Podcast About List - Ep. 322 - The New Year's Mix-Off

Episode Date: January 1, 2025

You know how the saying goes: new year, new trail mix. Please make sure to try these at home! Subscribe to us on YouTube youtube.com/@PodcastAboutList Buy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/shows Get extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist Follow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

Welcome to the new year. Oh, my God. It's back. 2025, man. I didn't think I was going to make it this long. No. I didn't think so either. I think nobody thought you would make it to this year.

No. But you are. Well, you know, it's not 2025 yet when we're recording this. Yeah. There's still time for me to die. I feel like we've jinxed him pretty hard.

You will be dying. You know what? I'll reverse jinx you. I'll say, there's no fucking way you're making it to 2025. You're going to die tomorrow. In fact, I'm going to kill me. Or, you know what?

Not even die. You're just going to leave. you're just going to nobody's going to ever hear you from you again. So it's not death, it's just me leaving the world. Just goneness.

Okay. And it could be like a Felix Baumgartner and you fall, you go to jump back. Yeah. What's his whole thing? His whole thing is he going to the I watch that.

I watched that video for the first time yesterday. I had heard about it happening 10 years ago when it happened or whatever, but I never watched the video. It's completely made me believe that everything is fake. Yeah. There's no way that this is real. He went a thousand miles an hour and jumped from space into the world.

And the last thing he said before it did it was, I'm coming home. That's kind of sick. How cool is that? But he did not land at his home. He didn't. No, he probably landed somewhere in India. He failed. Yeah.

He's like, okay. Probably India. Nobody. There's no way to know. There's no way to know, but India is a huge country. It's big. by landmass. Well, how does he...

And they probably thought that he was some kind of angel or something. Was that like... No, because the world... Never mind. The world is a sphere. Imagine he landed on like

North Sentinel Island or something. There's no way he didn't land like where he started out because he's going in a straight line. Right? Well, hold on. That's...

But let me throw something out here for you. A plane doesn't fly straight up. That's a good point. And I don't think that a space shuttle does either, though maybe it does. I'm no expert. Yeah, what fucking device did they... I need to learn more about Mr. Baumgartner.

We'd often know how long you stayed up there because the... As the World Turns, as that one soap opera once said, the name of it was that. Was it that? As the World Turns. I thought it was called Days of Our Lives. There's different ones. Yeah, there's multiples. Yeah.

As the world turns is also the name of an M&M song. And Eminem is circular like... And Eminem and M&M. The world. Oh, the world. And Eminem is like an M&M and M&M. And you know what I'm realizing right now. Now, as I look down and I realize that I'm talking about Felix Baumgardener, and I'm drinking

a red oil. Yeah, so microchipping is real. That is insane. And, you know, I never go for the Red Bull. I'm very rarely like grabbing a Red Bull. He's sponsored by Red Bull? But he did it for Red Bull. But it works. Today, I was at the Walgreens buying it. He did it for a Red Bull? He did it because there's a Red Bull. He's really tired. He said, I'm so tired. Oh, I guess I'm going home. And he was like, I'm going home. And then he jumped down to get a Red Bull. But he went, he probably jumped back. up after the guy. He made it a sonic boom. Really? He broke the sound barrier. Okay, you do it right now with your hands. Do it right now.

I don't want to because it's going to break this equipment. Isn't it a whip crack? Technically a sonic boom? A wood crack? A whip crack? A whip crack. It's a sound. If you're sure, you can do it. No, I don't know what a sonic boom is. I think a sonic boom is when you break the sound barrier. Yeah. Which means that it goes boom. Well, a whip crack is breaking the sound barrier. Is it though? Is it though? I think that's just the two pieces of a whip. See, the thing is, you could be completely right. I have no idea. Yeah, I know. I don't either. That's something, there's so many things that I've like heard in my life and then I just tuck it away, but then I don't remember if I, like, it's, it's so like a thing about you though

is you have a really good memory for this type of thing. So I'm inclined to believe you. That could be completely right. I think that you saw this. It's not a type of sonic boom, but it definitely breaks the sound barrier. It's a type of sonic boom. If you break the sound barrier, that is a sonic boom. It must be a sonic boom. It has to be a type of a sonic boom at the very least.

It's like a light boom. A light boom is a different thing. That'd be breaking the speed of light. Okay. Which is very fast. No, I mean like L-I-T-E. Boom-Lite. Boom-Light.

Boom-Lite. That's a good name for an energy drink. It's a light. Oh my God. Wait a minute. Boom-light for the Costco guys if they ever get into beer.

Uh-huh. Boom-L-L-W-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-L. You're going to give that. You're have to give that. that about 12 years or something for a big justice to get I know older well AJ AJ's not gonna drink beer on camera man

yeah does he not is he's gonna wait he must be he does look at the his focus his clarity of mind yes and his lack of bloating yeah you never see you never see him rosy rosycia no he's not red at all no he's not even a little bit red

no he's not he's not he doesn't yeah doesn't have any ballooning or bloating in any part of his body zero he looks no and he never looks like he had a long night never never he does he does strike me as the type of guy to be like uh like newly sober like a guy where sobriety changed his life i think he's a i feel like he's really hard i think he's nearly sober every day yeah wake up 30 seconds sober every morning sober yeah think he think he's just bounding back he's got him and jimmy ballin before that he's got like a kirkland signature like

like like 60 rack yeah him and fallon definitely fucking twisted one on right before i do you see The Fallon, it was a podcast. I forget whose podcast it was. I got it on Instagram real. Was Fallon talking about the interview he did with the Rizzler? What was his explanation? And he was like, it was so funny. Yeah, he was like really trying to play it off.

He was like, and they were going like, boom, boom. And I was like, yeah, I love it. He was like, he went exactly. I was like, yeah, I love it. He put his hands up and wave. How do you go from being? He said the Rizzler shushed him multiple times. It's funny to hold that against.

That's not a show. I know, well, he thinks that he's being shushed. That's crazy. He just doesn't understand. He doesn't get the Rizzler. That's so sad, man. How do you go from being one of the, one of my comedic idols to being this fucking disgusting, he's fowling drunk piece of shit?

He's fouling down the stairs. Remember that? Yeah. Oh, I remember that. Is that video of him falling down the stairs? Yeah. That was amazing. I bet he had to Jimmy open the locks on his front door, too, because they changed a

wife changed the locks, drunk piece of shit, fell asleep in a truck outside. He was falling asleep in the truck. He's fowling up to sleep at the wheel. And that's Jimmy Deer. Tonight. Yeah. And he ate Jimmy Dean in the morning. He did.

Yeah, he woke up. I mean, he does it every day. He had some falcon eggs. And a Jimmy Dean sausage. He left out some falcon eggs by the chimney. For Christmas. For Santa's Claus. Because Santa's tonight.

Santa's coming tonight Santa's coming tonight show me those presents We need to know Jimmy Fawn's middle name This is painful Jim There has to be more I'm gonna guess

I'll look it up Edwin You can't do it Edwin All right Lion the witch and the wardrobe ass motherfucker That's Edmund

Yeah but it's like that Yeah I said ass motherfucker That means like As motherfucker could be Jimmy Jimmy ass motherfucker Middle name

Jimmy Fallon Okay, I searched Jimmy Montrose Fallon. I actually searched Jummy Fallon Middle Murr, so it didn't come up. Thomas. Thomas. That's a respectable James Thomas Fallon. Thomas of the drink engine. Jimmy Thomas.

Oh, Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy Fallon. Well, they did that. That he was on SNL. Yeah, I remember. Jimmy. Fallon.

Remember? Yeah, that would be funny as funny. But imagine, though, imagine, James Thomas Fallon. That's good. That's interesting.

J.T. Fallon? J.T. Fallon. A shit. A writer. A writer. Remember he had that song, that song that he had a music video for on MTV. What was it going like?

I forget the name of the whole, it's like he put out an album of songs. And one of the songs was just about how he's like a terrible boyfriend at meeting someone's parents for the first time. I got in my mom's car when we were at Christmas to go pick up my brother because he was coming into the airport. Yeah.

And we're driving and we drove like probably 20 minutes and she had like Christmas music on in the background. And I looked and I realized that she had been playing all of the Seth MacFarlane Christmas album. I was like, do you like Seth McFarland? She was like, yeah, he's probably my favorite singer right now. he honestly I I had a similar thing well I just got really into crooners over Christmas I was truly yeah yeah true yeah I got I was I was the driving crooner because I was you can't drive you're the riding crew I was the passenger crooner yeah but I what happened

was my mom left driving crooner on board that's a good sticker let's put that sticker Yeah. Driver on board. Yes. But she had the Andy Williams Christmas music playing, and then Andy Williams cover of that song, MacArthur Park came up. And I was like,

this is fucking amazing. And then I just became obsessed with that song. So then on the bus ride back, I did a ranking of every single cover of it. To who? To myself. I have it in my notes app. That's what I had.

I just couldn't think of anything to do. There's like 200 versions of it. You rank, but how many you rank? I ranked, 20. The top 20? What was this? Give me the guy. You got to drop it. Okay. Number one, obviously, it's Donna Summer. Okay. The MacArthur

by her and Georgia O. Marauder. Okay. That goes incredibly hard. It's also got some of her own songs in it. Like heaven knows, that's a fucking, that's a good one. Okay. Then number two, uh, oh, fuck, I don't remember. I think it was. And you suck.

Oh, no, no, no. The four tops. Four tops. That one's good. Andy Williams, number three. Nancy Sinatra These boots are made for walking I forget who five was Maybe it was Richard Harris The guy originally sang it

Okay wow You gotta show respect to the legend I don't know if Richard Harris Dumbledore Dumbledore saying it What's the first guy to sing that one The first Dumbledore or the second Dumbledore? I forgot to be the first one

The second one is too young It's the one The one that I think it's the second one There's no way it was It was either the second or the first one I don't know which one it was Yeah that's the two versions

That's either of the second one was one of the double doors. Fantastic Beasts. Fantastic. I think my friend, not that it wasn't Jude Law. It could be. He could put out a song. Jude Law was doing midnight in the garden of Good New York City. I would not be surprised if Jude Law put out a Christmas song. You wouldn't be surprised

that. Jude Law put out. No, I wouldn't be surprised about that either. He strikes me as a sexual male slut. A bit of a male slut. Yeah. You know what I kept seeing this? Because we drove down to North Carolina. So horrible. Such an awful. It was like 13 hours on the way down. I'm sorry. It was the three. Richard Harris is number

seven. I kept seeing this bumper sticker that was like, you know how they'll, you know how they'll have the bumper sticker. They had to do the verse about the cake being left out in the rain. I don't even know this song. It's really good. It's in Beetlejuice too. The, the, uh, you know the bumper sticker that's like patient new, uh, student driver? Yeah. I kept seeing one that said patient new driver. That's so I've seen that way more than student driver. What the fuck is. How big of a pussy are you that you put you like. Well, there's already, there's already, there's already a. There's already a. towards students. But what, new driver? Yeah. Well, that's maybe... You just started driving. I like that you just upgrade the sticker that you pay for it just says like, I suck.

Yeah. I'm awful at this. I shouldn't be doing this. Everybody hates me. Well, that's a good, that's a good sticker to have. That's better than new driver. I suck. I suck. Be patient.

I suck. Be patient. I'm a fucking piece of shit. They should give that sticker to my wife, man. She cannot drive at all. Yeah. Dude, I was like, every time that we were driving on the, on the way up, I was like gripping.

the dog because I was like worried about me and this dog are going to die yeah this will be a full death that's all right it'll happen all the way death yeah god I hope not happens it happens to everyone name one Richard Harris I think is dead who's that the guy who's saying

Dumbledore 1 2 or 3 oh the Dumbledore 1 is dead yeah Dumbledore 1 is dead was that Richard I heard a story about it's one of the Dumbled doors he's not a Dumbledore one of the Dumbledore one of the Dumbledore he has to be I'm pretty sure Richard Harris was Dumbledore But one of the Dumbled doors was such a bad alcoholic that he owned a Rolls Royce and then forgot about it.

And then it was in a parking garage for like 30 years. And he would just get the bill. And I think it was like a $400 a month parking thing. So it was just like, I mean, he had so much money from Harry Potter that he was just like. Right. The Dumbled bucks. Yeah. Yeah.

He was paying in shillings. Yeah. But yeah, he like fully just had a Rolls Royce that he did. he forgot about. I have one too that I don't remember. Well, you better fucking find it.

It sounds like you remember it. I don't know. I have it at all. Really? Well, yeah, I'm thinking about it right now. I'm like, I have no fucking clue

where it could be. I don't remember buying it. I don't remember ever driving it, riding in it. So I must have forgotten. If he's alive, you should hit up Richard Harris and ask him where that one's parked.

Yeah. Maybe it's a same one. Who's the dead tower? That's true. Yeah. There's only one who died. Mr. S. Yeah.

We won't give the full name, but an assassin by Mr. the name of Mr. S.S. The S.S. Whoa. He killed him. That is true. Yeah. His initials are S.S.

And Dumbledore. And Dumbledore famously, I mean, the only Jewish character. Dude, people are now going to know that it's a Slytherin kills Dumbledore. A Slytherin. It goes by S. Slytherin does something to Dumbledore. Dumbledore is the only canonically Jewish character in. Is that true?

That's not true. It's Anthony Goldstein. According to J.K. Rowling on Twitter. You guys never saw that? Yeah, I did. That's the classic. I forgot. Somebody does at J.

J.K. rolling. Are there any Jewish wizards at at Hogwarts? And you replied that's Anthony Goldstein and Ravenclaw. Yeah. Making the one the one Jewish dude in the Ravenclaw. Ravenclaw's fire, man. Aren't they the ones that are like, aren't they're the ones that's like? Dude, at least you didn't say that he was a goblin. Yeah. She could have. She really easily could. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, New Year's resolutions go.

Dude. I got to get back in the gym for sure. Okay. Look at, I mean, look at me I'm looking to lose 100 pounds yeah I'm trying to lose 150 pounds I'm trying to gain 150 pounds I'm gonna go that's not my resolution no no breakfast 2025 wow wow okay I'm not gonna live in my life

man yeah man and I thought I'm pretty happy with the resolution I thought of for no dinner either I just decided I want you going omad no what was it what other oh lunch nah no no food omics only oh zip

I'm doing zero meals I'm doing T-SAM I'm doing T-SAD, 10 snacks a day. That's good. Diet. That's good. That's basically how I live right now. 10 snacks a day.

I basically am leaving zero-mad T-sad. Zero mad, T-sad. Zero meals a day, 10 snacks a day. My resolution this year is I'm going to turn over a new leaf. That's a good one. Dude. I'm pretty excited about it. Just turn over a new leaf.

Just change it up. Just turn over a new leaf. Yeah. Just turn it. You know what I'm thinking I'm thinking I'm going to switch it up on. Yeah. This year. And I was like, I just wanted to say, too, like, if any, so, like, you know,

if you guys or anybody else who knows me, you know, notice I'm acting differently or, like, I do something, you're like, that's weird. He's never done anything like that before. New Leaf. New Leaf, yeah. The Leaf's new. You know what I'm thinking now you've inspired me to maybe change my resolution. Okay.

I think I'm going to leave no stone unturned. Wow. Yeah. Like, kind of like a person who's trying to solve the death of their daughter. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to solve some crimes. That's good.

I'm thinking of going this, this, this, I'm thinking this year, it's my way or the highway that's a good one it's good it's not great yeah it's good you know it's like a little it's like a little rude my way or the highway all year 2025 yeah that's kind of uncooperative I'm going to flick you off that's your resolution that's a bad resolution yeah that's like a one and done here it comes it's not even the new year yet I'm going to flick you off I mean technically you're going to waste your resolution in this year today is 24 Dude, where it comes. Dude, you're not even worried about this.

I truly, I don't care about getting flicked off. Oh, there's an accident outside. That's okay. Complete problem. Yeah. You're going to care once it happened, I think. It's a robot. I think it's a troll, dude.

It's the troll in the dungeon. It's a troll. Yeah, we're talking about Dumbledore so much. Stop. Stop. Just, I'm not even looking at it. Stop. Stop.

Stop. You have been flicked off by the flick-off master. I hate the fuck off. It's terrible. My bag. Your bag? Like, that's my bag. Oh, okay.

Oh. Like, my fault. No, it's bad. Or B. My B. Yeah, B could be anything. It could be bag. It's not, that's my bag.

That's my bag. Oh, my bag, man. My bag, man. You never heard people say that. That's my bag. I've heard people say my bad. Yeah, well, that's like a regional difference. I'm bad.

In the south, we say that's my bag. Oh, okay. Who says I'm a bag. a bag. Bagman. Well, but the bag men are not even around anymore. I've seen a few bag men. No, you haven't.

I have. No, man. That's a relic of a lost time. No, no, no. Speaking of relics of lost time, bro, I've been playing the Indiana Jones game called the Great Circle, man. That's the one where you hit a dog with a whip. You do kill a lot of dogs. You can't kill the dogs.

You can only whip them. I can fucking kill the dog. That's why I heard. They bite the fuck out of you, man. That's what I heard. Well, you shoot them and they run away. It pisses me. off when you can't kill a dog any game.

Yeah. Not because I'm walking around killing them, but every once in a while, you let it just be, I mean, you just let me a simulation. You're going to ruin my immersion. Here's something too, you know what? The kindness toward an animal doesn't mean anything if there's

not that you don't have the opportunity to kill it. That's a good point. You're not making a moral choice. What makes petting the dog so nice and kind is that I could shoot it in the head. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. You have no, there's no moral standard because there's only one option. All you can do is pet it.

Exactly. Give me the option to be good or evil. It's the illusion of choice. Exactly. 100%. It's not even an illusion at that point. I guess, I mean, you can like, I mean, whipping the dog's pretty bad, too. But it's not as bad.

It's not that bad to, it is good. It's not that bad to whip a dog. No, it's just discipline. Yeah. Many people have whipped dogs. Yeah. Many people have killed them too. Much.

Yeah. This shit. That's true. And whipped our, uh, mush, mush, mush. This shit is crazy. I did a row. Why do you mush the dogs to make them go? Yeah.

Because those dogs are horses. They are horses a little bit. Mush. Ew. Kind of a nasty word. Reminds that oatmeal. Yeah. He's mentioning the snow.

Out of respect. He's mentioning it. He's got a bitch in the snow. Mush. Mush. Yeah, we know it's mush. Mush. No, it was complete fucking mush.

Yeah. Okay, we'll run. Dude, I was speaking of snow. Maybe, sorry to interrupt, but I think I figured it out. I think he's promising the dog's mush. Oh, that makes a lot more sense. Yeah. That does make sense.

of me. Dude, I feel like, well, I was reading of Snow, I was reading about the Donner Party. Yeah. And I feel like every time I, every time I read something about a historical event, there's always someone whose name is almost Patrick Dorian. Well, there was that one.

You've been throughout his, yeah. The guy in the Donner Party was named Patrick Dolan. And he was the guy, he was the guy who suggested they eat the people. He was like, guys, I think we should eat the dead bodies. And I was like, no, what are you talking about? Then he died and they ate. Oh, damn, that hurts, man. They, like, died immediately after suggesting that.

And just immediately, they were like, no, man, we don't want to do that. No, in my fucking luck, I would have been seated. I would have been like, they would have been like, oh, we don't have enough room in the back. We hold this big thing of barbecue sauce and then crash and it spills all over me. Can you hold this all over? Dude, you know what? Before they ate the people, I was reading this, they really, they like, the people when they ate each other, that was like truly the last resort. because I read,

they were eating like the curtains and the rugs and the cabin. They were eating every single part of the house that they were in.

I thought that they were outside the whole time. Well, they were in like, uh, and like, uh, and like it was like

they got stuck in a mountain pass and there was like, they were in like different like little like outposts. My whole, and it was cold. It was cold as fuck there was like 20 feet of snow

or something. My whole perception of the Donner party is completely skewed by Mr. Matt and Trey. Cannibal the Musical Yeah, true as fuck

Have you seen this? I have not seen that Isn't that about a different guy? No, it's about Alfred Packer Is that from the Donner Party? Yeah, he was the only survivor, right? I feel like when I was reading about the Donner Party It mentioned that movie

As being about something else Who's the... I thought it was the Donner Party But I haven't seen it so I don't know What's the plane crash where they ate all the bros? Oh, that's the Andy's flight It was like 19702 or something Yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, and they ate their friends You hate your friends. Meanwhile, there's a bunch of mints on that mountain. Yeah, that's true. It's a good boy. They've got a million of those in every olive garden. Yeah, I mean, it's chocolate. They mine it from the Andes Mountains.

The chocolate and the mint mines. Oh, we have to eat our friends because we would hate having such fresh breath right now. Fucking assholes. Yeah, it's disgusting. Yeah. Would you ever eat, if we got on a private plane and we crashed into the middle of Los Angeles, I'd be, no, because I would eat. I'd rather eat you.

than anything that they're making in Los Angeles. That's right. That's right. Disgusting taco trucks. Gross, yeah. Just eating your friend because you're like, oh, it's too expensive. Yeah, the aeron is too expensive.

Seamoss. I die, though. I die in the thing. I don't remember what it was. I had something that I think had Seamoss in it, and I remember taking a sip and then just spitting it out. Yeah. It was so disgusting.

Yeah, let's find a grosser kale. Yeah. Guys, yeah, that's seriously what I want. Yeah, that's what I want in a smoothie. Dude, you know what I'm sick of is this charred crap. Yeah. Oh, Swiss chard? Oh.

Knock it off with the veggies, though. Yeah. Real shit. Hey, restaurants. Knock it off with the veggies. I'm sick of them. I really don't need that shit. You know what I was saying I was singing about yesterday?

What? I don't remember why. Hamburgers? No. But I was singing about them a couple days ago. Nice. That's a good thought to have. It's just, this is kind of just a wouldn't it be cool, cool or crazy?

Wouldn't it be cool? What if there was like kind of like? kind of like a serial killer or a or an assassin or something. It was a predator. Well, I was going to say presidential assassin, but I widened it out to this assassin. Well, you know, they always do the three names.

What if his name was Patrick Caleb Cameron? Wow. That would be interesting. Well, that would be a horrible last name, I would say. Cameron? Yeah. Some people have that last name. David Cameron.

Yeah. Diaz Cameron. That's correct. Wait, what? Cameron Diaz is. James Cameron. James Cameron. An animated one, Diaz Cameron.

Cameron Diaz is their name. No, Cameron Diaz is from the Mass. Cameron Days. That's her fucking name. If you translate it. D.S. D. Is she Spaniard?

I think she's white Cuban. Really? I'm, again, this could not be true. This is the year of Make-em-Up for old Patty. I know. It's because I can't look stuff up anymore. Oh, yeah. You don't get to be fact-checked anymore.

So now everything I say, now word is bombed. We can, now we can just build off that. You know, I think both of you have last, first names that can be last names. I don't. I don't think... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's plenty of people with the last name, Patrick.

I think you're saying last names that could be first names. I don't think I've ever met a Doren. Unless it was Battlefront too. Oh, unless you're a rhyme with a legend. Doran's sword and Doren's shield. They spell it like me? Yeah, I think so.

They named it after me. They're obsessed. That's what I'm saying. Every historical event, there's someone whose name is almost yours. Yeah. It is true. I do think that you might have a

a Jack from the Shining type of life. That could be true. You have happened many times. If you look up every if you look up Patrick Doran it's always like it's always like the stupidest guy in history like there's that one

like don't believe that no there was remember there was that one you could have been a genius there's that one Patrick Doran could have been a genie every single person that has my name has done something there's like the Irish traveler who kept breaking into houses someone found that and then

reposted it and said this is this is not good you guys need to comment on this yeah Yeah. And then there was the other one, Patrick Doran, who illegally bought a dump truck. Yeah. And killed a baby.

I remember this one. Yeah. And he bought the name. He bought it under the name Jacob Fury. Which is so fucking cool. That's the stupidest thing ever. Jacob Fury. It's like, oh, I can't go by my real name.

What's the name I'm going to pick? Jacob Fury. And then somebody found a video of that guy. Uh-huh. And they sent it in the Discord And the video is just called Fat Patrick Doran And it's him eating a chicken nugget in the car Okay

You're a genie Yeah Twist the wishes And also what do you get Well first of all What do you get put into? Wait By your master

Why am I a genie? Yeah instead of We just think you'd make a good genie It's just a little bit This is an exercise Okay Then ask me a wish First instead of a lamp

What's your What do you don't get a lamp What rubs You've never seen one of these lamps you get to rub you to rub you to get you to going to maybe like a jewel case a jewel case or an incense burner that's shaped like me or yeah just a little thing that's shaped exactly like you it looks exactly like just a perfect ceramic figure of you where does the incense go and the incense is in my hand okay no you would have a funny one speaking of speaking of uh-huh uh my girlfriend got rid of one that I found on the street that I was like this is the coolest thing ever uh-huh it was an incense burner that's a samurai holding it like it's like it's like it's like a samurai holding it like it's like it's like a like a bow staff and she was like we already have one oh we already have one and it's nicer than this and you didn't stand up for your for your item i left i left the apartment and then i in a huff i left the apartment to come here for work and then i came home and it was in a box outside and i was

like well did you pick it up i can't bring it back in dude because it was put out yeah it's put out take it back i should have if you like it just take it back should have taken i should have brought it here No, we don't need an incense burner That's the last thing we're here Sometimes I feel like it would be nice Maybe a candle I don't think we have an incense burner Yeah

I like the smell of I like that Nogtumpa Okay, you go into an incense burner That looks exactly like you I think you'd be so good at coming up With twists on wishes Okay I feel like you guys are made for Me and Cameron are twin

We're twins Blonde twins Blonde twins from Norway Wow We're Norwegian twins We're the Da Vincii twins Yeah No, we're 18 years old. We're 18 years old. We just turned 18. We just figured out about wishes. We have no hair on our lives. Is there rules to, do you have like, do you have like? Yep. See, this is what I mean. It's a really good. Do you have rules? Do you have rules like Aladdin's genie has rules? Yeah. Well, okay. But it's the same rules. Sing your intro song. Yeah.

Let's rubbed. You rub me. And now I am free. get wishes three. Okay. Do we each get three? Or is it because we're twins? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry, one more question. Six wishes for two twins.

Six each? Six each. Split up evenly. So two and two. But no one wins. Well, don't tell us that. Then we don't want to use our wishes, man. You're not going to be able to twist them.

Unless you. Okay, I'm going for it. Wish number one. I wish for a mansion that I can live in for free. Yeah. You're now living in a man's chin. What man? I don't know yet.

You're now living inside of a man's chin. And you get to live there for free. See, great at twisting it. Okay, I want to be able to talk to fishes. Okay. What kind of fish is that? Dude, what is that? I could use it.

All the fishes are dead. You can only talk to sushi. Okay, that's fine. Yeah, I mean, but that means you can't ever eat sushi or not that much of a wish to begin with. Wait, that's a pretty good wish. You can't eat any seafood anymore. Literally, Aquaman's whole power. You can't eat seafood anymore because all you can hear is the screams of fish.

Well, I don't like seafood in the first place. Okay. No, but when you walk through the sushi aisle and the seafood aisle. I hear screaming. You hear screaming. I wish. They say, help me, help me. Please don't eat me.

That's fucking scary. Yeah. I wish to gain an appreciation of all things. okay hold on an appreciation of all things this is kind of an abstract this is very abstract an appreciation of you want a very abstract how could you possibly even know what that means well if you want to appreciate all things that means that you're going to appreciate things like racism in society oh shit sexism homophobia transphobia okay so now you love all that I appreciate it.

You appreciate all that's it. And that thunder was the clap of my twist. The clap of doom that comes from my twist. Okay. I would like... So he's at two wishes. This is your second one. I want to do it with a genie.

It's an old woman named Jeannie. No. No. It's an old woman named Jeanne. She has dementia. No, I can't do that. Yeah, I know. That's why this is.

such a horrible twist. I want it to be acceptable and awesome for me having a relationship with my twin or a sexual or romantic relationship. And we get two tries at this one because I still got a wish of it. Okay. So you're going to have a relationship with your twin.

Uh, hmm. Hmm. Okay. You want it to be acceptable. You want it to be acceptable, but that means that it's acceptable. for everybody in the world.

So now everyone's just everyone that is a twin because let's face it, twins always want to. They want to do it. Every twin wants to do it with a twin. Now incest is on the rise in the world. It's on the rise. And now birth rates are birth rates.

There's a lot of children now born with deformities and extra limbs. Oh no. So they're incest. I did this. You did this. Wish it away. Dude, you really want to waste my life. I got to clean up your mess every time because I wish second. That's fine.

I appreciate that. I will wish for, let's go classic. Okay. A million dollars, not doll hairs. Not doll hairs. It's a million dollars in Iraqi dinar. A million dollars. Not dinar.

Dollars. Yeah, it's in that, it's a million dollars equivalent in Iraqi dinar. Okay, so it's still a million dollars. But it's, but. you can't exchange it because the way that you got it was through so technically it was a robbery

you are now party to a robbery that happened and they're going to hunt you down and now you're you have to go you're being hunted down by Interpol because this is an international crime okay I would I'm rubbing it again I'm rubbing it again you have to do it

okay so now there's three more wishes now I'm back in the bottle and now you have to now you're wishing me again? Yeah. Okay. So what's your first? When he's not involved?

He's involved. I can be involved. Yeah. So you have to sing the song again. Okay. Yeah, we rub it again. You have set me free again. I will grant you wishes three.

My friends. Oh, shit. We're friends. And we're times. Well, that's my first wish taking care of all that. Okay. Well, but don't tell him that. You're my friend, but I have to stay at your house.

I didn't even wish for that. And you already stay at my house. And you're a little incense holder. I wish for blue. No, I have to stay like, I'm like, now I'm out of the, you wish me out of it. Now all my powers are gone. Well, I didn't even wish for anything. You wished to be my friend.

No, I didn't. Yeah, that's, that's, that's me. I did not, you said my friend. I said, that's my wish taken care of. I did not wish for anything. That's, that's fully true. I would like to. All right, fine.

I rescind it then. I'm back in the bottle. All right. I'm out again. I wish for a million wishes. A million wishes. Okay. So you were getting a million wish.com tabs on your computer.

Those aren't called. wishes. Those are called wishes. I'm sorry, but I do call them wishes. I'm looking at my wishes. He is right. Oh, you get a million wishes, but I can't grant them. Whoa.

Well, what's the point of the... That's the twist, bro. That's the twist. All right. So now, be very careful with your wording on this one. Because apparently he's tricking. I wish for... Well, here's what we're going to do.

We're going to workshop this. We're going to keep going. I wish for a million wishes that are not wish tabs and that can be granted by you. But it's opposite day. damn okay i wish for a million wish that but a million wish tabs i can only you you you wish for a million wish tabs i can only grant those wishes on opposite day i can only grant a million wishes on opposite day okay and now my turn i wish it was opposite day okay but then all of your wishes are going to be backwards except for him because you said that he can only grant

them on opposite day so now your turn again now you get a serious wish we get a million of them, actually. For a big pile of chocolate. So it's opposite day, so you're going to get a big pile of vanilla. No. Like the beans? Yeah. Okay.

That's actually, that's not bad because vanilla bean is expensive. All right. And you've actually solved the world's vanilla shortage. Wait, I have the idea. I have the idea. It's opposite day, so now all my twists are good. So, okay, so this is good then. I wish for the, uh, a hundred pounds of silver.

100 pounds of silver. yeah it's colloidal silver I thought you're going to make it gold no no no it's that's not opposite though that's still silver but you solve the world's colloidal silver shortage there's not an issue with that I wish I was one of the

vlog brothers uh you are the vlog brothers but it is on and it's a it's a you were currently in a copyright battle with the vlog Hank and John Green because I'm their brother no you're not their brother it's a separate vlog but you're you're you're you wish to be a vlog

brother, not with them. I wish to be their blog brothers. Yeah, you're the blog brother. And you don't get to be in any of the blogs. I wish for a million wish tabs. Wish granted. I wish to that. Wish granted.

I beat the genie. No twist granted. But you have to pay for all them yourself. Oh, I have to pay for the tabs. You have to pay for everything that's on the tab. Oh, my God. And your bandwidth is down. I wish that I was never born.

well yeah wish granted it's opposite day though I should be born twice or something I wish to get caught in an industrial lathe wish granted but you survive oh crushed to

you're crushed to death but then you come back to life and now you're a human puddle oh my god I wish that I had no hands no legs no arms no lips no nose my butt cheeks were sewn together

and my eyelids were upside out so my lashes are on the bottom so your left everything that's on the left the side of your okay our guest is here yeah our guest is here I realize I have to set up the mic so you guys can

can keep doing wishes okay okay wait should guests just come over here and do wishes with us for a second Joe come here so Joe I'm a genie so he's a genie and he's trying to twist our wishes because we were thinking that he would make an amazing

an amazing genie and so far I'm not doing that great. No, he's kind of not that good. But okay, so I'm not good at the twists. I'm not good at the twist. Because I really would just like to grant the wishes, but I have the twists are part of it. You're a genie who makes twists happen on my wishes. Yeah, that's every genie does that. Okay, I wish. See, all my wishes are pretty down the middle. I don't want anything too crazy. Yeah, well, let's see. I wish for this whole thing, this being live, this happening. I was ready to have a but whole conversation with you guys. You said butthole

conversation right then. Yeah, you said butthole conversation. I was ready to have a butthole conversation. I was ready to have a butthole conversation. I'll tell you guys off off mic. I'll tell you about my butthole conversation. Ew. It's not it's not. I wish for an endless

supply of gum. It's a gum Arabic. It's just an ingredient that I heard of before. Okay, well, he can sell that and buy gum. That's a pretty fine wish to us. Yeah, exactly. You end up with anything. I wish to have... Oh, you get an

infinite spirit gum. And actually, yeah, you could just sell that to Hollywood. I wish to be able to correct to have like a second pass to all of my wishes. A second past? Pass. Like he gets out edit. I get to edit yours. You get an edit

but every, the end of every single one of them is on up. You have to say on opposite day because it's opposite day. That's really easy to navigate. I should have to do the opposite. See, I told, I'm not a good genie. Okay, I wish for, I wish for a billion dollars. Again, it's going to be in a racky dinar and you are currently embroiled in a bank robbery scheme and you're being chased by Interpol. Okay.

Um, you can, this is your, this is your, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're the orange. Um, I wish, uh, what is the conversion rate of dinar to US dollars? We don't know. Let me look it up. I would guess one to one. Because it would be, it would be, I in, but you're in trouble. Who gets, okay, okay, but I'm, uh, okay, because it's on. Okay, so one billion Iraqi dinar. Well, I'm asking for, I asked for a billion dollars. That's the one that's like. Yeah. So that's, so it's, it's 76,000 if you're doing the dinar.

But the U.S. dollar to dinar is a number. I mean, I can't even read that number. Yeah. It's too, it's too big. That's a 0.076. Wait, so one dinar is like a fraction of a cent. Okay, so I get way more. But you can't convert it anywhere.

because you're in trouble. But just spin it as they are. Yeah. Okay. And my revision on it is that I'm not, or I, is that I am in trouble on opposite day. Oh! The genie has been stoked. Again, I'm a bad genie.

I don't know what to tell you guys. Okay. We have Joe here with us today. So I'd like to maybe we could set this up a little bit. Are you guys 40 minutes into an episode? Yeah. So two days, or yesterday, I'm on the drive back from Christmas. and we have a little meeting about what we're going to do for our episode of it.

It's the first one of the year. We wanted to be a big one. Happy New Year. Thank you. We knew that we had talked about doing a Joe Box one, which is going to, it's, it's loading. It's the year of Joe. It's the year.

Well, I think you were on our New Year's episode last year as well. Yeah. That was also the year of Joe. Two years in a row. Two years in a row. So, and then Cameron, we were really struggling. We were just grasping at straws. We really weren't struggling.

We struggled for about 90. for about two minutes. About 90 seconds. And Cameron held up a bag of trail mix and said, what if we did an episode about trail mix? And then we started just spitballing. And this idea started from something so just horrible. So banal. To what I feel could be potentially one of the greatest episode ideas we've ever had.

Yeah. So I definitely got more excited about it than any episode. So we split off in groups. I absolutely went crazy. We made some rules. And Joe, I'm happy to report that we have designed three. unique trail mixes and you will be the judge

of which one is the best and also you're going to want to spit out that gum soon yeah because well you might be getting more gum out of some of these trail mixes wait so so so so let me okay this is true this is normal this is like someone would really down well I want this is yeah because we want we need

we're all going to try all this too it's not you're not just but I am the I am the judge I am the decider on what yes yes you so let's take a look this is trail mix so give me the ingredients motherfucker This is almonds, this is cashews, this is peanuts, this is raisins and Eminem's. Gorp, good old raisins and peanuts. Exactly.

Is that what Gorp's down? Yeah. I've never heard of Gorp. Y'all don't hike. I hike all the time. So see, the things that I'm looking for, the things that make a great trail mix? Yeah, this is important to know your biases. Now that we've already made ours.

Yeah. So we also have included in. We have included them into the criteria. Yeah. Wait, I'm judging my stuff of your criteria? No, no, you don't have to. We just have a list. Interesting things to talk about.

Yeah. Okay, great. I'm all for that. Great. See, I think a mix of sweet and salty is kind of essential. Yeah. I think there should be some protein in there. Or at least two flavors, right?

Sweet and salty or 82. Yeah, multiple even. I want two. Yeah, there should be a variety of things. A variety of things. Variety. I like that. I like that criteria, too.

Are you guys going to, is there like shit in the most? No. Why would we put shit? We're all going to eat all of them. So there isn't it's all edible and it's all meant to taste good. Are they all meant to taste like trail mix? No. It's the new.

Here's our criteria was when we made it, it's got to be, it's got to be, it doesn't have to be refrigerated, you know, shelf stable. Love it. It has to be in a Ziploc bag. Yeah. Five ingredients plus you can have seasonings. Yes. Seasons don't count. Don't count.

Don't count as an agree. The seasoning is five. How many ingredients? This is four. This is five. Let me read out the almond raisin eminette. Let me read out the criteria here. So we already said Ziplock bag.

Five ingredients cannot be refrigerated. Must be tasty. Danger factor. Five ingredients in one bite. You must have, you must be able to get all the one bite. I was going to say an allergen. It doesn't have.

These are just things we were talking about. Well, these are all written down. I'm just saying what's written. Choking hazard. age appropriateness in terms of it's not something you would want to give a baby

yeah and uniqueness you need teeth and danger did you yeah I said danger danger factor I put the danger

I said I is that danger like you need to be able to eat it in a dangerous situation like it has an edge like it has maybe it hasn't like for example this has a danger factor

if you could choke on it some people are allergic to nuts and peanuts I would say the M&Ms and the packaging because they're dangerously delicious the packaging is not part of it

we didn't discuss that I will also say, yeah, the M&Ms are my favorite part. And yours eating all the M&Ms right now. Yeah, I'm seeing you pick and pick out of the... I think you're going to spoil your appetite for the rest of these amazing trail mix. I'm trying to get a base... A baseline of M&Ms is what you're trying to go.

Why don't you just take a normal bite of the trip? You look, all five ingredients in one. Please say, yeah, get a fiver. Get a fiber. A cashew and an M&M, a trail mix. Get a fiber and describer. A trill mix you are not. This is our kind of...

This is the slime I just come up for this episode. Fiver and Describer. A fiver. Take a fiver. What am I missing? Take that raisin out. You need a peanut. You need a peanut.

All right. And now, now, we all know the Trail Mix is a New Year's tradition. Yeah, of course. New Year, new Trail Mix. Yeah, exactly. It's finally tough. Like, I mean, I'm going to go ahead and take a bite of this, too. You'll check it out.

I think. All right. So what kind of notes are you getting off the baseline Trail mix? I'm going from Eminem. I might as well. The raisin is a nice kind of binding agent. Uh-huh. Oh, binding agent.

That's a good piece of criteria. Something sticky. It's good. It's timeless, but it's almost timeless to its detriment. I've had it a million times a year. Your time's up, Trail Mix. I want something new. Topical.

The great thing about what TrailMix does is the two suites, the raisin and the M&M are making the three nuts form into sort of an amorphous. I would like a super nutty barrage. A nutty barrage right in my mouth. left, there's now three M&Ms in the back. Instantly, instantly kind of. And I was, I was just having a conversation about how post, after this Christmas season, I've had enough chocolate. And we were just having a conversation about how you are, have had enough chocolate. You do not know ball about trail mix. Okay, I'm, I'm really excited to try these.

Really? Are you actually? Yeah. All right, let's fucking get into it. I would say, let's get our trail mixes out. It's hard to be, no, let's, we'll go, here, I'll go first. Because we, I think we each have PowerPoint, too, to explain. Mine is a really brief PowerPoint. So the thing I'm trying, I'm putting all five ingredients in my hand and I'm trying it all in one. Or you can take a handful and make sure you have all five ingredients. Okay. You know, however you want to do it.

So this is the label for my trail mix that I created. Okay. It's called Ingredientsville Presents Yum and Yang, a trail mix experience. Well. Because I don't, I'm not thinking of this as just a snack. This is an experience. Okay. So that's, oh, I like the.

Tell me what you recognize. Tell me what you see on this label. I really love. of this label. My immediate reaction is that there are four things that are hot fire and there's one thing that's cold fire. Nothing gets past you. I would think that this was, I would expect this to be very expensive in the store.

If I was all this label. This is top shelf. This is an Arawon. Yeah, I was just going to say the Arawan Trail Mix. This is $22. And what do you think of the name for my company? Yum and, or Ingredientsville. I really like Ingredientsville.

It's a good company. I really like Ingridanceville a lot. I think that's about as good of a company name as you can have for a food product. Yeah. Ingredientsville is good. Yom and Yang, you're really tiptoeing on a line. What line? Did you see that stuff with the Canadian boba company?

Oh, yeah. I knew you would have seen. Did they get in trouble for? Simulieu was on the Canadian shark tank. Oh. And he roasted a boba company for not having Asian people involved in. So you're screwed. All of our employees are.

Okay. How about that? Thank God. Ingredientsville. Okay. Ingredientsville is another word for Beijing. Okay. That's like the, that's like the, oh, the windy city.

They call it ingredients. Okay, so it's more of a city that's making it than a ingredient. It takes a village. So nice try, we'll say. I'm just trying to give a full honest appraisal. It takes a village to make trail mix. Okay, so go next. Here's the thing.

Intense flavor meets cool relief in this trail ready mix of high nutrient snacks. Whether you're hiking half dome or sliding down a wet water slide, prepare for an injection of spicy crunch, then the sweet crunch of relief. This is such a good copy. Yeah, this is great copy. I wish I had made a label and copy now. So before I give this to you, I want you guys to guess. I would like for you to guess what my ingredients are based on label and description. Sweet things and spicy things.

Yeah. Interesting. I'm going to guess, yeah, you have four spicy ingredients and spicy things and one sweet thing. That's what you think. Or vice versa. I would say four spicy things and one. Minty thing. One minty thing.

I would say like a listerine. A listerine strip. I would not put it past you. I would see that in it. Would you eat it if it was a Listerine strip? I have to. You're right. You have to.

Guys, go to the next one. This is my ingredients list. Wow. Wonderful chili roasted pistachios. Taki's Fuego Hot Nuts. Taki's blue heat, flaming hot chitos, and a Tums smoothie variety pack. So if you guys enjoy...

Oh, someone lost their... No, never mind. If you guys enjoy... I love spicy snacks. Okay? I love spicy snacks. spicy snacks. The problem is I get the GERD coming back up. Totally.

So what I was thinking is let's let's uh nip this thing in the bud. Oh it's it's it is it is punch it is it is pungent. So this is I would like everybody to get one of each ingredient okay they should be

they should be floating around there. I went with the smoothie tums because they seemed the mildest and you know what I was thinking I was like talk I have no talkies in my bag. Oh you got plenty of the blue tachies. Oh the blue hot oh oh oh I thought these were green beans. I thought these were spicy green beans. No, they're not. Oh, man. And it's already

something I'm liking here is it's already leaving multiple colors on my hand. It kind of makes a brown on your hand. I really like this color. Yeah, I put the label and thank you for letting us start up. And look at this tum. Wow, look at spicy tum. Here, hit this camera. Yeah.

Can you get a what? How do I distinguish close up on the tongue? The to the tocky is blue. The tocky is blue. Aren't there two tokeys? Your hand should look like mine. Oh, there's a big nut It looks good And guys, I have not had a bite of this yet

Really? You didn't try it? No, because I wanted to be just as surprised as you guys Okay Because I have a feeling that it's going to taste pretty good Yeah, okay Joe's still working on his fiber. Okay, so let me explain I don't know where these giant nut is from

These giant nuts right here, this giant nut is from. Here, take a nut from me. Wait, I have it. Yeah, okay. I immediately look at this one back. Thanks for making individual bags too. Yeah, I thought it was cute, right? So I want to, what? I smelled my finger. Before we take a bite, let me explain the smoothie tums. Because I could have gone with the

mint tums or something, but I was thinking like tahin and mango, tahina and pineapple. I see the vision. How good is that, right? I totally see the vision. Yeah. So, all right, bottoms up, guys. All right. Hmm. Truly not that bad. I'm not going to lie. Way better than I thought it was going to be. It's mostly just spicy foods. Mm-hmm.

The smoothie tum, honestly, kind of hidden. It's bringing a lot to the table. That's not bad. That's actually not bad at all. That's good. It kind of tastes like trail mix. Yeah. That's good.

Wow. The tum is inspired. The tum actually is like... I was possessed when I picked out the tone. Yeah. And this was guys, you know what I did? You know what I was headed. it to the grocery store to buy

these ingredients, my ingredient to figure it out. I got to workshop it. And I walked by on the way, thank God, on the way to the grocery store, there is a Walgreens. Oh, and now the spice is starting to hit me. Yeah. By the way. Can I throw in something too? I'm liking the danger factor

of you really cannot eat too much of this. Yeah. Yeah. Because of the tom. Yeah. And I, in it more danger. You have a blue dot on your cheek now. Where? On your left cheek. You have a full blue dot. Oh, I see the blue dot. See, I had a bite with two tums in it.

Okay, but how often are you getting two raisins? Yeah. A lot often. See, this is how often it's getting multiple M&M? A part of my time is the M&M. But look at the ratio. I put only, I mean, the tongue is definitely the M&M in this. I know. Okay. You can't, you're, you're, what are you doing?

I like this. Oh, just a random grab bag. Okay. That's a talky, heavy one with no tongue. Well, okay. What are you doing a blind grab. You're doing a blind grab. The blind grab straight to the mouth. Flying grab straight to the mouth. Blind grab is a good. All the colors going on in his face.

This is incredible. This is one of the messiest things you can possibly eat. He's addicted. Yeah, I think he really loves this a lot. Yum and Yang, guys. Yum and Yang. Wow. I mean, this is a, this is, I feel like I knocked this out of the park.

Yeah, honestly, it's, I mean, I don't know how good the other ones are going to be. This one is probably number one for me right now. Wow. So far, this is number one for me as well. Yeah, I mean, it's better than normal trail mix? No, no, actually, I didn't think about that. I would probably prefer normal. Okay, I guess they're tied in my head.

Okay, Joe. So let's hear it from the judge himself. Who has not stopped eating this? You want what, a water? Can I have a thing? Let me get you a water. I think we should get a spittoon and a cup of water. Just wash it down, man.

Get him two cups. Get him a cup with water and an empty cup. Uh-huh. Please. I'm going to, I want to be this. loose with all three bags. Okay. It's hard to understand you.

Yeah. Loose with all three bags is what he said. I want to be loose. I want it to be a casual. I speak. I speak munch. I can hear him. Bro,

you are literally the definition of a munch. You thought I was feeling you? Who, me or Joe? Joe. Oh, okay. No, I was calling Joe a munch. It creates a really like watery mouth. Totally.

I really am still in awe of the tongue. Yeah. I can't believe that was that good. You know, I was expecting to get the, I was expecting to get the, the, the, the, the, the, the, uh, the chockiness. I was expecting that to be over. But the ratio is perfect. And I, and I, spinning into the mic. And let's talk about the cost.

I have a cost breakdown. Oh my God. One more. Uh, ingredients costs with $31 and 26 cents. And labor is $5. I figure we, we met, MSRP for a three pack. That is he terrible. I can I say my ingredients

cause is about this amount too I always bet the fucking thums are it's the worst art but it's not supposed to add minimal flavor and be a

it's a functional trail mix it's a part of the team it's a functional spicy trail mix my I think my ingredients cost was also around I think this is what

if you're developing a new trail mix I mean before we get the factory is up and running this is like part for the court You wouldn't know because you didn't try to make a trail mix, but this is completely fair. It's expensive to try to design new trail mix. And $5 of labor is a great number, too.

That's exactly how much we're going to be paying people to work in the factory. It took me about five minutes, and I figure a dollar a minute for the CEO is how I should be paid. Yeah. You could crank that up once you get. Yeah. Once Yoming Yang gets up the ground. I mean, Yom and Yang, ingredients fills a co-op. Yeah.

Really? Yeah. So, well, at least that's the hope. So we're trying to be a very low. controversy company. Wow. Well, thank you for sharing that with us. I really am a fan of...

Thank you guys for eating it. I'm glad, okay. We have a pallet cleanser. Right in between. That is smart. That is smart. That is very smart. That's clearing it out.

I've all brought a pallet cleanser. Yeah. Oh, well. Well, who wants to go next? You want to go or should I go? I can go next. How many fucking mince and gums do you... So I want you...

If you can open up my PowerPoint... What the hell? One was empty. One is open. And then if I run out of the one that's open. You have a sealed one. So just open up my power. point uh i was right i have to uh check this bit so this is this is my trail mix okay um wait real quick

can we get a numerical rating on that out of 10 okay so i would say from the judge for you know ingenuity okay so i would say the thums uh was very creative i would say you uh you hit a trail mix vibe in an impressive way that's that that's the gurd But I would say that the Tums... I'm not a big fan of talky, spicy stuff in general. Okay. I would give that... Well, see, I'm going to give it a...

Right now, I'm going to anchor this and say... It's so much blue on your... I would say it's probably a five and a half out of ten. Okay. Oh, man. That's pretty good. I'll take five and a half out of ten from somebody... I'm worried.

Why are you worried about it? You think you're going to lose? I think I'm going to lose. Dude, I will like your trail mix no matter what. Let's see. Let's just... I'll eat the whole bag. Yeah.

He'll eat the whole bag. whole bag. That's Caleb's promise. All right. Here's Patrick. So this is my trail mix. I got a little bit. Next slide, I got a little bit carried away and immediately imagine this as a brand. I love the brand. So next slide.

So this is untamed Oh shit. Hydration trail mix. This is marketed towards the U.S. Army, people who want to be Marines but can't join the Army for physical reasons. Dude, I love the halo logo or the halo font on the hydration trail mix.

Did you make the bear or is that clip art? It says carnivore-friendly. Oh, yeah. Carnivore-friendly is for people on the go, people at the gym, Catholics. Pretty much hitting every angle. Next slide. So these are the ingredients. This is my bag here.

Wow. Oh, no. Next slide. What the fuck is that? So inside this bag is... Get it from the bag, though. What the fuck is that? Well, let me go through the ingredients.

Inside this bag is one whole bag of goya barbecue chitirones. Okay. one whole bag of Jack Link's peppered beef jerky one whole bag of nice bacon jerky one whole bag of Colby shrimp chips

and one quarter of a bag of Dr. Pepper Cotton Candy Did you get a picture of the cotton candy before you? No I didn't but the rest of it's over there. All right dude I'm getting hungry. Let's dig in this looks fucking amazing. I mean look at that

look at that. Look at that. Oh, the, I left the, be careful because I left. Oh, my God, the smell. I will, fair, fair warning, fair warning, there are silica gel packs still in here. Well, that's happens with beef jerky. Yeah, so, I mean, there's beef jerky in here. I have to keep it. It smells like Chinese food.

I have to keep it fresh. All right, let's get it. Jesus Christ, the smell of that is really interesting. Tuck in. See, the one, the one per. Yeah, this is a tough. This is a tough handful. I need to get some extra. I need to get definitely the, too. This smells like dog food. This is insane. Well, you got the bacon jerky too. Yeah, I got bacon jerky too. Oh, God. This is going to take 20 years to choose. Oh, my God. This is the danger factor. Oh, high. I'm feeling high danger factor. Yeah, this is a dangerous food. I didn't even, this exact. Well, that's the thing. Untamed. All right. This is for true beasts. Dude, I'm showing this to the camera. That is like a, that's like

Tercutery. It's a little, it's a little hors d'oeuvre. And look at this beautiful hors d'oeuvre I've crafted. I got some cotton candy on my hand. All the meat is at the bottom. Yeah, all the meat kind of fell to the ground. To the ground. Of the bag.

The ground of the bag. But this is, this is carnivore friendly. Totally. Not really. I mean. Cotton candy and the trinity. Show me a carnivore that doesn't eat cotton candy. Yeah. Day. And I'll show you a liar. Cheat day.

Don't split that. Sure. There's a fun element to it. You split a big jerky. Things that are impossible to split into. Okay. All right. Bottoms up or one. I need one more piece. What are you looking for?

Bacon jerky. Do we have this? Whatever is not this. Hold on. This is what you would, you're on the go. You're on the go. You take about five minutes to create a bike. Yeah, you scoop it out of the bag.

You slowly. I don't even know what I'm missing. This is just the stock, you know, This is like, I mean, this is like when you get checks mixed. You can get a little bad. And did you add seasoning to this? No, it's all seasoned on its own. No.

I like that you guys added that rule and just didn't. I used the seasoning rule. He used the seasoning rule. Because he's the one who asked about it. He said, is seasoning an ingredient? Okay. All right, anything you'd like to say before we dine on your delicious creation? Bottom's up is what I'd like to say.

What's a slogan for the thing? Oh, so this is, well, I'll get into it after. I explain the thought process behind the creation of this. Dude, I was, I mean, this is gonna be so awful. All right, bottoms up, guys. I got thoughts up, guys. Okay, wait. it's great

serious thoughts it's delicious yeah it's like a it's like a maple bacon style it tastes like pulled pork yeah this does kind of taste

like pulled pork it's got the sweet it's got okay the first the second you put it in it's horrible but as soon as the

content melts down yeah it kind of just infuses the meats with the sweetness Dr. Pepper Pulled pork

I've had that before it's good as fuck that's good I mean this is really I finished my whole bite. Still chewing. I don't know that I would get another,

but that's the issue there is not the flavor. It's the packaging. It's the, no, it's not the packaging. It's the size of each individual piece. It's hard to get one bite.

Well, this is my rule. Oh, you get a random handful every time. I like it. Okay, yeah. That one is taking first place for me so far.

Really? I think so. That's incredible. I would say in terms of flavor, yes, I think I got you on ingenuity. This is looking like, an amazing

You have them on ingenuity and this one is definitely not trail mixing it's not trail mixy no is that bad

or does that work against me I don't know it's up to the job we'll find out we'll find out when the judge finish

it's just a second giant bite it's just the like texture and like I don't know it's just it's and it's

the cotton candy is tough yeah because I'll tell you I also look to cotton candy really I decided against

what made you decide against for this exact reason that it is not going to be it's too it's going to clump together

I told them because I unfortunately saw him pull out the cotton candy and laughed at it. It was a brick. It looked like a actual brick. It looked like real insulation. I said, take it and roll it into balls. That's what I did.

Well, you didn't do a very good job. No, the balls are too big. Well, I only put a quarter of a bag in. You only put a quarter of a bag? Yeah, there's still a whole brick over there.

There's plenty of silica gel in there too. Yeah, there's the silica gel packet. This could be, you know, this, if you had, you know, taken, left this in the kitchen. Yeah. Chopped up the jerky. You know,

Crunched up the crunched up. Exactly. I think you could get a handful of it. Yeah. It'll be a lot more drama. Next slide, I just want to talk about my thought process behind this. Sure.

That has a 5,540 grams of sodium altogether. In the bag. But, I mean, yeah, in one whole, I mean, you know, you get a bag of beef jerky. Wait, 5,000 grams of sodium? Yeah. Not milligrams. Grams of sodium? I'm pretty sure I did the math correctly.

5,000 grams. I'm pretty sure. Do you know how much sodium? Kilograms? Hold on. That's what, two pounds? That's definitely milligrams, isn't it? 5,000 grams. But it says

G on the pad. I mean, I still have the packaging over there. I'm pretty sure it said G. Well, we got the packaging right here. Yeah. But that's, I mean, sodium plays a critical role in helping yourselves maintain you know, this is one bag of one tamed. It's about equal to Well, no. Read it out. Let him read it.

It does say milligrams. Read it out. Read it out. Read out this sentence. One bag of untamed is equal to about 14.5 gatorades. So really, it's like, it's like 1400 or 14,000 gatories. I'm pretty sure now that I'm thinking about it. Hold on. Let me do a quick double check. Okay, do a double check mask. I'm really not liking the after throat feel of these two.

No, it feels terrible. These two combined. Yeah. Kind of it's making my throat. all I'll say is that I'm glad we had the Tums first. I would say it should have gone last. Well, the relief starts as soon as it touches your tongue.

The thing is, at the end of this, we should pick out thumbs and eat just tons. Yeah, as a miscalculation. That's okay. Yeah, that's okay. Your point, Stan. Come back. It doesn't matter. They wouldn't be allowed to put that in food. They are allowed to put whatever they want in food. But not, like...

Where's he going? He's running around. You know what it is? It's the pure energy from the Trail mix. I mean, this guy's ready to go. I like also that you said that this is a hydration. Hydration trail mix. Can you walk me through that? Because I would call this one of the driest things I've ever eaten. Well, no, the sodium is what hydrates you.

So, next slide. I guess it's hydrant because you eat it and you immediately need a drink of water. I am getting a headache right now. Oh, my God. This is the Dr. Papricon candy. So this was about 2450. total. Going to sell it for $65.

I didn't include labor, but I guess that is included. You guys both did a whole breakdown and everything. I didn't have anything like this. I just had to kind of a... Well, yeah, you guys are business ready. I mean, we're ready to ship.

I'm ready to ship this across the country. Mine is more of the type of thing you're going to buy from like someone in the neighborhood because it's so damn good. You can't get it anyway. Like no store is going to stock mine. Patrick, I'm going to go, you know, I have to make some phone calls first,

but I'm going to say that ingredients is very interested in acquiring untamed. Wow. Can we hear a numerical rating? Okay. So my breakdown of this one, I would say in terms of taste, I think you have Caleb's beat. Wow. I think that the Dr. Pepper thing I was really worried about.

And then the great thing about cotton candy is it disappears pretty quickly. And I would say the infusion factor was pretty big. The infusion factor was cool. That is like an invention. So I also broke down self-infusing me. Why I think this wins. How does it stack up? Next slide.

Fits in a Zickblock bag, 100%. It's a big zip one bag. Uniqueness. I thought the shrimp chips were unique, but I'm thinking now it's the dissolve factor. The shrimp chips were non-factor. They were completely a non-factor. You're not tasting the cotton candy.

Yeah, it might as well be double-pourine. Can't be refrigerated. All came from the same aisle. Algin, selfish. Choking hazard, yes. If you take too big of a bite, danger factor. And everybody is too big of a bite. Yeah, the logo is definitely dangerous

because of the blood on the bear's teeth. Next slide, tastiness. All the ingredients are tasty on their own. Yeah. They might as well. This is horrible. Age appropriate. I just had a bite of this.

This is worse than the trail mix. Of course. The cotton candy is horrible. All five in one bite, you'd be the judge. See, I would say this was your biggest oversight because I think that if you, these are all breakable things. with the exception of the jerky,

which was very hard to eat. I would say if you broke these chips into smaller pieces into sort of a checks mix side, if you use that little checks mix, if you use checks mix, I'm saying if you use that as a size mix. No, I'm saying it wouldn't be trail mix, it would be checks mix.

No, but trail mix sometimes can have... Trail mix, they use all the ingredients as they lay. That's an interesting thought. That's a great thought. Well, except for cocoa chocolate pieces. Yeah, well, no, Eminems are naturally occurring. Really? But also the peanuts are split in half. That could just be natural.

I would say if you broke these up, especially if you broke up the jerky pieces into smaller. Like the Jack Link steak bites. You know what I almost bought? Jack Link steak bites. Yeah, I was thinking about that too. If you did little tiny pieces

and I could actually have a handful of multiple ingredients in one, this would be, I think. So that's going to knock me some points is what you're saying? I think that's going to knock you some points for the sake of keeping things close because I think I'm going to give you a

I give you five and a half yeah I think I'm going to give you a six and a half whoa that's a huge that is well because I only I only work in half points okay all right so technically so a six is on the table you're not doing six point three no port noise scale

no no no no because it's one pitchfork yeah no okay pull up my PowerPoint So we have a 5.5 and a 6.5. Let's see that the trajectory continues. Okay. So first off, I just wanted to, I did a lot of theory crafting.

Okay. And a lot of my ideas I thought were not, I could not do for various reasons. So I wanted to walk you through some of the ideas that I really liked that I wasn't able to make happen. I like this kind of behind the scenes process. So the first, my first idea, uh, go to the next slide, Z mix. I like this. Okay. So here are the ingredients.

Melatonin. Oh. NyQuil. Benadryl. Trazidone and warm milk. Well, I remember you talking about milk yesterday so much. Melatonin was the one ingredient I wanted to put in so badly to my trail mix, and I was like, I can't do that. I thought about it too.

I will say one of the ingredients that wasn't, or one of the rules that wasn't listed, but we said that it couldn't be, you could put a liquid in there, but it couldn't be milk because it makes it cereal. Yeah, and it also has to be shelf stable. Yeah, exactly. So it could be almond milk. Yeah, almond milk would be fine. Yeah. see i i really i would love to have seen z mix yeah yeah i almost i tried to put together a photoshop of what it would look like i did not have time that was what i was so you're saying

when you say melatonin you i was thinking everything in cat in gummy form uh probably pills a mix of of different you know some some liquids maybe a milk yeah some trazadone gummies yeah so just kind of to for the to get the mix of texture i think conceptually this would have won nobody would have been able to taste it right yeah so that i really did one I did want to make it. I couldn't make it. Here's another one that I wanted to make. Kind of the opposite end of the spectrum.

Crazy mix. Okay. What's that? This one is Coca-Cola. Okay. Vinegar. Baking soda. Mentos and quarter inch screws.

Okay. So kind of opening your mouth like over a volcano. Yeah. And having it blast into your mouth. And cutting it up. Yeah. So this is crazy. If you really need to be awake.

On the trip. Yeah. This is if you're like falling asleep, you're like, I need to get home before a bear eats me or whatever. The sun starts setting you home. You got to make it back down. the mouth. Because if I don't get medical attention for these

screws within... Oh, that's good. It puts a time limit on you. Exactly. I've injured myself. Big factor. It could also double up as a flare potentially in a dangerous situation. Oh, good point. You mentos up it through your mouth, the blood screws shoot to the sky. And they light the sky.

That's a great idea. Then I was seeing a lot of the ingredients I want to use. I was thinking about shelf stability. They maybe weren't shelf stable, like meats and stuff. I mean, I know Pat solved that in one way, but I had a different way to solve this issue, which was... Sorry, can I just say, I have a pounding headache now. Me too, I got an instant headache after Patrick's.

What is that, what is causing that? I don't know. Sodium? I guess, I mean, if it's really 5,000 grams of sodium. I don't think it's 5,000, but. Here's the, here's the next one that I came up with. This is active mix. Okay.

The mix itself is active because this is a mix that contains live frogs, live mice, live mice, live beetles, live snakes, and live spiders. This is an ork meal. This is a meal that will not go bad because they are just living. They're not going to rot. Exactly. They'll eat each other. The frogs eat the mice.

The mice eat the beetles. The beetles eat the snakes and the snakes eat the spiders. My thoughts exactly. You know what you could also call this is forest mix. That'd be good. The forest floor. Forest mix. It's very nature.

But let's get to the actual one. It's very nature. Let's get to the actual one. I decided flavor mix. Now I'm going to tell you. Okay. We had our rule. five ingredients

well I thought there are five flavors oh I thought you were gonna do five senses and I was excited to see what those were so I kind of it's not it's not

you know and I know there's also the sixth taste as well the sixth flavor you know it's I definitely there's if I hadn't had more time I could have put this together a little better but I'm pretty happy I did already try a bite of this

when I made it and I think you guys are really gonna like it all right so this is flavor mix let's go through the ingredients here I'll tell you. Ingredient number one, wasabi-flavored peas.

I love it already, yeah. Love these. You are going to love this so much, Patrick. Honestly, I almost put these in, too. These are great. I love these. Ingredient number two, flavor blasted goldfish. This is going flavor in a winning direction. Okay, so that's so far we've got some,

we got some spicy and some salty. Uh-huh. Okay, and a little bit of cheesy as well. And peasy. Flavor number three, soft peppermint candy. Okay. So this is sweet and minty. Is minty, sweet and minty?

Minty is one of the flavors? Yeah. So I was like, I used the five flavors as a jumping off point. And then I was like, I also want to, you know, branch out on different types of these ones. I want to, you to experience everything to really, a bite needs to feel like a bite of five things. And you went with the soft ones. So you're real chalky ones. So you can chew it.

Let me ask you. Because, yeah. Did you use Brock's brand specifically? I did. I did use Brox. Did you know that they were called soft peppermint candy or did you? see it on the shelf? I saw it on the shelf, but I did have it in my head of that was what I was looking for

because I knew they have the ones that are chewy. And I didn't want to put hard candy in because that's too much of an answer. That's high danger. You're going to break a tooth. Yeah, that's really dangerous. Flavor number four, we have extreme sour patch kids. Sourness. Sourness, very good.

And, and chewy. A little bit of sweet. Oh, yeah. A little bit of a little bit of sweet fruit-y kind of flavor. What is the fifth flavor? Now, the fifth flavor for us will be 100% cacao, unsweetened baking chocolate. What flavor would you call that?

Bitter. Oh. This is the fifth flavor. Mommy. So it's not just ingredients, my friend. What else is in it? Let's go to the next slide. We have Season 1.

MSG. I knew it. Oh, my God. And I also added just a little bit of chili powder as well. Just for a little more spiciness because the wasabi peas, I feel like we're... Okay, I want to see this.

On paper, this should be the best one. I mean, it looks the most like a trail mix. This is flavor mix. And yeah, see, that's what I have. I have here. The Sour Patch Kids are giving you the burst of color. You would get from M&Ms. I'm trying to have a mix of different textures.

We got some chocolate in there that's not M&M's. We got different levels of crunch, different flavors. And I will say, there's a dust factor. I'm seeing some dust at the bottom. That's what you like in a trail mix, especially when it's in a bag for a long time. Yeah. You can just toss it back. So who wants to get their handful for it?

This really reads us the kind of smell it. this reaches the kind of his eyes went cross for nanosecond this reads is the type of thing that a teacher would bring for lunch

this actually I understand what you mean that smells that smells like there's something that smells exactly like and I can't I think you're going to find

I think you're going to find this has a great handful factor I think this is and site wise this is going to fit in your hand perfectly yeah I mean that's

I mean that this is The most trail mix in my hand. The Sour Patch kids are giving sort of a like dried apricot look and texture. A raisin. That is a great raisin replacement. Binding factor. Yeah, big binding factor. And I will say, guys, I

tasted this earlier and I put it in my mouth and made me laugh out loud. Which is a joy. I've never had that before from the food. It's funny food. It's food that when you taste it, it makes you laugh. Wait. I mean, this looks.

I got a lot of green in mine. Oh, yeah, you went green. I got a beautiful array of colors. Yeah. All right. Anything else to say before we try this, sir? I'm going to take a bigger handful. Oh, if you had, okay, so it's flavor mix.

If you had to visualize a packaging sort of thing, what would you do? I kind of want like a five-pointed star with the different flavors. Oh, yeah. At each point. And I wanted to look chaotic. This is supposed to be like a fireworks show. What about this? It's like, you know, you know, Ratatouille?

You know Ratatoui when he gets strawberry and cheese in his head? Yeah. This is like that, but for everything. Okay. Well, let's all close our eyes and give it a Ratatoui rating, then. Okay. Let's go. So like I said, it's a funny food.

The chocolate and M.S.G together is so fucking gross. It's really got to be one of the worst things in the match. It's so bad. It's so bad. What do you mean? Okay. So Rattatatooie rating. I'm seeing

The mix of The mix of It's a very interesting Honestly, you should try this at home Yeah, you should. It's a very interesting The, the, the amount, the textures that clash. Mm-hmm.

The flavors that clash. It's like, you know what? You know what a good slogan for this would be? Is that it's a battle in your mouth. That is, and, I felt exactly that way. It's a battle that no one wins. It feels like you're eating it

and then something, a, excuse me going for the blind handful. So a bomb goes off on this side of your mouth. And then something happens over here. And another thing happens over there. It's like, it's the whole universe. I would,

okay, I would did. I obviously, it's, that is truly one of the most rancid, horrible, things I've ever eaten in my life. It's not that bad. It's five good flavors and two good seasonings. Bitter chocolate is

the one thing that I will say that went well together is the chocolate and the sour patch kids almost gives it a candy pomegranate, you know those little balls, almost has that kind of a thing. The sour patch does work. The sour patch is maybe the only thing that is distinct

in there because I think that it's almost like yeah the sour patch is like is like a sharp. It's like a stabbing, and then you have the spice that kind of goes all around. And for a ratatouie rating, you know, it's drawing on a I would say that it was like swastikas and super S's kind of looked like a school

bathroom. This is what if a rat actually could cook. What I will say too is the main thing, the thing that I wish that I had gotten, I wish I had something better than flavor blasted goldfish. I think that's the thing that's not doing enough work here. That needs to be something much saltier. It does add a crunch though.

It does. I think the texture. good, but I think I could have, I could have had something better than that. The MSG doesn't come through as much as I thought it would. Well, it enhances the other flavors. It enhances the other flavors. That's true. See, the second bite I took, I think I clearly hit a spot where

most of the, like, chili powder was poured. Yeah. I got a big piece of sour patches, and it was just chili powder. I will say chili powder on a sour patch doesn't sound too bad. It doesn't sound so bad. The spicy and the sour is good.

Spicy and sour. The whole thing is good. my idea. Well, we got to get your rating first. Oh, wait, I think I know what your idea is. A super mix. Yeah, see what I. We do have to do a super mix, but I want to hear your rating first. I really am looking forward to what you have to say about my fine invention. Okay, so the places that this one went right were the exact places where Patrick's mix went wrong. Really? So I would say that this, this I think, hit the trail mix in a bag vibe better than any other ones. This one did a decent job, but this also looks like a bag of Cheetos with Tums in it. This one...

What about the blue? It looks like a dirty bag of Cheetos. I would say this one was maybe one of the least pleasant eating experiences of my life. Everyone keeps saying that. Is it not interesting? I would say it's... Let's not say it's not interesting. Thank you. Maybe it was a problem of expectation.

because I honestly expected this to be palatable. You did. And the only reason why I kept it in my mouth is because nobody else spit it out first. If anybody had given up, it would have been flying out of my mouth. I was coughing. It was kind of trying to not go down. It was a very funny tasting thing. It did.

Here's the other. You know what? This is no longer flavor mix. This is funny mix. You sell this. You sell it in a joke shop. Get a tum. You have it in like a content.

painter that has like laughing emojis on it. This is the funny food. The first food that makes you laugh when you taste it. It does make you laugh. You focus grouped it. No one liked it. You have enough. Okay.

So now Patrick has invented. But isn't that actually incredible that everyone started laughing? That is funny. No food has done that before, not even pizza. If you replace. Let's all go home and kiss our girlfriend right on. If you removed the chili powder and MSG. Here is the ultimate mix.

And you added a pretzel goldfish. I think this would have been the best one. Okay. That's interesting. And the chocolate. The chocolate is clearly the worst part. The chocolate brought this down to the ground. The chocolate is definitely, I was kind of, I was like...

Can I get it some more water? Yeah. I'll get you some water before you're supposed to. Now let's judge. Now we have to judge the ultimate mix. Yes. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Oh, fuck, yes.

They're both dirty. Oh, okay. He dirtied both of his cups. He dirty. He can't have. Well, one of them I had to make, I had to get rid of the flavor mix. Why is everyone trying to get rid of? of my mix. It's not flavor

mix anymore. If you did the Z-Mix, you would have won. I would have won, was it, but nobody could have eaten it. I would have had it. And it would have been the most expensive by far. It would have cost $100. Here is the ultimate mix. So this is everything from every bag put into two hands. This is a great idea for a trail mix.

I think this might be. The 15 ingredient trail mix. Yeah. Trail mix is what? Five ingredients? What about, like, actually 20 ingredients? Because I put the control in, too. Oh, wow. So it's a 20. So this is quadrupe. This is quad mix.

This has to be, I mean, the nice thing about trial mix is it's about the symphony of flavors. Totally. I've always said that. Nobody wants to listen to a tuba by itself. This is going to be, this is a Verrice symphony. This is a Frank Zappa. Yeah.

This is a Frank Ocean Symphony. Yeah. Well, yeah, let's say one more guy, one more composer. This is the, and that's what's called this trans Siberian orchestra. It's Han Zimmer. It's Hilipers. Did he guys say phone fast? Flavor mix is totally Hans Zimmer.

This is my... If I had to give it one. Okay. And the maestro. All right. All right. Here it goes. The ultimate taste test.

Mmm. The chocolate. Oh my God. The wasabi. The wasabi. The cotton candy. The Dr. Pepper. Tom.

The blue tocky. The flaming hot Cheeto. It's all hitting him at the same time. Well, I see his... It's merging into a flavor bomb. Looking past the world. I think he's unlocked. I think this is what every,

if you work at like the, what's it called the chef place, you know, it's like CIA Culinary Institute of the Arts. You have to do this in order, this is the test to pass. This is going to change your palate forever. You can't tell me no chef has ever landed on these before.

This. No, every chef does this. Yeah. This is called experimental gastronomic eco death. He's still chewing and kind of staring. He's parsing every little piece of it. He's feeling.

Every single 20 of the 20 ingredients, he's counting it out. This is why he picks him as the judge because we knew that he would do this. You've done an amazing job. At the corner of his eye, I see, I see tears forming. And no, no, no, no, no, no retching, no, no, he's actually, it's a laughing and is tented. The flavor mix made him wretch. Yeah, so, okay. I'm sorry, the funny mix made him laugh, we'll say.

He's going in for a quick sip of water before he gives us thoughts. Parting thoughts. He's rinsing his mouth. He's getting every last bit of anything that could be in his mouth. He needs to taste it all. He wants it all. Did he swallow it? He swallowed it all.

He swallowed it all. I'm getting jelly beans kind of flashbacks. I'm getting jelly beans kind of flashbacks. through the holes of flavor. Because you, and it's in each bag, you kind of, there's an experience and I'm sure you guys had it where there's that you get that too much tum,

you get the too much chocolate, you get the too much fucking cotton candy stuff. And then you're like, okay, just like keep, like I could try to, if you work through it, and then the chips all turn to water. I, I really felt like I was, you know, when you close your, mm-hmm. He's speechless.

I, that was the best. If the super mix, because the shitty parts of the three mixes were all dulled down by the greatness that you guys added with your kind of down the middle ingredients. Oh, okay. Well, remember there's also normal trail mix mixed in there. So that's probably what you're tasting

when you say when you say the stuff that tasted good. I would give five and a half seven. You went up to seven on Patrick's, okay.

One. Oh, one. Two, two, two. Because you had a trail mix look. It was the worst thing I've ever had. You are,

you have to try poop. Well, that would get it. Come on. It's food. It's fully edible. Then I would, It's all flavors you've had before. How can it be bad?

I would say... I bet you throw up when you chew gum after you eat orange juice. But you can't even handle that. I would say... He's so mad. Super mix. Well, he gave you a two.

You got a two. Supermix. Six and a half. Wow. I beat the Supermix. Patrick beat the Supermix. Oh, my God. And you know what?

Coming into this... Funniest was yours. Flavimics got funniest. So what was mine the most of then? I would say yours. was the most cohesive. I would say yours, you had an idea, you had a brand identity,

it was easy to eat. Yours was an invention. And also you separated. I would say that yours, yours hit all like the ancillary parts outside of, you know, it was a world beyond. And he hit the silliest parts, funny mix.

The ant-siliest. And-siliest parts. Okay. So Patrick is the winner, yes. And you were saying, You said coming into this. And I want to add in something at the end here, which I'm realizing, is that this is just mostly barbecue stuff.

Yes, that's what I say. So I think that's a huge leg up that I just only did barbecue stuff. And I wanted, if somebody could do the math for me here, how much sodium is that? That's 5,000 milligrams. How many Gatorades would that be? you're asking us I just want to know how many gators he said it's 380 per

so it would be about 15 the gum is actually making it a million yeah you had the math right because that you just you thought that it was you thought that it was milligrams

oh okay yeah oh so then this is this is the most hydrating mix of all so based on the scores that you've given Joe per serving you are saying you believe that 2025 will be the year of untamed mix. This is going to be the new mix that's going to be hitting the shelves because this is

what we're creating a new and a new because some people might say that 2025 is a year of being funny and laughing and like, maybe it's not so much about taste. Or maybe the year of spiciness and relief. Yeah, because that also was present and funny mix now that I think about it. You guys should sell, like

do the Shopify shop and you guys should sell each. We did talk about this. We thought about maybe the auctioning off the best one for charity. It's a good idea. One that's had all of our fingers in it. Well, we'd make a new one. And we put it in a proper bag.

You do small batch. I was just looking into how you get bags made. You do a small batch of 100. You think 100 people would buy. Because think about this too. If we're getting, we're making the bags, the price point here is going to be like 70 bucks. Yeah. Yeah.

It's an expensive, especially for trying to make money for charity. You had the most expensive ingredients. Yeah. How much? I did? Yeah, you had my... No, it wasn't yours like 60 bucks or something? That was a sale price. That's the sale price.

Oh, what was yours? Mine was the cheapest. Mine was 24. Really? Yeah. I almost don't believe that. Yours was more expensive than that? What was the big price?

What was in yours? It's just because I have to go to a fucking expensive New York grocery store. And also the baker's chocolate. Yeah, the baker's chocolate is definitely. And also it was expensive because I bought a few other options that I didn't use. So if we bought in both, like I bought a hundred. I bought some alternate sour options and some

lemon pepper that I didn't use. I just at my house. I'm going to eat it. Oh, and I have tropical skittles here. Yeah, the nice thing about this too

is all these ingredients that I used, I have more of it so I can eat it on my free time. Yeah. Separately. The major takeaway I had. That's everything in there.

Well, you can eat this. You can take this home and eat that. That's good. You are, you will eat this whole bag. I'm going to try this because this has every seasoning on it right now.

There's a piece of bacon jerky with every season. The bacon jerky was good. Yeah, I really thought it was going to be disgusting. So 2025 is a year of untamed mix. That's not good. Okay, so if you guys want to try some untamed mix, let us know. We'll talk to a manufacturer.

You look crazy. You are, you've lost your mind. It is definitely going to, I'm going to go to sleep tonight, and it's definitely going to be one of those things where I like keep. Your face is going to be bloated tomorrow, just all the salt. I need to, I did my animal cards, and it said I need to eat and drink more consciously. Yeah. I got the elk again.

I'm sorry. What is that? Yeah, I don't know what that means. Okay, that's crazier than how you look for. Yeah, we don't have to think about that. What are you talking about? You're doing animal cards? Well, guys, happy New Year.

Happy New Year. What is that? We love you. Thank you for listening to us. This is actually, I think this might be our second longest episode. How long was it? With the 12-hour episode being the longest. We've done longer.

Until Joe Box 3. Until Joe Box 3. And go by a ticket in Chicago on January 19th, Swagpoop.com. We'll get this bag away. Yeah, we'll bring this on the plane. We'll explain this bag to TSA. We won't put it in the carry on. We'll put it directly onto the belt.

So it's untanned. This is the ultimate hydration mix. This is the 2025 trail mix. I really don't know. We're going to have to workshop that title. And guys, tune in January 1st, 2026 for the second mix off. First annual mix off. All right.

later bye I don't work at tiny shinies anymore you used to work at tiny shinies anymore you used to work at tiny shinies no there was an incident yeah you were you were nationally ranked as one of the worst strippers

they release a bottom 40 yeah and I used to leave skid marks on the pole they do top 40 bottoms they do bottom 40 yeah bottom 40 dancers and I mean skid marks on the guys laugh yeah I would leave skid marks

everywhere I went when I was a stripper It was really not good and they kept telling me you gotta want and you got to want you got to wait and you would dance I do I do

I try you would dance to the xylophone music yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I dance with some really I know your your go-to song you would give people lap dances too

was the sound that plays when someone has a dream sequence yeah yeah I would do the wind chimes

they got real mad I was thinking of the one from the breakfast machine from pee I had And yeah, every Danny Elfman's song.

I had Goofy Goober Rock into Witch Doctor into a back to SpongeBob, the fun song. And then I would leave skid marks all over all the guys. Some of the waiters, too, because honestly, all guys look the same to me. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage, the slug. And I changed my name a lot. I went by the slug for a while. I went by Timu, and then I got sniped up by that website. So I've had a bad career.