Podcast About List - Ep. 300 - The 300th Episode Special (part 2)

Episode Date: July 26, 2024

Welcome to the world's first 12-hour Podcast About List podcast episode with lots of fun and guest and plenty enough to listen/watch all the way through! Watch the special on YouTube http://youtube.com/@PodcastAboutList CHAPTERS: Hour 7 - Practo with Pierce Hour 8 - D&D with Patches Hour 9 - Gossip Hour Hour 10 - Mystic Investigations Hour 11 - Top Tens @ 10 with Thomas Hour 12 - The Witching Hour with Thomas and Pierce Buy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

What did you almost do? All right, I'm to wake up, man. Who'd he got? What? Let's talk about flowers. Have you ever been one to keep flowers, keep a garden? I mean, technically, yes. I mean, my girlfriend has a lot of plants and stuff around the house.

Oh, yeah? Bought her flowers before. Really? Yeah. I don't know why I said, really. Of course, you bought your girlfriend. Yeah, I've bought her flowers, and Pierce is here. Hello, Pierce.

She... Come sit in for Cam. Yeah. I don't think I'm... I mean, I've personally never kept flowers. No? Oh, happy 300, guys. Thank you.

Thank you so much, Pierce. Yeah, happy halfway. Halfway. You guys are also halfway through your careers with the podcast, right? Yeah. 300 more? 300 more than it's over. It's tight.

Yeah. How's it been going? I haven't really been tuning it. My chair broke. Yeah, I'll do whatever you say. And this is what it looks like when we set up every single episode. And that's the sound that you're making right now that we're setting up. And you love it.

I can't believe. I can't believe that we're halfway through. That's crazy. I know. It's actually been kind of blowing by. Thank you. What's that? That's a gift for you guys.

You brought a gift. gift? What's this G? Oh my God. Wow. It's not that funny, Patrick. It's sweet. Don't laugh at a sweet gesture. It's rude. We're going to pop it. We're going to break a camera.

No, I have cups for us too, but the cups are the actual surprise. Okay. You know, I'm scared of these? Yeah. You're scared of champagne? We popped one off on Christmas. Yeah. On Christmas episode. Can we do it away from the really? And it's scary. I made Caleb do it to teach him that it wasn't scary, but it seems like

it didn't take. It didn't stick. I'm still scared. You're not going to be scared today, Caleb. You've been walking around with him, it's shaking. I think I'm scared already. Don't be scared. I promise. You're actually going to be quite impressed with how not scared you are. That's exactly what I did with him

before. It almost hit me right in the face. All right, and I'm also going to do this. No, you're going to save her. No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't, no, no, don't. Please, please, please don't. Please, please, please, please don't. Please don't. Please don't. Please don't. Please don't. Don't do it anywhere near anything. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. I'm three. Ready? Oh, my God. One, two, three. Whoa. Whoa. Oh, my God. See? Wait. Here's what I'm curious about it. All right. Where did the paper towels are? Where do the paper towels are? This is what I'm wondering, Pierce.

You did this in a very interesting way, which is you opened it and then you... I didn't need to open it. I thought I had plenty of time to saber it. Can you put... We're going to put this knife on. Everything has a place. I will...

I was... I was saying thank you for... Thank you for showing up and doing all this. I was going to say the terror... Now the terror is excited. This is exactly what we need. These... Your arms.

You're insane. Oh, my God. It was blasted my hand open. Okay, man. All right. Second half, let's go. Look at those bubbles. Look at the head on that.

Wow. That's gorgeous. Thank you so much for this gift. Oh, you're well. Oh, you're twisted. Oh, my God. Pierce, thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for...

And you've been here since the beginning. You should have seen the last hour. I've just been waiting for you guys to... I've just been off camera this entire time. Congratulations. A blast some energy. Cheers. You know what?

Pierce knew psychologically exactly what we needed. He came in here and scared the fuck out of a bottle of us. You had a thing was the funniest thing I've ever seen. It really almost hit me right in the face. And I definitely did bleed myself on the champagne. That's what it's fun. You had this an item that's scared each and every one of us.

Yes. I was scared of just a champagne. The night scared you. You really got everything. And you hate pee. Yeah. And you hate this kind of crap. Yeah.

I hate pee, but I drank it all. I drank it all. That's it. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. You spared no expense. That was 1880.

I got the warmest one. Bro, you ruined the fucking bottle. We're not going to be able to display it now. Yeah. You cut the top off of it. Yeah, I crapped all over it, man. That really was so terrifying. Well, I feel like, yeah, that was horrible.

You just defibrillated me. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. That's actually a nice relic. Yeah. That's beautiful. We'll keep that forever. I really fucked up my finger.

I need to see a doctor. Do you want a paper towel? Oh, a doctor, you say. A doctor, you say, paper towel will do the trick. A doctor? That's so interesting that you say that because we've brought you on for happy Doctors Day 3. Yay!

Not I'm going to troll the pilot too. I know everybody's been asking, but not I'm the money too. No. Great. He knows all of his appearances by name. All the early ones. When are we going to get a Matrix PowerPoint, too? I was thinking that we should do it for, since the next show is we're all children.

I was thinking that I should make it. That would be really funny. That would be really funny. It would be really good, huh? It should be an hour-long experience. It should be a Clyde-Sambi-hour-long immersive experience. Almost everything we should do should be an experience. I agree.

I love experiences. I don't think we should ever not do an experience. As a fan of you guys. Oh, Pierce, did you see the new thing that I found out? No, we're done with this. This is not interesting at all. You got to the peak of the whole thing. The Zinn prank?

There's a compartment to throw them away in. Right. Or that's for real dimes. That's true. It could be a coin purse. Yeah. Okay, let's talk about... I would have never thought of that.

My chair is soaking wet with champagne. We're in the second half of the episode. Yeah. We made it. Wow. Normally we started up with two more bangs. We had two bangs already. know the feeling when you get uh when we were recording an episode we get to 30 minutes

we're just like we are feeling that right boom boom boom 30 minutes oh i thought you're talking the other way no when we're doing something it's taking too long i and i'm at the end i do want to rank what was the longest hour yeah what felt the longest to do what is it so far i guess you shouldn't say until the very end yeah we won't see we can't say to the end tune in instance tune until the end. All right. Let's hit it. Whoever's PowerPoint is first.

I'll go first. Caleb Paracta. I hope that we don't have any overlapping questions. That would be the end of everything. As with every practo thing, I feel like we always go short because we know that you have over 100.

I'm going to rush. But I also, every time I look at it, I'm like, I'm pretty sure we've done every single one. I feel that way too. I've looked back at a bunch of them before and I feel like there's many of it. But we'll see. It doesn't matter.

I only ever remember mine. I don't ever remember your guys's. Okay. Unless it's a bubble and a bump. I looked through. I made sure that none of mine were repeats. That's awesome. That's a lot of diligence.

Yeah. You're a good guy. You're actually a good guy, man. Despite everything, you're still a good guy to me. Thank you. You're sweet. Let's see what I have from Practo. Fat and Brown.

Hello, Doc. Wishing to grow fat and brown. What do I take bin terms of medicine or food? and then he got a guide here to become fat and brown from a dietitian slash nutritionist. I have milk, dry fruits and nuts, bananas daily, increase your protein consumption, also increase your carbohydrate consumption,

have dairy products, use bigger plates to eat and eat frequently. Use bigger plates. Use bigger plates. So this is the thing that I kind of zeroed in on is like, oh, I can give someone that kind of advice. Yeah, I can't believe you want to be a doctor or nutritionist. That's smart.

Yeah. I thought it was just a plate. No. That's smart. You guys are smart. Next slide. How do we get all of the bad stuff out of this person's intestinal tract? Probably a bigger tool, bigger thing.

Probably a bigger examination table. Yeah. Doesn't reload. My sex stamina is getting weak day by day. It doesn't reload for another. I am 33 years. Please suggest some medicine. So I like this thinking of his penis and his balls is like some sort of gun.

Yeah, but it doesn't do that for some time. The guy on YouTube who does like the reload animations for everything Yeah, he's got Tristing his balls up to the top. Well, that's what's happening His balls. That's what's happening inside of your organ.

The balls fly out to the side. It's so funny to just drop your nuts that you've had since you were born just onto the snowy ground and loaded a new clip out of your back pocket like a paintball canister. Yep. What's next?

You should be able to reload it like when you're playing Terminator at the arcade. You should just be able to bump it. You should just turn it to the side. Yeah, when you're pissing in the toilet and you're not, and you don't want to go back out to the party, you should be able to piss a little bit into the trash can. You should be able to, like, pay your piss forward.

I haven't drank the liquid yet, but I'm going to get rid of liquid in my body. I'll start peeing on my blood, you know, some of the water in myself, whatever, anything I have, I'm going to get, so the liquid I take in can replace that. That is smart as fuck. Can I have to tell you guys, when I was a kid, there was like, the toilet had a little trash can next to it with no trash bag in it, a white trash can that was just like a white vase, basically. Yeah. And nothing ever went in there, not even like little pieces of toilet paper.

It was just, it was almost like a decorative trash can. And then one day I was just like, I think this is a toilet. Like, I know it's not a toilet. but it's like the toilet's friend so I'm just going to piss in it I must have been like nine or something and then the next day my mom was like she just showed me and she was like why did you do this and I said oh I'm pretty sure dad did that you were you were nine years old and you were still thinking of things as no I wasn't it's not I was way too old to be doing that but it was literally like a pure desire like I want to do this and I'm pretty sure it won't be that bad because they're in the same world yeah It's where you put stuff. It's in the P part of the house. Right. And I was right.

It sounded like I was that. It wasn't that. It was close. It was basically right. Trauma because of video games, I think I have got into trauma and I've become like a demon because of playing video games. PS3 continuously as I did not like video games, but still played continuously for whole day. And now I am in trauma. And did my B-com SSC preparation and job in that trauma now in more big trouble.

Please help. Wow. Yeah, me too. I felt this. Yeah. This one, honestly, it's not making me laugh because I'm just like... Yeah. I just wouldn't use the word demon if I was talking to my doctor. I'm doing this. I would say maybe I'm sick. I've become a horned being.

I'm doing the mocking jay. And the one, uh, the response here. And I realize that that looks just like a Z. I don't know what, I don't even know where you're, what does that even begin with? That's the this that they do in hunger games. Yeah, but why are you doing that? I'm doing that because it's like, oh, I'm here with you. Oh. Like catness. But now it just looks like it. did a Z-Gyel. It doesn't look like that. Yeah, you think you're fine.

Next, do ghost exist? Respected doctors, I saw a ghost yesterday. My question, do ghost exist, or it's just my thoughts? I am very sacred. I have to say, I think we've done this one every single. There's no way we have it. Scarlett read this one to me in bed before I came over here. And you said, we've already done...

All right, well, it made me laugh every time. Yep, it's always funny. I'm very sacred. Yeah, your symptoms, oh, I added the wrong thing there. Well, you can skip that. De-addiction treatment. Yeah, you have to go to de-addiction treatment. I sure you do.

My sperm reduced to 2%. I am African man of 47 years age. When I had a sex, I discover that the sperm that coming out is very small than. Very small. I discover, it's coming out very small, then. I think if I put the right response on here, let's see. I would advise you to do a semen analysis

so that the actual properties of the sperm can be found in any anomalies can be detected. Follow the steps as advised, health tips, slash. I would love to do a semen analysis and have like a video game stat bars show up. 2% motility. Count. It's like five stars.

It's all the different rankings. It's the thing they do in Pokemon where it's the five like, the five-sided, like, shape. You should be able to adjust the sliders. They fully do that? Yeah. I think they do.

I think they do. Okay, but do they have strength, intelligence, charisma, dexterity? No. It should just be, yeah, how many. It should be a personality test where it shows you the TV character that your sperms are most like.

Yeah, right. The flash. That would be mine. With a little warning that says, this has no reflection what kind of kids these sperm will create. As sperm, they are like the flower. As sperm, they're like this.

I like my sperm reduced to 2% because it makes me think that, he's like, I used to have whole sperm. Yeah. Well, it makes me wonder what they looked at at 100%. Yeah. Well, you can have half sperm. You can have a head with no tail and a tail with no head.

Do you think someone born with no tail is fucked up? They're just not going to have a tail. You think somebody is some sperm that's just the head swimming? You say someone born. Someone born of sperm. Someone born of sperm with no tail. Does that create a person? That creates half a person.

That's what happens. But that sperm would have to be like, it's like the Thai cave swimmers where they have to give him ketamine and scoot them out. It's like a sperm brought a sleepy sperm into the egg. Because that sperm's not making it. No. Yeah. He brought his buddy.

He was like, I know you wanted to be in the egg. You were talking about it a lot. You were talking about the egg. The nicest sperm in the world. When sperm's decided to go to the second location. Every sperm who didn't make it to the egg is like, should we go back? Yeah, let's leak out.

Let's just leak out of this. Dude, they're bringing the napkin. Dude, the towel's coming. Let's leak, come on. Let's leak. Let's leak. The towel. Dude, the towel's awesome.

I bet that shit's cozy, man. He's stuck in a T-shirt. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Next, I have virgin destruction. Now I am fine. I'm felling better now, so I think now it's not necessary to visit doctor. I am felling better.

Oh. And the doctor. Virgin. Okay, good. Wait, so virgin destruction meaning, virgin destruction means I had sex.

Yeah, right. And now they're feeling fine. Sacrificial ritual of some sort. That's the end of my practice. Excellent. Okay. Here, I'll hit mine. We'll go pick on mine.

We'll step it up. I'll step up the speed. We'll go fast. I'm going to go faster. Even some of mine are skippable. Okay. Okay, let's see what I got here. Pain below knee.

Yesterday afternoon, accidentally I jumped. And from that, movement, I'm experiencing sharp pain on my left leg below the knee. That's what I thought was funny. How do you accidentally jump? Whoops. I mean, you get excited. Yeah, you're leaving the movie and then the credits in and there's a post-credit scene. Yeah. That's just an explosion. So it has to be a lie, which means that the reason, the actual reason they jumped is embarrassing. Yeah, okay, next one. About sperm lifespan. Hello, sir, and madam. My question is, how long

going to sperm remain alive on phone screen and back cover after ejaculation. Both screen and back cover. That means that you're sperming on it and you went, oh shit. It's a female. It's a female. Okay, so she was blocking it with her phone.

She said, well, I use that side. Let's use the back. And then, wait, she wants it to be alive. So she was trying to get it back. I don't think I don't remember if I put multiple, but this was a very common question. And how long can sperm remain alive on a phone screen? She was using her phone as a dental dam.

I think what happens is that a lot of this is, a lot of this is... What picture did he have on the phone? It's like a werewolf. It's a werewolf like, yeah. And it said don't come in here. All right, next one. My pen is so weak, it's not strongly. My penis is weak, sir.

It's not strong. What I do in sex, it's not working. I have hand pump habit. I have spoil my life. No. I feel like definitely use this one. He spoiled his life. I've spoiled my life.

My hand pumping. I've spoiled my life. I thought that was sad. That is sad. Next one. For what? A pump habit? I have a habit of fingering my anus.

I feel like I have the need to clean my anus inserting my finger into my anus in order to clean after pooping. Do I need to do this? Sometimes when I don't do it after sometime, I feel like I have the need to go do it somehow. I can't stop. Please help. Do I need to do this? Yes.

I think that it might just be itchy. Yeah. Yeah. You have an itch. That's fine. At least do it before you poop. At worst, you have a worm. Don't do it before you poop.

Well, then it's not getting poop on your finger on. There's literally poop inside locked in a lot of water. Oh, yeah, that's true. Do it after you poop. Yeah, I guess because the poop's gone. But it's just passed through. It's an interesting question, isn't it? There's two schools of thought on this one, aren't there?

I thought that you were just convinced that there was one, but you... No, it's interesting, isn't it? Right. Is it, yeah. When is it best to it's the inside of your asshole? Before after you poop. When the poop is in, but it hasn't rubbed against the walls yet. but also before you've wiped it.

Yeah, it's so fascinating, but there isn't time to discuss it any further. The anus is so fast. I used who I think that pooping scratches it. Mustarbation habit. I am having a concern with the way I musterbate. I sleep lying on my abdomens and hold a pillow. I rub my male organ against bed,

holding tight my pillow, and subsequently I come. I have never musterbated using my hands shaking my male organ. I afraid whether it will cause problems in real sex with my wife in near future, whether it will be enjoyable to have sex by insertion of male organ inside female organ,

How many percentage of people masturbate in this May, please advice? I like that they're being polite enough to say male organ, but they're talking about fucking a pill. I'm using my hands shaking my male organ. Using my male organ. You think that's a normal way, so shake it around. Well, he's only doing

it in May. Yeah. In this May. In this May. Okay, next one, please. Weird habit. Hi. My friend has this habit of rubbing others' elbows while sucking his own tongue. My friend. He can do this for hours.

He is doing this from childhood. Why is he doing that? Which doc to consult? I don't think this is exclusively his problem. Who's sitting there for hours? He can do it for hours. The bus driver. That's the problem.

He gets on it the first stop. Get this fucking get away from me. But he is my friend. And I'm the bus driver. Sorry, he's doing this from childhood. Yeah, he's been doing this. Listen, I'll ask the doctors online. I'll see if there's anything they can do to help him out.

You should go to Practo. Existentialism. Has anyone found out the point yet? How much is it necessary and how far too extended it can go to? What is the end to an existentialism thinking? Has anyone found out the point yet? I feel like if you're... Someone on this website for sure. The guy is fucking a pillow.

Yeah, he's pretty much got it handled. Yeah. Okay, next one. What is the point? What is the point? Strange revelations. Relevations. Please answer to my question,

considering a strange but real relevation from an intelligent being, which has been revealing and responding to me for several years, the spiritual being reveals to me that I'm a boy pedophile, but he encourages me to, I would put it this way. Imagine having sex with women, kind of taking the role of their husband. This, he shows, will prepare me for a marriage with a now teenage girl and to win my sinful desires. Is it possible, according to psychiatry? I think Freud talked about this. Yeah, if this would be in a textbook if it were written more eloquently, I think.

Yeah. Okay, we can go to the next one here, which is my nose become red and swell. Right now I am 18 weeks pregnant. Recently, I've noticed my nose has become red and swell from bottom. My nose looks like Joker's. Is it normal? And let's hit the next one here really quick because constant headache. My nose is up and down like Joker.

So I found out here that it's only these two, but for some reason I guess they think that Joker's nose does stuff. Does it mean Joker? I think they mean Joker like clown. But does a clown's nose go up and down? Well, it's red. But it doesn't wiggle. That's true.

We know it's red. We're aware. It's a red. With an up and down movement, I don't think I've seen out of a clown. And also, at the end of this, please help me, sir, headache, ears are painting sometime. I got high fever and my nose became nosy. Okay, nose becoming nosy. That's not a problem.

That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. You don't have a problem. Don't worry. That's okay. You need your nose to become nosy. Yeah.

My nose is nosy. Okay, what else? It's up and down. Sounds normal so far. No, it's like Joker. Oh, okay. Oh, fuck. Yeah.

Oh, so it's not real? All right. Next one. Confused brain. Sir, when I am driving, I'm so confused. When I'm stopped, I will accelerate the engine and also press the handbrake. I'm so depressed. Please advise me. That's sad. Confused brain. I would say that, yeah, he's just

not very good of driving. He needs to drive more. He needs to drive more. You ask this question. And you're not depressed. Backs. Come on now. Well, he would have probably mentioned a boat. He probably would have mentioned it if it was fucking SpongeBob. Maybe not. By the way, I'm Spongerob.

He would have said. Oh, no, is my nose. up and down, like a flute. Doctors would have been lining up to answer his question. Okay, let's hit the next one here. Oh, SpongeBob's boating instructor was an airbag.

Whoa. Constant wiggle vision, morning and night. Doctor, can you please help me with this issue? As I see in Source of Light and I move it quickly, I see a weavy like bounces. Can you suggest, please, sir, ma'am? They have constant wiggle vision where they see weavy like bounces.

We should probably build a temple in your honor. You sound like a religious healer. Especially 16. Yeah, wow. Already being wiggle vision? This is exactly what happened when King Tutt became the god king. Yeah. He's like, I have wiggle vision.

And I'm eight. All right. Here's your tomb. All right, what was the next one here? Walking problem. Walking problem. I bounce while I walk. Everyone says me, why I dance while walking.

Here, let's just skip to the next one here. Cameron has said that to me once when he saw me on the street. He said, I knew it was. you because you have a bouncing walking. Let's skip forward some. Oh, skip this one. I want to become white. Skip this one. Skip this one. Another I want to become white. Skip this one. These look amazing. Why do I feel shy when my vagina gets licked by my husband? Is it any problem? Skip. You should feel shy. Yeah. And then skip here. And then one, oh, yeah, here it is. Eye power. Will chicken reduce the eye power while we're watching mobile phone or television?

That is true, though. That will. Chicken will reduce. Yeah. Wait. I, yeah. Chicken will reduce your brain you get chicken brain and chicken eyes yeah uh okay then next one eyebrow flirting every time that's i just wanted to read the name of that one my mom eyes is wait but even the description is my mom eyes is now a very much flirting day by day my mom's eyes are flirting yeah i'm bp low i want to meet the mama uh next one is itching in soft palate i wonder if i was a pig in previous birth i make sound through nose i do this this is you and then we have a serious is in the next one. Guinea pig bite.

My guinea pig bit me two days ago and I don't have fever or anything. She is also healthy and behaving normally. Should I get injections? Next. Guinea pigs and rabies. Hello, my guinea pig

bit me on my finger a week ago. I've taken the full anti-rabies dose in January 2021. Should I take a booster dose? Next. Hello, doctors. If a guinea pig who bit me is alive after 10 days of biting

does that mean he wouldn't have given me rabies. Next. Hello, doctors. Please just tell me one thing. If my guinea pig is alive after 12 days of biting me, can I be sure he didn't give me rabies? Same guy or same woman.

Yeah. Next. If my guinea pig's alive and well after 15 days of biting me, a little blood came out. Can I be sure that she didn't give me rabies? And that's the last of the guinea pig. But this person was really kind of coming back

and hitting it over and over. I'm not sure that you, I feel like you'd probably know if a guinea pig had rabies, though. Yeah. Well, it turns out there's never been, there was a mouse at Windjammer, and everyone inside was like,

there's a mouse, and then I remember this because I was in the bathroom, and I heard, I went in after I heard everyone saying that there's a mouse, and then all I could hear from the bathroom is Pierce going, no, it's fine, I got it. I could just hear Pierce telling all of them, like, I'm going to pick it up.

So I walk into the bar after everyone's complaining about the mouse. I have two more. Don't close mine. And I just went, he's got a gun, the mouse! And everyone's like, that's funny. The mouse is actually right here. And I was like, oh, what, what? And then the mouse is just like sitting. Yeah, they always sit like that.

He was just like, and he was in between someone's legs, completely unafraid of anyone. So I just picked him up and took him outside. He left out of my hands and hit the pavement and was still. And everyone's like, oh, great, you killed the fucking mouse. You had to kill it. And I just went, I didn't kill it. And I just touched it once and it ran away.

And then no one was like, oh, no one was like, oh. Even though you did a miracle. Right. And then everyone just stared at me and I was like, yeah, so I saved the mouse. Good job. Me, right? And then someone guy was like, yeah, good job. Fuck you.

And then two days later, I woke up and I felt kind of strange. And I looked at my eyes in the mirror and they were dilated. and I was like maybe because the mouse bit me which is why I dropped it. It did not draw blood but I was like maybe I did get rabies because the mouse was so lethargic it was unafraid which is probably not normal. Yeah. So my girlfriend

is like a hypochondriac she was like you got to go to the hospital so I went and then I didn't they know she was like a mouse has never given a human being rabies ever and I looked it up it's true a mouse has never given a human beings right. What is the mechanism that stops it from happening

because they get rabies They can only really get rabies in a medical in a lab setting, but I think the reason they don't get rabies is because whatever would bite them and give them rabies would easily kill them. They wouldn't like walk away. Understandable. All right, I have two more right now that I'll just go through really

quick, which is a laughing problem. I am 18 years old boy. I used to laugh nonstop loudly and continuously everywhere in public places. Bus, park, restaurant, school. I laughed every day whenever I am alone. I bunked my tuitions and went to parks, lakes, malls, roadside to laugh. I did it

gain people's attention, especially to attract the opposite sex. But to my dismay, my vocal cords damaged because of that. And I did stroboscopy and laryngoscopy and doctors found a cyst, but I am afraid of operation as it may worsen the problem. Wouldn't it make it better? What?

The problem? Because of the surgery. Wouldn't it make the problem better? Yeah. It would worsen the solution. If it got fixed, it would be better. Yeah. They should have made the Todd Phillips Joker about a guy who was born with the red nose instead of a guy who has

laughing disease. He hands a card to the... Yeah, I have a red nose. And then here's my last one. Remember I told you guys to remember something we talked about earlier? Oh, yes. Strange odor of semen.

My semen smells strange today. It used to have the same odor, but today it's a lot more different and intense. It was making me so sick that I had to refresh the toilet. Okay, so this guy already followed my advice. Yeah, just put it in the toilet. And flush.

And flush it. Yeah, so that's all mine. Okay, so that, then he solved it. problem. Put it in the toilet and flush it. Refresh it. Yeah. Yeah. Went so hard for two heavy pain at hole. I shit so hard that I'm getting pain at the bottom. Can't even

stand. Please help. Almost got a few drops of blood. Maybe due to a tear. It's definitely due to a tear. What just happened? Oh, I did that. I think that's with the charging cable, which is looped under the... My bad. That's okay. That's just my bad. How to shave balls. Is it difficult to shave balls?

Can we use Nivia body wash to washing ball on daily. Have you ever shaved your ball sack? Yeah. I told you this story. I shaved my balls. With a razor or with a trimmers? With a razor?

Why? I was like 17. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to do. I guess I'll shave my ball. I didn't know how to shave them. I don't know what to do. I was bald.

But I shaved them and then I got an ingrown hair and thought it was a lump of cancer. Yeah. And I called my dad into the bathroom and I said, I don't know what this is. Oh yeah. You made your dad. I made my dad look at my nuts and he got so mad at me. You should be mad. Got your ass dab bit.

Hey, dad, I got a kid's got your eyes. You're gay. You look at your son's balls. You're a gay pedophile. Hi-ha. Hello, my dad looked at my balls. Next slide. Penis balls.

I have no penis balls in birth. Is there in stomach one side operation four years back at Poodoo, a doctor, I don't know how to speak that. Poor bastard. Next slide. It was mine. Water balls, red water balls on hand and leg. This is itchy and burns.

Next slide. Dandruff and my balls help. My balls are itching dandruff in my balls. Like, what the fuck? I use my uncle machine to cut my higher balls the next, the next day. My balls like white stuff. My uncle machine to cut my balls. Next slide.

Beef sound. My ears keep. ringing inside and it's disturbing my day-to-day life. It keeps annoying me. Please, anyone help me. Next slide. Wants to eat beef. I want to eat beef daily because I'm going to the gym.

Is it safe to eat beef? What are the uses of beef? Next slide. I guess in India wanting beef is a medical condition. Low beast milk. Oh, no. Next slide. Sprem leakage problem.

I have this problem three years. My backbone is very painful. Hair loss problem. What will I do, sir? I love how they forget why they're online in the first place. And they just start dishing everything that's wrong. It's like, oh, my sperm. So my girlfriend

left me. My hair's falling out. Yeah. Next slide. Every week, sprem lick while sleeping. Mostly after 78 days, I'm facing sprem lick. A leak. Yeah. Nightfall while sleeping. Is this normal? This is the thing I discovered when I

didn't put it in my slides, but I discovered nightfall is that's their word for nocturnal emission. So if you search nightfall, it's a bunch of people who are like, I am being afflicted by nightfall. Whoa, that's scary. Yeah. Next slide.

Because I also saw this, I think. Oh, never mind. It's later, but ejaculate without force. My age 38 and I have a problem for ejaculation time. There is no force, so I want treatment for my ejaculation. No. Just run forward when you're about to go. Yeah.

Or run backwards. I know there's coming games like the oaky cookie and what have you, but is there one where like you try, the objective is to get distance? No. Like when you have a spitting contest? I'm sure people have done it. Well, the fun thing about oaky cookies is that it's hot to jack off with all your friends.

That's hot, sure. But that is different because you're going kind of one by one seeing who can beat the last person. Yeah. Right. Next slide. Lick food. Can I eat fennel if my dog licked that?

Any doctor help me. Fenil is only used for cooking as far as I know. That's great. It's great. gooey blob on my butt cheek. I was scratching my butt when I felt something gooey. I looked to what it was and it looked like a whitish-brown

gooey glob that had a distinct smell. I think we did this one before. I did. Oh my God. I thought I looked up blob. I looked up blob and everything. Regarding listening to music, is it harmful

if we continues listening to music for long term? What we have to do and we have fun with music. next slide next also pertaining to music music addiction i have a very big problem when i hear some real songs or some theme musics that or some kind of musics even though some melody songs i think myself is a famous person on earth and many girl favor for me and i think myself as i rule the world in some kind of like god is really addictive when i do hear something i music to get motivation at the time I think myself like a popular person

and I really don't do nothing. I procrastinate works and masturbate a lot. Then I hear music and went to some imagination like I achieved all, but I couldn't be able to recover from that. If it's also a big problem and it also affects my studies a lot, even though I know about it,

I don't want to recover from the addiction. It's like having the number one drug in the world, but I want to recover from that. How do I recover from music addiction? The number one drug in the world. Music is the number one drug. Yeah. In the world.

In the whole world. He's just listening to the YouTube survey song. I do want to hear what he's hearing. Yeah, me too. What could be rap? Probably N.F. Probably not rap. NF?

Most likely. It actually sucks. It actually doesn't make you feel like a god at all. It actually makes you feel like shit. Do you have one of those ends? Yeah. The wet one? Next slide

You don't want those Yeah, I don't want What are lemon spritzes, I wonder How do I open these? Whoops You gotta take What are the floor, man I'll take one

I'll take one I'll take one That's a lot of them on the floor Man Whoops Whoops Constant music plays in my mind Where's the lid?

There's only one I got to the lid. Take another one. There's more. What's that in your hand? I'm taking the floor one. I thought you just put the floor one. No, I just took a floor one out. Well, not a floor. Actually, I just ate a floor one. Constant music play.

Let me open it again. I need this in. You closed it. Here you go. Constant music plays in my mind. Whenever I'm learning about something or studying some music plays into my mind automatically. And I get really frustrated because I'm not able to learn or study something. Song always plays in my mind. And then I have to stop to study or learning. I'm taking medicine of OCD for approximately six years. And then I'm also not able to get rid of this problem. Please help me out.

And then she said, homeopathy will help you with the best way without side effects. I had this problem this morning. Do not take this lightly. Do not take this lightly. I love the doctor telling you something. It's like, do not take this lightly.

That's scary. Do not take this lightly. I know you're just talking about music. Right. This is music edition, but do not take this lightly. No. Hopefully they should go without saying because I'm consulting you're a doctor.

Next slide. DJ music during 13 week of pregnancy. I've been to music concert with DJ. I was there for at least 30 minutes. Is it harmful for my baby? Please guide. Yes. No, not harmful.

It is harmful. No, I would say it's harmful. Not at all harmful. Next slide. Have pain and waist to right leg. To which Dr. DeWakhanzunzunil said, need clear questions. Clear questions. I need a clear question.

Interpersonal. I feel that everyone is consistent. inspiring against me. They hate me. They are undermining me. Their show of friendliness is far as getting into fights in hatred after some time. Damn. Next slide.

Prenas curved left. We've definitely done this one. We've definitely done it. We've definitely done it. Greenis curved left. Men's sex life. I have low sperm count. My sperm is not like rainfall.

This is the one. There's nightfall and rainfall. So my partner isn't happy. Next. Increased rainfall. After shitting to Poon. I am suffering from increased hairfall and it is increased...

Shiting to Pune. What is shiting to Pune? I don't know. It's going to be shifting to something. Yeah. Shifting to Pune. Shifting to Pune. After shitting to Poon.

After shitting to Poon. I'm suffering from increased hairfall. Next slide. I think that might be the last one. Nope. Need ejaculation force. Need ejaculation force. Feeling orgasm with less volume of semen.

I need a pill which can increase my ejaculation force. I need to pick him a father. Please help me out. Next slide. Itching and rashes on vagina. Next slide. That's it. Okay.

I'm gonna go pee before. I also have to pee. Great. Well, I'll sit here with you, Pierce. So they both go pee in the bathroom together. Yeah. You guys should cross swords. It's funny to think about something like the force of your ejaculation is keeping you from the miracle of fatherhood.

That's a huge thing. That's everybody's concerned that because they experience. and nightfall and dreams of loose women that they're not going to be able to become a father. Right. It seems like every time I jizz, it's something that I did when I was not conscious. So far, I've jizzed

many times and I've not become a father yet, so I'm worried about the possibility. My relationship to jizz is ooze. No shotgun blast like I want. Right. I remember the first time I manually jerked off because I had been jerking off just by laying down for a while.

Oh, you were the pillow guy. And the first time I manually jacked off, I felt an intense pain in my urethro when I reached my climax. And I was like, oh, that sucks. I'm just going to keep laying. But then I looked down four minutes later, I didn't look at my penis. And then four minutes later, I saw my first semen. It was, I didn't see, my first ejaculation was not semen erupting out of my penis. It was just like, I looked away and then I looked back.

And it was just there. It was so bizarre. I was shocked. Yeah. That's magical. The fairy paid you a visit. The Jiz fairy. The Jiz fairy came by. Yeah, it was anointed. You were anointed an ounce of Jiz.

Is it an ounce? How much comes out the damn thing? How much comes out? A lot. Is it an ounce? Okay, so if I could use this, I would say that I'd probably go up to, well, this is, oh, this is labor,

labeled. Yeah, an ounce. An ounce looks right. An ounce is up to here. That's an ounce right there. Sure. I think it depends, too. No, no. I think it depends, too. Right. I'd say four. You know, I have to say, I don't think it's the same every time. No, no, no. Sometimes you eat more. Some days you eat more. Yeah, and there's chunks of chicken. You see a full, hey, you know, it doesn't matter. Every time I eat corn, it comes out by just the same way. Nesquick powder

Has anyone ever done that? What? Come in Nesquick powder into your jism I don't think I think someone's done that Okay great

Have you Okay Is this your knife That is Yeah this is It's actually doted That thing is crazy I think that thing is

You press the It's not legal In New York In New York Oh yeah I forgot What? I'm gonna die

Yeah I'm going to You're not someone who I would let do that. No, I'll die if I touch something sharp. Ah! No. No. I really like to take this out and put it on my penis

and just walk around next to my girlfriend. A bayonet? No, just pretend to cut my penis. Even though she knows the joke, she goes, no! It's funny. She like, don't worry. I won't. Yeah, I'm not going to do it.

Whoa! That would be a really funny way to lose it. It would be a funny way to lose it. You were pretending to cut it off and it got cut off. At that point, yeah, you have to... At that point, no, I think you have to... You have to be like, yeah, I finally did it. Yeah.

Yeah, you didn't try to stop me enough. The worst part is no one laughed. Yeah. I did it to make people smile. Do you think you could... Wow, Joker. Is it like a finger where you could... Yeah, you could bite through it.

I was going to say you could bite through your... No, I don't think you could put it on. Maybe you could. You could put it on ice. Would everything be okay? I think once you are looking at your own penis in an ice cooler, you probably don't want to re-intech. You're like, well, this is actually my favorite possession now.

This is now awesome to have. I think you would have to put it in some kind of clear gel and sit in. Yeah, just put it in resin immediately. I would put it in front of my TV. Yeah. Yeah. I'd put it in the dormant. You get like a cube.

Just dropping everything. Just drop it up the mall slot. I don't want this thing anymore. That's a good idea. You put in at like a four by six cube. You're squeezing it. Spinning it around. Brainstorming?

Throwing it at the wall? Slapping your face. Wait a minute. What if everyone had one? All right. Here's Bracto. I'll speed through. I just want to do it.

I just want to get with you guys. Sample time. We give you. We're funnier than these patients. Okay. They literally have things wrong with them in the front of their countries. There's, no. I think Jubia went for a bathroom break, too, huh?

That is nasty. There we go. I have a gas problem for the last three days. I have a gas problem. I've taken tablets and resolved, but pain is continued. Scentive body now, which give much attention. 50-year-old man having pimples. My father is suddenly having small pimples on.

this face. Does this indicate an underlying issue? What is causing the pimples? So he prefers having slightly rich food but he's been eating oil rich food all his life, but never got any pimples. Why the sudden break out of pimples? What's causing them? Doctor! Batman? What's causing them?

Why? Why? A sudden breakout of pimples? I don't know. You took my water again. I didn't do anything. I just filled my shit up, man. Which old bitch ass, fuck you. Lightly Paneus, painily, not continuously. I'm 39. M. Pansy, painting from three days, but not continuously, it's too lightly.

There's no problem during urine, so need suggestion. Pain during passing urine? Is it a urologist? He's never heard of this in his life? My God! So he said there is no problem during urine. So the doctor made up a problem and was surprised by. Can you imagine how horrible would be if you went to the doctor and they were like...

No. What? Pain? What are you talking about? Especially if it's like a urine, like it X. in the field. Like the guy who knows every single thing.

This is above my pay grade. No. What the fuck? I don't know what you're mistaken. You came to the urologist. You're going to want to go see the painologist.

He knows about pain. I handle normal pee. Doctor, I go pee and it's yellow. Thank God. Fucking finally. Next, three days old pimple on ear. Pipple on my ear developed three days back. I pressed it forcefully and it's spread.

It's a other location. So what to do with this? This is an interesting theory that it's all just one fucking moves around like scrap move it to a place in your body

that you don't care about I have my sexually I have my sex problem my penis is no longer as I wish I cannot sex more than five minutes

after my penis is painting great invisible fire under right foot fingers doctor 10 months back felt heat under right foot thumb finger for five minutes

once a day irregularly, one, only one, only under one finger. A month's back at right leg knee. I know what a leg knee is. Surrounding area felt muscle pain, bone pain, walking style changed due to lack of confidence in the right leg. A limp. That's a confidence.

Describing a limp. My walking style changed because they don't have confidence. Lack of confidence. No, I don't have a limp. No, no, no, no, no. It's not a limp. No, I'm just fucking shy. My leg is shy.

Just fucking shy. All right. leg got swollen and have purse in it. Hello, my dad got legs. My dad leg got sullen suddenly and his leg finger got black and have pers in it. Please do help me. I have to give my dad the best

treatment for dipicates. Tobinitis. Debitis. Debitis. Yeah. Type 2 diabetes. Leg finger infection. I've been suffering this disease from a long time. Water comes out between my two leg fingers. He only is two leg fingers. That's sad as fun.

Water is coming out. That's a blessing. Not everyone can make water It's Christ-like It's beautiful Next Like palm pain This is a really good new one Hi doctor

For past one month I am going down with my left leg palm pain It's painting heavy after brisk walking If not walking then I'm feeling not that much pain I feel maybe because of slippers I used Wasn't feeling comfortable But I stopped using those within two days And pain still continuing

Can you tell me what would be the problem is? Thank you. Leg palm leg pain areas palm and fingered Hi, I'm suffering from leg palm pain and legs fingered Need advice on a remedy Here's a good response, good morning sir By leg palm you mean legs

Or palm and palm on the sole of foot region Leg fingers meaning toes I assume you mean foot and toe pain Finally somebody is calling him on this fucking bullshit Leg finger Here's your problem, you never learned thoughts about gay hello doctor from last few days

I'm suffering from H-O-CD and G-R-T obsessions about I'm gay please is it mean I'm gay I like girls but now when I see men's I feel uncomfortable but before I was not feeling that it's happening from fee days

please reply this query in urgency I'm too scared see I can empathize with you that is a real doctor but you need to understand that it will be difficult to comment on this phenomenon of yours

This phenomenon of yours thing. Yeah. Look, I understand where you're coming from but I don't know what to say. I love his next part. Read the next thing.

Kindly, don't self-diagnose yourself. Don't self-diagnose yourself as gay. You have to go see a doctor. A doctor will tell you that you are gay, okay? Relax, there's a solution for everything. Okay. Yeah. We have pictures for you to look at.

Gay Sex Help. Hello, I'm gay. And I have a BF. We do sex, obviously. But every time after sex, his penis seems dirty with my wastage. My wastage. Don't you use condoms. Don't you use condoms?

Idiot. Both leg pain. Hi, my age is 27, and I masturbating around 15 years and 6,000 times. Six thousand times. My sperm wastages, and then around two years, my both, my full both leg pain, so please suggest what reason my leg pain, I started masturbating. I am starting masturbating is 12 years old. Wait, so he was masturbating 15.

So the amount of time that he's masturbated is equal to 15 years. That's right. Well, he started at 12 and he's 27. Oh, okay. I didn't see the 27 part. So what's 6,000 divided by 12? We'll do 15 times 365. Then we'll divide by 6,000.

So per day, he was jacking off 0.9125 times a day. Oh, so he did the math. He said, I jerked up one time a day. Wait, how is that possible? He jerked off. 10 years would be at 365 days. 10, it would be 3,000 something. Yeah.

But that means he didn't jerk off one time a day, so he took off. No, this is 365 times 15. He's not going to do it on a half. So that means he took off one day a year? He's saying he jacked off six times. No, wait, he took off one day a month. I don't know. I think he took off one day a month.

He jacked out more than one day, one time a year. day. No. He did. What's next year? My opinion is consult a psychologist. Next. About piles.

What does piles? Does anyone know? We've used this one. What's it called? Hemorrhoids. Oh, okay. Oh, piles. I remember piles.

Oh. You remember at his wastage hole got bubbles type? Yeah. That's a wasteage hole got bubbled type. I remember wastage hole. Bubble type wasteage. Bubble type is weak to steel tie. Okay, medicine needed for calf hit it on thigh.

This is so good, this mistaken this calf synonym. My mother went to dump the wastage at dustbin. Suddenly, a small calf went and hited my mother's lap thigh. She's getting a little pain on her lap thigh. Is there any medicine? So a calf, an actual calf.

Kind of cool. Ticklish clit. I've been feeling ticklish and clit. Give me headache. It makes me feel that. The exclamation point It gives me a headache It makes me feel bad Next Lower lip have swelled

My lower lip have swelled It's looking like a monster's lip Yesterday there was a small pimple Just below it my lower lip And I broke the pimple And some fuss came out And then I slept And now I woke up

And my lower lip have swollen Monster's lip Monster's lip Evil dreams I've been getting bad dreams Since 3 to 4 month They got kidnapped and being raped Someone's hurting me a lot

Worst performance at exams Missing of exam due to misunderstanding of date. These are evil. Evil dreams. White stuff. I'm constantly witnessing a sticky stuff coming out from penis during the daytime

and it makes me feel embarrassed. What is that? And what should I do? Really good advice here. It's because of sexual weakness. Pre-mature ejaculation problem. You're weak. You're a bitch.

Stummer when I get suffer from this. I have a stummer problem when I talk. I am like this. E, E, E, E, E. Evil. Like this. Well, he's scared. Evil. Go-gu-gu-gu-gu-gu-gu-gu-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-go.

That is obvious. You're scared. Excess masturbation. I have a problem of access masturbation. I do it eight, nine times on a single day. Roughly 300. Oh. Oh, wait.

Yes. That's amazing. Times a month. I searched 300. It was always like, I'm taking 300 milligrams of magnesium. Due to which I feel pain in my leg, Maybe like a vitamin, so how can I stop this addiction to make my legs strong again? Coming so much, you weaken your legs.

Can you walk different? The whole lower leg of your body is becoming at your feet. Fuckin yourself until you walk different is fucking mad. Spram leakage. I'm Salim. I'm Salim. I'm Salim. I used handwork, and my spram leakage problem is rapidly happening.

At night's time, sex come out when I saw all. come out when I saw a girl at dream. The nighttime sex come out when I saw a girl a dream? Sex come out. Okay. Sexual problem. I have a sexual issue since the last couple of week after first drop of spram. It takes a lot to a rose again. So wait. I don't even realize. So he comes one drop. Here's the issue. He thinks he's supposed to come one drop at a time. Yeah. Right. Where are the rest of the drops? The drops are supposed to. He thinks one load is a drop. Yeah, he's an idiot. A jack who, a

Ejection. A juaxion. A juaxion. In a sperm. Here's a sir. That's a corn lyric. It's a waxen. Dear sir, my problem is that I'm avoiding to see porn movie, but my friends and some office

friends, some of the adult movie. When I see them, unfortunately, I'm very excited to see at this. I'm watching porn during watching porn. I'm doing handjob due to more excitement. I'm watching porn during watching porn. Release the sperm in a very small time, so please tell me what to do for this. Stop this, sir. Guide me.

two years old. Says he's 23. That's a lie. That's a full liar. It took him a year to write that. We can't risk you anymore. Next. I love to get fucked by men.

I'm attracted to man. I want to suck penis. I want fucked hard by men. I masturbated so many times. That's awesome. Respect to this guy. And what did the doctor have to say? It's not abnormal.

Thank you, R.G. Gorov. You are woke. Sir, ma'am. I'm suffering from shrinking. suffering who's shrinking in my hands and legs for five minutes. It's very painful. To be doing this for only five minutes and it's so

noticeable that you're like, I have to I have to call a doctor. Honestly, yeah, if I'm shrinking for five minutes, I'm instantly it's way worse that I've been noticing shrinkage for a month. It's like you're not shrinking. Five minutes. Five minutes, I'm shrinking.

So suggest me. Hello, can you be a little elaborate? At least a little. A little elaborate. Sure. Fingerprint not readable. Finger prints are not readable. Plastic type shrinking.

Please help. Add hard biometric is not going to none. Plastic type shrinking. More shrinking. More shrinking. The world of shrinking. Let me get you shrinkers. I did search shrink.

Tell me fast. My hand are too much shrinking when I hold anything. So what should I do to stop hand shrinking? And which fruits and vegetables are best for stopping hand shrinking in one month? I think bananas. Let's see. Nope. Mysterious dream.

I'm 30 years old female. I had the same one in mine and I skipped it. Oh, okay. Let's skip it then. No, no, read it because I skipped it. I don't give a fuck. No, read it. I got tremendously horrified by a dream, a mysterious dream.

Someone is cutting my hair? What it means or indicates. Is there any interpretation in psychology? I think the doctor said, no. Yeah. I got tremendously horrified. It's such a good turn of frame. I know.

Testicle warts. I have a dozen of warts on my testicles from last two years. I want to know how long it will take to cure them? Wow. I like a dozen of warts. genital warts. Hello, it's been four years. I've been facing a problem

of a dozen genital warts of the same guy. It's been four years. So he writes that, no response, four years later. Tried homeopathy for four months and me quad as well, but they haven't been eradicated.

I'm getting married in a few months. I want to save myself from this embarrassment. I think that doctor came back. Maybe. Nope. Super glue in my eyes. So I mistakenly splashed

some super glue droplets on my eyes and it started burning. Frozen glue. Who cares? next snail cream I recently got to know about snail cream and I researched a bit would like to get advice on the usage and benefits of snail cream

I got to know yeah I had the privilege of learning about snail cream oh yeah yeah the doctor said this is quakery next tier kids in telescopes can a 5.5 year old boy view through a telescope it is a celestial astrometer telescope oh no

and only wanted to check if it's fine and safe You got to wait until he's older. Watch the sky. Not that model, man. Yeah. Through the telescope. Overcome feet fetishism and slavery mindset. One of my friend having an issue of feet fetishism and slavery mindset and same sex.

Please need guidance to come out of this mindset so it could not affect future marriage life. Slavery mindset would mean, with respect to feet that they're, that's just they're walking on you, right? I think so. A foot slave? Yeah. I think you wanted to be the floor. The floor, not the liquor. No.

No. That's a liquor's mindset. The liquor is the one getting joy. Right. The Walker is the joy for the recipient of pleasure. I'm so glad that, you know, obviously one of the original sins of this land, which was originally inhabited by the Lenape, I mean, obviously there was a horrible transatlantic slave trade,

but I have to say we never used our slaves as floors as far as I can tell. That's true. Slavery has gotten I'm not going to say worse But it's gotten different It's gotten very different The game has changed It's better or worse

It never gets worse or better It just gets different It just moves sideways Yeah Next please Navel fetish Madam I am a naval fetish Whenever I am tense

I start torturing my navel hole With anything like syringe needle And I torture up till blood comes out of it Also, I don't feel any kind of pain doing this instead. I feel sexual pleasure. Then I used to get relaxed. Also, now, after sometimes, whenever I see,

Naviho, I just can't resist myself from erection. Help me get out of this. Oh, my God. I like this, fetish. Yeah. It's a different one. A buddy button. A buddy button.

Whenever I am tensed. Girls' buddy buttons. Now is it? That's it, I guess. Wow. Wow. Another happy Doctor's Day done six hours in. Right on.

Six hours in. we'll get that and we're good on time and now we just check in with you now we just okay we don't have to keep playing I thought I stopped it what's next for you guys let me you guys in D and D man oh with patches is on the way with patches is on the way so what's up with you uh I had a walk around day just walking around getting sweaty nice love that it was muggy a F today I know and had a fish sandwich in the hot sun we've been enjoying the beautiful indoors yeah it's nice in here yeah I bet you guys don't even want to leave did you feel like how muggy it wasn't

outside made it almost like the fish was going to come back to life. Did you think that? Or at the very least, the fish in its brain was thinking, it's like I'm back in the ocean. I tend to avoid those dark thoughts. Or maybe do you think that when you swallowed it it was like, this is like the ocean in here but with less water? I guess that would happen

regardless of irrespective. Oh my God. I guess that would happen no matter what the weather was outside, right? Yeah, I guess that's true. But I guess the stomach gets more wet if it's wet out. At least on the outside. I think you get wet as your stomach

My tummy skin gets wet if it's muggy. Tummy skin? Yeah, the outside of my tummy. If I'm getting sweaty, I'm going to lick it clean. Yeah. Sweat is seawater. It's not.

Sweat is seawater. What is more salty? The sweat of me. Sweat is seawater because when I see water, I say, yep, that's sweat. I think all water is sweat. You're an idiot. When I see seawater, I think sweat.

You guys are straight. It's wet. Oh, wow. That's what they've been saying the whole time. You said that already? No, they've been, you have, he didn't understand. Oh, I know, I said it first and no one said it. No, I was just explaining to him.

What, man? What do you think? I got hit with a confusion bomb about 40 minutes into this one. Give me that smelling salt shit back, man. Do you guys do it today? I did it already, and I took way too big of a hit. I might try it. I'm going to wait a little bit.

But you recover kind of quick. yeah but I just don't want to do it I feel so terrible is the truth I sucked it all out last time it doesn't work I mean you yeah it doesn't work should close it you should leave it closed don't be cat passing around without the lid

wait he got it he got it he got it okay I gotta go down my eye it got my eye my eye hurt my eyes painting okay wait I'm gonna live again my back has been painting because my chair is falling apart slowly Aqua yeah it really does

feel like I am a pool this is aqua type aqua type salts. I'm waiting I'm not, with this much time lift, I can't be making myself feel any worse. This is a final. It actually made me feel better. Yeah, man. I actually have so much energy now. Yep. Now let's talk about fishing.

Yeah. Oh, we should go on a fishing trip. I want to go on a fishing trip. I love fishing. We should go to Lake Erie and catch walleye and perch. What's perch? Perch is a tiny fish. It's a tiny fish. Yeah. It's a tiny fish. I want to get like... I want to get like... I want to catch like a fish that's like big. Like I want to catch like a swordfish.

Yes. I want to catch a swordfish and then we can all eat it together. Sounds great. I almost, yeah, it stayed with me for quite some time. I took a perfect hit. Because mine, I was doing the same thing where I was like, it's nothing, it's nothing. It's not here.

And then, no, you know that it's there. Something about, I was at a restaurant last week where they served swordfish and I almost got it, but I do think that's a cruel animal to eat because it has a unique feature. I've been a lot of swordfish. It is how I feel. It can fight you.

Well, that's not even it. It's just that it's a one-of-a-kind fish. It's a fish that is a sting. It's the steak of the sea. It's not a stink of the sea. It is the stork of the sea. What if I told you that there was... Oh, they said stink.

No, no, no. I said stink. I think every animal under the sea is the stink of the sea. They all smell like fucking disgusting. Nothing smells underwater. Everything smells water. Absolutely terrible. Is it monk?

Stinky. Yeah, monk fish smells bad. Yeah. You know there's a sawfish, right? A fish whose nose is like a chainsaw? Yes. Yeah, well, don't you think that that kind of nukes the particularity of a swordfish? Also, there's a sword different than a marlin.

A sword is different than a... Yeah. So then there's two things that have the same. Okay, but there's only two. Okay, there's only two of almost anything. No, every fish has gills besides that, so I don't really care much about that. I wouldn't eat a hammerhead shark. I thought you're going to say you wouldn't need a hamster.

Would you eat a hamster? Would you eat a hamburger fish? I would eat a hamburger fish. Yeah, that would have no problem eating at. Come with the buns? Yeah. It's a fish that looks exactly like a burger. It just looks like it.

Or wait, imagine if there was an animal called the clam burger and it looked like a clam. Or it was a clam that looks like a burger. And it lived on the land. That's a good idea, man. Yeah.

It's called a clam fish, but it looks like a burger and it lives on the land. It would be cool if there was an animal that looks like a clam that lived on the land. We need more shit like that.

I know. Yeah. It has nothing to do with water. Have you ever seen that? Oh, like a hermit. crab, that's kind of, you know, sometimes clams will be above water, the sand or the river.

No, this thing has to live in the desert, basically. Or a forest where there is not an ocean. The problem is a big thing that makes marine animals look like they're from the sea is the water, is the wetness that's all over there. Yeah, and the rocky stuff that they have to go around. Lovely patches. Yeah, so you don't have

five minutes. There's not a lot of although I was chilling with some seals this week. I went to Central Covey Seals? I fucking wish. party like crazy. I just watched that movie with Vigo about rescuing the Tyg Boys

from the cave. Oh yeah? They made a movie about that? They made like five movies. But this movie's really good. You should watch it. It was made like three years ago. But that's why I was just thinking

how funny it would be because they got Navy SEALs to help bring the kids out. But I was thinking about how funny it would be where like, you know, they didn't really begin the rescue until like nine days after the boys were already stuck.

So I imagine that the two guys who made it all the way to the boys, they're like, I bet there's going to be like three. And then they get there and like, oh my all of them died no they made all the boys out it was 33 right no it's 15 13 i never understood what's the same number put them in this cave they wandered they were confused they were exploring and then the cave got flooded it was a soccer team right

that's right they kicked a soccer ball they kicked a oh and they didn't have a me type of guy to be like here you go damn y'all hitting that ball so hard no there was that coach was stuck with them and he didn't eat any of the kids or they didn't eat him no he told them they find of the coaching is really fat. Yeah, no, it was just me. If you just take me out, I think everyone will be fine. And then I need to use a special toilet that no one can detect what gets flushed down in. Is hearing bones?

Do you see like the two, like, what was it called? The pipe and it's just got a bone just perfectly in the middle of it like a snake. I think that coach ate those damn kids. There was probably was 33 of those kids and he ate 20 of them. That's right. And swore the rest of what did they eat for nine whole days? They were starving for nine days and then they had to give them

cereal bars one at a time. Yeah. What kind of cereal bar? If you are starving, if you do starve yourself, if you like going to hunger strike or something, you can't eat, if you eat like a normal meal,

you'll die instantly. I learned that on Mansors. I've learned it on Mansors. You'll die instantly. If you eat a normal answer, I think they say you'll throw up. I don't think they'll die instantly. There was a guy.

when he was a mansor. He was a... Mr. Mancer? This was a thousand way to die. This is one of the... 10,000? I knew exactly what you were talking about. This is like when I confused the flash

and who's the blind guy? Daredevil. Daredevil. I always confuse those too. A thousand way to die. This is a thousand way to die. This is one of the thousand ways. This is Patrick, ready?

Yeah. You guys are talking about pool. He goes, yeah, you can't eat the cue ball. Because the cue ball is. bigger than the other balls and it will choke you. Is that why you can find it? That was a Darwin award. Right. It was. Someone ate a cue ball and passed away.

Because there is a party trick where you eat the normal ball. You can put in your throat and then you can shoot it back out. But a cue ball is slightly either smaller or bigger. It's smaller. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so it gets stuck in your Patrick's like you can't actually spy on your hot neighbor because you'll fall off the ladder.

It's true. That is true. You will fall off the ladder. Yeah. Can I spy on my hot neighbor or will I fall off the ladder? You will fall off the ladder. You will fall off the ladder. If only there's a way to spy on them with that and get up in that tree. If you eat like a full...

Okay, I think maybe this guy... You're probably right. You're always right. It was one of the... 10,000 ways to die? It was a thousand or 10,000? I heard there's one way to die. I think Bear Grill said, also on Spike TV,

or whatever channel he was on... Discovery. If you're starving, you can't eat too fast, otherwise you'll throw up. And if you're thirsty, you can't drink too fast, otherwise you'll throw up. I think you have to eat smallly. the thing that I remember

is that this guy fasted for like 40 days and got so skinny that he could get through the jail bars cool and then he ate a big meal once he was free and then immediately passed away oh pizza's here I want people you can have some yes we can't all get up though

patches can just talk I'll talk with patches and then you guys will and I'll get a slice on my way out five minutes okay great okay so this is the midpoint check in I guess I'll read the chats for the first time in this live stream's history My phone's almost dead I'm not going to do that

Great American history a visual encyclopedia Thanks Patrick yeah it's kind of hard to just like reject this choice Oh god No not doing that Let's do the count to eight rhythm challenge one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, four, five, six, seven, eight, five, six, seven, eight, six, seven, eight, five, six, seven, eight, five, six, seven, eight, five, six, seven, eight, five, shit, six, seven, eight, four, five, uh, shit. I lost it.

Let's see. How's it going, bro? I still owe you a gift. What? Your gift, well, it's not a gift. I guess you paid for it. Oh, yeah, your album, yeah. It's a gift to me, though.

How was your day? It was good. I just got out of... Shouldn't this be the podcast? Yeah, I was thinking about that. Fuck these guys. You always, I was watching the two peas in a pod. Mm-hmm.

And I was like, wrong pee, and not you. I was thinking, This is where the real peas are. But, oh, cool, there is. Patches, patches. Oh, yeah, there is, they have the stream right up here. That's so fun. Well, they just did this for you and me.

Oh, okay. They're going to delete this. They think we can't, like, riff on our own. They think we need, like, content. Oh, yeah. Can we get a suggestion? Me and my good buddy patches? Oh, two of the smartest guys

who are friends of the pot are together. I wonder if they'll have anything to talk about. They'll have anything to talk about. Two most well-read, best-looking ones. Yeah, what the hell? What did you do today, brother? Just in my job. I'm going on vacation soon, so for my nine to five.

And so they are piling it on right before I leave, which is they're right. Yeah. So I was just, like, got up at, like, six and just got done at, like, 5.30. But, like, if I get to take off some time, then it's all good. Yeah. What did you get up to? Today was just walking around. You know Spongebob will do a little joke for you or me?

Do they do any of that? Yes, I would say there were some winks, but there was, even the winks were, it's weird. Have you ever had a wink that didn't feel edgy? Like a purely, a purely jubilant wink? Like a wink for winks sake? Or like, or, or. All winks should have an edge to them. Yes, absolutely.

Why break K-fabe? Eye contact is K-fay. Are you, do you have, Gerd? Do you suffer? I used to. When I was a bit heavier, I would wake up every day to choking on my own inside. Really? It's awesome, man.

That's crazy. It's horrible. I've never had a Mountain Dew in my life. Are you serious? I've had a Code Red, but never a normal Mountain Dew? That's the only ones my bodega has, so. Co-red is fly. It's pretty good, man.

Yeah, but Mountain Dew is really good. I actually quite like it. This isn't a political statement, Vinal Warren. What is Mountain Dew? What? Oh, just because, what's the politics of Mountain Dew? The Vice President, he said some stuff about it. Oh, the vice president.

That's pretty presumptive. Yeah. Oh, well. Okay. No, I'm at the presumptive. The real vice president. Yeah. Yeah.

You know. Okay. Well, this is the real vice president over here. Four, man, you don't even know what the campaign is feeling silly. You don't even know what the one shot's going to be. You're already a robot character. All right. That's it for me.

Good night. Love you, buddy. Thank you for coming. Congrats, everyone. Good to see you, too. We'll find the time. All right. It's been too long, buddy.

And a warm beer, a beautiful warm beer. I would love a warm beer. How would we never film this? I don't know if we have any, but let's see. I think we did. And we grab a warm beer for patches. Also, I have to say voluptuous. Hmm?

Don't worry about it. The hell kind of shit. That, man. What's going on here? The table. What's going on here? Oh, my God, I'm sorry. It's okay.

I'm doing too much. No, it's okay. I know kind of the mental state you guys are at. Have you ever been awake for 12 hours before? Have you ever done smelling salts? I've never been awake for more than five hours. Do that shit, man. Hit that fucking shit, man.

Is this really smelling salt? Yeah, bitch, hit it. It's going to make you de-in. No, don't do that yet. Are you fucking kidding me? Just put it over like a little bit, just go like. Don't do it, Pat. He didn't get any.

Let him, oh, you got some? Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah, I didn't want to give him. No wonder that used to work. It's amazing. Okay Who is this? Okay

We each got one Can I have a smidge? Oh, you know what? Is there an extra? Oh, there is one. You have a different warm beer. Are you kidding me? Yeah, you have a DM beer.

I didn't even expect you. You know what? We just found me. I'm so glad the Mountain Dews are going to come in handy. I'm drinking that. Yeah. All right, let's keep this moving, though, and let's talk. Let's go.

So, yeah, I have a fun one shot for you guys. But before we get started, I am going to, thank you, well, thank you, make sure each of you guys have a D6. I don't want to, I'm definitely, like, I already make it too complicated. Thank you, sir. And knowing how long are you guys. We're doing a one die, one shot. Okay. And before we get started with it, I am going to ask you guys some personal questions about me.

What is it all about personality today? Everybody's getting so. everyone's reminiscing. You know what it is? It's, first of all, can we look to the future? Yes. This is an episode

about the year 300. I would like to say the future. This is literally for us, this might as well be the first episode. The podcast is finally getting going now.

You think so? This is the only good episode we've ever made. Give me that salt. So far, so I've only seen a little bit of it. I was taking peaks during my work hours

and I was really blown away by some of the bits you guys were doing. But I kept noticing, you know, I've been working with you guys now for a few years. And I don't think you guys know a ton about me. And so I want to do a little quiz. And this is going to do about you. This is going to determine.

I don't go about about you. Beetle juice. The stats you guys have. Okay, let's hear it. Let's do it. First, what's my favorite color? Green. Or blue.

Blue, you told me. Is it a jump to it? I was going to say blue, but I thought we were going in order. Yeah, let's go in order. I'm not fast. we've already established it's blue i say blue as well okay all right what's my favorite not anime but shonen i don't know anything about shonen okay this is a problem wait wait no it's um uh the one that's the gay basketball one you wish and i wish too is shonen it's a type of anime

hunter x hunter okay what that is correct is it evangelian no he just said he was that it's hunter hunter yeah okay it's not you don't say yeah god damn it i know what that is too wait was was blue correct? Blue is also correct. Okay. What is and I'm annoyed that we had this, we had a separate chat in a different set. He's getting advantages. He's getting it, he's going to get an advantage on this one, maybe. I literally guess. Okay, then he has to

go last. Okay, you have to go last on this one. That gives me advantage to give everyone else. What is my half mile time? Not my half mile, my half marathon time. Half marathon time? Eight hours and 50 minutes. Fucking asshole. Five, 45.

How long is a half marathon? It's 13 miles. 13 miles. I'm going to go with I'm saying let's say 10 minutes. Okay. Somehow you are still the closest.

Okay. Is it 30? It's two hours. I got to break the two, but I will next seven. Well, I actually gave you a compliment by saying that you did it.

It was five hours and 45 minutes. No, five minutes, 41 seconds. I didn't know how long that was. That would be crazy. Okay. All right.

I think I have enough information here how long did you think a marathon was well it's a half marathon so you don't be anything yeah I guess you're right okay I need to read it here you go oh here you go these are your stats okay so guys I have a here you go on a piece of paper that's zero that's plus one that's minus one so you'll be adding that's a zero Wait, why do I have a minus one? You got two things wrong? I didn't like your tone.

He didn't like my... He's king. He's king. I got your color correct. You did get my color correct, and that meant a lot. I mean that. So, all right, you ready for this? I had asked about music. I could have asked about music because we talk a lot about music.

If he asked a music question, so you guys are in beautiful Japan. Oh, hello. You're there visiting, and it's the three of you. You as you. Okay. You'll be able to do some extraordinary things because it's D&D. But you're still...

Is the end of this? You give us all tickets? Don't stop. To a Japan trip? Maybe. Maybe. If you guys do well in the... I want to do easy.

Okay. I want to do well. And you're here visiting Cameron's uncle. Dr. Ishiro Tanaka. Okay. I heard you talk about it. And everybody here, by the way, you guys have translation. chips put in your brain so everyone

here speaks. We couldn't have learned or you all no first of all I get it you draw a house it's a house but sometimes a house could be a box yeah so that would load to be a box you all listen hear perfect

English and no accents so because of the chip in your brain so and you're there with your uncle Dr. Yoshiro Tanaka and he's asking guys to help with some of his experiments. You're in, you're off the port of Tokyo. He has a nice little seaside laboratory

and he's like, Cameron, can you and your friends, please help me pour this vial into this vial? Yeah, not a problem, Doctor Ishiro? I do this shit every fucking day. I think I know it is. I fucking hate you by the way. That's very disrespectful. I love you to. What? You're being very disrespectful

in Japan. That you cussed out my mom badly. Well, she never approved of my experiments. She always thought they were two It's fucking cloning Nazi corpses or whatever. And let me just say, I love what you've done with your house. Thank you, Patrick. See, why can't you be more like you a friend here?

And I'm wearing big-ass DC shoes stopping around this house. And it was only one Nazi that I cloned. Yeah, sure, whatever. I'll help you with the vile. Thank you. Make a roll. Yeah, I certainly think you are vile. Five.

Perfect. You easily pour the one substance into the other substance. and let me guess the substance is blue one is blue and one is green okay that's teal I got a five you also perfectly pour the vial one vial into another vial

yes this experiment is going wonderfully I'm a roll to spill it guys don't spill it oh no is he going to roll to spill it four you spilled it pretty good and he goes no as it spills into the ocean from his lab oh I thought we were going

Powerpuff girls not quite Oh, man. I was like, I know it. It's going to be the three of us. There's going to be a chemical X spill. You hear a rumbling in the ocean. That's a good.

No, this is not meant to happen. How could you do this? Dishonorable Nephew. And rising from the ocean. Crap. It's the terrible Solzilla. Wow. Can I say something right now?

What? Basically, I was just recently invited to record D&D with E1, some of our eternal enemies when it comes to Dungeons and Dragon. and I'm happy to say that through no knowledge of mine we have managed to scoop them. And erase that from your mind because I just spoiled it.

But we did it. And fuck y'all. We got you. And I have not spoken with Branson in years because of a beef we're having. So this is great news. Over this. Over D&D.

We're having a big D&D beef. And it is... It's all love. Solzilla. And it is a... giant frog, dapper-looking frog, who's going, where am I? And he moves his hand over and he just knocks down houses. Oh, no!

And your doctor, uncle, goes up to you, goes, you must go to the Edo castle and find the great concubine, Jubio Coon. There, she will tell you the secret to stopping... He just came back for being air-Ked just a moment. So Zillow. And so, what's up? Yes, you can. Not in character.

Oh, okay. What would happen, what would have happened if we all rolled perfect? Yeah. I would have found another way to make Solzilla appear. Okay. I don't have time. I couldn't create every path. Well, I had, maybe I would have done a Power Puff thing.

Who knows? Okay. So I said, I said, write that down. We should do that. I think we should do that. So I will write that. There's that. there's um the uh we have to do simpsons we have to do that we have one other one that we are going to do

which which i am excited about that we also have to do so you guys right now are by the port of Tokyo so the you could take a train to um shibuya first from there you would go to shinjuku i've always wanted to go to shibuya station so yeah all right cool so you guys have to head over there But first, it's Solazilla, and he's running around and saying, I'm confused. How did I get so big? And he's just knocking shit over. So I need all you to roll to try to avoid it. One, two, four.

Okay. Are we adding our number? Almost counted. What? Oh, yeah. Oh, sorry. One, two, four. Okay.

Now I need to do, need to take out my laptop because I forgot to give you guys. You all have 10 HP. Okay. Pencil. Pencil? Pensive. Pinsett. Oh, pencil.

I'm going to do 10 squares that I color in. That's really creative. Do you say that's such a bad idea? I said good. Oh, I'm going to do some circle. Wow, okay. You guys all take six damage. Six.

Including me? Yeah. What did you get? Sorry, what did you get? I got a four. Oh, no, you take three damage. Oh, yeah. So as Sullivan sort of scratches his rear in confusion,

he ends up knocking over some beautiful pagodas that fall on top of you guys. And you're able to, Caleb, though, with your deft quickness, avoid some of the debris. Sorry, can you look at this for me real quick? What happened? What do you put on there?

I'm doing the math while I go. He did 10. I'm glad you did that. 10, and then under that minus 6. We don't have to be. Four. We could be nice to bat. That's really funny.

He's doing that. What are we talking about being nice or being not nice? Oh, he's right of face. He's doing the good job. So, okay. So, yeah, so Zillet right now, like, all the train lines are shut down, so you have to huff it over there. Cameron, just gave me a plus one. He did?

Stop. Plus 10. Don't. I can't erase it because it's not a really good, plus 100. Because it's not a really good eraser. I would need a really good eraser to erase it. This is number is way too big. I can't simply can't.

It only goes up to one number. Stop, you got to stop. Okay. He made it bigger. No, I crossed it out. It's one X. Oh, whoops. so you guys head over your what is that is that division it's division it's division so you guys head

over to the uh to shibuya to the shibuya crossing where people are just panicking they're running all across calm down everybody we've got it under control literally a frog that there's no wait a minute wait a minute are you guys running a half marathon I shouldn't have asked questions Guys, don't even worry about this for a thing. It's just something my unk did. We can't. We can't stop worrying. Have you seen the massive frog?

He's disgusting and fat. Can I just say something? Y'all do McDonald's differently here. Maco Donorugo. Yeah, wait. Actually, I'd like to stop and get a shrimp burger. Yeah, you can do that. Okay, cool.

So you guys go to the McDonald's in Japan. Hi. Hi, what would you like? I'll have a, the shrimp burger with the eel sauce. Me too. Okay. And I'll also have the other, the burger. And I'll get a side order of kelp fries and a crappy patty.

Okay, that'll be 30 million yen. Okay. You guys have that easily. You guys have like 10 billion. We have that easily. So nice try. Yeah. Nice try me.

Yeah. That's what I say whenever somebody, when I had a cashier, so yeah, I easily have that. It's not that much to me. So he brings you the guys of food and you all, you guys all sit down then. Yeah. Yeah. Does it feel? Does it feel?

Does it heal? Yes, it does. How much? Heels three for each of you. I'm back to 10. I'm back to 10. So you guys are getting healed slowly as you're eating McDonald's. However, Shabuya Crossing is being destroyed by Sullivan, who is at this point now running because he's panicking.

Why is everybody so tiny and I'm so big? And he's really upsetting him a lot. I'll take aim. You'll take aim? With what? My cannon. What do we have? Oh, you have yourselves, but you're in Tokyo.

You can find all kinds of gadgets and fun gear. I climb into the Gundam. Stop it. I would imagine that they're used to this by now, so they probably have some kind of... Wait, wait a minute, wait a minute. I'll call the Army. Okay.

You call the Army, but while you're doing that... Hey, Army, get off your fucking asses and do your job for once in your life. We're doing our best. You're called the Self-Defense Force due to a treaty in World War II. I forgot they're called the Self-Defense Force. It's cool as fuck, and every...

They should be called Self-Defense Force everywhere. That's probably the cool thing ever come up. You know, not enough people really. tell us that. It's actually really, actually really bad. It's actually badass even though it came about as a result of you being fascist and doing horrible, horrible things in China. I didn't learn that much about history, but I do

know that that is a cool name and we'll leave it at that. And I love this burger. What burger are you eating? I got the shrimp burger, but then I also grabbed the other one. Okay, all three of you. And I forget what it's called, but I don't want to say it's the samurai burger. It's too long down. The McDonald's is starting to cave in. Roll dice. Roll dice.

Six. One plus one is two. Okay. And what did you get? Six. You take no damage. Yeah, I knew it. You guys will take... Uh-oh. I'm wasting all my good rolls of...

You guys only take one damage. You're good. I would say you have one chance if you want to order some McDonald's and keep it on hand for healing down the line. This is your shot to do it. I'm good. Yeah.

I put the same burger in... You ate like half of it then or something? I put it in my pocket. All right down kelpric fries. Okay. You have kelpric fries and crabby... I ate the crabby paddy. Yeah, you're like, I'm done with that.

My other burger, the same burger. Marai burger, which is the one with the tariaki sauce and onions, I put that in my back pocket. So are the, do you know this? I do know this because I went to hamburger university. Hamburger University and had it there. No shit. It was really good.

Yes, shit. I wouldn't even let me get a bite. The day of 100 burgers. You didn't let him get a bite? I wish I did, but I was so beautifully in love with it. He didn't even let me get it. That was a day I want to know Frio made us eat 10 burgers each.

Yeah. The day of 10 burgers. He ate a burger right after we ate a burger. Yeah. I wouldn't, I would, I wouldn't think. No, Frio would do that. I had two burgers. He's so sweet.

He forced us. He tied us down. I guess I haven't. You don't know what he does buying closed doors, I'll say. Now I know that. Maybe he's toxic. He forces people to eat burgers.

Well, I'm very excited now to eat McDonald's in Japan. So anyways, the self-defense force rolling in yet? Yeah, they're rolling in, but they're coming in from the mountains. Can I? So they're clip in there.

Can I do an investigation role to see if there's any kind of like powerful stones that give us maybe like centi powers. Oh, that's a good idea. That's not a bad idea. Oh, let's suit up. And then we can suit up.

How don't we just suit up? Look for ways to suit up. Okay. Zero. It's a zero. So I, I slip and fall and hit my head on the floor.

You hit your head on the floor. You take no damage, but you are used to it. Yeah, but you look, you look nasty now. So you are going to have a harder time talking to people. I would like to call my persona. Okay.

What's your, which persona do you have? It's a little marshmallow. Yeah, you could have a persona. What did your persona do? You just, he's, I eat them. Hey, hi, Caleb, let's go. Okay.

And I get overheeled for one. Mm-hmm. Do you guys are personas? No, that's just a Caleb thing. I'm just trying to get Power Rangers stuff. I look like a bitch. Caleb's the only one in high school still. So, yeah.

Yeah, it makes sense. So I would like to. to look around for a tall building. It looks like it could house a meck inside. I was going to say each of you could get a dope Japanese thing. Okay. I'm going to look for a... You can bring back the marshmallow if you want.

I spit it up. I spit it up. I'm looking for a Solvilla hangar. A Soul Villa hangar. A soul villa hangar. Okay. Roll your dice. Five plus one is six.

That's very good. So you do know where it is. It is in the Akibara district. Yeah. So it's a couple districts over, but you can get there. Okay. I'll head there. That's where all the gadgets and touch.

technology is in Tokyo. And I'll take a bullet train. Okay. Yeah, that's a good move. What do you want to do? I'm trying to find... We have that now on the line. I'm trying to find like,

like, I guess, what was it, Dino Thunder, trying to, like, the three, like, whatever their version of like Super Sentai. Okay, yeah,

which is the three red, blue and yellow. Okay. Also, I should say, so the way you did that is your eyes rolled in the back of your head and you went, Akibara.

Like, like you just remembered where it is. All right, you go. I'm trying to find how to become three power rangers so we get a megazard. I have my shirt rolled up and I'm letting my marshmallow bounce on my belly.

Okay. He's having a good thing. You're my best friend. You guys don't know is that he's powering up. Oh shit. What level is he? 100. Say 100. What tarot card is he? The virgin.

The mellow. The mallow. The simple mallow. Card. Card X, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. The mallow. Mallow. You're looking for the suit power up stuff, the power

yeah, because what was it? And like Mighty Morphan, they just like happen upon it. Do you have, do they stumble into Gordon's lair? I don't know. Zordon. Gordon. Gordons. The guy named Gordon. You've stumbled into

Gordon Ramsey. Well, if we do find him. Gordon Ramsey is a good. He could cook Saul Zilla. Fuck. French cuisine. Fuck, get in the fucking suit. Fuck, it's fucking giant. All right, well, I'm just going to look for that.

Great, it's fucking huge. I got a, well, I got a six minus one. That's, no, that's like a crit. That's like a crit. Okay, yeah, yours is, okay, so you ask around for a few people, and then you find. Where is it? Yeah, where is this? That's good, because, not power rangers.

Where is it? This, this, uh, this, uh, a little Japanese girl comes up to you. Get away. bring an adult over Sadako damn the ring vibes A little Japanese girl She walks up to you

Fucking killer bro On She's doing the crab thing Whoa She actually is a scary But I got a critch So this is good This is good

Uh huh Wait I got a crit So this is good She stands upright She looks normal She's like You have to go to Etto Castle Weren't we already going there

Yeah you were So that's where it'll be Can I take a bike? hidden, though, and you wouldn't have known it was there if you didn't get a good role. So you could tell me where it is right now. What? Or I'll tell your friggin' parents. Don't tell my parents. Tell me where the Eddo Castle is. Please, Patrick Coon.

Point it out. Point it out. Point it out right now, motherfucker. All right, so she pulls out. This is how we do it in the States, bitch. We yell at children. So she opens her map that I have. A map of Japan? I always have a map of Tokyo. My marshmallow grows.

is it going to smore it's twice the size now you guys ever microwave a marshmallow I blud it when that shit is funny microwave a marshmallow and Pierce did our solo episode we talked about that

yeah I like that that shit is fucking funny me and my dad did that and drew a smiley face on the marshmallow with so the Imperial Palace you're gonna go from Shibuya

it's not supposed to be it's supposed to be laughed and you can I you guys can skip Shinjuku at this point because the Imperial Palace and Akiha I said it wrong before, are both in Cheyota.

Okay. So you could skip Shinjuku if you take the bullet train. Okay, so I'm going to take the bullet train to the castle. Cool. And then you can go to Akihabara on the way there so you can get your mech. You have your persona of the marshmallow. The mallow. Do we get a mech as well as a megazard?

What? Do we get a mech as also a megazard? Or is the me? My mech is my meck. You guys ain't getting anywhere near it. Okay. Can your mech is mine? one side of a Zord?

In pilot the Zord? No. They can do a two Zord. Well, I guess I'll do a single Zord. No. My marshmallow can be the head. You have to split your body into different body parts. He's proposing Voltron and you guys are shutting it down. You could be the head with the marshmallow. Well, my marshmallow is ahead.

I'll sit around. You'll sit around. I'll be around the mushroom. I'll be hugging him. He'll be like he'll be on the shoulder. Your guy, do you want to be the legs? I'll be the whole body. I mean, I'm just the So you want to be the legs? Oh, no. And I will be the sword. The body, the head at, and the sword.

You'd be like Smithy and my own. I'm a sword and shield. And the tail. Oh, that's cool. So you can be like a guy and then you split up into sword and shield when you come on. So I get the, it's like the, or the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, don't tell me shit from the movie. Don't tell me shit from the movie's going to happen. So Sullivan is just stumbling around.

He's destroying Tokyo. You see tons of people are just really worried and concerned. You get in the bullet train. You're getting stuffed in the way that they like stuff passengers into the bullet train. So everybody's crammed on it. And you're just zooming by when suddenly you hear the cackling of a disgusting train pervert. And he's after you guys. I knew I shouldn't

wear my skirt What's his name? What? What's his name? Rex. I look at that I Well, okay, then I know his greatest weakness

Okay Don't get anti-Semitic No, no, no, no I look at him and I go Oh, there's a Um damn it there's a shirt over there that's that looks like you still have a seatbelt on

and it's still have a seatbelt on and it's from it's from uh what's that fucking uh you're not doing a good job of talking about wait what's the fucking thing it's like i'm coming closer there's a babe shirt over there that looks like you're wearing a seatbelt and it's got the it's got the babesda logo on it

babesda and he just sort of about faces and starts to walk away. But roll first a charisma check here. Six. Yeah, he doesn't like BAPE. I let that slide, but he did. Yeah, I know. I couldn't think of it. What is he? He likes some. It's all crap that's called like helium squared or something. Helium squared actually sounds delicious. Yeah, I would have that. I would drink that. What did you get a pet? That is a drink that comes in an opaque plastic bottle. Oh, yeah. So he says, even though I don't really like babe. It's a coab. With who? It's babe. It's on sale.

And one that you like. It's a bap. It's a collab with bap. It's a collab with bap and something that you like. There's something you like over there. Yeah, it worked. You got six. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, cool. He walks away. So you do arrive in at the Etto Castle. And I got my meck on the way. The beautiful emperor's concubine, Jubio Coon, is waiting for you. Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. Okay.

I'm immediately trying to ris her. Okay. I walk up. Hello, Cameron. I say. baby you want to play you look so you look so fucking fine that you're about to make me squirt down both legs of my pants split stream y'all you ever if you ever seen the ghost busters i'm about to cross my own stream let's play bumper jumper together halo three i'm a sleigha roll roll roll to die

one she's like oh that's gross i'm very soon today about that like to walk up and you have to seduce her by the way that's how you're going to get the information from her you guys know that right okay I walk up I kind of caress her face like this open her mouth and I stick my marshmallow

roll with advantage five and one is that five I saw an icky sticky line of goo come from the mouth connecting the bill that's my pepperoni breath with that five

and then I grab my marshmallow out once I got a good roll I really want to smell these fingers that were in your mouth roll again to see if you can get the marshmallow out without jubio food eating it six that's amazing oh my fucking yeah marshmallow was like oh I was so scared cam you know I got you baby cam he said cam he said cam and then now he's at the size by the way

after her saliva where I have him on my hip like a baby and he's hugging me and you know what I still try I turn around the lights yeah you might as well too the lights are off having fun and then I turn around

and I go baby girl what's and I have auto tune what's your name let me talk to you let me buy you a drink I'm pee pain you know me roll

it's a negative zero that's not a hycou and she gets all upset It's a good, oh, oh, ooh, oh, oh, you did a good job, first of all. I do love that song. At a karaoke night, that would have been a six. You would have rolled a crib.

Karaoke and Akihabara, maybe. Okay, so you successfully seduced her with the power of a marshmallow. And she says... The flavor more than that. More the flavor than the power. She says... There's no girl in the world

that can turn down the taste of a marshmallow. To defeat Solzilla, you have to go to Senzoji Temple, the oldest temple in all of Tokyo. Wait. There you'll find the destroyer. Shut the hell up. Okay, what's up?

I thought that there was Power Ranger type stuff here. I'm glad you asked. However, my boyfriend, Samus, who I hate, he's obsessed with the power and he won't let anybody have it.

You have to defeat him. I hate my boyfriend, though. You need to work that out with him? I hate to break this to you. Have you ever, seen Sammis with his suit off? No. Yeah, okay, I'm not going to be the one to do this.

Also, you need to work that out with him and get me my fucking thing that I was owed that I told was here. Run me to Power Rangers. Roll again. Roll again and see you could. It's a pretty cool, cool move too, to be like, you need to work that shit out. But yeah, with the one. No, maybe the handsome marshmallow, man.

No, seriously. Okay. You just knew? You're the only one. I'm doubling down on this. She's not going to help you do that. You straight up, you need to work things out with him. Because seriously, no one's going to fuck you ever again.

I'd like to put my marshal. I'm serious. Your days are numbered on this dating market. And seriously? You have, so you don't know it? You have one day left. You don't know it. You have, you have grocery bags under your eyes.

You look like shit. Lady. I would like to put the marshmallow under my shirt to make me look pregnant and then I would like to walk up and say. He doesn't know what he's going to do. Smart. What are you going to do?

Check me out. It looks like I'm pregnant. Okay. And what's the, this should be you. This should be you. And I'm going, this should be you,

but you're thinking. And I said, but this is you. And this, I said, and this, in case you didn't know, this is how. now that happens and I lay down on top of Caleb and I start

and then I say this is how they do abortions in California and I take him out when he's pulling out. I start beating the shit. You get advantage is your last chance because they're being really helpful. Oh man. Six.

She's like, I'll go get my boyfriend. It worked. I think the fucking part really made it, really sold it. So she goes over and she finds her boyfriend Sammas, who's fully suited up. Who wants my Power Ranger suit? And I am this whole, well, I mean, I did the T-Pain thing. I thought it was obvious, but I'm dressed up like mystery, the pickup artist. Oh, swag.

This is not obvious, but I do like the... I take the hat off and I go, okay, but he's stones in here. And I'm a lot of pajamas. So strong! Like, he's like really impressed by what you just did. So strong to lift that hat. It's a stone hat. And I'm in my pajamas and I say, honestly, I just want to go to bed.

So can we get this over with? Okay. So it works. You get your Power Ranger suit. It's more from time. Yeah. Right now, bro. You just destroy the castle.

Turn it to a dinosaur. And now you guys can go to Akihabara. Okay. So you can get your my turn. Your suit. So honestly, though, I say, honestly, though, I don't even want to deal with this show anymore. I just put my pajamas on in the bathroom at the castle. And I really would.

rather just go to bed guys. And then... Oh, shit. Is he here? Is that a fly? And he's... His tongue goes all the way out. Roll, all of you roll. Yo! I say, yo!

Two. Oh. Three. Okay. Foe three. And you got two. But I do think now that I'm in PJ mode, I'm not going to lie, my bed spread at home is pink,

I think the tongue's a bed. Two damage. Two damage. I'm lying down on the tongue. Four damage. That does not stop you from good. I'm at two. You're going to,

I know it doesn't stop me. You're whipping back towards his mouth. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I am. I laid down it. You're going to let it happen?

I'm role playing how I would act. Okay. In this situation. If a giant tongue flew at you? If I'm tired, I'm in PJs, yeah, I might think it's a bed. I didn't know you're in PJs.

I said I was in PJs like three times. You did. I'm sorry. I'm like remembering that I was, that I heard that. I said I'm in pajamas, I'm at PJs.

You did say it in different ways too. You're hurling back towards... Don't worry, guys, I got the... Solzilla's mouth and you're inside

his mouth and you just... Hit your morpher, dude. We got little phones or something. Bop his uvular. And you start... You start spit...

You get spat out. What else is coming out? What? Oh, frog puke. Can he roll to see if something... Thank you later. Something dope is in it? Yeah.

Something funny is in it? Yeah. Because that's up to me. That's a six. All right. Banana peel. Banana peel. Rubber chicken.

Fishbone. Rubber chicken, fishbone, banana peel, jack in the box. Cream pie. Cream pie Chinese finger trap, ironically. Jack Black. No. Jack Black. He's funny.

These are all weapons. Really for saving me scy douche. I would like to do once again. Thanks for saving mechadoosh. I would like to, me and my marshmallow are saluting Jack Black. Okay. Yeah, yeah. He's like,

Yep. He does this thing. You know, we know the one. We know what he's like. What is that from? School of Rock. Is it School of Rock where he salutes?

I think so. For those about to rock. Let's rock. Did he do that kind of thing? Let's rock today. Slap it. Shoot it. So you guys have you and Jack Buck.

He's also, he's like, he's following you guys now. He's going like, Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And he's following you guys around.

Dude. I'm a big fan. Shik-doo. Can you not. not see. I'm in my P.J's. Get the fuck out of my face and go back to America. Well, you don't fucking belong here. Yeah.

And since what you did... Looks like somebody woke up on the wrong side. And since what you did to Kyle? And since what you did to Kyle gas? Yeah. You abandoned. Yo, actually, this motherfucker abandoned Kyle G. If there's one value, if there's one value, I value in Jack's, it's

loyalty. That's right. And Jack, you ain't got it. So let's kick your ass back into that big ass motherfucking thing. You see, Jack black and he's really thinking about this. And I'm morphing in my morphing suit. That was a 40-year, 100-year-long friendship with another fat guy who's okay a guitar.

What are you doing? That's my morpher. He's showing him his favorite DVD. And yeah, it's a DVD. It's a DVD. It's a DVD. Shallow. Yeah. Remember this? This is who you used to be. And then I get in my green suit, my green Power Ranger suit. Pick your colors now.

Because you guys also got the stones, right? White marshmallow. Pink. Checkered. no, not checkered white with little Christmas trees on it. Okay, there we go. And then I do that. I'm in my green suit and then I just punch his beard off his face. Damn,

finally. It's about time someone cleaned you out. Wow. You're disgusting hobo. Honestly, beard off his face. Fucking respect, bro. Yeah. Go back to Largo. You are the real Kung Fu Panda. All right, cool. So you guys go to Akihabara. Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful

Technology everywhere. Robots that, like, do little dances, robots that help you with chores and stuff. I'm dancing with them. Flowbots, flowriders bot, the flow bot. I can pilot my Mac with no neural interface, with no neural interface. And you spit in Flowbot. Yeah. And I can shoot a beam from my laser beam.

And I can shoot a beam. And I can laser hole. Huh? From my laser hole. Okay. From my laser hole. So what are you going to do? The hangar.

You know where the hang. And I can fly around in my Mac soon. So you know where the hangar is. However, it is protected by Yakuza. I walk it. Here's what I do. I'm in my PJs. We've established, can we shake on that I'm in my PJs?

I walk into the hangar. This is absolutely going to, guys, I'm about to put you on game. I'm about to put everyone on game. This is how you get in anywhere. I walk in like this. In my PJs. You must be tired. I think I'm going to bed in there.

Oh, you must live here. Come on in. You go in, you're like, yawks is a gambling. There's like, one of them's like getting beheaded because he was dishonorable.

You're like, eh, you have like a little candle. I'm climbing up, I'm climbing up the ladder on the mat. Roll, roll at least just to see like how far you get. You definitely get in.

Natural one. Okay. Natural one plus one. So it's two. That's not bad. Yeah. So you get, you get all the way to the like hangar elevator.

And they're like, wait a minute. There is. been a bed in here in years. Where do you sleep? Well, there wouldn't be a bed here. It would be a tatami mat. Roll with advantage.

Four. For. Immediate Sepaku. He's just like, he... Actually, in your culture. And it works. Every white weeb's dream. And it works.

He kills himself. You get into the freight elevator. I bring you all the way down to the robot. Okay, I'm in the robot now. You're in the robot. You're in the robot. You're a power ranger. you have a marshmallow.

I would, okay. Okay. Now, you're not a marshmallow. I have one. Sorry, I called you. Although, I would like to put it on my head and convince these guys that I'm marshmallow.

Yo. All right, roll to see you and convince them. I literally am. Who else walks around with a fucking marshmallow on their head? No, that means the, not us. The yaku's a guy. Oh, I thought you were trying to convince them.

No. No, no. Just so they go wild. Oh, okay. Okay, okay. Yeah, they see it. They go, whoa! I'm like.

Yeah. They start, like, giving you so much yen. You have so much yen now, like at least like a trillion. That's what I do. If I saw marshmallow, I have the Dagger flute, like the Green Ranger. Yeah, I think he's robbing. You probably need this, bro. He's masked up, man.

Yeah. Okay. He killed himself. Marshmallow? With the dagger? No, I forgot what he killed himself for a minute. What happened while I was tuned out for a half a second? Went up with the Green Ranger.

Oh. Jason David, John David Frank. Jason David Frank. Yeah. Yeah. We'll talk about it later. This is a me and you conversation for another time. All right.

Okay. So anyway, so. So, so. now the last piece you have to do is go to the Senzoji Temple which is just one other region over or neighborhood over and you go there

you're going to go to the temple I'm going to say no obstacles you have a meck you can fly through you have a marshmallow on your head you're a power ranger you guys can just get there no problem I just have the green the tube thing yeah and Mighty Morpherner they're the tube thing they would just go like oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah like the color would like

fly in the air that's the coolest looking shit And so you get there to the temple and you see a scroll, an ancient scroll of a penguin with a water bottle on his head. Whoa. And it's New Solzilla. And he's the only one who can defeat Solzilla, only with your help. You guys need to summon him. Yeah, I'm going to summon him now. Oh, my God.

Say the magic prayer. Mr. New Sullivan, I completely miss you and I loved you as my entire life. Stop, that's a haiku. Perfect. And so, I don't know if it was, but that's perfect. Mr. Sullivan, I loved you. You have to write, you're going to have to use the paper, I think. For this.

Or my entire life. Well, it fell off at the end. But pretty close. He comes. He's huge. He's, oh, yeah, yeah. You hear it like reverberating throughout Japan. He's doing a little dance.

Sullivan is like, what's going on? And he points at, New Sullivan finally says something different. crap and he goes and he goes to attack him you guys all have to beat up the shit out of Solzilla take me roll roll dice take me as your sword and shield four take me now oh yeah one or two I guess I guess it's a four all right nice what did you get four four four four two two I got a roll for new Sullivan and then I got roll for Sullivan Solvin's all take me as your sword and shield there's all that I will change the world four four four and a two two okay okay I've been doing that this entire day

okay the first the first attack you guys clearly win like your what do you actually describe you turn to a sword and shield I have the I do like the thing where I jump up in the air I do this and then I go into their dinosaur Christair into the dinosaur skateboard trick and then the dinosaur does this and it also does a Christair and then it splits up so once the The dinosaur puts its arms out like this. Fuck, yes.

And then its head is the hilt, and then it goes up. Oh. And then the bottom half of it is the shield. Yes. And then it just goes into, it goes into New Sullivan's hands, and the whole time it's going, dunna,

da, da, dun, da, dun to dun da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, fucking sick, man. I love it. Okay. And I put my marshmallow on his head like a fizz. Whoa. And now you look cool.

Yeah. Ah. Yeah. Yeah. And what do you do? How do you help? My Mac becomes the PJs for New Sullivan. Oh, yeah.

Oh, they wrap around his body. Wait, don't. Hey, wake up, motherfucker. Oh, yeah. And he, uh, Sullivan is just sort of like, hey, what's going out over here? This part of Japan. And then, like, New Sullivan just stabs him in the gut.

Oh, my God. And he tips his marshmallow. Yeah, he does. He goes. And we're all in the command center. And we're like, yes. Yeah. Okay.

Oh, my God. Roll again. Yeah. I'm somehow at this point I'm a head preserved in a jar Oh yeah Well, five minus one is four But it would have been a good role

If I didn't get the questions wrong Yeah, it's still a good role With so many few numbers on the dice You guys have to roll Well, three One plus one is two Three You're lucky, you don't have to add or minus one

It's easy for you It is really easy So complicated for us. So what did you guys get, sorry? Three, three, two, two, four, right? Yeah. Four, okay. And you're going to add them up.

That's right. Add them up, bro. And new solving got a six. So he did well. Then I got a roll for regular. Dice. Dice. Dice.

Whoa. Shit. Regular crap does fight back this time. So, but he doesn't obviously, not intentionally. He gets stabbed again by New Solving this time. When crap fights back. I hate when crap fights back. He tries to climb back in.

Get down. Down. One of the giant, one of the, so what happens is, is that Jack Black, dressed like a banana peel. Sullivan, the frog, slips on him. And he crashes right into you guys and you all take. When did he dress up like a, can we get a, can we cut to a side scene of how he came to be dressed as a banana peel after? He's despondent. He's looking upset.

He just walks into any Japanese clothing store. He doesn't even realize he's dressed in. What's this cool-ass yellow chicken? Oh, yeah. I know pretty good. I eat my burger. What? Can I eat my burger?

You better because you're, you should eat it now. How much do I gain from a full burger? You gain three. And how much from milk fries? But I'm knocked out? Well, how much health do you have? Two.

You're going to gain. Okay, if you... If I eat a full burger that's been in my pocket all day. You're right. It adds one more health. You get six health, but he still took six damage. Oh, but you're knocked out. But then I would have eight.

Oh, do I also take six damage? No, you're at two health right now. Yeah, but then I eat the burger. So you gain four, so you're at six. You take six damage. You're at zero. Do I also take six damage? Yeah, you all take six damage.

Wait, you're both fucking dead. Wait, no, I'm alive. I got one left. Mm-hmm. What about you? I'm chilling. I got three HB. Okay.

You guys can try to, do you guys have any other food left over for him? Wait, wait. I mean, I could feed him. body that got removed. Hey, hey, hey, no, no fucking way. I'm not giving you guys my fucking marshmallow. Might be the only way to heal him. It's a little piece of it.

I got to check with him first. Marshmallow. Is it okay if we use some pieces of your body to heal my two friends that died? I didn't die. They can be whatever pieces you want. Listen, I'm just asking for them. This is not me asking.

Okay. What part? You pick. You're my best friend. I take his face. Okay, cool. Yeah, you guys heal 5HB because he took his face. Okay.

He'll probably grow another one. Yeah, it'll grow. It just takes longer because it's more complex. Years. Yeah, years. It's still a pretty cool fuzz on top of Nusolvin's head. All of you roll again. Please, God, all my ladies are.

Three. Six. There we go. Okay. Okay. Okay. I don't add New Sullivan. Okay.

Not as good this time. Regular Sullivan? No, good for you guys. Yes. So, yeah, regular Sullivan got, regular Sullivan last time got 20. He rolls 2D10s. But this time he got a 5.

So he did really bad. That's amazing. So he, Sullivan's like, was that Jack Black guy stepped on? He's looking around. And while he's doing that, he was doing a spin attack where he's spinning around holding the sword out.

And he just chops. And what about the marshmallow? And the marshmallow is like, yeah! Okay, cool. Wait, he doesn't have a face. How do you do that? And Sullivan's head flies all the way back into the ocean. And somewhere you can see your uncle, your uncle, Ishiro Tanaka.

Uh-huh. And he's saying, who knows, if we keep pouring potions into the water, there might be another Sullivan the frog again this is a warning to all of us I'm gonna fucking kill you unk right now he's shooting up roll dice he caused this

he killed many many people he's the final boss in a way do it oh two okay your uncle dodges the bullets so it's really like no harm no foul

yeah he's like don't worry about it I'm just your Japanese uncle I love you anyway Yeah, I still hate your ass But I guess I can accept that I'll fuck with you So I left a little bit of time at the end of this one

Because I wanted feedback and notes from you guys Would you think? Was it fun That was the boss? Anything you want to change? Yeah, that was fun That was good His boss fight, that was it Oh well he didn't

He wasn't actually the final ball Yeah, I was fucking around He is the problem for sure Yeah, sorry Yeah, I don't know why But I can't let you Because we need more episodes He should at least get the

What do you want to happen to him? He should go to James So we have him go to jail. At the very least, it's like shit on his face. Okay. Well, let's give him an ultimatum. So, like, would you guys... If you don't stop experimenting

and causing the lives of innocence to end? I don't want shit on my face at all. I wasn't even going to say that. How did you know? How did you know? I didn't even say that yet. Because your mother did the same thing to me many years ago.

Wow, I'm understanding the cycle of abuse. And I don't really fight... That's right. Maybe you should think about that. You know, if I didn't get shut on my face. If that's a cycle, though, then that means that we got to abuse you to keep this shit going. Makes sense to me! All right.

So then we beat them blue. Okay. Cool. So would you guys, going forward, would that be a better way to end some of the campaigns? Like if you guys get to... To whip your uncle? No, not my... First of all, I don't have an uncle that I don't like.

I feel very blessed for that. That's amazing. Yeah. Wow. I feel really lucky that well. That's great. That's lovely. Second of all, would you guys want to maybe, like, beat up a villain or shit?

on their face when the campaign's over or like every time is that man I feel like maybe 30 minutes at the end of every campaign that's just devoted to a full shit fest just full shit fest just full poopoo shitting whipping

and also the folks so the folks who are here who don't pay for the $10 tier every episode is exactly like this so if you like what you heard just now you should check out the $10 tier that goes to but we do it with bigger dice we have bigger dice

We have eight of them. We've eight dice. I think that's as many as there are. 2012. The world has ended in 2012 and we're living in a dream. We have six die. Okay. Cameron usually has eight.

Cameron is eight because he uses two extra ones that I don't tell you guys about. Well, he has, well, he had two D6 for... I get two D6s because you often need two. He has seven. That's true. And I get two D10s also in case you need to do a D100. Yeah. So this is just kind of the inner workings of the mind.

Oh, yeah, just for the, do you want to, because you can, I never understood you could just use a D, I guess you, you can just use 4D20 and get 80. And get, you can just not get 100. You could just make up a number. Yeah. And if you don't know, here's what a D&D should be is that they say make up a number and you don't know whether the number is supposed to be high or low. Right. So you end up picking a random one and it's like, because then in your head, you're trying to think, is this. a high one or a low one, and then I'm kind of trying to read your minds.

I could switch between, like, a Dungeon and Dragons advance in fifth edition, so your A-Cs are just kind of randomly bad and randomly good. That could be fun, too. That's a joke for the nerds at home. I think that we should just do more games where we look at each other's eyes and figure out what we're thinking. We want a barbecue. We want sex. And sex. We want a barbecue sex.

We want a barbecue sex from you. From me? And the rest of the campaigns. Yeah. No, I think the next campaign I'm going to try to do everything I can to avoid having sexual stuff in it. Wouldn't it be so incredible to look into your buddy's eyes and be able to tell instantly, just like fully a moment of understanding, a spark between your two brains, just connecting and be like, we want barbecue. We know right now. And wouldn't it be, and wouldn't it be fucking horrible if you looked into your buddy's eyes and you were hoping to make the barbecue connection and then all you found in your friend's eyes was sex?

I would hate that. Lust. Okay, so that, you just facilitated that. That's because that's what happened to you. That's just what happened. No,

it's what happened to you. That's what happened to him. Oh, yeah, that's what happened to him. He should have seen barbecue. Wait a minute. Three, two, one. I want barbecue.

I didn't hear. Okay, let's try. Three, two, one. I want barbecue. Oh, I thought we were, what is the thing? See, he's on a different wavelength right now. I'm on a different wavelength.

You're on some sex shit. You guys are mind-melting perfectly, but I'm in some fucking sex shit. A different wavelength. Dude, why have you always been different than me? I don't know. What is wrong with you? Because he's older.

And him, too. I'm younger. I'm also older. No, but like we're younger and I'm older. Oh, he's taller so he's closer to the sky. Why are my different than you? No, you're the same as me. That's what's up.

He's way closer to the sky. He doesn't have anything on his arm. Yeah. Why don't you have anything on your arm? Who? Cameron. Wait, he's actually the same as me. Now I see.

And now you're odd. I have a scab. Scab a clock somewhere, I guess. Oh, my goodness. Anyway. All right. What do you guys have next? What do you guys do that?

Next is the... Oh, we have the gossip line. Gossip line is coming up next. Oh, that'll be another exciting one. I got to say, man, that Mountain Dew shit gave me some crazy as heart competition. That shit was crazy. Good. That's got sugar and caffeine in it?

It's insane. How the fuck do you do? Children drink that. I couldn't believe I drank that every day. Really? That's like, that felt stronger than any energy drink I've ever had. Yeah, it's one of the most fucked up kinds of things. things that you can give somebody, but...

I don't know if you've seen it. It's literally green. I've seen it. That's crazy. Yeah, it's not just the bottle. It's like green on the inside. No, it's got a green inside. Yeah.

Green on the inside, green on the outside. Green on the inside, green on the outside. That's how I'm trying to be. Ice green on the inside. Well, I want you to stay. What? You want me to stay? I miss you.

I miss you, too. I feel like I haven't seen you guys a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we're going to have an after party out of this for after this for another 12 hours. Yeah? That's awesome. Wow. That'll be the real

podcast. We're doing a bar crawl directly. Doing a bar crawl but a ramen crawl. Yeah, of course, yeah. And then a cigarette crawl. We're going to try every flavor of cigarettes. Then we're just going to be crawling. Yeah, that's right. And then you crawl on. Can you tell that we've been here for eight hours? I can tell, yeah. You were supposed to say nah.

She was saying, no, you guys seem nice. Well, not eight hours, but like, you guys look like me, it's like, it's like two hours maybe. You guys seem like a pretty good stand. You don't have to lie either. You know, if it was eight hours, I thought you guys were going to be rabid. I thought this was going to be like actually tough. We kind of got it done. We kind of got it done. Okay.

You've been like a little, you're like a little bit ornery because you've been doing this for eight hours. But you're totally fine. You're still, I'll be honest. The fight is going out of me. Yeah. It's leaving you? Did you drink the Mountain Dew? I'm dying.

Did you drink the Mountain Dew? You're dying. You're sorry. You're sorry. What if I'm, right now screamed. I'm dying. I'm dying. I saw my eyes go white and a white.

A white smiths came out. What I do in that situation? And we got it on video. You dying on camera? There was in the national news captured on camera's soul weeping man's body. And everyone had to watch

eight days. You prove the existence of the soul because it climbs out of your body on camera from doing your job for eight hours. The podcast got 100,000 new subscribers because everyone was opening this video. This is the one with this guy. Go to seven hours, 59 minutes.

this guy's small leaves his body. I would love to... It is crazy. You do this every day. You work for eight hours straight? Yeah, but it's different... And a lot of it is, because I do a lot of meetings, a lot of it is, like, performance,

but it's not like this, where it's like, you guys have to, like, talk constantly, talk to... Also, like, talk to only each other. Haktua. I was saying before we started... I haven't heard that at work yet. Really?

I was saying before we... No, I feel like... So Hock Tua... I don't think you're allowed to say that at work. No, there's some workplaces where you can go up to like a girl coworker and be like, you see the hawk to a girl because then you get to say that to a girl. But a lot of workplaces, I feel like in the corporate like white collar, you don't. You get to say that.

That's that way. You get to say that to a girl. That's the utility of the hawk to a meme. This person is the only time they're going to talk to a woman. I can talk to a woman and tell her about a blowjob thing and make her put that idea in her head. It's a devilish co-worker meme. I was saying before we started recording this that we basically accidentally invented the concept

of a daytime sleepover. Where we have a full sleepover effect but then we go home and go to sleep. I would say we're getting into those wee hours and the a.m. hours. Who called their mom first? Are you asked questions like, what if I died right now?

What's up with Hock2? Everybody's sitting on their beds and we're supposed to be going to sleep to sleep? My first sleepover ever I called my mom and went home. I called my mom too, yeah, 100%. I was little. I was not that little. Was everyone else big?

No, it was just me at my one friend's house who lived down the street. I was six and it was like two friends who were like C plus level friends and I was like, why is this my first sleepover? I'm freaking out. I was basically addicted to sleepover. I was at a guy who I was friends with

in like kindergarten in first grade and then was never friends with again. Yeah. And he lived like literally probably less than a three minute walk from my house and the middle of his mom calling. My friend used to come over to my house and used to come sleep over at my house

and he'd sleep on the couch and he peed his pants while he was asleep like almost every single time and when he woke up I would clean up his pee for him so that my mom wouldn't find out you're such a good fucking friend

this first sleeper was also the first time I ever saw a GameCube that's huge what was it like when you saw it Crash Bandicoot Yo

Crash Bandicoot was on the GameCube yeah that's what's amazing no no no no no no no no no no no no no I know I'm talking about Billy Bigg Tack and the Power Juju which also became a cartoon

later in life Did it actually because it was Nickelodeon game Yeah. I think that was a PlayStation game, too, though. It was also in game, I don't know. Maybe I'm also, I also, I, you know, I was terrified being away from my home. I could have completely misunderstood what console this was I was seeing. That's a very real possibility. Yeah, he's looking at a GameCube. It's like turning into an Xbox. You're like, I'm so nervous. I'm so, I mean, my memory is definitely, definitely, definitely.

Definitely being affected by my fear. At that first, you know, after this. I need a checkup badly. We should get a doctor in here, ASAP. Yeah. As a joke. Was that the next? Okay. I can go to, by the way. We're doing, uh, if you want to stick around for gossip, you're welcome to. I don't know if you have a time. I was, I told somebody I'd be somewhere at a certain time. That's fine. We'll take his batteries.

I was pissed off about it. It's a good friend of mine. It's not, not, what? It's not some of Miguel. Dumbass. No, it's not, it's not a friend of the show. He does live near here. No, it's somebody who I have to, I don't know.

I see him in the group. Oh, man. Yeah. Well, let's do gossip. I feel like an organ is failing. Speaking of gossip. Speaking of God, Patches is in love. Patches is in love

With his wife You're in love with your wife? Damn! Okay, love you guys. Good luck. With fail. Big fail, yeah. Okay.

Get out of here before you fail again. I love you. Bye, bye, bye. Bye, audience. Who's going to show up and bring us beers? Who's going to show us and bring more beers? Nobody. Yeah, it's over.

Damn, we should have planned ahead. I thought Pierce was going to bring beers, but instead he brought a scary. We can tell Thomas to bring his beers. Okay. Do we, well, we want beers in the last two hours? Yeah, we think that's the only time. I don't want a beer right now.

Oh, we got four hours left, man. Oh, my God. What are you talking about? We need beers now more than ever. No, man. Oh, wait, you should throw this away. Look at that. What are you doing that?

We can get a chair. We can get another chair. Yeah, but we still own that chair. Why would you do that? That's our chair. What is the, why would you? He just broke it. It's not a big deal.

Yeah, this is broken. During this? Wait until after, man. I broke it with my pants, remember? Okay. No, scoop back over there. You're a destroyer. You're the breaker.

Get away from me. Well, I'm not the breaker. I'm the creator of this next slideshow. Now, I was the one who was in charge of corraling all of the voicemails. We're eight hours in. Can we check in with the... What was that noise?

What was that noise? What the hell was that? That scared me. I don't know. what happened? Jubio did something. Are you there? What's up?

There's a ghost in the machine. Did you hear that noise? I just want to check. I want to check in with you, Julio. That was my noise. Okay, nice noise, but I want to see, how are you doing eight hours then? I'm okay.

I had some pizza. We had pizza too. Dude, we're twins. Okay, well, I had it first, so you guys copied me. Oh, okay. So you're sassy now. Okay, so he ate pizza

and got sassy from the grease. Is everybody having fun? I'm having fun. Honestly, I forgot that this has been going all day. Yeah, I kind of my memory has lapsed a little bit where I think that we're an hour in. But that's good. Let's hear about gossip. What were you going to say, Julio?

You're about to say something. I don't know if he was going to say anything. You said, um, we're all going. This is a pre-recorded. Pre-recorded, I like it. All right. Let's do this. Did something eventful happen in the world?

Did a historical event happen? and you don't want to tell us. Bruce Willis died. Nuh. No. Oh. Oh, I forgot Patchers was here that scared the fuck out of me,

you ghost-ass motherfucker. Get out of here. What the hell? Did he really? Man. Scared the fuck out of me. That was a good one, right? That he could have.

He absolutely could have. I would have expected you to say to tell us something when he got back. Dude, now I know he's going to die in the next week because of you. That's how you do shit.

That's how you operate, man. Dude, it's literally going to be like two hours. I don't. He's going to die. We're going to get like a notification on our phones. It says like Rose Willis has died. Stop.

It's going to say that's my thing. It's literally not. How are you talking then? Oh. I'm sorry, man. You thought I was just muting you in the middle of talking. I thought you're being vengeful.

I was making sure there was no on that chair there. Let's get started on this gossip shit All right, so this first call By the way, this is the thing I'm the most excited for in this whole thing I think There was a, I will say A lot of

I'm not trying to be rude Okay, I got, I tried to say the same thing And I think Caleb was right to stop me Yeah, you don't be mean to these people I'm not trying to be mean It's just They're funny Some people left multiple calls

Okay From the same story Oh really? So it was like Well, like updates? No, not updates. Just Google Voice has a limit on how long you can talk. Oh, okay.

So there were some stories that were really good. Some long-winded people. But they were just really long, and I couldn't include them. Gotcha, okay. So I tried to keep a lot of the stories as short and sweet as possible. Sure. But here it is our first call. Let's see.

And these are all, let me preface this one by saying. Go back. a slide. This first one is gossip within our community of fans. Wow. Okay. Wait, why am I feeling devilish all this?

This is, it really is. It's 8 p.m. This one is runoff from Patrick Pedia. We need wine badly. This is a runoff from Patrick Pedia. You could text them and ask him to go to the... Come back with wine. Okay, I'm feeling like a bitch. Patrick Pedia, run off. Here we go. Okay.

Yo, Patrick. Yo, what's up? Hey, my name is Zach. I'm also from Phoenix. I was just listening to the episode, and I heard this other Zach from Phoenix calling, and I just wanted to ask you, you can maybe give me his details, because I think I want to meet up and fight this guy. I like, I think I want to fight this guy personally. I just don't like him. I don't like his attitude. I don't like how he called in with nothing to say. I know that's a kind of a loaded question, but if you could, just give me a call back. So, Zach from Phoenix,

we're not going to give you his info. Listen, I'm all for pulling up on ops, beating the dog shit out of them, putting them in the dirt. We're not facilitating that. We're not facilitating you. We're all three on probation. We cannot be sending people to do hits on people who have the same name as them. And

we've been on probation for 7,900 million, 900 million yeah that many years so don't fuck with us man do you guys mind if I hit that again they said it was a little quiet yeah turn that up

yeah I can only make it so loud I have a maximum volume on here so you gotta turn up on your end yo what's up hey my name is Zachary I'm also from Phoenix I was just listening to the episode and I heard this other Zach from Phoenix call in and I just wanted to ask if

you can maybe give me his details because I think I want to meet up and fight this guy. I like, I think I want to fight this guy as person. I just don't like him. I don't like his attitude. I don't like how he called in with nothing to say. I know that's kind of a loaded question, but if you could,

just give me a call back. Okay, I think I managed to turn it up a little bit. It's a certified beef. It's a certified beef. this is like showing up showing up with the showing up with the craziest beef of all time. You lost audio on Discord on one sec. Okay.

That's fine. We'll stall. We'll stall, yeah. Have you guys ever met someone with your name that you? you didn't like? I don't know. I don't know at all. You've never met...

I feel like I've met a lot of... Chat is saying audio is fucked. Okay. Oh my God, we're eight hours in. Right when we get to the gossip section. Huh. Somebody doesn't want us to get... Wait. Somebody sent something that they regret and are deducing us at this moment.

Yeah, I have that feeling. All right. Well, let's just carry on because it's... This will just be in the episode anyway. Yeah. Is it good now? Well, in the meantime, let's just talk about a hat topic, something that doesn't matter. Let's hit a hat.

Let's hit it something that doesn't matter while maybe the audio isn't working. Audio is fixed. Okay, so I have one to pull out. No, let's do the hat. I already pulled it. Yeah, you already pulled it. All right. Molestation chamber.

So I think I remember somebody suggesting this one. I think I remember that too. Somebody asking this to be put in. Wait, I think it was Pat. What did you? It seems like you had something to say about it. I don't think I had anything to say. About molestation chamber?

No, this is the MDMDestation. Well, I wrote it. You said it. So I know that I wrote molestation chamber because you told me to put it in there. I think what you said specifically was should children be put in the molestation chamber. I think he said that too, actually. I mean, the question is not a bad question. I mean, the answer is no.

The answer is no. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't ask the question. I didn't ask the question. It's better to ask the question and answer no, than just let it fester in the back of our minds. Oh, no, no, no. This is mole station. Chamber. Oh, okay.

I saw mole in Chambers Street Station. Oh, okay. That makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense. You said it out of order, but that's fine. All right. Let's hear the next one. The point is that this guy, you have our covert blessing.

Yeah. You don't have our blessing. you have our kudos you have our promise we'll get this done we'll get this done you have our I don't remember that guy but I'm sure Zach is fine

you have our kudos for inadvertently or not even knowing that we're going to do a gossip section I just remember how Zach other Zach pre-zac said that he was going to kill himself I got a message from him he said he did not kill himself

Oh that's good Yay! Seems like this Zach's going to do it for him He doesn't even have to go himself dangerous enemy yeah all right let's hear the next slide let's hear the next one hey guys um a little background on the GM of a cafe in Massachusetts um I'm relatively new to the job and everyone there is pretty normal for the most part but the owner hired this girl

and she's kind of throwing off just the whole vibe of the place um promise you this is not a joke she comes in dressing like a toddler like her her whole vibe is like sexy baby like children's bjs like rainbows on in anime and shit like that um recently she's hauled out she's called out probably like six times think he's got like stomach issues and stuff and she'll go to the bathroom for like 15 20 minutes just like buck over everybody's day customers waiting recently again not a joke I go into the bathroom small bathroom the trash is right there laying on top is a pretty large sized anime diaper cinnamon roll hello kitty

um i had to tell and uh now the rumor's kind of getting out of control um yeah well this will solve i don't know if you want to give me advice uh the place he's never fired anybody for like in like 10 years uh and yeah what do i what do i do i do with this with the sexy baby girl i Yeah, I don't know about that. That part I'm not sure about, but what I will tell you is you fucked up and stuck your nose where you shouldn't have because you could have fired her.

Yeah. Second you saw the diaper, that's out the window. No chance. You can't fire her now. I mean, or you should have never told anybody about the diaper, cleaned it up, and just said, yeah, we're firing you because you take too many shits or whatever.

You take too many shits and you're fucking up the vibe. Yeah. Okay. Do you know what I'm just realizing here? She's not taking long bathroom breaks to shit. She's shitting on the job and taking the long bathroom breaks to change the diaper. That would be the problem that I would have is a sanitary issue. I also would like to introduce the idea.

Pooping at the front counter, you can't poop in the front of the house. I would like to introduce the idea that this might just... Taking someone's order and being like, and also would you... And you wanted the cafe away! This could just be a baby. This could be a... This guy could have really... You made me fucked up.

way before any of this shit and you hired a literal fucking baby. What? Because the kid was a little bigger than a baby. You're going, oh, this girl dresses like a baby. Sometimes babies are born with hair. Yeah. And now you're calling her sexy. You need to chill, man. Yeah, chill the fuck out. This is on you.

Yeah, that's also, I don't know. I also, you know, I'm not going to say, I don't know exactly what a GM does. Just if you're General manager. Yeah, but I don't know exactly what a general manager does. Generally in charge. Right. But I don't really know if you can be calling your employee second. especially not sexy baby.

Well, and I know it's saying that it's like a, I get the idea. You could have said, but I've never heard of this style. Erotic baby. It's not, doesn't come off great. Yeah. Luckily, nobody's ever going to hear this. Yeah. Yeah, so you're safe.

But in, this is not supposed to be an advice show. It's supposed to be a gossip show. So thank you for the gossip. This is a great dish. This is a great dish. This is a really, really good. I'm not going to like. All right. Let's hear this next one.

Hey, pal. Hi. So my co-worker keeps mixing bleach with our ammonia-based, like, floor cleaner. That's good, gossip. And I was wondering, like, why the floors kept smelling like a swimming pool each time she would mop. And I, like, don't know how to bring it up to other people because, like, everyone really likes her at work and she's really popular and stuff. but yeah she keeps mixing bleach and ammonia and it smells really bad so well and that's that's real um like it's happening genuinely like each time she's mopping

she's just putting bleach in there so uh yeah thanks any advice appreciated well i would say that if you're worried about making her unpopular i wouldn't worry about that because there's nothing more popular than punk rock right now and what's more punk rock than creating a deadly guest to try and kill your co-workers? Absolutely. I would say that she's raging against something. Right. The floor and you.

Rage against the floor. It's rage against the floor. Yeah, she's trying to damage those floors. She's trying to damage your lungs. Some of those who mop floors is. Here's what you do. If you really want to play the long game, wait for this. You need to be like such a medium employee that it's unreal. There's no possible way that you could ever get promoted for any reason. You need to set her up for success in

as many situations as possible. Watch her climb the corporate ladder until she's at the very, very top, and then you bring it up and you sue her. Yeah. Yeah. That's what you should do. For damage to nose. Yes, that's what you should do. For damage to know, over $100,000 in nose damage. I'm suing you for 100 inches of nose lining. Yep. So pay up. That's what you're going to need to do. I have to pay out the nose for this lawsuit. Because right now, especially if she's at the same level as you or a little below you. The reality is most people... You have nothing to gain. You have nothing to gain. Either she gets fired. Hold on to

all information until it benefits you. And I want you to be in there, like, checking every single tile on the ground to make sure it's clean, taking deep breaths in, and then going to the doctor at least once every couple weeks. You can get a good workers comp off this. That's what I'm saying. You can get a fat payout. Once it's

under, once it's the fault of the people at the top, the company has to pay out now. It's not personal damages. This is a small claims court thing at that at this point. But in a little bit, this is going to be a class action lawsuit. You're going to be leading it. I also want to say, great dish. This is a

thing that I feel like I would hear when twirling the telephone cord on my finger. Absolutely. No fucking way. With a fuzzy phone. We should have got a fucking fuzzy phone. We should have got a fucking fuzzy phone. Okay. Next slide. That's okay. Whoa, blah. Gossip line. My name's Kelly.

There's some real gossip going on at this department store that I work at. There's this guy who's like a million years old, and he pushes carts around, and he's a little touched by God, and he just ended up going to the San Francisco Pride Parade without any clothes on, and a bunch of guys on Twitter took videos of him, and now everyone's calling him some kind of bad name

online and I don't think he knows yet um thanks gossip lines okay that these keep getting better

they're really good they're really good kudos to you for that story that's amazing also do you mean by San Francisco Pride parade do you mean the full Street Fair where it's like the sectioned off like there's like the like old people sitting in tubs of piss like yeah that's got to be what it means right yeah i'm sure yeah because that's

that is so funny that's so that's like at that age i guess you're free you don't know yeah yeah that's the thing you could tell this guy about all these people who are being mean to him online he's not gonna give a fuck he already showed his asshole on the street he was completely new He doesn't go fuck when anybody says that's having sex in public there. Back in like the 1900s, if you were a million years old and you showed your ass on the street, you'd be on the headline of the newspaper. Exactly. You'd sit with an unfrolet newspaper. Oh.

Yeah, exactly. Nowadays, it all hits Twitter. Newspaper is what? Nothing. They don't write about anything. You open it up as Laura Mipsum nowadays. They can't think of shit. It's done.

It's like my slideshow, man. Yeah. I think that, yeah, you don't need to tell this guy because if you told him he would, literally just say is that it and start stacking carts again. Yeah. Okay. And by the way, if you think that this is over, he's going to do this shit next year as well because I know

for a fact he had an amazing time. Yeah. Yeah, of course. He got to show his balls. He did this this year. Now he's Twitter famous. Yeah. He's going to go back next year. There's going to be people doing drag of him. Yes, absolutely. Oh, here's the one million year old nude man. I'm going to be there in a latex body suit

that is perfectly his proportions. Yeah. And I'm going to be twining, doing a twin makeout with him. Yeah. It's going to be awesome. Yeah. So I would say in terms of gossip, there's a 10 out of 10, but then in terms of advice, none

is necessary. I'm going to go to that Pride parade and I'm going to chain myself to a chair. With all my clothes on and everything, I look completely normal and it's just a normal chair. Can you go and I chain myself up to it and I go, oh, I'm bad. I want to go there and bob for apples. And I show up, I show up waddling right in my chair

and I'm looking around and everyone's wearing leather their dicks around I'm like whoa what the heck I thought I was going hard

this is just a do whatever you want in place I'm just a drop in the bucket I want to go there and do the Pacquee one chip challenge I thought I was going to be

number one yeah do the one chip challenge and start walking around seeing once it gets something with you yeah next one

hey this is Billy hey Billy I heard once on like a podcast that David Burns that has like a shit fetish and specifically he likes to

like lay under a glass table while someone shits on it and like watch that happen so it makes movies I feel like more people should be talking about this he has a shit finish thank you that is the number one phrase we like to hear

I feel like more people should be talking about this that is the purpose of this line yeah that would be all talk about everyone's business let's get our nose in there The quote under the gossip. Do you think he was under the table and the big suit? Here's a question. I have a really, really good question.

Oh my God, there's poop on top of me. Who is David Byrne? Lead singer of Talking Heads. And Talking Heads is the band with the weird picture. And that's all they ever did. Yeah, what's his shit fetish? Putting out bad music. Putting out shit?

Yeah. Yeah, I've heard it all. I've heard it all. What is there to say about this? Celebrities, I would say that this, if you want to become a celebrity, which is this guy celebrity, is really famous? Really famous.

No, like halfway. Halfway, really famous. He's famous around here. Around these parts. Around these parts. Around these parts. Right here. David Byrne,

round these parts. He's quite famous. I reckon I heard the name. I once or twice. But I can't say I heard nothing about this shit in business. Why? That's news to me, but Well, what are the blazes is that?

He's played damn near every Opry house. Everybody got their devil. From Flushing to Crown Heights. I can't say I'm too, can't say I'm too mad at the fellow. Hey, what you do? After all, I like fucking my horse.

Brooklyn, New York. Well, I want to walk like a cowboy. That guy's dressed like Skrill X. Well, another long day in Brooklyn, New York. That's his trip, and I'm on mine. God's got plans for each and every one of them. Man's got to walk a mile on another man's boots. We can truly understand.

I would say that as far as celebrities go, that's about entry level. If the glass table makes it fine. Exactly, yeah. There's people out there who are not celebrities, who are just normal Joe. who get shitted on on their chest. Disgusting shoots.

If you're so rich, he's got a glass table. You're rich, you're famous, you don't even let it touch you. You just watch it like, again, like a movie.

Honestly, you're a pussy. Take the table away. Get that table out of there. Take the shit. I mean, it's three, four logs to the face.

That's just a jet. For real. For real. Thank you, Wiz Khalifa. Just for. Wait, I felt I've got a lot of these.

I think we've got to go. That's fine. We can always cut into the next one too. I'm, gossip I'm excited about it. Yeah, gossip is massive for me. Hey, guys. So someone that I know to make a long story short is dating their cousin.

They're not cousins by blood. It's basically a step-cous situation. It's fine. Like through marriage or whatnot. But they were essentially raised together as cousins, you know, Thanksgiving kids' table and whatnot, but are now as young adults romantically involved. So, again, not blood-related, but step-cous dating. Bye-bye.

I really like that sound out. How old is young adults? Yeah. Because to me, you know, that's... Well, but does that matter that much? Yeah, is that 21 or is that 17? It does matter to me. Like, if they're in high school, is that...

Is that worse or is it better? I don't know if it's worse or better, but it matters to me. I think it's worse if they're young adults, like, 23. If they're younger, they don't know any. better. Yeah. Someone has to be like, hey, I don't have, technically cousins. It's also kind of like, it's kind of cool. To be an adult, to be like

25 years old and be like, fuck it, fuck it, I'm fucking my cousin. It's time. Fuck it, fucking my cousin. I've lived 25 years. I've experienced what life has to offer so far. I'm a quarter way to a century. Yeah. Let it rip. Live fast. Die young. Oh, hell, let a rip. Let hell.

Might as well, savor the forbidden fruit. Well, fucking your cousin. Cousin, sorry about that. That's normal. I can't say we're related by blood. That's normal around these parks. I'm happy to call you my cousin, Ridgewood, New York.

I think that it's, you, you got one family. That's nice. The in-laws are your in-law. The in-laws are your laws. The laws. And by the way, you're not

breaking any laws. No. So let her rip. Fuck that cousin. Well, I don't even know if they're fucking, but smooch owner. Smooch, your cousin. Next slide.

Hi, my name is Ben, and this is not so much gossip as it is a confession. It's been, for something I've been weighing on my soul for about 15 years now. So when I was about seven or eight, I was at my friend's house, and I really needed to poop. I was, you know, squeezing my cheeks really hard. hard, really, you know, fighting, fighting for my life there. Sound like you are right now. You sound like your climbing up to stay here. Came out, like it was about the size of a marble.

It was a rough salad with a diamond. You know, rolled right out of my pant leg and right onto his floor. I didn't know what to do it. Is this audio? get messed up. It's thrown into a panic because you were convinced it

Okay, just stop it here because I remember this story. So what happened was Oh shit. So what happened was Ben shit his pants. It rolled down his pant leg.

A little marble of shit. A little marble of shit rolled down his pant leg at his friend's house. His friend's mom saw the on the ground he didn't confess she thought that they had

raccoons in the house they were calling exterminators and stuff man this guy has kept this a secret

for 15 years and he revealed it to us thank you for feeling able to reveal this to us know that you said that this

was not gossip it is now Ben this is gossip Ben this would thank you so much for sending this to us. Thank you so much for confessing it to us. This is an amazing feeling to get confessed to. This is I should become a priest. I'm so glad you told us this.

You should be a priest. You get to hear this kind of shit all day. People coming in, yeah, shit on the floor. A priest doesn't be the best job ever for a dirty dish like you and me. Yeah, ever, when you're a priest and you're doing confession, you're just, it's all, it's beautiful. It's the best job you can possibly do. You're just basically praying every day. You don't roll the snake eyes as someone comes in and goes, father, Father, I sin. Yeah.

Exactly. That's scary. Yeah, that's scary. But then everyone knows is like, once a year. Yeah. But the rest of the time

it's great. And you go, okay. All right, freak. You're forgiven. Later. Bye-bye. Next one.

A hundred laps. Hey, podcast about this guys. Hi. John. I take me. But I've recently been talking to this girl

and she has really good. movie takes and really good suggestions, but about two years ago, I was at a party and there was this big mystery because someone put a used tampon and a drink and left it and then left. And they were pretty sure that it was her. And that was confirmed by the fact that she did it again at a restaurant that she works at leaving a tampon in a drink and leaving the drink somewhere

and that's the tea I don't know if I can really see myself getting close if someone who does that but yeah she's got a really good movie take so anyway that's the tea see you guys love the show

and you say two years I love that so much though just like I don't know if I could see myself get close to her because she pulled a full used tampon out of her pussy and threw it into a cup I think I can guess what I love movies Jackass 1, Jackass 2, Jackass 3

This girl is a prankster Okay, she likes dirty grandpa Or bad grandpa Loki. She likes Loki, the prankster god of the world. She likes the dudesons She loves the dude she likes Nitro The doo-Doo files. So she loves the doo-doo files, obviously.

She is, and it sounds like she's got a little bit of sex in the city in there as well. Yeah, and maybe some girls. That's a full carry move. You want somebody who's going to act crazy and bring your name into disrepute. Yeah. And I bet this hell gives the best head in the world if she's doing all that. So you got to stay with her because we told you two.

Next slide. Hey, I'm Theo, and this is real gossip in my life. I swear this another joke. I've been lying to this little lady for about a year and a half now, and I don't know how to stop because she's the sweetest thing, but she is convinced that I am law school. And I am not in law school. I told her I wanted to go to law school. Uh, and then I guess she must remember because she introduced me to her friends as who's in law school, you know, Theo, who's in law school. And all these people could ask me questions about law school. And I didn't know what to do. Um,

so I just kind of went along with it because I couldn't like let down this cadre of old people. So now there's like all these elderly people in my city who like, like, like, wish me luck on, like, law school exams and shit. And I keep in, oh, man, it sucked. But I've been stuck in this for about a year and a half and all because I didn't want to let her down. She just looked so hopeful and, like, excited for me. Is it fucked?

Maybe it is anyway. Yeah. Okay. So if you are not in law school, you should be because you could be an amazing, fast-talking Southern Law. Yeah. Because slow down their part of it. Theo, Theo, I'm going to say, thank God you were this fast.

There are some really slow talkers that had amazing stories, but I couldn't put them in because we'd be here forever. And you had a great story, too. It was a great story. We've all been in a situation like this, and the truth is that you have it the worst out of anybody because yours has an end date, after which you become immensely rich.

Yes. You set yourself a real, I'm taking everybody out to dinner, everybody else can pretend whatever we can all be fired yeah oh that's my hobby yours has a point where there is a your lifestyle should change where you will be you're supposed to be living large which means that you have to invent some reason why you got kicked out of law school so now you've actually put yourself into the negatives yeah yeah because you got kicked out you threw away an opportunity you got kicked out is you have to do is you have to say you can even get you can even if you don't want to have the let down of I fail the test yeah I'm smart enough look into whatever

is the lowest level of disbarment. Yeah, what's the least bad thing you can do to get disbarred? And day one, you're like, I'm a lawyer. Next day. Oh, no, I was immediately disbarred. Yeah, I drank a soda in court. Yeah. You didn't say what, I hope you didn't say what type of law, right?

Because you could just be like, oh, I'm in. Molecule law. Yeah, molecular law. Or like, maybe. We don't get a lot of cases. It's really slow. And when we do, we make like a couple cents. Yeah.

I'm in symbol law. I'm in really, really small stuff. I'm really into symbol law or actually, mostly pertaining to laws about shot glasses. You could, you could be like, yeah, I'm going to be working pro bono cases for the foreseeable future. And I probably won't be getting that big of a paycheck and just ride it out until she dies. There you go. Yeah. She's old.

Just let her die. See, I've never like. I got held back a year. And last. Just keep doing that until she passes. Yeah. Yeah. But that's the thing, though, there's other old people.

Yeah. There's old people that also know. So once she's gone, there's other people. The rumor has been spread. This is kind of a meta-gossip. We've already seen the gossip. Okay, you know what? You got to do, Theo?

I don't know where you live. You got to go in a town square. Mm-hmm. And you got to just, while everyone's going, you know, from like the sandwich board and bell. The bell or whatever, while everyone's going from the market to home. or their job to their other home that's this way. You're just going to go, listen, I got something to say.

Uh-huh. I'm not actually in law school. I said I wanted to go, but I didn't make the cut. Wow. And be honest. Yeah. Have you seen Town Square only? But depending on what your actual job is, don't be so honest.

Don't because, you know, if you're... I clean up shit at the school. I'm a dumb farmer. Don't say that. I'd like you to walk your ass down to Broadway and watch a little musical called Dear Evan Hanson. Thank you.

And figure out the power of lies and how they can tear apart families. And look at Deer Evan Hanson. Look at Deer Evan Hanson. Look at Deer Evan Hanson as an example of what not to do, right? Because this bastard messes up in a major... He messes up immediately.

Take what he did. And go to the fucking movement. Scratch it. And here's another thing you should do, honestly, you should go to the police. and you should confess. And report this old woman for lying on your ass.

She's the one who lied. You can remember that. She is also the one that lie. She's been lying to people. She's been lying to everyone. This old lady's been lying to everyone about me. This old woman is lying. It's defamation.

Yeah. Yeah, you can sue. Slander. Sue her for defamation. That's a good idea. All right. Next one. Hey, podcast about list.

I've got a friend. We can just call him Jonathan Lewis. Um, he recently got back from the dentist, and he revealed to a close circle of friends that he has 17 cavities. Oh my God. He won't brush his teeth and he blames it on his ADHD. I wanted you guys to just kind of weigh in on this situation. This one's all you think. Yeah.

Thanks. I think that, um, I was going to censor out the name and forgot. I think I actually forgot to censor out the name. the name. I was doing a lot of work. I hope that that's a fake name like an Allen Smithy or something. I would say that is a complete they are the person who volunteered the name. They are the person that volunteered the name. If there's any party party, I didn't have to accept it. You were not a part of it. I will say as somebody who's had quite a few cavities and a lot of teeth replaced with crows. It sounds like he's

talking about you. No, it's not me. I don't have. See my problem is with the dentist is I I mean, I have like maybe, I think I had like four or five cavities, but then everything else is chipped because I have bruxism. 17 cavities. Do you even have 17 fucking teeth in your face? You have 38? Is that true? I think it's 32.

I think it's 32. I have 38. That's a, that's a big of, well, on a ratio basis, you're doing all right then. I'm doing better, yeah. You have extra teeth. Yeah, way more. There's nothing to be done for this guy. All you can do is spread this rumor as viciously as you possibly.

Yeah. Literally tell everybody there's no reason to keep this a secret. Yeah. I agree. Yeah nasty. I agree. I just think maybe brush your teeth more. Of course you're siding with the ADHD idiot who can't brush his teeth. I think he just needs to get a, you need to look at tooth tunes. I know that you're. That's smart. Tooth tunes won. Put your favorite thing. But I know as a person with ADHD. Farmer in the Dell. Farmer in the dell. You have to look at brushing your teeth as like maybe some kind of a game. I do that, actually. I have a, here's my method to brush my teeth. Oh, the black monster in my mouth and I have to brush them away. One, two, three, four, one, two, three, four,

one, two, three, four, one, two, three, four. Rotate. One, two, three, four. You'd brush in circles. You're supposed to brush in circles. I don't brush in circles. I go back to back to back. I'm dropping a game on you, bro.

Thank you for that. So when you go home tonight, try that out. But what if you're going to clean circles? It's going to hurt. You're supposed to brush on your gums as well. You know that? Well, if you don't know circles, I don't know, man. That's all I'm going to say.

I was not trying to. I was literally homeschooled and you're being a mean. Did they do this at your school where they brought in, they would have a fluoride program where they would take, they would bring in things of fluoride and then you, after the Pledge of Allegiance, you would do a thing of fluoride, keep your teeth healthy. Really? No.

They did that at my school. That's crazy. You must have been one of them candiest stools. You went to the mind control school. I think it was truly pineal gland calcifying. I think it is. too. Absolutely. At that young when I like heard about like the fluoride

conspiracy. I have florid at the dentist a lot. When I heard about like fluoride calcifying the pineal gland or whatever I was like when I heard that I was like your shit's a rock. Oh my god, right. The fucking oh right the most important gland. They put the most important gland one and then two they were making me do fluoride

every day when I was like until I was seven. Yeah that that is like and brushing your teeth is bad too. Yeah. Yeah you shouldn't brush your teeth. Yep. Yeah, it's amazing. Next slide. Who's next?

Thank you, Candy Man. And they make you eat your vegetables. Hi, guys. My name's Daniel. Recently, my dad has been, like, befriending the crows in his backyard. I think he's just bored. But every time I go out there, they just yell at me. He goes out there, and it's fine.

They just kind of wait for him. But, like, I go out there and they immediately start yelling like I did something. And I don't know what it is I could have done. I don't know It's kind of gossip about me If you guys think it paints me in a bad light Maybe don't include this But yeah

If you could like if either any of you know They want food It's so obvious they want food They want food or a shiny object You know I'm gonna disagree here I'm gonna say if animals hate you That's not a good sign You are possessed

You gotta look inward to find out what's going on You have a demonic. Especially crows. Crows are one of the most vile creatures God ever laid on the sand. They're actually incredibly intelligent. They literally look scary for movies. The devil. And the Satanist and a necromancer.

Holy fucking shit. Holy God Almighty, that's crazy. You scared the shit out of it. No. For real, though, if you want to have the same kind of respect, you've got to show that respect. You got to walk out there. And your dad might be bringing breadcrumbs, but you got to be bringing Oreos and slices of turkey. Filet mignon.

Not turkey. That's also. a bird. That's a bird, too. Pork. I'm really sorry. Slices. Pork.

Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Slops. Oh, lamb chops. Jerk lamb chops. Great.

Now I'm hungry. This is a fucking grossy at roadkill. I have an amazing news for you in 45 minutes. Did you text Thomas to bring beer? Oh, no. I can text them right now. All right.

All right. Sorry. I didn't say anything. Next slide. Next slide. Okay. This one is not playing. Can you try click.

on it on the button oh yeah i think i might have not like thank you uh hey what's up uh it's chris um hi to juvio caleb and uh patrick um so okay uh can we it turns out my therapist has been cheating on her boyfriend and i don't think it's normal for her to tell me that type of thing but yeah um should i don't know if it's advice but should i tell her boyfriend or just let it go um because i know uh there's like doctor patient confidentiality but i don't think that goes both ways so yeah it'd be probably be the right thing to do that's all okay Well, so maybe what I'm thinking is that maybe the reason that your therapist had told you this information is maybe you just have kind of like a negative energy. Yeah.

That you just like seemed like a disgusting person. Well, you know, probably part of it is that he probably has memory loss and the therapist knows this and part of what they've been working through. And because he clearly forgot that Cameron was going to be listening to this because by the way, you did not address cameras. You did not address it. You literally did not address camera. literally did not even say hello. So you lost me at that exact instant. And you're off the island.

And you're off the island. You're gone. You're done. I never want to talk to you again. Also, can I say that in a therapy situation, your therapist says something like that? You need to say that's fucked up.

Yeah. Don't say that to me. If you are in the failways. If you got enough nuts to hunt down her boyfriend, but you don't have enough nuts to tell this, this therapist. That's your therapist. You are being wrong.

confront him? Yeah, and by the way, you don't have enough nuts to confront camera because you obviously ignored him. You got to fess up to what you're doing.

Tell him everything that you tell your therapist. You need a new therapist. The real gossip is that somebody completely this guy, I don't remember his name, Chris,

I just remember. Chris doesn't even know Cameron. Did you guys hear? Chris doesn't know Cameron. How embarrassing is that? He's literally one of the best parts of the show. That is an insane thing for a therapist to say.

Your therapist is trying to do something. Your therapist is literally a Hannibal Lecter style. And I don't necessarily mean that he or she, I don't remember. Oh, she, you said, I think. Is she old? Annabelle Lector. Well, I'm not even saying that she is a Canabelle, but just that she has something going on under the surface.

There's a dark undercurrent here that you need to stay away from. She's a man eater. And you know what that means? She'll chew you up. She was trying for real. Congrats on this. She was trying to get laid with you. Yeah.

And you managed. to get out of it by just being shy and not even being able to say a word to her own. You were too shy. I'm curious, you can call back and leave it and Patrick will hear at some point. I want to know, I want you to know, or I want to know what you,

exactly what you said in the moment. How did you react? Because I'm trying to imagine how this moment to moment situation went down. Because was there a whole conversation left after that where you're just like, oh, because that's what I imagine. You say, holy crap. I'm going to be honest, it probably wouldn't be much better.

Holy cow. way. I hope the conversation didn't start like... Especially she's helping me with like my mom's sick and I'm going to therapy. I'm not going to be like, and you should tell your boyfriend. I think I would say, oh, hmm, and then I think maybe 10 or 15 minutes later, I would say, by the way, I didn't like that you told me that. That's smart. Yeah. I think that I hope that this is not how the conversation started. I hope he wasn't like, yeah, I've been cheating. I like girls who cheat. It don't matter. I've been cheating my boyfriend.

He doesn't have a boyfriend. She's just so into you. Bro, congrats on that. Yeah. And this is the final call. Really? Oh, we did kind of speed through them. Well, I mean, we can pull up. That's okay. We can gossip our own gosses.

We can pull up the voicemail. No, that's a bad idea. Well, I know which calls are good. No. We're listening to this and then we'll do our own gossip. Okay. Hi, my name is Jesse. I had a deep memory reemerge of a date.

I went on a while ago. Near the end of the date, she had this. long cylindrical necklace and it reminded me of a necklace I had seen that was like a like a self-vibrator and so I asked if that was the necklace and she said no it was the ashes of her brother who had been murdered by Mesa police department so I didn't get a second date all right Jesse was one of the last calls Jesse was one of the last calls Jesse was one of the last call that we received, the first time I heard this,

fell out of the chair. I was like, that is so hard. That is so fucking that, dude. Just the fucking, the absolute

worst thing. Oh, Jesse, my man. That could ever happen on a first date. Dude. Fuck me, that is crazy.

I don't even know if that is gossip. No, that's not gossip. That just might be, I'm glad that there's been so many confessions on the line. I'm sorry that that had to reemerge from you. I wish for your sake

that that stayed buried. I can't believe that it didn't stay buried. Dude. Yeah. Like how many other things did you have to unburied to get to that? Like that has got to be so deep because I would immediately delete that memory. Think about the steps in this. Think about the steps

in this. One, he sees a necklace and looks at her and says oh, is that a stealth vibrator? Yeah. Which is like, oh, are you carrying a sex toy right now? No, it's my 10 brother's ashes. That'll teach you to ever be bold again. Yeah, definitely.

I'm wondering, too, what triggered this to reemerge? Like, maybe somebody said the sentence, like, I'm going to jack off with my brother's ashes or something. They're watching a movie. I actually, oh, wait a minute. Funny story. That's crazy. That happened to me. Oh, God.

Yeah, that's nuts. That is so funny, man. Yes, Christ. all right we'll gossip some more but i gotta go pee and get some water that's fine man so i don't have any fucking gossip dude who's your crush dude it's 849 it's my girlfriend's my crush let's get let's get into it man yeah um i know just what we can gossip about oh my god this is going to bring up a gossiping memory for me okay tell me if this makes uh

A memory reemerge for you. The devil. Dude. I was so, I mean, I said it earlier, but I was so. You were scared of the devil. I was scared of God and the devil so bad when I was a kid. I never gave a fuck. I, well, I mean, I grew up, like, Irish Catholic.

So it was like, the fear of God was just so, like, like, I thought that, uh, my mom would joke around when I was a kid and say, like, God's punishing you like if something happened like that Yeah And I thought Oh I was like Well he's like

Almighty and he's like The Lord So that means That she knows That he's punishing me For that Uh huh And it was fully like

The biggest fear in my life Was God Until I was like 10 years old I was I was always like Fuck that pussy Yeah I wish I was I don't even fucking care

I didn't want to go to hell And I knew that God was watching me I would be so awesome in hell I do straight up when I learned that Santa wasn't real. That's when I stopped believing in God. Because I thought God and Santa were similar entities.

And I thought, well, if God can see everything and so can Santa. Yeah, they are similar. That means that they're brothers. When I was in fourth grade, my friend who was in third grade told me he was like, and at this point, obviously, I already very much knew that Santa wasn't real. Yeah. And this kid who was in third grade told me like, he was like, hey, did you know that, uh, he was like, Santa isn't real. And I was like, yeah.

And he was like, you know who I actually bring, it's the presence? And I was like, yeah. And he was like, yeah, I do too. It's Jesus Christ. And he had somehow gotten to the face where he didn't think Santa was real anymore, but somehow he thought that Jesus was the one who brought the presence. And then I remember going home to my parents and being like, did you know that some people believe that Jesus leaves the presence?

And my parents were like, I don't think that's true. I don't think anybody, I don't think anybody, I don't think anybody believes that. And I was like, oh, yeah, I had a one kid who believes that. There's one kid at my school who definitely believes that. It would be nice to wean people off the believing in Santa and have steps of stuff that's like, that's what my parents tried to do. More and more different people.

My parents tried to do that. When I was in third grade, my friend Justin told me. Okay, Santa's not real, but the reindeer are and the elves are. That's basically so. Okay, so you got me. The elves aren't real, but I swear to God, the reindeer are flying around. When I was. Year by year.

When I was eight, I would like... We got some about Santa. Yeah. When I was like eight years old, my mom tried to tell me that Santa truly only brings three presents, but that she buys all the rest. I got some gossip about Santa, man. Let's hear that. Hey, motherfucker, can you take more than one bite of the cookie?

Come on, you always wasting all these cookies, man. I'm gonna, I'm gonna eat that shit. You got Santa germs. Yeah, he's all... You probably have some North Pole disease. I know he got that milky saliva. I'm scared. I'm scared.

I'm always scared of it. Imagine that I get some North, North Pole amoeba that gets through his saliva. He melts it in the ice, the thing. And I don't know if you're letting the reindeer help you polish off these cookies. You know, you got a lot of cookies

to eat. Yeah. And also, it's got to be kind of weird eating a cookie of your own head. You gave him, that's fucked up. Dude, that's twisted. Remember earlier I was talking about giving that crow the turkey? Yeah, that's the kind of shit I do. I'm fucking crazy. I feed

similar things to different things. I'm crazy. I feed similar things to things. I'm the crazy one of the group. I feed similar things to the things that look like the things I'm feeding it to. So I'm pretty odd. I just fed a carrot to a guy in a carrot costume. I just fed a carrot to a line. I just fed a carrot to a snake.

I fed a line to a snake. Feeding a carrot to a snake. I bet you fucking hate this. I'm twisted. It literally looks like it could be your brother, man. You're so stupid snake. You're so fucking disgusting eating a carrot like that. And I'm so evil for making you do that.

All right. What other gossip you got, man? I hear that I know a guy who can do the most amazing paper airplanes of all time. Really? Who is it? I'm wondering. So I think I'm seeing that someone is rushing it and not really creasing their folds. No, it's actually a very fast paper airplane maker. Watch this fly. It was actually pretty good. Damn, right at the camera. It was actually pretty good. That was good meant that the gossip was true. The gossip, the tea was spilled.

So when it comes a gossip, and we are gossipers. We love dish. We love dish. We love dishing. You know, there's literally nothing I love more in the world. than gossip. I can I can 100% truthfully say that. I think I'm aging out of it a little bit unfortunately. I think I'm getting to the point where I'm starting to realize that I'm getting to the point that I think you're supposed

to get to when you're like three or four when you realize there's stuff outside of your own head. Yeah. And so now I'm realizing that probably it's not that nice to gossip about people. No, it's not nice to gossip about people at all. It is fun. There's nothing wrong with it if you have a gossip circle and you're not creating any

that comes in the world. We're not We're not like, it's bad form to gossip if you're like a chaos magician. Yeah. And you're able to shape reality. Yeah. But the truth is, if you got your little tight gossip circle and you say crazy things. But don't you think, so even if you gossip about somebody that you like, or just don't know that much about, you think it makes you subconsciously dislike them because you're like,

you're kind of, you're kind of hammering this into your head where you're like, oh. It makes you like them more. You think so? Because you're like, damn, they're crazy. I guess I just want to give crazy I want to give love a chance I never am ready for love to have a chance with me when we do the dice rolls worse one yet yeah I think I'm probably done for the night unless I really need it you know a little bit I went in there I'm starting to flag a little bit but I really I'm not in there and I started filling up my water bottle and then I kind of forgot I was and I started pissing and then I my water bottle started filling over oh yeah I went oh fuck and I'm then I'm holding to you know when you hold it

your pee, it didn't feel very good. I had to do that for a minute. My pee hurt. All types of different organs in my stomach have been jumping around jumping rope. I love jumping. Water update. The water has become warm out of the sink.

Yeah. What? It's not supposed to. That's what I said to the water. We're not supposed to get hot water here. We specifically don't pay for hot water. You shouldn't be warm. We need to fucking email the city and say,

we are getting something we're not paying for. I want to fucking landlord came by. I want to reverse refund. I want to pay for it. I want to pay right now. I forgot the landlord. Please, let me pay. Please.

Yeah, that was weird. That's crazy. There's a 12, 12 hours. No, I don't, I'm at a point right now where all this is blended together all day. And there's just, we're nine hours in. We're nine hours in. That's crazy. Video evidence.

I feel pretty good. Video evidence of all of this stuff happening. I don't remember it. Yeah. I remember everything. I don't remember a single thing that we fucking did today. And I think it's because of the smelling salts. I do feel like I hit a hard reset.

that the paper clip is going into my brain in a little hole every single time. The champagne and the pizza both powered me up. And I'm going to need another type of that. Do you guys remember the gist? How awesome was the gist? The gist was great. Y'all were hating on the gist, but it was good.

I was so young. I was so young back then. You guys were saying I showed a picture of a dead baby elephant, maybe. Yeah, I forgot that you did that. Maybe, but it was funny. Yeah, it was funny as funny as fuck. You know what else is funny.

That baby cried for five hours. Maybe elephant cried for five hours Isn't that a saying When Elephants cry That's when pigs fly You're thinking of a different idiom I think you're right What does it mean

Does it never happen? We clearly see it happen I'm thinking of crocodile tears Yeah You're thinking of Prince When Elephants cry Will be an incredible name for an album Yeah

Let's make it This is what it sounds like When elephants cry That's really good Yeah the you the picture of you as the Arcturian blue with the... When elephants cry right here.

You turn the AC back on. It's fucking cold in here, bro. It is cold in here. I don't want you... I actually don't want you to turn it back on. Okay, Mr. two shirts. The boy got two shirts. All right, you guys want to start

into the next world? Yeah, I'm fine with that. The way I'm thinking about this is that it's Super Mario Galaxy and we're hopping from planet to planet. It does feel like that way. And speaking of Santa, which you were speaking about. Well, well, well,

it's like we've almost had a perfect transition for every single one of these things. Isn't that crazy? You have crazy line. You forgot that we're, I have a line. You have crazy line. I know. What is that? I tell you about your line constantly. Is that my hat? I've had it all day. He's got a dent. Go up to that camera

and show off your dent. Okay, Harvey. Get up, man. I think it's hardly a dent. So I'm just going to go back on. We'll ignore the line and let's continue our lives. Yeah. We've got a big ass hat now. We want to do the first. We're doing Mystic Investigations, by the way.

Do you have one, Caleb? Yeah, I got one. Okay. I'll go last because I think I have the most information. I think you should go second to last, and then if you run all the way through, we can skip mine. Okay.

Okay. I got one. Mine is, you know, maybe I shouldn't go first because of, eh, it's fine. Mine is a little bit, missing investigations. We've seen the side of it that is the paranormal. We've seen the spiritual.

But I saw some newer posts that they've made, I think, last year. that are um they have a section i didn't screenshot but they have a section on their website now that just says hollywood wow really yeah so they have one that says hollywood had two posts in it and uh i'm gonna go through one of them that leads into another thing this is why wasn't lyell in breaking bad yes you know what i can tell you something as a mystic investigation super fan uh i didn't know there was an article about this but i remember that the mystic Investigation's Twitter account did tweet this question. Yeah. I thought, like, of course, when you've conquered

every aspect of paranormal and spiritual phenomena, why would you not delve into the unreal? Did they extra blue his eyes to make him look like a dune alien? It does look like they made him look more handsome with blue eyes. So let's dig into this. Lyle, by the way, for those who haven't seen, go back one real quick. Lyle is a character who is in Better Call Saul.

When the cartel company comes over, the cartoons, is that what they're called? The cartoons, which is agents of the cartel, come to the El Pollo Loco restaurant that Gus Fring is the president of.

Gus Thing. Gus Thing is the president of. They basically try to strong arm them. And this little cracker, Lyle, okay, to these guys. And he says, you're not so tough. And gets mad props from Gus. Okay. And so I guess Xavier, what's his name? Xavier Remington was interested enough in this character that he wanted to talk

a little bit about why he wasn't in Breaking Bad because he's such an important character in better call Saul. So let's dive into this. Breaking Bad is a TV series about the city underworld of drug trafficking in New Mexico. It centers around a teacher named Walter White who becomes a meth cook and drug dealer to make massive money for his family. family in the wake of his cancer diagnosis. Lyle was a minor yet memorable character in the series. He was the loyal assistant manager of Los Poyos Hermanos in the TV

series Better Call Saul. Of course, this was the Albuquerque New Mexico restaurant front for owner Gustavo Fring's drug empire. Yeah, seriously, you should watch a show. With Better Call Saul being the prequel to Breaking Bad, many have wondered why we never see Lyle on that series.

I think so many people have been clamoring. Many have wondered why we haven't seen Lyle in Breaking Bad. They have been clamoring for Lyle. Okay, next. Next. Top flight, psychics, seers, and mystics. So they got the best people in the world working on this.

Have told us that Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul are real in various parallel universes. It also exists within microverses where fictional worlds become reality, courtesy of the belief created by the human collective consciousness. In the majority of these realities, the most common outcome was the shutdown of Los Puyos Hermanos in the aftermath of Gus Fring's death and exposure as a majority. the drug kink then. The role of the restaurant in drug trafficking and money laundering is a PR nightmare that can't be remedied by any means. There are also logistical issues with the ongoing DEA

investigation. Next. Although Gustavo Fring was the founder, it was a subsidiary of the parent corporation Madrigal Electromotive. Fring owned a substantial stake along with stock in Madrigal. Officially, he served as a CEO

of Los Puyos Hermanos. However, Madrigal had a slight majority and chose to cut ties with the 14 Los Poyos locations. So this is all not in the show. So this is all new information. Yeah. They sold their steak to the Twisters restaurant chain, which folded the locations into their brand.

Those Twisters restaurants actually exist in our universe. When you eat there, you're sitting in the same place, the real Gus Fring, and others in the Breaking Bad universe have tread upon. It's merely out of phase with our world. As Twisters are a real restaurant? I guess, yeah.

Can we Google Twisters restaurant? I never heard of it, but I think it's real. And that might give us a little insight at a war. where exactly Xavier is located, because I'm guessing it's a regional thing. Yeah, it's got to be regional. There's no way it's not. The transfer of Los Poyos to Twisters

was done with the cooperation of those who inherited Gus Fring's stake in the business. Despite stating he had kids to Walter White in Breaking Bad, we know Gus. He had kids with Walter White? Apparently, according to this. Gus Fring? Well, we know Gus didn't have any biological errors.

He had kids to Walter White. Despite stating, he had kids to Walter White. He had kids to Walter White and Breaking Bad. Okay. What? Twisters is a New Mexico restaurant. Oh, okay. Gotcha. I'm still stuck on this. Did he say that?

I think he's stating to him. Oh. Yes. You're thinking in sort of an... I can... Yes. That was a full... I'm not even trying to be... I really misunderstood that. That would be a very kind of 19th century way of writing. He had kids too. Yeah, I had a

child to him. Yeah. It was merely a ploy so Walter and other people could better relate to him. In his will, Gus left a fair amount of wealth to charity. Good on you, Gus. However, Cynthia who is another character in this episode. Got a small inheritance with the largest amount going to loyal Lyle.

Wow. Both Lyle and Cynthia were deeply disillusioned after learning about Frink's criminal history and gladly cooperated with the sale of Los Poyos to Twisters. Next. Meanwhile, in a parallel universe, in another reality,

Lyle overhears Gus talking to Mike in the back of the restaurant. He then begins to follow various clues that lead him to the discovery of Gus Fring's drug empire. He's shocked. and goes to confront Fring. He sees him driving away with some of his men

and follows him to the future meth lab of Walter White. There, Lalo Salamanca kills Gus's men, and that's when Lyle bursts from the shadows to shield Fring from a bullet that wasn't actually going to happen yet. Lalo is startled and shoots Lyle. The distraction is enough for Gus to draw his gun and kill Lalo. In that universe, the gunfight and the unfinished meth lab never occurs.

Gus rests on the floor holding Lyle as he dies. Lyle says, why, Mr. Fring? Gus replies, I'm sorry, Lyle. Can you do his voice? I'm sorry, Lyle. Lyle passes on into the afterlife, going directly to heaven. Gus shows respect for Lyle and his sacrifice by not burying him with Howard and Lalo underneath the meth lab. He is placed in the sainted soils of a flowering field, overlooking a beautiful canyon underneath the lovely New Mexican skies.

Wow, that's nice. That's amazing. Then they have this other article that just says Supernatural Hollywood. So it has the Hollywood sign. I see a UFO. I see some kind of electric tower. If you look closely, there's a werewolf there. And there is a woman in a bubble.

A female bubble, which is pink. That's a girl bubble. So next slide. Here's a list of celebrities. Okay. And at first you're thinking, well, this is just a normal list. Christian Bill human. Kirk Cobain human.

Wait, Kevin O'Leary, vampire. I can see it. Oh, my God. Keanu Reeves, Immortal. Bruce Lee's superhuman. Fred Rogers, human with angelic lineage. Is that Fred from Scooby-Doo? Oh, I don't know. I didn't even click on that one. Okay. No, Shaggy Rogers.

Oh, okay. Charlie Sheen is a wear tiger. And Richard Simmons, who just recently rest in peace. No longer human. No longer human, it should say. Bones. Nothing. Nothing. So the one that jumped out to me here for our interest was Kevin O'Leary as a vampire.

so I'd like to dive into this. In Shark Tank's Kevin O'Leary, a vampire. From this picture, it seems obvious. I can't believe we missed this. Yeah. Kevin O'Leary, also known as Mr. Wonderful, is a multi-millionaire financial wizard.

Okay, so he's a wizard and a vampire. An investor on TV's Shark Tank. He had, he and other high-stakes investors who called themselves sharks, listen to pitches from businesses and inventors. Then they decide, ugh, I'm losing my voice. Oh, my gosh.

Then they decide whether to give them venture capital money and support or not. On the popular program, there have been numerous times Mr. Wonderful's fellow sharks have called him a vampire or hinted at his living dead status in some way, mostly about him sleeping upside down in his crypt. He's even referred to himself as being a vampire. So is this just a joke, or is Kevin really the vampire O'Leary? After consulting our contacts in the supernatural and celebrity community, we have concluded that Kevin O'Leary is indeed a vampire of a special. special sort. Oh, thank you. That's so huge, man. Oh, my God. You're a reverse vampire.

I got some of my pocket. That's amazing. It was going to happen to me. I probably will soon. All right. Next. The vampire wonderful. Mr. Wonderful has seen, has been seen... Count Wonderful, more like. Count Wonderful has been seen easily handling religious artifacts such as a crucifax. This cough drop is changing you. What do you mean? He's appeared in the holy sunlight on several occasions, Kevin routinely consumes food and beverages of a non-blood sort, a great deal of wine in particular. This includes his fine line of o'leary wines. How's this possible? It turns out he's technically a godpire. Or godpire. A godpire. The standard blood-sucking vampire comes from

demonic lineage, while a godpire is a product of nature deities. In Kevin's case, he's even more wonderful because he's an extremely rare arc godfire. The first generation of any godpire line begins with a god possessing a human to the DNA level and then mating with a normal human. This differs from a complete biological god mating with a human to birth a demi-god.

In the case of art godpires, you have the chance or planned meeting of two nature deities possessing each respective human while made. So it's two deities possessing two different humans and then making their bodies mate forcing their bodies to mate with each other and spread in our son. I guess that's

his parents. We're two gods that possessed some people that's crazy in Canada that's really yeah yeah probably did Kevin O'Leary's a second generation ark godpire descended from the Greek god of wine known as Dionysus and Lakshmi the Hindu goddess of wealth this is what drives as insatiable appetite for wealth and wine although he already had these traits at a young age long before his tremendous transformation this is what attracted a first generation archpire to him she had a chance running with him at a party celebrating the sale of his successful business, the learning company, to Mattel for $4.2 billion in 1999.

Later in the evening at the party, the Arkpire brought him across into the dark, burgundy shadows of wealthy wine. What does that mean? Brought him across into the dark burgundy shadows of wealthy wine. After the supernatural switch, Kevin truly became Mr. Wonderful as his natural love of money and fermented grapes grew exponentially, since Ark Godpire and Godpire are virtually unknown. terms, he and others of his kind simply call themselves vampires.

That's nice of them. For the, you know, the average Joe who's not going to know what this stuff means. Actually, I'm an archpire. Yeah, it's like, no, let's just, let's keep it a vampire. The paranormal powers of Mr. Wonderful, the vampire wonderful, is effectively immortal and appears to have aged very little since 1999.

Any noticeable aging is cosmetic in nature to preserve his human identity. Like all immortals, he will have to someday fake his own death and reinvent himself until humankind discovers the cure for aging. He does have small, retractable vampire fangs, but they're mainly to suck the juice out of grapes.

And then members of this kind can then directly transform the nectar into wine. Unfortunately, Kevin doesn't yet possess that power, but it will exhibit itself someday. His eyes will glow a slightly burgundy color after consuming a lot of red wine.

This is the preferred power stores of wine-associated godpires. So he's more than one. a burgundy color. A beautiful burgundy. His eyes are glowing red. No. Here's what I should bring on a shark tank then if I want to get an instant million dollars.

Yeah. A grape. Go on with red colored contacts. Do you want this grape? So crazy. Do you want this grape? I'm asking for $10,000 for this grape. Mountain dew into one beer for 50% of this grape.

Into a, the cough drop. really sent me over the edge. Yeah. This was the last substance. Is this your last slide? No. No. Next.

We knew this was going to happen. The power to create others of his own kind. Kevin does have the power to bring a third generation of art godpires into existence. It's unknown if he ever has, but in order to do so, he would have to recreate the same conditions as his transformation in 1999. In a number of cases, godpires can't transform others in the same way of standard sanguine, is it sanguine? Sanguine vampire camp.

pyre will drain someone of nearly all their blood to the brink of death before bringing them back by introducing their own blood into the subject. In this instance, the pre-godpire would need to drink a large quantity of special wine, directly blessed by both Dionysus and Lakshmi. The grapes themselves are said to have come from Mount Olympus. Wow. Mixed with the nectar of the gods is 24-carat gold dust of fortune, mined from the first to ever exist within the cosmos. The mystical wine actually transforms human blood into a special wine that brings them to the brink of death. It is at this point that the sire godpire introduces a few

drops of their own mystical wine-embued blood into the mouth to be absorbed into the surging supernatural system. God, how do we kept this to so late? Yeah, this is a bad one to do at this hour. I'm really stumbling. This is going to, this is right. Does the

wonderful one have any weaknesses, and there's pictures of wine? In order to maintain peak power and remain immortal, Kevin must consume high-quality wine on a regular basis. He must also include precious metal powders in his food and drink when possible. Indeed, he can still eat and drink anything unlike a blood-sucking vampire. However, he prefers only the richest and highest quality food he can acquire. Like a reverse vampire, O'Leary requires a fair amount of sunshine

just as growing grapes do. He also needs some pitch darkness at times, not unlike the fermenting wine within wood barrels. Dude, how much, how pissed off would you be if you're like, you became a vampire and you're like, all right, I know the rule. I got to have darkness. I can't I can't be in the sun. And then you learn, well, sometimes I need to be in the sun. But at other times, I must be in pitch darkness. Do you tell you're a vampire? He's like, oh, sick, I'm like a bat.

And they're like, you're more like a grape. Next. Another admission of vampireism. They got him. He's dressed up like a disgusting vampire. And here's the caption, I'm coming out of the coffin. Okay, so I'm a vampire. Get over it.

That's a really good proof. I don't know how much more people you can. Seeing this picture is probably what prompted this entire article because he's dressed like a vampire and what's in his right hand. It's wine. A glass of wine. A glass of fucking wine. I think that's the best part about Xavier Remington stories.

Right from the headlines. Yeah, it's truly like, oh yeah, Kevin O'Leary, I see this picture. Yeah. Yep, here I go. Because they couldn't use the thing is, if they wanted to just say that he was a vampire, they couldn't use this photo as proof. No. Because he's drinking one.

wine. Yeah. So they had to justify the wine. And he's outside in the daytime. So he created a wine vampire. Yeah. That's amazing. And that's what Kevin O'Leary is.

I can do my next. We'll definitely have time for both of them. I feel like mine's not so long. All right. Here we go, guys. This is a question that I'm sure we've all asked each other, not ourselves, but each other. What's the most supernaturally dangerous place on Earth?

And there's a little bit of a spoiler in the header image here. Let's look at the next slide here. The pyramid. The safest nation on earth in every way for centuries, including shielding from sinister supernatural entities, has been Iceland. They've always had a strong supernatural heritage embedded with an independent Viking determination. This is outside of paranormal places like St. Nicholas's North Pole City, which is not only holy ground, but also under a powerful protection spell.

Afghanistan has rated the most unsafe nation on earth for the average person. And that's just a fact. however when it comes to the wayward world of the supernatural North Korea is number one despite being rated only the 15th most dangerous country this stems from yo oh my god burger delivery oh my goodness my fucking god way we gotta take a break for a sec

my boy dude we're in the home stretch we're in the home stretch man we got oh my goodness two hours and 40 minutes left holy shit shout out to try's burgers man Tell the good people where you're hocking burger. Tell everybody what's going on.

Thank you so much, man. You are a fucking legend. You are the go. This is exactly what we need right now. You just do your plug. Just do your plug. Come on. Shise Burgers can be found at 185 Sullivan Street

at Mimi, four days a week from Tuesdays through Saturdays, six to 10, and then occasionally elsewhere. Amazing. That's all you had to do. How hard was it? that, man. This is crazy.

Yeah, it is great. Yeah, it sucks, man. These are the best hamburgers in the world. I'll be completely honest. It's so good. Yeah, they're very delicious. Thank you so much for the deluge. Thank you, bro.

You don't want you to enjoy these. I told you, I told you, I told you, save one for yourself. You eat them all the time. We can give it to Thomas. Thomas is coming in a little bit. All right, we'll give it to Tom. Yeah, that's probably true.

Thank you again, man. Thank you, brother. God of us. Appreciate you. Bye, bye, bye. All right. we have been burger ejection yeah i'll wait to eat mine

until i finish my okay oh yeah oh yeah we've been going crazy running through it man um bye oh yeah this so this the reason that north korea is the most supernaturally dangerous this stems from the ultra tight dictatorial control

kim jong un has over north korea virtually all danger stems from his regime directly or indirectly this is especially true when it comes to metaphysical malevolveillance Okay? So let's hit the next one here. The Kim family dynasty came to power in 1948. They were aided early on

by the notorious Illuminati. This is something you won't read in the history books. Kim Jong-un is more or less a tool. Yeah, I'll say. Of the European plutocratic elites. Thank you. Hellbent on global domination. North Korea is a convenient mechanism to utilize in their

game of global chess, a nation to cause chaos when needed. A potential catalyst to launch World War III. It's also a place to punished enemies and permanently get rid of them. So we're seeing that North Korea is kind of almost like the Joker on the world stage a little bit. Kim Jong-un has a long-standing agreement with an armada of dark supernatural factions. This includes secret treaties with the vampire kingdom of Transylvania and werewolf lichen royals. So also I wanted to, this is kind of like, I know people always are like trying to get a look inside North Korea, trying to see what it's like, what's it like over there?

What are they doing? Here's what. I never knew. And this is spreading the truth. Some people want to say, it's a communist utopia. No. creating werewolves? Listen to what Xavier has to say. These denizens of

oh, can you go back? These denizens of darkness are given free reign to spread terror throughout Kim's territory. Only those under his protection are spared the nightmare of being paranormal prey. Both monsters and wealthy elites consider North Korea their sick playground within which they may hunt down whoever they want for mere sport.

Even the devil is in on this. Oh my God. The nefarious nation boast the largest amount of demon possessions in the world. Next. All three generations of Kim's have sold their souls to Satan to maintain power. This goes hand in hand with their Illuminati involvement. The Illumani themselves elude justice for their carefully crafted crimes, courtesy

of the devil's protection. Top flight, psychics, seers, and mystics have looked into the afterlife and seen that the deceased Kim Il-sung and Kim Jong-il have descended to hell at the pleasure of Satan. Bring it back! He is said to be pleased with the malevolum of mayhem they caused during their respective reigns of terror. They are currently working their way to demonhood status.

Kim Jong-Ut is expected to have an honored place in hell as well, together with his grandpa and dad, they will metaphysically merge into an unholy trinity that could be a major player in the upcoming battles of Armageddon. If I didn't have that burger just now, I would truly, I'd be punching holes in this wall. I'd be punching holes in this goddamn wall. Next, please. The perilous paranormal playground. This is what it looks like in North Korea. This is what it looks like city center. Oh my God, really? Dirt path, terrible trees, vampires running around, one bat. Next slide

Most citizens are helpless to defend themselves From paranormal perplexities Those with ancient knowledge of the metaphysical Are long gone and all sacred documents Have been confiscated Over the deck This is how fucked up it is over there I'm getting heated

Over the decades The government is systematically eliminated Those who fought against the forces of darkness This includes good witches, warlocks, wizards, wizards, and sorcerers Anyone foolish enough to travel in North Korea faces extreme punishments Including death for the most minor of infractions They are also easy prey for the paranormal powers

that be who not only frolick freely in the night but also flow freely in sunlight. Fuck that. Indeed, large areas of North Korea have special spells to protect evil entities. Even the vampire invitation spell is mostly null and void courtesy of Kim Jong-un's wayward wizards and wicked witches. There is no safety in homes

or hotel rooms. Now this is the travel advice. Steer clear of North Korea. Unless you're a seasoned paranormal professional with prolific powers ready to defend the people against the forces of bloody fright. Wow. And then the next thing here.

This is the ad at the bottom of the page. Related product. It's a pillow with a picture of Kim Jong-un. Live every moment, laugh every day. Love Beyond Words. There's an Amazon link to this pillow. Can you put the link up on the screen? I want to buy that.

Yeah. No, I can't. All right. I don't know that power. I mean, this is, by the way, this is a... And it's my burger time, y'all. It's your burger time. And buddy, he's so excited reading it.

He's done something different, and it's the best surprise in the world. Okay. it's not the classic it's a spicy variation and it's so beautiful it's always happy the when you guys are walking around

when you kids wearing those Che Guevara t-shirts just know that you're supporting werewolfism uh huh you're supporting vampires you're supporting anti-claws uh-huh

you're supporting Transylvania uh huh you're supporting Transylvania and you support Transylvania I can't fuck with you I'm sorry man they're a fucking war criminal so wasteland

uh so speaking of War criminals. What role have U.S. presidents played in the supernatural world? It got caught on the mic, but you made a gurgle from your burger. Yeah, it's my acid reflex. Speaking of war criminals.

Speaking of war criminals. Sounded good. Yeah. This is what roles U.S. presidents have played. Text from Thomas. Hold up. What do you say, bro? Trapped on the toilet might be late.

it's all right man i'm sorry i read that it's all good man should have kept that to yourself didn't need to read it out loud but i wanted to let you guys know my fault bro it's all good man hope you're watching it on the toilet he'll understand so first president of note woodrow wilson the illuminati president now although the infamous plutocratic global elites of the illuminati have always been lurking in the dark shadows of the U.S. government, they never got a complete toehold until the 28th president, Woodrow Wilson. He is the first president bought and paid for directly by the Illuminati, also known as the New World Order. This is how Wilson rose to power or presidency in such a short period of

time. He barely had two years of political experience between being elected governor of New Jersey and winning the White House in 1912. Before that, he had been a professor of politics and history along with an eventual rise to president of Princeton University. The evil elite, have always had the power to make people presidential nominees and influence election results. In the case of 1912, having a four-way election with former president's Teddy Roosevelt and Taft, dividing the Republican vote,

aided in the Democrat Wilson's 42% victory. Socialist Eugene V. Debs only minorly muddled the waters as the fourth candidate. Now, there's an ad here for billionaire, billionaire brainwave, but then there was also another article that said, read the full article here, and I found a new website called, Supernatural Monsters. I think it was

Supernatural. Dot Monster. This is what the website looked like. And this... And what's more supernatural than the Asky Art Snail? Yeah. That's a cyber snail. Which has some kind of spiritual meaning. So the whole article was was Woodrow Wilson the Illuminati

Tax Income President. Income Tax President. Next slide. And this is where the article continues. Woodrow Wilson's early years. The Road to become the Illuminati's Aaron Boy back in the 1960s, Confederate Georgia. or 1860s Confederate, Georgia, during the Civil War, after the South lost the war,

many so-called secret societies formed, some related to the notorious KKK. Astards. I like the style of this website. This looks like a class assignment I would submit in fourth grade. Yeah, you look good, man. Often organizations meant to bolster those who'd fancy themselves as being better than most.

Wilson eventually found themselves within, one, with loose connections to the Illuminati. He had no aspiration at the time to gain power. Nonetheless, the power players kept an eye on this rising star of exceptional intelligence. Wilson worked his way through the nefarious secret societies that eventually led him to become president of Princeton. It was that taste of power that made him crave control over people and the world. In order to become president of the prestigious school, he had to partake in a blood oath ritual pledging loyalty to a top flight royal Illuminati elite.

You never have to do that. Let me just say that for all the listeners. If you're about, if you're going to have to partake in a blood oath ritual, ritual, loyalty, don't do it. You never have to. You can use fake blood. And you can use a thing called that. You can always say I abstain or I opt out. They don't have to make you do it. Or you can use the hand-onator. It's kind of like the

wizonator for drug tests. What's that? It's the thing that holds the fake pee. You can put a fake hand over your hand, put fake blood behind it. Oh, that's smart. That's what I did. And in order to become blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Things were going well until Wilson tried to leverage his connections to take things to the political level. It turns out Wilson wasn't willing to take the next step to ascend to national power. Next slide.

Then there was a whole, like the whole article, but what I was really interested in was the supernatural aspect of this. Of course. Which is at the end here. The final years of the slow Illuminati sacrifice, President Wilson's wife, First Lady Ellen Wilson, died at the White House in 1914. Some in the supernatural community believe the Illuminati had a hand in it to make room for Wilson's next wife. He promptly married in 1915. That's one year. The new first lady, Edith Wilson, had plutocratic elite connections.

It's assumed that she was Woodrow's Illuminati handler as he would become stubbornly uncooperative at times. In 191919, he suffered a catastrophic stroke and Edith was more or less acting as the president until the end of his term in 1921. She followed the Illuminati's wishes to the letter. After leaving office, Woodrow's health rapidly declined until his demise on February 3rd, 1924 at the age of 67. It was considered a long-term Illuminati blood sacrifice to Satan. Woodrow had wanted to run for a third term, which was legal in those days. However,

which was legal in those days? However, his declining health made that highly impractical. After his death, death, the devil kept his word, as he usually does. Of course, he does enjoy twisting the truth to play games with people. President Wilson didn't go

directly to heaven, but rather to purgatory for some sweet soul collecting due to to loaning his soul to Satan. He was officially washed clean of his sins in 2014. When you go washed? Yo! And descended to heaven with little fanfare. However, time moved differently there,

and his stay was more like a solid millennium or so. Devil emoji. So this whole, this is a new website that I found. So there's a new website run apparently by Xavier Remington or maybe an associate where they talk about Illuminati secrets like this, which we will have to do a deep dive subject. day.

Okay. But then I went back to Mystic Investigations to learn about none other than the Kennedy assassination. Oh, thank God. I mean, I just don't believe all that bullshit. Real quick,

before we get into this, you're going to believe this. Yeah, we're about to hear, I think, that obviously the be all end all, what really happened. But I want to know what are you guys theories.

What are you, what's your, before we hear the official story? I've already seen this. Okay. Then Caleb, what do you think? Yeah.

What I think happened with JFK? Yeah. car accident, obviously. Yeah. It's literally an accident that happened in a car. And he got... I thought a bullet

was tragically swallowed by his head. Nobody ever talks about that bullet. My poor bullet. My poor magic bullet. You know, oh, I lost my fucking magic bullet.

Whoa, my magic bullet! Whoa! I opened the pouch! The wizard said not to open the pouch before I got home. Wait a minute. Did you give Oswald

my magic bullet? No. I sent the picture of the bullet stop, bullet stop. Why is it not stopping? Oh, I forgot the magic words. When Trump got shot at, I sent the picture of the bullet midair to Jack. And he brought up an amazing point that I didn't even notice when I looked through the photo, which is the bullet looks extremely long.

Yeah, long bullet. And he shot him with that long-ass bullet. He said they used a long bullet. And I think that, I can't believe that nobody's talking about that. The bullet looks like it's like a foot and a half long. They had to have used a long bullet. It was literally a long bullet. It was a long bullet.

That's why I missed. Well, I was somewhere in between the two of you on the Kennedy thing. Sure. I thought that there was a magic bullet car accident. I think the car went too fast. Yeah. The bullet was just in the air. It was in the air and the guy, the dumb-ass driver.

Drove into it. He didn't look where he was going and he drove into the bullet. But then my mind was blown when I read this. Let's hear it. There are events. in the 20th century that lure in many a time traveler from the future. One was the sinking of the

Titanic that boasted some 200 plus time travelers just before it sunk. Can I tell you really quick that link on the Titanic link? I know what that's linked to because I found it on their YouTube channel. I didn't put it in, but they've just started. There's only like two or three of them. Mystic Investigations

that just started making music based on their articles. AI music. Wow. And they made an AI song about the time travelers visiting the Titanic. That's amazing. It has lyrics. It has lyrics. Can we check it out after this? They have a better song, though, that I'll, when we go to their YouTube channel,

I'll send it to Julio right now. Just before it sunk, another event is the assassination of President Kennedy. While time cops have been rather lax when it comes to the Titanic, they strictly enforce temporal incursions near JFK throughout his life. There's an armada of decent travelers who attempt to save him or try to uncover the conspiratorial mystery of his assassination. Either way, the closest most can get to is Dealey Plaza at binocular, a binocular distance

It is known that at least a few gifted psychics tried to warn President Kennedy of his fate although he has dismissed the mix I can't read right now Although he dismissed them as quacks The same goes for the few Time Travelers who managed to meet

him before he was president Just as they were about to present high-tech proof of their claims Some mysterious men would quickly intervene They would then tell Kennedy The supposed time travelers were mentally ill Of course, once he became president and was informed of the full extent of the supernatural world, including time travelers, he began to think twice about those past incidents. In fact, it is thought that he changed his plans and Dallas wasn't his original destination on that ill-fated day on November 22nd, 1963, especially after one-time traveler managed to pose as a security credentialed official and meet him in the Oval Office.

He showed Kennedy an iPad-like device With all manner of evidence Including video It was also revealed who was behind The conspiracy to kill him Despite this, he still met his maker Way too early in life He saw a motherfucking video

Of his own head getting blown off Still got in that car They didn't have... I better drive away from this bullet Well listen This is why Next slide In the distant future

They created a time loop didn't they In the distant future It will be known That Kennedy discovered the deep state time loop. It will be known that Kennedy discovered the deep state, a wayward web of sinister, secretive individuals and organizations

who actually control the U.S. government no matter who was elected by the people. Kennedy made efforts to disband and expose this deep state, but ultimately they took him down with Lee Harvey Oswald as a fall guy. Apparently, the president informed a number of people who continued to cause trouble in future decades with secret documents

Kennedy gave them. This prompted the deep state assassins to go back and take down Kennedy at age 17 while he was at boarding school in 1934. A brave troop of private time travelers saved him by bringing Kennedy to 2118. Oddly enough, time cops chose not to confront the assassins nor the saviors. I got to let go.

I like that line because you know that Xavier Remington like wrote that and was like, oh shit, a plot hole. No, if they did this, time cops would have come after them. Oddly enough, time cops did not come after them. The temporal assassins went to 2118 and nearly killed. Kennedy. He had escaped his saviors after he freaked out about being in the future and not knowing who to trust. He ended up hanging out with a group of fellow teens and attended a swanky hologram laden party. Kennedy was shocked to learn about the dark future of his family and

his own alarming end. The party quickly descended to chaos as the assassins were finally eradicated by the time savers. Kennedy was returned to his own time with the memory alteration procedures so that he would forget everything. The fictional version of this true story was featured in the television show Timeless Season 2 episode 5, The Kennedy Search or the Kennedy Curse, watch online. Often government insiders release secret info to trusted

entertainment industry sources to get ahead of potential leaks. If it was already exists as fiction, then people won't believe it in the real story. The Matrix. It is said before Kennedy's memory of the future was erased, he requested to return upon his death. He was intrigued by the

fantastical world of the early 22nd century. It is known that the official time travelers are authorized to retrieve various important historical figures at the moment of their death. They are then resurrected with future medical procedures. The dead bodies are replaced with precise clones exhibiting the proper autopsy results.

The saviors had set up and then, yeah, just they brought him to the future. They bring Kennedy to the future. How much time do we have? I don't want to read into it. You have so much time. I have so much to read too. That's fine. We're going to be going to the hat. Okay. Well, the next one,

Just click through this. Richard Nixon thought the supernatural world was a joke. Why am I not fucking surprised? Tricky Dick. Maybe open your eyes a little bit. He showed Jackie Gleason proof of aliens. He reportedly went much further with Elvis and shared virtually everything. He went all the way with Elvis.

He went all the way with Elvis. He even gave Elvis a government badge that granted access to places like Area 51. Elvis took... Bullshit he did. Well, listen. Listen up. Elvis took this illuminating information and followed some supernatural leads that granted him

immortality. He fakes his death. He fakes his death and took on a new identity. The king of rock and roll still lives among us. Can I try a new stand-up joke I just thought of? So apparently, President Richard Nixon fucked Elvis to death. Okay. That's the premise.

Is it set up? What's a punch? Yeah, so I know what you're thinking. But I thought Elvis died on the toilet. Well, he did. Nixon's dick game is Duky. that's an applause break that's special

Nixon's dick game is ducky so what is this one okay so this one explains how Nixon hex the supernatural or was hexed by supernatural Richard Nixon

fucked Elvis and death sorry Pat I know you got a lot to get through I know I have so much to get through that is pretty funny Well, this one, this, okay, this one explains how Nixon was hexed by some supernatural people he offended, which eventually led to Watergate. Okay. I've heard of that.

So then that bleeds into Ford, which. Which I'm just reading the, I'm just to get like kind of the cliff notes here, I'm just reading the red underlying bit. So I'm seeing hexed, bad luck bit Gerald on the rear, ended the gold standard. Nixon opened the door to the Chinese. yep well what bit Gerald Ford

on the rear what was it bro next slide an evil leopard I had no idea of all this

history this is crazy so much history on here I wish that we have just done a Howard Zinn

type thing where I don't have to read as much we can switch off reading if you want yeah

somebody else read my eyes are the clericon claiming to a leprechaun approached Ford in the U.S. Capitol after a late-night session in the house. He made Gerald an offer he couldn't refuse.

Ford would become president at the expense of Nixon's downfall. Gerald felt bad about this, but wanted the presidency with all his heart. He later... He inhaled it. I didn't... You inhaled it? I inhaled it by accident. Oh my God, somehow your nose is sweaty and something.

It's from the... Put it down, man. That's from the peppers and the burger. Put it down, man. What the hell are you... What are you doing, man? You're going to hurt your brain. You're not supposed to do that. No, I'm not. Oh, my God.

I just got hit by it when you did it. Smelling salt. I highly recommend these if you have to do a 12-hour podcast. Yeah, this is legal and okay to have on YouTube again. Yeah, I would like to stress that. We can't stress this enough. It's literally a... You can buy it on Amazon.

You might as well be smelling a candle. By the way, that's a good idea for next time. Smelling something is not illegal. No, not at all. And it's not degenerate and it shouldn't rule out any jobs from your future when you have to look for a job in the future. Yes, when, yeah, thank you. Thank you for saying that. Yeah, because a lot of people don't think that.

I think if you are sniffing fumes on YouTube live... For 12 hours? For 12 hours? Yeah. That's going to reflect badly on you. They think that is going to hurt your career. No. It shouldn't.

It really shouldn't. And if it does, it's discriminatory. There's nothing wrong with fumes if they're legal. It's literally a smell. It's legal fumes. Thank you. What are you going to do? Run up on me?

Yeah, plug my nose. The clericon, not going to happen. The clericon claiming to be a leprecon, approached Ford in the U. I already read this. okay maybe it is bad maybe it is instantly proven to be really bad for you it's what I think of reading the same thing you read again

with a crazy voice like Claude me to be a leopard I got you man Ford's dirty deal partly resulted in Nixon and others in the administration receiving the negative luck of the Watergate scandal by coincidental fluke the other half was a hex put upon Nixon by an unknown member

of the supernatural community he offended It's nice to know there's still mysteries in the world. In 1973, Ford was appointed vice president in place of Spiro Agnew, and in 1974, he became president when Nixon resigned under the threat of impeachment. The unfortunate embarrassment spree. Upon taking the oath of the unfortunate embarrassment spree. You have to hear it read. The unfortunate embarrassment spree. Upon taking the oath of the office, President Gerald Ford's bad luck spree began.

and so did the United States is. A specter of dumb, dark, embarrassing luck that would follow him for all the rest of his days even beyond the White House. The grandest example being the historic tumble down the steps of Air Force One, who hasn't seen this. Gerald Ford should be thankful he didn't wish for anything dastardly

because such wishes can result in dangerous dark luck rather than the harmless embarrassments he suffered through. In addition, a great deal of the failed fortune fell upon the Nixon administration, thus lessening the full brunt on Ford. Let this be a lesson to those who blindly accept deals from little Irish fellows

calling themselves lepracons. Yeah, and then there is like a good amount of like stuff about leprechauns and Gerald Ford after that. Next slide. Bro, I got next. I'll read this for you. Yeah. Okay. President Donald Trump was approached by the devil.

Yeah. When President Trump came into office, he was aware of the existence of vampires and witches. He hired witches to cast protection spells on his various properties to keep the vamps away. He also knew a very Demonic entities who look to purchase human souls some people in his organization had made Pact with various demons he was even approached by the devil himself in a human form Satan wished to promise him the U.S. presidency in return for certain favors

The devil assumed he'd play ball as a billionaire who had the knowledge of the global Illuminati power structure Trump turned him down as he was determined to achieve the most powerful post on the earth on his own wow when Trump was first briefed on the exponential extent of the supernatural world beyond vampires and demons he was seriously shocked Who wouldn't be? Especially about the existence of various... Yeah. Especially about the existence of various malevolent monsters and evil extraterrestrials.

It's rumored he had major heart palpitations and had to seek medical attention. Thankfully, he accepted the horror of our reality. And work with the U.S. paranormal defense agency to strengthen supernatural defenses, particularly various border incursions by the denizens of darkness. The border wall actually has magical spells cast upon. it to repel a plethora of alarming entities. Huh. Huh. Yeah, that's all I say about it. Huh.

That's very interesting, Xavier. Interesting. Well, you know what he means by that. Next slide. The Space Force. The Space Force was formed under the Trump administration due to an unknown alien threat. It seems Earth has been under the protection

of the Galactic Federation of Extraterrestrial since the 1950s. Mainly the aliens are interested in the billions of unique DNA sequences are planet possesses. They also cover various or covet various other natural resources to a lesser extent. There has always been interest in watching

sapient species evolved into an intelligent civilization. All these factors compel the Galactic Federation to protect Earth from meteors, hostile aliens and anything that could radically threaten the planet. Next slide. Oh, Carmel Harris. And there was stuff about Biden,

but I wanted to show this because it's President Harris and Tom Cruz on an alien world. Can I be brutally honest? I was fucking calmed. That is brutal. Yeah, I'll clap it up for that. She is very pretty. Yeah.

I would love, I mean, I don't know much about her. She got double Marge necklace. Whoa. She's got double something else as well. Boobobs. Eyeballs? He has double boobs. Who are double boobs?

That's right. Count them. President Biden was gradually made aware of the supernatural state of her nation. Yeah. And I bet he thought it was a fucking pig. I bet he thought they were asking about pigs or something. Or he thought he was in a banana boat. The freaking dementia bastard.

That's crazy. He's got a dementia thing. We're nine hours and 45 minutes in. First womp womp. Yeah. I'll take that. I'll take that. I could have gotten a couple of wampwomp

soon and I ducked it. So I'm pretty happy. So he was gradually made aware of the supernatural state of our nation. Yeah, what did he think it was? you're going back for seconds, okay? Get it ready. Get it ready. Get it ready. He probably thought Dracula was one of his schoolmates. That's good. No, we don't need the crickets. That was good. That was actually good.

There we go. And then he charmed. He charmed? Wait, and then Joe Biden met Dracula? And then he smiled. So he wasn't alarmingly surprised like other presidents as former president. Vice President. He continued to receive intelligence briefings throughout the Trump presidency. This included the current state of the Galactic Federation, the galaxy

wide war raging onward. Interestingly enough, the reason we never seem to hear or see Vice President Kamala Harris is due to President Biden putting her in secret charge of dealing with the Galactic Federation and Earth's defense forces within the space. In secret charge is such a

funny eight-year-old phrase. I'm putting you in secret charge of this. Isn't this beautiful? to look at, take the big picture just seven hours ago, we were talking about we can confirm this was true

that there is different types of aliens. There are different types of aliens. And if she is, if it's true that she was in charge of dealing with the Galactic Federation, I feel honestly like she should be the president. Definitely. I haven't noticed

single galactic phenomenon. Me neither. Not a one. And there was two under Biden. Why did you close out of that? He made an accident. It's okay. Well, there's one final slide

that's very important. Oh, really? Oh, okay. All right. Because it's the sound of that. Because it was breaking news. Wait, I'm getting hyped up. Hope it's some fucking nuts and a nutsack.

Just go all the way to the end. Pause, bro. The attempted assassination of Donald Trump. Wow. On July 13th, 2024, at a Donald Trump presidential rally in Butler, PA, several shots were fired by a sniper on a roof

nearby. Why did I never realize the name of the town was butlerpa? It truly is butlerpa. It's actually butlerpa. Yeah. Damn, I'm a bit of a butt slurpa. Trump was shot in the ear while an audience member died. Two others were injured. Had Donald not

tilted his head at the last second, he would have surely suffered a fatal head wound. The physics of the reality, psychic, of the reality recognition guild have determined that this is his guardian angel who intervened at a subconscious level.

Such a supernatural intervention would only take place if a dark paranormal event was a fur at foot. Also see the dark paranormal element was a foot you said a dark paranormal event was a fur.

Was at foot afurt. I think I got to get tested for dyslexia because they never tested me for that. Steve Martin being back. The sniper was a fool. The sniper was terminated by the Secret Service with extreme prejudice.

However, one bullet was directed with telekinesis by a deeply demon-possessed person somewhere nearby. Oh, my God. Both individuals were agents of the dreaded Illuminati. It seems they fear a second term of the Trump presidency could derail their agenda or set it back several years. We shall see what desperate,

Desperate measures they take as the 2024 election grows closer. We shall see what desperate measures they take. You know, I feel like Xavier has never gotten this expressly political before. You should see all of the... To me, in my reading. The presidential stuff. Julio, can you play this link that I sent to the Discord of you, of the podcast streaming Discord? This is one of...

This is Misting Investigation's best song they created with AI. Oh, snap. Put all my favorite jeans and I'm on my way. It's called Sunday Fonday. This song is so good This song is so good Nobody ever knows the fun we have The laughter and the thrill

Sunday, Just like a bell Just like a pill I like it Nowhere, the description is A pop song about driving to the beach And having fun on Sunday It doesn't say anywhere

That this is an AI A song, how did you know? Yeah, I don't know It sounds like... Can I hear the Titanic song? Yeah, the Titanic one is cool They have three songs We should listen to all of them to be honest

Just hit the channel Mystic Investigations channel It's the three most recent videos Oh and click subscribe Titanic Time Travelers This is the one This is the first one that I discovered And then the other one is

Midnight Shadows Oh my God Way different vibes They all have completely different vibes Straight up Yeez's sounding Time travelers crowd the deck They're everywhere

Taking selfies Flushing whites in the air They brought their machines Too much to bear Titanic's fate No one sees to care Them or scream We're here in history

No one's happy Lost in there of mystery Oh my god's actually Ain't no misery The ship's sinking a different time story Wow This is actually good, man Is that what it looked like?

That's a party. That's the clock Wow Everyone's a star Titanic fans are Titanic fans Yeah Yeah

No one's reaching hands To pull the week Too busy posing drill All right Let's hear midnight shadows That's a song about people going to see Titanic as tourists. Yeah.

And they're too caught up and taking selfies to actually save anybody? Exactly. That's pretty poignant. Yeah. And now this Midnight Shadow song, third song here,

hasn't even deeper me. I don't get it. Mystic Investigations music. Whoa. A Mystic Investigation's music video featuring a Supernatural Sounds of our very own senior VP, Rebecca Abernappy. AI was the best thing to happen to Xavier Remington.

Yeah, absolutely. He's got a lot of writing to do. Imagine the song comes on in the club. Skip to the very end. I want to show you what they put at the end of all their songs. because they have a little producer tag that they put. Wow. That's a finger.

Misting Investigations production. That's for real. We're doing a five finger right now. Oh, 10 minute five finger right now. I said he's going to get here at 10.15. Maybe I'll get my water. Okay. And then we can do a hat also.

Yeah. We can do a hat right now. So that's Mystic Investigations. Let's do a finger. Oh, he want to spit. Oh, he wanted to go finger. All right, finger. I have finger about the hat.

Search finger type beat. Look up finger type beat. And then you take a word out of the hat. Oh, that's a good ass idea. And you finger. All right, finger type beat is coming up here. Let's see what we have. Five fingers of death instrumental.

All right, play that shit. The Great Outdoors. Going outside with my cousins, everybody's going to go to the front end. We're going to go out to the back, to the back doors, outdoors, because I live in the woods. Political climate. And we moved to the woods because of our political climate. My dad found a ladder, and then he climbed it. top of a bust and he shot at

Trump. His name was Thomas Matthew Crooks and he was my dad. He was really bad at firing. First aid. He didn't administer first aid to his ear because they shot him through his ear too. The bullet went through his head and went out

where he poos. The bullet went into his ear and came out of the ass. Because he was small. Salt or pepper. Salt or pepper. Pepper. Hold up. Let me tell you about my ancestor real quick.

Before all this crazy shit happened with my father, Thomas Matthew Crooks. I got to tell you about where it all started. Like in 1887. My grandfather, Seltor Pepper, moved to this country from Poland. This beat, damn. Romantic movies. And he was featured in a romantic movie called Romancing the Stone. Because he played the Stone because he played the Stone.

from Poland and everybody took him out bowling after the movie was done in the theater he threw a couple of balls they were some heaters and they took down every single candle pin it was candle pin bowling and he saw everybody get inside of his in the bowling alley brazers and they went on brazers on their phone because he were allowed to look at porn at this bowling alley it was crazy they play porn on the screen when you get a strike That's a good idea. And they also have a room full of recumbent bikes. A room full of recumbent bikes is low to the ground and everybody watching people get pounds pounded on the screen.

These are the worst topics. Anyone's ever written? Ready for the next one? Yeah. Tools. Tools. Drill. Screw drive.

A motherfucking hammer. I need tools. I need me a new blammer. I need a slammer. I am a scammer. Give me another word. so I cannot stammer. Jiz.

I really like jizz. No, I don't wait. Why'd I say that? I'm a whiz. Kid off the top when I'm wrapping that from the hat. Cat in the hat. I'm reading some books. Books.

The girl has good looks. And she is a disgusting crook. Let me read the next one. Religion and spirituality. You know that I'm from a different reality. Damn. And I'm really. Really, factuality, really, really smart.

Give me another word so I can start. Christmas is coming up. I can't do this, man. Weak, weak. I can't. This is too much. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. Here I go.

Here I try, I try, try, try, try, try. Cybernetics. Cybernetics. What can you say about cybernetics? You can't rest of the rap. And what can you say about? No, you don't. I turned it to a bionicle.

Uh-huh. And I was watching Chronicle. I got some abilities, just like in that movility. And there is a new law that you have to be named Jude Law. Whoa. Or else you will be a boo ball. That's a type of ghost that is shaped like a ball. This beat is crazy.

Farming and crap production. Man, I need some suction. Oh. From Caleb, please. Let's do it. So get down on your knees. That is Kardashian. That is, Kim, that's the only one I can think of, is one of them a him.

They have a brother. They have a brother. Business advice. You should buy stock and rice. That's never going to go down. It'll be nice. And what, if you could be an animal, I'd be the guy from animals. I think that's a polar bear.

Dude, don't go through every single one. Yeah, we're going to need those. We're going to need them at the end. Because if we don't, then you're going to have to grow fur. Because, yeah, I would be a new type of pet to have. What is a new type of pet to have? Hey, what about a Dracula bat? A type of bat.

Cut it. Cut it. Cut it. Wait, and that's supposed to be the boom. Yeah, we're going to need some for the end. Yeah, we definitely will. Those are very important. Don't be a little.

Hey, leave those alone. Stop, stop, stop, stop. We need a lot to talk about. Oh, yeah. I guess we are. waiting on thomas well i mean we can start the next thing for without thomas too while we're waiting for thomas to show up sure let's talk about movies and tv too let's talk about movies and tv too let's talk about movies and tv too i'm julio's gone afk and abandoned us in our time of need well well

well well the movie wizard trying to think of the last movie or tv i watch what i saw let can i do my can i do a review yeah yeah man movie corner i did twisters i saw twisters oh okay and i thought that It was mid. No. And that's my review. Were you expecting a lot more than mid from that? I thought now, you are here. Actually, this is good because I can litigate this now.

I think you will recall, I told you guys that this movie, and this is something I genuinely believe to be true, I thought that this movie was about a fire tornado versus an ice tornado. Oh, yeah. And I really spent a lot of effort convincing you guys of this. And it wasn't, I wasn't being fun. Yeah. I really, for whatever, I don't know what made me think of that. I think I saw the trailer at some angle

that made me misinterpret. So it wasn't about a fire versus that. It had nothing to do with that at all. There was barely even two tornadoes. I really thought it was going to be a fire toronto. I was 100% sure. I was seated. I'm not kidding.

I think that's on you if you didn't enjoy it. This is what the level I was at. Well, the movie was just not good, man. Yeah. As well. But you, okay. It wasn't just that there was no one. You went in thinking that there was going to be a fire tornado.

in an ice tornado. I was in my seat. There's a part. There's a part, I was fucking sad. There's a part where the tornado blows over like an oil refinery and the fire comes up

and I'm like, here we fucking go. Here comes the ice tornado. We're trying to figure out how they're going to make the ice tornado. They already did the fire. Obviously this will be the fire tornado. That's literally I was in the seat

being like, okay, well there's the fire tornado. And that never came. Where's the ice tornado? Well, they wouldn't do that. They literally didn't. He didn't even ever have two tornadoes at once. Really? There was one time where they had two tornadoes,

because it's called Twisters. Yeah, so you're thinking it's a lot. So you're thinking it's going to be about two, or at least multiple. Well, blame Ridley Scott or James Cameron for that. There's only one time when there's two tornadoes at once, and the whole thing is just that they say, which should we go to?

And they go to one of them and the other one goes away. It's never two at a time. Damn, that's annoying. Can you answer me? You should sue for false advertisement. Do they fight the tornadoes? They put chemical... An anti-tornado chemical?

They invent this movie. Here's what I'll say about Twisters. What it did better than Twister. It's cold in here. It's really cold. What Twister, I told you guys, I see we've had, I guess we've talked about Twister before too. Yeah.

This one is about trying to map a tornado. And they go, oh, it's a spiral. Wow. At least in Twisters, they have a goal, which is let's make a new medicine for tornadoes where they, to stop them. We can throw it in and the tornado disappears. Which at the very least, that makes sense to want to do.

Yeah. That makes some sense rather than just mapping a tornado. It's not logical, I don't think. No, did we already talk about... It makes sense, but it's not real. Maybe. That's what this movie was. It was about anti-tornadoes.

Does a tornado rotate clockwise or anti-clockwise? It rolls in a circle. It goes on a path. Is a circle clockwise? Depend. You want to get into this? You really want to do this. You got time, man.

We got time. Yes. How do you draw a circle? Draw a circle right now. And don't fucking do it some fucked up way that you don't normally do it. I'm not going to do it any weird way.

I wonder which way I would normally draw a circle. I don't even think about it. Okay, so you draw it clockwise. Can I try? Uh-oh. Let me just get it. Yeah. So a circle...

That's the new... That's how I would draw it. You don't know what counterclockwise is? No, I'm just saying this might be the new type of Myers-Briggs-type test or something. Oh, yeah. This could be like a new... Yeah, I do it clockwise.

Okay. That's interesting that I do a counter... Or not Myers-Briggs, but left-brain, right-brain. Circle, circle. Circle-brain versus counter-circle brain. Did you guys know that in the U.K.? We already talked about this, never mind. Okay.

In the UK, they don't have... No, they say that... In the UK, they don't have a president. We would be on the... We would be on... That's true. They have a minister. They have a minister.

A minister! We would be on the ground floor and they're on the first floor? That makes the most sense. Did we talk about that? That doesn't make any sense. We're on the ground. We're on the ground. level but that's not the first floor that is the second floor my friend no that's the first

okay so what's that the ground no the ground is underneath it what am i pointing at the ground no don't be obtuse with me don't be on the side of the britsman then don't give me this sexy face what am i ground baby you're not a secret agent the ground baby we should do a version of austin powers that's an american who goes over yeah yeah you can be called James And gets, has promiscuous sex with their

James. James. Bone. James Bone. They should make a porn parody where he's called James Boned.

James Burger. I have a license to get fucked by you. I have a license to fuck you motherfucker. Well, he's James Boned. He gets boned.

I have a license to get fucked. Investment, crypto and stock trading. Say it again. Investment, crypto and stock trading. You were

You weren't rocking with James Bohn? You don't think we could have done a little bit on James Bones? Actually, no, I'd like to invest in James Bone. Oh, okay, there we go. We're investing in James Bond. I'm buying at the very bottom. I like my male organ, shaken, not stirred. I'd like my butt hole.

Shaken. I like my butthole pounded. I'd like my gut, not washed. Like my gut stirred, not shaken. He's nasty. He wants to get fucked. He has to get fucked. Yeah, he wants to get fucked.

They send Austin Powers over here. And we send James Bones. A really perverted guy who was trying to get stuff in his bum? Yeah. It could be his mouth. And he could be like, it could be like Dr. No Condom. There we go. That could be a good.

Doctor, oh, yeah, that's good. Condomai. It's like jaws. It could be balls. Yeah. And he's got bit balls that are steel. Oh, he has truck nuts sitting off at the top of his mouth. There we go.

Okay. Now, James Bone. Awesome pussy. Condomai. No, disgusting. Awesome pussy. No. Did it was it?

Oh, octopus. Awesome pussy. Yeah. Awesome pussy. well moon is butt already but what do we moon moon taker

he takes the moon fucker moon fucker yeah yeah that what kind of works what other ones are there yeah thanks Julio so I thought this was a make-em-up one

huh that's what he told me earlier whoops I missed another slide god damn man what man I was on vacation, bro. Anywhere on vacation. Come on, come me some slack.

That makes me not happy to hear that we only have two slideshers for this next. We got to wait until 10. We got Thomas coming. We got to wait until 10.15, man. Yeah, we got Thomas coming. It's all.

It's completely fine. Well, let's keep going to. Well, no, that's what I'm saying, why don't, if we're waiting on Thomas, we'll be able to talk freely and have fun with him. Yeah. Why do we not just do the content now?

Yeah, let's do it. Right. Cenehole, fuck owls. Wait, never mind. Let's keep doing it. Cassine hole Fuck ass Okay

Instead of Specter The butt inspector There we go Okay What do I know about James Bond Doctor yes in my butt Mm-hmm

Doctor no Not my mouth Yes in my butt Doctor no not my mouth Has a scary My balls To it No not my mouth

Yes in my Balls Oh like Man my bong hole What other James Just look up James Bond

Let's just do the we're not done we're not done dude i gotta cut you off on james bone i'm sorry it's getting too crass what would be impressive about james boned would be and again it's james boned not james bone

yeah what would be impressive about james boned is it's a porn parody series where they do like a hundred movies over like a million years starting back in the 60s yeah it's uh instead of and they keep switching out the actor but it's like who's gonna be the next james bone Yeah, instead of die another day, it's guys, I'm fucking gay.

Wait, is that like him telling his family? Yeah. Guys, I'm fucking gay. And they're like, we know you're James Bond. We saw the last 10 movies. You're James Bone. Dun it. Bon.

Dun it. And then the circles is butthole. Agent Double Hole heaven. Yeah. Oh, my God. I'm like, God. This is, it just writes itself. James Boned.

Okay. What problem do you have against James Bohn? I did have, not even a problem. You had a problem. I felt left out. You had an issue. I'll be completely honest. I'll explain it to you.

I'll explain it to you. And then I got it. And then I got it. I get it now. James Boned is a secret agent who sneaks into situations where he has to get fucked. Yeah. Now I'm waiting. He puts on a disguise.

It just has sex with people. He doesn't have sex. He gets fucked. He gets boned. He never. looks at the camera and says, looks like I got James Bones today. I got James Boned on this one.

He's saying his name. He looks at the camera. James Boned. Oh, yeah. They take off the disguise. Who are you? He says, I'm James Bones. And you can have sex with me if you want.

And they say, yeah, I know. I just fucked you. James Bones. Oh, wait, that's your name. I'm boned. What? That's what you say. I'm a secret agent.

I'm bone. Yep, I'm a secretation James Bone There's one that we're forgetting, though There's more movies that we're forgetting No time to die More time for guys Yeah, there we go

Well, he doesn't have to just get fucked by guys No, he's getting fucked by everything He's just basically animals Well, he comes out In guys I'm fucking gay Oh, because they don't even know these Yeah, they had an idea. I'm fucking gay.

Oh, well, he comes out and guys, I'm fucking your day. But before that, he's like, yeah, well, I don't know. He's still experimenting. Yeah, I don't know if I am yet. Guys, I'm fucking gay. A secret agent, tell me. I can't wait to tell Thomas after this year. He's going to have a real good time.

It's a time. I love a movie. James Boned. Can we look up a list of James Bond movies? Yeah, we just pull up a list of James Bond movies. Oh, my God. James Boned. Okay, from Russia with love.

In my butt. From Russia with love. Goldfinger, brown finger. Yeah. Thunderball. Underballs. You only gizz twice. You only jizz nice.

On her majesty's royal service. on her majesty's that doesn't even yeah it's a secret oh secret service oh I couldn't read it um on diamonds are forever guy friends are forever

the guy who loved me jizz and just die jiz in my eye for four guys only the spy who loved me is the guy who fucked me that's too odd that that can be the first one

not even though it's not the first one in continuity that can be the first one to introduce people to the series this is what James Boned is about for me guys only for your eyes only Quantum of solace

I forgot about quantum of solace That movie's not good I didn't even see that one That one's fucking boring We still are doing movies and TV talk Yeah Wow so we're sticking to the hat topic The world is not enough

Specter Quantum of solace This one is the world is not enough A girl is not enough I need a guy Cartons of Spillage Cartman. Carman of my village.

Cartman is the goddess. I'm the carpment of his village. I'm the carment of my village. What if you, what if you sailed across, what have you sailed across the, like a river to meet an uncount, like a tribe he thought was uncontacted.

You're like, I'm going to go meet up with them. I'm going to show them iPhone. And there's one guy who comes up and he's like, oh, nice to me. Oh, yeah, you're from America. Yeah, I'm actually the cartman of my village. How do you know what Cartman is?

How do you know Carmen? And then here comes them with a torch walking through a cave and we're seeing all the petroglyphs. Yes, apparently he came here a thousand years ago. I thought you were saying that like you go to another country and then you see a guy there

who's who is Cartman. Who's wearing brown pants, red jacket, blue hat. And you say you got to be doing it on purpose. And he's like, oh, are you like, are you dressed like Cartman? And then he just looks at you and goes like, loo, he says,

Blu-blah-blah! Blu-W-W-W-W-W-W. So you're in Star Wars? Yeah, I'm doing just a... I'm doing a made-up language. You're doing Blu-Blo-Blo-Bu. I'm doing Blu-Blo, blah, blah. From planet, blah, blah, blah.

It's from planet, blah, blah, blah. Okay, we can start them now. All right. Who wants to go first? I can go first. So, guys, it's 10 o'clock. And in fact, it's 10-10. Oh, it's 10-12.

We'll say it's 10-10. Make a wish. I wish tonight never ends. The top tens of 10 with T, and T's kind of. He's coming. He's coming. He's going to open the door right now. Oh, I thought you have sight of the door, so I thought that you were timing that right. Stop, that's not. You're tricking me. Sorry. Let's read this top ten that I have pulled up here. This is top ten funniest quotes and sayings. There are too many of them for them not to be put in a list.

True as fuck. And it's from anonymous. List. Name of our podcast. Top tens. That's where it all started. I hate when old people poke you at a wedding and say, you're next. So next time I was at a funeral, I poked them and said, you're next. Wait, sorry. Is that a Jimmy car joke? Oh, that does sound dark. It sounds dark enough to be on. I hate when old people poke you at a wedding and say, you're next.

You're next. You're next. So next time I was at a funeral, poke them and said, you're next. What? Why does he never use a microphone? I don't know. Pisses me on. Well, he has to do this.

Yes. You. Yeah. You are next. Yeah. But this is, you're at the same wedding and funeral with all these old people? That's what I'm saying, man. Well, it's auntie.

What? Yeah, it's auntie. It's, it's grainy. There's comments. There's comments on all these. So here's a comment on this. I laughed like a crow. Okay.

We know what that sounds like. It's not funny to think about elders dying. It's sad. I just want them all to be taking care of in a good home and a good family. So shut up. You people are next on my death list. Now just stop. Oh, my God.

Until dawn eight. And that's, I think, beautiful. I think that much of love and your heart for a disgusting, wrinkly, old sack of shit. No, man. You know, one day you're going to be these wrinkled geysers.

One day, and I'm saying way down the line, you will start to lose your looks. I'll lose my life? Use your looks. And then maybe you lose your life. No, you're going to be ugly. If you lose your luck, we're screwed. Yeah.

I don't have that good of luck. This whole operation's been running on your luck. Don't fuck this up. I'm sorry. Yeah. I think about that. I think there's another comment. this is Harlaioys

This is Harlarioes H-A-R-L-A-R-I-O-S Harlaria-Y-S Hilaria-Y-E-R-L-A-R-R-E-E-E-R-E-E-E-E-R-E-E-E-E-L-E-E-E-E-S-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-S-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-R-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E. We are officially 10 hours and 15 minutes in welcome and here's your burger and we got you a burger our friend shy came and dropped him off

look at that real you're a pro wow I'll open them all thank you man you are the goat you actually are the goat I need this right now do you want to hit some smelling salts again sure yeah this is what we've been running on basically all day let me get a little something to me first

oh man wowie gosh yes my friends to 10 hours to 10 hours and not even two more left yeah squeaker happened there i don't know what that squeak was either i think we have a mouse in the studio all right a mouse just walked in oh not me not your ass bro uh so right now thomas we're doing the top 10 funniest quotes and sayings just before we get started again i didn't know there were any corner stores around here and i missed my transfer bus so i walked with that beer on my head for half a mile

and there's like there's like a bunch of corner stores next to here yeah there's a lot of places man but at a certain point I was like I kind of want to keep it on my head and just gonna see whoa so I just had it on my head for like 15 minutes truly the biggest trooper right now really are man we've been just sitting for 12 hours it was funny because I was like right behind the bus and I was like trying to sprint after the bus for like three blocks and I bus driver would like slow down and I'd start to catch you back you that's rude

that's so fucked up is what it is so yeah yeah I'm glad you're here yeah we would want nobody else for number 10 yeah all right number two here or next these are the what's the top 10 funniest quotes and sayings top 10 funniest quotes and sayings to get you up to speed here Thomas oh let's go next here I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades demetri martin see okay now I think that the first joke actually was a jimmy car thing like if they're putting demitry martin in at number two here's a comment on it my two goats if only my grandma were to play charades, good riddance.

That's fucking up. Damn. That's crazy. You say, let's fuck it up. What'd you say? Let's fuck it up. Let's get grandma. Do you guys like charades?

That could be fun. Yeah. I haven't played in a long while. Should we do a charades night? You do charades night. That's a good idea. That is a good night. That's a good night.

12 hours. You want to do a 24 hours? Let's make you 13. The second 12 hours of charades. I was thinking we. Danny Lanky. This into 12 hours of freestyling into 12 hours

of shirt yeah that's a free styling extremely powerful 36 hours what do we do before oh we got to tell them about James Bond yeah we can get to that we can get to that we got to tell next comment here is

oh next thing hurricanes are like women when they come they're wet and wild but when they leave they take your house and car this is a shirt I think my uncle had now let's look at the comment here I think it deserves to be number one

but if you have never gotten a girl wet before you wouldn't understand this brilliant and true statement. Wow. That is true as fuck. Yeah, it just sort of squirts ever out of them. It just gets remotely aroused. It just all of them. It looks like it.

It looks so stupid. You got to evacuate. They're on a date and it just, they flood everything. It's all the goo everywhere. It's so stupid. You're the second girl that's happened with. Your pussy is awful. You have to be insured for this.

Yeah. If you've never gotten a girl horny before, you wouldn't know. You wouldn't understand that. Yeah, you just would not understand. Here, the next comment here is, it's funny, God forbid, happened to my son years ago. What? He got a girl wet?

My son got, God forbid my son got a girl wet years ago. I'm imagining a guy who's been watching this for 10 hours and 15 minutes and then I get on and he's like, nope, that's the last fucking shot. First 10 hours and 15 minutes were fucking solid, and then Thomas came on to ruin it. I like your shirt, man. Thank you. And what's it say?

I hurt my? I hurt New York. Yeah. I got it in Times Square a few years ago, and then I took a picture with Batman wearing it. Oh my God, that was badass, dude. Yeah, and then he harassed me until I gave him money.

Yeah, that's how I remember that. Classic Mexican Batman. Yeah. Well, he's Mexican in the movies. They don't talk about that. You don't see his parents are dead. Bruce Wanier. Your model is master wing.

My next, the next quote is, I was asked to name all the presidents. I thought they already had names, Dimitri Martin. And a commenter says, funny. This Dimitri Martin guy's hilarious. Respect to this guy.

This guy's about to go on a YouTube journey that I am very much. This is going to change this kid's life. Next one is a boy looked into his parents' bedroom saying, and she gets mad when I suck my thumb. Hey, she gets mad when I suck my thumb. But there she's in their sucking cock. Comment, though, disagrees, says,

Who raised you like that? That is legit disturbing. And someone else says, next time, don't do something awkward and stupid. That's displeased everybody. Doge for a life game.

It would be awesome if that guy actually, like, was one of the early guys in on Doge. And so, like, I had like $300 million. Yeah. Um, quit being a derp.

How about that? Uh, the next one is, don't steal. The government hates competition. Yeah. That's a nice one. Can you print that out for me?

I like that one. Let's put that up right here. Commenter says, and this might have been Caleb commenting, I like this one because it's absolutely true. By the way, I'm 13, and this joke is understandable, even at this age.

Somebody else said, funny, and I'm only 12. Third person said, I'm 10 and I get it. That's sick. Dang, that 10-year-old's got some chops. I thought I had more, but I guess only have one more after this,

Which is, once you accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy. Albert Einstein. Clashing. Wow. That's a beautiful scientific quote. Yeah. And a commenter says, oh, Einstein, you are so hot.

Wow. Wow, that's interesting. And that's my top tens. That's an interesting theory proposed by Einstein. Wait, you are looking like an Einstein. Two pencils? Well. Ambidextrous.

You know, it's going to be even more interesting. What, man? Is my top tens. Okay. Reddish you to me. think Einstein ever had two ideas at one time? No, not even started writing them both in at one time

when he couldn't even read it like a fucking silly that he had, well, he did have that. He had the idea first. He was like, oh my God, M.C. squared. Wait, I'm thinking of something else right now. E. E. E. Einstein. E. Wait. Einstein equals M.C. squared.

I remember this from, this is one of the only things I remember ever doing on the podcast from maybe the first year. Back when it was only million beers podcast. Yeah. I remember very strongly saying that Einstein wrote equals MC squared

because it stands for Einstein equals mega cool that's true it's probably where he started and he was like someone was like we'll prove it

and he said squared watch this freaking out doing all the math that's how people sell when they do that

he must have been possessed to let such a universal truth into the world that boy was he was possessed like a like a really good on-the-radar

for a head dial where people are like, yo, he was possessed on that shit. That was him doing E equals MC squared popping off. Everybody's going to crazy.

All right. So this first list that I found Let's get down to business. I couldn't use it. We don't have all the time in the world. We don't. We have literally

half hour. No, man. The last thing is not going to take the four hours. Okay. Well, this is the top toe. This is a list

that didn't have a lot of good stuff on it, but this is the top 10 people and characters who should fart on whoopy gold for. Oh my. And the number one voted person who should was Harvey Weinstein.

Why do people hate Whoopi Goldberg? I don't know. She said something about the Holocaust. Oh, is that why? Didn't she say something crazy about the Holocaust? She said something weird about it. There's a thing with Ted Danson, too, where he went to, like, a party as Whoopi Goldberg. Yeah, was her friars club roast.

He was like in, he was. So people hate her for that. Ted Denson, like, was in Blackface, and he was, like, mocking her and people were like, Whoopi Goldberg is kind of a bitch. now they're they dating too they were dating and then uh it's like most handsome guy ever with like bleh he should be with you man no dude i already have a girlfriend that would be cheating yeah i'm not gonna cheat on my girlfriend with whoopee goldberg no or try to make me don't even try to make me ted dancing if i if i put you and whoopi goldberg in a room fold you would fold

She's in the good place, right? I don't know what else she's in. No, Ted Danson is in the good place. I thought they were both in the good place. No, no, no. I don't think so. She's in the bad place. The view.

Oh, my gosh. That's hard. Wow. 10 hours in there's still got it. Next slide. This is a list that didn't have anything good on it, but the name was really good. Best ages to get pregnant. I like that they have the full category breakdown.

This is under all top. list, lifestyle, stages of life, best ages to get pregnant. I think the number one on that was like 25 and all the comments were just like, yeah, pretty good. Yeah, nothing going wrong there. 16, you get a TV show about yourself. That's true. You have to be famous.

I think number two was one. It's a miracle. Yeah. One is a real miracle. We're so happy. Our one-year-old is pregnant. It's a full miracle. But the list is top 10 shocking and embarrassing things that you wouldn't want to happen to

you ever. Number one, you do a sword fight scene and a school play thinking that is fake, but after you finish the play, you come to know a minor error made by the proper part and they brought real swords instead of fake ones by mistake. And then you accidentally kill your friend. That would be embarrassing. That would shock me. That would be shocking and embarrassing. I would honestly go home from school and I would feel like fucking shit. If I killed someone at school, my friend is so good at acting, wow.

That he died. They fucking made blood come out of him. He made blood and died. I would be fucked up off that shit. You're going to have to teach me how to do that. Dude. In the scene where I put a fake sword in my friend's butt, something went wrong.

Number two was, you order a glass of lemonade at a restaurant, you were about to drink it, and when you see a person dying instantly after he takes one sip of his lemon made and he ordered it before you. For us and you. I do like that you're reading at the pace of people regularly.

It's not even that bad. You order it. a glass of lemonade. The cadence of talking really fast. You order a glass of lemonade. You order a glass of lemonade at a restaurant. You're about to drink it when you see a person dying instantly after he takes one sip

of his lemonade he had ordered before you. Would you... Would you... This happened at Panera. I want to get a jump start on ordering lemonade. That's what he gets. He beat you.

And then you got poison. He got poisoned for... trying to one-up you, man. Well, yeah, that's how this would be embarrassing. Can I get the limited of life, not the lemonade of death, please. I would order.

Sir, there's been a mistake. This would be a good scene in a movie, and they could do when Harry Met Sally, and he could say, I'll have what he's not having. Why is that line never been used? That was a cut line from that scene

when they say, I'll have what she's having. It was originally, they also panned over to a woman who ate something and died. Or just a woman who ate something and didn't have anything happen? Yeah. And he said,

and I won't have, and I won't have what she said. having. Yes. To clarify, I want what Sally's having. Yes.

And I know her. I know her. And I'm her brother. And I'm a boy. And I want a nut too. I'm ready to nut. Waiter. I'm ready to nut.

Bring me the food that makes it be nut. First time at a restaurant. It's the only movie you've ever seen. Guy who was supposed to be in that scene. And when Harry met Sally just skim the lines, kind of paraphrasing them in his brain, not remembering the exact line saying,

All right, waiter, I'm ready to nut. Bring me the food that made her nut. One nut food. I'll have the food that makes you nut. You make a lot of money selling that shit out of a taco truck in East LA. Oh, yeah. Next slide.

You're preparing actively for your first ever date with your crush, but when you visit the place where you promise to meet your girlfriend at, you see her and your brother having a lip-lock kiss. And that would be an even worse situation If this was a girl's situation That'd be hot as fuck

You see some of your girl kissing your sister What's nice? Wait, no I take that back What's a lip-lock kiss? That's when you lick Can you can I'll teach you

I'll teach your house right now. Compared to another. You never have, you never been kissed if you haven't had a lip lock kiss. It's where they got to peel you off with the jaws of life. I'm a firefighter.

That's what I'll do to you. That's where you hold the back of their heads so they can't get on. Yeah. We're lip locking. Nope. Our lips are completely stuck. That's a moving M.M.A.,

the lip lock. Yeah. It was so funny in elementary school when you'd put glue on your lips and then you'd kiss a big, boobed babe, and then she would be stuck to you. Yep.

Then you got a child session. I kind of hated that. It wasn't my favorite, but we had to do it all the time. It's part of the right of passage. Next slide. You and your pet visit your friend's house. He shows you his prize science project model, which he made after working day and night for 20 days.

Your pet completely destroys it. Dude, this type of shit's always happened when me and my pet visit my friend's house. Absolutely. I'm coming to visit. Can I bring my raucous pet? I'm coming to visit. Can my pet come? Yeah.

Don't have your prized model out. Me and my pet are visiting. Can I bring my rowdy horse? Yeah. Can we hang out by your... Seriously, dude, though. You better not have another prized science project model. Because I'm bringing my pet on my visit.

I'm bringing my horse. Hide the anatomy of the carrot. Anatomy of the carrot. This is the stem. It took 20 days to make a big carrot. I don't want him. This is the orange part. My God, he's kicked my orange part.

My pet bugs bunny is coming with me. Give me another beer, man. Yes, sir. I need beer. We got one hour to finish all these. And we're going to do it. You drink the whole glass of juice and then find a dead lizard at the bottom of that glass. Comment from Positron Wildhawk.

I found a wasp at the bottom of my glass once. There was orange juice across the floor as a result. Luckily, the wasp was dead. I was thankful because I don't fancy drinking vinegar. Oh, my God. You know what I would say? I would say, oh, hello Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Because she, you know, because of politics.

Damn. Wait, what? What does vinegar mean? The vinegar is a cleaning solution. She'd be the lizard. She'd be the lizard. Oh, I. Because of politics.

For real? What is the, what does this mean? Luckily, the wasp was dead. I was thankful because I don't. Oh, vinegar probably cures a wasp sting. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. It cleansed it out.

It cleans the wasp. I just remember, so you can actually eat it. I just remembered why I've never had Mountain Dew, which is that Chad, when we were kids, drank a lot of Mountain Dew, and one time he told me he opened a Mountain Dew bottle, and there was a fly inside the bottle, and he drank the fly. I would drink it. Whenever my family lived in Virginia, they lived up in, like, the Blue Ridge Mountains kind of. And there was this, like, hillbilly family they knew that would put Mountain Dew, like, in baby bottles.

and like give it to their like toddlers and all their toddlers had like rotten baby teeth it was incredible dude I had a mountain dew for the first time and it I felt insane for like two and a half hours today have you ever had the red one the fruit punch one the Bahab or the cold red that's the only one I have a code red energy drink

oh really and I drink one of those at work one time and I hadn't really had water all day and there was something very pleasant about it just working out in the heat. No water, just red in your body. You're red 40. Everything red. Yeah.

Red teeth, right everything. Yeah. Next one. You enter your dad's room in a state of fury and see an ordinary looking earth and pot in front of you, smashing it for cooling down your anger.

The next day you see your family weeping when your dad tells you that it was an expensive Japanese face worth $9,000. I need this earthen pot. I need this to be the plod. of a movie. I would see this movie in the theater

eight times. If this was a 90-minute movie, this is the full plot of movie. A family drama about a kid who breaks an earthen pot and it turns out it's a Japanese 9,000. God. I'm in a state of fury. What an incredible opening sentence. You enter your dad's room in a state of fury and see an

ordinary looking earthen pot in front of you. Yeah, it's such a beautiful sentence. Bro, again, if your dad knows you're in a furious mood, you shouldn't be leaving out his earth and pot. Yeah, I'm going into your room. It's just as beautiful as this next sentence. Also, you open the door of the bathroom

of your house, then see your math teacher pooping. Why is he in my house? That would be the first question. Maybe he checked in your house to talk about your performance to your parents when he got a really bad one. He was a return home, man. He wasn't pooping. He's about to have bought him for your dad and he's getting ready. Preping.

Okay, well, I was getting the butt out. Well, is my dad still married to my mom or is he single? Both. They're Polly or something. Oh, well, then that's, I wouldn't have a big problem Yeah, it's not so big a deal. Anyway, I walk in on somebody being polite. Oh, I mean, speaking of all this,

maybe now's the time of we're washing his ass. If my teacher fuck my dad, I wouldn't have to still wear a tie, though. Yeah, he's still my teacher. For a pocket protector. You know how weird it is when you see the teacher in the normal clothes? That shit is weird as fuck. He's still got, yeah, he's still got a, like, the phone case that mounts to the wall. Yeah, and if he's given me a report card, he's giving my dad a report card.

That's right. see the letter grade for the... This is a good time to talk about James Bone. Yeah, I was going to say, this is... It gets a B for butt. Everyone just gets a B in it, you were in my butt. D for, D, B for your dad's butt. The principal is like, what, these aren't great.

And you get, I-L-Y-D-B, I like your dad's butt. I-F-Y-D-B. I-F-Y-D-B. I-Fed your dad's butt. This is a less than symbol and a 3 dB. So Sonnet says this week you're thankful for me effing your dad's B. If we can not talk about it at school,

that would be G. Good. Teacher slang. Yeah. I got to give out some G's this afternoon. Grades. They probably grade everything, man. They have to. They're in the teacher's lounge,

talking about girls they hooked up with. C plus, B-prinous. It was like a 79. Oh, these are a C-plus cup. Teacher boobs. Teacher boobs. Teach-boops. For a boy, you can't hold your pee any longer

and dash into the nearby restroom and open your trouser zip, sudden you hear your loud screams of a group of girls. What kind of... They were trapped in his pants. How big is your damn dick? Let me out. You open your pants.

No, they don't want to get out. They're scared by the sudden light. They're not a tunnel in there. Close out. They're like a swarm of hats. They're sitting upside down like bats on your weenie. Yeah. Ew.

Help his penis is surprising. There's something weird about it. It's the most surprising penis in the world. Number nine Your parents go for a holiday trip without you You're overjoyed And visit your friend's house

The next day for a sleepover After returning home You see that your house Has already been robbed by burglars Your parents return Your house has already been robbed by burglars Have you ever been? Your parents return

I feel like you got robbed once When? You're Don't worry about it What's gonna happen? No actually I'm thinking of my dad Oh My dad's house

Yeah. My dad's house got robbed. Mark it. Mark it. 1035, he says that I remind him of his dad. No, you don't, man. He looks at me as a father. No, man, you're not my dad. Fuck you. I'm going to change his boy's life.

These guys stole his laptop and his ferns, his plants. Well, you know, fern is the oldest plant on the planet. Who did he get robbed by a dinosaur? He didn't know what that was. Give me that website and those plans I don't think they ever found out actually Your dad has a special website He was on Dinosaur.com

He was looking at a picture of a T-Rex and it's shining as And it triceratops passed by it was like, ah! Give me that laptop. That's scary. You can't be looking

at this shit. You can't be looking at this predator shit. You're a predator, aren't you? And I'm taking you first. He's trying to type on it, but he's like,

it's too close. Dude, can you imagine being, can you imagine being a stegosaurus and you're sitting watching Harley Quinn and the Birds of Prey and the movie theater? And you're like sitting relaxing

and you just see like a T-Rex walk in the movie theater. Oh my God. And just, like, kind of stand in the back and just like... I would literally get the... T-Rex is, like, mugging you. Yeah, it's looking around. It would be like that scene from the departed where they run through Chinatown,

except everybody's getting trampled by a big-ass dinosaur. It would be scary as fuck. The movies would be crazy. Dude, what if you found an egg? Like a dino egg? Yeah. Would you crack it? Crack that shit up and make a big-ass omelet?

For real, I would... For real, I would make an omelet. A dino omelet? I don't think of a fucking about seeing a dinosaur. Can we make a wizard omelet? next week? And it was a dinosaur baby in there and he would and I'd have to run. What if you

would have you said your name immediately? Patrick Doran. Hello. I've been expecting you. Do you guys want to make a lizard omelet next week? Yeah. I'm strangely down. I want to do it. Yeah, I want to do it badly. How big is a lizard egg? Like this big? There must be some that get big. I think it depends on the lizard.

Komodo dragon. Yeah, that's got to be the biggest one. Got to be in danger. That's got to be disgusting to eat. It probably is because they're eating. Yeah, they eat roosters and they're They eat goots I've seen one I don't know they ain't I really didn't mean to say goose

They eat gooch Oh no I hate this I keep following in the pit Run away everybody I'll see it I'll hold it off Help Help help

Help me Camuso dragon is not into it at all. It's just like, it's poisoning you. I'm on top of the Comodon Dr. Help! He's just looking around. He's trying to make me come. You're a bastard.

I'll never do it. Everybody. I'm edging. You won't make me. You won't make me. She's like, all right. What horrible luck I just painted my toes white this morning. and I was going to lick them

with his horrible tongue. Great, they're blue. Great, they're periwinkle blue now. God. Great, now it's cloacas all over me. Do they have a cloaca? Do they? Probably they're lizards. Yeah. All lizards have a cloaca or no?

I know owls do. I read a book about this lady who had a pet owl and then in the middle it's like very heartfelt. There's like a great book and in the middle of it, the owl just tries to fuck her arm. he's like rubbing on her and she's like oh and he just like ejaculates on her arm I okay cool I read a book when I was a kid about about a guy who went to go see a bunch of different endangered species and he went and saw an endangered parrot and it fucked his head and jizzed on his head what you mean it fucked his head was a type of parrot

it was I don't know remember what type of parrot I read this book when I was probably what two years old yeah that's cap that's cap but I read it when I was it I believed you you get your head fucked by a parrot and then tell people And here's the thing. Here's the thing. I think this was in the book. It was a bit of a humorous book. It was kind of a drive for the humorist's book.

I think it was actually written by Douglas Adams. And then the book fucked me. That's so much. It would have to be a Jimmy Carr or Ricky Jervais. Yeah. I think this was mentioned in the book, but here's the thing is that this is an endangered parrot. So you kind of have a responsibility, I think,

to preserve its jizz after it jizz is on your head. It's like you never know. Now you have to keep that jizz. You're in the lab and they're scraping your jizz into a fucking petri dish. Is this Ricky Jervates? It's car. It's car. It's car.

It's car. It's going to be Jervais. Really? Yeah. I saw car. I see, I see car. Me too. Right.

So, okay. I was trying to fuck this bird, but I guess you can't do that anymore. I guess I get canceled if I tried to do that now. If I'm in the rainforest and I'm, I'm, I'm, it's a bird in his butt. Yeah. Thank you, Ricky. Thank you, Ricky. You don't even touch your burger, man.

This is fucking cold. Cairs, man. It's good. Put it in your pocket. It'll warm it up. Give it that. You want to see a beer? Here's one.

What the hell? Savage. Do you have a savage button? No. Same one. The same button all day. Wait, what's... I went on a podcast this weekend.

I kept asking them during it about what these were called. Buttons? Soundboard. I always wonder what that was. you can probably look into getting one. I know it's just been sort of an aspirational type thing and have you looked at how much they cost or anything? No, just always not be cool to press a button

in the middle of recording. It is cool as fuck. Are these all just sound effects? Yeah, you can press any of these. Except the top left one I think is random. That's kind of, I'm going to put you on the better page. This is a better page. Okay, before I, this is me.

Whenever I see something I don't. like you're playing roulette oh my god okay hit another one is this is me when I see something that um they gives me going okay and I know arouse oh yeah yeah I don't get her stupid wait clean the page clean the page hit another one okay this is me when I see something that makes me Depressed. Really sad. I saw you go over that button. That's perfect.

We'll get the audio removed. That one plays long. That's true. We got to cut that one short. Yeah. All right. Finish this list so we can go to the hat, man. Damn!

You and your friends decide to play dirty pranks on strangers. You play one really dirty prank on one who was walking down the street. Next day, he visits your house and you find that. that he's a distant relative to your parents. Why would they give a fuck if he's a distant relative? Is there any more to keep looking through? I play the sexual break on my cousin. That's the only reason.

Getting your period at school and you don't have pads. Happened to me thrice. That's the next one. You wake up on the street and you find yourself wearing a Dora diaper and then you see that you have a 10 feet afra that's pink and then you were told you were sleepwalking. Damn, Mike Barbiglia. Being a boycott wearing a bra.

Next. Pooping your pants while having a period. Next. Your mom figures out that you wet the bed and makes you wear diapers and plastic at see-through pants. That's it. Damn.

That's top tens, bro. All right. Look, you've been wetting the bed. You've been waiting the bed. You've got to wear pants where I can see your balls and wiener. I can see the bee come out of there. You better not.

I need to inspect the mechanism of your pee and make sure it's all functioning correctly. I'm going to weigh your we need to make sure no pee came out of there. I'm going to wear your we need. I'm going to wear your weenie I'm going to wear your poop I'm going to wear your poop

I wore weanies like yours in prison son you've been peeing the bed a lot these past few months and it's really tough for me I got to wash the sheets every night I don't want to have to do that so I'm going to take your wiener for a few weeks

don't worry I'll treat it well and I'm going to pee with it into the toilet not on the bed it goes in the sock drawer and we're going to just take it for a while okay until And you'll get it back.

On your birthday. On your birthday. Next year. All right. I have an amazing topic for us. Okay. This is a good one. What is the next big thing in the art world?

So, Thomas, what is the next big thing in the art world? What's the next big thing? I don't care about the bird. The next big thing in the art world? Mm-hmm. A really tall guy. That is so... Oh, my God.

I can see it right now. Yep. You go to the MoMA, the Museum of Modern Art, and there's a room where you just get to see a very tall guy. And he'll be so tall you can be in the outside of the room and you'll see him. Really? Maybe. There's a stairwell. That's very tall.

And you can walk up. Yeah. He's in the middle of a spiral staircase and you walk up his body. He's only like 6'5, but you walk up his body a couple of stairs. Based on the exhibit of a guy who's six foot. There's like a guy that is taller than him. And he's like, he keeps pushing him.

Yeah, people are looking at the guy who's even taller to go, no, that's not the guy. You know when, yeah, you know what, you know what,

you know what, you know what I'm here to see this guy. A living statue, like those videos where the people were like a living statue to like lose their cool because someone's like messing with them and they like yell at them

or slap him or something. I love those. Just the guy, yeah, the tall guy is standing there all day and a guy, and a guy, like he's six two and a guy walks in,

and he just, smacks up outside of the head. Fuck you. That's a good idea. He doesn't. He still doesn't talk. All right. What's the next topic? Asia.

These were on the list. Asia was on the list of 100. These are these are podcast topics for me. I may have taken some liberties with what words I included. But everything I saw is. And keep in mind with some of us don't really know what some of these about, you know. You don't know what Asia is? I'm just saying some of us might not.

Some people, yeah, I guess that's true. Some viewers might not know. So, Thomas, why don't you explain for the viewers who might not know exactly what? Asia is a very misty, very mountainous place, and it's got a lot of mysteries, a lot of, there's a lot of industry going along, but mostly a lot of secrets. And there's a panda bear there, and his name is Po. And every year- They're describing it like it's on like an ancient map where this thing just drew clouds over it because they didn't know it was there. clouds there and there's a lot of bamboo

there's a lot of rice and there's a lot of people there and some of them are amazing and others just like anywhere others others are bad but it's mostly good

kind of a Thomas Pedia that we're doing yeah yeah um okay anybody else is are these all for me yeah now they are I just I just remember you guys have been talking for like 11 hours so I'm like okay I get I can talk for an hour, but I was like, surely you guys want to talk more, right?

I'll talk with you about this one. Christmas is coming up. And this goes... What are you going to get for people? Yeah, what are you going to get? What do you want to get for Christmas? What do I want? What does Thomas want?

People never fucking ask that, do they? It's always just what I want for Thomas. It's what do they want because they know I have money. Yeah. What do I want for Christmas? Tell me, man. Tell me the list. I, so this is a boring answer, but I'll be actually honest.

Yeah, tell me the real shit. I, like my father, do not like getting gifts that much on Christmas. In a way, I do, but I hate getting, like, gifts that take up space. I feel what I mean. Yeah. Because I feel like, I feel like, yeah. I feel like all I ever get is, like, like, my mom will get me close from, like, the banana. Republic. So she'll get it on a clearance sale for like $5 a sweater. And she'll get me like

six sweaters. And I don't really wear sweaters. And then my girlfriend's mom will find the same sale and also buy me a bunch of sweaters from the sale. And I appreciate it. But then I have like 10 sweaters and I don't. It's tough, man. I don't, I don't accept this very well. And I like, it's tough. If I find something where I'm like, this would make a great gift, I feel good about giving but when I like half-ass it and I'm like yeah this is like an iTunes gift card 24 Christmas I feel like a piece of shit

like sometimes like my little brother will get me something and I will forget that it's Christmas one year I got him a fitted cap and it was like an inch and a half too big on his head damn not fitted like you can't be a dead a dead beat brother

unfitted I uh yeah I have like I think I have like I think I have $100 on my iTunes store credit because for the last five years Mr. Matt DeVita, my uncle has given me $20. You got to start buying some movies. Buy yourself a movie. That's literally what I was going to say. You should use movies right here.

You know, what I buy a movie? I wonder if you could use it. That's what you buy when you have iTunes money. I wonder if you could use it for like an Apple TV subscription. I don't have Apple Oh. Yeah. I forgot that that's a streaming service. Yeah. I was thinking of a little box. Have you watched Severance the first season? I have not seen it. Apple TV has severance. The second season?

Not out. It's coming out, I think, next year. That thing has been almost out since, like, 2012 for a long time. I watched it, I got a free trial for Apple TV, and I watched that first season in, like, three days. And I was like, nice. It says the second season is about to be out. That was last, that was like a full year ago. They released a teaser for it.

Yeah. The only two good things on Apple TV are that are severance and prehistoric planet, and everything else. It's the worst streaming service ever. Yeah. Well, I'll try. we're trying well they also have what else do they have on there they have the godzilla tv show that was really bad can i uh can i get his in yeah wait i can give you one oh you want to see a difference oh you want to see a difference those are those are the real ones from sweden i want to i want to

double see what double we'll check this is a double check out no no no oh okay oh that with the oh it's an amazing combination oh nice everyone's been impressed so far Yeah, that was sounding like really, really being impressed. Oh, okay, this is good. Nutrition and diets. So today I've eaten a fig bar. Run it full down. Right it from morning and night.

Fig bar, turkey sandwich, one slice of pizza, hamburger. You're forgetting. What am I forgetting? Donuts. Donuts. Okay. Donut holes. Let's go left to right.

I forgot it had a sinus infection. I've been putting my body through the ringer this week. Yeah, you're kind of killing it. Kind of killing it. Dude, we recorded it earlier, and I had taken, like, eight, like, cold and flu pills throughout the day, and I was just like... Yeah. Yeah, it helps, you know, it helps level things out, but, yeah. The coldness to bring you up.

What are you guys? Our food diary for today. Food diary. Ours are all going to be the same besides the first thing. Well, my first thing was donuts. I had kashi cereal this morning, and then I had a root beer float for lunch. And then I had I had an Iraqi beet stew for dinner

They were going to say erotic An Iraqi beet stew? Yeah Was it yummy? Did it have cabbage in it? No, it had like beats and charred and stuff My girlfriend's family is Kurdish. Dude, I just had such a fucking time travel

disgusting. My brain is fried and I was like, you already had dinner? Yeah. Yeah. You ate the amazing burger. Yeah, I know I'm off my game because the smell excels kind of kicked my ass and it hit me and I went

that's not supposed to hit me the first time I saw you do that it was honestly it was terrifying I thought you might get demonic presence on it well I forgot what it is this time the last time I thought it would be so bad I thought it was going to kill me I overprepared this time it's like getting a tattoo when you're like this isn't going to hurt and then you're like

oh that does hurt actually getting tattoos I don't know if I'll ever get another tattoo it hurts so bad I don't think I will again because I got the worst fucking tattoo in the world to start with and now I have one I have a fucking giant lawnmower on my leg. That's like the most badass tattoo. No, but I mean, if you do a second, what do you do as a second tattoo after that?

Another lawnmower. I was going to get a lawn chair. Uh-huh. And then it turns out my buddy Mike has a lawn chair on his arm already. You can do that as twins. Who cares, bro? You twin it up, man. Yeah.

But. I know two, I got this tattoo and then two of my friends got the exact same tattoo in the same place. Yeah, I wanted to get a chainsaw tattoo for a while, but not like a gore. chainsaw tattoo. I wanted like model specific. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But are we worried an artist was going to fuck it up? No, I mean like

specific chainsaws. I don't like other chainsaws. What's your top two? I wanted like a, so I like Husk Varno a lot. I like a mid-sized Huskvarna or the small professional steals are really nice too. That's Thomas's recommendation, folks. And if you're

going to go, if you want to spend like two grand, get a get a steel magnum. I can't imagine spend a two grand. on a chainsaw, man. Okay. Imagine, okay, you've got a chainsaw with a five-foot bar on it.

And you can cut through fucking anything. But the thing with that is... How often am I fucking failing... You don't need that at all. It's literally... Like, if you're... Even if you're, like,

just a regular, like, person with a house with trees, you don't need, like, a... Yeah. That's good for me as a guy with the house of trees. You can rent... If you can talk at all, you can just borrow a chainsaw

from, like, your dad's friend or something like nobody really needs a chain side i don't think like now that i'm like when i lived in texas i had like i i was like it's cool to have tools and stuff and then i had to get rid of them and i was just leaving them on the side of the road and stuff yeah i don't care at all anymore the only thing that i think retains value in my brain is like computers yeah tvs not even really tvs i i'll throw away a tv instantly i uh i have to i mean some I mean, I think about, yeah, computers, I use a computer till it fucking rots. Yeah, I've had the same PC since, I've had the same PC that Julio helped me build for, that wasn't that long ago.

It was like four years ago. I think of a PC lifespan as like six years probably. But, yeah, I've made adjustments to it. That's one thing I like about PC versus like, like, about actually having like a computer you can. Is it like a laptop? Sorry, I'm, this is not funny. I'm just talking about. This is okay, man, this is...

Bro, we're 10 hours in. Yeah, nobody's... We're 11 hours in, bro. No, we're almost 11, dude. Holy fuck. By the way, I'm down to go past 11. Yeah, I was... I think you should go...

Yeah, because we don't have that much to end. You should go, yeah, you should go at least 15, 30 minutes past 11. However much you're willing to... You should. I'm down to go till, like, close to midnight, honestly. Okay. Because, uh, I don't have work till, uh, Saturday. Um, Mike Racine is my boss.

Really, dude, you're moving? Wow. I've been moving less... Oh, man. A couple weeks ago, I helped him with a little job and then I got a couple this this week you are living my dream wow dude he's

so fun I love Mike dude and dude he he's like 10 years older than me uh huh but he talks to me like I am his son he's a hundred years old dude so he like we were moving like this is like a small apartment like just a few boxes and like a bed frame and stuff

so he was like handing me stuff and I was putting into the truck and I was just sort of like arranging it like okay this kind of makes sense it's like not a full truck so I just sort of put the boxes around this isn't going to get destroyed and he takes a look at it after and he's like, you know

you got good instincts. Like he's like my copo or something. And he'll text me like, hey, I got a job Saturday. Just let me know if you want the details. Yeah, Mike, somebody needs help.

Yeah, work for you. He's like, yeah, just today he was like, what's your email? I was like, I got two, one is for a podcast, one is for comedy and then one is for everything else. He's like, just trying to send you details on

moving. And I was like, okay, sorry, I'll just, I'll just send you. Nice try. Nice try. Oh, open for me. Hey, Thomas, I got to send you an email. Yeah, Burt Kreischer and Thompson Girl wanted your email address to send you, they need your email so that they can

zeal you a million dollars. That would be cute. huge, actually. I've been waiting on that Zelfth. That would be big ups. It'll be massive ups, honestly. I would stop talking shit forever. If any of those guys gave me a band, even, if they gave me $1,000.

I think for $50, I will never talk shit about a person again. Yeah. They could do that, then. They could pay off the whole comedy industry. Yeah. If they gave me one bottle of dosos. Yes. Or poor osos.

Come on. One bottle of porosos and the bear. What does that mean? The bears. The bears. It means the bears. Four bears. Four bears. Four bears. It's vodka for bears.

It's so cool that they're not gay. Yeah. The two bears in a cave, that should be two gay guys. I don't think they knew what that meant. I think that they thought that it was like a cool thing. People were calling them. And you also know that when people, if people ever bring it up, they're like, oh, yeah, we kind of did that before that was like a phrase. They think that they came up with it first. All right, here's a good one of those. Give me, give me.

Most disgusting turds you've ever seen. Thank you. I've ever seen. You've ever seen. Oh, well, I've already told you guys I had some squirmers. I'm not. We'll skip the turd. I mean, we were there together when I saw the turd that was so bad.

It bled my nose. Oh, the dinky, yeah. Are you an awesome knitter, fashion designer, bead maker, or basket weaver? Is this a podcast topic that you found online? Cameron? Can you just answer the question? Why are we have to investigate everything? A bead maker or a basket weaver.

I think I'm maybe a good fashion designer. I don't know about knitting or knitting. I've never done any sort of knitting. My wife does crochet and that shit looks so fucking boring. I can't believe they like doing that. Yeah. All the girls are doing crochet now. It's one of those things that we're like,

which was crochet? It does look cool when they do it, but it's like, it's like knitting. It's like, oh, that is cool. I'm you know what I mean like I even like drawing a picture of like the sun is hard for me so I don't think I would I can't do without a smiley face yeah you can't even draw the sun because it's so many different balls of gas I remember look at it how am I supposed to do whenever me and my buddy were in middle school we would draw every day and we were both like yeah I think we'll probably be artists someday and he works for the city now and I do this I was like I had a I started a band and I didn't know how to play any instruments and then the drummer who actually could play the instrument he threw hot pepper in my eye at a pizza place and I canceled the band wow one time I broke it up one time I was drunk and um I got invited to join a surf rock band whoa and uh in tex or surf

punk band or something like that and I said I don't know I'm bad at playing guitar I've never played bass before though and he said that's fine then the next day he was like you can't even play bass you're not in the band and I was like I told you I couldn't play bass and I don't even know what surf rock is it

or surf punk I know surf rock what is that Dick Dale yeah I don't even really well I mean even then surf bass is just blah blah blah blah blah like it's pretty easy

um is there true evil in this one note yes is there true evil in this world yes yes you think so yes Kidnappers. Kidnappers.

What if they are trying to feed their family with us? And that's not true evil. That's awesome. Yeah, so that's what I'm saying. But some people are literally kidnapping just to serve the will of evil as a concept. But not even for money. Not for money. They write a ransom note to the parents that says, I did this because I'm bad.

It's never coming back. It. I think, P.S. I think of it as an it. Jubio's best moments. 300 episodes then. He has had some good moments. He's earned this one. Remember when he said

he's had to sit alone for 12 hours? He said it way it works. Well, he would be doing the same way. Up on the screen is this, who messaged Rainbolt this? Oh, this was my question for Rainbolt that I made Jubio send for me. Are there any towns in the USA with thousands of people but no pizza? And you believe he didn't answer that? Isn't that a question that only he could answer?

Yeah. You know, he acts like he knows everything And then you ask him one simple question Like, could you Could you maybe take my older sister on a date And then And then give me her number so she'll Maybe I can have her number

And he won't answer you He won't answer me Guys, we officially have less than an hour left I'll send him a picture of my face And I'll say, can you make this into a girl in What city she lives in? Gadget review This was one that

was on the list. I remember this was verbatim one of the items. Gadget review. So I'm going to review this gadget on pets, keys. Okay.

The bottle opener. Is that what you're talking about? The bottle opener. This thing has helped us. That is an A plus gadget in my eyes. DIY, parentheses, do it yourself.

Well, Thomas already talked a whole lot about DIY. Yeah, okay. So we're really, we covered this, yeah. We really just have five or six more. We'll get them done.

Jubio's body I would say A plus Me Gusta Yeah Jubio gives That's not a racial thing By the way I didn't take it

I forgot I forgot he's Mexican too I forgot he was I want to hear the end of I thought he was Swedish The first time I ever heard him talk Whenever I saw him And he's a tall

Good looking fella I thought You're supposed to be tiny too Yeah he really is It's kind of a miracle That you're supposed to be a tiny imp I think about seeing his family So much

You've met his family No I really want to Okay. I think about... It's kind of weird that you haven't seen how's that weird? It's not.

But I want you to finish a sentence of Jubio Gives. I, you know, I don't want this to come across as pause. Dubio gives great hugs. Really good hugs.

You know that's true. No, man. Hugs, hello. Why you've blown up my spot, bro? How's that blown up your spot? Chilling me, bro.

People are going to be lining up for hugs at your house. Shut up. You know, I take it back. You give terrible hugs. Since he's not here, Jubeo gives me a boner. You can't do anything about it.

Yeah, come try and get rid of it. Yeah. Oh, you don't like this? Come over here. Oh, my hands are behind my back. There's something about it. I'm not touching it. I'm not touching it.

I'm not touching it. What is the next fashion trend? You're looking at me. Like, I've always been a big, fashion guy. Upside down hat. Upside down hat. Upside down

Pilgrim. Wait. The reverse Pilgrim. Oh, he's in the reverse Pilgrim. Damn. He's got the reverse pilgrim. With the bell buckle.

I think people are going to start dressing like Willie again. Who's Willie? Willie Depp. Oh, for sure. People are going to be walking around with the ring. You know, the rings have come back,

actually. They're already starting to dress like Willie. I see people with multiple rings on who are not married. And you can tell. You want to hear something funny. Whenever I was in high school, I got broken up with in high school, and I went through a phase where I thought, okay, here comes my fashion era. So I drove an hour to the nearest H&M, and I tried on one of their Excel rings on my pinky, and I got it stuck on my pinky for like 30 minutes.

And the store security kept passing by and asking me if I was okay because I thought I was trying to steal it. and I had to, like, dislocate my finger to get it up. Were you big and fat? In high school, no. I got big. You just had a big finger? I just have, like, I just have fat knuckles. Oh, yeah.

So if the rings go pad, like, I don't have, like, super fat finger. You do have really big knuckles. Yeah. Yeah, if a ring goes past a knuckle and it doesn't fit my finger, it's over. It's bad. Yeah. Yeah. I always wonder, how does a finger go onto the, or a ring go onto the finger?

A finger go on. The finger go on. The finger go on it. How does a ring go onto a finger, but it cannot come up. but it cannot come off of the fingers. My dad's knuckles have gotten so fat that he just got his ring tattooed on it, like 62. Damn.

So he has like that like 30-year-old like climbing instructor tattoo. It's sick. It's badass. But yeah, isn't. He should get the mustache one. That's funny as fun. I have a bunch of old pictures where like me and my sisters have like moustaches like in just like pin ink on their fingers. You know what I would get,

how people would get the mustache on their finger or put it over their mouth. I would get dripping liquids on my finger and put it here and put it here and people would say I'd say do I have anything on my list I just drank a big glass of mail I tried to shave the other day and didn't even connect enough to make one

oh yeah what else we got oh shit that sounds good I can't even it's just two I have two toughs it looked like a pause sign it couldn't even be a Nazi if I wanted to analyze analyze each other's

psychologies oh wow that's good I think I think you guys are neuro-spicy. Thank you. That means a lot. Facts, though. You were about to read my aura.

Damn, what's he doing, Cameron? Damn, Cameron, don't hurt him. Happy. Damn, Cameron. How did you get that? Surprised. More surprised. Surprised and happy.

Happy. Not cute. Oh, my beans. Not cute. Are those black beans? These are beans from Joe box. Okay, I'll do me. Joe Buz?

Joe came by and played the game called Joe Buc. I can't see. They said Joe Buz, as in the Stardew Valley, right? Joe Buzz Beans. Joe Box? Did I just find out that you're gay right now? No, I used to play. That's just surprising.

I just didn't think that you played Starkey Valley. I used to, I don't play it anymore. But I'm not going to. That's fine if you play Starry Valley. No, it's not that I don't like it anymore. It's that I got really frustrated with it. Because I worked really hard on Stardu Valley, and I would always pass out in the street.

from not going to sleep. You can do that in that game? That's possible? Yes. You can pass out in the street? You can, if your energy gets low enough, you can pass out at night, and then you get ambulance back to your house, and then you lose, like, a bunch of money, so I was losing all my farming money, and I was also like, I would spend, you know how a beer costs like

$500 in that game? No, I don't know anything about it. Okay, so I, you, I would make like $100 in a day from... You buy it on beer. save up my money and spend it on like one beer and then I would go to the hospital and lose the rest of it. And that's like, I think if I had a farm in real life,

that's also what I would do. Yeah, that is completely true. My friend used to play that game and he would, he told me his method for it was that he would sleep through the entire winter. Oh wow, I didn't know you could do that. Just ever, just sit there for like, and you have to do it manually.

So we just sit there for like 20 minutes and just click, go to bed, go to bed, go to bed, go to bed until the winter was over. I started playing that game. I tried to get my wife to play that game and she was like this is a game for like babies. I was trying to get a girlfriend on the game

and everybody thought I was fucking ugly. Like nobody would talk to it. And I didn't know if it was how I designed my character because I didn't have money or if I hadn't been playing it long enough. Did you connect on? So you can bring people gifts in that game. And I would find like a rare gym and give it to a girl and she'd be like, this is stupid.

And it would be like minus 50 health. Can I have the gym back? Does everything hurt you in this game? It wouldn't be like health. be like minus 20 relationship. Oh, relationship. And then it's like, that was a gym worth like $500 and I don't have it anymore. And I mined all day for it.

This one's good. Here, do this with the ones that we've already used. My Star do Valley. Hey, what the hell was that? What's wrong with you? Okay, well, then we're doing that one because I didn't read the one that I had. Can we kick Patrick off the show forever? Absolutely.

Life hacks. I'm going to go pee. And then the last one I want to do. Don't bring the hat with you to go pee. Thank you. Because I know what the last one is because I wrote it. he already knows too he doesn't know

what's some life hacks life hacks um if you uh look both ways four cross in the street yeah that's a major hack that's like major

that's going to save you a lot of time loans if you take them out um if you get a credit card it make it shiny so you can see it if you stink

shower tie your shoes so they don't fall off after you put them on after you put them on if you see a squid stop touching it you can make a cup

out of a bowl ice cream by just adding a handle equals chocolate equals epic win equals motherfucking delicious

pizza plus toppings equals motherfucking delicious pizza plus but rubbed equals romance equals sexy time you know what I'm talking about you know I'm

talking about, yeah. Don't kill somebody. If you make love violently all night, you got to drink some water. Yeah, make sure to hybrid. Wait, drink water in general. In general, yes,

but especially if you're just like aggressively making love night after night. If you're making love night after night, you have to get tested every night. Yeah, especially if it's the same person. I get, I've been in a relationship a long time. I get tested for HIV

every day. You got it. You don't know what happen? Every time you have sick. What if a bug flies in? I got my doctor and he tests me during it. He says, let me take your blood. Let me take your blood at your wee. What if he texts? What if a bug fly? My doctor, my doctor texts me. Hey, HIV test today. Come on. Hey, you fucking. Please. My dentist test me for HIV. I want to test you. I want to test you. I want to test. I want to test. I want to test. I I fucking need you. My dentist texts me. I need to do something to your mouth right now.

Let me take that tooth out. I want to see your teeth so fucking bad. Let me take that tooth out. Let me get that Ruth Canal. Your dentist texts you, I want to see your teeth so fucking bad. You send him a picture of their teeth. They emphasize it and say, good God.

Yeah, I call it a Ruth Canal because that's what my doctor's name is. Damn. Mr. Now, Dr. Ruth? Yeah. My name is Dr. Ruth Canal. I had a dentist whose name was, I've talked about it. her name is Sandra Miles

S. Miles smiles it's impressive every time I remember amazing I remember one time when I was a kid my family doctor had bad breath and while she was doing

my tonsils and stuff and I thought what a fucking hypocrite but she has gingeritis why is she treating my heart and stuff this is the last one and I think it's apt

the last topic from the hat yeah that's nice that this came last Mr. Thomas is here because it's also kind of the name It was a podcast, right? Poem time. That's your podcast.

Right. It's kind of close. How about we each tell a poem? What's my favorite poem? Original. Yeah, right one. Compose one out. That's what it's supposed to mean.

Well, I was thinking we could build one with some of these because I... You guys have any Kleenex? I'm not going to... J-O, I promise. We have paper towel. J-O, man. Just do it. I'm not going to J-O.

We have toilet paper. Who gives a shit about YouTube any more? It's all good. YouTube fucking sucks now. We showed dead animals and played copyrighted music and that's what's going to get us

fucking kicked off the platform. The animal was not dead. You did show 20 dead animals right after that. One of the animals that you show was not dead. Again, but a dead cow is like, that's a fucking hamburger.

He was reporting on the news. They can't get mad at you for showing a dead cow. like a line from Scott Pilgrim when you said that for some reason. A dead cow that's a fucking hamburger. It is. You can't get banned for showing a dead cow. Google Foods does it.

It's probably called Scott Native American now. Let's fucking go. That's true as fuck, man. Try one of the new ones. Try one you haven't touched before. Say, wait, say what is this? This is me whenever I see a hate. crime happening. Fatality.

Oh, no, dude. Oh, no. You probably could not have the worst one. That's unbelievable. That's crazy, man. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, no. It literally is like it was Taylor made for the crazy You're walking down the street And you just say Fatality If he if he had to click the one under it Oh my God

That would have been a little better Yeah Fatality It would have been a little better So detached, man. Oh, my God. Fatality. This is...

Bowing. Literally none of them were good. Fatality. There was not a single good option. Actually, there's one. It's that. No, thank you. This one could be like kind of okay.

Brat. Better than fatality. Ten times better than fatality. That's okay. Yeah. Poem. Poem. I had an amazing day. Ten hours slipped away.

You're going to say 11. 11 hours. And 15 minutes. And 15 minutes slipped away. Me, oh my. My entire life for friends like this, I prayed. My turn. No, don't ruin a beautiful moment.

My turn. That was applause. My turn. We're having a nice moment. Yeah. No more sound board. Soundboard's done. You're off the soundboard.

Don't fuck it out. When it gets so wet, it gushes down the leg. That for me is a fancy feast. Cat. I'm a cat. But I like fucking humans. Amen. Wow.

It's not a prayer. It's a poem. This poem uses an amen to evoke themes of religionality. Oh, okay. I like that. When you two build a poem. Okay. Let me think.

Don't think, man. From gist to list, this day made me say hooray. From boobs versus butt. You're reading. To the kids show. I said, oh no. They didn't. Keep going to do the whole scheduling.

From car talk to Joe Box. That one's already a wrong. Car talk to Joe Box. Let me see that. Let me make that pussy talk. What? I don't. Advice.

We got advice and it was nice. Practo with Pierce. oh he's so fierce D&D with patches the dice rolls were my fantasy itch it scratches my fantasy itchard scrads

okay so I have a ghost writer yeah gossip I want more sips of that juicy gossip the juice was so loose like a sweet berry

it made me one to get married. To mystic investigations, I need, after this, I'm going to need two vacations. And the T with, or top tens with tea, yay, says me, to now in our final hour, let's show a million

power. Yes. Yes. Word. Y'all mind if I Spill in this? Talk to him. Talk to him. Kamala Harris. I'm all embarrassed. Girl, let me see it. On the terrace.

I'm a terrorist. Oh. I'm the sheriff. In a one-horse town. One horse to go? Yeah. One horse down. Oh.

One horse is white. yeah one horse brown yeah uh michael scott he's the boss dunder miflin paper toss you toss it up and you print it down uh-huh dwight shrewt yeah super clown jim halpert stealing pam kragm Wonder Man Wonder bread I wonder where's my bread I wonder where

What have I read I rack My racks My racks big tall Shy rack Shy town Smiley Salt I'm up

And I'm down My clown It Oops I got to sit sit sit down four gentlemen oh

I'm diabetic and I need insulin what's that my thyroid endocrine oh my God I don't think they listen in oh my fucking God Thomas that was amazing I didn't know you had it like that

I do I'm black most people don't know I had my feelings you were something yeah so what are we doing now We could do a freestyle thing. What if we did like a Philly CD rep Cypher type thing?

We already did that. What if we had a beat going? You know, we can do. What if we did a five fingers of death? We literally did that, man. We searched five fingers of death on YouTube and wrapped over the beat. Do you guys want to do it again?

You've been doing this for 12 hours. We'll do it again for 10 minutes. All right. We'll do 10 minutes of five fingers of death. Bring the five fingers. If you want, I can just, you know, we can just go. I can listen to you. Wait, we got a beat built in already.

I don't think we do it anymore. Just look when I'm going to. That's easier. But do a different instrumental than the last one. Yeah. Yeah, I can kick it off. And then we can, if you want it. Jump on it.

If you want it, just do a little thing. And then I'll pass it off at the next bar. There we go. Just click that one off. Five Fingers of Death Type beat. I got to hit this shit again. Look at this beautiful animal. And now, ladies and gentlemen, give it to him.

Shout out to Ram. He got 66 subscribers. That's how you know he's real. Okay. Yeah This is a whole beat Seems like it Seems like it is

I'm pounding Undergrounding I'm digging Oh I gotta make a living I gotta make a million I gotta make a trillion Oh I just lost all the money I'm a big bee and I just got some honey

I'm a big bear And I just lost my money Because I tried to buy some crypto And I got big lips in a little a hipso and I'm a hippo in the Nile River like a little crocodile and you know I might go for a walk a while I don't know I'm sipping on some activists or walk a while I don't know I might just have to try and talk a while I don't know it's a raccoon on the cover but I might get some racks and go to Iraq and then I call my brother his name is John then I go back and I dye my hair

I'm blonde I don't know drama dare like a camel and I go and I smoke a few camels and then I I get some, then it's not even anything going on now. It's a different thing now. What's going on now? It's a different thing. I forgot that's how five fingers of death works. They go five. It's a five fingers of death.

It starts with a fucking thumb. Uh-huh. And then it goes to the index. So I got to try and keep it clean like windex. Oh, do I lose or do I win next? I don't know. You might have to index. or encyclopedia

I cycle through and then I see to you I mean a CTE No Chris Benoit But I get through Then I went through ya Yeah Boom by ya

Motherfucker I go through like Ice Road trucker Yeah It's getting a little icy You see my neck And you know I'm a little spicy

Ice spice when I bend over I might pull up In that brand new Land Rover Or maybe the range rover Because I got a little range but I might pull up and the coop got no brains No JFK but I came from Dallas

But you know my girlfriend likes to make me salads And she's a nice lady I can't believe this Do all five All five Yeah All five that's a fist I came from the abyss

I got nothing but chains on my wrist Wait I think that's a bracelet But I got a step back then just pay a bit wait I gotta keep pace no metronome but I came from the dome and I came and gave Don to Patrick he didn't tell anybody it was our secret it was a dark secret a sexual secret and he's gotta keep it a horrible affair we gotta keep from our girlfriends until the damn world ends yeah the world spins every day and I gotta stop it I shop a hot topic I get the Rick and Morty poster and it says I'm a motherfucking dirt

I'm a pickle rick I might pull up Then I get a bit A cash Then I leave with the cheddar And the cheese And the beef And I got a little better

With a bread And I got That's a hamburger Damn Two more This is more Two more Two more

We needed this right now Back from the dead Back from the dead They said I was Lazarus This beats cool But I think it might lag a bit I had a bit of drink right before this

And you know I came with the yel-snick Boris I make him yell a bit Because I'm yellow bitch And you know I came and I'm yellow-bone I don't know But I'm like a metronome The way I'm on the beat And then I might just let him know

Let him know a little something And I came through And you know the beat is still bumping I'm bumping a little bit And you know I came through From Texas on some trill shit On some real shit On some fake shit

I pulled up and I got a run the shit, like some A6, but that's basic. I'm like Stephen A. Smith. I don't even know what I mean by that, but I'm commentating. Potato. You know, that I came with a fuego. Wait, I'm wetter than a lake, though, because I got a pussy.

Please don't push me. Oh, my God. The fifth finger. The last one. The pinky. Fifth finger. Fifth finger. Fifth finger. That's a pinky. Wait. Fifth finger, that's a pinky.

Fifth finger, that's a pinky. I ain't a killer, but don't think me. I'm stinky. Came through and you know the ice is real linky. Your girl says she really want to link me, but I don't want to do that because I don't cheat on my girlfriend because that's wrong.

I came through in the club in the Jaguar thong, pulled up in the Jaguar and not did them wrong. and I got to sing a little bitty little song That's a freestyle I get freak while I came through In the drop top and I went a mile Because I had a little gas in the PT Cruiser I came through and I got a DIY boozer

Carlos boozer I came in like a bowl Bitch I came in with the rice and ate the whole bowl I went to Soho Earlier today to apply for a job And then I did not get it Because I don't get nothing I don't have a job

I got no money and I do like lob stir Oh shit It is quite delicious And when you eat it Every once in a while it's nutritious Yep

That's the whole Oh my God That's unbelievable That's amazing I wish you'd been here You know we call that We call that killing time Yeah you successfully killed a full

How's it going? Ten minutes I just talked into the beer Like it was a microphone But how's it going Pierce That's great I'm so happy for you you guys.

I try off at return. Dude, I mean, oh my God. There's a computer glitch. No, it's fine. The computer glitch. That is a computer glitch. Computer glitch.

You guys should do another one, though. When we did the password video, there's probably like 10 minutes of us talking like X-Men at each other. Ten minutes of you talking like. Yeah. I wish that so bad that that was a 15-minute video of just the X-Men stuff.

I think we should just put out, like, a full... X-Men bonus pack? You pointing to everybody saying, storm! Cyclops! Every take. And we were all... It's so funny when you film shit like that, and you're like, this is for sure going to be the big.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, this is going to be in it. And then it's like, yeah. There's like 10 to 15 minutes of just X-Men stuff that I was saying at you guys. I got this. I upgraded to the can, bro. What are we doing now?

Let's see. Well, guys. Our last thing is probably. only gonna last like 15 minutes max so we can show from there huh you guys gave yourself an hour off to the end basically i mean the less so the last thing is is i won't say what it is yet but so basically we're gonna no you know what we should do our our stories now because then we're going to get to patrick's incredible feat yeah oh that's what might take some time that's so we're actually right now guys it's uh it's 1130 and you know what that means it's the fucking

witching hour. It's the witching hour. You think that I should start doing what I'm, should I do my feet in the middle of it? Because I didn't write a story. You want to show us your feet? You didn't write a story. No, me and Caleb are going to read our stories.

Then you can start on your feet and everyone else will talk. That'll be completely fun. Okay. Do you want to go first, Caleb? Should I? You can go first. Okay. So we wrote scary stories for the witching hour.

Don't even talk to. And, and the, what's the modern scary story that the kids are obsessed with nowadays? It's the SCPs. Oh, yeah. The SCP Foundation. These are scary facts about a scary item.

So I wrote my own version of this, and this is, I'll start reading it. SCP-56-843 is a beer class object that has caused over 10,000 deaths. Its shape is that of a beer bottle, long and cylindrical, tapering off toward the top. If you added a ball sack to the bottom of it, it would be shaped like a redacted. So this is something in the SPCP. They would redact out. They censor stuff just to like, well, just to make it scary. We don't know what it is.

Because we don't know. That's the thing. You don't know if it's cock. It's scarier if you don't know versus if you just get the answer easily. I'm fucking terrified. At the top of the bottle is a cap made of pure metal. No.

The same metal that a human skull is made out of. It has sharp spikes on the side of the cap that could slice open redacted from its pink nose to its curly pink tail as it squealed and oint. So again, the redact, the censored, you don't know what it is, which makes it scarier. That could mean a kid.

That could mean anything. the bottle itself is made of glass the same glass a haunted crystal ball is made out of much like a crystal ball this SCP is also able to tell the future

when asked if it is evil it says no however when our SCP scientists hooked it up to a polygraph they determined it was lying the label is yet another cornucopia of terror

the name of the beer appears normal yet when viewed with SCP 1, 2, 738 glasses that make things say scary things instead of Miller Light it reads killer fright

no but our scientists have determine that the craziness doesn't stop there. The alcohol by volume or ABV on this bottle is replaced by atrocities by violence. And the percentage after this is 6-6-redacted

percent. This number has been partially censored to protect your mind. And instead of being brewed in Milwaukee, the label claims this beer was brewed in a haunted house built on an ancient Polish burial ground where over 100,000 people were buried alive due to sleeping through their alarms,

located in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. The liquid inside this bottle, when tested by SCP paranormal specialist, was discovered to contain bubbles. Its brown color is revealed to actually be a horrifying blood red when exposed to the facility's blood red inspection light. You're a drama queen, Patrick. What? It says that in the story. What? Why did you say you're a drug that's in the story?

He's addicted. I just somehow got it by doing the action. Yeah. Well, it's floating in the air. It's floating in the air. It's floating in the air. I don't want any more of that smell. Chemists tested the fluid and calculated its ingredients.

We've censored some of the percentages for safety, so it can't be recreated. Exactly, redacted percent of the beer was made up of human blood, and the remaining 40 percent was made up of redacted juice, freshly squeezed from an orange. And worst of all, when consumed, this haunted beer profoundly affects its victim's nervous system, reducing reaction time, slurring speech,

removing inhibitions and rendering operating heavy machinery difficult and dangerous. The liquid also impairs the drinker's ability to drive a car. Now I know what you're thinking. That just sounds like normal beer. But you don't understand. It makes you crash the car, not just drive weird.

After running extensive tests on SCP 56843 for months on end, the scientists of the SCP Foundation noticed it was in fact part of a six pack. There were five other haunted beers that were next to it right there, each equally scary as the last. And aren't the cardboard of the six pack, they notice a price tag. $500 million.

That's $83,33,333.33. and 33.33.33333. And even in today's economy, that's a shocking price. To further investigate the price, our SCP researchers return to the store where the six-pack was purchased. A one-eyed band with no teeth and seven fingers and two shirts shook his head ominously

and told them that store hadn't sold beer for 50 years. Oh, my God. Then the man's soul was sucking somewhere in the bottles and he turned gray. Overwhelmed by the evil nature of the haunted six-pack the SCP Foundation decided to destroy the item. They found a guy that nobody really cared about that much and had him drink all six beers to rid the universe

of their dark influence. He became quite drunk and wobbled around like a wobbling vampire. They rained some tests asking him to walk in a straight line. He did walk in a perfectly straight line. Up the wall like a spider. Then they asked him to recite the alphabet backwards. He recited it forwards. The researchers scratched their heads confusingly.

But when they played back the recording of the test, in reverse, the man's voice seemed to speak the alphabet backwards perfectly. This was too satanic to believe. With the evil beer all contained within this man's stomach, they decided to crush him in a hydraulic press. Thus, the SCP would be removed from the world and beer drinkers everywhere

would be that much safer. But, as they used the mass of machine to push his cranium through his asshole, a soul stream of tinkle arched out of his trousers, through the adjoining door, down the corridor, into SCP-56-843's containment room and directly into the empty beer bottles, filling them up. Then a Dracula bat flew in.

grabbed the six-pack and flew out the window. Thus, the haunted beers re-entered circulation. Evil was once more loosed on the world. Beer drinkers beware. The SCP Foundation has not recovered the beers yet, but they were tracked and determined to be in the town of redacted. Wait. That sounds like Ridgewood.

So if you live there, keep an eye out because the evil beer is coming for you. Redacted. I thought we stopped saying words like that. You know what I mean? But it's still a good story. Well, I wish I went first. Mine is a... No drinking, please.

Mine is a creepy pasta that I found on a very, already baseline terrifying website. Yeah, this is a slender man. Hello, 4chan. I am a huge fan of watching The Simpsons. But on my... I would like to say, well, no mind.

but on my most recent watch, something seemed completely odd, almost cursed. I was watching an episode where Bart Simpson, the son on the Simpsons, did something majorly disrespectful. If you are unfamiliar with the show, this might seem strange. A son who actually disrespects his parents

on national television, not my idea of the nuclear family. And yet, week after week, Bart does things, and I can't remember exact details, but stuff like eating with his elbows on the dinner table or wearing really short shorts to church.

Anyway, this particular infraction was something quite disrespectful. Again, I can't remember exact details because of what followed, but I believe he fell off of the roof very rudely. On a normal episode, his father, Homer, can't stand this kind of behavior. And Bart often finds himself on the wrong side of Homer's tender mercies. It's quite good. I've been watching the show for some time to see if Lisa, the precocious sister, ends up growing any older. She seems really smart, and we seem to have a lot of interest in comments such as music.

I also come from a large family, and coincidentally, my mother's name was, in fact, Marge. We really do have a lot in common, and I really would like to see Lisa represented as an older character soon. Homer seems to take a lot of his own problems out on his older children, but not the youngest, Maggie, even though she is honestly an annoying black hole of charisma. I think this is partly because he has a very small social circle containing primarily two friends, a black character, and a yellow character. Not to harp on my similarities to Lisa Simpson, but this is eerily similar to the racial makeup of two of my dad's friends as well.

Anyway, Homer began strangling his son to death. At first, I thought this must be a digital glitch. It didn't make any sense. Hello? I sat out loud to my television. Homer, stop. Let go of Lisa Simpson's brother right now. I was worried that witnessing this abuse would throw Lisa into life of drugs and promiscuity. But Lisa's dad didn't stop. He continued to strangle Lisa's brother.

His face, pure survival, gasping for air like an astronaut cut loose from an oxygen line. His tongue, long and wiggly, I think trying to lick his dad in self-defense. His eyes bulging out of his skull, looking to the heavens above. His hair? Wait a second. I really just realized that is supposed to be hair. Okay. So I thought that was the top of his head. Yeah.

So, Easter egg collection. Homer's face. Homer's face was pure rage. The only scene in film or TV that comes close is the stabbing scene from saving private Ryan. One party bent on survival, the other on snuffing out the life before them. I had to do something. I pressed the button on my cable remote titled Live in an effort to help Bart, or live in an effort to help Bart, but nothing happened. I had to sit there and watch this bastard hurt Lisa Simpson's twin brother. I closed my eyes, the only way out of this hell, as I heard Lisa's

brother gasping for air. Then it was all over. I opened my eyes. The family was back to normal. they were going to them all and there was bart alive how could this be not seconds ago his trachea was being crushed right before me a clearly fatal attack Lisa is now reading a book that's so her wow scary that's scary that's crazy yeah can't believe that happened okay and now pat's feet and there was also one about a haunted key oh yeah there was a one about a haunted key yeah I just saw one about a haunted key there wasn't funny oh okay so we'll just skip it then yeah See the, it's at the bottom there. Should we introduce Patrick's feet?

Yeah. So I made the mistake. These are Patrick's feet. They stank. Oh. Patrick's feet stink like shit. Oh my God. Okay.

Well, you're eating those. I hope you know them. I know that one now. I was trying to do like a rattle. So based on, based on events that just transpired, Patrick's feet, guys, in honor of the 300th episode, Patrick will be eating

slightly less than 300 jellybees. Oh my God. Don't go fast because you need to make this last 20 minutes. That's okay. I know you can do this fast. But we need you to slow it down.

Yeah. You also don't want to get sick. Yep. What? I'm going to get sick. Pretend it's sperm and it'll go awesome. You said you would do it, man. You have to just go slowly.

You know what? I'll help. If you really don't want to do it, I'll help and I'll eat but I can't stress this enough we need to make this last 21 minutes maybe eat one

maybe eat one per minute yeah that's a good idea wait no you're ready to chug the rest yeah why did you start with a chug do you even are you even parsing the flavors

did you I mean yeah what flavors are you tasting right now I tasted soda and black licoration is that young me

one. None of this is yummy to me right now. Yeah, probably because you ate a thousand of them at once. No, if I did that, we'd be done. You know what? I know what I'm wrong, and I know when you're right and you're right there. That's really big of you to come on and accept that. He's messing around me.

Well, Pierce, what did you do since we last saw you? I ate four cookies and drank a half gallon of milk. I really... What are you fucking... Okay, man. done. Okay, Santa. I'll take the

one. I don't know what the box. You could not have said maybe a weirder. My girlfriend made me cookies, but I really wanted milk. You made him leave.

My lovely girlfriend made him need cookies. We need this on record. We need this on record. That's all you, man. My girlfriend made me cookies. Oh, cinnamon now. I sing a cookie song to her a lot.

I said... What was it? Well, it went like... God damn. I'm gonna mark the door with my cookie. You could have said... Oh, key!

I said that. Oh, cookies, they're so mine. There's some... That's good. But I was like, I love one in the oven. But by the time they were ready, it was just...

I was just... I was chugging milk. I was excited, so I was drinking milk out of the carton before the cookies were baked. Okay. And I basically filled up on milk

before I can enjoy all the cookies are you a cow milk enjoyer yeah me too I really like it I had a sadder cookie experience I ordered half a dozen cookies on on yes on Uber Eats and then I waited an hour to get there when they got there I didn't want cookies anymore and then I ate like three horrible cookies and then I almost shit my pants from cookies so I've been taking cold and flu medicine last few days I don't have COVID but It's just like, I guess I just moved here, so my immune system's horrible. I'm like, you know.

It happened to me too when I moved here. All right. It tastes like shampoo, man. This is probably the shampoo flavor. I probably got a few of those. But anyway, did you take another bite since I was gone? That's why I got here. I'm down to here.

I'm proud of you, man. You were waiting on cookies. No, it was because I had to go to the bathroom. Oh, you were shitting from the cookies. Yeah. Okay, of course. Let's look at us. I thought I was maybe getting to die.

That's what he's, he read it. I'm glad that you admitted to it because he read the text on. I knew he would. I worded it in a way I'm trapped on the toilet. I was, I read it because I want to let them know. Now let's take a look at this flavor profile here.

So we've got two black licorice beans here, two coffee flavored beans, and then a lot of orange and I think the purple ones here are passion fruit, plus two tooty fruities right here. Can I issue a statement right now really quick? This is something that won't matter on the future. Oh, in grape. When people listen to this in the future on the recorded,

Pierce has informed me that people are saying that this is not live streamed. And fuck you. What do you think? We're sitting here. We're barely off camera. Yeah. Don't say something like that.

Yeah. Wait, people are conspiracy. People in the chat are saying this is not live. Wait, these people are dumb, man. Come to our address. That is such a... We pre-recorded 12 hours of content.

That would have been the same thing. That actually would be more impressive if you guys had done. Well, we would be crazy. Can you imagine if we pre-recorded 12 hours of shit that sucked? And then pretend it was a live stream. Yeah, we wouldn't have... The ultimate prank. Yeah.

Yeah. We could have taken a year and done this. Okay, I'm going to... Now that we're near the end, I'm going to say, I'm going to throw it out there. Worst segment for me? Yeah. Mystic Investigations. Yeah.

It was hard. It was hard. Best segment? Okay. Joe Box. Yeah. Joe Box was great. I'm thinking just in terms of energy level.

I would say, honestly, probably car talk was my bottom, which was early. which was early, and I'm glad it was early. Yeah. And then my top was a back-to-back D&D into gossip. I was turned the fuck up for those. Yeah, me too. I really like... I think from the hours...

I will say also, and it's not just because Pierce is here, the thing that Pierce did at the beginning of pig segment... That was huge. That was huge. Changed my life. Yeah, that was huge. I think from the hours of four to nine, I think that was our stride.

Loud noise and a weapon attack. Scary. I think if we could get Patrick to free... while he eats the jelly beans, I think that could be good. Patrick, you're definitely going to make it also. But we have to ask Patrick questions, the answers to which make him chew harder.

How about like an OJ to Juice Man? Oh, yeah. You like him? Of course. His beats are kind of simple, you know what I mean? Throw on an OJ to Juice Man beat. And that's not because I was just thinking about how I like his music, you know? I'm actually going to throw up, man.

I did for a while, but then I saw what he looked like and he's disgusting. He looks like the music. Houston X man. He's so fat. Dude, I saw him come out on stage and he is so, he doesn't wear a shirt and he's too fat to do that. Oh, J. The Juice Man, no hook beat.

Wait, he knows. Are you as a rap again? Patrick is. Patrick is with the jelly beans in his mouth. I'm not here to steal the show. I'm here to help it. You know what I mean? Oh, I can ad lit for you. Whoa. Oh, man. That was mint and butter popcorn. That's crazy that it hit like that.

No, that's really the worst flavor combination in the world. I think I'm ever going to eat jellybees again after this. Is this making audio, Julio? Because we're not hearing anything. Yeah. It's paused. It's paused. There we go.

Go back to the beginning. Because you got to get the. Do you want ad-libs or not? crap about the flavors. you taste. NBC cartel. You think you'll see this? I hope so.

He doesn't have a job. He's got another better to do. I just taste it black diggerish. I don't want to do this anymore. I hate the jelly bean challenge. I thought it would have been really easy, but it turns out it's actually really hard. I forgot that I had to do it within 20 minutes,

and it's making me fart. It's making me fart. is making me fart and my stomach's going to hurt every single day after this is weak I seriously wanted to kill myself because I ate all these jelly beans. Gun

I can't believe that butter popcorn mixed green apple and black o'clock wasn't a good idea now you really need to you got a rap jelly bean If it's too much you don't have to think of a hold

I'm going to hold up a flavor Yeah, you have to wrap about the flavor Jellybean Quit playing with them Jubyo In Jubio Red about the flavor is Briefly

Green green green green Gently in one word Juby Come out to play Green green green green You say green bean That's green bean flavor

Green bean I don't know what it is I am the feed up to him as he wraps about the flame Green bean Green jelly That was actually a good one Let me

That was a good one Yeah you need a break You need a break Yeah, I'm telling you, man, you can take a break. You can take a break, but you have to deal. If you can't finish the feet, you fail the feet. I think that we'll feel the feet. That's okay. But you have plenty of time.

You have 13 minutes. Patrick, do you want me to wrap over OJ. DeJ. the Juice Man to motivate you, and I can try and make it jelly bean theme because I know it's hard to eat while you do it. Okay, well, that's how we build stamina. That's how we build the skill is he has to eat while he does it. I'm going to fail the feet, and that's fine. You're going to fail it?

Okay, then we're going to fail. You should fail... We need... Not eating the jellybee. Not eating... Pierce, look at how many you're left. I know, I'm just saying... No, you're happy there.

There's a difference between failing this challenge and giving up. Failing would be throwing up. He doesn't know about the burgers. Giving up is stopping. He doesn't know about the burgers. Yeah, I can't blame Patrick at all for any decision he makes. I'm just saying, I'm just saying. You either give up or you or you try and fail.

You want a burger? I don't really want to... My milk, actually. How about... My milk actually? My milk actually. My milk actually. Patrick, eat the fucking jellybeats.

Oh, my milk, actually. I actually can't eat a delicious burger right now. My milk? My milk would make me throw up. Just let us sit in the last five minutes. You can decide whether to shotgun at all. Do you feel like the first out of them? No, that was buttered popcorn, one of them.

I thought I had two toasted marshmallows. Joe said earlier, or Joe said yesterday that that was his favorite flavor of jelly bean. That blew my mind. Yeah, if I, if I had fasted all day, yeah, that's true. If I had fasted all day, I said, oh my God, have you guys seen the meme? That girl was such a freaking skein. Wait, did when you said hawk tour, do you meant the meme?

Wait, what did you actually say? Did you say provocateur? I said, I said he's a provocateur. That's why he said the butter popcorn is, or but not butterpicon. But butter popcorn does taste like a hawk toa. I'm just getting a flavor. It tastes like giving a blowjob. It tastes like a lugy.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's not very good. You know, come. Man, I'm tired of y'all dicks. I'll taste in like butter popcorn. It tastes good as fuck. Spit? A lugi?

Dude, getting when you lock two on that means. It tastes amazing to get one. Dude, it tastes like chocolate. Are you chocolate? Because I'm probably at the mouth the whole time. It tastes like my drool. Thank you for doing this. She's giving kissing advice.

Are you tapping? Yeah, I'm tapping out. All right. We got to help. We got to help. you can help a little bit me you can help a little bit

everybody help I'm not having any bro help I don't want to help me I spilled one that counts I'm gonna eat

oh dude I immediately got black liquorish putting them all in your mouth at the same time is honestly the worst thing you can do I got a squid word flavor I'm gonna take someone to eat them one at a time okay

oh my god those are terrible yeah these are not I get why you couldn't wrap by he did it because they dry your mouth out so fast. They're honestly... Don't sip it, man.

Bro, don't sip it. That's nasty. I don't know what brand of beans. Now we're all going to get your sip. Yeah. Now we're eating mouth flavors. Bro, now all these are gross. All the ones already took out, probably have your spit on them too. Have you all ever done the...

See what I mean right now? Disgusting beans? It just tastes like sugar. You have a blue mouth. Yeah, but then you get specific flavors. Specific flavors hit, and then it's like, oh, this is bad. He has a smurf.

Nah, he is smurf from the inside. No, ain't nobody here going to smurf me out. That was talking such a big game about this. He said this was nothing. If they were jelly belly beans. He said he could eat 300 in a minute. That's what he said. They were jellybellied beans?

I'd be able to do it. I don't know what brand this is. Bro, it's Gimbles. Gimbles? Hey, Gimbles, if you're listening, maybe loosen up on the licorice flavor. Because I got a liquorish. in every single thing.

Let me tell you guys I got these because they were the cheapest ones that I can see why. Yeah, they're not very good. Pretty bad.

Jelly belly, this one is sugar flavor. There was one bean bag that I ate at, um, when we were in Atlanta. I had like a whole bag.

Yeah, those were the, the like, uh, Jelly belly is the superior one. Don't eat those. Those are not jelly beans. You'll get actually seen.

Yeah. Yeah. You'll get bean disease. Bro, don't spit them out of my cup. Use someone else's. You can use mine. You know, my name's Patrick. Okay, yeah.

Maybe not. Pierce gave me a shot. Why does all our long episodes always turn into a grossness fest? That's true. At the very end. Patrick, people are saying in the chat that they want you to freestyle again.

Oh, he don't get on a lighter. They want you to go over the same beat again. You put a lid on that. Oh, I don't be a cartel. Mmm. That's awesome. That's crazy. That's great.

That makes me want to help more. Jelly bean type beat. Yeah, I failed the fucking feet. Look at me. Mine's not Pete. Rhymes with Pete. Not my feet. My feet.

Size 11. Everybody in their house named Kevin. Go and kill yourself in the bathroom. Come back when you're now named Kevin. He's vomiting. You carry it. I was just giving you an edlin. I got to eat these beans.

Okay Okay I'm so defeated I gotta eat his beats Patrick ate the jelly bean Now he's looking hell at me Cole through he got the headphones Everybody said

Where's the ears He got the headphones Oh my God He's sucking on the dick In the head wrong I'm in the head room sucking on the dick I'm in the head room getting real sick Cause I ate a million jelly beans

With a stick It bug in the jelly bean cup A stick buck We're playing with them Jubio And I got sick as fuck Steak as fuck Jellie jelly jelly jelly

Beans Jelly beans In the jelly bean Patrick in the cut And he's looking real mean Came through A something I thought that it was green

I ate a coffee bean That makes me want to kill myself Every single Christmas I go and participate Nelf on the shelf It's my name nephew's favorite thing. I sit on the shelf.

I sit on the shelf and pretend I'm the elf. I just ate a pink bean. Oh my God. I'm starting to take me. I think this one is jelly. It feels so good when I put it inside my belly. Oh, my God. Now all my haters feeling jelly because they know that I'm Jack like Nelly,

except I did. commit the same crimes that he did. Look those up. It's actually pretty bad what he did. He did crime. Adam Savage, crazy blob. That's what I'm talking about. I just lost my fucking job.

Put another one on, Juby. This is good. This is good. Whatever you feel like. We got about five minutes left. Look up Scott the Woes type beat. Oh, wait. It ought to film? Oh, here we go.

First one. Let's go. You got this, Patrick? You want to start? Hit it. You want to start? No, you got it. I just saw Dewey Decimal sign.

I feel like I might be going blind. I feel like I got a great big behind. It is big and it's oily. I came through and I came in the cut looking boily. Oh, my God. I think I got boils. Oh, I think I think I have. I got leprosy. I came through in. I got the leprosies. I got the plague. I went to the

Hagan gave it to every single person that was in there. Then I went to, I went to a place called been there, done that. It was a restaurant where you get food that's already been eaten and it's already been eaten. I came through looking real beaten. I came through and I got cleason. I've been playing baseball. And you know, I came through and I went AWOL. And you know, I'll go and I go so hard. Jubio made this beat you fucking stupid disgusting. Fuck, it really throws me off when you do that. I came through wearing me a blue hat, not a red hat because I'm not a Trump supporter,

but I came through and I stopped the whole border. I said, don't come through Jubio. And we are not Culeo. We're not Culeo because I think he died a couple years ago. Living in a gangst of paradise now, rest of peace, here's your crown. Sam. I just got a text from Joe.

Yeah, I saw it too. He says we have to finish the beans. I'll have a few more. Double purple. pulled up in the cut. I truly have to go throw up, man. That's okay. You can go throw up in a couple minutes.

Put on another beat. Not yet. You have a couple minutes. Put on another beat. Yeah, throw on one more. You want me to start? You want to start. I'm kind of like, I feel like it's like

perking me up in some way. Why is it such an amazing three song talking? I turn this beat into a jelly bean party. He turned the jelly bean to a party And now my boy Patrick He'd be gone off that motherfucking carty Oh, he'd been eating on some beans Oh, in the cut looking clean

Turn this beat into a jelly bean party You I'm solving mysteries with my boys hardy Wanna go and get some stew that's hearty I want to go to another city that's a party yeah go in there get a costume dress up like the flash canopy lake and I'm on the log flume

I got a shit so bad right now probably feel like I am a fucking cow because I ate all these jelly beans and it wasn't really clean and I want to fucking kill myself because my stomach feels like fucking shit I want to take my stomach out

and shoot a gun at it I want to take my gun and put it in the attic because you can't have it He wants to fucking kill himself Can't have a gun in this city So I have to hide it in my attic He can't have no gun in the city It's so fucking hard to kill myself

They make it really hard To kill yourself in the city Make it truly hard to kill yourself in the city It's really making me feel shitty Like these jelly beans Jelly beans Jelly beans got me acting really means Yeah, I live above my means

My means And I saw a guy jump through a screen Door at a party And everybody We saw the mystery like my boy's Hardy I'm repeating myself I just got poop on my shardy On my parties

I got poop on my shardy I got poop on my shardy At the party My God. The poop leaked through my jeans. The poop leaked through my jeans. Well, guys, I think we... I think there's one more...

It's midnight. It's midnight. Guys. Oh, my God. Thank you so much, everybody. Thank you. And I think there's just a couple more beans in there. Oh, wait.

Patrick. What is that? What is this? What? What? Huh? Oh, it was butter popcorn. Wait, why am I over there?

Guys, remember the key I just found? There's a door over here. I wonder if it goes to it. Ah! Wra! Wra! Wra! Wra!

Wow! Look! Look! Patrick is transforming! Ah! Patrick is transforming! Wow! This is great.

Aw. Yeah! Yeah. Oh yeah. Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Butterfly. Woo! Butterfly time. Happy 300 episodes from everyone at the podcast of Outlist. A host or like tour guide or whatever was like a white gay guy and he was like, you know, he's just, he was acting crazy and he's being funny and saying all and doing all his stuff, you know, and at one point there was like kind of a lull in this stuff. he was doing he was doing a lot of bullshit there are two crazy things he did yeah there was like

kind of a lull and he was like just to the ladies in the back like the black kid he was like so uh did you guys like the black little mermaid and there was like silence and then one of them just went what

what? They're like what are you talking about the what's the black little mermaid you're like a black little mermaid you know there was like a black little mermaid movie and they're like yeah we're like adults they're gonna watch those guys in movies I was trying so hard not to laugh

I was like sitting like directly in front of my just sitting there like this like there's another thing he did another thing that he did where this one is even crazier this so like part of it is like he would like when someone was like walking on the sidewalk he would like yell and be like hey like and like I like your shirt or like try and like just like do crowd work

with like a people person on the sidewalk or whatever don't tell me this was also racial dude oh boy racial beyond belief if you thought that the first thing I said was crazy this man is completely racial this guy is a terrorist we were driving

he's a racial terrorist just wait to you so he yells at people on the sidewalk and he does that whole thing right that's the thing he's been doing the whole time yeah we we go down the street he's telling us Okay, and coming up here,

this is the house where Martin Luther, King Jr., lived with her. Like, oh, cool. And there's, like, of course, you know, there's a bunch of, like, black families, like, walking, like, you go to see that. Like, you know what I mean?

And it's all, yeah, it's all black families, like, watching, walking, taking their kids to, like, see this, like, historic place. And they're all, like, standing outside. And the mood is definitely, like, it's like, we're going to see this, like, important thing. And here comes the funny. And he's like,

Just like, hey, hey, look at all these beautiful black ladies.