Podcast About List - Ep. 307 - A Frank Discussion of Manners & Etiquette

Episode Date: September 18, 2024

It's time to finally clean up our act so today we're going to learn how to treat each other, and everyone else around us, with proper etiquette. You're invited to partake in the most respectful episode of our show to date. Subscribe to us on YouTube youtube.com/@PodcastAboutList Buy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

Do we have to record today? I'm so hungry. Dude, me too, man. It's okay. I didn't eat lunch either. It's only 2 p.m. I had a bag of 12. 2.12.

Yeah, I wish I had that. A bowl of cereal, a smoothie, and a bar. You've eaten three square meals today. A bar, a Kirkland bar. A Kirkland bar with nuts and chocolate in it. I think it's at a cookland. I was like, what the heck is cookland? This is a rip of an RX bar, I'm sure.

Yeah. It's actually, I think, a rip of a kind bar. Oh, I hate those kind bars. You don't like kind bars? Too many nuts, man. Yeah, they do. They do overdo it in the nuts. Have it be of some kind of meal.

That nut should be... Just a meal? Some kind of... Like a Kine or an RX bar. Those are... Yeah, I'm not the biggest fan of the RX bar. Oh, I hate the RX bar. They got...

You're talking about them as a METRX. They're the ones... I think we even talked about how much we hated RX bars a few episodes ago. Those are the... Those are the ones. Those are the Snowpiercer ones. Yeah. What does that mean?

Yeah, that's what it was. They're, uh, it's a train. I'm trying not to swear, but I feel strongly about them. Mm-hmm. They're like little, they're like basically bugs. They might as well be. I don't think so. I think it's a low food.

You don't have much of a leg to stand on. I have two, in fact. When it comes to this, I feel. And how's that? I think you like weird food. I feel that your food preferences are not to be trusted or taken on the same level as anybody else's. You have a cereal life and I make amazing pasta all the time. Pasta sounds great for breakfast.

I have eaten it for breakfast. It sounds like a great thing to have in the morning. I make eggs. I make eggs for breakfast. I'm an egg man. I have an egg sandwich today, actually. Also, it's great to have eggs every day. Don't think that, I think you're proving that you're not a normal food person.

I think I don't think every person. I think normal people do not make eggs every morning. I don't think eggs is the most common possible breakfast. I think cold pasta is weird, but I think eggs is normal. I think it's normal, but every day. Every day, I would say that it is probably the staple every day. breakfast food. Yeah. And it's much healthier than cereal.

And no one's talking about health. Well, then why you're talking about R-X bars. We're talking about normal. See, this is, you can't even really understand what normal means. I understand what normal is. Yeah. Normalcy is not always good, though. You know what's normal in this world? So you are fake.

Normal that you could say normalcy is not good. That's what you're saying you realize you're not normal. Fake. Well, actually, it's not good to be normal. Why are you, you are hating? You're having bad manners, I would say. Yeah. You're having really rude manners.

You're having some kind of rudeness attack. You're having some kind of rudeness attack. You got all dressed up. You think you're better than me now. I didn't get all dressed up. I got a new shirt from Savers. Yeah, I can tell. Let's not talk about the divisiveness of shirts.

What's in the news? But anyway, the reason Caleb got mad at me really quick. We can litigate it is because I was trying to talk around this obliquely because I didn't want to spoil it for the episode it's not even that good of a thing but I thought that you were putting the hat on over your headphones so at the beginning of the episode you could take it off and say it's it's polite to take off I was about to actually do that but I didn't even think of it previous that's what I was trying to say and you what you thought that what I was saying was that you were evil no no no no no I just

didn't like you holding out the information to then reveal to the world because I want that to be disclosed to me privately when you think something that I'm going to do is going to be happening. I don't think I understand anything that's going on in the situation. But you're right and I will take my hat off. Yeah. I think Patrick, I would appreciate if you took your hat off as well actually. I'm not going to. And I was going to do the same way. Why? Because it fits in with my well guess what I'm with my thing. If a bald man with a lip pimple can take his hat off, look at that. I'm not a bald man. I'm a, I'm a, no, that's what I'm saying. But if I can as the, I would say the lowest wrong on society.

I don't think that's lowest rung. I think that baldness is supposed to be power. Baldness is worse. Baldness represents power. Baldness is even worse than even more about being white. Baldness is the worstest thing you can be with the hardest life possible. Baldness is, hold on, what did you say there? Baldness is even more worse than you can even be with just being a normal white.

You're saying whites are normal and everything else is weird. Whites are the worst thing ever. I think we can agree. He said there's a normalcy to what you. We're having some interesting conversations about normalness today. My idea of normalness is a white guy with hair who eats 10 eggs every day for breakfast. That's the most normal. That's like the average dead in the middle.

So a white guy is normal, but then if it was a black guy with eggs, you would say that's weird. I would say that's even better. You would say it's better, but it's not normal. It's not normal isn't about good or bad. You're saying it's not normal for a black guy to eat eggs. I would say that's. Yeah, that's what you're saying. It's not normal.

That's what you're saying here. Okay. It doesn't matter whether it's good or bad. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. That ain't normal. That's exceptional. Yeah. So, again, it's not about good or bad. Yeah. So you'd say it's not normal. It's really good. It's not normal. Why are you guys trying to trap me in a little bird cage today? I would just let me fly. Baldness is the hardest thing you can be on planet Earth is being bald.

And being born bald is pretty rare, but that's also pretty. No, that's not. Being bored and bald is normal. No, most basic. Babies are born with a little wispy hair. I'm thinking we should have picked a different theme for this episode. It seems like we have something we're gravitating towards. Yeah. Normalcy.

What's normal? Interesting. Is there normal? Normalness. That is a good idea for an episode. We cut it on that. Normalness. What is the norm?

Yeah. What is normal? Is it normal for a black guy to eat eggs, Caleb Ash. I think it's normal. I don't know why I said that. I think it's completely normal. I don't even, but is that, is that, is that how? I don't even know if that.

is racist. What? If I said that wasn't normal, which I think it is, would that even be? I think most things that start with is it normal for a black guy too. It's probably not.

Probably racist. Yeah, I guess you're right. You know, I'm just a I'm just a guy trying to navigate this. But I guess Patrick is the one who asked the question. What did I ask? Thank you. I guess now I think about it.

No, no, no. That's not a normal question. I said that. I said that because he said, he implied by what you said. He implied that it is normal to be white. I had no normal... That was his implication.

For me, it is, because I am. He said the most normal thing that you can be is a white man. I did, but there was extra stuff there. I don't think there was. Oh, yeah, you said the, okay, you said that the most normal thing... I said with hair and you eat eggs every day. And you eat 10 eggs every day. Yeah.

And the implication was it is abnormal for a black person to eat eggs. You're trying to make me sound like a super villain from a movie. I'm not trying to say anything. I don't think super villains from movies. are going around saying it's not normal for black guys to eat eggs. I think that's really a super villain thing. You're saying even supervillains wouldn't say that. So I'm sounding worse than a villain.

That's how you're trying to make me sound. For no reason, by the way. I didn't do anything. I didn't say it. That is what nowadays with woke culture, that is what DC and Marvel movies are like now supervillains who are like, black guys can't eat eggs. And the superheroes are like,

that's what Lex Luthor. No, they can eat whatever they want. Watch this. We're going to kill you. And the new James Gun, Superman, Lex Lutth. is going to say that. You can't eat eggs. Well, hello, Superman.

It seems you have foiled my plan to stop all black people from eating eggs. You know what I think is? Which was my plan all along? But what you haven't realized is that I've already gone halfway through with this. With what would even his plan? What would it go halfway through?

What would the plan be there? What's the halfway point? Would he just try to reinforce that stereotype? You got to watch the movie and find out. This is the trailer. That's what I mean. This is the trailer. He makes up a stereotype.

And then he does it? I don't know. This is James Gunn's IP. I can't really spoil it. This is something that came from you guys. I didn't say anything. You guys collaborated on this one. I didn't.

I had no part. I was sitting here. I didn't say a word. I'm all fucked up about this chain and I think it's causing a lot of animosity. What chain? Yeah, the chain is upsetting me. We have a confused. What chain?

Oh, the chain. Oh, right. Because we know that he stole the chain. I didn't steal the chain. You stole the chain. No, Pierce took the chain and chained his grill up. No, you're making... Is that a different chain or is that his...

Okay. Well, at the very least, it's a different lock. Guys, the chain... So there's a big chain and lock. That's his lock. He's the only one who can touch that grill. God, I wish I had a key. I'm going to explain what happened.

If you're a hoodlum or a hooligan, please close your ears. Guys, the chain that locks up the gate to the little... front area of our office where we keep the trash where we keep the trash and we used to keep little patio furniture is it was stolen no that got taken by Caleb oh yeah it was mine to begin with no it was not it wasn't but we use it for my wedding or something I don't remember where it is who was what who was that it was all of ours we got it from home depot oh yeah yeah yeah and then we had a plant too and then we had so many big it's so many big plans those chairs though it's okay

they're missing yeah I don't think anyone ever sat down I sat in them You would sit in them. I would see you with your little espresso, your little affalgado. I wish I had an espresso. And your big sun hat? I sat and read a book in those chairs probably two times and they were not comfortable.

Yeah. Better to sit on the ground. Yeah. And you were next to the trashed. So the chain that locked this area that we have been told specifically by our landlord. And by the way, the gate is about two feet tall.

This chain is probably the most fixated on item by our landlord. More than, he walks in here. There's glue on the floor. there's blood on the wall and he doesn't, he's blind to it. Patrick is making porn and pivot. He doesn't even understand. He can't even see. But he walks in and the chain is locked.

The chain is two inches lower than it should be. He'll come in, he'll knock on the door and he'll say, the kids will go out in. The kids will be able to push open the gate because they'll push open the gate. And not only that one time he told you that, what if a really skinny guy went through the crack in the gate, which is about maybe it would have been four inches. He said a skinny guy.

He's like a really skinny guy. I could slide in there. I locked the chain at the bottom of the gate instead of the top. And he's like, see, yeah, you could push open the top of the gate like this much. And someone could just slide in. The gate, the fence, by the way. If someone wants to steal trash. The fence is two and a half feet tall.

It's this tall. Yeah, anybody could jump over it. You could jump over it and you could do graffiti on the building, which is his fear, which is already happening. But he's not aware of jumping. No, he doesn't. He doesn't know. I think that he forgot. I think in his old age.

He's from an age. I think in his old age, he forgot about jumping. Yeah. It's been so long since he's jumping. What's the last time you guys jumped? Oh, I jumped constantly. I jumped the other day with my nephew. He wanted to see how tall I could jump.

Yeah. I jumped. When did I last? I'm trying to think of when I last jumped. I get the closest, the last thing I've done to a jump is kind of like one, it's like hopping off of a step ladder. I jumped at the show. Oh, also speaking of our landlord and the show, I jumped at the show.

The show that we did, the last, world's biggest army. I was in here rehearsing for that like solo because we all did we all did our own solo things and I one of my my character thing was that I was a magician teacher yeah and I was in here by myself I did dress rehearsal because I had I had just bought the vest and I wanted to see how it looked so I was like putting it I was going in the bathroom mirror and putting it on and one time he popped in and I was in that full full wig full suit like hat fedora and and everything. Doing magic tricks. Pretending to do magic tricks. And he popped in and said, hey, I noticed that you didn't sweep the walkway.

You know that the same thing that he said when he came in during the 12-hour episode. He came in during the 12-hour episode and said, I'll gladly pass the final along to you guys. He said it like verbatim. Yeah, he has, he's like a soundboard.

He has specific things that he can only say. He also doesn't know who anybody is in the world. He does extremely rude. He'll call me and he'll say, hey Chris and then he'll say oh sorry I mean Caleb yeah yeah he he came in the other day and he's pretty rude he had me he said that I need somebody to be in the building from two to five like something like that two to four three 30 to four I think yeah something like

that and I it was there was a window there was a window of time there was a window of time that would be a crazy yeah but it was a window of time where he's like I need somebody to be in in there and it was that he needed to hang up two pieces of paper in our window. Yeah, which I was tempted to tell him on the phone when he asked me to have someone there. I was somebody to tell him you can just go in and do it if we have a key

but I don't want that precedent. No, I don't want his rummaging hands being rummaging. Also, he could have, I mean, look at those two pieces of paper, man. He could have just handed us. They are just two pieces of paper. He could have just been like, oh yeah, I've given you two pieces of paper. I need you to hang them up in the window. But when he was in here, he was like, what do you think? Should I hang them up right here?

Is this good? He wanted your advice. That's why he wanted you there. Well, he then he looked at me and said, so how come when I come in here, it's always you and never the two guys I rented to? Yeah. And then he asked, do you work for them.

And you should say yes, you do work for us. I said, we all work together. We're co-workers. We're not. You work for us. And he said, interesting. How's that? He said it's interesting that you too.

He finds strange things interesting. But you're just lying to them. He said it's interesting that you two are not, never here. Well, we are here. He said, he asked me, am I, are you a subleaser? Oh, he was trying to catch us in some course. We should make you sublet, actually.

That's a great idea. That is a good idea. You already do. You already do later. Do we? Yeah. Why do we make you do that? Is I sleep in here?

Well, you do do everything else in here. Yeah. And you like the air conditioning more than anybody else. I do like that we should put you. You do basically sublet. We should put you on a 70% sublet. All right. You're fine with that?

Yeah. I can't believe he's trying to he thought we were subletting this fucking shit hole. What the fuck is wrong with him? It's nice. Can you imagine? Subletting it? Subletting it's one guy to use the computer?

Yeah, that would be awesome. Well, he's trying to, yeah, he's trying to get us in trouble which is rude and it's not in good manners. It is bad. Okay, today let's, I think we can even, I think this is a rich topic that we should get into before we even bring up the PowerPoint. You know what we could bring up is eczema.

You have eczema? I guess I have eczema. It would be rude if you dip that in my soup or something. Yeah. Just thinking of rude things, you could do with that. Okay. But let's center it on the on politeness. Okay.

Because we had a good deal of rudeness. That's true. Already. We've explained a lot of rudeness. Yeah. And we are rude to each other. And there's going to be more rudeness. There is?

Yeah. I sure hope not. I got to know if I can. Because you guys are going to learn so, okay, well, I don't want to spoil it, but I'll explain it. I'll explain it when it comes up. Okay. I'll explain it with it. So then let's talk about politeness. It's like you said, center it on politeness. Guys, I think that politeness is one of the most important things that you can do or say in any kind of conversation. I very much value being polite and I've been made aware that I think that very strange things are rude.

Strangeness is rude. What do you mean? Like I have a very weird threshold for what considered to be rude yeah like how so i got mad at rex and brian the other day because they they left a glass at a bar on the wrong side of the bar from the bartender what do you mean by that i don't know why i found that rude what do you mean the wrong side the bartender was on one side and i was saying i went and put my glass next to them and they left the the glass where we were sitting and i was like they were like they were like they were like why and i was like because you're you're you're you were not raised in a barn, like a goat or a donkey? But a goat or a donkey wouldn't leave a glass somewhere.

That's what I'm saying. I don't know what in me thinks that that is rude. But some part of me is like, well, I'm saving the bartender four steps. So I need to move this glass over here. Well, they want to go back and forth. For me, yeah, I would almost think that it's rude to put the glass in front of the bartender. Yeah. See, if I saw somebody do that, I would probably be, I wouldn't be, I probably wouldn't say anything,

but I'd probably be like, that's strange. It almost seems like I'm trying. to get a refill. Yeah, it's kind of, it's almost to me, in my brain, it's like you walk out of a movie theater and you hand your popcorn bucket to the person. Exactly, it's polite to put it on the floor. Yeah.

Or put it in, I guess, in the trash. Yeah, what would be most polite at the bars to walk back and wash the glass. See, I would do that if they would let me. That was, I guess that's what's... Or, I mean, they must. Do you think it is rude, when you have guests over,

do you think that it is polite or impolite for them to start doing your dishes? Did they ask? No. I don't know. I think it might be... I think of it as impolite. I think it's impolite to do anything without asking when you're a guest.

Is it impolite to do... Even if you know where the bathroom is? Where's the bathroom? Huh? Is it impolite to clean stuff when you stay somewhere? Okay, if you're hanging out with somebody, they start... To fully clean? If they start shining your shoe...

Cleaning after yourself. That's different, though. That's different. That's different. Like, making the bed or stripping the bed or... But that would be doing the dishes. But if you invite somebody over and you make them dinner and then they do the dinner package is that you are you are they're giving them a restaurant

level experience i don't and so you i see i think that we're unfortunately i think we're gravitating back towards what we really want to talk about today i think we're rude i think no i think we're talking about whether things are normal or weird well that's what manners are manners are because manners are different in other countries i'm as this comes out i will be in the far east Italy. And I will be very confused. I'll probably be doing so many social faux pos that I don't even realize, being as rude as possible. I think that manners

are the same everywhere. And I think that it's a trick. I think it's conspiracy. When they say, oh, when you finish eating your bowl of noodles in Japan, you're supposed to belch in the host's face. And that's a mark of respect. I don't think that's true. I think that's something they tell you when you're in first grade. I don't think that's real. I think if you went to Japan and did that, you get your shit rocked apart. Isn't it?

You get your, excuse me. You get your do-do. You get your do-d-d-touched. Is it? What country is it that I'm thinking of? America. Yeah, we're like the king of rudeness. Yeah.

But we don't even realize it. I've been told from Europeans is they think that we're loud and we're fat, which that's rude, it's calling us fat. And the French are very rude, I've learned. French are completely rude, is what I heard. The French have different levels of rudeness. But they're rude to Muslims. They're rude to everybody.

Yeah. But probably especially people from other worlds. And they think that we're rude. Yeah. I think the only difference in, I think the only difference in politeness between countries is just the language you say things in. Yeah. Interesting. That's what I think what it is.

That would make some sense to me. See if we play. What is that mean? But when I, what the hell did you say? Do you say you want to see me play? Duchen. The hand? You're about to get the hand.

Yeah, you're going to get the hand. What is this? talking like. First, you were being so rude about my shirt, which I was excited about that I got from Savers. And now you're telling me I'm going to get the hand? Yes, you're going to get the hand. What does that even mean? Stop speaking that crazy stuff you were doing. And you won't find out. Okay, can I ask you a question? What? Is it polite to RSVP? Yes. That's the exact same language I just used. What? Sivu play. Well, not the exact same. Come on, watch it. R-Sv-P. Is that what that actually? But that's American.

See if we play. You can't be coming in here talking different languages to me and Patrick. You know I'm teaching you that different languages are part of politeness. It's all part. It's ticking me off. There's whatever this language is. This French actually I remembered. It's politeness.

What is polite? Not for us. RSP is polite. You said that. RSVP is not a different language. That's fine. But you told me it means that. You told me it means a different thing. I thought it meant.

right on time someone like me is vehicleing over over over pawn over on there pawn there i like that i thought that it was english rsvp i found out that in the european countries it's actually rude to tip unless it's a special occasion that's what i heard too i'm looking forward to that yeah that one is another one i think is not true And in Germany, it's true. That's what I think so, too. How can it be rude? Oh, no.

More money? They make the living way. It's not, it's not customary. No cousin. I can cuss if I want because I'm from a different. Well, say, pardon my language before you do it. I'm not struggling. Say part of my language before you do it.

And you say pardon my French if you ever going to talk like that again. That's right. And they should be saying that all the time over there. Yeah. Every single sentence to us. Yeah. And then pardon my French. You say, well, I don't like my French.

I fucking hate that. that language more than anything on earth. And I hate that country. I don't like it. I've never met anybody from there. Never met a French person. Never met anybody who even has spent any time there. There's no interesting part of Europe that's different enough from any other part.

Well, yes, that's true. It's all just kind of. You can choose any country you want to get rid of. Whenever it was, all the interesting historical stuff in Europe, in like the Roman Empire, the Roman Empire was the whole thing. It doesn't matter where you go. You're going to see all the same. It's all old.

It's all just columns and bullshit gods that are... I think you need a swear jar. I don't need a swear jar. I think you badly need a swear language. What about a swear pencil? Swearing, swearing, swearing, swearing. Okay, one tally. No, that was three tallies in the past rant.

Okay. You said F, S, and BS. Well, I don't think that cursing is rude. Here's what I think is rude. If you let your children curse before they turn... I'm trying to stop my child from cursing. I was a... You were a cussing.

You didn't grow up with any manners. I know that about you. No, I did not have any manners. We had napkins in my house. Really? Paper napkins. We used paper napkins. And if I came to the dinner table with my shirt off, I'd get a whooping.

That didn't matter for me. I'd go ahead. At the dinner table with your shirt off? I tried to. Yeah, I would sometimes come in from the plane outside and I'd just sit down immediately. Wouldn't put down a shirt. That wouldn't fly in my house. Sometimes, when I was a little kid, when I was a really young kid,

eating dinner at the dinner table with no clothes on. Yeah, I'd just wear my diaper. No, I'd have my underwear on. Oh. Well, I'd actually have my diaper on. I would be in my high chair. Yeah. Which is rude to sit at a separate table.

Yeah. I would say, I don't want to sit with you. That is rude. Kids are so rude for that. Oh, I get my own little table because I'm so special and it's higher than everybody else. You know what it was also rude is that they, that I would eat with. with my hands. Well,

were you eating a hamburger and fries? Maybe. It depends on the day. Well, that's not a weird when you were in a diaper and a high chair,

you were eating hamburger and fries on some days? Yeah. That doesn't surprise me. Well, they would chop it up. On a Willett blend episode? Chop up the hamburger and stuff.

Yeah, which is much more polite. Chop it up. Exactly. And not like a chopped cheese. No. No.

Chop it up with the bun and the lettuce and the mustard. Mm-hmm. That is a polite thing to do. You know, I never did your parents ever threaten you with uh they would never do it because it was expensive but like an etiquette school when you're grown up when you'd do something rude no my mom would always say oh i'm

gonna send you to cotillion wow i never got that my parents i don't even know that was real my mom was very concerned with etiquette i learned my i learned manners yes you have good manners it has it's has never left me yeah show me some manners right now that's the posture i'm seeing elbows off the elbows are off the table and by the way four on the floor four on the floor yep not crossing your legs yeah sitting here because that's so disrespectful if somebody has their arm is using their arms i don't want to see somebody's arms what is that come from napkin on the lap you have a napkin on your lap yeah the food's not going there though it's going mostly on your lap the way i eat to be fair my food's going into my lap yeah yeah but i am a messy eater yeah yeah but that's i mean if the food's gonna get

anywhere. I feel like it's going to bounce off your shirt and I get on your lap. At a restaurant with multiple other people and the waiter takes the plates, the table will be clean at everyone else's and mine, it will look like a splatter. It gets everywhere. I get food everywhere. That's fair. Off the plate.

Tomato soup. That's a dangerous. A sandwich. Everywhere. You'll get off of the plate sandwich ingredients. I don't think I've eaten a meal in the past entire lifetime that hasn't gotten off the plate. Really? I really think that.

See, that strikes me. as bad manners. Yeah. Yeah. I don't even know that it's happening until the plate moves. And it's under the plate

and it's a circle of the plate. I became legendary in my family one time because I got mustard on my back through my t-shirt somehow when I was eating a hot dog. How did that happen? We still don't know.

It's a real big debate. It comes up every time my family's all together. I think that you got pranked. I think your brother put mustard on you. That's like a 20-year prank at this point. Yeah.

He still hasn't revealed. How did he get it behind my shirt? How did he get it behind the shirt? Yeah. Like, wait, what do you mean? Inside the shirt on the back? I had a white t-shirt on. My mom saw that there was mustard on my shirt, and so she grabbed it and saw that there

was a glob of mustard under my shirt on my skin. Was somebody eating over you? I was the town napkin. Was somebody eating like you're sitting here and somebody eating above you? Maybe. Was it a barbecue? Maybe it wasn't a barbecue. was an inside dinner of hot dogs.

And maybe my dad or something, my dad was really fast. Maybe my dad grabbed his plate and zoomed over to his chair and the velocity made an excess mustard fall off. You know what I think it was? I think it's like the trick where you go like this and there's a coin where your mom said,

oh, what's this? And then pull the mustard out. Put the mustard on your wife. Because you just wanted to beat me up? Yeah. Wow. It's true. That's what happened to you as a kid.

You got beat up for mustard. She used to both my eyes at the same time Punch so hard Break my orbital thingies Whatever this is called That's polite That's polite See that's polite

To teach To hate your kid All these old people Who are obsessed with politeness They get beat up by teachers That's impolite That's why they're obsessed with politeness Yeah

I don't find that polite at all They think that a teacher Is gonna get their kid I saw the craziest thing The other day Where There was a little kid in a row Oh, my goodness.

I got ice cream. Oh, my goodness. Sorry. No, you made me burp. I had a sympathetic burp. That's not a real thing. It's not how that works. It was a sympathetic burp.

There was an ice cream truck in my neighborhood, and a little kid went and got some ice cream, and then he ran back to his mom's car and almost got hit by an Amazon driver. And then the Amazon driver stopped and started talking to the mom. Then the mom looked at, was talking to the Amazon driver. I saw it from down the street. Mom was talking to the Amazon driver. driver and I just hear

boom right in the hit her kid backhanded right in front of it I heard it from I was like half a block away and I could hear I could hear the slap and then I heard her go you I can't believe you I trusted you and then the Amazon driver

I'm like walking towards it's right in front of my house sounds like more of a boyfriend girlfriend I think it might have been her boyfriend yeah we don't know that he was a kid but he's little for sure and he liked ice cream but who does but everybody likes ice cream i heard uh amazon driver tell the woman like i mean you got to watch please don't hit him yeah and she went oh i'm gonna hit him and i'm gonna hit him hard i was like

holy shit it's so funny to your your child almost gets her ice cream you heard him she threw the ice cream on the ground no it was fucking and that's what the kids are going to remember sadly yeah yeah he's not going to remember he's not going to remember not getting hit by a car not running. He's not going to remember, oh, I shouldn't run in the street. He's going to remember my ice cream. My mom threw my ice cream. She picked up the whole cone and went like that. What kind of ice cream was it? Did you pick it up and eat it?

I would have. What was it, though? If it didn't have so much hate on it. She was covered in hate like that. She was covered in hate. Saying to a guy after the guy says, hey, please don't hit your kid. Oh, I'm going to hit him. And I'm going to hit him hard. Yeah. But what else is she going to say?

Okay. Okay, my bad. Yeah, everything you say, Amazon, man. Oh, okay, stranger. No, I'm glad, actually. It was polite of her to stick by her guns or her hands. It's kind of rude of that guy to think that he's going to be able to man-splain to her. Yeah, it's true.

He doesn't get to be in their life now and act like the kid's dad just because he almost hit it with the car. Yeah. That's not like... That's a good point. That doesn't give you any connection to this child. Yeah, be for real. Yeah, be for real. You almost killed this kid. Yeah.

And that's impolite. Yeah. That's an impolite thing to do. And what the mom did was less. less than a fraction of what you were trying to do. Exactly. Which was kill a child. Yeah.

With a trust. Slap is not going to kill a child. You know how impolite a killing a kid is? Bad. Very, very impolite. It's probably the most impolite thing. It's considered a faux pa at the dinner table. Even in France.

In France. Even if that's why it's in France. Well, I don't remember what I'm saying. That's perfectly okay. Okay, let's learn politeness. Okay. Let's learn about politeness. Okay.

oh man wait is that polite to do that I don't know say oh man oh man like that like an old man I don't know if that's impolite but it's definitely not polite no it's not polite no it's but I don't think it's rude oh brother oh my

oh my is that politer oh it's Joe now that's the king of politeness Joe doesn't have a key we let him in I locked it because I have been thinking about Dan I mean somebody coming in and pretty sure I said his name on the most recent episode

that is out today. Well, that's okay. That's fine. It looks like Joe was walking in. Hey, Joe, and Alex. Okay, pretty impolite, or maybe polite. I think they're trying to be polite.

They're acting polite. He just dropped his bag on the table. Yeah. And straight to the bathroom. And he said, he said you suck. That's very impolite. Okay. Who said we said?

suck okay Alex did so I went to uh Reddit.com slash manners and I was looking for the thing is you know what I realized a lot of the people who who are experts in the world of mannerology and etiquetteation are not so much using the computer that much I think yeah as far as I could tell the people who really are dialed in are not doing so much of using the computer because they didn't that's not how they learned no they learned from a book and if you're at the point where you are so desperate for manners that you are looking up uh manners forum which is something that i googled thinking there was going to be a manners forum then you're probably already far too gone too far gone yeah uh so i this was a pretty small subreddit and i found a bunch of others there was one there was one subreddit that was called deli etiquette that was just one guy who made a subreddit telling people like he ran a deli and he was like don't order us cold cuts after

if it's one hour before we close and it was every single thing was just something like that so it's very specific why not ordering cold cuts an hour before they close see i learned this this is a new manner i have oh because they got to they got to wrap it up yeah they got to wrap it all up so then you come in you say let me get a cold cut now they have to unwrap all the crap yeah yeah so that's rude and they have to clean the slicing machine yeah that makes sense and do not

order fresh mozzarella and ask them to slice it with the slicer let them slice it because it grinds up

the slicer it gets it all nasty I could imagine that happening the mozzarella is too rude to order is it rude to order something like

squid or lobster at a deli if they don't have it I would think it's ordered it's rude I don't think it's rude I think if you ask beforehand do you have

lobster or squid and they say is it rude to order beef Wellington one minute before they close? Yes. Yes. That's very good. What if it's for next week? If you're placing an order? They could probably do that. I'm going to put

in this order but make it next week. Well, I think a deli... I want to pick it up next week. I have ordered stuff for the deli that I didn't think they had the capability to make. And then they make it. Like a cold hamburger? Do you think it's rude actually? Do you think it's rude to go to a deli and order a sandwich for a month in advance? That's probably rude.

That's probably rude. That might be read, but also... Can I order it? You call them. Why did you get a cold burger at a deli? Because I didn't want it then. I wanted it later. I guess that makes sense.

It makes perfect sense, doesn't it? It's not weird at all. And I asked for the lettuce on the side. Bye, guys. And have a good day. Yes. Good manners. Thank you.

And he said you too. Oh, wow. That's a little bit of a... Will you lock the door when you leave? Thank you, bro. Um, what was I saying? Oh yeah. Okay. So this is from R slash manners. This is eating with a hat on. Am I the only one who finds it terribly rude when people eat with hats on? What do we think about this one? I actually have had an experience with this recently. Tell me about your experience. I was in Atlanta. I ate dinner. I removed my hat to eat dinner. Okay. They do not have a coat rack or a hat rack or any type of thing. So I just put. the hat on the chair next to me. There was an empty chair at the table.

Of course, I forget the hat. No. I'm able to go back the next day and retrieve the hat, luckily. But I was just in Boston. I was eating dinner. I thought I should remove my hat to be polite. Look around. Again, no hat rack.

No nothing. I leave the hat on to eat dinner. Why are... Did I do wrong? No, no. I would say that you... There's no impropriety there. because you have a reason to be doing it. I would say...

I looked around nobody else on the whole place was wearing a hat. Well, that's what I'm saying, though. I don't understand this one. Because what about a hat? What? Is something on your head? You know what it is?

What? Hats used to be different. Yeah. That's true. Hats used to be like two feet tall. This is archaic. Hats used to be like big top hats with the top part is like this

and it's filled with beans and there's smoke coming out of it. If my son is wearing a giant cowboy hat, that is definitely a really. This is definitely That is why the old people think it's rude Because they grew up

When it was wizard hats I'm wearing my box logo Supreme Hat Yeah They shouldn't have a fucking problem Yeah But they're from an age Of the Trilby

And that was a very different Nights helmets Yes With the base plume Exactly the plume What's that little one That women wear The pillbox hat

The pillbox hat Yeah What was it called that for Because it helps It looks like a pillbox I thought it held them No They put their pills in there

That's you're I think it looks like a pillbox. You think every woman was all drugged up on benzos back in the day that they had to put them in their hat? Well, I think if you were drugged up on benzos, you would put pills in your hat. That's true. Because you think it's the pillbox.

Can we talk about why the top hat is the most lazy name for a hat of all time? Yeah, it's bullshit. They're all top hats, yeah. Well, not, it's BS. Fuck, shit. No. My goodness. Why did I think it?

My stars. Yeah, you can't say. You know what? I do think is rude is taking the Lord's name in vain. Try not to do that. I haven't done it once. Well, try not to. I have been trying not to my whole life. Continue to try them.

I think that he would want you to use his name to remind people of how powerful he is. But not like, oh, God, God damn it. Yeah, but that's the most powerful thing. I know. That was the worst curse in my house growing up. It was a GD. If someone said a GD, instant. I wasn't even allowed to say sucks.

that's awful that stinks that stinks you said you were abused you couldn't say suck man

no no I couldn't say like oh the school did I suck I couldn't say that we had a rule in my house where you couldn't say somebody was something you had to say that they were acting like something

so I couldn't say to my brother that he was gay I had to say he was acting gay my mom had no problem with that at all yeah so anyway eating with a hat on that's this is this is just some guy watched the sopranos that he was like do they do that yeah he does that tony soprano episode don't do this don't do this episode thing it's like one of the first things he does is he goes up to a guy and says like take you fucking hat off oh okay he does that you can't even swear you should bleep out the swear in a quote you should say you're bleeping hat off

no you're gonna do you're not allowed to do the tally because it's something that you would do me it's so out of character for me to draw on the table that it's completely fine okay uh next slide was she rude okay now this is a very complicated one okay I remember this incident that happened 13 years ago, and it still bothers me to this day. During high school, I went on a trip to Europe with my class. Upon going home in the plane, I wore a bracelet that I had bought there. It king of look like a rubber band, but it wasn't. My teacher saw the bracelet, and she knows my dad's occupation, which is a surgeon, and that my mom is a single mom who didn't work. She knows because she asked me.

I felt like she was jealous of me for something because my dad is rich and my mom didn't work. She asked, are you wearing a bracelet? I said, yes. She said, I just thought it was a rubber band. Oh my God. This comment bothered me so much

and I remember thinking what the bleep was that supposed to mean. I interpreted it as if she was trying to say if your dad's a surgeon, then why are you wearing a rubber band for a bracelet because only poor kids would wear rubber bands as bracelet? Was she rude? Did this have something to do with jealousy?

or did I give more meaning into thea than there actually is? Because this is the greatest slight that I've ever experienced in my life. I have to say, I don't think I've experienced it very often, but have you ever met, I feel like meeting somebody like this is the scariest thing in the world. When somebody confides in you about something that they experience that they thought was really like. The worst light that they've ever experienced in their life

is that somebody thought their bracelet was a rubber band. Yeah, like somebody says something to them, and then they're like, what? Did you hear that? Yeah. Yeah. And you have, you have, you have to be like,

Oh, that's crazy. A rubber band, what do they think that you're, yeah, she was totally in the wrong. That's, wow.

13 years later out of high, this was in high school, two years ago. But, is this rude? To call somebody's bracelet a simple rubber band. It's not rude

because it says, it looked like a rubber band. Yeah, it looked like, this is the same rule that my mom had. You're acting like a rubber band. You're looking like a rubber band.

But you're, are one. Yeah, it's not a rubber band. It's probably a silly band. It's probably just a bracelet. And those 13 years ago, those were popular at the time. Silly bands, were they? I guess they were wearing rubber band bracelets.

Yeah. I used to like to wear rubber band around. I like to snap myself. Yeah, because you could shoot them as a gun style. No, that was rude. That's rude. That one? That's rude.

Not when it's done in play. Playing has... I wouldn't shoot it at somebody. Playing is kind of rude. It depends on if you're... If it's out of playtime. If it's out of playtime, it's rude. If it's out of playtime.

time it's rude. Next is also for manners. Was I impolite or was he? Okay, this is another very deep one. Okay. I asked my brother for some squash and he puts four little cubes

of squash on my plate. I say, for real, you're going to give me four singular cubes. Could I have some more? He gives me this dumb, blank stare for a minute until I say, what is it? He says, I was waiting for a please. That was really impolite. He reacted as if he had given me a normal serving and I

was being really extra. If it were a normal serving, then yes, saying for real that's it would have been rude of me. It was four little cubes of squash. Side note, in my family, we only really say please if the favor is a big inconvenience. For something small, we'd be like, will you pass the salt? Will you help me carry all this? We all skip pleas for small stuff, my brother included. So he wasn't actually offended by my manners. He just felt like being patronizing with it. I feel like it's weird to give someone four tiny little squash cubes and then fake being offended by their manners. In my opinion, my tone was informal and familiar, not impolite. What's the verdict on four squash? I think that this is, I think it's, I think there's a lot going on here. Yeah.

I think that first of all, rudeness between brothers doesn't matter. I think. I have something to reveal. This is a sister. Oh, it still doesn't matter. That's ice cold. I don't think it matters. Politeness and rudeness. You don't think that girls get a different manner out of a boy. No. Even as a brother? No. Wow. I don't think so. And here's the other thing.

I think that the, I think that four little cubes of squash, that was wrong. That was wrong. Don't know if, I don't think it was rude, but it was wrong. Yes. What I think is rude is, for real, you're going to give me four singular cubes. I think four cubes of squash. I think for real is one of the rudest things that is true. I think that there's back story to this.

I think to slang level. There has to be backstory to this. I think that there was a fight that happened earlier that day. What's great about, I like about this subreddit is this is kind of like the am I the asshole subreddit but it's for stuff that doesn't matter filters out and all this stuff where people are like, am I the asshole I slept with

my mom and stuff like that? Is my brother the asshole he gave me four cubes? Four little pieces of cubes. Four singular of squash. Not four double cubes. No, no, no. And they were standard cube size. They weren't even big cubes. No. But also why are you

depending on your brother to put cubes of squash on your plate? Get your own cubes. Yeah. I'm sure the cubes are still in the cube jar. Just grab them with your... Yeah. That's what I would... I would do this. Why not mash the squash up as well? Exactly. There's way better ways to prepare squash than cubing it. Yeah.

If you go to the next slide, people agreed with us that this is a bit absurd. You were extremely rude. You need to learn to say, please, and you need to stop jumping down people's throats when they do your favor and don't magically divine your unspoken intention. In the future, ask him to pass the dish of vegetables. Start with a please,

end with a thank you. They said, Extremely rude. WTF, it's not like they said, give me more. They said, could I have some more? Hell, he didn't even give one proper serving when he was asking for it. When someone asked you for something, you try to give the best and the most you can. Not four cubes of fucking squash. Could you please give me some more cubes? Thank you. That level of kindness is only necessary when interacting with your boss and parents of your significant other. Not with your brother. You can, but you don't have to. Plus, the food isn't even his. Wow. We don't know what the foodist is. And also it's clear that this was the same person

posting on an alt and then they realized that they didn't post on an alt they posted on their main thing and then deleted it. So that's what I liked about that one. But then this person was so obsessed with this question

that they did not only go to Manners. Go to the next slide. They also posted this in R slash family dinner which is a recipes subreddit for big recipes. And they actually posted that first. So they went first to our slash family dinner.

Someone said this is, yeah, this is not where to go. And they posted The Squash, who was impolite. The Squash, who was impolite is such a good title. R slash family dinner. I like that of going to just, just typing it into the URL. Because you're like, okay, well, this is surely about family dinner issues, everything relating to family dinner. But it's all about how many enchiladas you can make for like $10.

Yeah. next being a gentleman is a dying art and I like this guy this is from living sanely we live in an age where a man can brag about groping women and still be elected president wow remind you anybody Joe Bud on Rock Obama

and where every day there seem to be a new report of some prominent figure in the media or politics being fired after being accused of sexual misconduct we need to return to the idea of acting like a gentleman thank you of course no gentleman ever abused his authority to take advantage of someone in a position of weakness, and no lady exploits a system for profit. Thank you. Thank you for doing both sides there.

Now do non-binaries. Don't be a bad guy. Be a manly man with manly manners. Be a true gentleman. By registering on the link below, you will receive a digital copy of the manly manners book, and we'll receive notifications when the hardcover will be available. And I got this. This is from John F. Groom, because he's being suppressed. If you go to the next slide, look at this. there has been a critical error on this website. Oh, my God. That's horrible. You can't even get the manly manners book anymore.

Because I was so looking forward to unlocking what I feel is a side of, I think that my manners are bordering on feminine. And it would be nice to get a manly perspective on manners. But you can't even do that anymore. Next slide. Oh, yeah, this is the last thing is that I tried to, I would have had more slides, but R-slash polite living and R-slash-Proper are both private communities,

and I sent messages. I sent long-ass messages, asking you to be a part of this. Long-but messages. Long-crap messages. Or long messages. And I sent these long messages, and I said,

for yours, forever and always, Caleb Pitts, and I sent links to my website, and the photos of me. And it's been a week, and they have not responded. Links to your website? Yeah.

What website? My Facebook. Oh. You sent them your public Facebook? Yeah. I can't log into it anymore, so it's really old. Oh, okay. But I found it, and I sent him a link.

And I said, if you guys want to vet me on my properness and my polite living situation, check me out. And they never got back to me. That's impolite. That is what I was saying, is that I think that's very impolite. That's tardiness almost. It's polite to follow up, though. I think you're within your rights to follow up.

You're right. I think I will follow up as soon as I get home. And if I do get accepted to these communities, I will be reporting back. Thank you. Politely. Thank you. Your words forever and always, Caleb Pitts.

all right i went to the there's a bunch of etiquette and manners uh guides on wiki how and i went to the question and answer section below a lot of these guides where people are asking a lot of questions and i think we can weigh in on and some other people have weighed in on about what how to be polite and how to act in various situations so this first one i think is relevant to us we could use this going forward on the podcast how should i respond if i'm talking to someone and we are interrupted because I know a lot of times we get a little eager and we'll interrupt each other. So I think this can be a good kind of format we can use going forward to cut down a cross talk. So you could briefly comment on what the interrupting person just said if you feel the need to.

If not, kindly say, though what you said was interesting, I should finish this conversation first. We can talk later if you want. So this could be useful in the future. This could be useful for us. So let's try it. Get ready to interrupt. Okay. And I'm picking you for no particularly.

Cameron, the day has been amazing and the weather is all good. And there's many different events that will... I'm dying. Please interrupt me. There's many different events that will be happening this evening where different performers will grace the stage. and the food will be served hot or cold. And why are you not, I told you to interrupt me. Why aren't you interrupting?

No, I'm talking to you. You interrupt me. Let's try this again. Okay. You're going to interrupt. All right, I'll interrupt you. Cameron, the day's been great, and the weather is amazing. And there's many great events that will happen tonight.

The performers will grace the stage. that's a shush that's not an interrupt and that's even that's so rude that even outside of just doing a simulation

that we just did with simulated conversation that struck me as rude though what you said was interesting Caleb is having a conversation he should finish first

we can talk later if you want he nailed that but you didn't even a shush is not an interruption but he interrupted you was telling him oh that's true

that's true that's true okay you actually nailed it Yeah, that was very good. And can we admit that I did a really good job with my conversation too? You sounded natural. It felt like a real conversation. I know.

I should be an actor. Here's a question. If the table is too high, is it proper to place my plate on my lap and eat? Always try to mirror what your host is doing or other guests. If they eat from the lap, then you can't do, but if not, then no. What if your host is blind? This, yeah. Or what if I'm born?

What if I'm blind? I have to see? And I don't know whether they're eating from the lap or not. Exactly. So I just have to guess. Are you guys getting from your laps? Saying that. Sorry,

I'm blind. I can't tell. So what this made me realize is I think a lot of people, how you were mentioning, there's not many people on the online etiquette community. Yeah. I think most of them are children. Oh.

And that's a very, pretty precocious move out of a child to Google manners. Yeah. I think most of these are kids who are trying to learn about different types of manners. And so this is a good. For example, if the table's too high, which is something usually a kid has to struggle with. Yeah, I've never struggled with that.

Yeah, I can tell you that much. Me neither. Yeah, none of us have. Do I need to have a good shape to be a gentleman? Not many gentle people have six-backs, or do they? Being a gentleman is not about the shape. It's about the personality and sometimes the way you dress and definitely about how you carry yourself.

To be a gentleman, be kind, loving, thoughtful, and strong. It is all about the perfect manners. But there's no harm in having a six-pack and being a gentleman, if that's what you prefer. I don't agree. I don't agree. I think it's rude to have a flauntly body. It's rude to be in shape.

Built to be awed. Especially if you're around more unseemly people. Even if it's covered with the clothes of a gentleman? Yes. I think that because I think that especially if you're a gentleman, you wear well-fitting clothes. A tuxedo. And also if you have a bulge,

that is a very ungentlemanly thing to have popping out of your drawers Well it says be loving But not that You know a bulge is not loving A bulge is a disgusting bulge Bulge is one of the most loving

I don't think a bulge is loving It shows love to those around you What do you take? I don't believe so I disagree I really do I think a bulge is lovely No it's not You and me grew up in different worlds

It's polite I grew up learning that a bulge is polite I don't think a bulge is polite To have a bulge My dad used to spank me if I walked around with a bulge. Really? Yeah.

I used to get a bar of soap. I'd get ice cream. You would get praise for your bowl. I'd get ice cream. Not in my house. I would get the soap. I would get the soap and flavored ice cream. We would get,

I would get my mouth washed out all by it. I got soap flavored ice cream if I swore, but it sounded cool. I had to go to my room, one bulge. But there's a lot of questions about being a gentleman. This was a very common theme. Okay. At what age should the gentlemanly behavior begin?

As soon as one can walk and talk, as a gentleman can easily be crafted from the beginning or a gentleman can be made from the moment one makes a decision to follow this path. So they believe in the baby gentleman theory. Yeah. I don't so much ascribe to that theory. I don't either. No, I think it's a decision you make.

Yeah, I think that, and you have to be in the age where you can. Nobody's born a gentleman. And nobody even develops gentlemanly behavior at the age of two or three when they're walking and talking. They call it the terrible twos. Yeah, exactly. Nobody is acting, and if a kid is acting like a gentleman at two or three, stay away.

That's a rotten child. That is a rotten child stuck in a time loop. Here's another question. Is it ever appropriate to grovel on one's hands and knees to show deference to our superiors? I seriously doubt it. That gesture would be overly respectful and would most likely annoy the royal in question. If you read the first part, it says not to do a deep bow. If that isn't appropriate, then groveling on your hands and knees definitely wouldn't be.

I would hate to grovel. I'm glad that it's impolite to grovel because I wouldn't like doing it. Well, I've never tried it before, though. I'm not even so sure beyond getting down on your knees and asking for forgiveness or whatever. What does it, physically, what does a grovel entail? Probably licking. You have to lick? I don't know.

Licking, including in that? In groveling? I mean, no, it's definitely not, but you said physically. I'm just trying to think of what it would look like. I mean, groveling is definitely about what you say, I feel like. Yeah, that's true. So I'm trying to think of, like, if I'm imagining a mime doing a groveling, I would imagine them holding their shoe.

That would be a great. You'd have to be a real etiquette expert to notice the mime was doing groveling. Yeah. Groveling again. Oh, what's next? The invisible box. Here's another question. How can I be a gentleman in high school?

Have good hygiene and be polite. Open doors for female teachers and administrators and fellow students. Speak respectfully to your teachers. Some high school boys act rude to look cool. Avoid this as much as possible. I've done this before. acting rude to look cool. I've acted rude to look cool.

I've told my teachers they could s my F to buzz off. S your F? My F and B. Wow. And more they could F me, you know. You told your teachers to F you? I said, yeah, if you, hey, if you're so obsessed with me, F me, like stuff like that.

You could F me if you wanted. No. You could have me. I didn't mean it like that. That's sultry, which is weird. You said you could have me. Is sultriness rude if it's... If it's from a student to a teacher, it's rude.

It's very rude because it's inappropriate. It's not rude if it's at the grue. grocery store. No, to the cashier. Between a man and a woman. Yeah. To the cheese shopping in the same aisle. It's rude to do it

into a different aisle. I agree. Through the cans? It's rude to be solitary through the cans. Because it's obvious that you have different taste than the person who's in the next aisle

because you're interested in canned soup and they like toilet paper. And so you're trying to make a connection that's never actually going to happen. Interesting. So it's clear that it's purely physical.

Yeah. Interesting. Should I keep my glove on when shaking hands? That is entirely to you. I don't think you should because your glove could become dirty. Yeah, it's

also you don't want to, because it's like you're saying, I don't want to touch you. Yeah, that's true. Take your glove off. Take the glove off. Why are you wearing that glove in the first place? But if somebody asked you to take their glove, if you reach out to shake someone's hand, and they're like, dude, take your glove off, come

on, come on, bro, shake it with the glove off. That makes me think that they have nefarious intention. At that point, it's, it's rude of them and now all of a sudden you're allowed to defend yourself my whole family's been shitting on me for having a glove all these years they've been pooping on you they've been pooping on me

and now I am actually smart for wearing the glove this is actually an interesting point where yeah it's okay to have bad manners when it's time to defend yourself against against rudeness and at that point you can leave the glove on speaking of glove I saw a really heartwarming video while I was doing my searching of a there was, it was a, on a subreddit called Respect Porn. And it's one of these reddits where...

They just show respect? Where it's like videos of people showing respect. And there was one that somebody posted and it was like, in Japan, they have, they have caretakers who will go and masturbate disabled people to you because disabled people were reserved, or to you. They will masturbate disabled people because they can't do it themselves. To you. I didn't mean to say to you.

They will masturbate a disabled person. So you stand in the room? No, I'm no. The disabled person looks at you and then the helper masturbates them. A helper masturbates a disabled person who's behind a pain of glass. No, it's not. I didn't mean to say to you. They look at you and they go.

I made a mistake. Okay. And you guys are being rude by bringing it up. No. And they're not involved. You're not involved. But they're doing it to you is what you said. I didn't mean to say it.

I already told you. Well, maybe you're not in the room, but it's just pictures of you. Okay. They're holding up pictures of you. Oh, so it's pictures. They're, okay, that's what the two you means. Yeah, yeah, they're showing, it's like I'm masturbating to you. Oh, so, yes.

The disabled person is being masturbated by a helper to you. And they're holding an iPad up of you. They're showing, yeah, like your Facebook pictures. Okay. But the point is, they posted this on the respect-borne sub-brow. What if you found out that that was happening with your past? But you had no idea. You had no.

It's happening for years. Yeah, it's always been your photos. It's like some, like, privacy breach, like you uploaded your pictures. a photo bucket and you like relinquish the copyright to them you were the only photos that worked

it's like yeah this facility like okay yeah we can either we can either buy stock photos of beautiful women or we can use of this guy

this guy this guy is for this guy forgot to upload to Instagram the thing that says I do not consent to my pictures being used

shot on like a Kodak point and shoot like 03 like in the mirror yeah but then they uploaded this

video of somebody of this happening and this was a respectful thing. And this was, and it was like, because all disabled people deserve respect just like anyone else. And I thought it was pretty disrespectful to upload a video of them getting up of them jizzing on a nurse's hand. Yeah, that is very disrespectful. Yeah. Should I become a gentleman gradually or immediately? I am not a gentleman yet, so it might shock people if I suddenly behave like one. Being a gentleman is a choice and even if it means

having people will be shocked, it will show that you were a mature person and really have changed. But if you are uncomfortable with this, then do it in stages, perhaps doing 65% of the things stated here the first week, and then 75, 85, up to 100% each week. Working up to 100% gentlemanliness. Yeah, that's beautiful. I think that's strong. Because also if you go too fast, not only is it going to be hard for the people around you, it's going to be hard for you. Basically. Here's another question, a gentlemanly question. Can I stop a marriage using a gun? It would be a very effective way to stop the wedding and get yourself in jail. So no, you can't use a gun. Use your words instead, or accept that life doesn't always go the way you

wanted to. So they, that's an etiquette. I mean, that, listen, that is bad etiquette. I'm not an expert. That is rude. That's very rude. To stop a marriage, somebody's wedding with a firearm is extremely rude. Here's another good etiquette question for you guys. If I hug a girl, can I have sex with her? No, absolutely not. Hugging a girl does not mean you can have sex with her. You guys agree? Well, this is probably an older person coming from a different world. These days, definitely not, but when they were growing up, maybe. Another question. Can I cross my legs? Of course. Just try

to keep the lower portion of your legs as close together as possible. Here's a good question. Should I tip the bar owner? No, I don't think so. This is, I like this too. I like this. We should seeking out the owner. We should start this. Yeah, don't tip the bartender. See out

like, can I speak to the owner? Give him a cut. Sir. Or ma'am. Great job. Or ma'am? And if it's ma'am, a little more. Yeah. this is something that we need to start doing tipping the owners instead of just the lowly serfs. Yes, exactly.

And then here's my last question. I just thought this is funny because it's just clearly all kids. Is it polite to say bon appetit? Yes, bon appetit or enjoy your meal would indeed be a polite thing to say. You know, I don't hear a lot of bon appetites. No. It's so funny to imagine. It's like an eight-year-old kid type.

Yeah. Is it polite to say bonapete? Well, because they started saying and people started to be a server? Wouldn't it be you have to be a server? saying this? Well, they don't know what it means. Oh, right, right, right. They're worried it might be a cuss word. Yeah.

So they're asking. Bon Appetit is something that you learn as a kid and you start saying before every meal. And you go online and you say, is it polite? Did I mess? Did I mess? Did I, my parents? My parents upset. So now that we're such experts on etiquette and manners, now that we're such experts on

really, man. I want to see. You've got to bring rudeness back into this after you've done masterclass and politeness. do. Next slide. This is the rudeness simulator. You're about to see a series of rude phrases and I want each of you to respond in an eloquent manner. Hold on. That disarms

these. Okay. So, next. No problem. Fuck off, mate. Fuck off, mate has been created. Fuck off, mate. I'd rather not and I'd resent that you saying those words to me. But I wouldn't be opposed

to taking you out to a nice dinner and we can talk about what led you to this. Are you tallying? Yeah, I'm tallying who... Let's just take turns. Are you drawing on the floor? Oh, no, you're going to be a piece of paper. I thought you were going to tally in the corner of paper from the set.

What is this? I need a scenario. Am I talking to the computer? It seems like you don't want the tally. Hello, sir or madam. You, your language is shocking. But perhaps you're from another country. Honestly, this on screen seems like something Caleb would say, based on his behavior so forth.

I would not. Look at my tallies. Only have five tallies of cussing. You have, you have said things like this in the past. Probably in my past. Let's move on. Let's not start an argument. Let's not start an argument. Yeah, I'm not interested in arguing. Oh, this is a, this is an insult that I found. Have you noticed any missing band-aids? Because I think I found one. Um, no, I've not noticed any missing band-aids, but I'm sure an injured person would love to use the one that you found. My answer would be, yes, thank you so much. I've been looking for that.

Here's $200. The stated reward that I printed on my missing poster that I would put up around the neighborhood. You put up a wanted or a missing poster for a band-aid? Missing band-aid. It's important to me. It's my missing band-aid. You can just get another one. started out good and I think that towards the end there I'm going into absurdism it's not absurd I'm building a world yeah much like J.R. Tolkien

you should be more concerned on this world instead of building your own this is my world you have your head in the clouds let's just go to the next one let's go to the next one you guys never got a special bandaid I've gotten one that was a different hey how about you go cry about it you MySpace emo motherfucker

go cry about it on my space you emo motherfucker well I'm sorry you feel that you have to levy these accusations against me Unfortunately, I'm quite well adjusted. I have no emotional problems. Not that there's an issue with that because it seems that you seem to have some emotional problems, and I think that I love you.

Cry better on Myspace? Well, I don't know if you've checked up on MySpace recently, but it's actually turned into a music website. So maybe I will cry about it, and I'll release a whole album of me crying and make more money than you've ever seen. Well, I just thought of a good one. This doesn't have to be for the tally.

but I don't know you know what a good comeback for this would be when they say go cry about it on MySpace you say well it looks like you're already stepping up into MySpace so how about you back up because you're a gentleman you don't know what my space is yeah that's not eloquent though so what I said is that it wasn't for a tally so I don't see why you need to judge it

for an extra tally I like the hand shake I just thought that it was a fun comeback well that's a fun comeback yeah just to say yeah and why don't you back up you got a star for a fun A star? Wait, so you have a tally and star system? Well, I didn't think about the stars until he said a fun comeback.

I don't even want the star. Let's leave the stars out of it. Give me the star. Caleb can have the star. Yeah. You sure. Give them the star. This is like Mario Party where the stars are more than the coins. There's no coins. I'm going to win at the other's tallies, which is a kind of type of coin. Well, let's go to the next one. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. A fellow man of culture. I was going to say the same thing, yes. I mean, that's the only way to respond. That's how else what you respond?

That's a tie. That's a tally tie. A fellow Python fan. Cheers. Next, next one. Sluddy outfit for a slutty bitch. I would just close my eyes and hold my breath. Wait, is this something that someone is saying or this is a situation?

I don't remember. I think I just looked up. No, but I'm like, somebody saying it to you. Somebody's saying this to me. Someone walks up to me. Slutty outfit for a slutty B-I-T-C-H. Yeah, I close my eyes. I hold my breath. I count to 50. Okay.

I say, my, my, because I don't want to engage. See, but my, my, a little bit in this context seems like you're inviting engagement. Well, let's be real here. I mean, obviously the language is not polite. No way. But this could be a compliment. We don't know this person. I think that holding your breath and ignoring it is maybe the best.

That's pretty much the best. answer to any situation. Yeah, well, that's very polite. Yeah. Because you're not involving yourself and whatever's going on in front of you. That's what I usually do when there's a bricca brekah on the street.

Next one. How about your font is super gay? Thank you for my happiness compliment. This person says that their IQ is 143. This is from Ultimate Guitar Forms. Oh, I didn't even tell you. Someone did something so rude to me. I told him this.

I went and got a sandwich yesterday, turkey sandwich, and the guy finishes my sandwich and he holds it up and he says, yummy, yummy delicious. I'm like, oh, okay, that'll be really good. Thanks, man. And I buy it. And then I took it over here to the office, start eating it. It was full of fucking sand.

It was like sand all in it. Caleb got a flower for his flowery story. Yummy, yummy. Yeah, yummy, yummy delicious. To your font is super gay. Yeah, I don't, I'd say, I don't have a problem with that. And if you do, you should check yourself into an insane asylum. Okay, that's rude.

Okay, but it's, okay, but it's, okay, so you think it's polite to just not espouse your beliefs when they're important? Yes. I think that, I mean, again, holding your breath and closing your eyes doesn't leave a lot of room for expression. So I'm thinking that, I'd like to. like to actually change my answer and I'm doing that again. You're doing that again? I'm holding my breath and closing my eyes and I'm waiting until they go away. You both got a tally for that one and now you're changing it so I'm not so

I'm not so listen I already have the star so I already won and you got a flower for a flowery tail. Yes, I actually have three kinds. It's more about how many kinds of things you have so I'm not really worried about the tallies to be honest with you. All right. Also the tally. Why? Next slide.

You fight like a dairy farmer. Ah, some of the finest, uh, some of the finest. I try one thing and then I take a deep breath. You must have me mistaken for someone else. Oh,

that's polite. That's actually very polite because you're not even trying to counter their insult. Yeah. You're just being like, oh, I'm so sorry. It must be some kind of misunderstanding here. I'm not a dairy farmer. I have the utmost respect for them, but no. Yeah, and I didn't do any sort of fighting.

And if I did fight, it would have been with my wrists like this. Like a dinosaur. Now, that's a real men fight. If you pull up on somebody, you try to rob them, they bring out this fist run. Next slide. Because they're trained. Fuck you, cancer. On this rare occasion, I think that the curse is warranted.

They're calling you a child. cancer. Yeah, I would probably, I would be shaken to my core because I am a cancer. Yes. I would probably, I would probably, you know, I, this maybe isn't polite, but I have to be honest, this would scare me. And I probably would leave. Where'd you go?

I'd probably go home. Okay. I'm going to half boom for his honesty. I understand your fury. I'm very scared. I'm going home. Yeah. That's what you would say.

I would say, actually, like it's a tell. if that's what you're saying. I understand your fury. I'm very scared. I'm very scared. I'm going home. So that gets a tally. And then,

you know, what I would probably do is I would probably try to change my identity. And what would you know? I would try and change my birthday to Halloween. That would. Because nobody going to F would you do. No.

Next slide. You're a jelly kid. You suck. You have no friends. And you have a small penis. 10 IQ. It's N-I-Q on Ultimate Guitar. I would say something like,

ah, but are you aware that Jelly Kid is actually positive? Good to be a Jelly Kid. I don't know where you were raised, but I actually, in fact, I could go for a spot of Jelly Kid. I suck, yes, I suck bubbles out of the air. I have no friends. Well, I think that you and me could become fast friends

if we gave it the old college try, and I have a small penis. Well, I don't know if you know much about art history, but it's actually more polite to have a small penis in terms of statues. That's a tally. That's deli. Next slide.

What the fuck? Wipe your mouth. There's still a little bit of bullshit around your lips. I'd say, oh, yeah, oh, thank you for letting me know. Thank you for, bring out the handkerchief. Oh, dear. Yeah, I would say, oh, dear. And I'd wipe off all the bullshit, as they call it.

I would call it. I guess that's a donkey crud. That's a tab. And take that off my lips. Yeah. Because I was being rude. They, they did, you know what, it's the same thing as, what's the polite, I watch a video on this. What is the polite way to indicate that somebody has spinach in their teeth?

Depends how well you know them. This person, this etiquette expert I watched, said that the polite way to do it is go and tap their teeth. So this person is doing something not so. I think also, I think that it's more, I think it's, it's, it's a snowman. I think it's less polite to do it like this. Yeah. I think it's more applied to do it like this. Oh, I see.

I think the wider you open your mouth, the reader it is. Kind of the more mocking it is. Yeah. Okay. Next slide. You have spinach in your teeth. Simba too cold. Your mama should have swallowed you and your dad could have at least wore a rubber,

but they did it. Now the whole world got to suffer. If the world is suffering because of me, I deeply apologize and I will end my life for the benefit of all. And then you hold your breath. That was That gave you a heart for that You get a heart charm

So so far you have half If the world is suffering It's polite Yes to end your life If you have If you feel like you're a net negative On the world The polite thing

Yeah Is to destroy Destroy yourself Yeah Because there's no You're only causing everybody harm Yeah And pain

Yeah So that's polite It's very polite I get how many There are in this I think I might have Expected a speed around At some point

There's a speed rate. It's like 15 left. Let's go. Okay, speed round. You want a speed round? Okay. And there's no more points. Okay.

This beer tastes like T-Rex-Wiz, and you call those your dinosaur farts aroma? Beer, I think you might be confused. I'm drinking wine. And I'm drinking mead. An older beer. Next slide. Are you a bastard?

I'm not, but I have the utmost respect for bastards. I certainly hope not, as that would shake many of my core beliefs about my family. Next slide. You are a bitch is a slut. Hmm.

Interesting. I'd like to pay for you to go to a different school. You're a ruddle. That's about what I would say too, I think. Next slide. If stupidity were radioactive,

the world would have collapsed due to your insufferable presence. This one is again, I'm so sorry I will end. I will end my life expeditiously. Yeah. Fourth. Next one.

Uh, you're a cum dumpster douche canoe cockmaster. Pardon you. And you are quite the little poet. Oh, I know what I would say. I would say guzuntite. Oh, that's good. That's also good. Next slide.

Oie, baldy. I would turn and look over my shoulder. See if Caleb was behind me. I don't know if that's polite, though. I don't know if that's pollute. Pollute. I would also be very confused. Yeah, next slide.

And then realize they're, and then, you know, and it's a picture of Batman with the finger up? I would say, I would be so polite to Batman. Yeah. I would be so sicking on the finger. Yeah. I'd say, very well, Batman, if that's what you think, then it must be true.

And I will end my life in front of you. Even though you, even though it's against your rules to kill me, I will do the job for you. Oh, take the night off, Batman. I will kill myself. We synthesize the perfect response to anything. You're a bitch if you don't like modern music. Well, I suppose I am a female dog because I prefer the works of older artists like Caravan Palace. Yes. Or Bruce Will. Or no.

That's an actor. He's a singer too. He's an album. Bruce Spring. Bruno. Next slide. For the music of Bruce Willis. Check your crates, you slutty bitch. Ah, yes, let me go to my galleon right now and inspect every crate I have. Thank you very much.

Yes, I am great. Oh. I would pretend I misheard. That's smart. To not engage. I guess it's, yeah. Next slide. That's get a face like a bulldog

looking pee off a nettle. Ah. A fellow Frenchman. That's what I would say. A fellow Frenchman. Wait, but you would say it. A fellow Frenchman. A fellow Frenchman.

I would say go back to your dirty island and get off of... That's not polite. Well, but you're supposed to... Politeness is between humans. Exactly. When it's an Irish animal, you don't have to be. There's a Wigan. What the hell's that?

Like Wigan kebab, like Pyebarm, Pee-Wet. In what world? That stuff's all from one viral video. Yeah. I don't know what this is, man. I don't know what it is either. But I know that all those words he said are from the same video. Yeah.

It's a part, it's like South one, or South UK? It's somewhere in the UK. Okay, so it's a, it's a pauper. Unless it's not the UK. It's got to be the UK. I'd have them locked up by Bobby's. Yeah. I wouldn't say anything to this person.

I wouldn't waste my words. Oh, it's a town in Greater Manchester. I would not waste my breath because I have to hold that later when someone says something mean to me. So I would just walk right past this person, tap a Bobby on the. the shoulder. Don't care if that's a little bit rude because it's going to have a good payoff. Send them off and they get free, you know, turn this person in a meat forever for the queen. Yeah, for goodbye. Arms. Next slide.

Fucky. You're fired. What kind of a person would make their Twitter name online predator? Yeah. That is interesting. Yeah, that is, you'd have to be a real, I mean, you'd have to be kind of silently, yeah, you'd have to be silently communicating. I'm an actual danger to people that I interact with. And I should be excommunicated from whatever community I'd be wrong. And so I think you'd be doing this person a favor. This is impolite. This is impolite behavior. This is very rude. And speaking of, and there's even more impolite stuff like this, like this next thing. That is not, how would you respond to this? That is not in any

way, shape, or form or fashion a vote. I think I did respond to this. Oh, you did? I think. I don't remember what I said. I was responding to a lot of people who were kind of being rude about my polite thoughts about the guy who tried to shoot Trump but it's, I think that it is rude to when you tweet something that's true to say

that it's false. Yeah, that's true. There weren't a lot of things of you saying fuck you. I was trying to find. Next slide. How did you respond to this? Oh, fuck off, you dork. I don't think I responded to that. I do remember the thing is, I was being polite here. You were being polite, but that's the whole point. This is the, this is, how

would you respond to this? I think that silence speaks measures. So when I... So you would hold your breath at this So I'd probably just hold my breath and look at my computer. Send a selfie of you holding your breath. Next time somebody says anything mean to you in any sort of comment, just

reply with a video of you saying their username and then going and see how long you last. I think this is the last one. Okay. I think this is the... Oh, never mind. I thought...

Maybe I couldn't decide which was better. What the actual ever-loving fuck are you talking about? No words exist in any language that can describe just how unfathomably fundamentally wrong this statement is. I would say it seems like there's the beginning of a great debate here. Yeah. Let's involve our stuff. I found I did respond.

I actually responded to this. Okay, well, let's hear you say polite. They said, that is not in any way. So I said the guy was only 20 years old, hadn't even got the chance to vote to a presidential election yet. What makes me sad is this was probably him trying to vote for the first time

in his own twisted way. Talking about Hamas, Matthew Crooks. And this person says, that is not in any way, shape, form, or fashion of vote. I respond, I say, I know. How misguided did he have to be to believe something like that? Good faith response.

Yeah. And then, and then someone else responded to me and said, what are you even talking about? How can you be so misguided? when it's a situation you created in your head. And I responded to that and said, Buddy, check the news.

An assassination attempt was made on former President Donald Trump yesterday, as real as real could be. A little bit rude on that last part. They told me that I created the situation in my head. Again, everyone saw it. Again, the buddy, though, is I would have said... I think you should have said gentlemen. Sir?

I should have said, gentlemen. I'm sorry I have to break this to you. Excuse me, sir. I should have said, sir. I'm going to respond right now and say, Sir, I'm sorry. I'm going to say, I'm sorry. I was rude. I meant to say, sir.

There we go. I think that's a... And that is the ultimate politeness is... I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This was rude. What I meant to say... What I should have said. Yes. What I should have said was...

Colon, sir, there was a real attempt on Donald Trump's life. There we go. Now that's polite. And that's righting a wrong. Yes. Thank you for that. And that is today's episode. Thank you. Thank you.

And thank you. And thank you. And thank you. And that camera went out. That's unfortunate. That's okay. That was a scary camera anyway. Thank you.

And thank you. And thank you. And thank you. And thank you. No problem. We don't thank each other enough. Thank you. No problem.

Thank you. And thank you for every. And thank you at home. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Yeah, you are fired. You didn't do anything. You are fired. That was a crazy tweet. to be posting it's not right yeah and the name was bad too bye thank you we're not coming out as trans

we're not coming out as gay bisexual lesbian right two spirit asexual any of those or we're not coming out as being pro police or cops ourselves no need to come out yeah because we're not

that's not we're not coming out with that that's what the fourth emoji is for right which is no Or maybe a red X too. So that and then, but that would be a double negative. So we got to choose which one. A third. No, it would be added. So maybe three flags, three knows.

Maybe I'm coming out, trans flag, circle with a line. What is that called? I actually don't know. I guess I would call it a cancel. The cancel sand. But it's definitely not that because it probably comes, it probably was around before computers. Yeah.

What the fuck is that called? Look that up. Look up the circle with the line through it. What is it called? So it's, okay. So it's, okay. So it would be. I guess we would do Red X.

So it's... This is... You're giving me a marketing class right now. The... Yeah, the one week, the one or two weeks. It's called the no symbol or the prohibition symbol. Okay. We'll do the prohibition symbol.

Okay. So it's... Well, I guess it's... We'll do the Red X, not the Prohibition symbol. Because we're not prohibiting those ideas. Well, I guess... I think that we should maybe... I guess...

I mean, we're... I mean, we're hipster liberals. Yeah. We should prohibit. Blue Lives Matter Blue Lives Matter rhetoric You know what I'm gonna go ahead and prohibit it

Okay so we do I'm ready to prohibit it We do Trans Pride flag X A check mark to show That it's allowed Show that it's allowed

But then an X And even encouraged But then an X Right to show that it's not We're not coming out Right And then the gay flag Same thing

Yep Then the Blue As Matter flag Two X's Two X no one X One prohibition One prohibition Right prohibited We're not

But we're not coming out And then microphone emoji, three guys. Three guys. We're coming out. We're coming out. Next tweet. With a new episode.

With a new episode. And then a video, the whole episode for free. We, yeah, Twitter. We give away the episode. You give away this episode.