Podcast About List - Ep. 330 - A Jester Time Traveled To The Future And Opened a Diarrhea Restaurant ft. Pierce

Episode Date: March 5, 2025

Pierce is here to tell us about Nickelodeon and also about his awesome new special he just released on YouTube that you will watch here Subscribe to us on YouTube youtube.com/@PodcastAboutListBuy tickets to our latest live show https://www.swagpoop.com/showsGet extra premium and Gun City RPG episodes at https://www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlistFollow us https://www.swagpoop.com/links

three, two, one. I like the count into the clap, a new innovation. I was treating it like I-Carley. Well, in I-Carly, they say, in five, four, three, two. Did they do the countdown? Movie producer from behind the camera.

When Freddy points at me, I freak the fuck out. Do you guys like Freddy's blue glue stick on his camera? No, what is that supposed to be for? Is it for Bluetooth? I don't know. It's awesome. Freddy is too short. I know he's just a kid, but Nathan

Gras grew up into a big man. You're going to want to Google Freddy. He does Freddy now. Hold on. Google Freddy now if you want to get your wishes. Yeah.

Hold on. I'm just going to pull up a Google tab really quick. Yeah. That's perfectly fine. My painting that's rolled up right there. So, Freddie now. Okay.

Wow. He looks a lot like a woman. He looks like an elongated version of a little boy. So I'm seeing a picture. picture of him, maybe a woman. But the first one is. I see. Yeah. I can't cast. He does.

He looks good now. Yeah. Nathan. Nathan K. But it really is mostly women's butts and jeans. Yeah. Why does this come up? Freddie now must be a woman's butt brand. That boy, Gibby grew up to be strange. It is, it's that it's, they're from their women's, women's slim fit jersey trousers now pants from Freddie official store.

Didn't give me successful? Wasn't Gibby making like million dollar extreme inspired videos? In like 2000. I would do if I was famous for Gibby, I would just be like, I'm going to go and say, I'm going to go edgy with it. It was like Vine Time. Yeah. In Vine Time. Some of those were kind of good.

I don't remember that. It went from pudgy to edgy. I like those. That's an interesting cut from the pudge and edge. Yeah. Well, but it's still sunk. Exactly. Because I watch those and I go, E.

Yeah. I watch him as as as as Gibby, I say P.U. Yeah. And I see him as basically his YouTube and I go. And where did, and where did he? Where did you? Where did the judge? We're talking about pudgy and edgy.

Yeah, but you said E, but where did you? Well, that's already in Pudgy. That's in edge. That's in Pudgy and edgy. We're switching out the Puggy for the E. So think of the words, we even have a whiteboard. We could write it out for you. So Patrick, write down Pudgy. What are other words that have a fudgy, edgy, pudgy quality?

Smudgy. He's acting very smudgy. So, look, Caleb, this is pudgy. That's a four. That's my bad. Okay. This here says pudgy. Yeah.

Now, Pat, write DGY under it. Transfer the DGY. Now, Caleb, I want you to take the marker. Use a different color. Use a different color. And I want you in front of that DGY. Put a magic E. I think you guys have to do more whiteboard work after this episode.

So what does that say? Edgey. Okay, no, no. So P.U is being used. I think Cameron was trying to say this. So circle the two fronts. P, you, and then put an E there. Wait, let me see, I can't see

I think Cameron was trying to say Put an E right, so you put the E there So it's visible And then Oh, Chugi is like If you put the- Oh, Chugie is like using the DG sound At the beginning of a word

So yeah, divide that by Chugie That's the result That'll equal G. Now write Gibby Oh wait, that's a good actually That is actually more helpful Gidgeby What do we have for Ghibi

What do we have for Iby? What do we have? What do we, no, was his brother name, his brother was named Guppy. You have Gibby? And didn't they make an episode called I Gibby? Yeah, and then they had Grampy. They've Grampy? I'm pretty sure they had Grampy.

I'm pretty sure that grandfather was involved. Maybe it was uncle. But I'm thinking in the same way that we've now broken down the G, what is other Ibby's that maybe are also Gibby? Libby. Libby from Jimmy Neutron. No, Jimmy Neutron. Yeah, characters.

Libby. Just put Jimmy down. Fuck it. Jimmy is close. Yeah. It does end in Y and start with a consonant. Oh, and then instead of spelling Jimmy with a J, spell it with a DG. Yeah, like from Pugian.

Yeah. Then write Neutron. DG. I am Y. And use the EU from Chugi for Neutron. Wait, first of all. Hold on. Let's get rid of Pearseness.

Why not? And then we need to. Yeah, we need more. room to do this calculation. Can you just the visible marker instead of the queen marker? What? Why are you here? The what marker? Do you say decibel marker?

What are you doing? Why are you spying? This isn't ready yet. We're not even recording. Shut off the webcam. We're figuring out what the episode's going to be about. Okay. So wait, no, no, use this one and write it up there.

Can you write yummy? Right, right. I can't. Really quick, let's have a break and we'll write yummy. Okay. And then I just thought of something about yummy. So, Caleb, what I want you to do is circle it. Circle the first and last letter.

Put an eye in front of yummy. And then underline the two M's. Okay. So this is basically why. Mm-hmm. Mm. Mm. And then you're,

hungry again. Why? Well, you know what you say when you're, like, I guess if you're a British you know, a feat guy, you might say, why? Why? When you taste something, yeah, that's good. And then you're interlocutor, especially if it's an American or some some peon, they might say, why?

Why? And then you reply, you. Yeah, because you are the chef. What's something that's like a circle or an underline, but is not an asterisk? Italics. Okay, well, italics. Italics would be too difficult.

No, just do Command I. Okay. Oh, there were... You wormified it. You made it into a worm. And obviously, people at home, they already know all of this. But we just said it would be funny to pretend, like, what have we figured all this stuff out for the first time?

It is, like, elementary stuff. Yeah. But, yeah. It's well-trodden. These are the first words you learned in school. I-Gibby. I-Gibby, guppy, guppy, guppy, guppy, guppy, gibby, jibby. Did Jimmy?

Neutron. Before we started, Patrick was like, I like my headphones at the level 1230, whereas you guys are more at 11, and we're all like, I guess we're just supposed to pretend to know what that means. That makes sense.

Patrick was talking about clock faces. So it was 12 would be straight up. You use a knob like a clock. I don't know if I told this story. Somebody has never flown a fighter jet before. Probably not. So one of those Myrtle Beach shops where they have shirts.

You already said that part. No, say it again. With all those graphics on it, Like, I got one that said, well, fuck it. I really do feel like I've told this story before now. We don't remember it. Well, anyway, there was the shirt that says, it says this one goes to 11, which I now know, and most people know, it's a spinal tap reference. Yeah.

But I was standing there with my friends, and a lot of these shirts are like sort of vulgar sex jokes. And so we're all looking at this and we're like, how does this one go to 11? How does this have to do with fucking and sex? Yeah. This one goes. 11 inches. 11 inches would be my immediate. Yeah.

We were more, like, it was, I don't know if you remember before you started to be with people. Intimately, you had all these ideas about, like, number counting with, we thought that it was like the amount of holes on a woman's body. Yeah, one in the front, one in the back. Well, we were trying to count 11 holes. That were like, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Because of the piss hole. so you were advanced enough to know that right and then everyone's like

or no well fuck it how old were you and then I remember well I just remember pointing at my belly button and going 10 and everyone was like oh oh that's the 10 and then this one goes to 11 this woman's body one extra I do I take

umbrage with the idea that your eyes are usable via holes let's try counting again one two three four five six seven eight Oh, 9.10. That is a moral hole than the eye. Not for fucking, but

you're not fucking the pee hole in a woman either. I mean, it just... The shirt doesn't say holes. It could just be... There's 11 things. Yeah, that's true. 11... Maybe it's more like... And it's vulgar. There's 11... 11 parts to a woman.

But cheek. Yeah. Foot, foot. Let's get a picture up here that's just like butchers... We should butcher. Like the round, Rump round.

All of that kind of shit. I remember being a kid and not having watched Spinal Tap and my dad trying to explain why it was funny. Yeah. And being... That's a tough conversation. Yeah. And having this conversation multiple times.

And not being allowed to watch it because I'm too young, but still having... Oh, he was just telling you about... But just telling me about the jokes and being like... Yeah. What is you... And being like... See, because they have amps that go to 11.

Yeah. What is there... What is it bad in spine? What is so... Well, it's rated R. Yeah! mostly the rocking that could scare a kid that could scare a kid would have scared me I guess it's maybe the euphemisms in the songs but even I didn't get any of that

shit when I was a kid the only thing I thought was cool is the cucumber it's right at all yeah the cucumber part the cucumber part I still never seen it it's real shit you see another Christopher guest I know the whole thing it goes to 11 yeah they're a rocker yeah so there's other stuff I've seen many other movies I don't I don't just name one other thing. There's a cucumber. I don't think you've seen the scene. You watch Veggie Tales, my friend. Oh, no. He puts a cucumber in his pants. He puts a cucumber in his pants

to make it look like his long penis. He's like trying to pretend that you've seen Spile Tap. Yeah, and I like the singing cucumber. The singing cucumber that's like a superhero. He's always looking for his hairbrush. I fucking hate fib. That fib, though, is just out of the rumor weed is really wrong.

When Larry the cucumber puts a cucumber in his pants, the last thing you're thinking is that he's trying to make his dick look bigger. Oh, did you find your hairbrush? Mm-hmm. Or it's, um, someone's got a little cucumber. You would sooner think that he's pretending to be pregnant. Yeah.

Yeah, it's a son. Yeah. Yeah, it could be a thing in cucumber, like, anatomy. Right. Like, where how the penguin father sits on the egg. Uh-huh. He has to put the cucumber in his pants. Just next to him.

Yeah. It goes inside a pepper. I don't like that. Oh, yeah. When you open up the pepper and there's a little pepper. That's always freaks me out. I think it's cool. You would think it's cool.

Another thing is that I remember listening to the Humpty dance when I was a kid. And there's one lyric where he says, In the 69, my houndy nose will take over your rear. And I remember asking my parents, what's the 69? And my mom was like, oh, it's a special kind of kiss that grownups do. Definitely have told this on the pod before. I don't think so. Well, as soon as she said, it's a special kind of kiss that grownups do,

I followed it up. I was like, oh, so there's 100 kisses. And number 69 is a special kiss where you kiss someone's butt. And she just went, yes. And so for years, like, literally until it was like 12 years old, I was like, I can't wait to find out what the other. other 9-9 kisses are. I know the first 10 must be like,

basic, yeah, cheek, tongue. So you wait, your idea is that it's ramping up in extremity. Or that 69 is like the secret, like, dirty level. Oh, okay. But you weren't thinking like 69 is,

like there's, it gets a severity, it gets worse. I guess part of me thought it must get even worse than that, but I bet most American adults love to visit the 69 because it's so humiliating.

Well, yeah, if butt is at 69, It's like, where else would, yeah. I feel like I would be, like, mid-30s is probably, that would be my upper-wind. I'm just doing one through ten and the occasional 80. Yeah, I like 80 for my birthday. Yeah. Can you imagine what 100 would be?

No, I think that's the tough part about it. Damn. Kiss 100. I honestly can't even imagine what 10 would be. If 69 is, I think I'm going to run out. 10 is, honestly, this hard. Yeah, that is really hard. There's definitely not so much space between a peck

and kissing somebody's butt cheek. That's what I... Yeah, about 67 entries of kissing. Pierce, you were wrong. I know. It's not logical. It's ridiculous. I know.

I know. I regret it. I've definitely told this before, but my mom thought that you remember the Jim Jones song that's like, ball we stay fly, no lie. You know this ballin. playing that in the car one time and she like turned it off.

I was like, why the fuck do you do that? She was like, do you not know what bawling means? And I was like, no, she's like, it's when you put your testicles inside of a woman's vagina. And I thought that until it's probably 16. Yeah. That's a kiss. That's one of the kisses.

Yeah, I guess it levels up. A kiss. So now a kiss doesn't have to use your mouth. Well, you have taste receptors and everyone's talking about how you have taste receptors on If it has taste receptors and you can kiss things with your nuts. They should do frauding but with balls. I mean, when I say they, I mean, game.

Yeah, I think they do. But they shouldn't tell me about it. Yeah, I don't want to know that they're doing. They should keep that in the thing. That's literally, okay, it sounds like it would be something crazy, crazy. Sounds like a type of cheese. It's literally just touching and rubbing your penises together.

It's essentially a way of passing the time. Can you believe they decided? They should have saved, they should have called fisting frauding. Yeah, I agree. It's very fraught. That needs a more made-up name. No, I think fisting is what that is. But that would just be fraud.

That's just penising. Yeah, it's nothing. You could call it penising. Well, you can call it that. Frauding is too interesting of a name for such a boring act. What's the one that Eminem is all he's fucking talking about? Huh? The one that's like suck, sucking come out of a butt hole.

Oh, it has a name? That's Eminem style. It's like squelching. Oh, felching. Feltching. Feltching. Faulting sounds like it should be something like that. That's what I'm saying, yeah. It needs to, that name is

Wasted. Something nobody's ever done type of. Fraudding is so nothing. It's like a collaborative form of thumb twiddling. It's a fucking nothing burger. There's no purpose to it. It's a war. Yeah. Frotting is mostly you do it so that you can look at your frot partner and just go like, what? Why the fuck are we doing?

This is great. What are we doing? It's like when you bring out, it's like when you dust off Candyland. You're like, fuck it, let's wait for it. You get four moves in, you're like, let's watch TV. Yeah, I guess nobody's frotting to completion. They probably, the inventor of frauding probably called it that to get people interested in doing it.

Yeah, like Greenland and Iceland. He was probably like, all right, today's the day I submit my entry to the great encyclopedia of sex acts. Yeah, you go to sex IKEA and you order the frauding. And then you're like, this looks amazing. And then you open the instructions. You're like, that's it. What?

I thought this was going to be on some felching shit. I'm a crazy gay guy. The great urban dictionary will now have Friday. Yeah, because when you're a gay guy, what you do is you get a big book and every night with your significant other, you open to a random page and you do whatever's on that page. We're going to do that.

All right. Tonight we're doing index. You say whatever has the strangest Dr. Sussian name, we're going to do that tonight. I think there should be something called booking, where you just close a book on someone's penis really hard. To flatten it. Yeah, to flatten it.

it. And then, and then hopefully the ink, if you said it there for long enough, the ink actually stays on it like silly putty. Wow. Because when silly putty did that, I liked that. Yeah. I really made my silly putty fucking ugly though. My silly putty. Yeah. And then you get it all over your hands. Ugh. We, are you, with strange straight things sex-wise from Urban Dictionary, they're always like a prank. Yeah. But all of the gay ones are like actually something you probably could do. Yeah. The straight ones are like, you remember the Houdini?

I don't, they all, it's all different names. Oh, yeah, that's a Patrice O'Neill. Oh, yeah, the Patrice O'Neill, Amy Schumer. Yeah. Yeah. Well, they invented it together. Oh, really? Oh, okay.

He, Houdini, tur. That's why he went to jail for all those years. Yeah, she thought she invented it because she had never heard his material. She's like, you know what's a funny name for what Patrice just did to me? Yeah. It's to be the Houdini. Yeah. I'll wait until he dies to tell people.

Yeah. I'll wait till long after he's done. Yeah, I would think, I would think if a sex act was called the Houdini, it'd be like you, you just like run into their belly as hard as you can. I agree. Diaphran collapse. Yeah.

Yeah, every straight urban dictionary sex act is like pooping off an airplane. Yeah. It's all like, it's criminality. Yeah. And all the gay ones are just like, yeah, you put the penis in a new area. Yeah. You put it on the thigh. on it

on it on top gay guys are so on top of it yes yeah they're so uninterested in sex

no that's the problem they're not bored of it they're not violent like all these other entries

yeah it's funny like all the straight weird stuff it's just like oh what if you

hated so much what if you stopped fucking um and I did something evil

and that's called boinking there is a huge list of injuries that are like, you have sex with a girl and then you punch her as hard as you can in the face. And then the blood kind of looks like

Charlie Chaplin. Yeah. Yeah. You shit in someone. Yeah. Some people like it when you grow up, I heal. Wouldn't it be so horrifying to find out that all of those were not some like 14 year old kid just type in them in because he was

bored in computer class. It was a real somebody actually cataloging. that's honestly writing it down yeah yeah that would be i think that might be what it was i don't think so the dark truth there's going to be a youtube dark truth there's going to be a video essay soon called the dark truth about urban dictionary yeah and it's going to be snow you guys remember going on urban dictionary and with your friends and looking up everyone's name and everyone be like the most kindest loving guy you could ever know perfect boy for material and then you'd look one up and it'd be like the ugliest stinkiest rapist in all of this yeah yeah yeah

Had that exact experience to the friend of mine. We did it on the show. We did that on the show. We did that on the show not long ago. Maybe like two years ago. That's long ago. All right.

I guess that is long ago. There's new people that have become interested in. Yeah, that's true. That's true. So we have Pierce with us today. Hi, guys. We never even met this guy before. Yeah, we didn't look up Pierce

on Urban Dictionary. It's really good. Guys, let's pull it up right now. It says to puncture something. that's not very urban though it's all chad stuff if you look up pierce yeah yeah wow how's that dude respect this feels great

my name is pierce campion and I'm 90 pounds it sucks I literally with a name like mine I should be eight feet tall and 400 pounds of piermosel that's what they should have a Harrison Bergeron should have been named that yeah who that and then you could have had Harrison Breron I could have had his name yeah

a little shrimp that'd be it Harrison Harrison wow Harrison is always just like a redhead kid with snot in his nose Yeah, nosebleeds type Yeah, allergic to nuts We can go on

Oh my god, nuts Stupid Oh, no Nerd Nerd Stupid nerd Stupid nerd That's the worst kind of nerd

Stupid fucking nerd Harrison I don't know anybody named Caleb These days Except for about five or six people I'm realizing But these days Like right now I'm closing my eyes I don't know a single...

There was nobody named Cameron when I was growing up, and now there's hell of people. You got sons. It felt basically as if there was basically one Cameron in every region, and we all grew up and met each other. That is, I think, exactly the truth. Yeah. I think I only knew one Cameron until I met you.

I think we got spread out. Yeah. I think there was a registry where it was... No repeat. I knew a few. Every zip code has a Cameron. I knew a few camerans growing up. Patrick is about just a little boring name.

Patrick is, I mean, if you're in Ireland, yeah, but I didn't have that many in my neighborhood. Oh, no, wait, I did. There was Patrick and Little Patrick. You literally have a fucking cousin with your exact same name. No, he has a different last name. Yeah, but there was also, there was Little Patrick in the neighborhood, and we would get confused when our moms would call us home for dinner. So he had to start, your mom had to start calling him Little. Yeah, Little Patrick, yeah.

He's in the Army now or something. Does he still eat dinner? He's eating MREs. He's in the Army. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Write down MRE. Okay.

MRE. Now I want to write MRE. Now I want you to write it again, but switch the first two letters. The first two letters switch them. That's really hard. Don't ruin this. Just do it. I fucking hate you, bro.

I hate you. What do you mean? What else could I mean by switch the first two letters? You didn't say switch them. You said you didn't say switch swap them. in the word. Yeah. Swap is different than switch. Bro. Switch them. This is crazy.

R. No. Oh my God. That's just a simple ban. It's over. Turn the whiteboard around to the wall. We're banned from the whiteboard. Whiteboard is a timeout because of what Patrick did. Patrick just lost us whiteboard privileges. I didn't know what the thing. I think I should have given the marker to Caleb. You can do the back of the thing now. I don't know. No, I don't think you can. Whoa. It was fun. It was fine. It's just a smudge now. I missed the whiteboard. Me too. It was our fourth guy. fifth. Well, I don't make

the rules. I didn't tell us to say to turn the whiteboard around. We should just always have a whiteboard. I feel like what's his name from Fox News? Glenn Beck. Oh, he used to go crazy on the whiteboard. A chalkboard if I'm remembering correctly. That's a better It's better. It's good to have a board.

Jesus, Obama. Notice anything? Yeah. Kind of interesting. Equal sign with a line. Throw the chalk across the room. He had a chalkboard. That's more distinguished than a white board, I think. Oh, definitely.

A chalkboard is more old-fashioned, though. You see a chalkboard, like, what are you doing with the chalkboard? Yeah, get that stupid shit out of here. Give me a white board. Because it gives you white lung. You know how, like, when a cat hears a metronome, it goes like... Yeah. Yeah. That's how I feel when someone's using a chalkboard, just like...

Me too. And you know what? I feel like this is just such a weird thing about me. I can't stand the nails on the chalkboard sound. That... I've never heard it, but I just know I won't like it. Nobody's ever really walked in anywhere and just scrape their nails down a chalkboard. When I was a kid, I thought it was like the sound of like carpenter nails on a chalkboard. Either way, it's not a plug. Yeah, no, it's, I was like, I feel like that's worse than fingernails because I tried

nails on a chalkboard. And I just remember him, like, it wasn't. You did that? I remember we wrote that scripts where like, some guys were scratching. Even this, I bet you don't like. I don't, I have a real movie. Yeah, when I think about it, it puts me, my hackles go up as well. Yeah.

It also bothers me. I can just do this all day. I just have a one. weird fingernail issue that I have to figure out one night. Don't let this guy near an Emory board. What's that? They say that the nails on the chalkboard hurts your soul so much is because it reminds us

of when our primate friends would scream about an eagle. Is that true? Yes, the same register of a primate screaming. There's an eagle about about. I say because it's reminds me of trying to escape from detention through the wall. Real shit. Trying to dig a hole in the chalkboard.

Banging on a chalkboard to get out of the glass. There's fucking window socks! Drawing the window. I hate this, I hate this green window. I bet when the chalk, well, this is kind of like a Tommy Bayer style joke, but like, I bet when chalk came out, chalkboards were like, let's go! Because for a while, it was just sort of a horrible window.

Yeah. A useless window. Don't scratch this. They didn't have, they didn't have any way. Hey, what the fuck is chalk? They discovered chalk because they had to figure out a way to write don't scratch this thing on it. it was

the scratch nails away it was a torture device that it was the problem was you couldn't erase anything that went

on the board because you wouldn't scratch it in it would be before they had an eraser for a long time just whee this eraser just doesn't work

this kind of a pointless fun thing to do yeah they would clap them out yeah this is actually not making any clouds I can breathe this

what is the point of this what is the point of clapping these together there's no clouds coming out of this then shot came around They were like, oh, shit. That was a crazy day. It kind of in retrospect makes you feel like we should have had this all along.

Can you imagine that telegram coming in? The chalk where they were like, oh, my. They had telegrams. Wait, no, this can't be writing it down. No, wait. Trying to draw a piece of chalk with a pencil. Just like, use this. This is just some kind of a cylinder.

Use a shape. How do we? you, where do we find this shape? Why didn't they make them just pencils, shaped like pencils? Because they're just stupid. I've seen, um, they are shaped like pencils. There's like, I've seen them in some cylinders, but why don't they have points?

They would have like, uh, chalk, like, points are created by them. They have that for sidewalk chalk. What's that real fancy chalk that's going extinct in Japan? Oh, I heard about this. What is up with this chalk? I don't know. I don't know. I guess it is the best chalk.

Chautua, though. Yeah, that would, be a good show to have. Boom. Yeah. So just maybe a soundboard after that one. Yeah, so maybe we're going to sit.

Something interesting. Okay. I was thinking about Japan a lot today. I was thinking about, you know, everybody's like, oh, the Japanese trains work so well.

I think it's because nobody fucking farts on them. I think they do fart on them. You can't fight. They have like a hermetic seal on the door. You can't fart in one of those. You can.

It would just be very bad. But nobody does it is the point that I'm trying to make. Where you go on the subway here, I cannot go three stops without a fart. You fart on the train. No, I sat next to a guy today who farted and it stayed around and I think he kept farting.

I think, yeah, out of respect for the victims of the sarin gas attack, they don't, they hold their farts until they get on the train. Because they don't want anyone to be reminded of that. Right, of gas. Yeah. Just in general. And they also don't just say, yeah, they don't fill up their car on the train usually either. No, because they try not to. Well, they probably don't want to call them.

it's a it's a very a culture that's very steeped in respect that I know yeah yeah there's a lot of like except for ninjas and Asianness ninjas are not respectful in any I think they're in a lot of ways they are they tiptoe around the house yeah yeah they don't and then they kill you they wear special shoes they dress modestly yeah uh not the ninjas I'm fucking looking at yeah I think you're looking at some fake ninjas yeah what are you looking at Ninjago? That is a... That's the newest ninja.

That is the newest ninja. There hasn't been any... Ninjas have been forgotten as a thing because they became too random, I guess. When I was in community theater, there was this like atomic, autistic, very charismatic guy named Luke, and he would come up to me

and he would just be like, hey, did you know that I just went to Killikon? And I was like, what's that? And he was like, it's an annual convention where all sorts of killers attend, ninjas, pirates, Vikings. I'm a ninja. And I was like, okay.

And he was like, yeah, I'm a ninja. I used ninja stars, killed a few people. I can move really fast. And I was like, okay. And he was like, anyway, we'll talk more about this later. And I went home and I was like, that's crazy. And then every day after that, he would tell me more lore about ninjas.

And I was like, actually, I was literally way too old to think that this guy was a real ninja. But he was so convinced. I guess I had never met like a charismatic autistic guy before but just like nothing on his face to indicate that he was joking

and I was just like I think I know like a ninja were you starting to get scared of him? Yeah and I literally I told my dad I was like there's this guy says he's like killed people with a ninja star but it can't be real right

and he was like what the fuck are you talking about and I was like nothing and I remember one day he was like yeah I can move all the way to that corner of the room and like that Do you want to watch? And I was like, sure.

And he goes, okay. And I literally did this. I went, stop, don't. I like, don't want to have a hard stuff. And I wasn't joking at all. And every time I think about it, I'm just like, I literally believed in magic. I was like, 11 or 12 years old and I actually thought that I knew a magic guy. I miss, I was thinking about that the other day.

I miss being a kid and believing what some other kid was telling me. Like, just like fully completely lying. They don't like, they're like. He was just ripping off Ask a Ninja, the YouTube series. Yeah, yeah. telling me lore from a YouTube video. Like, I remember having a friend who told me that he made a potion and remember believing that.

I remember a guy telling me about a video game he played that he like could go inside of. I believe in that. You know, just sort of like that was being like, yeah. Yeah. Dude, that's crazy. Wait, tell me more. I remember telling those lies also to kids when I was a kid and thinking that they

didn't believe me and they probably did. Yeah. I remember telling somebody I went for my sixth birthday. I went skydiving. I was not a liar. I was a full believer. I think every time somebody told me, a lie like that, I believe that.

You can go, I mean, you can go like indoor skydiving. Like, they didn't press you on it. I know, I said I jumped out of a plane. There's before that I was even invented. Patrick at the lunch table in first year, just like, wait, wait, wait. How is this already, how is this happening again? That's something. No, that I don't.

It's not that there's indoor skydiving. There's not about a plane. It's not about whether it's possible. It's about if it's true. I believe any kid that told me that. Yeah. Okay. I did that.

I just, I just say, I just think that they just think that they had a nicer life than mine. I wrote on a giraffe. You did not. No, wait, you can't. You could run on the giraffe's back. I wrote on its head. It's getting more difficult. Yeah, it's getting a little more difficult to defend. Speaking of lies, I've been inspired by Cameron's lies.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I had a pretty good one last night. Cameron had a lie? Cameron's been lying to his wife technique, which is basically you tell a lie that's so inconsequential and have it fly under the radar and the best the best ones is if you can get her to say really and then you say yes and then it's yeah and I did one last night my girlfriend had never seen a blue velvet before and it was the intro scene with like the crossing guard and I said did you know she's going to show you the picture you should you know

that that's David Lynch said that's he's doing a cameo right now as the crossing I used to say to people, did you know Elephant backwards as telephone? You have to just see the crossing guard. Are you going to show that camera this real quick? It's weird because this looks like Napoleon's grant from Napoleon Dynamics.

It looks like a circle. That's so lynchian. Yeah. It is a very lynchian stop sign, but that does look enough like him when he was old that I was like. Cut it. That's David Lynch.

Yeah, that's, I was just thinking about, like, Will Duncan, my buddy, he, he says, really? After, like, unremarkable true things, just like, yeah, I, like, talked to my mom the other day on the phone. Really? Just like, he stuck on, like, this really stupid, sarcastic, like, not even looking up from his phone, just like, really? It sucks. I hate him. I hate my friend. He's an idiot.

He's so dumb. Pissing me off. Jay? Shitter, shitter. So does he ever, like, tell a little lies, or do you ever lie? He says things that, I mean, I don't know if I've said this on the, or maybe he's even said it on your pod way back in the day, a fart sound featuring Will Duncan. But he misremembered titles of movies. He always calls a big fat liar, big fat blue liar.

That's understandable to me. he thinks he kind of rewind is called thank you for watching he's like thank you for watching with Jack Black

yeah when they swede the movies he's thinking of thank you for smoking yeah I was gonna say and then he thinks do the right thing

is a hot day in Brooklyn so he just he thinks that he just thinks those things and he just wants them to be a little more descriptive of what is happening

in the movie that blue liar these are like nomonic devices for him just adding the they should add the color in to any it's what

it's what he thinks the movie is except for thank you for watching doesn't make any sense with this idea of what's going on his head but that's

rewind is not a good title for that no he thinks he thinks edge of tomorrow is called live dire repeat well that's

understandable yeah well yeah what's edge of tomorrow you fucking idiot right edge we already no we have edge

so change change E on edgy to E Right Pudge of Tomorrow. What is edge of tomorrow, though? Is that James Bond? You never seen that shit? Tom Cruise goes back. He lives, dies with peace.

Tom Cruise, looping his death? Oh, no, I've never seen it. Groundhog Day with freaking aliens. Sounds cool. It's fucking badass. Oh, it was taped to cover up a hole. I'm sorry. No, it's okay.

This would be maybe Tom Choose or something. Maybe a fact guy. I just can't see any of the whiteboard. What says, Pudge of Tomorrow. Okay. That doesn't really say tomorrow. It doesn't say that at all. It says, Tom has a one has a most.

Tomosi. Yeah, it says Tomosi. Pudge of Tamosi. That's the name of a medieval jester. I am the Pug of Tamosi. Is gestorism a real? Was this a real thing? Yes.

Really. Yes. He's the only person who could insult the kid. The gesture privilege. Yeah, but what? He was cool. Do you don't have any famous gestures in what they said and what they did? What is the most famous jester of them all?

what I don't know Mr. Mime No, that's a famous Pokemon Paliachi No, that's a He's a clown It's a cool, not even a real clown

I think he actually was based on a real clown Based on But we're talking about the joke one Who isn't real He said maybe they have the same name But it's not the same guy But there's not a famous gesture That we can like look at his material

I think that the thing about Lons from two gentlemen of Verona Yeah there was a bunch of Shakespeare Really? Yeah, but that's, I'm not talking about like a character. I'm talking about like and yet he mentions Pagliachi. Jester's are. Pagliachi is a clown.

It's a character and a joke. It's a character and a joke. Okay. The horse that walks into a bar? Another character. I can't have this conversation with you guys again. I'm talking about like, I'm talking about like was there a jester in King Camelots court? It's a character. Well, I mean, he's a real character. He act

crazy. Yes. You really wanted to say. That guy's a real character. I'm never hanging out with him and you'll never hang out with them and you never see him because he doesn't exist. Yeah. I have hanged out with him. You have not hung out with the joker. Oh, the jester. I was thinking of the jester. You haven't hung out with the jester either. And I said, I will never hang out with that guy again.

Okay, so that's... He was funny, though, right? Yeah, but he was fucking roasting me. But Mike... Yeah. So he roasts. He dances around. It sounds like a roaster. It sounds really funny. So why do you just not like the idea of a jester existing? Just pisses me off that we don't even know if they,

if anything was actually funny. It's just like... There's no Sir Lanes a lot of gestures. They get so much credit. Oh, these were the funniest guys in the way of the castle. You got it. You got to give it to him. That is the funniest hat.

Yeah, but it really is. That's the only thing we know about them. I would credit the designer of the hat who there probably was. And he probably designs the shoes, too. We don't know. The shoes were pretty funny, too. Shoes are okay. Jester was doing these long, like, drawn out speeches about all of the hypocrisies of the king.

And the king is laughing his ass off. But it's only because he just thinks that the bells on his hat are funny. Not even hearing a single thing. It's because the jester... He's pleading to the king about saving my family. It's because the jester has a little paunch on him.

He is a little chubby guy. He was chubby. Well, weren't they like disfigured or something? Isn't that a classic jester thing? That was a freak... Wait, it's just walking in with a... A count dwarf is different

than a count jester. Yeah, the... The dwarf had spells. Count dwarves in court, yes. Count dwarves in court, yes. Count dwarf? It's... But is it not...

It's different? completely different? The dwarf Or is it not a similar role? I read a book called The Dwarf and it's about like a core dwarf And I think he has different privileges Okay

Like what? I think the court dwarf Is allowed to criticize Well in the book He's always talking about the He's always like I hate the prince And the prince is like

You are so splendid He can't talk about the king Only the prince Because he's small That's how high he can go Yeah He can't see him yeah If he was a little taller

He could probably talk about the king Right Dude So we're really gonna roast Court dwarfs like that Just an interesting, yeah Didn't expect for this to be our most cancelable episode But I don't care

Don't matter, I got just as privilege And you don't Just that Just privilege But there must have been real things There must have been a real gesture I guess I'm You just don't like it

Let's see who the most famous gesture will Just look up, thank you Yeah I guess that is making This is a beautiful wall paper Thank you I haven't changed it Even though this has just become my laptop I have not changed this

for some reason. I guess if the king is like enthusiastic about his jester, and maybe there's someone in the court who's like trying to explain the jokes to the king. Will Summers. Will Summers. Oh, Tribolet. I've heard of that one.

Tribulet. Stanzic and Matarine de Vio. Can you tell one of his famous bits? Yeah, like what jokes? I'm just interested in what kind of jokes they were telling. It seems like they danced, mimed, and entertained. Yeah, but... A lot of the jokes back then

We're like, I saw a deer eating a berry. As if it were a human. Here's a website called jesterplanet.com. The world of jester's. The world of jesteres. All right. I'm interested now. Do they have a section for jester jokes?

They do have a section for modern gestures. I'd just like to really quickly. Yeah, let's see. Okay, Joker. State appointed jesters. Some guys filming us. See, that's why this door. Oh, four guys with a microphone.

Oh, okay. This is not a moderate at all. Yeah, this is not modern. They don't even look scary to me, or funny to me. They look scary. Okay, so we're starting to get, we're starting to peel back the layers here and understand your issue, I think.

No, it's not, I just accidentally said some stupid shit that I fucked up when I said. Yeah, some guys came in and made us flustered. You just want to own the funniest person in the world. Yeah. I just don't want to. like them and I don't, I wish that we had a, I wish that we don't

even have them. I wish we didn't have them anymore. Just sucks that they're always a brown. When it comes to jesters, China and Europe have their own unique styles and traditions. Chinese gestures known as Giannis Chang. Is there a jester revival movement, like the clown stuff? Maybe. Is not, is it a clown?

Yeah, a clown is a type of gesture. A jester is just a clown that you own. Yeah. It's a slave clown. Yeah, it's like a role in a kingdom, right? It's like, yeah, it's a clown who's in service to the king. Yeah. And like a princess is a woman that the prince owns. A princess is a woman prince. Or the daughter of the king. That too. Will Summers, a jester who served with King Henry the 8th of England, was so famous that he and his daughter Jane Fool. Wow.

Became well known as the king and his daughter Mary. What? Became as well known. I missed a few words. I missed a word. I don't care about gestures even if you're not interested in this even if one like knocked on my door and said like I'm from the past I'm a jester you'd fucking close the door right there

I like the outfit oh I've seen oh that's a really bad opener if you someone opens if you're a knock on the door he said I'm from the past knock knock who's there a jester who from the past okay where's this going

I guess I guess you really need a call to action immediately yeah you're familiar if you're showing up to someone his door in a jester outfit. You need to be like direct. I need you to do this. Right.

Because you're not going to be taken seriously. Yeah, maybe why would he be going back to the future though? He needs, yeah, why does he need you?

To make you laugh so he can be sent back to his time. He just, my idea for a movie about him. That's good. A jester who needs, oh my God. And he only has

medieval sense of humor. And so nobody, everybody's like, what the fuck is wrong with you? What does it mean? Nobody will laugh at him. Nobody's laughing. Because he's saying the Barry joke.

He's saying, like, I've seen wood that was as hard as rock. And they're going, okay, man, all right, whatever. He has to find the one guy who will laugh at that. And he's competing in, like, Union Square with the 10 man and all this shit. Then he gets on the bus, right? He gets thrown onto a bus. Ends up at medieval times. The restaurant.

What can a bird not do? I don't know. Kiss. Because of it's beak Oh, the beak The beets, the beat, the beat's a wonderful Yes Oh, but are beaks

Ah Anyhow, would you like to hear another joke? Oh, if the stars were blueberries How full I would be This is an amazing idea for a movie Yeah This is the What?

This needs to happen Yeah, there's more, that sounds more like riddles. He just needs one laugh. Until I saw a leaf. It turns out it was a lily pad. Lillies of the water, how green they are. If you ever get lost in the woods, look for a tree. No.

They didn't even have non-jokes back then. You know what I just said. I just do it there. No. The first time someone said something, it didn't make sense. I've just found some moss. No. Okay.

That was literally blow your mind. That was the first not joke you ever heard. Whoa. Just screaming and then screaming something and then saying. Lack thereof. The king's idea of running his kingdom is to go to war with his enemies. Don't cut my head off. Yeah, you don't laugh and he starts groveling.

He's covered his neck. Kissing his feet. Please, please, please. I'm sorry, you have a good idea of how to run the kingdom. He would probably think, You'll run to me self, suffer, not me. Okay, I think that I will write this. I shall retire.

It goes to bed. Yeah. It would really be a sad movie. Yeah. Well, yeah, that's the thing about gestures. They're probably sadder than anyone who was in the kingdom at that time. probably making fun of cavemen a lot, because they were

just there. Like we're doing with gestures. Yeah, they were looking back. Oh, remember when we put a rock in water, called it a soup, how trifly we were. I'm sure we're going to go to battle with our

clubs. No, I guess forgo the sword and reach for the club. No. I'm imagining in a gesture movie. And do not get me started on the early Christians. When he travels to the present day

and he knocks on somebody's door and his opening joke is they open the door and he says Hello, Mule. The hell are you talking about? I behold before me a jack-and-ape. Jack-an-Ape live next door. This could be a good scene.

Okay, so this would be... I'm talking to Joe Dirt. Yeah. in the Joe Dirt This is a subplot in Joe Dirt 2 Joe Dirt 3 Joe Dirt 3

Joe Dirt meets the jester of your Joe Dirt Hmm Where does that's what I stand on I don't know if that's funny Yes A man of weight I also feel like a man made of dirt

This is good I feel like you would also You would be trying to tell the gesture, be like, no, this is what I think is funny and showing him videos and telling him jokes and he'd be like, yeah. How queer. But this

does not, this does not make sense to me. This doesn't shame this king. Where are the bells? Hmm. No. It's much too, it's much too silly. This is childish.

This is childish. It's immature. And then to a big moment would be when he throws the hat down. Stamps on it. We hear it jingle every single time he stumbling. And that makes him laugh. And he goes, because pain. And then he thinks that he has suffering.

And then he starts like cutting his own hand off and stuff thinking that's going to do the same thing. But I don't want to go home. I like it. I like porn hub. And then that people are laughing at McDonald's. I like porn hub and McDonald's and Donald's and Donald Trump. I like J.D. Vance and Elon Musk. I don't want to go back to my time.

I like the Republican Party. Elon Mutz thinks he's the king. That's actually what Libs think is funny right now. They're doing court gesture humor. So the scene where you show that the jester, the daily show, and you're like, this might be more your speed. So Donald Trump is kind of like our king right now. The jester, John Stewart.

He's heard of him. It's because of the oldest name ever. He skews the king with such precision. We had a man named John Stewart and my day as well. He was drawn in court. He was right John Stewart. Okay. Okay.

We're running out of space, but I'll... Just put it down. John. John? Is he an N? Yeah, he is an N. Or an H? No H.

It doesn't matter for my purposes. Stewart. All right, now delete the H and the N. Okay, delete them. And now delete the S. Okay. What does that sound like? Joe D'Oort.

Joe Turt. Joe Dirt. Or, okay, now delete the D. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Take the S away again. The Joe Sturt. Yeah. Take the S away, now take the T away.

No, no, the other T. Put that T back, and now put the other T back away. The Jotter. that's so if you're wondering why John Stewart is so funny yeah it's in his name he's not only Joe Dirt he's also Jester and the Joker well that's the thing it is a stage name

really yeah John Stewart is a stage name so Jester Jester he picked the funniest name and this is probably how he did it yeah okay now now delete J and H uh huh okay well Joe Jost Oh, my God.

Why do they familiarize themselves with each other? That's why they're in the news. Put the N back and keep the H away. Now, erase the J. Now take away the S. Now after the T, write V on TV. Now write erase TV, write S&L. Now write Jost at the top.

now write is now do an exclamation point after SNL and then the exclamation point turn it upside down and now write Carley

now write is on Nickelodeon okay so this is interesting I'm starting to see the connection now we have more kind of stuff to work with too This is Pierce style comedy

Yeah This is the kind of shit that I don't know Yeah this is the type of shit we started doing When you're doing word play schizo type shit Yeah it's kind of like giving Conor O'Malley In a lot of ways No dude Please don't compare me to everyone's favorite guy

Can we not look at this It's a portal to hell Yeah I was gonna say he has a new contraption He's thinking of He's thinking too hard You're right I'm getting up

I don't know what Can you just say what you were thinking of that took you out of it for that long? I was going to try to find Carl is my son. That it's really hard. Maybe I'll just write it at some point. It's fine. I can figure it out. We'll write it at some point.

You guys leave up. Okay. Carl is my son. That's what Mr. Weezer says. Or Mr. Shameless. That motherfucker from the walking dead. Oh, yeah.

Remember that. It's kind of fucked up there. Carl should be a dad, not a son. Yeah, Carl is a dad. name. Car World Weezer. Whoa. Jimmy, I have to

find, I have to find Corex. I have to find Corex. I'm going to jail. That's not. Okay. So we have a list here. Oh, yeah. That's what I meant by kicking at old school. Yeah.

Yeah, I thought beers might be a part of it, too, but I guess I was the beer guy in the old days. So I have two lists here. and I don't know. So you have the, today you had the task. Yeah. So it's,

and I found two that I had liked. I guess I'll go with this one, the top 10 terrible popular opinions. And they, this is by Cody does stuff. And this is his first list on this website.

I'm getting butterflies in my tummy. Yeah. So let's, let's see how this goes. Can I just say before we start? I just love you guys. It's been such a long road. Oh, I love you.

It's been what six. Six years. Yeah. Six years. Six years, yeah. Something like that. Someone around there. You know, you have I'm the money.

You have, I'm going to troll the pilot. Did you help write the guy to $100 too? Nope. No. I thought you did. I thought you were involved with it. So, yeah, shut the fuck up because you didn't help with that. I didn't really help with that.

Yeah. I didn't read that shit either. No, I did. I don't think anyone did. No, there's no point. I read that shit. So the number one terrible popular opinion. Being autistic means you are evil.

Oh, what a terrible popular opinion. This is the most terrible popular opinion. You get older and these things are just actually just atrocious to even read. I know. It's like I used to seek this kind of stuff out. I used to be like, I used to read this sentence over and over just to get a sick thrill. Yes.

And now I used to go to live leak.com and look at sentences like this every day in middle school. You remember when they would release a really horrible sentence on live? Well, here's a horrible sentence right here. I yelled at my mom. Oh my God. Slamming your laptop. That was going around for a long time. I mean, when you said that, I guess I flash back to like when we would first record

these episodes as Munchkins. And I mean, obviously, as you get older, people will tell you this, that more cameras start appearing and you start performing for the visual medium instead of, I can just imagine just laughing at that, cackling at just the sentence of it. Yeah. That would probably take up 15 minutes with the whole podcast, just laughing. It really, it really would. It's like getting a studio audience in my head all the time.

There's always just a little jitterbug, a laugh. laughing at the most horrible popular opinions. Yeah. Well, here's an evil sentence that you would see on LiveLeague. I actually believe I'm evil, but for further reasons. The ones that everyone hates me for.

Suicidal, doesn't respect opinions, wants the world to end. Suicide for what reasons? I don't know. Probably because, it's probably all... And just some random dude says, damn, I feel sorry for you. I hope you can get out of this mood.

wanting the world to end that's pretty evil I would say that's the main thing leading to everything else yeah those two are in conflict suicidal is to it's not suicidal is just taking up a slot there you can you can swap in something else

like I want to kill somebody or you know something else evil suicidal is not doing the work if you already want the world to end it's a good defense for a mass shooter is like I was trying my best to make the whole world and I didn't want to just kill the people

at the mall I'm not a mall shooter I was trying to nuke the earth but I'm just a regular guy This is the only thing I could do This is the only thing I could muster It was just a simple gun It's normal to want the world to end And I guess all you had was a gun

Yeah I guess we'd let you up the hook this time Yeah Makes perfect sense to me Do you think there's a way To kill one person And create a chain of suicides Based off this one person dying That ends up extincting the entire human race

Wow, no And who No one at all, maybe. You don't think there's even one guy. If the answer to your question, Caleb, I know what you want us to say, is you want us to say the world's most renowned jester.

Yeah. Because if we kill him, everyone's going to be like, well, fuck it. I can't. There's no reason to laugh. He was really, I'm not even thinking about gestures anymore.

Just the most beloved person. It doesn't even have to be beloved. The person who is beloved by one person and then that person is beloved by another to the extent that it would create an amazing chance. Oh, so an easy way to answer to answer this question. is like, find the person who everyone loves most in the...

An easy way to answer this question is to find someone who someone who doesn't matter really loves and then find the person that that person cares the most about and then go all the way back to the very time. I know what you're saying about a chain reaction one by one, but you could just find someone

who's the most beloved and then it would work faster. But then I think like that, that's like a traitor, but it's... The idea is that it keeps going out where you have to find a person. I mean, The answer to your question is to make up a person. You want an imaginary quality of a person. I want to know if the entire existence of humanity is running on,

writing on one single guy. Yeah. Not killing himself. Happy silly man. He doesn't have to be happy. Oh, silly man. Silly man who lives. Mr.

War starter. No, because it's not a war. There's no war. There's no war here. It's individual decisions all the way down. I think it would be like Mr. Happy Silly Man's mother. Like for an example, I would kill myself if you killed yourself. Okay.

I think that we know that. And then it ends there. So that's a tough one. But who would? I might have a couple of cents to celebrate if both of you guys are out of a bit. Not seeing how that one goes any further. So I'm going to find this person. Yeah.

And make sure they're okay. Yeah. Make sure everything is good for them. I'm just checking up on you. I'm going to follow them around all the time. check up on their life. Send them just be in the room and all the... I'd like recommend them.

Sending them. Just to make sure you're not going to kill yourself, I'm going to give you a lot of medication. I'm going to make sure your thoughts are being very stable. I'm going to follow them and every time they go to a drive-through, I'm going to cut in front of them and do the pay for the person behind. That's a good idea. That I think has stopped millions of suicides probably.

Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. And that and like to stay, just disabling traps. Disabling suicide traps. That is true. The shotgun with the piece of piano wire which is how I want to go out.

I want to kill myself with a trap. A hundred percent. That's a good way to go. But also nobody around to see it happen. I thought you were talking about a trap that when you trip the trap it stops you. It makes it impossible to commit.

What is impossible? Or even like I was imagining in my head like a debuff like in a video game. Like, it's like when you step on this, you can't kill yourself. For a bit. For some period of time, it really is a cloud. If you're in the cloud, it grays out your suicide on your hot bar. A suicide preventing debuff is most drugs, right?

Yeah. Yeah. It gray, yeah, your suicide is on cool down until you stop taking this. Yeah. Fission spinners for that for a long time. You could press B and kill yourself instantly. Yeah. The Fidgett Cube is a suicide postponer. Yeah.

What else was there? Like you're reaching for either a gun or a fidget cube. Yeah. This thing. The jelly thing. The jelly thing that you would always imagine putting your penis in. Yeah. Oh, the squelcher device.

There we go. Why could I never just get that thing in the bathroom and try it one fucking time? I know. It wasn't big enough. I don't know that. You know it would make a really good black mirror episode. It wasn't big enough for me and you. Yeah.

You would make a really good black mirror episode? If they basically had a Sims-style game that was everyone had to their own simulated world and then they were like okay we're going to add suicide to the game and the sim will scan its situation and decide when to kill itself and they all kill themselves instantly because they're fucking slaves to the yeah that's true they realize their existence not funny but just a good eye that's a good black mirror they could good 30 second black mirror yeah wait I think that that actually is an episode of so I never watch black mirror I don't know much about it probably there's an episode where they're in a some kind of simulation crap and I

they try to kill themselves and it's like they just wake back up and it's like The only one I've seen is the one with Jesse Bipo Dino Moe

Aup It's still in the same Torco Wayne Yeah Fallum Fallum Follum

Dibbebo Didi do Dido Dito Dio B dodo Dio do Dio Dio Dio

Dio Lebo Duly Dooli? Doolio Dillipo crumpling it up Fuck Fuck! Fuck!

Don't live in this is it, sir? Fuck. Fuck. Who don't? Fuck you. Fuck me. Saying it to everyone. Fuck!

That's a black mirror episode. Yeah. The invention is swearing in black mirror. Every idea I've had today is a black mirror episode. Number two is Trump is a good president. That makes you. What is the name of the list again? Evil popular opinions?

Terrible popular opinions. Trump is a good president? Trump is a good president. That's a popular opinion now. Yeah, it's so seems... That would be terrible even if it was back when it was unpopular. Here's what... Something forever said, guys, I hate this.

When I was like eight years old, I was talking with my bestie, she starts saying that Trump is the best president. I mean, come on, you know he's not. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's not the best president. It would be an even more terrible opinion before 2016.

Yeah. True. That'd be the worst. First of all, buddy, he ain't good. Also, you're motherfucking crazy as fuck. He ain't fucking president. Yeah. This one, this perfect impulse X says, why would anyone like the annoying orange in the first place?

Right. And someone hit that with a wall. Damn. Yeah, he's like the annoying orange. He's like if the annoying orange was a president. Yeah. Yeah. He's like the annoying orange.

The annoying orange is a fascist. And J.D. Vance is like the annoying white. Yeah. White banana. here's like a rupee car like when you peel off the peel of the banana and it's fucking white and you're like I thought this shit's yellow

he's fucking pithy dude you know that he's like piff every fucking fruit you think it's one color then you open it and it's fucking white oh a green apple that's awesome I like green I'm supposed to eat green food

it's white with a little bit of black dots in the middle it just sucks everything fucking sucks the fa rage meme when you sitting down to eat a green food

it's white I always I think I don't know if I told this on the podcast for I don't think I did it will never be white that will never be white it's green

I always walk by this preschool that always has they're like what the kids are doing today we're on a whiteboard and I was look because they're always doing something cute

and one of my favorite one I walked by is it was like good morning seedlings today we're going to this is like what they're going to do for the whole day

presumably today we're going to taste test the difference between red and green app. That's your job. You're like a preschool teacher. You have to get a bunch of kids to sit down and be like, okay, now try the green one. It's a little bit more. The kids are already too sweet. It's green. That it's funny, especially because that teacher, they're both white. I've walked by that preschool and it's definitely like $30,000. Yeah, it's like a super

bougie. Yeah. And your kid is telling the difference between apples. Yeah. That's a good skill. that comes in handy they're not even bringing in golden apples into the equation yeah or a honey crisp how many colors is on this fucking apple honey crisp is a whole multi-coral churl apple

it's funny how I was really convinced for a second that all fruits were white once you open them but I think we talked about the only two fruits that are white what about a pear pears and an Asian pair and parts of an orange the little parts that you don't eat

and you peel them off the pie I think it's safe to say it in an orange There's some white inside of a... You didn't know about an orange being inside orange. They should call it orange and orange and white. There is white to it. There's not a purely orange.

There's some white inside of bell pepper. Yeah. Those are the seeds, though. No, there's the white. There's the white part. But a bell pepper, again, you're buying it and you're thinking that this is red with a little bit of green.

They literally say red, yellow, orange green. Yeah, and then you... I'm like, I get home. There's a little bit of fucking white. There's a white spine that I can't eat. And I don't even get to eat the white part of most fruit. And what colors the damn stick. It varies.

It's also confusing because on an apple you eat the white part and then in a pepper or an orange you don't want the white part. So a watermelon is interesting. A watermelon is interesting. There's barely any white. Yeah. Well, except for the white watermel. The white part. You've never seen that?

No. It's a fully white. Well, thank you. I'll back him up. Oh, a cantaloupe is or no, a honeydew is kind of whiteish on the outside. On the outside, it looks like a turtle shell. It doesn't even look edible. No.

No, a honeydew. It looks like a volleyball. A cantalote. A turtle. I'm thinking of a turtle canterloaf. Which one is the, the hunter is more whiter. Just like a turtle. Cantalot looks like a rock.

It's kind of a yellowish on that. That's like a rock. But then a cantalove looks like a turtle. Yeah, the outside of a turtle looks like a sophisticated rock. Yeah. That's true. Oh, great, a fancy rock. That type of thing.

Yeah. And a rhino's horn looks like a sophisticated horn. I stubbed my toe on this fancy rock. Wait a minute. That's actually its skin. Well, no, it's not a skin. It's a shell. It's a shell.

I thought the shell is its skin. The shell is its bone. The shell is covering, it covers it, and it is a bone. No, the shell's made of carrots in, isn't it? Yeah. Well, that doesn't make it skin. No, it doesn't make it skin, but it makes it hair. It's its hair.

It doesn't make it hair. It's not, it's a nail. Our nails are not our hair. Actually, they're made of the same material. I know they're made of the same material, but that's my point. Actually, they're made of the same material. And this is hair, and this is nail. You pointed to your whole head.

Yeah. Your head is nail. This is nail. This is nail head. You're fucking nail head. The nail head. there's a rupee car poem on this uh trump one here is the final comment on it and it said uh this man is so terrible i hope oh this piece of trash i hope he gets food poisoning from mcdonalds

oh he ate it one time wow It's so funny because he used to McDonald's to avoid getting poisoned. Yeah. Yeah, that's, well, I never thought about that. But who's that British, that British guy who's always like, wine tastes better when it's poured from a bottle. Louis Thoreau. Is that who he is?

No. Well, because there's some guy on YouTube shorts. Michael Kane. Or told. But he says, what does he say? Master wine. He does say that. If we're talking about the same guy,

wait, yeah, the guy who says Master Wayne and he always says snacks. That's Michael Kane. Well, Alfred Penn. anywhere, but yeah. So continue. What are we doing? What about? What's the last thing you read in the poem?

Oh, food poisoning. He was like a lot of Olympic athletes. They love McDonald's because it never goes wrong when you eat there. He says if you go to a Michelin Star restaurant, they're going to serve you a raw whatever on a, on a, you don't know fucking nothing. I feel that way as well. A raw whatever on an overcooked nothing. Yeah.

I don't trust them. That's what I had real bad food poisoning because I ate raw shrimp at a nice restaurant. Right. You just believe you buy it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they spend most of their effort polishing those damn stars. Yeah, they're not checking the lettuce for tainting.

And also cleaning up the sides of the plate, that pisses me off. Yeah. Let me get that extra sauce. Give me the napkin. Give me that not. Wiping should never be wiped it for preparation. Don't give me the food and then fucking wipe half of it away.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wiping is what you do when you're done. Yeah. That's what I think. Don't start with a wipe. They should have a restaurant where you order your food

and then you get your food and then they cut it and half and they give half of it to the person at a different table. Why would I, anybody go to? It would go viral. Buddy, it would go viral. Okay, I think you, viral is not always good.

Look up a Karen video. Can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I drop a quote on you. I, you can, you might want to cover your ears because this one gone below you. My ears are already covered with that. All press is good press. That's a good quote. That is a really good quote. Nothing I can say.

Yeah, look at it. Nothing I can fucking set. His mind is blown. Pay full price. Get half portion. But at that point always is my restaurant. Somebody else gets the other half. It's not getting thrown away.

This is a restaurant that serves diarrhea. That's not a good, you're not. I would go. I would go. For why? If I saw an Instagram reel and it was in New York City and they said, this is a restaurant that serves diarrhea and it was real, I'd go. It would fucking.

Can I have the diarrhea from the video? We're actually. Yeah. Sorry. They have just a really fine menu. Regular poop. We do have regular poop right now. Is it still stinky or nasty?

No. It's pretty. You wouldn't actually go to that. restaurant because of the smell would be putrid. I would visit the restaurant. I'm not saying I'd eat there. What do they season? What do they season? You're even walking down the block. Yeah, of course they season the diarrhea. They're not animals.

It's a restaurant that serves diarrhea. Yeah, and it's fucked up. They shouldn't do that. Yeah. That's why I'd go. To just see it? Yeah. See someone to eat it? Just look in the window. I would be like, what the fuck is going on there? I'd go see it. The thing is, you probably could have a restaurant that fucking serves diarrhea. Yeah, I know. I could.

Yeah. I think you'd be good at that. I'd be a good waiter at the diarrhea restaurant. Yeah. Because I'd be like, don't order that. Just whatever you do. Yeah, they're like, so what's good on the menu? Just not the diarrhea. That's like a, like so.

It's like the chicken strips. I don't really see the appeal. It's like a fancy restaurant deserve diarrhea and chicken strips. The Texas toast, the coleslaw, the cream of fries, and the cane sauce. I don't love the diarrhea. Basically steak through the diarrhea. It's like the diarrhea, but it's like a restaurant like Dick's Last Resort where you go there for the experience.

But like the whole experience is for them to not sell you the diarrhea. There should be a really nice restaurant with diarrhea on the menu. And if someone tries to order it, you just say, it's like the whole, the whole gimmick. If they can make it, but that's an old version of her menu. Yeah, it's kind of a good is to see how many hoops your waiter will jump through to not sell you diarrhea. It's a fancy restaurant. You order your, they don't have diarrhea on the menu. It's just a normal fancy restaurant.

You order your food. They bring you a place. of diarrhea. You go, what the fuck? Are you serious? They say, no, we're not. They switch it out from normal food. It's just a funny It's a funny prank. They wipe off the diarrhea and they put it on the same thing. Can you imagine getting pranked like that? The entire room fills

with the smell of diarrhea. You have to eat it. You don't have to eat it. It's sitting on top of a cellophane. Here's your food. Go ahead. It's your food. No, no. Stay. The food. They're holding them on the big plate. They're just next to each other. The diarrhea is like dripping. Swashing around. Sir, it's a prank.

we're not asking you to eat your food's right here that'd be disgusting I'd never sell you diarrhea They should just put diarrhea on the menu at Dick's last resort Yeah To be like yeah

And all that's fucking Yeah Here's what you would order Here's what you would order That's what they write on the hat They say ordered the diarrhea That's a freebie That takes some mental

Aft in this diary restaurant It just says I ordered diarrhea Yeah And you don't have to come up That way you don't have to hire Whitty rate waiters Yeah you don't have to have like

Improats people to be your waiters. Yeah. It's just, it's simple. Everybody's here is ordering diarrhea. It's pretty fucking easy. It's kind of a layup. Really? It would be funny. They should have a guess. You're here for diarrhea. Just a picture of like a smiling face of diarrhea. The host at Dick's Last Resort when you're getting seated should like ask you, should make you fill out a form with some details about you. They're easily made fun of. So that the waiter doesn't have to fucking think on the fly all the time. This poor guy. It's so burnt out by the end of the day.

fucking annoying. Like a preliminary, like, please don't make fun of this. Yeah. And then they make fun of that shit. Can you imagine how good it would feel? You walk in a dick slash resort. The guy of the door says, sir, you can't come in.

There's nothing about you that we can make fun of. You are perfect. You're too alpha. You're too much of a fucking Chad. You're so alpha, we'd like to hire you as a waiter at Dick's last resort. I can just tell. All your ugly friends go and just like, okay, we're going to go eat. Yeah, I'll see you later.

I've never been. I'm going to wait on you. Are you allowed to give it back to him? No. You're allowed to give it right back. You are? Yeah, they don't stop. They don't say,

Shut up! Shut up! They're going to roast you. They're not sensitive. They're not just going to take it, though. You are a waiter. They'll say you're a fat whale. Yeah,

I would say you are literally working for me. We should go to Dick's Last Resort all the time. I agree. I really try to throw it back. It must be. Like, actually ugly. You work at a restaurant.

This is the, they're all comedians. We're more famous than you. We actually do funny stuff. We're showing them. a YouTube video Friday at the museum. I bet you've already seen this. Yeah, I bet you've seen someone wearing this

merch in your store. You're taking up your hat, looking at it. Actually, actually, I thought about diarrhea restaurant. Actually, and you should serve me diarrhea. It must be like office Christmas party when you're a Dick's Last Resort waiter and you see a fat lady walk in. Yeah, that's amazing.

Yeah, then you get to write, ordered the food on her hat. Wants everything to eat. Wants everything to eat. Yeah, she wanted to. food. You're going so, your shit doesn't even fit on the hat. You're really crunching the last. She ordered the Pepsi.

Can I get you guys started on some drinks? Maybe the fat whale would like a whole ocean of water. That's what I would say. Oh, I'm sure, we don't have any cruel. They're so fucking bad, man. Oh my God. Yeah, wait, we would be good. We should start a restaurant like that. Yeah. A fancy

restaurant like that. Oh, yeah, because you can't, I mean, food is probably terrible at Dick's last resort. Dick's last resort has cornered the market. The Dix Resort. The Dix Resort. A whole resort. They're mean to you the whole time at the hotel. You're not going to fit in an awesome water slide.

The record-breaking water slide. They knock on your hotel room door to just come roast it. They're like that clean all the cum off your fucking face. Snore last night much? Yeah, we all stay in the hotel at night and we listen to your room. You get everyone, your waiter or whatever is the guy that sleeps next to you. Like every room, it's like they sell. every other room.

So the guy has to, the guy is just intently listening to everything you're doing. And we have like a whole writer's staff of people who's just watching the security camera footage all day. Just Truman's show. This is the,

Phoenix when the cleaning staff comes in, they just have little post-it notes that they put on, like, under JIS sock, just JIS much. If you like to. P.U, it stinks in here. Yeah, that's on the used toilet paper. Yeah. They put little like notes

that are the size of the like the toilet water hole. So every time flush and insult comes out. Ooh, that's actually really nice. That's smart. But an insulting toilet, I think, is... It should be...

It should be blue-chie's audio, you're right. Yeah, there should just be a sound clip in the toilet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, really? I don't want to fucking eat this. Please, please.

It's funny. This talking toilet is a completely different comedian. You cannot... Oh, God. For real? No matter how you slice in a talking toilet, If it's mean or it's nice, if it likes what you're doing,

it's different. It's always just, it's just, it's just, everything would have to do. If in a hotel, though, everything has to be insulting.

Yeah. The toilet is talking to you. The microwave is the only thing that likes what you're doing. Oh, I love it. They're trying to solve it. They're trying to make the toilet

fit into the whole, the whole thing. So they just have it when you flush it, it plays a clip and it'll be like, nice haircut. What do you show your barber, dumb and dumber? Just would not related to a toilet.

It can't be toilet stuff. It's like a pole street toilet. I just think everything should be insulting. You should be insulted. The bed should insults you in your sleep. And the alarm clock should say, screw you when you wake up. If you sleep on your stomach on the bed,

the bed says your belly's fat. And if you sleep on your back, it says your butt sticks. Ew, your fucking butt stick. Roll over, everything you own should smell you and comment on it. It all just be smells. Just everything should say your butt sticks.

If you sleep on your side, though, I can think of his nice fucking legs side much yeah your leg stinks try the other side this side's worse

nice tiny little arm shrimp half your butt stinks even I'm always smelling half your butt yeah here it is that already fucking stinks sleep on your back it says your butt stinks

sleep on your side it says half of your butt stinks and sleep on your stomach it says ew I can smell your butt from here there or you're caught pretty good no no because that

we don't know you can be sexually harassing people your cock or vagina Not everyone has a stinky cock, but everyone has a stinky butt. Maybe you have a, maybe just a one employee for every room who sits in there and there's a speaker. Or there's a speaker in every single device. So it's like an escape room. Yeah.

And you have to. The stinky room. Yeah. You have to see how long you can endure that. Ender your own stick. It's like one of the haunted house you sign a waiver for. Oh, yeah. And you sit there.

A wave. That's a good idea. What about an insult? Welcome. How about an insult house? Yeah. That is like one of those. you walk through and it's all the dick's last resort, it's like,

what's up, fatty? Then we get $10,000 and we get all the way through. They have to stay there for like two weeks. No, it's an hour. Yes. It's one hour. I got it's leather face. Yeah, you're calling me leather face.

Okay, pizza face. Yeah, that would be maybe too mean to a kid. Yeah. It's really ruined kids. It's a really. Pizza face? Leather face making that face. The autistic guy who just got his first summer job at the haunted house.

This is amazing. I'm skipping around the list now, but number 14 is disappointing is the same as bad. Horrible opinion to have. Disappointing is the same as bad. This is why everyone hates, Liv and Maddie, Sanjay and Craig, the Good Dinosaur, Carr's 2, Bread Winners, Rabbids Invasion, High School Musical, 1, 2, Fox and the Hound 2, O'Loss, Frozen Adventure. Basically, anything that's considered overrated or underrated.

Because it's disappointing more than anything else, I see. This list is, like, making me realize, like, how much of, how out of step I am with culture. Yeah. Well, these are, yeah, I didn't know that these were the popular opinions. Yeah. These are popular opinions. as bad mature is the same as good old is the same as bad

they're all about things being the same as good or bad. Fiction is the same as reality that was not a great opinion We should try to do some more of our crazy hot takes from the group chat because those opinions are actually kind of unpopular

I remember saying that I thought Casino Royale clears Pulp Fiction yeah no I don't think anybody gave you anything on that one but that's true I think we didn't want to touch it I haven't seen Pulp Fiction since I think high school I saw it recently but you know what

With that movie, I never finish it. Yeah, Pulp, I also think when I watched Pulp Fiction in high school, I was like, I don't like this that much. Or it was, I thought that all of his other movies were cooler. Yeah, it's kind of true. Yeah. But what was the original? I think people saw Pulp Fiction and they went,

what the fuck? Why doesn't make any sense? But then we grow up when we have Django Unchained and we go, oh, yeah. That's true. Oh, yeah. Because you watch Django Unchained, and then you go back and you watch Pulp Fiction, you're like, what the fuck is that?

Okay. That's just fucking pedestrian compared to the shit that I just saw in It's barely nonlinear First of all, it's set in a normal city Yeah, like way to slaves What the fuck? There's so many slaves in Django There is a lot of slaves in Jango though

Yeah, I mean, seriously, you're going to realize that until you re-watch it There's so many slaves in Janko Yeah You're like, who finally You're done watching all the slave stuff in Jango No more funners Great Great, okay

Great, slaves I'm sorry you think there's a movie about slaves. The title card is up. You're like, okay, now we're going to go to the modern times. We got a throw it out of the way. We get it.

We got like the whole history of the horrible. Yeah, this is what happened in the United States. North America is so long. Now let's move to the future, the year 3,000. Now can we just move past all this stuff?

Django is clearly an alien's name of an alien. Can we just show the alien? It's a movie about an alien. You never see him. It's all this crap about how horrible America is. Yeah. Yeah, but it is a. Then you go to America

3,000 years in the future. I mean, it's a harrowing movie. It is harrowing. That's the worst part. Really? But it's not humans. Oh, well, that's whatever. Badgers and other animals.

Because it's so much fun, Jan. What's that from? What is that from? No, no, it's fine. We just don't know what that is. Who's Jan? Jam. Jan from the office?

Is Jan Levinson Gould? Or Jan? Jim Brady Quintan Tonsino shuts down Karen reporter for asking him, he's wearing that orange hockey jersey and she says, why do you always do those gory movies? And he says, because it's so much fun.

I thought it might be funny if she asks, why do you keep making harrowing? She pretty much did. His movies are so are deeply harrowing. Yeah. I don't know what that word means. It is showcased like the pain of heroin is like, oh, it's a little bit scary or something.

There are some words that people use that completely meaningless, like intrepid. It doesn't mean... It means... Nesent. It's new. Shut up. Nason is new?

I thought nascent was something else. I thought Nacent was like... It's emerging. Yeah. I thought Nacent was like... Young? Well, I don't know. Undeveloped.

Any one of these words... Yeah, I thought that was like developing. I guess that's new. I guess that's the same thing. Heroing is like... In my mind, when I hear harrowing, I think of something that attacks you. that's what it means

because it attacks your brain it's fucking stupid to say harrowing it's like a thing tail after yeah harrowing is like upsetting or like it unsettles you it unsettles your mind but I've never once been like wow I'm harrowed

yeah I've been harrowed when somebody maybe I live a worse life than you but you're harrowed constantly harrowed a lot in my life I can't lie disturbed maybe I've rarely Harold is like it it's like

when you're lying awake and you're being harrowing rowed by it. Oh, I think of man. When somebody says something is haunting, someone says something is haunting and it's not even related to Halloween or anything like that. Yeah, it's fucking bullshit.

That's stupid. Well, you're thinking haunted. Haunting rendition. But I'm thinking of it when I think haunted. It's always a rendition. Intrepid is always a reporter. Yeah, this stuff always makes me upset when it's like clearly, and obviously this is just what language is. But whenever you can tell that people just,

there are just, yes, sets of words that people always use compromise and then you know someone's about to say integrity there's just yeah it's just there's little like things that people say and it's like it's so like you're a baby you're just repeating and and while we're on that but you everybody does that is kind of how talking it is just what talking is but it makes it you learn i mean oh my god the first time you try an amazing word yeah yeah that does feel good and nobody notices you feel like you got away with it you're like yeah or just that there's just like oh yeah don's some real Donzorly light.

You said something really dumb? No, I'm saying that's the feeling of getting one of these words out. Oh, Donzerly light. Damn, I just said stupid-ass shit. Nobody noticed. Nobody's going to call me on that. That's fucking amazing. That don'tzerly light that comes through.

Yeah. What is that one? By the don'tsorly life. Oh, I remember. You know when someone says downs-erly they're about to say. It's crazy. That one made it into that fucking song. I just remembered one that was specifically pissing me off.

It is not even something that people say that. much, but just the phrase all too well. I know this all too. It's like, what you think about what the fuck does that mean? It literally doesn't make... I know that very well. All too well. It's like nonsense.

Yeah. It's just because people say it that people say it. This is basically reading and writing is fucking all bullshit. It's all crap. It's fucking stupid. And here's fucking nothing. Here's my gripe. How come procrocious always is followed by child? Ride it one more.

How come it's always followed by child? Childhood. Why can't you have a precocious adult? He was a precocious old man. I think that one. I think his precocious means stunning for your age. But people are stunning me at 80. Here's the one that actually drives me crazy. When people say, I was living vicariously through you. Yeah.

Because you should just say, I was being vicarious with you. Because to say I was living vicariously through you, to be vicarious is to live through someone. So it's like saying, I was eating McDonald's hungrily. eating, I was by curiously it's like literally wouldn't notice if somebody I know said I was eating McDonald's hungrily

yeah I'm sure I think I've said that I think you have what about I was hungrily starving many times God I'm hungryly starving yeah God I'm hungrily starving I was definitely said that that's literally exactly how we talk

it's funny yeah but people don't realize they're doing it no yeah when people say I was living vicariously through you. They think they're being smart and out saying something like, I was hungrily starving.

There's something smart people say. I was smartly. I was hungry. I was hungry. I am kind of hungry starving. Me too. I could. Is that one of those things

that's annoying to say? I could eat. I could eat is good. Because like it doesn't mean I could eat. I could eat is good. Okay. That's a good one. Kid cut eat.

Kid cut eat. Yeah, that's a big one. Yeah, that one is annoying. Kid cuttee. Kid cut. The lonely stoner. That's is like way overused at this point. Yeah, the lonely stoner.

The lonely stoner is... New is the same as bad. Bad is the same as awful. Their list is nothing. Go to the other one. You didn't even scroll through this list before you picked? No, I did. Listen, he only had all day to do it.

And yesterday. And yesterday to find it. It's completely fine, man. Well, there's a lot of stuff we were talking about. We were more interested in other stuff than this list. That's fine. We were talking about language and we came up with a restaurant idea. I think all this stuff is maybe better than the list itself.

Definitely. It's a destination, I would say more of a restaurant. Yeah. There's a restaurant in it that's just normal. Well, okay. But the food is mean. Here's something to tie it all together. Number 114, I Carly is one of the best TV shows ever.

That's a terrible, a terrible opinion. See above. No way. That's a fine show. Used to be funny. Did you see the, the like what was that shit called like Carly's life

you're gonna fucking get some food soon I ate a chicken explosion Me too I ate a porch Tell them about the chicken explosion What is that? Have I not told you guys about them? You told me about the chicken explosion You posted it Is a reheated

strips like I basically break up strips Of rotissory chicken I reheated an oil with Panko And garlic powder And uh... Habanero sauce and Worcester Shire And that's that's one that pisses me off. We're talking about

Yeah, Warchestershire. It's Worcestershire. No, it's Worcestershire. Is it? Yeah, it's Worcestershire. Oh. British.

British, and basically it has rice in it. No, you know what it is? Has rice in it? It's on ice. You make it away rice. Okay. You stir fry this? Yeah, this is just stir fry.

No, it's not sir fry. It's an explosion. No, the rice isn't fried. The rice is just steamed. Where do you blow it up? Yeah. The flavor is an explosion. So it's bar.

It's called chicken explodes on the rice. This is more flavor blasted chicken. It looks like an explosion. Yeah. But not really, though. Pieces of chicken. Yeah. Like the chicken exploded.

Yeah. And I ripped up the chicken with my fingers. The chicken exploded. And it was like flying through like a Panko factory and a garlic powder plant. And then it landed on your plate on some rice that you were about to eat plain. You say this is a complete explosion. Every time I eat it, that's not a chicken explosion. I was like, what do you know?

We're getting it from all sides, man. That's horrible. I'm sorry, we had it. I set you up for this because I knew exactly this is what's going to happen. It's good. Because I've heard the tail of the chicken explosion before. Well, it was a recipe, not a tail. Yeah.

Yeah, well, the tail is kind of the explosion. I don't think I would call it an explosion, though. What would you call it? I guess I would call it a, I mean, yeah, flavor blasted chicken or... Why do you need to call it? Or maybe. I don't ever make food and be like, okay. This looks really good.

What am I going to call this? It's fun to call it stuff. That's basically. I can't eat it until it has a name, though. Well, if it's something you invented. No, that's kind of trite. I wish that that's what happened, but because it's funny. But the truth is, that's always what it was going to be called.

You said I, you set out to make an explosion. When you get a puppy, and you're just like, that's Cooper. There's just no way to eat it. So, like, what are we going to call on dog, Oreo? It's like, oh, that's always been, Cooper. That, to me, is chicken explosion. It came out as chicken explosion. Yeah.

At what point did you realize maybe it was chicken explosion the first time you cooked it? Was it when the chicken was in the thing? That's what I tasted. Was this? I tasted it, and I looked down at what it looked like, because it tastes like an explosion, and it looks like an explosion. Can I have it? Yeah.

I'm going to make chicken explosion for you guys. We should have tried it on the pod. Please make chicken explosion for it. It's really fucking yummy too. It sounds so good to me right now. Does that have any veggies? Yeah,

I make asparagus with it. Asparagus is a good side. Sparagus is the fuse. Anything like a broccoli or anything in the muskish family. But asparagus, it's just old bay, garlic powder, olive oil, in the oven for 20 minutes at 420. And then when you take it out,

it's cracked pepper and lemon. You could, during the winter months, you could put Brussels sprouts, fried Brussels sprouts in it too. Russell sprouts is what you would call that. Yeah, but those fucking stink like shit. Russell sprouts is the best. Yeah, I love them, but I just can't have them in my house.

They do, they smell the whole world. Where are you putting them? Just on my fucking counter. Just put them on the fucking counter. Just get them in a little. You got to wait right away. You got to cool down when you buy them. No, you don't.

Oh. You just eat them. Someone told me. You need them fried. You're storing them in your humidifier. Well, you got to defrost, though. The whole house smells like... You're buying frozen Brussels sprouts?

Put them into your central air. Just put them in the air conditioner so they cool off faster because they're piping hot out of the store. And they smell like shit. It sounded like you're buying frozen ones. No, about the hottest ones that are. The ones that are sitting under that light for a row of the time. Yeah, the ones that you get from the grab and go right next to the rotisserie chicken. And I just don't like having to cut individually all the backs of it.

You can buy them cut it. Number 159. People who aren't sensible should drink alcohol. that's a very bad unpopular opinion or popular opinion yeah the idea well a very bad

popular opinion I can't count the amount of times that somebody has said to me people who aren't sensible should drink alcohol it's fucking annoying at this point yeah I agree it's a horrible opinion I'm sick of hearing it

it's at the end of every ad I'm not sensible and I drank which is something that we all do popular opinion but it's a terrible one it's a crime Pierce.

So Pierce has an incredible Pierce, Campion. How did you make your YouTube just say just your first name? What do you mean? He did a dash. Oh, my ad has a dash in it, but you can make your name say anything.

Yeah, it's just an... A bloody fucking hell. Matter of editing. If you're asking why I did it, it's because I think it's cool. It is cool. That's why I asked how you did it. Point is, you have an amazing new project

that is on YouTube. I don't know how you're describing it. I don't know. It's just kind of experimenting with things to call it. It's really good. It's a taping of two different tapes of your performance. No. No.

One with added clips from the other one. That's right. And they're brief. And brief portions. Patrick shot, I would say most of the footage that ended up in the piece. I got behind the camera. I'm convinced that anyone who's watching it has probably already seen it. But if you haven't, and I'm sure you're going to wonder what can I see this guy in?

After watching this episode. So you take apart an animal. That's right. A frog. I take apart a frog. You dissecting a frog. I dissect a frog, among other things. As well as doing all types of information.

But not a funny. Not a funny frog. I actually found the least funny frog on the market. Was that tough when you were selecting the frog to get one that's like, I don't want this to be like a joke? Yeah, like nothing. Nothing silly. Yeah. That kind of a frog.

Yeah. It's funny because they. really push those on you when you're shopping. That doesn't surprise me. Yeah. I'll really sell a lot more of them. I don't know. Go watch it. We'll put a link. We'll put a link in. It would mean a lot to me if it did gangbusters. It was everyone's favorite video.

Please go watch it. And go to Chamber of Reason also. Oh, yes. Yeah, it's kind of on ice right now. There's Derek's in Japan. Well, hiatus. Don't check it out. Look out for an episode coming out with Patrick very soon. Oh. Wow. It's two

peas in a pod. the return We will be in Portland and Seattle very soon Buy tickets to that also Today I think at 1 p.m. tickets go on sale For our show at the Bell House New York City In Brooklyn, New York

Yeah On Tax Day Tax Day which I believe is April 15th I want to say I'll put the tickets for that on our website Is that? Yeah I was going to say Is that what time is that show? At night What time at night?

I don't know, probably seven something. Okay, I was going to say if we're there, if we're doing the nine o'clock show, we could all stay till 12 and watch Caleb turn 28. No, it'd actually be the, it's the next day after that. So we could wait until my birthday eve. Right, it is, okay, it's the 17th. A nice try, July 23rd, by the way. Yeah, and all that will be on.

And come see my Shemp screening show as well. When is that? That's on the March 23rd. And the windzamer. Can I come? You can't come. Because you look a little too much like Curly, and this is not a night for Curley. What if I dress up as such as Shimp?

You can do that. Okay. The ceiling's going to collapse on us right now. Dr. Poopooke music. I took special ed classes growing up. In that class, they used to show us that show number. How the fuck was I supposed to learn math? David Cromwell.

Mr. E. Covee. Comey Clove for in the back state of your Roanburg and I know you. There's already somebody rapping on. Wait for the chorus to end. Oh my wife and beat my meat of my meat.

Oh, that's my meat. Oh, that's such a nice treat. When it comes to a rap, I won't be defeat. Where's my parakeet? That's indiscreet tendersky. Nut meat, pro feet, plate, feet, complete, Bitter sweet, bittersweet, excrete, complete, backseat, over you, sweet meat, web, beat, unseek, complete, off, feed over, pleats, treat,

teeth, teeth, meat, treat, meat, treat, beat, cheat, sweet, meat, meat, cheat, meat, heat, meat, meat, seed, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, receipt, discrete, discreet, concrete, concrete. Rap about downsizing. Matt Damon, he's a sensation. Wouldn't need to get guys like this. With the blonde hair, they look so cool.

And he's from Ben Affleck. He's really smart in school in Good Girl Hunting. Oh, that was Damon. That's a mistake that will save the nation. Oh, you don't know what we're doing here. We're downsizing. At this place, it's a nice pricing. Oh, you're rapping over the chorus.

I didn't think you just stopped through the chorus. He wrapped over the chorus. How are we going to know when the chorus? How long is this beat? I've been rapping for at least three years. I put it, I looped it so that, I don't know. This is a Patrick classic. I don't have any more.

I don't have any more rap. 30 minutes of rapable beat and then five whole minutes of quarter minutes. We got Patrick on the track. This is dark twisted fantasy shit where every song's 15 minutes long. Oh, here comes the chorus again. I love, that's my favorite post. I love when the chorus comes in. Well, I thought more people would hop in at some point.