Podcast About List - Ep. 313 - FATE/OFF

Episode Date: October 30, 2024

The sequel to the acclaimed RACE/OFF episode, we are now comparing and contrasting not one life... but THREE. Welcome to the FATE/OFF Subscribe to us on YouTube youtube.com/@PodcastAboutList Buy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

Thank you. You know, I'm trying to We're going to be. We're going to be. I'll talk about this. Wow. Hold on, man.

You can't record until I have my costume ready. What's not ready about it? Oh, I popped out the lens. You dumb. You dumb cluck. Dumb what? I'm not going to say it. I'm going to be nice.

Here. I'm going to be nice. nice, I'm going to fix the lens for you. No, I know how to do this kind of thing. Okay. Are these, these are prop glasses? These aren't real glasses? It doesn't seem like they're real.

Yeah, they look pretty, because the lens came out so fast. Listen, guys, I was forced to, I didn't know that we were dressing up. Well, you did. No, I didn't. You guys kept saying that, and you didn't like my idea. Yeah, we kept saying it. We said you can't be dressed up as a traveler. A Romani.

There was a word you kept using. Traveler. That's what I kept saying. Traveler is very specific. Oh, we hate. travelers we hate how we don't want to see a traveler i there it's a very specific type of person a traveler and they're not you're literally dressed up as a jewish guy i'm dressed up as the stooges that's the larry i'm messing up a lot this halloween i'm doing that a lot

what just like not understanding people's costumes you look into the camera for people to see the incredible job you did on your costume this is walter white eating skeddy water white no just Walter White. He's not eating anything. He looked like you ate skinny. Clear the mic. Wait, do the Walter face. I'll lick your lips.

Why do you have me like my lips? Walter White, who play too much Xbox and the red ring around his mouth because he licked his face raw while he was playing gun game. But yeah, so it's Halloween. Yeah. I'm dressed up as Walter White. Curly. No.

Larry. You said that. Well, why is that? I never got that with this dude. It's so. I can give. you basically the entire backstory of it. So basically, here it is.

Those stooges were originally Shemp, Moe, and Larry. Shemp and Moe were brothers, the Howard brothers. Originally, Horwitz. They're not all brothers? No, Larry Fine is not one of their brothers. So then Shemp didn't want to be part of it when they started to make shorts for Columbia. They said, who are we going to get? And Mo says, oh, what about our baby brother, Jerry, Jerome Horwitz, Jerry Howard. And they take a look at Jerry Howard. This is curly. He has long-ass hair.

handlebar ass mustache. And they say, this guy doesn't look very funny. Mm-hmm. He says, one second. He leaves the room. He comes back, shaved,

shaved. He says, boy, I look girly. They misheard him. Whoa. They thought he said, Curly, and the rest is on the TV screen. It kind of would have been

more funny if they named him Gurley. Yeah, that would be a good name. That'd be a way better name than Curly. Gurley Howellie. Because he was making a joke. He was saying, well, I'm having the opposite of a girl. I have very short air.

I think that Curley is, better because it makes it look like he has hair, but he doesn't. That's his whole thing is no hair. And Curley actually does dress up as a girl very, very often. Well, because he's the most beautiful. Yeah, they actually all do. Huh? The critic. That's the outfit you have on. This is not a stud. You're dressed like the critic. Pull up the picture of the critic. You're Sean Penn in Carlito's way. Doesn't they wear glasses in that? Oh yeah, I guess you're not. You're not wearing glasses. Yeah. You're the critic. That doesn't look like me at all. Okay, critic. You're

reviewing my idea? Yeah, I'm reviewing your idea. Well, how many stars you get? Look, because that's Sir Ian McKellen, okay? I don't look like that right now. But, guys, I didn't even say what I'm dressed as yet. I look like that guy on the left, maybe. I didn't even say what I'm dressed as you know. Oh, you're just as the modern Democratic Party. Wow.

You know what I would say? I would say, it's quieter for mine yeah it was much loud on the before so I don't get as loud of a nobody should get as loud as I just got it was an error it was an error oh okay that's all right it's okay to have an error

so tell me about well you say you're the modern democratic party but I'm seeing green party libertarian party Republican and Democrat on your shirt you're looking you're seeing an all party party animal wow okay we're ready for Halloween I think I think we're ready for Halloween

Halloween is coming up. We have some amazing stuff planned today. Yeah. I've been like nervous about this episode because I'm so excited. Yeah. I can't wait to see what it is. But first, as always, what TV shows are we watching? I just got to season five of girls.

Uh-huh. Yep. I just got there. Show she's going to Tokyo. Show she's going to Tokyo. And get this man, she's gets, she fits in better. And she's a, let's be real. Don't, I'm not on season five yet.

Well, but let's just be real. In America, she's, freak. So in Tokyo, how do you think she's treated? Probably, I don't know yet. I've been watching a lot of... I was saying this before. I've been watching a lot of YouTube shorts of the show Gotham, which I was not

really aware of anything about, never had any interest. All my app suddenly started recommending me everything about the Joker Brothers. And they have characters called the Joker Brothers. The Joker brothers are both played by Mr. Jedi Fallen Order. And he goes like this. Calcestis. I am so devilish that

I want to blow up the city. Stick to being. a video game. You're not a good actor. You're not a good in a video game either, but at least I don't have to play. I think he's good in backflips and flying. This is him in the video game. I think I have to backflip. He's walking around. He's good in

maybe I can backflip this. Shameless. He's good on that. You would have seen shameless. I've seen parts of it. Fucking 50 season dog shit show. My mom really liked it. Your mom is in the show. You are from Shameless. How? You are the kid in Shameless. Which one? The really smart one. You're welcome.

so Calcastas. No, no, that's his whole arc. The cutie pie. That's Jeremy Allen White, right? Is it him? Yeah, I think so. Lip. Bro's name Lip.

That's how poor they are. They ran out of names because there are so many kids. They couldn't afford a bit of names. They went with LIP. They said, hey, what do we, what does he have? A lip? I just watched. Let's name him Lip.

I just watched an episode of House where you meet his parents and his Dad is R. Ernie Lee. Arlie Ermi. Yeah. And he just is so crazy. Arly Irmy. I would imagine he killed. He's seen horrors. Yeah. There's a lot of, there's a lot going on with Husse's parents. Yeah. No, no, actually not that much. Imagine. Well, there actually is, I mean, speaking as a season eight watcher. It's actually, season eight is poop. Yeah. Season eight is poop. I know. It's all pooh. No, we love. He loves house. I love Breaking Bad. I've been back on breaking bad and uh yeah shorts shorts i'm not doing a rewatch but i'll watch some every show seems so like every show in shorts seems so bad to me like and it's such a funny

like i'll watch a breaking bad episode i'll be like this is the most awesomeest show and then you watch it and then you watch it and he's like yeah like i'm gonna i'm gonna get you yeah you're what is it's out of the context of the show you know what it literally is it's literally because it's small yes it's because you're looking at it and the filter that the hdr that they put on yeah they always have that thing that it's like a leaf flying through. Yeah. Or something like that. It's like a filter that puts a leaf on it so that they can avoid the copyright.

I saw a clip of Breaking Bad earlier today where it was like this really dramatic scene that I remember thinking was so badass in the show to your point where Walter White, but they put this music under it that was like way too happy it was like, da-na-na-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-na.

And as Walter White looking at Jason and he's like, do you know how rare it is to be really good at something? And it just seemed like they were doing it for like a motivational thing. And I was like, this show sucks. This is the worst show ever. So I dressed up like him. I've seen, there's this movie with Michael Keaton where he's like a mastermind criminal.

And it's one of, no, it's one of these movies that like, it's one of these like shorts on YouTube where it's like, the criminal was going was. Oh, yeah. Oh, I love the explainer ones. They just have like the AI synopsis of the scenes. And it's like, the criminal was putting. stuff inside of his shirt so that he could escape later. And I've seen this movie.

The clownfish's wife died trying to protect the baby clownfish. It is the best way to watch a movie. It does make me want to see that Michael Keaton movie, though. I've never seen that one. Every time I see one of those, I go and I add that movie to my watch list. I just go, what I do is because it'll be like part one of 50 on like the short thing. And then I'm going, I'll watch the full wrap up of the movie. It has the whole thing.

It's bad for 15 minutes. This one, he swallows a glass tube. No. Yeah. He swallows it? Does it help him to do that or he's hungry? I think he swallows it because it has something in it. I don't remember.

Oh, a sandwich. It's part of his escape. It had a sandwich. Like with a sandwich. Yeah. His stomach would digest the glass and that's a delayed release sandwich. That's sandwich XR. Why don't you have that?

Sandwich XR is fire. Damn. XR sandwich. No, it would have to be like, if it's an XR, it's got to be a full turkey dinner. Dude, it could be anything XR will be so fire. No, sandwiches, sandwiches, I'm not saying it is. I'm saying you develop, we're inventing something. Yeah, I know, I know, but I'm saying for the parameters of this thing.

So an IR sandwiches are a normal sandwich. No, it's a pill that you take. No, no, no, we're not even the XR is a pill. No, it's food that you eat that doesn't affect you until later. It affects you a little bit. It's XR, bro. So it's like, you know. So, okay, I'm getting it now.

So, yeah, you eat something. Like, because I'll be like, oh, I got to go do something. Yeah. And I know I'm going to be, okay, here's a good example. I'm going to go see a movie. I'm going to get hungry for a meal in the middle of the movie. I don't want to eat popcorn for my lunch, but I'm not going to bring food in.

No. That's against the rules. Absolutely. But I don't have time to eat before I go, and I'm also not hungry. Let's pop an XR. Let's pop an XR sandwich. A little meatloaf XR.

Right in the middle, Venom is fighting the alien beast from planet Clintaris. And you would normally say, wow, I'm hungry. Too hungry to pay attention. This black sludge is making me hungry. Oh, I wish I could eat that black sludge right now. Suddenly, boom. Yeah.

I have to shit. So bad. And I missed the rest of the movie. Thank you, X-R. Yeah. Why has he never... I was thinking that this is a pill that has a whole meal in it.

No. No, man. You are living in some Willy Wonka shit, motherfucker. Your breast is Lily Wonka. Yeah, you were. Timit de Chalameh, look-a-contest right here. I want it, dude. I know you wanted to go.

You don't even have to tell me. No, no, no, because I was... Yeah, your wife and I were talking about it, and I was like, it'd be so funny if I showed up and just was like, what do you mean? What do you mean? I think that the thing about that is I think that there's probably 50 other guys there who have the exact same ideas. Yeah, that's a good point.

The cops broke it up. Yeah, there's police brutality there. The policemen stopped it and they made it move somewhere else. And the real Timmy showed up because he can't resist a chance to get close to some women. He doesn't. What's the alleged rumor is that he gave out chlamydia? I love alleged rumors. Yeah.

Yeah. Dumois. Dumwa style. What is the problem with having... He's a victim if he has clear idea. Yeah, I think that the problem with it of him giving it out is that he gave it... I think the more kind of part of the rumor

is that it was to a bunch of NYU college girls. Didn't he go to NYU? Yeah, I think he did. I think... But I thought that this rumor was something that happened recently after he had no longer been in college. Oh, no, I've heard this forever. Yeah, I'm just imagining...

Dumois is like a fanboat guy that just gives out celebrity, like, rumors. Like, it's the guy on the party. Now I heard, I heard Jeremy Alley White been cheating on a girl. Is that true? Really? Is he still with Rosalia? No, no, no. This is all Doulau.

Jeremy is all Duwai. So it's not true. This is the fan book. So it's not true. So this character is completely irrelevant. Because he's not giving out real information. No, he's not. Jeremy Allen White was with Rosalia?

Yeah, you didn't know that? You're kidding. But now he's with his co-star. They broke up? Yeah. Did they break up because he cheated on her or because he looked like a fetus? I think he actually fell in love with the girl

he's supposed to be in a relationship with the bear. Yeah. Oh, actually, I did see that as well, the one with the big eyes. Dude, Claire's the worst. She's a worst character on the show. She's the worst character on the show. She's the worst character on the show because she's not a chef. Just cook something, bitch.

Cook something. One fucking. time. I fucking hear you. Just do a scene of her making Easy Mac. It's okay. If she's not that good

as chef, just show. Just film it the same way a little bit, you know? I heard they fell in love on a step. On a step?

On a step. What are you saying? I heard they better live on a dip. Have you guys, on a step? With debt? Nah.

He felt, I don't like this. I don't even understand. I don't understand. You're in your own world, it's a fan boat, a riverboat, fan boat guy.

A fan of riverboats. A fan of riverboats. A fan of riverboats. fan of riverboats. Okay. He doesn't have one. Yeah. His name is Dumois.

So he's sitting on his Jeep doing this? Yeah. He lives in Maine, but he's Cajun, and he is saying just, he's just telling people celebrity rumors. Okay. And so, well, I wouldn't say, do it, but you already did it. His name is Dumois. Hmm.

Who is Dumas. Dumas the celebrity gossip thing. I don't know what that is. You ever see that? It was like the, God, what did they? They released something. There was like some big celebrity gossip thing. All I know is the guy, that one guy from YouTube back in the day.

Is Dumois you looking at TMZ and trying to pronounce it? What the buck? Not what the buck, but What the buck was fire. Yeah. I fuck with what the buck. What's it? I said, is doom why you looking at the letters TMZ and trying to pronounce it? No, no.

This is like it's a, it's a blind item. It's a blind item Instagram thing that's like really popular with women. and you and me well you like celebrity gossip though I kind of fuck with celebrity gossip I like celebrity gossip a lot what's the best celebrity gossip you've heard um

I don't know let's pull up let's pull up doomie and see what they have on no man we can't pull up doom wah why because I don't know what it is D-U-X M-O-I so it does wait it is the same as TMZ and that you're just making up how to pronounce it no yeah

there it is curators of pop culture Oh, de moi. Yeah. Curators of pop culture. Like to me. Have you or any of us been posted on this before?

No. No rumors about me. Well, it's all in the stories that they put the blind items. Oh, okay. Well, that's okay, because we have to get into that. They have better stories.

We have an interesting story happening today. People may remember a couple years ago that we had done an episode called Race Off. And I lost. And I won. Where we found out our our DNA, we entered our DNA into the racialator

and scanned and figured out what was inside of our DNA. Well, today, for Halloween, we have a sequel to race up and this is called Fate Off, where we will be submitting our souls to this ball. Into the fatalizer. The fatalizer. The fatalizer. Guys, we reached out to a psychic.

Yep. Do we have her info? Can we pull it up? I forget her name. we reached out to a psychic and we asked her to analyze our souls and give us each three rundowns of three past lives that we have each lived throughout history.

We didn't look at them. We have no idea. We sent them to Julio. Julio has put them into a presentation for us and he is also, if you remember, for the race off, we did Patrick's race ranking. Today we are going to...

I'm just going to be a guy who ate poop. I'm taking these glasses are killing me. In order to... In order to score to figure out... So we can go and abort a body. He can eat the poop, but not get it on his clothes. This is me coming out of the floor. Woo!

All right. And my costume's ready. We have to figure out who won today. So we're going to go through some qualities that are apparently in these past lives. And we're going to rate if they're good or bad. So we have a way to score each of our lives. And there's some red herrings in there. That's what I've heard.

Yes. So we'll start off with, we have a few different categories of Julio's prepared for us and scrambled up. So we're going to just go through and say what we think of these are. good or bad. All right. And first off, country, where these past lives we're living. All right. List them off.

America. Okay, we need to vote on all of them, right? America. Or if we just can... I'm going to call it... For a past life, I say bad. Past life, we're going to go bad. Okay.

Yeah, because think about the slaves. Yep. All right. We don't have time. So, you just... Cambodia. Well, slaves probably, too, in the past. So, I mean, probably everywhere, slaves.

Yeah, that's a good point. At some points, like... So, maybe... I think Cambodia is good. Yeah? Yeah, we'll go... It's cool. It's cool.

Yeah, but also, I mean... It's two against one, bro. Okay. I was going to say... This is not the interesting part of the episode. Yeah, this is just to get to it. Mexico. Bad.

Bad. I say good. Okay, well, it's voted bad. Ottoman Empire. Good. Bad. Very good. I'll say good, I think.

Come on. Ottoman Empire's cool. It is cool because of the... It's an empire. Egypt. Good. Good. Yeah.

How could that. be bad. England bad. England, bad. Bad. Bad for England. Good. Good. Okay. This is almost like the reverse of Patrick's race. France. Bad. Bad. Bad for France. And Brazil. Good. Bad. Bad. Okay. So that's countries. Here's our country scoring. I was going to say Cambodia might be bad because it's like, well, what if like,

we literally were there when his, when Kissinger did all that. It could be. but it was voted good It was voted good overall Time period Good Middle Ages Middle Ages bad I'm going good for middle ages

Well let's put time Let's put good next the time Yeah Good next time Extra point if you have a time Okay good Middle Ages good or bad pat Bad bad

Okay 1200s AD Bad 1200s good Well I'm just thinking about my asthma Good So let's just say 1900s 1900s good Bad

Bad Flappers 1840s good I want to fuck a flapper 1400s bad bad no good good

okay good 2,500 BC that's good that's good good man 1500s good bad bad

yeah well it might not even vote what's in the 1500s 1 AD good year one Jesus was one year old I'm going good

1300s bad I would say good bad what's in the 1300 I have no idea. I'm going by feel.

You just keep looking up thinking, man. Okay, that's time period. Which one's the Renaissance? All right. We got three more categories. These ones are a little more interesting, I think. Family. Family category.

Illiterate mother. Bad. Good. Good. Okay. You know what? You pressured me. Good.

It's good to have an illiterate mom. Because you're just pressuring the both of us. I'm pressuring you. You're putting a lot of pressure on us. Uh-huh. Controlling father. Good. Controlling mother.

Bad. It's bad. Stop. What, man? Because now if I win, it's basically going to be as if I was cheating. You're not cheating. Okay, well, you're convincing me. Swear that in.

I swear. Father named Kumai. Good. Really good. Really good with a bonus point. What? It could be bad because what if you're Kumai Jr. And all the kids call you Kamai.

Do I get one veto? Noble born. You can decide this one. Good. Okay. Yes. I got my own one. Father is a teacher.

Bad. Bad. Father is a teacher? That's a girl's non-traditional family. Yep. Son of Marquess. Good. Marquez Brownley.

You get every iPhone? Father named Francis. Not that Marquez, man. Okay, so he knows what Marquess is. Father named Francis. Bad, bad. That's a girl name. It's probably the same one as a teacher.

Wait, that's Malcolm's brother. Absent father. Absent father, good. That's how you become good at something. Yeah. Orphan, I'm going good. Good. Bad.

What world do you live in? For the lower. Occupations, okay? All right. University and, Instructor. Good. Bad.

Bad. Yeah. Woke. Even throughout history, that was probably woke. Always woke. Teacher. Bad.

That's also bad. Same thing. Squire. Bad. Bad. Bad. He suck. Priest.

Terrible. Bad. Put terrible. Do a negative. One extra negative point. Yeah. Burekrat. Bad.

What? Burekrat. That's so cool. Local town magistrate. Wait, we hate jobs. We hate every job. Local town magistrate. That's good.

We'll go good. Is that, wait, is a magistrate? I don't know what it is, but it sounds good. Do they have stuff to do with magic? No. Distinguished leader. Good. That's good.

That is good. Distinguished? Yeah. Come on. Peasant. Bad. Good. Bad to be a peasant.

Good. Well, you belong there. A bit of a spy. Good. Good. Good. It's so good. Good plus two.

Good plus two. All right. Then the last category we have interests slash life. Now, these are the exciting, interesting ones. Okay. These will all be plus two. Yeah. Plus or minus two.

For sure. Had average build for a boy of 12. That's good. That's really good. B plus two. Beheaded. Good. I'm going to say, you got to go one way.

Bad. He good, good, bad. Okay. Imprisoned, but not tortured. Good. Good. Good. Had anxiety and depression.

Bad. B minus. too. Earned many enemies. Good. Good. Good. Your haters are motivators. Yeah. True as fuck. Had great psychic ability. Good. Good. Amazing. It's not really a. We have one A.

Married childhood sweetheart at age 17. Bad. Bad. Why are you marrying a 17 year old? Died fighting in war. Good. Noble. And then the last one, loved tacos and burritos. Bad. Good. Good. Good. Okay, good. That's good. that's good i like i like all right my life is amazing those are our scoring sheets is official so now we have a we know how to score our lot each of our lives okay and then i have these

score cards we can use to keep track of who's going to win i wish we put these on the computer so that we could see them and then put them in but we'd have to switch in back and forth yeah that's a good point which is why i did it this way but it is i wish we had a i fit them all in one paper i wish our system was more robust but honestly people don't watch this show for robustness. True. That's true. People don't say,

I want to watch something robust. People like our rough around the edges. If they want to watch something robust, they watch episode one or Chapel Trapp house, they go to us

for something with lots of pieces of papers. Yes, we do like paper. Yeah, we love paper. Paper is good. Paper, wait. Can we just put good next to paper somewhere?

There's a lot of good on this paper. I don't think paper is going to be mentioned. But if it is, yeah, sure. If papers mention, that's good. You get a hundred points of papers mentioned in your story.

It's a, It's an instant win. How about that? Okay, I'm so excited. All right. Let's do this. Let's hear some of these past lives. We can take turns reading them, I guess.

All right. All right. Here we go. Past lives. Past life number one. Oh, my God, I'm getting chills. Wow. All right.

Pat, I'll have to go first. Past life number one. Origins. Cambodia, 1200s AD. Wow. Your father, Kumai, sounds like, was a great teacher and a Buddhist monk. Kumai taught healing, nature,

what drives people, math, and design many useful buildings. I can already tell this is you. Some at Anchorwat. Round roofs were fascinating to him. You were one of his students, Gerani, good at math, but were more interested in the stars

and charting the night sky. You considered becoming a monk, but never did. Wait, your dad is your teacher? Yeah. That's awesome. I didn't even think about that. There's more about Kumai.

Not married, spent his life as a scholar, and in prayer, from a family of scholars and he had eight siblings eight uncles and aunts. He was one of your favorite teachers and were inspired by him. When you were studying under him, you were reluctant to leave. You often wrote

to him to keep in touch and care for his well-being and he in turn would send you copies of his work for you to use. Live to 63 and you were very sad when he passed. Oh, that's kind of sad. Life after Kumai. You became a local magistrate and oversaw commerce and trade in the area. You were well

off and married Kaliania. You had three children. You were honor to have Kumai's teachings with you and pass them along to your two sons and daughter. You died at 57 to a kidney infection. Likely, oh, you died at 57 to a kidney infection. Is that what killed Kumai? Yeah. No, that's what killed you. But it says genetic issue. Well, yeah, what did it say he died from any specific thing? I think it just said he passed away. It's not kidney issue. It wasn't on a no kidney issue. There was no kidney infection involved in our

rankings. Is that, okay. Gerrani. Who is Gerrani? Who is the name of, of, the person? Yeah, who do we think is Durrani? I think, honestly, I'm going to say, we'll get, you get five points if you guessed correct. I think it's Cameron. I think it's Cameron. Yeah.

Okay, it's, I'll guess myself as well. Okay, who is it? I'll go with the pack. Oh. Caleb, you're Durrani. Wait, okay, all right. So let's think about this. We have, Cambodia is good.

Yeah, Cambodia. Cambodia, we get a good tally. Okay. Your father named Kumai is good, right? Magistrate, good. No, father named Kumai is bad. No, local town magistrate. Okay, town magistrate's good.

Kumai is bad. Uh-huh. Father was a teacher. Bad. Okay, I think that's all on that page. Uh-huh. Next. Well, not, his, your father was not married.

Okay. Oh, the 1,200s was the 1,200 is good or bad. 12-100s. Uh, 12-huhs is good. Good, yes. Okay. All right, I'm positive so far. And I think that's, I think that's everything for that one.

Okay, all right. So I'm up one point. I have one net point off of my first past life. Ronnie. Hi, Gerani. Wow. I always felt like you were a Gerani. Really? You're just not just saying that?

I call you Gerani in my head all the time. Can that be maybe my new? One more thing. What? No. And come my. Is Patrick? You're my fucking father?

That's bad. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Go back. Wait. Wait, how is that possible? what was the wait that's the most incredible plot was in my entire life teacher bad

because okay dude we mention I think I did say that I had a friend I mentioned both of your names okay I don't remember if I did wow wow this psychic is good because you guys do kind of have a father and son relationship I agree

kind of teaching you about the stars completely agree he was interested in round roofed buildings Yeah. That's so you. That is very you. You're really interested in the round roof buildings nowadays. Wait, you're already moved on. I'm trying to tally.

You don't give a fuck that you're my dad. You literally zero reaction. Wait, you have 1,200s, good for 1,200s. Zero reaction to be my fuck. Sorry, I, if we don't keep, if I don't keep the score right now, I'm not going to remember to do it. It's okay. You got the score. You're always more interested in your work than you are in me and the things I'm trying to share with you.

Can you please not do this right now? I'm trying to work. Oh, wait, time is also good. Yeah, that was 1,200s. Well, no, but time is good. Oh, time. We each get a point every time because time is good. I just can't believe you don't care that you're my dad.

Or that you were my dad. Hey, listen. You were my dad. You're not anymore. You're not anymore in this life. You are, look. In this life, you're a stranger to me. That's okay.

Is that okay? That's fine. Stop trying to do all this math. You're not that kind of teacher. I want to move to the next line. You guys both have one. I'm sitting here. I want one.

Wait, wait, wait, go back to that one slide about Kumai. This is all the stuff about Kumai. It's another life. The next one is about... A life after Kumai, right. Durrani. Which is your son. Okay, let's read the next one.

Who wants to read this one? Someone read it. I'll do it. Yeah. Pass life number two. Origins. Ancient Egypt, around 2,500 BC. That is a really good one.

That is so good. I don't really hope this is me. Your name was Neyhor. This is me. You and your brother Shabbatook were priests. You were both, I really hope for your sake, this is you. You were both noble-born high priest of the God, Fat, communed with him for the betterment of Egypt. Fat gave you knowledge for building, planning, power production as in electrical energy,

and worked with tablets of destiny. Tablets of destiny. And you used a lapis lazuli stone to amplify Kha energy. Wow. I do all this stuff. This could be you. You were very close, and your father was a very important member of the Pharaoh's court. You had great psychic ability and moved from being a high priest to a more important position, working for the god Amun, but you were unhappy.

You missed working daily with Shabatuk after taking on your new position and desired to return to the temple. In time, you were allowed to return to the temple of fat. You still think it's you. I'm voting. I think Panehor is me. Yeah. I think I have to also say this is you. I feel, when I heard the name Shabbatuck, a chill went down my spine. You know what I feel?

I almost feel like you're the only one who actually has any past lives and we are like brand new souls. Yeah. Well, you just have, what do you mean? I think maybe we're one reincarnation in. You feel deep in a way that I think me and Patrick. 2,500 BC style. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

I think that you might be on your like 100th life. Yeah. I feel like an old soul sometimes. Yeah. And I do still commune with fat. I know that you do. Yeah. Now watch it not be me after I've basically said.

No, don't he don't. Oh, of course. I knew it. I knew it. Of course it's you. Of course it's me. So I get bonus points. Yeah, you do get bonus points. And so do you, right? And Shabbatook is Patrick. What? You're the dad. No, he's the brother. Oh, that was my, how do I keep coming? You were Shabbatook, bro. That's crazy. All right, go back to the first slide of this. Let's score this out. Okay, so ancient Egypt is, can we see Egypt is good? Egypt is good. Okay, 2500 BC. That's That's good. Panehor and Shabbatook. We were priests. Is priests on there? Priests is bad.

Minus 2. Okay. Damn. All right. But we didn't even think about it. Is using a lapis lazuli stone to amplify Kha energy? It's not in here, but we can give you points for that. That's a good.

Okay. Why are you? You aren't, you don't get that. Can you go next slide? Oh, right. You didn't use the Lapis lazuli. He used it. I had great psychic ability.

That's good. That's good. Yeah. Oh, that's good plus two. Yeah. I thought we both used it. And I think that's all on that slide. Yeah, I think that's it.

Wow. Wow. We were brothers in Egypt. Wow. I knew this about us. And we worshipped fat together. Okay, so I would like to really quickly point out the difference in Patrick's reaction from finding out that he is my father versus your brother. With your brother, you're saying, I always knew it.

I'm not ready to be. You don't give a fuck. I'm not ready to be a father. And I'm glad that I was a good father in a past life because there's no. Because you're not a good one here. There's no way I could be a good one now. You're unbelievable. I know.

I have so many past lives. No, that's not unbelievable. It's unbelievable how you act about finding out stuff like this. I would not want to be a father if I found out if I had a new brother. That's more exciting. An old brother. Go next. Actually, my old brother.

Go next. I got so many points from guessing. Past life number three. Shabbatook. Shabbatook. So, my, this past life, England mid-1300s, yeah. I don't know. England mid-13, this is you.

This may be, I don't know. I'm already locking in my guess. You are Robert, best friends with Thomas. Co-squires to a very wealthy long noble knight, Sir Rupert Lang. What did you get long from in those? Lang. But you put it between wealthy and noble. I don't know.

You have to move this. I can't read. I can't read anything. Okay. Thomas was a very big husky kid and got bullied for it. In the 13-100? You felt, okay, my prediction now is that Thomas is another brother. Thomas is a best friend.

Yeah. You felt very protective of Thomas for the bullying he received. You had an average bill for a 12-year-old boy. Next slide. That was good, if I remember correctly. Yeah. both Robert and Thomas worked on Sir Rupert's estate well into their 20s in the stables

as you were good with horses. Is that on here? Good with horses? That should have been on here. Thomas was later trained as a smith due to his large build. Married a peasant girl and were given land on the estate for your family. Thomas was set up with his own forge and stable

in the village that gave him a lifelong livelihood. A lifelong livelihood. Okay, so Robert. It's got to be another two-fer. You think so? It could be Caleb and Cameron. I think that I'm the kid who got bullied for being fat. Yeah.

I don't think I... Who is that? Was that Thomas? I think I don't exist. Thomas, yeah. I have not even been the main character. What are you talking about? You were in my past life.

It was all about how cool you were. No, it was. It was. It was all about how you, cool. You were so cool that I was so sad when you died. I didn't want to stop teaching. Then you're going to be Robert. No, I'm not.

I don't even, you're Robert. No, I don't make this. My guess is this is Patrick and you're the other fucker. Let me see. Robert is Kevin. Whoa. Okay, I'm Robert. And Thomas is Caleb. Wow. I'm the fucking fat kid.

How am I losing again? I was protective of you. I lost the DNA test. I found out of a hundred percent fucking white. You don't even care that I protected you in past life. Yeah. I do care. No, no, no.

You're so right. You're giving such an evil reaction. No, no, no, no, no. You're so right. Listen. Thomas. I might just be a little sensitive about the fact that I, I was pudgy. I was pudgy and I still am pudgy.

But you were Smith. You were a hundred. You were a husky. You became a blacksmith. I might have been husky. My brother had an average build, though, so it's not like big brother, not brother, best friends. Oh, my best friend had an average build for a 12-year-old boy.

You were my best friend in a past life. That is awesome. That is actually very awesome. I was friends with you, even though you were husky. Yeah. That's so sweet of you. Who gives a shit about being a father, best friends? With a husky kid?

With a husky kid. That's way better. That should be a bonus point. Yeah. England is bad. England is bad, yes. 1300s. Were you storing for your secondary lives?

What's up? Yeah. Should I do that too? Yeah, you should. I feel like. What do I know about myself? Well, you're England. I'm saying it for you.

England is bad. Bad. That's bad. We're both Squires. What's Squire? Squire is bad. Fuck. Okay.

Damn, this is all bad. I had an average build for a 12 year old boy. That's good. That's good? Yeah. Okay. All right. Next page, please.

Then we have Smith is Smith on there? No, Smith is not on there, but give yourself a... None of this stuff is on there. Give yourself a point for Smith. Yeah, you get a good point for being a Smith.

That's the coolest job. No, that's the coolest job you can have back then, man. Pity points at me, but I'll take it. A Husky Smith. I'll take him. I'm a Husky Smith. Well, I was Husky. I grew out of it, actually.

Oh, I don't know if it said that. Yeah, it says you remained a big. It says, trained as a Smith due to his large... It says later you had a large build. But you did, hey, you had a lifelong life. Your livelihood lasted your whole life. There's a big smith.

You're a husky guy with a livelihood who lasted until you died. I took my pity point. We can move on. Wow, Robert and Thomas. Rob Thomas. Rob Thomas. Okay. Past life number four.

There's got to be me. Small town near Belfast, 1840s. This is you. Catholic priest named Father Michael, who joined the church 17 against your father's wishes, but with the blessing of your mother. You were a hardworking kid who always sought to help others. It's not you.

You were given a parish near Belfast. Is it Belfast or Belfast? Belfast. Belfast. Okay, you were given a parish near Belfast. And always helped people solve their problems. Even a woman named Shannon O'Donnell, who was abused by her husband. Wow.

Well, we're giving him a lot of credit. Michael, could not be not him. She came to you about her husband beating her when he was drunk. You told her that it was her responsibility to stay with him. I hope this isn't me. Well, he was a priest. You told her you talked to her husband, and she asked you not to do that. You did it anyways.

You confronted her husband in the pub, and he struck you in the face before getting kicked out by other men in the pub. You threatened him with calling the police and the wrath of God. Well, that's a Catholic thing saying like, oh, you got to stay with your husband. even though it's bad. So you're defending yourself. Well, he also defended. You know what else is a Catholic thing? Oh my God. Well, he killed her in a drunken rage that night. When he was ordered to be hung, you came to him with a chance

to absolve his sins, which he declined. Hey, man, it's all good. You helped house the two orphans from their marriage, and the guilt of these events gave you anxiety and depression. Oh, my God. That's a horrible life. Yeah, it's me. Well, okay. Father Michael. Father Michael.

Okay, I mean, I'm putting Everything on Patrick I'm gonna go you Please don't be me Just to see I can get points Please don't be me It's bad God

What a terrible life Priest is bad Times two Please tell me I'm not the fucking husband No I think this was a one Okay it was a oneer Yeah I think this was a oneer The first oneer

Thank God All right 1840s is good So you got a good man Congratulations There's one good thing in that. Priest is bad. Times two. Plus two.

Yeah, priest. And then next slide, here, or sorry, back. Had anxiety and depression. That's minus two. This was an L life. There's nothing on this one. This is a terrible life. Yeah, this is just a huge L, man.

Yeah. I'm sorry to say. A woman came to you about being abused. You said, stay with him. I'm going to talk to him. She said, don't do it. He'll kill me. Then he killed her.

He beat you up. He beat you up. Then he went home and killed her. Then when he was. to be executed, you went up and said, you did nothing wrong, you are absolved. Oh, my God. You know what? I'm going to act. He was actually had a better moral compass than you in the moment.

He was like, no, what I did was wrong. I should go to hell. And you're like, no, you go to heaven. He's like, no, I should go to hell for this. Does this, does this, uh, past lives reader just hate me? No, man. You got to be my dad. Giving, giving out bad past lives.

No, she doesn't have any control over that. Yeah, it's, and we're the ones who decided what's good and bad. I do have something to say about who he, She seemingly like more than others, but I will save it for the end. It's definitely Cameron. Cameron got, you got the most awesome life yet. Yeah. I did like my life.

You've got an Egyptian, be an Egyptian genius with Lapis Lazuli to summon Kaa in her. That's so awesome, man. I can already say it now. That's made, makes me think, you know, I was kind of like, oh, she's making this stuff up, but I think she completely caught my vibe. I didn't put anything about psychic energy or Kaan energy into my stuff. Of course she cut your vibe, man. She knew.

I think she just materialized her. My past life was as bad as my real. All right. I'm going to do this one. Pass life number five. Please be good and be me. France. Oh, fuck. France, during the Middle Ages early Renaissance, early 1600s. Okay, so if you would put Middle Ages slash early Renaissance, we would have maybe given it a different rating. Yeah, we would get good. Your name is Raymond. Everybody loves Raymond. You're an instructor at the university, beloved by students and peers, although some were offended by your lack of religious reverence. This is sounding like me. This is so sounding like me. You were atheistic.

I'm an atheist woke. Wokey. You were innovative with your teaching. Preferring to give students innovative with your teaching. See, dude, I'm getting into character already. I was a professor. Preferring to give students a hands-on. Yeah, can you say that there's quotes? Just make sure, make it clear. A hands-on. Preferring to give students a hands-on as hands-on and experience as possible, and even taking them out to observe nature and make experiments to prove theories. Okay, this is- The quotes are out there are quotes on here. Okay, next. You were imprisoned, but because you were the son of Marquess named Francis, they couldn't torture you or kill you. You had a sister named Mary Elise. Why am I talking so weird?

Yeah, Marie Alice, whom you loved and who came to see you often. You didn't like her visiting you because you felt it was not a safe environment for her, but she kept coming to see you. You thought that your apartment was not safe for your sister. Prison. Oh. I'm in prison. Okay.

You were finally released from prison after the king put too much pressure on the church and the huge flow of students that kept visiting you. Oh, you got released. That's good. Good job. Yeah, in prison but not tortured. That's good. You were not allowed to return to the university,

so your father opened a new school in his own estate and gifted it to you. After your time in prison, you became more interested in how political maneuvering could make things worse or better for the populace. You lived into your mid-60s and taught many people. Caleb. Okay, I'm going to get, I mean, I can't guess, I guess, because it's my life. You can guess. It's me.

I think it's Caleb. I'm feeling Caleb here. Yeah, it's Caleb. Raymond is Caleb. God, all right. Everybody, give yourself bonus points if you guess me, man. A good name for your TV show. All right, so let's see.

How many bonus points do we get? Five, yeah. So, England. There's more. No. Oh, what? No. Francis is Caleb's mom.

Wait, you're dead. And Marie Alice is who we know. your dad was your mom my dad was my mom and your sister my sister was Julio how did Julio get in here I don't remember if I said anything about Julio really I would have to look at the message that I said her but maybe I did I mean I must have that's the only way to explain it wow okay wait France France is bad no my mom was my dad yeah yeah okay my mom was my dad was my dad yeah uh and now she's my mom france is france is bad middle ages is bad middle ages is bad um i'm a teacher instructor at the university i think that was bad yeah bad okay next

slide imprisoned but not tortured that was good that's good son of a marquess and father named francis both of those good father named francis bad okay um how do you have so many more points Because I've guessed everybody correctly. Oh. Next. Did I guess anyone correctly? Probably not, bro. You're a noob.

Yeah, I think that was that was everything. All right. Well, I mean, beyond the points. I can't believe that. That's a massive revelation. Yeah. First of all, we have the first involvement of somebody who's not on this current podcast. My mother.

My beautiful mother who got me out of jail. Yeah, Francis. Francis. Thank you, Francis. Who was a man? That's why we're, and you predict, you said, you said Francis, that's a woman's name. You felt it. Whoa.

Pure psychic power. Pure psychic power. That's crazy. Does that a point? Wow. I hope that in our next life we do this again. Sure, you can have a point for that. When I'm your brother and you're his mom, I hope we can do this again in the next life. Can you imagine somebody in the future doing this and they get the story of us doing this? We've done psychic greetings. There were three podcasters and Cameron was, and Patrick was

They go, whoa. Wow. All right, let's hit the next one. Probably what their names will be like that. Number six. This is all you, Pat. Oh, China, 1400s, where you are a male. Where you are a male.

Where you are a male in China. Your name was Juan Lee, and you live to 76 years old. Congratulations. Your father was very controlling. You think you got Egypt and China? Oh, yeah, I do. Yeah. She did like you more.

Your father was very controlling, and you had to do what he said. You were a student of Confucianism, and it is your father's wish for you to join government work where you finish your studies. You graduated and went on to become a local bureaucrat working in your father's department. That was bad. A lot of this stuff is bad. Your father arranged an adventurous marriage for the family with Leon. Adventitious. Adventious Leon, with whom you went on to have several children with.

You talked to your sons about philosophy and nature and the spiritual world. When one of your sons expressed their desire to become a monk, you were very very. very supportive. You were very happy you would have someone with whom you could have deeper conversations with. Juan Lee. I think this is you. I think this. If it's not, I'm going to guess myself because I'm trying to will it to be me. I want to be Juan Lee so bad. I think personally there's no way this isn't you. I really am praying for him. And all I would ask is that I get to be your friend in this one in exchange for voting for you. I'll see what I can do. Let's see. It's me.

I got more bonus points for me I fucking do I do I get bonus points for guessing my own yeah you do the bonus points we have not been keeping good track of the only one here's keeping track is Caleb I guess somebody but I don't remember who okay that's on you man yeah bonus points then and the father is my dad ah your dad got to be your damn dad that's a little on the nose yeah that's so obvious but I will say again yeah you know I didn't put anything about about how I am I Do you have Egyptian DNA. I didn't put anything about how I am in love with China. Yeah, it's true.

It is kind of what you. She loved killing. I'm not going to lie, it's Erie. And also, you being Irish is strange. Yeah. So China, what was China? What was China? Good? China is good.

Okay, China is good. Fourteen hundreds is good. 1400s is good here. Good, okay. Let's see. Controlling father. Controlling father is bad. Okay.

Beercrat. Local bureaucrat was bad. Okay. Next, please. Oops. An advantageous marriage? Was that on there? I don't think so. I think that might have been everything. Nobleborn? Oh, was I nobleborn?

No. Oh, okay. No. Okay, I was not. That's fine. I don't need to be nobleborn if I'm Chinese. Yeah, who cares? I think they're all noble. I consider that noble. You think every past life is noble? No, every Chinese person. Oh, that's very sweet of you. Yeah, that's really nice.

It's really nice. So you really like China like that. I kind of wish Juan Lee was me because it seems like every past life that I've had was either a secondary character. Well, let's get past life number seven. Because I'm sure that this is you. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see.

This got to be you, bro. Pass life number seven. Origins. America, 1923. You were named Abraham after Abe Lincoln. Born to an African American family. Your father was a teacher and your mother was illiterate. You did very well in school and showed an interest in writing.

journalism. You enrolled to a university in Chicago and were a year out of graduating when World War II broke. This is Caleb. This has got to be Caleb. You joined the army to go fighting Europe. You were sent to be in a platoon of colored soldiers in France. You were given a promotion within months and soon found yourself in a position of power. You led your platoon into numerous battles. Your platoon took heavy losses. Eventually you met a young man from California named George and became very good friends with him. Your friendship was pivotal for your soul. Okay. George,

curious George. No way. George taught you to let go of the bitterness and the blame. You saw that not all people were the same and had been guilty of judging them based on race. About eight months before the end of the warrior,

your platoon was ordered into a forest to clear a path and search for any Germans. You, George, and six other men were caught in the crossfire of two snipers. No, George! George was struck in the chest and you risked your life to pull him to safety behind a tree.

You tried to carry George on your shoulders to the nearest medic, but the mud and the extra weight made it hard to run. You were struck in the leg. Before someone could get to you, You were struck a second time in the side of the head just about the ear, killing you instantly.

Oh, my God. Abraham is Patrick. George is like Patrick's brother or something. Maybe. I, listen, as much as I wish this was me because he died a hero with a bullet in his head, I do think. It's not me.

I do think it's Caleb. Abraham is Caleb. I think that you... I'm guessing Patrick is Abraham. I think that Patrick is Abraham and I'm Jacob or George. George. Let's see it. That's my guess.

Oh, I fucking knew it. Abraham is Patrick. That's five. See, I've guessed every single one. Every life I've had has been... That's a great way. And George is me! Fuck!

Yo! Yeah, I'm going to give myself half points for that guess. I'll give myself two points. Okay, wait. Let's go through that illiterate mother. Good. All right. Let's start at the beginning.

America. Bad. America was bad. 19-1900s. Bad. Oh. Your father was a teacher. That was something, right?

That was bad. Father was a teacher is bad. Do we have anything about World War II? I don't think we did. No. Okay. Well, I guess that's bad. Next slide.

That's, well, it's kind of cool. Next slide. Next slide. I think it's just that you died in the war. That's one of them, right? Oh, that's good plus two. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, so I think that's everything then. All right. Fuck. Wow. I didn't think I would be George. You, dude. Curious George. And I get why y'all's relationship is the way it is now.

Because you, we've been together in so many, and we, and what we were, we're brothers, Shabbatook? My Shabbatook. So you. My Abraham. No, don't say it like that. Because that what I get to say, oh, my dad and is my dad's friend. Well, you could say my, you come across the, you come across. Well, yeah, I guess you're also, who are you in my life?

You were my friend. And I was fat. Yeah, I was Robert and you were Thomas. I got shot in the fucking head. Why do you act? We literally. rated it good to die in the war. Yeah, that's dying, but

I mean, dying in the war. That's the best possible way to die in the war. That's not, well, I guess I died valiantly. Yes, exactly. You saved George. I saved my good friend George. Who was struck in the chest. Yeah.

And I was a black guy from Chicago. It's awesome, dude. You were like Little Dirk named Abraham. That was like Little Dirk. It was so awesome. And he was King Vaughn. Oh my God. That's literally the,

The past life that you live, basically. Wow, that's crazy. That's unbelievable. I can't believe some of these past lives. It's so awesome. It's exciting. Okay, so that was a really good life. All right, I think we have two left.

All right, we have two left. All right, this is you, Caleb. All right, fuck. I looked at the first sentence, and I already am hoping this isn't me. America, Civil War era, named William Collie, or perhaps Connolly. How can you get all these details and not even know the motherfucker's last name? for real. I'm starting to double second guess this lady.

You had a young wife, young wife named Ellis. She was your childhood sweetheart, and you married her as soon as she turned 17. Please don't be me. You had a best friend, Robert. Where have we heard that before? Oh, my God.

Wait. Whom you grew up with, his family owned the farm next to yours. He had a wife named Sarah, who was pregnant at the time when you two signed up two for the war. William Robert. The civil war, that is.

next you fought in several battles a couple key to the war you fought together yeah with your 17 year old wife no with my friend Robert Robert you with Robert oh wait what side that's what I'm wondering why yeah it seems I feel like we can assume because she is not specifying that it's the south yeah yeah one day your commander ordered your platoon to attack a group of innocent civilians no it's the north it has to be the north you and Robert protested and were threatened with execution. After an investigation took place, the commander was fired, and you and the men who protested were exonerated. You and Robert opened a law practice. Wow.

William Collie slash Connolly. I'm going Caleb for William Colley, and I'm going to go for Robert. I'm going to go for Robert. No, it's you. You just don't want to be a part of of this war. Robert. No. I'm going to guess that I'm William. I'm going to guess that I'm William. I'm going to guess that I'm William. Let's see. Yep. a fucking Confederate soldier with a 17-year-old wife was my past life

who's Robert I can Robert is me I can reveal that you fought for the north yes yes dude and my wife

and my wife was not 17 you can reveal that too and I was 10 two years older than her oh that's not that bad okay all right we'll take that

All right. I can't believe. Look, we shared a life together. And we fought in a civil war and then opened a law practice. That is honestly, that might be my favorite connection that we've had. That is an amazing connection. A law partner. Okay, America, bad. Bad.

Civil war era. Do we have that? I don't think so. We have 1840s. Is that ballpark? Close enough. Oh, you guys didn't die fighting in war. 18.

I think 1840s is a close. Either 1840s or 19-30 years off. Yeah. So let's go, let's just not score that one. That's fine. Yeah, I don't really want to score civil war. Married your childhood sweetheart at 17. Bad.

Bad. Okay, next. Let's see here. I don't think any of... Didn't kill civilians. Not listed, so can't mark any points for that. Okay. Open a law practice, that's not anything.

I think that's everything, right? I mean, you didn't get killed. Yeah. I'm realizing we really should have just done one bonus point. Because I've had by far, I think, the worst lives. and I have like a million points. So this is almost who is most psychic combined with... That's true.

It should have been two different scores. We can just rate it afterwards. We can decide really think I had the best ones. I think a tally system for this doesn't make too much sense, but it's okay. You're going to tally how many days I lock you in the office. You're not going to be dissing the tally system. I think that the reason that tally system doesn't work for you is because you're confused how it works. You keep getting confused about which one you just guessed on.

Well, which one is supposed to be the line through it. The line across is the line across. And so I'm seeing that you, one of these tallies, you couldn't remember if you go diagonal tally or if you go straight through strike-through style. That was a pen mistake. Well, you do it on two different sides. On that one, you put a top to it. On that one, you put it right through the middle and then that. So I'm really thinking that this is an issue of tallyability. I don't think I tally much in my life. That's fair. That's a very good response. I love tallying. I tally all the time. I tally a lot.

I tally constantly. I guess that's both don't dally write a tally. That's one of my sayings. Really? Rally. Rally. What was your name again? George. Shabbat or Patoon, how are you?

Yeah. Juan Lee. Juan Lee. Well, hold on. Juan, fucking Lee. So you've had three lives already. Don't come on, man.

Let's just, don't try and game it out. What are you doing? I'm not trying to win. I'm not trying to win. You're trying to win instead of trying to learn. Well, I'm trying to learn who it is. Yeah.

You want the bonus. All right, no points for this one then. All right. Let's do no no guessing points for this one. Okay. Just good, bad points. All right. Let's see who.

We all agree. All right. Let's read it out. But I'm still going to guess. I'll still guess. I agree. Bro, don't cross your fingers. Crossing your fingers is for promising, not agreeing.

Read it out. Oh, sorry. Ottoman Empire 1500s. Your name was Christopher. That's an odd name for back then. And you were taken by the Janissaries at age 6. You were given a Muslim name of Ali Mustafa and raised in Islam.

Dude. Is that on here? That should be on here. That should be plus 15. Please. You met the future Sultan Suleiman and formed a strong bond with him. When you were 17, you traveled to your first big battle and showed great skill as a warrior. And loyalty as a soldier, you were sent to do battle in Persia as one of the Sulamon's

leading commanders. Next slide. Over the next 15 years, you were sent to many battles in Turkey, Egypt, Persia, Hungary. And even into Austria, you married a love. lovely woman by permission and gift of the sultan. You married a lovely woman by permission. By permission and gift of the sultan at 32. Your popularity in the courts was seen as suspicious, especially by the grand vizier,

who was plotting to kill all of the Suleiman brothers. He attempted to murder you and your second wife at the age of 38. Jafar was trying to get you the vizier. You had a full Jafar. You had a full Jafar. Oh my God. Whoever this is. It's your first wife died during childbirth, giving birth to your third child.

child. Your second wife was the first cousin to the Sultan named Fatma. You fell in love quickly and found Fatma to be a devoted wife. You could share your thoughts and feelings without her judging you. During your mid-30s, the Sultan put you in charge of a region in North Africa that he spent years fighting to control. You didn't

like it there. You hated Africa. North Africa. You earned many enemies due to your determination and loyalty to Suleiman. Your enemies plotted against you and forged letters to try to frame you for spying on the sultan. You were beheaded in North Africa. The Sultan

publicly mourned you. Fatma mourned you deeply and never remarried. Wow. Beheaded in North Africa. This is Patrick. Maybe. Ali Mustafa. Patrick. I'm going Patrick. You think Patrick was not like Africa and then the Africans beheaded him. I like Africa. But you got to protect Suleiman and Jafar came after. Yeah.

So I would say that this is a real I think it's Caleb. 50-50. And I bet that Patrick's, one of Patrick's relatives will be involved. I would like to be the man who'd beheaded you. No, I do not want to be fatma. I want you to be Fatma. That would be such a beautiful connection.

I'm your son and your wife. Let's see it. It's Patrick. I knew it. Beheaded in North Africa. Aheaded in North Africa. And Fatma is gay. Oh.

Dude, I never even remarried. I never recovered. And I literally said before I knew it was. That's how deeply you love him. I said that you had an insane dick game. I said that quietly because I was like, well, she never remarried. Well, you were tearing me up. so hard that I never even

thought to remarry. Yeah. I stayed single. Wow. In North Africa. Ottoman Empire 50. Oh, good. Okay, 1500s is bad. Ugh. Let's see here. Vizio. Or is that an orphan?

Beheaded was good, right? Yeah. Is orphaned? Is that technically? I don't think you were an orphan. Oh, beheaded was good plus two. Yeah. A bit of a spy thing was from this story. Okay, a bit of a spy. A bit of a spy was good plus two.

Beheaded was good plus two. What's the next slide? Okay, let's see here. That's a really actually banger in terms of points. Yeah, I think there's nothing on this one. Earned many enemies. Yeah. Oh, that's good.

That's one. That's good. It's like the perfect life. I think, yeah, I think that was, that's everything on it, I think. Yeah. The headed in North Africa. Wow. And he used to fucking fuck me.

I mean, I know I know I keep saying this. I did really get that vibe from me before. Beheaded in North Africa? Beheaded in North Africa. I'm beheaded in North Africa. You think so? I really think that I could kind of see that in my mind's eye about it. I could definitely see you being beheaded in North African holding up your head and them kicking it around.

North Africa is Egypt? Yeah, so that's sort of stuff. That's interesting that I was your brother in Egypt and then I was beheaded also. Yeah, I guess that was like almost 3,000 years apart. Maybe our souls had... What if you were the North African who beheaded me? Well, I feel like that would be on the reading if that was to be true. Yeah, that's a good point.

So I got to be fat and your wife. And what was my other secondary and the son of you? I lost. I fully lost, I think. That's every life, right? That's all of them, right? The end of the presentation? Yeah.

Okay, yeah. So that's every life. Wow, I can't believe that. I feel so much closer to the world. How do I lose the race off so badly? And then we do a fade off. My history is just bad. I don't think so.

My genetic history. No, but this is what we were saying before. If you had a bunch of bad lives in the past, that means you're due, brother. This one is turning out like shit, too. Yes, so you're due as fuck. Next one, you're probably going to be king of fucking what. Africa. Africa.

You think that in my next life. You could be that in your name, in this life. We don't know what's going to happen in the future. Maybe they all make one contiguous African state. Maybe they all join together. make you king. And you're the king. That sounds pretty good.

Yeah. You're going to have so many good... We got all our good stuff over with. Him being being an evil priest. Yeah, it was a bad Catholic priest. That one was bad. You had the worst...

The total worst life, I would say, was that one. Yeah. I would say you might have had the best and the worst. The priest one. Julio was pretty cool. Who did... Who did she have a bias towards?

So, okay. I guess it doesn't really come across due to how I like set it up sort of but she by far wrote the least for Cameron really? She only wrote like four pages for him wow

and then we had good lives she wrote the most for for you pet oh wow I condensed it a lot but I think one of the first stories that one that last one she like she starts it off by saying

this one is more surprising because it takes part of it's part of history and it's you yours and Caleb's lives and it goes on for like three or four pages I'm going to have to read that yeah it's kind of the opposite of what you said I think I maybe I'm a younger soul you think so hasn't had as many past lives that could have been identified like completely horrible it was the whole thing you're telling me that this woman on fiber that we gave $35 was not that good at this She was great at it. What are you talking about?

And writing Cameron's thing? Well, but your job is not to be a writer when you're a psychic. That's true. I'm overjoyed with my life. Egyptian, Chinese, Middle Ages. Yeah. That's pretty much a... That's kind of your favorite thing.

That's my three favorite things. And I was American, fat, fat, and a wife. God, my life sucks. You had some other stuff going on. Yeah, you had plenty of stuff. What did you have? You had, um... We fought in the Civil War, bro.

Wait, wait. Who loved tacos and burritos? I don't think that was on there. I think that was a red herring. We should have gotten Julio's done secretly. Yeah, I'd be able to them right now. God, that would have been so good. That would have been smart.

Yeah. So where do we go from fate off? We'll have to find out. What's the next off that we do? I don't know. Played off. What would taste like? Who had the best food diary?

Yeah. Yeah. But the most interesting ingredients. There's not too many. We basically covered everything that can be about somebody. Yeah. That's what I'm saying.

It's like, I just don't even know what a favorite color. That's like a one second episode. Blue. All right. Well. Who's favorite color? Happy Halloween.

Say favorite color before you go. Oh, yeah. It's the end. Oh, she's got a full favorite color episode before. And it's on the Patreon. If you want to find my favorite color, you're going to have to.

Oh, yeah. It might not be, but. Oh. Don't remember what to be. Let's say. and see us in Chicago in three months. Oh, yeah. If you're in Chicago in three months,

come up to that festival. Tomorrow never knows. Get yourself some candy. Go and go, guys, just go out there. Treat you out. Trick or treat yourself. It's the most amazing time of the year. Did you hear what I said?

Favorite candy bar? Favorite candy bar? Did you hear what I said? Ammon Joy. Treat yourself. Almond Joy. Okay. Almond joy is pretty good.

Or the other one. Yeah, the other one. Mine would be the other one. The black one. What is the dark? Mounds. Mounds. I like mounds too. I think mine is a baby Ruth.

Does it have to be a bar? Take five, yeah. Probably I'll enjoy that, I guess. Okay, wait, baby Ruth, take five, payday. Ew. Payday's good, dude. Chill on me. None of them are bad.

Chocolate payday. A payday is a construction worker snack. That is not a real handy. You ever had chocolate payday? No. I'm sure that's good, but you said payday. Yeah, but it's still a payday. You said payday, motherfucker.

It's still a payday. Oh, and okay. Eminem's yeah white chocolate Eminem's okay that's your life why are you so understanding as my father okay I got to go okay well then we'll leave bye like that's not that like we've seen donkey hit by train yeah you've seen that video bro no but no did you ever pull it up okay you got it's it bad no no it's not bad it's not gory at all I promise really yeah it's a good video it's literally it's a good video, it's like, it's like a sketch.

You've really never seen it. It's like a Kyle Moody's skin. Docky hit to Pakistan. Docky hit to train Pakistan. What did you show me that pro? What is you? What do you mean? Everybody, you're literally the first person who's ever had this reaction. Yeah. Usually you show people this video when you put us on in someone's TV.

When you put this on at a party? People like the, it's a funny video. It's sweet. It has a sweet ending. Yeah, it's cute. What's sweet about it? He's fine. He's fine.

He's fine, by the way. He walked away with a headache, is what I heard. I don't. I don't. They took him to a doctor and he had a headache. Yeah. The train, it was a doggy medicine. This is a train that was shipping jello through Pakistan. The title says, train smashes donkey to pieces.

It's a translation issue. It happens in Pakistan. And then it says train versus animal in additional parentheses. And then train runs over a horse. Well, that's obviously wrong. So now you know that the whole thing is not right, because it says horse. You're going to trust a video that says horse. Clearly a donkey.

Well, next to a jello train that crashes. He looks so serene. Yeah. He doesn't know. He doesn't know what a train is. He doesn't. He doesn't know that he's a donkey either. He thinks it's another donkey coming by.

To give him to give him a kid. Yeah. He just wants to get him. He's sitting there with his cheek out. Yeah. H. H.