose their shit. It's crazy. And how do you go back to all your food in the bloody UK after you've had a funnion? I just don't know.

I just don't know. I just don't know. I simply don't know. Get off your phone, bro. It's your PowerPoint. I have to text Alex and ask you if you Fedmo. Fedmo. Okay, so what's just in silence?

My friend Rupert texted me just now. What do you say, no? His friend Josh needs advice. Oh, really? We can answer it live. We can answer this live. That's perfect. Okay.

So Josh needs advice on how do I get Haktua tonight? Okay, shut it down. Josh. I hate you. Josh. You suck. I don't know who you are. No, I got you. Man. Where is that girl live? I don't know. She lives in a small town where only 10 people live. Yeah.

In like Tennessee or something. So I guess you travel there. Oh, first you got to get that motherfucker that always knows where everybody is. Geogessor. Mr. Geogessor. He's not that good, though. He never answered my question. Oh, yeah. Is there any town in the USA that has no pizza? That's a good question.

That is a really good question. and the only person I could possibly think of to answer it was that guy. And he didn't answer you? Mr. Rainbolt? Mr. Rainbow did not answer. So I guess you go to that. Go to Rainbow.

Go to Rainbow. See if you can find her shirt or whatever he does. Uh-huh. And then you go and ask her to spit on your penis. And then if she says yes. Then go for it. Hey, Bob's your uncle, man. Go ahead.

But if she says no, you're going to have to leave. You leave. Unless he just wants to hang out. And maybe get to know you. And she says, no. but we can go to dinner. That's like... Yeah.

Well, no. Next slide. She's trying to get a free meal out of him. Yeah. And I'll pay. What if she doesn't I'll pay? Well, then now he's getting a free meal out of her. I don't think this is right.

Yeah, that's fair enough. You're right. Let's see the next slide. All right, let's get to the next question, I guess. Okay, so... Is he AFK? Oh. Do you like Popeye the sailor?

Yeah, I really like Bobai. I do. I'm a fan. Yeah. He defended our country. Yeah, he did. Yeah. He's a sailor. Let's get the next question here.

Let's see the next one. I think this. How can I move from Jamaica and become a porn star in the U.S.? I think that's the same question we answered as the porn lord. Well, this is being a porn subject. Yeah. But this is also including Jamaica. Just charter a boat.

Yeah, straight to. Salter a boat, straight to Miami, then get on the bus, go to New York. Then go from New York to L.A. You want to get to Cleveland. We'll see the states first. Sure. You're going to go to Grand Canyon for a couple days. It's beautiful there.

Alaska. Nome. Alaska. Oh my God. Are you kidding me? Alaska up here is amazing. You got to see Yellowstone. Yeah.

And then you'll go to Los Angeles and you go be a porcelah. You overdose on drugs. That's why we had you see the entire country before you go. Because when your life flashes before your eyes, it's going to be fucking beautiful. Yeah. You're going to have a smile on your face. It's going to be better than any documentary. Absolutely.

Next question. Do you consider a person who uses the F words to be an impolite person. So yes, because I'm seeing the plural of F word. I would say one F word that I can think of. There's one F word that I'm okay with.

Okay, yeah, I guess that's impolite in certain company. Both F words. The other F word, no. That's not, that's not impolite. No, no, no. That's very impolite.

And my advice would be if you see somebody using the F word, say something. There we go. To the TSA. If you see something, say something.

If you hear something. I think that's the last one. Maybe check the next slide. How do I tell my girlfriend that she needs big jugs? Just tell her, man. How do you tell your girlfriend? Just say, you need big jugs.

Yeah. Don't dance around it or it's going to get worse. No, it'll make it worse. You need big jugs. Hey, we need to talk. Hey, can we talk later tonight? Did I talk to you? Yeah, sure.

She gets off work. What's going on? You're already sitting in the driveway. I don't know how to say this. I'm just going to have giant jugs. You need big jugs. You need big jugs. You need big jugs.

You need that. I need big jugs. Yeah. Well, that's the thing. This question. I need you to need big jugs. need big jugs. He's saying that he needs big jugs. No, he's

saying, how do we see tell her she need it? But he needs them. We don't know that. She might have a disease where she doesn't have big jugs. Her body will eat itself and die. Oh, right. Or she could have too good of a bag. She might have milk deficient. She could have a back that's too good. Yeah. She has reversed. And he's like, you need big jugs.

Exactly. That's what's all I say, we don't know the situation. You need big jugs. You're going to grow into yourself like a goat's horn. That can happen. Just ask her. Just ask. You get a disease and die? Yeah, that's pretty bad. Yeah. But it's probably not going to happen. Next slide.

Do you straight men get turned on by guys with boobs? I can't speak for every straight man, but yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, guys with boobs. And you, if, is this my last slide? Sure, hope not. All right.

Yeah. All right, let's, uh... Okay, so here's the rainbolt not, not responding to the towns with no pizza thing. Yeah, that was fucked up. It's fucked up that he doesn't, all right. Drink it too much. Whoa, Brandon Wardell follows Rainbolt. Lucky you, Rainbow.

Too, congrats. All right, you want to start reading your advice while it goes to D-D? I guess so, yeah. Yeah, so my first few are straightforward advice questions. I think we can go into. And then I found some questions that I really want genuine answers to. Okay. Every question here, I want to hear a real truthful answer.

Listen, I can turn the funny off. I can't turn the smile. We've laughed a lot, but I really need answers to these questions. Yeah, man, let's be real. Especially I need answers. We're almost halfway through. Yeah. I'm feeling it.

I'm feeling it. So let's get real. Let's get real. Let's get motherfucking real on it. Okay, let's see. First question. What would happen if a new inmate in prison was a total wimp and coward and acted like they were afraid of everyone all the time? What would happen?

Honestly, for real? Yeah. If you want a real answer, man, I think that this is probably the greatest. this strategy to avoid being hurt in jail. Oh, please. You know, like, nobody wants to hit that guy. Yeah. Oh, geez.

Oh, great. I'm in prison. Do you think this person was on their way to prison? What would have happened? They're on the way to court for, like, they had like five over new parking tickets. So your advice for this person is do it. I would say nothing bad will happen to you if you're a total wimp in prison.

Because people are scared. to the tough guys because they're threatening. Do you have something to say? What is this? What would happen if a new inmate in prison was a total wimped coward and acted like they were afraid of everyone all the time?

Well, and I was saying to Caleb, I want real answers here. Yeah, I think we're going to go through and you're going to see why I want real answers. I think that you've got to toughen up. So we're opposite here. That's fine. All right, next question.

As a normal person, which is a good start to any question. As a normal person, should I peep in the windows of any gun-owning neighbors every so often to check up on them? Yes. I would say yes

in the middle of the night keep your head through the window just see tap on the window hey you good yeah I'm normal

yeah I'm a normal person by the way I'm normal I'm a normal I'm a normal person I just wanted to see what you were doing I wanted to check up on you

I needed to make sure that you're alive because I need you yeah I need you alive I need you badly or you could say that that just kind of

free flu from my mouth I didn't really You have a hidden memory from a past life where you have a neighbor that you needed badly. Yeah. I need you badly. Hey, Flanders. I need you badly. I need you badly.

I need you badly. Okay. Next question, please. I am 13,144 pounds and 5 foot 5. Am I overweight? And I want a real answer. Yes. I believe you are overweight.

I think you are catastrophically overweight. 13,000 is really the BMI on that is pretty. Actually, can we get a BMI calculator up? Yeah, can you? Yeah, you pull up. Search BMI calculator. Look up BMI calculator and type in all these stats. Yeah, and we're going to do 13,144 pounds, 5 foot 5.

Let's see what. All right, your weight. All right, so we got it right here. That you got it just a little... It's just a weird yellow website. Five, five. No, not 55 feet. No, no, no, no.

That would make it too... No, it's feet and inches, yeah. Feet five, five. He's a metric. 13, 144. One three, one, four, four. Don't put a comma. Oh, you don't put a comma.

Okay. Now let's calculate. Okay, so that's 2,100 and... 87. 87 so where would that put you that would put you overweight i think that's underweight and yeah i don't know i got it reversed yeah no that's way over because i was here my bMI's a little higher than that is there can we see the chart is there any way to see the chart i don't think so no let's just get the next advice question yeah so you see now i'm kind of veering away for advice also

it's more questions i need answers to this could be q and a section more than advice yeah i guess we should call let's look at the next question are you a sticky little slimer Depends on the night I'm not trying to be funny Are you a sticky little slimer? I would say no You're no and you it's depends It depends

In your depends maybe Oh damn I'm a sticky slimer in my depends That's nasty And it's okay to wear Depends if you're incontinent Well yeah Nobody's arguing

If you're incontinent Nobody's like You shouldn't wear a diaper You should shit on the floor At the movie theater Nobody's asking for that It's okay All right next question please

what is the use of slime i think okay i've seen a video of somebody using slime to clean out a car i've seen this too it's to get to get between the keys on a keyboard to get the between the keyboard that is a good use of slime and to clean your car and and simply to have fun to clean a corner you know how you can't get a corner because the vacuums are round or to clean i mean if it's cleaning a keyboard that's keyboard's almost similar to corn you could also clean the corn You could clean a corn cob between the kernels? Between the kernels? Yeah.

With slime? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, next question, next question. Why do parents not like slime? I think I know they don't like slime because of that one car talk thing that we saw where it gets on the seed of your car. Oh, yeah. Good callback. Yes.

I would say also they grew up in a time where slime was everywhere. Yeah. And it was dangerous. Yeah. Now they're not used to it being repurposed. Slime used to be a big problem. Now it's fine. Yeah.

Now it's actually a fun thing. Look at the Lebray Tar Pits. Yeah, that's literally a slime bathtub. Yeah. Obliterally. To see it. Oh, literally. It obliterated many a family.

Yeah. Really? Has anyone died in the tar pits? Well, the cavemen all did. It's filled with bones. I said, anybody, not any cave buddy. Cave men are not your buddies? They are not your buddies.

Of course, they're my buddies, but it's not what I meant when I say any buddy. Cave men are not your buddies. Okay. Let's get the next question, please. And a real answer here. What's the difference between? Flaps and Slats. Okay, I know slats is wood.

Yeah. But flaps is maybe man-made, like, plastic or rubber. And a droop is when something comes down. Mm-hmm. Okay. So a droop. All right, that's satisfactory. Yeah.

Let's keep getting some good answers here. Next question, please. Is worm discrimination real? Yes. I would expound on that. People, there's some... Okay, you're doing a great job so far. Some people are...

What they call size queens. And they won't take your worm unless it's over a certain amount of inches. What inches would that be? What do you consider a size queen? Over five. Jesus Christ. That's massive. I know.

Over five feet? Over a five foot worm, yeah. My worm ain't touching five feet. I'd be, my worm can most. Maybe if I stretched it. Well, yeah. If I, yeah, well, yeah, if I stretched it to five feet long, if I yanked it, if I yanked it and stretched it? All right, Caleb, this next question is for you.

Oh, really? Tell me, what do you think? How do I blop? Caleb, how do I blop? Blopping is so easy to do. How do I blop? You literally just, you know, there's a great, you Wikipedia did that. How do I block?

Okay, so you need to hold your breath. first step and now no don't do it right now okay I want you to blop in front of me you kidding me because how do I blop and smile that's block and you blocked great job okay Patrick this next one's for you okay how do you pop ooh wow that was a really clear wow wow that was a studio okay next question please what is a we we we we is a sound It's an onomatopoeia. It's a wee-wee.

A wee-wee is an automatapeia. It's a sound that you make and you're having so much damn fun. Okay, what does it sound like? Wee, we, we, we. Okay, cool. Or, in some cultures, the French, is yes. It's yes.

Good answer, Patrick. Now, Caleb, your next question here. What is a vagina? A vagina is between the front and the bottom of a woman. Okay. But what is it? Literally don't fucking know. Some crap that's between that.

Fair enough. Okay, next question, please. This next question is, what is the difference between seafood and normal food? I think sea food. Seafood. Seafood and normal?

This is R. is such a funny question. What is the difference? And that's S-E-E-E-Food and normal? N-A-R-M-A-L, normal food. I don't know. I could go for some normal food right now. Yeah, normal foods on the way.

I had seafood last night. The difference would be. What is the difference between seafood and normal food? Seafood, you can see normal foods from the normal. It's easy, dude. It's called the, when you get them together, it's called the seerph and hearf.

It's called a serf and tear. What are you talking about? Oh, seerfin teer. Okay, next question, next question. How do you say hypopo? Patrick, this one's for you. How do you say, Hi, Popo.

Hi, Pobo. Hi, Pobo. Okay, next question, please. Who is Popo Giga? Can you look up who it is? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I need to see who Bopo Gigo is. This is a question.

I need to see Pobo Gigo. Why is it for me? It's for him. It's yeah. No, no, you can't look up any of these. That's against the rules. It's your popo. He's named Gigo.

Popo is not named Gigo. Well, but it's whoever is Popo Gigo. Whoever's Popo is named Gigo. Who is Popo Gigo? Is Popo a title? Is Popo Gigo? Is Popo a title like Lord or? My Popo.

King? It's Popo. Okay. My Popo Gigo. Like, you know, you have a Pogo. There's normal Gigos walking around, but that's my Popo Gigo. And I have Popos who aren't Popo Gigo. Yeah.

Of course. It's not Gigo. It's my Popo. My Gigo. I have a Pobo. I have a Pogo. You can't have a Pobo. You can't have my gigo.

I have a Pobo. You can have a Popo. Okay. You can't have my ego. What is going to be y'all's grandparent name? Popo Gigo. It's going to be Popo Gigo. Yeah, I just hope that you're telling your daughter-in-law.

Yeah, I want to call me Popo Gigo. And that'll be a useful question in the one before. How do you say hi-popo? Yeah. That's true. Find Popo-Po-Gigo. Hi-ppo. Hi-ppo.

Okay, next question, please. How can I fix my clumb film at home? Patrick, how can I fix my clumb thumb? Clean it up. You're going to clean it up. Okay, fair enough. It's on the ground. All right, Caleb, next question.

This one's for you. Is it illegal to sell jart parts? It depends on the state, I believe. Okay. Like New York, it's illegal. You can't sell jart parts. You cannot sell jart parts. You can go sell jart parts.

Okay. And it depends on if it's a jart show. You can go to the jart market. Yeah, the jart market, Jartmartmart to get jar parts. It's not a big deal. Yeah. Okay, next question, please. Have Tupy and Bingo ever hooked up?

Patrick, have Tupi and Bingo ever hooked up? I think it's just a will, they won't they? I think it's like, I don't think they have, but, or maybe it's like, you know, maybe it's a little, it's on, it's, they're keeping it. Tupy and Bingo. These are all real Quora questions that have zero answers. How did you find these? Did you look up Tupi?

I was just looking up every word I could think of. Tup. I think I looked up Tup. Have Tupi and Bingo ever fucked up? They must have. No, they haven't. You already said they have. But he said that could be on the down low.

All right, next question. Who is Maximilian Lomp? Caleb? I think that he's a politician. He's got to be. With a name like that. Maximilian Lomp. At least I would hope so.

In what country? In America. Okay. Fair enough. All right. And then Patrick, here's a question for you. Okay. Why do I like sloppy sex?

Because he was certified freak. Yep. Correctamundo. Okay, next question, please. Why did the word door to get removed from the dictionary? I know why. I know why, too.

Oh, I actually don't know. Also, let Caleb answer this. Yeah, you're supposed to answer anything. Probably because there was too many different definitions. It could mean too many different things. That's my answer. The real answer that I looked at, up to find out it was a mistake. It was not really a word that accidentally added

doors to the dinner. That's crazy. Okay, next question, please. How many calories are in a medium? Sorry, how many calories? How many calories? Sorry, I forgot about this. It's really making me laugh. I forgot. Okay, I'll read. Okay, okay. How many, how many, How many calories? How many calories are in a medium caramel freepie from McDonald's? I thought you're going to say freep. Freepie. Carmel freepie.

A caramel free free. I would say, if I think it's 1,100. I would say somewhere in the, in the bracket of 900 to 1100. And a freepie, really. In a freepie. Well, no, they're so small. It'd be 900. It'd be 900 if there's no caramel.

They're actually, yeah, exactly. It doesn't have caramel. It has caramel. It's caramel. Oh, sorry. Carmel. Okay, next one, please. Who is Boger Morris?

Boger Morris? I think he was a golfer. Yeah, and next question. What is the boger swing? That's how he swung. He was actually a golfer? He wasn't a golfer. Who was he?

He's a cricket player. Oh. Okay, and then I think there's another question. I can't remember. Did a dog ever hump you? Did a dog ever hump you? I think a dog has ever humped me. I think a dog has humped you.

My dog doesn't do that. Yeah. He's not a humper. I think that's my last one. Excuse me? Well, actually, he used to. Yeah, he's humped me. You said on the air that you can tell you guys that when I was making this slide show,

I was just sitting on my couch alone crying laughing. I was laughing so hard at these. Can we look up Popo Gigo? I need to see who Popo Gigo is. You're going to remove the mystique. I'm going to go to the bathroom. You guys can do a hat topic if you wish. Okay.

Oh, Topo Gigi. I don't know. That's not Popo Gigo, that's not Popo Gigo. Yeah, that's some kind of mouse. Give me the hat. Host or like Tor guide or whatever was like a white gay guy. And he was like, you know, he's just acting crazy and he's being funny and saying all and doing all his stuff, you know. And at one point there was like kind of a lull in this stuff.

He was doing, he was doing a lot of bullshit. There are two crazy things he did. Yeah. there was like kind of a lull and he was like just to the ladies in the back like the black kid he was like

so uh did you guys like the black little mermaid and there was like silence and then one of them just went what what?

And he was like what are you talking about the what's the black little mermaid he was like you know there's like a black little mermaid movie and they're like yeah we're like adults

they're not watch those guys that movie I was trying so hard not to laugh I was like sitting like directly in front of him I'm just sitting there like this like There's another thing he did Another thing that he did where

This one is even crazier Yeah this So like part of it is like he would like When someone was like walking on the sidewalk He would like yell and be like hey And like I like your shirt Or like try and like just like do crowd work With like a person on the sidewalk or whatever

Don't tell me this was also so racial. Dude. Oh, boy. Racial beyond belief. If you thought

that the first thing I said was crazy. This man is completely racial. This guy is a terrorist.

We were driving. He's a racial terrorist. Just wait. So he yells at people on the sidewalk and he does that whole thing.

Right? That's the thing he's been doing the whole time. Yeah. We go down the street, he's telling us,

okay, and coming up here, this is the house where Martin Luther, King, Jr.

lived with her. Oh cool And there's like of course You know there's a bunch of like black families You go to see that You know what I mean And it's all yeah It's all black families like watching

Walking taking their kids To like see this like historic place And they're all like standing outside And the mood is definitely like It's like we're going to see this like important thing It's like a little song And here comes the funny And he's like

Hey Hey Look at all these beautiful black ladies Ha ha ha ha ha ha