Podcast About List - Ep. 315 - The Hypotheticals

Episode Date: November 13, 2024

Ever wondered what our powerful minds could do with what puny hypotheticals the audience could come up with? No? Okay. Whatever. Subscribe to us on YouTube youtube.com/@PodcastAboutList Buy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

I like rolling up the sleeves before the clap. It makes it CRISPR. Yep. It did make it crisper. You know, CRISPR gene therapy. Speaking of CRISPR, that's what that Googly should have been stuck into. So tell your story. So this morning, I went to go drink something.

It was called a local weather. This is a drink that I've been telling you guys is good. It's something you collected in your rain. Is this the, it's my rain tarpah tank? This is the aschwaganda drink that I drink when I'm really hungover or. Okay. Certainly underdosed. Well, it's the Oshuaganda drink that I've been drinking because it has no caffeine,

but it also feels like an energy drink. So it's like, okay, I'll fucking, I'll do this. Yeah. And then I drank it. You have an insane amount of dust got all over me. I saw that and I thought you were pre-made with that, but I guess you got it since you've been here. But yeah, I go to drink it and I'm like, this does not taste good. This tastes off like crazy.

And so I take another sip. What is it supposed to taste? It's like fruit punch. It tastes exactly like Hawaiian Punch, but it's got like aschwaganda in it and vitamin B and stuff. Okay. They're usually pretty good. I will, I do. And what did this one taste like?

This one tasted like there was something spoiled. Okay. So it tasted like it was off. And then I checked the expiration date. It was next year. I was like, okay. So that means it's not. Troubleshoot.

So even though it's nasty, you kept drinking. Because then I looked, they said, oh, shake. Maybe I didn't shake. be something. Right. Maybe the shake activates the taste. Maybe something has. Yeah, maybe there's some flavor at the bottom. So I shake it, take another sip. I'm like, okay, this isn't good. Something. What if there's like a dead mouse in here? Like the beans. Yeah, like the beans. Like the beans. What if I'm drinking a dead mouse? And then I poured it into a cup and what I saw shocked me. I saw a complete goobie. He saw a slime. I saw a slimy. I saw a slimy. A slimy

There was a slimy goobie in my drink. Can we see the photo? Can you send up the pick to? Julio, can you pull that up? My phone's over there. Yeah, give me one minute. Actually, you know what? I can forward it to you.

It looked like, it looked like, it looked like, I'm going to be honest, it looked like amphibious. It looked amphibious or like, have you ever. I felt that it looked like a hybrid, like that like a hybrid fetus. Yeah, I, it did look like a, there it is. That's the gooby that was. in my drink. Doesn't that look like a human tadpole? A homunculus. Yeah. There is clearly a body. This is some kind of

ambiotic sack. I thought that maybe this was like, I was like, oh my God, that is a rat's hair. Because I'm always thinking that there's rats stuck inside of it. Well, now that you say that, that does look like a hair. Did you feel the gooby? I didn't feel the gooby. How did you, did you put my finger in? So you felt it out. So I couldn't scoop it out with a spoon. You saw it and then you scooped it out.

Yeah. So that, okay. I couldn't scoop it out with a spoon. Wow. So you did touch it? I did touch it. Okay. And so you lied to us earlier

when you said you didn't touch it. I never said that I didn't touch it. Yeah, you did. I said, what did you feel like? You said you didn't touch it. Well, it felt like water. I didn't touch it.

So it's just water then. That's not water. That's a goobie. Here's what I'm, here's what I'm going to bring to the table here. Yeah. What? When I asked if you could bring it in for us to do some evidence.

See, I think that you ate it. I didn't eat it. I think that you ate it. After you saw what it was, you ate it. I believe that you threw it away. Okay. And I'm not afraid to say it. All right.

Thank you. But I realized that your experience is mirroring my experience with the pile. Oh, wow. I found the disgusting pile. And I threw it away without even so much. just taking a picture let alone keeping a sample

there's something going on. There's a gross out pattern. There's a gross out pattern where we're not where we're also it's so gross that we're not even able to verify its existence.

I don't remember if that was a premium but basically you found a pile of slime. Don't tell me that's a good point. But you got grossed out. Yeah. A gross substance.

Patrick has now been grossed. We got a pile, we got a goobie. And it would be less eerie to me if it went you, me and then we wouldn't even assume

Patrick would get it. But the fact that it's moving this way across the table creeping towards me, it's really scary. Maybe it'll jump to Jubio first. Jump to Jubio. That's a good name for a segment. Well, let's jump to Jubio now. Jubio,

do you have anything to say? I'm drinking coffee, man. Let me alone. Just some thick coffee. It sounds like if you're chewing the coffee. Are you drinking? What's that fucking, the creamer? He's got goobie coffee. You know, you know the one I'm talking about? The one on clogs fluid. The one on clogs fluid. Yeah.

What's clogged fluid? It's not even creamer. He just keeps it in a creamer container. Can you pull out the video of cogs? A guy on Twitter named John Coggs invented a new type of fluid. Yeah. It's the classic video as a creamer container and it's like this white slime that behaves like, yeah. This is this is what Jubio put in his coffee.

Yeah. There you go. This is in Jubuio's coffee. It says I've been working on this for a while. I call it Cogs fluid. I hope it. will change the world. Why is it taking so long to load?

God, damn it, you fat bastard. So long ago, I didn't realize your fucking stupid website won't even load any videos. This is what happened

a month into COVID is to be this guy. See Zuck's website. It goes immediately. But look, it does this thing where, yeah,

like pours around. Yeah. So. That's in Jubio's coffee. I would say that that grossed me out, so I'm probably in the, no,

you're not in the, Here's the thing. It has to be a physical gross air. Because we're pointing out how it's moving down the table. My object, large, and I didn't touch it at all. Your object smaller and you almost consumed it. Yeah. So I'm going to eat a really tiny thing.

Or I'm going to touch and eat a really big thing. It will be a combination. Combination. Oh, it adds together. Yeah, it's additive down the table. And then Julio is going to touch and eat and then throw away something that is big and small. Yeah. But so now that we know that it's coming for you, you have to, there's some type of like supernatural thing that's keeping us from preserving these.

This is final destination. Yeah. You need to fight it. You need to fight it. I can't fight it because then everybody I know is going to be grossed out. Gooby destination. Gooby destination. I'm living in a goobie.

I'm living in a goobie destination. Slimele goop. Everywhere I look, I'm going to be... Oh my God, Tony Todd just died from Slamel Goopstonation. What's that? Tony Todd, Mr. Candyman? Mr. Candyman from Final Destination. He played the Candyman. He played Final Destination.

He played Death. Oh. I don't even remember death being in that movie. Yeah, he's the Undertaker guy in all of them who tells them the... Oh, yes. Okay. So he's a great name to Tony Todd. He was great, man.

Yeah. Passed on, though. He passed on at the age of 69. He was so good. Did he get hit by a train or something? He got hit by a cancer. Yeah. I think. It's always sad.

Nobody ever dies with illness in those movies. Yeah. No, yeah. Always die of a problem. It's always a problem. It's always a problem. Yeah. Just die like a fucking normal.

They should do a movie that's like a John Wick movie. About death. Well, then it's revealed that John Wick was like the accident. It's a stealth final destination sequel. And it's like all the guys who killed were all in a plane. and they all got off and crashed. Yeah, that would be badass. That would be awesome.

That would be fucking cool. Is that, which one is it where it's like the end of that final destination is the beginning of the first one? Four maybe or maybe. Why would they do that? To make it a loop.

It's cool. It's cool as fuck. It's bad ass. Does they even make it look like the 90s in that movie? I think that, I think so. How would one make it look like?

I also think it wasn't that far removed. Oh, yeah. I mean, was the first one even in the 90s? I think they were all in the 2000s. Yeah, I think five was in 2011. I think that was the only one outside of the 2000s. I thought it was 99 that that came out. You might be right.

Yeah, it might be. I think of it as a 2000. Well, that is the new millennium. Most of them were definitely in the 2000s. Yeah. You might be right. But I, what kind of precaution should I take? Or should I take no precautions?

It's going to happen. Yeah, I think precautions are going to kind of edipist style drive you into it. Like, you're going to, like, put tape over your mouth. And you're going to fuck your mouth. It's like on the tape. You know what I mean? It's stuck in my mouth. Yeah.

Like I feel like if you take precautions, something worse is going to happen. But I think what you have to make sure. I think you should bring the microscope home with you. Just in case. Just I think you need to be prepared. I really wish to prevent it, but to study it. I wish that I kept the gubi. You could have kept the pile.

I could have got it out of the trash. I could have got it out of the trash. Isn't it? Isn't it? Both of us experienced these things and neither of us kept it in any way or even. There's, I mean, at least there was a picture. Uncharacteristic. Some proof.

Yeah. Well, there is little pieces of the pile. There's little flex of the pile. There is proof. And also it's on the snow shovel. Wait, if there's flex, we can put it under the microscope right now. So we can put the snow shovel under the microscope. Yeah. No, man, that's nasty.

It's too big. It has a video output thing. That's what I was saying. That's why the goby would have been a perfect analysis. We'll do that on the premium. That's not going to go on YouTube, but we'll look at poop under a microscope on this week's premium. We'll analyze it. We'll analyze it.

We're going to analyze due. Yeah, we'll analyze you do. Oh, wait a minute. That'd be a perfect poster. It's analyzed this. Analyze it.

You can just take the letters around and make it to analyze shit. Oh, wow. Yeah. So that. Robert's in here. Analyze shit. He has a microsite.

He has like a jewelers. He has like a microscope. What are he doing this? I never seen that movie Me neither No I've seen a scene from it That's a YouTube short scene I haven't seen it

I was thinking of anger management Oh yeah They're kind of the same movie Yeah But what's analyzed this is like he's a mob He's a mobster Yeah I don't know

He's a mobster in therapy Yeah Whoa Yeah Wait and did it come out before Proce came up way before Prepranos Pre-Pronos

FEEP Veep Veep Veep It came out pre-veep. That's right. It's the same thing as a V. E.T.

Veep. I don't know what E.T is saying, Mom. Veep. We gotta get him back to this. He's from the future. He really wants to watch. They would know what a VEP was, but they wouldn't understand when he went to the TV and said, they said, what, you want the news?

Oh, you want to look at Mr. Agnew? Yeah, we're not in an election year. Yeah. Agnew. That's the coolest. Agnew. Spiro Agnew. Feep

Agnew I think that that is the coolest name of anybody who's ever held public office Yeah It's pretty cool Spiro Agnew It is pretty cool That's a back word's name

He has a pig Latin name He left before Watergate Uh yeah he got He was the first one to get Fired For the Watergate stuff If I believe I'm correct Which I do

Interesting I don't know that much about history Ike Not a real name but it's a cool one. Ike is pretty cool. Dwight Eisenhower? Yeah.

Ike. Ike Eisen. Yeah. Where does that come from? It's because they, it's because. Is that one of those nicknames that doesn't make any sense?

Yes, that's, yeah, that's one of those. Dwight, I think, Ike is one of the ones, isn't Ike one of the ones that can be for a million names?

No. I can only be for Mike. You would not transfer Ike from Mike. No, they're just for Michael. For best friends. What do you mean they're best? Yes, they have made a candy. We don't know anything about their relationship.

You don't think that they're friends? I think you think a candy like that could be born from strife? I think that that's exactly what that came. Weren't Mike and Ike-N-Ike-Fucking on the cold and joyless can't? Nobody's like, hey, you're my best friend. Let's come up with the worst candy ever today. No, Mike and Nikes, chill on Mike and Nikes. I'll chill on whatever I want.

You chill on Red Hots, which is the better, Mike and Ix. My Rett Hots suck. Okay, Mr. Hates. I like Mike and Nikes. Mike and Nikes are better. Mike and Nikes are good. Mike and Ike and Hike. You guys are not Mike and I'm like and I.

And you're Mr. You're and bro. No, I'm fucking shit. You're good and plenty. You're not Mr. You wish you were Mr. You're good in redhots more. No one likes your ass.

You want Mr. Shitted in? Mr. Shitted in? Mr. Shitted in? Mr. Shitted in? Mr. Shitted in? Mr. Shitted in? Like I'm not like a turlet.

You're a turlet. Not even a little bit. You're a complete turlet. Brown clot. Brown clot. That's not a candy name. That's a candy. That's a candy.

No candy maker is in browncloth. That's a French candy. I'm the candy expert. I know all about candy. That's a French candy. You're a candy expert, eh? Okay, what colors are on the candy candy? Yuckin'Ux, brown, white.

Damn, you're an expert. Yeah, I'm a candy expert. Okay, what about the- Speaking of candy expertise, here's a fact, I think is true. I think Mike and Ike were fucking on the low. I think they have no way to know. I think it was above board.

Can you look that up? I think it was, I think it weren't hiding it. Were they, were they gay guys? I think they were gay guys. It could have been that they were boyfriends, and they made the candy. At first, it was a ball, and then they started kind of one hand on the other,

slowly rolling it out to be a long extended pill. Tony Perkins laments that Mike and Ike are gay. What is this? They're starting a gay divorce. They're sexualizing candy. Mike and Ike have announced that they're divorcing. Mike and Ike is already the most sexual candy. It's hard to sexualize that more.

Oh, this is some kind of onion. Oh, I think I saw this on Colbert. And then I think that I just, my brain just kind of ran with it. So you actually thought, wait, actually. Oh, no, it was real. I think that I think they probably didn't say this is a, we're going, we're having a gay divorce. Why does every single thing say we're getting a gay divorce? I like that it says gay divorce as if like, it's like, you could just say Mike and I are getting a divorce.

A gay divorce. That's what I'm saying. I think these are all click for the clicks. Do you have to say gay divorce? Mike and Ike is an American brand of fruit flavored candies that. were first introduced in 1940 by the company Just Born Inc. Well, I guess they're just born.

They were gay babies. They were literally just born in 1940. And then they made them get married. Of course they got. It was an arranged marriage. Yeah. And they got a divorce. I guess that.

I wonder how many companies or like when somebody just makes a company have to think of a name really fast, how many are named we just made a company. I fucking hate. Just came up with a company. Just started a company. I fucking hate when the candy companies do this fake, there's fake beef between the,

The Twix shit, right Twix. Man. That shit's the worst. I know. I know bad. I know better. And Twix is a terrible candy, but the right one better, though. Dude, for real?

For real. I can't lie. The right one has a better flavor than the left Twix. Yeah. You're huffing gas, bro. You're a freaking loon. So what I huff gas. It has nothing to do with what we're talking about.

I'm not loony. You're a loon. Give me two twicks right now, and I'll tell you which one is right, which one is left. And if you try to give me a double right, I'll know. Or a double left even. That's because it says on the rapper now. Yeah.

It says it. Do you want me to fucking die? It says what it says. Do you want me gone? You want me gone. I want you out. You want me out of this world. You want me on another planet.

I wish in your chair, there was just a pile of left twicks. You want me stuck in the vacuum of space and my eyeballs shoot out my head. I want to vacuum you up. And put me in your space. Yeah, and throw you out. Yeah. You think I'm garbage. Both of you think I'm so garbage just because I don't like Mike Knicks.

chaff. No, I understand what's going on here. You're cudd. You guys think that I should be chewed up by a cow putting one of the kid cuddies. Your kid cuddy. Because you're cudd. Don't make me sound cool. You're the cuddly kid. No, don't make me sound cool. You are the cuddly kid. With a new cowboy name. I don't know who that is. That's cudd. That's what cows eat every day.

That's twigs. Yeah. Yeah, that's twig. What did you think it looked like? I don't know. I just thought that'd be funny to say. We have a whole conversation about Oh, that one. See, notice here, the right one has a bite out of it. Yeah, because I saw it comes in the fucking pack. Irresistible.

It's filled with it. They put the defects in the right one. You think if that was instead of chocolate, it was breading, and then instead of cookie right there, it was turkey, and then right there. Bro, it's literally an egg. It's an egg macumphant. Yeah. Thanksgiving burrito. Yeah.

That would be amazing. I look at this and all I think about is Thanksgiving. For me, I think breakfast. I think Halloween. It's giving breakfast to me. This is giving breakfast to me. This is giving. breakfast. This is giving breakfast. Is Twix a

breakfast bar? Not because, again, if you replaced everything in it. Yeah. If it was eggs, sausage and hash brown. Doesn't this look like a breakfast burrito? Cheese inside of it? Yes. That's a good. A stuffed sausage. A stuffed sausage. A stuffed sausage. Or it could just be the sausage cake. A breakfast

twix. And it says twix on it. They have the ice cream twix, which is the dessert twigs. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. That's really good. The candy twicks are the left and right twicks. Uh-huh. The breakfast twix is the top. Top twicks. Oh, wow.

And then a dinner twix is at the bottom. Wouldn't you do, would you do breakfast at the bottom? Yeah. Well, breakfast is the top of the day. It's the most important. It's the foundation of the day. It's the top of the day. I'm going foundation on this. It's literally the top of crazy.

If you were to make a house of food, if you were to make a house of food, it would be breakfast is the foundation. If you were to make a house of food. Breakfast food is the foundation. If you were to make a themed, like a gingerbread house, but it was every year. No, what are you, what foundation, okay, I understand the foundation as in you like to eat breakfast, which you don't even like to do. Well, it's the first thing to get to put down. What are you making? What is the brick here? What is the foundation?

It's breakfast. It's all breakfast. Name the foods you're making a fast. Hash brown. These are not good foundational food. Hatch brown is an amazing foundational food. A meatloaf. Toast. A meatloaf. Okay. You're going to have wet feet. Bacon, sausage. You don't walk in the foundation. You walk on the floorboards. Okay. Okay. Richie, rich. Exer the insulation. Yes. And sausage is not part of the stuff. bacon is the wood So the whole house It's a breakfast house

You're in a breakfast house The floor is Because you can have breakfast For dinner too Fried eggs and bacon Everything are so obviously The roof It's so obviously

The shingles on the roof Yeah but that's a toast It's an entire house of breakfast The toast could be the doors asshole And lunch are the foundation Okay well then what Okay then tell me what

You said that the meatloaf is the feet of the house The chimney is a mug of coffee That's literally steaming out Okay This is so I can picture that I can picture that, but it could be any liquid. You're just thinking of a breakfast house.

A chimney could be any liquid. It could be gravy. A chimney could be any cup. A mug of gravy. A chimney could be any cup. A cup of soup. A chimney could be a cup of soup. If anything, the chimney is going to be dinner bacon.

Because it's, because it's the only meal that has a cup, has a cup as part of it. Panchetta. Once I get into Photoshop later and I make this food house. I want to hear your idea for the food house. The part, he's thinking in single terms. Tell me where the. Lunch and the dinner goes. He thinks that the meals are the three little pigs, right?

And every single house is breakfast. No, I don't. I said the roof is breakfast. You think a roof is a whole house because you live in a cardboard on the ground. I rent. Yeah, I rent. I don't have a house. You live on the roof.

You just get the roof. The foundation would be thick foods that have a lot of structure and skeleton. Such as. Oh, I don't know. French toast, waffles, bacon and eggs. Let him finish. Let him finish. You think French toast is a thick food with a skeleton in it.

We do not believe that on the breakfast. house side. You don't, you are, he misspoke. You're making, you're making, waffles are a thick food. Waffles are thick. He's, you need to stop. Belgian waffle.

You have to stop. When we ate earlier. Look, we had shared. He's about to walk off the set. It's going to be all fucking, it's going to be all every, every, every meats. Okay. Because meats have bones in them. It's going to be things like a pig with an apple in its mouth, fully.

As the ground. As bricks. I'm faceballing. To build a foundation. You lost me. A ground is not part of the house. The ground will be. dirt. We're not living in food world.

You've lost me. The house it's not, okay, it's, the concept is not even that the house is made of the foods. It's that the rooms are food themed. That is the concept. You are moving the goalpost so much because you know I'm right. The bricks can't be whole paid. I am the superior food house to no, no, if

this is a metaphorical, if this is a metaphorical food house, if this is a metaphorical food house, and we were speaking, and we were speaking, and we were Speaking only based on, like, in terms of... Well, it's a metaphorical food house. In terms of importance, the foundation would be breakfast, okay? So we're not.

The room, the room in the middle... I would say we're working practically here. The room in the middle would be the foyer or the mud room in the house. The foyer or the mud room before you come in, that snacks. Right, in the middle of the living room and the kitchen is lunch. And then the roof is dinner because you can, you could have... have a house with no roof and still live in it. And you can have a day with no dinner.

Actually, no. You can have a day with no breakfast. Yeah, it's completely, you're wrong in every sense. Well, I do, I would like to come back to something really quick, which is you said the brick would be an entire pig with an apple. Yeah. So that makes no sense on a couple of different parts. Number one, bricks have to be symmetrical so that they can interlock with each other.

You think pigs aren't symmetrical with each other. This is imbecilic. Not in the way that you can cut into that. them. Okay, but then why doesn't even have an apple in its mouth? We can do bricks. We can do bricks. I was thinking, you know, stuff like pigs and turkeys and chickens because they have bones in them that can be a rigid structure. Pigs and turkeys, what are they getting a hair trim plant? What's up? Yeah, that's pretty good. Pigs and turkeys, what are they getting a hair trims plant? We could also, I mean, if we're not, if we're not worried about variety, we could just do a bunch of meatloafs.

All right. Well, let's just make a meat house. They got burned up and they're really hard. All right. Well, let's go with Meathouse. Meathouse is better. Or stack up a bunch of steaks. Meatloaf bricks. Yeah, or pancakes. Yeah.

Pancakes, though. Well, you said, yeah. I'm worried about pancakes. I think the pancakes, though. No, pancakes are, they're not sturdy enough. But it's a literal stock. Pancakes are a rug. It's a stack.

Yeah. A pancake is a rug. Chimney. You're going to trip all day. No. You're going to trip all day on a pancake road. Then I guess a pancake needs to be flat. It's a roof shingle.

It's a roof shingle. It's not a roof shingle. It's not a, a bunch of them. See, why do you do this? What? Bricks are spam. Spam is the most ooey-gooey thing. It's square.

Yeah, but it's made of ooey-goey pink meat. Yeah, that's the mortar. Wait, so it's the bricks and the mortar? Yeah, the gooey. So you're talking about the can. You're saying the can. No, I don't eat the can anymore. So now we're moving into the food package, the metaphorical food packaging house.

Well, you could make a house of spam. And what metaphor are we talking about, really? What is this metaphor for? We're talking about the metaphor of meals. The metaphor of meals. Talking about the metaphor of meals. So you walk into the food house and the first room is the breakfast room, as you were saying. Yeah.

And then the foundation of the house, which you don't even see, that's interesting. Yeah, because I don't like it. So you walk in, yeah, you keep it away from you. Yeah. You walk into the foyer. It's snacks. The food yay. Because I'd say, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. You would enjoy it. Of course you say yeah. And this house is not made out of food. No. It's themed after food. So basically it's to what, okay. So it's a house, so that the...

And the foundation is themed after breakfast. You can add every single... This is what we're arguing about. And every single stud and every single two by four, it says pancakes, waffles. It says it. It says it. It's written on it? Okay.

It's written on it. With like a contractor's pencil, the big thick one. There's a picture of a waffle on every single one. Okay. So now you've come up with a brand for wood. That's more what we're doing now. Yeah, I guess so. Is a Home Depot brand?

A Collaboration Home Depot X breakfast. I think that I'm in a little bit of a haze right now because I think maybe I'm affected by a goobie. The goobie has given you a... I think that I've not made sense... What is it? 24 minutes we're into this. I think I've not made sense for 24 minutes. I think you just lost an argument to me and you're embarrassed.

And now you're saying... No. And now you just feel bad about losing. I think that you are right. I concede. But if we were talking about a different house... Here's what I hate about this. you gave the worst argument ever

that was only No, he did I thought it was terrible until you started giving the details and then for some reason he won when he said that the brick would be a pig with an apple in its mouth

that is the most that is horrible I think Span makes more sense yeah it's a breakfast foundation that's invisible that nobody sees and it's a breakfast it's thematically breakfast

it's pieces of wood pieces of wood that say waffle it doesn't make any nothing that makes sense you can write the word waffle we were talking about a house made of food and then you turned it into the materials say the food on them

yeah I look because I'm a believer in energies okay okay and if I feel like I feel like if you write something on the on the studs on the flats that you're saying it's like anointing a house yes yes I see

So then if you're in a room, you could feel the food energy. Burning sage type of shit. Yeah. So you would walk into the house and you'd be like, I can tell this is built on the foundation of breakfast. Yes. This is the house built on a strong foundation of bacon, eggs, waffles, and pancakes. And spam if you're from Hawaii.

I think if you were going to do a breakfast foundation, it's probably a box of cereal, right? I mean, are we including the box? No. Is packaging okay? I don't know. Oh, you know, I guess you could do like, you could use the cereal like cement, you know? You ever think about how they made Cheerio rhyme with cereal? I never thought about that before.

That's good marketing. That's good marketing. Because you say, yeah. What cereal should I buy it today? Did you say Cheerios? Oh, we have Cheerios. Oh, that's not what I wanted, but I guess I'll buy it. But I now I do.

I quite like the rhyming nature of this. All right, we probably should do the... Well, we already started strong with a hypothetical. I feel like I got to the bottom of this, but... The bottom would be dinner. Yeah, no. You're trying to drag me back into this shit, you fucking stupid bastard. It's not going to work.

I'll drag you right in through the door. The door made out of frozen stew. Yeah. That's what I'm... Frozen stew? You cannot make... Then it's just an igloo. Yeah. If you just make it out of frozen...

An igloo is a house. You are racist if you think that is not true. Well, I think an igloo is the nicest house you can buy. Okay? You're not going to catch me on that. Well, that's food. But I'm saying it's not the same thing. That's true.

That is food. Yeah. Ice? An igloo is made out of food. We can all agree on that. And up in Alaska, they eat ice for all three meals. So that's actually the perfect neutral, a house that has breakfast on the top and bottom. And it has neutrillions.

Exactly. In it. Ice is good. Yeah. Ice is good for you. Ice is good for your teeth. Yeah. It is good to chew on it.

It is good to chew on it. We, this day, we have opened up the lines once again, the podcast about List, hotline, for people to submit hypothetical questions. Because we've been having a lot of our own recently. Yeah, there was a breakfast house The breakfast house one There was obviously the sucking on a smooth one Yeah

And that just got us kind of thinking In the direction of hypotheticals What other famous hypotheticals have we had? Have we done? Yeah, does there any you can think of? Well, we used to do a million of them Yeah Yeah

Would you wake a pervert from a nightmare? That's one that we talked about Would you throw it back on a substitute teacher? Yeah, we used to do a lot of the different hypotheticals But now We've grown up The hypothetical, yeah, we've grown up you guys have stayed the same now we are the hypotheticals exactly the hypotheticals

the hypotheticals give us our first hypothetical please we're mike and ike gay hey uh Caleb Cameron Patrick and Jubio uh love y'all show thank you my hypothetical question is um if you had to always walk around stinky no matter how many times you should showered or anything like that, you're always stinky. Would you rather smell like butt or balls? Balls. And I mean like the worst possible scenario for both of these, like just a really you know, crusty, unwiped butt or just some really like acrid, like vinegary, sweaty vinegar balls uh thanks okay so would you definitely go with balls oh it's poop is disgusting yeah poop is nasty but let me play devil's advocate balls balls smell like food when they're gross

you know you just say i work at a restaurant yeah i was like yeah i've been working at the fish and chip shop all day that's why i smell like this malt vinegar i work at five guys i work Peanuts and malt vinegar and ketchup smell. Yeah. This is why I smell like that. I'm sorry, but I mean, I just got home from work. But think about it. Zoom out a little bit. You want to smell like butt. I don't want to. No, see, oh, you want to smell like balls. No. I already smell like balls. I'm going to say, we made an answer. You didn't give an answer.

You started to say, well, let's zoom out. It seems like you want to smell like butt. I didn't say I want to smell like an asshole. You want to smell like butt. No, I don't want to choose poop. You're on a runway to take off into poop. I'm not approaching saying that I wore out of the poop. You're like laying the groundwork to say you want to smell like poop. I'm laying the groundwork so that we can talk about this a little bit because you guys immediately jumped to a conclusion. And we have had like to discuss a little bit.

Because we thought logically it was like to be the only logical one. Not even a little bit do I want to be disgusting. So you think poop is not disgusting? I think that everybody at one point in their life has had a stinky bottom. Yeah, I love that. You can agree with that. Yeah, you guys agree with that. Amen.

That feels good. but not everybody in their life has smelled like a disgusting wrinkly nut sack I have. Yeah but that's the thing Of course you have. That's the thing. That is such a What's the way? An indeterminate scent That was insane watching you do that

What piece together that That two words It's such an indeterminate scent That it's not going to be like Like oh yeah this guy smells like balls It's just gonna be like oh he kind of smells bad Say you want to smell like poop You're trying to make us argue over this.

If you smell like poop, everyone's going to know it's poop. That's the one, that's a universal smell. It's your turn to give an answer. We gave our answer. We're not budging. Balls smell almost as bad as poop. I don't think so. At their very worst. At their very worst.

They smell almost as bad as an okay poop. No. But at their very worst for both of them. Poop at its worst? I want to smell like balls at its worst. Thank you for saying. I want to eat poop. We could have cut out a lot of poop.

You didn't have to say it all that. I wish I had poop where my balls are. It's weird. It's weird. It's a hypothetical. Like the house. Yeah, but you were saying that you like it.

Yeah, that's not hypothetical. It was metaphorical. Metaphorical. I'm so sorry. Yeah, it was a metaphorical house. Okay, metaphorically speaking, I would choose poop. You know what we should, speaking of when we finally put something new on these flats,

maybe write some foods on them. You want to make a new set of food house? No, no, just write it like the foundation. Oh, underneath. I actually like that idea. It's actually really good. We will be writing. Okay, so here.

To give us good luck for. Can I get the breakfast flat? Breakfast. So we have four. We have four flats. Okay. We'll get one to Jubio. Breakfast.

Breakfast, snacks. Tortillas. For breakfast, dinner, lunch, and Mexican food. Yeah. There we go. That's a good idea. Okay. Give us a next hypothetical.

Hey guys, my name's Liam, and I've been asking all my friends is hypothetical. So you can get pop-eye level strength, like you're bulletproof, you can lift cars, your strongest shit. But it says spinach. It's a one-inch by one-inch cube of your own shit. Okay. It needs to be a cube. It needs to be yours. And you get these towers throughout eight hours.

How often are you doing this, if ever, and do you just keep one in your pocket in case you need it? Or how would you use this tower? All right, thank you. the good part of this question is how is if you would keep it around yeah yeah because that's yeah you don't you don't spawn with this yeah you have to make it yourself that is that's what opens this up here because i was like a perfect cube he says so says Liam one by one cube so that's like one but like about one inch by one inch by one but like about the size of your brain oh shit sorry hint hunch jumped out and the hitch jumped out of you you got to stop going on them so this is like

this is like a full like uh i wish i lived ice rakers this is like an ice breakers cube of your shit it's a little bigger yeah it's like a three by three cube of those okay I have to keep that on you at all times I don't think I would keep it

the thing is I don't think that often I would need that I don't think I'm gonna need like Popeye Popeye style bulletproof strength yeah like that's like a that if I'm in a situation what if I'm in a situation

that's what I, exactly. This is not something that typically is happening to me where I'm saying if a situation like this is happening to me then I'm, it's down and dirty. I'm ready to shit in my hand and cube it up. If you have that power, if you have that power, somebody's going to want to test you. There's always a stronger guy. I won't know because I'll never use it. My question is how, he says a perfect cube.

Hugo Strange style someone's going to be or craving the hunter. No one's going to know about me. If I have to make it myself, do I, is it like, is it potentially like the edges are two rounded and I eat it and I didn't get no powers. I feel like that's the implication. Yeah. So it has to be like perfectly crafted.

So I guess you know what? Here's what I would do. I would not. Yeah, I wouldn't carry around my shit. I would carry around a perfect cube mold. Yeah. That I can shit on the ground and press.

That fits in your butt. Oh. No. Why would, how would you operate? So this time you're the one who has something to say that you don't want to come out and say, which is that you want to carry your poop around with you.

No, I don't want to carry my poop around with me. I want to carry around a device I can put in my butt. Yeah. That's perfectly okay. That's fine. We should do one of those things. Checkmate.

During an as a drug, every time we get a Patreon sub, you should get a vibration. Look, you have a vibrating buttplug. Yeah. It's sitting in the episode like that. Yeah. And he's clearly don't like it. It's way too powerful. Well, yeah.

That's why I'm going like, like, glibrate. We should do, we should do remote control panties episode. We should. We each have each. I don't know why we wouldn't do that. No, Julio controls us. And when we were bad,

when we're baddy makes us come. I don't think I could come from one of those. I'm going to be honest. And probably not sitting here. I think I'd have a hard time with that. I don't think that would be. I don't think that that would work because I don't have the parts. What's up?

The parts for them. You're smooth? I'm smooth. You are not smooth. I'm smooth. I know you're not smooth. You're not smooth. I'm completely smooth.

I've looked at your bones. No, you're not going to, like, like vibrating your penis. That doesn't do anything. No, it's your nuts. Vibrate you nuts. Yeah. Put the, put the panty,

put the underwear right down the middle of your nuts. So it puts a nut on either side. It's a nut you're putting more. It's underwear that has nuts in it. It has a nut holder. It's like gender affirming. Yes, yeah. But it's putting, it's padding.

two more nuts. Two more nuts. And it vibrates. And you would be sitting there like not only do I have four awesome nuts with two ball sacks, but they're also shaking. I think I will come now on TV. That would be awesome. That would be cool. So to answer your question, uh, underwear with four balls. Yeah. To answer your question, I'm going to, I mean, if the question is, would I have the power, which I think is with the power with the, oh no, no. No, is how often would you use it? How often do you carry around? Okay. So to answer honestly, how often do I use it? Probably. less than five times in my entire life. You become invincible? Emergency. Would I carry it around with me? No. I would use it for evil. No.

I think, well... You would use it for evil. I would become invincible. I'd become like rhino from... Yeah. Uh, Harry Potter. What? Who is a fucking Rhino?

From Harry Potter? I don't remember. I was a badgering the rhino from Spider-Man in a Hogwarts. Just barreling through walls. Just stealing all those. Wow. Yeah, I'd use it to... I mean, I'm invincible.

I can break walls and shit. Right. You just say all you have to do is keep eating your own shit. I would just, yeah. Well, it lasts for eight hours, he said. So I would just, you know, that's a full shift. Yeah, well, I would. That's what I would get a job. I would rob a bank.

I would rob a bank and then I would, I would be the poopy bandit and I would rob a bank. They would call you that. They wouldn't know about your power, but they'd still call you that. Yeah. Because you'd eat the cue before you go in. Well, that'd be the worst thing ever is like, you know, I'm like this powerful villain, right? and I'm stealing from like banks and stuff and then one day like

Spider-Man or whatever is like ha I figured out your power you eat your own shit it's like no you know what I would do I would become an NBA player and my for my pre-game ritual like how LeBron throws the chalk up in the air

you would see me bring out like a thing of like a cooler with dried ice and a cube of my shit that I eat before every single game and it would be so so badass. It would be like on, there would be a silhouette of that like the Jordan commenting on it.

Yeah, exactly. Now, I don't know what that is. I don't know why he's doing it. I don't know what this cube is. If you could call it a cube. Seems to be a perfect cube.

Seems to be a perfect cube. One inch by one inch. One perfect inch by one perfect inch. And he has become, dare I say, bulletproof for eight hours. You got to think what he's doing after these games. All right.

Yeah, wouldn't be that often and I wouldn't keep it on me. Next Q. Next Q. Next HQ. Yeah, it's an HQ. Hey, what's up, fellas? It's Dave from New Hampshire. Uh, so I had a question, a burning question for you. Would you rather get a dollar for every time you hiccoughed or like $20 for every time you got a nose speed? Yeah, that's it. That's it. I appreciate you guys.

Bye-bye. It's a hiccup. no because I don't get the hiccups that often I don't get the nosebleed that often either I get nosebleed quite often when you get the hiccups you're hiccubing more than 20 times that's true and you can induce the hiccups I feel that

but I hate the hiccups I would rather have a nosebleed than the hicc nosebleeds look cool Andrew WK style true as fuck I used to get hell of nosebleeds I'd rather have hiccups but they don't hurt they're just strange yeah well they'd ruin your clothes if they're bad enough and they strike at an in an opportune moment what if it's a very opportune moment and the smallest nosebleed ever I guess

if it was in a very opportune moment, then I'd pick that one. Well, that's $20 for every nosebleed. So, yeah, I think you'd have to have some kind of nosebleed savings account. I would start attacking people. I guess it's probably easier to give yourself a nosebleed

than it is to give yourself the hiccups, so. Let's see if I can just eat something really cold. You can just blade your nose, your nostril. Oh, because, okay, so you're saying that it's like, you can just make your nose bleed, right? Yeah. And how long does it have to last for it to be a nosebleed?

Could I... Yeah, can you just do it really fast? Cotterize it, do it again? Do I get 20 bucks? Yeah, that's cutting. I don't like that. You don't like that? But it's for money, though.

It makes me money. Well, if the question was $20 every time you get the hiccups, I mean, that's a better question. And then $100 for every nosebleed. I think the increments need to be higher. Well, that makes it a little closer. It needs to be a worthy question. Your question is not worthy. Unworthy question.

Unworthy question of David. Dave, you just, the question is good, but you need to be a worthy question. to raise the increments. And maybe I'd tell you about poop in it. Yeah. The last poop had... Let's see if the next one has poop.

The last two, I got confused because two is poop. The last two is poop. Yeah. Two is a type of poop. Hey, pot about list. This is Chris. So my question is that if I were to hypothetically want to make a clone of a person, someone like

maybe my favorite podcast producer slash Twitch streamer, what do you think hypothetically, I would have to do to collect a specimen from said person to get this project off the ground. Thanks, guys. I think that if you were going to make, if you wanted a Julio of your own. Well, he's, I mean, we don't know if it's Julio. It's just purely hypothetical. Or whoever, Jamie or another guy like that. Yeah, what's a Twitch term? I, I, well, who can't think of a single other person. It's got to be Julio. Yeah, we can just say that. Hypothetically,

hypothetically, if it's Julio, because he's the one who fits the bill. that we're thinking of. I don't think you go for cloning, grabbing a specimen. You don't want to go to Mexico. It's fucking dangerous. You want to make a Frankenstein's monster out of things that kind of remind you of him.

So that would be my thing. Okay. It would be gumballs and some sherbet and some a bathing suit. Other rainbow foods. Yeah, Skittles. those twirly lollipop.

Yeah, the twirley lollipop. Smarties. Smarties would definitely have to go in there. Razzles. You definitely need razzles for the eyes. A big package in now and later's. Yeah. A Godstopper sprees.

Nerds. We found out that that's what your friends thought about you. I think you're made of candy. The thing is, that reminds them of you. Those are all totems that to me every time I eat one, I think of Julio. Because he reminds me of...

Gummy cluster. A Gummy cluster, a nerds gummy cusset. Maybe even a rope for his legs. Tubby custard. Tubby custard. Tubby custard. What is that? Bro, for real?

Oh. I didn't watch Telethi Tully. I was never a baby. What was that thing's name that they wrote around? Nunu. Nunu. His name was Snooter. Snooter is from Kirby.

Snewter is from Jackass. Yes, that's Jackass. Oh, Wasabi Snewter. Yeah. I thought that little vacuum guy that they had was named Snooter. No, bro. new new new no no okay okay that new new new I already forgot the question the question was how would you go about getting

so if you did want to go get a specimen of Julio I would say a good idea would be to build a trap with them and you maybe you could fill the trap with like gumballs and nerds yeah computers no cones snow cones yeah the the sherbet again any kind of very colorful candy again they could either work as bait or as the actual material that you gum drops and if it doesn't work you can eat them And, yeah, exactly.

Worst case scenario, you have a giant pile of candy that you get to tuck into. That you pour chamois over. Now, that's racist. He sent us a picture. Julio was showing us a picture of Wopper's, Almond Joy, Eminem's, Lifesavers, Gummys, and Hot Dog buns. You're putting all that in a hot dog bunch? These are the top five. He's making a candy dog.

And it's holiday blend, Eminemones. He's making a sweet dog. You're putting Almond Joy in a hot dog bun. The sweet dog would be amazing. Why has nobody made the sweet dog? What's the problem with that? The treat dog is a good. Actually, I've had, I've seen that.

A treat dog? You've had a treat dog? You've not eaten a treat dog. I think that there is, yeah, there used to be a, it had a, um, that's not a treat dog. It had a polar bear on the label. And I think they had a, like, it was, you're thinking of a chaco taco taco from Clon. No, no, no, no, those are fire. No, they don't make those anymore.

Isn't that crazy? I think they took a break and they came back. But there was, I remember seeing an ice cream hot. Can you just look up the ice cream hot dog? We're not talking about ice cream. We're talking about candy on a bun. Yeah, I know, but I need to think that this is real. You need to think it's real.

No, man, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I need to remember it's real. There it is. The cold dog. Yeah, right there. Cool dog.

It's not a hot dog. It has a real hot dog in there? No, that's a banana or ice cream. Oh, shit. It's not a dog. It's not a polar bear. No, you're, no. You're clicking on the wrong.

one. That's okay. You already believed that it's real. I already believed it was real. Now that you believe that it's real, it's fine. I was truly for a second, like, is this like a fat guy dream that I had? I was like they made ice cream dogs. It's like me, just

imagining like, it's a hot dog made of ice cream. That looks pretty disgusting. Yeah. Looks like a banana. I think my brother liked them. Okay. Way to throw your fucking brother under the bus. Fat bitch. Yeah, I think my brother, like, the fattest, most disgusting food that you could possibly want, is a hot dog. Something that looks like a hot dog, but is candy and ice cream.

No, that's not okay to say about him. All right. Next hypothetical. I'm kidding. I didn't mean to call my brother a fat bitch. Well, good thing you have two of them, so who knows. Yeah, it could have been either one of them. Hi, this is Will.

I will. Here's one for you. What if you could prosecute bad manners? For example, you're on the sidewalk. Yes. And two oblivious pedestrians are passing you, and they don't adopt a single file formation. You can then sue. This is literally.

With this backfire, with this increased manners, thank you. I would get killed. Yeah. I would get fucking killed. You'd be a rich man. I would literally. You would be very litigious. I would be insanely litigious for a month, and someone would kill me.

Yeah. I would fully be killed. You would be killed, and then, like, you would be killed because there would be one infraction on one day. And it would be like... I would fuck with the wrong person. Yeah. You think so? I think so.

It would be like... Well, but suing is... I would be killed like in a mob. Yeah. Would you have to hire people to serve people? And they'd be like, you cut in line. And then you would like hand them... They have to be served the paper?

And then I would basically be watching. I'd see the guy serving the paper would cut someone off on the sidewalk. And I'd be like, you know what? You know what? The system's corrupt. The system's corrupt. This whole damn system's corrupt.

The manner system? I would go, this would become my life. If this was a job? I would see, well, would you be a lawyer or you, you say you'd be like a slip and fall.

You would, but you could bait people into being rude to you as well. Yeah. I wouldn't do that. I would, I would be, I would be like, um,

uh, I'd be like Soviet authoritarian. Oh, the Gestapo. Yeah. I see. It would be like, uh,

you'd be like out there like when Harmony Corinne made like fight harm, like getting people to like, just be rude. I would, no, I would be, I'm upholding the law. I would not be corrupt.

Oh, really? Instead of trying to get into fights, just getting people to like cut you in line. Just being like, having your friend filming that just like that's guys' manners are.

I literally, I would, that would be my dream job. Yeah. Is being a manners cop. A manners cop on the sidewalk. Okay, walk me through your day as a manners cop.

And me and Patrick will be, will be the, perps. I would, let's see. Where are you going first to try to patrol? I definitely would hit somewhere really crowded like one of the areas of the train stations, especially somewhere with a lot of vendors, street vendors, because people will stop in the center of the flow. Yes. And this needs to be corrected. Also people, I would make sure that people are standing, if they're standing, they need to stay clear of entryways. And exit so people can. can go where they need to go.

I would make sure, I would direct it. I would start by making sure the flow. It's all about flow. There's a good feng shui. So this is one level of manners. And I specifically think about Myrtle Weikoff, this is a triangular area. I think I would go to areas where there are multiple streets meeting at odd angles, because I think these are hotbeds. And I get, I would start, I would reform it structurally.

And I would make sure there's a flow that people understand. And then I would start picking off the bad actors. Yeah. I see. So this is how you would deal with like New York City, Maine, what about like small town stuff same yeah no like what if like you like it's hot foz style you get like kicked out because you're too good and they're like we don't want you to be as good as you're arresting too you're you're doing too much you're right you're going to send you to a small town

seems nice on the outside but then but then hot fuzz happens they secretly are rude they're secretly rude it's midwest wow they got the fake niceness yeah but what happens if okay so I'm interested in the standard There's a secret society of people going Fuck you A piece of shit Shooting a little tiny middle finger

I don't even care about rude words that much That's not part of the case I think where I See again that's why I would be killed Man I don't I have my own ideas You would be a manor's vigilante The other the other manners cops might not fuck with me

Because I have specific I think we're in the modern age It's okay if you say fucking public Damn it Fetter are you thinking about it out immediately. I think about all this paperwork that I had to do. But what if they send a hitman to be rude to you? Yeah. Well, I would write them a shit man.

A shit man walks up and says, fuck you, string bean. I write them a ticket. Oh, yeah. So they don't, they're not, you know. Yeah. They're not that. I guess this is like tickets.

Nothing really like enforceable. No, you can be executed. Yeah. If you have three tickets. Here's a question. You're in New York City. Okay. You would go up to the cash register at the grocery store and you're

have headphones in, okay? Would you prosecute that? Um, no, I wouldn't, but I would say that's maybe a warning. I think you should, I think at the very least, I think that you should take a headphone out or make it clear that you're pausing whatever you're listening to. Uh, and I think, I think that's another one where it's like, you know, it's not in our modern world. Yeah. It's not that rude. So let me, let me bring you to a different place then. Okay. You're in a small town. Yeah. You go into a country store. okay a general store oh man they have that golden nugget gum in a big barrel by the door what's that you haven't seen this gum the gum it comes in a bag yeah i know oh wait a minute it's more better than any

gum it actually it's the best gum it's that and then there's also the coal the coal yeah the coal is good okay so you this so you're in a bag it's a christmas store it's a christmas store you walk in you get 50 bags of gold 50 bags of coal okay you put it on the on the thing uh-huh you have headphones and you do not take them out. Uh-huh. Now, is it different because the jurisdiction is different? Are they getting charged in a small town? It's probably, I would say it depends on the, on the vibe of the town.

I think that, I think, honestly, it's what makes going to the checkout with headphones rude is if the cashier is trying to talk with you and it's hindering that and you're ignoring them or you're brushing them off. I think if the cashier's not interesting conversation, it's okay to have your headphones in. Okay. That's why you need to take one out or posit so you can catch. the vibe it's in shitheadsville shitheadsville i would i would literally

nuke that the second i got in office here's another twist you're in whoville okay it's the hoobilly or whatever it's called christmas christmas day the jubilee the who hash the who hash no the big day the houville jamboret no they have like the king

of the day chair of cheer i remember the chair of cheer okay okay this person goes to sit on the chair of cheer, okay? And then they sit down and there's a whoopee cushion prank on the chair of cheer. And the mayor is embarrassed. Do you care? Did the mayor sit down or the mayor's just embarrassed? The mayor is embarrassed that somebody sat on that on his day in his damn town.

And he puts you the best damn manners cop in the world on the case. Are pranks bad manners? I don't think so. I don't think they're bad manners. Let's go to the next hypothetical. We've been on this one for way too long. Well, I feel like there's a big, it's a deep well. You think so?

We have all these other people that have these burning questions like this one. Hey, it's Brandon again from the UK. This is really costing me a lot of money. So hopefully you guys include my hypotheticals. But as you may know in the UK, we use the word Muppet. It's sort of a slur, if you will. And I was wondering, what would you guys do? if you were transported into the world of the Muppets,

if you became sort of animated puppet animals. Did you just say, well, well, well, well, well, well, I think in the big question. Well, well, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, because they saw how much it was costing them to call. Oh, I thought maybe. So thank you for getting, letting this be included in the UK. That's kind of you. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, wow, well, okay. If I was a Muppet, I'd be doing that Kermit, I'd be doing that Kermit thing with my arm

a lot. Really? I would think that I would be... When he does that? I could see myself being one of the Muppets that makes one appearance as a way to show

that you shouldn't act a certain way. You know what I mean? Like a smoker or something like that. I would be just a disgusting one off Muppet. It just looks like a puppet. I look like a crank yanker. Yeah.

Okay. And I'm in for about 30 seconds until the camera pans over and Kermit addresses the guy. They use, they reuse all those puppets. Those puppets end up having personalities.

I think I got puppet personality. They got Nigel. He was originally the Kermit of the show and then Kermit did better with ratings. Because it's a frog versus

what is Nigel? Who thought that was a good idea? Nigel was then the conductor. Who thought having a fish main character was a good idea? Even in SpongeBob, the most under the sea show on television. If someone's a fish,

it literally means that they're not important. Yeah. The fish. your NPCs, they're nothing. They're food. They have no attitude or real problems unlike a sponge or a Kermit.

But he had more of a sardonic, sarcastic, sardinic attitude. He acted like a sardine. He was treated like a Sardin. You know what? He was proto Jim. Proto Jim. He was looking at the camera going, well, he's just a Muppet. That's one of the only faces they can make. Yeah, that's true.

They can go mouth open. Yeah. And Jim. Jim Henson. Let's drown that out, man. I'm so glad we got off that manor's crap And so we're talking about Muppet shows What Muppets would we even be in that world? You'd be Walter and Kronkite or whatever up there

Stadler and Waldor? You think I'd be an old man? Yeah, you'd be too old man, I think. Dr. Teeth. Dr. Teeth sounds badass. Zoot. I don't know any of the Muppets. I know all of them.

I know you do. Okay. I would say you would be Big Bird? No, no, no. I know Big Bird. He'd be the saxophone guy. The fuck is Zoot. You're Miss Piggy.

I'm not Miss Piggy. Explain your attitude. I am not. And that voice you just did. That was Miss Piggy. Hello, Kirby. That was spot on. How could you say you're not Miss Piggy when it's the one that you do?

Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, I didn't know you guys got the damn Muppets out there. I'm going to be honest. That's where they filmed all of it. You're fucking kidding me. I know so much about it, man. Okay, then tell me what Muppet you would actually be. I don't know, actually. I don't know who I'd be.

You're too nervous to lock it in. Not Gonzo. I wouldn't be Scooter nor Fuzzy. You'd be Beaker. I'd probably be a motherfuckering. Meep. That's you. And I'd be Honeydew himself.

Your master. You look like Honeydew. I would be your master and I would control you. He's a total. He's a total Zoot. I don't remember who Zoot is. The blue saxophone player. What the fuck is the blue saxophone player?

That's him. That's his vibe. You'd be, uh, you would be the Eagle. I know the Eagle. You would be the Eagle. I don't know the eagle's personality, but I know his picture. Yeah. Sam Eagle, he's a good guy.

Okay. He's got a great. He's a good guy. He loves rules and he's a conservative. He's a normal conservative guy on the right. Yeah, that's what you would be. And he's on my right. And he's on the right of the show.

Yeah. And you would be one of the baby Muppets. Okay. Robin, Kermit's nephew. You'd be Robin. Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking of. Right. The little frog.

Yeah. And you really think I'd be Professor Honeyd do? I think, yeah. That's for some real shit because I honestly feel like him a lot of days. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, well, think about it.

You showed me the gooby. What was my first instinct? Let's put it under a microscope. Yeah. And his first thing was we need to persecute these people. Exactly. Very Sam. Who put gobies in food or put the loaves on the porch.

When did I say that? You said that you want to throw these gross out goons in jail. Yeah. I remember saying that. There's a gross out gang after us. There is. Yeah. And I think it's a coven.

I think it's supernatural. You think it's witches? Yeah. I think there's somewhere. I think it's a craft. Putting boogers and poop and stuff. I think it's the craft, yeah. Ew.

All right, next question. Let's see. We got a few more to go through. I think we said who we would be. Hypothetical question. Hello, well, well, well. I got scared. My name is Nina.

Hello, Nina. And my hypothetical is as follows. If you are being forced at gunpoint to eat a piece of poop, but you could. Back on track. how it is prepared. How would you prepare it? Thank you.

I think we've talked about that. Plenty of seasoning. I guess you know what? Tony Shashorees. Yeah. Tony Shashorees. Maybe they'll send us another box after saying that. Blackened poop.

Even poop would taste good with Tony Shashorees on it. Tony Shashire's more spice. Are you kidding me? No, I think that if you have to eat poop, I don't even know why the gun, the gun thing, disregard the gun. sorry, just say you have to eat poop, how do you want it? You have to eat poop, how do you want it? We don't need to introduce this whole villain.

Wait a minute, we looked this up, remember? We did the chef episode, and there was the guy on Reddit that said suave eating poop is the way to go. Yes. Yeah. So, yeah, I guess we'd all suvete it. I would say, I hope we would do it. I would go smash burger. I feel like that's a way to do it, right?

If you're going to eat poop, lacy edges. You, okay, you know what? A lot of mustard. Long game. You really did gross me out. Really? Yeah. The image of poop being smashed onto a skillet really just like, I had a flash of sickness. Wow.

What came into my head at first, which I think is probably a bad. Probably bad. Potato bun. Probably the bad choice. But for a second, I was like, oh, you could puree it. And then you could just get it down. really fast. That's a better idea.

But it's going to fill your whole mouth. It's going to get in between your teeth and stuff. I'm thinking of trying to approach enjoyment. Yeah. Yeah. You're not going to enjoy it. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Through as fast as possible. And I feel like mustard, ketchup, mayo. Big curveball right here. We have to eat poop, right? Yeah. Nina did not say what animals poop.

Right? A camel. Does this change much for you? No, no, no, no, no. Nina did not say, Nina did not say this is human poop. Bird poop pasta. Nina didn't say this.

Fettuccini, Alfredo. What about the pooping out the coffee beans? What about that? Oh, that doesn't count. The cat poop, that's coffee beans? Yeah. No, but the, I would eat just a divined, or a veined shrimp. Dude, we can't, you know what she meant.

She met a human turd. Yeah, but I mean, we can't, we can't just let that be the, like. And she didn't say that we had. to be ourselves, either. Yeah. My split personality. I won't remember a thing. I would eat poop as Dr. Stinky.

No. No. No. It has to be a human poop. I don't think, replay the question, because I don't think it has to be human poop. I don't think it has to be human poop.

You're just, you're not in the spirit of the question. Yeah, you're trying to find a loophole. You have to insinuated with this type of. I'm just saying, I'm just saying, Nina's not here for us to ask the question. Nina,

you're trying to make some kind of Faustian thing towards eating poop. Some kind of Faustian thing. Bargain? It's going for things. The only thing in the world that's Faustian, it's a bargain. There's other things that are Faustian.

What is it? Oh, no, that was Feist. Feist? I thought that band was called Faust. Oh, okay. You know, one, two, three, four. I don't know it. I declare that time one.

From the iPhone commercial. I don't know it. Well, if it was a Feistian bargain, I'd get an iPhone. Okay. For what, though? A Fausian thing, the more I think about that, the funnier that is. A Faustian pause thing. And also, in what way is this a Faustian bargain?

That we have to eat poop. Yeah, I recall that being. Next question. Hey, podcast about list. Oh, finish your question much? Hey, podcast about list. There's been a hypothetical question going around to our friend group that's kind of tearing us apart. Pretty simple.

Would you rather walk in on your girlfriend's fucking one Scooby-Doo or five shaggy? Thank you. This is a really good question. This is honestly, this is what the hypo line was created for. That is, I would say, that's the best hypothetical question I've heard. heard potentially in my entire life. That is so good. Five shaggis

or one Scooby digging out your girl. It's got to be five shaggis, right? Because I mean... I can pull a Patrick here. I could say, I don't have a girlfriend. Oh, true. That's true. I can say the same thing. I'm married. And my girlfriend. But the

actually, this is, I have no fucking clue. What would you pick? I would... Okay. So, these are straight up... Are they straight up cartoons? Or is is Matthew Lillard. Let's say that it's Lillard. It's Lillard, Casey Kaysam. It's a CGI.

It's a CGI. It's not even a normal. How many people? There's five people that have played Shaggy, right? The five pillars of Shaggy. There's Matthew Lillard, Casey, Kaysam, young Shaggy from the... From Young Shaggy.

From the... We're going Lillard. So it's just five Lillard clones. Well, it is just the Shaggy and... They don't even have to be Lillard. Shaggy and Scooby. Girlfriend, not cartoons. Girlfriends and women in general love Matthew Lillard.

They also, I mean, here's what's great about this question. It's not, would you rather see your girlfriend fucked by five guys or a dog? Yeah. The dog is not a dog. It's a shit. It's an intelligent dog. It's an intelligent dog. Yeah.

It is in everything except body. It is a human with a speech. So if you saw your girlfriend having sex with a normal dog, you'd be like, my girlfriend is abusing this dog. Shaggy, it's like, or Scooby. it's like Scooby. Scooby got gained. Scooby. It's not out of the realm of possibility that he probably was doing that behind the scenes. That Scooby could pick up a human woman and Rocker. Was Scooby motion cap by a real guy? Yeah. Do they have behind the scenes footage?

They're really good photos. There's like, yeah, the airport scene. I think there's a guy in a green suit. That's cool. Yeah. What about Granny do? What if she's... I would rather, okay. Yeah. Side question. If it's going to be Scooby to them, might as well be Granted. There's not a question. It's not a question if I would rather see... It's more possible if somebody to be seduced by Granny Doe. Yeah, I'd rather see my girl getting piped down by

Grinny Doe. Because Granny Doe, she could be like, I thought it was an old lady. Yeah. I genuinely... Scooby versus Granny Doe. Rather have Granny Doe. Five Shaggis versus Scooby. I'm still thinking. I'm buffering. I can't think. I can't get this out of my head. I'm thinking of this all the time now. I think I'm going to go Scoobies. Grand Scooby. I think I might go.

Five scubies? Five scoobies? I think I'd rather get a hundred scoobies instead of one shaggy. No, I think one scooby. Dude, I don't know. It's really tough. That's what's such a good part. And you got the ratio perfect.

Yeah, you did. Yeah, because if it's one shaggy, it's just like. I forget a shaggy. But five shaggy? It's definitely one shaggy over one scoby. I don't even know where the shaggis would go on a woman. Yeah. Five shaggis?

Jesus. Yeah. Jesus, five? I got to call my wife. Yeah. It's up to her. I'm going to text her right now. My phone's over there.

I can't ask. Would you rather? Fuck. While you're texting, let's go to the next question. Would you rather fuck? Five shaggis. So if you're 42 years old and your mom takes away your Instagram account, do you think it's okay to call?

her the C word. I think no. I don't think it's okay to call your mom. Yeah, I'd want to know what you did or what this hypercritical person did to get their Instagram account taken away. I think this is more of a question you want us to answer for you.

This is more for the Manners Police. Yeah. And I also, again, I'm not in the Rude Words division so I can't really speak on this. I'd have to transfer another department. Sea word. Sea words are pretty bad one to be calling Mamas.

Unless you're British. If you're British, you're my best friend. Yeah, yeah. Or Australian. My mom is a right proper. Yeah. For British people, that's like you're saying like, hey bestie. Yeah.

That's their version of. I would say that this is going to be a no for me dog. Remember that? Yeah, just don't say it. Just do not call your mom. Say something else. Call her a stupid bitch slut who fucks five shaggy and one scooby. Stay away from the sea word.

But don't go see word. But you can say that she's worthless and that she's fat. Yeah. Here's a C word you can. call your mom. Charming. Oh, that's good. Or Carol, if that's her name. Yeah. C. Karen. Karen, is pretty rare to spell

Karen with a C. It could happen. Things have happened in the UK. Interesting names. All right, let's hear another. Hey, this is Grant, and I was just wondering what you would do. If you saw a streaker and they had your exact penis. I wouldn't say anything. I mean, you suck it.

Yeah, you don't say anything. I'd say, whoa. And I'd say what? And I'd say, uh, Nothing, man. Borette and his son's style photo, me and me and the penis. I would start asking people what they thought of his penis. Because then I could get, you kind of get to get an idea of what. I'm going to get something out of it. You know, I'm not going to walk around showing people my penis, but they're looking right at it.

What if you saw it with your wife and your wife said something about it? She said, oh my God, that thing was small. You'd just be like, yeah, man. Yeah, it was, that was crazy. That was small. That's crazy. small man was. I guess I would...

I probably wouldn't do anything. Yeah, I would just be taking notes on the reactions. Yeah, I would, yeah, I would pick. It would be helpful. I would take a pick, of course. My God, they're all screaming. Everyone's screaming and covering each other's eyes. He's being arrested?

The penis is that terrible? That he's being fucking arrested at the football game? God damn it. Okay, I guess I'm never having sex again. I'm scared. I'm going to get arrested. All right. I think we only have a few more. Yeah, there's two more. Hey guys, would you rather be a little mouse eating a piece of cheese or be one of jelly rolls tattoos on his face?

And yeah, that's where you live. Okay, bye. Mouse. Mouse eating cheese sounds delightful. Would you rather be a creature that's in its greatest paradise or would you rather be a line? Yeah. That's what you just asked. A drawing.

A drawing on a fat guy. Or would you rather be having the best day ever? What a fucking joke of a hypothetical. Yeah, I'd be a mouse eating cheese. Of course. Yeah. God damn. I mean,

wasting my time. Yeah. All right. Well, let's hear the final. What if sketch and that rise beast over hawk toa? Now, this one's interesting. This one, I feel like we could dive into a little bit. Isn't that, isn't that today?

Isn't today the Pookie reveal? Pookie reveal. Has it dropped yet? Pookie will be revealed. Julio, please show us the Pookie. We need to see Pookie reveal. Wait, I missed a call. Maybe it was Pookie.

Maybe it was. Meet X. Haley Welch man. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my God, it's... Where is it? Where the fuck is it? This is from October 2nd. Yeah.

Oh, man, this is... Where is the pooky reveal? Show us the pooky. Just look up. Look up pooky reveal. Just search pooky review. Yeah, it'll show up. This is the biggest news.

This is bigger than the election to me right now. This is huge. I really am excited to know. Oh, one hour ago. One hour ago. Wait, click this people.com thing. Haley Welch reveals. Who is it?

Who is it? Oh, my God. who is it it's not Jake Paul is it Blackwell a plumber oh it's a guy it's just a random guy yeah it's pooky

oh it's pooky he looks good though I mean he seems he seems like a great guy yeah just based off his body I mean and any you know what I will say who can see the beauty

and the kind of the creative power yeah and you can look past what she's famous for being basically right exactly but she she spit on

his thing. And that's beautiful. We don't know that. We don't know that. We don't know that. We don't know that. We don't know that yet. He's just pooky. Well, I bet they get into that a little bit. They dig into it. He kind of looks. I'd like to do. He looks kind of rifey. It's a puky. Oh, yeah. He looks kind of right. He does look right. That is rifey. Yeah. Haley Welch and Pookie.

Okay. So sorry. What if Matt Rife and sketch beefed over Hock toa? I mean, it's definitely it's possible. That's the thing about it is it's almost too far. It's almost not even in the realm of hypothetical. I could see that. I could see that in the headlines. You know why I don't think I get that? Ganglion shooting over. I think that our friend Pookie over here might have a serious

problem with those two. If they started beefing over his girl. Doesn't mean that they couldn't beef over. We need to become the Pek she's in it. We need to be the Pookie Protection Squad. Do we need to be the PeeP Production Squad? No, the Pookie Protection Squad. I'm about to be the PeeP Production Squad in a minute. I got to

go. I got to go. I got to go. I think that Matt Rife would beat Sketch within an inch of his life. Yeah, that's the sad reality You beat the shit out of him Sketch is like five feet tall Was sketch gay? Yeah Sketch is a guy who was gay

Yeah He was gay But he's no longer Now he's hocked to it Yeah Is he still gay? I don't know Yeah

And personally I don't care I don't care about these kinds of things Doesn't make me think anything No Yeah It doesn't make me think about it either Don't think about it

Imagine it Yeah I don't think I don't But I did think you look pretty In the one picture I saw from back when he was gay and that's perfectly good

so to answer your question Matt Rife would destroy him so to answer your question Matt Rife yes I think that you could could do it do it all right well congratulations to the happy couple Haley and Pookie yeah thank you for call

thank you for all of your calls as always those are nice yeah those are great questions some of them I'm going to be thinking about forever the Shaggy and Scooby one let's see did my wife text me back that's the winner big fucking surprise no. But I will make sure

that on the next episode we get an answer. And we will also be looking at the pile remnants of the pile under a microscope. So don't watch this week's premium episode if you don't want to see a pile of if you hate science, stay away.

All right. Good night. And you know we got to plug well Patches has a play. Yep. What came out of Mason's hole. Came up from Mason's Hole. It's on Instagram, I believe it was just Mason's Hole on Instagram. And do we have anything else?

Is there? January, we're going to be in Chicago. Oh, yeah, Chicago. That's January. Tomorrow, never knows the festival. And Thanksgiving's coming up. That's true. So make sure.

I love when I have to pee and we get to this style of plugs. This is the best feeling. Okay. You can stop. Wait, real quick before we go do the next, the next Madlib. Can I say something about the election that I've been thinking about? Yeah. That's been on my mind. I think that, honestly, I think that Kamala Harris,

I think she put her whole pussy into the campaign. Yes. But it turned out her pussy stank like shit. You've been waiting to say this. Been thinking about it. You've been thinking about it? Don't you guys think that's accurate? Yeah, I think it's accurate.

Do you think that her pussy really stunk or metaphorically speaking? She put her whole pussy into the campaign. Turns out her pussy stank like fucking shit. Metaphorically. So my question, I have an interesting question. So if there was a male candidate running for president, Would you also say... He dipped his whole balls down into the campaign.

And it turns out they were hairy as motherfuck. That's really what you... You really think you would say that. Well, if he ran, if it was... Because a woman ran, and now you're talking about... It's all about her pussy and how green it is. I didn't say anything about greenness. Well, you said stink.

Stink? That's a line. A green line. The pussy itself is pink. Well, I don't know. You think she got a pink one? I think so. Yeah.

We should have to... Turns out it was pink as fucking shit. It's too pink. It turned the country red. It did. Well, damn. The pink pussy turned the country red. What the fuck going on?