Podcast About List - Ep. 314 - We Know Who Won The Elections And Will Tell You Now

Episode Date: November 6, 2024

These are REAL results for the presidential elections that took place November 5th 2024 and here's how to parse the information: If you wanted Kamala Harris to win, listen from 1:30 and STOP listening at 31:50 If you wanted Donald J Trump to win, listen from 32:00 and STOP listening at 1:00:40 If you wanted a TIE, listen from 1:00:42 and never stop listening to your heart. Again, these results are REAL and not hypotheticals, but if you're a fan of hypothetical situations and want to share some with us, leave us a voicemail at our HYPO-LINE by calling [phone] CALL OUR HYPO-LINE [phone] Subscribe to us on YouTube youtube.com/@PodcastAboutList Buy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes a

Welcome to the podcast About List, 2004, Election Special. The following transmission is a compilation of three parallel universes where these scenarios really happened. For the transmission where Kamala Harris wins, skip to one minute and 30 seconds in. For the transmission where Trump wins, skip to 33 minutes in. For the transmission where the results ended in a tie, skip to one hour, one minute and 30 seconds in. Again, these are transmissions from real universes. These things really happened.

We do not deal with hypotheticals. But if you think you have good hypotheticals, such as, what would you do if you had $1 right now? What would you do if you woke up and it was dark outside and it was 8pm? Or something like, would you rather be 2 inches shorter or 2 inches taller and not notice? Please share them with us at our hypo line calling 9-2-9. Nine, three, seven, six, nine, four, nine, nine, nine. Again, leave your hypotheticals at nine, two, nine, three, seven, six, nine, four, nine, nine.

Okay, I love you, bye. You don't seem that excited, Mr. Cameron. Well, I was just thinking we should maybe do one clap first to sink it, because I think a lot of claps at once is probably bad. Yeah, like that. There's our one clap thing. That was kind of my thing. That's the only reason because...

I am excited. We are excited. Because Kamala Harris is the 46th president of the United States. Give it up for Mrs. Kamala Harris. She's gone from being... And listen, and listen, this is... Listen. Listen.

If I was in the White House, this would not be the only clap I would be giving out. Yeah. What do you mean by that? We'd be giving back shots to the president. Why would be giving her the clap? You would be fucking. I have the clap.

If they let you in the White House for one second, you would be fucking the president. Don't touch me if you have it. It doesn't. You don't get the clap for through hands, you know what? I just did that because I knew that he would be scared because he thinks that touching his sex and that's what I just proved.

It's sex. Touching is the beginnings of sex. It's the beginnings. It's the beginnings. I don't want the clap. Why don't you want the clap? The clap is not that. We just gave the clap to everybody on the camera.

Everybody gets the clap, they say. I don't like it. I don't like the clap for real. It's disgusting. Have you ever had an STD? No. Why? Because.

Because you're a fucking virgin? Because I'm safe. You ever had an STI though? No. Because you're a stupid virgin? No. You've never boned in your life? I've boned.

You've never gotten any. I've gotten some. You've never gotten any, bro. I've gotten it upside down. No, you have not gotten it. You got it upside down? Mm-hmm. You got it.

You took it? I took it upside down. Okay. You received it upside down? You took it upside down? You took it upside down? You got jackhammer? You got jackhammer?

That's an amazing. Yeah, I took it. Took it into the other room and threw it away. Yeah. Yeah, I'll take it from you, bro. Yeah, I'll take it from behind. Put it in the... Yeah, sure, I'll take it from behind.

Yeah, let me take it away and get rid of it. It's somewhere else because you're trying to have sex with me. My mouth. Yeah. Grabbing it. Yeah. That's right. Somewhere.

can ever see. These are some of the important issues that are affecting the Kamala Harris presidency already. Already. You know, she's walking around there and she's thinking, where am I going to have sex with my husband? Yeah. Maybe the bed. Doug. Doug. And you know that Doug is digging. Mm-hmm. Doug is digging. Dig-dug. Yeah. That's why they call him big Doug. Uh-huh. I saw what says he'd be puffing that dragon up. I told him. I don't know if I told you. Emhoff was spotted in the neighborhood. Yeah. By me. Yeah. Whoa. She, she chills with all the news got. News got around that you saw she chills with people originally they chill with all the i think it's they i don't know is it i don't know come on the president what about that person would tell you that they're they

exactly how could you possibly know you think might be a she they you're thinking you have a situation i don't think i have a good they dar no i don't think you do either i don't think i have i mean i can i can clock a gay person easy i can clock a gay person easy that shit's easy they person Jesus. That's how you do it. No, I don't. Yeah, you're a violent homophobe. Easy. You are. You literally said I clot gay guys.

I don't clot. You said it was easy for you. You said it's easy to clock gay guys. They're really put up a fight. This is where I draw the line. Because you're so gay. This is where I draw the line. Because Kamala is Harris is.

Kamala is Harris of presidency. Kamala is Harris of presidency. If Kamala is the president, which she is, obviously, because you're listening to this right now, then things are really changing around here. My grandpa will probably pass away in the next four years. I think he's just been holding on because of Trump. He was like frozen in time, I would say. Yeah, 2016. From 2016.

That hope he didn't age a day. I have a lot of phlegms. That could be an effect. I woke up with a sty, which makes me think that something bad will happen with this election cycle. I don't know what it was. Yeah, but I think that's a bad omen. That is a bad omen. A bad omen for your eye.

That name is just terrible. Stai? That's a crossword classic. That's what I have. how I learned what a st-y-y-e. Both are crossword classics. Yeah, but the one that I knew what a sty was without a E. Yeah.

I'd learned from a crossword. I thought it was S-T-Y both sides. No, no. A pig lives with no, because think about this, does a pig live with an E? Was it named after a pig? E and I. No, it wasn't named after a pig. What do you mean?

Was it named after a pig? The thing is a sty named after a pig? Like the pig sty? Like a pig sty was named after a pig? You got so much dirt in your eye, it's like a pig-stye. I think they literally did it because it rhymes with eye. Yeah. And it's like stinky eye or some shit.

Stinky eyes. I think I have the stinky. Stuck eye. That's what makes sense. Why do they not do a blague when you have a broken leg? Some doctors do that. Yeah. Have you not, you have a doctor who said you have a blake?

No, I've never had a fucking doctor that said that shit. Well, have you ever broken your leg? No, that's why. That's a really good point. I've never broken a bone. I guess I say blag, blarm. You have a blag and a blarm? You have a bling and a barb.

Yeah. And you have a be a beck brain damage. Bingers. And your bingers, you have bingers. You broke bingers. You bingered every finger. You have bingers and a bum. All four bingers and a bum.

Yeah. Yeah. And a sprinkle. You have a sprankle. You have a sprinkle. You have a sprangle a blinger. I honestly, I don't think you're going to survive. You have a sprinkle on it.

You have bramage. And you have, you have, you have tanser. And your fall made you have a booth. You have tanser and cancer. Yeah. I think that. And Brancer. Your fall,

you gave you a chuth. Yes. And your chuth went through your bong. Your chuth, your chuth pierced through your bong. I think that we should get used to talk in different languages now that Kamalo is Harris. Yeah. We're going to start having to speak different languages to appease our...

And actually, I have an investigative report. Oh, you do, do you? Yeah, about what? I've actually done a lot of research about this, and I would like to get into it. Yeah, go ahead, man. If you could pull up my slides here. So, Kamala Harris is one. What do we know so far?

Next slide. Just click on it. Julio, you got to click on it. This is what we know right now. Next slide. This was the election results. You can see right here. The Democrats won 2192.

I mean, we already all know this. You all know this at home. We saw this happen. But for those who don't know who get their news from us, the Democrats won 292 to 246. The results are actually quite confusing. Next slide. See, because I don't really understand. I know what liberal and conservative are.

That's the Republicans and the Democrats. Yeah, CAQ, no idea what that is. That's some kind of. Well, oh, you know. know what, I'm seeing the problem here, Pat. What? This is from 2022. Oh, is this, are these primary results?

It's something like that. Yeah, this must be primary results. That makes the next slide make no sense either because this is, yeah, it's the same thing. But we all know how Kamala won. Next slide. The results are conclusive. Next slide. She won in an unprecedented election night, Hail Mary move.

Yeah. Where she publicly executed Tony Hinchclives on the streets of Mechanicsburg, PA. We all saw this. We were, you know, and we talked a lot of. lot as on Mr. T.H., Mr. The cliff himself. But to have him publicly executed, I feel like it was a step too far.

The way that this happened to was insane. He was turned into a human puppet, which is an old I mean, what's the what's that those... Puppet. What's that thing called the Crusades? Sesame Street. Oh. The Inquisition. It was an old Inquisition era.

Torture tactic. I see. Then after he was made into a human puppet, he was actually strung out into meat ribbons, then put to get back together with glue. Then he came back to life, which after that he died of extreme depression. A little bit of Hinchcliff Chittorone. That'd be good, man. And fucking roast it. Oh, that's fucking roast it when I eat it. That'll teach you to roast. Mr. Cliff. Yeah. Yeah, then the election was briefly tied after that, which she actually, she won by a

buzzer beater. That's an interesting photo you chose here. That was the only one that showed up on Google. She won by a buzzer beater in the very last minute now, as we all know, a buzzer beater in politics is when you let a bee loose in your opponent's campaign headquarters. Oh, yeah. Buzzer, buzzer beater. The bee stung Trump's nose, and then Trump actually swallowed the bee. And next slide, we actually have leaked audio from the Trump campaign headquarters.

Actually, that's coming up after this. Trump right now, he said he actually supports Harris's use. of the bee. In his concession speech, he said, if I knew that we could use the B, I would have used the B, but she used the B first. And thankfully, Trump is not allergic to B. Is this his first time being stung by a B? This is his first time. Okay, because sometimes allergies develop on the second sting. Or the second election. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the next time he runs for office, he could, I mean, there could be another buzzer, there could be another buzzer beater and we could find out that he's gravely allergic to him. So I'm just

I just want to say to everyone who is close to Trump, just don't assume that it's okay to stinging with a bee at this point. He could be allergic. But honestly, fuck Trump. He lost. Yeah, exactly. And do you think that maybe part of it was that having a larger nose, maybe people didn't recognize him? Well, it's also his cheeks too. Well, his nose in his cheek, maybe people

didn't recognize him and they didn't know who they were voting for. We can actually hear what he said on the night. Okay. All right, let's listen. What happened? Oh my God, oh my fucking God. They used to be a vanka, Vanka. Seriously, you got a fucking cup with the bee in a cup?

Holy fucking shit. Oh, no. Oh, oh, oh, I'll stun my nose. Fuck, fuck, oh. I swallowed it. I swallowed it. That means I lose fuck food. Okay, we'll concede now. Yeah, these are, this is Trump in his own words. Wow. How did you get this? Oh, I have, I have sources. I have people that I know that. That work in the Trump headquarters? That work in the Trump headquarters, yes.

Oh, I see. Yeah, I'm really not excited about this win. Ah, I can tell. Wow. Yeah. The buzzer beater was I mean that's it That's like a It's a dirty A dirty trick

But Trump said that he does concede He respects it And honestly I respect Kamala for using it It's kind of like A lot of politicians Are not willing to stoop down to the level Of a racist sexist Masogynist

But I'm glad that Kamala was able to You know step up and step down She did it with a B She did it with a B Do you feel like maybe we're in trouble In there may be The B may become politicized at this point?

Oh, it's become politicized. Really? Yeah, next slide. The B has become politicized. Really? Yeah. Okay, let's listen to this again. Public response to this has actually been pretty terrible.

Okay, go ahead and walk me through that. Yeah, they're doing it again. Oh. November said, 116. So this is coming in a few days. Yeah, this is. Well, you know, the election wasn't in January last time. Yeah, it wasn't in January, but this is 116.

That's one more one than one six. Oh. Like two, like Roman numeral two six. Jurassic Park 2 to The Lost World. That's awesome. It's actually really interesting that they did this today. They're doing this right now. This is happening right now.

This is happening right now? Yeah, this is what is happening right now on the steps of the Capitol. Do you guys ever feel like there's so many dates now that you have to fucking remember? October 7th, January 6th, like I don't, 12, 25. You're constantly giving me all these dates. I mean, who doesn't? Which 1225? Is that my wife's birthday?

That might be. It could be. No, it's Christmas. Oh, yeah. See, I, same problem. Yeah. Getting mixed up. There's so many days you've got to remember your anniversary, January 11th, or all this shit.

You know what? My advice would be is keep a calendar. Calenders can be useful. But then I got to remember what, 365 days? I got to remember every day. Jesus Christ. That's a lot, man. The math that I just had to do in my head thinking about 365 days that I have to remember.

That's fucking bullshit. Every year, man. Big calendar is really, yeah. Not every year. Sometimes. One extra. Are you fucking serious? 366.

Yeah. I don't like that at all. Yeah. Double the three now. Literally half of 666. Yeah. Literally split in half. Jesus.

Literally split in half like a demonic sacrifice. That's fucking disgusting to me. Dissected. Like a demon. Well, they're doing it again. Next slide. The insurrectionists are completely appalled by the use of the B and they've taken up arms and storm the capital again.

This time it's most. mostly about the B. You know, I'm going to say I support Kamala. I'm glad she won. I would not protest along with these insurrectionists, but I do think that the B is a slippery slope. And I'm okay with the use of the B to secure the election for the Democrats, but I am worried that maybe Kamala going forward for the next four years or even eight years

is going to be using the B just whenever she wants for whatever purpose. That's what a lot of people. Nate Silver was talking about this. Yeah, I remember that. My feeling is what if we see next year or next elections, I go, what if there's two Bs? I'm just thinking, I'm thinking the situation where she's, Kamala's holding kind of a town hall or a state of the union. A reporter says like, oh, Kamala, can you increase funding to our schools?

Our children can't even learn anymore. And Kamala says, I don't like that question. Release the B. Well, not even release to me. She goes like, oh, it's really interesting you should ask that. I feel the thing is. It just lets a B out of her pocket right then. Oh, wait.

What's that? Oh, it's a B. Stings the reporter. Stings and a free speech. Exactly. First Amendment. Now she has a get out of jail free card any time. Get out of jail B.

Any, yeah, get out of JLB card. Get out of JLB. 5B card. This is a scary, unprecedented thing. It really is, but I'm still happy for her and I like her. Yeah. Me as well. As long as she doesn't belabor that B.

Yeah. And also if the B stings or bottom, it makes it even bigger. That would be pretty. Oh, my goodness. Her bottom is big. She's got a big bottom. The biggest bottom of any president who's ever been elected. Yeah.

Wow. These truly are unprecedented times. A president with a big bottom. A president with a large box. I think we haven't had that since Taft. No, we haven't. That's incredible. What if she has a stinger?

You know, like Michelle Obama. Because she does have a big bottom. You don't know what could be on that bottom. Yeah, that's a good point. It's true. It's true and it's scary. It's terrifying. It's fucking scary.

Honestly, that's why I like her because I'm a Halloween guy. Yeah. And what if we cut, what if in two years? What if in two years? A suit up top, B suit on the bottom. Oh, that's good. You're a big house. But what if in two years she has some kind of

Tim B? Tim B? Who the fuck is Tim B? Tim B. No, no, no. Tim B is actually, he's from Beezerbijan. So we're going to get into Beezer by John. Did you say Tim B? No, I said Queen B.

No, no, no. Next slide. There's already been one casualty in the insertion. Tim B. I said queen. But Tim B. I mean, he's just a resident of Besar Bajjan.

There's already been one casualty, though. Princess Beatrice of Beezerbaijan. No, no. Wait, how did the B? Oh. She was she the B? One stink.

No, she's a different B. Oh, can you move the picture? I can't read it. That's kind of impossible. I thought the slide was going to be not in dark mode. B. She said B.

B. But she was born in 1989 to her mother, Queen, Buzz, Andrea of the Democratic Republic of Honey and her father from Beezerbaijan Abbas Garayev she was actually at the actually trying

to storm the capital on some Jessa from girls type shit she was crazy y'all but she was sadly swatted away from by the crowd and this completely mirrors the the casualty that we saw on January 6th yeah Ashley Bebitt yeah yeah I don't think that was her name actually

no it's a different B and literally was actually Bibitt what you said he did didn't think that was her name actually. It is actually. Her name was actually. I wasn't saying actually, actually, actually, I was saying, like, it says it right there. Her name was actually. Her name was actually Bbit. No, it was Ashley Bibitt. This is from CNN. I'm reading it from C.Sys. Ashley Bibitt got swatted by a fly. Ashley Bitt was swatted by a fly swatter. That's what you think happened to that woman. Yeah. And not that she was shot trying to

this is a different. No, no, actually Babbitt's a different. She was shot. Oh, you were talking about Ashley Babbitt. Okay. I see where the B. I see. And I can understand why the human life would take precedent in the news over a B. No one's going to talk about a fucking B. I mean, now we are. Now we're going to talk about a B right now. Now we're going to talk about a B because this is

I mean, this is a political B. The most beautiful things about having a female president is we care about even the smallest life now. No longer will we have these news reports that are like 10,000 people died. Now it's like a small child skinned his knee. Exactly. And no longer and no longer will abortion be legal because it's all about

If it's bigger than a B, that's the new rule. If it's bigger than a B, that's a life for me. That's what the new slogan is. If it's buzzing. If it's buzzing, that life is a cousin. It's going to be a cousin. It's going to be a cousin. Let it out of there.

Next slide. Let it let it out of there. Instead of pro-life. I'm pro let it out of there. Yeah, just let it out. Just let it out. Trump's response to the insurrection and the death of Princess B. Beatrice Garayev was

Ooh, child, his tea is giving MAGA vibes. Really? Yeah, I just forgot to mention the buzzer beater makes you gay. Next slide. The buzzer beater makes you gay. The buzzer beater makes you gay. It's on BNM. That's the buzzer beater.

That's what the buzzer beater looks like. You said it was on BNN. It's on BN right now. It's a very trusted news story. Yeah, so I mean, it would be News Network. aka the hive The hive on B&N From the hive

I got it straight from the swords at the hive The K hive Yeah Holy fucking shit She's a literal B in actual life I told you guys I'm telling you guys right now Well you didn't say she was a B

Well this is mostly about a B right now We're going to get what I mean we're going to move forward But yeah Trump is now Yeah now that Kamala's prison We're going to move forward Thank God. Finally. I've been waiting to move forward

literally since the day I was born. Yeah, me too. When I was a baby, I refused to crawl because I said, I won't make any progress until this country does. I remember they wanted me

to crawl right or left first and I grew up right down the middle. They wanted me to crawl so bad. Yeah. I said, no, I'm not crawling. Yeah. Because I'm protesting the system

of directional. I said, what's the opposite of progress? Congress. Wow. God damn. Is that true? That's unfortunately

was true. Mm-hmm. Now, it's looking a little different. The opposite of progress is... Here I got one. Well, what's the opposite of the president? Well, now. Residents. Residence. Evil. No, no. I'm saying like, the president, no, not resident evil. I would say, wait, what does President evil smell? What's the opposite of President good? Yeah, what is President evil smell like? That's not a good bumper stick. What does President evil smell like? Scratch this and see.

No. No, I would say... say what does President Evil rhyme with? Resident Evil. I would say what's the opposite of President Good? Resident Evil. Resident Evil. Well, but I was saying like, what's the opposite of the president? The residents of the United States. Who will never run for president? They shouldn't care about this kind of thing.

Because there's zombies. No, you're getting confused. Resident evil. I think that both sides are right right now. This is not two different sides. We're on the same side. We're having a confusion. And what's the opposite of confusion? Confucius. Collusion.

Confucius was. very confused. He was opposite of confusion. No. Is he the reason that they was intellectual? Confusion? Yeah. He's the reason they say confusion. Yeah, not confusion though. Interesting. Is that that interesting? It's pretty interesting. Next slide.

It's pretty interesting. So this is what we know about Trump now. Trump is now a gay guy with a bug bite. This will change everything going forward in the future. I'd like to do a little bit of a Pinocchio session on you. Yeah. A beast. does not a bug bite make.

A bee sting is a bug bite. A bee sting. Oh, he bites you with his butt? It's a bug bite. It's a sting. It's a bee sting. It's separate from a bug bite. Well, I mean, I got this from BNN. You really trust BN. I trust BNNN's bias is coming through. BNNN's bias.

It's starting to show through a little bit. But this will change everything going forward in the future. However, we don't know if he is gay temporarily. This could just be a temporarily thing. temporary thing sources are saying this may make him sympathetic towards gay rights

causes others are saying if that bee tried that gay shit on me I would a euro stepped it into the ocean without traveling you would have dribbled the B yeah well I didn't say this B ball

this is a different source you would have played B ball I would have played this is not my quote you would have hit you would have hit the real you would hit the real buzzer I want to say this is not

I would never say that if a B tried some fruity ass shit on me you didn't even well you just said that that's not in the quote there's nothing about I would never say anything about that. You said the B tried that gay shit. That's the quote. No, that's a

fruity-ass shit. Okay, so who quote? You're a constituent. I'm not a constituent. I'm a reporter simply. Reporters are constituents. I'm a simple reporter. You think reporters are our outside of constituency? No. You're acting. They're well within the nestled in. The way you're acting right now is very Trumpian. No, it's not. You're looking, you're trying to You're trying to say that this is fake news. You're outside of the government. You're trying to say that this is fake news. I'm not, I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I I didn't say anything about fake news.

You guys think I'm acting like Kamala? I'm a girl. You need to chill out. What? You need to chill that. Yeah, her voice is a little deeper. Yeah. This is a good impression.

I like that. That sounds like a train. It didn't sound like a train. SpongeBob. That's how he fucking wakes up. Imagine waking up to that shit all every day. Yeah. Yeah.

Next slide. Kamala Harris what do we know woman Indian black two president it says bulk that's maybe a typo this result is apparently true apparently true it's apparently true next slide to

the result is apparently true and here's what we don't know about Kamala Harris okay what is going to happen to Christmas uh huh probably a war on it is the war going to continue is the war on Christmas going to continue I'm glad for the war on Christmas You like the war on a Democrat.

That's true. You are a Democrat. We are all Democrats. I forgot. I'm not a Democrat. You're a Democrat. But will this war on Christmas create a national divide?

Yeah. And I like that. I'm an Eminemocrat. Slim shady Marshall Mathers VP pick. Because I thought you were going to say something about candy. No, I'm a Democrat. I kind of like that. The Eminemocrat ticket with Slim Shady and Marshall Mathers.

And the red one and the yellow one? Yeah. That'd be a good ticket. Yeah. People get confused. I'd vote for that immediately. Yeah, for different reasons than I would. Maybe.

I would go for rap. You would go for food. Oh, yes, I would. Candy wrappers. Candy rappers, yeah. Let's make sense why they have the same name. Versus... Wait, because Eminem and Eminem's both have rappers.

That's true as far. Wow. You know, I like the... You just been spitting truth all day. That's why they're called that. You need to be careful about all these truths, okay. Why? Just be careful.

Okay. Because they'll kill you, man. They'll kill you. And here's another thing we don't know about Kamala. We're going to die. Is she like a feminist or something? Or can she bro down? Does she drink high life?

We don't know. Is she a femist? Is she a femist? See, okay, I'm getting this from BNN. Okay, they don't have, they're small, they have to jump on every single key of the keyboard. You don't know how to edit, you put, if they misspell it, you put it in parentheses. These are direct pull quotes. Okay, well, maybe I didn't take, I only took like a 30 minute class on journalism before this.

Okay. Before I had to type all this. One class. One class, yeah. University of Phoenix, Arizona. one single, well, that's a real, probably a real. Benix? No, that's a different university.

You're thinking of a different one. That's in B World. Oh, okay. Because it seems like you went there. When did she even get born? And what is her husband doing? Her husband, Tim B. Tim B.

Is walking around, and he's well stung, by the way. He's got a fucking stinger on him. Okay. That must have been his, he's stung like a wasp. Yeah, he's walking around with his well-stung. stinger thinking about all the places to lay some stinger. Lay some hidehouse.

Lays some venom. Give some fives. That's right. You imagine fucking a B? A big B? Yeah, I can imagine it every one. A big B no Mordecai? Wow.

Oh, wow, I just go. Well, that's Rigby though. Yeah, that's a rigby. Imagine fucking a rigby. Big B no Nets to class of it. I knew someone was named Big B. Exactly. I'd rather not

Fuck Ned's declassified No Those are kids No I mean they grew up But still no No I'd rather not This is Doug Mhoff

I guess his old name was Tim B That was his old name Yeah His new name is Doug Mhoff To appeal to voters Yeah Yeah yeah yeah He's the first first husband

What will he do Will he do what Michelle Obama did To school lunch Will he do what I would say We're gonna see The male version of that

Yeah. You know, we're going to see... Are the male version of Michelle Obama? Well, we already had that. We're going to see a... You chill right now. We're being Democrats right now. We're going to see Tokyo-style vending machines

in every single classroom. Oh, okay. Where you can get noodles and hamburgers in a box made by a vending machine. And panties worn by real women. Yes, in every single... We'll say college for that one. Oh, but the food is going in the kids' schools.

Well, that's good. If food is going in the kids' schools, that's good. Same question, can he bro-down high life, or is he one of these guys that drinks White Claw, valid? You think that's valid? Yeah. Okay. Good and free. GF options for this guy.

GF options for different people. And why didn't he just run instead of his wife? That's weird. That's what I always wondered about this fucking guy. Why are you, why is your wife running and not you? Yeah. That's what I've been thinking. This guy looks like the president to me.

Yeah. I thought he was. He looks like Bill O'Reilly. When they said Kamala Harris. Iris one. I looked at him and I said, that's an interesting name for a man. Yeah. You guys did it. Wow. Mine meld. First one. No, we've done it ever. You've done it a lot. Not any memorable ones that I can get about. Yeah, not a memorable ones. I already forgot what you guys said. Me too. You know why? Because that's everyday, bro, with me and him. But I mean, look at this guy. Oh, and then this happened.

Oh, shady sands public library was demolished. Yeah. Well, next slide. This happened because it was actually from a truth bomb. This is why I was telling you to be careful. 19-year-old Diedrich Pepper said both sides of this fucking same. So many times it actually caused Seabrook Station nuclear power plant in New Hampshire to implode upon itself. All of New Hampshire and the surrounding areas are gone. But who cares about this? We'll see what happens. I'm sorry.

Yeah, today's about celebrating Kamala. Yeah, today's about celebrating Kamala. My whole family is dead. And everybody that I knew from school and, you know, people I went to. everyone's gone yeah they're all wiped out off the but um K-Hive

K-Hive is back B-N-N-N-Hive rise up K-Hive B-S-A B-S-A B-S-A B-S-A this is actually making me feel a lot better

really? Yeah this is making me feel so much better because even though because all of New England is gone we still we still did it yeah that's right We still did it, Joe.

We did it. We did it, Joe. So that's my report on what we know. What we know. At this exact point in time. Yeah. All right. Well, that's probably going to do it for...

No, we could do 10 more seconds. A minute and a minute and 10 more seconds. A minute and 10 more seconds, you say. Well, what do you guys most excited for the Kamala world? Let me... I need a minute to think. Beezer-Bijan. Bezzer-Bijan is going.

Regime change is going to be. great, I think. Yeah, I think that it's not going to be exactly, we're not putting the right B up there. Yeah, well, we're probably going to put a human dress in a B costume up. Tim B. Maybe Tim B's a real B. Yeah, no, Tim B is Tim B. Yeah, but there's probably a lot of guys

named Tim B. Yeah, look him up right now. Look up Tim B. Let's see you, Tim Burton. Let's see a Tim Tim Burton. Wait, Tim Burton is so B style, though, for real. Imagine if Tim Burton Oh, they're saying, he's a senator. A Republican. Timothy S.B. Look at that face, man. He's going to Beezer by Sean.

He's going to the home. What are the fucking odds that Tim B is a senator? Who looks, I would say, be. He does look like a bee. I can see a stinger on him. Timothy S.B. Wow. That's unbelievable.

And he's on Buzz Tucson. Wow. All right. Yeah. Well, that's the report for the day. Enjoy. Don't watch anything else. Yeah.

We're going to include them just in case, but don't do that. And rest in peace to all of those lives lost in New Hampshire. Do all those in Buzz, Buzz, Buzz, Bees, and Bees are by John. And Beeser by John. Yeah. Yeah. Which had been destroyed. Be mollished, completely.

Completely be mullished. Yeah. Bull buzzed. Yep. Donald Trump has won. Donald Trump is now the president. Congratulations to Donald Trump. Congratulations, Mr. T.

Mr. T. We were voting for you the whole time. Yeah, the whole time. I thought you could manage this one. Without your vote? Without my vote. No, I just assumed you would win. Yeah.

I knew this was going to come. You know what? I knew as soon as you got the Kill Tony Comedy Mothership crowd involved. Yes. Once you got that David Luce. That David Lucas endorses the silent majority. The silent majority of Kill Tony fans that have, some would say, plagued this nation.

Once they rise up, there is no great blue wall that can stop them from taking over. No, no, no. Okay. Kill Tony fans are embedded into every single layer of government at every single level. Okay, there are Kill Tony fans. And many of them have layers. Yeah. They do have layers. Yeah.

They will go beyond Man Cave. They have full layers that their families do not know about. They have a kill Tony layer that you go into and you watch episodes live. There's a book. There's a book on their shelf and you know what book it is. What is it? It's the, consider the lobster or what's that one? Consider the lobster is David Foster Wallace, not Jordan Peterson.

What's he talking about lobsters for? It's that Jordan Peterson book. You pull that one from the shelf. Door slides open. They got a whole layers and goes down the stairs, secret book. They go down the stairs. Sanktum. Back cave.

Tony Sanctum. The 17 different screens. The Tonitorium. They're watching new Kill Tony guys that open mics that are going up. Yeah, they're looking for guys. They're scouting. You should go on Kilken. A guy with like, he's red in the face.

His arms are like puffy and he's just like, dude, you should go on Kill Tony after he's like does a one minute bomb. Stocking people. He has a full dark night. Like the equalizer. Yeah. And then just walking on being like, hey man, you're really funny. You should do Kill Tony. He gives him a card, a card that he's taking on the disguise, it disappears until, like, smoke.

It says YouTube.com slash kiltony. YouTube.com slash kilton. It blows up like in the Incredibles. There should be an ARG to select Kill Tony fans, like Cicada 3301. That would be amazing. That's what we should get only the smartest, most funny, genius roasters on Kill Tony. And we should select them through, or maybe a Willie Wonka thing. We should genetically create Killtone.

We should be breeding the next generation of Kill Tony guests. Oh, we are. We should be actively doing it. We should be like genome sequencing. You want a more active role in it? I literally have 30 gallons of Lewis Black's semen in my fridge that I'm waiting for the perfect funny lady to impregnant with. I have so many like there's David Lucas clones is in my home right now. Yeah, and it's filling up quick.

It's filling up crazy. He's big. Yeah. Big and fat. but they're small but they're small they're just small they're just mini church

they're minis right now they're gonna grow you got I think this is the reason that you guys clones are failing is that you're adding in you are using

female DNA well I just have a bunch of stupid waiting for funny women I'm combining I'm combining men's DNA with other men's DNA and this is creating basically the

the next breed of Kill Tony style my mistake too is I'm you know me I'm at home I'm watching Dr. Stephen Bruel Tom

yeah Dude, you're just too alternative. Yeah. You know. Shoveling it in. Yeah. And then they're watching it. You know, they walk in there like, who's that?

I'm like, that's Ken Marino. He puts his balls in it. And now they're getting all this alt comedy stuff in their ways. Oh, man. So all my clones have been put down. When you've used, they get put down. You can't be showing the state. When you have a big jug of Dane Cook's sperm and you've used about half of it to make

clones and you look, you get to you're like, there's only, only there's only half left. I don't even need to get a bowl to eat this. I'm going to straight out of the carton. Yeah. That's right. I'm been putting it on. When you get, when you hit that mark, it's like, fuck, might as well eat the rest. I've been frosted pastries with it. Don't have to wash a dish. Yeah. Dan Cook has some sweet nut. Yeah. I've been frosting a lot of pastries with it. It's kind of like, I mean, I was like, yeah, I'll use it for cloning, but you know, like, yeah. We know why we're really buying it. Yeah. And we're buying it. Yeah. What are they putting almond extract in that? It's so amazing. It's delicious. It's

It's so good. Yeah. But congratulations, D.T. D.T. Donald. Congrats, man. D.J. Trump. And you did everything right, man.

Mm-hmm. You played it to the T. To the T. The T for Trump. And now we can finally watch that movie that we've been not trying to watch because we didn't want to mess up the whole election.

Which movie? The Butterfly Effect? The Apprentice. Oh, yeah. I thought you were saying, like, if we did one thing, it would mess up the future. What was the butterfly effect?

What was the butterfly effect that created Donald Trump? I think it was born. If I go back in time, I'd make you twin. Me, a twin? I'd pretend. You'd give me a twin or wait, what do you mean? I would climb into your mom. Okay.

And I would pop out at the same time so that there was two of you. They'd say this is odd and adult. I would shrink myself. A small adult. But I'd leave my penis the same size so that you always felt bad about yourself as the twin with the little or weenie. Okay. Wait, so you shrink to the size of a baby? Trump into twins?

What? what is this doing because it well if the butterfly fact i would be basically even more of the same right so two trumps well or a bigger one same amount one how does this come out of camera's mom well he said that it was a butterfly you know maybe i don't understand the butterfly fact that well is it you break something a butterfly flaps its wings in uh pick a country biser by john and bieser by jean well butterfly wouldn't be in biser by jean well butterfly wouldn't be in biser by jean So that's completely... They're out.

No, because of the war. Flaps its wings in South America and there's a... Or in Europe and there's a hurricane in South America. Yeah. We, does that mean... You know what that tells me is we need to destroy every butterfly on planet Earth. This is the plot of an episode of the Shivering Truth. Oh, yeah.

Is it? Yeah, that's a funny episode. It's a good one. Shivering truth is great. Unluckily, it's been outlawed. Thank God. Thank God has been outlawed by Donald Trump. All alternative comedy stuff.

He's gone. Get it out of here. Remember that? Get it out of here. Get out of here. Get that, fuck. Get J. Y.

Garden out of here. Get him out. Matthew Golden, we're going to kill you. Get him out of here. Get that absurdest. Get that absurd crap out of here. We're going to put a bomb

in the McSweeney's building. Get that Zumer Dadaism out of here. Stop deep frying it. Probably likes that. We're going to destroy. Old-fashioned roast. We're destroying Bapa Shans. We're getting

rid of that image. As long as they don't get rid of Poot. No, Poot Levado. We keep Poot Levado is now, is old head. Yeah. Yeah. Poot Levado is old head material. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. It is crazy. Isn't that? Because I remember when we were coming up, we're like, Poot Lovato, this is cutting out. This is funny as fuck. This is the next big thing.

Yeah. And we've been doing a lot of Poot Lovato shit for the last, you know, five or six years. Yeah. My wife was watching that, did you guys see this documentary that Demi Lovato made about child stars, and I was asking a lot of times where Poot Lovato is. She didn't find that so funny. It's mostly about child abuse, this documentary. Well, Poot Lovato.

When are they going to get to Poot's story? Poo was the biter running around biting all them kids. Well, because it was Demi during the day and Pooke during night, right? It was like a Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde thing, where at night she became the funniest picture ever. It is funny that, like, you're a celebrity, and you get one picture taken of you

that's so ugly that your fans are like this is your poop you are put, yeah and we're gonna make it you have an ugly twin named poop I've never listened to a single song

she ever made yeah yeah I mostly think of her as someone who makes documentaries about child abuse the documentarian Demi Lavato she there's that picture

and then for some reason people post this picture of Emma Roberts where she's wearing a shirt like a black long dress is what it's called people post that one all the time.

A picture of Emma Robert's all the time? Maybe you fundamentally misunderstand Poot Lovato. Yeah, if you think that those pictures are posted for the same reasons. Because I know the picture you're talking about. I know what you're talking about. It's certainly an object of sexual desire. That's a sexual one?

Yeah. It shows her boobs and butt. It shows her boobs in her front tummy. You thought people were making fun of her? I thought she was getting clowned on. You thought she was getting clowned on for that? Yeah. Or did you feel, or are you hiding the fact that you find Poot to be the most

attractive celebrity? You like Poot. You think Poot is a good photo. Poot? You got my info. At Lunch Enjoyer on Twitter. So this is Poolevado. Instagram.

Ooh. Everything you need to know about Pooke. What is this Yahoo thing? Stop trying to make Poot. It already is a thing. Stop trying to make Poolevado happen. You're years late. Your years late, Yahoo.

Poot, man. There was a time... I heard Poolevado's going to get a cabinet seat. And you know what? I wouldn't be surprised. Poot happened during the first Trump presidency, right? Is that true? I thought it was older than that.

Is it? I think it's the first... Pull up the know-your meme. Pull up the know-your meme right now. I'm pretty sure this is the first Trump presidency, the Poot Lovato. It was before. It was before.

I'm getting my time. Nine years ago. Holy fuck. when your girlfriend was crying because of Trump being president and you showed her poot on your phone? That shit was... She said that's from a year ago. I don't find that funny anymore.

It's already old. I hope nobody talks about this in nine years. November 2050, this is from exactly a year ago. Yeah. Oh, wow. Thank you for reminding me. This was exactly a year ago. What is the modern...

This is old head shit. Yeah. What is the modern version of something like this? Do we have a poop? What do we have right now? We have nothing. No. We haven't fucking nothing.

But now that DJT is president again. What? The damn hippo and the fucking fat kid? That's what we have now. Rizzler. Yes. Chill on him. Why?

He's just a kid. He is fat. He's not fat. He's just a kid. He's fucking huge. We'll figure, we'll decide if he's fat when he gets a little older. He's the biggest,

fattest kid I've ever seen. He probably weighs like 150 pounds. That's less than me. Yeah. How's he gonna be fat? He's like nine years old. He shouldn't weigh that much. He's nine years old.

Once he turns 11, then you can call him fat. Yeah, wait to call him. He has a crisis of fatness. He's not fat. He's disgusting. fat. No, he's not fat. He needs to be

like hospitalized. He's on Ozzy. He's literally the size of a blueberry. No. A G. Yeah, from Willy Wonka. No, no, no.

He's not the size of a blueberry. Oh, real thin. He's real thin. You don't know. Blueberries are thin. You're thinking of a twizzler. Blueberry twisler.

That sounds pretty good. That's actually a blueberry though is very thin comparatively to most people. Yeah, that's a thin. It's a thin. Except for in comparison to its height and its size. Yeah, if you made it to a blueberry.

To a person, though, it's really thin. If you scale. If you scaled up a blueberry to like your height and weight. And with that same thinness, that would be really like that. That would be really. It would look like me? Because you have a blue shirt. I'm not that blue.

You are. I'm not that blue. It's interesting you would pick today to make this argument. Why? Because you have a blue shirt on and not just a blue shirt, a two-toned blue shirt on. And don't even tell me that this is because you're a Democrat. It's so obvious. And a blue water bottle.

You literally went full blue on the election, the live coverage election. My wife just bought a new, a new water bottle. bottle from did you get a hand me down from the dollar from the dollar store

and it says it says in big cursive letters on the side it says splash lavish

hydration oh wow that's good that is good lavish hydration I like that making me laugh

I'm interested in lavish hydration that's a good that's a good style of hydration for sure

I think it's a little much I prefer kind of mundane banal hydration yeah you don't like the lavish

no down to earth salt the earth style hydration. I don't collegiate font on the side, banal hydration. That would be honest, you would sell a million copies of that water bottle if you did that.

Just plain old water. So Donald Trump is the president. I want to dig into what happened a little bit and I'm going to need y'all's help, okay? So go over to the Trump wins slides. So Donald Trump wins presidential election. Why does this always happen to our slides, it just gets reversed?

Why does all of the colors on our slides get reversed and become? It's because the computer is on. dark mode. It needs to be on light mode. The computer should go on to light modes. Yeah. No, that's okay. But we don't, not right now. I can read it. It says presidential election. We'll do it later. All right. So everybody's asking the same question with any sort of election like this. So go next. And that is what swung it. Okay.

So the answer is the voters. The voters swung this election. Yeah. Thank you voters. This one was all of the voters. So we're going to do a little bit. So I'm going to do a little bit. I want Cameron to read. These are some people I interviewed. Okay. This is Rain, 21 years old from Iowa. Sure.

So you'll just read this. I'm Rain, and I cast my vote for Donald J. Trump. Under Trump, I was allowed to look at any website I wanted to. Really interesting websites that had interesting content. Nobody cared that I looked at them. Interesting images as well, stuff that if Kamala were to become the president, I probably wouldn't be able to look at them anymore. So, yeah, for me, this election came down to websites.

Follow me at at really great website to learn more. So this is just a little bit of a slight. of Trumpdom. This is a little... Thank you, Rain, for sharing your story. Thank you, Cam, for reading. So, Patrick, you can read the next one for you. Okay, I'll read the next one.

For me, this whole thing was basically... Well, this is Patrick D. 27. For me, this whole thing was basically a giant douche versus a turd sandwich, and who the hell wants to eat turds? So I went for the giant douche. Now, don't get me wrong. I hate the giant douche.

Who the hell wants to eat a giant douche? But next to a turd sandwich, a giant douche doesn't sound bad to eat a douche is made out of rubber so it wouldn't taste good but it also wouldn't make you sick as long as it's clean the fact that it's giant isn't that crazy because if you see in the episode the turd sandwich is also pretty giant probably over 100 pounds of turds in the sandwich over a long enough period you could eat the douche without really noticing you could take it like a vitamin but eating a giant turd sandwich it would take just as long and you'd be eating mostly turds until you got to the

lettuce and the bread, which by that point would have had an old turd stuck on them because they've been in the sandwich for so long. And I see a dot, dot, dot, dot. Like, this was not the full quote. I assume this is just an excerpt. Yeah, we'll go next. Most of the weight of the giant douche would probably be the water. I'm assuming it's filled with water and not something nasty like piss.

But even I'd rather drink 100 pounds of piss than eat 100 pounds of turds. I know because before I voted. I bought a Summer's Eve douche and made a small version of a turd sandwich just to make sure I was making the right decision. It was like a pole. I only took two bites of the turd sandwich but I ended up polishing off the douche.

Then in my head I was like, okay, so the douche is definitely better but then I thought the size might be a factor in the decision so I made another bigger version of both. That time the turd sandwich was a little bit better because the crap I put in was only like 90% rubber from the... the douche I had eaten earlier, I ended up eating about half of the medium-sized turd sandwich,

but then I got to the medium-sized douche, and it was honestly, it blew me away, eating the turd sandwich. After eating the turd sandwich. Yeah. So next. So I kept making different-sized versions of the douche and turd sandwich and eating them. The douche won nine out of ten times during my experiments. Every once in a while, the turd sandwich would end up. end up winning just because I was so sick of eating giant rubber duches.

That's how I knew the race was close. When I went to go vote, I brought a bite of each so I could try them in the polling booth to make my final decision easier. Big surprise, the duch won again. In fact, I would say I developed a little bit of a taste for the duch, and I might keep eating them even after the election is decided just once in a while, not super often. The turd sandwich is more like a once in every four years kind of thing for me. So dush wins.

Also, these Mexicans have to go like now. And if I could plug something, I would like you to go buy my book here. Let me click on that link. I want to see this book. This is a book by this guy, Patrick D. That he sent me this. This is a book. It's called I'll Try the Posse by Patrick Doran.

And the description is, a middle-aged man recalls growing up as a geek, but is now able to laugh about it through his tears. Let me see more about the author here. Or we could read a little Sam. I didn't even think about that, but we can... Let's sample the book on the left. I'll read for free. No, you want to go back.

You want to read sample on the left. Okay. So you could just read this too, I guess. I'll try the possum by Patrick Doran. Oh, it's completely... This is for Ralph. Okay. So the entire thing is for Ralph.

I had it great for the first three and a half years of my life. Jesus Christ, what are you doing? I had it grace for the first three and a half years of my life when my three older sisters carried me around and fed me and played with me and dotted noted on me relieving my poor mom of much of the care of her sixth child in less than

eight years. Mom was exhausted but my sisters had the energy and desire to make me their little boy toy. They dressed me their own real live baby doll. Although I've seen the pictures and the word

doll doesn't really apply. But I'm told I was a happy little thing. They'd put me in my crib and proceed to tickle me for hours. This counted as entertainment in our household. My mom said it was so cute. You would

laugh and laugh and laugh. You'd never stopped. The other kids even lined up and took turn. We're talking the aforementioned sisters as well as two brothers, five little kids under the age of Wait, tickling the new baby relentlessly.

What the fuck is? What's the fuck? I didn't read it. Oh, no, you're dead and I got the biggest kick out of it. Now granted, every time you left, you'd pee a little bit. We really went through the diapers. Well, that explains a couple of things. One being the fact that I still pee a bit when I laugh really hard,

which I think is called incontinence. At my age, time to start practicing my kegles. And the other thing being the fact that I'll never, I've never really been able to enjoy massages. Because when I get in the vicinity of my stomach or armpits, I begin to tense up. And when they actually touch these areas, I break into giggles like a Japanese schoolgirl. And the mood is just plain ruined. Plus, I still have to pay full price, even though there was a great big area that had to go unruped by neck and waist.

What a shame. And what a waste of money. It's not like I could say, could you just rub my feet for like 45 minutes without sounding like a weirdo? So I just never get my son. I hear my like to thank

my siblings for this tactile pleasure. I've never been able to enjoy all these years all my life. This is crazy. Wow. So this is only $2.99. Yeah. I didn't realize that you wrote a book.

You must be making a killing on this. These are some of the best opening paragraphs I've ever read. I know. You were tickled for an hour. Your siblings ran a tickle train on you for hours. And this is for Ralph, too.

And it's dedicated to my friend. Dedicated to Ralph. I want to read this whole book. You should read this entire book. You should do an audio book of it. You should contact it. Yeah, I should do it. And say, what's up, man?

We got the same name. We should do an interview. Let's do, let's talk about our name. Doran on Doran. Dorn on Doran. Damn, that's good as fuck. All right. Let's see the other voters here.

I mean, we could. Well, no, that was pretty much it. That was the whole thing? Yeah, pretty much. And congratulations, Donald Trump, guys. And no, uh, big. Thanks to the voters that I talked to. What do you guys think is it going to change in this country?

Now that we got Trump back. Well, I mean, there's already an immediate change. I mean, I'm now going to read an audio book. Yeah, that's true. He learned about that one of the great jobs. Yeah, already creating a job. There's already a job created. Or in fact, yeah, you know what is?

You know what you're right? What's a better, this is a better question? What has changed since yesterday on Tuesday when nothing happened versus today on Wednesday when all the results have been revealed as Trump winning? I grew a half inch, swear to God. For real. Woke up half inch taller. Wow.

Thank you Donald Trump for this. I had a breakfast. Really? Live leak is back. Live leak is back. Gawker is gone forever. Gawker is gone forever. Thank God.

Thank you, Peter. Pretty much any journalist is dead. Yes. Thank you for that. Yeah. Just good. I like that. Yeah, I like everything.

Yeah, I like everything. I like all. So it's hard for me to complain about really anything. You know what? This is kind of off topic. but it's something I just thought of. A tip for anybody out there who's socially awkward like me. Just if you're at a party, someone asks,

what's your favorite movie, what's your favorite song, what's your favorite book, you don't know what to say, say, I like everything. Easy. That's the conversation started. That's right. You know what's a better question? What's a better question?

What do you hate? That's a good question. I'd say I don't hate anything. I like it all. Again, great conversation started. People are going to be so fascinated by you. These topics would not even been brought up if this man did not win. Right.

Trump is basically making us introverts. giving us the tools we need to get out there and make a splash. Yes, at the pool. And I heard, I heard back in the day, Trump was shy. Is that so? Shy to shot. That's what happened with him.

He was so shy for so many years, then he gets a hot one through the ear and he goes, I'm not shy. I just became feeling himself. I just became confident for the first time of my life. I had a brush with death. And now every time I walk into the function, And there's a couple of people around the keg.

I have no problem walking in, grabbing a cup and getting myself a glass. And in fact, if somebody spills something on me, I always have something witty to say back. Yeah. Like, oh, thanks, forgot to take a shower today. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'll save that for later and then start licking my shirt. Yeah.

Or I'll save, I'm saving this for later or why not right now? And so sucking it out of your shirt. Confidence. That's what Donald Trump exudes. Sucking drinks out of your shirt is a good party trick. Dipping your sleeve. Everyone can do it. Not everyone knows that you can do it.

And if you get the stain out, when you suck, but if you dip your sleeve into the... Red line stains, suck the whole thing out. Dip your sleeve into the jungle juice, and then you walk around the entire night, sucking on your long sleeve. Yeah. And people go like, oh, it's a shy nerd.

I'm actually having jungle juice out of my sleeve. And now that I have this alcohol in me, I'm mad confident. I'm going to break the table in half. That's right. And I'm going to take my entire shirt off and suck it out of the entire shirt. This is flying elbow from underneath the table.

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, people are just sitting there, just enjoying, playing chess. And then the table jumps up. Hide under the table. Yeah, all night, alcohol wears off. Life of the party. And you're saying, you're showing I'm confident even without the aid of performance-enhancing drugs. That's right.

And also, fashion is a huge part of confidence. Put one of those fake pregnancy bellies if you're a man and walk into the party and tell me people don't want to talk to you. Yep. They're going to say, oh, how far along are you? A hundred months. 100 months say I got here about 10 minutes ago also what are you talking to do fun party trick say

oh oh it's my baby's umbilical cord right it's your penis yeah show your penis at the party you pull it out it's not a pregnancy belly it's been hollowed out there's a bag of wine in there oh franzia franzia wine franzia and the camel back camel front the camel front and honestly I don't mind the tariffs that much

the tariffs I don't know what that is yeah and we you know you know, I'm fine with... Is that a guy? Tariff? Tariff. Terriff. You think of Terrence.

Terrence? Yeah. No. You think Terrence. Terrence Howard. I mean, let's not... I mean, I'm fine with him. Yeah, we're not even talking about him.

Terrence Howard should be in the cabinet. Department of math. Department of... I think he should be in the cabinet and lock the cabinet. You really want to kill him. Jesus. He's not going to kill somebody to lock them in a cabinet. I mean, well, what about eventually?

You know, it doesn't have to die to be in a cabinet. You can die during eventually. You could die anytime. Yeah, so what if he dies? Death could come for you at any moment. Not right now. It's not my... If I lock someone in a cabinet and they die like 30 seconds later, that is not my fault.

They were going to die. If I lock him to a cabinet, leave them in there for like a couple weeks and they're dead. That's on me. What if they have a wood allergy? A wood allergy? I never said it was a wood in cabinet. Or whatever the material is. Find metal.

If they were allergic to all materials. If it's metal, isn't it a locker? I think it can still be a cabinet. And then you're a bully if you put somebody in a locker. Yeah. Bully. If you're a, well, you're a little. bully if you shove someone into a locker, but

if you put them in a locker and lock it, you are an experimenter. No, you're not a scientist just because you put someone in a locker. It's the law. It's, well, anyway, I'm going to try to talk. I guess I wouldn't be using a locker anyway. I want to use a cabinet. Yeah, so he's allergic to wood and you have just been convicted of first degree homicide. If he hears the thing, though, is everything

around his wood. So if he's allergic to wood, I'm already going to know that. Everything around is wood. Because I'm in my wooden room. Okay, so you've already killed him. Oh, you've got a mahogany room. You put his dead body. If someone comes into your house and they're allergic to your house, it's not your fault. It absolutely is. It is absolutely not.

He's got, what if he has a document? If he told me, if he told me, okay, yeah, he told you. Okay, then I wouldn't bring him in. Or actually, what if he doesn't know? Because it's like, it's same as bee stings. The first time, it's the second time he touched wood. Can you be allergic to wood? He is.

Or in this scenario, he is. Yeah, but is this actually. Is Terence Howard allergic to wood? Let's see. I don't know, man. I honestly, that came into my brain in a way, so fast that it makes me think it's something I know about. Yeah, it's got to be true. is a terrorist Howard has a

deafly allergy to touching anyway Trump's going to pardon me because I voted for him yeah damn he has a list he has a list of everybody who voted for him he's checking him twice

he pardons he's gonna give him 10 free pardons 10 yeah oh well I know you're upset because you voted for Kamala yeah I didn't vote you didn't vote

you didn't vote that's a vote for Kamala bro yeah really yeah you got to get out there and vote yeah they count laziness we're voting for the lesser

laziness is always a vote for the we're voting for the lesser of two evils. Okay, I don't want to vote, but I'm going to get out there and vote for Trump because I'm trying to reduce the harm. All right. Harm reduction. Not, again, not voting. That's a vote for the Democrats. Okay. What about

if I go in and I, again, write in Slim Shady and Marshall Mathers? So Trump is not going to pardon you, but I heard that basically Slim Shady and Marshall Mathers are running a campaign where they, every write-in vote they get, they will put your name into one of their songs, like it's a Patreon credit.

Are you fucking for real? I am for real. Yeah, that's a That's all you got. How, what would you even rhyme with Caleb Pitts? Spray that shit. Spray that shit. Like a skunk. I spray that shit. Gay than shit.

I'm gay and then I shit. Gay than shit. I would have not have voted for him if I knew. This one's for you, Caleb Pitts, you're gayer than shit. No, that's not if I would spray like a bitch. I would not be my, I wouldn't have voted for him. I would not be my me. I would not have be my meat.

I would not be my meat if I knew that, that they were going to do. I wouldn't have voted for them. So that was a big mistake. You, yeah, I mean, it's over now. Yeah, it's over. All right, Donald Trump is the president. Congratulations to Donald Trump. Yeah, thanks, Don.

Thank you for everything that you've been the president of, including the United States. So, good night, and it's a new day in America. What do they say? Donald Trump is president. President. President tomorrow. President tomorrow. And forever, or four years.

And for four years more. Four years. Good night. It's a tie. It's a tie. Congratulations to both people. Yeah. It was a tie.

This was honestly unprecedented. So before you basically say any information, I'll just teach you guys the information. Tell us. I've been completely. I know you guys have been sequestered. Yeah. Everything closed off. So, guys, it was a tie.

And we actually did, we did predict it was going to be a tie. We did. If we can just go right into the first slide here. This was our projected election results. We were running some polls. We projected a perfect tie with the left side of the country swinging blue, left wing, and the right side swinging right wing. Right down the middle.

Right down the middle. And left down the middle. A red New Hampshire that hasn't happened in a couple of years. Yeah. And we thought that this, and we'll see a mostly blue Texas as well. And a little tiny corner of North Dakota that ended up going around. Just the tiniest bit. But this was our projected result.

but it was actually surprising what happened and this I think is a no-brainer you know left left yeah right right but what actually happened was a little different so let's look at the actual election results interesting California we were wrong in multiple ways

we predicted the left side of the country is going to go for Kamala the right side of the country is going to go for Donald Trump not only did we get the colors mixed up but the candidates were also completely wrong really yeah can we show here The results, this was, the left side of the country actually all voted they wrote in Mrs. Red. For the Apple Party. For the Apple Party.

And the right side all voted for Mr. Blue of the Water Drop Party. And Kamala and Donald Trump actually each got zero votes. Wow. So this was a massive right-in campaign. Mrs. Red and Mr. Blue, they each got 100 electoral votes. As we know, it's 101 to win. Yeah. So it's a tie, yeah.

It's a tie. Interesting tie, too. The water drop party, I heard rumblings about the water drop party. You heard, I heard, I heard kind of drippings. Ripples, I meant to say. I heard a lot of ripplings about the water drop party. Yeah, and I heard a lot of crisp crunches. Yeah, the, amazing crisp crunches.

Yeah, the apple party fell on top of my head. It fell on your head. What do you fell on my head? The party was sitting under a tree. A party tree, a tree, shut up. Like Newton. there's going to be a new town now that these two are in office

really? Yeah, they're going to make a new town. Let's go next slide. Purple Village. My thing. So this is Mrs. Red from the Apple Party. Let's just go through the candidates and talk about their waveforms. This is clearly DEI to me. God damn, though. You can't you can't DEN Y that

we'll go through and read some of their policies okay. Again, these, they tied. Neither of these are the president right now, but these are what we could have had. Mrs. Red supports snack time in schools. She says sweet behavior will be legally protected. She is pro music. She says military spending must double. Okay. One public execution per day. Two men should not be allowed to get married. Women are machines that you put

kindness coins into until sex falls out. Okay. She's pro apples, but anti-water droplets. And that's, that's Mrs. Red's platform. I don't know, how do you guys feel? I'm curious how you feel about Mrs. Redd. I would say support snack time in schools. That's a no-brainer. We've been lobbying for that forever. Sweet behavior will be legally protected.

It depends on how you define sweetness. Sure. I think that the Supreme Court's supposed to do a ruling on that pretty soon. Pro music. I'm fine with, I'm also pro music. Military spending. Yeah, boy, I don't know what the next two even mean. Two men should not be allowed to get married.

I agree because I think that they should be getting gay married as a separate kind of thing. Women are machines, yes. Pro Apples. I like apples. The only problem I have here, honestly, is anti-water drama. Yeah, me too. I mean, the thing about her, and it's true with every single

American politician, you can't always get what you want. There's some things that I don't agree with, but I agree with one public execution and women are machines, but everything else I don't agree with. Oh, pro-music. Oh, and also, I would really like if she would specify on the kindness coins, if that's something we have

to earn ourselves or if there's going to be kind of a... If you just get them. Does that happen when you make dinner or is making dinner an obligation? Yeah. Yeah. So I think that that, if she was president, I might find out more about that. I just want the details of that plan. Maybe this is why she couldn't, you know, push it over the edge.

It's true. But let's take a look at Mr. Blue. This is Mr. Blue of the water drop party. And let's take a look at his platform, some of his policies. Okay. Snack time is for the home, not schools. Okay? Snack should be at home.

It's okay to ask. sour once in a while. Mr. Blue is pro dancing. Mr. Blue says military spending must double one public execution per day. Two men should not be allowed to get married. Women are machines for producing children. Mr. Blue is anti-apples, but pro-water droplets. And Mr. Blue has a questionable birth certificate. I don't know if he is in America. I just based on his outfit, he's like he's not American. He's part green, it looks like to me. Was that what That's his clothing. Oh, interesting.

He ran on the riverbed. Oh, okay. So one thing I like about this platform is that with the women are machines thing, there's no fucking kindness coins. You know, we're not introducing an extra layer, extra step of bureaucracy between us and producing a child. You're not concerned with the economy. Yeah, exactly. Because kindness coins are important, I think. I think that that's a very important thing to implement.

Okay, so this is a clear red versus blue. kind of disagreement we are. Starting to see who you guys each rode in. Yeah, well, he went all the way. You flew to California just to write in the vote. And I just stayed here in good old New York City. Yeah. That's where I'm registered to vote. I have to do it there. Yeah, he was born

in California. Yeah. Always got it now. You're a Chico. Yeah, I'm from Chico. You're from Chico? Yeah. California. Wow. I didn't even know that. So, and you have to vote where you're born, by the way. Yeah. But I know what people are asking. This is a perfect tie between

Mrs. Red and Mr. Blue, but Trump and Kamala didn't get a single vote. What happened to Trump and Kamala? Well, we have from the news some information about what's been going on with them, and what happened after they, sadly, did not receive any votes. So Kamala Harris has returned to her family's homestead farm in the prairies of

Black Hawk, Nebraska, to help her grandfather, old man Harris tend to their dairy cows in clear land to plant corn, potatoes, turnips, squash, and beans. Why didn't she run on that? She should have ran on the beans and corn party. I don't think that exists. There's no such thing as a beans and corn party.

Are you crazy? She got a made up the beans and corn party. If she said ridiculous. If she said everyone has to plant beans and corn

all day with old man Harris, I would have voted for her. You think people would have voted for if she said everyone has to plant beans and corn.

I don't think. Yeah. You know, I respect the fact that she decided to just go back home. You know what I mean? Leave all this

the D.C. fucking hubbub behind you. Which one is her her grandfather? That's her grandfather right there. The man.

Yeah, you really think that she could be related to a horse. Well, no, there's another man in the back. No, that's her. No, no, behind right there. Yeah, that's her.

It's a painting. Those are two birds. Well, who's that? All right. And then Donald Trump, Donald Trump retired to New Mexico, where he is attempting to establish a diocese. Oh, interesting.

Where others may be fearless in their promulgation of the Catholic faith, Donald is reserved and understanding. He is in the process of building a Romanesque cathedral in Santa Fe. Donald is more aware of his mortality, than ever, but has found solace among the locals, whose provincial natures belie a deep spiritual oneness with the stark landscape. The southwestern desert is harsh and barren, but his denizens welcomed Donald with open arms. That's sweet. Donald Trump and his Native American guide,

Jacinto, travel east to Elk Mountain to visit a village where Donald's close friend, the vicar Joseph Latour, lies gravely ill with a case of black measles. As they trek through the wilderness, Donald ponderes the impact of white settlement among the Native Americans and the diseases the whites have spread. A blizzard, hinders Donald and Jacinto's progress, and they are forced to seek refuge in a cave that Hasinto confides has been used in Native American ceremonies for generations. Jacinto swears Donald to secrecy about the cave's location and contents,

a request that Donald will honor to the end of his days. That's amazing. Hasinto invites Donald to press his ear to the cave wall. Donald hears the great rushing of a massive underground river, churning and pounding through miles of impenetrable rock like an artery of the earth itself. The experience is transcendent. Donald realizes that though his life is nearing its terminus,

and though Latour may succumb to the measles even despite Native American folk medicine, the cathedral they have spent their twilight years erecting together will stand forever. Their relationship, a lifelong friendship deeper even than brotherhood, is already etched eternally into the community of Santa Fe.

Their cathedral, a massive memento Mori standing resolute in the rough red rocks of the American Southwest. Wow. Hacinto discovers a new form of energy known as Electronium and builds a big robot. So that's what's been going on with Donald Trump and with Hacinto. You know, I am excited.

That was his running mate, Jacinto? No, Hacinto is his Native American guy. Oh, okay. I was a little bit confused there. Yeah, no. His running mate was Dadey Vance. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and we don't know what the fuck he's doing.

And the Jada does not stand for Hacinto. No. I look that. Hacinto. De Native. The native. Well, that's amazing. Yeah.

So Donald Trump, I'm very happy for you. I'm happy for you, Kamala, too, because I feel like almost like the American people sets you guys. free from this fucking stupid electoral politics. You guys can go live the rest of your lives doing these amazing things. But that's nice to, they're

private citizens now. But the country needs to be led by somebody. It's true. So let's take a look here. These were the election results, like we said. It's a perfect tie. What do we do? There's no president. Neither them won. What can we do? Well, I'll tell you, they are going to do a mixture. Whoa!

This is the mixture style. This is unprecedented. I wish there was word for this color. This is called, so this is called a mixture. Okay. And I went to color mixer.com to make this color. To be an exact mixture. I mean, I didn't do it. The government did it. Uh-huh. So let's look, Mrs. Red plus, or Mrs. Red, I said Mrs. Blue. That's a, because of the hair. Screw up. The green hair. Say again, it's an outfit. But it is kind of an ostentatious female style outfit. This is Mrs. Red and Mr. Blue mixture equals the purple. The wet apple or apple-shaped droplet party. So let's take a look. This is the

Purple is the president. Let's take a look at the platform. Let's see some of the policies that are going to be enacted in our country. Okay. It's kind of a mix of the policies you'll see. So snack at home and at school. Two snacks. I can get behind that one.

Sure. Sour? Sweet. It doesn't matter. Wow. Either way is fine. Pro music and pro dancing. Do both at the same time. Hell, why not? That's good.

Military spending must quadruple two public executions per day. Okay. And four men should not be allowed to get married. All right. Well, even though those lefty liberal can admit that that's true. Women are machines, period. Pro wet apples, but anti-apple-shaped droplets. Okay. And birth certificate clearly states that it is a mutant made born from a mixture.

So they don't like themselves? Yeah, because it says that they're anti-apple-shaped droplets, and yet it's the apple-shaped droplet party. Yeah, so that's just the mixed, some of the quirks of a mixture. You're just chalking that up to mixture. That's just quirks. Okay. More quirks.

And how was they combined? Through a mixture. Yeah, the mixture is clear. And I know this is incredible precedent, but actually history buffs will know. Like, for example, Joe Gleason fans of American politics. True. Or remember that many, there was actually one election that ended in a mixture before. Really?

Yeah, the election results in 1880 were actually a perfect tie between Winfield Hancock and James Garfield. Oh. And back then, they actually did do a mixture. You can see here they did Garfield plus Hancock mixture. and this equaled a president named Output Boy. Oh, wow. And that was cool. A handsome young lad.

Yeah. But the purple is actually one of the more exciting mixtures due to how scary it looks. It does look very scary. It has one long leg and one short one. It will be commemorated on a lot of different things. For example, the purple will be on the $100 bill. Oh, it looks good. We'll be on the $100 coin.

Okay. Finally. We'll be on the queen playing card. Okay. I'm not sure. will be on the two-level bus. And will be on the green egg. I like the green egg.

The purple will be on the green egg going forward. I wish that it was a purple egg. Yeah, me too. That's what I might. Yeah, this is the green egg. Yeah, no, I'm aware of that. So here's my question about the green egg. Does it always need to be near the orange flowers?

It doesn't need to be, but it would be preferred if it was. Because it's almost a mixture of the same. Because of the green stems. Yeah, exactly. Oh, okay. Well, the green egg creates orange flowers. It doesn't create orange flowers. Brown seeds create orange flowers.

That's true. I'm a dope. Seeds are not eggs even though they look like small eggs. But that's all my slides. Okay. I just wanted to let you guys know kind of what was happening in the news. Yeah, so now that we can actually talk about it. You know, I've always felt like there was a deep division between the East Coast and the West Coast.

It runs back to almost the 1990s of sorts. Right. Where you have rivalries of, and you know what they say, as the rappers go, so does America. and here we are 25 years later and we're split right down the middle Right and I do always I do always remember I think about how the rappers of the West Coast

were always rapping about apples Yeah Apple this apple that put a gat in an apple Meanwhile over here on the East Coast Wutang Yeah the 36 droplets I grew up on the water I grew up with some water

I was drinking the water Shame on a droplet who tried to run I drank a glass of water I drank a cup of water I drank a cup of water the combination made my mouth wet yeah yeah that's what i mean like uh it's been telegraphed for a long droplet droplet y'all droplet droplet drop let me a spill y'all get me a drop so i could take it away off on a droplet and that was some blue shit drop charge that was a real blue and red type shit blue versus red and now we have a straight up purple nerple of a country yeah and now so that's my

Nerple. Okay, why not? I mean, we have a mixture for a president. We got a straight-up mixer of a... What, you can't say Nerple anymore? Yeah, you can't say Nerple. Well, whatever. Like, they've never said Nerple.

Okay. So, my... My problem is... Sure. What are the rappers going to do now? Yeah. They might have to join together. What if the...

What if one of every West and East Coast rapper mix... Sure. What if they mean? Come one mixture. We get half the rappers. So who's in West Coast rapper? Let's say Kendrick Lamar. Okay.

Who's an East Coast rapper? Drake. I was going to go Diddy because Drake is from Toronto. Oh, yeah. That's not our country. Yeah, so that's not the right thing. Yeah. So go Diddy?

Let's go Diddy. So, yeah, so Diddy and Kendrick Lamar. Mixter. Dendrick. Dendrit. Dendrit. Dendrit. Dendrit.

No, he's not puffy anymore. He's not puff daddy anymore. Oh. Diddy. Was he, wasn't he most recently diddy dirty money? Well, that's basically his band. That's like calling him, Kirk Cobain Nirvana. I thought that it was his name.

No, you fucking idiot. You don't know the first thing about rap. I don't really. Okay, then wrap something for me right now. I just said I don't really know it. How would I wrap it if I don't really know it? Well, you prove my point. You're your own point.

Yeah, I proved myself. Another debate. You proved yourself. You proved yourself. I proved myself. but I just am worried about the state of rap and I have had this kind of problem every single time that somebody gets elected

what are the rappers gonna do 2016 Eminem said that he hates fucking Donald Trump he's an orange he hates fucking Donald Trump he loves toasters because he's not good he said yeah I'm so sick of fucking Donald Trump I don't want to fuck Donald Trump

and he's got an awfully hot coffee pot hope I don't drop a droplet on Donald Troplet or whatever it was water drop I got an awfully hot water drop water drop drop it's an awfully wet water drop mrs apple you're an asshole whoa that's more Danny brown

yeah Donald or Eminem is more Donald Donald Donald Donald you know what that would be the most insane thing ever dot hey Eminem I want to see your birth certificate yeah yeah I don't think your name's Eminem your name could be Donald Donald Donald Droplet Donald Donald is a good at he's a way he actually is a mixture because he's from Detroit The middle of the country. Wow. So he's purple. Well, mixture, I mean.

What were the results for Detroit? Was that purple? I think it was red. I think it was red. That was where the line was? I said wherever the line was. I think it was left. It was blue.

Interesting. Well, left was red. Yeah. Left was no, but that's what I mean. It's all a mixture now. Well, it's all just a mixture now. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because it's a mixture.

You know what happened actually? This coastal switch, this happened in the 1800s when the party switched. We got a similar thing and then it turned into a mixture. Yeah. You know, Republicans used to like... They used to like...

Why are you getting so scared? You're scaring me. The droplet party used to be all about apples. They used to be like, we fucking love apples. Yeah. Everything's red and shit.

Yeah. And then something happened and now they fucking hate apples. It was probably... It was literally something behind the scenes. Something behind the scenes. The crime scenes, political. Yeah.

Crime. I find that the world is a crime. Oh, Watergate. Water. Don't even get me started on Watergate. Applegate. She did all this. It all traces back to Christina Applegate.

Is she the one who's like this? Did you guys ever drink apple water? No. Oh, yeah. I never did, but we're about to be starting to. Yeah. Pretty much in every, it says snack time. I already know what the snacks is going to be every time.

An apple and some fucking water. Or an apple filled with water. Apple skin filled with water. You bite in. And it explodes like a water balloon. It's filled out seeds in it. I'm just waiting here with the peanut butter party has to say about the apple.

The peanut butter party is not a real party. You're being so ridiculous. I'm not being ridiculous. No, the peanut butter party is the Democrats, the Republicans, the Green Party, the Whigs, the Apple Party and the water drop was.

The peanut butter party. The peanut butter party doesn't enter into it. That's a party in the UK. No, no. We don't have those in the U.S. The peanut butter party was here. By Reese, Reese West.

Okay, graffiti. Was here. Motherfucker. The peanut butter. party, the Apple party was saying please vote for us. Don't let the peanut butter party siphon votes. We're better together. You are

an idiot. Not an idiot. You need to read Howard Zinn. You literally need to read Howard Zinn. The people's history of the United Party. Was he in the nicotine party? Dude, you don't know the first thing about parties. There's all these parties you're making up from me. You're making up shit, dude. Oh, let me guess a jelly party. It's not just a two party

system anymore because we have a mixture party. I'll tell you it's a one party. The way you're talking right now, I'm going to tell you one party you're not going to be a part of my birthday party this year. Seriously? Dude, be politically accurate.

We are putting this on YouTube. Yeah. Thank you very much. We're going to get flagged for misinfo. Don't cry. Don't cry. Well, that's kind of a water droplet party

because we're doing mixed. You better be crying apple juice. That's right. And I get to lick at one time to check. So you don't get to cry. All right. But seriously, everything in the country is going to be awesome.

Yeah. I'm really excited. I hope that they mix movies with TV. Oh. They have already started on that. No, no, I'm, I know that there's TV shows and there's movies, but I'm thinking like a TV show that has the gravitas or the prestige, if you will, of a movie. Yeah, or a movie that's just like so boring and nothing happens like an episode of a TV show. A procedural dog shit.

A filler movie? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. A bottle movie. This one's filler. The director should be making filler movies. I agree. One movie where a bunch of stuff happens when they make another movie with just nothing.

Basically nothing. Just a bunch of backstory from the guys from the first movie. That's a good idea. It's a backstory just of guys from the movie that you're watching. They do transformers and then they do like a Abbott Elementary filler episode. That's a feature length. But those do actually create some interesting character development. If you think about it.

Why are you so contrarian today? I'm just sick of this fucking political system. Me too. I bet you want to tear that. I want to piss on it, right? Don't piss on it. don't want that we'll be I want to shit on it

don't shit on the flag that's fart on it farting is farting on a step back I don't use it to wipe my penis when after I pee that's probably okay too I'm not like a girl

do girls use flags to wipe their pusses when they fucking some girls wipe after they pee yeah they have a really dribbling one with that I'd actually don't know that much

about girls I'm going to be honest you better start learning you better start learning because this country is divided, or actually women are machines. Women are machines. You have to learn about any biological function.

I don't know the fucking first thing about it. Okay, okay, Mr. going to take his girl to the mechanic when he doesn't know how to fix it. Oh, shit. Yeah, what's the problem with that?

What am I supposed to do? Let her break. You are, you are not a man. I'm not a man. Man card revoked. Yeah. If you don't know how to fix every single part,

if you're a girl a machine and you don't know how to fix every single part. Real shit. Man card revoked right there. No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, okay. Do it outside on the street. They're not that big. No, I don't have a garage, and I'm going to proudly take my wife to the mechanic when she breaks down.

You would. Bro would let another man touch his machine. Because I respect my mechanic, and I want him to keep his job. That's actually dope as fuck. Excuse me? No, that's actually dope. Whoa. Okay, now you really sounded like a water drop.

Steve Jobs? Mm-hmm. Dude. You know what? He's been dead. Yeah, he's been dead. You know what? He probably would have cured.

his cancer with Mrs. Apple in charge. Yeah. Because he ate apples to cure that shit. She probably wouldn't have liked him very much. I thought he ate grapes. He ate some fruit. Think that what he had a plethora. Every day got an edible arrangement delivered.

Great. A fucking other fucking mango flour. He was trying to pay the edible arrangements company with his insurance card. More expensive than chemotherapy. It's actually, it's mostly covered. This is only going to cost me $5. Yeah. It's mostly covered in yogurt.

Oh, that's why he died. He was a dairy. He was eating yogurt covered fruit. Or those sour fruits that they have a Costco now. Calling edible arrangements, she's like, yeah, and I have, I have Cigna.

Blue Cross, Blue Shield. Am I in network? Blue Cross Blue Shield. Sounds like a water drop. Red cross, blue shield. Yeah, well, that would actually be a pretty sick loadout. I'm going to be honest.

A red cross and a boy shield. Damn. It just makes a water drop. sense to Castlevania vibes kind of absolutely. Wow.

Well, guys, the election is sadly over. We're going to have to wait four more years. Four more years. Four more years. Four more years.

Until the next election. Four more years. We're waiting patiently. So we're waiting patiently. Four more years for the next election because we love doing political stuff

and covering this kind of shit. We're political people. You know that about us. I'm going to be and you bet your bottom dollar next election season. I'm going to be sitting there like I do.

every single year at the old Fuddruckers watching the results come in Slaping you said you had something you wanted to show You're going to be at the Fuddruckers slapping your butt like that video The guy at the racetrack You know what would be a good place to watch the election coverage

Dick's Last Resort Yeah Because they'd probably be walking around Fuck this How did you get a ballot You got a ballot and you wrote it Wait he said he was going to do this How did you do this?

Wait a minute Wait is Rochelle fruit is that Mrs. Apple? That's got to be Mrs. Apple, right? Wait, how did you commit voter fraud? How did you do this, man? How did you get a ballot? Is this really what it's like?

It's that easy? I got a source of the inside. Who sent you their ballot? You wrote in baseball? His name, it will remain anonymous. Let's just say, Colin, DJT. No. Donald Trump voted for baseball?

He sent you a ballot to vote for baseball. Because he didn't want an illegal vote. Yeah. Because that's a good man. All right, well, baseball, so we have at least one vote that wasn't a mixture. Yeah. That was for baseball. Yeah.

About the rest was a tie. All right. Good night. Bye-bye. Try and roast me. I think I can take it. All right. Hey.

Oh, wait. I think I got one. So you're dressed as the flash, but it seems more like you would want to run away from being. normal normal just a roth what's the hey Mr.

Apples and Bananas You have red and yellow Guy just in red and yellow Your apples and bananas Everybody get up for Mr. Apples and Bananas And he gets a laugh of that He keeps trade tries to call everybody Mr. Apples and bananas

It's okay but I didn't mean it It's just a joke It was Hinch. He's just going Hinch. You try one. You just cliff him. Pat, do me, do me. Do me, Pat.

Do him. He looked like a bitch. Dude, that's funny. That's what you would say. That's funny. That's the kind of stuff you would say, Mr. Apples and Bananas. Come on, stop it. Oh!